#rowan whitethorn fanfiction

[noctumbra]

             D I S C L A I M E R 

✵ works listed below might contain explicit content. read at your own risk. no minors, please. make sure to read the warnings before you proceed with reading the fics. 

✵ this masterlist will include works from a court of thorns and roses series, throne of glass series and crescent city series ─ the whole sarah j. maas universe. it might contain spoilers from the books. 

✵ the works might be happening in the same universe as the books, or they might be written as alternate universe. i will specify it in the author’s note section. 

✵ the works i will be posting will include reader insert and book couples (such as feysand, rowaelin etc). 

✵ i do not have a tag list. you can turn on the notifications for @cuddlewrites​​ for fic updates only. 

             C H A R A C T E R S

✵ COMING SOON...

✵ COMING SOON...

✵ COMING SOON...

✵ LONG LIVE (ALL THE MAGIC WE MADE)

            ─ masterlist will be updated as i post the fics and/or add more characters ─

#azriel x reader #rhysand x reader #ruhn danaan x reader #azriel fanfiction #rhysand fanfiction #ruhn danaan fanfiction #acotar #cc #a court of thorns and roses #crescent city #masterlist #rowan whitethorn x reader #rowan whitethorn fanfiction

[danikamariewrites]

Heyy back with another ask bestie🤭 ok so how about a cadre g**g b**g where they are in a war camp with reader and lorcan comes up in there bickering with her which gets the attention of the other cadre and row row comes in like “ik what would shut her up”😈 (they are yummier than the bat boys i stand by that😤)

Cadre (SMUT)

Lorcan x Rowan x Fenrys x Gavriel x f!reader

A/n: hey bestie! I also may favor the cadre over the bat boys at times lol. This concept has me feral so I hope you enjoy this. I left out Connall and Vaughan bc they were so left out of the books so I don’t know their character at all.

Warnings: fivesum, praise kink, degradation, name calling, and some light choking

You pushed back the canvas of the tent, Lorcan on your heels, fuming that you once again didn’t listen. “You’ve got a serious issue, you know that?” You turned, smirking at him. “Lorcan, if I listened to you we’d be dead right now.” Steam practically came out of his ears at your tone.

Before he could start screaming you both spotted Gavriel and Fenrys watching you from their seats at the war table. Fenrys was wearing a feral smirk, nothing brought him joy like watching you and Lorcan spar with your words. Gavriel kept a neutral face. As he assessed the situation and was working through how to intervene should it get physical.

Opening your mouth to say something that would send Lorcan over the edge, Rowan came up behind you. He pressed his sculpted chest into your back. Rowan held your chin in his strong hand, tilting your head back to look up at him.

His long white hair creating a curtain so it felt like it was just you and him having in the room. You flashed him a sweet smile, “Hi Rowan.” You and Rowan had been having a casual fling for some time now. Sex with no strings attached, but whenever he was around it was like you were instantly relaxed.

Rowan smirked back at you, “Hello sweetness. Are you giving Lorcan attitude again?” You feign innocence, “Me? Never.” Rowan lets a hum that let you know he saw right through your bullshit. He looks to Lorcan, keeping your head tilted against his chest, “I think I know how to make her behave. Just need some sense fucked into you huh sweetness.”

Your eyes go wide at Rowan’s boldness in front of the Cadre. He liked to keep things private between you, but you could sense something was different. You decided to play along, just to see what Rowan was scheming. You arched your back, grinding your ass into Rowan’s crotch, letting a small moan past your lips. “Yes sir.”

You could scent the arousal coming from the other Fae males in the tent. Mixing together it was overwhelming you. You didn’t know Rowan had an exhibition kink and if he was going to fuck you as the three of them watched you weren’t one to complain. You could feel your slick almost dripping down your thighs at the thought.

Rowan leans down placing wet, open mouth kisses all over your neck. “Now,” he said against your neck, “since Lorcan told us about the danger you put us all in, we’re all going to teach you a lesson. You gonna be a good girl for us?” Your heart was pounding in your ears. You had dreamed of each of these big strong males manhandling you, but all at once? You were going to pass out.

You hadn’t noticed Fenrys and Gavriel join your little circle until you felt Gavriel caress your cheek. Your attention snapped to him. “He asked you a question y/n.” Your mouth was suddenly dry. Your mind was empty as you wracked your brain for words that wouldn’t show up. Fenrys’ deep laugh had your eyes on him next. “Seems like the thought of having all of us has already caused her pretty little head to go dumb. That right baby?” You nod letting out a soft uh-huh.

“Good girl,” Lorcan purred. Rowan picks you up and brings you over to the large bed, the rest of the cadre follow. Putting you down, Rowan starts taking your leathers off, leaving you bare. He strips and slips behind you, wrapping you in his arms, leaving kisses on your jaw, neck, and shoulders. The others strip and watch you and Rowan with intense stares.

Rowan nips at your pointed ear. “The one treat you get tonight is picking who goes first, baby. Who’s it going to be?” You look at Lorcan, Gavriel, and Fenrys, meeting their hungry gazes with your own. You let out a hum as you think. “Lorcan,” you say in a seductive tone, a smirk playing on your lips.

Lorcan growls as he grabs you from Rowan. You wrap your arms around his neck, meeting his lips in a heated kiss. Your teeth and tongues clash as Lorcan fights for dominance as you push into him. You let him win as he pushes you down on the bed, pinning your shoulders.

He slowly moves down your body. Making sure to nip and kiss and lick every sensitive part of you. You shudder under his touch getting lost in the euphoric feeling of Lorcan dominating you. You caress his broad shoulders. Lorcan was quick to grab your wrists and pin them with one hand.

“Uh-uh baby. The only teary you got was picking me. You don’t get to touch.” He growls. Lorcan let’s a bit of his dark magic to wrap around your wrists, tying them to the bed. You whine as you try to move but the dark shadow like tendrils don’t give. Lorcan let’s out a dark laugh.

He moves to dig his fingers into your hips so hard your sure bruises are already forming. Lorcan drags his canines down one of your breasts, his tongue circling your hardened nipple. He looks at you through dark lashes wrapping his mouth around you and sucking hard. A high pitched moan leaves your mouth. You push your chest into his face. He lets go with a pop leaving a kiss to the top of your breast, a purple bruise forming near your nipple.

Lorcan keeps kissing and dragging his teeth down your torso while still keeping you in a death grip. He leaves teasing kisses on your clit and one tiny little lick. You buck your hips as best you can trying to move closer to his mouth. He tuts at your movements and runs a thick, long finger through your soaking folds.

“Fuck baby, so wet. That all for us?” You nod, looking at him through half lidded eyes. Lorcan lines himself up with your entrance, teasing you with the head of his thick, long cock. “You’re gunna be a good girl and take what I give you.” He grunts as he pushes into your tight cunt. You moan in unison at the feeling of him sinking inside you down to his base.

You felt like you couldn’t breathe he was so deep inside you. Lorcan gave you a second to adjust before he started thrusting into you at brutal pace. His thickness felt so good rubbing against your walls. You could do nothing but writhe beneath him. He was fucking you so good that you just went limp as you felt your orgasm approach.

Your moans got louder and louder as Lorcan pushed down on the bulge of him in your stomach. Your walls twitched around him. “Fuck-Lorcan feels so good.” “Yeah baby. You gunna come for me? Gunna come all over my cock?” You let out a pathetic whine in response. “Are you going to listen from now on? Be an obedient little slut?” You nod your head rapidly chanting yes and his name over and over.

With a few more thrusts your back is arching off the bed, your eyes screw shut as your vision goes fuzzy from the intensity of your orgasm. Your left breathless as he finishes inside you and immediately pulls out of you.

Giving you no time to recover Lorcan pulls you up by the shoulders, pulling his magic away from you. Fuck, you’re so out of it you barley feel his hand wrap around your throat. He pulls you to his chest and his lips meet your in another intense kiss. “If only I could have you all night. You’d never have a bratty attitude.”

Before you could respond Fenrys was pulling you from Lorcan’s grip. “Now Lorcan, be nice. Look at her,” Fenrys pulls you onto his lap, snaking his arms around you and rubbing soft circles into your skin with his calloused thumbs. He softly kisses your temple and you relax into him.

“She was so good for you. Don’t you think she deserves a reward?” Lorcan rolls his eyes as he adjusts his position at the foot of the bed. Fenrys gently lays you down and your eyes flutter shut. He smoothes your hair. Your eyes flutter open and wrap your arms around his neck, lazily playing with the strands of his long golden hair.

“You can hold on to me. You’re going to need to baby.” Fenrys kisses down your neck but quickly picks up the pace. Your energy comes back, spurred on by Fenrys’ eagerness to be tracing your curves for the first time. Fenrys wastes no time with you. You tug harder at those perfect curls as he slips into your already stretched out cunt.

Still sensitive from the fucking Lorcan gave you, you knew you wouldn’t last long with Fenrys. His thrusts were long and deep. Exploratory and full of curiosity. You held onto each other as his pace increased, your legs wrapping around his waist. Heels pushing into his back.

Without warning, your walls spasm around Fenrys and come. He keeps going, as he chases his own high. He looks down where you connect and he moans. Your release mixed with Lorcan’s is leaking from your hole. “Shit baby, look at you. Such a mess for us. You feel so good. I never wanna leave this pussy. So warm and full.” You bury your face into his neck and moan, his scent wrapping around you.

“Fuck, you can take another can’t you? You want my come don’t you baby?” “Yes Fenrys! Fuck, please, please, please!” Two more thrusts and his release paints your walls. You once again go limp as Fenrys collapses on top of you. Both of you panting. “So good.” He whispered into your chest.

Gavriel pulls Fenrys off you and rolls him to lay on his back next to Lorcan. Rowan is lifting you again. He turns you to look at him. You settle on your knees, steadying yourself by laying your hands on his chest. “Think you’ve learned your lesson sweets?” Gavriel kneels behind you, his chest pressing into your back.

By the grace of some god you still have the strength to look Rowan in the eyes and give him a smirk that says “not a chance”. He sighs. Looking to Gavriel, Rowan motions with his chin. Rowan move back to lay against the pillows at the headboard, spreading his legs and stroking his cock.

Gavriel moves you both back down the bed a bit then he pushes you to bend at the waist, elbows resting on the bed. Rowan fists your hair “Lets use that mouth for something other than talking back, hmm.” Rowan hummed. He pulls you down to swallow his cock. Making your head bob. Using your hands to cover what you couldn’t take in your mouth you set an acceptable pace for Rowan. “That’s it, just like that. See you can be a good girl. Just needed to give that mouth something to do.”

As you kept sucking Rowan off you felt Gavriel lightly running his fingers over your ass. He moves down to your pussy, sinking two fingers in. He curls and pumps them a few times before pulling out. Gavriel brings his fingers to his lips and licks them clean, moaning at the taste of you mixed with Lorcan and Fenrys.

“Such a filthy slut. But like Lorcan said, just for us to play with.” You could hear the smirk in his voice. As he leaned forward you felt his hard cock poke your thigh, your eyes rolling back at the thought of taking him and Rowan at the same time. Gavriel places soft kisses down your spine, so different from the way he was just talking about you.

He kisses down to your ass and finally lines himself up with you. He slowly sinks into you, letting you adjust to him inch by inch. Not like you need to after having Lorcan and Fenrys absolutely abuse you. But Gods above he feels good. But he’s taking too long.

When Gavriel finally starts to move you hum around Rowan causing him to his, his hands flying to grip your hair again. Gavriel fucks you it’s like no male has ever fucked you before. He’s taking the time to learn every inch of you inside and out. What parts of you are extra sensitive right now. You don’t know if you can go back to just having Rowan after Gavriel. The others were good, but holy shit. Gavriel was great.

You felt his fingers on your clit, rubbing it in small circles. As the pace of his thrusts picked up so did his fingers. You started to choke on Rowan’s cock and he was once again tightly grabbing your hair, controlling your movements.

You’d never admit this to any of them but this felt good. Not being in control. Being pleasured and used by them. You were in heaven right now. You felt your third orgasm on the night creeping up on you. That knot in your stomach tightening. Your eyes rolling. Your moans muffled and squeaky.

With a pinch to your clit and a few more perfectly angled thrusts from Gavriel you come undone one last time. His own orgasm following immediately after. You heard him swear above you as he pulled out of you. He kept your legs spread watching the mess between your legs drip down your thighs and onto the sheets.

Rowan pulled you off of him, finishing in his hand so you could catch your breath. As soon as he let go of your hair you collapsed on the bed, breathing deeply. You felt the four of them staring at you. It felt tense for some reason. You slowly flipped onto your back, stretching as best you could.

You let out a small hum, “Holy shit.” Fenrys let out a laugh. Rowan and Gavriel were pulling you up the bed, tucking you between them. Now that your punishment was over all they wanted to do was take care of you.

“You ok sweets?” An mmhhmm sounds from you followed by a yawn. You turn snuggling into Gavriel’s chest. He wraps an arm around you. Rowan gets up searching for a cloth or spare shirt to clean you up with. When he returns and spreads your legs you whine. Rowan quickly shushes you rubbing your thigh. “I’m just cleaning you up sweets.” He whispers.

You relax letting him wipe between your thighs. “There you go. All done.” He kisses your forehead and slips next to you again. Lorcan and Fenrys head off to their own beds after seeing you content in Rowan and Gavriel’s arms.

“Goodnight y/n,” Gavriel whispers. A cold wind rushes through the tent. Turning out all the lanterns and cooling your heated skin. You were glad it was Gavriel and Rowan holding you. You drifted off thinking what it would be like to be with them for eternity.

#throne of glass #throne of glass smut #throne of glass imagine #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass fanfiction #fenrys moonbeam #gavriel #rowan whitethorn #lorcan salvaterre #throne of glass cadre #throne of glass cadre x you #throne of glass cadre x reader #fenrys smut #throne of glass fenrys #fenrys x reader #Gavriel throne of glass x reader #Gavriel x reader #Fenrys x you #Gavriel x you #lorcan x reader #lorcan salvaterre x reader #lorcan salvaterre smut #lorcan x you #lorcan smut #rowan whitethorn x reader #rowan smut #rowan whitethorn x you #rowan x reader #throne of glass rowan #rowan x you

[shadowdaddies]

Hiiiii may please write rowaelin x reader where she gets injured and they get like rlly possessive over her

we know how protective Mr. "you're sleeping in my bed until you're better" is when you're hurt 😏 lmao love this

Protective Instincts

Rowaelin x Reader

Warnings: mention of battle/injury

Head pounding, you groaned in pain, groggily blinking awake as you took in your surroundings. A warm fire roared from a hearth across the room, situated next to the chairs and couch that made up the seating area - Aelin asleep in one of the chairs, curled in an awkward position with her legs swung over the armrest so that she was facing you.

You registered that you were in a guest room of the Lochans’ castle, where you’d been staying during your meetings with Aedion, Lorcan, and Elide over barrier precautions. Memories flashed in your mind as you fell back weakly against the pillows - you recalled the sudden attack, raiders from the Frozen Wastes who had somehow crossed the mountains in an attempt to overtake Perranth. 

Recalling the injury in your side from one of the raiders, you instinctively reached for the wounded area only to release another loud groan at the pain. In the corner of your vision, Aelin stirred, eyes widening as the two of you made eye contact. “You’re awake,” she cried, voice choking on the words. You smiled softly at her, your own voice scratching as you attempted to speak to her. 

Aelin leapt from her chair as you sputtered out a cough, bringing a glass of water from the nightstand to your lips. Putting the glass back down, she stroked your hair softly, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “How are you feeling?” You took a deep breath, still coming back to your senses. “I’m in pain, but-“

You were interrupted by Rowan opening the door, a tray with two plates of food in his hand as he noticed your wakened state, tension visibly dissipating from his shoulders as he did so. “Hi,” you whispered at him with a small smile. Rowan sat down the tray next to your water, rushing over to take your head in his hands, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. He maintained that stoic expression he usually did, but a torrent of emotions swam in his eyes, filled with concern.

Aelin reached up to take your hand in hers. “You were saying?” Refocusing your attention to her, you nodded. “I’m in some pain, but it’s manageable. I’m just trying to remember what happened.” A muscle ticked in Rowan’s jaw. Barely keeping a leash on his anger, he directed the question at you, “you don’t remember how you rushed into battle? How you jumped in front of a blade meant for another soldier?”

A flurry of guilt, grief, and other emotions overcame you as your lip wobbled under Rowan’s intense gaze. Aelin held up a hand, silencing him before he could lecture you further. “You were the kind, brave person that we know and love.” She glanced at Rowan pointedly before continuing, “we’ve been very worried. You were mostly unconscious for nearly a week.” Your eyes widened, jaw slack as you registered her words. A week? You must have been close to death’s door for an injury to take you out for so long. 

You held back tears, looking at Aelin and then Rowan. “I’m sorry, I know that must have been scary for the two of you,” you whispered. Rowan’s eyes softened then, and he crouched down beside where you laid as he took your hand, pressing a kiss to it. “You have nothing to apologize for, love. Here, try to eat some of this food while it’s warm.” 

He turned, picking up the tray as Aelin crawled into bed beside you, taking a plate for herself as Rowan sat on the other side of you, helping you eat the warm soup and bread. A knock on the door sounded before Aedion entered, “I just wanted to check and see how you’re do-“ 

Rowan cut him off with a growl, Aelin flashing her canines as their protective instincts took over. Aedion held up his hands in a placating position, giving you a playful smile as he retreated out of the room. “I’m glad you’re okay. They’ve been like this all week,” he teased with an eye roll as Rowan snarled once more in warning. 

The door clicked shut, the three of you alone once more as Aelin finished her food, snuggling into your side as you put an arm around her and leaned your head on Rowan, eyes drooping once more now that you were sated with food. “Uh huh,” Rowan tsked, helping you sit up. “No falling asleep yet. You’ve been asleep for days, and need a proper bath. I’ll be back for you in a moment.”

You scoffed softly under your breath, turning to Aelin as he left the room. She smirked at you, flicking your nose. “He is right, you know. You do stink.” Leaning in to press a kiss below your ear, Aelin murmured against your neck, “but I’ll help you clean up.”

#throne of glass #throne of glass fanfic #aelin throne of glass #rowan whitethorn #throne of glass imagine #aelin ashryver galathynius #rowan x reader #rowaelin #rowaelin x reader #rowaelin x you #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin fic #poly!rowaelin x reader #poly!rowaelin x you #throne of glass fluff #tog x reader #tog fanfic #aedion ashryver #tog fluff #rowaelin fluff #poly!rowaelin x y/n #throne of glass fanfiction #kingdom of ash #aelin galythinius #throne of glass x reader #throne of glass fic #aelin galathynius #rowan x aelin #rowan x you #tog rowan

[rowaelinsdaughter]

can i pla request rowaelin x reader where reader doesn’t know they’re mates and feel guilty for being attracted to both of them meanwhile rowaelin are internally begging for her to notice the bond

GUILTY

a/n;;; i got a little carried away but i loved writing this :")

WARNINGS;; guilty feelings, long chapter

she shouldn’t be feeling this. she should have done something earlier. but there was no coming back… she was in love with the queen and king of terrasen, and she felt guilty.

everything started with aelin. she entered one day to her bookstore looking for some books for her to read and to send some of them to her friend, dorian havilliard, the king of adarlan. she was going to bow when aelin told her not to, she had enough of it in the castle, she said. 

she asked her what books she was looking for. romance with some spice scenes she said. and while she entered the storehouse, aelin was cleaning the sweat in her hands. she gave her the books and told her to come back if she wanted anything more. of course. 

and she came back twice a week, sometimes she ordered some books, sometimes she didn’t buy anything… but she had the feeling that the queen of terrasen was in her bookstore for another reason. and one day she came with the king of terrasen. he was beautiful, they both were. you had been feeling something for aelin. her attention towards her, how she would always come to her bookstore when she knew for sure there were better bookstores in orynth. 

6 months passed, and she loved them. both of them. in the past few months, they had taken her out on dates, she had read with aelin in her castle room, rowan had helped her with the store… they had done things they shouldn’t have done, but they did, and now she was in love with the queen and king.

she was reading with aelin in her room, like so many days. they had decided to read the same book together and then comment on it. as they finished the last page, aelin said. “i don’t have words to describe it”

“me neither” she looked to aelin and found her eyes on her mouth. she pressed them together but aelin was still looking at them, she was going to say something when aelin kissed her. her tongue entered her mouth, she tasted like lemon verbena and kissing her was like being in heaven. but she was married to rowan, she was a married female, she had a mate. she pulled apart.

they were breathing fast, but she managed to speak “i can’t, i can’t” and she left, running to her home, leaving aelin in the room with tears rolling down her face. 

a month passed and she didn’t hear of them or saw them, as if they had already forgotten about her. but it was easier this way. it’s better this way.

it’s better this way. 

it’s better this way. 

it’s better this way. 

but she wasn’t better.

she missed them.

she missed spending the afternoon reading with aelin.

she missed going to walk with rowan.

she missed laughing with aelin and how rowan’s eyes would light up. 

she missed them like she hasn’t missed anyone. 

she had felt it the day aelin kissed her, had felt it when rowan would take her hand, a tug in her heart and a voice in her head. go. it would say. go, where?. go, just go. and it was her mother’s voice, who had told her to go every time she was with them. and know she knew what she meant. go with them. go where you feel safe. go where you are loved. go with your mates. 

mates.

she was their mate. 

and she felt guilty for it. for loving them, for being their mate. and she cried. cried for a love that was impossible. 

she had fallen asleep, her eyes red, and her mouth dry. but an incessant knocking on her door, had awakened her. she looked at the wall-clock. 2 am. barefoot, she made her way to the front door, and when she opened it… aelin was there. 

her blue and golden eyes were red from crying, bags under them, and her usually shiny hair was dull, without life. she knew rowan was near, keeping an eye on the street. 

“i need to talk to you” aelin whispered.

should she let her enter? do it. 

so she did. 

she led aelin to the couch, as she sat down, she watched as aelin started to pace. “i know that you may not want to see me or rowan, and i know i should have come the day you left, but… i didn’t know what to say or how to explain what we have, that you are our mate, and” a breathy laugh “gods, this month apart have been like being in hell, because that is what our lives feel without you. hell. we’ve been trying to tell you for months, but we were scared you would run away the moment you knew it.” she walked to her and she watched as aelin kneeled before her, taking her hands. and the tears she thought were dry, started to flow again like a waterfall. 

“but i want you to know that i love you. rowan loves you. we love you. because you are the light in our nights. you are the piece we were missing. so please, let us be yours.”

she kneeled before aelin. moving her hands away from her, she took her face with her hands, cleaning the tears with her thumbs. “i love you aelin, and i love rowan. i love both of you” aelin pressed her forehead with her’s, and a cold wind opened the window, and they watch as a hawk entered the room, and then turned into rowan. he walked to them and kneeling, he embraced both of them. he had heard everything. 

she felt the bond sing with happiness as she melted into her mates.

well done, darling… i love you. i will always love you.

EPILOGUE

she heard a little voice talk to her. but she was dreaming and that voice… she knew that voice. 

“hi there baby” 

evalyn. 

she wasn’t dreaming then. 

she blinked a few times, getting used to the sunlight that entered the bedroom. she watched down and she saw her. her silver hair was knotted, but her green eyes were bright as she talked to her belly. 

“good morning darling” she said to the little girl.

“good morning mommy” she called her mommy, while she called aelin mama. she looked again at her belly. “you think she can hear me?”

she let a low laugh. “of course she can” she said, stroking her hair. evalin climbed higher until her head was resting on her breast, and she hugged the little girl. 

aelin and rowan watched her two girls. 

we did it rowan. 

we did it, fireheart.

all rights reserved to ©rowaelinsdaughter. no tranlations allowed. no copy theme. don not copy my work.

tagging;; @throneofsapphics @danikamariewrites @hellwantfuckme @shadowdaddies

#sjm books #sarah j maas #fanfic #throne of glass #throne of glass imagine #throne of glass fanfiction #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #aelin x f!reader #aelin x you #aelin x reader #rowan x you #rowan x reader #rowaelin x reader #rowaelin x you #tog fluff #tog x reader #tog fic

[thehighladywrites]

Throne of glass characters x reader, sending them lingerie pics

summary: you send them pics of your new lingerie

warnings: suggestiveness, mdni

amara’s note: this is my first throne of glass related post, i’m gonna start making more I hope

for my wife: @rowaelinsdaughter 💗

#talkswithamara #throne of glass imagine #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #rowan whitethorn #fenrys moonbeam #lorcan salvaterre #lord lorcan lochan #elide lochan #manon blackbeak #manon blackbeak x reader #dorian havilliard #dorian havilliard x reader #aelin fireheart #aelin galathynius #aelin ashryver galathynius #aelin x reader #aelin galathynius x reader #tog #tog x reader #tog x you #sjm books #sjmaas #sjm #kingdom of ash #rowan x reader #dorian x reader #lorcan x reader #throne of glass smau #tog smau

[leiawritesstories]

sleepless in terrasen

@throneofglassmicrofics instead of final papers i wrote...this 🫣

prompts: Sleepless & Rapture & Elixir

word count: 1,059 (whoops)

warnings: NSFW CONTENT OOPSIES

enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She hadn't been able to sleep.

After two hours of tossing and turning, silken sheets rustling in agitation beneath her flushed skin, Aelin groaned in frustration and rolled out of her bed. Damn the man sleeping one door away from her. Damn his stupid sexy smirk and his stupid hot lips and his stupid big hands. Damn Rowan Whitethorn for kissing every coherent thought out of her head and locking the door behind him as he went to his own damned room.

Damn that gentlemanly tendency of his.

With a half-grunt, half-moan of frustration, Aelin reached for the small vial of medicine that she always kept with her whenever she traveled. Whether it was a long business trip with her parents and the rest of their government staff or a trip like this, a simple two-day drive from university back to her home, she always kept some sleep medication on hand. After nearly a decade of chronic insomnia, she knew how handy even a single does of that elixir was.

Fumbling in the dark, her hand soon closed around the familiar bottle. She quickly unscrewed the top, lifted the tiny glass bottle to her lips, and drank down the slightly-sweet medicine. After she placed the empty vial back on the nightstand, she tucked herself back into the very comfortable hotel bed, rolled onto her side, and waited for the familiar drowsiness to wash over her body.

Instead of sleepiness, though, a powerful wave of heat spread through her.

Shocked, Aelin flipped on the bedside lamp and grabbed the tiny glass bottle, squinting at the tiny print. Slowly, the words became clear.

Oh, fuck.

"Intensify Her Pleasure!" screamed the crimson lettering on the small black label. That wasn't her sleeping meds--it was a goddamn aphrodisiac.

And the need pulsing through her veins reared its head in full force, her nipples peaking to stiff little points at the thought of needing stimulation. Craving stimulation. From a certain pair of rough, calloused hands that had just recently gripped her hips as the man who owned them pressed her back into the wall and kissed a fire into her blood.

Gods. Aelin flipped the light off, dropped the bottle, and curled herself into a tight little ball under the sheets, willing the lust to calm itself down. Willing the image of Rowan's shirtless chest out of her--holy gods. Against her will, that image suddenly lost its pants.

And the fire in her veins burned brighter, demanding attention.

She stretched out, sliding the worn cotton shirt off her body. His shirt, its pine scent warm, comforting, familiar. Even the gentle rasp of the fabric against her peaked nipples sent a shudder through her body, and she lowered her hands to her breasts, gently circling the hardened buds. Harder. Rougher. Like she imagined Rowan would do if he wasn't so insistent on being a gentleman.

She didn't need him to be gentle with her.

As she slipped one hand between her thighs, Aelin couldn't muffle her soft moan. Fuck, she was so wet, turned on by the heated kiss, her need intensified by the damn aphrodisiac. Her fingers found her needy, throbbing clit, and she groaned, then grabbed a pillow and pressed it over her mouth, muffling her sounds. She should have been embarrassed that Rowan's name left her mouth in a broken moan as she slid two fingers into her pussy, but she wasn't. She wanted that man. Needed him.

And her fingers weren't nearly as good as she dreamed his thick, rough ones would be. Fuck. Breathing heavily, she reached her free hand into the nightstand drawer and grabbed her vibrator, switching it on to the lowest setting and trailing the bright blue toy over her nipples. She moaned louder, the sound muffled by the pillow, and slid it down her stomach, replacing her fingers with the vibe and flicking up the speed of the toy.

One more speed, love. Rowan's imagined voice filled her ears. That's a good girl.

"Rowan," Aelin moaned, pushing the vibrator harder against her clit and flipping on the suction as she flicked it up to its highest speed. "Oh my god, Ro!" Eyes closed, legs spread, fingers twisting her nipples with just the right amount of roughness, her body shook as she fractured, her orgasm tearing through her like wildfire as she pictured Rowan's darkened eyes gleaming up at her from between her legs.

Too slowly, she turned the vibe down and pulled it away, chest heaving as she caught her breath from the powerful orgasm. From the dream that had fueled it.

She really didn't know how she was going to manage spending six hours in a car next to Rowan tomorrow, as if she hadn't just pictured him devouring her pussy while she used her favorite vibrator. On the other side of the wall, she heard a faint shifting of sheets, as if Rowan was just as sleepless as her.

Though that couldn't be possible, since she was the one who'd just gotten off thanks to taking the wrong medicine.

"Aelin..." She jerked upright, half believing she was dreaming. As silently as she could, she pressed her ear to the rather thin hotel wall, listening carefully. On the other side of the wall, Rowan's bed creaked, and he groaned. "Fuck, Aelin!"

Holy. Fuck.

In a split second, Aelin made a Very Bad Decision. She pushed herself out of bed, tugged Rowan's shirt over her bare body, and went to the door that separated their two rooms. Knowing Rowan had left it unlocked, she turned the handle and quietly opened the door and stepped into his room before the embers still sparking in her blood could cool her impulsiveness.

In his bed, Rowan yanked himself upright, his sweaty chest glistening in the slivers of moonlight that spilled in through the gauzy curtains. His eyes widened as he took in her flushed, wild-haired appearance, her parted lips. Her breathing hitched as she drank in his bare skin and the bulge barely hidden beneath the sheets.

"Aelin?" he whispered. Rough, jagged, hopeful.

"Rowan," she breathed. Rough, jagged. Needy.

He pushed the sheets aside and stood, and her knees weakened even as the fire in her blood roared right back to life.

"Come. Here." A demand. A promise.

She dropped her shirt to the floor and did just that.

~~~

TAGS:

@live-the-fangirl-life

@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

@wordsafterhours

@elentiyawhitethorn

@morganofthewildfire

@mariaofdoranelle

@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

@tomtenadia

@julemmaes

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@booknerdproblems

@earthtolinds

@goddess-aelin

@sweet-but-stormy

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@darling-im-the-queen-of-hell

@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

@aelinschild

@renxzs

#my writing #prompt fill #throne of glass microfics #throne of glass #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #rowan x aelin #rowaelin #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin fun times hehehe

[throneofsmut]

Kinktober Day Seventeen: Temperature Play

Rowan Whitethorn x Female Reader

Rowan had used his ice and wind magic to defend and protect you but now that you were mates he also used it to pleasure you.

“Fuck, Princess.” He groaned, clenching his jaw as he looked down at you.

You were a moaning and writhing mess beneath him as he rubbed an ice cube that he’d conjured over and around your hardened nipples and swollen clit. “Rowan” you cried out, tears threatening to fall.

He’d been teasing you for what felt like hours. He’d rub the ice over your burning skin and then he’d swirl his warm tongue over it, sometimes sucking.

“Yes, Princess ?” He feigned innocently but there was a wicked gleam in his pine green eyes. “Please” you whimpered as tears stained your cheeks. Rowan licked them as they fell, groaning, “Please what ? I need words, princess.” He knew what you wanted. What you so desperately needed.

“More.”

He placed a hungry kiss against your lips before moving to settle down between your thighs and lapping at your aching cunt. Your hips bucking in need of more. Of him. But he wasn’t done playing with you yet. Rowan growled when you started writhing and crying out as he began to suck harshly on your clit.

Heat coiled deep in your tummy as he inserted one thick finger, then two and started curling them so they hit that sweet spot inside you. “Oh fuck - fuck Ro.”

He knew you were right on the edge, he’d memorized every move and reaction your body had to his. To him. Pumping and curling his fingers even faster and moaning against your clit, the vibrations of it had you screaming as your release barreled through you.

Rowan sat up on his knees, looking down at you, “Good girl.” He praised as he still moved his fingers inside you and used his free hand to make tight circles on your clit.

Panting as you came down from your high, quicker than you could react, Rowan had flipped you over on your hands and knees. “Ro ?”

“Did you think I was done playing with you ? I’m just getting started, princess.”

You let out a sharp breath as he pushed all the way in, bottoming out in one go. And before you could adjust he was pulling out and slamming right back in. “Oh gods.” You fisted the sheets, knowing you were in for a long night.

#throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass smut #tog #tog smut #tog fanfic #rowan whitethorn #rowan whitethorn x reader #rowan whitethorn smut #rowan x reader #rowan smut #a court of thorns and roses #acotar fanfiction #acotar smut #acotar #crescent city

[writtenonreceipts]

a/n: Bonus points if you can point out where one of my (many) mental breakdowns occurs.  She’s a bit of a disaster.  I literally don’t know where this came from…

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas @aelinschild!  Written as part of the @rowaelinscourt secret santa exchange. Thanks for putting up with me and my myriad of asks.  It’s been wonderful to get to know you these last few weeks! <3<3<3<3

Find the companion Elorcan piece here! Set just a few months before the main events of this story.

AO3 Link here

Warnings: nothing major, non-explicit/passing mentions of trauma/abuse, very brief mention of drugs ~25k words

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Until the Dust Settles

A golden sun set behind the Oakwald Mountains, casting long shadows across the long stretch of land that made up Whitethorn Ranch.  The acres were a makeup of subtle rills and hills where horses could run for ages and the flatter earth where a decent sized garden yielded a fair amount for the farmers market in the spring and summer. 

The land had been in Rowan Whitethorn’s family for over one hundred years—it was the only home he’d ever known.  He’d grown up racing horses through the vast fields or spending winter chasing down animals that had gotten loose in a storm.  He would admit that sometimes it was a hard life to live—the constant work, the fear for the animal’s safety.  But it certainly had its benefits.

The spring and summer that actually made the land worth having.  Not only because there in the farther outreaches of the countryside, things seemed untouched by society—which really was the only thing worth mentioning.  But it also allowed for the most tourism and when most people came to visit that ranch.

For nearly twenty years now, Whitethorn Ranch was mostly known for its outreach program for troubled teens.  When kids needed time away from home where it was for depression, anxiety, trauma, misbehavior—they came to the ranch.  

It had started ages ago when Rowan’s great-grandfather came to own the land and took on the runaways who were escaping bad situations.  His great-grandparents accepted anyone who came by the ranch as their own and the attitude extended through the generations.  By the time Rowan’s father gained the land, things had turned to be more professional.  

The ranch used a mix of therapy modems and simple outreach to help those who needed it.  They offered day visits for schools, riding lessons, even month-long visits and stays for extreme cases.  It was careful water to tread sometimes.  Recently, Rowan had been more conscious about making sure the kids who came felt safe and wanted.  He never accepted anyone who was forced to come, unless he could talk to the kid first.  Even then, he knew that help only helped when someone actually wanted it.

But now as Rowan stared over the golden horizon, he wondered how anyone could turn a sight like this down.

He tightened Goldryn’s reins and clicked his tongue, directing the horse back to the stables.  It had been a long day of checkouts and clean up.  This late in the fall, most people only came by for tours or field trips.  Business wouldn’t pick back up until May at least.

For now, the ranch would rely on its usual borders.  There were a few families that owned horses but didn’t have the land to keep them, so Rowan rented out stalls and charged for care.  It kept him busy enough in the slower months.  Him and Lorcan, his best friend from college, made things work though.  It had taken a great deal of convincing to get Lorcan to come out here, but the grumpy bastard enjoyed being outside and this job presented plenty of opportunity.

It certainly helped that Lorcan had recently started dating Elide Lochan, who was a staple to the small town.  And Rowan had to admit—they were good together.

As he rode down a worn path along the paddock fence, Rowan could see a shape waiting for him in the distance.  He grimaced.  There was only one person that would be so intent on talking to him.

He slowed Goldryn to a trot, knowing he couldn’t avoid the inevitable.

Leaning against a fence post with her arms crossed and golden blonde hair hanging in loose curls was Aelin Galathynius.  Brilliant, beautiful, and a pain in his ass.  She had come to the ranch almost six months ago after graduating from a top university specializing in trauma.  She was exactly what he needed for what he was trying to accomplish here and exactly the right person to drive him insane.

Rowan pulled Goldryn to a stop at the fence gate and stared down at Aelin.  Her cold blue eyes stared right back up.  She’d long since traded her fancy clothes and high heels out for jeans and t-shirts.  She even wore a baseball cap on occasion.  And yet the change of close did nothing to diminish her looks.

“I need to talk to you,” she said.  She didn’t flinch when Goldryn stamped her feet with a loud snort.  Another thing Aelin had improved upon, not being jumpy around the animals.  Though, she did eye the mare with a bit of distrust.

“It’s outside of my office hours,” he replied.  “Try again tomorrow.”

Aelin scowled at him.  It was the same excuse she used on him when he needed to talk to her, he didn’t see why she should be so upset to have it thrown back in her face.

“That’s what you said yesterday,” she said.

“I know what I said.”  He adjusted his hold on the reins and shrugged. “It’s been a busy few days.”

He jumped off of Goldryn’s back, landing in the earth with a soft thump.  He could just as easily have Aelin open the gate for him, but he was convinced she would have tried to scratch his eyes out if he’d asked.  Keeping one hand in the reins, Rowan unlatched the gate and swung it open towards him.  Goldryn snorted again, huffing as she backed up a few feet to make room.  

Aelin too had taken a step back but she didn’t go far.  She was several inches shorter than he was, even in the boots she wore, but still taller than the average woman.  She had a lean, athletic build Rowan had seen put to good use.  When some of the kids got restless on their extended stays she would workout with them, go for runs, turn hay bales, the whole nine-yards.  She wasn’t weak by any means.

“What do you need, princess?” he asked as he led Goldryn through the gate, locking the paddock again behind him.  He kept himself between Aelin and the horse, mostly because he knew she still wasn’t comfortable around the larger animals and even he wasn’t that cruel.

Still, Aelin almost stalked off right then.  Rowan could see it in her eyes, the tilt of her chin.  It wouldn’t have surprised him if she had.  Hell, he’d never met anyone as stubborn as Aelin Galathynius.  Not even one of his horses had as much attitude.

But he knew she needed something and even though it killed her, she uncrossed her arms and kept pace with him as he set off toward the stables.

“Don’t call me that,” Aelin said flatly.  She flicked her hair over one shoulder as she kept her steps purposeful, even when she stepped in a small hole and nearly went careening forward.

Rowan tried to reach out and steady her as he kept Goldryn reined in, but Aelin waved him off.  She straightened herself out and got on even footing before she continued to scowl at the ground.  She’d always been like that too—refusing help and insisting she could manage things on her own.  She was damned near worse than Farasha.

“Easy,” he said.  He was talking to the horse, who was yanking on the reins a bit too hard.  Aelin of course would never miss an opportunity to glare at him.

It was a shame they hated each other; Rowan decided.  Because try as he might, he couldn’t ignore the fact that she was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen.  Between her blue eyes, the golden waves of hair, the mischievous tilt of her lips—he’d be a fool not to acknowledge it.  But Aelin was also impossibly stubborn.  She fought him on everything.  She was opinionated.  She was selfish.  She was—

“I want you to open up another week for kids to come and stay over Christmas and New Years,” Aelin said.  She adjusted the yellow and black flannel she wore, eyes straight forward.

She was going to drive him to an early grave.

It was Rowan’s turn to stumble as he spun to look at her. “You what?”

Goldryn snorted, pulling on the reins again.  Oh she was mad at him.  They were a few minutes late to dinner now and she knew it.  Damn horse.

“An extra week for kids to come stay over the holidays,” Aelin repeated.  She didn’t flinch from the way he turned his own glare on her, only kept walking with that insufferable tilt to her chin.

“Why?” he asked.

Christmas—any of the holidays this time of year really—always made for a quieter time on the ranch.  People were more content to stay at home and put off their problems a little longer.  It wasn’t until after that people realized how much they hated their circumstances.  Even then, they didn’t seek out his ranch for anything more than daily horse rides.  Nothing to actually problem solve.

“It’s a hard time of year for kids,” Aelin said.  

They reached the stables and she helped slide the great door open.  Immediately, the heating system blasted them with a warm gush of air accompanied by the scent of hay, manure, and feed.  It was a scent Rowan had grown used to and, strange as it was, he took comfort in.

Rowan handed Goldryn off to one of the stable hands who took the mare to her stall.  Turning to Aelin, Rowan crossed his arms over his chest, taking her in.  She had a fiery determination about her and he knew he wouldn’t be able to brush her off easily.

“Open up an extra week so these kids can have a safe place to come,” Aelin insisted. “There’s a program with the city—”

“Please, Aelin, I know what that means,” he said, already walking away.  She could trail him and make her case if it was so important. “I won’t actually get paid for the extra costs.  The city pretends to take care of all the funding but doesn’t actually give me what I need.”

“I’ll take care of it all,” Aelin said, indeed following right after him as he moved to the feed barrels.  She even managed to dodge the droppings from the lone pig that wandered the stables. “I’ll keep up the communications with the program.  I know the director, she’s not a flake.”

Rowan had heard things like this before.  Sellene had tried to get him to take state funding before too, all that resulted in was mounds of paperwork and audits.

He opened the feed barrels and started scooping portions into waiting buckets that would go to the various horse stalls.  Aelin took one of the buckets as soon as it was filled, her manicured fingers wrapping around the handle.  

“The Cavarre Foundation wants to help kids,” Aelin continued.  She grabbed another bucket. “They’ve already got a list of kids they can send over.”

“Then they can wait til after the holidays,” Rowan said.

He hefted his own buckets and went to the first stall.  A yearling named Quinn was already waiting for his feed.  His owners were aiming for the colt to be a stallion and show for congress.  Quinn had a bit too much attitude to take to that sort of training, he’d be better as a rodeo horse or in the fields, but Rowan wasn’t being paid for that commentary.

“Watch it buddy,” Rowan warned the colt as he opened the stall and eased toward the trough in the corner.  Quinn nickered and pranced a bit, but ultimately didn’t give him any issues.

Aelin waited outside the stall, the tension in her body obvious.  She should just go and catch up with him later.  He would have suggested it too if she didn’t immediately start talking again.

“What if their home lives aren’t the best?  These kids have been selected from a few of the foster homes in the area and recommended by psychiatrists that this would be a beneficial healing opportunity.”  Aelin dodged around a worker moving hay, this time landing one foot in a pile of pig dung.  She didn’t flinch. “Isn’t that what this ranch is about?”

No it wasn’t.

Rowan opened the door of Hessina’s stall.  The mare was pregnant, due in late February, and had to be the sweetest horse he actually owned.  Rowan offered her a nose rub that she eagerly accepted.

“Are you even listening to me?” Aelin asked as Rowan closed the stall again.

“Hard not to when you won’t shut up,” he muttered.  He couldn’t tell if she’d heard him or not--her scowl remained perfectly etched on her face and she betrayed nothing as she walked with him to the next two stalls.

It didn’t take long to get most of the horses fed and ensure they had plenty of water.  The night wasn’t set to get too cold, so they wouldn’t bring out the blankets.  The heating system worked well enough to keep things warm but not freezing and these horses were all conditioned and bred for the chilly winter weather as it was.

By the time Rowan was ready to head back to the main house it had almost darkened completely outside.  Another long day done only for it to continue tomorrow and the day after.  He’d only been officially running the ranch for five years and he was ready to be done with it.

After making sure everything was set for the night, and checking in with the shift leader, Rowan decided he could leave everything as it was.  Lorcan would be in tomorrow to do a once over.  As the lead stable manager, he oversaw the functioning of the workers and the horses.  He even did a bit of training on the horses.  Not that Lorcan would ever admit to doing so.  

“You still here?” Rowan said to Aelin as he headed back to the cold night.  It was a twenty-minute walk, but the weather had been decent enough that he hadn’t wanted to bother with his car. 

“You never gave me an answer,” she said.

They walked across the long drive that led straight to the main house.  The road wasn’t paved, only gravel packed dirt that wound it’s way around the property.  When kids were staying in the cabins, Aelin had a room designated for her in the house, but she usually just went back into town where she rented an apartment.  As far as he knew, she was still planning on leaving when they reached her car.

“I already told you no,” he said.

It wasn’t an easy decision to make; opening the ranch up for a week.  Especially over the holidays.  He knew that Lorcan didn’t care about this time of year and there were a few ranch hands that wouldn’t mind the extra time to work.  But if the city program never paid him, he could never pay for the extra work.  And while he knew he could handle the work on his own if necessary…well, Rowan just didn’t see the point of approving this.

“It’s a lot to take on without much warning,” he added, before Aelin could rise up in a defensive retort. “Give me a day, alright?”

They finally reached the main house with its large wrap-around porch, the whitewashed wood, and three-story windows.  His cousin was probably inside already cooking up a meal that she’d filmed for her Instagram page.  It was the kind of house for a family, for someone with more to their name than Rowan did.  Sometimes he really hated coming home.

Aelin car, a small two-door Audi, waited from where she’d parked it that morning.  Rowan would be very interested to know how she planned on getting around once the snow started.

“I’ll take on any extra work you need,” she said, “cooking, cleaning, I’ll care for horses—”

“You hate the horses,” he said.

Her mouth twisted to the side. “I’ll do what I need to do.  Please, Rowan.  I think this would be a really good opportunity.”

Rowan didn’t know what surprised him more: the fact that she said please or used his first name.  He made the mistake of meeting her gaze, the gold undertones of the blue bright in the porch lights.  Shaking his head, Rowan muttered a curse.

“I’ll let you know in the morning,” he told her.

Aelin nodded once. “Thank-you.”

It was the most civil they’d been to each other in a long time.  Usually their exchanges ended in accusations, shouting, and name calling.  Aelin too seemed caught off guard by it.  She stepped back, digging for her keys in her pocket.  She nodded again before returning to her car.

Rowan remained outside as she made a quick U-turn in the large gravel drive.  She disappeared into the night quietly, the taillights soon lost as she curved down a bend in the road.

“Dammit,” he muttered.

Rowan already knew the answer he would have to give Aelin.  It was one he’d have to give his entire staff.  And he knew no one was going to like it.  Come new year he was going to sell the ranch to someone new.  And just like that the legacy his family had left him would be gone.

…

As she drove down the highway into town, Aelin found herself wringing the steering wheel of the car while imagining it was Rowan Whitethorn’s neck.  She knew, she knew, he was going to tell her no.  He would text her first thing in the morning and tell her that her request would be denied.  That the thing she actually cared about wouldn’t see the light of day.

He was a bastard.

She’d known it from the first day she’d met him so many months ago.  

It was her first full day in Oakwald, having left everything behind in Terrasen, and she was ready to start anew.  She’d expected things to be hard.  But she hadn’t expected Rowan Whitethorn to look at her with such contempt and tell her that she really had no business being there in the first place.  As if he hadn’t hired her just a week ago to fill a vacancy in his staff.

Not to mention the look he’d given her clothes, her car, everything about her was some big cosmic joke.  

Aelin sighed and turned off the highway to the bar where her one real friend worked.

Her little Audi was out of place among the trucks and SUVs.  She just needed to make it another two weeks without any bad weather and she’d have access to her new car.  Locking up, she hurried into the bar, already relishing the warmth awaiting.

In the span of one minute, the cold November air nearly sucked the life out of her.  The bar was a welcome reprieve as it was always kept at a decent heat.  Even with the scent of cigarette smoke lingering in the air, it had a comforting air about it.

Aelin went to the counter and slipped into a stool right next to Lorcan Salvaterre.

“Seriously?” he growled at her with a malicious side eye.

“It's the best of both worlds,” Aelin said with a cheeky smile. “You don’t like sharing your girlfriend, but she’s my best friend.  You still can talk to her and freely ignore me.”

Lorcan was not impressed by the explanation.  Back in the city, Aelin would have done everything in her power to avoid a man like him.  He was massive with long black hair and enough scars to indicate bad news.  His leather jacket strained with his broad shoulders and thick muscles.  And while Aelin would admit she had a thing for guys of a certain physique there was something dark about Lorcan that she couldn’t explain.  Which made it all the more surprising that he and Elide had started dating.

“Hey, Aelin!” Elide appeared from the swinging doors that led to the kitchen, carrying a tray of appetizers for another table.

“Hey!” Aelin called back.

Just a few months ago, Elide had told her about the confession she’d overheard where Lorcan admitted his feelings for her.  It had led to a heated kiss and a night that Elide said was the best of her life.  It was the only explanation Aelin needed or wanted.  She was glad her friend was happy, even if it was with Lorcan Salvaterre.

“Glad to see you’re still grumpy as ever,” Aelin told Lorcan.  She snagged a few pretzels in one of the many bowls set up along the bar.  She’d long gotten over her germ contamination worries.  

Lorcan grunted and sipped his beer.  Aelin rolled her eyes.

“You’re just like Whitethorn,” she said.

Another grunt.  Well, it was better than utter ignorance she supposed.

Elide appeared a minute later.  She leaned against the counter and raised a brow.

“Wow, you actually chose to sit next to Lorcan,” she said, “I’m proud of you.”

“I figured it would be better than making the old man upset that you would choose me over him to talk to,” Aelin explained.  “Besides, I think he’s warming up to me.”

Lorcan cut her a look that only had her grinning.

Elide snorted a laugh. “Yeah, besties the two of you.  What would you like to drink?”

“Just a coke,” Aelin said, “I should get home soon.”

“Coke and mozzarella sticks coming up,” Elide said with a wink.  She glanced at Lorcan. “Babe?”

Lorcan stared at his girlfriend for a long moment before registering what she said.  The corner of his mouth picked up in a smile and he shook his head.  

“Nah, I’m good.”

Elide only smiled fondly as she got Aelin her coke and went to put in an order for mozzarella sticks.

It was strange to Aelin just how enmeshed she’d gotten into this small town just in the past few months since arriving.  She never thought she’d find a place to belong more than in Terrasen, but there was something about Oakwald that she couldn’t deny enjoying.  It certainly helped that she and Elide had become such quick friends.  

But really, Aelin was glad to be out of Terrasen.  She needed a new start.  A new life.  Here, no one knew her history, her parents, anything beyond the fact that she was the new therapist on Whitethorn Ranch.  And she liked it that way.

Elide returned a minute later, her thick black hair piled in a new bun atop her head.  She often worked doubles all week long without much time for herself, let alone to date anyone.  But Aelin had learned a long time ago that Elide was as good as they came.  She worked hard, cared harder, and was one of the most genuine individuals she’d ever met.

“How was the ranch?” Elide asked.  She set another beer on the bar for Lorcan without his needing to ask for it.

“Good,” Aelin said, “it’s been slowing down.  But if Whitethorn wouldn’t be such an ass, it would pick up.  I pitched him my idea for the extra week over the holidays.  He’s just going to say no, though.” Beside her, Lorcan made a noise.  She shot him a glare. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said, “it doesn’t matter.”

He looked up when the bar door opened and a few of his friends came in.  He rapped his knuckles on the counter before standing to go join them.

Aelin looked back to Elide. “How can you like him?”

“Because I do,” Elide said simply.  She leaned across the counter with a sigh. “I’m sure Rowan will approve your idea.  It’s a good one and he knows it’s what his ranch is for.  Take him the numbers and notes you came up with.  He can’t say no to concrete evidence.”

Aelin nodded absently.  When she’d come to Oakwald it had been in part to get away from Terrasen.  But it had also been a beckoning call from her cousin and his wife.

Lysandra Cavarre-Ashryver had been a close friend of Aelin’s for years when they’d grown up together in Terrasen.  They’d lost contact when Lysandra’s foster family took her across the country.  Aelin too had lost contact with her cousin after a series of messy family drama.  It was only after Aelin’s…accident a few years ago that they’d slowly reconnected.

And to be honest ever since talking with Lysandra and Aedion again, Aelin had slowly started feeling like herself.  It had only taken six years.

“I just…I really think it’s a good plan, especially for those kids,” she said.  This entire thing was the only thing keeping her afloat right now.  A job that gave her purpose, a chance to reunite with her cousin…it was better than being left with the reality of potentially going back to Terrasen.

Aelin shuddered at the thought and sipped her coke.  The carbonation danced on her tongue as she swallowed.

“He’s going to say yes,” Elide said.  She gave Aelin another look of assurance before going back to the kitchen to check on orders.

Aelin didn’t know what to think.  Elide had to be on her side, that’s what friends did.  But Elide was also not the kind to cling to false hope.

“Yeah,” she said to herself.  She had to believe that this would go right.  Because the alternative…well she didn’t want to think about that.

…

“What do you mean no?” Aelin asked.

She stared across the desk at Rowan who looked utterly passive as he sat in his chair, fingers steepled before him.

They were in the office of the main house where most of the “on paper” business of the ranch was taken care of.  Aelin had spent a bit of time here over the last several months.  Mostly to force Rowan to listen to her on a subject.  And just like all the other times before it was proving to be hostile and unproductive.

The office was simple in decoration with only a few framed pictures of Rowan’s dad, granddad, and great-granddad, a few knick-knacks on the shelves, and medals and certificates of recognition that the ranch had received over the years for various horses that had made nationals and other such things.

 Aelin didn’t like the room very much.  The rest of the house had a homey feel, but she believed that was because Sellene lived on site while she went to school at the local community college and hosted an online cooking show with Instagram.  It was Sellene that added the feminine touch to the main concourses.  Rowan hardly seemed like the domestic type.  If things were his way the entire house would be empty save for a display of guns.

“I mean no,” Rowan said.  He didn’t even look apologetic as he delivered the news.  “It’s too much work for the ranch in this season.  Most of the workers are already leaving until things pick up in the spring.  And if you can’t guarantee payment then I’m not putting in the risk.”

She pulled out the binder she’d curated with Lysandra and dropped it on the desk with a thunk.

“I have the costs and benefits listed, what the program will offer in payment before and after, they have releases all lined up, the programs director is willing to come down and help with whatever is needed supervision wise for the kids.”  Aelin flipped the binder open to the different graphs and spreadsheets. “If you’d just look it over.”

She was trying desperately to keep her voice even, to keep from shaking and revealing too much, but Aelin could feel a familiar sense of panic rising within her.  This was happening.  He was going to turn her down and she would be left with the solid evidence that she couldn’t even do something as simple as start a therapeutic program on her own.

“Aelin,” Rowan said.  He leaned across the desk and placed a hand on the open binder.  He didn’t even bother to look at the pages of carefully crafted data.  Instead, his stupid green eyes bore into her with what Aelin could only describe as pity.

The bastard was pitying her?

She slid the binder away from him, protective of it and all the work she’d put into its contents.  

“Fine,” she said.  She shouldn’t have been surprised.  In the last seven months of knowing him, he had always been cold and heartless. The kind of person that Aelin should have known better than getting into business with.  He wasn’t any better than—

“I have three conditions,” Rowan said suddenly.

Aelin snapped her eyes back to his.  He couldn’t really mean—

“First, you’ll be expected to pick up extra slack from the workers who already have approved time off for the holiday,” Rowan said, “and you’ll have to convince Lorcan to work over time.”

Aelin blinked at him. “Seriously?”

“Yes.”

“No strings attached?”

“Well, I doubt you’re going to get Lorcan to help.” Rowan shrugged, leaning back in his chair. He paused as if considering what his next words would be. “He doesn’t like helping people very much.”

“I know he doesn’t like me,” Aelin said, her body still thrumming with excitement. “No need to sugar coat it.  What was your third condition?”

Rowan adjusted the cuff of his shirt. “The program director needs to have at least a quarter of the payment to me by tomorrow afternoon.”

“She can have it to you by today,” Aelin said automatically.  She knew that just like her, Lysandra had been waiting for an opportunity like this to come along and had made sure she had sufficient funding all lined up.  Plus, there was Aedion who would go to hell and back if it meant getting Lysandra something she wanted.

Rowan didn’t seem convinced that her words held much weight but he only nodded. “Alright.  Then from the twenty third to January second you’re in charge.”

“Deal.  Done.”  Aelin agreed automatically.  She would have given him the twenty in her wallet and her library card if it would make a difference.  Which it should.  Her library card was worth gold.

Despite his agreement, displeasure was plain to see on Rowan’s face.  He still didn’t like this plan.  Well he could just suck it up.  By the time Aelin was through and was able to execute all the ideas she had—he would see.  This was going to be a brilliant idea, one that could easily become a new tradition for the ranch.

He held out a hand toward her and Aelin stared.  Did he want to shake on this?

“The binder,” he said, one silver brow raised.

Aelin felt a bit of heat rise in her cheeks, but she forced it back.  This binder was her baby.  Quite literally the thing that had pulled her through her master’s program, and hopefully to a doctorate.

“You’re going to be mean to her,” she said.

“It’s a binder.”

“It’s my child.”

Rowan’s lips parted in surprise.  Well, it wasn’t the first time she’d caught him off guard.  It was his turn to stare at her, those green eyes boring into her with such intensity Aelin would have thought he could actually see into her soul.

“I need to know what you’re going to put my ranch through,” he said.

Aelin pursed her lips.  She knew she’d have to relent, but handing over the binder felt like handing over a piece of her and she didn’t think she was ready for that.  Rowan’s hand still wanted expectantly and she glanced down at it.  His palm was upturned and she could see the roughhewn calluses on his fingers and knuckles.  His skin was clean though, the nails neatly trimmed and no dirt tucked in the nail beds.  She’d never quite realized just how big Rowan actually was, in all these months.  And here he was holding out a hand to her and all she could do was stare.

Like a maniac.

She dropped the binder into his hand.  He barely twitched.

“I’ll just wait to hear from your…friend?” he asked.

“Lysandra Cavarre,” Aelin said.  Technically Lysandra Ashryver, but Aelin really didn’t want to go into the complications of last names and what they meant.  She’d made it this far without any association to her past, she could keep it up a while longer.

“Lysandra,” Rowan repeated, committing the name to memory.  He nodded and accepted the binder onto his desk. “I’ll leave you to it then.  You’ve got a lot of work to do if you think Lorcan’s going to agree to this easily.”

“Oh, he’s even more of a bastard than you,” Aelin replied quickly.  She smiled as sweetly as she would if she were talking with someone she liked. “But I’m best friends with his girlfriend.”

With that, Aelin rose from her seat, collecting her bag as she went.  When she reached the door, she turned back and smiled again.

“You won’t regret this.”

Just as she was pulling the door of his office shut behind her, she could have sworn she heard the soft murmur: Mala save me.

Aelin smirked to herself as she walked back through the house.  If she was adding just a little bit of extra misery to Rowans day, she didn’t suppose that would be an issue.  The grumpy buzzard deserved it.

She passed the kitchen where Sellene was sitting at the counter, a pile of books for school in front of her.  Pausing, Aelin rerouted to just say hi to the Whitethorn cousin.

Sellene, a few years older than Aelin’s twenty-five, had always been a staple of the ranch.  Even when she was doing her schooling, she’d taken time off to help raise her younger brother Endymion after their parents passed, she was almost always at the ranch.  Now that Endymion had gone to his own college of choice, Sellene was now able to pursue her own desires.

“Hey, Sel,” Aelin greeted.  She went to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle.

“Hey Aelin,” Sellene said. “Rowan giving you a hard time?”

“Has he always been so cranky?”  Aelin asked.  She sighed and leaned against the counter as she rested her elbows on the granite.  

Across from her, Sellene chuckled. “I guess you could say that.  Just be glad he likes you.”

“Please.” Aelin rolled her eyes. “He hates me.”

“If he hated you, do you think he’d keep you around?” Sellene raised a brow in question. “He’s an ass, but he knows you work hard.”

Aelin wasn’t so sure of that.  Really, she was convinced the only reason Rowan didn’t kick her off the ranch was because there were no other options for therapists to come out into the area.  It had only taken half a day for Rowan to call her in for an interview when she’d first applied.  The job offer came the next day.

“Whatever you say,” Aelin said. “You want to help me piss him off even more?”

Sellene sighed. “I would love to, unfortunately I am going to be headed out to visit Endymion during his break.  It’s harder for him to leave his job.”

Aelin shouldn’t have been surprised.  In the few months she’d been a part of the homestead she’d learned quickly that the Whitethorn cousins were a tight knit group.  Still, it would have been fun to pit Sellene against Rowan at least for a little bit.

“That’ll be fun,” she said.  “I’m sure he misses you.”

“Oh, I plan on embarrassing him to no end,” Sellene replied seriously. “He’s eighteen and thinks he’s the smartest person alive.  The boy’s gotta learn some humility.”

Aelin snorted a laugh.  Honestly, it was the same thing her own cousin would have said about her. 

Sellene shut down her computer sighed. “But I am going to miss this place.  It’s always the best being here during the holidays.  It’ll be weird not to see it all.”

It was a strange sentiment to share and Aelin didn’t quite know how to respond.  But she didn’t have time to ask about it.  It was already getting late in the day and she needed to call Elide to enlist her help.  And then tell Lysandra to send a deposit Rowan’s direction.

“Let me know if you need anything,” Aelin said, she’d have time to get more information from Sellene later.

“Yeah, good luck, Aelin,” Sellene said, smiling softly.

Aelin offered a wave before she hurried out of the house, phone in hand.  

It only rang once before Elide answered.

“Elide?” she asked. “I need your help.”

…

For some reason, Rowan had thought that Aelin wouldn’t succeed in meeting the three conditions he’d set out for her.  Because, really, how would she be able to convince Lorcan of all people to work over time?

He supposed this was his first lesson in not underestimating her because not half an hour after Aelin left his office the morning, he’d approved the project then he got a call from one Lysandra Cavarre asking for routing information that she could send money to.

By the end of the day, he’d gotten a text from Lorcan.

Your girlfriend’s a menace.

Rowan had stared at the message for entirely too long.

Not my girlfriend.

Lorcan’s brief response said more than anything else could: right.

The brief exchange caught Rowan off guard.  Not only for the fact that Lorcan didn’t insult Aelin, but the mere idea of calling her his girlfriend.  She was the bane of his existence.  In the entirety of her time on the ranch she’d demanded change, created chaos, and riled him up with all her little remarks.

Aelin Galathynius sought to drive him insane.  Even when he tried to return the favor, nothing he did seemed enough to deter her.  She only rose to the challenge.  He guessed he could respect her for that.

Three days after striking the deal with Aelin, Rowan woke early, as he usually did, and headed to the stables.  They still had two weeks of preparation before the holidays but there was still plenty to do.  

Rowan dressed quickly before heading to the kitchen where Sellene had left a smoothie and protein bar in the fridge for him.  When there were kids or other guests staying in the cabins, there was a bigger fanfare made for breakfast.  For now, this was usually what he got.  He’d much prefer making his own food, but he always appreciated the effort from Sellene.

He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl as well and headed out to his truck.  It was barely four-thirty in the morning but that was the life he’d set out for himself.  He’d barely made it down the deck stairs when he noticed the other car sitting in the drive next to his.

Aelin was leaning against the side of her tiny car, wearing a large flannel and jeans tucked into a pair of boots.  In her hands she held two thermoses.  

“What?” She called out to him. “Did you sleep in?”

Rowan crossed the yard toward her. “The sun isn’t even up.”

“Yeah, I hate it.” She took a long sip from one of the thermos’ before thrusting the other at him. “Here.  Black like your soul.”

Rowan stared at the thermos for a minute before he accepted it. “Thanks?”

The morning was dark, not even the horizon had started lighting, yet Rowan could still see the amusement playing in Aelin’s eyes as she watched him.  Her hair hung in a long braid over one shoulder, a few tendrils escaped around her temples.  She didn’t wear any makeup and still there was something so striking about the way she looked.

“It’s not poisoned,” she prompted.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, taking a sip of the coffee.  It was strong and bitter, just as he liked.

“You said I’d need to help pick up the slack,” she said, following him as he walked to his truck. “So here I am.”

If he were being honest, Rowan was surprised.  Aelin had never stuck him as the type to do manual labor.  Or really work for that matter.  Her wealth and status had been obvious the first time he’d met her.  Then there was the car, the designer clothes, the manicures.  When he’d hired her, all he’d received were glowing referrals.  Another surprise.  Even now he was still trying to reconcile his initial impressions of her to who she really was.

“Here you are,” Rowan agreed.  He gave her another once over, unable to help but notice the curve of her hips beneath the open flannel.  Dammit.

Shaking his head, he unlocked the truck.  He could practically hear his mother yelling at him for not opening Aelin’s door for her, but his hands were full.  Besides, Aelin didn’t seem to notice.  She hopped up into the front seat.  Her movements were graceful and easy as though she’d done so a hundred times before.

Rowan settled into his own seat and started the truck up.  There was a small layer of frost on the windshield waiting for them.  His least favorite part of the day was waiting for the heater to get into gear and finally warm up.

“Are you always up so early?” Aelin asked suddenly.  She was huddled in her seat, staving off the chill which was the only thing about the early hour that seemed to be bothering her.

“Yeah,” Rowan said. “Unless Lorcan’s going to be in early.  But I told him to take the later shift until he comes in for your event.”

Aelin hummed at that as she took a long sip of her own coffee. “Interesting.  You should get more sleep.  It’s good for you.”

“I’m in the wrong business for that, princess,” he muttered.

“Don’t call me that,” Aelin said.  She cut him a glare, her lip curling slightly.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because.”  Another sip of her coffee.

Rowan said nothing and tried clearing the windshield.  It cleared well enough.  He at least wouldn’t be out on the open road, so a few skiffs of remaining ice weren’t the end of the world.  Putting the truck in gear, he backed up a bit before turning.

“Are you always such a morning person?” he asked as they headed down the long drive.

“Hell no.” Aelin made a face. “If I had it my way I wouldn’t get out of bed until noon.  This is my second round of coffee.  Do you have any idea how much I am not looking forward to today?  It’s going to be miserable.  The worst.  I hate mornings.”

She spoke with such vehemence that Rowan wondered if there really was a way for morning to be such a real entity for someone to hate.  It was also amusing, especially the way her nose crinkled in disgust.

“It’s a beautiful morning,” he said, clearing his throat. “You can’t hate that.”

“It’s pitch black and I can see my breath,” she deadpanned.  Sighing she adjusted in her seat. “C’mon, buzzard, you wouldn’t rather be in bed still?  All warm and snuggled up?”

“No,” he said.

Aelin chuckled in that nonsense sort of way she had. “Hmm, right.  Even you have to admit a lazy morning in is fun.  With the right company.”

Rowan stared staunchly forward.  Though, he could still see that insufferable grin of Aelin’s out of the corner of his eye. 

“Ignoring me now?” she pressed.

The sight of the stables had never been more glorious.

“No, you’re just impossible.”

“Thank-you.”

Rowan parked the truck in its usual spot and tried hard not to smile.  He settled with an eye roll.

“Let’s go buzzard,” Aelin said.  She threw the door open and hopped out of the truck. “Show me the ropes.”

If there was one thing Rowan knew to be true—it was going to be a long day.  Though as he clambered out of the truck himself, the thought didn’t seem as heavy as it once may have been.

…

In the end, the day wasn’t bad.  In fact, things ran far smoother than Rowan had been expecting.  He’d thought that by having Aelin shadowing him things would go a lot slower and he’d have trouble getting everything done, but she was a ready student.

She handled feed buckets with ease, tied perfect knots on the first try, she even mucked stalls without complaint.  If Rowan didn’t know any better, he’d have said she’d spent time in a barn before.  A lot of time.  She seemed to know her way around the equipment, knew the terms, and sometimes reacted before he even needed to give instruction.

When he tried to ask her about it, she told him he was insane.  

It wasn’t the first time someone had lied to him, but he figured it wasn’t worth trying to needle the information out of her.

The routine continued for the rest of the week.  Aelin would be at the ranch first thing in the morning with coffee and they’d work all day together until dinner when they’d return to the main house.  

“You know you still have a room in the house, right?” Rowan asked one morning. “You don’t have to do this back and forth.”

“Oh,” Aelin looked out her window as they passed familiar pastures. “I guess…I figured you wouldn’t want me there?  Sellene’s gone and all, why not have the place to yourself?”

It was true, Rowan often enjoyed his time alone unless he went into town to have a drink with Lorcan, Fenrys, and Connall.  A recluse, Aelin had called him on occasion.

The strange thing about it was…Rowan didn’t think he would have minded Aelin being around more.  She drove him mad, more often than not, but even in the last few weeks (days really) there had been a subtle shift.  One that he didn’t know how to identify.

“Your friend is coming with the new group of kids, right?” Shifting the conversation seemed the safer option so he didn’t hesitate.

“She and her husband,” Aelin agreed, he didn’t miss the look she gave him. “They were planning on staying at the house, if that’s still alright?”

“Yeah, we’ve got plenty of space,” Rowan said.  The house was enormous with five separate rooms and four bathrooms.  His great-grandfather had always wanted a home to welcome as many guests as possible so new additions were added on continuously in the early years.  His own parents had hoped to keep the house full of children.  In the end, it was only Rowan who waged war upon the floorboards.

Aelin nodded absently, her fingers drumming on her thermos absently. “I’ll come up with them and stay the week before and during.”

“Alright,” Rowan said.  The drive to the stables that morning was the same as ever with only another light dusting of snow falling from the sky.  As late December encroached, it wouldn’t surprise him if they were due for a storm.

“They’ll be coming tomorrow, I think,” Aelin said, “Lys and Aedion.”

Rowan started. “Aedion Ashryver?”

In her seat, Aelin visibly flinched.  She covered it almost seamlessly as she tossed her hair over her shoulder and sat up a little straighter.

“He’s an ass,” Aelin told him. “Though, very good looking.”

Rowan could only stare.  The Ashryvers were practically celebrities in the world of horses and ranch work.  Evalin and her sister Andra made waves when they were young for their work in showing horses, not just in contemporary riding, but racing, and rodeo.  They’d set a standard for those that would come after as they changed the equestrian world for years to come.

He didn’t know much of what had happened to either woman after they’d aged out.  Only that they continued to run a ranch out in the countryside of Terrasen for breeding and training.  He knew there had been a scandal of some sort five or six years ago involving a rider and a trainer, but the story evaded him.

When they got to the stables, Lorcan’s own truck was already there and he’d turned on the floodlights to help beckon in the rising dawn.  They were still a week out from when the Christmas group of kids would come, so Lorcan shouldn’t have even been there.

Rowan glanced at Aelin who didn’t seem the least bit surprised at the sight.

“How did you get him to agree to this?” Rowan asked.

“I can be very convincing,” Aelin replied simply. “And Elide.”

Not sure he wanted to know the full details in that, Rowan let the rest of the conversation drop.

As always, Lorcan remained in his quiet way.  He went about his usual duties without comment, only nodding in acknowledgment as Rowan and Aelin entered the stables.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping in?” Rowan asked.  He rested his keys on the rack beside the doors, not yet ready to take off his coat to the morning chill.

“Couldn’t,” Lorcan replied with a shrug.  He nodded to Aelin. “Regretting your choices yet?”

“Nope.”  Aelin smiled brightly.  She took a long sip of her coffee and went to the row of shelves reserved for personal items.  

Lorcan shot Rowan a look that he ignored.  They’d had plenty of conversations about Aelin and the week she had planned for the holiday.  Besides, if Lorcan couldn’t say no to Aelin (even if Elide wasn’t a factor) they were both idiots.

Knowing better than to try and tease Lorcan about how quickly he’d fallen for Elide, he crossed the stables to where his friend was working on preparing some equipment.

“What’ve you already taken care of?” He and Aelin had gotten a slightly late start for the day--a mix of him waking up late and the frost and Aelin needing to steal breakfast from him. 

“Not much,” Lorcan admitted, “everything’s pretty much good.  The vet’s coming around for check-ups this afternoon.”

“Do you know how the cabins are looking?”

Lorcan shrugged. “Probably about the same as when the last group left.”

That shouldn’t have surprised him. “We’ll go take a look then come back to help prep for the vet visit.”

“Sure,” Lorcan said.  He glanced to where Aelin was kneeling before the ranch pig, dubbed Ex because it had been Endymion’s turn to pick a name.  The finalists of names fell between Frank and Excali-wilbur and Endymion did not disappoint.  “Have you told her yet?”

Rowan scowled. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Sure,” Lorcan said, scraping off a bit of dirt from an old bridle set. “Keep telling yourself that.”

The words sat heavy with Rowan the rest of the day.  He knew that Lorcan just liked screwing with him on occasion.  But there was also a part of him that worried if there was truth to Lorcan’s ominous words.  He really didn’t see what it mattered though--whether he was going to sell the ranch or not was his own business.

He really didn’t see what the difference was if he continued to owned the ranch or not.  Sellene and Endymion hadn’t expressed any in taking the land over for themselves and they were the only living relatives Rowan knew about.  Theirs were the only opinions that mattered.

Still, by the time he and Aelin finished getting the cabins ready for the guests in the coming weeks, he couldn’t help but feel a niggling sense of guilt.  He kept tamping it down of course.

It wasn’t until mid-day that the vet came around that Rowan was finally able to turn his thoughts in different directions.  They had two pregnant mares in the stables that year which was the biggest concern Rowan had.  They’d both foaled before but there was still plenty of room for things to go wrong.  Besides them, there were six other horses to be looked over.  It was usually a two-day affair, especially when weather got a little dodgy, but the vet seemed confident they’d finish up by the end of the day.

While the vet was in with Farasha, Rowan realized he hadn’t seen Aelin for a bit.  He might have had his misgivings about her, but she’d proven herself to be responsible and attentive in all her recent duties.  Even if she didn’t like horses.

Rowan glanced around the main floor of the stables before heading to the back stalls where the two pregnant mare’s were settled.  It was the warmest part of the large barn with the largest stalls.  His boots scuffed in a bit of hay as he went and he almost missed the soft voice talking to the horses.

Diana and Hessina, thankfully got along alright.  Sometimes pregnant mares could get a little feisty with each other, but the two had been inseparable when they’d been born the same season almost six years ago now.  Rowan remembered the day.

He stopped just outside Hessina’s stall and what he saw made him question just about everything he thought he knew.

Standing in Hessina’s stall with a set of brushes and other items was Aelin.  She carefully ran a curry brush over Hessina’s coat in methodic movements.  All the while she continued to talk softly to the mare.

“Alright, mama,” Aelin said, “let’s get you cleaned up.  You deserve it don’t you?  Especially before baby gets here, huh?  Look at you so pretty standing here for me.”

For a minute, Rowan thought he’d wandered into an alternate reality.  In all the months of her being on the ranch, Aelin had never approached one of the horses so willingly.  She’d kept her distance from the barn and the animals beside the pig and the goats.  He’d never have expected her to spend time with any of the horses, let alone grooming them.  And doing so with obvious practice and ease.

“I thought you hated horses?” he found himself saying.

Aelin froze.  It was the first time he’d ever caught her off guard.

“I never said that,” she replied.  She traded out brushes and ran a shedding blade over Hessina next. 

“You’ve never spent more than a minute with any of the horses in all the time you’ve been here,” Rowan said.

He entered the stall and grabbed a brush to use on Hessina’s mane.  Somehow, no matter what he or any of the stable hands tried, the long hair always got tangled even if they were careful to brush it the day before.

“That doesn’t mean I hate them,” Aelin said.  Her voice was soft, lilting in that way she’d used when she was addressing Hessina specifically. “Not when they’re such pretty girls.”

Her long fingers ran over Hessina’s sides, pausing over the swell of the mare’s belly.  It seemed as though she knew exactly how to handle a horse.  Or at least where to massage a pregnant mare’s muscles effectively or how to run a flat brush over the coat to leave it gleaming.  Truth be told, he’d never seen Hessina looked as relaxed as she did now under Aelin’s ministrations.  No matter what Aelin said, she was a natural.

Rowan tugged at Hessina’s mane with as much care as he could.  But he noted the twitch of her ears.

“Sorry,” he murmured, knowing he’d pulled too hard.  He glanced back to Aelin. “Seriously, you’ve never spent this much time with the horses before.  You know how to care for them.  And you can make a decent knot.  I thought you were a city girl?”

Aelin shrugged, walking to Hessina’s other side. “I am a city girl.”

“No.” Rowan shook his head. “There’s more to you than that.”

They stood across from each other now, more or less.  And Aelin wouldn’t meet his gaze as she brushed out Hessina’s other side.  Her lips thinned and Rowan knew she was thinking deeply on something.  

“I used to read all the horse books I could,” she finally said, “made my mom buy them all for me.  I had a whole bookshelf devoted to them.  And then I grew up.”

Her hands paused, fingers grazing over a few stray bits of Hessina’s mane.  A stray thought took her mind far away from that place.  Far enough that she stopped brushing entirely.  Hessina took offense to that and nickered, dipping her head back towards Aelin.

Chuckling, Aelin reached out and scratched the mare’s nose before she continued brushing.

“What about you, Whitethorn,” she asked, blue eyes sparking with delight as she finally looked at him. “Were you always in a horse boy phase or did it come suddenly?”

He rolled his eyes. “I grew up on this ranch, it’s all I know.”

Aelin paused at his words.  She looked as though she wanted to something, but the words were lost on her.  Instead, she shook her head and nodded at his work.

“You’re making that worse, aren’t you?”

“No,” he said defensively.

No matter what he said though, Aelin came over to take a look at the work he was doing on the mane.

“A girl’s pride is in her hair,” she said, whether to him or Hessina, Rowan had no idea.  

He could only watch as Aelin took over detangling and brushing.  Her hands were soft as she tugged and brushed.  Occasionally she would murmur something and give the mare an affectionate pat on the neck.

What he didn’t notice was how close he and Aelin were standing, not at first.  But the second he realized it; it was all he could think about.  He could feel the warmth radiating off of her and he could still smell the lemon verbena of her shampoo in her hair.  Even with the bit of sweat and dirt that lingered on her skin.

There was something about watching the methodical way she worked that was mesmerizing.  Nothing seemed to frustrate her as she went even when something didn’t detangle immediately or if she had to make a bigger mess in order to get things right.  She would only hum under her breath and continue.

“Do you—” she began to speak and spun almost directly into him.  She made a small noise of surprise and stumbled just a bit before Rowan reached out to steady her.  “Hell.  Sorry.”

She blinked up at him with those bright blue eyes and he noticed a ring of gold around the pupils adding to that light that always seemed to illuminate her.

Gripping her arms, he waited until she regained her footing before slowly pulling away.

“You good?”

Aelin nodded; mouth parted slightly as though she were about to say something.

The illusion shattered when Lorcan called out from the main stable.

“Whitethorn, get out here!”

It was probably better that way—for Rowan to leave Aelin there.  She turned back to Hessina and kept talking with those soft words and gentle inflections.  Whatever spell had been over them was long gone.  Though that was for the better.  Rowan didn’t need to get close to Aelin.  Not now.

So, he tried to forget about the last ten minutes and went to help Lorcan with whatever it was he needed.

…

When she was eighteen, Aelin had her first serious crush.

It was different than all the other little sparks she’d ever gotten before.  It was different, new, and completely reckless.  Oh, she’d never acted on it, not exactly.  And maybe it was better that way.  Because in the coming year (and several years after) Aelin would come to realize that boys, men, would never treat her well.  Especially not the ones that had country written into their bones.

So when she came to Whitethorn ranch at the beginning of the summer, she’d told herself it was for the experience.  It was for the work she loved.  It was for the kids who needed help.

And then there was Rowan.

They’d clashed the entirety of their working relationship and Aelin really didn’t know how she’d lasted as long as she did.  And here she was now, on the brink December and the New Year right around the corner.  

She sighed and straightened the small room designated for her at the main house.  Rowan had let her off for the two days leading up to the main camp days when Lysandra and Aedion would be arriving.  

The room was the next biggest aside from the master suite that Rowan slept in.  With its own bathroom and the large window that overlooked the back western side of the ranch with the mountains in the distance—Aelin loved it.

It was already decorated with a few things of the Whitethorn family.  A few black and white photos from the early days, hand embroidery frames, and a few porcelain figures in the inlaid shelving.  It was simple and homey and for whatever reason, Aelin didn’t feel the need to change anything.  Except for the piles of books and a few pictures of her own family.

As she straightened things up, and prepared the bedroom across the hall for Lys and Aedion, she couldn’t help but think of the last few days with Rowan.

She didn’t know how it was possible, but they hadn’t killed each other.  There weren’t even any attempts.  Sure, their words held just as many barbs as before, but it felt different.  Or maybe she was just hoping there was something different.  

For as much as she complained about how small Oakwald was and how difficult working on the ranch and the therapy work here was--she wanted to make this home.  She wanted this to be a place she could put down roots.  Here, no one knew her past.  No one knew who her family was.  No one knew every little detail about who she was other than simple being Aelin.

Her phone started ringing at the same time a series of honks echoed from the front of the house.  Grinning, Aelin answered the phone already knowing who was on the other line.

“Are you here?” she demanded.

“Bitch, what do you think?” Lysandra said on the other line.  In the background Aelin could hear Aedion: stop honking the horn, Lys.  She knows.

“I’ll be down in a second,” Aelin chuckled.

She flew from her room and down the stairs of the house.  She barely bothered with the slippers waiting by the front door before she threw the front door open.

The SUV hadn’t even come to a full stop before the passenger door opened and Lysandra got out.  Her long dark hair hung loose and she wore a simple gray sweater and jeans.  She screamed when she saw Aelin and ran across the yard toward her.

Aelin met her halfway, pulling her friend into a hug.

“I’ve missed you so much!” Lysandra was saying as she continued to hug Aelin. “It’s been so boring without you.”

“I’m sorry I left you alone with Aedion,” Aelin teased.  She pulled back, grinning.

Aedion huffed as he came around the SUV.  His blond hair, so similar to Aelin’s, long enough to just barely fit into a low tie, his handsome features slightly distorted with a scowl.

“I love you too, Aelin,” he said, trying and failing to hold his disapproving look.

Aelin launched herself at her cousin.  It had been a while since they’d seen each other between work and distance.  But she was grateful he had chosen to come and help both her and Lys.

“You do love me,” she insisted, “I introduced you to your wife, after all.”

Aedion pulled back with a roll of his eyes. “Yes, I’m forever in your debt.”

“I know,” Aelin said seriously.  She then turned and linked arms with Lysandra. “C’mon, I’ve got a room ready for you.”

Her friend didn’t immediately follow through, instead turning in the cold morning air, taking in the sweeping blue skies and acres and acres of land surrounding them.

“Seriously, Aelin, where are we?  This feels like a step out of time.”

She’d thought the same thing when first arriving. “It’s better in summer and you're not freezing your butt off.”

Indeed, during the winter the sun could be out and bright and happy like it was now, but it was still cold enough to want to literally crawl into a fireplace and never come back out like some sort of dragon.  

Aedion offered to get the bags, letting Aelin and Lysandra head up to the house.

“So,” Lysandra said as they went to the kitchen. “Where’s Rowan?”

Aelin rolled her eyes. “He’s at the stables finishing things up.”

“But he’ll be here later?” Lysandra pressed; one brow raised.

“Yes.”

“And you’ve been sleeping under the same roof and nothing’s happened?” Lysandra scoffed and accepted a proffered glass of water.

“Please, Lys, he’s my boss.  And an ass.” Aelin turned to find snacks or something else to offer while her cheeks flushed at Lysandra’s words.

“Mm-hm,” Lysandra hummed with obvious doubt.  “I’ve looked him up, he’s hot.”

“Lysandra!” Aelin spun on her friend who let out a cackle. 

“You should see your face,” Lysandra laughed. “You know I’m right.”

“He’s made my life miserable,” Aelin said, “and, like I said, he’s an ass.”

“Right.”  Lysandra merely sipped her water and sighed. “You keep saying that.”

Much to Aelin’s appreciation, Aedion entered the house, bags in hand.  She left Lysandra in the kitchen and showed Aedion to the room she’d set up for the two of them.  It was the one room just a little more isolated than the others, but that just made it feel a little cozier.  Which she didn’t think they’d mind.

From there, the rest of the day was relatively nice.  Even with Lysandra’s continued teasing about Rowan.  Thankfully, she kept most of it up when Aedion wasn’t around.

Aelin gave them a tour of the house and immediate grounds before heading out to the cabins reserved for the kids that would be arriving in the next several days.

She and Lysandra were able to go over the various activities and group sessions and plan out where each would take place and how transport would work.  Thankfully, the main house was a good central point and should the weather stay nice, walking wouldn’t be an issue.

“There’s supposed to be a storm,” Aelin said at one point, “but they’ve been saying it would happen for two weeks now, and nothing.  I think it’ll just hit Denver and move on.”

That was the hope.  But Aelin wouldn’t let herself worry about a snow storm right now.  They had a contingency plan in place, but the weather had been cooperating thus far that she doubted it would be an issue.

Later that night as they were fixing dinner, Aedion broke out his excellent cooking skills with a chicken and vegetable skillet, Rowan finally returned home. 

“Welcome back, Buzzard!” Aelin called when she heard the door open and shut.  She also heard the way he paused while trying to decide if he could get out of being social. “We just made dinner, come join us.”

Lysandra shot her a look, but Aelin ignored it.  Instead, she got an extra plate ready as Rowan slowly trudged into the kitchen.

“This is Lysandra and Aedion,” Aelin said, “Lys founded the group that we’re hosting next week.  And her husband, Aedion, is the muscle.”

She didn’t know why she didn’t mention that Aedion was her cousin, but the admission just felt off.  Aelin had spent so long distancing herself from her mother’s name and the attention that it got that it just felt natural not to bring it up.  Besides, that wasn’t the point of this visit or the event they’d worked so hard on.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Rowan said, he didn’t smile, but Aelin supposed him joining them all for dinner was good enough.

“We’re just running through the week,” Aelin said.  She handed him his plate which he accepted. “Is there anything you wanted to talk about with the itinerary I gave you?”

Rowan didn’t answer immediately.  He settled in his seat next to her and took a bite of his food, thinking.  Or just avoiding talking.

“Nah,” he said after a minute. “Everything looks fine.  There’s going to be ten kids in total?”

“Maybe eight,” Lysandra spoke up, “it’s a little hard to get exact numbers right now.  Some kids are being shuffled so close to the holidays and their guardians are being…difficult.” She made a disgruntled sort of face. “But I know for sure eight of them are ready to go.  The other two we’re waiting on some consent forms.”

It wasn’t anything surprising to Aelin. But they would make the best of it and hopefully all the kids they’d planned for would come.

“There’s plenty of room no matter who chooses to come,” Rowan said, “so that’s not a problem.”

“You said you’re not going to be around on the Friday after Christmas though, right?” Aelin asked.  He hadn’t told her why or what he was doing, just that there was business on the ranch that needed taking care of.  She thought better than asking for more details especially when he was so guarded about the affair in general.

Rowan paused for a heartbeat in his ravenous eating and Aelin almost wouldn’t have noticed if not for the way his eyes skirted to hers and dipped away just as quickly.

“I’ve got a meeting planned most of the day,” he said, “but if anything goes wrong—”

“They’ll be fine.” Aedion spoke up with a wave of his hand. “If there’s anyone who knows how to embrace chaos to her advantage it’s Aelin.”

Aelin rolled her eyes, passing the water pitcher around the table. “I stole my dad’s truck once and it worked out fine.”

“I’m talking about the time you set off all those fireworks and nearly set the house on fire, but thanks for proving my point.”  Aedion grinned at her glare.

Rowan only shook his head from beside her. “What the hell kind of childhood did you have?”

“Normal, perfectly normal.” Aelin said.  Desperate to keep the conversation moving and away from any revelation of how she and Aedion were related, she kept talking.  “Besides, none of that will be happening this week.  I didn’t have time to find any fireworks.”

“Please,” Lysandra said, “you don’t even try not to cause problems.  Remember in college you stole that frats keg?”

“Because Archer Finn plagiarized my report on Edgar Allen--you know, he was an ass that’s all that matters.” Aelin had done a lot of questionable things in the name of justice.  But stealing that keg was damn near the top of the list considering the fact she nabbed it in the middle of the biggest party of the semester.  Truly remarkable. “So it was less of a problem and more karma calling his name.”

“So,” Rowan said, glancing over at her, “you really have been a menace all these years?”

She should have been affronted by his teasing but with the way he was actually smiling with amusement burning in his eyes and the levity of the night—Aelin found she couldn’t be mad.  Because here, for this small moment, Aelin wasn’t scared about what the future might hold.

…

Despite the teasing of her cousin and Lysandra, Aelin really did exist best in chaos.  She wasn’t at all intimidated when the week officially started for the outreach program.  She didn’t even have panicked stress dreams about it either.  Everything had been planned out in detail.  It was going to be a success.

And everything her friends had done to help make it possible just warmed Aelin all the more.  Between all that Lysandra and Aedion did on their end, to Elide volunteering her days when she wasn’t needed at the bar, and Lorcan willfully helping out (through whatever bribery Elide had offered), everything started off without a hitch.

The thing about therapy that Aelin loved the most was the breakthroughs.  The understanding that came with trauma and healing.  It was often a long hard journey, but it happened.  And when you worked with kids?  It made the work all the better.

The week wouldn’t be focused on the talk therapy of it all though.  Mostly they’d be going on hikes, cooking in the main house, learning about the horses and caring for them, and then a little of the therapy side.  This week was about feeling safe and finding joy in an otherwise hard spot of life and Aelin was determined to help offer that bit of peace.

After all the kids arrived, twelve total and ranging from twelve to seventeen years old, everything continued as expected.  The kids were paired off closer to their ages into the two different cabins and it all seemed to be working for the best.

Aelin found that two of the younger kids, Evangeline and Luca, were the more hesitant of being there.  Despite Luca’s outgoing nature, Aelin could tell there was a bit of worry in his attitude as he always seemed to look to her for approval in any of the activities they did.  Evangeline always sidled over to Lysandra.  It wasn’t a strange occurrence, just one they needed to be careful with.

Though, if Aelin knew Lysandra like she did, her friend had done work with Evangeline before and was fiercely protective of her now.  

“How many s’mores can these kids eat?” Rowan asked one night.

They were having an outdoor campfire with s’mores and other treats while Elide of all people told scary stories.

“Sugar is an essential food group, buzzard,” Aelin reminded him, “especially for teens.”

They stood just a bit away from the fire pit outside two of the cabins, just far enough away to not be distracting.  It was Thursday meaning the week would officially finish out on Monday and the ranch would be able to return to its usual winter hours and day to day functions.  Aelin was a little upset by the idea, but she was sure Rowan was as giddy as he could be over the prospect.

“I thought that was just you,” Rowan said.

Aelin kicked him with the toe of her boot.  If her hands hadn’t been stuffed into the pockets of her coat, she might have flipped him off.

“Ha, ha,” she said. 

“Seriously,” Rowan continued, “I’ve seen the stash you think you’re hiding in the kitchen.”

“Chocolate is good for the soul,” Aelin sniffed, “and I recommend the occasional indulgence as a therapist.”

Rowan shook his head, looking out over the fields behind them.  A ghost of a smile fell across his lips and even in the flickering shadows of the fire, Aelin thought it was the most beautiful sight.

“Occasional indulgence, sure,” he murmured. 

“We can’t all love kale as much as you do,” Aelin said.  She’d seen what he came home with from the store.  Kale and zucchini and any myriad of health foods.

He only smiled at her and Aelin felt it like a punch to the gut.  She had no idea what had happened in the last few weeks, but somewhere along the way the loathing had simmered away to…appreciation?  Admiration?  Whatever the feeling was, she didn’t know where it came from, but it was here all the same.

“Thank-you for agreeing to this Rowan,” she said, before she could lose her nerve. “For agreeing to let us host this week and letting these kids come here.  I know it’s not the most convenient thing.  But I know it means a lot to them.”

And me, she added silently.

His smile fell just a touch. “Aelin—”

Whatever else he was about to say was swallowed up by Lysandra announcing it was time to head off to bed.  The quiet contentment of the night disbanded as the kids all voiced their complaints and pleads for another story.  Apparently Elide’s tales about bloodthirsty witches were all the rage.

But it was well nearing eleven and they’d all been up late enough as it was and Aelin herself was exhausted.  They rounded everybody up and had them filter off to their cabins.  Elide and Lorcan would serve as chaperones that night, giving Lysandra and Aedion a break.

Hopefully it would put a stop to a small issue growing between Luca and one of the other boys, Aelin didn’t know all the details as Luca refused to talk further about it, but she was worried nonetheless.  And even if she wasn’t sure about the idea of Lorcan as a chaperone, Rowan assured her that he was surprisingly good with kids.  Aelin decided she would trust Rowan on that front, and let the issue slide.  For now.

…

Friday dawned dark and chilly.  The sky was full of gray clouds that stretched as far as the eye could see.  It made Aelin feel boxed in even if there was still just as much open air as before.  But those clouds hung low and didn’t budge.

She tried to not let it bother her, it was bound to happen eventually.  And in this area the weather was always changing.  By the afternoon there would be a break in the clouds and the sun would return.  Or else they’d just get a light skiff of snow.

The day was being treated as a small rest day, of sorts.  The kids had helped cook breakfast for everyone, played a few games outside, and they were now headed out to the stables to help build a shed for the goats.  

It was less of build and more of a supervision.  If the kids wanted to help they could, if not, Aelin had it on good authority the goats enjoyed chasing people as a game.  Plus, one of the stable hands that had volunteered to help out was a master sling-shot expert and could take the kids to the side of the barn to practice their skills (on non-living targets).  

They got to the stables just after lunch and clean-up.  This was going to fill most of the rest of the day and then lead into a few individual sessions with the kids.  No one had mentioned that it was Christmas or anything of the sort and none of the kids seemed to be having any major issues.  But Aelin wanted to have a chance to talk with them and see if this week had helped them at all.  From what she could tell it hadn’t done any irreparable damage, but kids could be excellent at masking their emotions if they really wanted to.

As the building commenced, Aelin took note of Rowan’s truck outside the stables in its usual spot.  Beside it was another car, a Tesla of all things.  She’d thought Rowan was supposed to be in a business meeting, not at the stables.

She made sure the kids were all occupied doing what they were supposed to, or at least just having fun, before she walked over to where Lorcan was exchanging water for one of the troughs.

“Is Rowan here today?” she asked without preamble.

Lorcan raised a brow and leaned against the fence, balancing the empty blue water barrel beside him.  “What?”

“Rowan,” she said, gesturing to his truck. “I didn’t think he would be on the property today.”

Looking away from her, Lorcan ran a hand over his jaw.  It was obvious he was trying to decide what to say exactly and that made trepidation rise in Aelin’s throat.

“He’s here, I can’t tell you more than that though.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Lorcan said, pushing off of the fence, “that you can talk to Rowan about it.”

He walked away then, leaving Aelin to mull over the words that she already didn’t like.  She watched him trek back to the stables and a part of her expected to see Rowan walking out as though waiting for that exact moment.

It was foolish, she knew.  Whatever worry was gnawing at her gut was unfounded and she didn’t need to get caught up on this.

Aelin forced herself back to where the kids were helping out with nails and plywood, a few had wandered off to stack crates together which the goats started climbing on with ease.  She came to a stop beside Lysandra, stuffing her hands into her coat against another stiff breeze.  The air smelled cold, if that could even be a scent.  But she didn’t know how else to describe that stiff, clean sterility.

“What’s up?” Lysandra asked, leaning into her.

“Nothing,” Aelin replied, glancing one more time at the stables.  “Nothing, it’s fine.”

Lysandra didn’t look convinced.  She remained quiet though as she returned her attention out to the paddock of goats and kids.

Aelin did her best to try and pay attention to the kids and offer encouragement and commentary where needed, but her mind was elsewhere.  Which, she knew was stupid.  She shouldn’t be thinking about Rowan and what was going on with him and his “business meeting” if that’s what was really going on.  And she shouldn’t even care whether or not it was for business.  Right?

A part of her did care though.  A part of her wondered what his meeting was about and why he hadn’t gone into detail about it with her.  She knew they weren’t technically business partners, but she did a lot of work for him all the same.  And the things that she did were specific to the business and therapy modem that Whitethorn ranch was known for.  Shouldn’t she be at least a little involved?

Half an hour later, Aelin had almost completely distracted herself until she heard the sound of Rowan’s low voice.  She spun towards it, already knowing what she would say to him.  But the second she turned it wasn’t Rowan that caught her attention.  It was the well-dressed man walking beside him.

Aelin felt her entire body seize up as a cold numbness swept through her.  Static crackled in her ears and her mouth went dry.

Because there beside Rowan was the man who had ruined Aelin’s life.

With auburn hair hanging loose around his face and gray suit that never seemed to wrinkle or stain--Arobynn Hamel looked the same as the day Aelin last saw him.  She still hadn’t been released from the hospital after the accident, still unsure if she’d be able to walk again, and still unsure what her life would look like.  But she’d held on to hope.  She’d held on long enough for him to come and place blame directly on her shoulders before sauntering away as though he couldn’t have cared less about what happened to her.

She’d been nineteen then.  Nineteen and convinced that he was supposed to be the answer to all her problems.  That was the thing about glorifying people when you were a kid, you never understood just what a dangerous game that was.

She tried reaching out for Lysandra, but her friend had entered the goat paddock to help hold a few boards in place.  She was alone.  Alone and watching the second Arobynn saw her.  He immediately made a b-line towards her.

“Well, well,” Arobynn said as he approached.  Just as he’d always been, he had that cold arrogance about him.  It was the same sort of swagger than everyone in their circles had.  The kind of money and stature, that he was better than everyone else around him.  He had to be in his mid-thirties now.  Though, he didn’t look it.  He was just as handsome as ever. “Aelin.  What a pleasant surprise.”

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer.  Swallow and look past that perfectly charming smile he wore. “Hamel.  What are you doing here?”

Arobynn merely smiled, stretching his arms. “You don’t know?  Rowan and I are in the midst of a business deal.”

Behind Arobynn, Rowan appeared.  He looked just the same as he always did: brooding, stoic, and pissed to hell and back.  His green eyes flicked between Aelin and Arobynn, scowl deepening.

Aelin felt the pit in her stomach grow and she swore she was going to vomit.  She did her best to remain in control of her emotions as she looked at Rowan.

“What deal, Rowan?” she asked.  Though, she already knew the answer, didn't she?

“I’m buying the land,” Arobynn answered before Rowan could. “I’ve been expanding my business, didn’t you know?”

No, she didn’t.  Because Aelin had done everything in her power to avoid anything that had to do with Hamel in the last several years.  

As though sensing her distress, Arobynn flashed another sharp smile. “I look forward to working with you again, Aelin.  Just like old times, isn’t it?”

There was nothing she could say.  She couldn’t trust herself not to yell or scream or cry or any combination of the three.  That would be showing weakness.  And she was not weak.

“I’ll have my attorney look over your offer,” Rowan said quietly, drawing Hamel’s attention again. “We’ll be in contact.”

“Good,” Arobynn said, “I’d rather see this done sooner than later.  Whitethorn.”

Without any semblance of pleasantries, Arobynn left them and returned to his car.  That stupid silver Tesla that looked like a box and had no business being out on a farm.  For all Aelin cared it could go crash in a borough and get waylaid by hay and snow.  It wasn’t until the car silently pulled away and back down that Aelin felt her own voice return.

“You’re selling?” It was more of an accusation than anything.

Rowan straightened; arms still crossed over his chest. “Yes.”

“Why?” At least her voice wasn’t shaking.  At least she still sounded somewhat in control.

“Because I have to,” Rowan replied, but he looked away from her and Aelin knew that wasn’t the truth of it. “The why doesn’t even matter Aelin, you wouldn’t understand.”

A laugh escaped her.  Of course she wouldn’t.  Because she’d only been here a few short months, she wasn’t really a part of the life here or any of where the ranch had come from.  But she’d still put her blood, sweat, and tears into the ranch.  She’d wanted to see it succeed, that’s why Rowan had even hired her as a part time trauma specialist, wasn’t it?

“I know enough about this place,” she said, “it’s a staple of the community, of honest good work that no one else does, Rowan.  I know that much.  I understand that much.  That it’s helped more people get unstuck from life than just about any other program I’ve seen.”

He only shook his head, hand running through his hair.  The silver locks fell over his brow and for a moment, for one brief moment, Aelin thought she saw a part of him that she could reconcile with.  A softer allusion of the hard contours that Rowan often displayed.

“My reasons are my own,” he said firmly.  His eyes sparked with anger as he watched her. “And it doesn’t really matter beyond that. I can't keep doing this.  And--why do you even care?  It won’t even affect you that much.  Hamel’s going to keep it as a horse ranch mostly, and agrees with the work going on.  I don't think he'd change much.  He obviously likes you, so you can do whatever you want.”

Aelin couldn’t hide her flinch.  She tucked her arms around her middle more as an effort of protection and hiding than anything else. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Please, Aelin.  You don’t need me here,” Rowan said, “this place will do well enough without me.”

“So you’re giving up?” She could only stare at him.  This wasn’t the Rowan Whitethorn she’d come to know, the one that she fought with on a daily basis.  This was someone else entirely.

“It’s none of your business, Aelin.”

“I’m a part of this ranch, aren’t I?  I’ve been here for months, and for what?”

“I never asked you to stick around.”  Rowan let out an exasperated huff. 

“He’s not a good man, Rowan,” Aelin said.  Most of the fight had gone out of her, replaced with dread and pain. “You don’t want him buying this land, your home.”

“He’s rich, what does it matter?”  Rowan pressed. “He’ll be able to do more with this place than I ever could.”

Aelin could only shake her head.  Yes, Arobynn was rich.  Rich enough that he could whatever he wanted, consequences be damned.  She tilted her head up just in time to catch a snowflake on her cheek.  The small chill was electrifying on her hot skin.  Slowly, more flakes continued to fall, fat and thick it looked like the forecast had finally chosen to be right.

“I can’t do this,” she finally said, “I’m going to check on the kids.”

She didn’t wait for Rowan to try and call her back.  She didn’t realize until she was entering the goat paddock that she had wanted him to.

…

It wasn’t until later that night as the kids were eating that Aelin had a moment to talk with Lysandra.  The snow had picked up and continued to fall throughout the afternoon driving them all inside, which after a week full of activities and being outside continually--it was a welcome break.

They were inside one of the cabins, pizza and soda spread out for the kids to enjoy.  Almost everything about the day had gone well.  If you didn’t count the Hamel matter.  The distraction and reality of what her life was spiraling towards wasn’t the best way to head into individual sessions, but Aelin had learned long ago how to compartmentalize.

Now, she was able to feel a little more relaxed as she and Lysandra were able to sit back while the kids started a terrible round of UNO.

“He’s so lucky I didn’t see him,” Lysandra said around a mouthful of pizza. “I would have kicked him in the balls then dragged his ass around from the back of a tractor, you know I would’ve.”

“I know,” Aelin assured her.

She picked at her pizza, appetite long since gone.  All she could think about was the fact that she’d seen and spoken with Hamel.  And she’d survived it.  

It was strange, being faced with a reality you thought was finally put behind you.  But that was life, wasn’t it?  You just kept learning the same lesson over and over again.  She just wondered what she was supposed to learn this time around.

“Did he say anything to Rowan?” Lysandra asked. “Does Rowan know anything?”

“I hope not,” Aelin said.  That would just be icing on the cake.  

Her past was a mess as it was.  Rehashing it and telling her side of things after someone had already been exposed to the lies of the story—well it wouldn’t do any good.

Still, Aelin didn’t want to think that Rowan knew about what had transpired.  Or if he’d think any different about her over it.  Most people did when they learned the truth and even if she was mad at him, Aelin didn’t think she could bear Rowan looking at her any different.

The story began back when she was sixteen.  Sixteen and in the throes of series equestrian training.  And she wasn’t the type to show in the dressage.  Aelin was a competitive rider in barrel racing, jumping, and the grittier events.  Her former trainer had just moved and who was to fill the position than Arobynn Hamel.

His methods were brutal and his words were cruel.  But young as she was, Aelin could only see what he could make of her.  And her parents had been none the wiser either.

Even after the drugs and borderline abuse.

Aelin shook off the memories. “It doesn’t matter if Rowan knows or not, does it?  He isn’t going to stick around.  He made that clear.”

“Are you going to stay,” Lysandra asked.  Her voice was painfully soft and Aelin had a hard time meeting her friend’s eyes.

“No.  I can’t…I can’t be around Hamel again, Lys.”  Aelin set her uneaten pizza aside. “After everything…I thought I finally had a place, you know?  That this was a good fit for me.  Even if Rowan’s an ass and doesn’t like me.  I liked the work.”

“Maybe if you talked—”

“No.” Aelin shook her head, cutting Lysandra off before she could even begin. “Rowan won’t talk it out.  He’d just sell the place faster if it meant getting rid of me.”

Lysandra sighed. “I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit.”

Aelin narrowed her eyes. “Whose side are you on?”

Lysandra didn’t answer, instead waving as Elide walked through the door, leaving a blistering trail of snow outside behind her.

“I hope it’s alright to stop by,” Elide said with a smile.  She grabbed a piece of pizza and settled between Aelin and Lysandra. “Lorcan’s still finishing up at the stables.”

“Good,” Lysandra said, moving over so Elide had plenty of space. “We need to talk sense into Aelin.”

“I’m not a miracle worker, you know,” Elide replied.  She grinned all the same and nudged Aelin’s leg with her foot. “What kind of sense are we talking?”

Aelin groaned, shaking her head.  One of the counselors took a few of the kids to the other cabin to prepare for bed.  It was nearing that time where they would all turn in.  The growing storm outside made the night feel sleepy and dark.  Not that Aelin minded.  Sometimes a lazy night was just what she needed, especially when she could curl up with a book.

“Lysandra thinks I’m being too hard on Rowan for deciding to sell the ranch,” Aelin told Elide, careful about how loud she spoke.  She didn’t want to risk upsetting the remaining kids or the other counselors.

Elide’s eyes widened at the news.

“You can’t tell—” Aelin said quickly.  She shouldn’t have even told Lysandra about Rowan’s plans.  Even if Lorcan already knew about Rowan’s decision, it was just in bad form for Aelin to be gossiping out it.

“I won’t,” Elide assured her.  “I promise.”

What Aelin had done to deserve friends like Lysandra and Elide, she didn’t know.  As she tugged on the end of her braid she didn’t know where to begin.

“I know I don’t really have a hand in this ranch or can’t tell him what to do,” Aelin said, “but I’ve put so much work into it that…”

Aelin let her words trail off.  Did it really matter what she’d done?  He obviously didn’t care enough to listen to her.  She couldn’t care.  She shouldn’t.  Because in the end, she always came out alone.

She was going to tell her friends that she was fine and it didn’t matter when the shouting started from the other cabin.

--

Back at the main house, Rowan and Aedion were settling everything in for the night.  After baking four giant pizzas for the kids (delivery drivers refused to drive all the way out to the ranch and the weather had taken a bit of a chilly turn) they settled in to watch the latest football game.  

What he didn’t expect was for Aedion to strike up a conversation.  

“You know,” Aedion said as a commercial break started, “I’ve never seen a place like this ranch before, it’s pretty remarkable what you’ve done.”

Rowan really didn’t know if that was true.  All he’d done was come in after his grandparents and parents established everything for him.  The last few years it felt like he’d barely been treading water.  Until the last few months when Aelin had swept in with her binders and her plans and damned conspiratorial smile.

“I haven’t done much,” Rowan replied.  Mostly kept everything afloat as best he could. “It’s mostly been Aelin bringing things back to life.”

It really was an apt description of the woman.  She was vibrant in the way she approached everything she did.  Never did she let anything pass by that was half-hearted or untended.  Rather, she made sure it was taken care of properly.  It was probably what made the fall season so successful.  No…no probably about it, it was what made the season one of the best in several years.

“She does tend to do that, doesn't she?” Aedion laughed. “It’s annoying as hell, because then she thinks she’s always right.  Which, I mean, technically she is always right, but she can’t know that.  She’d be insufferable if we told her.”

Rowan shook his head in agreement.  Though, if he thought about it, Aelin had enough confidence that even if she were wrong about something she would make things work in the end.  She had the faith and the sheer force of will to see something accomplished that an obstacle was merely a stepping stone to what she wanted.

“So,” Rowan began, a thought occurring to him as he thought about his own understanding of Aelin. “How do you know Aelin?  I never got that story?”

That earned him an amused look from Aedion who sat up straighter.

“She’s an Ashryver, you know,” Aedion said slowly, “as in Rhoe and Evalin Ashryver Galathyinius.”

Rowan froze at the pronouncement and slowly, painful understanding washed over him. “What?”

In the chair across from him, Aedion shook his head, blond hair falling in his face.  

“Doesn’t surprise me that you didn’t know,” Aedion chuckled wryly. “She doesn’t use her mom’s name very much, considering...But yeah.  Ashryver-Galathynius.  We’re cousins, were raised together through just about anything.  I was there in all of Aelin’s training when she really got into the horse scene.  She was the national champion in racing and show three years in a row until the accident.”

Rowan could only stare blankly at Aedion.  He didn’t know how he’d missed the similarities, hell, their eyes were even the same.  Why wouldn’t Aelin say anything?  Especially when he had given her so much crap about being a city girl.  She could have shut him up without any effort.

Though, at Aedion’s mention of an accident, he remembered something vaguely happening in the world of showing and competition.  That side of the horse world was something he’d never stayed completely caught up in.  Especially not years ago when he’d been so busy with taking the ranch over.

“She was nineteen, it was going to be her fourth year in a row of winning that championship,” Aedion explained, “and she’d put herself through hell for it.  She kept herself in the best shape, hardly ate.  Was always training.  Her trainer—” a sour look flashed over Aedion’s face— “her trainer wouldn’t leave well enough alone and always pushed her further than anyone should go, not at that age.  It was never proven, but I’m pretty sure they slipped her drugs and the horse too because they were racing barrels which is Aelin’s best event and next thing you know the horse gets spooked and Aelin goes flying.”

Aedion paused, running a hand over his jaw as he stared into the fireplace. “It’s a miracle she wasn’t paralyzed.  Or worse.  Arobynn never even got a slap on the wrist for it.”

Rowan’s gut churned in a sickening way.  “Arobynn Hamel?”

The dark look in Aedion’s eyes was answer enough.

Rowan remembered all the times in the last several months of how he’d berated Aelin for her lack of knowledge on a ranch, how she shied away from the horses.  He’d accused her of so many things that he just hadn’t known about.

“She recovered eventually,” Aedion said, “but I don’t think she was ever the same.  She never got on a horse again after that.  But she volunteered a lot at various stables back in Terrasen or at those camps for kids with autism, y’know?  Kinda like what you do here.  And then she got her degree and has talked about applying for a doctorate.  Damn.  She was always going to become something.”

“I didn’t know, about her past, I mean,” Rowan murmured.  His fingers tightened on the drink in his hand, long forgotten in the conversation.

“It’s why she tends to drop her mom’s name,” Aedion said, he shot Rowan a wry smile. “She doesn’t want that to be all people associate with her.  Her parents love her, don’t get me wrong, but they always put so much pressure on her.  Rhoe and Evalin practically raised me too and I got the same treatment.  The Ashryvers aren’t known for weakness.”

If there was anything Rowan had learned in the past week, it was the truth of that sentence.  Aelin was so much more than the city girl he’d first thought her to be.  Everything she had done in her time on the ranch had been to help the kids and families that came through.  She had worked so hard to turn this place into a functioning therapy ranch and she’d done a damn good job at it.

And he’d gone on to sell the ranch.

Not that he really owed the explanation to anyone.  Sellene was guilt-tripping him enough as it was.  But he’d found the last few months to be more bearable.  Somehow.  Impossibly.  Even with Aelin being as difficult as she was sometimes.  But that was what he liked about her.  She challenged him.  She made plans and got things done.  She was fearless.

And he’d gone on to sell the ranch.

The one place she’d said made her feel like she was coming home.

“I need to--” Rowan began, already reaching for his phone so that he could call her.

He didn’t get far though when the front door opened with a loud thud.  Rowan was on his feet in an instant, for some reason thinking it would be Aelin.  Instead, it was Lysandra and Elide with a very distraught Evangeline.  The young girl had tears streaming down her cheeks and snow was still melting in her hair from the storm raging outside.

“What happened?” Rowan demanded, already sensing the trouble afoot.

Evangeline shrunk back into Lysandra, shaking slightly.  Rowan doubted it was from the chill.  He cursed himself for adding to the girl's distress.  If he remembered correctly, Evangeline was in between foster homes as the last place was unsuitable.  That scar on her cheek was fresh enough that Rowan could guess what unsuitable meant.

He softened his voice. “Is everyone alright?”

Evangeline squeaked, her hair falling in her face.  Behind her, Lysandra made a soothing sound as she gently brushed Evie’s hair back.  Her glare cut right into Rowan making it clear what she thought about him.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Lysandra said, “you’re not in trouble.  Just tell Rowan what happened.”

Evangeline sniffed loudly and nodded. “It was Luca.  He and Derek got in a fight when we were playing a game and Luca left and I told him not to but—” Evangeline forced a shuddering breath “—but he left anyway out in the snow.  So I went and got Aelin and Lysandra.”

“Aelin went out looking for him,” Lysandra finished quietly.  She gave Evangeline’s shoulder a tight squeeze.  “But it’s turning into a blizzard out there, I don’t know how far either of them will get.  We left one of the other counselors to keep an eye on the rest of the kids.”

All Rowan could register in that moment was Aelin is out in the blizzard.  It took his remembering that they were all looking to him for answers for him to snap to attention.  He turned to Elide.

“Lorcan?” He asked.

“Finishing up in the stables,” Elide said, “he’s probably still there.  And probably let her take a horse.”

Rowan doubted that.  Even if Lorcan wasn’t fond of Aelin, he wouldn’t let her go out in this weather.

“Try calling him,” Rowan said, “see what he knows.”

When Elide nodded and stepped away, he looked back at Evangeline who was still shaking against Lysandra.

“It’s alright, Evangeline,” he said, “you did the right thing by letting us know what happened.  Are you still cold?”

“N-no,” the girl stuttered softly.

Rowan held out a hand to her anyway. “Come have a seat by the fire, I’ve got hot chocolate in the kitchen too.”

Hesitantly, Evangeline accepted his offer.  He got her settled in the chair he’d vacated and found one of the many fleece blankets Aelin had left lying around.  After wrapping her up, Aedion had his phone out and played a Disney movie to distract the girl.

The adults huddled together in the kitchen while Rowan readied the promised hot chocolate.

“Lorcan said that Aelin took off on one of the mares,” Elide said quietly.  She still held her phone to her ear, the call with Lorcan active. “He wants to know if he should go after her.”

“I’ll come out to the stables now, have him wait for me,” Rowan replied.  He pulled a freshly heated mug from the microwave and dumped in a cocoa packet.  It wasn’t the best but it’s do in a pinch.  Besides, knowing that Aelin spent so much time up here there was bound to be whipped cream in the fridge and marshmallows in a cabinet.  “I’ll ride out with him.”

Lysandra took the mug from him. “Then go.  I’ll finish this.  I don’t know about riding horses.”

Rowan looked at Aedion who shrugged.

“I mean,” the other man said, “I know how to stay on.”

“Good enough,” Rowan said.  He turned to Elide next. 

“I’ll wait at the barn with blankets and flashing lights,” she said before he could get a word out. “Now let's go, the snow is only going to get worse.”

It was more than enough to kick the rest of them into action.

After finding all the spare coats, socks, and blankets they could, they piled into Rowan’s truck and made the quick trip across the drive to the stables.  All Rowan could focus on was the snow.

It no longer fell in thick innocuous fluff, rather it had turned to tiny flecks of ice that could cut skin.  The heavy wind didn’t help anything either.  The weather had quickly dissolved from mediocre to abysmal in the span of an hour.  The snow was no longer sticking to the ground, instead billowing in icy white clouds all around them.  Any semblance of being on an actual road was lost.

Rowan tried not to let it bother him.  He tried to remind himself that Luca wouldn’t get far in this weather.  Aelin was an experienced rider…even if she hadn’t been on a horse in nearly ten years.  His gut still churned in trepidation and a mild sense of panic set his heart to racing.  It was fine.

They reached the barn to find the side door open and Lorcan’s outline waiting with two horses already geared up and ready.  

Piling from the truck, Rowan threw on his coat and grabbed the thick goose down parka for when they found Luca.  He wrapped a scarf around his face as best he could to protect from the wind.

Aedion had the same idea.  He’d also found a hand to pull down over his hair and ears.

“No,” Lorcan said as soon as he saw Elide’s smaller form emerge from around the truck. “Absolutely not.  Go back to the main house.”

Had her arms not been full of blankets and spare coats, Rowan expected Elide would have flipped her boyfriend off.

“Make me.” She gave him a look that offered no room for argument and slipped into the stables.

Lorcan turned to Rowan, fury clearly written in his face.

“She’s going to stay back and keep the lights on for when we make our way back,” Rowan told him.  “She’ll be fine.”

In any other situation, Rowan was sure Lorcan would have argued further.  Instead, he passed off the reins to Goldryn.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he said.  He then turned to Aedion to offer the other horse.  Rowan had no doubt a third was already saddled and bridled just inside the doors.

Rowan made no promises as to what sort of decisions he would be making.  He merely got one foot in the stirrups and hauled himself up.  They’d wasted enough time and he wanted to get out there and find both Aelin and Luca.

“Rowan!” 

He turned to see Elide running towards him.  She waved an object in one hand, a flashlight.

“Phones will be useless,” she explained. “And I can’t find any walkie-talkies.  Morse code, yeah?”

Smart.  He accepted the light and clicked it on and off again. “Thanks.”

“Just find them.” Her dark eyes were pleading but nothing else about her smaller stature betrayed any of her worry.  When Rowan nodded in assurance, she turned back to the stables.  Rowan tucked the flashlight into the front of his coat before finally turning towards the direction he thought Luca would have gone from the cabins.

As the wind picked up and sent another cloud of snow to wash over them, Rowan tensed for a moment before urging Goldryn on.  They had some ground to cover before they made it to the cabins.  But it had been at least twenty minutes since Luca had run off.  Even with the terrible weather, a determined kid on the run could do a lot of damage.

“C’mon girl,” Rowan called, nudging Goldryn into a canter.

He knew this land better than anyone.  And he wouldn’t let anything happen to Luca or Aelin if he could help it.

…

Ice cut into Aelin’s skin as she and Farasha continued through the snow.  She hadn’t thought to grab a scarf or face covering, hadn’t thought to find a thicker coat.  The best she’d grabbed was a thin lap blanket.  All she’d heard was that Luca ran off into the storm after an argument with one of the other kids.  She would have thought about strangling Luca if she weren’t so worried about him.

“Luca!” she called out, wincing at the cold wind nearly choking her own voice.

She hadn’t even let her own panic take over at the thought of riding again.  She’d saddled up the large horse in record time and told Lorcan to ready two other horses for him and Rowan to come search with her.  It hadn’t even occurred to her that Rowan may not come, may not care as much as she did.  But even if she was pissed off at him, she couldn’t imagine that he would stand idly by when a kid was caught out here in the weather.

Her fingers were stiff as she gripped the reins, grateful at least for that bit of distraction.  It had been ages since she’d been on a horse and ridden.  After breaking her back in a nasty fall and dealing with the repercussions from Hamel, she had sworn she would never get on another horse.  She had sworn she would never return to this life.  But here she was because all she wanted to do was help the kids who needed it.

She shuddered and not just from the cold.

The terrain wasn’t terrible, even with the way the rolling snow covered the ground and how dark the night had gotten.  Even in the last seven months Aelin had grown used to the land.  She’d spent hours walking, running, and just enjoying the ranch.  Between walks with the kids she worked with or helping with moving the small herd of goats from pasture to pasture—Aelin felt like she knew the ranch as well as anyone.

Yet, as the wind continued to howl and the snow beat relentlessly against her side, Aelin had the sickening feeling she was getting lost.  She fumbled for her phone and pulled up the flashlight.  It hardly made a difference, in fact, the light was swallowed up almost as soon as it left the phone.

Aelin bit her lip to keep from cursing.  She didn’t want any more cold air in her mouth finding its way down into her lungs.

How long had she been out here?  An hour?  Two?  How long would Luca last with just his pajamas and simple coat?  

Beneath her, Farasha grunted.  It would only be a matter of time before the horse had had enough and would insist on turning back.

With numb fingers, Aelin patted the horse’s neck.  They would find Luca.  They had to.

The only logical direction Luca could go from the cabins was the main house.  But if he were too embarrassed or upset, he may just go in the opposite direction.  But all there would be was darkness.  Empty and heavy.  Or…or maybe…

Aelin thought back to the first day Luca had arrived and when she’d showed him the old homestead.  It was an old cabin that Rowan’s great-grandfather had first lived in upon buying the land.  She’d told Luca the same story Rowan had told her: with hardly any money his great-grandparents made that tiny cabin a home until they could till the land and make a living come spring.  They’d survived against all odds and used it as a sign of a new beginning.

Spurring Farasha on, Aelin took off for the cabin.  Luca had been enthralled by the story, asking question after question, he even asked to visit the cabin a second and third time.  

Okay, okay, okay. It was the only thing Aelin could think that wouldn’t send her into a different sort of plummeting thoughts.  

Even as the icy wind and sharp snow continued their assault, she told herself that everything was okay.

Aelin was beginning to lose hope, letting the soul wrenching feel of dread rise up within her.  It had been too long.  There was no sign of the cabin nor of Luca.  

This was her fault.  It was all her fault.

A flicker in the distance caught her attention.  A shadow mingling with the already thickly cloying shadows and manipulations of the storm.

“Luca!” Aelin yelled.  As Farasha continued diligently on, the small old cabin came into view and there, trekking towards it was a small hunkered shape. “Luca!”

The shape stopped and Aelin heard a voice in the wind.  Hope rose within her, beating against the dread and panic.

“Hold on!”  Sensing her urgency, Farasha pressed on, though Aelin could tell it was with reluctance.  

It took several agonizing minutes to move the few yards closer to the cabin but they made it.  And there, trying desperately to reach the old cabin was Luca.

Aelin let out a string of curses as she slid off of Farasha.  She gripped the lap blanket in one hand, keeping it close as she ran to Luca.  The boy couldn’t reach out to her, his arms wrapped tight around him.  His coat was too thin for this weather, his old boots unlaced.  Aelin swore his skin was blue, not just his lips.

“A-a-aelin?” he stuttered, the sound of her name was too soft from his mouth.

Aelin threw the blanket around him.  She pulled him against her and wrapped her arms around his middle as she tried to rub warmth into his limbs.

“What were you thinking?” she asked, unable to curb her own panic.  “Luca.  Luca.  Luca.”

The boy trembled against her.  He was trying to talk, to apologize, but Aelin kept him tugged against him so tight his words were muffled.

Ice stung Aelin’s eyes as she pulled away and knelt before him.

“Are you okay?” she asked, speaking over the sound of the wind.

He nodded even as his body still shook.  Hell.  

Aelin drew Luca back against her side. “It’s going to be fine.  I’ve got Farasha and we’re going to get back to the house.  Everything’s fine.”

She wasted no time in leading Luca to the horse.  She boosted him up into the saddle, helping him scoot as far up as he could.  Aelin braced herself as she scrambled up on the horse behind him.  The motion wasn’t as smooth as it could have been.  Combined with lack of practice, cold, and, admittedly, fear, Aelin didn’t let it bother her.

Once settled, she pulled Luca against her chest and reached for the reins.

“We’re alright,” she told him.  What else could she say?  “We’re going to go back to the house and get you warmed up.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Luca chattered. “I knew I shouldn’t have left.”

Aelin shushed him gently. “It’s okay.  Everything’s okay.”

Luca trembled against her chest but fell quiet as he tucked his face into the blanket, she’d given him.  The wind had picked up and snow swirled around them.  Aelin squinted, trying to keep ice from pricking her eyes.  It only made tears start to well and track down her cheeks.  In a matter of seconds, she could feel her skin freeze.  Aelin dared not blink for fear of her eyes freezing shut.  Instead, she tapped her heels against Farasha’s side.

Even with the added load of Luca, the horse surged forward.  Aelin had no idea if they were headed in the right direction.  All she could do was hope that the horse had a better sense of where they were than she.  But with how dark the night had fallen and the increased snowfall, Aelin couldn’t help the panic welling within her.  She had found Luca, sure, but that was only half the problem.  

Now they had to trek back through the storm to the stables.  Aelin guided Farasha as best she could, but the sheets of snow that swirled around them certainly didn’t help.

To ease her own worry, she wrapped an arm around Luca, keeping him close.  He was still conscious, which was good.  She tried asking him questions to make sure he stayed that way but after a few rounds of feeling like her throat was freezing and Luca’s continued shudders--she stopped.  

Come on, she thought to herself.  She was strong enough to do this.  Strong enough to get Luca back safely.  Even if no one else thought much of her--she could see this through.

And then what?  She’d be out of a job.  Likely forced to move back to the city and she didn’t want that.  She didn’t want to stay here either if what Rowan said was true.

If Arobynn Hamel took over the ranch Aelin knew she couldn’t stay.  Hamel was cruel to say the least.  Vindictive, arrogant, abusive.  He had pushed Aelin beyond her limits and was the reason her life had changed forever.

She wanted to hate Rowan for what he had planned.  But how could he have known?  She never talked about her past as it was.  It wasn’t even any of his business if she did leave.

Damn him.  Damn him for giving up on this place in the first place.  And damn him for making her think that she almost had a home here.

A shiver rolled through Aelin’s body.  How could she still feel the cold?  Everything was numb at this point.  She didn’t even know how she could remain upright in the saddle, let alone hold the reins.  But the cold had settled in so deep that it was simply an extension of who she was now.

They passed by a fence post that Aelin didn’t recognize.  Or did she?  Was it the one along the easter paddock?  That meant they were near the stables right?  

The top of the post only had a thin layer of snow on top, the barbed wire extending along to the next post already had icicles forming.

As if sensing her unease, Farasha moved a little faster.  But, really, there wasn’t much the horse could do.  Not in these conditions.

Aelin tilted her face up to the sky, as though that would do anything.  All she could see was the mass of snow and ice continuing to fall.  The gray sky overhead a mass of terror and pure power.  Never had she felt so insignificant until that moment.  She was a small speck in comparison to the universe overhead.  

She dropped her head again and stared forward, willing herself to see some chance of hope.

There was nothing.  Nothing but white.  Nothing but gray.  Nothing but--

A flash of light.

Aelin straightened in the saddle and stared at where she’d seen the flash.  She hadn’t imagined it.  She couldn’t have.

There it was again!

A quick flash followed by a longer one.  The flashes continued in somewhat the same manner, like morse code.  

Aelin’s fingers were too stiff to try for her phone.  She would have dropped it before managing to get it unlocked.  All she could do was guide Farasha towards the light.  Aelin had never learned morse code beyond SOS.  But she’d been out on this land plenty of times and she knew there weren’t any strange flashing lights around.  And these flashes seemed too deliberate in any case.

It was the only reassurance she could hold on to.  That and keeping Luca in one arm.

Another few minutes passed on until Aelin could hear a voice on the wind.  She didn’t register it at first, but it was familiar.  The shout came again; long and steady.

“Luca!  Aelin!”  Their names were drawn out into multiple syllables but it was someone shouting for them.

Not just someone.  Aelin would have recognized that voice anywhere.

The flashlight beam grew stronger the closer they got and Aelin could soon make out a shape sitting astride a horse.  

“Rowan,” she whispered, more to herself than anything.  Because who else could it be. “Rowan!”

It was only a minute later that had Goldryn loping toward them with Rowan.  He still had the flashlight in one hand, beaming brightly against the night.

“Aelin!” he yelled.  He drew in close, close enough to grab her shoulder.

The flashlight helped illuminate him enough that Aelin could see the taut lines of his face, his eyes wide in panic.  The scarf around his lower face had fallen away and snow was building up in the creases.  But it was him.  He was here, staring at her like she was the greatest damn thing he’d ever seen.

“We’re fine,” she said, loud over the storm. “But we need to get Luca warmed up.”

Rowan dropped his gaze to the boy who was still pressed against Aelin’s chest.

“Let's go,” he said, “it’s not that far.”

Aelin could only nod as he turned Goldryn and led the way to the stables.  Farasha, blessedly brilliant beast that she was, followed without any prompting.  

The tightness in Aelin’s chest loosened with each step made.  They had made it.  It really was going to be alright.

Quicker than Aelin realized, the stables came into view.  Bright light from the floodlights broke through the storm and she could see the doors were cracked open just a bit.  Two other horses were by the doors being tended to.  It took Aelin several moments to realize it was Lorcan and Aedion waiting there.  They soon disappeared into the barn, taking the two horses with them.  

When Rowan and Aelin reached the stable doors, both men had returned.  Lorcan wasted not time in coming to Aelin’s side.  He grabbed Luca from the saddle, hauling the boy into his arms and taking him inside.  Aelin could only stare after.  She had no idea if she could move, let alone blink.

It wasn’t until Rowan appeared in her line of sight that she did blink, miraculously without frozen eyes.  She had no idea when he’d gotten off his horse but here he was right beside her.  He reached out, one hand going to her side as he gently tugged her off of Farasha.

She fell into him.  It was an accident, really.  But her body was still numb and she might have been in shock, but she went tumbling off of the saddle in as inelegant a dismount as could be imagined.  Rowan’s arms stayed around her, keeping them both upright.

“I got you,” he murmured into her ear.  He kept a firm hold on her as she slowly regained her balance.

Somehow, he still had warmth to share.  As he kept her tight in his grasp, Aelin could practically feel her own body leeching it off of him.  She was desperate to feel anything other than the raging cold threatening to freeze her entire body.  

Lorcan appeared in another minute and helped with Farasha, Aedion took control of Goldryn.

Rowan led Aelin into the stables that were already infinitely warmer than the storm outside.  There seated on a few bales of hay was Elide, well at work with getting Luca wrapped in a fresh blanket and tugging a hat over his head.

“You’re half frozen,” Rowan said.  He kept walking Aelin away from the opened doors of the stables.  “What the hell were you thinking?”

Aelin could only stare at him.  

The familiar scowl was in place and his brow was furrowed as he worked to get her out of her wet coat.  A thin and useless coat, he pointed out.  He replaced it by draping a thicker one over her shoulders, holding it in place when she didn’t take it herself.

All she could do was stare at him.  He had come for her.  He had gone out into that storm and came to find her.  Luca too.  But with the way he was staring at her and brushing the messy strands of hair from her face--all Aelin could really process was that he was here for her.

“You’re fussing,” she managed to whisper.

“Of course I’m fussing,” he said, incredulity spreading across his face. “Aelin, you’re freezing.”

Of course she was.  She’d spent the better part of an hour (more?) searching through a blizzard on a horse looking for Luca.  Her entire body shook with cold and a mild panic of what she’d just accomplished.

Rowan tugged the coat tighter around her as he kept talking.  But Aelin couldn’t hear what he was going on about.  A shrill ringing started in her ears blocking almost everything else out.  And then the shivers wouldn’t stop.  Her entire body was shaking and it was all she could do to stay on her own two feet before she pitched forward straight into Rowan, vision going black.

…

When Aelin woke, she found herself surrounded by a thick warmth that engulfed her.  It was far welcome from the dreams of freezing snow and wind that she’d had all night.  Grateful for the thick blankets tucked all around her, Aelin snuggled in deeper, breathing in a familiar scent of pine.

Her eyes snapped open with sudden awareness.

She wasn’t in her own bed.  

Pain lanced through her head as she tried sitting up.  The sheer weight of the blankets piled on top of her was enough to keep her down though, for at least a minute longer.

What the hell had happened?  Her body ached as though she’d run a marathon and she was certain her toes were frozen solid and—

And there had been the blizzard.  And Luca.  And she’d gotten on a horse and rose out into a blizzard to find him.

That thought alone spurred her on.  She shoved the thick quilts aside, pausing only at the patchwork of the top blanket that was a blend of greens and silvers in a pattern she couldn’t quite make out, but it was handmade.  She could tell that much.

Aelin then realized that she was in Rowan’s room.  If not for the scent of pine and the obvious splashes of green throughout the decoration, then the picture on the bedside table.  It was of a boy no more than ten with a shock of silver hair standing on a dock that overlooked a lake.  In one hand he held up a fishing line with a giant fish dangling from the hook.  Beside him was an older man, his father, who had a proud grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around the boy.  And there was another picture of a woman with tan skin and brilliant green eyes smiling down at a bundled baby in her arms.

She was in Rowan’s room.

The thought shocked her enough that she remained seated on the edge of the bed right up until the door opened.  Mind still reeling, Aelin could only watch as Rowan himself slowly stepped into the room.

He stopped immediately upon seeing her awake and sitting up.  Dressed in his usual attire of jeans and flannel she almost would have guessed she hadn’t been asleep that long.  If it hadn’t been for his disheveled hair or the stubble on his chin and cheeks.

“You should be asleep,” Rowan said.  He held a cup of water in one hand and slowly walked it over to her, setting it on the bedside table she’d just been examining.

“I was,” Aelin replied, even with the short words her voice rasped with disuse and exhaustion. 

Rowan who now stood just before her, his knees brushing hers, reached out and brushed a few messy strands of hair from her face.  His fingers were warm against her skin and the calluses rough as they scraped gently along her cheek.  The expression in his eyes held something Aelin wasn’t sure how to read.  She’d thought she’d gotten decent enough at interpreting Rowan that it unsettled her just a bit.  

Instead of the depthless sea of green she was so accustomed to, he was now guarded and hesitant.  Compared to his usual assurance and confidence--Aelin was at a loss of what to say.

“Drink this,” Rowan said, filling the silence.  He pushed the glass of water into her hands along with a few pain pills and the granola bar. “And eat.  The pills will settle better with something in your stomach.”

Aelin set the items aside. “I’m fine.”

“Aelin.”

The warning in his voice had Aelin’s hackles rising.  She set her jaw and glared right back at him.

“I’m fine.” 

They stared at each other, neither budging.  And they could sit there all day for all Aelin was concerned.  She wasn’t sure how long she’d been asleep or of any of the other details of her passing out, but she did know she was still pissed Rowan and she would hold out for as long as--

“Please,” Rowan said, voice uncharacteristically soft, “just eat something.”

The breath stilled in Aelin’s lungs.  When had she ever heard him say please?  It was such a strange word coming from him that Aelin automatically reached for the granola bar and unwrapped it.  She took a few bites before swallowing the pain pills with some of the water.

“Happy?” she asked, placing the water back on the bedside table.

Rowan, as expected, remained silent.  When he turned aways from her, Aelin thought he was going to give her some peace and quiet, but he was only putting a little distance between them. Which was probably for the best considering Aelin was having a difficult time breathing normally when he was so close.  She would blame it on nearly getting hypothermia.  That was it.

“Do you have any idea how stupid it was for you to go out like you did?” he demanded.  He’d stepped back closer to the window, pale light filtering through the thin curtains to illuminate him enough that Aelin could better see the outlines of his face and the stiff way he held himself.

“I was trying to find Luca,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Get help,” Rowan said, “it was a blizzard Aelin, what if something had happened?”

“Exactly.”  She rose to her feet, blinking back the fuzzy blackness along the edge of her vision.  She wasn’t going to let him berate her. “I couldn’t let something happen to Luca.  He was my responsibility.  It’s a miracle I found him at all.”

Aelin waited expectantly for him to say something else.  To continue to tell her how stupid she was, how upset he was.  That she’d made mistake after mistake.

But he didn’t.

Rowan stood before her, hands on his hips and lips pressed tight together.  Silent.

“I wasn’t going to leave him,” Aelin said, and she was shocked to find emotion beginning to clog her throat. “I couldn’t.”

And then Rowan did the absolute last thing she expected.  He hugged her.

One moment he was two feet away looking as mad as she’d ever seen him, the next he was pulling her into a bone crushing hug.  His arms wound around her, one hand buried in her hair to keep her close.  It took Aelin a few seconds to reorient herself but she carefully returned the hug.

Several different questions and emotions swam through Aelin’s head.  Most of which dealt with the variety that Rowan was actually displaying affection of one sort or another.  He wasn’t a stone wall of silence in that moment but someone who cared.  At least, that was how she chose to interpret this display.

“It’s alright,” she found herself murmuring. “Everything’s fine.”

She realized belatedly that the anger she’d felt rolling off of him was actually fear.  That he’d been scared for her.  She marveled at it really, that Rowan Whitethorn would be worried about her.  

Aelin gently eased back, just enough that she could look at him with a bit more clarity.  Her entire body was still brimming with exhaustion, she could feel her own tiredness thudding through her bones with every beat of her heart.  It was only a small, dull ache though in comparison with the unyielding depths of Rowan’s dark eyes.

She didn’t go far though.  The warmth radiating off of him was welcome, feeling almost as though she were back in bed and wrapped in the many blankets.  Being so close to him was strange, different.  She’d never allowed herself to get so close to him before that now, being held by him--she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so safe and secure.

“Sorry,” Rowan said, though he didn’t release her entirely as one hand trailed softly along her side.

Not knowing how to navigate any of this--Aelin avoided a direct response.

“How’s Luca?” she asked.

“Fine,” Rowan said, “he woke up twenty minutes ago and is perfectly fine.”

“Good,” she said, genuine relief flooding her. “That’s good.”

“We had him and Evangeline stay in the house, Evie stayed in your room,” Rowan went on to explain. “Because the weather was so bad, Lorcan and Elide stayed the night too.  They’re with the rest of the kids down at the cabins.”

“Rowan, I,” Aelin began, knowing that she did at least owe him a little of an apology.  In part for her recklessness (though they would both know she wasn’t really sorry) and for the way she acted after learning about Hamel. 

“Don’t,” he said, quick to cut her off.  His fingers dug into her sides grounding her right where they stood. “You don’t need to say anything.”

“I’m sorry,” she said anyways, he gave her an exasperated sort of look that made her smile. “Not about Luca, I stand by going after him, but Hamel.  There’s more to that than I’ve told anyone.”

Rowan cleared his throat, eyes flicking away for a brief moment before resettling on her. “Aedion might have told me a little about that.  And about…”

He trailed off when Aelin turned away.  She didn’t know why she did, why she wanted to ignore her past and lock it back up again where no one, not even she, could find it.  But she did.  Because she knew how it sounded, how it looked.  The spoiled rich girl from the good background with everything at her beck and call falls into a mess of drug use.  Even if she hadn’t known about it.

When the backs of her knees hit the bed, Aelin collapsed onto the mattress.  She was exhausted anyways and really just wanted to sink back into the blankets and fall asleep.  Maybe pretend none of this had ever happened.

“I ended the deal with Hamel,” Rowan said.  “Literally just got off the phone with him to tell him I wasn’t selling anymore.”

Aelin felt her jaw fall open as she stared up at him. “You what?”

If there was anything he could have said to shock her, that was it.

“I’m not selling,” Rowan repeated.  He looked as serious as he ever did, not a fleck of emotion on his face.  It was a strange beauty he held, Aelin thought at that moment.  The hard planes of his face, his sharp jawline, and the full curve of his lips—all of it combined together in such a way that nearly stole her breath away.

“Why not?” she whispered. “Not to him or not at all?”

He swallowed, throat bobbing.  Aelin thought it curious, why would he care about this so much to end the deal that, as he’d said, would bring in a great deal of money?  And why would he care enough to not want to talk about it further?

“No deal at all,” Rowan said, “my attorney’s processing a formal citation for it now.”

“Why?” she asked again.  Why did she care so much?  Was it her own love for this ranch that has somehow developed over these brief few months?  Was it no more than the desire to know that Hamel was getting screwed over? 

This time when he came towards her, Aelin didn’t move.  She only watched as he slowly drew closer until once again, his knees knocked against hers.  He hovered over her, his broad frame blocking out the light from the window.  But he wasn’t imposing, wasn’t a cruel thing engulfing her.  It was just Rowan.

“I couldn’t do that to you,” he said. The admission sent shivers running along her arms, racing down her spine. “Not after, everything.”

“Everything,” Aelin repeated, trying hard to ignore the way her heart was hammering in her chest and how her stomach dipped at the low timbre of his voice.  “It was the binder, wasn’t it?”

She couldn’t help the teasing words.  The binder that had outlined this week of kids coming to the ranch had included a brief plan of continued action to take on seeing more progress made for various revenue opportunities for the ranch.  Really, Aelin hadn’t expected Rowan would read much into it.

Rowan snorted a soft laugh, head tilting up as though he were looking to the heavens for help.

“Yeah, I guess that was it.” His words weren’t convincing.  Not even in the slightest.  Especially not when Aelin saw that small spark in his eyes, the way he was so close yet still so far.  And Aelin, despite everything that had happened, wanted him closer.  Rowan, she knew, was too chivalrous and wouldn’t do anything to push her over whatever line they were toeing.

She reached up, fingers grazing the hem of his shirt, the fabric soft against her skin.  

“I told you it was—” Aelin never had the chance to finish teasing him further when he swept in to kiss her.

It was a soft brush of his lips against hers, barely anything at all.  And still it made her breath catch, caused goosebumps to race over her skin.  She arched into him, eagerly seeking out of his touch.  She couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her feel so wild in her own skin.

Rowan cupped her cheek with one hand as he drew her closer. The deepening kiss nearly drowned her.  He paused only once, hovering before her in a silent question.  Aelin responded by fisting her fingers in his shirt and dragging him to her.  His lips turned insistent against hers, drawing a small sound from her throat.

In all her time at the ranch, Aelin had never known Rowan to be so gentle or careful.  But the way he treated her as though she were something to be cherished, something to be loved—it had her heart seizing in her throat.  

She wanted more, needed more, and given the way Rowan’s hands ran through her hair and down her sides she knew he did too.

Which, of course, was when a soft knock came at the bedroom door.

“Aelin?”  It was Lysandra come to check on her.

She and Rowan broke apart, putting just enough distance between them.  There was no guilt or regret in Rowan’s eyes, rather a promise just for her.

Aelin straightened, adjusting her mussed shirt.  “Come in.”  She reached for the half-eaten granola bar and started to finish it off, just so she could have something to do with her hands and maybe detract from what she and Rowan had been up to.

The look on Lysandra’s face said she wasn’t convinced.  She raised a brow, fixing her look solely on Rowan before turning to Aelin.

“I told him not to bother you,” she said.

“I was already awake,” Aelin said honestly.  

Lysandra hummed, her mouth curving into a smirk. “Sure.  Well, there’s a real breakfast downstairs.  And Luca wants to thank-you in person for finding him.”

“Thanks, Lys,” Aelin said.

Her friend waited a moment longer before turning to leave.  She left the door open behind her.

Aelin waited until Lysandra disappeared down the stairs before she rose to her feet.  She was tired and still a bit achy but she knew that if she and Rowan remained up here any longer it would only result in an embarrassing call out.  That or Aedion would be sent to collect them.  And for her cousin's health and Rowan’s own sanity, Aelin thought it best not to avoid the inevitable.

Automatically, she reached out for Rowan and took her hand in his.  She laced their fingers together and gave him a small squeeze.

“I never did thank-you,” she said, stepping closer to him, willing to snatch just one more moment.

Rowan arched a brow. “For what?”

“You came to find me,” she said, “even after everything.”

His face softened and Rowan brought their clasped hands up between them, brushing his lips across her knuckles.

“I’ll always come if you need me,” he promised.

Aelin smiled, unable to help it.  For the first time in ages, she felt a small bit of joy begin to kindle deep in her chest.  Where once it might have scared her, now it was a welcome feeling, one that she would keep close deep within her.

“C’mon, buzzard, before she sends Aedion up to get us.”  She tugged him to the door with her so they could join the fray awaiting downstairs for them.

And over the next few days, Aelin wouldn’t know what the future would bring.  She didn’t know if anything would happen between her and Rowan or if this was some strange moment shared together.  She didn’t even know what would happen with her career.

What she did know was that she wanted to fight for it, whatever may come.

…

Epilogue—Six Months Later

It was the howling of a dog that woke him at six in the morning, not his usual alarm.  At first, Rowan was keen to ignore it and instead try to fall back asleep.  But the dog howled again, mostly out of need for attention than anything else.  He rolled over in bed, one arm reaching out to the warm body beside him.

“Your child is calling,” he grumbled.

Aelin cursed from where she was tangled in the blankets. “You’re the one that bought her.”

Indeed, Rowan had purchased the dog that let out another howl outside.  He’d figured if he were going to keep the ranch, they should have a dog.  What he hadn’t planned on was the little demon to end up being almost exactly like Aelin.  He should have known.

Snorting a laugh, Rowan tugged her closer, ignoring the way Aelin’s blonde hair was splayed out messily, nearly engulfing him.  He wrapped a hand around her waist, keeping her close.  She was soft against him; curves and angles fitting perfectly with him.  No matter how many times they woke like this, he didn’t think he’d ever get used to it.

Aelin rolled over in his arms so they were face to face and she could hook her leg over his hip.  Already she had one hand buried in his hair as she settled down again.  Rowan cracked an eye open to watch her.

Eyes closed and a look of contentment on her soft features, Aelin still remained the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.  The nightgown she wore was a poor excuse for covering.  The thin straps had fallen down her shoulders and left her chest almost perfectly exposed.  The hemline rode up far along her thighs.  And he was well aware she wasn’t wearing underwear beneath.  

He had no idea how they’d come to this point—no idea how he’d managed to not screw things up beyond measure.  Given the way they’d started—they by all means should still hate each other.  But here they were, tangled together in a mess of limbs.

He realized too late that she’d opened her eyes.

“Staring?” she asked.

“Always.”

Aelin grinned in that delightfully bright way she did.  It was enough to strike any man dumb.  Taking advantage of his distraction, Aelin swooped in for a quick kiss.

“I’ll take care of the dog if you make me pancakes,” she said, already climbing out of bed.

Rowan, however, had another idea.  He snatched a hand out, catching her wrist to pull her back down on the bed.  Aelin yelped in surprise, nearly falling on top of him.  She caught herself though, one hand braced on the mattress next to him.  Golden hair fell around them as a curtain, a tangled, messy curtain.

Leaning up, Rowan caught her mouth in another kiss.  This one far more than a simple peck.  Aelin sighed against him as one hand trailed along his bare chest, her fingers working in soft caresses at his side.

As he deepened the kiss, Rowan sat up and wrapped an arm around Aelin.  He pulled her fully into his lap, fully intending to have a proper morning together when the alarm clock finally went of and that damned dog started another round of howls from outside.  Groaning, Rowan tried keeping her close for just a moment longer.

“Sorry cowboy,” Aelin said breathlessly as she pulled back. “Our child is calling.  And you’re going to be late.”

She brushed her fingers through with a fond smile before getting out of bed.  This time Rowan let her go, though he wasn’t happy about it.  

Aelin threw on a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt before she ran downstairs, calling for Fleetfoot the entire way.

In the six months since the blizzard that brought them together, many things had changed.  Normally Rowan would have shied away from it all.  Change never meant anything good.  It meant things would be different, that there was a new reality set forth before him.  And, always one to stay the course, he’d never pursued much beyond what he already knew.

But he supposed the change Aelin wrought within him was just what he needed.  And not just in keeping the family ranch.  But she made him want to be different, to be better.

After he changed, Rowan headed downstairs.  Aelin was outside with Fleetfoot, the golden lab that was supposed to be a herd dog but much preferred human company than goats.  He watched them through the kitchen window as Aelin threw a ball for Fleetfoot to chase.  

The golden sun already illuminated the sky setting everything alight.  Spring came swiftly and full of new opportunities.  And for once, Rowan didn’t dread it.

Even though he was running behind, Lorcan would kick his ass for it, Rowan whipped up a batch of pancakes and already had a few on the griddle by the time Aelin and Fleetfoot scampered back inside.

Fleetfoot pranced around happily and dashed into the kitchen to make sure Rowan knew she was there.

“Yeah, yeah,” Rowan said as the dog rubbed against one of his legs. “Go ask your momma for treats.”

Aelin instead fixed Fleetfoot’s food dish with the allotted portion of kibble.  Though, Rowan knew the dog would get at least one treat before the hour was out.

While Fleetfoot attacked her breakfast, Aelin came and wrapped her arms around Rowan’s middle.  She pressed her forehead into his back and sighed as she rested against him.

“You didn’t have to make pancakes,” she told him quietly.

Rowan flipped the few that were on the griddle before turning to accept a full hug.  He brushed the escaping bits of hair that flew from her bun out of the way and shrugged.

“I wanted to.”  

“Hmm,” Aelin hummed and pressed up onto her toes to kiss him.  Chaste and sweet, the kiss still held a lingering promise of what exactly she wanted to do to him. “Well, thank-you.  But you should go.  Lorcan’s going to be pissy enough as it is.”

“Yes dear,” Rowan said.

He let Aelin take control over the pancakes and grabbed a protein bar from the fridge before heading out for the day.  He paused when he reached the door looking back at Aelin as she pulled the batch of pancakes from the heat.

“I love you,” he said.

She looked up, blue eyes dazzling with her smile. “Love you, buzzard.”

The door closed softly behind him as he hurried down the porch to his waiting truck.  Beside it was the SUV Lysandra and Aedion had left behind, taking Aelin Audi with them once the snow let up.  The chrome silver was spattered with mud and dust looking as though it perfectly belonged where it was.  The sight brought a small smile to him.

His truck rumbled down the road to the stables where they would already be preparing for the first spring camp of the season.  They were expecting fifteen kids in total with another week planned for the wait-listers that hadn’t gotten in the first time.  

The day after the blizzard, Rowan officially terminated any agreement with Hamel that had been talked about, just as he’d promised Aelin he would.  They’d faced some backlash, but it was remarkable just what a few loyal names could do to help make things right.  Though, Aelin’s own determination in not letting the man have any more control over her said enough.

Now she worked in town at the singular therapy office, providing help to those who wanted.  When she wasn’t there, she was at the ranch helping him and continuing to plan and host events for more kids and individuals seeking help and comfort for their traumas and other mental health concerns.  Just like she’d always wanted.

Rowan drove past the wide-open field of the ranch his family had called home for over a hundred years.  And when he glanced in the rearview mirror at the ranch house fading into view behind him, he hoped that it would remain that way for a few more generations after.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

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#rowaelin #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #aelin x rowan #throne of glass #fanfiction #tog #throne of glass fanfiction

[mariaofdoranelle]

Look at Us Now - ch. 24

Fic masterlist

I’m so happy to get this one out!! I’ve been thinking about this chapter for an insane amount of time. Enjoy!

Warnings: sex shop stuff

Words: 3,3k

Of all the times Rowan listened to his dumbass coworkers out of curiosity, he never thought he’d follow through with any of their advice. Yet, there he was, in the rope section of Doranelle City’s newest sex shop.

At first, he couldn’t believe that an old small-ish supermarket closed, and in its place someone opened a giant adult shop. Then, Rowan couldn’t believe he came here to check what the fuss was all about. He had more than enough confidence to stand tall while checking the most bizarre aisles, but he wasn’t used to picking and choosing vibrators the same way he did his groceries.

Still, regret was the furthest thing from his mind when he saw the lingerie section.

There, hanging between lots of blacks and reds, a scrap of golden fabric caught Rowan’s attention. After hurrying there with his basket, he took a good look at it. The tag said ‘three-piece embroidered lace garter lingerie set’, but he was struggling to understand where each part went. All he saw was so many straps around the sheer lace that was the actual lingerie, and gold. Not yellow—real, metallic gold.

This. He just found the perfect, most selfish apology for those ripped panties.

Getting the bra sizing right was a struggle, though. Rowan squinted at his hand, muscle memory mimicking how it grabbed Aelin’s breast, and tested the different sizes on his palm.

It was almost time to go, so he made his way to the clit vibrator section. Aelin’s only one was attached to a penetrative stimulator, and while it was great, it didn’t quite fit this specific idea he had in mind.

However, right before entering his aisle of choice, Rowan spotted an awfully familiar blonde head.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Retreat.

He stood where Aedion couldn’t see him and checked the time. A little more and he’d be late, which wasn’t an option. Rowan was going to pick Maisie up at school alone because Aelin wanted to take a nap after work—he couldn’t afford to wait until Aedion left.

In a bold move, Rowan entered the aisle, standing on its end while the other man was in the middle. He wouldn’t be able to see everything, but hopefully enough to pick what he needed.

Still, he kept an eye on Aedion, briefly glancing at him every now and then while looking at all kinds of clit suction vibrators.

In one of those times, Aedion was already looking at him. Shit.

For once, he was glad that the families didn’t know about his relationship yet. Aedion had no idea that he was here with ravishing Aelin in mind, and the last thing Rowan wanted to know was the purpose of the other man’s… purchases.

Turquoise eyes met pine-green, but he still looked around to see if the Aedion was looking at someone behind him. Nothing. They were alone in this aisle, staring at each other for what felt like ages.

Rowan took a step forward. “Hey,” he said in a stiff greeting.

“Hey.” Aedion’s greeting was almost a wince. “You…”

“Just buying some stuff.” Rowan’s neck felt on fire with embarrassment as he played nonchalant. He hid the chosen purple clit sucker deep inside his basket, as if the man beside him hadn’t seen it already. “For myself.”

“Same.” Aedion’s unusual lack of words was a relief.

Rowan eyed the vibrator and anal beads inside the man’s own basket. Well, good for him.

˜˜

“YOU’RE SORRY!” Maisie shouted on the garage floor, trashing in her father’s arms.

“I’m not, love, you can’t play drums while your mother’s asleep.”

The little girl screamed louder, tears streaming down her already puffy face. After a lot of improvised, unpolished drumming sessions, Rowan and Aelin enrolled her in weekly lessons. While they encouraged the little girl to keep practicing, her learning process was hard on their eardrums.

It broke Rowan’s heart to see Maisie like this, but work has been running Aelin ragged lately; he couldn’t allow their daughter to play when her mother was finally letting herself rest.

Still, the little girl threw herself on the floor, then threw a drumstick at her father. The wooden mallet hit him in the chest, and though it didn’t hurt at all, its weight wore down his thinning patience.

Who. The fuck. Gave. This child. Drums.

He drew a deep breath to calm himself, but it didn’t stop his Dad Voice, as Aelin would call it. “Maisie Whitethorn,” he chided, “if you throw another one of these… forking sticks at me, you won’t see them again for a helluva long time, you hear me?”

Defiant as the day she was born, Maisie held her head high despite the teary eyes, squared her shoulders, picked the same drumstick off the floor and threw at Rowan again.

That’s when the unwavering patience he reserved for his daughter snapped.

Blood boiling, he threw her over his shoulder—her five-year-old body was lighter than a potato sack anyway—and left her in the garage, ready to put her in time-out for eternity. Maisie trashed, likely hurting his back as she did it, but it was hard to pay attention to it over the pounding on his ears, caused by anger and her shouting both.

“What’s going on?”

Aelin’s voice coming from the living room stopped him short. Rowan took in his girlfriend’s messy hair and slightly puffy face from her nap on the couch; his heart sank with the realization that she woke up anyway, and it was his fault.

“I told her to stop the drums so you could sleep, then she threw the drumsticks at me and is about to get grounded for eternity.”

Aelin gestured for him to pass Maisie over at the same time the little girl wiggled out of his grip, even with her head on Rowan’s back, away from her mom; it sometimes stunned him, how in sync these two were.

She sat with their still crying daughter on her lap. “Maisie, we don’t hit the people who feed us.”

“Or anyone,” Rowan added, eyes hard.

He was a firm believer that, sometimes, violence happened to be the last and only resource to resolve things. It wasn’t a good lesson to teach a little kid, though, especially when she could think that a minor conflict at the playground required extreme solutions.

Aelin wiped out Maisie’s tear-streaked cheeks and combed her hair out of her face with her fingers, showing a gentleness she rarely showed for people outside her family. “Do you understand why we’re upset with you, honey?”

“Daddy said I’d be in trouble if I threw another stick!” The girl’s high-pitched voice cracking and raspy as she tried to defend herself. “I didn’t! I threw the same one!”

Rowan’s mouth fell open as he felt disoriented with his daughter’s Aelin-like defense. If she was like this at five years old… he didn’t want to think about what would happen in ten to twelve years.

“Maisy Daisy,” Aelin warned in a calm yet alarming tone. “You know you shouldn’t have thrown that stick at all.”

“We can’t find loopholes for hitting people,” Rowan added, still stunned, and looked at Aelin. “She’s still getting grounded. Maisie’s not playing anything if she acts like she was raised in the wilderness ”

“But I didn’t throw another stick!”

Aelin winced, and from her looks she seemed to say she has a point, Buzzard. A sigh. “What about cutting drumming time in half this week?”

Maisie gaped, outraged.

Rowan tilted his head, pretending to think this through. Reducing something instead of cutting it off usually worked best in his family, but he still threatened with the worst option for impact. When suspended something completely, if Maisie didn’t convince her father to suspend the punishment at all—which completely weakened his authority in the long term—she’d have several more meltdowns they couldn’t avoid because she was still learning to regulate her emotions.

“Sounds reasonable,” Rowan finally said.

However, Maisie shook her head. “I don’t like that.”

Aelin snorted. “You’re not supposed to like your punishment, honey.”

They settled in the living room when Maisie cooled down, her and Fleetfoot playing in the mat as quiet Rowan could expect a kid and a puppy to be.

He and Aelin stayed on the couch, her soft body resting half above him, in a drowsy state.

“It’s almost dinnertime,” he said. “We could order pizza.”

Aelin’s only response was a grimace, but Maisie’s loud cheer made her agree to it.

Rowan would be lying if he said it didn’t bother him. For days now, her sleeping and eating patterns were off, and it could only mean one thing: a depressive episode.

He knew it, because he studied it. He had every sign engraved in the back of his mind, alert for when she needed him again, to not let her down again. Ready to be there and support her in any way he could, Rowan just didn’t think she would be the one to evade him.

He thought they were better at communicating, better than this, but each time Aelin shut him off and said she was feeling emotionally good, just a little tired even if all signs pointed otherwise, his heart sank with doubt.

“Hey, Buzzard.” Aelin ran a thumb over the crease between his brows, where a frown must’ve formed at some point during his musings. “What got your feathers all ruffled?”

Well, since she asked, he might as well tell her. “I—“ Rowan’s eyes zeroed on Maisie. This wasn’t something to discuss in front of a little kid. “Mais, it’s almost time to go to your mother’s. Can you go pack your bag?”

“No,” the little girl said, plain and simple as if his request wasn’t a polite order.

Aelin sat back, leaving their cuddling position with both brows up. “Excuse me?”

“I’ll go pack my toys to go to my other house, then Dad’ll go with us, and we’ll do the same things we were doing before, but in another house. Every. Time.” Maisie’s brows remained drawn together, her little arms crossed. “I’m so tired from packing my toys that much.”

Rowan and Aelin both froze, staring at their daughter after this bomb she just dropped. To be fair, Maisie was completely right. They kept the same custody arrangement as before, but one parent would follow the other to be together, so the three of them were basically going from one house to another.

He could point out that packing a bag of toys wasn’t nearly as much work as the packing her parents did, but Rowan didn’t want to argue with his daughter because he agreed with her. They were so worried about maintaining a steady routine for Maisie, they weren’t expecting her to point out that this arrangement made no fucking sense anymore.

And most of all, Rowan really wanted to take a bunch of next steps with Aelin.

“We’ll take this into consideration,” Aelin said, reluctant. “For now, you’ll still have to pack your toys.”

Maisie got up and complied, but not without grunting a few complaints, Fleetfoot hot on her heels.

The second their daughter closed her bedroom door, Aelin jumped on Rowan, trapping him with both arms on the couch.

“She’s right, you know?”

Rowan snorted. “You’re taking advice from a child now?”

Looking oddly invigorated by how Maisie brought up the subject, Aelin was undeterred. “Let’s move in together.”

Yes. Rowan opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again. “I thought you wanted to take things slow.”

The three-month mark she requested to tell people about their relationship was so close he could taste it, but no matter how much Rowan wanted to test her boundaries, he couldn’t. She was the one to request them, which made him question this sudden change of heart.

An adorable blush creeped up her neck and cheeks. “Because that’s the responsible thing to do. Don’t you hate being responsible sometimes?”

Rowan chuckled, amused, because not being responsible was never an option for him, the only exception being when it came to Aelin. Still, they weren’t two twenty-somethings moving in together on a whim to share rent. They had logistics to discuss, Maisie to think about, and their on-base housing that would be incredibly hard to regain if either of them gave up on it.

He kissed the bony tip of her nose. “We can talk things over until we’re ready, yeah?”

And by that, Rowan meant that he just wanted to wait long enough to be sure she wasn’t crossing her own boundary in an impulse decision she’d regret later. He was so fucking ready to move in with her for real and stop ironing his uniform at 5:30 a.m. because it got rumpled in his bag.

Aelin nodded, eyes intent on him. “Sure. That’s where we’re headed, right? Moving in together, I mean.”

“Fuck, yes, we are,” he said while giving her a crushing hug.

With a silly grin, Aelin cupped his face and kissed him. It was sweet and shallow, since they were smiling too much to deepen it, but Rowan loved it. Every kiss with her, every time, it blew his mind.

However, they were brutally interrupted by a high-pitched scream, painfully loud in a way only horror movies could muster—and Maisie, apparently.

The little girl stood rooted where the hallway met the living room, panicked green eyes widened with the sight of her parents making out.

“Why— WHY’DYOUKISSDAD!?”

Aelin slowly detangled herself from him, and Rowan’s mind was going a mile a minute. Of all the parenting preparation he did, no one ever taught how to explain to your child that you’re dating their mother.

“I was kissing your father because we’re in a relationship now.” Aelin’s voice was gentle, but it left no room for argument.

Rowan added, “We were planning to tell you soon.”

Maisie was still frozen in place, and he felt like beating himself for letting his daughter find out about his relationship this way.

“Honey, I—“ Rowan scratched the back of his neck, feeling his face heat. One might think they were two teenagers getting caught by their parents, but it was actually two thirty-somethings explaining themselves to a five-year-old. “Your mother and I, we’ve been very close lately. Sharing a bed. Are you actually surprised that we’re dating?”

Maisie narrowed her eyes on her father. “I share my bed with Fleetfoot. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“You’re right,” Rowan agreed, determined not to taint her innocent way of thinking. “But we’ve also been spending all our free time together. You see us cuddling plenty and—“

“I thought we were cuddling all the time because we’re a family and we love each other, not because you’re boyfriend and girlfriend! Ew!”

Aelin leaned closer to her on the couch. “Maisie, love, can you tell us how you’re feeling?”

The little girl eyed her mother’s phone on the coffee table, grabbed it and ran away, locking herself in the bathroom as quickly as she could.

Rowan pinched the bridge of his nose. He was so throughly fucked.

The day Maisie learned how to call her grandmother, he knew he’d never know peace again.

He sighed. “I think she—“

“She absolutely is.”

Rowan met her gaze, slightly panicked, and stared at her grin with no small amount of confusion. Something about him made her burst, so she held onto his arm, shaking and losing her breath with laughter.

“That’s not funny!” He looked between his girlfriend and the bathroom door that hid his distraught daughter, not knowing what to do.

“Come on.” Aelin leaned on him, her outburst subdued. “It is a little.”

Rowan relaxed back on the couch, letting himself think about what happened in a different light, and the corners of his mouth quirked up. “The way she never suspected anything…”

“Ugh!” Aelin hugged him tight. “I want her to stay this little forever.”

“She did grow up too fast,” Rowan said in a pensive tone, and it made him think about how much he wanted to watch other tiny people grow up with Aelin. One thing at a time, though. “She’s likely telling my mother everything before the three-month mark, and—“

“Your mom will tell everyone she knows.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“It’s okay. I mean, we were close to the mark already, but…” Aelin closed her eyes and breathed deep, a small smile on her lips as she finished. “I feel great. It’s not how I wanted to do it, but I feel like it was about time.”

“Okay.” Rowan kissed her cheek. “I’m okay with it if you’re okay with it.”

Aelin caressed his face with her thumb. “I’m very okay with it.”

Her face was a breath away from his when his phone rang.

Mom

Aelin mouthed good luck at the same time he took the call.

“Rowan Whitethorn, you are in so much trouble.”

“Is that so?” he asked, unbothered by his mother’s dramatic antics.

“I cannot believe I have to learn from Maisie that you’re dating again!”

“I couldn’t hide it forever, it’s not my fault Maisie ruined the reveal we—“

“Every night, I prayed to Mala for you and Aelin to get together—for years, Rowan. Years! And when it finally happens, you can’t even bother to let me know…”

He tuned his mother off when his daughter left the bathroom, looking calmer, and sat facing her mother.

“Maisie’s here. I’ll have to hang up.”

“I’m not finished—“

He hung up.

Sitting back beside Aelin, he asked, “Do you feel like talking now, Mais?”

The little girl crossed her arms. “Are you married?”

Rowan’s eyes bulged out. “No—“ He sneaked a quick glance at Aelin. “I mean, not yet. Why’d you ask?”

His daughter hummed. “So you have a kid and you’re together, but you’re not married?”

“Yes.”

“This is weird,” Maisie mused, sitting on an armchair before them. “You tell me that people choose boys or girls to have kids, puppies or kittens with, until death or divorce; but you mixed it up and you’re doing it all confusing.”

Rowan winced. “I’m painfully aware of that.”

Aelin cleared her throat, focused on Maisie. “My relationship status with your dad might’ve changed, but nothing about you ever will. You will always come first, and we’ll always love you very much, no matter what. This doesn’t change anything for you.”

“Anything?” Maisie asked, perking up.

Aelin slowly nodded. “Anything.”

“Do I still get two Yulemas gifts?”

Cackling, Aelin squeezed her daughter in a hug. “I don’t know,” she said in a playful tone. “Rowan, does she still get two Yulemas gifts?”

“Huh.” Rowan tilted his head, pretending to think hard while a warm feeling spread through his chest. “I don’t know, I guess she’ll have to wait and find out.”

Aelin winked—she knew that being an only child and only granddaughter on both sides, Maisie was spoiled rotten by her family on Yulemas. “Any other requests?”

“No kissing!”

Aelin gasped. “No kissing?” she asked in a dramatic, almost theatrical way for her daughter’s amusement.

Maisie shook her head. “Nuh-uh!”

The mother pouted. “Then how am I going to do this…”

Next thing they knew, Aelin was pecking quick kisses all over the little girl’s face, earning those high-pitched squeals he adored so much. Rowan watched that scene, grinning and with a familiar tingling in his chest, when his phone rang again.

His mother, of course.

He showed Aelin the screen. “I should take this before she books a flight.”

“Sure.” She bit her lip, looking unsure. “She sounded angry before.”

“Actually, this is her best-case scenario for my love life. She’s just upset that I didn't tell her sooner.” Rowan kissed her cheek. “I’ll be right back,” he said before leaving to answer this phone call that could take anything between 20 minutes and 2 hours.

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[tomtenadia]

My new fic

Hi all,

So, I am trying to gather all the possible courage and post the Prologue of my Hockey fic. I still don't have many chapters, but I am hoping that posting it for the public will give me the push I need to write more.

So, Rowan is a Pro Hockey player in the THL (Terrasen Hockey League) and Aelin in an ex pro figure skater now working as instructor. Rowan has suffered a serious head injury in a game and has been off for a few months and is now dealing with his healing. Aelin plays tough girl but she is still dealing with the accident that destroyed her career.

A very small part of Rowan's injury and recovery is inspired by "Unsteady" by Peyton Corinne (which I recommend to everyone if you love hockey romance) and also just a smidge of Icebreaker.

Also, Rowan is a single dad to a lovely 5 years old tornado called Maya (yes, I know always the same but I love it.)

The title.... Check my heart.... a play on the concept of cross check. Not the greatest but I am bad at titles.

Anyway, I will leave you to it.

CW: mention of injuries, panic attacks

PROLOGUE

The ice rink was empty and quiet on a Saturday afternoon.

Rowan slowly walked the familiar path that took him from the changing rooms to the ice, the feeling of walking in skates still strange after two months off.

As he finally exited the tunnel, the coolness of the stadium hit his face as he sat down on the home team bench. His team’s bench. Hockey had been a huge part of his life. He had started playing as soon as he had learned to walk. His dad had been a great champion in the Wendlyn Hockey League, leading his team to many championships and countless other major victories. His dad, Alasdair Whitethorn, had been the hero for many kids. Under his guidance, Rowan had learned to skate, and to get better. He trained, he played, he breathed hockey. In high school people had started to call him his father’s heir. He signed up for uni and graduated in aeronautical engineering. Aircrafts being another passion of his. At uni he played in the team and made captain and in his final year the offers from pro teams started to rain.

His first year as a pro in Doranelle he showed the world his skills and lead the team to a cup victory. Rowan thought he was at the top of the world, until the THL, the Terrasen Hockey League, found him and got his first offer. After three years in Doranelle, Rowan was called by Perranth with an offer that was impossible to turn down. Rowan’s career exploded, brought him across different teams in Terrasen until he landed in Orynth as captain for the Hawks. Together they won a cup and other teams kept begging for trades but Rowan always refused saying that he had finally found his team.

His career had been on a trajectory for more success until the last season. 

Until the final game in the championship when they battled the Skull’s bay Pirates for the cup.

Until…

A deep breath and he stopped as the usual wave of nausea hit him and the fuzzy memory of that night threatened to surface and break him.

If he closed his eyes he could still hear the sound of his body colliding with violence against the boards. The pain. The terror and then the darkness.

Still on the bench, Rowan shook his head, trying to chase away the memory. His team had won, after Lorcan had led the Hawks to the triumph while seeking revenge for his captain.

Even with his team mates chasing minor penalties to avenge him. Even with Lorcan getting a five minutes major for roughing after he thumped Rolfe, they still had won.

Rowan had been in a hospital bed when they told him. He should have been elated, but all he had felt was emptiness.

He blamed it on the bad concussion. His team had explained him that Rolfe had checked him from the back, pushing violently against the boards. His head had taken a bad hit as he collapsed on the ice.

All Rowan remembered was the sound of Lorcan’s voice calling for a major penalty on Rolfe, the feeling of ice under him and the taste of blood.

Another shake of his head to clear his mind and finally Rowan stood, gripping the edge of the gate. That was progress. He had made it a bit farther than last time. This time, the gate was actually open and his right foot was on the ice. He took a deep breath and the left foot joined his companion on the ice. Gently, he pushed himself away from the boards and stood there. He stared at the Hawk logo painted under the ice and then took a tentative skate towards the middle. But when he paused and took a look at the empty stadium, memories betrayed him and the screams and the noise of a game hit him. His head started pounding and a moment later he found himself sitting at the centre of the rink, his chest tight and his breathing laboured. A panic attack.

“Are you okay?” A voice called behind him.

He heard the distinctive sound of blades scraping the ice but did not turn until he saw a woman kneeling in front of him. Even in his confused state he could not fail to notice that she was the most stunning creature he ever saw. Her hair was blonde and tied in a tight high bun and her eyes. The woman in front of him had deep blue eyes with a ring of gold in them.

Was he dead? Had he actually died on that hockey game and this was finally heaven? Was she an angel?

“Hey, you okay?”

She touched his shoulder and felt real. No. He was still alive.

“You fell?”

He nodded lightly.

“Come on big guy, get up, I need the ice.”

“Oh.”

“I have a class coming and I have the rink booked up.”

Rowan stared at the woman, she had black leggings and a jumper. Her body was definitely the one of an athlete but at the same time he could see elegance in the way she stood on the skates in front of him.

“Come on, off the ice.”

“Hey, I can use the rink too. How much space are you going to need?”

“The whole of it?”

He scoffed “I just need a small part.”

Aelin snorted “The ‘learn to skate’ class is tomorrow morning.”

Rowan stared at her aghast. Did she have no idea who he was?”

“I can skate.”

“You fell and look unsteady. I doubt it, big boy.”

“What, you never fell in your life?”

Something strange passed in her eyes and Rowan had a feeling it was hurt.

“You really have no idea who am I?”

The woman folded her arms at het chest “Should I?”

“Captain Whitethorn of the Hawks.”

She snorted loudly “a hockey barbarian, I should have suspected.” Her tone dripped disgust.

“I assume you don’t follow it.”

“What, watch a game where ten men skate on the ice like brutes and pound each others just for the sake of it?” She protested, not moving from her stance “the only thing I know is that you oafs destroy my ice and it takes the Zamboni a lifetime to repair the mess you make.”

He was about to reply when he heard voices and saw a group of kids entering the ice “Well, princess, your class is here,” he touched his head in salute and in a powerful move he skated to the opposite side of the rink, well far away from the woman.

*

It was later on when he finally left the venue with a sliver of hope. It had been his first day out on the ice since the accident and he had gone through some basics exercises that coach Gavriel had recommended. It had not been easy and being back on the ice had felt alien all of a sudden. A few times he had stopped to watch the strange woman teach young kids figure skating. He had watched her demonstrate some basic moves and he had been totally enthralled by her.

Now he was finally home and a smile appeared on his face when a little tornado crashed against his legs “dad, you are back.”

Rowan kneeled and kissed the girl who was his clone “I am, muffin, did you have a great time with grampa and nana?”

“Yes, we baked.” She grabbed his hand and dragged her father in the kitchen where on the table lay numerous trays of chocolate biscuits.

“Did you bake for an army?” He asked his mother.

“We are taking some of them for her friends at skating classes.”

Aside from hockey, Rowan had another big love in his life. His daughter Maya. His life. His everything. Maya had been born five years earlier from his first marriage. He had met Lyria still back in Wendlyn. Lyria was a rising star in the world of figure skating. He had fallen hard for her and a year after dating he had asked her to marry him. Not long after they got married he got drafted in the THL and Lyria refused to move due to her busy competition schedule. One of the biggest championship was happening in Wendlyn that year and Lyria wanted the win. 

Lyria’s dream got destroyed when she discovered she was pregnant. Rowan had gone back to Wendlyn to watch one of her competitions but Lyria never turned up. She gave birth to a baby girl a month before the world championship.

The day after she had been discharged she had served him the divorce papers and a letter in which she renounced to all her rights as mother. Lyria had left the house the following day. No goodbyes, no last words. Just a a note on the bed reading You ruined my dreams.

Two days later he was back in Terrasen with a newborn baby and a career as pro hockey player. He had tried to find some information on Lyria after he was back. She had moved to a land very far across the ocean and had tried to restart her career but eventually gave up and became a trainer.

“Were you on the ice?” Asked his father sitting at his side on the sofa.

Rowan closed his eyes and nodded.

“How did it feel?”

“Alien,” the answer barely a whisper “I hated being on the ice, dad.”

“It takes time.”

“The team will be back from summer training camp in two weeks and then we need start preparing for the season. We have the first friendly game at the beginning of September against Perranth. I don’t have much time.”

Alasdair placed a gentle hand on his son shoulder “I know, but recovery takes time. Especially after such trauma.”

“I am the captain and I am letting my team down.”

Alasdair was about to reply but Maya came running and screaming for her father’s attention. “Dad, nana says that dinner is ready. Wash your hands.”

The girl was about to run away but Rowan stood in a powerful motion and lifted his daughter upside down on his shoulder. Maya laughed freely and patted his back screaming to be let free.

Rowan deposited his daughter on her chair and inhaled the scent on his mother’s cooking.

Being a famous THL player came with perks. He had signed a very good contract with the Hawks that allowed him to live a very comfortable life. He had bought a beautiful house in the outskirts of Orynth near nature. While all of his team mates had modern luxury mansions in the centre, he had gone for a cottage that he had slowly expanded and fixed up. It was cozy and, most of all, Maya loved it. They had a lake at the back that in summer was used for swimming and in winter they would use to skate together. Most of his money went to make sure his daughter had a good life. When he came back from Wendlyn with an infant, his parents had flown to Terrasen to help him and Rowan would be forever grateful to his parents for the help they had given him especially when he was away for his games. 

His mother’s voice woke him from his thoughts “Are you taking Maya to the rink tomorrow morning? It’s her learn to skate class.”

“Yes. I need to go and train anyway.”

“Rowan, you should not push yourself too much.” 

He sighed. His mum was a sports doctor and she saw his situation from the point of view of a physician. His hand curled in a fist and took a deep breath, he knew his parents were just looking after him “Mum, I am just getting again familiar with the ice.”

“Nana, can you skate?”

Rowan mentally thanked his daughter for the interruption.

“Yes, my love. Your grampa taught me to skate a long time ago.”

Maya smiled happily.

“Once the lake is once again frozen we can go you and I so you can show me all you have learned.”

The girl’s grin spread and her green eyes brightened in happiness “my teacher said I am good.”

Eiddwen lifted the girl on her legs and stamped a kiss on her cheek “of course baby, you are a Whitethorn.”

The dinner eventually finished and after his parents left, he took his daughter upstairs and helped her get ready for bed. 

She climbed in bed and grabbed her soft toy “dad, can you tell me a story of when you won a cup?”

Rowan smiled and sat at her side. Maya had grown surrounded by hockey. Her grampa, although retired, was still an important personality in the hockey federation. He would take Maya to the games if possible and would explain what was happening. She loved listening to some of the stories of his victories from both her dad and her grampa. 

“You don’t want a story from the last book we bought?”

Maya shook her head “not tonight.”

Rowan sat properly with his back against the board of the bed and pulled Maya against him “It was the third period of the cup final and we were down by one and down one man….”

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[goddess-aelin]

Little Falcon

For day 22 of Rowaelin Month: Magic/Shifting lessons with the kids

@rowaelinscourt

Masterlist

Word count: 1k

Warnings: none!

Aelin was going to kill him, she truly was. She usually was a forgiving soul, one of the kindest people he knew despite her penchant for violence and general mischief. But for this, she would kill him.

Because he committed probably the worst act he could have ever committed. Worse than killing a man. Worse than forgetting Aelin’s birthday. Worse than eating his wife’s chocolate hazelnut cake. No, Rowan lost their daughter. Alma was almost four years old, her blonde, shining hair always a beacon and her quiet, yet temperamental disposition a mirror of her mother’s. It seemed that she had also inherited her mother’s ability to sneak around. Because she wasn’t here. She wasn’t anywhere.

He’d been searching the castle for almost an hour, hoping to find the little trickster before Aelin was done with her meeting. He began in Alma’s room, hoping that her golden hair would be sticking out from her covers or her tiny toes from under her bed. No such luck was found. He made his way around the royal family’s wing of the castle with the same circumstances. He quietly asked the staff members if they had seen her, all to a resounding “no” and a look of disapproval that he lost Alma.

He was about to shift into hawk form to do a fly-by of the castle grounds but before he could, he heard footsteps coming up the stairs to their wing. Alma. Relieved, he rounded the corner, shouting her name and about to give the little girl a stern talking to when he stopped in his tracks. Aelin was standing in front of him, one brow raised and a knowing look on her face.

“Why were you calling Alma’s name?”

Rowan let out a nervous chuckle. “Well, you see…” He knew Aelin could probably see the sweat beading on his forehead. “Alma and I, we were….we were playing hide and seek! Yeah. And she’s just so good at hiding that I can’t find her.”

Aelin rolled her eyes. “You’re a terrible liar, Buzzard. Just tell me you lost our daughter so we can go find her.”

He deflated at that. “Fine. I lost our daughter. Happy now?”

“Not particularly, no.” Aelin sighed. “I was gone for less than two hours, Rowan. How did this happen?”

“Errin needed to be changed so I stepped out of her room for a minute. A single minute, Aelin. And the next thing I knew, she was gone.” Panic laced his voice and he knew that he was about five seconds from completely losing his shit. It was a miracle he had kept it together this long, to be quite honest.

“I put Errin in his crib for a nap–don’t worry, one of the nursemaids is in there with him–and I came back and she was just gone. I didn’t even hear her little feet scamper by or anything. I don’t understand it.” Tears were finally forming in his eyes as the realization that he lost their daughter set in.

Slender arms wrapped around his middle, embracing him tightly. “It’s okay, Buzzard. We’ll find her, okay? We’ll look together and we’ll find her.” Even if Aelin was putting on a brave front, he knew she was probably panicking as much as he was. “Besides, she has the bravery of both of her parents so I’m sure she’s totally fine.” Aelin gave him a small smile and pulled him by the hand toward her room.

Gradually, they overturned every cushion, ripped every blanket from her bed, and opened everyy door and drawer but still no Alma. Rowan tugged on his hair, hoping to relieve some of the tension that was building in the pit of his stomach again. Aelin was slowly putting everything back to where it was so he figured he’d go and make another round of their bedroom.

Aelin’s voice halted him about halfway down the hall. “Uh, hey, Buzzard?”

He doesn’t think he ever ran so fast in his life. With panicked eyes, he burst into the room like a tornado. Aelin was standing calmly in the center of the room, looking up at the small curtain rod that hung over Alma’s bed.

“Look there,” she pointed toward the ceiling where a small bird was perched on the curtain rod. A suspiciously golden-looking falcon stared back at him and chirped. The tiny falcon flapped its wings, getting enough air to rise up from its perch and glide down to land on Rowan’s shoulder.

Aelin’s voice was breathless when she spoke, “Is that–”

Rowan nodded. “I think it is.” Rowan brought a single finger up to gently pet the bird’s head, it’s color too close to Alma’s blonde waves for it to be a coincidence.

As his finger stopped its motion, a bright light flashed and then there was a familiar weight in his arms. He was shocked into silence as he beheld Alma sitting in his arms, smiling.

“I was hidin’ Daddy!”

Slowly, so as not to startle her, Rowan brought her into the tightest embrace he could manage without crushing her little bones. “I can see that,” he choked out. When he looked up at Aelin, she had a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. She gave him a look that seemed to say, Well, shit.

“Alma, how long have you been able to do that? Turn into a bird?”

“I not just any bird, Daddy! I’s a falcon! Uncle Fen said so!”

“Uncle Fen knew about this?” Alma nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah! He said I should sup’rise you.”

Rowan smiled tightly at his daughter. “Consider me surprised, little falcon.”

His daughter put her tiny hands over her mouth and giggled. The sight made his cold heart melt. But quickly, the severity of the situation overtook him.

“You have to let me know when you’re going to shift, okay? I want to teach you how to fly safely so you don’t hurt yourself.”

“Daddy, you’re bein’ a Buzzard. Jus’ like Mommy always says.”

Rowan’s mouth hung open. Aelin’s cackle could be heard throughout the castle as she doubled over in hysterics.

Eventually, Aelin’s laughter died down and she met his eyes through her tears. I’ll get you back for that, Fireheart.

Mmhm, sure. Not before you murder Fenrys though, right?

Rowan gave a curt nod and pulled his giggling little falcon back into his arms. She placed a tiny hand over the tattoo on his face.

“Daddy, I can’t wait to fly with you! It’s gonna be so much fun.” And with that, she snuggled into his arms once more.

Maybe murdering Fenrys could wait a few more minutes.

A/N: I absolutely loved writing this one and I was squealing from cuteness while doing so 🥹

Tagging:

@cretaceous-therapod @morganofthewildfire @tomtenadia @live-the-fangirl-life @charlizeed @violet-mermaid7 @euphoric-melancholyy @kritical24 @rubyriveraqueen @dealfea @wellofnothing @ayaashryver @moonknight-spector @leiawritesstories @whoever-you-choose-to-love @holdthefrickup @heirofflowers @thecrispypotatochip @shanias-world @rowanaelinn @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity @hanging-from-a-cliff @fantacysoup @swankii-art-teacher @thegreyj @fromthelibraryofemilyj @westofmoon @lovely-dove-zee @books4eva04 @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @backtobl4ck @dreamer-133 @elentiyawhitethorn @writtenonreceipts @shyvioletcat @aelinchocolatelover @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @athena127 @tothestarsandwhateverend @highqueenofelfhame

#rowaelin #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelinmonth2023 #rowaelin month #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin fic #throne of glass #throne of glass fanfiction #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #my fics #my fic

[jeannineee]

Hi! Could you please do a smut with Rowan that’s just like super loving and he’s like rlly gentle with you?

Thanks love your fics🩷

Lover

Rowan Whitethorn x Reader

nsfw under the cut (18+ please)

The moment you tried to climb out of bed, Rowan’s strong arms immediately yanked you back, pulling you flush against his chest.

“Not yet,” he murmured sleepily into your hair.

“I have meetings to attend.”

“And?”

“And, I’ll be late if you don’t let me go.”

“Tragic.”

“Rowan,” you groaned.

“Y/n,” he drawled, peppering kisses along the side of your neck, your shoulder.

You sighed softly at the sensation, melting into his touch. “You’re mean…”

Rowan smiled against your skin, lightly grazing his teeth over it. “I didn’t realize giving my mate affection was mean.”

He trailed a hand up your thigh, slowly inching underneath your nightgown. His lips continued their work, sucking softly on the skin below your ear.

A quiet moan fell from your lips as his hand made contact with the wetness between your legs.

Rowan dragged a single finger through your slick folds, before pushing into your cunt. He growled as your walls tightened around him.

He slowly inserted a second finger, setting a slow, lazy pace. You craned your neck to press your lips to his, tongues battling with one another.

“So perfect,” he murmured against your lips, curling his fingers against your sweet spot. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

Rowan withdrew his fingers suddenly, a subtle smirk on his face as you mewled at the loss of contact. He turned you on your back, settling your thighs on either side of his hips. He guided his hardened length to your entrance, before slowly entering you, filling you to the brim. He gave you a few moments to adjust to his size as he leaned forward, interlocking your hands with his against the mattress.

His thrusts were slow and deep, each one sending jolts of pleasure throughout your entire body. You could feel him through the bond: his love, his adoration. He buried his face into the crook of you neck, murmuring words of praise.

“That’s it,” he groaned as your walls fluttered around him. “You always take me so well, sweetheart.”

It wasn’t long before your release began building. Rowan could sense it, bringing a hand down to circle your clit.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered against your ear. “Come for me.”

His name fell from your lips like a prayer as he coaxed you through your orgasm, your body shuddering beneath him. His thrusts grew sloppier as he chased his own release.

“I love you,” you breathed, still coming down from the high of your pleasure.

It was then that Rowan found his release, a string of curses falling from his lips as he spilled into you, before stilling completely. He remained on top of you, the only sounds in the room being your shared breathing.

You weren’t sure how much time passed before Rowan spoke again.

“You are definitely going to be late, y/n.”

#throne of glass #smut #tog smut #throne of glass smut #throne of glass fanfiction #rowan whitethorn #rowan whitethorn smut #rowan whitethorn x reader #fluff #Rowan Whitethorn fluff #throne of glass fluff

[danikamariewrites]

Hi! I really love your writing! Can u request rowan x reader where they have a fight and she gives him the cold shoulder and he gets a taste of his own medicine for the first time? 😭

Cold Shoulder

Rowan x reader

Warnings: some angst

You heard the bedroom door open and shut. Rowan’s heavy booted footsteps walking around, searching every corner of the room for you.

You got into a fight this morning but had been ignoring him all day. You were only doing what he would do. For once he tried to come to you first to talk about the argument. But you wanted him to squirm for a little while longer.

Currently, you were sitting in the bathtub with the lights off. You weren’t taking a bath, you were just avoiding Rowan.

Rowan approached the bathroom door, jiggling the doorknob. He sighs, “y/n, I know your in there. Please let me in? I want to talk, please?” His voice breaks at the last please. Rolling your eyes you use your magic to unlock the door.

He slowly enters. You cross your arms, turning your face away from him. He sits on the floor next to the tub and places his hand on the ledge. You stay silent, hell bent on giving him the silent treatment like he has done to you.

“Y/n?” He whispers, “y/n I’m so sorry about the morning. I didn’t mean what I said, I was just…I was stressed. I just want you to be safe.” You let out an annoyed sigh.

“Please say something?” You turn to face him. Your brow furrowed and your lips set in a frown. “I’m upset that you think I can’t take care of myself. I know you want to protect me but I can fight too Ro. I just hate when you treat me like I’m some glass figurine.”

You turn away from him again, leaning on the far ledge of the tub. Rowan rubs at his face. “I know. I’m just afraid to lose you. And I know that’s not an excuse but I am sorry.”

Silence lingers between you. You knew he was truly sorry. Giving him the silent treatment wasn’t fair, you knew how it felt. Your shoulders slump as you let out a sad sigh.

Rowan climbs in the tub, wrapping his arms around your middle and pulling you into his lap. He ticks your head under his chin as he strokes your hair. “You can keep giving me the silent treatment if that makes you feel better.”

“No. It won’t. I hated it so it’s not fair, though you deserve it.” You chuckle. “Good. It was driving me crazy.”

tags: @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane

#throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass imagine #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass x reader #throne of glass #throne of glass Rowan #rowan whitethorn #rowan whitethorn x reader #rowan x reader #rowan x you #rowan whitethorn x you

[shadowdaddies]

I'm going to self project here, but can I request Fenrys beating the living sh*t out of reader's abuser? I need this... as self-care ngl

I'm not sure why I spent so long building the backstory for Reader but it was fun and I kind of want to write a series based on it now? Anywho, Fenrys does a little more than beat up the abuser👀 I got carried away oops

Hope Reborn

Fenrys Moonbeam x Reader

Warnings: mentions of violence, slavery, just very canon-typical trauma beware

During Adarlan’s conquest of Terrasen, you tried to escape to the Southern Continent with the man you had been in a relationship with, following his lead on a path he had charted for the both of you through the Perranth Mountains to head south.

It was outside the city of Perranth when Adarlan soldiers stopped you. Knowing that your attire immediately gave you away as Orynthian, you took your partner’s hand, ready to flee for your lives back into the forest. The pain of losing your home, your family, your culture, hadn’t broken you yet. But as the man you loved held out his hand for a couple coins, yanking you toward the soldiers’ waiting arms, you shattered. 

The one person you had left in this world, who you believed that you could trust, had sold you for a couple pieces of silver. He walked into the forest, never turning back. Never seeing the beatings, the unspeakable things the Adarlan soldiers did to you on the way to Endovier.

You became a slave in the salt mines, learning the language of Eyllwe from those imprisoned alongside you. One girl, a few years younger than you, was also from Terrasen. The two of you would talk and reminisce on the fields of pine trees and memories of Orynth. Her name was Celaena, and when she was taken from Endovier to the king’s castle, you weren’t sure that you could handle losing one more person in your life.

Months passed as you labored away in the salt mines, reflecting on the family and friends you’d lost, and the man who betrayed you. As you dared a look around the dirt yard, eyeing the guards as they taunted the other slaves with their whips, you became resolute in your plan for vengeance - against your former lover, against the guards, against the king.

So when you woke up that fateful morning to see the riots had begun, you grabbed your pick axe, cutting down any guard who dared to stand in your way as you ran for your freedom. You were one of the few who survived the riot, but at this point you were a shell of the human being you once were. You didn’t know light or love. You only knew survival. 

Learning your lesson from before, you stole drying clothing from a nearby village and began your journey southeast towards Rifthold. You found a life in the city as a barmaid in a tavern while you slept in an abandoned apartment, biding your time while you created a plan.

The perfect opportunity fell into your lap one rainy night, that you had no idea would change your life forever. You were leaving the tavern after a long shift, your cloak tugged over your head moreso to avoid any men approaching you than to keep your hair dry. 

A woman running down the street caught your eye, and you stopped to watch as she leapt into the arms of a man. Her own hood fell down, revealing reddish-blonde hair as the couple embraced for a long moment. You were about to turn away, eager to escape the rain when the woman turned, locking eyes with you.

A choked sob escaped you as you recognized her. Tanner, healthier, happy - but you would know those distinct golden-turquoise eyes anywhere. She must have recognized you too, for Celaena bolted towards you, pulling you in as you were hugged for the first time in years.

“How are you here?” she said through tears, glancing over her shoulder as three other people slowly approached behind her. 

You smiled, sniffling as you wiped happy tears from your eyes. “I got out during the uprising. How are you here?”

Celaena looked towards her friends, giving a slight nod to the two males in particular before turning back to you. “Will you come with me?”

That small piece of hope inside of you sparked at her offer, and you found yourself nodding, letting yourself be led into yet another unknown. You followed the group up to an apartment, where Celaena sat you down and explained who she really was.

Your world tilted on its axis as you were filled with more hope than you had since the conquest of Terrasen, immediately swearing allegiance to Aelin, your queen. You traveled with her group to Skull’s Bay, finding your purpose in preparing Terrasen for war against Erawan, and to reestablish your home.

It was in Skull’s Bay that you met Fenrys, the most beautiful male you had ever seen. You formed an instant connection, drawn to his jovial nature. He was incessantly kind and positive despite everything that he had been through, the perfect balance and glimmer of light that you had been searching for your entire life. 

And yet, all good things seem to be ripped from you. Fenrys and Aelin were taken from you, leaving a hole in your heart that could never be filled, never be rebuilt. If not for Rowan’s determination, his drive to find his wife, you might have been broken completely. But your new family gave you the strength you needed to find Aelin and Fenrys. 

As a human, you didn’t know if you were capable of having a bond, but what you felt for Fenrys - how you swore you could feel his pain, how he missed you while he was with Maeve - was as close to a bond as you could imagine. It wasn’t a spark of hope that flared in your chest when you reunited with Fenrys when he escaped Maeve, it was an eternal flame. You knew that you would marry this male one day.

When that day came, and you stood beside your husband as part of Queen Aelin’s Court in front of all of Terrasen, the last person you expected to see what the man you once loved. The man who sold you into slavery, standing to the side with the rest of the courtiers.

Rage filled you, at him, at Adarlan, at yourself, at the world for allowing a man so vile to not only survive, but seemingly thrive. You hadn’t realized how much your grip on Fenrys’s hand had tightened until your husband winced - but instead of pulling away, he lifted your hand to his lips. 

Pressing a gentle kiss to the back of your hand, Fenrys’s onyx eyes found yours, drawing you from those dark thoughts. “What is it, my love?” he asked, voice so soft you could melt into it.

You swallowed thickly, forbidding yourself from giving that spineless excuse for a man another look. Taking a deep breath, you pulled Fenrys in for a hug as you murmured your confession into his shirt. “You know my first love? Who sold me to Endovier? He’s here. In the blue jacket.”

Fenrys stiffened under your touch, fae instincts taking over as a low growl formed in his throat. You swore you felt the temperature in the room rise as your husband honed in on the man like a predator. 

“What do you want me to do?” he whispered, voice lethally quiet as he held you close.

Looking up, you couldn’t help the genuine smile that brightened your features as you savored the feeling of this male, who you knew would do anything for you. This male who gave you the love you never dreamed was possible. 

“I don’t want you to do anything. I have everything I need, and more,” you whispered back, standing up on your toes to pull him in for a kiss. 

Fenrys gave you a wolfish grin, seemingly satisfied with your answer before he dared to look back into the crowd. His gaze flicked to where Rowan stood on the dais, the two in silent communication, before Rowan declared court dismissed. 

“I have some matters to take care of with Rowan, and I will be back shortly. Alright, my love?” Fenrys questioned, a kiss to your temple before you nodded, heading back to the sitting room where Aelin and Lysandra shortly joined you.

Time passed as you relaxed, enjoying chocolates and discussing books with your friends when Rowan stumbled through the door, Fenrys behind him. The two males had blood staining their shirts, busted knuckles quickly healing as they noticed your concerned expression. 

Clearing his throat, Fenrys brushed his blonde hair from his face as he strode towards you in an attempt at acting nonchalant. 

“Fen, love, what did you do?” you drawled, arching an assessing brow as you sipped your tea. 

“Nothing. Rowan and I had some matters to attend to, as I said,” he shrugged, reaching for a chocolate from the table in front of you. Understanding dawned, and you gasped.

Reaching for his bloodied hand, you pulled it towards you as you examined the wounds. “Fenrys Moonbeam! You did not hit that man, did you? I don’t need to worry about him anymore, love.”

Rowan snorted from where he lounged on the arm of Aelin’s chair. “He didn’t just hit him,” Rowan paused, green eyes focusing on you with sincerity. “And trust me, you will not have to worry about him ever again.”

Alarmed, you glanced to Lysandra in disbelief, your friend shaking her head as she lifted a chocolate to her mouth. “I wouldn’t ask them to elaborate if I were you,” she muttered, popping the dessert with a satisfied moan.

Rubbing your temples, you stood, wrapping Fenrys’s arms around you as you buried your head against his warm, toned chest. 

“Are you mad?” he whispered.

With a deep sigh, you looked up, brushing back his blonde curls behind his ear as you admired his glittering black eyes, all anxiety leaving your body. “Officially speaking, I don’t condone your actions. But I love you, and whatever I did in some past life to deserve someone like you...” You trailed off, drawing the back of your hand down his cheek. “Thank you for giving me hope, Fenrys Moonbeam.”

#throne of glass #throne of glass imagine #throne of glass fanfiction #throne of glass x reader #fenrys throne of glass #fenrys moonbeam #fenrys x reader #fenrys tog #throne of glass fenrys #aelin ashryver galathynius #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass x you #throne of glass x reader angst #throne of glass angst #throne of glass fluff #tog imagine #tog x reader #tog x you #fenrys fluff

[rowaelinsdaughter]

OUR DOLL

a/n;; this is the dirtiest thing i've ever written, and you can see that i got a liiiiiitle carried by this... but come on!!! they are rowan and aelin. 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ im on my knees for them.

WARNINGS;; smut without plot, degradation(?), orgasm denial, mommy and daddy dynamics, overstimulation, m!oral, aelin uses a strap on reader (this was so 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️)

rowan whitethorn was tired. his day had been filled with meetings. meeting after meeting. he was tired of diplomacy, of talking and everything. the only thing he wanted was to be in bed with his mates.

he made his way to their room when he heard a noise. a slap. stopping on the door, he sharpens his hearing, trying to figure out what it was. another sound. this time a moan. your moan. you were moaning. 

he opened the door, carefully not to disturb. your moans were louder now that he was inside.

“you like it, doll?” aelin said. her voice full of lust. 

fuck. rowan thought. he made his way to the open door of the bedroom, and the sight before him… fuck fuck fuck.

aelin was seated on the bed, her back on the headboard as she watched you bounce on her dick. a strap. aelin was using a strap on you, and you were bouncing like you would do on his dick. your eyes were close. moans leaving your mouth as aelin’s hands roamed over your body. a slap on your butt and the other hand was massaging your tit. 

rowan touched his dick. he wanted to release it from his pants. 

his eyes found aelin’s. a smirk on her face as she stops you, a whimper leaving your lips. 

“you like the sight, rowan?” your eyes follow aelin���s and you found rowan on the door. his dick begging to be free from his pants, and his eyes full of lust. 

you feel aelin on your side, her lips brushing your ear. “why don’t you turn around and beg to rowan?” 

a little nod and with her help, you turn around, your back pressed on aelin’s chest. you look at rowan through you lashes and notice that his shirt was gone, as well as his pants and underwear. the sight before you makes your walls clench around her dick, buried deep inside you. rowan grabs your neck so you are looking at him. lust and fervent desire. you look at his dick, precum was dripping from it. his hand moves to your neck and squeezes it, you look at his eyes again.

“you like my dick, doll? you want to suck it?” 

aelin bites your shoulder. “answer doll”

“yes”

“yes, what?” rowan demands.

“yes daddy” you answer, a wicked smile on their faces.

with her fae speed, aelin maneuvers you, and now you are on your hands and knees. her hands grabs your hips and she leaves a little from your cunt, making you whimper at the loss. rowan catches your hair creating a ponytail and before he can tell you what to do, your mouth is open and your tongue is out. an invitation. 

a breathy curse leaves his lips and with a push oh his hips, his dick is inside your mouth. at the same time aelin shoves her dick against your throbbing cunt. your body shrives at the sensation and a cry falls from your lips. they both start with the same rhythm, your body is on fire and you think you can die just from having them. 

“gods… look at you doll. such a dirty girl, just for us” aelin says with a harsh thrust to your cunt. if she wasn’t grabbing you, you would have fallen to the bed. 

“that’s it aelin, she’s our dirty girl, just our- fuck”  rowan hand gripped your hair as he cum on your mouth and aelin stops her hips. “that’s it, take it all doll, just like that. good girl”

aelin takes your hands, and with a pull you’re on your knees again, unable to move your hands thanks to her. rowan’s mouth is inches from your’s, his hands massaging your tits and pinching your nipples. 

“what do you want, doll?”

“i wanna cum, please”

rowan bites your shoulder and his lips travel to your ear. “where are your manners, doll?”

you shallow. “i wanna cum, please, mommy, daddy let me cum please, i’ve been a good girl, please” a tear falls from your eye and you feel aelin lick it. “good girl… we should let him cum rowan?”

“mmm, i think she has been a good girl for us” aelin thrusts into your pussy as rowan’s hand rubs your clit. 

the pounding is incessant, and you know the whole castle can hear you moaning, but they don’t care, let them know they are the only ones who can make you cry from pleasure.

“i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna-” a cry and you’re coming on aelin’s dick as they both bite your neck on each side. your body feels dizzy, your breaths are difficult as you feel like you're in heaven. aelin removes the strap from you, a little groan falling from your lips. she goes to the bathroom to prepare everything.

“let’s go bath, doll”

“i don’t-” a pair of arms raise you from bed, and you hear aelin closing the water. once you all are bathed, they take you to bed, each of them on your sides. a kiss on your shoulder and lips is the last thing you remember. 

“we love you, doll”

all rights reserved to ©rowaelinsdaughter. no tranlations allowed. no copy theme. don not copy my work.

tagging;; @shadowdaddies @thehighladywrites @hellwantfuckme

#fanfic #sjm books #sarah j maas #throne of glass #throne of glass imagine #throne of glass fanfiction #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #rowaelin fic #rowan fanfic #rowaelin x reader #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin #rowaelin smut #rowaelin x you #rowan x you #rowan x reader #aelin x f!reader #aelin x you #aelin x reader #tog x reader #tog fic #tog #tog smut

[aelinschild]

Season Of Forgiveness

Main Masterlist

Happy Holidays everyone!! I'm a little (Very, sorry!!) late with this post, but this is my gift for the 2023 Rowaelin Secret Santa! Big thank you to @rowaelinscourt for organizing it!! This is dedicated to the lovely @shyvioletcat , I wish you a very merry holiday season, and hopefully you enjoy this absolute monstrosity. I actually do not know what took over me during writing this, but I'm just happy its done.

SYNOPSIS: Holidays are known to be the season of joy, but when that joy is no longer Aelin's, she is forced to find peace in the unknown. WORDCOUNT: 9k GENERAL WARNINGS: Very light one bed trope, mentions of sex, angsty for no reason, swearing, alcohol, arguments, choking and CPR, happy ending dont worry

(A/N: After writing this, I realize it has the same vibe of calling Die Hard a Christmas movie. Granted, I actually didn't finish the movie, but from what I watched, how the fuck is it a Christmas movie?? This is me telling you that this fic is probably like that lol)

Hour One

Fuck.

There was really no other way to put it. Fuck is such a versatile word, situationally. Aelin can recount the times she's moaned out breathy fucks, and the times she's roared them during moronic altercations. 

This type of fuck? Certainly not the cathartic type. 

This fuck is the sum of all past mistakes in her life, multiplied by her best friend's scheming mind, and then raised to the power of the irrational choice to return to her old university town. 

On the queen-sized bed were two plush towels. A robe. Face cloths and minimal toiletries. 

Oh, and a fucking red rose. 

In Lysandra’s plush apartment – a classic Victorian style, with ivy creeping up the brick fireplace, and stained glass windows at odd intervals – she was the owner of three bedrooms. 

And to Aelin's luck, there happened to be two couples staying here this evening. Which meant two of the three bedrooms were now occupied. Mathematically speaking, the two other individuals would each need their own room. 

It seems that math slipped Lysandra's mind when she organized her little yearly anniversary Yulemas Eve dinner. How…pleasant.

Chest rising and falling with barely contained frustration, Aelin didn't know whether to yell or cry. Her hand held her overnight bag so tight her knuckles were pressing at the whites. Nails digging into supple skin. 

It didn't take a genius to figure out what Lysandra had done. But it took a lot of willpower for Aelin to not storm out of the room and choke her friend for the transgression. And just past the blood rushing in her ears, she could hear the friendly greetings of her other friends as they crossed the threshold of Lys’ little home. Welcomed into the warmth of tradition. 

Oh, I'm going to kill you, Lysandra. 

Aedion and Lys would – obviously – take their master bedroom. Located around a corner and at the end of that hall. Far from where Aelin was. A feature she was grateful for, given Aedion and Lysandra's… healthy love life. And Lorcan and Elide would slip into the downstairs spare room. The one the couple had claimed during the first year of this tradition. 

Leaving Aelin, in this spare room with a queen-sized bed and the bloody rose, to bed with Rowan. 

Oh, how she loathed her life at this moment. What foul god had she angered to be punished this way. Maybe that same god would derail Rowan’s cab en route. Shucking it into a frozen lake, or something of the like. 

Gently brushing over the towels, Aelin traced the other memories this room held. 

The queen-sized bed hardly fit her and Rowan, that she knew from experience. His height alone ruined the tucked edges of their duvet, which always ended up on his side of the bed by morning. The pillows would have to be mushed together in the middle so that they would not fall off. And Rowan, he at night would roll around. Restless, even in the deepest hours. He would usually end up on top of Aelin, face along her breasts and hair tickling her chin. 

Her fingers moved from the towel to the rose. Plucking it up, she held it at eye level. Studying the contours of the flower, it was beautiful. But Aelin couldn't get past the fact that Lysandra had set this up. And put a godsdamned rose on the towels. 

Aelin might just take the couch. 

The front door opened and closed again, voices rose up from the entry through the open bedroom door. Aelin began unpacking mechanically. The drawers where she set her clothes were the same as she had for the last decade. The dent on the wall by the left corner was also the same. Seems like Aedion never got around to patching it. Aelin chuckles under her breath, the talking-to she and Rowan had received after denting the wall from a vigorous…activity, would never fail to not make her laugh. 

Once the unpacking was complete, only taking a few moments as Aelin wouldn't be staying longer than the night, she took a moment to sit on her side of the bed and breathe. 

This would be disastrous. And she had no way of getting out. Unless she jumped from the window to her left. 

A decade ago, Aelin and Rowan had met through their friends. Their family. Aedion had bridged the gap by dating her best friend, Lysandra. Their quickly evolving and fiery romance meant that there would no longer be Aelin-Elide-Lys days. Now, they included the Ashryver cousin. Lorcan and Rowan had been over Aedion’s lovesick puppy act and had forcibly inserted themselves into the group. As her cousin rarely left Lysandra's side anymore. 

This meant that Aelin and Elide were left to deal with two grumpy college guys. It was like babysitting rocks, who could probably show more emotion than the lot of them. But somehow, somewhere along the line, Elide fell for Lorcan. And when Aelin was forced to watch another friend fall in love, she turned to the only bastard left. 

But Aelin and Rowan had always been…different. Difficult entirely. It started as sex. Each of them too busy with their respective degrees to foster any more of a connection. 

It worked, and it worked well. 

For two years, Aelin was exclusive with Rowan Whitethorn without anyone knowing the depth of their friendship. To her girlfriends, he was the hot guy whom Aelin should really give a chance. To his boys, she was the girl who could obviously help blow off a little steam. 

Time stretched out, and steadiness had replaced the need for romantic connection. Post graduation, Rowan and her barely crossed paths anymore, unless the entire group got together. But there still existed an attachment built during years of intimacy – which Aelin never voiced, not wanting to ruin the entire affair by breaking the principle rule of their arrangement. And due to that principle, Rowan had also never expressed any interest above surface-level desire. 

She had been left in the dark of his feelings for her, just as she had left him in the dark of hers. They were two polar magnets, separated only by the fear of shattering the fragile closeness built from tentative familiarity. Neither were any good at subtly hinting at something. 

When the parallel lines of their lives crossed, ever-diligent Rowan proposed something rather different. Unpredictable.

He offered a relationship. 

Looking back, it was hilariously clinical. It wouldn't surprise her if he had stored papers in her bag with a list of what their relationship could entail. Numbered – or alphabetically ordered. Probably about who did what and when hand-holding was allowed. Such a stickler for the rules.

But Rowan had shocked Aelin that night. When she had said yes, fuck it let's give it a chance, and they had gone back to his apartment, there was a bouquet of fragrant red roses placed on the counter. A box of her favourite chocolates beside it. Things she had mentioned in passing, probably after a hook-up. Maybe during a romantic comedy that they would often watch together. Where she’d point out the little things men can do that show a deeper appreciation. 

They had cracked open a bottle of wine, and talked for hours under the stars and above the rushing traffic. And it was like peeling back a layer, revealing this steadfast and romantic man. The one who had refiled her glass more than once. Used his hand to cover sharp edges when she leaned around after a few too many drinks. Who had carried her to bed, gently unclasping her stiletto heels and massaging the tired soles of her feet. Who had carefully removed the maxi dress she wore, hanging it up to prevent creases. Then, with permission, undressed her further. 

That night hadn't been like before. Aelin wasn't sure she had ever felt that way. Not a blinding, stretching heat or an all-consuming pressure. No, rather a connection. When Rowan had caressed her like a piece of art, she felt revered. Holy. Her skin had tingled with the unfamiliar feeling of adoration. 

Breathless whispers and tight holds had conveyed words that were far too new to speak aloud. 

That night had been the beginning of a long-standing understanding. The two of them weren't open about their connection. Rather, it was a pleasant slice of life, cut out to fit the shape of two lovers who aimed to navigate the crossroads of their future. And for years they existed peacefully in the space they had made for each other. 

Until they couldn't anymore. 

The door creaked open, its hinges never oiled. Lysandra was allergic to a chemical in WD-40. 

A whoosh of breath came from the entrance, and Aelin’s spine felt the all too familiar tingle of the presence of the man she had loved. 

“Aelin,” came the voice, like gravel smoothed by arctic winds. There always existed some sort of unrest under Rowan’s skin. It could be heard in his voice, worn from use. Had she still been his, she would have made him a cup of tea. Extra honey. As he liked. 

Humming out a noise of acknowledgement, Aelin turned slightly. Cheeks starting to heat. “Hello, Rowan.” She said, breathlessly. 

She watched his throat work. He had gotten leaner since she last saw him. His eyes less bright. Cheeks sunken. His unachievable tan had faded. 

He was still the beautiful boy–man, she had always known. Pleasure and pain united, each moment in his presence stole some of her oxygen. She loved him. Loved. 

A shrill squeak this time, and a crafty brunette head popped into the doorway. “Ah! Okay! Guess, how many candies are in this jar!” Lysandra asked the both of them. Their moment shattering and instead opening up to accept another's presence. Lysandra was holding a large mason jar filled with red and white peppermint swirl candies. 

“Uh,” Rowan scratched the back of his neck. “Two hundred?” Lysandra just snorted and then turned to Aelin. 

Aelin studied the jar, fighting to not break out into goosebumps with the feeling of Rowan’s eyes on her. “One hundred…and… forty-three–no! Twenty!”

“Final answer?” Lysandra taunted. 

“Yes.”

“Wrong.” She cackled. Turning away and hightailing it down the hall, laughing like she was possessed. “Come downstairs, you losers!”

Hour Two

Aelin had left with no word to Rowan. She couldn't bear it. The wound still so fresh. Instead, she had sauntered by and shut the door gently on her way out. Missing the pleading look in his eyes as she walked away. 

“Ae!” Elide shouted at her approach. Aelin couldn't help but smile. As awful as the next eleven hours may be, Aelin was grateful she had her best friends by her side. Lysandra's still on thin ice. 

“El! Look at you!” Aelin grabbed a hold of her friend's hand, letting her do a little twirl. The sequined skirt she had on fanned out around her. Reflecting the lights in the room across the walls. “You like our own little mirrorball.”

Elide just let out a soft laugh. Grinning. “Gotta get the party started somehow.” She said. Stepping back she put her arms on Aelin's elbow, holding tight. She made a show of looking around the room, and upon it being clear, Elide looked her right in the eyes. “I'm sorry.” 

“For what,” Aelin asked, perplexed. 

She gave her a pointed look. “I tried to explain to Lys that she wasn't being fair. It's not fair. I offered to get a hotel room for me and Lorcan, but you know how Aedion is about traditions.” She rolled her eyes. “I realize that this isn't… you know. This was not on the healing plan–”

“Maybe, El, just being with my best friends could be healing. Maybe we switch the healing plan around for a little.” She said softly, speaking from a place of honesty. 

Elide’s eyes were misty, and Aelin had to look away. This was a hurt that was deeper than her. 

She took a breath, “Okay. But–no I'm serious. Don't look away. If you need anything, anything at all, I'm here. And we can have a little girl meeting with Lys after we put the boys to bed.” She gave a choked laugh. 

Aelin nodded. An understanding passing through them both. Everyone knew that tension would be high this evening. Aelin herself knew it would be brutal. Facing her ex at Lys’ annual Yulemas Eve Dinner, a tradition shrouded in love and comfort. But she was eternally grateful for Elide – and Lysandra, but maybe not currently. How she found such caring women would never fail to surprise her. 

Elide nodded back, smile and eyes watery. They both let out laughs. This solidarity was something Aelin needed more than she knew. 

“Okay, no more tears.” Aelin sniffed, disconnecting their hand-elbow position to wipe at her waterline. Elide laughed and did the same; laughing at the growing pains. Embracing and squeezing love into each other. 

Hour Three

They had all moved to the living room. It was three o'clock, and the festivities would run until midnight. 

This tradition of theirs started years ago, when Lysandra had been given this apartment by her uncle, conveniently on Yulemas Eve. As a group of broke college students, they had gotten together at noon at Lys’ new abode, flocking towards the offer of free food and drinks. But, they had spent the next twelve hours renovating, each of them finding different tasks every hour to keep the boredom away. At midnight, the promised food had been delivered and all of them had pigged out and slept on the worn carpet of the living room, full of holiday spirit. 

That tradition continued on, and it proved to be extremely helpful in the days when family ties were harder to save than simply forget. When the lonesomeness of the holidays overtook the youths, twelve hours at Lysandra and Aedion's home would never fail to rekindle that merriment. 

And so, for the past decade, everyone would arrive at noon, and each hour would be filled with something new; usually holiday-themed, but it was truly left to Aelin’s best friend’s imagination. 

So at hour three, the group found themselves in the living room, sipping on sparkling wine and snacking on appetizers. This would – apparently – be the hour of catching up. 

“... And so I told him, if he wanted a maid he could hire one. I mean, the man is rolling in money. What fucking scumbag hires someone, and then lets them play servant for the rest of the office, and then drops all his work on them? I mean, truly.” Elide was saying. Aelin was nodding along, enjoying the fresh gossip about her best friend's workplace. “But then he got all on his high horse, all you can't talk to me like that and I'm your superior, you know. Stupid bullshit.”

“So what did you do?” Lysandra asked, thoroughly enthralled by the story. Lorcan let out a hearty chuckle, his arm slung across Elide lovingly. 

“I fucking stole the glass plate from his microwave. Then took all the ink cartridges from his pens. And all the extra toilet paper in his washroom? Not there anymore!” Aelin snorted out her bubbly wine. Lysandra was racked with giggles, and Lorcan was trying not to laugh out loud. Aedion’s cackle joined the fray. And like she always would, Aelin picked up on Rowan's breathy laugh, it ignited flames through her veins. 

“Oh my gods, El. You absolute heathen,” Aedion got out through fits of laughter. Lysandra attempted deep breaths while wiping stray tears from the corners of her eyes. Aelin stared into her drink, suppressing giggles. 

“Well, it's not like he didn't deserve it,” Elide added, smiling smugly. Lorcan just kissed her temple. 

“Certainly not. Where’d you get those ideas though?” Leaning for a piece of cheese, Aelin asked. Grabbing a few pieces and rolling them around in her palm. Lysandra’s giggles were waving in and out, each time Aedion whispered something in her ear, they’d begin again. 

“My gigantic brain.” Elide snorted, pleased at her joke. 

“Nice, El.” Came from Rowan. 

“See, I thought you'd crucify me for that. Mister straight and narrow.” Oh.

Rowan didn't falter, “No, actually, if anything that gives me ideas.” He said. “Sometimes the corporate world can be a little too uptight.” He glanced at Aelin. 

Aedion laughed again. “Rich! That’s rich coming from you.” He taunted.

Rowan leaned into the jest. “Maybe I want to break free.”

“Uptight life not suiting you anymore, Boyo?” Came from Lorcan. 

“Maybe.” Rowan shrugged. “Maybe life is worth a little more than corporate deviances.” He pulled at the seams of his shirt. Fingers twirling the stem of his sparkling wine. 

Aelin didn't think anyone else had noticed the stall in the conversation. The way the bright energy slowed and sputtered. Pausing momentarily and applying enough pressure to Aelin’s soul that she felt winded. But everyone moved on, Rowan included. Laughing and sharing stories as they might. 

The conversation didn't end, and Aelin’s buried sorrow didn't dissipate. But she would keep breathing. Keep moving forward, exchanging banter all in the hopes of drawing out the sound of her heart breaking slowly. 

“By the way, Lys, how many candies were in the jar?”

“None. It was the paper decoration that it came with from the store.”

Hour Four

It was cocktail hour. 

This was Aelin’s favourite tradition. One she actually prepared for. And it consisted of each of them having to make a holiday-themed cocktail, completely customized. There could be no research during the competition – before was a grey area Aelin loved to exploit – and they each had ten minutes. 

The order would follow; Lorcan, Lysandra, Elide, Aedion, Rowan, Aelin. And so, a silver tray had been placed in the middle of the table, and six yellowy drinks in champagne flutes sat. The colour was truly horrifying. 

“So, explain.” Lysadra motioned to start. 

“Right,” Lorcan grabbed a flute, examining it carefully. Like he didn't even know what was in it himself. “So, this…drink–”

“Sound a little more enthusiastic babe, or I'll be really worried about what you made.” Elide interrupted. 

“I'm already worried,” Rowan whispered to Aedion, face set in a perplexed grimace. 

“Hush, you goons.” He waved at the other guys. They broke apart laughing. “In here there is…Gin, uh, some Limoncello and creme de Banane. And I call it the…uh, I don't know. Yellow shot?”

“...of death,” Aelin whispered to Lysandra. Who nodded solemnly. Elide looked disgusted at her fiance’s creation, but schooled it into a look of pride when he turned to her. The moment he looked away, she made a fake gagging motion to Aelin and Lysandra. 

“Sounds wonderful, my dear Lorcan. Now, my great sir, would you please bring me my beverage.” Aedion declared, hands aiming to move in a dignified manner. He looked like he was trying to swat away flies. 

“No.”

“It was worth a shot,” He sighed, reaching for a drink. 

Aelin grabbed a flute, “Limoncello and Gin, what the hell were you aiming for here Lorcan?” She delicately sniffed at the drink. Oh god.

Plopping himself nearly onto Elide, who let out a squeak, he just shrugged. Grabbing his flute, he threw it back in one fluid motion. Everyone paused, waiting for the reaction. He swallowed, looked around, and then quickly turned away to gag and cough. 

Laughter erupted. 

Once everyone had a glass, clinking them together in cheers, and shot it down like Lorcan. He watched from on the couch, eyes a little watery. There was a pause as everyone swished the drink around in their mouth, tasting the flavour. 

It was fucking godsawful. Aelin had never tasted anything so evil. The hint of banana flavour nearly had her spitting the drink back into the glass, and the way the Gin nearly curdled it was almost worse. Taking a deep breath through her nose, she tried to swallow. Forcing the atrocity that was Lorcan’s drink down. Catching Elide’s eye, as the woman got up and ran for the washroom. Lysandra was the only one who seemed unbothered. 

“Fuck!” Aedion shouted when he could speak again. “Holy gods man, I have never put anything worse into my mouth. Ever.” 

“And that's saying somethin',” Rowan choked out. Also beyond bothered by Lorcan’s monstrosity. 

“You evil, evil man,” Aelin added. A shudder racking her body.

-

The cocktail hour carried on. Lysandra had made a mojito with cinnamon rather than mint, and it was not nearly as bad as Lorcan’s. Elide had done a ‘Sunrise Suprise’, which was simply tequila and orange juice. The ability to make a good cocktail skipped both Elide and Lorcan. Aedion had wanted to send everyone to their death, combining four different whiskeys and a melted spoonful of ice cream. It hadn't been as bad as expected, but there were much better choices out there. Rowan had mixed pickle juice and vodka, to create a dill martini. Interestingly enough, that had been the most palatable drink of the night. 

When Aelin’s turn came around, she began to pull out the individual ingredients. Lining them up in the order in which she would mix. Her focus on the drinks made her unaware that another body was present in the kitchen. Until they spoke up. 

“You look well,” Rowan said from the opposite end of the room, his body leaning up against the cabinets. Jumping at the sudden sound of his voice, her head snapped up. There he was, cataloguing her every move, a familiar feeling; his eyes on her. 

Startled, she stared at him. And kept staring at him, not realizing she had been ogling him for a few moments. She took in the lines of his body, the way his dress pants hugged his legs. The black leather belt, cinching in his waist. The sweater – cashmere, most likely – was elegantly draped over his upper body. The hard planes of his stomach were slightly in sight as the soft material moulded to his form. Everything about Rowan meant something. And looking at him only brought back bitter-sweet memories. Her gaze snapped away when he gave a light noise of acknowledgement. 

Blushing and caught, Aelin turned back to the drinks, cracking open the bottle of vodka she had slipped mint candies in a few weeks ago. She planned to let the flavours permeate the liquor and add a nice flair to her drinks. She felt Rowan’s inquisitive eyes on her every move. 

“Thank you, Rowan.” Acknowledging him, she hoped he would just walk away. She wasn't strong enough to just stand here and allow him to be there. To feel the gaping divide between their beings. 

Silence. 

“I– Look, I need to talk to you Aelin,” He approached from the other side of the room, slipping around the counter where she was. “I know it’s not the best–”

“Rowan.” A firm command, all blushed drained. She could be strong. She could. She was back to looking at him again. Green eyes, full lips, strong jaw. The silver strands that ghosted his brow. Gods she hated how looking at him hurt her so deeply. His smile, and laughter, earlier had been the knife to the gut. His presence here now? A twisting. 

“No, Aelin. I'm serious.”

“I am too.” 

��Wait.” He breathed. Gentler this time. His hand stretched out, muscle memory. She knew it would land at the curve of her waist, how the weight of it would ground her. The warmth would slip under the fabric of her dress, warming her bones. 

He retracted it before it got close enough, burning the neuron pathway that made the movement instinctual. 

She steadied herself, leaning towards him slightly, but not enough to communicate any more interest in where this was going. “Not now, Rowan. Not now. You had your chance, let me be.” 

“What chance? The fucking run-in at a cafe? That was not a ‘chance’ Aelin.” He snapped. Letting his frustration run into his tone. She hated him when he was like this. Not frustrated, no she understood that. But…seeking. She knew what he wanted, and she knew it would break her down quicker than she could turn away. Her sanity rested on the finalization of this conversation. 

Smiling politely, in a way she knew brought more frustration, she turned away and began preparing the drink. 

“Not now,” She whispered. More to herself, a silent prayer of resistance. She heard more than saw Rowan turn to walk away, over the entire conversation entirely. He missed the tear that raced down her cheek, or the hitch in her breath when the door swung close. 

-

“Peppermint Cocktails!” Aelin announced, waltzing into the room with her usual charm, all emotions wiped. She avoided Rowan’s look like the plague. Offering a drink to each friend, she was pleased to hear that her concoction was the best of the night – an unsurprising win – and the group sat around talking still. The light buzz from all the alcohol had Aelin feeling looser. The unease from moments ago slipped away like sand between her fingers. 

“I saw Rowan walk into the kitchen,” Elide whispered into her ear. Everyone else had been looking at a picture on Lorcan's phone. 

“Mhm.” 

“Want to talk about it?” 

“No.”

Hour Five

Rowan likes the cold. 

He liked it in a way many others didn't. He liked the way it nipped at his body slowly in the beginning, a feeling that was urgently chased away by shivers. He liked it when it froze deeper. When it slowly crawled into the heat of his body, dousing it and cutting off feeling. He liked the stiffness. The slowed movement as the cold reached his core, seizing feeling. It isolated him in a way many things did not. 

Sitting on the front porch of Lysandra’s apartment, he embraced the cold. 

Everyone had just finished up with a game of cards, and Aedion had rushed out, forgetting some ingredients for dinner. He had excused himself, just need a moment, and walked all of three steps before stopping. Allowing his body to freeze, his cashmere sweater not saving much heat. 

As he lost feeling of some body parts, he embraced the thoughts rushing through his mind, all seemingly racing in circles around the fiery blonde. The one whose embers never burnt out, but now seemed to be slowly dying. The consistent crackle and warmth of her presence, all leaking away in a manner he knew he was responsible for. 

The cold he had embraced wholeheartedly was killing his fireheart. 

His thoughts spun like the twirling snowflakes as they fell to the ground. Circling gently, melting away. But all things seemed to lead him back to his bedroom. To the moment this morning, before he had slipped away into the cab to make it here tonight. His thoughts brought him to the second drawer in his nightstand, underneath a notepad and tissues. In an embroidered box, sat a diamond ring, inlaid into a gold band that had sweeping leaf designs along its curves. Two emeralds set into the inside, to rub against one's finger. 

All thoughts seemed to lead him back to Aelin

Hour Six, Hour Seven, Hour Eight

“Can you pass me the salt?” Lysandra called from Aelin's right. She was before the stove, stirring the gravy and watching the vegetables as they cooked in the pan. 

Handing her the salt, Aelin brushed by her to grab some butter from the fridge. Needing it for the bread that would be coming out of the oven soon, steaming hot. 

They worked in a comfortable silence, only waiting for Aedion to return with some forgotten ingredients. Lorcan, Elide, and Rowan were all in the living room, having not been drawn for cooking duty this year. A method that was quickly taken up once the group realized six people in the kitchen was less of a pleasant experience. Top many bossy chefs. 

Post-cocktail hour, tipsy cards had commenced. And the many, many, shots of straight liquor had reached Aelin by that time. She was feeling much better, her heart no longer aching and screaming at her mind to just look at the man across from her. Rather, she had enthusiastically played cards. Letting the feeling of her family around her and the laughter that kept escaping cocoon her. Unfortunately, that joy had meant that Lorcan had swept everyone off their asses, wiping the board clean and winning the one hundred and twenty dollars put into the pot. That had sobered her up pretty quickly, arguing that he had cheated. He had just smirked. 

Then when Aedion rushed out, Aelin caught sight of Rowan walking out the front door too. She had been standing at the other end of the hallway, out of his view. She had watched his expression fall as soon as he crossed the threshold. It was like night and day, the crinkle around his eyes and the brightness of his smile, wiped away. He just stepped out, closing the door softly behind him. 

She had waited a moment, arguing mentally if she should go after him, until Lysandra had called, telling Aelin she needed her help. 

She wasn't ready to face him alone.

“Aelin,” A soft hand was at Aelin's wrist, pausing her chopping of vegetables. She glanced up, shocked out of her reverie. Lysandra was staring at her, looking deeply into her, her brows pulled together in confusion. She must've been calling me for a minute. When it seemed Lysandra had the other woman’s attention, she added softly, “I couldn't not invite one of you.” 

Dropping the knife, “Lys.” Aelin pleaded, not wanting to have this conversation. It felt like the entire night had been her running in circles around her and Rowan. Her and Rowan. Rowan and I. “Seriously, I can't do more of this.” 

Lysandra paid no mind to Aelin’s plea, pushing forward. “Listen. I love you deeply, very very deeply. Sometimes I wonder why,” at that, Aelin cracked a mirthful smile. “But I see the way you two look at each other. And while I know it's not my business, I think this is something you two seriously need to talk out.” She said solemnly. 

This was the point she'd been dancing around for such a long time. 

Pushing the cutting board away from her, Aelin slumped into her arms, leaning against the counter. 

“Did I make a mistake? Breaking up with him?” Like a breath after being underwater, Aelin let it out, asking the question that had rattled in the back of her mind for months. Breathing in a little deeper when some new space opened up because of it. 

“I have my own opinions, but whether or not you made a mistake is up to you.” Lysandra was soothingly rubbing her back. 

“Some days it feels like the biggest fucking mistake I've ever made, Lys. Some days it hurts so much I can't even get out of bed.” 

She hummed, letting Aelin speak. 

“I just– it felt right at the time. But it doesn't feel right now. How is that fair? How could I have made a decision like that? What would have happened if I stayed?”

“You wouldn't have done well, Ae. We all saw what was happening.”

“But you can't know that.” She whispered out. 

“I can, and I did. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is let go. And that's what you did, my love. Maybe something could have gotten better, but maybe not.” Lysandra took a deep breath. “I'm proud of you regardless, that's not an easy choice to make.”

“And it clearly wasn't the fucking right one.” 

Lysandra's hand stopped, she grabbed onto Aelin's shoulder, squeezing firmly. 

“You can say that all you want, Aelin, but ultimately it was the right choice for you at the time. You blossomed. But now? Maybe it's different. And maybe every time I see you two lovesick fools in the same room, I am simultaneously sick and overjoyed. I see his face when he looks at you Ae, like you hung the stars.”

“What's this? Therapy hour?” A loud voice broke apart their moment, jerking both women out of their moment. It was Aedion with the groceries. He was smiling widely, but it fell when he took in the expression of the other women. “Oh. Shit, sorry.”

Aelin just groaned. “And look at me now, ruining the festivities.” Watching Aedion's smile drop was just a reminder of the emotional burden she forgot to check at the door. Bringing that cloud of gloom inside. It was not fair to everyone else, they didn't deserve to bear witness to the sorrow leaking from her. 

“You're not ruining anything, Aelin. Aedion, stop being an idiot.” Lysandra amended. 

Aedion, clearly understanding the situation now, came over to drop the groceries on the counter and pull his cousin into a tight hug. “Lys is right. You have nothing to be sorry for. We all love you lots and want to see you happy, and if drinking shitty cocktails and spilling your gossip helps you feel better, I'll gladly do it alongside you.” He kissed her temple. 

Aelin wanted to break down. This was not how she expected to spend this evening. Granted, she has predicted being in the same vicinity as Rowan would test her. Bring those choked feelings up to the surface. It would hurt just as it had when they split, as there was truly no way to prepare for seeing him again after months of no contact. Months of isolation and heartache. Months without the half that made her whole. 

“Lys, baby, is the gravy supposed to bubble like that?”

“Shit!” Exclaiming, Lysandra rushed away from Aelin's side to check on her portion of dinner. Leaving Aelin, still bent over the counter, staring at the herbs she’d have to chop to sprinkle over the potatoes. 

She felt a gentle shoulder push against her side, and then her cousin was beside her, close enough she could feel the warmth radiating off his huge form. “Your parents would be so proud of you, Ae. No matter what. And I think you should do what you feel is best. Even if that's walking away. I love you, we love you.” Mumbling into her ears, lower than anyone else could hear. Aelin nodded, brushing the moisture away from her face. 

“I love you too, Aedion.”

-

“Cheers to this year!”

Glasses chimed as they clinked together, bubbly wine spilling over, onto the feast laid up on the table. Decadent smells wafted up, making Aelin's stomach rumble. She was ready to dig into the spread, and let the food smother the churning anxiety in her stomach. 

She was seated next to Elide, and Aedion on her other side. Everyone else was spread around the round table – Lysandra hated the idea of a square table. Not wanting any fighting over the head of it. 

Aelin had spoken to Lysandra and Aedion for a few minutes more, opening up a little about how she had been feeling. It took some pushing, given her displeasure at possibly ruining everyone's evening with her issues, but the couple had assured her that it wasn't possible. Highly doubtful of that. But it had been…cathartic, to really speak about how she had felt. How she was dealing with her wounded heart. It meant more than Aelin would realize at the moment, for the two of them to give her a little perspective. 

Then, once the timer for the roast had gone off, and the main part of dinner had been pulled out of the oven, it was dressed up in the herbs Aelin had finally finished chopping – after getting a few more hugs in from both Lys and Aedion. Lys and her had started dishing up the plates and Aedion set off to cut some of the roast. Lorcan and Rowan had joined to set the table. And Elide had popped some bottles of prosecco, pouring glasses for everyone. 

Seated now, in front of a plate of aromatic food, a balm for the soul, she felt the urge to voice her appreciation. “So,” she started, drawing attention from everyone, especially Rowan. “I- I wanted to say thank you. To all of you. I think… that because of the lives we live today, I really don't have the opportunity to look at all of you and say that. To be able to sit around with each of you means more than anything, and I can't imagine being anywhere else right now. It wouldn't feel right.” 

“Cheers to that,” Lorcan added, a slight smile aimed in Aelin’s direction. If that wasn't the definition of a Yulemas miracle, she didn't know what else could be.

Glancing around the table, the circle of the most important people in her life, her eyes stalled upon Rowan. She meant what she said, meant every piece of it. She loved all of them. Grumpy Lorcan, meddling Lysandra. But gods, she loved Rowan, and she lied to herself every day when he was no longer a warm presence next to her. His side of the bed uncharacteristically cold. The feeling of it cooling her. 

She hadn't noticed the change in the environment, her focus being locked on Rowan. Their eyes connected, as if reading each other's minds. A choked wheezing noise almost drew her away, but she couldn't. Not when she was swimming in him, not when–

SLAM

“Elide!” A shrill scream. Ripping Aelin away, she was met with a panicked Lysandra, and a horrified Lorcan. 

Elide was facedown on the table, and amid chaos, Aelin noticed her chest was not rising and falling as it should. Shouts ensued, voices yelling about get her up and call an ambulance. What had happened in the seconds Aelin wasn't present. How could this have happened that quickly? What was happening! 

“She can't breathe!”

“Start CPR. Now!”

“Has someone called an ambulance?” 

What is going on!

Lorcan had gently laid Elide on the floor. He had his finger down her throat. His face was panicked, but he was hiding it well, focusing on Elide. Chairs were shoved back, and Lysandra was rushing away, Aedion was on the phone, Rowan was getting on his knees by Elide. They were saying something to each other. Rowan pushed Lorcan away. Lorcan fought back before he realized what was happening. Rowan placed his hands by Elide’s middle, his fingers laced together. She looked so frail there, on the floor. 

Rowan started pushing down, one two three four. One two three four. Onetwothreefouronetwothreefour– What is happening!

Aelin was frozen. Frozen in fear, in disbelief, in shock. How. That's all that was going through her mind. How. It had been going so well, how could one moment lead to this? To Elide, down on the floor, not breathing as her fiance shouted panic commands at Rowan. Equally freaked out. To Aedion, shouting instructions from paramedics. Two minutes away! To Lysandra, distraught, not knowing what to do. To Aelin, standing as her best friend couldn't breathe. 

Lorcan leaned down, his ear by Elide's mouth. His hand on her neck, searching. Rowan paused, breathing heavily. 

Aelin thought she knew what it was to feel her heartbreak, to feel it shatter. But she had never felt it as it fell. Dropped straight out of her chest when Lorcan looked up, eyes wide as saucers, pupils fully dilated. As he looked at Rowan and a lone tear slipped from his eye, dropping down, down, down. Down to where Elide was not breathing. 

Hour …

Seated in the emergency ward of the local hospital, Aelin listened to a dull Lorcan list off what had happened. She had choked. She had something lodged in her throat for so long that she passed out. It got lodged deeper. She has two broken ribs. It's not your fault Rowan. You saved her life. She had an endoscopic surgery. To remove the food. She’ll need to stay for the night. Observation. 

Struck by disbelief, Aelin couldn't do anything more than trace the lines on the floor. Her hands shook, a later symptom of the shock that had paralyzed Aelin in the moment of action. As Elide was carried out to the ambulance –still not breathing – she had only stood there. Rooted to place. Snapping out of it only when Rowan said he was going to follow them to the hospital. Aelin hadn't even said anything, snapping out of her state and running to the door to grab her boots and jump into whatever car Rowan would be taking. 

Only she and Rowan were at the hospital, alongside Lorcan. Aedion had made the executive decision for Lys and him to stay back. Lys had been hysterical, shouting, but shaking just as Aelin was now. She hadn't thought of them once, only what might happen to Elide. To her lovely Elide. 

“But she’ll be okay?” Rowan whispered. Agony weaved into his question. He felt guilty, this Aelin knew. Even if he had saved a life, he felt guilty he had hurt someone. She could scream. 

Aelin didn't hear an answer, assuming that Lorcan had nodded when Rowan let out a great sigh. Cut short by the sob that burst out. Lorcan was there in an instant, wrapping his brother up in a tight hug. She palmed her thighs, squeezing so tightly. 

Eventually, Lorcan released Rowan. The both of them were slightly breathless. Eyes red and sad. Lorcan said he was going to check on Elide, and Rowan sat down next to her. For a few quiet moments, no words were exchanged. A too-real grief hung heavy in the air. They almost lost someone, and now here they were, waiting for Elide to be here again. Because she almost wasn't. She was so close to not being here anymore. 

Standing up abruptly, “I- I have to go.” Aelin walked off, not waiting for an answer from Rowan. She was walking quickly through the halls, adrenaline coursing through her so quickly she could barely breathe. And then her breath was coming too quickly. And then she was running, running for the exit. And in her haste, she didn't hear the other feet running after her. 

All she could hear was her breath. Elide’s lack of. 

She slammed through the front doors, flat-out sprinting now. She had no idea where to go, and it was snowing hard. The wind whipped at her dress-clad form – she hadn't grabbed her jacket. But she kept running. Tripping up on ice, pelted by the rising blizzard. She had no idea where she was, but the blood rushing in her ears, and her hyperventilating had her in a dizzying state. 

“AELIN!” A voice roared. She couldn't tell where the sound was coming from, completely surrounded by falling snow, as it blocked out the light. Spinning wildly, she could feel the tears as they rushed down her face, freezing on her cheeks. 

She was panting, barely in control, when Rowan came from her side, nearly slamming into her and knocking them both over. He was breathing heavily too. His hair was out of place and his eyes were wild. 

“What were you thinking!” He yelled, grabbing onto her. “You can't fucking run like that! Aelin! What the fuck!” His tone kept increasing. His chest rose and fell rapidly. Unlike Elide. No movement, no breaths. No breaths, no breath, not breathi- 

“Aelin! AELIN! Look at me!” 

Her eyes were wild, nails pressing into Rowan’s biceps as she held onto him for dear life. Where was she, where was she, wherewasshe…

A chilled hand grabbed her chin, pulling her – not roughly – to look into Rowan’s frantic gaze. Her breathing wasn't slowing, and Rowan’s gaze was unbreakable. He was whispering something, his lips moving. Aelin watched as they moved, shifting up, down. The corners of his mouth pinching. Another hand came up, and her face was now being cradled between Rowan’s large hands. And she saw his lips still moving, and then the crease in his brow, the worry dancing in his eyes. And then she was pressed against his warm chest. 

Her head was against his heart. The thump-thump a grounding. She felt her breathing start to ease, felt arms tighten around her. Felt as she leaned further into Rowan. The tears falling faster now, but her breaths slowing enough that her brain could finally catch up. To where she was. Where she was, here in Rowan’s arms. In Rowan’s ar–

“No!’ She shouted shoving away from him, breaking the cage that was his grasp. “No! No, no, no!” 

Rowan just let his arms drop, hanging by his sides. His expression was one of worry, and confusion. Frustration and dismay. “What?” He said. His voice carried through the snowstorm. 

“Dont– Dont do that!” Aelin sobbed out, hands going to her hair. Pulling at the roots and turning around aimlessly. 

“Do what.” His hands clenched. His worry wiped away, a vexed expression appearing instead. 

“Do that! Care for me! Stop!” She kept shouting, the snow thoroughly soaking her now. The chill seeping into her bones.

“Care for you? What?” He shouted back. “What the fuck do you mean Aelin!”

“I mean, don't come r-rushing after me! Don't fucking p-pretend you care!” 

“Pretend I care?!” He took a step forward, she took one back. An undecipherable look crossed his face, before it was set back into a frown. His shoulders lined with tension, and fists opening and closing around nothing. “Aelin, what do you mean?”

“You don't care. S-so don't c-come running after m-me like you do!” The chills were shaking her body now, and she wrapped her arms around herself as tightly as possible, trying to keep in body heat. The storm was getting worse. Rowan’s image was getting blurrier, maybe it was her tears, still flowing freely. Along with her nose. 

“What… Aelin– I,” His hand went to his hair, raking through the soaked strands before pulling. “I chased after you because you fucking ran away hyperventilating! Out of a hospital! Into a fucking blizzard! What do you think I’d do? Sit there like an idiot and let you freeze to death or get hit by a car?!” 

“It doesn-”

“Yes it does! Yes, it fucking does!”

“Why!” She screamed, shaking and watching as Rowan stepped forward. This time she didn't step back. 

“Aelin.” He said, this time it was more of a command, a telling. “Are you asking me why I’d come for you?”

She considered it for a second, then nodded. 

A moment passed before Rowan's face morphed into one of genuine pain. 

“Because I would always fucking follow you! And I would always make sure you are okay, no matter what.” He snapped. “And I'm sorry I can't turn my feelings off as easily as you, but watching you walk away, no matter what, it fucking kills me!” 

There was a pause as the words sunk in, as Rowan’s chest rose and fell with laboured breaths, as his eyes traced her face for any hint – of anything. 

“You what?” Aelin squeaked out. Not knowing if the question was swallowed up by the storm until Rowan took a tentative step forward. Then another, then they were just a few breaths apart. 

“I would always follow you, Aelin,” He whispered, face drawn in sorrow. Her cheeks hurt from the frozen tears, but they warmed at his confession. “Because… because I still love you. Still so, so much. Ae, it hurts.” 

“What,” She said, more to herself. But Rowan's face crumpled, and she felt the fall directly in her heart. 

“Aelin,” He whispered, reaching for her hand that was tucked under her exposed bicep. Slowly freezing. She let him grab the hand, warming it between his palms, and then pulling her forward to place it on his heart. “I have missed you every day, and I- I couldn't do anything about it, ‘cause I fucked it up in the first place. I made you have to leave. And so I watched you walk away. I let you,” He took a deep breath. “I never wanted that to happen. Ever. But I did, and… gods Aelin, I’ve never regretted something more in my life.”

She just looked up at him. Not really believing the words she was hearing, because how could this be possible? 

“Rowan…” Her lips were turning blue, and she could barely feel her legs. She was going to freeze out here, in the midst of a blizzard, as she heard her ex-boyfriend tell her how he messed up, how he missed her. 

A tear fell on his face, and she watched it trail down. “I love you, Fireheart. I still love you. I am in love with you.” He shook his head, his hair had froze. “I'm sorry.”

“Rowan, I t-thought you wanted m-me gone. I thought it w-wasnt working.” Her teeth were clacking together so hard, she could barely get the words out. That and the weird feeling erupting from inside her. 

“I never wanted you gone, Ae. I was just so… I didn't realize what I had– what we had.” 

“And now y-you do?” She mumbled, her feelings dancing on the edge of a knife. 

His pine-green eyes scanned her face so quickly, moving over every feature. As if he was re-memorizing them all. She watched his throat work.

“Ae… I don’t know how to– I,” He closed his eyes. 

Aelin took in her hand on his chest, the tear tracks along his beautiful face. The soaked sweater. Her frozen body, and she took a chance, stepping forward, pressing up. 

Rowan must have sensed a change, because his eyes snapped open, searching, before finding Aelin closer than she had been in months. 

“Rowan…” She breathed, “I love you so godsdamned much.” She slung her arms around his neck, and pressed a cold kiss onto his stunned lips. He didn't react for a second, and she almost darted away, before she was pulled back. 

Her lips crashed back into Rowan, into a fiery and all-consuming kiss that warmed her from head to toe. Rowan's hands moved all over, making purchase along her frozen body. Never settling, like he didn't realize she was real. 

There, in the middle of a raging blizzard, Aelin got back what she had been searching for. Her other half. The man who was only everything to her, all along, and forever. 

-

Once Rowan had realized that Aelin might actually contract hypothermia, he had rushed her back to the hospital, where she was treated for minor frostbite, and then released soon after. The pair had visited a sleeping Elide and tired Lorcan, before heading back to the house to update Lysandra and Aedion. Once they had gotten past them, Rowan had gone up to their room to run a bath for Aelin. 

Lysandra had told Aelin she could take Lorcan and Elide’s room – given that they wouldn't be home that night – and when she had objected, saying she preferred her room, Aedion and Lysandra had looked at each other questioningly. But they let her go without a fuss, Lysandra already planning to get this information out of the woman. 

Aelin had paid them no heed, moving lethargically upstairs, where she found Rowan sprinkling some of the petals from the rose into the bath. 

She had kissed him, and then gotten distracted kissing him, before timidly inviting him into the bath as well. He agreed, and the two of them spent a gentle moment together, not initiating anything further, but Aelin sunk into the feeling of Rowan, of having him back in her life, in her heart. 

When they had both pruned up, Rowan hopped out and brought the towels over, drying the both of them off. Running on the dregs of her earlier adrenaline rush, Aelin leaned heavily into Rowan as he got her ready for bed. The soft moment bringing her back to where she felt safe, where she knew she belonged. And when Rowan picked her up bridal style, gently laying her on her side of the bed, tucking her in and then crawling in behind her, she knew she was home. 

“I love you, Rowan.”

“I love you, Aelin.”

Hours Later

That morning, when they went as a group to visit Elide and Lorcan in the hospital, carrying some gingerbread cookies, flowers and a present for Elide, they found the couple asleep together in bed. Lorcan's large body curled protectively around Elide, his great arms placed with a delicateness reserved only for the woman he loved. They had tried to backtrack – let them sleep – only for Elide to snap at them. Telling them to get their asses back in the room because she wants to spend Yulemas morning with her family. 

Aelin could have cried happy tears, and she had. Rushing forward to hug Elide. Careful of her ribs, and the giant man behind her. She had cried into her arms. Mumbling incoherent words into the woman's skin. And soon she was joined by Lysandra, who was equally as teary. Lorcan had mumbled something about wanting to spend the morning with his fiance and had slipped off the bed with a groan, headed elsewhere. His spot was quickly replaced by the two other women. All of them snuggling up together. Rowan had snapped a quick photo. 

Aedion and Rowan pulled up chairs, and Rowan grabbed an extra for Lorcan when he returned. Chattering happily, Elide was in the center of her family. And even if she had been in pain, had almost died, she was forgetting about it instantly with their arrival. And she sat with them for the entire morning, basking in the love so freely available. 

And when it was time for them to leave, she didn't miss the way Rowan folded his arms around Aelin, and the beaming smile she reserved for him. The way their hands snaked together when they thought no one was looking. And the kiss Rowan dropped onto Aelin's brow as they walked off, away. Intertwined again.

Taglist: @backtobl4ck // @goddess-aelin

Thank you for reading!! Happy holidays to you all :))))

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