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#rose is a petty and emotional mess
relaxxattack · 24 days
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people will really write rose as a badass girlboss as if her main character trait isn’t hubris. as if her main story arc wasn’t her fucking things over for everyone time and time again by assuming she was better and wiser. oh you think rose is a girlboss? rose who intentionally allowed herself to be corrupted by morally ambiguous terrors because she thought it might give her a slight mental advantage on the game? rose who willingly went along with the manipulation of a groomer because she thought his idea of putting a tumor into the universe was smart? THAT rose? that rose??? why don’t you ask her where the green sun is. since she’s such a competent and intelligent boss bitch
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tenpintsof-sundrop · 1 month
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Hii !! From the smut prompts (stop rolling your eyes, I know Im predicatable!) could I request "Accidentally Sending Nudes", "Sexting" and... a secret third thing (the choice is yours, go hogwild) for Jason x Fat Fem Reader? I'm leaning more towards sub!reader but shes def a little shit about it :3
Thank you in advance if you write it !! 🌼
See, this is why it pays to send in a request with me, because even if I don't answer it right away, I keep requests in my inbox for months and come back to them later!!! (This is from December 2023)
(Also this request is just plain fun) (because Star knows exactly what buttons to push to get me lmao)
DC Titans Requests - OPEN
How would Jason react to you accidentally sending him a nude?
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(Jason Todd x Fem!Thick!Reader)
Warnings: set specifically in the Titans!verse - set during season 3/mentions of season 3 plot points; spoilers for major plot points of Titans (including character deaths on the show); this is kind of enemies to lovers? (enemies to fwb, I guess); the reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; the reader is described as being fat/plus sized; passing mentions of Gar x reader (I couldn't help myself); dubious consent - because of the nature of the trope, Jason sees the reader naked without her explicit consent, and he decides to keep the picture without her consent - but it does spark a consensual sexual relationship between them; passing mention of using nudes for blackmail (that does not happen); this isn't really proofread; (generally, I consider this post to be a fucking mess because it was written in Tumblr but I was still trying to have fun with it lmao.)
...
Jason is minding his own business when it happens.
(For once in life, he is fully, completely, minding his own business.)
He's back in Gotham and he hasn't seen you in months - and if asked, he would say that he hasn't thought about you. He doesn't have time to think about you because he's been too busy with this therapy bullshit, training, trying to get back his title of Robin. Trying to get back in the cape. (And trying to get back in Bruce's good graces.)
But that's not exactly true. He's thought about you a lot.
(Most of those times have been with his hand around his cock, but again - he won't admit that.)
There is an occasional time that you cross his mind and it's because he's wondering genuinely how you're doing - wondering if you're well, how your training is going, wondering if you're doing okay under the Dickhead's reign. But he can't ever pluck up the courage to text you and simply ask. Because that would be admitting that he cares, and that would make him look like a weak little prick.
And that's why he's so damn surprised when you text him first.
He hasn't heard from you since he left the Tower (well, since he stormed away from Donna's funeral in what you called a 'toddler fit' - something that ended in a rather vicious text argument between the two of you). In fact, the last thing in the text history between the two of you is you calling him a 'giant, petty, whiny baby who can't deal with his own emotions'.
(You had no clue what had happened between him and Rose, so that did inform a lot of your opinion on the matter.) (And that was probably the reason why Rose still had all of her teeth after you had seen her at the funeral.)
But all of that was aside from the point.
The point being - Jason found himself smiling when your contact name popped up on his phone.
He has you in his phone as 'Pretty Girl' - along with a contact picture of you sticking your tongue out at him in response to having his phone shoved in your face with the knowledge that he was taking a picture of you. (That tongue always makes him think certain things, so even though you intended for it to be some rude thing to ruin the picture, it makes it so much better for him.)
(1) new photo
That instantly catches Jason's attention.
Perhaps you were sending him a picture just to flip him off, or sending him a picture of a dumpster to ask him if it reminded him of home - a common joke you used to make when he still lived at the Tower.
Jason grabbed his phone and opened the message, expecting another tired joke, and-
Holy fuck.
The last thing he was expecting - your naked body. Your gorgeous naked body.
(He likely would have expected a nuclear blast or for the Joker to clean up his act and actually become a decent, sane citizen before he expected this to happen.)
Jason brought his phone closer to his face, making the picture full screen in order to examine it better - he needed to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating, or that this wasn't some weird dream. But fuck, he definitely wouldn't be able to dream up this.
You were so perfect - so fucking perfect in a way that was so very real.
The picture was a fucking stunning side profile of your body - rolling curves, lacy underwear that could clearly barely contain your impressive hips with sweet little stretch marks jutting out from the fabric (jagged little marks across the softness of your skin that made Jason want to act up) - soft fat for him to grab onto, and the perfect teardrop shape of your breast, now bared to his eye in a way that he had only dreamt of before. Something that he had stared at through the oversized tee shirts you wore to bed without a bra, just wondering what you looked like underneath.
And fuck, this was so much better than anything he could have dreamt up.
Jason's cock began to harden almost instantly, and laying in bed, he reached over to his nightstand for some lube, ready to milk that picture for all it was worth, when-
His phone buzzed again.
Pretty Girl: 'Delete that.'
Jason hadn't even considered that you had sent it to him by mistake. He had been far too busy enjoying to even consider the intention or the psychology behind it.
So, he took his hand off the waistband of his sweats and texted back the first thing that came to mind.
'No.'
(He didn't hear your annoyed growl on the other end, frustrated at his downright typical Jason behaviour.)
'It's not my fault you made a dumbass mistake. Besides, it's the least I get after all the nagging from you.'
Then, something else came to mind as the bubbles popped up, meaning you were busy formulating a reply - an annoyed one, no doubt.
'Who did you mean to send it to anyway? Who are you fucking whose name starts with J that's not me?'
(You hesitated.)
Pretty Girl: 'I didn't type in J.'
'???'
Pretty Girl: 'I typed in G. And it turns out the first contact that popped up was Giant Baby. That's you.'
Jason felt annoyed and insulted on all levels. The fact that you were going to Tiger Boy for dick instead of him, and the fact that you had used such a mocking contact name for him. But when he realised that such a pathetic string of events had caused him to accidentally see you naked, he couldn't be too upset.
'I'm still keeping the picture 😈'
Pretty Girl: 'You're such an asshole' Pretty Girl: ... Pretty Girl: 'You owe me one'
'Fine, I'll owe you one'
Jason shrugged it off, thinking he had won, until -
Pretty Girl: 'No, you owe me a cock.'
This made Jason's stomach jump. You couldn't possibly mean-?
Pretty Girl: ... Pretty Girl: 'You owe me a picture of your dick. You know - an eye for an eye type stuff.'
Jason wanted to ask questions - what did you plan to do with the picture? Should he shave his balls first? Did you want more than one?
But his cock got even harder at you asking for a picture, at you demanding to see his cock, and he couldn't properly think - he couldn't even reason that you might later blackmail him with the picture.
No, instead, he found himself ripping down his pants and turning on the bedside lamp for good lighting, pumping himself up to peak rigid hardness and grasping the base of his cock in hand. And then, without hesitation, he snapped a picture for you. He made sure to get his abs in the photo - a collection of his best assets, with his pants pulled down to mid-thigh, showing off his tight stomach, the deep V leading down to his dick, and his thick seven inch cock in hand surrounded by some well-kept dark pubic hair.
(He was proud of it - and that ego was one of the things that annoyed you most about him.)
He sent it without hesitation and then you began typing several times and stopped once again. Jason's stomach churned with nerves until -
Pretty Girl: 'Fuck you' Pretty Girl: 'I thought it would be smaller'
Jason had no clue how to respond to that, and he was busy racking his brain for some clever reply, when -
Oh. Oh fuck.
(1) new photo
You had sent him another picture. And this time it was definitely on purpose.
It was a view between the plump, beautiful thickness of your thighs - your hand was inside the pretty lace of those panties, and your fingers were visible working on your clit while your needy hole dripped wetness onto the fabric.
So you had liked what you had seen.
Pretty Girl: 'What would you do if you were here right now?'
Jason's brain short-circuited then. He thought of so many things - eating your pussy until you screamed, flipping you onto your stomach and fucking you until you begged him to stop, gripping onto those gorgeous thighs, pinning them to your chest and pounding into your cunt until you finally surrendered and said that you had liked him all along, fucking your smart little mouth to finally shut you up-
Pretty Girl: 'Come on, Jay. Don't disappoint me.'
Oh, he won't.
(Another thing Jason won't admit - he came back to the Tower just for you.)
...
DC Titans Masterlist
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rfxiii · 5 months
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could I request hcs for franklin, trevor, and michael on how they would go about apologizing or making it up to you after they did something wrong (I feel like I'm not making sense lol 😆 but basically I'm asking how would they get back on your good side after messing up big time) if requests are close, I apologize!!
(This totally makes sense, no worries! And my requests are always open, so feel free to send an ask whenever you’d like- I’m just a little slow atm. Also, I’m sorry about the long wait, and I hope you like it ☺️)
Franklin, Trevor, and Michael making up with you after an argument:
Franklin Clinton:
Arguments with Franklin are fairly rare. He’s a pretty level headed, loyal partner. But, like every relationship, arguments do happen.
Despite being kind, loyal, and loving, Franklin is also stubborn. It can be the cause of several of your arguments. And can also lead to him refusing to admit he’s wrong right away.
But once he does realize he’s been wrong, and understands that he’s upset you, he’ll go to the ends of the earth to make it up to you.
He’ll come to you like a sad puppy- curling up beside and gently taking your hands in his. He’s had time to think about what went wrong, and what was done to start the argument to begin with. He wants to talk it over, wants to get to the root of the problem to make sure it never happens again. He’ll stay up all night talking with you, and apologizing, until he’s sure everything is resolved and that you’ve forgiven him.
He may buy you something small and sweet the day after the fight. A teddy bear or a bouquet of roses aren’t uncommon after the two of you have had a disagreement. And for a few days afterwards, he treats you especially gently. He hates hurting your feelings or making you mad. So, he wants to prove just how much he does love you. Even if you two do argue.
Trevor Philips:
Arguments with Trevor are fairly commonplace. He’s set in his insane ways, and always self assured that he’s right. He’s more apt to listen to reason when it comes to you. But his erratic, wild behavior, and bad, dangerous habits are normally the root of arguments between you two.
There are several ways things can go after you two argue. But more often than not, it’s a couple days of passive aggressive comments and the silent treatment, until he’s convinced that this is the fight that’s going to split you guys apart. And then comes the waterworks.
He comes, literally, crawling back to you on his hands and knees, sobbing and snot nosed as he begs you not to leave him. He’s usually fairly high when he breaks down like this, so talking to him is slightly difficult. But he babbles at you non stop- telling you how much he loves you, how sorry he is, how he’s “such a worthless shit”.
The true talking it out usually comes the next morning, or afternoon, depending on how fucked up he got. But after his tears dry up and he’s caught his breath from all the sobbing, his usual method of making up with you is desperate, clingy sex. He doesn’t have a very good grasp on such big emotions, so he shows them physically instead of verbally. And you can feel his love and remorse through every press of his lips and every touch of his rough, scarred hands.
Michael De Santa:
He has issues with loyalty and honesty. You knew that before you got with him. But it doesn’t make the arguments that ensure because of it any easier.
He’s stubborn, self assured, and hot headed. Getting Michael to admit he’s wrong is like pulling teeth. And getting him to apologize is harder than winning a one man war. Once you two start to fight, it can last for days. And because of his petty, passive aggressive attitude, he sometimes tends to make things twice as bad.
It’s almost never that you hear him actually say “I’m sorry”. But eventually, after a few days of fighting, he realizes he’s being a child and understands that he was wrong. Even if he won’t admit it. So, he shows it the best way he knows how. Through gifts.
You’ll come home to find expensive jewelry on your pillow, or a new outfit hung up for you in the closet. He’ll have your favorite dinner made, and he’ll buy the wine he knows you like the best. He won’t apologize to you. But over dinner, he’ll take your hand, tell you how beautiful you look, and say something like “Let’s not fight anymore, angel. You know I hate seeing you upset.”
You know he’s too prideful to apologize. So, usually it’s just easier to cut your losses and accept that, while he’ll never verbally apologize, this is his version of saying “I’m sorry”. You know he truly is apologetic, and you love him, so you both agree to let this go and move on. He’s a good man, he’s just a little emotionally immature at times.
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faintedlcve · 5 months
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False Fronts IV
part 4 of 4
fluff version.
hii omg i finally did this im so happy with this there's an angst version as well bc who doesnt like some good ol' angst from time to time
also the other version was released early bc im stupid so ty to @berryzxx for reminding me (i just want a reason to tag you)
pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader
warnings:fluffff arguments (oohOOHOoH) swearing, not so fake dating (but are they?), the and y/n being idiots, not a happy ending, not proof read (as usual) and my writing
summary: being asked to fake date someone to get a petty ex off their back is the worst possible way of being friend-zoned. you, however, were willing to take any chances to get as close as you could to theodore nott.
angst is hereeee
reblogs with tags are always appreciated mwah
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4: angst
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The tension between you and Theo had been brewing for days, each passing moment adding weight to the unspoken emotions that hung heavily in the air. Unable to bear the silence any longer, you initiated the conversation, the frustration and confusion evident in your voice.
"Theo, can we talk?" you asked, your voice tinged with a mix of apprehension and determination.
He glanced up from his book, an unreadable expression flickering across his face. "Sure, what's up?"
"It's about us," you began cautiously, the words feeling heavier than you'd anticipated. "I feel like there's something here, between us. But I'm confused about where you stand."
Theo's expression flickered, a fleeting mixture of uncertainty and conflict clouding his features. "I don't know if diving into a relationship right now is the best idea."
"But this isn't just about a relationship," you insisted, your voice rising in exasperation. "It's about acknowledging what's been brewing between us, Theo."
He sighed, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "I'm not sure what I want, Y/N. It's complicated."
"Complicated?" You scoffed, the frustration simmering within you. "What's so complicated about being honest?"
"Why can't you understand?" Theo's voice rose, mirroring your frustration. "I don't want to mess things up and end up causing you pain."
"You're not getting it!" Your voice echoed in the charged atmosphere. "I need to know where we stand, and your indecision isn't helping."
Theo's reluctance grated on your nerves, fueling the intensity of the argument. "I need you to be honest with me, Theo. I can't keep waiting for something that might never happen!"
"I know, but I'm conflicted," he admitted, his tone wavering.
Frustration boiled within you. "Conflicted about what? Us?"
His gaze shifted away, a mix of guilt and concern clouding his features. "I... I don't want Jess to hurt you."
"I can handle Jess, she isn't your responsibility," you asserted firmly, the frustration simmering beneath your words.
"You don't get it, do you?" Theo's voice cut through the tension, edged with frustration. "She's MY ex."
His words stung, and the heat of the argument intensified. "And that gives you the right to dictate what's good for me?" you shot back, your voice rising in indignation.
"Look, I'm just trying to protect you," Theo retorted, his tone laced with urgency.
"Protect me? From what?" Your voice rose, the frustration boiling over. "I can handle my own affairs, Theo. I don't need you deciding what's best for me!"
The tension crackled between you, each word spoken a testament to the underlying emotions that had escalated into a heated argument. The clash of opinions and conflicting desires hung heavily in the charged atmosphere, leaving the potential relationship teetering on the edge of uncertainty. The anticipation in the room was suffocating.
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Days stretched into weeks, and the awkward distance between you and Theo became the new norm. Despite the avoidance, every accidental encounter sent a rush of conflicting emotions through you. Butterflies danced in your stomach, a bittersweet reminder of the connection you once shared, now lost in a fog of misunderstanding.
Each time your paths crossed, the unresolved tension simmered beneath the surface. The silent longing for resolution battled with the ache of hurt and confusion, leaving you caught in a turmoil of emotions whenever Theo came into view.
The avoidance hadn't dulled the effect he had on you. His presence was still magnetic, drawing your attention despite the unspoken rift that divided you both. The simple sight of him evoked a rush of emotions, a testament to the bond you once shared and the rift that now tore you apart.
With every passing moment, the yearning for clarity clashed with the fear of confronting the situation, leaving you entangled in a web of unresolved emotions and unspoken apologies, the butterflies a painful yet undeniable reminder of the connection you couldn't seem to sever.
Summoning your courage, you approached Theo's dorm, determined to offer an overdue apology. A hesitant knock resulted in eerie silence. Unsure of Theo's whereabouts, you glanced around the deserted hallway, your resolve mingling with uncertainty.
Taking a tentative step forward, you reached for the doorknob, finding it unlocked. The decision to enter felt both intrusive and necessary. The room was devoid of life, the emptiness echoing the void that had developed between you and Theo.
Your gaze drifted to Theo's desk, where a single piece of paper lay. The handwriting was unmistakable, sending a jolt of emotions through you as you read the words:
Last night was so fun, so glad you dropped Y/N.
- Jess
Disbelief and a pang of deception ricocheted through you. The words were like a gut punch, shattering the fragile hope you had held for reconciliation and understanding. Confusion clouded your thoughts as you grappled with the apparent evidence before you.
Your mind raced, attempting to process the meaning behind Jess's note. It seemed to confirm your worst fears, undermining the fragile trust you had in the situation and leaving your heart aching with the weight of assumed betrayal.
With tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, you turned away, the intention of offering an apology now replaced by a swirl of hurt. The unaddressed misunderstanding had taken root, poisoning the hope for amends and leaving you in a cloud of uncertainty and hurt.
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After catching a glimpse of the note and feeling a surge of mixed emotions, you found yourself actively avoiding Theo. Days turned into a tense cycle of dodging encounters and deflecting questions, leaving Theo increasingly perplexed by your sudden distance.
"Why are you avoiding me?" Theo finally confronted you, his tone a blend of confusion and concern.
Your gaze wavered, torn between the urge to explain and the fear of facing the truth. "I just need some space," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, evading the heart of the matter.
Theo's expression shifted from confusion to hurt, his eyes clouded with the weight of your avoidance. "Did i do something wrong?" he pressed gently, hoping for a glimmer of understanding.
You hesitated, unsure how to voice the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. "I don't know," you muttered, the words falling between you like an insurmountable barrier.
The tension between you was palpable, an unspoken rift widening with every passing moment of silence. The distance between you grew, leaving both of you stranded in a sea of unanswered questions and unspoken feelings.
Theo sensed your unease. "Hey, something's been off. What's going on?" he asked, a tinge of concern in his voice.
"Well..." you hesitated, before showing him the note, unaware that he didn't know about it. "She sent you that note?" Theo's voice edged with surprise and confusion.
"What! No," you replied hastily, caught off guard by his assumption, unaware he didn't have any knowledge of the note's existence.
Theo's eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment. "I'm lost. What's happening?" he asked, completely unaware of the note you were holding, his confusion evident in his expression.
"You're being accused of cheating on me with Jess, but now I think you're being framed," you explained, your voice tinged with concern as you showed him the note.
"What? I would never! You know that!" Theo's words spilled out, shock and disbelief evident in his tone and expression.
His vehement denial resonated with the sincerity you knew so well, and a wave of relief washed over you. You knew him, knew his values, and believed in his loyalty.
"I love you, I'd never do anything to hurt you," he continued, desperation and honesty lacing his words as he took his face in his hands turning it to face him.
His earnest declaration struck a chord within you, dispelling some of the doubts that had clouded your mind. You realized that amidst the chaos and confusion, trusting in your bond with Theo was paramount.
"Yeah, I-I'm sorry." you stammered, your voice filled with a mix of emotions, as you finally let go of the lingering doubts.
Theo's eyes softened with understanding, a gentle smile forming on his lips. Without another word, he closed the distance between you, enveloping you in a reassuring embrace. In that moment, the unspoken affection bloomed, filling the air with an undeniable warmth.
With a rush of emotions, you met halfway, your lips gently pressing against his in a tender and heartfelt kiss.
"I love you too" you whispered as he pulled you in again for a kiss.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。*:☆
hi hello! this is the end of the series. check out the angsty ver here if you'd like! here are a few fics to read while i work on my next one:
masterlist
reader's choice (mattheo x reader)
reader's choice (theodore x reader)
i honestly had so much fun writing this thank you for sticking along with this <33 sorry for how late this is i was like so busy and im also lazy so yea
taglist: @hisparentsgallerryy @jetblackpayne @delulu4marauders @ahead-fullofdreams
if you want to be added to my theodore/any other character's taglist just send me an ask/dm!
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crazycatgirl420 · 8 months
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Gotham's Black Rose
Dpxdc fanfic Sam is Bruce Wayne's daughter, adopted by the Manson family. Everlasting Trio, toddler Ellie. Pharoah Tucker, Witch Sam, Space Ancient Danny. And Cujo too.
Chapter 2: Comfort and Planning
The last thing Sam wanted right now was for cameras to be flashing in her face or for reporters to be shoving mics at her. Shoving past the crowd yelling questions she didn't want to think about right now, Sam made her way towards the street.
It didn't take long for Danny to show up, motorcycle roaring down the street. His ice blue eyes glared at the noisy crowd, and they hesitated long enough for Sam to escape.
She jumped on, wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his shoulder. They pulled away from the event without a single word to her parents - adopted parents apparently- which was for the best. Sam didn't even have words for them anymore.
-
Danny pulled into the Foley driveway with ease. Tucker sat on the patio, laptop open to live broadcast of the Manson's adoption reveal, and Ellie sat in a specially designed play pen with puppy Cujo.
"How's Sam?" Tuck asked, muting the video as Danny walked over.
"Oh you know." Danny said. "She's confused, disappointed, scared."
Turning around, Danny gently shook Sam onto Tucker's open arms.
"What a mess," Tucker sighed. "How do you just forget to mention that?"
"No idea man," Danny said.
The only one of them with a decent childhood was Tucker, and he's got horrible past-life memories of a Pharaoh's life in Egypt to process.
"I'm gonna curse them," Sam said. "They'll never be able to keep a secret ever again,"
"You know that's gonna have more consequences than you want to be responsible for," Tucker said.
"I know," Sam said. "...Pamela will always drop her pearls and Jeremy will never find the right cufflinks Pamela wants him to wear,"
"Petty," Danny said.
Sam nodded against Tucker's shoulder, before lifting her right hand, a twisting purple energy pooling in her palm. With a snap the magic vanished, off to fulfill its purpose on the unspecting Manson couple.
Ellie squealed in the pen, clapping her hands and chanting "magic! Magic!"
"So you've cursed them, what do you want to do now?" Danny asked, sitting on the grass.
Sam sat up, relocating to sitting on the stair and between Tucker's legs. Tucker ran his hands through Sam's hair, enjoying the company of his small family despite the heavy topic at hand.
"I want to know who my biological parents are," Sam said. "I want to know why I was put up for adoption and I want to move to Gotham as soon as possible."
"I can get us transferred to a Gotham high school for our senior year," Tucker said. "We're already accepted to Gotham University,"
"I can have me and Ellie packed by this weekend," Danny said.
"It's the last month of summer vacation so it's going to be a bit of a rushed transfer, I'll follow in my jeep, it's going to take me a minute to pack my office up,"
Sam let the boys plan their move, their voices a comforting background to her swirling emotions.
Ellie would know where she came from, no matter how complicated a story it was. Sam could see it, five years from now, they'd sit her down at the dinner table and explain an evil scientist tried to clone Danny, and instead Danny got an Ellie and she's been their daughter ever since.
Why was family so complicated?
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rataticaisdreaming · 6 months
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day 2 - fusion @intrualityweek
Summary: When Remus and Patton can’t stop fighting, the mind decides to give them a chance to be in each other's shoes.
Pairing: Platonic Intruality (he/him for both)
Word Count: 1397
Warnings: Verbal fights / Hurt/Comfort / Intrusive thoughts / Remus being Remus / Cursing / Mention of sex
“Those are awful things, Remus! You should think of more cheerful… innocent stuff!"
"Oh yeah, because everyone wants to live in Care-A-Lot, daddy-o."
It has been like this for weeks now. Patton getting more and more distressed at Remus’ outbursts, which have been more common ever since the last major issue Thomas faced. Their fights seemed personal and within their own bubble, seeing as they were right next to each other. Janus and Roman had no problem ignoring them, it was so childish and unnecessary that not even Virgil was affected by this. It was getting annoying though. Once everyone left those two to bicker alone, Patton frowned and sank down to his room. The duke was so unsettling! It wasn't so difficult to keep your thoughts to yourself and keep things nice and decent.
Throwing himself to the stuffie filled couch, he reached for an old blanket and his Tender Heart teddy bear. A wave of sadness filled him, tears silently fell from his cheeks into the blanket he was holding so close. Everything felt like too much.
He hated arguments so much. The loud voices and negative feelings made him feel so small and overwhelmed. The need to just get out, get out, get out. How he closed his eyes and just prayed the tears wouldn't come out, this is not the time for big emotions. He just wanted to hide and make the feelings go away.
Well, fuck him. There he goes again with his big mouth and inability to just shut the fuck up!
No one wants to hear you anyways.
He is trying! He really is! Just spit out the mild ones so his head guts will be at ease until he comes back to his room. That’s exactly what he did… then why was today so difficult?!
You were never meant to be one of them.
And why the fuck is his brain not shutting the fuck up?! He just wanted some rest for God's sake.
You should impale yourself with the bed's wooden poles. 
Just get in a onesie, what if you get tangled up and suffocate?
Get in bed and under the blankets, you should have hate sex with the others.
Hug your emotional support octopus stuffie and feel them hug you back… oh, the ways they could crush you to death.
Just close your eyes… It will be okay in the morning.
Except it won't be. It will be this over, and over, and over again until you die. Alone and in pain and no one will care about you…
"We need Patton. It's clear to me this issue needs his emotional expertise."
A quick hand gesture is all Logan needed to make the moral side rise in his spot. Eyes shut tight and in clear distress, softly bouncing on his heels.
"Sorry kiddo, your old man just needed a little rest. Felt more tired than a hooker after an orgy."
What… in the world?
The room falls silent and everyone is suddenly looking at him. Roman and Virgil look at each other stunned, eyes so big they seem ready to pop out. Janus scoffs in disbelief, like he finally heard how much of a petty bitch he is. Logan adjusts his tie, looking down at the floor, maybe he’ll find his worth somewhere in the dust. Thomas looks like he just saw a puppy being shot in front of him. 
Wow, this little mind of his is not slowing down, is it?
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't know why I said that… must be reaaally out of it! Maybe I just need some coffee and breakfast to get myself back on track." he said, awkwardly tiptoeing his way to the kitchen.
No one knew how to react to what just happened, so Roman spoke first.
“Maybe all that time with my brother is messing with him, speaking of him.” he said as he summoned Remus with an annoyed frown “Where is my copy of Princess and the Frog?”
Remus rose in his spot and stared at his twin like a deer in headlights, after a few seconds, he answered.
“I'm pretty sure I placed it back on the shelf.” he said, timidly hugging himself.
“Well, it's not there!”
The escalating tone made Remus flinch and look away, that seemed to be the wrong thing, because Roman spoke again.
“I swear in the holy name of Julie Andrews, Remus, if you did something to it…"
"I promise I didn't! I- I'm sure I placed it on the shelf, maybe I can help you find it! Just… Please lower your tone." 
Roman was taken back by his response, his brother looked on the verge of tears. He has never seen the duke express himself like that. Weirded out was an understatement,
Before he could say anything, Patton came back and…
"Well, I can safely say the dishwasher liquid does not, in fact, taste like lemon and oranges."
Something was wrong.
"You will not leave this couch until you figure out what happened, do I make myself clear?"
It had been ten minutes since Logan left them there. Ten full minutes of distressed bouncing on his seat, eyes shut as he tried his hardest not to voice his thoughts. After what felt like an hour, Patton couldn’t take it anymore.
"Remus, all these thoughts… are they yours?" he said in a small voice Remus barely heard. "They are horrible…"
“I know they are!” he yelled, causing Patton to flinch. Upon seeing the reaction, the creative side broke down.
"I hate all of this! It all feels like too much!”
Patton’s knowing smile made him feel warm and troubled. A question popped into his head. He scooched over a little bit and started to fidget with his sparkly sleeves.
“Do you feel like this all the time?"
Patton looked up and sighed.
"Mhm" 
"Do you get these thoughts all the time?"
Remus looked up with slightly red eyes.
"Yeah…"
"I never realized how much pain you were actually in… I thought you said those things to annoy us…" he started, receiving a soft laugh from the duke "But they are like a swarm! I need- I need them out!"
“Shh, it's okay. They will calm down, here, tug this string."
The moral side did with a tired hand, when he let go, a soft “quack” came out of nowhere. A tiny duck dropped from the air into his lap.
"Heh… And where did this little guy come from?"
“Little gift.”
A small giggle escaped from Patton’s lips and he changed his posture, visibly calmer and less tense. After working some courage, Remus decided to speak as well.
"I never knew you were feeling this much… It's suffocating. Every emotion feels fucking intense and it hurts! How do you live like this?"
"I just do… Comes with being the heart, I guess. My room helps me, it calms me down when it gets too much."
"Huh. Do you think I could… hang out there sometime?"
"Sure! Janus and Logan have been very insisting on the whole "finding a distraction" thing. We could do a puzzle together or watch a show."
"Yeah… I'd like that."
It has been like this for weeks now. Remus learning to use his inner voice, mindful of how loud noises impact the other’s emotions. Patton started to listen to Remus' ideas and ignored the ones that were plainly intrusive thoughts.
By the end of an afternoon discussion, they were already looking at each other in anticipation.
They sank down and arrived at Patton's living room. There was an unfinished puzzle on the coffee table as well as board game boxes laying on the side of it. Remus picked the neon green notebook and glitter pen and sat down next to the moral side.
They summoned popcorn, sodas and m&ms. Even some lemon slices for Remus. Whenever he got unwanted thoughts, he would write them down. Patton would hug his teddy bear, as a silent sign that they needed to slow down for a bit, when the emotions got too intense.
It was working for them. They also made a mental note to never anger the mind again. It would be fantastic to see Roman get all of Virgil's anxiety, but Remus was a good brother and decided to write that thought down for now.
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inkblackorchid · 1 year
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Me going absolutely insane about Aki
I wanted to make this a nice, coherent post, screenshots and everything, because I feel like it deserves the effort, but in the end, my thoughts completely ran away from me and I guess now I'll just have to inflict whatever stream-of-consciousness mess I can come up with onto people now.
So remember how I talked about the first duel between Aki and Yusei and how it does so much and drives me absolutely insane? Well, that turned into many more thoughts and now I'm basically obsessed with the way Aki and her relationship to pain and destruction are defined at the start through the first third of the show. So I wanna talk about that. Also, warning: LONG post incoming.
We're introduced to this girl who destroys things with her unusual powers and for all we know at that point, she does it on purpose. Yusei doesn't know she can't control these powers at first, we as the audience don't know she can't control these powers at first, hell, Aki herself doesn't know that there's a way for her to learn to control these powers at first. She thinks she has one, she thinks Divine is teaching her, he even goes as far as saying "Only I can stop the rage nesting inside you" (which we're meant to understand as synonymous with her powers because that's how Aki understands it). But the thing is, with hindsight, we know he's lying through his teeth—he's not trying to teach her to control anything. In fact, he wants her to be as destructive as possible. We see this in the way he grows displeased when there's a "shift" in Aki's emotions after Yusei confronts her in the Fortune Cup, causing her powers to weaken because he can't maintain the "vengeful energy" which he links to the strength of her powers.
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And I think there's one important thing to take away from that: Aki doesn't want her powers to be destructive. She's trusting Divine to "stop the rage nesting inside her"—she wants the destruction to stop and hopes he can show her how to accomplish that.
However.
At the same time, in the early episodes of Aki's debut, we're also shown that she acts at best indifferent, and at worst delighted at the destruction she causes. She mocks Gil Randsbourg's knightly antics and steals his monster with glee, she beats down the duel profiler to the point of requiring the on-site paramedics, and nowhere is it more explicit than during her first duel with Yusei, where he tells her to her face that she enjoys the destruction she causes while she keeps hurting him. And the thing is, he's not wrong—but he's not entirely right, either.
Rejected by her parents, ostracised by her classmates, and feared by street duellists as the Black Rose witch, Aki feels as isolated, lonely, and wronged as she possibly can, of course. Moreover, Divine gleefully feeds right back into that, what with his whole "only I can help you, only I can accept you, society sees us psychic duellists as threats"-shtick. Because he doesn't actually want to help her, to improve her mental health, or teach her to accept herself. He wants her to stay angry and vengeful because he needs that wrath to feed her powers. That aside—it's not like Aki is wrong to feel that way, honestly. Her parents have wronged her, her classmates have pushed her away, society has failed her. Her anger is justified; the problem is that it's deeply self-destructive, in the long run, which we see precisely in that enjoyment of destruction. She's tearing up her environment, she's hurting people, and she's trying to find petty satisfaction, even joy in it because these people deserve it, they hurt her first, they're the reason she's this angry and alone and hopeless.
But this is where it gets really interesting for me. Because Aki enjoys the destruction... but she also doesn't. For one, we see her express doubts when Divine speaks to her right before the match against Kinomiya/the duel profiler/Commander Koda. They meet in one of the stadium's corridors and Aki is holding the Black Rose Witch mask (which is another thing I need to talk about), and we get this exchange:
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That doesn't sound like the response of someone gleefully revelling in the pain she causes, does it? But this goes even deeper, which we see during her duel against Yusei in the Fortune Cup.
So I already said that Yusei's neither completely right nor wrong to say Aki enjoys destruction, but what I wanna look at now is Aki's reaction to him saying it. Her immediate, emotional, no-front, no-pretences reaction.
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I guess you could argue that this is her trying to say the socially acceptable thing before she later changes her tune, but you know what? I think it isn't. I think this is actually the truth. Aki tells Yusei to quit the nonsense because what he's saying isn't true, and she doesn't want it to be true.
However, as I mentioned, she does change her tune, later, when Yusei keeps insisting.
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She does a complete one-eighty and admits that frightening and hurting people as the Black Rose Witch is fun. And bear with me here, but—I don't think this is a lie, either. Remember, Aki feels no small amount of very justified anger towards all the people who hurt her and pushed her away. So she does enjoy the fear and pain she's causing, to an extent, but at the same time, this isn't who she wants to be (which Yusei correctly identifies when he questions whether Aki herself really takes as much pleasure in causing pain as she pretends to, because this guy is actually better at quickly getting a measure of people's character than the show sometimes gives him credit for, I feel).
So how do these two things, both wanting to cause pain because Aki herself is in pain, and being afraid of hurting others, coexist, then? The key is the Black Rose Witch—and now I get to talk about the mask.
First, we get some interesting insight about the mask by Divine. In the same conversation where Aki expresses concern about hurting people again, Divine takes the mask from her hands and tells her that "she'd part with it once she realises her pride and mission":
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More on the "pride and mission" thing a little later, because first, I feel the need to point out something: Aki repeatedly looks distressed when the mask is in reach but she's not allowed to wear it. Why?
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Because of this. The Black Rose Witch is not Aki herself, the Black Rose Witch is something Aki created to handle the guilt of constantly hurting others with her powers. The Black Rose Witch is essentially a maladaptive coping mechanism to seperate the part that enjoys hurting others from herself, to pretend it's someone else. And Divine wants her to get rid of this part, because of course he does. He doesn't want Aki to be separate from her impulses for destruction, he wants her to embrace them and revel in them, mask or no mask. Speaking of which, remember her "pride and mission"? With everything we learn about Divine during the show, I don't think it'd be a stretch to say that the "pride and mission" he refers to here is precisely this. He wants her to be proud of her destruction, to accept it as her mission to be an obedient little destroyer for him.
But you know what really gets me?
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She can't. She can't do it. She can't let go of the Black Rose Witch, she can't become that person full of hatred and a desire to destroy everything that Divine wants her to be. Because she doesn't want to be. It's the whole reason why the Black Rose Witch exists! Because no matter her anger, no matter how much the world has rejected her, fundamentally, Aki doesn't want to be a person who hurts others and who is indifferent to their pain! And this is brought up repeatedly, during the Fortune Cup and after.
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Not to speak of the way she reacts to Misty telling her that she supposedly killed Toby for the first time!
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That's not the expression of someone who couldn't care less about the destruction they cause! She even goes as far as insisting there were no young boys at the duel field where Toby was found, hinting at the fact that she was paying attention to that, that she made sure that no matter what destruction she might cause otherwise, no children would be harmed!
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Aki has such a deep-seated, repressed desire for kindness and human connection that it pains me to watch her. And it's yet another reason why she clings to Divine like a lifeline, because she thinks he's genuinely the only person in the entire world who's willing to offer her that.
And you know what's extremely ironic? The moment Divine is suddenly ripped away from Aki (and good riddance), he almost gets what he wants.
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In that one, anguished, recently traumatised moment, faced with the two people who started her whole cycle of rejection and self-hatred, Aki is completely ready to become the monster everyone called her and that Divine wanted after all. It only took taking everything she thought she had left away from her.
And what finally snaps her out of it?
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Granted, Yusei has already laid some groundwork towards changing her mind here (and we love him for it), but here, where not one, but two people are completely ready to face up to her terrifying powers, approach her, and accept her anyway, while ADMITTING that they can't help her/are afraid of her/failed her (and I am convinced that this gesture means even more precisely because Yusei and Aki's dad both aren't psychics), she reaches out and...
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Upon having her pain acknowledged, upon seeing that people are willing to reach out to her and offer her that kindness and human connection she's been craving for an eternity after all, even though her powers are still there and could still hurt them, she can finally let go of the impulse to hurt the people who have hurt her for long enough to control her powers by herself and choose not to hurt one of the two people she arguably has the most reason to be angry at. And I know some people hate that she forgave her dad because he didn't deserve it—and I get it. I do. Hideo Izayoi has so much to make up for, it's unlikely he'll ever accomplish it in his lifetime. But he tries, and the much more important thing is that Aki accepts that he's willing to try. Because, and I can't stress this enough, this is about her. It's not about her father, and it's not about Yusei. It's about her. All Yusei does in both duels with her is drop some insights at her feet and extend his hand halfway—hell, he even admits he can't save her! But Aki can, and she chooses to. She chooses to accept her father's apology and try being with her family again, she chooses to accept Yusei's friendship and help save the world (because he specifically requests her help, to boot), and she chooses to let go of her anger and her hatred. Because it's what she wants, and it's who she is, beneath the facade of the Black Rose Witch. And even though I can 100% understand people who think she should have ditched her parents, I think Aki's whole progression up to this point is a beautiful representation of forgiveness—because in the end, that forgiveness is not for her father. It's for her. It's so she can start healing from all the hurt inside herself, and I think she deserves that.
I honestly don't remember whether I originally had another point I wanted to get to, but yeah. In conclusion, season one and two Aki is a fantastically written character and I love her to death.
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tendertenebrosity · 1 month
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New piece for my Ocean's Echo fan characters! Masterpost here.
Saelin Cor had long since stopped judging the people around him for the stray, incidental thoughts that flitted past his awareness like minnows. A lot of them were just silly and shallow. Many were unreasonable - petty, unfair, disproportionately angry.
Most people knew it, too. It just wasn’t something anybody could help.
What mattered the deeper patterns of thought that Saelin had to focus on to sense. Actual intention, action and deliberate choices.
Saelin could quite happily judge people on those.
Davi had just had a whole morning full of briefings and seminars. It would have been nice if Saelin could be excused from that kind of thing, since Davi would send him all the information he needed to know and nobody ever asked his opinion. People rarely even acknowledged him where he sat beside Davi (or sometimes slightly behind, which felt just great). But that didn’t seem to be allowed.
Now, as they walked down the corridor into the mess hall, past the streams of military personnel, Saelin took a deep breath and steadied himself against the flash and flutter of hungry, thirsty, I can’t believe he did that, ugh what is taking this bitch so long, wow look at them, longing…
“If you go get the food, I’ll get coffee,” Davi said, turning away.
A quick scan of the crowded mess hall didn’t detect any of the handful of people he knew, so Saelin didn’t have any real cause to object to Davi’s assumption that they’d sit together. Probably with some of the other pilots, none of whom were synced except Davi. Fantastic. Exactly what I need.
Saelin wove his way between the crowds of people, through the billowing clouds of noise that nobody but him ever perceived, towards the food lines.
… did she see me, Lights my back hurts, for fuck’s sake not this guy again…
And it was then, collecting his tray and weaving his way through the crowd, that Saelin realised he had gone all day without once consciously thinking about the sync bond or the looming counterweight of Davi Antrell’s mind on the other end of it.
It was just… there. He had not thought about it.
He wanted to throw the tray in his hands. The urge, the need to do it rose up in his chest and made his hands tremble; he wanted to dump its contents on the ground and fling the whole thing as hard and as far away from him as possible. Maybe it’d break. He wanted to break it against the ground, and scream or cry, and run. To break something, to make noise, to show some kind of external sign of the horror and grief and rejection that pressed against his skin. No. No. No. Can’t.
He’d been here for six months.
And this was normal now.
Saelin took a deep breath, resettled the weight of the tray in his hands, and resumed walking. Probably the mugs and bowls wouldn’t have broken anyway, he told himself distantly. Not the way he wanted them to.
He was aware of the sync bond now. So was Davi; there was no way he wouldn’t have felt that sudden tempest of emotion. Here he was now, sliding alarm, inquiry and concern down the bond.
Saelin pushed back, more firmly than he probably should have. No need. Wait.
When Saelin slid the tray onto the table and dropped into the seat beside him, Davi frowned at him.
“What was that?” he asked, aloud, but under his breath.
“Nothing,” Saelin said.
Irritated concern pulsed across the sync. “Did somebody say something to you?”
The protective edge to the question was annoying. “No.”
“Saelin…” Davi glanced behind Saelin, his eyes scanning across the crowded mess hall. “Don’t pretend you didn’t flip out just now. If somebody did or said something, you need to tell me about it.”
No, I don’t, Saelin wanted to say. In fact, if I were being bullied, telling you so you could pull rank on whoever it is would probably not result in anyone thinking better of me.
The murmuring of thoughts pressed in around Saelin, distracting him from the conversation. Someone two tables back was engaged in a furious argument with the supervisor they’d just left, sitting alone and stabbing a fork at their meal viciously.
The non-synced pilot sitting across from Davi was carefully keeping his face blank and wondering with queasy fascination about the sync bond and what it felt like.
“Agent Thirty-two…”
He needed to give more than this, he realised, Davi didn’t respond well if Saelin gave him nothing.
He sighed, put his hands up to massage his temples as if they hurt. They didn’t, yet. “Nobody said or did anything wrong,” he managed to say. “I just - it’s just one of those days. Nearly dropped something, and I just... Overreacting to minor inconveniences. You know how it is.”
Davi’s face cleared slowly. “Okay,” he said. “Yeah, I get it.”
That was an odd thing about this. Saelin had thought, when this began, that the sync bond would let Davi hear his thoughts the way he heard everybody else’s. That it would convey reader powers onto Davi somehow, even if it was just Saelin it worked on.
It didn’t. Unless they were sunk really deep into the sync, one bilobed mind with the ship as its metal body, Davi had no more idea of what Saelin was actually thinking than anybody else did. Emotions came across if Saelin wasn’t careful, intentions sometimes, but conscious thought? No. Saelin could still lie to him.
“You always do get a bit oversensitive at lunch,” Davi said, offhandedly. “Low blood sugar or something?”
And every so often Davi would say something that showed two things simultaneously: that he was actually paying attention to Saelin’s moods and preferences. And that he no more understood what powered those moods than Saelin understood the inner workings of the coffee dispenser.
Saelin fought back another wave of grief and refusal, took a deep breath. He swiped his coffee from Davi’s tray and used it as an excuse not to speak for a moment.
Caffeine made his barriers worse, if anything. But the coffee was the way he took it; Davi remembered without asking now, just as Saelin remembered to snag an extra bread roll and ignore the dessert option when he got Davi’s food.
He kind of wished he had gotten the wrong things on purpose. But that was one of those mean, self-destructive little impulses he already knew decent people pretended they didn’t have.
He should give Davi credit for trying, should extend that little bit of grace that said ‘he didn’t mean that to come out as rude as it did, let it go’.
Saelin didn't want to.
“Or something,” he mumbled. “Sure.”
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medichamcham · 12 days
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Got any jealousy headcannon for Giorose? Like, who get jealous easily and what they do about it?
oh god first of all thank you for making me uncover old headcanons i thought about ages ago HAHAHAH im very happy to be able to talk about it again!!
ngl i can't rose as the jealous type at all? he really doesn't understand why people become jealous either and is mostly oblivious to it
he might get bummed out at most but it's usually not much of a problem. of course that doesn't mean he gets annoyed with giovanni, but it never comes from jealousy
(also, it probably helps that giovanni is a ruthless and allround ill-tempered man who is generally hostile towards others, with rose being one of the very few exceptions)
on the other hand, i do think giovanni is the one who occasionally becomes jealous of rose hahah. i mean, this is the guy who has a perpetual desire for money, control, and power; he's bound to have some possessive tendencies in relationships
i do think giovanni doesn't get straight up pissed off or anything, but he may become somewhat vexed when it comes down to it. he's not above being petty either, like messing with whoever is being a little too close to rose for comfort
rose is attuned to people and has a natural charm that easily draws attention to him without trying, and his generally open hearted and affectionate disposition may well easily be mistaken for flirting. which might be, against his better judgement, perceived that way for giovanni when they're at a public space like a pub or some fancy gathering. especially when the person who rose is talking to has a similar personality
since giovanni doesn't want to make a scene, he might appear a lot more moody and cold out of nowhere, even though he insists he's fine. however rose can clearly tell something's up because giovanni shows his emotions solely through body language, never through words, and he doesn't conceal them as adeptly as he wants to think
so of course giovanni doesn't confront rose about this directly. but i suppose he does become more domineering(?) with rose when they're alone as a form of catharsis, in a way that you might scream into a pillow to get the frustration out
as an example, i like to think giovanni is inexplicably more aggressive and raw when he kisses rose, less worried about hurting him and simply indulging himself with his need for control, might even leave some teeth marks or hickeys on spots because he gets carried away in his actions
(of course, rose loves when giovanni is like this, even though he doesn't know where it's exactly coming from... he might have a hunch but he doesn't dare to accuse giovanni of being jealous HAHAH)
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sanityshorror · 11 months
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Another Julius canon info please!!
-🧸
I'm so sorry, this is all over the place and I'm pretty sure I've already posted all the information over the course of the last 15 months (I can't believe I posted Julius 15 months ago..) I included his ref and some illustrations/doodles/stretches to jazz it up. ANYWAY
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Julius stands at 6'5 inches in his boots, 6'2 without.
Julius is all about deception. Nothing more than a thin veil of beauty to hide the rot beneath – both metaphorically and literally, as Julius is always rotting inside. This leads him to have to regularly replace his internal organs to prevent the rot from consuming him. He has a special rose that decays at the same rate as his body, which lets him know when it's time to change the insides.
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If Julius doesn't keep up with maintaining his body, his false form will eventually completely rot and he'll be left in his true form until he fully rebuilds a new body to be his false form
↑ has never happened, however. Being a perfectionist, Julius always keeps up with self maintenance.
Julius is significantly more messed up than Killian. Deception is a helluva thing. There's a reason he scares the living shit out of Killian.
Killian nearly always calls him 'Jules' (his nickname for him), instead of Julius. (Keep that in mind, it's important for MWTSN)
Julius loves animals, especially cats. He really loves cats. He doesn't own any, to his dismay, because he panics over the idea of cat hair getting everywhere.
Julius is basically a cat in human form. Killian discovered when they were young children, if he dangled a string in front of Julius's face, Julius would watch it swing back and forth silently before eventually pouncing at it with no warning. Julius still does this.
Julius is completely apolitical.
He usually uses straws with his drinks, and has a tendency to deliberately loudly slurp from them.
He's generally just a complete sassy bitch and petty as hell.
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He's not actually stupid and clearly is rather intelligent. His lack of knowledge on many logic 101 things is based on either 1) the lack of education being a product of his time 2) Julius only learns about things he has interest in, if something doesn't interest him, you couldn't pay him to learn.
Still.. He is..a little dumb xD ↓
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Julius was born December 24, 1874 in the outskirts of Dublin, Ireland. He immigrated to Boston shortly after turning 18.
Being a man from the 1800s, he has the expected skill set of one. Meaning, yes, he can hunt, build stuff, ride horses, knows how to survive in the wilderness off the land, so on and so forth.
Julius came from a working class family and came into his money on his own, having a very successful dress shop.
Julius is age locked at exactly 24, he was killed on his 24th birthday.
He was born a human but has been a demon since January of 1899.
He's mob affiliated because of Killian.
His stuffed animal Mr Bear doesn't have any supernatural aspects, Mr Bear is just a regular plushie that Julius is very attached to. He's had Mr Bear since longer than he can remember (fun fact: he was actually gifted Mr Bear by his mother on the day he was born). Mr Bear is very much a comfort item to Julius, he kinda brings it everywhere.
Julius has childish behavior but it's due to mental/emotional stunting, as well as OSDD (I won't elaborate on his OSDD, at least at this time).
Julius is also wise farrrrr beyond his years in other aspects.
He really can't stand being called a Twink lol (he's really not a Twink at all).
Julius is a bit intimidated/made anxious by "fangirls"
He's gay, idk where the bisexual (and straight🗿) rumors began but he's canonically gay and married to Killian Lynch (who is pan)
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source: myself, I created both Julius and Killian xD
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Text
If that whole thing about Kylie not allowing Selena to take a pic with Tim is true let me just say flat out that if I was Tim I would drop this woman instantly.
This is why I can't stand jealous people. I myself have been guilty of this at one point, however jealous people= breeds heavy insecurity.
Jealous people are not cute,it's not romantic, jealousy is not a cute trope. it is an emotion that really serves no purpose in my eyes. it's childish, it's highschool petty behavior. grass seems greener on the other side stuff until you actually see what the other side has and then you regret it or you don't.
I can understand if someone gives a reason for you to feel insecure about yourself. That is why I always say NEVER trust the WORDS that come from someone's mouth ALWAYS look at their ACTIONS they scream much louder.
You aren't about to tell a grown ass man that he can't take a picture with his best friend. They have been friends for a while and I'm sorry but bros before hoes always!
And if some one like Kylie were to tell my best friend no. which really isn't her place to start with it's Tims. I would take a step back and be like "okay, first off who are you?"
It is not about you Kylie! It 👏is 👏NOT👏about 👏you!👏 It is about Timothee you are only there because he invited you to go with him. which in my personal opinion he should have said no.
entitled people make me laugh I'm more heartbroken for Tim and Selena.
I really hope that this Kylie bs stops soon and that Tim drops this woman quickly. No one should control someone, there is a huge difference between asking a partner to not do something to give them peace of mind it's called loyalty, respect and taking your partners feelings into consideration before you do something.
But being a flat out controlling, "everything needs to be about me" toxic person. No that's not good at all.
Am I jealous of Kylie hell no! but Timothee from what I have seen is not the type of person to diss miss anyone whether it's a fan or his friends. He is ways right there in the middle of it to give them what they want or need as a good friend does within reason.
So the fact that he didn't do much of anything shocks me.
If you have good friends you need to take care of them especially when they are there for you. Having a girlfriend or a boyfriend can be exciting I get it but if you fuck over your friends for that Kardashian/Jenner "my shit don't stink cuz I come from a wealthy family bs and have your head shoved so far up her ass those friends will abandon you.
Your friends (the good ones) stay forever until you give them a reason to leave you. boyfriends and girlfriends don't stay forever if they do (that is rare as fuck nowadays) and Timo if you have learned anything from Armie anything at all don't mess with women like the Kardashians they will ruin your life without even lifting a finger.
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faintedlcve · 5 months
Text
False Fronts IV
part 4 of 4
angst version.
i am absolutely owing my life to @berryzxx bc this bitch (/pos) has given me all my ideas like this wouldn't even exist if it weren't for her also sorry for how late this is?!? i had writers block and then i was packing up to leave uni and go back home woohoo sorry if i accidentally made it third person halfway through bc im stupid
sorry for the wait hope this makes up for it!! didn't wanna release angst and fluff at too different times bc i don't hate you people
pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader
warnings: angst angsty angst angst gut wrenching heart breaking angst, arguments (oohOOHOoH) swearing, not so fake dating (but are they?), the and y/n being idiots, not a happy ending, not proof read (as usual) and my writing
summary: being asked to fake date someone to get a petty ex off their back is the worst possible way of being friend-zoned. you, however, were willing to take any chances to get as close as you could to theodore nott.
im not that mean, the fluffy version can be found here.
once again these beautiful dividers have been created by @cafekitsune!! you can find these exact dividers in a wider range of colours here!
word count: 1.7k
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4: fluff
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The tension between you and Theo had been brewing for days, each passing moment adding weight to the unspoken emotions that hung heavily in the air. Unable to bear the silence any longer, you initiated the conversation, the frustration and confusion evident in your voice.
"Theo, can we talk?" you asked, your voice tinged with a mix of apprehension and determination.
He glanced up from his book, an unreadable expression flickering across his face. "Sure, what's up?"
"It's about us," you began cautiously, the words feeling heavier than you'd anticipated. "I feel like there's something here, between us. But I'm confused about where you stand."
Theo's expression flickered, a fleeting mixture of uncertainty and conflict clouding his features. "I don't know if diving into a relationship right now is the best idea."
"But this isn't just about a relationship," you insisted, your voice rising in exasperation. "It's about acknowledging what's been brewing between us, Theo."
He sighed, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "I'm not sure what I want, Y/N. It's complicated."
"Complicated?" You scoffed, the frustration simmering within you. "What's so complicated about being honest?"
"Why can't you understand?" Theo's voice rose, mirroring your frustration. "I don't want to mess things up and end up causing you pain."
"You're not getting it!" Your voice echoed in the charged atmosphere. "I need to know where we stand, and your indecision isn't helping."
Theo's reluctance grated on your nerves, fueling the intensity of the argument. "I need you to be honest with me, Theo. I can't keep waiting for something that might never happen!"
"I know, but I'm conflicted," he admitted, his tone wavering.
Frustration boiled within you. "Conflicted about what? Us?"
His gaze shifted away, a mix of guilt and concern clouding his features. "I... I don't want Jess to hurt you."
"I can handle Jess, she isn't your responsibility," you asserted firmly, the frustration simmering beneath your words.
"You don't get it, do you?" Theo's voice cut through the tension, edged with frustration. "She's MY ex."
His words stung, and the heat of the argument intensified. "And that gives you the right to dictate what's good for me?" you shot back, your voice rising in indignation.
"Look, I'm just trying to protect you," Theo retorted, his tone laced with urgency.
"Protect me? From what?" Your voice rose, the frustration boiling over. "I can handle my own affairs, Theo. I don't need you deciding what's best for me!"
The tension crackled between you, each word spoken a testament to the underlying emotions that had escalated into a heated argument. The clash of opinions and conflicting desires hung heavily in the charged atmosphere, leaving the potential relationship teetering on the edge of uncertainty. The anticipation in the room was suffocating.
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Days stretched into weeks, and the awkward distance between you and Theo became the new norm. Despite the avoidance, every accidental encounter sent a rush of conflicting emotions through you. Butterflies danced in your stomach, a bittersweet reminder of the connection you once shared, now lost in a fog of misunderstanding.
Each time your paths crossed, the unresolved tension simmered beneath the surface. The silent longing for resolution battled with the ache of hurt and confusion, leaving you caught in a turmoil of emotions whenever Theo came into view.
The avoidance hadn't dulled the effect he had on you. His presence was still magnetic, drawing your attention despite the unspoken rift that divided you both. The simple sight of him evoked a rush of emotions, a testament to the bond you once shared and the rift that now tore you apart.
With every passing moment, the yearning for clarity clashed with the fear of confronting the situation, leaving you entangled in a web of unresolved emotions and unspoken apologies, the butterflies a painful yet undeniable reminder of the connection you couldn't seem to sever.
Summoning your courage, you approached Theo's dorm, determined to offer an overdue apology. A hesitant knock resulted in eerie silence. Unsure of Theo's whereabouts, you glanced around the deserted hallway, your resolve mingling with uncertainty.
Taking a tentative step forward, you reached for the doorknob, finding it unlocked. The decision to enter felt both intrusive and necessary. The room was devoid of life, the emptiness echoing the void that had developed between you and Theo.
Your gaze drifted to Theo's desk, where a single piece of paper lay. The handwriting was unmistakable, sending a jolt of emotions through you as you read the words:
Last night was so fun, so glad you dropped Y/N.
- Jess
Disbelief and a pang of deception ricocheted through you. The words were like a gut punch, shattering the fragile hope you had held for reconciliation and understanding. Confusion clouded your thoughts as you grappled with the apparent evidence before you.
Your mind raced, attempting to process the meaning behind Jess's note. It seemed to confirm your worst fears, undermining the fragile trust you had in the situation and leaving your heart aching with the weight of assumed betrayal.
With tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, you turned away, the intention of offering an apology now replaced by a swirl of hurt. The unaddressed misunderstanding had taken root, poisoning the hope for amends and leaving you in a cloud of uncertainty and hurt.
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Approaching Theo with a determined stride, you took a deep breath before speaking. "Can we talk?" you requested, your tone indicating the urgency of the matter.
Theo nodded, a mix of apprehension and curiosity in his eyes. "Sure, what's up?"
Without further ado, you gently pulled Theo out into the corridor, seeking a bit of privacy before diving into the conversation. "What's going on?" you asked, urgency evident in your voice.
Theo's brow furrowed in response, confusion evident in his expression. "What do you mean?"
In response, you reached into your pocket, retrieving the note. Holding it up for Theo to see, you arched an eyebrow, your gaze fixed on his face.
"What's this?" Theo questioned, puzzled.
"You tell me," you replied, your tone laced with a hint of accusation and urgency.
Theo's eyes widened as he caught sight of the note, a mix of shock and confusion crossing his features. "I… I don't know," he stammered, genuine bewilderment resonating in his voice.
The weight of the moment hung heavily between you, the note acting as a stark reminder of the rift that had developed. A tense silence pervaded the corridor, each passing moment thick with unspoken tension, the truth seemingly just out of reach.
Amidst Theo's genuine confusion and your distress, the mystery behind the note remained unsolved, leaving both of you ensnared in a cloud of uncertainty and doubt, the truth obscured by a veil of suspicion.
Holding out the note for Theo to see, you watched his expression closely as he read it. His eyes widened in surprise, confusion etched across his features. "She sent you that?" he asked, incredulous.
"What? No!" you responded quickly, a mix of frustration and confusion in your voice. "She sent it to you. It was in your room."
The implication that Jess had sent the note only added to the confusion between you and Theo.
heo's eyes flickered from the note to your face, disbelief written across his features. "I've never seen this before," he stated firmly, his voice tinged with confusion.
"Well, yeah, I took it," you admitted, the tension in the air palpable.
His brows furrowed in surprise. "Wait, you were snooping around in my dorm?" Theo's voice betrayed a mix of shock and frustration, his focus narrowing on your admission.
"What? That's what you're focused on?" you retorted, a touch of exasperation coloring your tone. The accusatory tone caught you off guard, adding to the already tumultuous conversation.
"Jess is obviously trying to screw up our relationship," Theo retorted, a trace of agitation and concern lacing his words.
"Or maybe you're just making up excuses. How about that, huh?" The words escaped your lips, edged with annoyance and simmering anger, as you grappled with the ease of his denial.
"What exactly are you accusing me of?" Theo's voice held a note of incredulity, his expression a mix of confusion and concern.
"Right now, I am accusing you of sleeping with her and cheating on me," you declared, the accusation spilling out in frustration and hurt.
"Wow, you really don't trust me, huh?" Theo's voice held a note of hurt, his expression a mix of disappointment and irritation.
"Currently, I don't," you admitted, your voice tinged with a hint of regret and exasperation.
"Well, If you can't trust me, I can't be with you," Theo replied, his tone laced with a touch of resignation and hurt.
The weight of the situation settled heavily between you, the conversation having taken an unexpected turn. Hurt and distrust hung like a veil, casting a shadow on the once-promising connection between you and Theo.
"Wait, are you breaking up with me?" The words stumbled out, your voice heavy with dejection, a lump forming in your throat.
"Well, you know what? Maybe Jess was right. We weren't really dating," Theo's voice held a trace of sorrow, the admission heavy with a crushing finality.
The realization sank in, the weight of his words like a sharp dagger through your heart. A shroud of sadness enveloped you, the abrupt end of something you thought was real leaving you feeling hollow and shattered.
In the deafening silence that followed, a heavy sadness settled upon you, your heart aching with the bitter sting of a relationship unraveled by doubt and mistrust.
"I'm sorry y/n. I really did try." Theo replies.
"Oh. So this is it then."
"Bye y/n."
"Goodbye," escaped through clenched teeth, a silent echo reverberating through every fiber of your being, each syllable a struggle against the strain of every muscle in your body.
And there you stood, the sudden and sharp cessation of what might have been, seeping into your core. It left you standing in the haunting echoes of a love's demise, surrounded by the desolate remnants of something once cherished.
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hi hello! this is the end of the series. check out the fluffy ver here if you'd like!! here are a few fics to read while i work on my next one:
masterlist
reader's choice (mattheo x reader)
reader's choice (theodore x reader)
i honestly had so much fun writing this thank you for sticking along with this <33 sorry for how late this is i was like so busy and im also lazy so yea
taglist: @hisparentsgallerryy @jetblackpayne @delulu4marauders @ahead-fullofdreams
if you want to be added to my theodore/any other character's taglist just send me an ask/dm!
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Obey me: Apocalypso
How they are as Yanderes♥️?
Tw: blood, obsessive behaviour, toxic behaviour, emotional manipulation, abuse.. i feel like YANDERE is good enough of a warning right. You know what fun stuff it implies. Belphegor was originally supposed to be a yandere, so why wouldn't these guys be yknow.
Idk i do too much soft shit gibb some violence in this bich 🫥
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Conquest
Oh boy what a great Yandere he'd make! 😀 (Isn't he sort of already one thoughh...??)
Obsessive, possessive, delusional .. whole package! He's already only interested in MC originally out of pettiness after all. (1- they're human. 2- the brothers want em. So obviously HE has to have them instead! Cuz yknow, he wins everything)
And he's already affiliated with punishing whoever annoys him so he isn't above murdering someone for no reason. (Thank the pact for keeping him in check)
He doesn't want MC talking to anyone else. They can be free! They just, can't interact. Even his brothers is pushing it.
Meanwhile he can flirt with as many fans as he feels like it. He's an unfair piece of shit, but in his mind, he KNOWS he's never gonna be unfaithful to you. But he doesn't trust others with you.
The kind to babytrap. He's doing whatever is necessary to ensure victory. After all, that's his thing yknow?
The rose glasses are to prevent the blood from getting in his beautiful eyes ✨
(His eyes are already red anyway.)
It shows up super well on the rest of him, though since he wears light tones like white, washed out denim, beige...
On his demon form, which has shades of black and red, it's nearly impossible to tell though
Yep. Even his forms are double-sided.
If he had his wings, he'd wrap them around you... but yknow. Not anymore...Oh but maybe he'd be the kind to rip a demon's wings off and snatch them for himself. Cuz yknow, the bastard had LOOKED at you.
He probably kidnapped you by drugging a drink or a snack he'd offered you. If you'd have refused it, he wouldn't have taken a no anyway. He'd have shoved it down your throat if necessary..
He always encourages you and talks in honeyed words. He will rarely ever get angry with you, which probably only makes you sink deeper...
Aww you messed up and you tried to leave??? :C that's okay~ he think it's cute.. since he knows there was never even a chance that you'd succeed. He's not mad until you make HIM screw up.
Eventually your broken fragile mind will begin to associate him with good. As everyone else he blindly lies to and manipulates. You'l be totally convinced he's just too good for you...
Interestingly he'd be a mix of a yandere and uhh the type that always needs constant attention
Spoils his obsession rotten!!! Whatever you want, you'l have it!
He might show you off like some prize. All dressed up to show to his brothers and friends... if only they knew.
"Aww 💕 it's okay baby! I knoww you wanna leave real badly but if you leave... ...you ...won't be mine anymore........"
War
Breaks your kneecaps keeps you in his house kinda yandere
He also most definitely manipulates you with all his contacts until you think he's actually a pretty decent guy!
Oh would you look at that he snapped your wrist-
He believes in physical discipline and if you're being difficult you won't be for very long.
Famine gets mental trauma War gets physical trauma
He doesn't want you going unhealthy so he actually keeps you well fed and active.
If you're being annoying he won't be afraid to threaten you is all
Just physically abusive kinda yandere
He won't really do much at some point you'l just flinch at the threat and not the actual outcome
Probably the kind to have everyone you love killed, he has people who'd do that on his part.
"Leave..? Psh, don't be ridiculous. What even IS there to go back to???"
Famine
He knows the ins and out of the mind, if he wants to break you? He'l break you
Nevermind that his abilities involve chains and shackles, he will utterly break you so hard he won't even bother putting you in chains.
Isolation, starvation.. he'l have you trapped until you can barely think for yourself
He treats you condescendingly, he isn't afraid to put his foot down. Yes, he loves you, but that doesn't mean he'l go easy on you
Molds his obsession into the perfect slave. He's attuned with manipulating his way to the top. How to conquer whilst not even lifting a finger...
Brainwashing is practically a walk in the park for him.
He won't lock you up in some creepy basement. Urgh, he doesn't need to remind himself of his own isolation. No, it'l be semi furnished and pretty modern. But nevertheless a prison.
You find yourself not even doing anything on your own. For example you're starving- drooling at a plate of delicious expensive meat sitting on the table.. but you don't eat it, not whiteout permission.
As long as you behave, you won't be suffering Famine's wrath.. right?
He won't let you out of the house unless he's there to accompany you. You'l have to ask nicely to be let out.
"You want to leave...? Pff- hahahhahahah!!!...ahh.... you're even dumber than i thought!! 💕"
Death
He's obsessed and so afraid of you leaving him
You're never out of his sights ever wherever you go he follows.
Grade A at BNE
Probably steals your shit
Probably straight up sobs and has a panic attack if he doesn't know where you are
He doesn't realize how absolutely suffocating he is and honestly he's too cute i'd be afraid to tell him...
Not above putting you on an actual leash or put you in a cage Toma/Jumin style
He's so scared you'l wander off and die the world is spooky and dangerous :(
Delusional as heck he really just wants the best for you (so he says)
Will never expect anything out of you. If you don't wanna cooperate that's okay you're just confused 💕
He won't loose his temper unless you push him too far...
"Leave?.... nonono.. no you can't...... uhm.. leave......... ah- i'm sorry-??! Please don' t cry...."
Ezekiel
He does it professionaly
Definitely sinks slowly. At first he knows his feelings are wrong, and with how focused Ezekiel is he would actively fight it.
But... it's not such a big deal if he accidentally happens to keep the lip balm you lent him right...?
Or that jacket you left in his office....
He's slowly falling and is actively in denial. Of course he isn't an angel- don't be ridiculous, he can't 'fall'....
The angels wouldn't notice, he'd be absolutely sure to keep his feelings and secret business under wraps..
Even then what are they gonna do? Be disappointed? He already has their pact. Too late to take it back now.
He probably will never kidnap you. He's content with satisfying his obsession in secret.
By stealing your stuff
Unless you catch him red handed. He can't have you telling anyone...
You'l be treated well. You just won't be able to leave the house if not with him.....
He treats you as he would a roomie or coworker. Tries to act as if nothing happened. He's still in denial that he's most definitely gross and obsessive and crazy.
"Oh... you lost a shirt? Must have gotten lost in the washer. That happens. I'll buy you another one next time i go out."
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alyjojo · 1 year
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The Person On Your Mind in April 🐓 2023 - Pisces
Whole of their energy towards Pisces: The Sun
This person is madly in love with you, all of the romantic feelings are here with them. They see you as someone that brings the sunshine into the room, it literally shines out of your butt. Some of you have Aquarius/air placements too because King of Swords sits next to this Sun like…you are the sunshine yes, but you’re not dumb either. You use your head over your heart and expect truth and fairness overall. That could also be their energy, and they think you’re as happy as they are, or you are what makes them so happy ☀️ If you aren’t together yet they’re recognizing you’re what makes them happy.
Feelings: 10 Cups
With 3 Pentacles, you’re probably already with this person, I don’t know how it’s possible not to be, with these sorts of romantic feelings. You’re their whole world, they see everything with you. Marriage, kids, a happily ever after, little rose trellis in the backyard and a family hound, “how to build a fence?”, the whole thing 💙 They want to work with you to build this together.
Intentions: Knight of Cups
They intend on asking you out, taking you out, being very romantic and doing something sweet, a loving gesture. Ace of Cups can be someone new, but your new beginning card with…10 Cups is already out here, this can’t be someone you’ve just met. Either it’s been casual, they hadn’t asked you out before, or you’ve already been together for awhile. But they want to make it like new again, even if you have, doing something cute maybe you’ve never done before.
Actions: Ace of Wands rev & 7 Wands
You’re messing it up! Pisces WYD? Sabotage alert. You’ve got your guard up with this person based on something they’ve done in the past to piss you off. Fair enough. So they’re trying to make up for something. You may have already made your mind up you’re done with their crap, but they’re determined to change your mind, start over. There could be some lovebombing involved with Knight of Cups, and you’re not foolish, that’s why they see you as King of Swords too. Naturally skeptical. I don’t get that their feelings or intentions are shady though, they’re genuine. You’ve got unrealistic expectations, they’ve got XXX, this could have to do with intimacy for some, and I’ll just leave that there. This person wants passion and you’re taking the wind right out of their sails. The Sun & 10 Cups is a pretty big deal Pisces, use that King energy to remain balanced. Head over emotions may be a good thing, if those emotions are resentment. They mean what they say.
Messages:
Their side:
- Kind!
- XXX
Your side:
- New Beginning
- Unrealistic Expectations
Possible signs:
Pisces, Aquarius & Leo
If you’re dealing with:
Knight of Swords, The Sun shows up again underneath, you’re communicating your happiness and joy to all of your friends and the people in your life. Probably why this person sees you as The Sun, this is a period where you’re UP. Celebrating. Winning. Feeling great!
Aries - has healed from something & is focusing on themselves right now
Taurus - idk about this person, they seem kinda petty & immature, they’re instigating or acting competitive in their communications with you, trying to irritate you. Or that is switched. Avoid 💯
Gemini - no movement & is a jerk to you
Cancer - could be losing money but it’s in a proactive way, fixing a problem before it’s a bigger problem, being responsible
Leo - could have a gift for you, could be helping you out financially, or you both are doing well generally and are being generous with each other, taking turns paying etc.
Virgo - you’ve reached the end of a cycle with this person and they’re sad and upset, could have regrets, or you do
Libra - is a cheater, double life energy
Scorpio - all about their work, being successful, staying on top of things, but they’re nostalgic about or miss you
Sagittarius - has passion for you but feels unable to express that or do anything, could be this person with that energy
Capricorn - rushing towards you but not telling you everything, they have secrets about…5 Pentacles, being broke, debt, losing a job. Pride could be on the line, they’ll open up more when they’re ready.
Aquarius - waiting to reconcile, or maybe for you to calm down if you’re angry. 10 Cups is rev, and they wanna fix it because they don’t like things unstable or unhappy between you.
Pisces - coming out of hiding to create something new and amazing with you, or in general
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pidgeonspen · 1 year
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New Year!
Hey y'all! I don't really update much here save for dumping art, but I'm gonna try and be a bit more active around here.
2021 was an interesting year - a lot happened! I feel like I grew so much over the past year, and it's kind of difficult to put into words. But, I'll try!
I had to cut someone very dear to me out of my life. There were a lot of messy emotions - even when I knew cutting them out was reasonable given what was happening, it kind of tripped me up for a while. I had an amazing network of support from my friends, but I still missed the person.
I don't bare any ill will toward them, regardless of what they believe. At the same time, getting out of that situation opened my eyes to a lot of things - about them, about myself, about what a healthy friendship and love really looks like. Sometimes we strive so hard to be loyal, to stand by a loved one, that we excuse pretty awful things and make excuses for them when they hurt the other people in our lives.
Me and this person, we clung on to one another because we were so convinced that only we two truly understood and accepted the other. Feeling seen and understood in ways I don't imagine I could find in many others... It's an understandable thing to cling onto. There was a false sense of security our friendship brought on that I held onto very tightly. We often became hateful, spurring on eachothers worst traits and wallowing in our petty feelings and nursing our fragile egos.
But as I started opening up to kinder, different people, and began to grow more empathetic, this person dug their heels in and grew resentful, and more openly hateful and cruel. Or, maybe they were always like that. Something something red flags and rose-tinted lenses.
I really wanted them to get better with me. But there came a point where they hurt a mutual friend of ours just because they wanted someone to bare the brunt of their anger. And when I stepped in, I had hate thrown my way. They took that hate public, turned it into flat out bigotry, and then blamed me for our friends deciding to cut ties with them.
It worked, for a time -- I spent a good chunk of time blaming myself, wondering if I didn't give this friend enough. Enough of what? I gave my time, my energy, my love to this person, and I could not meet their needs. I let them walk all over me, all over our friends, and the one time I finally stood up to them, and enforced boundaries, it destroyed our relationship. I'm better now. I have an amazing group of friends. I'm surrounded by people who love me, for whom that love means mutual trust to be open and clear about boundaries, where there's mutual respect and communication when issues do arise.
I feel so much more secure, and I'm so much better at recognizing when I'm in a bad headspace and taking the steps necessary to avoid hurting myself - or anyone else - when I need to. I no longer listen to the Bad Brain Signals that make mountains out of molehills and I don't fall apart every time a friend and I don't agree on something.
I feel so loved and seen and cared for. I love my friends. And if you're reading this, and you find yourself in a similar situation to where I was: it's okay. I know letting go of someone especially close to you is scary, even if - especially if - you're seeing the red flags popping up. It'll hurt for a bit, but I promise you'll be okay in the end.
Anyway, outside of that mess? I've been pretty good. Got a trip planned fairly soon to go and see some friends. Been putting in the work to make some (positive) changes in my offline life.
Been slowly - slowly - gaining confidence in my writing and enjoying writing up a little something entirely for myself, which is rare. Hope y'all are doing amazing as well! <3
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mssirey · 2 years
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Magic’s Touch
A little gift for @missluthorwillseeyounow​
Magic is the type of beast that feasts on emotion. It can be honed for precision, brandished with finesse, but Lena’s emotions are not easily hidden beneath her sleeve. She buried them for a reason—devoted herself to the logic that underpinned that choice. 
In her youth she had lashed out—pettiness learned from observation—but whatever twisted satisfaction others found in it, she knew only the consequences that drank the warmth from her heart. She could not stomach the hurt she caused. 
There was a hideousness to her emotions, foul and twisted out of shape. If given the chance, they could rage out of her hands, a fire that consumed indiscriminately. Her skin would bubble first, but then the flames would lick at every hand that reached towards her. 
Lena learned to swallow the bitter taste of her own venom, her tongue bathed in it. And still, she had felled many relationships, with a word, with a look—just a taste of what boiled behind her lips. 
So how was she supposed to trust her magic, so tied to the ick that churned in her gut?
“I can help you.”
It was foolish. Laughable, even. 
With Kara, there is still so much between them, multitudes of conflicting emotions, some she didn’t even recognize. 
But there was Kara’s hand, extended towards her, as unwavering as her gentle smile. 
“It’ll be okay.”
Lena wanted to argue that it wouldn’t be, that it wasn’t worth the risk, but she was so tired of running. She was always digging, but the deeper she got, the higher the tide rose, lapping at her hands, her throat. A thick mess that swallowed any light she shone upon it. 
Against her better judgment, Lena accepted, sighing as she stepped closer. 
“It’ll be okay,” Kara repeated, her surety all that kept Lena from turning away, from hunting for a solution grounded in science. 
The barest brush of their fingers saw a bright spark flitting through the air and then her magic ignited. It blazed through her chest, but instead of consuming, it filled her. 
Lena inhaled with a sharp gasp and her breath danced in her lungs, swirling and rising with the billowing warmth that rushed outward. It was drawn towards the point of contact, where her hand had slipped instinctively into Kara’s, held fast without a moment’s consideration. 
Lena felt light, and as her doubts evaporated, to be replaced with a jittery warmth, gravity lost its hold on her. She realized it all too abruptly when her toes dropped towards the floor and then could no longer reach, and her startled squeeze of Kara’s hand was met with a rich burst of a laugh. Kara’s eyes were wide as she marveled, bright and seeming to cast the blush that rose in her cheeks. 
“Kara! Kara, if you let go—“
“Hey, hey,” she exhaled so freely, so weightless while she stood as Lena’s anchor, “it’s okay, I’ve got you!”
It didn’t matter that Kara’s hold never loosened, the higher Lena lifted, the more her heart raced away from her. Her empty hand flailed towards Kara until she found purchase on her other arm, walked herself forward with a fumbling grip until her elbow locked behind Kara’s neck. 
“See?” Kara chuckled as her arms circled Lena’s waist, pulled her close, reintroduced feet to floor. 
“Don’t laugh! I can’t control it,” she huffed as she clutched tighter, tucking her face into Kara’s neck even as her hair began to lift off her shoulders, floating up to tickle her nose. 
“I’m sorry,” Kara stifled herself with a soft cough, clearing her throat of the laugh that bubbled there. “Is this all you were afraid of?”
“Hardly,” Lena snorted, but the question brought with it focus. She was afraid to hurt Kara, even after everything. Nothing would ever change that, but her fear wasn’t what had spilled outward. 
What she found was airy, relief and security in an odd mix, joy and desire, hope distilled down and pouring from her in waves, tangling them together. She found that she wanted to hold on, that she wanted to make things work. To face the future hand in hand, whatever came of her magic, whatever the world threw at them. 
Lena wanted Kara in her life, beside her. With her.
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