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#resisistance
caliblorn · 1 year
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My body is a cage
That keeps me from dancing with the one i love
But my mind holds the key 
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springlockscars · 5 months
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white cotton (w. afton/fem!reader)
pairing: william afton | steve raglan/fem!reader content tags: somnophilia, mutual masturbation, grinding, panties, clit rubbing, pussy rubbing, no penetration, (age gap, size kink, praise kink, panty kink) summary: william comes home from a hard day at work and just can't resisist the way you look sleeping in his bed, wearing cute little white panties. word count: 1,932 read on AO3
18+ content below cut. minors do not interact.
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note: I was working on this, then I read this post by @dilfkiss and it just tipped me over the edge. enjoy! ♡
William comes home to find you asleep on his bed, only wearing one of his t-shirts that was permanently stained with machine oil no matter how many times he washed it, and a pair of simple white, cotton panties.
You told him you’d wait up for him when he called you from work on his lunch break. He told you all about how stressful today’s workload had been, “I’ll wait up for you… make you feel better when you come home,” you’d promised.
The clock on the nightstand glowing 11:49pm. William didn’t blame you for falling asleep. In fact, seeing you sprawled out on his sheets, so vulnerable…
Watching you sleep from the end of the bed he adjusted the tent in his trousers, the fabric straining against the zipper. William, deciding to disregard his arousal for now, perched carefully on the edge of the bed and leaned over you. He ghosted his fingertips over the soft skin of your outer thigh. You were warm underneath his touch.
Coming slightly closer, he dared to increase the contact with your skin. Smoothing his palm up and down your thigh, gently easing your legs open more and more as he went. He sighs at the feeling of your skin on his, touching you alone is enough to send his blood rushing south. William’s eyes are laser focused on the mound between your legs. All he can think of is touching you there, gathering your own arousal on his fingers, tasting you.
William crawls further up the bed towards you, movements reminiscent of a predator stalking its prey. He settles on his knees in between your open legs, resting both of his large hands on your hips and stroking across the hem of your panties that rests on your lower abdomen below your bellybutton.
You shift in your sleep, spreading your legs a little more and letting out a barely intelligible moan. Anyone else would’ve missed it, but William’s ears have become finely attuned to every single one of your little sounds. He runs his thumbs lower, pressing against the soft flesh hidden beneath the cotton. He smirks when he feels you twitch.
“Does that feel good, my little bunny?” voice low and husky.
William traces his middle finger down your clothed slit, a feather-light touch with his eyes locked on your face. His member throbbing inside his trousers when he sees your eyebrows scrunch together.
He smooths his palm against the sensitive flesh of your inner thigh, running it down your leg and stopping at your knee, he gently lifting your leg to prop it up on the bed and hold it there. This new position allowing him even more access to the prize he desires.
William rests his other hand right on top of your mound, thumb pressing, circling against your clit. Goosebumps spread all over your skin and your muscles twitch. While remaining completely asleep, your hips seem to move on their own accord as you press harder against William’s hand.
Your mouth falls open, breathing staggered. He lays down, chest flat against the bed and places a kiss to your core. William slides his thumb down against your covered slit again, lips curling into a grin when he sees your little panties darken in colour right over your entrance. You were wet for him. Becoming desperately aroused in your sleep.
Resuming his motions against your clit, he licks a stripe up and down, already able to taste you through the cotton. You shift and grasp the pillow by your head, the movements catching his attention and filling his chest with pride. With the sheets tangled in your hands you grind down further against the pressure of his tongue and fingers. The most delightful moans spilling from your pretty lips.
The texture of the fabric becomes smoother against William’s tongue, his own saliva mixing with your arousal to saturate it through to the point it clings to every dip and curve of your cunt. His tongue travels upwards to give the same attention to your clit, soaking the fabric there too. He can see the colour of your flesh through the material now.
William grinds his rock-solid cock against the mattress in a desperate attempt to relieve some of the tension. A low growl reverberates through his chest when it isn’t enough. It’s not you.
Placing one last kiss to your swollen clit through the fabric, he slides off the bed momentarily to free himself from the confines of his clothes. William’s throbbing member slaps his stomach as soon as he pulls off his underwear. He feels clammy all of a sudden, wrenching off his tie and shirt to join the other garments disregarded on the ground.
The cool night air caressing his naked, hot skin. He crawls back onto the bed and positions himself right between your legs. Taking his length which was already leaking pre-come in hand, he pumps it to the sight of you before him. Still sleeping soundly, only now more flushed and dishevelled than before.
William slides a thumb over his tip before pressing it right against your clothed cunt, it glides over your slick panties from entrance to clit.
A guttural moan escapes his lips, “fuck…”
He drags it back down, then presses again. Sliding up and down, up and down so deliciously over your slick, soaked panties.
Your hips twitch each time his bulbous head catches your clit, your breathing heavy, soft whimpers escaping your lips, hands twisting and grasping the sheets.
William, emboldened by his lust, grasps one of your thighs in his hand, pulling you down onto his cock as he uses your drenched core for his pleasure. His own breathing laboured as he thrusts against you.
You become acutely aware of your own arousal before you even open your eyes. Chills travel through your body despite feeling burning hot. You moan and attempt to twist your hips, not sure if you’re trying to move yourself away from or towards the stimulation.
When your eyes flicker open, you’re met with the most divine sight. William, breathless and needy, pressing his cock desperately against your cunt. You can’t help but smile.
“Will,” you breathe, reaching towards him.
His eyes snap up to yours. He was too lost in himself to even realise you had finally woken up. He wastes no time and leans down over you, capturing your mouth in a heated, open-mouthed kiss.
His long tongue immediately pressing against yours, teeth clashing as his hand coming from your thigh to hold the side of your face, leaving his other one continue to pressing and grinding his cock against you. William kisses you hard, claiming every inch of your mouth as his. You notice the taste of your own arousal on his tongue, making you wonder just exactly what you had missed while you were unconscious.
The combination of his assault on your lips and stimulation from his cock leave you gasping for air, spreading your legs further for him, letting out a stream of curse words and grasping desperately at his bare shoulders.
William moves down to lick and nibble at your neck, leaving small marks and bruises in his wake. “Feel good baby?”
All you can do is whine and arch your back into his touch, still slightly hazy from the clutches of sleep.
“Need you so bad baby girl… you feel so good, do you see what you do to me?”
William leans back and admires his handywork between your legs. He presses his tip against your entrance, panties still acting as a barrier between your skin. But he can’t bare it anymore.
He slides both thumbs across the slick expanse before slipping them under the fabric. He presses his length underneath the seam of your panties, sliding the tip towards your clit. The movement smooth, he groans again as you press even closer, desperate for the friction to resume.
Looking down to where his cock is resting underneath the material. William’s jaw goes slack, he can see the burning red head of his length is completely visible through your sodden panties. He experimentally slips the tip back and forth over the swollen nub of your clit. A strangled cry escapes your lips, along with William’s name. Your walls clench and your hips stutter.
“Keep still for me honey… fuck.”
He glides back and forth over your slick clit, groaning with every thrust. With your panties holding his member firmly in place, he grips your thighs to pin you down to the bed.
William ruts against you recklessly, completely absorbed in the feeling of his cock sliding back and forth over your well lubricated cunt, completely visible through the fabric of your panties made transparent by your arousal.
He presses the fabric down at the sides with his thumbs, making the space tighter, causing more friction. If there’s one thing William loves more than your body, it’s your underwear. Many a time has he brought himself to climax by stroking his cock with the delicate pieces of fabric, sometimes even sneaking a pair into work in his documents bag. Always on hand to get him through the day.
With the assistance of you, he feels the stress of today melt away. With every thrust against you he climbs higher and higher.
You, writhing on the bed, completely at the mercy of his hips, feel your own orgasm rising closer and closer too. The cries spilling from your lips intensifying.
“You close baby? You gonna come in your panties for me?” William was breathless.
“P-please,” you whine desperately.
“Do you want me to come in your panties too? We can do it together.”
“…m’so close,” your hips stutter and shake, being held in place by his large, rough hands.
He grips you harder and fucks against you with reckless abandon. Towering over you as moans shudder from his mouth, until his hips twitch hard against yours, cock straining inside the fabric of your panties, and he comes hard inside them. William going rigid against you as he comes undone.
With the added pressure and feeling of him twitching against your clit, you arch your back and cry out, your voice cracking with the force. Your own orgasm rips through you, walls spasming and mind going blank as you release right alongside William.
He leans down over you to rest his head against your chest as both of you pant, and twitch, and come down from your highs together.
You finally relax your grip on the poor bedsheets and with aching fingers, run your hand through William’s hair. He sighs contently in your arms, stroking your skin in small circles.
“Sorry I fell asleep,” you whisper.
Both of your bodies shake as he chuckles, “are you kidding?” He asks.
Placing a kiss on your abdomen before sitting back up, he gazes down at you spread out so prettily on his bed.
“Do you see what you do to me?” William shakes his head with another chuckle, “look at the mess we’ve made…” He looks down to where your bodies are still connected, your legs parted, his hands resting on your thighs. You lean up on your elbows to see your once stark white cotton panties now soaked through with both of your come.
William pulls his softening length out from underneath the fabric, resting it on top and smearing his come all over you.
“O-oh…” he moans at the overstimulation, “so pretty for me…” his eyes half closed.
You feel his hand grip your thigh tighter.
It’s going to be a long night.
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popculturebuffet · 2 months
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Batmarch!: BTAS: See No Evil Review
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Hello all you happy batpeople and welcome to batmarch! For the next few weeks expect some caped crusader content same bat whenever I get to it, same bat blog all through march! This fine theme month came about thanks to Kev having a bunch of bat-ideas, me wanting to cover the 89 film for it's anniversary, and it all swirling around till eventually it became a theme month. I want to give bat-credit where it's due after all.
To kick it off we've got a return to what's become a recurring guest on this blog: Batman: The Animated Series. Last time I covered it after the sad loss of Richard Moll, I talked about wanting to cover this episode and when the theme month came up.. well.. I couldn't resisist.
See No Evil is one of my faviorite episodes of Batman the Animated Series and a great showcase of just about everything that makes the series as good as it is: Letting sitcom stars try out something diffrent that shows off their dramatic chops? Check. Awesome animation. Check. A great unique premise masterfully staged in 20 some minutes yup. An intresting and hearbreaking villian? Yupppp. This is one of the most stacked episode sof the series and rewatch only made me find MORE to love about it. And if you haven't heard of this one... your in for a treat. I highly recommend going to watch it first as my review isn't a substitute for the full episode. It is worth a look under the cut to spotlight WHY this episode shines so much.
We open in a little girl's bedroom. Her name is Kimmy and she has a special friend. His name is Mojo
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No not him. He didn't exist yet. No Mojo is an invisible man, and Kimmy is played by future star Elizabeth Moss... who sadly would not escape being stalked by invisible men in high tech suits as an adult, but would get at least another amazing story out of it. Or we would.
Mojo then finds out some news that while he tries his best to hide his reaction from Kimmy, clearly bothers him: Their moving soon and Mojo may not be able to find her.
Before he can give up the game, Mojo disappears when Kimmy, the girl in question,'s mom shows up: Elizabeth, played by the legendary Jean Smart of Designing Women and Hacks royalty. It's neat to see her in a dramatic roll like this, and despite growing up with Desining Women.. I NEVER knew this was her but i'm happy she's here. Elizabeth assumes Mojo is just imaginary.. even though a kicked can and movement in the earlier scene shows not so. Granted while Imaginary Friends are possible in the DCU, it's still at the early point where I get her not going to that: Most of batman's rogues are criminals with gimmicks and what few meta human foes he has are downplayed a bit here in their powers: Ivy isn't at full control plants levels yet, using more toxins and trained plants, Killer Croc just has a skin condition and Clayface.. well okay clayface still counts. But most every day people probably don't know every foes batman's fought and evne if they had don't assume this is one of those situations. I bring this up because after so many damn works where "oh well this can't be real even though superheroes exist" come up, it's refreshing to see one where that's.. actually entirely plausable and you don't feel like the characters an idiot for not knowing this. Most superheroes in this setting hadn't publicly debuted yet and those we know had by this time like Zantanna or Wildcat were either other street level heroes, or in zantanna's case protected by the veil of stage magic.
Mojo's next target is a jewlery exchange.. which has low security for anywhere, especially Gotham: Costumed Crime Captial of the World. I was going to gripe about this scene as Mojo's big plan for having an invisiblity suit.. is to just straight up rob people with it, stealing the jewelery as their brougth out of their cases and basically doing a smash and grab. But I realized something as I wrote this: Mojo being this clunky with his suit.. is deliberate. Mojo is, as we'll find out shortly, is a petty criminal. He dosen't have the need for theatrics Batman's normal rogues have, and he dosen't have the experince to pull off an elaborate heist. Of course he's going to see an invisiblity suit as more of a blunt tool to use rather than the very dangerous and versital one it is.
He's not entirely stupid, he knows how to use it as we see when Batman, who naturally was at the exchange as bruce either on rich person buisness, wayne corp buisness or "oh my god these idiots barely hired any security better be ready" buisness, fights him. Bruce is thrown off as even if he knows from Mojos's crimes t his opponent is cloaked that .. dosen't really help when your cowl dosen't have infared or anything. It just looks dope. And yes later cowls do but this one clearly isn't high tech to the gils like later entries, it's just dope as fuck. Batman does do the obvious when fighting an invisible opponent: Spill shit on them, in this case plot convience paint... but whoever built Mojo's suit thought of that or Mojo himself did as he has a setting to melt it off, a clever subversion of the usual tactics that gets batman a batassbeating. And that again shows Lloyd's style: even though we don't know exactly what he went away for, his style is all smash and grab: blunt force. He only beats the more experinceed combatant bruce in one on one. .because Bruce can't see him and dosen't hav etime to listen closely.. and even if he did it'd be too late. It's what makes "Some guy what got an invisible suit" work as a batman villian: Yes he's not as flashy and yes he has a simple gimmick.. but sometims all you need is a simple power. It's something I never thought about before but most of batman's clever gadgets.. are sight based. Even the gas bomb would only be mildly useful at figuring out WHERE he might be and with a full face mask, it woudln't do any actual damage, while Lloyd could pull down batman's gas mask and make him go sleepy bye. Batman.. isn't invincible and his stories are at their best when the writers remember that.
Mojo slinks back to his place and we get the shocking reveal that he's...
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A guy who looks like a human ventriquist dummy? Did Slappy finally become human and end up fighting batman? Because i'd pay good money for that instalment of goosebumps, just saying.
No this.. objectively weird looking man is Lloyd Ventrix aka Kimmy's Dad. As a kid I found the idea of mojo creepy.. as an adult I find it deeply unerving. Part of this is having a passle of nieces and nephews, so the idea of an unstable man, let alone one the parent dosen't want seeing thier kids, sneaking to see them in a way their unaware of and that the kid impliclity trusts is fucking terrifyign. Part of it is just the idea of a person your trying to escape being able to find you and do whatever he pleases no matter how far you run is fucking horrifying. It's why the 2020 invisible man film is so good.. and so terrifying I haven't watched it since I saw it theatrically. It is a LOT on the nerves. It's also why both can coexist as this episode captalized on a different kind of fear: instead of an abusive ex, it's an abusive ex spouse who you are COMPELTELY unaware is contacting your kid till it's too late.
It's also what brilliantly creates the episodes tension: by the first commerical break WE know who this invisible man is to a point and what he wants, but not HOW he got invsible, or if Batman can solve the mystery of the how and who in time to get to Llloyd before he kidnaps Kimmie.
Before we move on i'd like to spotlight Lloyd's voice actor: While I always loved the performance here I didn't know the man behind the invsible man until this review.. and it was a nice reveal too: Michael Gross of Tremors and Family Ties fame. It's the latter that helps this role as in his scenes as "Mojo", Lloyd has that same kind warmth Gross had on Family Ties as Steven.. when he wasn't comically breaking down or reacting to his children's shenanigans. And that.. makes it ten times creepier coming from someone whose activley manipuating and stalking a child.
Not only that he transitions well to Lloyd in the rest of his life, wether it's his cockiness ast his power when fighting batman or his assuredness when trying to win back elizabeth, which we'll get to in a second. It's a brilliant performance that makes me wish he could've come back or they'd brought him back in another roll: Gross is just damn good portraying a man whose determined to get what he thinks he's owed no matter what it takes.. but can't understand WHY no one wants him around.
Case in point, that trying to win back his ex wife thing. He shows up at her work, and his defense to his wife understandably not wanting anything to do with him isn't "i'm changing as a person I just want a chance ot see my kid" or "I know I screwed up and you have every reason not to listen to me but hear me out" You know stuff that shows your contrite and genuinely reformed. Instead Lloyd shows he learned nothing from prison a his only response is "I got why you needed the restraining order when I was a bum but i'm bigger now". Yes really. Elizabeth tells him to shove it and stay way from his daughter then to just "disappear" unfortunately for her she's in a horror story and said something tragically ironic.
The good news is she's also in a batman story and thanks to plot convience turns out the inventor of the cloak of invsiblity pitched it to them last year, and he has his tech guy bring up the info on the man's assitant.
Batman decides rather than talk to said assitant, who could be the invisible man, to .. rifle thorugh the guys cabinets
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Naturally when the man hears Batman bat rifling through his shit, he tries to throw a rack on him.. and batman's response to this entirely resonable reaction is
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Gee your just.. so likeable bruce. Thankfully he does actually stop when the guy makes it clear he was here the last few days. And look jokes aside I get bruce dosen't know if this guy did it.. but there are more subtle ways to deal with this shit or someone understandably thinking your trying to rob them than the bat fist. There are better uses for the bat fist. And yes I meant that sexually, I will not be taking questions.
The Science Man explains that he's actually destroying all the fabric. Turns out while he was able to make it turn stuff invsible it's highly toxic. He was trying to correct that problem but coudln't, so he's destroying it. And i'm baffled why there was an entry on tv tropes saying "Well why can't he use it on cars" as we see it used. And to this I say this guy is picking up his old mentor's work, probably sunk a lot of money into remaking this and testing it, and has had some time to do so. If he COUDL salvage this project he would've.
Turns out Floyd was their old assitant though in a pompus way Science Man says he was "really more of an errand boy". Gee I can't imagine why he stole from you. Such a puzzler.
At any rate this slightly douchey science man has given Batman all he needs and he goes to talk to Elizabeth. To Bruce's credit his prorities are in order: he wants to save Lloyd from dying rather than get the jewels back.. I mean he will, he's the goddamn batman, but he'll save the guy who stole them first. Maybe punch him a bit.
Elizabeth connects the dots about the invsiblity suit and mojo.. but Lloyd's already one step ahead as during this scene he's been talking about taking kimmy to a special place
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She does as he takes her to a drive in theater nearbye and plans to take her away but she dosen't want to get into a car with an invisible man. So he takes the mask off.. and credit to Kimmy she instantly realizes "Shit this wasn't my imaginary friend". I mean granted it probably wouldn't be BETTER if it was
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Fun fact: I did not realize this was coming out the same week as this review. Dates are fun
Anyway, Kimmy realizes it's not just her imagination and won't run away with him, so he reveals himself as her father.. and her reaction is not what he expected
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Yeah it turns out Elizabeth isn't stupid and it's something I love about the episode: Elizabeth didn't make that mistake you see in 87 percent of tv parents who don't trust their shady ex. She TOLD kimmy about him. She didn't hide it, she didn't try to keep ti as some dark secret so he can manipulate it later: She just told her in terms a kid would understand: her dad is a bad man and should not be trusted. Granted the fact he looks like if archie andrews became a vampire should tell her that but the point stands.
This is also the great tragedy of Lloyd Ventrix: he wants his family back.. but he can never understand WHY they don't want him back. Floyd could've worked his way back to his daughter by staying clean after prison, staying at his job, finding another if he didn't work for Errand Boy Man, which is a fair thing not to want. Am I saying it would've been remotely easy? No, our country isn't set up to help ex-cons and treats them like pariahs, like every former prisoner is lloyd when some genuinely want to change and others were victims of circumstance. But he could've had his daughter back or at least a CHANCE at it had he genuinely tried. Elizabeth is reasonable, while she wouldn't want him around the guy she'd at least give him a chance to see kimmy if it was shown he really changed.
That's the rub though: Lloyd dosen't WANT to change. He's a smash and grab guy and that's who he wants to be. It's in most things he does: He has an invsible suit.. yet uses it for smash and grabs and his fighting style when fighting the bat is hit him with a blunt insturment. or maybe it's more of an object. But i'ts blunt hard and blunt. He says he's not a two bit hood when talking to elizabeth.. but that's relaly ALL he is. He could've conquered the gotham mafia, conquered the city, or even gone the other way and became a hero himself, fighting to make the city better. He has all this power.. but he still thinks in terms of "how can I smash this thing in my way" "what can I grab". He's emotinally and creatively empty.. and thus he can't understand why Kimmy won't accept him just for being her dad.
As a production note, the only one I have for this episode Kimmy was SUPPOSED to be in the final chase scene for a bit, but standards and practices were like
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Because a child's lost criminal father pretending to be her best friend and her being in danger every time he's in the room? That's fine. But oh no she can't have a car chase.
So Kimmy runs home to her mom and Batman and Llloyd begin tussling, with Lloyd turning the car invsible with him and a passerby assuming batman can fly now which.. is fair. I'm suprised he dosen't have a bat jet pack.. wait did he have a bat jet pack? Questions for later
Bruce takes another beating, begging lloyd to consider but it's clear he's drunk on his own power and we see while he's a blunt intersturment/object/whatever he is it's hard and blunt, he gets this suit means no matter where Elizabeth and Kimmy go they'll neve rbe safe. Thankfully for him Lloyd made the mistake of fighting batman on a water tower and Batman's able to douse him, shorting out the suit. It's a clever set up: While water is also a common invsiible man fighting tool, when explaning how it worse it runs on an electric currrent. It's probably why it has the dohicky to steam stuff off.. but LLoyd can't get rid of that much water and he's out
The ending is masterful as we get a repeat of the opening scene: Kimmy is once again talking to a special friend, telling him that their move is final and Lloyd will never find her again. The vistor exits.. but thankfully it was batman, and we get a nice echo of the first scene: this time instead of playing it off.. elizabeth's relieved. Kimmy lost an imaginary friend, lost a father.. but gained a batman.
See No Evil is excellent and highly underated: It's a tense tightly packed 20 minutes with a nice twist on the usual batman detective formula the show uses: we know WHO did it but it's all about HOW and if Batman can find out in time. Smart and Gross are fantastic in this and it results in a tense, eerie little tale packed with tension. It's 22 minutes of perfection and worth checking out if you have max.
Thanks for reading and i'll see you some bat time, same bat blog.
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This is from a hypnotic show of the 90s. During this episode a famous British hypnotist calls a member of the audience on stage. The subject introduces himself. His name is Jacob and he is a truck driver. The hypnotist challenges the man to stay awake as if he was driving his truck. Jacob replies that's he is used to driving all day long and he has never closed his eyes at work for more than one second. He stayed awake during a 20hour shift so he thinks this will be a piece of cake for him. At first, the hypnotist tells Jacob to concentrate on a specific hypnotizing spiral on the wall. The subject gets mesmerized at first glance. After a whole minute of loud hypnotic music and hypnotic commands Jacob's mind finally subcums as he becomes a fully obedient subject ready to to follow his master's commands. Maybe he can resisist dozing off behind the wheel but hypnotic trance is in fact irresistible
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pleckthaniel · 2 years
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successfully resisisting the urge to tag everything i reblog this month 'happy pride'
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olympusrox · 2 years
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i have longish nails and my lesbian ass friend saw them and was like "y tf r urs so long" and i was like "theyre not that long" and she showed me hers which were practically nonexistent and i had to resisist the temptation to yell "TOP"
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Animal rescue videos CANNOT resisist putting perfect by ed sheeran as the backgrpund music
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zoeserendipity · 8 months
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Sterling Silver Triple Interlocked Rings.
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yuristarwars · 2 years
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Something I feel like the Sequel Trilogy really failed hard, was the characters.
The main three and Kylo had so much potential to be good characters, but they simply never did anything with them. Finn could have been a Stormtrooper Revolutionary. Rey could’ve actually found herself and accepted the fact that she came from nothing, from nobodies, and became a Jedi anyways. Poe Dameron could’ve made an amazing Resisistance leader that struggled with filling the shoes of the likes of Leia and Han. Kylo could’ve had an ACTUAL Redemption Arc or solidified himself as a great villain that chose The Dark Side, directly mirroring his Grandfather’s choice of choosing the light side.
They never did this.
I disagree with so many fans that are like “It would’ve been better if Thrawn/Boba Fett/Ahsoka/Anakin’s Ghost showed up” I don’t think fan service could’ve fixed this, I simply think good writing and directing could’ve. There were a million different storylines they could’ve run with, yet they ran with the most empty and predictable. Finn didn’t even have a character arc in the 3rd movie! He was COMPLETELY Sidelined in a way that no ither character that was a member of the main three have.
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dswcp · 3 years
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This week's theme: Siblings!
Rose and Paige Tico are the most important pair of sisters in Star Wars. I love fictional siblings of all kinds, but in real life I only have sisters, so I especially appreciate sister relationships. My sister and I even wear the Tico family pendants all the time. Though the girls are tragically torn apart in the movie, several comics and books show their sweet, loving past together. More of this please, Star Wars!
“Age of Resistance: Rose Tico.” Marvel. September 18, 2019. Writer: Tom Taylor. Penciller and Inker: Ramon Rosanas. Letterer: Travis Lanham. Colorist: Guru-eFX.
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perloj · 3 years
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left-field storytime
here’s a little anecdote from last October, at my first training day for a call-centre job i’ve been doing from home while the Library is closed. i’ve been thinking about it recently, so here it is…
we were going around the room and introducing ourselves: name and rank, you know the drill. but it was clear from how the first person (one of the bosses) introduced herself that PREFERRED PRONOUNS were meant to be part of the introduction.
by the time they got to me, we were about halfway done and everyone had tacked on obvious pronouns, many of them reluctantly or as an afterthought. (there were no trans people in the room, and apparently no “they”s, either.) i didn’t do it, of course. i never do. it’s one of my hills. after i went, staring defiantly during the awkward space where my pronouns should have been, i noticed there were a couple others who didn’t do it. one of them was the only male in the room, and a little bit older than me — but i think there was another female who skipped it.
did i give them permission? i like to think so. i remember thinking, before they got to me, that surely someone wouldn’t do it. i mean, this wasn’t a room full of whippersnappers: i’m guessing the median age was mine — or maybe 5 years younger than me. (i’m in my late 40s.) but they all did. so, it became even more important for me not to. it was one of those awkward yet inspiring moments. one does what one can.
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natolesims · 2 years
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Low was out for two full weeks, so it’s no surprise his house got really dusty. He lives in a desert, what would one expect?
This gentle giant couldn’t resisist the cuteness of a dust bunny the dog found under the table. Meet Tumbleweed, the official source of income of this household.
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alleneedwards · 4 years
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shippercat · 3 years
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stil shocked that i actually got suck into mcyt but i shouldve known i grew up with the captain and skydoesminecraft
plus a good portion of my middle school was binging the achievement hunter minecraft series
love how at first i started casually watching the dream team due to the nr beast duel then when i started watching techno more i fell into the sbi rabbit hole
i think thats why i probably would always prefer sbi as a family dynamic
even though im really liking war buddies philza and techno the sbi fd au has such a special place in my heart
tbh just the sbi interactions away from the dsmp is one of my favourite things in the world rn
its different from the dteam or idots (are they still a thing btw :"3) cause to.me the sbis feel more homey
theyre all legit my comfort streamers and im glad i finally stopped resisisting hopping onto the mcyt bandwagon
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davidshawnsown · 3 years
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USA Baseball RPF: WW2 AU - Bridge Battle (Chapter 2)
(AN: IRL the long steel suspension bridge at San Marcello Pistoise, which marks its centenary in 2023 and was once the longest in the world of its kind by the time it was opened to the public, has a single pedestrian walkway for those crossing the Lima River from opposite directions, but what if that footbridge is wider enough for a number of people to cross?)
2215h, POPIGLIO
Now that the plan to liberate San Marcello Pistoise was set, the company XO, Captain Frazier, by then newly promoted from being a 1st Lieutenant, spoke to the men of the 1st and 2nd platoons regarding the battle for the bridge:
"Men of Able Company's 1st and 2nd platoons, this enormous task of crossing the footbridge above the Lima River in the slopes of the Apennines, this job has been given to us the men of the 1st and 2nd platoons as the third platoon has been assigned to attack the village of Mammiano from the south thru a small dam which will be captured. You know how much difficult this job is for us, the brave soldiers of the United States, to capture town after town to break the hold of the Gothic Line and open the roads north. Being one of the first amongst the units of the armed forces to approach to the Gothic Line in five months, we need to fire those first shots, and break those defenses, so that the Allies will surely advance thru the mountain passes to Bolgona, Modena and beyond. As a humble kid from Toms River who never dreamed to be in war, now's the time for us to show our strength as a nation, by being one of the first to break through the Gothic Line and to silence the guns that have been firing on the men of the Allied units for months. Captain Tulo and I, together with most of my fellow officers of the company and the platoons taking part in the attack, are determined, together, to win this battle and help pierce that defensive line once and for all, even at our lives' cost. As you know, intel has learned that the bridge has suffered from the Allied boming last fall targeted at Kesseling's headquarters, as well as at the German garrison full of a detachment of Waffen SS, who have been in these past weeks engaged in murder after murder of civilians for alleged links with the Italian resistance, together with some from the Army, who have already garrisoned the other end of this bridge with machine guns. It's steel walkways have been broken at some spots, as well as some of the raillings, I guess. I allege that the German defenders, as well as personnel of a company of Alpini from the Salo Army, are dismantling the bridge, but we're determined to cross it at all costs, even if some of us will fall to the river and die. That's why there's a platoon of engineers who will be following after us, together with Dog Company of the 1st Battalion 473rd, who will be providing cover for them as they lay a temporary wooden walkway above the damaged steel one that will be of use for the quick passage of Allied troops, ammunition and medical supplies while this bridge will be for repairs. Of course there will be machine gun and mortar fire directed at the defenders in Mammiano, where 3rd Platoon will be assigned to wipe out any resisistance after we cross the bridge, as well as cannon fire at the entrenched Italo-German defenses and artillery in the town proper and beyond, which is our main objective after crossing the bridge in support of Operation Encore. That town is also heavily defended by Bersagileri and a company of Blackshirts of the National Republican Guard and some Brigata Nere who are determined to wipe all of us out, even with the incoming support from the other Allied units and the partisans. Lads, LTCOL Scoiscia and the battalion staff are confident that we'll finish this mission, and win victory for the American people and for all the peoples of the world and help defeat Mussolini's forces. After months of our forces stuck in the valleys, the time has come to strike at the mountain defenses of the Axis and break that line open, once and for all. With all of our might and spirit, we'll be one of the first to break that goddamn line, understand?"
"Sir yes sir!"
Then, Captains Frazier and Tulowitzki called for 2nd Lieutenant Alvarez and SSGT Allen regarding the national flag. CPT Frazier said: "I entrust to you, Staff Sergeant Allen, the duty of carrying the flag as the first to fly it over the Gothic Line, a sign that it is about to break open and the Allied offensive in Italy is about to push through again. Carry it even with your life's risk, the pride of the nation depends on it. Lieutenant Alvarez, protect Sergeant Allen, and ensure the flag flies over the town hall of San Marcello Pistoise tomorrow in triumph. Is it clear?"
The two responded affirmatively. The young lieutenant Alvarez replied: "Captain, having been privilleged to carry the color while at OCS it is now my duty to escort Sergeant Allen and help him raise this flag in victory in this town. I'm certain the two of us are ready to sacrifice our lives for our country and the Allied cause. Sergeant Allen will now speak up, sir". The sergeant then informed his company executive officer:"Captain Frazier, we've waited days, and now that our first combat action in weeks is upon us, I'm ready to die for the country and our people."
1LT Jackson then said to Captain Frazier: "Captain, even as it's been months since I was comissioned from the enlisted ranks as an officer of the Army, it is my deep honor to take part in the operation to seize the footbridge of San Marcello, for the honor and glory of our nation." Captain Frazier responded, "What greater honor indeed. It's on our shoulders that most of the company is about to capture that bridge tomorrow. You are coming with me and most of the officers as the first to cross the bridge to San Marcello Pistoise, and at the cost of all our lives are determined to break that Gothic Line."
1LT Robertson, knowing the hard mission he and the company had to do to begin the advance over communities on the Gothic Line, said: "Captain Frazier, if this would be our last day, our deaths, sir, will surely inflame the hearts of the American people to defeat the Nazis. We must cross the bridge at all costs, and win that town so that the defensive lines will be broken and our forces advance. It has been a pleasure to serve as adjutant of Able Company and tomorrow, I shall be beside you and Captain Troy as we cross it together. If those damn German artillery guns fire straight at us in the bridge and it collapes, I'm telling you, Captain, that we are all determined to die fighting, with our uniforms on and the flag of our country in our hearts, going down as one. But if we cross this, sir, we will begin to break that goddamn Gothic Line." The XO responded: "Lieutenant Robinson, I feel what you feel. Any time from now we will all be dead or alive, but the nation needs us fighting. I'm glad you're going as well and to be at the head of the column crossing that bridge, and together we will punch the Gothic Line from the south."
Next up was the young 1LT Austin, the officer with roots in Georgia, where Jim Crow laws were the norm against African Americans. Before he could speak up an orderly rushed to the ranks of the men to inform Captain Tulowitzki of word from battalion intelligence under Major Avery. The partisan agents had informed the battalion that there has been a battalion of Waffen SS from the 16th Panzergrandier Division's 2nd Battalion, 35th Panzergrenadier Regiment, together with four Wehrmacht companies belonging to the 3rd battalion of 165th Grenadier Regiment under the the 65th Panzergrenadier Division, most of them garrisoned in the town and some personnel assigned to help the National Army secure the villages north of San Marcello Pistoise and the towns north of it that are part of the Gothic Line defenses, which included artillery batteries of light and heavy guns from the 65th's divisional artillery made up of the 1st battalion of the 165th Artillery Regiment and one Waffen SS battery from the 16th. Apparently a company of machine gunners from the National Army are stationed at the east end of the footbridge defending Mammiano, as well as two platoons of the Brigada Nere. To ensure the success of the operation, intel had recommended to the battalion for a revised battle plan which meant that Charlie Company 1/473rd was recommended to be sent to the village to reinforce a partisan attack, while the 3rd and 4th Platoons of Able Company will join the main forces of the company at the bridge and towards the town's west. These two platoons were, just as the rest of the company also full of battle replacements, both new recruits now promoted and experienced soldiers who served in central Italy. Thus the battalion had recommended that Able Company's rifle platoons were set to attack the bridge and capture the eastern end and the walkway while the heavy weapons platoon would fire machine gun, mortar and pack gun fire at the defenders at Mammiamo, while being asked to spare the fruits factory and the logistics warehouse in the southeast from arms fire as they were coordinated with the personnel of the battalion's heavy weapons company set to be deployed to the western end and after the wooden walkway had been place the mortar and machine gun crews will advance with the company while the pack gun crews will head north to join Baker Company and help silence any Axis field artillery remaining. The orderly had by now informed Captain Tulowitzki that the company had been ordered to implement the revised plan, even if it meant facing a WHOLE lot of Italians and Germans armed and ready, while giving the remainder of the companies time to wipe out any Italo-German resistance in tandem with partisan formations and to silence the artillery guns in coordination with the artillery and air assets from the Army Air Forces. With a heavy heart the Captain agreed to the new plan, knowing that the company would have to work harder as one unit to defeat the German-Italian forces stationed in the bridge's eastern end and move towards their targets.
It meant that the 3rd platoon, under the command of 1LT Bohm, would be deployed to help the company take the bridge while also taking in the extra personnel needed for 1st platoon's role in the capture of the bridgehead, while the 4th platoon under 2LT Bailey provided rear support. The extra personnel from 1st Platoon and Battalion HQ were:
1LT Jay (Assigned on secondment from Battalion HQ)
1LT Kemp
2LT Forstyhe
2LT Johnson
SSGT Liberatore
SSGT Sherfy
SSGT Wieters
SGT Bailey
SGT Williams
CPL Lane
CPL Rzpeczynski
PFC Bowlan
PFC Johnson
Together with the 25 men earlier assigned and Captain Tulowitzki the company commander, the advance force now was at 41 men together with MAJ Fenster, by now assigned to company HQ on secondment, and these were to be the men tasked to lead the company's advance over the Lima River and the seizure of the footbridge. The 13 surplus men were ordered to be assigned with now newly promoted Captain Frazier.
3rd platoon of Able Company was made up of:
1LT Bohm, platoon commander
1LT Adell, platoon second in command
1LT Seabold (newly promoted)
2LT Varsho
2LT Dalbec
SSGT Houck
SSGT Thelbar
SSGT Feyereisen
SSGT Flynn
SGT Dunshee
SGT Waters
SGT Tillo
SGT Mills
SGT Chatham
CPL Cronenworth
CPL Song
CPL Richard
CPL Rooker
CPL Edwards
CPL Johnson
CPL Vaughn
PFC Pounders
PFC Dunshee
PFC Howard
PFC Andrews
4th Platoon was made up of the following:
2LT Bailey, platoon commander (being considered to be promoted to 1LT)
2LT Meyer, platoon 2IC
2LT Waddell
2LT Brown
SSGT Torkellson
SSGT McMahon
SSGT Frasso
SSGT Loftin
SGT Foscue
SGT Martin
SGT Allen
SGT Cavalli
SGT Burleson
CPL Abbott
CPL Detmers
CPT Criswell
CPL Callaway
CPL Mitchell
CPL Williams
CPL Allen
CPL McMahon
CPL Optiz
PFC Lacy
PFC Wilcox
PFC Cowser
PFC Kjerstad
PFC Nikhazy
Assigned to the platoon was TSGT Skole from the battalion HQ. LTCOL McDonnell from regimental HQ was command representative together with MAJ Kingston and MSGT Moore, both from battalion HQ.
The two platoons were tasked to be the rear of the attack force on the footbridge by the time the operation would begin while the 1st and 2nd platoons were the main forces at the head of the attack. With their new duty now set, the 3rd and 4th platoons began to gather with the rest of the company and the heavy weapons platoon that night. Their platoon leaders then met Captains Frazier and Tulowitzki together with the rest of the personnel of these units. The commanders having saluted, they then took time to introduce themselves again.
"1st Lieutenant Bohm from Omaha, Nebraska, reporting, sir. 3rd platoon is ready for the operation. We would have a word with you later, Captain Frazier."
"2nd Lieutenant Bailey from Greensboro, North Carolina, reporting for duty, sir. The men of 4th platoon are prepared to cross the Lima river."
After the two officers had introduced themselves to their company commanders, 1LT Bohm handed the captain a letter from Major General Torre, one of the general officers in the staff of the Allied command in Italy under LTGEN Mark Clark. This was regarding the fact that the operation at San Marcello Pistoise (both for the bridge and the capture of the town) was the first for a application in the company level of a novel approach by Undersecretary Manfred, following recommendations made by now retired Undesecretary Selig, himself a Great War veteran and approved by Secretary Stimson for implementation in the Army and Army National Guard formations forward deployed in Western Europe and in the Asia-Pacific. This was regarding the formation of vanguard platoons made up of 24 to 40 servicemen in lead companies of the battalions of regiments of infantry (including airborne) and armored infantry in the Army and the Army National Guard, made up of veterans of past battles, to give unexperienced units some real combat experience, an idea that LTGEN Lasorda formulated with prior service in the National Army's territorial infantry and in training drills with the state defense forces. This was tested before in North Africa in 1943, following the example of the FSSF and the British Army's Long Range Desert Group but in trial runs, and was adopted provisionally in the Rangers in '43 but with all personnel being new recruits for Operation Husky (and later on the reconnisance troops of US Army divisions). In the line infantry, both in France and Italy alike (and later in Belgium and the Netherlands), many of the divisions later adopted the new form, but not in the 82nd and 101st, given their elite status as airborne soldiers, only armored infantry units adopted the tactic with modifications due to their role as mechanized and motorized forces. Thus the 473rd would be the first RCT of the regular Army in Western Europe to test the format but as a vanguard company rather than platoon for operations of great importance, whether be conventional or non-coventional warfare, matching those of the elite airborne and special forces.
The idea was conceptualized by now LTCOL Borders, who was the first to use the idea with his boys assisted by now Major Burroughs of the Army National Guard during the Guadalcanal Campaign in the fall of 1942, when the two led an adhoc 24-man team from a number of Army and Army NG units to help reinforce Henderson Field and keep the defenses intact. This followed the successful tests of the practice which began in earness as early as 1938 with the first platoon under now COL Larkin as a test formation of personnel of Army formations of the Army Reserve and the SDFs, then with a second in 1941 under then 1LT Martinez, now a Colonel, for implementation for the National Army and a third in 1942 under now Colonel Hinch for the regular Army itself before the provisional platoon was raised under now BGEN Johnson, then a lieutenant colonel. Not a single man of the team was KIA (especially during the Battle of Henderson Field in October of '42) and the tactic worked, and they were transferred to Australia to train Army personnel for the test formations of 24-man battle platoons for operations in the Pacific before returning to the US to share their experience for adoption in the wider Army. The territorial regiments of infantry of the National Army widely adopted the practice, as well as the Army Reserve, and thus it was personnel from these units, which were deployed with the regular army, that provided the output of all they learned.
These 24-man platoons, with establishment raised to 40 when needed, would be a mix of riflemen, carbine soldiers and submachine gunners, with a machine gun team either organic or assigned on secondment but no organic mortar teams, since the mortar support was to be provided by the heavy weapons platoon of the leading company (especially in the 1st battalions of infantry regiments regardless of their foundation), with squads organized either as sharpshooters, supporting fire and/or direct fire teams. In this new provisional formation, the leading company - in that case Able Company 1/473rd - was to be a self-sufficient formation compatible to the Army's special units planned to be followed up with similar formations in the 1st battalions of newly raised regiments of infantry or as reinforced companies of the leading battalions in older infantry regiments (both in the regular Army proper and the National Guard), with the company heavy weapons platoon being assigned a larger establishment of 80 for provisions for more mortars and machine guns, while the rifle platoons (4 to 5 each) would choose to have organic machine gun teams or not depending on the circumstances of the operation in addition to a team or two of two personnel each trained in the M9A1 bazooka system, with one loader and one ammo carrier, also if needed to reinforce the combat effectiveness of the company. That new approach would make it almost self-sufficient for acting on its on accord for conventional or unconventional operations, even with the help of the other companies of the battalion it was assigned to. The heavy weapons company of the battalion, together with with the infantry gun battery of the battalion with pack guns, continued to provide combat supporting fire, including for urban operations and for operations in various types of terrain like mountains, river valleys and plains, as well as against any enemy defenses and armor.
Able Company 1/473rd was to be the first to implement this as a company made up of both transferred veteran soldiers and new recruits from all corners of the country. What Selig did in proposing that said company would be multiracial instead of the separate companies for African American servicemen, as it was in the practice then in the rest of the Army, was actually the formal response to a letter made by now retired LTGEN Rickey, honorary regimental coronel of the infantry regiment assigned to Brooklyn in New York City under the National Army that due to the ongoing war personnel of that unit had been transferred to Los Angeles to form an ad-hoc platoon to reinforce local units, formerly the commander of a regiment of infantry in St. Louis, to ensure that the armed forces be the image of a nation united, despite racial backgrounds, against the Axis Powers and even outsmarting the British and Soviet policies in forming separate racial formations, and even the US practice of that time, by forming a trial multiethnic and multiracial unit reflecting the diversity of the nation's peoples. He tried that when a recently transfered serviceman of one of the regular Army's tank battalions, a rising 1LT, was proposed to be the first African American officer in his regiment in 1944 in the National Army, forcing the War Department to begin phrasing in the racial integration of the Army's combat and combat support formations, including elements of the Army Air Forces, with the Department of the Navy planning to follow suit (the Alamo and Alakan Scouts having previously been partially integrated with servicemen of Native American origin and backgrounds). That officer, 1LT Robinson, was appointed 1st platoon commaner of the 1st battalion of said Brooklyn regiment that was majority based of workers of the streetcar, fishery and shipbuilding industries (the streetcar workers being the reason why the servicemen of that regiment had been dubbed as the "Dodgers", due to the background of their service occupation as drivers and crews of these public transport vehicles and not of avoiding the draft) under company commander Captain Reese and company XO 1LT Snider, just as the regiment began to adopt the new formations provisionally for its 1st Battalion for future overseas operations outside the US mainland should the need arise in the future.
Thus it was neccessary that this new unit be the first regular Army company of infantry fully racially integrated made up of personnel from various Army units regardless of racial origins, which would give the 92nd the fighting power it badly needed even more and making the 473rd the pilot unit for the implementation of the gradual racial integration of personnel in the regular Army, a proposal that COL William P. Yarborough, the regiment's commanding officer, accepted over the pressure of MGEN Armond despite his hatred of blacks in service in the division, for if this will be a success it will be implemented first in company level in a number of regiments that had been majority white in the infantry and would be a permanent formation regardless of the regiment it would be deployed with as a preview of any future operations by US forces, either as a company or as part of the whole battalion it would be deployed with. This fact was stated in the letter Lieutenant Bohm sent to Captain Frazier.
But it was not just the approval of the regiment not just of racial integration but also of the pilot implementation of the vanguard company strategy for infantry regiments sans the airborne and Rangers, but another radical plan that had the backing of LTGEN Torre that General Clark approved that had been stated in the letter: the plan of making Able Company 1/473rd stronger with the addition of an additional rifle platoon, making it 6 platoons rather than the four of normal rifle companies together with the HQ platoon and the seconded officers and NCOs for a total of 5 rifle platoons and one heavy weapons platoon, plus personnel assigned to it. That 5th platoon would be made up of veterans of the Battle of the Bulge and the earlier Operation Market Garden, and General Eisenhower, as Supreme Allied Commander Europe, had approved of the transfer of these personnel from a number of infantry regiments to his counterpart in the Mediterranean, Field Marshal Sir Harold Alexander, thru his 2IC LTGEN McNarney, with the 473rd as the intended new unit under its 1st Battalion under LTCOL Scioscia's command for these transferred soldiers. 1LT Crawford of the 30th Infantry Division, a veteran of the Battle of the Bulge, was eyed as platoon leader, a decision his former superior officer, now Colonel Leyland, agreed. The Colonel was now part of the 92nd Infantry Division staff and was, by virtue of being the officer of which Crawford's platoon was trained under and fought in Western Europe, now a command representative for the operation, with 1LT McCutchen as Crawford's deputy serving as platoon second in command. One of the men had previouly served in Italy as part of the Allied forces in Pisa, the rest were in the integrated platoons in Western Europe or as in the case of the African Americans, formerly part of separate units before being joined with their fellow servicemen. The addition of another platoon was much needed in order to fulfill the planned formation of the Army's first ever racially integrated company in a regiment of infantry under the novel approach of vanguard or advanced combat units now at a company level, making it very effective either on its own or with other companies in the battalion. The rationale behind this bold plan to raise a new permanent platoon to bring the company to six platoons instead of four was because of the strong defenses of the Axis across the long Gothic Line, in particular the communities on the Appennines that are a part of it, which needed to be captured by Allied forces in order to finally break the line for good. That operation would be the first under this new strategy, and LTCOL Scoscia's blessing was granted to this initiative, hoping that the transferred personnel, under Captain Tulowitzki's mentorship and guidance and the experience of the new XO, Captain Frazier, would prove to be a success in the battlefield as part of the company they were about to join from their previous assignments.
The new 5th platoon would be reporting the next day to Captains Tulowitzki and Frazier and would serve as the backup to the 1st and 2nd platoons while the 3rd and 4th was to be in the rear. With Captain Frazier now assigned as XO, LTGEN Torre recommended that 1LT Austin now take over his place as first platoon leader with 1LT Jackson retained as second in command, but for the purpose of the operation at the bridge and the town proper the captain would have to take personal command of the platoon, which would be the first to strike at the German and Italian garrison of San Marcello Pistoise with their attack on the footbridge, with Captain Tulowitzki, the company CO, and Major Fenster from Battalion HQ together with them alongside TSGT Payton the command signalman operating the walkie talkie all assigned to the platoon, while Captain Tulowitzki remained in overall command of the company and 1LT Robertson retained as company adjutant. Given that the lieutenant had also served as the founding platoon adjutant of 1st Platoon when the regimental combat team was raised in the winter of 1945, 1LT Alvarez was appointed the new platoon adjutant, ready to assist Austin and Jackson, thereby relieving Robertson of his extra duties. The letter ended with MGEN Torre's wishes of good luck to the boys of the company for this great undertaking that will bring a new approach to defeating the Axis in Italy, that would also help bring the battle to a whole new level.
Attached to the letter was the final composition of the new 5th rifle platoon, with the men carefully chosen by LTGEN Bradley to be transferred to Italy to form the 5th platoon of A Company 1/473rd, with General Eisenhower approving it as per the written telegram of Undersecretary Manfred. They were already in Florence, as written in a footnote below the list, and were about to be driven to Popiglio by trucks tomorrow. Before that they arrived in Reims in France from their respective individual regiments in Germany and the Low Countries for rest and training work before leaving for Rome via plane by way of Paris, after which they left for Florence where representatives of the Alled Force Headquarters and the 15th Army Group were both present for their final training. The names of the men who formed the new platoon were known to some of the men, who served at home before being deployed to western Europe and the transfer to central Italy in late 1944 to boster Allied forces stationed there.
@joeybosa-aaronjudge @lightninging @homerofthebraves @dilangleywritesfanfic
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fleuramelie · 3 years
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Despersonalización basta.
El tlp duele, duelen esas duchas a las 4 de la mañana dejando caer el agua y tus lágrimas sobre tu cuerpo desnudo, duele ese despertar temblando completamente y con el pecho tan apretado por la angustia que sientes que en cualquier momento dejaras de respirar y te desmayaras, duele la incomprensión de los demás cuando expulsa un llanto de lo más profundo de tu ser y no eres capaz de vervalizar lo sucede en tu interior. Es una lucha diaria, un desgaste mental que hace que cuando por fin sea hora de dormir te tomes tus pastillas con un suspiro de por fin un día menos, un día más de vida, un día donde resisiste y no te suicidaste. Duele esa desesperación de querer arrancarte la piel del cuerpo, saber que no puedes, pescar una navaja y cortar tu piel, suspirar de alivio cuando sientes tu piel abrirse y la sangre correr, por fin la desesperación se fue, pero sólo dura unos segundos pues el sentimiento de culpa te inunda, una cicatriz más, una caída más. Relacionarte amorosamente es lo mas complicado, sientes todo con tanta intensidad que una sola mirada indiferente del otro derrumba todo tu mundo y te inunda ese sentimiento de abandono, te haces chiquito y solo quieres llorar y gritar. Aveces viene la euforia y te sientes imparable, que nada puede contigo, haces todo lo que tenias planeado para el mes en un solo día, te pones bonito y te sientes el mejor del mundo, pero lamentablemente solo dura unas horas y cuando acaba la angustia vuelve con más intensidad que nunca, y de nuevo ese sentimiento de abandono, de que nadie jamás comprenderá como te sientes, de no poder explicar cuando te dan crisis que ya no puedes más, estás cansado de todo, te duele el solo echo de existir. Que hacer? No das más y agarras todas las pastillas del mes y te las tomas una a una, con cada pastilla que tragas sientes como vas perdiendo el control una vez más, ya no queda ninguna y solo esperas el final, te dejas caer sobre la cama y empiezas a ver colores, un portal se abre en la pared y de el salen pájaros negros, en un momento tu eres uno de ellos y vuelas lejos, muy lejos. Así pasan horas y derrepente despiertas, se acabó... No pasó a mayores, y de nuevo el sentimiento de angustia te inunda, caíste una vez más, lloras con ese llanto que te sale de las entrañas, porque no se acabó todo de una vez por todas? Te duele todo tu ser, te duele el tlp. Pero te levantas, siempre te vuelves a levantar, no importa lo dura de la caida, porque eres un guerrero, y te secas las lágrimas y te levantas de la cama, una nueva fuerza emerge de tu interior, si no acabo es por algo o no? Eso es lo que me pregunto en cada intento de suicidio fallido, si estoy aun aquí es por algo y aunque me tome la vida entera y miles de caídas más me levantaré nuevamente y lo descubrire.
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