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andyeddieeee · 3 months

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What Your Favorite Band of Brothers character says about you (revamped and based on personal experiences)

Winters- You’re either a pretty level headed person or your life is in complete shambles and you find comfort in characters that know how to handle stress.

Nixon- You love a good self destructive character and more than likely see yourself in them. Also, how is your undiagnosed mental illness treating u lately?

Lipton- You just want to be held and cared for so bad it’s not even funny anymore.

Speirs- You most DEFINITELY read wattpad stories as a kid. The mafia kind. You’re also unnecessarily horny on the internet and probably say he’s “Lana-coded.”

Roe- You love a good tragic and tortured character, I’ll give you that. You also listen to boygenius and love religious imagery.

Babe- I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you’re on some type of lgbt or autism spectrum.

Liebgott- You have a really weird self-confidence complex and read a LOT of enemies to lovers. I’m lowkey scared of you even though you’ve probably never hit anyone in your life.

Webster- You’re an artist at heart and view the world in a way that might set you apart from your peers. You can never and will never tell if that’s a good or a bad thing. Also you call grown men “babygirl.”

Guarnere- You have TERRIBLE taste in men and can never tell the difference between being mean or flirting.

Toye- Ditto ^ but also may I add you probably have a thing for people in uniform.

Buck- You are a very simple person. You like everything to just be kind of normal and calm all of the time. Sometimes you dip your toes in the water, but it’s more of a once a year kind of thing. Your favorite superhero as a kid was Captain America.

Luz- You are just cool. Very Ferris Beuller, Bill and Ted, Matthew Lillard kind of cool. You’re also probably transmasc or into guys to some degree.

Shifty- You’re either one of those “omg smol bean” people or you just love a good ray of sunshine kind of character. Your favorite pony as a kid was probably Fluttershy.

Malarkey- I’m so deeply upset just looking into your eyes dawg you need to take a nap and book a therapy session. Not a single one of you guys is completely and totally stable.

Renee- You so desperately wanted this show to pass the bechdel test and wished more women were included in the production. You’re also into women.

Perconte- You’re either really cool or you’re really annoying. No inbetween.

Bull- You really liked the SNL “Big Boy” skit with SZA

Muck- You want to be the funny friend so bad and you’re still not sure if you’ve earned that title yet. Mad respect though bc I know ur ass has seen supernatural in full. More than once.

Welsh, Penkala, Spina, Talbert, Grant, Martin, Penkala, Hoobler, Skinny- Either you’re lying to be different or you genuinely love a good underrated background character.

Blithe- Mm you’re lying lol

Sobel- Hey, girl! What the fuck!

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a-gassy-antelope · 3 months

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Chanting "McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!": Luz, Perconte, Babe, Webster, Muck, Malarkey, Shifty, Welsh

"We have food at home": Winters, Lipton, Roe, Bull, Renee

*Pulls in and orders 1 black coffee*: Speirs, Nix, Liebgott, Martin, Toye, Sobel, Guarnere,

(Gives in and orders everyone a happy meal: Buck)

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shoshiwrites · 5 months

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Band of Brothers Ages: IRL vs. Actors

Did you know that according to a 1947 study, almost half the men who served in WWII were still under age 26 by the end of the war?

What this is : A (very long) post comparing the ages of the actors in Band of Brothers vs. the IRL figures they are portraying.

Background: Did I need to do this? No. Did anyone ask for this? Also no. Did I do it anyway? Yes.

Disclaimers: This is SUPER approximate for the most part. I based IRL ages off of D-Day unless otherwise noted, and actor ages off of January 1, 2000, the year filming took place (the latter is where the most variation will be because I didn't try to figure out what month filming started). I also didn't fact-check birthdays beyond googling. Most are sourced from the Band of Brothers and Military Wikis on fandom.com, Wikipedia, and IMDb.

I broke them up into rough categories, which are, again, approximate. I know I often forget how young the real life people were here, and this was a good reminder of that. I also found it interesting to see which actors were actually younger than their roles!

Check it all out under the cut ⬇️

~10+ years older

Dale Dye (55) as Col. Robert F. Sink (39) (~16 years)

Michael Cudlitz (35) as Denver "Bull" Randleman (23) (~12)

Marc Warren (32) as Albert Blithe (20) (~12)

Rocky Marshall (33) as Earl J. McClung (21) (~12)

Frank John Hughes (32) as William J. Guarnere (21) (~11)

Neal McDonough (33) as Lynn D. (Buck) Compton (22) (~11)

Dexter Fletcher (33) as John W. Martin (22) (~11)

~5+ years older

Simon Schatzberger (32) as Joseph A. Lesniewski (23) (~9)

Richard Speight Jr. (30) Warren H. (Skip) Muck (22) (~8)

Jason O'Mara (30) as Thomas Meehan (22) (~8)

Ron Livingston (32) as Lewis Nixon (25) (~7)

Donnie Wahlberg (30) as C. Carwood Lipton (24) (~6)

Matthew Settle (30) as Ronald C. Speirs (24) (~6)

Nolan Hemmings (28) as Charles E. "Chuck" Grant (22) (~6)

Douglas Spain (25) as Antonio C. Garcia (19) (~6)

George Calil (26) as James H. "Mo" Alley Jr. (21) (~5)

Rick Gomez (27) as George Luz (22) (~5 year)

Scott Grimes (28) as Donald G. Malarkey (23) (~5)

Stephen Graham (26) as Myron "Mike" Ranney (21) (~5)

~less than 5 years older

Shane Taylor (25) as Eugene G. Roe (21) (~4)

Tim Matthews (23) as Alex M. Penkala Jr. (19) (~4)

Matthew Leitch (24) as Floyd M. "Tab" Talbert (20) (~4)

Peter O'Meara (30) as Norman S. Dike Jr. (26) (~4)

Tom Hardy (22) as John A. Janovec (18) (~4)

Rick Warden (28) as Harry F. Welsh (25) (~3)

Kirk Acevedo (28) as Joseph D. Toye (25) (~3)

Eion Bailey (25) as David Kenyon Webster (22) (~3)

Craig Heaney (26) as Roy W. Cobb (29) (~3)

Damian Lewis (28) as Richard D. Winters (26) (~2)

Robin Laing as Edward J. "Babe" Heffron (~2, 21/23)

Ben Caplan (26) as Walter S. "Smokey" Gordon Jr. (24) (~2)

David Schwimmer (32) as Herbert M. Sobel (33) (~1 year)

Michael Fassbender (22) as Burton P. "Pat" Christenson (21) (~1)

Colin Hanks (22) as Lt. Henry Jones (21) (~1) (age around Bastogne)

Bart Ruspoli (23) as Edward J. Tipper (22) (~1)

~Same age

Peter Youngblood Hills as Darrell C. "Shifty" Powers (21)

Mark Huberman as Lester "Les" Hashey (19)

Younger

Lucie Jeanne (23) as Renée Lemaire (30) (age around Bastogne) (~7)

Ross McCall (23) as Joseph D. Liebgott (29) (~6)

Simon Pegg (29) as William S. Evans (~33) (~4)

Philip Barantini (19) as Wayne A. "Skinny" Sisk (22) (~3)

James Madio (24) as Frank J. Perconte (27) (~3)

Stephen McCole (25) as Frederick "Moose" Heyliger (27) (~2)

Matt Hickey (~16) as Patrick S. O'Keefe (18) (~2)

Incomplete/not found

Phil McKee as Maj. Robert L. Strayer (34)

Rene L. Moreno as Joseph Ramirez (30)

Doug Allen as Alton M. More (24)

David Nicolle as Lt. Thomas A. Peacock (24)

Rebecca Okot as Anna (Augusta Chiwy) (24) (age around Bastogne)

Alex Sabga-Brady as Francis J. Mellet (23)

Mark Lawrence as William H. Dukeman Jr. (22)

Nicholas Aaron as Robert E. (Popeye) Wynn (22)

Peter McCabe as Donald B. Hoobler (21)

Marcos D'Cruze as Joseph P. Domingus (not found)

#ty mercurygray for that sweet sweet jstor access #band of brothers #uhh one more disclaimer it's entirely possible that i mistyped stuff here and that i switched ages/etc.#i did try to proofread though!#anyway. i apologize if anyone has already done this.#shoshi.txt #sort of #it's also very possible that i spent too much time online today

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detectivebambam · 5 months

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foxes as dog breeds:

andrew - pit bull

neil - labrador retriever

matt - golden retriever obvs

renee - cocker spaniel

alison - german shepherd

aaron - chihuahua

dan - border collie

nicky - beagle

kevin - great dane

and yes i have reasons

#bc i love dogs #and the foxes #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #neil josten #kevin day #nicky hemmick #alison reynolds #dan wilds #matt boyd #renee walker

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coldresolve · 1 year

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Moneymakers, pt.xxx // the_attic_101120XX

For once I'm gonna put a big fat trigger warning here on tumblr too: TW SELF-INJURY in the form of cutting. Dead dove, frfr. Previous / AO3 / Wattpad / Masterlist / Next

Renee’s heart isn’t in it. Not at first, anyway.

He knows that by this new tension in the atmosphere, which makes the air almost palpable to breathe in, marring even the glances he exchanges with Davin. He’s pretty sure Conrad can sense it, too, or maybe he’s just scared again, he just keeps his gaze down. The spotlights hammer heat through layers of black clothes, making Renee sweat as he secures Conrad’s handcuffs to the hinge in the massive oak table they’ve moved in front of the camera. It looks like an interrogation in a way, with Conrad seated there, hands locked to the tabletop. Renee is waiting for the line he snorted to kick in, to regain that sense of normalcy, but until that moment comes, all he feels is apathy. Honestly, he’d rather get drunk and play video games right now, rather spend the day wasting time on meaningless bullshit.

But a job is a job.

One-handed, he pulls the balaclava over his head, feeling his cut hair prick against the fabric, and turns on the camera. Automatically, he strides backwards, watching Davin for the small nod to signify they’re live. The chat, which they’ve set up on a tablet facing Renee, is already running. People are excited, they’ve been waiting for a while.

Davin finally nods.

Renee takes a deep breath. Smiles behind the balaclava. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he says with forced ruefulness, “in-betweeners and outsiders – we’re back at last.”

As he strides to the table Conrad is sitting at, he wonders at the ease with which that persona comes back, that role he has to play for the cameras of an enthusiastic torturer, as if the balaclava shrouds him in the veil of his character. It’s as much a performance right now as the beaming smile of a cashier, he thinks, or the professional understanding nod of a nurse long since numbed to tragedy.

He hops up to sit on the edge of the table, facing the camera. Winces briefly at the pain in his arm. “Some shit happened while we were away, most of which I won’t go into for the time being. Safe to say, we’re not gonna be drowning him again. We’re in luck, though. There’s more ways than one to have some fun.” He chuckles.

Eleven thousand to cut off an ear. Sixteen to have at him with a bull whip. Twenty to hamstring him. Some suggest to sodomize him, a line Davin and Renee already agreed not to cross, while other suggestions lack entertainment value altogether.

Renee sniffs as he lets his eyes scroll over the price tags in the chat. “I actually had something in mind,” he mutters. “I’d like a lazy day today, really kick my feet up and let other people do all my work for me. How does that sound?” He taps the table. “What do we want to see him do to himself, hm?”

There’s a small noise from Conrad behind him, almost inaudible.

Amelia1-5: Make him burn himself with something?

83942347: I see a hammer on the table behind you. 5k for each finger you get him to break.

Egogod76: If you use a stun gun on yourself do your muscles seize up on the button? Be fun to find out hehe.

As Renee reads the suggestions, he feel that old feeling of euphoria finally starting to creep in, like a flower blooming in the back of his mind.

Wyvern: Miserable enough to be a cutter, isn’t he? Make him carve a word of your choosing into his arm, 17k. I’ll make it an even 20k if you can get him to hit beans.

Renee chuckles as he reads the username. “Wyvern, huh? That’s awfully generous of you.” He slides off the table, making his way back to the table of tools, markedly not looking at Conrad until he’s on his way back to him, nonchalantly flicking the straight razor open in his good hand. “What do you say, hm? Sound doable?”

The guy sits very still, staring stiffly at his hands clamped in front of him. The only clue as to his state of mind is his rapid breathing, noise carefully suppressed.

Lightly running the razor around the side of Conrad’s chin, Renee tilts his head to the side to look him in the eye. “I’m talking to you, dipshit.”

Conrad swallows, breathing sharply through his nose. “I won’t,” he says. And then he looks away.

Renee laughs. “That’s cute.” He leans in closer. “If you don’t do it, I’ll break both your hands with the hammer,” he mutters. “How about that?”

Conrad winces, and there’s tears in his eyes now.

“Do you honestly think that’s an idle threat?” Renee chuckles. “Are you that stupid?” And he brings his fist down on the table hard enough to rattle it, just to watch Conrad jump. He lets go of the razor, letting the it tip towards Conrad’s grasp, and gets himself comfortably seated in a chair behind him, kicking his feet up on the table. His elbow aches as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Go on,” he tells Conrad. “We don’t have all day.”

Conrad eyes the straight razor in front of him like it’s a puzzle far past his comprehension. He looks back at Renee, swallowing thick. His voice is small. “You can’t expect me to, to…”

“Stop talking and cut yourself, Conrad,” Renee says, and while the amusement isn’t entirely gone from his tone, neither is his irritability. “Let me think of a nice word while you get used to it.”

Carefully, with a grimace of disgust marring his features, Conrad wraps his fingers around the razor’s handle, breathing impossibly shallow. Hands still cuffed to the hinge in the table, he moves the blade down one arm, until the edge barely brushes skin – and then he stops there, hovering. “I can’t do this,” he groans, sniffing. “I can’t do this.”

Renee chuckles. “Exactly how handicapped do you want to be in the near future? That’s the real question here.”

When Conrad turns to look at him, pale and wide-eyed, he cocks his head to the side. It takes the guy a while, but eventually, he takes a deep breath and quickly flicks the razor across his skin.

Renee kicks his feet on the ground, leaning over the table and squinting. From the shallow cut in Conrad’s arm, beads of blood begin to coalesce and run down onto the table. “Nah,” Renee says. “You’re gonna have to do better than that.”

“I can’t,” Conrad hisses.

Renee gets up, walking back to the table of tools to grab the hammer, bringing it back into Conrad’s view. “Drop the razor, then. Hold out your hands.”

Conrad shakes his head, teeth gritted against a sob. His hand clutching the straight razor is shaking. “I c-can’t do it,” he stammers.

Renee hits the table with the hammer hard enough to leave a dent in the wood, teeth bared under his mask. When Conrad flinches, Renee has the impulse to bring the hammer down on the guy’s stupid, curly head, feel that thick skull give way. He’s pretty sure he knows what kind of sound it would make.

Maybe something shows in his eyes, because Conrad winces and turns his attention back to the razor and his arm. Renee watches with spiteful, hungry eyes as the knife digs into flesh again, this time going deeper than before. The knife shakes so badly by the time he’s done with the cut, tiny droplets of blood are flicked from blade to table. Conrad lets out a whine as the pain hits him, rocking somewhat in his seat.

“Another,” Renee says. “This time, make it fucking count.”

A sob racks through Conrad’s frame as he tries to steady himself to cut again. “I hate you,” he hisses under his breath.

Renee just snickers, and waits, absentmindedly twirling the hammer in his hand.

The third time Conrad draws the razor across his forearm, he finally lets the blade bite deep. It’s fascinating to see his expression change from the anticipation of pain to something akin to shock as the wound gapes open under the knife – to actual pain when his nerves finally catch up. He lets out a cry, dropping the razor to the table, clutching his arm tight in his other hand. Blood creeps out between his fingers.

Renee raises a brow. “Not bad,” he says. Lets out a chuckle. “Now do it again.”

Conrad swallows, not looking up at him. “Again…?”

Renee shrugs. “C’mon, someone’s paying good money for this.” He pauses. “How about that, hm? I’ll let you carve out some dollar signs. Man’s gotta know his own worth.” He laughs.

Conrad looks on the verge of throwing up. Hand slick with blood, he warily picks the razor back up, steeling himself for another cut.

By chance, Renee’s eyes drift to the tablet as he waits for Conrad to bring the knife across again. “Oh, hang on,” he says. “There’s drama in chat.”

Amelia1-5: Someone ban cortesal.

Amelia1-5: keeps running his mouth

Renee snickers. “You think we have chat moderation? This isn’t fucking Twitch, Amelia.”

N0cturn4l: We got a preacher in chat ahaha

Ricochet: LMAO @cortesal448 just kill yourself honestly.

“Fuck, no, hang on, let’s see what this bitch has to say,” Renee chuckles, as he walks over to the tablet, scrolling back until he finds the comment from the right username. “The host is a coward through and through,” he reads. “He terrorizes someone he already knows can’t fight back, meanwhile he for sure can’t take what he dishes out… insecurity, bla bla… I wouldn’t be surprised if he… oh.” Renee pauses, squinting at the screen. “Oh that’s not family friendly.”

Laughing, he steps back from the screen, looking at the camera.

“You bring up some interesting points, I’ll admit, but you’re wrong about a few things. First of all,” he says, pulling a knife from his pocket. “I lay some mean pipe.”

He chuckles a little to himself as he flicks the knife open.

“Second of all… Can’t take what I dish out, huh? You think I’m a hypocrite. Really?”

Renee hitches up the sleeve, careful not to disturb his broken arm too visibly, and places the blade against the skin on his forearm. With a forefinger against the blade’s back, he presses the edge downwards and steadily moves it across. Pale skin is split layer by layer, anatomy he recognizes but can’t name. As blood begins to flow, creeping forward from sources not visible by the naked eye, the pain finally comes creeping too, a shrill note that fades in and almost immediately crescendos, deafening out most of everything else. He pays mind to it, acknowledges it, but doesn’t let it take over his body, not yet. Instead he keeps applying pressure until the knife makes it past bubbly deposits of fat to expose stringy bands of darker, more fibrous flesh, and to avoid permanent damage, he stops there, retracts the knife, closes his eyes, and leans his head back. One deep breath at a time, in through the nose, slow and steady, he lets it wash over him, lets it surround him without a fight; a rush is a rush is a rush…

As the immediate pain fades to a duller, more muffled ache, Renee gives a sharp shake of his head, rolls one shoulder. Opens his eyes and meets Conrad’s incredulous expression with amusement playing on his own.

With a sigh, he lightly sticks the tip of the knife into the wound as he holds it up to the camera, pointing to the darkest layer. “That right there is muscle,” he says. “I’ve made Conrad DeWitt scream and beg with less – so yeah, I can take it. I’d go as far as to say I can take it better.”

He dries the knife off in his pants, clicking it closed and sliding it back into his pocket.

Conrad’s just staring at him, open-mouthed.

Renee laughs. “What? Bitch called me a coward.” He shrugs. “Get back to work.”

That finally makes Conrad close his mouth.

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#writing #moneymakers #renee #conrad

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