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magicalrocketships · 6 months

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☔

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Oh, I'm sure I've talked about this before but L U C K I L Y I retain zero information, particularly when I'm tired, so this means I get to explain it again.

SO, the plot which I won't ever write because it gets pretty dark and it also requires me to make up an injury (I got the idea from the first series of Chicago Fire, where the dude whose name I've forgotten (no, really, I retain no information anymore) has a life-changing made-up ?neck? injury where he requires surgery and it will take one year+ to recover from the surgery so he self-medicates and then it's miraculously fixed by a dazzling new surgery in one episode after making it an entire plot for an entire season):

Canon divergence somewhere along the way, maybe the pandemic doesn't happen, maybe he never really got as publicly involved in streaming, whatever, but what's key is that Max doesn't have anything really going on outside of racing and it's this year

So Daniel's left RB/Mcl, and Max is focused focused focused on racing and maybe he gets his first world championship a year earlier but whatever happens, he doesn't build that strong sense of home outside of racing (no cats, no partner, no online streaming, just what's becoming an unhealthy focus on racing and winning at all costs)

Then there's an accident. It happens off-track, so it's not a racing incident, and it's not Max's fault. His car gets hit. And Max is injured. He breaks something in his neck (I am assured this injury does not exist in the manner employed by Chicago Fire. For the purpose of this imaginary not-to-be-written fic, it 100% exists).

Max is told he can't race, maybe forever, but likely for at least a year post surgery

(and at this point I'm just going to c&p from the chat fic doc I saved months and months ago, and it's going under a cut with a content warning here for suicidal thoughts, some mention of disordered eating and childhood abuse, look after yourself, pals)

surviving to drive: the max verstappen recovery story (~3k)

Anyway max realises that he has exactly one (1) thing in his life, racing, and it's just come crashing down and he's v emotionally unhealthy as we know and has nothing else going on so when he loses racing he believes there is literally no other reason to keep going plus he's in hospital

anyway daniel ignores all of max's emotionally unhealthy bans on hospital visitors and sneaks in to see him and he's like... "something is very wrong here"

he leaves and max thinks he's chased him away but then daniel comes back later that day and he's like, "you don't have to have the surgery in this hospital, you can have it done in any of these places *presents a list* so pick a place and we'll go there instead"

so yeah they just go somewhere else and daniel rents them a house and just hangs out with a secretly suicidal max who sees precisely no reason to wake up every morning if he's not racing

and daniel has precisely zero idea that max is still here/alive/whatever just because daniel is there every night and every morning and max doesn't want daniel to have to see him like that

ANYWAY max is very clearly not in a good place and his dad sends him messages telling him how he can improve his recovery and get better faster

it becomes more difficult for max to hide the fact that he's alive mostly by virtue of not being dead right now

and he's had the surgery or whatever and he's looking at a 12 month recovery so he's definitely out for the whole of the next season so daniel's like, "It doesn't matter how long recovery takes, take your time" which of course he has precisely zero idea of how to deal with since he's been racing so long and has nothing else in his life

Something happens idk he breaks a glass and Daniel finds him with cut hands and a piece of glass idk and Daniel's like, "a new crisis! I can help with that! this is clearly not something that max has been dealing with daily for weeks now, it's a new thing!"

so he's like, IT'S THERAPY TIME BABY, no more clutching a handful of broken glass and bleeding everywhere, superdaniel is here to help

yada yada finds max a therapist and max HATES IT, HAAAAATES IT, he's uncomfortable and the therapist makes him feel worse and he still wants to like... not be here if he can't race today, he can't wait a whole year

and daniel asks him how it's going and Max lies because why wouldn't he and he's been doing miserable things his entire life that he didn't want to do so what's another thing on top of everything else

meanwhile Daniel's like... hmmmm this is scary Max looks worse

and he sits in on a therapy session and half way through he's like, "nope, we're ending this, sorry, bye, you can have the money for the whole hour but we're never speaking to you again"

points out to Max that that therapist was awful and why didn't Max just tell him how awful it was and how it made him feel

Max, who's never had a choice over anything in his entire life: "..."

anyway he gets max to try another couple of therapists and in the end there's one who is NOT monstrously awful and does not make Max feel like he wants to scratch his own skin off

so Max gets THERAPY and it becomes clear that max's childhood was weaponised beyond belief and he doesn't even know what foods he likes and doesn't like

because he never got a choice and he was always on some kind of food plan that his dad could withhold or not according to how max was doing in every other area of his life

well of course, he gets a whole year of therapy and it turns out his dad was an abusive asshole and he is BLOCKED from Max's phone

and Max has to do things like "make sure his life has more than just racing in it"

so he reads a book

the first one he's ever read

he tries food and tries to figure out if he likes it or if it's just a source of energy he has to eat anyway

he gets a PLANT

it DIES

anyway whatever he gets therapy and he lives in a house with daniel and is allowed to feel some things because he never really felt anything before

and daniel goes off and does some promo stuff idk and films some shit from the house and max is maybe in the background or something and no one's heard from him in ages and in fandom it's all like MAX IS IN DANIEL'S HOUSE etc

and the drive to survive people get in touch and are like, can we interview you for the series even if you're not on the grid, do some stuff about your recovery etc etc

and max is like... i guess

he's not, like, actively suicidal any more because his life has actual pillars of stuff that isn't just racing

his life isn't just like dependent on one jenga tower of racing with the pieces falling down

like, he can't wait to get back to racing but he's like, six months in to therapy or whatever and he's been living with daniel and it's... nice to just... watch movies with him and eat stuff and play computer games (daniel banned racing games so max has had to... compromise)

and maybe there are some... warm feelings

some best friend shit when he's never had real time for a best friend

some "i could probably spend more time with daniel in a forever kind of a way and not get tired of it" you know

BUT ALSO, daniel blowing up his life for max, he saw max in that hospital room and didn't once question what it would mean to him to step back and just... fuck shit up so that max would be okay

anyway drive to survive team show up and they do a bit of interviewing and it is VERY CLEAR that this isn't a natural fit for an episode because Max has, for once, got some shit to say

so they come back with an idea for a spin off documentary that's just Max and this injury and getting back to driving

because Daniel has kind of been fielding red bull this whole time, saying "he's not racing this year, leave him alone, give him some space", and he's got to go out and talk to them or do some promo stuff with them, whatever, he's going away

Max says the timing is good because he can do the main body of the interviewing about what's come before etc, then Daniel can come back and do his bits

and then the docu team are like, "where do you think you'd be right now if you hadn't crashed" and Max looks at the camera and says, "dead, I think" and the team know they're on to a winner because Max has realised that actually, driving like you don't care if you're alive if you don't win isn't actually okay

anyway Max does the documentary interviews and Daniel comes back and Max tells him he can talk about whatever he wants, it's fine but when the team ask him about helping Max when he realised he wasn't coping, Daniel won't give any details and says it's Max's story to tell and he just wanted to make sure his best friend was okay

not realising that he looks very much in love during this idk

ANYWAY SOME TIME PASSES and they do a bit more documentary stuff and Max is preparing to race again and Daniel is doing some stuff with red bull and he flies out somewhere to do an interview and photoshoot for some magazine or other.

The first clips from the documentary are released and they're on youtube and clipped up for instagram and Max posts them but the first picture is just like, 'this contains discussion of suicidal thoughts' etc

Daniel is preparing for this photoshoot and interview

anyway the first clip is about Max in hospital and they go straight in for the kill, Max saying, "I didn't want to live if I couldn't race.

"I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to speak to anyone, I shouted at the nurses, I just wanted to get somewhere so I could figure out how not to wake up again. And then Daniel walked in.

"He didn't know how bad it was, he didn't know anything specific, but he knew something was wrong and he got me out of there and he brought me here and got my surgery moved. And he didn't know he saved my life that day. He won't know until he sees this. But he saved my life that day."

END OF CLIP ONE, start of clip two

"You were suicidal," the interviewer says

"Yes," Max says. "The only thing that stopped me was that I didn't want Daniel to find me. He'd moved me to a different hospital and he'd rented this place for us so it was close to the doctors, and every day I woke up and he never knew that he kept me alive just by being here."

"But he found out in the end."

"Not how bad it was. Just that it was bad. And he got me help. And when that help didn't work, he got me more help. He's the best friend I've ever had, and I still haven't been able to tell him how bad it got."

end of clip two, start of clip three

except this clip is DANIEL

"I snuck in to see him in hospital. he wasn't doing great. He was kind of lost, and I didn't really know what I could do, but, like, I figured he needed some space so I got him some. Different hospital, different views, nothing to remind him about racing."

"But he was struggling?"

"Yeah," Daniel says. "He struggled. It was hard to see him when he couldn't race. He's my best friend. It was hard when he wasn't doing so well. But he's doing great now."

smile smile etc Daniel being happy

then a final max clip i think

"Do I still have that drive to win? God, yes. I'm going to win. That hasn't changed. I just want to live as well. I want to wake up tomorrow, and the next day, and the one after that, and win."

then a final slide with the documentary logo on and some suicide prevention helplines, idk

ANYWAY imagine Daniel, if you will, at a photography studio about to have pictures taken, crying his eyes out in the toilets because he's just found out Max wanted to die

so Daniel, who is always very professional, entirely bails on both the photo shoot and the interview so he can go home because he needs to see max

and Max lent him his plane because that's a normal thing excessively rich world champions have so it's not a fucking nightmare getting back from... wherever the interview is, somewhere not that far away in europe

and Daniel chooses to respond to Max's documentary clips on instagram

[ASIDE, my beloved friend as I was telling her this over Telegram, in response to that above: WHY????

Me: because this is MY 4am hurt comfort fic baby]

so anyway he makes a text post that just says Max is the bravest and best person he knows, he's fought so hard to be here, and that there hasn't been a day in Daniel's whole entire life that would have been better if Max wasn't here on this planet, and he's so glad he stayed

and then another one which is like, if anyone else feels like they don't want to go on, please stay, people love you, here's some helpline numbers etc

and Max just replies to him with a blue heart

important to understand that this is my four am comfort fic so it is ENTIRELY appropriate that Daniel walks through the door and both hugs him and starts to cry

and Max hugs him back but does not cry because Max has broken through a lot of shit in therapy but he is not a crier

but he IS accidentally in love with Daniel

and Max makes some Choices in his life, as Daniel does, but this choice involves touching Daniel's cheek and glancing at his mouth and then up at Daniel and Daniel kind of nodding and then there is a KISS

which is badly timed really considering that today has been very emotional and Daniel is still crying and has been travelling etc and they've never actually addressed any of this

so Daniel needs a moment and he goes into the bathroom to stare manfully into the mirror and wash his hands and face and when he comes out Max doesn't let him say anything, just launches into a multi point in-person powerpoint about how they should be together

[my friend: maxplaining his way into a relationshippp]

which Daniel, it turns out, entirely agrees with, but he's really kind of emotionally burnt out right now and would really just like a hug and a sit down, so he tells Max yes, of course, but could they just talk about it later and hug right now

How good is Max at listening to instuctions to stop talking?

not marvellous it turns out but daniel kind of likes it when max gets enthusiastic about stuff

even if the stuff in this case is a multipoint argument in favour of them being quite gay together

OH OH OH now we skip forward a bit

to when Max is racing again

first or second race out there for red bull

and daniel is kind of tied to red bull again

anyway Max WINS

hurray etc he's a conquering hero with a recovered broken neck

so once he's out of the car idk he's done the bit with the team and he spies daniel and goes over to hug him, which the cameras in general love, and then he goes off to do some kind of next step celebratory thing, cool-down room, whatever

only partway there he's like... um

has a feeling, one or two, you know the kind of thing

max hasn't historically been very good at feelings

or healthy choices

but anyway, he decides to act on this one, which is to go back to where Daniel is, and kiss him

which is as much of a surprise to daniel as it is to the whole of the media who are still around to film him

and then Max just turns back around and heads for the podium, so there's a very nice accidental shot of Daniel, afterwards, just smiling and ducking his head and touching his thumb to his lip

which turns into a very popular gif

for reasons

Anyway!! there is a LOT of discussion about Max losing his edge now his focus is not only racing

the documentary talks a lot about Max's childhood abuse and limited food intake etc etc but doesn't mention his dad by name

Daniel races again somehow but probably not in the fic

daniel ends up losing some bet or other and has to do a computer game live stream from his living room of some cosy game idk and the whole thing is interupted by max just living his life in the background

max getting up and sleepily saying morning, max going for a run and kissing him hello, max going in and out of the sim, idk, the two of them making weird noises at each other because they still do that

OH I forgot they buy a house together like immediately after getting together

somewhere green again and it's in both their names because they've lived together for a year already and whatever

and still don't tell anyone they're together even though red bull has them residing at the same address

and ZERO people realise until after the kiss on screen

and obviously the docu clips suggest they've been staying together

and Max gets to say to Christian that they literally own a house together when he expresses some degree of surprise at kissing in public

not their fault no one noticed

Forgot to say that max and Daniel get filmed driving about and max stalls his car and doesn’t know if he likes olives and maybe they forget they’re being filmed

And also that when the documentary finally airs all its eps Netflix on Twitter are like “lol bet you can’t figure out which bits we filmed after they got together and which were before because we certainly can’t, lol”

And Daniel’s in the comments, like “do I get a prize if I get it right”

He gets 9/10 clips right but no one but max knows

Anyway when they buy their house max has zero shits to give about the decor so daniel just gets a decorator in and the only thing max wants is a fancy catio for when they’re not there and his new cats want to go outside

Daniel arranges this because he’s a sucker for max.

anyway that's general plot of surviving to drive: the max verstappen recovery story, the end.

#my fic #fic i wish i was writing #except actually this one is just staying my 4am comfort fic #but i've just told it to you too #content warnings for:#suicidal thoughts #mentions of childhood abuse and disordered eating #surviving to drive: the max verstappen recovery story

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0oolookitsme · 8 months

Text

Been Thinking

Type- One-Shoty Blurb

Verse- Dwd!Harry x Dwd!Y/n

Word Count- 1.6k

Warnings- Smut (soft dominance, a few curse words)

A/n- And, here's the first fic of kinktober!

Kinks- Phone Sex, Guided Masturbation

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

Please rb to share!

Harry was just saving his last document of the day when a meeting was pulled. A meeting that could very well have been done over a few emails, but alas, they couldn't do something that would save their employees even a little of their time.

Thinking that he would only be a bit late, he went into the room not having any idea about his own self that'd be coming out of the same room with 8 files stacked up in his hand. All the ones that needed to be done tonight.

He sat on his chair with all the files sprawled across his desk, and looked at his empty coffee cup in dread. He did not have it in him to go and fetch himself some. So, as unwilling as he was, he defeatedly called the general assistant. Her job was to do just that – it was just Harry who couldn't benefit from it much often considering her infatuation with him.

"A coffee please," he said just when she peeked through the door, slipping his cup that Y/n had left there for him across the desk to have her stay as away from him as possible.

She didn't seem much chirpy today though, considering she just took the cup and left silently – without making any shot at him. It made Harry feel a little relieved, the thought of her finally backing off.

Without much thought, he powered on his laptop and at the same time, dialled up Y/n. He was just calling to let her know that he wouldn't be coming home for the night. And she was normal about it, cursing his office a bit and making him laugh.

It was when he was about to wish her a good night that she muttered something in a small, frail voice. Harry felt alarmed that something was wrong but he figured the problem when she repeated herself on his demand.

"Was thinking about you all day," she said, and after a long pause wished him a good night, hanging up a little later than normal – as if she was waiting for some kind of response. A response that Harry stupidly enough couldn't give. He was just so shocked at her words – she had never been this loud with her needs before. Yes, it's only been six months in their arranged wedding but… still.

Feeling like a prick, he decided to give it a rest. Putting his phone on the desk and just wishing for the coffee to be down his throat already.

Opening up files on his laptop, his head couldn't help but replay the little voice she had very kindly – and indirectly – voiced her needs to him. She said that she had been thinking about him all day, which must mean that she was also eager for him to come home tonight.

God, he can't believe what he's just done. Turned down the needs of the woman who's been making him weak in his knees ever since she's been with him, just because he was too stunned to speak? Rubbing his palm over his hair and fixing his hair a bit, he decided to call her back.

Not the regular call. But, a video call.

He wasn't ready for her to pick up on the first ring. But when he saw her face, he knew that she hadn't intended to pick up. Her hair was a little tousled, lips bitten and plump, eyes a little hazy and, because he squinted, he saw a fine layer of sweat on her forehead.

She surely wasn't sleeping or crying, but Harry shouldn't be thinking about what she really was doing – even though it was as clear as his eye sight.

He immediately opened his mouth and I speak before she could panik. "Don't hang up!" He said quickly. "Please," he trailed off when she paused. For a moment, all he could see was their bedroom ceiling but then she picked up the phone again – her hair now a little matted and sweat wiped off her face.

"I- uh, I'm sorry. I was just-" she stuttered, trying to come up with an explanation, with a lie. However, a shushing sound came through the phone, catching her off guard.

"It's okay, Y/n," he said and she felt a flutter in her stomach at the sound of her name from his mouth. "It should be me apologizing. And I-I'm very sorry," he said, looking at himself with slight disgust in his own brain at his words.

Looking away from him and probably picking at the bedsheet, "it's okay," she said, just as shyly.

"So, tell me. What were you thinking, Y/n?" He spoke, and she couldn't help but clench her thighs tighter.

"Nothing… just about when you'll be home and what would you like for dinner and stuff," she mumbled and while that was a very innocent answer, Harry couldn't help but see past the bullshit.

Humming, he pretended he was thinking hard about something. "Well, I'm not coming home tonight now, am I, darling?" He teased her, feeling more and more dominant in the situation as the time passed by.

Y/n only nodded in response, her eyes never once staying still.

"You can pretend all you want, love. But I can see the fucking mess you've made of yourself," he said impatiently, his voice now hoarse in an attempt to be a little quiet. And also, because under all the nervousness, Y/n's hand had lowered and he could see her red finger prints on her breasts, from when he imagined she was gripping them.

He could see the tips of her ears turn pink, yet she didn't make any effort to cover herself.

"Make that mouth of yours useful, and tell me – were you really thinking about that? Hm?"

"No," she breathed, rolling her lips in and shifting on the bed. "Just wanted you," she continued.

"Where baby?"

"Anywhere. Just wanted you so bad," she whispered lightly, a slight tingle in her nose.

Harry licked his lips, feeling worse about having to stay the night. "Look at you, poor thing. I'm very sorry baby, can't do much from here." He sighed. Leaning back, he put in his airpods. "Help me out a little, will you?" He more of suggested and only smiled when she agreed.

Getting impatien, he cut right to the subject. "Touch yourself for me. I'm here, and I'm listening," he told her, also surprising her.

She hesitated but lied back down when he cooed at her, muttering sweet names as her hand crawled lower and lower. "I can't see you, sweet girl. Put your phone on my bedside table," Harry instructed her, and she did it quickly, desperate for anything type of touch now.

The wetness had started slipping out of her. Her thighs felt wet whenever they rubbed and she was sure some of it was on the bedsheet as well. She knew, that if she touched herself now, she wouldn't be able to last for long. Her nipples were perky and sensitive – a whimper left her mouth with every accidental graze in them.

"Go on, Y/n. Won't give it to your husband?" He said, and Y/n swears she could've came right then and there. Instead, a moan slipped past her lips, and she heard him curse under his breath.

He saw as her hand cover her core, could see her inner thigh that was away from him glistening, and god, does he hate his boss. When her knuckles started moving, Harry could tell that she was in ecstasy. Small sounds started escaping her mouth and the moment she looked at him and sucked her fingers – Harry knew that he hadn't married a woman as innocent as he had thought.

Breathing out with each stroke on her clit, her back arched off the bed. "What are you thinking, Y/n?" She heard him ask, and without much thought she told him.

"About you, Harry. Your fingers, your cock, your mouth," she ranted, her pace increasing with each word.

Harry saw how she was slipping out of her shell, voicing her fantasies to him. And just when he was about to tease her, he heard something. Then again, and again.

She said she was going to come. No, she was yelling his name. No, she's chasing her high, and she's yelling his name. "Fucking hell, Y/n." He gritted through his teeth, feeling like he was going to burst just by the sight of her and the yell of his name in her voice.

"Fuck, I already love you moaning my name," he grunted.

Y/n was long lost now, her hips chasing her own hand as she continued moaning his name.

Harry saw her thighs start to quiver and he prayed that they'd be around his head the next time – while he sucked on her again and again. "I can't hear you – louder, baby." He urged her own, feeling pleasure in her pleasure.

"Fuck, Harry!" She screamed right when her thighs cleanched around her hand. Her other hand kneading her boob a little lightly now.

Her cheeks were flushed, sweat coated her hairline and her forehead, her eyes were squeezed shut and her body shook as her hand was still rubbing her core, getting her through her high.

Slowly and slowly, her hand came out of the cage of her thighs, and went right up to her mouth as she once again looked at him while sucking on them. A smile creeped up on her mouth and once she got a hold of her phone again, she couldn't help but let out a laugh at the sight of his sweaty face.

"You really don't know the things you do to me, Y/n," he said hoarsely, letting his head fall back and shutting his eyes tightly..

"Neither did you until now," she shrugged with a grin spreading on her face, and she knew she was in too deep when he chuckled.

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fyod · 1 year

Text

self indulgent, leave me alone. he dresses in lolita!!! aryu does too!!! written in hc form, excuse any errors. rbs are appreciated.

sub chigiri hyoma + dom nonbinary reader. (no prns used)

content: dollification kink. heavy feminization. crossdressing. anal penetration. that’s it, i think lol.

the dollification of chigiri hyoma. he already had the beautiful aspect as a doll with beautiful features, beautiful hair, beautiful skin and a beautiful body. everything about him was beautiful. however, he was so fucking stubborn. he had a hard time following directions, didnt like to be told what to do and couldn’t shut up. it took a lot of time, patience and effort to break him in. but when you finally did?

doll chigiri that genuinely enjoys wearing whatever you buy him. you just make him feel so handsome, so pretty when you dress him up, take him out and/or have a photoshoot with him. bonus points if you dress up as his counterpart.

doll chigiri who sits quiet and still when your dolling him up. he’s staring at himself in the vanity, hoping you don’t notice the corner of his lips flick up. chigiri’s excited, he can’t help it.

doll chigiri that was taught to speak only when spoken to. and when he does speak, he speaks with clear sentences and an evenly delicate voice. on special occasions, you take over the reins, talking for him. it’s really nothing to him, sitting there all cutely and dolled up while you order his favorite meal at a cafe.

doll chigiri who’s being manhandled on whatever surface there is to get played with because you can’t handle how delectable he looks with lace ruffled thigh highs.

doll chigiri that can’t help but flinch when he feels you intruding, lubed up and stretching him opened. you fill him up in a matter of seconds, until chigiri swears he could feel you in his stomach. the stutter of his breath doesn’t go unnoticed.

doll chigiri who orgasms keeping his noises stifled in his chest.

doll chigiri that tries his damnest to keep all of his expressions at bay but, sometimes he can’t — not when the heat in his lower belly fester the more you touch him there, and there and there. he has to work on keeping his expressions he knows.

doll chigiri who’s heart rate picks up when you start praising him. “the prettiest doll crafted” “made from porcelain” “my good boy” “the one and only princess” while you use his body which ever way you’d like.

doll chigiri who’s always clad in white, ruffled panties. his skin is the brightest pink when when you flip up his underskirt to see a darkening splotch on the front. you can’t help but coo at your doll, pleased. fuck now he’s even more flustered.

doll chigiri with the prettiest moans and prettiest whimpers on earth whenever you give him the permission to. oh and when he cries? like an angel singing a lullaby. cheeks rosy and swollen

doll chigiri who’s spoiled completely rotten. he usually get whatever he wanted. you let him get away with a lot, lashes clumpy with mascara, glittery eyeshadow, peachy lips. all he had to do was tilt his head.

doll chigiri that looks forward to being ruined by you, his maker. makeup ruined, outfit ruined, hair ruined. because when you ruin him, you put him right back together again.

doll chigiri who bites back his cries when you ignore his stiffening cock in favor of worshipping every other inch of his body. he needs it s’bad but he keeps it to himself, knowing how upset you’ll be if he broke character.

doll chigiri who’s favorite pastime is you cleaning him up. bathing/showering him, washing his hair and following it’s routine, lotioning him up, dressing him for bedtime — surrounding him in all kinds of sweet scents.

doll chigiri who won’t ever admit how fucking good it feels to get into his role, to stop thinking, that makes him feel so fucking warm and fuzzy.

#this was getting so long omsgsj #chigiri hyoma smut #chigiri smut #sub bllk #sub blue lock #blue lock smut #bllk smut #chigiri hyoma x reader #chigiri x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #dom reader #dom!reader #sub character #chigiri hyoma.

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livefastdriveyoung · 3 months

Text

Takeaways from Testing Day 1

The RB-20 Maintains Status Quo - Max ended a full 1.162 (don't quote me but I think that's the correct math) ahead of Lando Norris in P2. The car did not appear to struggle under its 142 laps. It also remained consistent across majority of the runs. Checo will drive tomorrow.

Aston Martin is being underestimated - Fernando Alonso is a world champion, he started his session in P3. He stayed there for a great deal of the session. Even ending in P8 puts him in the points if this is a race. Additionally, Lance pulled through into the top five, taking P4 for a period of time. He's a strong driver, he shouldn't be underestimated. They both finished in the points, and had Lance not lost his mirror he could have pulled a fast lap.

Williams Car is the problem, not the drivers - I cannot reiterate this one enough. Alex Albon had a fuel pump problem, so entirely out of his control. Logan Sargeant has improved. Undoubtedly so. Not only has he built up his muscle and trained hard, he spun out and still managed to get back onto the track, and sit at P10 for most of the session before ending P11. Allegedly the reason he had a spin out was also because of a gearbox/transmission error. Whether it was the cause or the issue was the result, he held it together well. The car is having problems, not the drivers.

Mercedes Performance - We know that Lewis Hamilton is a strong driver. He's never been the best qualifier when there are competitive cars. Yes, George did not do as well as he could have, ending with P12, but he experienced at least two lock-ups. There's no guarantee that the issues don't exist in Lewis's car as well. We'll see what happens.

The complaint about their front wing design is interesting. F1 and FIA are separate organizations. Mercedes wouldn't blatantly violate the letter of the law, they would be the first team to be called out for it. They follow the letter and have the approval of the FIA. It has been approved. Whether F1's concern about the 'spirit' of the law being violated is something that could impact them, I don't know. I'm sure that the new rules will include a provision against this next year, but any immediate action, I doubt. Symonds is unimpressed.

Haas is not to be thrown out of the running - yet - A new team principal means that there are going to be changes. They straight out said the focus was on the Tyres and not on performance. While they are not a strong team, I think that throwing them away just because you might have preferred Guenther, or like to rely on what you already know, this isn't that. Yet.

Visa Cash-App Racing Bulls - Forget it, I'm calling them V-CARB. Anyway, Daniel Ricciardo, (LOL that autocorrected to all caps which is so funny) had minimal struggle with the car. His first few laps were not great,, but to end in P4 is wonderful. His statements about a podium in the beginning of the season being a dream not a reality is interesting, but I wonder if that is self-deprecation/spreading the party message from within Red Bull's house. Yuki finished P13, but, again, only had a morning slot. He was high up for a good portion of the day as well. I think this is going to be interesting. The narrative that they are not a junior team anymore seems to be accurate.

Stake did well - The C44 is worlds ahead of last year's model. Additionally, we forget regularly that Bottas was a Mercedes driver, he's won Gps before. Zhou is not a bad driver, I think this might be his last season to prove himself because I think Audi will keep someone who has a history of winning, and if the rumors are true, Carlos Sainz will be getting one of the seats. But that might motivate him. He's also young, 24 is below the mean age of the drivers (29) and if he can demonstrate improvements, they might keep him over Bottas.

Ferrari Fights - Buckle down y'all. I don't think that Carlos will do anything to sabotage Charles, he's not an idiot, but he's going to do what he has to in order to prove that Ferrari are losing out on a driver. He was P3 today. Charles is great, we know he can drive, his improvement is clear. I'm curious as to what that is going to look like.

if he's moved on from this, he's going to need to demonstrate to Audi that he can be a First Driver.

Alpine - Pierre pulled P5 right at the end. Ocon is toward the bottom. I'm not sure what's going on in house but nobody is happy allegedly. Guess we'll see.

#f1 #f1 testing #red bull racing #vcarb #mercedes #ferrari #williams racing #max verstappen #george russell #alex albon #logan sargeant #daniel ricciardo

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kanene-yaaay · 7 months

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The Time

Heya heyaaa

Oof, thing feel really serious when I put a title javagcwwuvwdodj but! It's a proper moment to use a title here, I think. After all, I came to say goodbye.

Yeah, who would think ahfwtwcev

I have been thinking and pondering about this for some months now, since June when That Stuff happened and I had to jump away from here and uhhh it feels corny to say that but a lot of things changed to me and I changed a lot together with everything too.

So, I think it's my time to let this blog go. Not because I feel bad about it now or anything but... I am no longer that attached to tickling to maintain it. It's still cute, playful and comforting, but it is now a part of a lot of other things that are just as cute, playful and comforting to me.

This blog had a good run and I'm incredibly grateful because of it. Six entire years, if I am not mistaken, and I won't delete it anytime soon so the numbers will keep going! For as long as it wants or it is allowed to. All my fics, my headcanons, my rambles and reblogs will stay here because I don't want nor have the heart to delete it. There are such amazing, wonderful and well created arts and stories in this community that deserve all the attention and all the screams.

And! Talking about that! The people! I would like to say the biggest and most heartful thank you that you could ever imagine. Full of big hugs and smiles. I've met awesome people here that I will forever hold dear in my heart. Thank you for the company and the fun and for being so lovely and inspiring to me, all of you. It doesn't matter if we talked for years or minutes, thank you very much. It was so cool! @oliviaischillin1204, @august-anon, @flames-tstuff, @soft--valentine, @honeydew-sillies, @carrie-tate, @trashyswitch, @rosileeduckie, @squeaky-n-blushy, @why-not-a-tickle-blog, @thetickleeraven, @a-fluffer-nutter, @fluffyskies, @just-open-the-fridge-yo, @fluffystuffies, @ijustliketickling, @veryblushyswitch also everyone that is no longer in the community. If you see this, I remember you! Big hug!

And thank you so much for all of you that supported my blog and my work in any and every way. Commenting, reblogging, liking, sending askys about it... It really meant (and means!) a whole lot to me and Def is one of the reasons that kept me creating for so so long and so so much. It was the reason I stopped feeling so self conscious about my English and helped me to try new things and scenarios. Please accept this cookie as a token of my appreciation 🍪 I love to see all of your rambles or just your icon appearing on my notifs.

Also, how could I ever forget the artists and writers that make this community such a fun and colorful space? All the thanks and all the screams and rambles to all of you. Creating is so hard and yet you just come here and do such a wonderful job! How dare! I still think about your creations in my daily life, believe me ahcwgwxwhwcwfcw @ticklepinions, @intheticklecloset, @jettorii, @ssnicker-doodles, @giggly-squiggily, @simplysmilingdrew, @tiklart, @otomiyaa, @verynickelpizzarascal, @fbpanimations and much much more, tbh all the beans that I got shy to tag kjhgfdefghj

Hmmm, I think that this is what I wanted to say. To be honest, writing fics w tickling in it still feels comfortable and cool, so I will probably appear from one year or other to post something and vanish again ahfwtwxwowyq but yeah, can't really say that there will be much interaction besides that. I had that Big Post full of arts and fics that I love that I wanted to post before going but no energy dfghjhgf maybe one day I will finish it and post oh well

Anyway. One of the things that I always tried to bring here was that every creator should have at least one nice comment soooo if ! You think about me or this blog! Consider giving a comment or a quick rb to some artist/creator/blog that you really like, bet it will bring a smile to the bean's face! :D

Okay, okay, enough of rambling. It was incredible. Thank you! Hope you have a lovely week and don't forget to be kind, take care and drink water. Byee <3 <3

#See ya beans <3 #BIg hugs and spinning hugs all around #Kanene being Kanene #More than 3000 posts gosh that is crazyyy

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cosmic-kaden · 2 months

Text

No One Like You.

Ship: Ronnie x Kaden

Words: 1,590

cw: A little self loathing speak BUT DOESN'T GO INTO DETAIL! // COMFORT FIC COMFORT FIC!

Summary: Kaden is doubting if their mind is playing tricks again.

**As you know, I have been feeling down today as this morning I woke up from a really bad dream that had me in tears. I decided to write this for comfort and I honestly feel so much better. This was a great form of self care and self love for myself that I think I really needed.

If you're not a self-shipper please dni, nothing against ya, I have anxiety. lol // ok 2 rb

Kaden sighed heavily as they leaned against the register to Bobby's shop, they fiddled with buttons on the machine. They were feeling downhearted which made their company not as lively as it usually is. Today Bobby, Kaden's brother was working with them and he certainly noticed the change in Kaden.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Bobby asked cautiously. If they didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't going to pry….at least not too much.

"I 'unno" Kaden mumbled, their head resting in the palm of their hand.

"You seem really down… want to talk about it?"

"No," Kaden said sternly, shooting Bobby a small glare.

"Did you get into a fight with Ronnie or something? I don't think you two are the types to do that though" Bobby hummed softly and Kaden shook their head.

"No- I haven't talked to him at all today."

"Is that why you're down?"

"No."

Bobby let out a small sigh, he really wanted to help his sibling out but at the same time he really couldn't do much, he knew bugging would only piss them off and he didn't want that happening.

"Just feeling blah?" Bobby raised a brow to which Kaden sighed heavily. "I guess you can call it that. I didn't sleep well…" Kaden mumbled once more, standing up straight.

"Why not go home. Go rest, I'm in the shop today anyways, there's no use for both of us to stay here."

"I'd rather not be at home" Kaden sighed.

"Go. Rest. I'll fire you." Bobby teased which made Kaden crack a small smile.

"Fine-" Much to Kaden's dismay they really didn't want to go home, they were afraid to fall asleep.

The moment Kaden was out of sight Bobby decided to call Ronnie and give him the heads up that his dear partner seemed out of it of sorts to which Ronnie was quick to make his way over to Kaden's place after hanging up the phone with Bobby. If anyone could figure out what was eating Kaden up inside it was Ronnie.

Kaden got home and unlocked their door, kicking their shoes off inside and trailing to their couch. They plopped down sideways and stared ahead they felt terrible, not due to sickness but because of their own mind. They had a rather terrible dream that turned their stomach and kept them up all night afterwards, they were avoiding Ronnie today too which really sucked but their mind was playing tricks again and telling them things.

Kaden couldn't get lost in their thoughts for too long because they heard a knock on their door and judging by how the knock sounded, they knew who it was almost instantly. They groaned softly to themselves and slowly trailed towards the door. They gripped the knob and twisted, pulling the door open to see a very concerned-looking Ronnie at the door.

"Bobby called you didn't he?"

"Yeah, he told me you didn't look so good.."

"I'll kill him," Kaden mumbled the sighed softly. "Come on in…"

Ronnie was quick to see that Kaden wasn't themselves in the slightest. They were usually spastic and talkative, rambling about the most mundane things in the world but they were always excited about something but, today they looked like they just received the worst news in the whole world and Ronnie's heart ached at the sight.

Once he got in he didn't waste time, he pulled them into a hug, a hug that Kaden didn't return at first but eventually did. "Hey.. tell me what's wrong.." Ronnie mumbled softly, pulling away from the hug for a moment to better look at Kaden and Kaden wouldn't even look at him. His heart sank, did he do something wrong? Did he upset them somehow? His face held a worried expression when Kaden pulled away.

Kaden trailed into the living room and sat down on the couch, Ronnie soon following after them to take a seat beside them, his hand reaching out to gently take Kaden's he knew that when they were feeling down or sad they liked the physical contact to remind them that he was there and present. He interlocked their fingers and gently ran soothing circles into their hand with his thumb.

"……did I do something?" Ronnie asked softly.

Kaden inhaled deeply their breath stuttering for a moment, they hated this feeling, they felt like they wanted to cry and sadly, they felt the tears prick and sting the corners of their eyes which only worried Ronnie more but he waited for them to speak, he wouldn't rush them.

"Am I insufferable?" Kaden's voice cracked a little and Ronnie looked at them in shock. "Am I bothersome? Annoying? Am I awful?" Kaden stared forward as tears started to roll silently down their cheek as they spoke. "Am I ugly and unlovable?" Their throat felt dry and they were afraid to look at him.

Ronnie felt an overwhelming sense of concern and heartache course through him as he was quick to stand, pulling Kaden up with him, the motion was quick but just as soon as he stood he sat again this time, pulling Kaden to sit on his lap, his arms quickly wrapped around them and Kaden let out a small choked sob.

"Sweetheart, no. Who said these things about you?" Ronnie pulled them close and they felt Kaden grip his shirt a little tighter.

"Y-You did" Kaden sobbed softly. "I had a really bad dream last night… You said I was hard to love and that I was disgusting and unlovable…I couldn't go back to sleep my mind kept replaying it and it was trying to tell me it was true and--"

"Stop," Ronnie said suddenly as he brushed Kaden's bangs out of their face before he moved to wipe away their tears.

"Kaden, listen to me- That was just a nightmare, you know deep down I would never say those things. Never. You're the most important person in my life and I love you. I love you as easy as breathing air." Ronnie's eyes met Kaden's and his heart felt like it wanted to shatter simply from the state they were in but he was determined to let them know how much he cared.

"You're not annoying or insufferable. I love it when you ramble and go on tangents about even the smallest things, you make the mundane feel exciting and adventurous. You're not awful.." Ronnie leaned forwards and pressed a gentle kiss to Kaden's forehead before resting his own against theirs "You're the most kind-hearted person I've met and you always try to find the joy and laughter in life. You bring happiness to everyone you meet even if it's in the smallest way possible."

Kaden listened to his words but couldn't help but let out another sob, their eyes closing but they opened quickly after when they felt Ronnie's hand on their cheek, their wet green eyes searching his and Ronnie could feel Kaden trembling in his arms. He wanted nothing more than to soothe their aching heart and reassure them.

"You're far from disgusting too. You're very attractive to me, you have the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen, they remind me of emeralds or spring days- You have the sweetest smile I've ever laid my eyes on, it's infectious." Ronnie let his hand slip down over their neck gently as it continued its descent it landed over their chest right over their heart. "You have the kindest heart, it's full of passion, light, and love."

Kaden had stopped crying, and their attention was fully on Ronnie, they felt their heart sink, they didn't know he thought all of these things about them, and they never knew how positively he saw them.

"I love your arms.. they give the best hugs...your hands, fit so nicely into mine.." Ronnie gently grabbed their hand, bringing it to his lips to give their knuckles a soft kiss. "I love everything about you. You have both inner and outer beauty and no one can compare to you or how I feel about you and nothing will ever change how I feel whether it's from a person or from a nasty nightmare. Always remember that I love you with my entire heart and if I need to remind you every single day for the rest of my life I will...You are everything I ever hoped to find."

Kaden let out another choked sob but this time they were smiling and Ronnie couldn't help but return that same soft smile. Kaden finally reached out, wrapping their arms around him to pull him into a tight hug that Ronnie quickly returned, his hand running gently up and down Kaden's back. "I'm sorry…" Kaden whispered softly as they nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

"You don't have to apologize. I know things inside your head can get a little tricky sometimes but please remember Kaden, you can always talk to me, you know I will never judge you or think of you any differently. I might not have all the answers but I can help ease the pain."

Kaden pulled back enough to look at him, their hand coming up to caress his cheek. "How did I get so lucky?" Kaden spoke softly, they leaned forward and gently pressed their lips against his to which he returned the soft kiss, it was filled with love and sincerity.

"Thank you.." they mumbled against his lips. "I promise I won't forget ever again…I know you got me."

"Forever and always sweetheart."

tags: @ama-ships || @heatobrienswife || @dragonsmooch || @lysandreslittlechatot || @retrojem || @kylars-princess

#I needed this tbh. Sorry for another long fic :c #those who slay together stay together #ronnie 💞#This one like the others is going to get rb a LOT #cause this one really means something to me.

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georgegraphys · 1 month

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To be honest, I would not fully trust Ola Kallenius either despite his words backing George. Why? Because he's a part of this big multinational corporation and this multinational corporation is FAR from the word 'good'.

But what we're talking about is taking advantage of George being favorable in their eyes for now. Read that 'for now' again. To manipulate the long terms, you need to take advantage of what is happening in short terms first. You can't be thinking too far ahead, overthinking and speculating about things, and making rash decisions over some speculations. That'd be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can't play the short game when you're in a position like George. You have to play the long game.

If I were to be REAL honest here, I do want George to take Red Bull's offer back in 2021 because they're great, they're fast, they're amazing. But looking at the other aspects here, you wouldn't want him to be there. You should stop seeing things from just a two dimensional perspective. Moving teams solves nothing and i think we learnt enough from several drivers who made the wrong choice due to greed and being impatient.

In every part of an organization, there is something called homeowners. Just like Max's home is RB and Charles' home (might be) is Ferrari, George's home is Mercedes. And that is a solid thing for 2-3 upcoming years unless something happened. Why do i say so? Because these teams aren't the backmarkers where everyone is replaceable, they are the frontrunners with big brands behind them that not only values winning and racing but also values loyalty, brand image, and more. What they're also trying to find is someone who could be the face of the team for a long time not just 2-3 seasons and dip.

And let's take things real here. If Mercedes did NOT value George, they wouldn't pressure him to make a decision between choosing BMW or Mercedes very early in his formula series career. Why is it important? Because if George is not important to them, the moment George rejects Toto for Carlin Volkswagen is the moment they back out and move on. But they didn't. That is exhibit one.

Exhibit two is that in 2018, Mercedes is torn on who to give an F1 seat. Ocon or Russell? We all know the answer in 2019. Exhibit three, in 2020 when George's 2021 seat is threatened with Williams, Red Bull allegedly offered Mercedes to 'lend' George out to them for a year but Mercedes REFUSED because they do not want George outside of their institution even for a year (even if that 'lend out' move benefits Mercedes because from there Mercedes can see how George performs in better car). They'd rather George go jobless and drive in DTM for a year rather than lending him out to Red Bull. If Mercedes does not care about him, they would let him leave just like they let Ocon leave to go to Alpine.

And fourth, we have Kallenius basically on Toto's neck about how he wants George on that seat and not Max or Valtteri or whoever Toto wants. Then we also have Mercedes literally going feral on the mention of George going somewhere else (read: RBR). This happened on the same day as the British GP

My point here is if they do not give a shit, if they do not at the very least back George up, they would have let George go in 2021. And if you're saying "but that's 2021, Ari. We're talking about now", then look at his previous contract renewal. We're supposed to have George's silly season THIS YEAR because his original contract with Merc is supposed to end this year but we DIDN'T! Why? Because the contract is already renewed somewhere in December 2022 or Spring 2023! Again if they're planning to replace him, they would not make him sign a contract just for several months to his Merc career. And to add on top of that, George literally talks about how his contract is so EASILY signed and Mercedes and him were giggling over it like a married couple while LH and Mercedes (read: Kallenius) were in trenches, fighting endless war for a contract negotiation.

We cannot be 100% sure on the long run on who backs who even with Max in Red Bull. There is NOTHING certain in F1. Things change drastically. This is a very dynamic sport. But to manipulate the longer term, you need to take a hold of shorter terms first. If Kallenius, for now, sees George in a favorable place, that's good. But if in the future, he doesn't then it is what it is. It's business. You can't be idealistic about it. Moving teams is NEVER the solution unless you want George to make a decision blunder like other drivers who weren't patient enough.

It is painful but we have to play the long game.

#ari's rants #ari's rambles

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devilmaywrite · 2 years

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Omg, I've just seen the fluff alphabet and can I ask for A, C and V for Dante and Vergil. I think it may be funny see how different they are in that aspect.

Thank u!! ❤️

i actually don’t think they’d be too different when it comes down to it fjkdslfj dante’s part is inspired by a post @time-is-a-lake made a few days ago <3

rbs and feedback much appreciated

Dante:

A - Acceptance — How long did it take for them to accept that they were in love? What were they like after accepting it?

I think he’s fairly quick to realize it but he takes a very long time to truly accept it. He tries to push you away at first, not wanting to drag you into the mess that is his life. Not wanting to doom you to the same fate that seems to befall to everyone around him. His heart couldn’t take it if something happened to you so it’s incredibly difficult for him to open himself up to that again. He doesn’t want to get hurt again, nor does he want you to get hurt because of him. He’s also baffled by the fact that you want to be with him, want that life for yourself because of him. He tries to take it in stride once he actually accepts that he has feelings for you. But he stumbles. A lot. He’s never felt this way about anyone and his lack of self worth and anxiety poses many issues. But he’ll figure it out with time. Your patience is deeply appreciated and more than worth it. Dante will spend an eternity at your side if that’s what you wish.

C - Confession — How did their confession go? Was it planned or was it out of the blue?

He really tries to plan something out, how extravagant his plan is, is up to your preferences. He’ll plan to keep it more lowkey if you’re not into theatrics. Hell, he might just plan a whole fireworks show if you’re just as dramatic as he is. But I don’t think he’d end up actually going according to plan and it just slips out as casually as any of his quips do. Or perhaps, at night when you’re sleeping and he doesn’t think you can hear him. Less chance for rejection that way.

V - Vulnerable — What’s something their s/o does that makes them weak to their knees?

I don’t think this is actually all that difficult due to how little experience he has with romance, and people just being kind to him in general. Nor has he had much stability, so just knowing that he has something to come home to everyday has him pretty soft. Genuine worry about his wellbeing, listening to him talk about things he’s interested in, laughing at his jokes, complimenting him also mean a lot to him, more than he lets on. He’s also a sucker for anything physical as that is his love language. He’s a lovebug but initiating touch or seeking him out for comfort touches him as well.

Vergil:

A - Acceptance — How long did it take for them to accept that they were in love? What were they like after accepting it?

He’s more resistant to this than Dante is. Romance has never been something he’s really considered given how his life has gone so far. He’s only just now began to accept that human part of himself -- that part that allows him to have these feelings for you. He has a very long way to go on this journey and that part of him that’s terrified of others hurting him has not gone away, and likely won’t for some time. So he has a hard time accepting all of this -- accepting that you love him especially. But he so desperately wants to be loved, to have someone accept him for who and what he is, to have someone who doesn’t define him by his past. So to have that from you forces him to accept his feelings for you after some time. Like Dante, he stumbles a lot and it’s hard for him to adjust to but you’ll find that you have someone fiercely loyal and protective now at your side. Forever, if you’ll have him.

C - Confession — How did their confession go? Was it planned or was it out of the blue?

You’ll probably have to the one to confess first since there’s a small part of him that doubts your feelings for him. So it’s easier for him to verbalize his feelings after he hears it from you first. He’d like to plan it out but Vergil is impulsive -- despite popular belief, so it’s likely something that slips out against his will. He also likely has awkward or inappropriate timing, and he’s scared -- terrified, really. It’s not the most eloquent confession but it’s so incredibly sincere and touching; you can’t find it within yourself to complain.

V - Vulnerable — What’s something their s/o does that makes them weak to their knees?

I don’t think this is difficult to achieve with him either since he’s not been shown much kindness in his life. He’s been tortured for about half of it and never exactly surrounded himself with people who genuinely cared for him in his younger years. So genuine affection is nearly foreign to him and it catches him off guard. He’s also quiet and often withdrawn and with this comes a certain level of awkwardness. So he’s hesitant to really try and interact with much of the crew. So if you were to go out of your way to talk to him or try to include him, he’d seem uncomfortable and likely would be, but he appreciates it more than anything. Being kind to him and gently trying to get him out of his shell are great ways to earn his affection.

#time to fuck off for another 7 months <3 #i did have fun with this though fjkdls #devil may cry #dante x reader #vergil x reader

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sagesolsticewrites · 2 years

Text

Drawl | Austin Butler x reader

Austin needs some help getting back to himself after Elvis. Luckily, his best friend is here to help him out!

Request from Anonymous: Hi! Love your writing. I was wondering if I could get an Austin story. He said he had an identity crisis after wrapping Elvis, and you can still hear Elvis when he talks even now. I was wondering if you could write something cute about a childhood friend helping him find himself again and in the process he realizes how much she loves him and that he loves her too.

a/n: so sorry I haven’t posted much y’all! I’m in college and my summer class started last week so I’ve been a little busy, but I promise I’m working on requests! Hopefully this and Reunion Part Two tomorrow will be enough to hold you over while I get more writing done!

Word count: 2k

Warnings: a couple swear words, inaccuracies about California, I think that's it? As always, please let me know if I missed anything!

Hugest of shoutouts to @austin-butlers-gf for helping me with this 🤍

Please like/rb if you enjoyed! 🤍

“A grande latte, and could I get that with oatmilk please?” Austin drawls as he places his order directly after you. It had been about a month since his return from the Elvis press run and you were out for your regular coffee-and-catch-up session. It was fun seeing your childhood friend become a superstar, but it was nice to have a little time to yourselves now that he was back home.

Your mouth twitches up in an attempt to hide your laugh as he places his order, and he raises an eyebrow as you make your way over to a table.

“What?” he asks with a smile.

“Nothin’, Mr. Presley,” you tease as you slide into your usual spot by the window.

He groans, sounding genuinely upset as he slides into the seat across from you, “It happened again, didn’t it?”

Your teasing smile slowly morphs into a concerned frown as you see his reaction.

“Hey, I was just teasing—“

He shakes his head, “No, I know it’s just… I pretty much lived and breathed as Elvis for over two years, and I was hoping to just get back to being Austin once it was over, but,” he sighs, running his hand over his face, “it’s not as easy as I thought it’d be.”

“Aus, you devoted so much of yourself to that role— and it shows in your performance, obviously, you were incredible— but you’re not gonna be able to snap back to being Austin just like that.”

You grin as a plan starts forming in your head.

“Uh oh,” Austin jokes, “that smile’s never a good sign.”

“I have an idea for how we can…” you search for the right words, “speed up the process of getting you back to being you.”

“Oh?” he asks with an intrigued smile, “And what would that be? It’s not gonna be like that plan you had to sneak a cat into your room because your mom wouldn’t let you have one, is it? Because if I remember correctly, that didn’t exactly end well.”

“Excuse me, that plan would’ve gone perfectly if I’d been able to keep Mittens quiet for longer than two minutes,” you say with a mock-offended gasp. “Besides, this is much better than that one.” You smile, “We’re gonna do all the things we did as kids. Disneyland, Knott’s Berry Farm, going to that one spot in the woods that you forced me to go to all the time so I could listen to you read the Pulp Fiction script out loud which, by the way, was an amazingly inappropriate script to read—“

“Oh come on,” he interrupts, “It might’ve been inappropriate but that script was crucial to molding my acting skills. And look at where it got me.” he teases with a self-satisfied smile.

“There he is,” you grin, “I knew Austin was still in there somewhere. The plan’s working already!”

“Alright, let’s see how this goes then,” he says with a laugh.

The two of you plan for a Disneyland trip the next Sunday, and spend the day in your finest Disney apparel. You wander around taking pictures with all of the characters you can, making a point to get pictures with Rapunzel and Stitch.

“Come on, I’m a little old for this, don’t you think?” Austin says with an eyebrow raise as you lead him over to where Stitch is supposed to be waiting.

You give a mock-offended gasp, “How dare you! You’re never too old for Disney, Aus!”

He raises his hands in surrender, “I’m just saying!”

“Besides,” you continue to drag him along, “this is about getting back to yourself. What’s more Austin than Stitch? I remember you had that movie playing constantly when we were kids.”

He laughs, allowing you to drag him around for pictures, and eventually it turns into Austin dragging you around to go on some rides.

You freeze as he pulls you towards Space Mountain. “Aus, what are you doing?”

He turns back, “C’mon, Y/N, you’re not still scared of rollercoasters, are you?”

“No, I just… don’t feel like going on a ride right now,” you say, not even convincing yourself.

“Y/N… we really don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” he says, a concerned look on his face.

You shake yourself, “No, I’ll… I’ll be okay. I promise.” You give him a small smile.

“I’ll be right next to you the whole time, okay?” He smiles, squeezing your hand before pulling you along to get in line.

You decide that focusing on the far-too-fast ride is infinitely preferable to thinking about how your hand tingled when Austin squeezed it and how his concern for you made butterflies go haywire in your stomach, and how the toe-curlingly dizzy feeling you’re experiencing might not be from the ride, but from Austin holding your hand throughout it.

The next weekend you spent the day at Knott’s Berry Farm, running around all the rides you had gone on as kids— well, it was more Austin dragging you around to all the rides again. You still hated rollercoasters, but you knew this was what he needed so you pushed through, and the little hand squeeze he gave you as you got on, promising in a whisper that he’d be right next to you the whole time definitely didn’t hurt.

After Disneyland and Knott’s, you spent the next few days wandering around Anaheim reminiscing at all the places you had hung out together when you were kids. You tried to ignore the sparks you felt when your hands brushed as you walked beside him and the weird blushy feeling you got when you thought you caught him staring at you, and instead tried to pin all your focus on helping your friend. Who you definitely weren’t developing a crush on, nope, your feelings were totally platonic.

At least that’s what you told yourself until you got home that night and couldn’t stop thinking about him. After several hours of tossing and turning with his stupidly handsome face swirling around in your head, you decided to get up. You needed to do something besides lay there and think about his gorgeous blond waves, adorable freckles, charming smile, the adorable way he fidgeted with his hands or rings or the chain around his neck when he talked, or— you cut off that train of thought with a sigh. You stopped as you passed the mirror in your hall, staring into your reflection’s eyes. Maybe it was because it was 2am, maybe you were finally tired of denying it… whatever the reason, you looked at yourself in the mirror and accepted that over the course of the past couple weeks you had developed a giant crush on your best friend. No, not just a crush. You were completely and totally in love with him. Well, you thought with a sigh, this definitely won’t make things awkward.

Austin had decided that your “Austin Finds Himself” journey should come to an end by going to the clearing in the woods near his house where he had dragged you to help him prepare for auditions.

“This is where it all started,” he had explained “and it feels fitting that I should end this whole journey where I started it, with my best friend.” He had smiled, and it had taken all of your strength to keep your returning smile steady as your heart cracked a bit at the words “best friend”.

The two of you hike to the clearing, Austin laughing at your complaints the whole way there.

“My knees should not be making that sound!” you whine as you finally arrive in the clearing, making your way over to the bench where Austin had rehearsed for many an audition with you.

“We were like twelve the last time we came here, we’re old now!” he teases, plopping down next to you and drinking in his surroundings. You’re struck by how the sun hits him like a spotlight, his hair shining, blue eyes practically glowing, looking completely at home. After a moment of taking it all in, he turns to you with a sincere smile.

“I can’t thank you enough for helping me with this,” he gestures vaguely to the air around him, “whole thing, I… I really needed this.”

You force a smile, “Of course, you’re my best friend, Aus. I’m always gonna help you, no matter what.”

You’re so wrapped up in stamping down your own feelings, you don’t see how his smile falters when you confirm your current just-friends status. Lucky for you, he decides to speak up.

“Y/N, the past couple weeks have been absolutely amazing, I really can’t thank you enough. I missed getting to spend time with you, and this was honestly exactly what I needed after the past few years,” he says with a shy smile. “And I have something I wanna tell you. I know that if I don’t do it now, I probably never will, and I can’t sit around here wondering ‘what if’, so…” he trails off, taking a deep breath.

He grasps your hand and looks into your eyes. Your breath catches at how sincere he looks. “Y/N, I… I really like you. Really, really like you. You’re smart, funny, so incredibly talented, and so, so kind. Most people would’ve just told me it’ll take time to find myself again, but you… you came up with a plan, actively tried to help me. That means so, so much to me. You’ve been by my side for longer than I can remember, and I don’t know how it took me this long to realize it, but… I love you. I have for a while now.” He worries his lip between his teeth, and without waiting for a response, says hurriedly, “And I absolutely understand if you don’t feel the same, and I’m so, so sorry if I just ruined everything—“

You crash your lips into his, cutting off his apology. He freezes, and you fear for a moment that it was too much before he pulls you closer, deepening the kiss. Your arms wrap around his neck before he pulls away just an inch, looking into your eyes as his forehead rests against yours.

“Y/N…” his hand comes up to caress your cheek, his other resting comfortably against your hip, “ I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything,” you say softly, leaning into his hand, “can we just stay like this?”

“Of course we can,” he smiles, “you look absolutely beautiful right now. I could stare at you forever.”

He leans in ,his lips just barely brushing yours before he pulls away again, whispering, “Do you realize that all of my problems went away from that kiss?”

“Hush it, I needed this too.” you say with a playful grin, moving to tuck your head into the crook of his neck. “Austin?”

“Yes bubs?” he replies, using the old nickname the two of you came up with back in elementary school.

No turning back now. “Fuck it,” you mumble before finally looking up at him and saying “I’m in love with you, and I know that it’s such a cliché to say ‘I love you’s’ at the beginning of something new but damn it, I’m so in love with you Austin and I’m not ashamed to admit it.”

In lieu of a response, he pulls you in for another kiss, smiling against your lips.

The two of you spend most of the day there, and Austin walks you home afterward, the two of you hand-in-hand as you stroll through Anaheim.

“So, does this count as our first date?” you ask with a playful grin as you arrive at your apartment.

“I guess it does,” he says with a smile. “But I’d really like to take you out properly sometime, if that’s alright,” he says, fiddling with the rings on his fingers.

“I'd really like that,” you say, “we could go to that Italian place down the street?”

“That sounds good. Are you busy on Saturday?”

He grins as you shake your head, lifting your hand to press a kiss to the back of it, “It’s a date.”

You lean in to press one last kiss to his lips before you enter your apartment, giving him a small wave. “It’s a date.” you beam before closing the door, the happiness of the day crashing over you like a wave as you make your way to bed.

Taglist: @queenslandlover-93 @anangelwhodidntfall @yourselenite @austin-butlers-gf @luke-my-skywalker @kittenlittle24 @tubble-wubble @butlersluvbot @justjacesstuff @yourselenite @beauvibaby @sweetheartlizzie07

#austin butler #elvis (2022)#austin butler x reader #elvis 2022 #austin butler fic #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler fluff #austin butler imagine #elvis biopic #elvis baz luhrmann

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keijism · 2 years

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HAIKYUU + HOW THEY COMFORT !! [ pt.1 ]

- w. mentions of insecurity,

- a/n. so self indulgent, exams are having me on edge atm... so i wrote this to compensate. i’m in love with (one) kuroo tetsuro, goodnight. not proofread.

- incl. kuroo, atsumu, bokuto.

KUROO knows how it feels to never feel like you're enough. hell he's been there himself, multiple times. he knows how much it stings and digs into your heart... and he knows how fragile people are in that state. he's careful... as if he'd break you if he touched you too hard. he knows when to leave you alone, to let you regain yourself because he knows you can get through this. you're so strong. he finds it amazing how you can pick yourself up after a fall, it's one of the many things he admires about you. you work so hard and he knows you do. he'll wait for you. as long as it takes for you to get that light in your eyes back, those eyes that he fell in love with all those years ago. he'll sit with you through it all, a hand intertwined with yours, just to let you know he’s there. if you need him he'll ALWAYS be right there. waiting for you with his arms open and that stupid grin you, oh so loved on his face. he promises.

ATSUMU will always remind you that you’re beautiful, he knows that sometimes you don’t believe it, but he always will. he’ll say it every morning when you wake up and it’ll be the last thing he whispers before you sleep , if that’s what it takes to help you love yourself. he knows you compare yourself to other people. he sees that small grin on your face morph into a soft frown when you see all the beautiful people on your pinterest feed. he’ll say it louder, and louder because he means it every single time. you’re so beautiful, he wakes up everyday next to you and wonders how he got lucky enough to end up with you. every time you smile at him it’ll like he’s falling in love with you all over again. so every time you think you’re not good enough, he wants you to know. there’s no-one prettier than you in his whole world. you’re the only one he’ll ever have eyes for.

BOKUTO ‘s heart seems to break in two when he hears you cry. he starts to panic, what could’ve gone wrong? he knows you overwork yourself, you’ve always been like that. you expected nothing but the best from yourself.. but sometimes your idea of best is quite far-fetched, if he’s being honest. you want to reach higher than the stars, but that’s quite simply not possible. not for you, not anybody. bokuto’s love is loud. it’s loud, it’s big and it’s soft... just like him. he’ll come and wrap you up in his arms and hold you close, until your sniffles die down. he’s built to comfort, the warmth of his body and the soft skin of his cheek against your forehead is enough to lessen your sobs. he’ll stay with you till you’re okay again. until he coaxes that genuine smile out of you that he learnt to treasure so much.

likes + rbs are appreciated !

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myarlert · 2 years

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𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐩.𝟐

itto, diluc, childe & thoma x fem!reader.

cw: smut, oral [f. receiving.], fingering, tongue fucking,

self indulgent, not proofread, written in under an hour.

minors do not interact + rbs are appreciated!

𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐎

very messy, isn’t afraid of it. he isn’t scared to really get in there. his fingers stuffing inside, stretching you nicely, letting his nails gently trace over your inner thighs. he eats pussy for his pleasure.

his tongue is rough and how he presses it inside gently before pulling it out, replacing it with his fingers as he tongue fucks you to an orgasm within seconds. and he loves to throw in nasty little comments every now and then, ‘oh yeah? mm yeah i know i make you feel this good..’ or ‘mhm, scream louder, let them hear how good i fucking make you feel.’ but part of me also thinks itto would be nearly shy? if he was in a softer mood he would DEFINITELY want you to grab at his horns and have you use him, rub your dripping, sloppy cunt all over his face as you see fit.

𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐂

10/10 will tie his hair in a low bun before devouring you. and i mean.. DEVOUR YOU. diluc is a man of great taste, so why wouldn’t his favorite treat be your pretty cunt? he LOVES when he can hold down your thighs or when they’re tossed over his shoulders, his hands laying over the tops of them to keep them steady, though it’s hard to remain grounded when he’s sucking so hard at your clit. he loves when you start getting all blabbery and desperately begging for him to put at least one finger in, ‘how about the tip of my finger, hm? think you can cum from that alone?’ spoiler, you can. he would very much be into cute names, such as babydoll, princess, sweetheart, peach. hes not gonna stop til you’re dripping, covering the counters of the tavern long after it’s closed and his hair is in his face, strands sticking to his forehead from sweat and your slick.

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄

has no remorse for how rough he can get. he comes home stressed a majority of the time, n all he wants to do is drown everything out with your pussy. and i mean literally, he would physically pick you up and hold you down on his face. ‘shhh baby.. jus lemme..’ hed mumble against you, the vibrations feeling so nice :( would absolutely encourage you to bounce down against him, moaning as you do so, maybe even bringing a hand down to stroke himself while you’re grinding your leaky pussy against his face. ‘sit up baby, sit up, lay back.’ oh and how he would put you in the nastiest of positions while standing up beside the bed, bending down to start stuffing his fingers inside… he would just wanna take out every little bit of stress out on you, leaving your thighs trembling and clit aching for the rest of the night.

𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐀

IS SUCH A SWEETIE PIE PLS HE WOULD BE SO SHY — i need to stop yelling, he would be so shy at first, really asking you to how him where to touch, rub etc. he really wants to make you feel good and get it perfect :( he would memorize every little twitch and noise you make, drawing a mental map of where he touched to make sure to focus on it again later. especially when he pulls the hood of your clit back, just to lick so lightly at it, THATS HIS FAVORITE, because he loves your little squirms and spasms so much <3 ‘right there? does that feel good? oh i’m so glad..’ while getting another finger ready to stuff inside 🥺

tagging @okhotel @paradisdementor @soaringmirror @rowsn @strawberryerwin @chaotic-nick @sftbunnyy @atsumeii @bbyatsumu @p-antomime @pakulvr @s-sukuna

#my writing #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin thirst #genshin impact thirst #itto smut #itto thirst #arataki itto smut #arataki itto thirst #diluc thirst #diluc smut #diluc ragnavindr thirst #diluc ragnvindr smut #thoma smut #thoma thirst #childe thirst #childe smut

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theresawritesstuff · 1 year

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Does canon Midge love Lenny at all?

Depends on who you ask but personally I say yes, much more than she cares to admit, because it scares the hell out of her.

Looking at their interactions, the way she looks at him, especially from Miami onward, she's got it bad but doesn't know how to let herself accept what that would mean for them.

More thoughts including bits from season 5 under the cut.

So I think the biggest barrier in story for these two (meaning outside of ASP keeping RB in the dark for however long on things going romantic between the two and just general ASP being ASP...) is that Midge has been deeply deeply hurt in love and is afraid of opening herself up to that again. She's a perfectionist and has a very specific image of herself she likes to project to the world. And Lenny is one of the only people who actually sees her unfiltered self, outside of Susie. And in some ways understands her better than Susie because they're both artists of the same craft with a similar drive to speak their truths.

His opinion matters to her. He's been a champion for her success time and time again. And she let him down.

Midge isn't comfortable with being in the wrong and getting called out for it for that matter. It doesn't happen that often and for it to come from him really rattled her cage. Because he knows her. And knows she can be better.

I think the whole bit at the airport in 5x01 with her shutting him down about calling was ultimately her guarding against letting herself get hurt and trying to let him off the hook.

They hadn't committed themselves to each other or made any long-standing promises. They've always been ships in the night their entire friendship. So he didn't "owe it to her" to call (she's telling herself). And he's leaving and doesn't know when/if he'll be back. So for her to acknowledge that it meant something to both of them, that she might have wanted him to call, only opens herself up for heartache. I think what makes it even more heartbreaking is this interaction shows her he's listened to her, taken note about what she wants from a man and wants from him (got himself a lease, talking to her about his kid, etc) and he's done the work. He's willing to because she's worth it to him. But now she can't have him.

The way she tells him she's not going to blow it (not going to let him down and break his heart) on the verge of tears as they say goodbye... That's not just a friend. She knows what they missed out on because she messed up.

So yes. She loves him. She just isn't willing to take the risk of letting herself entertain the idea that they could be happy together.

#Maisel thoughts #Midgelenny #midge x lenny

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five-thousand-loaves-of-bread · 1 year

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complain about autistic tiktok hour again

(okay to rb just note i get very angry in this)

love seeing a tiktok by late diagnosed person saying “don’t compare late dx & early dx experiences” and “don’t come on my video talking about late dx experiences & tell me it would be so much harder for early dx people”

which like without context, yeah! late dx ppl early dx people have different experiences with their dx! and don’t derail other people venting about their own experience with your own! without context this critique sounds very warranted!

BUT. adding back in context which the late dx person make their video in…. you realize how much conversation shift.

the late dx person literally say “it would have been better if we had known earlier”—if they diagnosed earlier. and go on to say how much better it would be. so now you see how the “hey early dx people have it fucking hard too” is genuinely fucking reasonable, a much needed reminder.

“if you are early dx, it means that your autism was affecting other people to the point they need support dealing with you, and you may or may not have your support needs actually met, but us late dx people had to internalize our autism and not have support blah blah” AKA a subtle way of saying “but i have it worse” directly after saying “don’t compare experiences.”

it’s so fucking clear that some late dx, high masking (& lower support needs & level 1 autistic) have no fucking idea what autism spectrum actually means, because they think all early dx people are is someone who look exactly like them, who experience their autism the exact same way as them, who disabled by their autism the exact same way as them (maybe even with more privilege for example white & male)—but essentially exactly the same but only difference is just happens to be early diagnosed.

sure, some early dx people may be like that. but i guarantee you many many early dx people are not. fucking. like. that.

the reason why i say some late dx ppl think early dx ppl are exact same as them just diagnosed different times is because the rhetoric of you only early dx because your autism “affect other people to the point they need support dealing with you…” fucking consider. some people are early diagnosed because they fucking have speech delay, because they don’t talk until much later, or because they are still fucking nonspeaking as a teenager as adult maybe probably whole life. because they aren’t potty trained pass typical age. because they so disregulated they have daily violent meltdowns they harm self harm others. because they elope run into traffic. sure, these actions affect others, but consider: they affect the autistic person too. intensely. severely. have you considered that some autistic people need more support for themselves?? in “dealing” with themselves????? have you ever fucking experienced not being able to communicate any fucking want desire (yes, maybe even nonverbally!) and no one understand you (even if they try their best! which many don’t!!), how fucking frustrated they may be? because THAT is the reality of many life long nonspeakers who didn’t get access to communication through AAC later in life adolescence or adulthood.

have you ever fucking considered that people have different experiences because people are fucking marginalized to different degree and some people may be more marginalized than you??

you snarkily add the “may or may not” to “early dx people may or may not get their support needs met because severely affect other people blah blah” but we all know your tone and context means you actually mean to imply early dx people get more support while ALL late dx people don’t get any support. which is so fucking blatantly ignorant and false. who gets disproportionately dumped to neglectful abusive ableist group homes because their family either can’t or don’t want to deal with them, abusive conservatorship that strips you from all basic autonomy, who gets disproportionately restrained, sent to seclusion, institutionalized, heavily drugged, murdered by their family, given bleach to “cure autism,” etc? have you fucking looked at the autism industry the ABA industry in early 2000s 1990s or earlier, when many early dx people who are now adolescents or adults are born?

some late dx say “don’t compare struggles! don’t trauma olympics!” to any early dx person or higher support person yet imply or directly state “but i have it worse than you uwu” it’s fucking hypocritical. like please get off your ass and reflect on your own trauma and privilege.

(emphasizing on the some on some late dx people)

saying this as a not-early-diagnosed person (due to birth country etc unrelated reasons)

i’m so fucking angry i hate you

#note: group homes and conservatorship can be very helpful if done correctly. am only criticizing the abusive ones #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #early diagnosis #late diagnosis #high support needs #mid support needs #low support needs #nd #asd #loaf screm #anger tw #caps tw #swearing tw

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myimaginarywonderland · 10 months

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RedBull and their driver history (An essay by me)

RedBull has been in the sport since 2005 and I should mention that especially in the late 2000s/early 2010s they had a huge pole of talent in their academy. There was bound to be someone left heartbroken. However I think it’s worth talking about the damage the junior academy has cost to many drivers mental and also physical health. The team definitely isn’t good in the sense that they treated their juniors, the ones discussed below especially.

Christian Klien was one of the first drivers for the RedBull team. Just after his first two races he was replaced by Vitantonio Luizzi for 4 races before being put back into his seat again. RedBull didn’t want to lose Luizzi for them apparently while also not knowing which of the two they wanted to race for them. Then in 2006 he had his contract terminated before the end of the season. He refused an offer for an Indy drive because he felt he didn’t finish his F1 career. That was basically it for his RedBull stint.

Vitantonio Luizzi officially got a full season in 2006 with Torro Rosso but well, that was uneventful before he ultimately got dropped after 2007. Part of this was probably Seb performing with just 3 races. Luizzi has also critised RB for seemingly being unclear of the criteria with which they choose drivers, saying they dropped the drivers which brought results. This is understandable as he was the better teammate against Speed.

Scott Speed was Vitantonio’s teammate who in the later half would be replaced by none other than Sebastian Vettel. Now, I will say that Scott Speed himself has admitted he behaved horribly during that time and seems genuinely self-reflective. This horrible time escalated terribly in 2007 when it was even claimed to escalate physically between him and Tost which has been disproven by Scott. He still raced with RB after F1 where he later went to fill a lawsuit against them, a completely different story altogether. There was a lot going on behind the scenes and both he and RedBull seemed unhappy with each other. During his time in F1 he seemed to clash with both Berger and Tost, the former calling him “one of the stupidest drivers” he ever saw and accusing him of having no talent.

Sebastian Buemi is kind of a great driver where you ask what if. He drove in a time where Seb was in his glorious prime meaning there was almost all ressources focused on him. Buemi at that time had pretty average F1 results but was basically dropped because he wasn’t performing as expected. What needs to be noted is that continuously since his start scored points. It was first in 2011 that he was behind a teammate. Funnily enough that was also his last season eventhough it was the first one he did “bad” in. He was then strung along for a few seasons as reserve before he would join FE. Looking at his impressive career now it truly makes you think that he was just another victim of the RedBull family that just never got a chance. He was there when Seb was achieving miracles which meant there was never a potential for a RB seat and his Torro Rosso years were the most he would ever achieve.

Jaime Alguersuari is actually the first true victim for me but in comparison to others he actually had a chance. He openly talked about how he still has dreams/nightmares about his Torro Rosso time, how he was traumatized. He went to therapy and talks about how much Marko still haunts him to this day. He was also apparently notified that RedBull couldn’t help him anymore but didn’t really ever get a follow up to that and just had to connect the dots. While he seemingly retracted these statements I think people like to dismiss this way too much. I do not think he would ever bash a team like this if those things weren’t genuine struggles.

Antonio Felix da Costa is one of the most prominent from this RedBull curse. In 2012 (he was a reserve driver at the time for them I believe) he was notified by Marko after his Macau win that they would be great together. Franz Tost called Antonio also multiple times, told him that he was going to be his driver for 2013. Then he got a dreaded call, saying the seat was no longer his but Daniil Kvyats. During this entire time he gets along great with Seb. So good even that when Seb went to Ferrari he wanted Antonio to support him in the simulator. Helmut did not let this happen. That marked the end of that relationship.

Beitske Visser is maybe not a big example but you know, she was let go after a bad season in ADAC Masters. Not a great season but you know she still was better than her teammates at the end and it just makes you wonder why they let her go after basically one season in a bad car.

Jean Eric Vergne

Oh JEV. This is a long one, so buckle up.

There is a lot of resentment. Just in 2018 he went against them when they went back to get Brendon and stated that this door was firmly closed and he was focused on FE.

It all started when JEV became a Torro Rosso driver in 2012 when he went up against none other than Daniel Ricciardo who he outscored with more DNFs eventhough Daniel had better qualys. In 2013 they both were teammates again but this time Daniel outscored JEV who had more DNFs though. Even though JEV beat Daniel in his rookie season and points wise really wasn’t far off , it was Daniel that got called up to RedBull and he was replaced by none other than Daniil. The russian had less than half of JEVs point but still JEV was the one who was ultimately kicked from the team. Why? Because they needed a space for the underage Verstappen (I say this seeing as he legally should have never been allowed in F1 that early but everyone ignored it.) JEV himself questioned what would happen should Seb leave which Marko didn’t believe to be true. When it turned out true well, instead of renouncing the decision to fire him, JEV, who was having a better season, got kicked and the seat was promised to Kvyat. Franz Tost then wanted to keep JEV as an experienced mentor for May but RedBull were set on their rockie line up with Max/Carlos. Later Marko also went on to say how they just had better talents than Vergne and how he had his years. This stings because not only did JEV risk his mental health but also his physical one just to get a chance at a team that never considered him. What is interesting for me is also that there was never any seeming acknowledgement from RB to his hospitalization. You only find articles where it’s mentionedbut even those are more rare than you would expect considering he probably was there for at least a month during the off-season break.

I think what makes this is worse that looking at JEV’s juniors career already shows his great talent. Just before F1 he drove only 4 races in GP3 where he nearly scored as much as people who were there the whole season. JEV also himself has suspected that with his questioning of Seb’s possible departure he ultimately offended Marko’s ego who then in turn of course would not promote him.

So, bad yeah but what makes JEV so prominent?

Well, the reason why he was able to beat or challenge Daniel was because he starved himself. He was losing time which was due to his weight and he starved himself until he needed to get hospitalized in 2014. He attempted a diet until his body refused to work with him in this case. This was also a weeks-long hospitalization. He talks about how hard it was to fight Daniil because he had to gain weight again, causing him to be overweight and lose time. He also mentioned how he felt like a robot just doing and acting as he was told. He openly talks about this being the lowest point of his career. He dealt with a lot of frustration after this and you can openly see that during his first FE races he couldn’t care less even though he already showed his great talent then.

This hurts me especially because JEV is one of my favorite drivers. And an incredible person for frankly transforming into the champion he is now after what happened to him.

Alex Lynn is not really a victim as much as he proves the golden boy theory in a way. He was up against Max and Carlos for a seat and he knew he didn’t have a chance so he left. Really as simple as that. He was just another driver who got lost to the bigger talents and well nepo babies. I don’t think you can class him as a victim the way you can the others but I still wanted to show him as prove of the sadly “protege” concept that especially nowadays makes it nearly impossible for drivers to get a shot at F1.

Daniil Kvyat

This is going to be another long one.

In 2015 after a year where he was outperformed in Torro Rosso he and Ricciardo both went to the RB team. And while Ricciardo had more podiums , Kvyat ultimately just got a few more points than him.

And while Daniel would perform more consistently in 2016 at first it would be Daniil who got them their first podium but was ultimately dropped after just the next race to go to the sister team TR. In the end, this decision just shows that if they could they should have just put Verstappen in that RB from the start because this was clearly their end goal. The decision looked especially bad when you consider that Daniil seemed to get the hang of the car and had just given them a podium before a bad race. Of course this would be overshadowed by Max's win and the incredible season he went on to have. Meanwhile Daniil was stuck with DNFs and bad results. I should mention that his notorious driving was already present and criticized before his swap. It definitely was one of the main reasons why even though he really didn’t perform badly if you look at points, he obviously wasn’t the first choice. Although I think his driving really only became the bad driving (“Torpedo”) that we know today after the swap and well, you can’t really blame him for sort of being a bit mad after literally getting kicked just after securing the first podium. He himself says they were struggling as a team at that time and feels like RB didn’t appreciate his contributions enough.

I also once again want to point at the fucking asshole that is Helmut Marko and the 0 idea of what his actual role is other than talking shit about pretty much all drivers and looking completly unprofessional. Why you might ask? Because Marko in 2018 for example underline how he thought that Daniil would have overcome his “mental problem” which a. ) does not concern anyone if he truly did struggle, b.) is literally just helping create problems and c.) completely ignoring the huge factor that is the entire seat change that undoubtedly would have caused potential problems. I am trying to keep these short but I truly think Daniil had a doomed seat from the start and was set up to fail.

Pierre Gasly

I should state this by making a personal bias obvious. I don’t like Gasly myself and don’t rate him very highly on the current grid. I am certain that will influence my opinion just like my adoration for JEV did so there’s that. There is also the fact that Pierre eventhough the midseason change clearly affected him seems truly grateful for the opportunity that was given to him from RedBull. With the obvious high placing in his rookie season (a topic for another day) and Ricciardo leaving and Max being the seat No.1 , Pierre was the obvious choice to replace him. And then the second RedBull seat curse apparently hit. His results were fine really if he would have driven for maybe a midfield team or a sort of top/midfield team but for RedBull who were in a fight with the Mercedes via Max and wanted someone to keep the Ferrari duo of Charles/Seb behind, it obviously wasn’t enough. Really anything besides the top 6 was a failure for them. And midseason especially with Alex Albon performing better than him on occasion in a worse car, the decision was really easy.

It was not fair especially because I truly think that his rookie season isn’t truly looked at in a realistic way but rather just the points he got which made him overhyped. I also think he wasn’t a first choice but with Ricciardo leaving and no other midfield driver available the most logical was Pierre.

I do not think we will ever know the full picture of this until Pierre retires and I would say the same for Alex so I am just going to say that the midseason drop was cruel and undeserved but much nicer than other drivers have been treated by ReBull.

Alex Albon

Alex stepped in to fill the role Pierre couldn’t perfectly. He basically was in the top 6 his entire time for 2019 except 1 race. I also think Alex RedBull stint is underrated especially with Racing Point and McLaren oftentimes able to challenge for the top 4. Hell even the Renault was sometimes close enough.

Still the fact that wasn’t in the top 5 at the end of the season was definitely what cost him his seat. In comparison to Pierre for example he did actually get a full season and I truly think yhat while Alex was under immense public pressure and is absolutely right to leave RedBull and never look back, there isn’t enough to talk about his case. In fact it was clearly stated that he was dropped because the results weren’t consistent enough in comparison to other drivers who oftentimes got called much worse. I also think RedBull valued him more than people give them credit for.

I am of the belief that there was behind the scenes stuff that made Alex especially sure in his decision to leave but we won’t know that because he will not talk about that until he leaves the sport. There again were stupid comments by Marko but then again, when are there not?

Yuki Tsunoda

This is going to surprise people but I think Yuki after Kvyat has by far got the worst treatment in recent years. While he wasn’t hyped when coming into the sport and has made mistakes, Yuki has continuously shown flashes of speed and great driving. The racist treatment he got from Marko is horrendous and deserves a far bigger call out. The implication is that he is mentally deranged, his attitude is a problem, he isn’t a typical japanese driver etc. These racist implications and also degrading comments are just further proof of the treatment that is the junior programm drivers. This is only the things that were said in public mind you and I can’t imagine how much worse it was behind closed doors. I truly hope Yuki is able to leave the team besides the treatment he will receive especially after this week will just be so much worse than what Pierre was experiencing or possibly even Alex especially should he beat Ricciardo.

But while I have shown you all the horrible treatment of certain drivers, I feel it is also my duty to show you guys how incredible those mistreated drivers actually are. How successful yhey are and how they have shown great potential and proven that they aren’t some failed driver but that they were mistreated and are now flourishing in environments that support them and series that give them opportunities.

Christian Klien sadly disappeared from the racing world after 2010 (basically) but he managed to place third in the 2008 Le-Mans race.

Scott Speed actually managed a second place finish in the Miami E-Prix (before he was found guilty of doing drugs but that’s another story.)

Sebastian Buemi is Formula E champion (in the 2016 season/second season) after being runner up in the first season. He is also the winner of 2014, 2018 and 2022 WEC season (one he won with Fernando) and came second in the 2017 and 2019 season. In 2013 he finished second at Le-Mans 3 times (2013, 2021 and 2023) before he won it 4 times (2018-2020 and 2022).

Antonio Felix da Costa is Formula E champion and also won a race in DTM + got podiums there.

Beitske Visser was runner up for two W-Series and has also participated in Le Mans.

Jean-Eric Vergne/JEV is the only driver to have won the FE championship two times and has just this season achieved third place on the 6-hour-race in Monza. I need to state here that JEV is arguably one of the greatest FE drivers.

Alex Lynn managed multiple podiums in FE and finished third at the 24-h-Le-Mans race this year. He also won at Sebring two times (2017/2022)

Some other successful drivers that didn’t make it but were RedBull junior/academy drivers (and in one case also drove for RedBull) also include people like Sergio Sette Camera, Neel Jani, Sebastian Bourdaia and others.

So what was the point of my post? While RedBull are definitely horrendous to former drivers and many come out traumatized in one way or another, that does not take away from their talent or their accomplishments and they deserve to be known as more than former RedBull/Alpha Tauri drivers. They often built themselves an entire career after they have been shattered and their ultimate dream (F1) taken from them and that is incredibly admirable.

#f1 #anti redbull #anti rbr #to be safe I guess

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afterthefeast · 7 months

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re lrb in any case to me astarion’s arc is less about regaining agency than becoming aware that he already has it and has to act like that. there's a distinction between agency as a material fact, ie having the ability in theory to make your own decisions and act on your desires, and the awareness of having that agency.

i'm no psychologist, but in my experience one of the most helpful steps in recovering from mental illness has been the awareness of my own agency ─ yes, sometimes I feel as though my life is completely run by my intrusive thoughts, but invariably getting out of that place has involved a recognition that ultimately, I am the one in control of my thoughts and I have the agency to work through them. that doesn't mean that it isn't hard, or time-consuming, and sometimes I don't succeed in the way I'd like, but nonetheless the ability to at least try is and always has been in my power.

in baldur's gate 3, your companions appear with varying degrees of agency (aside, obviously, from the tadpole they all share). they range from gale, whose current situation physically and magically restricts him but who at that moment in time doesn't have many other immediate restrictions on his day-to-day actions, to wyll, whose every move is watched by his abusive warlck patron.

nonetheless, your companions benefit from being shown that they not only could have agency at some point in the future, if they break their pact/shar's curse/free cazador/free orpheus/fix the infernal engine/get the crown of karsus, but they have agency now and must therefore use it responsibly. wyll is already to some degree aware of this, i think, even if it's only because he is so morally forthright ─ he's one of your companions who remains actively trapped by their abuser during the game, yet he refuses to kill karlach because he knows that would be wrong. even within his severely limited circumstances, he makes a choice, he demonstrates agency. in the shadowfell, shadowheart ─ a cult victim subjected to extreme psychological and religious abuse ─ has the choice whether or not to kill aylin, and can make it either way.

astarion, at the point at which you meet him, has just been given freedom for the first time in, essentially, his life. it's no surprise that he doesn't know what to do with thise newfound agency, and doesn't recognise it for what it is, given that he literally cannot remember ever having control over his own life. that's deeply tragic, but it doesn't erase the fact that he has control over the things he does during the game. those actions (for example, given i am still talking about that last rb, talking about the children he kidnapped and gave to cazador as though they were nothing), are things he has agency over and is responsible for. nonetheless, he acts as though he does not, lurching from one attempt to gain power to another (killing the druids to suggesting you use whatever's in moonrise to your advantage), because his own self-perception as someone completely powerless is so overwhelming. he must accrue power because that is the only way he can make sure he's safe and can never be hurt again. it's just that that self-perception is not completely accurate, he does have agency; if he makes choices that result in moral wrongs, those moral wrongs are his to bear.

i'm not getting at astarion here, I don't mean to imply that he's at fault for this attitude. it is, obviously, the natural response to 200 years of enslavement and abuse. kind of the whole point of the game, of all of your companions' quests, is that if people are hurt and abused often they will feel as though their only avenue towards power is to do the same to others. but being severely traumatised doesn't make his behaviour okay; he doesn't get a free pass to do whatever he wants because of cazador. you can like him, literally who am i to say otherwise (i like him too!), but don't just excuse everything he does or get rid of the most interesting parts of his character because you're unwilling to grapple with the fact that as it stands in the game, he's morally incredibly complex.

i think there's a tendency to assume that a character either must or must not have agency, and to present it as a binary, because for some reason it's used as a shorthand for moral culpability, when in reality the relationship between agency and culpability is significantly more complicated. i haven't really been getting into coerced choices here because that's a whole other kettle of fish (though i will give the necessary disclaimer that my stance on this is quite clearly influenced by the fact that deep down i'm a bit of a virtue ethicist). nonetheless, while this is my pop philosophy take and i'm not trying to impose this overall moral framework on people, i think it's pretty reasonable to say that lack of agency does not mean that what you did was not wrong.

implying that astarion is at fault here would be indicative of the very attitude I am trying to oppose ─ the idea that people either have agency or don't, and if they do bad things with agency they are evil, but if they don't have agency they are victims. astarion is both ─ he is the victim of horrendous, harrowing trauma and yet he has done bad things and in fact visited that same trauma upon other people. there's no escaping this, and i think it would be bad for astarion to just brush everything he did for cazador under the rug because he did it for cazador. he still did those things ─ he might not be culpable, i do not think he can be considered as such, but there's no way you go through all of that and don't feel guilty for it.

notably, if shadowheart kills aylin and wyll kills karlach (if he can? i actually don't even know if he can do that, but hypothetically), they are still responsible for that action and it was still morally wrong. they have to deal with that: part of dealing with it can be to recognise the coercion they were subject to, but the fact that they lacked agency doesn't just erase the wrong or mean it was never wrong in the first place. likewise, astarion becoming the ascended vampire is still obviously a terrible thing to happen for him and everyone else, and is in no way justified just because it might finally give him the sense of safety and control he craves. the whole point of that moment is that even when he is being retraumatised, when he has returned to the place and person that hurt him, astarion has the capacity to choose, and to choose the right thing. acting as though his trauma means he has absolutely no agency whatsoever and so never has to address the fact that he can, at various points, greatly fuck up, just removes one of the biggest themes of his whole character.

tldr: astarion has agency, one of his greatest challenges is realising that he does and that he must use it responsibly, and acting as though that is not the case does a disservice to his character and the story it is trying to tell. also it is deeply deeply boring. the end.

#bg3 #i logged into tumblr on my laptop to type this out instead of learning how to use a pivot table #hence the abrupt change in capitalising I #i keep going on about this because it's a general attitude towards trauma and mental illness that drives me completely up the wall #yes life is hard yeah you gotta take steps to make that better #yeah thats tricky. sorry. gotta be done though #anyway i could literally talk about this all day like. gale or lae'zel and agency is a WHOLE thing and i could rant about those two for day #but this is getting too long as it is #also obligatory disclaimer that this is in no way a commentary on anyone's gameplay #im not trying to do a 'omg if u ascend astarion you're a terrible horrible person forever' or anything #i think it's great and fun that you can do that and explore his character that way #this is directed at people who just try to make him like uwu traumatised little baby who has never had any agency ever #in his whole entire life #and so cannot be morally responsible for any action he has ever taken

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