#scarlet lady essay

[nobodyfamousposts]

Scarlet Lady Essay: Frightningale

Yet another essay for @zoe-oneesama. Because you deserve it.

I’m not going to bother with a compare/contrast of canon vs Scarlet Lady Frightningale because Frightningale in canon was a pretty forgettable episode. Akuma was lame. Setup was wasted. And it’s removal from the series would lose nothing of value.

So instead, I'm going to focus primarily on the Scarlet Lady version of Frightningale and what it does that makes it memorable.

I guess to start with, I should make it clear that I’m not a fan of shows being lazy, especially when they display a lack of planning or consideration of their story and characters. And perhaps one of the greater indicators of this issue is when a series suddenly realizes they they neglected multiple plot points until it’s too late to give them all the focus they warrant so they end up shoving all of those points into one episode and try to present it like it’s supposed to be an adequate resolution of all that buildup or in any way intentional.

Penalteam was that episode for Miraculous. They had the “temporary heroes” setup going for them but then wasted so much time on filler like Frightningale that it seems like they honestly forgot about it until they were reaching a designated end point and they realized they still had four more heroes they were supposed to introduce. Whoops? Ah well, just introduce them all at once. Not like anyone will care!

And when you treat most of the cast like they’re all as shallow as a puddle, I guess that’s true.

The thing is, when you have a setup where there is a running theme of every person in a specific group getting their own episode/chapter to detail their issues and how they get a power up, it’s going to stand out whenever one of them doesn’t. Especially when that one or more are forced to share their limelight episode. 

That’s not to say you can’t do it, but it’s bound to get attention if you do. It reflects poorly on the writing. It shows whom the “favored” and “unfavored” characters are. And it displays the issue with pacing—namely that it’s next to nonexistent until it hits you with the force of a freight train.

But can it be done and be done well? Is it possible to pull off such a thing and have it make sense and fit in lines with the characters?

Well, yes. Off the top of my head, I can think of two different ways to do it to make it work.

And Zoe did both of them.

If you look at Scarlet Lady as a whole, you’ll see a conglomeration of characters—each with stories and arcs attached. They have personalities. They have goals and problems and their own highs and lows. One sign of good writing is that some focus is given to highlight these other characters as people. Individuals in their own right with lives outside of the main characters or situation.

Miraculous doesn't really do this.

Scarlet Lady, however, does. Because contrary to the title, Scarlet Lady isn’t just about Chloe.

It isn’t even just about the heroes.

It isn’t just about Chloe being horrible. Or Marinette being in love. Or Adrien being in desperate need of a hug and a nap. Because while the story is centered around them, it isn’t solely about them. Other characters get focus and growth and their own arcs throughout the comics.

But the big two—the BIGGEST two with arguably the most depth and most growth and quite frankly the best storylines out of everyone in the entire series?

It’s Sabrina and Lila. And their individual stories have led up to this.

As such, this episode—which was mostly filler and all around forgettable in canon, matters here.

It’s where Sabrina and Lila reach the culmination of their respective character arcs. 

Yes, it’s when they both get to become Miraculous Heroes and meet their own kwamis, but it’s more than just that! They both hang out with the girls group as full members of the crew, getting to take part in a music video together. It’s also where they both get to stand up for themselves and the city at large while calling out Chloe and Scarlet Lady. This is what their storylines have been building up to and where their growth really shows.

Sabrina started out as Chloe’s minion same as canon—albeit with more attention to her feelings and her responses, no matter how seemingly small, allowing her to feel more like her own person. And through this focus, we got to see her open up more, pull and eventually break away from Chloe and her influence, and over time stand up for herself and try to establish herself both with the class and as an individual.

Lila started off as a liar and manipulator, selfish and self centered, much like canon. Unlike canon, her lies are tied to her issues, noted to be poorly thought through, and give her more introspection as a person. After the lies are revealed, she’s not “redeemed” so much as she is “accountable”, and it doesn’t change who she is. She remains selfish and certainly far from being considered “good”, but she’s letting people in past her walls and masks in a way she hadn’t been able to before.

Both of these things? Figuring out who you are and letting people know you for who you are? They’re incredibly hard. And a lot of time was devoted to both of their journeys along the course of the comic.

Sabrina’s arc was about her figuring out who she is on her own. Outside of Chloe and her previous role of being a follower and lackey. And sometimes it feels less scary to stay with someone toxic than to be alone and facing the unknown. We see it in the way she tries to put herself out there afterwards, reaching out and risking rejection and just figuring herself out. Even or perhaps especially with those she already knows and has a less than positive history with.

And we still see the struggle of her view of herself in this episode. It was in the way she was upset that she legitimately tried to help and it still resulted in bad things happening. And it was also clear when she calls herself a “sidekick” to Marigold after the day was saved, as if it’s a role she still sees herself as and one she struggles not to fall in to. Over time, we’re seeing Sabrina learning that she doesn’t have to be attached or subservient to someone else to have an identity or be accepted. 

Lila’s arc involved her figuring out who she is with people. Outside of the lies and manipulations she creates, the masks she wears, and the identities she crafts to make people like her. The “real Lila” is far from the best person and arguably not even a good person, but she also doesn’t have to be for the others to accept her as the still somewhat bad influence she is. She’s still very much selfish and flawed, but she’s less inclined to hide it or treat it like something that needs to be hidden. And isn’t that a common lesson? That it’s better to be liked for who you are than to force yourself to be someone else to be liked?

And at the same time, even with being less than a fully good person, she’s showing that she can still find better ways of acting that allow her to help others rather than hurt them or serve herself. She still hates Scar, but rather than working with Hawk Moth to kill her and risk dooming Paris and the world, she’s instead working with Alya through more legitimate (and legal) means…and hitting Scar where it hurts most. She and Adrien may not be friends, but rather than try to punish him for not going along with her, she’s instead rescued him, putting herself on the line—something that the former Lila wouldn’t have considered doing and one that canon Lila wouldn’t be capable of. Even if she’s motivated by pettiness or self-interest, what would have been straight up revenge on someone who upset her has grown to be something that is working in everyone’s better interests.

Both Lila and Sabrina hid themselves in different ways and for different reasons. So having them both assert themselves and call out both Chloe and Scarlet Lady is a show of their growth and overall a huge deal. It’s not something either of them would have done at the start of the series. Sabrina, because she was a “yes man” who wouldn’t dare to argue with Chloe and Lila because she wouldn’t risk openly doing something to make herself a target. 

And now boom! Look at them both! Lila stepped up to openly and publicly denounce Scarlet Lady as not being a hero for real reasons that aren’t just about herself or her feelings—complete with receipts! The girl did her research, noting incidents from before she even came into the picture. Then follow up with Sabrina standing up against Chloe’s machinations and dismantling Chloe’s main source of power: her father. Even better, she’s using logic and knowledge she would have as a former ally of Chloe’s who would know her tricks, taking her former friendship with Chloe and using it against her.

And on top of that, each of them are given the Miraculous by the person they wronged in the past. Marinette to Sabrina and Adrien to Lila. Especially in Lila’s case, it says a lot that they’re trusted. That shows narratively that even with their mistakes and bad choices and continued struggles, they still can move forward—not necessarily to find redemption, but to find themselves and be their best selves.

This is why it makes sense for them to share this episode. It’s also why both of them speaking up matters. They are both publicly confronting their greatest foe, and the fact that their foes are really two faces of the same person further highlights this. 

So they both have issues with the same person, are dealing with forming their identities without catering to others, are working out how to have/be friends, were formerly not the best of people, and have a fear of rejection. As such, this isn’t just their obligatory hero episode, this is what their individual stories have been leading up to. Almost like they’re two sides of the same coin. And the comparison between the two helps them both shine.

And speaking of shining, does anyone remember how the all girls team up didn’t get a chance to shine in canon? Zoe sure did.

I have a whole list of problems I have regarding Party Crasher, but perhaps number seven on that list is that the boys got to have an all male temp hero team up episode while the girls didn’t.

In fact, by this episode in canon, only Alya, Chloe, and Kagami actually got to be temp heroes.

To be fair, only four of the guys out of seven in canon got to be part of their particular event in Party Crasher, leaving out Ivan (who often tends to get overlooked) and Nathaniel (who has had a precedent of just literally disappearing from the episode). But originally, part of the appeal of Party Crasher was that the focus was supposed to be on the male classmates and getting to see at least some of them being part of a team against the akuma.

Why then didn’t we get an episode like this with the girls? Or at least something LIKE this?

Frightningale became that episode. And if any of the episodes were to do it, it makes the most sense for Frightningale to be the one.

All of the girls were together to take part in this event. So Zag would have had the perfect excuse to include them all in the fight or just have the girls do something to help even as civilians. I mean, we’ve had episodes do this before. Max in Robustus. Nathaniel and Alix in Reverser. Luka in Captain Hardrock. Let the civilians show their heroic traits even before they become heroes. It’s not a Miraculous, but it’s still giving them focus and expanding on them as individuals.

Instead, canon Frightningale was a filler episode. And not even a good one. For an akuma who forces people to sing or dance, it’s a waste that they just had the heroes spend the whole time rhyming. A waste of writing and talent. I mean, have you heard Christina Vee sing? If there needed to be a musical episode, I would think that the akuma who forces people to sing would certainly warrant it! At least more than it’s Christmas and they sing just cuz.

So this is yet another thing that Zoe improves with the Scarlet Lady version of this episode. Giving us the all girl team up episode so many of us have long wanted and getting to see all the female heroes together at last. 

And with this, we get the full roster of friends-turned heroes.

Except for Alix. Poor, poor Alix.  ;_;

Your day will come.

In this way, the end where Clara goes a different direction with her music video feels less like a half-assed fix to a half-forgotten plot point and more like something that was built by everyone involved. I don’t know about the rest of you, but given Clara’s excitement over the all girl band playing and Pigella’s gift showing Clara an idea for her video, it highlights the focus on EVERYONE being part of this—both the video and the episode itself. It kind of comes off as a lesson of its own about teamwork and giving everyone a shot rather than focusing specifically only on one or two specific individuals.

And isn’t that what separates the heroes from Scarlet Lady?

But there’s a third important aspect of this episode.

This is the episode where Chloe is smacked in the face with Scarlet Lady’s falling popularity. 

Let’s remember that at the start of the comic, Scarlet Lady was fully and widely considered THE Hero of Paris. She was beloved for doing nothing and it was a point of frustration for Chat, who actually was having to pick up her slack. Initially, there was nothing he could do because him being the only real hero among the duo meant he often couldn't stick around after akuma fights to prevent Scar from telling "our story". In addition, he didn’t know who she was or who chose her and why. Then even when it was clear her getting the Earrings was a mistake, for a lot of the first couple seasons, she was so popular that they couldn’t just take the Earrings away from her lest they risk backlash from the rest of the city. It’s a backlash that seems increasingly unlikely as more and more people get to see her behavior and callousness firsthand.

We’ve seen hints of it in other episodes, but none of them were so blatant to Chloe that she couldn’t ignore it or shrug it off or otherwise make excuses to protect her ego.

Prime Queen wanted to focus on Marigold and Chat Noir for their “romance” to try and boost ratings. Alya and Lila made some snarky comments, but Chloe could easily dismiss them both. Nadja also made a comment that nobody cared about Scarlet’s love life, but a lack of interest in her love life isn’t a lack of interest in herself and Chloe despises both of her “sidekicks” and wouldn’t want anyone trying to pair her with them anyway. And Nadja reassures her that they’ll focus on her after they’re done with Chat and Marigold. So yes, she can dismiss that as well.

Reverser has Chloe faced with both of her identities are made as villains in art and a story. However, she clearly looks down on Nathaniel and Marc barely registers to her. So she can dismiss them.

Look at Despair Bear, the Intermission, the interactions with the various other heroes, and the fact that only Chat Noir and Marigold are privy to the Guardian’s secret existence and allowed to pass out other Miraculous. Much has been shown of the other characters being less than impressed with her, snarky towards her, or showing the process of how they discover the truth about her and how she actually handles akuma attacks…namely in that she doesn’t. And Chloe can dismiss all of that because to her, none of them really matter to her.

But Chloe can’t dismiss the fact that a renown celebrity dedicating a music video to the “Heroes of Paris” isn’t including her. Bad enough her sidekicks are taking center stage but she’s not even in the music video at all?

And when someone she despises calls out the reasons why she’s not a hero in an openly public setting surrounded by a multitude of people who all agree with her? You could say it’s insult to injury. But some would say it was a long time coming.

Some Rando: Scarlet Lady sucks! Alya: Marigold and Chat Noir do all the work, not her! Kagami: She’s barely even necessary at this point. Clara: This video and song are to celebrate hope and love. And Scarlet Lady lacks both when push comes to shove. Chloe: ARGHHH! WHATEVER!

It further shows the turning tide of public opinion against Scar. What was once a trickle has grown into a wave, and now Chloe is forced to acknowledge her image and status aren’t as ironclad as she thought. Sure, she could denounce Lila as a liar like she’s done before, but Lila is bringing up instances that Chloe can’t deny: being late (as she’s just plain been a no show to several fights), endangering civilians, and being caught live on camera being willing to let someone die in a particularly horrible way because it’s easier.

This is the episode where it’s not just people seeing Scar is horrible, but acting on it and letting Chloe know they know she’s horrible. It’s reached the point where Chloe can’t just disregard the claims or discount and ignore her critics. And we’re seeing Chloe starting to lose control as a result. To the point she has to force her dad to ruin a previously sanctioned event in what has to be one of his most flagrant displays of abuse of power to date just to shut down her detractors.

And even that would come with more consequences for Chloe if it had been allowed to continue. Sabrina herself points it out that Clara is very popular with a lot of fans—people who would be aware she’s making a music video and whom would be very disappointed if word got out that it was cancelled due to an issue with the Mayor. And given all the very unhappy people we see in the comic in question where she points that out, it stands to reason that the word would get out. Heck, I’d be surprised if someone wasn’t recording it.

Then there’s the love square/hero shenanigans.

Remember how in canon, the whole “playing themselves/risking identities” bit kinda just dropped out halfway in? The kwamis were the only authority figures involved to call out on the risk and of the two, Plagg didn’t care and Tikki gave one knowing stare at Marinette before turning around to gush about the suit. Even though Marinette offers the alternative idea to the music video by the end, there’s no further comment or notice of how she and Adrien nearly blew their identities….or alternatively a comedic take where nobody recognizes them regardless and they worried for nothing. Honestly, I would have taken either setup.

Having Fu present to call them both out shows there is a responsible authority figure watching, makes it clear there are rules they are expected to follow, and reinforces that this was, in fact, a horrible idea. Sure, Marinette and Adrien worried enough to hide their masks, but it should have been obvious that wouldn’t work long term. They are risking their identities, not just to Paris but to each other. And he calls them out for doing it on purpose.

Then there’s the beautiful crescendo of the love square dance in that the two both pretty much have figured out the other’s identity and just want an identity reveal to make it official—which Fu won’t allow. We see it in their playful banter that gets mistaken for “getting into character” and in Adrien in particular pushing Marinette to take part.

This is a point where we are seeing them be teenagers. Foolish of them? Yes. Should they have known better and not done it? Yes. But is it in character and the sort of teenage shenanigans we would expect of teenage superheroes? Definitely. And that’s part of the point. Because they are teenagers. Teenagers in love, no less. Teenagers in love with secret identities to dance around. Which is half the fun of secret identities!

It’s just another aspect to this episode that makes it enjoyable.

So overall, the episode matters in ways that the canon version didn’t and was fun in ways that the canon version wasn’t, making it stand out not just as an episode or a remake of the canon episode, but as its own standalone episode AND a noteworthy point in the overall story.

#scarlet lady au #scarlet lady essay #scarlet lady is better than canon #for zoe

[volo-omnia]

Pokemon Legends Arceus is about Home and what it means to create a Home, change my mind (a mini essay)

Main series titles in the Pokemon series tend to follow themes and explorations of them. With mythology and tradition from Gold/Silver, our relationship to nature in Ruby/Sapphire, truth vs ideals in Black and White, and even the reoccurring themes of treasure and past vs future in Scarlet and Violet.

While PLA is a new departure from most series titles, it still explores a bunch of themes that are central to its story. While the land of ancient Hisui is partial to old traditions, divine gods, and the endless wild, several characters in the game have a recurring theme surrounding on the idea of "Home". This could be how "home" is defined, how one creates a home, and what it means to lose one.

One of the foremost examples of this is you, the player. While we know nothing of the player character outside of what is shown in the intro sequence and possible dialogue choices, the prompt of PLA is obvious. You were taken from your home by Arceus to be dropped into Hisui. Whatever life you had before, you will never come back to. And upon waking up on the beach that Laventon finds you, you have little to no memory, no money, no pokemon, and no where to go.

You have no home.

Now for the player character while it can be interpreted or headcanon a variety of possibilities, (such as the player character being the same player character from D/P/Pt) because it's a player character and meant to be a blank slate, we essentially don't know anything about the hero canonically outside of this. For all intents and purposes the hero has no home to begin with. But there is one thing we know. By the end of the game when you finally meet and defeat Arceus, he doesn't send us back home. We remain in Hisui. Once again, we cannot return to the home we came to. Hisui is our forever home now, but the choice is ours whether we accept or reject it.

This theme occurs a lot with the other characters of the game, to which we will be going through them.

One of the first characters in this game that also hits with this theme is Commander Kamado. Throughout the game it is specifically described as to how his character game to be. His home in Kanto was destroyed by wild pokemon, to which he and the other villagers had to immigrate to Hisui. Upon landing at Prelude Beach, they build Jubilife Village, a haven with large protective gates and guards always on patrol, ensuring security. It's their home, and Kamado repeatedly tells you throughout the game how he's determined to build a home for the village and himself. Even when the skies turn blood red and he banishes you into the wilds, he's determined to fight tooth and nail to protect his home.

This is one of the more obvious examples. Kamado has no home to return to. But in doing so with perseverance, he creates a new one. Even though Hisui is quite different from his old home in Kanto, he does settle with creating a new home, one that is safe, prospering, and peaceful. But when his home is threatened, he does not go back down to protect it.

A home is something you build.

Another similar example of this is the dynamic of Adaman and Irida. Their clans too migrated from other lands to Hisui, eventually settling on the land and living with the local pokemon. From their eyes, a home is something you must share and work together with. Even though they both warred over their patron gods, both the young clan leaders are determined to create a home that is peaceful and without bloodshed between them. However since this is the age of religious folks, insulting one's household deity is also akin to insulting one's home.

To some, a god is a home.

Later in the game we also encounter Lady Cogita. She like most, has no home. While Hisui is the land she has lived in for many years, her original home is long lost to time. As one of the Celestica, all of her people and culture have long disappeared, her god gone, and her old home now reduced to ruins scattered across the land. While she does reside in the Ancient Retreat, was it ever truly her home? That given her long life, does she ever miss the home she once had, and still vividly remembers? Is a home a home if you have no one to share it with? Does she ever feel homesick for her god that no longer answers her? She is a character with many mysteries to her, but you can't help but wonder what burdens could be going through her mind. The deities of time and space may have created the land, but is it the same as creating a home?

And most of all we cannot forget Volo. Your rival, nemesis, and literary foil. Unlike the others, he has no home, but has no home to return to either. Like Cogita, he too has lost all of his Celestica roots. However unlike Cogita, it's unknown whether he actually knows what their home was like before. Since we don't know canonically if Volo was alive at the same time as Cogita, we can assume he came long after the ruin of the Celestica, as he regularly questions her on the myths and traditions of a culture he isn't familiar with. He is a character that was born without a home, and tries desperately to pick up its pieces by ancient stories and writings on ruin walls. He also desperately yearns for his household god, as Arceus has long disappeared in the eyes of the world along with the Celestica.

Volo, as a character, is defined by his homesickness.

However unlike the hero, Volo refuses to accept Hisui as his home. As we all know at the end of the game when Volo reveals his true colors, he mentions that he wishes to subjugate Arceus to create a new world. In a desperate attempt to create a home he can finally accept, his wish is to create one with the powers of his god, and have pain and suffering be long-forgotten concepts. What makes Volo the villain in this scenario however, is that in order to complete this goal, it will destroy the homes of everyone else. In a grand act of selfishness, Volo is willing to destroy the homes of others in order to create his own. A home is something he is willing to destroy.

Overall throughout the game, the theme of what makes a "home" is repeated. Whether it be characters losing their home, characters trying to build a home, or characters trying to simply find a home. And as you play the game, the world around the hero changes. As humans and pokemon start to work together, their lives and homes start to become intertwined, creating a new life for everyone around them.

All lives touch other lives to create something anew and alive. That is a home.

#pokemon legends arceus #pla #pokemon dppt #volo #adaman #irida #cogita #kamado #legends arceus #text #this idea came to me in a vision (the shower) #and i had to write this all down right now or else i'll. explode

[zoe-oneesama]

So what are your thoughts (and salt) on your research re-watch on Queen Wasp?

This episode is annoying because it tries to play both sides - it is very much NOT a redemption arc episode but at the same time tries to make you feel sorry for Chloe after she fucks shit up, which has tricked some into believing this actually WAS part of Chloe's redemption arc.

As @hypexion laid out in a full essay, there never was a Chloe redemption arc because Chloe never thought she did anything wrong and never thought she had to change. In "Queen Wasp", she refuses to return the Miraculous on the grounds "finders keepers, losers weepers", deliberately causes a crisis in order to try and FAIL to save the day just to show off, and when confronted with her deeds only has this to say:

See, I didn't pull Scarlet Lady's complete disregard for human life out of my ass, it was canon all along! 😈

"Who cares"?! "Who CARES"?! Putting aside that "WE" did not save them, Ladybug and Chat Noir saved them from YOU, I'm pretty sure the people's who's LIVES you endangered "cares"!

Thing is, if you just watch this episode and put the entire idea of "redemption" or "hero Chloe" out of your mind, this is 3/4ths of a good episode. Pretty fun, actually, with Chloe just...being Chloe. And getting to hit Chloe in the face with a trash can ❤️.

So what's with all the audience emotional manipulation at the end?

Why is Chat Noir making soft face and using soft voice at Chloe at the end, commiserating that she STOLE a Miraculous (because once she decided not to return it when asked, yes, that's theft at that point), crashed a train, and ran away from the consequences just to ImPrEsS hEr MoThEr? Guess that makes it alright then, right Adrien? 🙃

(If it was just meant to be an Adrien Character Moment, they would've had Ladybug counter him by point out that her motivation doesn't make what she did okay, but instead they have Ladybug ALSO commiserate with Chloe)

As a character beat, I get that Adrien is channeling his daddy issues through Chloe's mommy issues, but I mean for the audience: why are they having Ladybug admit to "making mistakes" and Chat Noir comfort Chloe when SHE MESSED UP THIS BADLY except to manipulate the viewer into feeling sorry for her?! Her mother didn't ASK her to do any of those things, she did them all on her own, so why are the heroes giving her a pass, ie. why are the writers wanting the audience to give Chloe a pass???

No pass! She sucked! And she deserved her classmates ripping on her in "Malediktator", but then the story had the balls to try and make the audience feel bad for Chloe for that too!

Speaking of that, it's really weird that they ended "Queen Wasp" with Ladybug being so soft on Chloe at the end, only for Marinette to turn around at the beginning of "Malediktator" and go back to being really annoyed with her. Especially after she went out of her way to reconcile things between Chloe and Audrey.

Even the way they did it - equating Ladybug accidentally dropping the Miraculous in the middle of the battle and then relying on the Miraculous Cure to return the Miraculous to Fu, (something she'd have no reason to believe shouldn't happen), to Chloe deliberately causing a disaster in order to fail to impress her mom and refusing to return the Miraculous that she Was Not Given? Those are not the same! An honest error that Ladybug fully intended to rectify vs. Chloe disregarding other's safety and the right and wrong of keeping something that never belonged to her are not on equal footing.

Oh and then there's this gem:

Giving back an item that never belonged to you to the rightful owner isn't "exceptional", it's basic human decency. Good Lord Chloe is not "exceptional" for finally adhering to the code of conduct the rest of us learned in Kindergarden.

All this pushing the viewer to feel some type of way and it's all for nothing. Feeling sorry for Chloe just leads Ladybug to giving her another chance in "Malediktator", giving Chloe entitlement to the Bee Miraculous, facing the issues of the enemy knowing her identity in "Miraculer", having to flat out retract Chloe's access to the Bee Miraculous which Chloe responds to with a full on tantrum in "Miracle Queen", leading to Fu giving Guardianship over to Ladybug.

Woooow, real glad we were told over and over again by the narrative to go easy on Chloe, sHe JuSt NeEdS a GoOd InFluEnCe and a SeCoNd ChAnce. That sure ended well for everyone.

Also this is just me being a nitpicky asshole, but if Chloe didn't out herself right in front of everyone (ie. GABRIEL), the Hawkmoth era of the series would've been over. After Style Queen failed, Gabriel had completely given up since his "Masterpiece" failed. If Chloe hadn't revealed herself, Gabriel wouldn't have been inspired to akumatize a Miraculous Holder and might've gone into retirement long enough to return the Miraculous in secret or reveal Emilie to the public in search of other methods before he could've been "inspired" by something else.

The villain defeated by lack of motivation, lmao.

(Also also obviously this could've been doubly avoided by Ladybug not losing the Bee Miraculous or taking the Bee Miraculous out in the first place, but we could've had Anti-Hero Bee Chloe with an actual secret identity paired with a new antagonist to go into a new era of Miraculous, so I would've considered that a win)

MY main gripe with the three Chloe centric episodes "Style Queen", "Queen Wasp", and "Malediktator" is all the pointless, blatant audience manipulation. They went so far out their way to make the audience side with Chloe against Ladybug and feel bad for her only to turn around and call us stupid for doing so. I want my time back and I never even believed in the Redemption Arc. I can't imagine how much worse it was for someone who actually believed what they were selling.

And obviously it was terrible for the thing that brought Chloe and Audrey together is how they're horrible people who torment the working class, but maybe we should've taken that as a sign as to where this was going. Way to immediately resolve Chloe's mommy issues as soon as they were brought up.

Wait...is that why they made the problem in "Malediktator" Chloe's usefulness?

#damn these episodes and their buzzwords! #'exceptional' 'useless' #try 'menace to society' and defend that! #queen wasp salt #chloe salt #writing salt #adrien salt #just a pinch just a sprinkle #my opinion #just to save myself I am writing Audrey with like 5% of a heart

[laiqualaurelote]

First Lines

Tagged by @nostalgicatsea (forever ago but I'm only getting to my tags now). Thank you!

Rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 (or however many you have) posted fics and see if there’s a pattern!

speak easy, swing hard

When the shots rang out in the Arc, the band didn’t stop playing. It was twelve minutes into the new year at a Stark speakeasy and the joint was jumping, the floor crammed with gin baby socialites essaying the Charleston, mobsters clustered around tables, petty thieves circling and dipping into the pockets of the unwary; when the bullets started flying the crowd screamed and sought to scatter but the bandleader barely blinked, just led his crew full tilt into another chorus of ‘I Wish I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate’ while the singer, a svelte Sokovian songbird in a shimmering scarlet number, sidestepped a bullet that buried itself in a piano leg and kept right on crooning, All the boys in the neighbourhood know she can shimmy and it’s understood, while all hell broke loose on the dance floor.

well-versed in etiquette, extraordinarily nice

“You must know, Mr Crowley, that this is to be my last job,” said Jane.

all the men and women merely players

In with the wind blows the news that the Players are coming to town. 

constant as a northern star (constantly in the dark) 

Sachiko Crimm meets Ted Lasso for the first time in a Lidl.

The Lady With The Recorder Asks The Questions

“You took out the line about the threesomes, didn’t you?” 

ain't practical, a world you can't touch

Just a whole lot of aiming, he’d told Cornelia once. But it’s Martha Myers who misses.

maybe everything that dies someday comes back

“He don’t look like much,” said the client. “You sure he’s the chap we’re after?”

a song that will keep sky open in my mind

We knew Eli was back because of the baby. We could hear it crying clean across the wheat fields. 

can't start a fire without a spark 

It was a whole thing when Eddie Munson and Chrissy Cunningham blew town together and ran off to start a rock band.

A Gentleman's Guide To Love And Piracy

Day seven of my return to the high seas, wrote Stede in his journal. Since Lucius was no longer around to take dictation, the journal existed only in his head. Morale is low, I will not lie.

Patterns - I'm a big fan of in media res (it worked for Homer and it works for me) and so I like to start in the middle of things. I'm also trained to write hooks for people with short attention spans, so my first lines tend to be crunchy. The one exception is the first on the list, which is from speak easy, swing hard, the 1920s Prohibition-era Avengers AU I wrote for @nostalgicatsea as part of @marveltrumpshate. I wanted it to evoke the wild, chaotic tempo of a hot jazz number (something like the intro to this) so most of it is a pile-up of a long run-on sentence, and the writing continues in this fashion until Tony shows up to calm things down, whereupon the paragraphs go back to being a brief couple of lines each. I learnt this trick from seeing how translators handle action sequences in wuxia novels.

Tagging: @leupagus, @themardia, @auntieclimactic, @nagia-pronounced-neijia, @eisoj5, @swallowtailed, @justplainsalty, @bropunzeling, @st-clements-steps, @sagiow and anyone else who'd like to do this!

#procrasktination #ted lasso #miss fisher's murder mysteries #mfmm #the english #tag game #stranger things #marvel cinematic universe #the avengers #good omens #jane austen #ofmd #our flag means death spoilers

[hjparisian]

maroon- harry j potter x reader

loosely based on a lyric from maroon by taylor swift. uses she/her pronouns. reader is not a gryffindor (i know, im sorry fellow gryffindors). bit of a long one whoopsies

"the burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was maroon"

It was common knowledge that every time the Gryffindors win a quidditch game, it is follow by a raging party, courtesy of the Weasley twins. Everyone is allowed to come (aside from the Slytherins, but they still manage to sneak their way in).

Despite being friends (and study buddies) with Hermione, (Y/N) never really experience a full on rager in the Gryffindor common room, instead perusing the library for books to help with some essay in potions, until one day.

"Come on (Y/N), just come, just this once," Hermione said. "I can't always be with Ron and Harry. Plus you've never been, after all this time of being my friend."

"I don't know Hermione, I wanted to study for History of Magic. You know how much I struggle in it"

"I know, but you can do it tomorrow! Please, it would be nice to not constantly listen to Ron and Harry talk about the quidditch game for once and to hang out with you outside of the library," Hermione begged.

(Y/N) remained silent for a second. Thinking. It would be nice to hang loose and let the thought of school leave her mind. And Hermione is right, she can always study tomorrow, especially since she already completed her work.

"Alright Hermione, I'll go," she said at last. Hermione let out a grin. "Oh thank you, thank you!" Hermione said. "I gotta go, but I'll see you there (Y/N)."

Towards the evening, (Y/N) stopped in front of the Gryffindor common room. "Password?" the Fat Lady asked.

"Baubles." The portrait swung open and (Y/N) stepped inside, seeing the shift from the silent corridor to the loud and wild atmosphere of the common room. There was people from all different houses having a good time, from people chilling on the couch with firewhiskey on hand to those dance to the beat of the music and letting loose.

(Y/N) quickly finds Hermione on a couch towards the back of the room. "You made it! Thank goodness I thought you were gonna ditch," said Hermione. "Anything for my favorite Gryffindor."

Ron joins in with three red cups, handing two to Hermione and (Y/N). The two stared at the cups, not knowing what it was. Ron answers them, "It's not poison, it's butterbeer mixed with firewhiskey. Fred made them." "Are you sure we should trust anything made by Fred or George?" (Y/N) jokingly says while taking a sip of the drink. "Maybe you're right, but I'll take my chances tonight," Ron said before downing his cup.

(Y/N) spotted some of her house friends waving her over to come dance. She turns to Hermione, asking if she wanted to come dance with her to which she replied "It's alright, I think I'll just stay here with Ron." (Y/N) nods, not willing to force Hermione to join (also letting her have alone time with Ron), and walks towards the crowd of dancing wizards.

One of (Y/N)'s friends takes her hand and starts dancing with her, the two of them laughing at their awkward attempts of dancing. After a while, (Y/N) decides to get another drink to fill her system. She walks up to where Fred was handling the drinks. "Hey Fred, can you give me something good?" Fred chuckled. "First Gryffindor party I've seen you at and you already want to get wasted. But of course, anything for you." He hands you a cup filled firewhiskey. "Thanks Freddie, you're the best."

As (Y/N) turns around with the drink in her hand, she bumps into someone, spilling both her drink and the person's drink on her. She felt her face heating up and looked up ready to yell at the person until she noticed a certain green eyed boy who appear red in the face from embaressment. Who would've thought she would've bumped into Harry?

"I'm- I'm so sorry (Y/N), I didn't mean to bump into you. I should've been looking, I-" (Y/N) cuts him off. "It's fine Harry, I know you didn't mean to. But now my shirt is wet." She was a little upset at the fact she spilled her drink and was wet but she knew Harry wouldn't do that on purpose.

"I can let you borrow one of my sweaters," Harry said. "It's the least I could do after drenching you in butterbeer." (Y/N) thought about it for a second before agreeing, wanting to get out of her soaked shirt. "Alright, since you owe me. Now lead the way."

As Harry led (Y/N) to his dorm, she couldn't help but stare at him. She'd be lying if she said she didn't think he was attractive, cause he certainly was. She always loved how bright and green his eyes looked. And the way he looked when playing quidditch was a wonderful sight. She had a minor crush on him back in second year but since she never acted on it, the feelings went away, though the butterflies in her stomach right now are saying otherwise. Or maybe it was the alcohol. Yeah, let's say it's the alcohol.

Her thoughts are disrupted when they stopped at a door, a plaque on it saying who occupies it, "Seamus Finnegan, Neville Longbottom, Harry Potter, Dean Thomas, Ron Weasley." Harry opens the door and walks inside, holding it open for (Y/N). She takes her time looking at the room, it looked much different compared to her dorm. In that time she took to gawk at the room, Harry managed to pull a sweater from his trunk.

It was one of his quidditch sweaters. "Here, I hope you don't mind red and yellow." (Y/N) takes it and looks at it. "Thank you Harry but, um-" She starts. "Do you mind turning around for a minute? So I can change." She swore she could see Harry's face start flushing as he spoke, "Oh, uh, er yeah." He turns around giving (Y/N) some sort of privacy while she changes.

"You know, I didn't think you'd be at this party," Harry says. "I've been kinda hoping to see you." (Y/N) freezes for a second. Harry's been wanting to see her? It must be her mind playing tricks. She responds, "Hermione sort of made me. I wasn't really planning on it." She hears Harry hums in response. She continues, "I don't really regret it though. It was kind of nice to have some fun. Saw some of my housemates here."

There was a brief silence between the two before Harry spoke again. "I've always wanted to talk to you (Y/N). Hermione talks about you a lot, did you know that?" She did? (Y/N) wondered. "She talks about how wonderful you are and how you get her. She was happy to find someone that actually read Hogwarts: A History." (Y/N) chuckles a bit. Classic Hermione.

(Y/N) fixes Harry's sweater on her body and clears her throat before speaking, "Well, um, you can turn around now." She watches Harry turn around and sees his eye go wide slightly.

"How do I look?" She asks him. "Brilliant," He breathes out. "You always look brilliant." (Y/N) could feel her face heat up at his words. How is it that Harry could make her feel like this with just a few words?

(Y/N) decides to bite the bullet. If there was anytime to take a chance it would be now. "Can I ask you something?" He nods. "Can I kiss you?" She was scared for his answer. If he rejects her, she hopes that the firewhiskey in her system would let her forget about that moment in the morning. Harry finally answers. "Yes."

They both lean forward, letting their lips touch each other. (Y/N) felt Harry gently grab her waist, she lets her hands hold his shoulders. It felt like dream. Now, if you told second year (Y/N) that she would be kissing Harry Potter in the future, she'd laugh in your face saying it would never happen. Well, take that younger (Y/N).

They parted each others lips, needing air. They took the time to admire each other, how wonderful they looked. "You know, I've always thought you were attractive Harry," (Y/N) said. "And I've admired how you'd do anything for your friends. You're an amazing and courageous person. I like that about you. And I like you Harry."

Harry grinned. "I like you too (Y/N). I've always have." He leans forward to give (Y/N) another brief kiss.

"Can we just stay here? I'm too tired to go back to the party." (Y/N) asked. Harry nods, agreeing with her, also wanting to enjoy this time with her. They lay on Harry's bed, Harry holding her close to him. He kisses her forehead before falling asleep with her.

#harry potter #harry james potter #harry potter x reader #harry james potter x reader #hjp #harry #harry potter x fem!reader

[tenderbittersweet]

Happiness is a Full Bookshelf 😊📚

My goal is to collect every Penguin Classic that has a black spine and cover, white title, and orange author name because they’re sooo aesthetically pleasing to me. My fun challenge of collecting/amassing them is by finding them exclusively through secondhand purchases (resale shops, ebay, garage sales, used bookstores, etc.) Then I only have to shell out $0-$7 each instead of $10-$30 each!

Penguin Classics

A Doll's House and Other Plays by Henrick Ibsen

A Nietzsche Reader by Fredrich Nietzsche

A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Dolye

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

Agnes Grey by Anne Brontë

All My Sons by Arthur Miller

Angel of Repose by Wallace Stegner

Awakening and Selected Stories by Kate Chopin**

BUtterfield 8 by John O'Hara

Caleb Williams by William Godwin

Call of the Wild, White Fang, and Other Stories by Jack London*

Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer*

Charlotte Temple and Lucy Temple by Susanna Rowson

Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons

Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels

Complete Stories by Dorothy Parker

Confessions by Saint Augustine

Conjure Tales and Stories of the Color Line by Charles W. Chestnut

Consolation of Philosophy by Ancius Boethius

Crucible by Arthur Miller

Daisy Miller by Henry James

Effi Briest by Theodor Fontane

Essays and Aphorisms by Arthur Schopenhauer

Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton

Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin

Excellent Women by Barbara Pym

Framley Parsonage by Anthony Trollope

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley**

Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck**

Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift

Hard Times by Charles Dickens

Hedda Gabler and Other Plays by Henrik Ibsen

History of The Peloponnesian War by Thucydides

Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë*

Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman*

Letters of Abélard and Héloïse

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis

Major Barbara by George Bernard Shaw

Man and Superman by George Bernard Shaw

Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

Mary Barton by Elizabeth Gaskell

Memoirs by William Tecumseh Sherman

Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka*

Middlemarch by Geroge Eliot

Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe

My Antonia by Willa Cather

Mysteries by Knut Hamsun

Narrative of the Lige of Frederick Douglas, an American Slave by Frederick Douglas

Nichomachean Ethics by Aristotle*

Nineteenth-Century American Poetry

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

Odyssey by Homer**

On Liberty and the Subjection of Women by John Suart Mill

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey

Passing by Nella Larsen

Personal Memoirs by Ulysses S. Grant

Portable Sixties Reader

Portrait of a Lady by Henry James

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Pygmalion by Bernard Shaw

Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne**

Seize the Day by Saul Bellow

Silas Marner by George Eliot

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

Song of Roland

Summer by Edith Wharton

Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

The Adventures of Augie March by Saul Bellow

The Aeneid by Virgil

The Ancien Régime and the Revolution by Alexis de Tocqueville

The Bhagavad Gita

The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas

The Death of Ivan Ilyich and Other Stories by Leo Tolstoy

The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio

The Epic of Gilgamesh

The Guide by R.K. Narayan

The Habor by Ernest Poole

The Hound of Baskerville by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

The Iliad by Homer

The Interesting Narrative and Other Writings by Olaudah Equiano

The Lais of Marie de France

The Marquise of O—and Other Stories by Heinrich Von Keist

The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot

The Odyssey by Homer

The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli*

The Prose Edda by Snorri Sturlson

The Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Other Stories by Robert Louis Stevenson

The Turn of the Screw by Henry James

Three Theban Plays by Sophocles

To a God Unknown by John Steinbeck

Utopia by Thomas More

Villette by Emily Brontë

A Vindication of the Rights of Women by Mary Wollstonecraft

Washington Square by Henry James

Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson

Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

Woodlanders by Thomas Hardy

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Non-Penguin Classics

A Mercy by Toni Morrison

Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath**

Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote

Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank*

Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood**

House on Mango Street by Sander Cisneros

My Antonia by Willa Cather

Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier

The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien*

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

Collections, Compilations, and Anthologies

100 Best-Loved Poems (American & British)

101 Great American Poems

English Romantic Poetry

Four Great Comedies of the Restoration & 18th Century

Four Great Elizabethan Plays

Great Poems by American Women

Seven Gothic Tales by Isak Dinesen (Karen Blixen)

Six American Poets (Whitman, Dickinson, Stevens, Williams, Frost, Hughes)

The Mammoth Book of Ghost Stories

The Vintage Book of Contemporary American Poetry

The Yellow Wallpaper and Other Writings by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Victorian Love Stories

* = Started & didn’t finish (yet)/Read parts

** = Read ≥5 years ago

Strike-through = Read

Updated: April 14, 2024

Total count: 126

#classic literature #literature #penguin classics #my classics collection #bookblr #long post #personal #op

[lizzybeth1986]

An Ear to The Ground

Book: The Royal Romance Book 1

Characters: Kiara Theron (featuring my MC, Esther, and the ladies of the court)

Word Count: 3, 655 words.

Summary: To the rest of Cordonia, Lady Kiara Thorne of Castelserraillan is just another suitor, destined at failure in winning the Crown Prince's hand. Luckily for Kiara, that isn't why she's here. Part of the Petals and Thornes universe.

Tagging @choicesficwriterscreations for FoTW

A/N1: Basically I was torn between gushing over Kiara's observation skills in Book 1 (specifically Lythikos) through an essay or through a fic. Though a fic would present more of a challenge for me 😁

"Le Prince va tomber amoureux de moi."

Kiara Thorne doesn't have to look around to note the sniggers coming from the other ladies, even as the words leave her mouth. Even from young Penelope, the girl she'd been taking under her wing for years...since the minute she became the last Great-House-Heir of their generation to celebrate her debut.

No matter. They may have been friendlier than most ladies in court, but right here Kiara knows she can't be anyone's friend. If anything Penelope returning that favour only means she's taught the girl well. It's not like you grew pigs together*, Maman would say.

Kiara herself knows her statement to be a fib as tall as the Eiffel, but there is such a thing as making sure you don't throw in the towel on your very first day. If you don't project ridiculous amounts of confidence - even in front of this crowd you grew up with - they could eat you alive. Which is precisely what is happening to one of the newer girls right now.

Lady Hana - the rather elusive daughter of a barony pocketed away somewhere between Domvallier and Ramsford, run by Zoroastrians who had settled for two centuries in the Indian subcontinent before finding their way to Cordonia - turns scarlet as Duchess Olivia tears into her for what seems to be an...engagement that ended fairly amicably. Kiara has heard rumours, true, but Olivia seems intent on making it sound like Cordonia considers the whole situation her fault. Kiara bristles a little at Olivia's exaggerations, knowing that she's going to repeat the same in front of the press, and that they will instantly lap it up.

When she knows full well that if this were even remotely true across the board, a Madeleine Amaranth would hardly be able to show her face in public.

The lady of Bethulia makes quick her exit, blinking away tears. That doesn't surprise Kiara. Many women will crash and burn at the first event itself; you need nerves of steel and a blanket assumption that every mistake you ever made in your life will be amplified on a national stage...and not many fully understand what that entails until they've had to face it themselves. She can only hope that what she has heard about the woman's other gifts may carry her through.

What does surprise Kiara, though, is the other new girl's response.

Esther DuPont of New York looks at the Duchess of Lythikos square in the eye - her own brilliant sapphire ones giving nothing away. Kiara doesn't exactly expect much from her either - in Lady Hana's case at least you could tell she has trained herself admirably in their ways despite being brought up an entire continent away. This one just seems entirely clueless.

"You're acting like a child, not a queen," her voice is calm, but every word slices through the tense night air with the brutal clarity of a newly-sharpened knife. "If this is how you behave, I wouldn't trust you with childproof scissors - much less a kingdom."

A shame that Olivia doesn't often feel turns her cheeks a bright red. If you'd just called her a bitch she would have considered that more of a kindness. "I...you can't..."

Esther's eyes glitter, then darken dangerously. "I just did."

The steely edge in her voice makes Kiara shiver for reasons that aren't just the cool night air.

This social season could get quite... interesting.

--

The first rule of observing well, ya Babba, is to never assume.

Kiara always thought she fully understood what her father meant when he said that. Until now.

Two days. Two days and three events - and already a complete sea-change in the way the competition looks. She'd entered this competition aware that she'd be the first to go - she just never imagined the plucky inexperienced newcomer to pull ahead of them all!

And she will never be more grateful to her father, than for the lesson that sometimes you should just sit back and enjoy the surprises that being wrong can bring.

Yesterday's afternoon with the Queen was a revelation in more ways than one. Her family no longer having King Constantine's favour meant that chances to interact with the royal family are rare, and getting an individual audience with Queen Regina even rarer - but Kiara was transfixed at the sight of her measuring up each one of them; finding more in the things they hid than in what they said. She knew each suitor by name, listened carefully to their answers... skillfully parried each one with deceptively-casual utterances about politics and governance.

Penelope, who had just gossiped two hours before about Lady Esther's tardiness to win more of Olivia's favour, withered almost instantly under the Queen's scrutiny. Kiara felt her own attempts to subtly size up the competition, and observe the Queen, increasingly gauche and far too obvious.

What did comfort her, however, was the grudging look of approval she got from the Queen after she was done. She knew by the beginning of the Derby that her time in the competition was pretty much done, but it felt incredible to have made an impression on someone that formidable.

And what did surprise her, was the Mystery Woman of the season. That was what the press claimed to be Lady Esther's moniker - her answers revealing everything about her interest in Cordonia and Prince Liam, and tantalizingly little about herself - and their reviews, coupled with the Queen's glowing approval, have made her an instant favourite with the public.

(It probably helps that the Crown Prince himself had such a hard time concealing his heart-eyes the moment he caught sight of her, Kiara thinks a little wistfully. It's been over 15 years since she last spoke to him as more than a casual acquaintance, but she knows that the one thing that hasn't quite changed about him is his slightly dreamy, romantic nature. A nature he tries so hard to keep in check)

For all Lady Esther's inexperience and tardiness, it is clear that she's quite adept at reading the room and carefully moulding her answers to pique the interest of her listener, often making them forget any motives she may have in the process.

Kiara doesn't doubt that she's been learning the finer details of court etiquette from her sponsors, and perhaps Lady Hana (she could spot the two of them while they were dancing the Cordonian Waltz today, with different partners - two couples away from each other - their footwork and twirls almost identical). Lady Esther has been adjusting far quicker than any of them realized, to the point where she almost upstaged Olivia tonight at her own party, despite being deliberately kept away from the spotlight.

Kiara's mouth twists in annoyance at the sheer audacity of Olivia's antics today. It isn't uncommon for every hostess to use their power, as the one leading the ceremony, so they can monopolize the main guest's time - but it also isn't every day that one sees a display as brazen as this one. She could almost understand the desire to seat every other suitor at a smaller, lesser table - and to publicly insult the suitors you like the least - but to the point where you forget all propriety? Where you grab the prize of the season like he is some...some rag doll and kiss him without warning? Mock every other woman who would have willingly supported you?

Countess Madeleine, last season's winner and the latest suitor to join the season, haughtily raised her chin at the display later and proclaimed that she could never that unrefined or insecure (Kiara, who has heard of both the drunken displays of Duchess Adeleide, and of Madeleine's own behaviour - both sober and rum-fueled - at the height of her last engagement two years ago, now stifles a snort).

Lady Esther, whose only flash of emotion seemed to manifest when she danced with the Crown Prince, kept her face determinedly neutral as Olivia continued her display, raising her head in defiance, daring the Duchess to admit that she was the reason for such an ostentatious, reckless display.

Olivia made the mistake of meeting Esther eye-to-eye then, and in the instance their eyes met it became clear Olivia knew she had lost.

Not just this twisted game she seems to be having with Lady Esther. No, Olivia has lost far more than that tonight. The press around her now murmur her name in hushed, scandalized tones, several nobles can be seen shaking their heads, and Prince Liam is nowhere to be found. Kiara herself has used the rest of the night to seek out potential contacts and create an impression. If she's lucky enough to find people influential enough, interested enough, she could perhaps return home with some tempting offers at hand.

Lady Esther has just finished speaking to her sponsor now, nodding at what seems to be a suggestion from his end. From the slight inclination of the woman's head in her direction, Kiara can hazard a guess exactly who they're talking about.

Any moment now, Esther will turn this way. She will smile faintly at Kiara's side-profile, unaware that Kiara has been watching her too. She will come forward. She will speak a few words in French (do not let it be voulez vous coucher avec moi I beg you God, I can't believe why these many people find it so funny). She will mention the kiss. List Olivia's faults. Assure her of an alliance of equal footing.

Kiara already knows her answer.

It will be a yes. But not before she makes Esther work a little for it first.

--

Kiara greets the news that she is officially out of the running for Prince Liam's hand, two weeks before the Apple Blossom Festival, with a sigh of relief. She has always feared the long agonizing wait for the acknowledgement of failure than the failure itself, and its finality is a balm to her brain, which has already begun its pursuit for more networks, more connections, more opportunities. Already she's been approached for a few translation-oriented projects.

While she is still participating in the social season, she uses the little clout she has to promote Lady Esther. Fortunately for her, she isn't the only one. Penelope joined in singing Esther's praises immediately after the Regatta, guilelessly praising her bravery in the face of a vicious crab she had rescued Penelope from at the Capitol beach (she stopped repeating that story after the second week; Kiara still cannot place a finger on why this unsettles her).

She must admit Lady Hana must have been a smart one, to identify and pledge her support to the woman who is now the season's top frontrunner. The one who makes even a Countess Madeleine sit up and take notice. She must have seen something in her that none of them had, and Kiara almost envies her that sense of instinct.

The more Kiara learns about Lady Hana, the more intrigued she feels. There is no doubt in Kiara's mind that the half-Chinese half-Cordonian suitor is no wilting wallflower; you could tell how competitive she is just by seeing her play a simple game with the other ladies. Yet, she seemed to show little interest in the social season for herself...and threw herself wholly into helping and promoting Esther long before even Kiara did.

At least she was doing it at least partly in self-interest. Kiara is hard-pressed to find much self-interest in most of what Hana does. She'd asked the other woman once why she'd plunged herself headlong into that kind of support. Hana had looked her straight in the eye and said, "She stood by me when no one else did."

The naked adoration in her voice, even now, one week later, makes Kiara skin prickle.

It is their final night at Applewood before the famed Beaumont Bash is to begin. Kiara tries not to look in Hana's direction - she is deep in discussion with the one man that Kiara has been trying to avoid directly looking at for months, fearing the flush on her neck and the hotness on her cheeks. Year after year she prays for this futile desire to either die or be met, and year after year it only intensifies with little encouragement from its source. She knows if she does catch a glimpse of him - each denim-clad inch of him - she will not be able to look away. Kiara wraps her cloak around herself a little tighter, hoping her involuntary shiver could be attributed to the light breeze.

Right next to her, Penelope talks to Madeleine in small, halting tones, almost like she fears the older woman's response. "I think Lady Esther will make a wonderful Queen". She brushes her knuckle lightly over the space between her nose and upper lip, wiping away small sweat beads.

Penelope has been looking lost and distracted for three days now. She jerks at the slightest sounds, doesn't look the other ladies in the eye anymore. Just the other day she watched King Constantine from a distance, the strangest expression on her face. She never told Kiara why, even when Kiara tried to nudge an answer out of her.

A muscle seems to jump beneath Countess Madeleine's cheek. "Well," she says, her voice sounding honey-sweet, and like a veiled threat, at the same time. "I suppose you're entitled to your opinion".

The lady they were just talking about is standing just a little way away from the main dining table, talking to Lord Tariq. At a cursory glance Esther seems attentive, but Kiara doesn't have to stand directly in front of her to understand her eyes are probably glazed over from boredom. Lord Tariq thinks entirely too much of his own charm, and he has hardly encountered a person daring enough to let him know how downright tedious he sounds.

Madeleine has turned to her now, her eyes expectant of a more positive response. Till now she's only heard the occasional story about how entitled Countess Madeleine could get, and how much she has assumed herself a gift to Cordonian politics. It's so fascinating, seeing her realize for the first time that she has true competition in a woman that none of them had even heard of, two months ago. It's so illuminating to see her struggle to adjust to that truth.

At least in Olivia's case you could factor in her personal feelings for the Prince himself. Madeleine doesn't even have that. She saunters around like she is above the chore of talking to the man she may have to marry if she wins this - and Kiara can never understand the logic behind that strategy. Even she - who didn't want to marry the Prince in the first place - used the few opportunities they had to speak, to rekindle their friendship and remind him of her own family's close connection to his mother. Attempts that he accepted with open arms and a warm smile, regaling her with memories of his own. Madeleine simply assumed that showering exclusive attention on her aunt and her father's former best friend would be enough.

Kiara knows her answer will make the season's second-favourite frontrunner furious. And unlike Penelope, she can't quite bring herself to care.

She still will deliver the news kindly, though. Madeleine is still a rather powerful woman. No point getting on her bad side when you could deliver honesty alongside a small bowl of honey.

--

What was it again that Baba had said? About never assuming?

How is it that she somehow never seems to fully absorb this vital lesson?

Lady Esther seemed to have have had it all. The adulation of the press, the approval of the Court, the blessings of the royal couple themselves...the heart of the man who is now Cordonia's new king.

How did she manage to blow it all up that spectacularly??

As soon as the thought leaves her head Kiara knows she's being unfair. She doesn't know the facts, and she doesn't want to fall for the hungry sensationalism that the likes of Them magazine are likely to bring. It seems just as likely - if not more - Tariq had sprung this on Lady Esther, and a rogue tabloid journalist had just caught him in the act.

Of one thing Kiara is sure. Lady Esther can't have been comfortable with any of this. You can tell from the look on her face on that photograph. She looks wary. Astounded. Vulnerable. Anything but a willing participant.

And while some of the possibilities of what may have happened in that room make Kiara sick to her stomach, she knows she cannot dwell on them.

Lady Esther is gone. As are Lady Hana and Duchess Olivia, for reasons that will perhaps forever stay a mystery. The only women standing, giving the new Queen-to-be even a skeleton of a court, are her and Penelope. They're all that's left to represent the Great Houses, and Kiara knows without question that every move she and Penelope make from now on will be examined with a fine-toothed comb. By the press, by the Council, especially by King Liam's future bride.

Perhaps her, more than Penelope. Even as spectacular a failure as the other woman's performance in the social season was, the words used to describe her were always going to be Sweet. Innocent. Friendly. The words used to describe Kiara were always going to be Cold. Snotty. Calculated. And she knows instinctively that were their personalities reversed, Kiara would be called vapid and silly, and Penelope would be labelled a magnificent strategist.

That is something she has never begrudged Penelope, or the court. She stopped caring about what people said about her a long time ago. As long as she still gets the connections she needs and the projects she desires, they could call her Medusa for all it mattered to her.

But now that the season is over, and Countess Madeleine has offered to keep them both on as ladies-in-waiting, Kiara knows that both their reputations are now intricately tied together. They both need to work in tandem, present a unified front behind the new royal couple, and to Cordonia. The onus of bringing Penelope up to speed, of ensuring she can still manage to navigate court successfully even when Kiara isn't around...is now on Kiara's shoulders. If Penelope fails - both of them fail.

Kiara picks up her phone, preparing to type a message to her friend so they can meet up. The press and Twitter public are likely scouring through both their past tweets for some juicy tidbit about their opinions during the social season, even as she is typing. She can already imagine the articles from Trend and BuzzWord, pulling up their statements of support for Lady Esther from just one week ago and placing them under a magnifying glass.

Already she can anticipate the withering looks Madeleine will give them everytime they open their mouths - letting them know she hasn't forgotten that they'd started out supporting someone else. For all her talk of unity and friendly competition and rallying around the winner, the future Queen is a cauldron of resentments inside, and even the most innocent slight can spell disaster for you later on.

Not for the last time, Kiara wonders if the Queen-to-be that King Liam had wanted, would have behaved the same way.

Kiara presses her lips closed, trying hard to chase away that near-scandalous thought. This is no time to be thinking of might-have-beens. Her and Penelope...they can still come out of this not looking like fools. They still have ways they can spin this so it works in their favour. So their loyalty will never be called into question.

She just has to coach Penelope on how to fall in line.

If there is a wary voice at the back of her mind, reminding her that anything can happen in the space between an engagement and a wedding...she pushes the thought resolutely away.

After all, even Baba would have to agree - there will come a time when it would be foolish to second-guess an inevitable result, n'est ce pas?

N'est ce pas??

--

Notes:

On n'a pas élevé les cochons ensemble: The literal translation (used in this story) is "we didn't grow pigs together", and the meaning of the idiom signifies - "you need to respect me more, I'm not your friend, or we have no anterior relations". In this context, while Penelope and Kiara may be friendly, they're not close friends and Kiara figures she shouldn't be expecting loyalty from her. (Credit to @thecapturedafrique for pointing me to this idiom!)

Ya Babba - Among some Arabic families, parents tend to playfully call their children by their own parental title. I am not sure if this is common in Darija, which is the language Hakim often speaks with his children, but in the absence of a nickname I could think of at present, I have him call Kiara by the name she gives him, which is Baba.

N'est ce pas? - "Is it not?" in French.

A/N2: You see how great Kiara's observation powers are especially in Lythikos, Book 1 - when it becomes obvious in the "successful" playthroughs that the MC is fitting in to courtly life better than she anticipated. She is the first member of the court besides Bertrand and Regina to note this. I speak more about it in the latter half of this QT.

She is also extremely pragmatic - she understands very well that she is never going to be a frontrunner in her season, and as early as Lythikos, spends more time networking and angling for connections that may further a future career. A lot of the time when people criticize her for being opportunistic, they forget that she never promised friendship, and instead kept her end of the bargain as an ally for the social season. This fic is an attempt to expand on these qualities as they feature in canon.

While in Book 3 and TRH, the team itself is eager to mould her into the shape of the phantom this fandom was so eager to hate, Book 1...and to a small extent Book 2...do feature these characteristics of hers quite strongly.

#kiara theron #kiaratheronappreciationweek #KTAW #the royal romance #the royal heir #the royal finale #KTAW Day 1 #KTAW Day 1: What We Love About Kiara #lizzybeth1986 #content: fanfic

[bybdolan]

wait I don't know how much you are actually interested in this but i've been thinking about dh lawrence cause I just finished reading lady chatterley's lover and uh. there's a weird implication in that book that the main character is a "real" "natural" woman cause she can orgasm from heterosexual penetrative sex. Like the love interest goes on a whole tirade about how he hates lesbians and women who don't come from p in v sex cause it's "unnatural" and it's like. not even refuted narratively or by the main character. idk I thought the book was really good in some places but THAT. kind of ruined it for me!!! The recent movie version kind of tries to fix that by showing cunnilingus which is NOT in the book and which I honestly feel like the book version gamekeeper lover would also think is unnatural and too much like lesbian sex lmaooooo it's so weird and makes me skeptical about lawrence

very Sally Rooney coded of him :) jk. I actually looked into his sexism/misogyny after reading that questionable essay about the Scarlet Letter in order to verify that No He Did Mean That, and his focus on the p*nis and penetration came up frequently in articles on the topic. It's honestly kind of bizarre and you are very valid for being taken aback by that part of the book (considering it IS so much about sex). Sex scenes in literature are a super interesting topic anyway because they do often say a lot about a romantic dynamic or one of the characters involved, but there are certain authors who have insanely repetitive sex scenes that are very "heteronormative" (= focused on the man's desire) and it's just strange to read about very different characters all engaging in the same sex practices? Murakami obviously comes to mind because the man does NOT ever let a female character c*m, but as weird as it is this usually is addressed in the novel and is part of a larger ~plot point~. (Still sucks and annoys me though. give me a character who can't get it up for once.) Sally Rooney on the other hand frequently features bisexual characters in her writing and while there are bisexuals who like traditional gender roles during sex, many of us also. Do Not. and it is lame that this is not taken into account when she writes sex scenes. like good for all the Sally girls that they are able to c*m from penetration alone but that's not reality! give me a bit of diversity! spice up the gender roles! ugh

#ask #anonymous #sorry this turned into a bigger rant than i expected ffddsgf

[lindyloosims]

It’s Mentha’s turn to come and visit the land of the living while Scarlet finishes up her essay before popping to the hospital to find out what’s going on with her lady parts.

As soon as she leaves, Mentha gets down to haunting the computer!

MENTHA: That was fun, what now?

Scarlet returns with a diagnosis, it’s Chlamydia! Still she smiles, it’s not fun and it’s not pleasant Scarlet! Why is this so amusing???

Since the power is off again due to no funds for the bills, Scarlet continues to refine her presentation in the dark!

So this dude, Faiz, one of Scarlet’s love interests seems to be texting her constantly! He’s very thirsty, he needs water!

Of course Scarlet said yes, even though she should be saving all of her money for the bills, which are hefty and take up most of their savings! The lights only just came back on!

If you can’t get to the mother, go through the child eh Mellow? A likely story that he wants to hang out with his son!

< Previous_Next >

#notsoberry #ts4 not so berry challenge #ts4 not so berry #ts4 nsb #sims 4 not so berry challenge #sims 4 not so berry #sims 4 nsb #the sims 4 not so berry challenge #the sims 4 not so berry #the sims 4 nsb #not so berry challenge #not so berry #nsb #nsb Rose #nsb gen 2 #Scarlet Rouge #Mentha Mynte Rouge #Dijon Dior #Mellow Dior

[thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole]

i hate it when i have to pretend i take a book seriously for english class when i actually could not possibly care less about it. im talking abt into the wild we have to write an essay abt it and ive got my claim and im like "hey guys give me reasons why my claim is true" into the groupchat and everyones like "well we dont think it is" ok girl im glad u have an actual opinion abt this i do not i just need to crank out a thousand words of good english work and submit it. i dont actually care if i agree with what im saying at all, this could not be farther from my interest, i have so much more to worry about in the world. i could actually give a shit whether or not the main character is a transcendentalist or not, literally dont care, just give me 2-3 body paragraphs and some quotes babey as long as my fingers keep moving i could be thinking about literally anything else and it wouldnt matter. god i wish we were doing good books in english this year

#*sobbing* i miss shakespeare #SHAKESPEARE WAS FUN. THERE WAS NEVER A DULL MOMENT LEARNING SHAKESPEARE #I WROTE A WHOLE ESSAY ABOUT LADY MACBETH THAT WAS ONE OF MY MOST PASSIONATE PIECES OF LITERARY ANALYSIS TO EVER EXIST #i miss those days #now its just scarlet letter this into the wild that #fuck it all #at least the scarlet letter was fucking F I C T I O N #what business does into the wild even have in the curriculum #like the scarlet letter was boring and tedious to read but i mean #it was better than this #hgowijgiwjgoiewjgiowejgoiw ok i have to work on this essay now #im writing this instead of it and its not fun #at the end of english class im gonna get a sucky participation grade if i dont write something on that damned google doc

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Who's pee girl?

This actually got longer then expected, so answer is under read more:

Pee Girl is the nickname we use for a tumblr user who was known as plaggandadrienbondingisthebest, but nowadays, its hard to keep track of her current username due to her constantly changing it, same going for her twitter really. And if her former username is no indication, she's a miraculous ladybug fan who is a huge Adrien stan but uh.....I put emphasis on huge here, given what she's become infamous for. I can't pinpoint when she started her actions in terms of timeline, but for more then a year, she'd been hate-stalking a user named Lady-LB due to Lady-LBs fanfic that had some Adrien salt in it, because instead of ignoring the fanfic like anyone else would, Pee Girl took it as a crime basically to even call out Adrien's actions and as a result, has basically hate-read the fanfic, calling Lady-LB various names and even at one point, dedicating a part of her essay of a tumblr user description, to ensure you know she hates Lady-LB.

But Lady-LB isn't the only user she's done this too. ANYONE who dares to insult precious Adrien is on her hit list. This includes the creator off the Scarlet Lady comic, zoe-oneesama, as Pee Girl infamously screenshotted her blog a-lot just to rant at her about poor Adrien and even dubbing her....not human, at some point.....and Pee Girl also did this to more users in the Adrien salters section, including miraculouscontent and imthepunchlord and rjalker and immaturityofthomasastruc and so on. Basically, had some salt on Adrien on your blog? Your guaranteed a screenshot on her blog of her calling you not human for not liking a fictional character and her finding various ways to insult you in the name of Adrien.

However, she's most infamously known for stalking and harassing Harriyanna, a youtuber who makes videos on family content and such and also has a tumblr. And, well, what's the thing we said that pisses pee girl off fully? Hating Adrien. So when Harriyanna made a video on Adrien that discussed his flaws and such, instead of just ignoring the video like anyone else would, Pee Girl decided to not only throw tantrums in her comments section on this video and even other videos, but she started to stalk Harriyanna via her videos and posts and even started impersonating other people she didn't like JUST to go after Harriyanna and prior to privating her tumblr, Pee Girl would post constantly about Harriyanna or reblog stuff just to go after her and trash her, all in the name off Adrien. And just when you think this is already bad, she also went after Harriyanna's amazing cosplays off ML characters on Instagram and made it clear she was stalking Harriyanna by reblogging a post about blackwashing characters, and prior to pee girl privating her twitter as well, she also clearly was stalking and harassing Harriyanna there as well via replying to Harriyanna's tweets through other users replies. This never ending campaign of stalking and harassment has actually led to Harriyanna getting the police involved but yet, pee girl still keeps going. All in the name of a fictional character.

But your....probably not wondering this anyway, but oh well: if she's an Adrien stan, is she one of THOSE who hate Marinette for everything Marinette does basically? ....Yes, yes she is. To the actual extremes that even fellow Adrien stans called her out. Why you may ask? Because she basically has hated Marinette at every chance and even non-chances, making Marinette out to be the spawn of satan basically and making her into some villain to poor Adrien to the point she through Plagg posts, clearly wants Marinette to be harmed and even cheers on the villains if it means Marinette is hurt and acts like Marinette asks for it and even.....on someoe's fic.....said Marinette....should be r worded by bugs. Yes. Yes she said that. It don't help she's also called Marinette a skank in the past, and if your a Marinette stan, good luck with your posts if she comes across them, especially if Lady Noire posts, because according to her, only Adrien can use Plagg, not evil Marinette....and yes, she stans Chloe and Lila and Felix at the same time, acting like they can have chances, but not Marinette. Never Marinette.

And now that your aware she wished for Marinette to be r worded and called her, a underage character, a skank; let's get into her habit of sexualizing underage characters. You heard me right. You see, her nickname Pee Girl comes from a kink of hers that....involves pee, basically. But instead of just keeping it to herself or I dunno, at least using adult characters, she decided to apply her kink to ADRIEN, a minor, and defends it with just being innocent. But children in real life CANNOT consent to kinks. There is nothing innocent about it. And if you thought the red flags ended there, oh no. She also has a habit of doing this to Poof and evil Poof from Fairly Odd Parents, and at one point, wanted to do it to invader zim. In summary? Actually disgusting. And given I mentioned it in the Harriyanna bit: Pee Girl has a habit of being racist. Because outside of that incident with the blackwashing video and her obvious targeting Harriyanna the most, Pee Girl also has a habit of hating on Alya, even calling her a brown cow once, and she has a lovely white OC called....Anna Dreadlocks. Yes, she actually named her OC whose white that, saw people point out the problem with the surname, and kept it anyway. And because she's already the really bad package: she also has a habit of coming off as homophobic. Not only has she been iffy with all female character x Marinette ships and even Alya X Kagami once, she also....is one of those that goes on about straights needing to be included in pride and shit. I just.....she really wanted to join that club I guess.

But presently, she's gone pretty quiet. Not out of choice though. Because recently, a friend of hers stepped forward to claim they helping Pee Girl improve and get better and basically stop being an all out what the fuck person and honestly, that also has its problems with the posts that were made, but you'll have to forgive us for being doubtful when Pee Girl has made alt's in the past to bypass stuff, including death threats on her kink focused alt and making an Adrien salter themed alt just to tell people to game over themselves. But you'll notice I said not by choice....because now its been exposed that uh....the friend is blackmailing pee girl with private info that pee girl told them in private. Meaning.....yeah, this isn't a good looking situation still right now and while I do hope to make a separate post on the blackmail thing cause I think it warrants its own post, I need to say as much as Pee Girl is a holy shit person: blackmail isn't helping. When you tell someone your private info, you tell them with trust, not for that person to then turn around and blackmail you, and there's so many reasons why blackmail is considered illegal.

#plaggandadrienbondingisthebest #duusuneedsmorescreentime #pee girl salt #like say what you want #but blackmail is illegal for reasons #any change in pee girl right now shouldn't be viewed as positive unless we see its actually her #since for all we know its the blackmail

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

(Written for Adrien August... I'm not sorry)

Bad Luck: Frozer

Summary: Adrien struggles to move on from his first crush so he confides in one of his friends. Or is she more than a friend?

-------------------------------

Chat Noir smiled sadly down at the red rose in his hands. Passion, romance, true love, he recalled in his head.

"Chat?"

Hiding the rose behind his back as he turned around, Chat Noir grinned at the question in Ladybug's eyes. "I have to say that rescuing civilians without a supervillain around is a nice change of pace. Don't you think, My Lady?"

"Not every day you see a hang glider delivery service," she agreed, smiling at the nickname.

Chest suddenly constricting Chat Noir's smile became a touch strained. "Love to stay and chat but this cat's gotta run!" Taking out his baton he extended it, launching himself away.

"Oh! See you la... ter..." Ladybug called to his retreating form.

---------------

Landing in the empty locker room Adrien detransformed in a flash of green light. Plagg stretching as he came out of the ring.

Eyeing Adrien's downcast features, Plagg pried at his holder. "It's not like you to leave Ladybug so abruptly."

"Yeah..." Adrien absently offered a wedge of Camembert to his floating friend who promptly swallowed it whole. "Guess I just need some time to myself."

"So she turned you down. There's plenty of other kinds of cheese!"

Despite himself Adrien smiled. "You need better metaphors."

Plagg shrugged. "You could always take it literally. You can never have enough cheese!"

Adrien rolled his eyes as he changed into his fencing gear. Plagg wasn't as articulate as he thought but... he wasn't wrong...

These thoughts swirled in Adrien's head as he joined Kagami at practice.

A mistake he paid for when Kagami knocked him off his feet. Standing, Adrien parried as Kagami lunged. She always gave her all in beating her opponent. Scoring a point he smiled and they retook their positions.

But his heart still wasn't into the sparing session and her next lunge drove him off balance. Her foil poking into his chest.

"Predictable," Kagami chastised.

Eyes narrowing, Adrien's more competitive nature surged forward at her words. Heart beating faster, grip tightening on his foil and-

It was gone as soon as it came.

Leaving Adrien vulnerable to Kagami's strike...

---------------

Adrien stared pensively at his fencing helmet. He knew Ladybug didn't like him the same way he liked her. That wasn't anything new. So why was he-

"What's wrong, Adrien? Usually I like beating you but it's no fun when you make it this easy." Kagami stood in front of him with an unreadable expression.

Adrien gave her a bittersweet smile. "You ever feel like you're stuck, Kagami? Like, no matter how much you try to move forward, nothing will ever, ever change?"

Kagami blinked in surprise as Adrien opened up to her. This wasn't what she was expecting... Sitting next to him Kagami took a moment to collect her thoughts. "Adrien. The biggest mistake a fencer can make isn't choosing the wrong technique. It's choosing the wrong target."

Oh. She liked metaphors too. Well, with his luck to was bound to-

Her hand gently cupped his cheek and turned his head to face her. "So, switch targets."

...Oh. A rose tint colored Adrien's cheeks. Kagami was always beautiful but for some reason... it was especially true just then.

Smiling in encouragement Kagami grabbed her things and walked out of the locker room. Leaving Adrien to his thoughts.

He stared after her for a moment... Launching to his feet Adrien raced after her in a moment of sheer panic and recklessness.

"Kagami!" Adrien practically shouted.

Not having gone far Kagami turned around, puzzled.

Taking a deep breath, heart pounding against his ribs, Adrien let out the thought that propelled him to his feet. "Would you like to go out some time!?"

Kagami's eyes went wide. "Out? As in a date?"

The color on Adrien's cheeks bloomed into scarlet. Suddenly even more self-conscious he rubbed the back of his neck- "Um," -and nodded. His mouth refusing to form words.

Half turning, Kagami gave him a small smile. "I'd like that."

Adrien felt his lips pull into a grin. Heart somersaulting in his chest for some reason.

---------------

"What should I do, Plagg?" Adrien bemoaned. Head thunking onto his computer desk. "I've never been on a date before!"

"Wasn't this your idea?" Plagg flipped through his favorite cheese magazine. He swore this romance nonsense was the silliest invention humans had ever come up with. "If you ask me it's about time you expanded your palate."

"You're no help," Adrien grumbled. Lifting his head up Adrien swiveled around to look at Plagg. "What if I asked Father or Nathalie for advice?"

"Sure." Plagg stretched lazily. "If ya want them to know about you and sword girl."

Sighing, Adrien discounted that idea. "Oh! We can ask the Gorilla!"

"I don't know," Plagg mused, "doesn't seem like a good idea."

"You just don't like it 'cause he found your Camembert stash that time," Adrien teased, poking Plagg lightly.

"It was perfectly edible! How could he!?"

Chuckling at his antics, Adrien thought about who he could go to for advice...

---------------

Adrien tried not to hurry ahead of Kagami into the ice rink proper. The chill making his arm hairs stand on end. His breath sharp in his throat. Heart beating with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Asking Marinette had been a great idea!

He turned back to see Alya and Nino slowly catch up. If only she could have made it. But that essay on periwinkle migration sounded important to her... Oh, Chloe's dad was here.

As they put on their skates Adrien glanced at Kagami out of the corner of his eye. Scooting closer to Nino he whispered: "Thanks for coming last minute, Nino."

"Hey, no problem dude! Anything for my bro." Nino's grin was a tad forced and his eyes drifted to something behind Adrien before snapping back.

"I don't know what to do with Kagami."Adrien admitted, leaning in. "Should I... offer to hold her hand?"

"Yes!" Nino snapped his fingers and held up finger guns at Adrien. His eyes flickered away again. "I mean, no! I mean- Why don't you take it slow?"

Adrien turned around to see what Nino was looking at but it was just Alya smiling politely, hands behind her back. Probably waiting patiently for him to finish with her boyfriend.

Straightening, Adrien smiled at her. "Thanks for coming, Alya."

"No big deal! Just a double date, right!" Alya smiled wide in an attempt to draw attention away from her accidental inflection.

"...Right." Adrien politely declined to comment on it.

"Anyway!" Alya grabbed Nino's hand and dragged him off. "We'll let you two get to it!"

Adrien turned back to Kagami, who was tying her skates. Hesitantly, he made his way over and stood beside her.

"Don't be scared," Kagami promised conspiratorially as she looked up, "I won't tell anyone."

"About what?" Adrien asked slowly.

"That you don't know how to tie your laces," she teased, kneeling down to do just that. Once done Kagami smiled at him, grabbed his hand and led him onto the ice.

---------------

"I can't believe you agreed to this!" Alya stage whispered. Arm locked tightly around Nino's elbow as they skated on the opposite side of the rink.

"Aw, c'mon Als. Y'know I couldn't leave my bro hanging like that!" Nino widened his eyes and tried to sparkle them like Adrien had. "He gave me the look. How could I say no to that?"

"I know..." Alya sighed. The crease between her eyes softening from accusation to guilt. "I just..." Adrien and Kagami caught her eye as they skated hand in hand. "Feel like I'm betraying my girl just by being here."

Nino patted her hand and gave her a soft smile. "I'm sure the dudette will understand." His gaze drifted towards Adrien and Kagami. "Besides... I don't think she'd want to see this."

"Hey, young man! Have you ever thought about signing up for ice skating lessons!?"

--------------

Kagami turned her head as Alya and Nino skated past them on their lap. "Did you invite them because you were scared of being alone with me?"

"Of course not!" Adrien lied, waving his hand to ward off her words. "It's just... that I asked Nino to help... me."

Her brow creased. "Help you with what?"

"Uh, to perfect my figure skating skills!" Adrien decided.

"But you don't need him for that." Suddenly, Kagami let go of his hand and launched into a short routine of spins and twirls.

Adrien blinked at her presentation before an appreciative smile graced his lips. Kagami has so many talents, Adrien thought as she talked with that man who had been discussing something with Mayor Bourgeois.

Seamlessly, Kagami interlaced their fingers as she took his hand again and pulled him forward with her momentum. Glancing at his smile through the corner of her eye.

"Adrien Agreste, I can see it now!" The skating instructor (that's what he was) was suddenly beside Adrien. "Grace and style model! And professional ice skating champion! If you take lessons with me I'll have you shining like the candles on a birthday cake!"

Skating? Adrien had never thought about it before. "Uh, may-beeee!"

Kagami switched their positions so she was closest to the instructor. "He already does fencing with me," she informed him. And sped up with Adrien in tow.

Adrien stared at the back of Kagami's head. She was very assertive in her desires, bold even. Kagami knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to go for it. He admired that about her, was drawn to it. Kagami would meet any challenge without backing down.

Just like Ladybug.

His fingers slipped from Kagami's grasp as he slowed to a stop. Staring at the floor as his cheeks burned not with embarrassment but shame.

"Adrien? What is it?" Kagami asked as she circled back.

Adrien smiled. "Nothing. I just have to use the restroom real quick." Turning, he let his smile fall as he left the rink.

Plagg poked his head out of his pocket once they were alone. "What's gotten into you, kid?"

Adrien stared at him. "I don't know."

Worry started to prick at Plagg's fur. "Adrien-"

"I don't know what I want, Plagg!" His heart hammered against his chest, pulse rising to his throat. "Kagami knows. Ladybug knows. Chat Noir thought he knew but... but I don't." Adrien wrapped his arms around himself, making himself smaller.

"... Listen, you're young right? Even by human standards? Like a freshly made wheel of Camembert."

Adrien frowned, turning away. "Plagg-"

"Hear me out!" Plagg zipped closer to Adrien's face, keeping in his line of sight. "But freshly made Camembert is terrible! It's got no flavor! No delicious scent! You need to let it age to bring out all the good stuff."

Adrien glanced at Plagg. Seeing his tail twitching in concern even if he wouldn't voice it. Strangely, Adrien understood what he was trying to say.

"All cheeses age differently. There's nothing wrong with taking your time." Plagg finished, not quite satisfied with how it came out.

Adrien smiled at him, reaching out to pet his head. "Thanks, Plagg."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Plagg let himself be petted. Not because he enjoyed it, of course. It just happened to make Adrien feel better.

Suddenly, ice started crawling up the walls. Magic coming from the ice rink. "Oh, no. Guess we have to go save the day," Plagg said, very disappointedly, yes.

Adrien grinned as he brought out the transformation cheese. "Uh-huh."

---------------

Chat Noir's good humor lasted until he spotted Ladybug on a rooftop. Oh. He didn't... want to see her right now. Reluctantly, he landed beside her. Doing his best to keep the conflicting emotions wrestling in his chest off his face.

"Chat Noir! We need to set up a trap for whoever turned the city into a giant ice rink." Ladybug anchored her yo-yo onto a nearby building, ready to take off.

Say something. Say something! "My feline instincts prefer to track and observe before I attack." Ha! Nailed it! Chat Noir scooted closer to the roof's edge as he scanned the frozen city.

Ladybug gave him a puzzled look. "What? Since when?"

Chat Noir pouted. "Rude."

Shaking her head as she fought back a fond smile Ladybug inched towards him. "We have to work together on this."

His hand rubbed the back of his neck, catching her eye. "I don't know. We don't have to do everything together. If we split up we'll have a better chance of finding him." Chat Noir jumped. "Race you!"

"Chat Noir, be careful!" Ladybug called out as he sped away. "... Okay, so he's acting weird. Not the first time he's acted weird. It'll be fine!" She cast her yo-yo and swung off. I hope.

---------------

Being by himself helped Adrien order his thoughts. His feelings were all over the place so he focused on doing what he told Ladybug he was gonna do. It was child's play to follow the only imperfection on otherwise smooth ice. Leading him to the Eiffel Tower where the akuma victim was hiding.

Okay. Now I just need to-

Frozer launched himself at Ladybug!

Acting quickly Chat Noir tackled Ladybug out of the way. Grabbing her hand and leading her onto the frozen Seine. Skating away at top speed to put some distance between them and Frozer.

"Thanks, kitty!" Ladybug smiled.

And Adrien smiled back. Confusing questions forgotten for the moment. Then Frozer launched shards of ice; Chat Noir letting go of Ladybug's hand so they could dodge it. Only then realizing that he'd been holding it at all.

"He's too fast!"

She was right. Frozer easily kept pace with them. Leaping into the air to launch more ice shards. Rounding a bend in the river they were out of sight for a second. Taking advantage of it to hide.

"I'm positive the akuma's in his skates," Ladybug stated once Frozer passed them.

"My Cataclysm could destroy them but he'd have to be up in the air... You were right My Lady. We're going to have to set a trap."

"You were right, too. We observed and now we know enough."

Chat Noir smiled. "Seems we're just missing a little push of luck to get the edge on him."

Ladybug nodded. "Lucky Charm!"

---------------

Adrien raced back to the ice rink. In the end the plan had been pretty straightforward. Ladybug baited Frozer into following her while Chat Noir laid in wait.

Business as usual. Except...

'Are you sure you're okay? You've been off since yesterday.'

'...I'm just figuring some things out. Might take me a while but that's okay... Thanks for worrying about me.'

Being around Ladybug didn't make him feel quite so sad anymore. Chat Noir meant it when he said her friendship was important to him, after all. And... Adrien was happy. That he could be normal around her.

He spotted Alya and Nino discussing something, waving at them as he looked for... There. Kagami was returning her skates. Adrien walked up to her, fidgeting with his ring. "Uh, hey, Kagami. Sorry I ran off like that."

"It is fine. We were interrupted anyway."

Adrien couldn't tell how she meant that but he took a deep breath and forged ahead. "So, I know I'm the one who asked you out and all. But..."

Kagami frowned. "Are you saying you do not wish to date me?"

"No!" Adrien waved both hands emphatically in the negative. "No, no, no! I just... wanted to say that I think we should take it slow."

She raised an eyebrow. "We go any slower and our pace will be glacial."

Adrien was 90 percent sure that was a joke... 80 percent. "W-well if you think it's too much of a challenge..."

Kagami's eyes widened at Adrien's audacity. She poked him in the chest. "Don't flatter yourself, Agreste."

Without thinking, Adrien grabbed her hand and kissed the back of her palm. Kagami's answering blush nowhere near as radiant as Adrien's. Why did I do that!? Who froze for a moment before turning around. "W-wouldn't dream of it... Ryuko."

"Ryuko?" Kagami raised a brow at the nickname.

Adrien's hand went back to rubbing his neck. "I can call you something else if you don't like it."

"No," Kagami decided, a small smile on her lips as she passed Adrien on her way to the exit. "Ryuko will do just fine."

"... So, that's a yes?" Adrien sprinted to catch up.

"Mm, perhaps if you define what you think 'taking it slow' is."

Adrien leapt in front of her and held out his hand. "Let us drive you home?"

Kagami blinked at the offered hand. Slowly reaching out for it. His palm was warm in hers. "Going slow is not too bad. I suppose," she relented.

Adrien beamed. "Oh! Just one last thing!"

--------------

Kagami entered the Agreste car as Adrien held the door open, sliding in behind her. "You're still doing what other people want."

"No, I just want him to be happy," Adrien countered. Giving the skating instructor free advertising didn't cost him anything. "Besides, how're we supposed to come back if it's a Chloe catered gym?"

"Back?" That sounded promising.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck and couldn't quite look at her but he smiled. "Since our first date was cut short I was hoping we could try again."

Kagami gazed at Adrien as he fidgeted. "Just the two of us?"

"Y-yup!" Adrien's face burned.

"Good. You're crush on Nino was distracting."

"Wh-what!?" Adrien spluttered.

"... You're crush on Nino? I thought everyone knew. Personally, I prefer Alya but-"

"I don't- That is- I..." Adrien's shoulders slumped. "His eyes are so beautiful, it's like he stares into your soul."

Kagami's hands hovered awkwardly. "I am sorry. I thought you knew."

Adrien buried his face in his hands to muffle his yelling. "I thought I only had the one thing! This is... I don't even know how many things this is!"

Reaching for his hand again, Kagami squeezed it reassuringly. Back straightening as his grip turned out stronger than she expected.

He peeked at her through the splayed fingers covering his red face. Breath speeding up. "I... I don't..."

"You don't have to say anything. I know it is not easy to come to terms with."

Nodding gratefully, Adrien slowly took his hand away from his face. Taking deep breaths.

Kagami relaxed as Adrien did the same. This wasn't what she was expecting. But that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Turns out, Kagami had been aiming at the wrong target too.

Adrien's grip eased as he looked up at Kagami. That was... certainly a lot. But Kagami hadn't turned away from him. Only a handful of people had ever seen him so vulnerable. And two of them preferred to pretend otherwise. But Kagami didn't pretend. And Adrien admired her for it. He smiled, wobbly and honest.

"Thanks... Ryuko."

------------------------------

In case it's unclear the two people Adrien's talking about are Gabriel and Nathalie.

*Rewatches Frozer (again) for this fic* ... If my friend fell and they said they didn't feel well I'd check up on them too. IDK why the the fandom- I mean, Plagg, is so hung up on that part.

I have taken liberties with the production of Camembert for this fic. Please, forgive my transgressions cheese enthusiasts.

@adrienaugust

#adrien august #adrien agreste #kagami tsurugi #adrienaugreste #adrienaugust #adrigami #adrimi #frozer #ml fanfic #ml rewrite #bisexual adrien agreste #bisexual kagami tsurugi #ml #miraculous ladybug

[artificialqueens]

The Second Best That I Could Do (When the Perfect Gift is You) (Rosnali/Scyvie) - Ashley

A/N: Working almost every day of the holidays, Denali was convinced that Christmas was well and truly ruined for herself. Until, of course, Santa sent a pink-haired musical theatre fanatic down the escalator who just might be the best gift she could get. Scarlet’s Christmas couldn’t be going better; by some miracle, she managed to pick Yvie out of the work’s secret Santa and she knew exactly what she’s going to buy her…so just what exactly could go wrong? (6k)

So I actually managed to finish a second fic this year?? It’s a Christmas miracle. This one shot is set in my Got My Number universe (near the beginning of If We Walk Down This Road) however you don’t have to have read any of those fics to understand this so feel free to just take it as it is and let me know if you enjoy <3

Happy belated birthday @artificialortega, this ones for you x

(fic challenge words: shop, gift, family)

To describe working in retail during the build-up to Christmas as a nightmare was an understatement. If Denali had to put it into words, she’d say it was more of a simulated reality, a fucked-up episode of Black Mirror where everyone in radius seemed to lose all concepts of human decency and she was the only person left with the power to harness common sense and rational thought.

Just last week she had to explain to a lady why a voucher for a completely different shop wouldn’t work at the till last week, culminating in a team meeting where she was forced to apologise for “rolling her eyes like a fruit machine at the customers” because, of course, they’re always right.

Of course, it wasn’t always too bad, there were nights like Wednesday when the mothers of the town were too busy waiting for their kid to say a line in the nativity to get into fights about three-draw storage units and the store would find its own lull, leaving Denali free to hide in the lamp aisle (her favourite one, shortly preceded by the one with all the fake flowers).

A few people her own age would stumble in, grabbing some frozen sausage rolls from the Iceland section and browsing all the stationary before getting on their way. A trip to the retail park and big Tesco was a big deal when you’re a student in essay season so Denali was never too surprised to see them on those kinds of nights.

Yet somehow, she found herself completely and utterly gobsmacked at the sight of Rosé McCorkell coming down the escalator basket in hand, her carnation pink curls spilling out of her scrunchie to catch Denali’s eye right away.

Denali had read about carnations in a mythology book her Nana had bought her one birthday. The Goddess Diana fancied a young shepherd boy who rejected her so she ripped out his eyes and threw them into the soil, sprouting into the carnation. She couldn’t really imagine liking someone enough that she’d want to rip their eyes straight from the head if they rejected her but then again, she also never understood why the dumb shepherd boy rejected the literal goddess of hunting in the first place.

It was safe to say Denali had always had a thing for absolutely terrifying women.

Not that Rosé seemed the type of person to rip people’s eyes out or anything but Denali had tried out against her for the role of Fanny Brice in their musical theatre group and she’d still not properly recovered (she’d never imagined a rendition of Don’t Rain on My Parade could be scary or sexy yet somehow it was both? And if she was being honest, she hadn’t known whether to cry or say hello to the heel of her foot when she’d gotten home that night).

Pretty soon she made her way towards the checkouts and Denali wondered why on earth she'd left the house wearing a little tartan skirt considering it was snowing outside and the colours clashed with just about everything else she had on. Despite spending around ten weeks awed by Rosé’s talent and beauty, Denali drew the line at the girl’s taste level - a big, black line that painted over all the mismatching patterns and unnecessary ruffles that burned her retinas more and more every rehearsal.

And this was coming from someone who’d spent twenty years watching ice skating competitions.

Not that she minded too much that day, the sight of Rosé’s long legs striding over making her own almost too weak to hold her weight.

Maybe she did need her eyes tearing out after all.

“Hey.” She popped her things down on the conveyor: two packs of laminating sheets, a pink notebook with a matching pen, a box of Turkish delight and the biggest bottle of Heinz low-calorie mayonnaise Denali had ever seen in her life (very random, Denali thought to herself. But also very Rosé). “You’re a Rollerskate Rag, right?”

Denali dropped the notebook and watched it slide all the way down to the bottom of the bagging area.

Rosé McCorkell knew who she was.

“Yeah, I, erm, tried out for a proper part but don’t think my acting’s quite there yet.”

“Oh, baby, don’t say that. I’ve seen you skating and you’re there for a reason. I reckon I could use some lessons from you before opening night if I’m being honest.”

Rosé McCorkell had noticed her.

Rosé McCorkell wanted roller-skating lessons from her.

Rosé McCorkell called her baby?

“I dunno, I'm pretty sure the whole point is that you’re meant to be bad. So long as you don’t fall off stage and flatten a member of the audience, I think you’ve done your job.”

It was then that Denali realised it wouldn’t make the tiniest of differences to her situation if her eyes were ripped out [after all]

Because she’d made Rosé laugh, a big hearty laugh that sounded like it came from a middle-aged man yet fell out of her lips so naturally. Of course, she’d miss the smile that came along with it, the chip in Rosé’s front tooth she’d never been able to spot in the studio or on her Instagram posts, a sneaky glimpse at the perfectionist’s imperfection that only lived for Denali there at that moment, something suddenly quite special about the bright white lights of the store and the royalty-free Christmas covers that played around them. But she could do that, survive without her sight so long as she could still hear Rosé’s stupid husky laugh (she knew this was quite a dramatic statement to be making, even if only in her head, but Denali figured anything that made the Glee version of Last Christmas feel like the pinnacle of romance ought to be powerful enough to allow for altering of the senses).

“Well, we’ll just have to make sure there's a few empty spaces in that front row just in case then. A big sign telling everyone to mind their heads for falling theatre kids.”

Rosé began popping her things into her tote, immediately making Denali regret how efficient she was at finding barcodes. In fact, watching Rosé packing ready to leave suddenly made the months she and Mik had spent competing to see who could scan quicker after watching the staff at Lidl absolutely outdo the pair of them feel like the dumbest waste of time in the history of retail jobs.

And she’d once spent an entire three afternoons trying to properly distribute the fluff in every cushion.

“Here.” Denali stopped her just as she went to say bye, rummaging through her drawer for one of the gift cards she was supposed to be saving for the post-Christmas sales. “Take one of these for the next time you need a giant bottle of mayonnaise. It only activates on Boxing Day though so you’ll have to make sure that one lasts you ‘til then.”

“Thanks, baby.” Rosé took the gift card from her hand, catching Denali’s eye for a second or two too long before turning to leave. “I’ll see you around.”

Denali waited until she was fully out of the shop to let out a breath, smiling to herself like an idiot for the entire rest of her shift, unaware of who or what was even around her because the only thing her eyes could see was Rosé.

***

“Look I’m really sorry I’ve forgotten my purse but I do want to come back tomorrow to buy this and it's the last one, is there any chance you could keep it in the back for me to make sure no one takes it? It’s like super important.”

Scarlet knew what she was going to buy for Yvie the second she pulled the name out of the hat.

She’d known before she picked her name too, having run through ideas for what she’d get each member of staff depending on whether or not she was their Secret Santa: a magic eight ball for Priyanka or perhaps some old Spice Girls merch, a nice pair of dangly earrings for Jaida and the biggest bottle of jager she could find if she picked Heidi, provided, of course, that she only consumed it when she didn’t have a shift the next day (Scarlet did not fancy a repeat of the “why is there brown rice in the sink?” saga from Halloween).

The possibilities were endless.

Yet still, only one thing had come to mind when she thought about what to buy her closest friend and worst enemy at the Centre (well, two things, but she figured she couldn’t buy a new soul at the retail park down the road and didn’t really fancy driving out of town to find one).

The fucking nutcracker.

Or as Yvie had kindly referred to it on the previous week's shopping trip, “Satan in wood form.”

“I think it’s quite cute.” Scarlet looked at the nutcracker then back at Yvie.

“I’m sorry, you what?” Yvie spoke with the passion of great poets. Tennyson’s charge and Dunbar’s tragedy and Angelou’s ocean all there in her pure hatred for the trinket. She was crazy as fuck sometimes but that’s what Scarlet had grown to really like about hanging out with her; Yvie threw her entire being into their points of contention like she was fighting for her life and Scarlet wanted nothing more than to take its weight.

And poking just that little bit of it back.

“I said I think it’s cute. Me and Lemon watch Barbie in the Nutcracker like every week - it's just like the one from that, see, Yves?”

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you, at the ripe age of eighteen, just admitted to watching Barbie in the Nutcracker every week with your sister because you clearly have something wrong with your level of taste if you think this piece of tat is anything near cute. I honestly think they should fire whoever even designed this. And you want to put it in the Centre?” Her eyebrows danced up and down as she spoke and Scarlet fought every bone in her lower face not to crack a smile. “Oh, hey guys, you know that fifty quid we had to spend on Christmas decorations. Well, we didn’t actually get anything to put on the counters. Or any lights to wrap around the trampoline railings. Didn’t get any fake snow either, sorry - Scarlet spent the majority of it on a crystalised nutcracker we found in the “Last Chance to Buy Bin” at the Range because apparently children aren’t getting enough nightmares from her safety talks and we thought we really ought to do something to change that this festive period.”

Scarlet put her hands over the nutcracker’s head and gasped, covering its eyes and non-existent ears from Yvie’s heinous words.

“Well, I think it’d be money well spent.”

“And that’s exactly why they made you bring me with you to do this.”

No one had made her, of course. Just like no one made her drive Yvie home after every shift, taking the long way around the river cause Yvie said the bridge by hers can get really icy this time of year, stopping for a bag of chips and batter if either of their stomachs made a noise or a hot chocolate if Scarlet so much as heard Yvie shiver.

But it was easier that way.

To pretend their time together was happenchance.

That they were forced to spend so much time side by side that they had started to breathe in the same beat.

“I have incredible taste and you know it.” Scarlet reluctantly put the nutcracker back into the bin, tapping a goodbye on its chest and pulling a pout towards Yvie.

“Barbie in the Nutcracker?”

“Every week was an exaggeration, it’s more of a monthly thing if I’m honest with you. We only watch the Twelve Dancing Princesses every week.”

“It’s that fact I know you’re not even joking.” Yvie shook her head, flipping the nutcracker around on its front before shuddering and making her way down the next aisle, Scarlet following her footsteps like they were the only ones visible in a big field of snow.

Of course, the girl looked at her like she was crazy when she brought it over, probably wondering why she would buy it in the first place, never mind why she wanted to have it stored in the back for her like an expensive piece of jewellery at auction.

“If not, I can come back tonight. I just don’t think I can make it in time.”

A half-lie, really. The shop didn’t close for another few hours so Scarlet had plenty of time to drive to Plastique’s, grab her purse and come back to claim her perfect gift. Only the Centre closed in thirty minutes, which meant someone else would be waiting at the bus stop in thirty-five if Scarlet didn’t turn up for “last-minute rush” cover that she’d pretend her dad sent her for and wouldn’t even bother to write on her timesheet.

“I’ll put it in the back for you.” The girl took the nutcracker with care, smiling at Scarlet in that painstakingly familiar way that said ‘customer service at Christmas is just the best place to be in the world and I understand now why Santa’s elves are so happy only ever seeing each other.’

“Thank you so much, you’re honestly an angel.”

Scarlet walked out of the store with her feet slightly above the ground, knowing that, despite not faring so well in the overall war, Team Scarlet was about to change the course of history with her triumph in the Battle of the Nutcracker.

And she’d get to see Yvie’s face live and in colour in just one week as it happened.

***

When Mik had texted Denali at ten-thirty saying ‘girl this place is hell today just warning you. i would be faking some sort of illness before you start if i were you xxx’ (shortly followed by a second message telling her to ignore that and not to fake an illness or else he’d be the only sane member of staff there and wanted someone to get a Maccy’s with at the end of their shifts), she hadn’t really started with a whole load of optimism, pretty much knowing things were going to go wrong from the get-go.

Which they did, of course. But none of it really bothered her until the afternoon. A man let his dog piss in the DIY aisle? She was too busy helping an old lady carry her bags to the car in the name of excellent customer service so Kandy would have to do it instead. The fire alarm went off after Tina from HR burnt her toast in the staff room? All Denali could see was an extra half an hour added to her lunch break.

Actually, she was having a pretty good day until it happened.

Because even the promise of a post-work McDonald’s didn’t make an interaction with a Karen any more worth it.

She’d been quite lucky on the Karen front, hadn’t had any in a while actually - though she did speak to a girl a tad younger than her the night before who she could see being a bit of future Karen, not the crazy ‘I want to speak to the manager and get you fired’ type but certainly the ‘I might just nip behind the till and grab my own drink if no one is here to get it for me’ type. This Karen though? This one was beyond both. She was ready to reach into the till with her French manicured tips and grab Denali’s wages herself.

“Look, it says it right there on the back, these gift cards are only valid from the 26th December to the 31st January. Someone has just given it to you early so you can come in and spend it as soon as the deal starts. They will have explained that to you.” She pointed to the fine print on the back, knowing fine well Mik would be paying for her fucking McChicken for giving out so many of the stupid gift cards that week.

“Exactly, it’s not even January yet so it must be valid.” The woman exclaimed like this was a game of poker and she’d just played her ace. When Denali, and every single other person on the planet with an ounce of common sense (besides maybe her manager), would be able to see it was only a two.

“Yes, but it’s not December 26th yet either.” Denali pointed to the back of the card, trying her best to come off as patient when she wanted to turn into Tiffany Pollard’s mom and ask her what, in God’s name, was not clicking.

“So how do you expect me to pay for all this stuff, I mean, I’ve spent my personal time picking all this out?”

And I’ve spent mine scanning it, Denali replied in her head, a set of fully gritted teeth hidden behind her lippy smile.

“Look I can pop it all back for you if you want or you can get it now, it’s just you can’t use that gift card on anything until after Christmas.”

Denali had already explained this, the woman telling her that she needed this stuff before Christmas and it would be useless after but she had no other path to go down at that point, ready for the conversation to take up the entire rest of her shift and perhaps even overtime.

Heck, the way this woman was going the 24-hour McDonald's would have found a way to close by the time Denali got away.

“My daughter gave me this, you know. I’m gonna go outside and call her so she can come down here and sort this out.”

“If you must.” With that the woman scuttled away, practically attacking the air with her Radley as she did, leaving Denali to temporarily close her till with all the crap on it and move everyone waiting over to Mik’s.

Perhaps she wouldn’t get that free McChicken after all.

“I’m sorry.” She went over to help at Mik’s counter, eyeing the door cautiously for the woman’s return.

“It’s not your fault gorge. Honestly, can’t wait for all these boomers to die out so we can just live life in harmony.”

Denali looked up at the guy packing his bag and tried her best not to laugh: “He’s kidding.”

He wasn’t.

“I think she’ll stay here until Boxing Day at this rate, you’ll have to make yourself a Christmas dinner from all the frozen stuff and eat it while she stares you down.”

“No way would I miss my Mama’s cooking for that piece of-” Denali stopped herself before swearing in front of the customer, the sight of Kandy coming over bringing flashbacks to the customer service meetings of Christmas past that she didn’t fancy repeating (not that ‘I can’t wait for all these boomers to die’ wasn’t already enough to land them in one).

“Hey girls, do either of you know if we have any nutcrackers? Some ugly ass rhinestoned thing we had in earlier?”

Denali immediately regretted calling the girl from the night before a future Karen; she had manners and a smile and Denali would do anything to go back and serve her instead of Mrs I Don’t Know How to Work a Calendar.

“It’s in the stock room next to the party decorations,” Denali shouted over, about to tell Kandy she’d run and get it until she heard the automatic doors sliding open and knew she wouldn’t have a chance.

“Wish me luck,” she mumbled before making her way back to her own till, mentally preparing herself for the return of the Karen as she took a slow stroll back.

Making it all the more surprising when she looked up to see Rosé there instead.

Oh.

Her fake smile turned real at the sight of her friend (if you could call someone you’d been in a drama group with for half a year and flirted with once at work a friend, Denali didn’t really know the right word for that one)

“Hey.” She felt herself turn red for no apparent reason as she took her seat again, too scared to make eye contact with the other girl just yet (crush. The word was crush).

“Hi,” Rosé spoke quietly, but not in the sexy whispering way she had when she’d asked Denali to teach her to skate. It was…a wince almost?

Denali looked up to see her face properly.

Oh.

“Did my stepmother come in here and shout at you about the gift card you gave me?” She spoke straight to the point, taking Denali off-guard.

“Potentially.” Denali scrunched her face up with second-hand embarrassment, her life was now an episode of a sitcom. And not just any old episode, no, this one was the type that got mentioned in Buzzfeed articles listing the cringiest moments on the small screen.

She had to go tell Mik to shut the fuck up about killing off boomers immediately! Any one of those could be the Grandad of the hot guy they always see at the Caribbean place on a Friday night. You never knew just who could be related to your crushes these days (Denali probably should have known).

“Look I’m really, really sorry. I did tell her she couldn’t use it until Boxing Day but she obviously doesn’t care, I didn’t think she’d come in here and talk to you like shit.”

“It’s fine honestly.” Denali tried to brush her off, knowing fine well that Rosé would be able to see through her terrible acting (if only there was a way to lie through the power of roller skating, she’d have been sorted).

“So, she did speak to you like shit then?” Rosé started shaking her head and Denali immediately began to understand why girls in teen dramas liked it when boys punched each other for them.

Protective Rosé was somehow even hotter than normal Rosé.

Not that she’d have ever described anything about Rosé as normal.

“I mean she did ask me what type of training I’d had when I got hired here. And if it was normal for them to hire people of ‘my mental calibre’”.

“I am so fucking sorry.” Rosé grabbed a pen and paper from her bag and began to scribble. “I’m giving you my number so you can call me if she ever comes in here and tries to terrorize you again, I’m so embarrassed.”

“It’s fine honestly. It’s taken some time out of my day at least.” Denali pointed to the clock on the wall.

“You finished soon?” Rosé raised a brow.

“I will be once I put all this shit back.” Denali let out a laugh at the conveyor full of trinkets.

“You got plans?”

‘Yes, I’m going to McDonald’s with Mik. In fact, it’s all I’ve thought about since I got here today.’ Is what Denali should have said.

Instead, she shook her head.

She’d buy Mik a McFlurry tomorrow.

“Good cause I’m taking you out to say sorry for this. She’ll fucking hate it.”

“You always take out girls just piss off your step-mam?” Denali asked, wondering where on earth Rosé and her mayonnaise-loving palette would be planning on taking her exactly (as if she wouldn’t have eaten a literal school dinner if it was going to be with Rosé).

“Don’t get it twisted, baby. I’m asking you out because you’re hot and you’re one of the only people in this town I’ve managed to find with a half-decent sense of humour. Pissing her off is just a bonus.”

Denali was too stunned to speak.

“Shoot me down if you want.” Rosé held up both her hands. “But if you’re up for it I can come pick you up later?”

“Yes,” Denali choked out. Clearly, she’d spent far too long worrying about what would happen if Rosé McCorkell came into her work and tore her eyes out that the thought of losing her tongue never even occurred to her. “I’ll text you.”

“Perfect.” Rosé sang the word before leaving the shop, Denali practically dancing as she started putting all the items in a basket ready to put back where they belonged.

Because she had a date with Rosé.

Terrifying Rosé who she’d fancied from the moment she saw her.

She had a date with unreal Rosé and all she had to do to get it was be abused by a customer. Like that didn’t happen every other day anyway?.

She’d just been paid to be asked on a date by the Rosé and couldn’t even think of a more perfect gift to ask for that Christmas.

Absolutely nothing could kill her stride right then.

“Excuse me.” A familiar voice stopped her manic basket packing-dance session. “Sorry to disturb you but I was in here yesterday and you put aside a nutcracker for me, I forgot my purse but I’m back now. Purse at the ready!”

“Yeah, I gave it to my colleague to give to you, like twenty minutes ago?” Denali smiled at the girl and continued to grab the things from the conveyor.

“Oh no, I’ve just gotten here,” the girl replied. “I came straight to you.”

Fuck.

Denali made a silent prayer to God they’d at least wait 'til the new year for her customer service meeting this time before turning back to the girl.

***

“I cannot believe you ate those nachos. They were the literal one thing I had going for me with this present.”

“How was I supposed to know?” Lemon propped her feet onto Scarlet’s dashboard and started stretching. “You can’t just leave a bag of nachos with an array of dips lying around and expect me not to tuck in.”

“They were in a gift-wrapped bag in my wardrobe! How on earth is that lying around?”

Scarlet waited until she hit the next red light and yanked her sister’s feet down, the temptation to chuck her out of the car there and make her walk the rest of the way to dance class burning through her body like the half-eaten tub of Hot Salsa she’d found on her floor upon returning home that day.

“You can buy some more, surely?”

Lemon was right of course, unaware that Scarlet had already been planning to get them from the shop and make her late on purpose as a form of retribution, but it didn’t make her any less annoyed.

She didn’t want to buy Yvie anything she could have just grabbed from the shop on the way, she wanted to get her something that meant something. Something that told her something.

Well, something that told her something other than ‘I remembered you like nachos’.

Even if there was an extremely high chance she’d have thrown that something in the bin as soon as she’d gotten home.

“Right, I’m pulling up next to the Co-op. You can run in and get me exactly what you ate.” Scarlet made a swift turn and ignored the beeping sounds that came from behind her.

You’d have thought the amount of time she’d spent ferrying people around would have made her a better driver but she could have sworn it made her worse; she was always either too annoyed at Lemon to focus on the road or too busy singing along to the car radio with her to remember she was even in charge of a vehicle. And, well, Yvie was Yvie.

Scarlet seemed to forget how to do even the most basic of things trying to impress Yvie, somehow always making the other girl dislike her more in the process.

“Can I have your card?”

“You’re joking, aren’t you?” Scarlet turned to her sister and gasped as though she’d just been slapped across the face with her own fluffy slider (an apt comparison considering this was something Lemon had actually done to her on multiple occasions). “You can get me a Coke Zero too. And a Fanta for Yvie.”

It didn’t take long for Lemon to return, chucking the stuff for Yvie in the back of the car then hopping back in next to Scarlet.

“I thought this girl was mean to you anyway, why are you so bothered about getting her a good present?”

“Because I picked her name out. I’m obviously gonna want to get her a good present, I’d be embarrassed if I didn’t.” Scarlet lied. “And besides it's only nachos, it’s not like it’s anything crazy.”

“I’m pretty sure I also saw a CD and a pair of earrings and a card in there too…” Lemon’s eyes gazed down at the bottle of Coke.

Every day that girl was becoming more and more like Scarlet and every day she feared it.

“You can have a sip. One sip and that’s all. I won’t be having Dad saying I fill you with crap before dancing again.”

Lemon opened the bottle and changed the subject, chatting about her latest school drama the rest of the way instead. Like Scarlet, she had a knack for pressing things that other people wanted to drop.

The only thing different was that this was Scarlet’s car and she bore no risk of being thrown out of it.

In fact, she struggled to get out once she made it to the Centre, sitting at the wheel for about five minutes before plucking up the courage to grab her gift and go in.

At least she didn’t have to worry about who had chosen her, having overheard the other girls chatting on the walkie talkies a few weeks ago and working out pretty quickly that Jaida had picked her name.

She just wished that whatever Jaida had bought her wouldn’t be ten times better than what she had for Yvie.

“Hey!” Heidi pulled her into a hug once she sat down with everyone. “You want a drink? Pri’s got a bottle of voddy with her, wants to be a bit tipsy once we give out the presents, yano?”

By the sounds of it, Heidi already was, but Scarlet wasn’t one to pass judgement.

“Don’t tell her that!” Priyanka smacked her friend on the arm before turning back to Scarlet. “Sorry Scarlet, I just don’t really want your Dad to think I just bring bottles of vodka to work on the daily even if this is meant to be a party. You can have some if you want though?”

“It’s fine, I won’t say anything. Also, I’m driving so I can’t anyway.”

“Not even one?” Jaida asked. “You’ll be fine after one.”

“Yeah, you can have one!” Heidi chorused.

“Honestly, I’m fine.”

Scarlet knew she’d be fine but felt sick at the thought of it touching her insides, her tummy already turning thanks to the whole Secret Santa thing. She tried to think of what her friends would have said, told her she was being dramatic and that it didn’t matter if it wasn’t the perfect gift because Yvie would be stupid if she didn’t like it anyways.

They’d probably also call her fucking insane for being so upset about losing out on a gift she knew Yvie hated. That it was definitely a much more normal thing to give someone a gift you had some idea they’d like.

But she and Yvie weren’t normal friends.

“Mate, she struggles to drive when she’s sober, you don’t want her getting in the car after a glass of that shit.”

Scarlet hadn’t even noticed Yvie was behind her until she’d said it, watching as the other girl greeted the rest of their friends before turning to Scarlet and giving her a nod.

If anyone else had said it she’d be upset with them, pull them aside and tell them off for making such a rude comment about her but things were different with Yvie, she spoke a secret language Scarlet hadn’t heard from anyone else before; words exchanged in the back of the cafe next to the panini machines, over the centre console of her car, the coffee shop next to Scarlet’s old school and the spot by the river they’d walked to when they shared a lunch break and decided they deserved some fresh air.

Either that or Scarlet was crazy.

That or Yvie was just being rude about her driving.

Maybe Yvie didn’t say it just so that the girls wouldn’t pressure Scarlet to drink when she didn’t want to.

Maybe she was just ungrateful for all the lifts.

But Scarlet wasn’t crazy and she wasn’t dumb.

Yeah, she was a bit ditzy and got scared by loud noises and the dark and serial killer those documentaries Naomi was always putting on. But she wasn’t dumb.

She could see the way Yvie looked at her even when she did leave her glasses in the glove compartment of her car.

Something in her eyes would sing a harmony just a touch higher than the main chords of her words, the type you can’t hear properly until you pull the song apart bit by bit, quiet and subtle but still there. And Scarlet didn’t need to pull it apart just yet. Not when she could hear the melodies just fine on her own.

She’d be happy so long as it just kept playing.

“You excited to give your present?” Yvie gestured to the bag in Scarlet’s hand, letting the rest of the group get lost in pouring their drinks.

“A little,” Scarlet replied, wondering if Yvie had managed to figure out she’d picked her name out in the end.

“Yeah, well I was wondering if you could take a look at mine, actually?”

“I thought you said there was something deeply wrong with my taste level.”

“Oh, there is.” Yvie laughed as she guided her into the cafe, stopping at the front counter. “There's just also something deeply wrong with the taste level of the person I have for Secret Santa, so I figured you’d be a good person to ask.”

“Don’t be so mean about Heidi!”

“I don’t have Heidi.” Yvie motioned to the fridge at the bottom of the counter, the one they would shove the milk jugs in when they were still in the middle of using them and couldn’t be bothered to wash them out just yet (well, Scarlet did this, she wasn’t exactly sure anyone else did too).

Only there wasn’t any milk in there when she bent down to open it.

Just the most perfect gift she could have given.

One so good she’d even have given it herself.

“I didn’t know if you’d even remember but you were really enthralled by that thing when we were in the Range the other week. And I just didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone cause I thought they’d think I was a fucking lunatic for buying you something so weird and terrifying so I thought I’d just do it now. Plus, I kept feeling like it was staring at me which is why I had to shut it in the fridge, it’s been here for like three days. I mean, even the girl in the shop looked at me like I was insane when she sold it to me. I had to ask them to get that thing from the back too. I’ve got the receipt if you don’t like it though, you could swap it for some of those candles they’ve got, the orangey ones? I know you like them.”

“No, I do.” Scarlet stood up straight and turned to face Yvie again, pulling the nutcracker close to her chest. “I really, really like it.”

“Yeah?”

“No, yeah, I do. Thanks, Yves. I really do, I love it.”

To describe working in retail during the build-up to Christmas as a nightmare was an understatement. If Denali had to put it into words, she’d say it was more of a simulated reality, a fucked-up episode of Black Mirror where everyone in radius seemed to lose all concepts of human decency and she was the only person left with the power to harness common sense and rational thought.

Just last week she had to explain to a lady why a voucher for a completely different shop wouldn’t work at the till last week, culminating in a team meeting where she was forced to apologise for “rolling her eyes like a fruit machine at the customers” because, of course, they’re always right.

Of course, it wasn’t always too bad, there were nights like Wednesday when the mothers of the town were too busy waiting for their kid to say a line in the nativity to get into fights about three-draw storage units and the store would find its own lull, leaving Denali free to hide in the lamp aisle (her favourite one, shortly preceded by the one with all the fake flowers).

A few people her own age would stumble in, grabbing some frozen sausage rolls from the Iceland section and browsing all the stationary before getting on their way. A trip to the retail park and big Tesco was a big deal when you’re a student in essay season so Denali was never too surprised to see them on those kinds of nights.

Yet somehow, she found herself completely and utterly gobsmacked at the sight of Rosé McCorkell coming down the escalator basket in hand, her carnation pink curls spilling out of her scrunchie to catch Denali’s eye right away.

Denali had read about carnations in a mythology book her Nana had bought her one birthday. The Goddess Diana fancied a young shepherd boy who rejected her so she ripped out his eyes and threw them into the soil, sprouting into the carnation. She couldn’t really imagine liking someone enough that she’d want to rip their eyes straight from the head if they rejected her but then again, she also never understood why the dumb shepherd boy rejected the literal goddess of hunting in the first place.

It was safe to say Denali had always had a thing for absolutely terrifying women.

Not that Rosé seemed the type of person to rip people’s eyes out or anything but Denali had tried out against her for the role of Fanny Brice in their musical theatre group and she’d still not properly recovered (she’d never imagined a rendition of Don’t Rain on My Parade could be scary or sexy yet somehow it was both? And if she was being honest, she hadn’t known whether to cry or say hello to the heel of her foot when she’d gotten home that night).

Pretty soon she made her way towards the checkouts and Denali wondered why on earth she'd left the house wearing a little tartan skirt considering it was snowing outside and the colours clashed with just about everything else she had on. Despite spending around ten weeks awed by Rosé’s talent and beauty, Denali drew the line at the girl’s taste level - a big, black line that painted over all the mismatching patterns and unnecessary ruffles that burned her retinas more and more every rehearsal.

And this was coming from someone who’d spent twenty years watching ice skating competitions.

Not that she minded too much that day, the sight of Rosé’s long legs striding over making her own almost too weak to hold her weight.

Maybe she did need her eyes tearing out after all.

“Hey.” She popped her things down on the conveyor: two packs of laminating sheets, a pink notebook with a matching pen, a box of Turkish delight and the biggest bottle of Heinz low-calorie mayonnaise Denali had ever seen in her life (very random, Denali thought to herself. But also very Rosé). “You’re a Rollerskate Rag, right?”

Denali dropped the notebook and watched it slide all the way down to the bottom of the bagging area.

Rosé McCorkell knew who she was.

“Yeah, I, erm, tried out for a proper part but don’t think my acting’s quite there yet.”

“Oh, baby, don’t say that. I’ve seen you skating and you’re there for a reason. I reckon I could use some lessons from you before opening night if I’m being honest.”

Rosé McCorkell had noticed her.

Rosé McCorkell wanted roller-skating lessons from her.

Rosé McCorkell called her baby?

“I dunno, I'm pretty sure the whole point is that you’re meant to be bad. So long as you don’t fall off stage and flatten a member of the audience, I think you’ve done your job.”

It was then that Denali realised it wouldn’t make the tiniest of differences to her situation if her eyes were ripped out [after all]

Because she’d made Rosé laugh, a big hearty laugh that sounded like it came from a middle-aged man yet fell out of her lips so naturally. Of course, she’d miss the smile that came along with it, the chip in Rosé’s front tooth she’d never been able to spot in the studio or on her Instagram posts, a sneaky glimpse at the perfectionist’s imperfection that only lived for Denali there at that moment, something suddenly quite special about the bright white lights of the store and the royalty-free Christmas covers that played around them. But she could do that, survive without her sight so long as she could still hear Rosé’s stupid husky laugh (she knew this was quite a dramatic statement to be making, even if only in her head, but Denali figured anything that made the Glee version of Last Christmas feel like the pinnacle of romance ought to be powerful enough to allow for altering of the senses).

“Well, we’ll just have to make sure there's a few empty spaces in that front row just in case then. A big sign telling everyone to mind their heads for falling theatre kids.”

Rosé began popping her things into her tote, immediately making Denali regret how efficient she was at finding barcodes. In fact, watching Rosé packing ready to leave suddenly made the months she and Mik had spent competing to see who could scan quicker after watching the staff at Lidl absolutely outdo the pair of them feel like the dumbest waste of time in the history of retail jobs.

And she’d once spent an entire three afternoons trying to properly distribute the fluff in every cushion.

“Here.” Denali stopped her just as she went to say bye, rummaging through her drawer for one of the gift cards she was supposed to be saving for the post-Christmas sales. “Take one of these for the next time you need a giant bottle of mayonnaise. It only activates on Boxing Day though so you’ll have to make sure that one lasts you ‘til then.”

“Thanks, baby.” Rosé took the gift card from her hand, catching Denali’s eye for a second or two too long before turning to leave. “I’ll see you around.”

Denali waited until she was fully out of the shop to let out a breath, smiling to herself like an idiot for the entire rest of her shift, unaware of who or what was even around her because the only thing her eyes could see was Rosé.

***

“Look I’m really sorry I’ve forgotten my purse but I do want to come back tomorrow to buy this and it's the last one, is there any chance you could keep it in the back for me to make sure no one takes it? It’s like super important.”

Scarlet knew what she was going to buy for Yvie the second she pulled the name out of the hat.

She’d known before she picked her name too, having run through ideas for what she’d get each member of staff depending on whether or not she was their Secret Santa: a magic eight ball for Priyanka or perhaps some old Spice Girls merch, a nice pair of dangly earrings for Jaida and the biggest bottle of jager she could find if she picked Heidi, provided, of course, that she only consumed it when she didn’t have a shift the next day (Scarlet did not fancy a repeat of the “why is there brown rice in the sink?” saga from Halloween).

The possibilities were endless.

Yet still, only one thing had come to mind when she thought about what to buy her closest friend and worst enemy at the Centre (well, two things, but she figured she couldn’t buy a new soul at the retail park down the road and didn’t really fancy driving out of town to find one).

The fucking nutcracker.

Or as Yvie had kindly referred to it on the previous week's shopping trip, “Satan in wood form.”

“I think it’s quite cute.” Scarlet looked at the nutcracker then back at Yvie.

“I’m sorry, you what?” Yvie spoke with the passion of great poets. Tennyson’s charge and Dunbar’s tragedy and Angelou’s ocean all there in her pure hatred for the trinket. She was crazy as fuck sometimes but that’s what Scarlet had grown to really like about hanging out with her; Yvie threw her entire being into their points of contention like she was fighting for her life and Scarlet wanted nothing more than to take its weight.

And poking just that little bit of it back.

“I said I think it’s cute. Me and Lemon watch Barbie in the Nutcracker like every week - it's just like the one from that, see, Yves?”

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you, at the ripe age of eighteen, just admitted to watching Barbie in the Nutcracker every week with your sister because you clearly have something wrong with your level of taste if you think this piece of tat is anything near cute. I honestly think they should fire whoever even designed this. And you want to put it in the Centre?” Her eyebrows danced up and down as she spoke and Scarlet fought every bone in her lower face not to crack a smile. “Oh, hey guys, you know that fifty quid we had to spend on Christmas decorations. Well, we didn’t actually get anything to put on the counters. Or any lights to wrap around the trampoline railings. Didn’t get any fake snow either, sorry - Scarlet spent the majority of it on a crystalised nutcracker we found in the “Last Chance to Buy Bin” at the Range because apparently children aren’t getting enough nightmares from her safety talks and we thought we really ought to do something to change that this festive period.”

Scarlet put her hands over the nutcracker’s head and gasped, covering its eyes and non-existent ears from Yvie’s heinous words.

“Well, I think it’d be money well spent.”

“And that’s exactly why they made you bring me with you to do this.”

No one had made her, of course. Just like no one made her drive Yvie home after every shift, taking the long way around the river cause Yvie said the bridge by hers can get really icy this time of year, stopping for a bag of chips and batter if either of their stomachs made a noise or a hot chocolate if Scarlet so much as heard Yvie shiver.

But it was easier that way.

To pretend their time together was happenchance.

That they were forced to spend so much time side by side that they had started to breathe in the same beat.

“I have incredible taste and you know it.” Scarlet reluctantly put the nutcracker back into the bin, tapping a goodbye on its chest and pulling a pout towards Yvie.

“Barbie in the Nutcracker?”

“Every week was an exaggeration, it’s more of a monthly thing if I’m honest with you. We only watch the Twelve Dancing Princesses every week.”

“It’s that fact I know you’re not even joking.” Yvie shook her head, flipping the nutcracker around on its front before shuddering and making her way down the next aisle, Scarlet following her footsteps like they were the only ones visible in a big field of snow.

Of course, the girl looked at her like she was crazy when she brought it over, probably wondering why she would buy it in the first place, never mind why she wanted to have it stored in the back for her like an expensive piece of jewellery at auction.

“If not, I can come back tonight. I just don’t think I can make it in time.”

A half-lie, really. The shop didn’t close for another few hours so Scarlet had plenty of time to drive to Plastique’s, grab her purse and come back to claim her perfect gift. Only the centre closed in thirty minutes, which meant someone else would be waiting at the bus stop in thirty-five if Scarlet didn’t turn up for “last-minute rush” cover that she’d pretend her dad sent her for and wouldn’t even bother to write on her timesheet.

“I’ll put it in the back for you.” The girl took the nutcracker with care, smiling at Scarlet in that painstakingly familiar way that said ‘customer service at Christmas is just the best place to be in the world and I understand now why Santa’s elves are so happy only ever seeing each other.’

“Thank you so much, you’re honestly an angel.”

Scarlet walked out of the store with her feet slightly above the ground, knowing that, despite not faring so well in the overall war, Team Scarlet was about to change the course of history with her triumph in the Battle of the Nutcracker.

And she’d get to see Yvie’s face live and in colour in just one week as it happened.

***

When Mik had texted Denali at ten-thirty saying ‘girl this place is hell today just warning you. i would be faking some sort of illness before you start if i were you xxx’ (shortly followed by a second message telling her to ignore that and not to fake an illness or else he’d be the only sane member of staff there and wanted someone to get a Maccy’s with at the end of their shifts), she hadn’t really started with a whole load of optimism, pretty much knowing things were going to go wrong from the get-go.

Which they did, of course. But none of it really bothered her until the afternoon. A man let his dog piss in the DIY aisle? She was too busy helping an old lady carry her bags to the car in the name of excellent customer service so Kandy would have to do it instead. The fire alarm went off after Tina from HR burnt her toast in the staff room? All Denali could see was an extra half an hour added to her lunch break.

Actually, she was having a pretty good day until it happened.

Because even the promise of a post-work McDonald’s didn’t make an interaction with a Karen any more worth it.

She’d been quite lucky on the Karen front, hadn’t had any in a while actually - though she did speak to a girl a tad younger than her the night before who she could see being a bit of future Karen, not the crazy ‘I want to speak to the manager and get you fired’ type but certainly the ‘I might just nip behind the till and grab my own drink if no one is here to get it for me’ type. This Karen though? This one was beyond both. She was ready to reach into the till with her French manicured tips and grab Denali’s wages herself.

“Look, it says it right there on the back, these gift cards are only valid from the 26th December to the 31st January. Someone has just given it to you early so you can come in and spend it as soon as the deal starts. They will have explained that to you.” She pointed to the fine print on the back, knowing fine well Mik would be paying for her fucking McChicken for giving out so many of the stupid gift cards that week.

“Exactly, it’s not even January yet so it must be valid.” The woman exclaimed like this was a game of poker and she’d just played her ace. When Denali, and every single other person on the planet with an ounce of common sense (besides maybe her manager), would be able to see it was only a two.

“Yes, but it’s not December 26th yet either.” Denali pointed to the back of the card, trying her best to come off as patient when she wanted to turn into Tiffany Pollard’s mom and ask her what, in God’s name, was not clicking.

“So how do you expect me to pay for all this stuff, I mean, I’ve spent my personal time picking all this out?”

And I’ve spent mine scanning it, Denali replied in her head, a set of fully gritted teeth hidden behind her lippy smile.

“Look I can pop it all back for you if you want or you can get it now, it’s just you can’t use that gift card on anything until after Christmas.”

Denali had already explained this, the woman telling her that she needed this stuff before Christmas and it would be useless after but she had no other path to go down at that point, ready for the conversation to take up the entire rest of her shift and perhaps even overtime.

Heck, the way this woman was going the 24-hour McDonald's would have found a way to close by the time Denali got away.

“My daughter gave me this, you know. I’m gonna go outside and call her so she can come down here and sort this out.”

“If you must.” With that the woman scuttled away, practically attacking the air with her Radley as she did, leaving Denali to temporarily close her till with all the crap on it and move everyone waiting over to Mik’s.

Perhaps she wouldn’t get that free McChicken after all.

“I’m sorry.” She went over to help at Mik’s counter, eyeing the door cautiously for the woman’s return.

“It’s not your fault gorge. Honestly, can’t wait for all these boomers to die out so we can just live life in harmony.”

Denali looked up at the guy packing his bag and tried her best not to laugh: “He’s kidding.”

He wasn’t.

“I think she’ll stay here until Boxing Day at this rate, you’ll have to make yourself a Christmas dinner from all the frozen stuff and eat it while she stares you down.”

“No way would I miss my Mama’s cooking for that piece of-” Denali stopped herself before swearing in front of the customer, the sight of Kandy coming over bringing flashbacks to the customer service meetings of Christmas past that she didn’t fancy repeating (not that ‘I can’t wait for all these boomers to die’ wasn’t already enough to land them in one).

“Hey girls, do either of you know if we have any nutcrackers? Some ugly ass rhinestoned thing we had in earlier?”

Denali immediately regretted calling the girl from the night before a future Karen; she had manners and a smile and Denali would do anything to go back and serve her instead of Mrs I Don’t Know How to Work a Calendar.

“It’s in the stock room next to the party decorations,” Denali shouted over, about to tell Kandy she’d run and get it until she heard the automatic doors sliding open and knew she wouldn’t have a chance.

“Wish me luck,” she mumbled before making her way back to her own till, mentally preparing herself for the return of the Karen as she took a slow stroll back.

Making it all the more surprising when she looked up to see Rosé there instead.

Oh.

Her fake smile turned real at the sight of her friend (if you could call someone you’d been in a drama group with for half a year and flirted with once at work a friend, Denali didn’t really know the right word for that one)

“Hey.” She felt herself turn red for no apparent reason as she took her seat again, too scared to make eye contact with the other girl just yet (crush. The word was crush).

“Hi,” Rosé spoke quietly, but not in the sexy whispering way she had when she’d asked Denali to teach her to skate. It was…a wince almost?

Denali looked up to see her face properly.

Oh.

“Did my stepmother come in here and shout at you about the gift card you gave me?” She spoke straight to the point, taking Denali off-guard.

“Potentially.” Denali scrunched her face up with second-hand embarrassment, her life was now an episode of a sitcom. And not just any old episode, no, this one was the type that got mentioned in Buzzfeed articles listing the cringiest moments on the small screen.

She had to go tell Mik to shut the fuck up about killing off boomers immediately! Any one of those could be the Grandad of the hot guy they always see at the Caribbean place on a Friday night. You never knew just who could be related to your crushes these days (Denali probably should have known).

“Look I’m really, really sorry. I did tell her she couldn’t use it until Boxing Day but she obviously doesn’t care, I didn’t think she’d come in here and talk to you like shit.”

“It’s fine honestly.” Denali tried to brush her off, knowing fine well that Rosé would be able to see through her terrible acting (if only there was a way to lie through the power of roller skating, she’d have been sorted).

“So, she did speak to you like shit then?” Rosé started shaking her head and Denali immediately began to understand why girls in teen dramas liked it when boys punched each other for them.

Protective Rosé was somehow even hotter than normal Rosé.

Not that she’d have ever described anything about Rosé as normal.

“I mean she did ask me what type of training I’d had when I got hired here. And if it was normal for them to hire people of ‘my mental calibre’”.

“I am so fucking sorry.” Rosé grabbed a pen and paper from her bag and began to scribble. “I’m giving you my number so you can call me if she ever comes in here and tries to terrorize you again, I’m so embarrassed.”

“It’s fine honestly. It’s taken some time out of my day at least.” Denali pointed to the clock on the wall.

“You finished soon?” Rosé raised a brow.

“I will be once I put all this shit back.” Denali let out a laugh at the conveyor full of trinkets.

“You got plans?”

‘Yes, I’m going to McDonald’s with Mik. In fact, it’s all I’ve thought about since I got here today.’ Is what Denali should have said.

Instead, she shook her head.

She’d buy Mik a McFlurry tomorrow.

“Good cause I’m taking you out to say sorry for this. She’ll fucking hate it.”

“You always take out girls just piss off your step-mam?” Denali asked, wondering where on earth Rosé and her mayonnaise-loving palette would be planning on taking her exactly (as if she wouldn’t have eaten a literal school dinner if it was going to be with Rosé).

“Don’t get it twisted, baby. I’m asking you out because you’re hot and you’re one of the only people in this town I’ve managed to find with a half-decent sense of humour. Pissing her off is just a bonus.”

Denali was too stunned to speak.

“Shoot me down if you want.” Rosé held up both her hands. “But if you’re up for it I can come pick you up later?”

“Yes,” Denali choked out. Clearly, she’d spent far too long worrying about what would happen if Rosé McCorkell came into her work and tore her eyes out that the thought of losing her tongue never even occurred to her. “I’ll text you.”

“Perfect.” Rosé sang the word before leaving the shop, Denali practically dancing as she started putting all the items in a basket ready to put back where they belonged.

Because she had a date with Rosé.

Terrifying Rosé who she’d fancied from the moment she saw her.

She had a date with unreal Rosé and all she had to do to get it was be abused by a customer. Like that didn’t happen every other day anyway?.

She’d just been paid to be asked on a date by the Rosé and couldn’t even think of a more perfect gift to ask for that Christmas.

Absolutely nothing could kill her stride right then.

“Excuse me.” A familiar voice stopped her manic basket packing-dance session. “Sorry to disturb you but I was in here yesterday and you put aside a nutcracker for me, I forgot my purse but I’m back now. Purse at the ready!”

“Yeah, I gave it to my colleague to give to you, like twenty minutes ago?” Denali smiled at the girl and continued to grab the things from the conveyor.

“Oh no, I’ve just gotten here,” the girl replied. “I came straight to you.”

Fuck.

Denali made a silent prayer to God they’d at least wait 'til the new year for her customer service meeting this time before turning back to the girl.

***

“I cannot believe you ate those nachos. They were the literal one thing I had going for me with this present.”

“How was I supposed to know?” Lemon propped her feet onto Scarlet’s dashboard and started stretching. “You can’t just leave a bag of nachos with an array of dips lying around and expect me not to tuck in.”

“They were in a gift-wrapped bag in my wardrobe! How on earth is that lying around?”

Scarlet waited until she hit the next red light and yanked her sister’s feet down, the temptation to chuck her out of the car there and make her walk the rest of the way to dance class burning through her body like the half-eaten tub of Hot Salsa she’d found on her floor upon returning home that day.

“You can buy some more, surely?”

Lemon was right of course, unaware that Scarlet had already been planning to get them from the shop and make her late on purpose as a form of retribution, but it didn’t make her any less annoyed.

She didn’t want to buy Yvie anything she could have just grabbed from the shop on the way, she wanted to get her something that meant something. Something that told her something.

Well, something that told her something other than ‘I remembered you like nachos’.

Even if there was an extremely high chance she’d have thrown that something in the bin as soon as she’d gotten home.

“Right, I’m pulling up next to the Co-op. You can run in and get me exactly what you ate.” Scarlet made a swift turn and ignored the beeping sounds that came from behind her.

You’d have thought the amount of time she’d spent ferrying people around would have made her a better driver but she could have sworn it made her worse; she was always either too annoyed at Lemon to focus on the road or too busy singing along to the car radio with her to remember she was even in charge of a vehicle. And, well, Yvie was Yvie.

Scarlet seemed to forget how to do even the most basic of things trying to impress Yvie, somehow always making the other girl dislike her more in the process.

“Can I have your card?”

“You’re joking, aren’t you?” Scarlet turned to her sister and gasped as though she’d just been slapped across the face with her own fluffy slider (an apt comparison considering this was something Lemon had actually done to her on multiple occasions). “You can get me a Coke Zero too. And a Fanta for Yvie.”

It didn’t take long for Lemon to return, chucking the stuff for Yvie in the back of the car then hopping back in next to Scarlet.

“I thought this girl was mean to you anyway, why are you so bothered about getting her a good present?”

“Because I picked her name out. I’m obviously gonna want to get her a good present, I’d be embarrassed if I didn’t.” Scarlet lied. “And besides it's only nachos, it’s not like it’s anything crazy.”

“I’m pretty sure I also saw a CD and a pair of earrings and a card in there too…” Lemon’s eyes gazed down at the bottle of Coke.

Every day that girl was becoming more and more like Scarlet and every day she feared it.

“You can have a sip. One sip and that’s all. I won’t be having Dad saying I fill you with crap before dancing again.”

Lemon opened the bottle and changed the subject, chatting about her latest school drama the rest of the way instead. Like Scarlet, she had a knack for pressing things that other people wanted to drop.

The only thing different was that this was Scarlet’s car and she bore no risk of being thrown out of it.

In fact, she struggled to get out once she made it to the Centre, sitting at the wheel for about five minutes before plucking up the courage to grab her gift and go in.

At least she didn’t have to worry about who had chosen her, having overheard the other girls chatting on the walkie talkies a few weeks ago and working out pretty quickly that Jaida had picked her name.

She just wished that whatever Jaida had bought her wouldn’t be ten times better than what she had for Yvie.

“Hey!” Heidi pulled her into a hug once she sat down with everyone. “You want a drink? Pri’s got a bottle of voddy with her, wants to be a bit tipsy once we give out the presents, yano?”

By the sounds of it, Heidi already was, but Scarlet wasn’t one to pass judgement.

“Don’t tell her that!” Priyanka smacked her friend on the arm before turning back to Scarlet. “Sorry Scarlet, I just don’t really want your Dad to think I just bring bottles of vodka to work on the daily even if this is meant to be a party. You can have some if you want though?”

“It’s fine, I won’t say anything. Also, I’m driving so I can’t anyway.”

“Not even one?” Jaida asked. “You’ll be fine after one.”

“Yeah, you can have one!” Heidi chorused.

“Honestly, I’m fine.”

Scarlet knew she’d be fine but felt sick at the thought of it touching her insides, her tummy already turning thanks to the whole secret Santa thing. She tried to think of what her friends would have said, told her she was being dramatic and that it didn’t matter if it wasn’t the perfect gift because Yvie would be stupid if she didn’t like it anyways.

They’d probably also call her fucking insane for being so upset about losing out on a gift she knew Yvie hated. That it was definitely a much more normal thing to give someone a gift you had some idea they’d like.

But she and Yvie weren’t normal friends.

“Mate, she struggles to drive when she’s sober, you don’t want her getting in the car after a glass of that shit.”

Scarlet hadn’t even noticed Yvie was behind her until she’d said it, watching as the other girl greeted the rest of their friends before turning to Scarlet and giving her a nod.

If anyone else had said it she’d be upset with them, pull them aside and tell them off for making such a rude comment about her but things were different with Yvie, she spoke a secret language Scarlet hadn’t heard from anyone else before; words exchanged in the back of the cafe next to the panini machines, over the centre console of her car, the coffee shop next to Scarlet’s old school and the spot by the river they’d walked to when they shared a lunch break and decided they deserved some fresh air.

Either that or Scarlet was crazy.

That or Yvie was just being rude about her driving.

Maybe Yvie didn’t say it just so that the girls wouldn’t pressure Scarlet to drink when she didn’t want to.

Maybe she was just ungrateful for all the lifts.

But Scarlet wasn’t crazy and she wasn’t dumb.

Yeah, she was a bit ditzy and got scared by loud noises and the dark and serial killer those documentaries Naomi was always putting on. But she wasn’t dumb.

She could see the way Yvie looked at her even when she did leave her glasses in the glove compartment of her car.

Something in her eyes would sing a harmony just a touch higher than the main chords of her words, the type you can’t hear properly until you pull the song apart bit by bit, quiet and subtle but still there. And Scarlet didn’t need to pull it apart just yet. Not when she could hear the melodies just fine on her own.

She’d be happy so long as it just kept playing.

“You excited to give your present?” Yvie gestured to the bag in Scarlet’s hand, letting the rest of the group get lost in pouring their drinks.

“A little,” Scarlet replied, wondering if Yvie had managed to figure out she’d picked her name out in the end.

“Yeah, well I was wondering if you could take a look at mine, actually?”

“I thought you said there was something deeply wrong with my taste level.”

“Oh, there is.” Yvie laughed as she guided her into the cafe, stopping at the front counter. “There's just also something deeply wrong with the taste level of the person I have for secret Santa, so I figured you’d be a good person to ask.”

“Don’t be so mean about Heidi!”

“I don’t have Heidi.” Yvie motioned to the fridge at the bottom of the counter, the one they would shove the milk jugs in when they were still in the middle of using them and couldn’t be bothered to wash them out just yet (well, Scarlet did this, she wasn’t exactly sure anyone else did too).

Only there wasn’t any milk in there when she bent down to open it.

Just the most perfect gift she could have given.

One so good she’d even have given it herself.

“I didn’t know if you’d even remember but you were really enthralled by that thing when we were in the Range the other week. And I just didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone cause I thought they’d think I was a fucking lunatic for buying you something so weird and terrifying so I thought I’d just do it now. Plus, I kept feeling like it was staring at me which is why I had to shut it in the fridge, it’s been here for like three days. I mean, even the girl in the shop looked at me like I was insane when she sold it to me. I had to ask them to get that thing from the back too. I’ve got the receipt if you don’t like it though, you could swap it for some of those candles they’ve got, the orangey ones? I know you like them.”

“No, I do.” Scarlet stood up straight and turned to face Yvie again, pulling the nutcracker close to her chest. “I really, really like it.”

“Yeah?”

“No, yeah, I do. Thanks, Yves. I really do, I love it.”

#rpdr fanfiction #scarlet envy #yvie oddly #denali foxx #rosé #scyvie #rosnali #lesbian au #got my number #fic challenge #holiday fic #ashley #s13 #s11 #concrit welcome #tw karens

[inclineto]

Books, May - June 2021

Tess of the Road - Rachel Hartman [dnf]

A River of Stars - Vanessa Hua

The Sealed Letter - Emma Donoghue

Giant Bones - Peter S. Beagle

Moominsummer Madness - Tove Jansson *

The Beacon at Alexandria - Gillian Bradshaw *

The Phantom Tollbooth - Norton Juster *

Libertie - Kaitlyn Greenidge 

Stay - Nicola Griffith

Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age - Annalee Newitz [Thoroughly enjoyable, but also the sort of pop archaeology book where things like this happen repeatedly, and I’m sorry, but I laughed: “And then, as if by magic, the eminent University of Cambridge archaeologist Andrew Wallace-Hadrill appeared.” (As far as the narrative admits, they did not have an appointment; while they were wandering around Pompeii, collecting information about his speciality, he was wandering around Pompeii, happy to be encountered and become a source.)]

Teach Me - Olivia Dade

The Address Book: What Street Addresses Reveal About Identity, Race, Wealth, and Power - Deirdre Mask

We Are Watching Eliza Bright - A.E. Osworth [“I am not going to read the gamergate novel,” I said, “and especially not when it’s using 1st person plural MFA POV half of the time,” but then I voyeuristically devoured the gamergate novel which is, really, its point: “We are obsessed with what goes on where we can’t see it.”] *

Ivory Apples - Lisa Goldstein [what the hell?!? no.]

The Future of Another Timeline - Annalee Newitz

The Scarlet Seed - Edith Pargeter [the scenes that made me cry as a child still make me cry now, and that’s rather nice]

The Perilous Life of Jade Yeo - Zen Cho [Five books later, I’m prepared to admit that Zen Cho and I aligned for one glorious novel and some related characters (Sorcerer to the Crown; Rollo & Aunt Georgiana), and I’m mostly indifferent to everything else, but I keep trying because there’s always a sentence like this: “Being good-looking and interesting and having the heavy-lidded gaze of a romantic tapir does not excuse writing a foolish book.”]

Elementals - A. S. Byatt

Searching for Black Confederates: The Civil War’s Most Persistent Myth - Kevin M. Levin

What Katy Did Next - Susan Coolidge

Feed the Resistance: Recipes + Ideas for Getting Involved - Julia Turshen et al.

A Duke, the Lady, and a Baby - Vanessa Riley [dnf]

The Sibyl in Her Grave - Sarah Caudwell

Sabriel - Garth Nix *

Outcrossing - Celia Lake [dnf]

Mending Matters: Stitch, Patch, and Repair Your Favorite Denim & More - Katrina Rodabaugh [so I feel like this was a couple of blog posts inflated into a book]

Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake - Alexis Hall [extremely funny, made me want to bake during a heat wave, likely to suffer in reviews from mismatched genre expectations: it’s romantic comedy, not romance (I’ve just looked and yep! this is a major complaint)] *

Tales from Moominvalley - Tove Jansson

Goblin Fruit - Celia Lake [dnf]

Coffee Boy - Austin Chant [trying to do more than its length and thin characterization can carry, but also heartening in the main character’s explicit refusal to embody a limited and patronizing narrative of marginalized suffering; I wouldn’t want every trans romance to do this so overtly, just as I don’t want every queer romance to be about overcoming homophobia, but I want a few of them to (fair also to note that in contemporary settings, I find boss/intern scenarios really unappealing, and no, I don’t care if they talk about it; had it been longer I would almost certainly have bailed)]

Uncanny Valley - Anna Wiener [didn’t really plan to read this; definitely didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did - I thought it would be just another new adult navel-gazing indictment of tech bros, and it is, but it’s got seriously good style to go with it] *

Lord John and the Private Matter - Diana Gabaldon

Behind Closed Doors: At Home in Georgian England - Amanda Vickery

On Juneteenth - Annette Gordon-Reed

Salt Magic, Skin Magic - Lee Welch

Lord John and the Hand of Devils - Diana Gabaldon [read the first two novellas, but my tolerance for Diana Gabaldon’s Diana-Gabaldon-ness is relatively low and the second novel wore it out; dnf]

Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade - Diana Gabaldon

A Seditious Affair - KJ Charles [because once you’re 75+ comments into an increasingly-involved modern AU, the only reasonable thing to do is give in (looking back at the innocence of this mid-June annotation...oh, you sweet summer child)] *

Four Hundred Souls: A Community History of African America 1619-2019 - edited by Ibram X. Kendi and Keisha N. Blain [in the end, I’m not sure the organizing principles of 5 year chunks and short word counts really allow enough scope for many of the essays, but look for this to show up on Most Challenged lists and as a target of reactionary legislation anyway]

A Gentleman’s Position - KJ Charles [see prev. entry in series]

The Secret Adversary - Agatha Christie [sometimes you should not reread your childhood books]

Fire Watch - Connie Willis

The Ruin of Gabriel Ashleigh - KJ Charles [possibly shouldn’t be an entry, but what the heck, it’s sold separately; see prev. entry in series]

The City of Brass - S. A. Chakraborty

American Quilts: The Democratic Art - Robert Shaw [that subtitle tells you exactly what to expect from the text, but the quilts are lovely]

Engaging Diverse Communities: A Guide to Museum Public Relations - Melissa A. Johnson

Strange the Dreamer - Laini Taylor [dnf]

#books 2021 #books practical and pleasurable #i repeat: #are surprise!sexuality reveals actually a surprise to straight people? sometimes i wonder #beginning and ending with failure: how human

[reading-is-a-miracle-queen]

PICTURES ARE NOT MINE  

Inspired by izzybellepenguin

Bruce Wayne was a man of morals, his morals being to NEVER KILL but he was a superhero and superheros had to compromise though the only time this has happened was with Darkseid. His family follows this rule alwell (except for Jason but he is doing better these days) even though it was after some relearning for his two youngest. Marinette and Damian, twins Damian was born 10 minutes before Mari, were raised to be cold hearted assassins Marinette more so as she was meant to be Damian’s guard.

He loves his family but sometimes they can be a bit much especially Mari. Like her First day of school home call…...

“Hi dad you know how you told me to not get involved with anything crazy well I kinda--Completely threw that out the window …………...HaHaHa”

“What did you do, and should I get aspirin before you tell me” I sigh

“To be fair it wasn’t my fault and probably yes… one of my classmates got mind controlled by a butterfly creep and turned into a stone monster. One of my other classmates and I  got jewelry powered by tiny gods to stop him and eventually the other monsters the butterfly dude is going to  make…..nevermind it already happened again and now it has got duplication powers … I am going to go stop it Bye dad”

“WHAT COME BACK TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY”

Or how you told us about the other miraculous

*Peaceful day all family members in the living room*

Blue portal opens in the living room outcomes

“Who the Fu🇨|< are you” Jason says pointing his gun at you as they rest of the family do so as well with their respective weapon well except Damian you probably already told him you were coming

“Don’t have time for your craziness Jay,” you said while walking over to damian and pulling him towards the portal “I need help Adrain’s down so your going to be Black cat for a day” we hear you say as you two disappear in the portal

Which prompley causes everyone to panic about Damian being kidnapped by an unknown magic user we race down to the batcave and try to find him, to which we have no success on that i was about to call Zatanna when another blue portal opens up and out comes you as LadyStallion and a tired Damian.

“Sorry we took so long it was a scarlet peacock” you say before detansforming and heading to the BatCave mini fridge with 3 floating creatures.

‘The rest of that day was complete chaos I thought remembering my migraine’

…….But I think Today tops the cake of your craziness

I was sitting in my home office when the door opens

“Good Morning” You said with a serious face and laughing adrian on the phone and the exasperated damian next to you

“Good morning” I reply hesitantly back ”did you need something”

“I wish to file a murder request” You say with utmost serious ness which causes adrien to burst out into anthor round of laughter and Damian to face palm

I reach over to my desk and take an aspirin. “You want to do what?” I ask to make sure I hearn right

“I wish to murder Jonathan Kent I have a 3 page essay on why it would help me a 8 page on why it would help the world a 2 page on how I would do it and a 2 page on how I would get away with it ” She reptiles again with utmost seriousness

“We don't kill and aren't you two friends” I ask still trying to grasp the situation

“We are and technically speaking I am saving the world by killing him” You answer

Damian then decides to interrupt “She has romantic interest towards kent and instead of admitting it and asking him out she has decided the best plan of action is to kill him”

“I never thought I see the day Bugaboo grew up and got a real crush of her own” Adrien says

Over the phone

You turn into a tomato and tense “I have no such romantic interest towards him but he is decreasing my productivity”

“No you freaking about asking him out is” Adrian says

“We do not kill but I will read it over in the minetime Alfred will be you best bet on romantic advice ” I reply

“I do not like him” You call out will Damian drags you out

(Marinette wants to be a fashion designer so she is going to school in paris Tom and Sabine are housing her and letting her use their last names as to not get unwanted attention for being a wayne she uses their Daughter {who is a college to be an author room} in this AU marinette never had a crush on Adrien Alya just thought she did because she did a double take when he walked into the room of the second day of school {she recognized him as Chat Noir} so she doesn't have all those pictures of him, she was there for party crasher because was investigating Gabriel (she thought he was hawkmoth) and used her crush as a cover when the girl squad asked about it. Mari still has her childishness because she is cool like that. Also she wears this)

Also I got Marinette’s horse miraculous design from

Hey Zoe do you have any designs for Marinette with... - Z.O.E. (tumblr.com)

#part1 #daminette #jonette #marijon #bio!dad bruce wayne #adrinette #hawkmoth #IDK #firstpost

[bybdolan]

Thought D. H. Lawrence was cool because he wrote Lady Chatterley's Lover, but the essay at the end of my edition of Scarlet Letter is. Something.

#Something = deeply misogynistic #'hester was an evil temptress who made the saintly dimmesdale fall as all women make men fall!!!' #Ok