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kokoa-la · 10 months

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Prompt from @help-i-need-a-cool-username

Danny was tired of his neighbor’s bullshit. Above his head rested the well known crime lord of crime alley, Red Hood. Now, Danny used to be a vigilante, he gets it, truly, but that did not mean he forgave the other for the sheer amount of wake up calls he’s gotten. He knew he was a light sleeper, has been ever since the portal opened and since the portal was shut down by yours truly, but the amount of noise was still unacceptable. Did the guy not know he lived right below him? He knew that the building was in a rough patch, but it wasn’t deserted. He wasn’t the only one here ya’ know. By now the halfa had had enough. He had a class at 9 am tomorrow in literal physics. He needed sleep if he didn’t want to pass out in the lecture that he 100% needed for the midterms in 2 weeks. He would have gone up and complained in person if he wasn’t, you know, on the run. So he sat in his bed, grabbed earbuds, played one of his sad playlists and tried his best to sleep.

That was it, Danny was going to actually kill the Red Hood. Here Danny is, minding his own business, writing a paper for the English class he had to take for extra credits, and in storms 5 men kicking down his door with all sorts of weapons. They were in all black with hoods and bandanas covering the bottom half of their faces.

“Where’s Red Hood? We know he lives here!”

The half had had enough. Here he was, on page 2 of a 5 page paper, while on 9 shots of espresso and 3 energy drinks to make up for the lack of sleep he got last night because of the same very guy this gang is looking for. He was going to strangle this man, hands down, screw the GIW.

“I’m literally a college student trying to live off of a minimum wage salary, if all of us could be crime lords and afford an apartment without a day job, we’d all do it.”

“Where is the Red Hood?!”

The guy in the middle had yelled before pointing a gun right at Danny’s head. He sighed before standing and putting his hands above his head.

“I don’t know. He’s not here, and I don’t even think he lives in the building.”

He didn’t know why he was covering for his neighbor's ass, but he already had one foot in, so why not the rest of him?

“Don’t bullshit me! We know he lives here!”

“Are you sure it was this building, and not the one across the alley?”

Dany inched closer as the main guy looked over at the goon next to him and started arguing. By the time they looked up, Danny was right in front of the gun, merely inches away from the barrel now pointed at his chest.

“Boo.”

His eyes glowed a vibrant neon green before the lights turned off leaving the apartment in pitch black.

Red Hood cursed as he realized how careless he’d been. One of his men had informed him that they received a warning from one of their informants. Apparently, there was a new gang on the rise with the sole purpose of taking him down. Somehow they’d followed him to his apartment one night and were staging an attack right now. Luckily, it didn’t seem like they knew his civilian identity, but he didn’t know that for sure. Plus, if they broke in and he wasn’t there, he didn’t want to know what they’d do to the others inhabiting the complex.

It took him about two minutes to get there using his bike. He scaled the side of the building and got in through his window only to find his apartment exactly as he left it. Had his men lied to him? Or had the gang just not arrived yet?

Well, that’s what he thought before he heard gunshots below his feet. He scrambled down the stairs and ran to the apartment below him, taking out his gun and slowly walking towards the door. It was dead silent. It seemed that the last noise to leave the place was that one stray bullet, since then not a sound.

Hood cursed under his breath before turning the corner and moving the broken door out the way. Inside was a pile of 5 men in all black knocked unconscious with a man sitting on top of them criss crossed holding a bat with a green sticker on it in one hand while the other typed on the open laptop sitting in his lap. The vigilante didn’t even move. He lowered his gun to the floor and just stared at the scene at hand. Eventually the man looked up at him with ashy blue eyes and a tired look about them. He sighed before closing the laptop and resting his chin on the small end of the bat.

“Dude, it’s 3 am. Can you please tell your enemies to stick to acceptable invasion hours?”

Hood didn’t even know what to say. He just stood there at the door, even clocked his head sideways in confusion. The other sighed.

“I have a class at 7 am tomorrow and this paper is due like yesterday, so can you just, I don’t know? Schedule this shit? Or at least make sure they have the right apartment. I didn’t complain about the noise before, but this is ridiculous.”

Yeah, Jason couldn’t believe his eyes or ears right now. Was this man serious? He cleared his throat before finally speaking.

“Right… sorry about that? I guess? I’ll take them off your hands. No promises about the schedule though. I can’t exactly control when people try to kill me.”

He stepped forward only for the other to raise the bat at him threateningly. He still sat on the 5 men, and still was pretty far away from Hood, so why he raised the bat he didn’t know.

“Do you want them in your house or not?”

“I want you to stay right there and pay for the bullet holes in my walls.”

“You just said-”

“Oh, I know, but you agreed so readily I’m testing the waters.”

What the fuck was up with this guy, seriously.

“You know I have a gun right? I could shoot you”

“Well so did they, and look where that ended them. Gunless and knocked out.”

Touche, Jason wanted to say, but didn’t. One of the men on the ground started to move and groan, his neighbor, without breaking eye contact with him, spun the bat in his hand and hit the man dead center on the head, knocking him out once more.

Was Jason attracted to this? Maybe.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dc x dp au #danny phantom #danny fenton #jason todd #danny just wanted to finish his homework #jason todd didnt know he was gay #danny proceeded to accidentally become hoods guard dog cus hood refused to move away from danger twink #jason leaves fruit baskets #jason repairs his walls dw #danny tried to sue - jason said no #danny is a glorified glow stick #the fenton anti-creep stick shows itself once again

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bunnieswithknives · 28 days

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Chaos and Fizzy love me. They love me because if they didn't they would kill me.

#yhs #yhs reboot #yandere high school #yhs bunny #body horror #blood #implied abuse #stockholm syndrome #horror #psycological horror #Lore #art #digital art #I love slamming them against walls #I need them to break #I need them absolutely shattered beyond repair

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desitenya · 1 year

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rlly wonder how they take care of ‘accidents’ in the sk family household, like im sure the amount of broken tvs went down as soon as kuusuke left the house but kusuo had a Moment when he already used time reversal on the house so

#ch 150^#i dont think kuusuke would rlly swing by to fix house issues like that LOL #he stays out of a lot of family affairs unless to cause trouble. plus kuniharu's steadily paying for the house #also where tf was he when kurumi was targeted for fraud in the class reunion chapter. kusuo hope u know how to repair walls..#goose honks

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swordsmans · 9 months

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ahhh i really try to keep things Flirty and Fun here, but i just wanted to lower the capitalization to flirty and fun for a moment, because. this is the second day in a row that i have full-on weepy cried irl over comments on my newest fic, and i really, really, really cannot thank you guys enough for the response to it from the absolute bottom of my heart.

fic writing brings me a lot of joy. it's both a creative outlet and a form of escapism. it's also a very intentional challenge i give my brain. yes, fundamentally i'm writing about two anime guys wanting to kiss sooo bad (because they should)—but inevitably i've put little bits of myself into my stories, as well. my little vulnerable insides that i sometimes struggle to look at directly. you know, regular artist stuff. it's hard not to, because all stories come from the heart (even fanfic).

i stopped writing for myself for many years, and i have only just returned to it this year for various reasons. the response from everyone has been absolutely overwhelming, even from day one. i'm not always the best at responding to messages or comments fast (or even at all, depending on the day) but i read everything. tags, bookmarks, ao3 comments, dms, inbox messages—all of it. i have screenshots saved in case anyone deletes anything. i go back and revisit things over and over again. every single kudos or like brings me joy.

i cannot overstress how much i love and cherish every single person who reads the stuff i've written. i'm a writer but there are literally no words big enough in the english language to express how you guys make me feel. all i can do is say thank you and keysmash and send lots of heart emoji memes... and hope i am getting the message across. but really, really thank you. from the bottom of my heart thank you. thank you, thank you, thank you.

#the zolu community in particular has been incredibly welcoming and warm... everyone has been so nice #to say i worked hard on my newest fic is an understatement #interviewed a guy who does fishing boat repair for one thing. spent a lot of time at the harbor #did a lot of museum research even outside my job. shed lots of irl tears #it also has a lot of those soft inside bits of me in its themes #i was fully convinced it was going to be me and one or two friends but SIXTY-SIX people have read and enjoyed it!!!#when i think of how many people that is it's hard to imagine. that's a whole room filled wall to wall. thats AMAZING!!!!#sorry to bring it down but i just need everyone to know how important this is to me #my feelings are all big and wonderful... thank you thank you thank you. really genuinely thank you.#gyro.txt #gyro.odt

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driftingballoons · 7 months

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Rental house has THIS bad boy in a children’s bedroom

If you don’t hear from me again I got Coraline’d

#Wtf is this #I’m sure it’s something like they repaired or whatever #But it’s at least 4ft tall and you can push it slightly deeper Into the wall #Hmmmm

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marblemoovt · 1 year

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His name is Jeff!! - Wade Wilson/Reader

Masterlist

Rating: General

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Fluff. Pure fluff, baby.

Summary:

During a snowstorm, you bump into a strange man walking his pet… shark?

------ “Easy, boy!” A voice shouts from behind. You whip around and squint, trying to see through the whirlwind of snowflakes. The approaching crunches and thumps grow louder. Before you have time to react, a ball of gray and white knocks you onto your ass.

You groan, rubbing your sore tailbone. What just hit you? A dog? Your eyes catch a red leash on the ground. Following its trail, you meet fins and rows of sharp teeth. Definitely not a dog. It’s a… shark with legs?? And it’s wearing a harness? Maybe you died of hypothermia, now wandering in another plane of existence where sharks live on land.

Note:

I've been wanting to write a Deadpool fic and I also adore Jeff the Landshark. So here is a culmination of my love for the two.

Honestly, it was nice to just write something goofy and not feel pressured to try and fit a lot of story/plot.

Happy Reading! ( •̀ ω •́ )y

─── ⋆ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡⋆ ───

Meat popsicle. You feel like a meat popsicle right now. It started snowing a few days ago and hasn’t stopped since. The cold air nips at your cheeks and nose. Frost crunches beneath your feet. What are you doing in this godforsaken weather?

Hot chocolate. You were craving a cup and decided to walk to the nearest cafe despite the snowfall warnings. The weather wasn’t too bad when you left your apartment. Now you can barely see two feet in front of you. White blurs your vision, and you wrap your scarf tighter.

“Easy, boy!” A voice shouts from behind. You whip around and squint, trying to see through the whirlwind of snowflakes. The approaching crunches and thumps grow louder. Before you have time to react, a ball of gray and white knocks you onto your ass.

“Aaaand Strike!!” A man in a red, skin-tight suit and a fluffy bathrobe appears in front of you. “Sorry! The little guy’s very rowdy” He holds a hand out to you, but your butt remains planted on the ground. You stare at him, then at the shark by his side—is that its tail wagging? Yeah, you’ve definitely died. Because what the fuck is this?

“Am I dead?” you ask, eyes wide.

The man cocks his head to the side and then laughs to himself. “Didn’t you check the warnings? There’s no major character death here. This is pure fluff, baby.” He boops your nose and calls you a “silly goose.”

You smack his hand away from your face. “What are you—“

He cuts you off. “Are you gonna get up? Aren’t you worried your ass will freeze and fuse to the ground?” He pauses and mutters, “Is that even possible? I guess that’s up to the author.” You don’t think he’s even talking to you anymore. This man is clearly on something—he has a pet shark for crying out loud! Or maybe you’re the one tripping? Can hypothermia cause hallucinations? The creature pads up to you and sniffs your boot.

Considering how superpowers exist, a walking shark seems like a plausible concept. But seeing it with your own eyes does not quell your disbelief. “Is that, um, is that a shark?” you ask, reaching a tentative hand for the creature to sniff. Smooth skin leans into your touch, and vibrations rumble under your palm. You laugh, staring in awe as the shark rubs its head against your hand.

“His name is Jeff!!” There’s a lilt in the man’s tone, and the lower half of his mask lifts. The corners of your lips curl up in response.

“Hi, Jeff?” You pet Jeff on the head. His purrs send a pleasant tingle through your fingertips. Is this even biologically possible? Your thoughts are interrupted when a slimy tongue lathers your palm. You scrunch your nose but thank Jeff. His tail drums against the frost-ridden concrete.

“He likes you already!”

There’s one question that’s burning on the tip of your tongue. You glance at the man and whisper, “Is it insensitive of me to ask why he has legs?”

Red hands clamp over Jeff’s ears. “Shhhh! Not so loud! He doesn’t know he’s not supposed to have ‘em.” You stutter out an apology and scramble off the ground. Laughter rings through the howling wind. “I’m just messin’ with ya. Jeff and I are two peas in a pod; he was someone’s science project.”

You sigh, the tension melting from your shoulders.. “What about you? Who are you?” You know the shark’s name but not his. Come to think of it, you haven’t introduced yourself either. Although giving your name to a strangely dressed man is probably not a good idea.

“I’m Deadpool!” He points at himself. The eye area of his mask crinkles, and you roll your bottom lip over your teeth. You try to figure out if it’s some sort of stage name and if it correlates to his suit. Although you were under the impression that strippers wore less, not more.

Pursing your lips, you shake your head. “Never heard of it.”

He gasps, “Not it, him, me. I’m a highly coveted mercenary.” You can't decipher between pride and delusion in his tone. Most mercenaries you’ve seen on the news don’t sport fluffy bathrobes and fuzzy slippers. Or maybe it’s a tactic meant to disarm unsuspecting targets? Slippers do also make lethal weapons.

You raise a brow. “Ok, Mr. Desirable. What are you doing in the middle of a snowstorm dressed like that?” You glance down at the cute bunny slippers on his feet.

“Don’t you have eyes? Although if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this.” He rubs his chin. “Maybe you use text-to-speech like Al,” he mutters. Sweeping his arms in a grand gesture, he directs your attention to Jeff chewing on an icicle. “I’m walking my shark!” Jeff pauses momentarily, glancing up at the two of you before resuming his gnawing. The ice clinks against his teeth and crackles when pieces crumble off.

A gust of wind ruffles your hair, and its freezing hands claw at your face. “You’re not cold?” you ask, shaking from the breeze. His suit doesn’t look very thick, and the bathrobe—there’s no way it’s providing him with any warmth—must be soaked by now. You don’t even want to imagine what walking in his slippers feels like.

“Nope, not unless you’re offering to warm me up. In that case, the rating would have to bump up a couple levels.”

You bark out a laugh, confused by the second half of his response. “Don’t I have to take you out to dinner first?”

He chuckles, and the warm timbre is a campfire in this blizzard. Suddenly the wind doesn’t sting as much as it did before. “Funny! I sure know how to pick ‘em.” You can't see, but you can hear the affection in his tone. It’s almost drowned out by the thumping of your heart. “And what are you doing in a snowstorm, beautiful stranger—who I definitely have never seen before?”

You hum, but no matter how much you prod your brain, you don’t recall seeing him before. His outfit—fluffy attire excluded—is hard to miss. “Looking for the cafe,” you answer.

He claps his hands, his body trembling with excitement. “Oooh, I could go for a peppermint mocha. Jeff loves eating whipped cream.” At the mention of whipped cream, the ground thuds with small tremors.

You glance at Jeff. “I don’t think sharks are supposed to ea—”

“I’m inviting myself on your perilous journey,” Deadpool butts in. His chest puffs up, and he squares his shoulders. The wind’s perfect timing billows his bathrobe behind him like a cape.

You cross your arms, an amused smile tugging at your lips.“Who said it was perilous?”

“Because you’ve been wandering in circles for the last 20 minutes. The cafe is right there.” He points to his right, and the faint light of the cafe sign winks at you. How did you not see that earlier?? It’s like something was preventing you from noticing it.

“The snow makes it hard to see,” you huff. Heat prickles your neck, and you crouch down to pet Jeff again.

Deadpool stares at you, his gaze searing into the crown of your head. “Can I buy you a drink?” he asks.

You keep your eyes on Jeff. His large eyes look up at you, the remains of an icicle dangling between his teeth. You stroke his head, and the familiar rumble soothes you. Taking a deep breath, you look up at Deadpool. His gaze sends your stomach fluttering. Something about this man makes you want to know him better. You answer his question with another question. “Why? So you can warm me up later?”

He shuffles his feet and asks, “Is it working?”

You bite your lip, but a grin spreads across your face. “Why the hell not.”

Deadpool bounces on the balls of his feet, pumping a fist into the air. “Yes!” There’s a short intermission where he freestyles some dance moves. Jeff joins in with some stomps and spins of his own. The entire performance leaves you in tears, your chest aching with laughter and not the bitter chill of winter.

He holds his hand out to you. And this time, you accept it.

Bonus Scene:

Wade exits the cafe, carrying Jeff in his arms. “Jeff, buddy, you deserve an award for the ultimate wingman.” Today went even better than he expected! He’s seen you before but never gathered the courage to talk to you. You lived a relatively ordinary life, and well, he didn’t.

So when he was taking Jeff out on his daily adventure and saw you standing in the middle of the snowstorm…. He thought you looked stunning. Your cheeks and nose were tinged red, but the snowflakes sprinkled throughout your hair glimmered like tiny gems. For a moment, he didn’t dare breathe—terrified to ruin the beautifully crafted picture in front of him. So when his grip slackened, and Jeff bounded towards you, he panicked— a lot.

But you didn’t find him irritating at all. You even made jokes! How did he get so lucky? He can’t wait to—

“Mrrr!” Jeff kicks his limbs to grab Wade’s attention, his tail whipping his forearm.

“Yeah, yeah. I know the deal. I got two pounds of ribeye waiting at home.” His fingers skim Jeff’s underbelly, and the shark lets out a wheeze. His lips spread into a smug grin. “I knew single fathers are irresistible.” He’s already getting ahead of himself, fantasizing about how you would be a great shark parent. And while you can’t adopt a land shark at shelters, maybe you can adopt a cat instead! Jeff needs a buddy for when he goes out for a job.

Wade continues skipping to his apartment, giggling to himself. He replays today over and over inside his head.

“Mrr?”Jeff tilts his head, tongue lolling out of his mouth.

“Of course I’m happy. I learned their name and got their phone number.” He shifts Jeff in his arms and fingers the napkin in his pocket.

“Mrrr.”

“I gotta double the steaks?” Wade gasps, holding Jeff up to meet his eyes. “You’re squeezin’ me dry here, buddy.” Jeff flicks his tongue and leaves a slimy trail across his mask. “Awww, fine. But only cause you helped me score a hot date for tomorrow.”

─── ⋆ ｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ﾟ｡⋆ ───

End Note:

I'll see you guys at my next hyperfixation! (。・∀・)ノ

Reblogs are appreciated!

#deadpool x reader #wade wilson x reader #marvel x reader #deadpool #wade wilson #fluff #first meeting #Jeff is the ultimate wingman #He already told you there's no major character death #Why are you checking the tags #Brb repairing the fourth wall rn #gender neutral reader #no y/n

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