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swiftgronmasterpost · 4 years

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Spring/Summer/Fall 2013 - The End(?)

Click here for an appropriately sad Swiftgron breakup playlist.

I don’t know if it’s important or not but Dianna wishes several friends a late happy birthday on twitter, apologizing for missing the actual day through this spring and summer. It seems like maybe she’s going through something (like a bad break up?) because it’s not like her to miss friends’ birthdays.

March 26, 2013 - Maybe a relevant tweet?

April 7, 2013 - Dianna tweets a photo of James Dean in a day dream like setting:

April 16, 2013 - The article that outed them:

Someone made a fake article that said Swiftgron was dating:

Dianna tweets seven times that day which is a bit much for her.

The hashtag here stands out to me:

The fake article goes viral and all week people are tweeting about the possibility that Dianna and Taylor are dating.

April 23, 2012

It seems to culminate on this day. Many people are buzzing about Swiftgron and this actress tweets:

That’s right at midnight.

About 12 hours later Dianna deletes her public Tumblr:

On that same day Dianna reblogs several things on her private Tumblr. These two stand out to me:

She reblogged both of these posts and the only hashtag they had in common was “#lost love” - she was searching that hashtag.

I think it’s very clear that today is the day Swiftgron 2.0 broke up. I believe they were forced to by their management teams due to being outed.

April 24, 2013 - Taylor seems regretful/stressed out she screenshots her text to Austin and posts:

I think Dianna’s obviously upset about this and as an act of defiance she tweets at Taylor a few days later (Taylor does not respond.)

April 29, 2013

Instead Taylor posts on Dianna’s Birthday (April 30) a silly google search (very DIanna in nature tbh) with a play on the lyrics from 22:

Taylor had the week of Dianna’s 27th birthday off of the Red tour (it was scheduled like that) but as far as we know they did not hang out.

May 4, 2013 - Ours

At her first show since their supposed break-up, Taylor performs Ours as a surprise song. She introduces it by saying: “This is a song about how, when you fall in love everybody starts to give you their opinion. I imagine it could be really hard to make a relationship last, I wouldn’t know. But, given that everyone is giving you their own opinion about it, I think that the only opinion you should really listen to is yours and if you love that person, that should be all that matters.”

youtube

Dianna dyes her hair brown and goes to Morocco a week later with Ashley (”You searched the world for something else, To make you feel like what we had”) from about May 11 - May 14 or 15. While there she attends the A Small World relaunch. ASW could be viewed as a bit “sketchy” if you will. I think this is where she befriends Olivia Wilde.

This is Dianna’s first (known) trip to Morocco (Derek Blasberg is there too) but she seems to be drawn there over and over again after this, even marrying Winston Marshall there (and possibly meeting another boyfriend, Gus Wenner there.)

May 19, 2013 - Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas

Taylor wins 8 awards and says this during her acceptance speech:

This and the performance of Ours makes me think Taylor is bitter about a break up right now, even though publicly she broke up with Harry back in January.

This is also the event where Taylor is famously grossed out by Justin and Selena’s hetero nonsense and does this:

It seems like as always, Taylor has a lot going on right now...some kind of drama with Justin is boiling but it’s possible she’s also referencing her breakup with Dianna in her acceptance speech.

Dianna pops back up in NYC.

May 20, 2013 - WLW icon Kristen Stewart apparently spends the night at Taylors?

May 28, 2013 - Taylor plays Haunted on the Red Tour and gives a speech:

"This is a song that I haven't played on this tour so far. It came up when one of my friends tweeted the lyrics to it today and it reminded me that I haven't played this song in about two years. It has to do with the fact that, you know people talk about ghosts all the time. You just kind of imagine it being this supernatural thing, but there's another kind of ghost and it's just a person who is out there walking in the world or just doesn't love you anymore and that's a whole different kind of being haunted." Seems like she’s really going through it.

July 2, 2013 - Anniversary of Hyannis Port trip and interesting private Tumblr post from Dianna:

Bad things happen this summer. Cory Monteith passes away and Taylor is assaulted at a meet and greet by a DJ.

July 2013 - Dianna buys a house in LA (I Wish You Would)

August 2013 - Dianna’s whosirmesir moniker gets outed and she stops blogging under that tumblr account.

August 14, 2013 - Taylor is in a weird place according to the Lover diaries:

1. she seems to have basically written The Lakes here

2. she’s really harping on themes she ends up addressing in I Know Places, Out of the Woods, and Wonderland

August 29, 2013 - Dianna steps out with restaurateur Nick Mathers.

Not sure what to make of this one. Dianna seems to date two types of men: 1. teeny bopper actors for bearding and pr purposes (it generally seems) and 2. rich businessmen. Nick is type 2, but their relationship is reported on as if it’s PR. “Sources” call up gossip sites to fill them in on the relationship and both their projects get plugged along with announcements on them as a couple:

I don’t know if they were more or less legit but she goes out with Taylor five days later...

September 4, 2013 - The Fun! Concert:

Swiftgron’s last pre-Kaylor public sighting - they go to a Fun! concert in LA

It’s just a split instant of video footage but Sarah Hyland uploads this to Vine and it does not look like Dianna is enjoying herself:

Note: It kind of looks like DIanna has her arm around Taylor’s waist and also the person to the right of Taylor is Selby Drummond who is still friends with DIanna as of writing of this masterpost (December 2020) and who still appears to be a fan of Taylor’s.

Dianna does look miserable but I do think it’s interesting they seem to be making an effort to hang out on the two year anniversary of their public (perhaps private as well) first meeting.

Dianna tweets about the concert the next day:

September 6, 2013 - Taylor plays Speak Now as the surprise song on the Red tour. Interesting given the timing of Dianna and her new boyfriend being public just one week before this.

September 8, 2013 - Taylor plays Sad, Beautiful Tragic for the first time ever live and gives this speech:

"I kind of feel like playing a song I've never ever played live before. This is um a song that I wrote about how you know just because something's over doesn't mean it wasn't incredibly beautiful. Cause another lesson I've learned is not all stories have a happy ending and you have to learn how to deal with that. So this is a song about a story that didn't end so happily but was still supposed to happen. This is called Sad, Beautiful, Tragic."

I don’t think this song was originally written about Dianna but I do think at this time while they stumble through the last phase of their relationship Taylor was inspired to sing it.

October 2013 - Taylor writes I Wish You Would, a song inspired by an ex who had recently bought a house near her driving past her house. It’s thought to be about Harry but Harry didn’t buy a house in LA until March 2014. But of course we know Dianna did buy a house near Taylor’s in LA earlier this fall.

November 11, 2013 - The music video for “She’s Just Another Girl” premiers starring Dianna looking stunning in high fashion drag, dressed up as the lead singer, and lip syncing the words to the song:

Some lyrics to the song include:

All of my friends say I should move on She's just another girl, don't let her stick it to your heart so hard And all of my friends say it wasn't meant to be And it's a great big world, she's just another girl

I could be reeling them in left and right Something's got a hold on me, tonight Well maybe all of my friends should confront The fact that I don't want another girl

I think it’s at least possible that Dianna was drawn to this project because the lyrics resonated to her given what she was going through with Taylor at the time.

November 12, 2013 - Day of Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show rehearsals and Dianna posts this (now deleted) picture:

November 13, 2013 - Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show where Taylor performs and Karlie Kloss walks the runway.

Dianna posts this picture (now deleted) of her at Emma Stone’s birthday party from 11 months previous:

It’s likely she’s looking at Taylor in this photo who was seated across from her.

It’s a very random picture to post. It wasn’t titled as a throwback and it wasn’t an exact year after the picture was taken (prompting some kind of happy birthday shout out to Emma Stone or anything) - just a random picture of Dianna smiling, likely at Taylor.

November 17, 2013 - Dianna posts a (now deleted) photo about missing someone:

November 21, 2013 - Taylor posts lyrics from a hopeful love song about a troubled relationship:

Lyrics:

December 9, 2013 - Dianna listens to Pale Blue Eyes

Lyrics are about being emo over a lost love with Blue Eyes:

Sometimes I feel so happy Sometimes I feel so sad Sometimes I feel so happy But mostly you just make me mad Baby, you just make me madLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

Thought of you as my mountaintop Thought of you as my peak Thought of you as everything I've had, but couldn't keep I've had, but couldn't keep

Linger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

If I could make the world as pure And strange as what I see I'd put you in the mirror I put in front of me I put in front of meLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

Skip a life completely Stuff it in a cup She said, "Money is like us in time It lies, but can't stand up" Down for you is upLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyesIt was good what we did yesterday And I'd do it once again The fact that you are married Only proves you're my best friend But it's truly, truly a sinLinger on your pale blue eyes Linger on your pale blue eyes

December 11, 2013 - You know the drill...Dianna posts a now deleted photo to Instagram:

December 13, 2013 - Dianna posts an attention grabbing photo on Taylor’s Birthday

Conclusions - Swiftgron very clearly goes through a rough breakup due to being outed.

Then they attempt some sort of reconciliation - even hanging out (date night?) on the second anniversary of their Fairfax Flea Market meetcute, but it goes wrong.

Taylor is on tour for much of this time and Dianna is posting angst ridden and peculiar Instagram posts exactly at the time Taylor meets Karlie.

Click here to keep reading!

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theghostandtheblackhat · 3 years

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My ranking of Jane Austen adaptations

Just my opinion, I don’t expect anyone else to feel the same

1. Pride and Prejudice (1995)

I know it’s cliche to put this one first, but I watched it when I was younger and it’s a real comfort to me. It’s also just great. Pretty much everyone is perfect, apart from some of the actors being too old for their parts. I will say one thing though, and this goes for all Pride and Prejudice adaptations: stop making the dad a nice guy! He’s an idiot who thinks he’s smarter than everyone

2. Persuasion (1995)

Persuasion in my favourite Austen book. I really enjoy that the main characters are older and have some life experience behind them. Even for the most fortunate of people, life damages you somehow. Anyhow, this is the best Persuasion adaptation so far (although there are a few on their way). It’s beautifully acted, and the romantic tension between the two leads is palpable. It captures the novel very well and the letter scene (oh my god THE LETTER) is perfect.

3. Emma (2009)

This adaptation is just so delightful. Romola Garai is so perfect in this role. It’s quite a kind Emma, a lot of the sharper edges are sanded off, but it’s lovely. I really enjoy Jonny Lee Miller in this too. In their big scene (after his speech) he does these big sighs before she reciprocates and I just love that. This is another comfort watch for me.

This is another one where I’m not a big fan of the father. I think he’s very emotionally manipulative.

4. Emma (2020)

Definitely a spikier Emma. I don’t love all of Anya Taylor-Joy’s performance, she can be a little too arch sometimes, but otherwise I think it’s perfectly cast (Miranda Hart as Miss Bates is a fucking genius move). I’ve really liked Johnny Flynn in other stuff, and boy can he pine (I loved the post-ball scenes). Oh actually one other thing I didn’t like about this was the depiction of Emma’s sister and her husband in this, why do they hate each other? But all in all, really enjoyable

5. Sense and Sensibility (1995)

I recently read the book and then watched the movie again. Although not a super close adaptation it does capture the feel of the book very well. Hugh Grant is perfectly cast in this movie, apart from being too good looking.

This is a book criticism, not a movie one (Alan Rickman is great), but I’ve always hated the Marianne/Brandon storyline. Apart from him being a lot older than her, the way he latched on to her because she reminds him of a long lost love is just kind of gross. Like, there’s a lot of projection there.

6. Northanger Abbey (2007)

I mean this movie is just fun! JJ Feild is lovely as is Felicity Jones. I don’t have much more to say about it, it’s just an enjoyable movie

7. Mansfield Park (1999)

I enjoy what the film maker was trying to do here (making a point about slavery etc). It’s not pulled off perfectly, but I do like it.

8. Persuasion (2007)

Ugh this movie. It’s not ‘good’, but I enjoy watching it. The casting is top notch, I really fucking like Sally Hawkins and Rupert Penry-Jones. They do a great job with SO MANY bad directing choices (so many). There are some good moments in this film, but it’s a badly made film. I still watch it though, because it’s fucking Persuasion.

9. Sense and Sensibility (2009)

Dan Stevens is too fucking confident to be Edward Ferrars. And again gross with the Marianne/Brandon thing. Apart from these things, this adaptation is fine, it has it’s faults but I’m not going to go nitpicking. The actors playing Elinor, Marianne and their mother are good.

10. Emma (1996 - Kate Beckinsale)

I haven’t seen this version for ages, but it’s fine. I love Mark Strong in many other things, but he is a weirdly shouty Knightley. Oh I do love the little factoid that the actor that plays Robert Martin in this (Alistair Petrie) is played by his onscreen son in Sex Education in the 2020 version (Connor Swindells).

11. Emma (1996 - Gwyneth Paltrow)

I just really hate GP in this sorry. And Toni Collette (who I usually love). It’s so simpering! It really puts off the rest of the movie for me.

12. Pride and Prejudice (2005)

I have tried to see why people really like this movie, I really have. I know people really love it. But I just. Don’t. Get. It. I think it’s badly cast (apart from Rosamund Pike, you are perfect), and I think it’s really obvious the director was a man. He makes some obvious director-y flourishes that really take me out of the story. Again I hate Mr Bennet being a good guy.

I do like Mrs Bennet being a little more sympathetic and the actor is good in this.

13. Mansfield Park (2007)

I mean this movie is just bad. I liked Hayley Atwell as Mary Crawford. That’s about it.

14. Persuasion (2022)

It’s just so bad. The character of Anne is completely changed, there’s no romantic tension, so many of the good lines are taken out, the wink-wink to camera tone of it is all off, the two leads have no chemistry. Persuasion is beautiful book filled with longing. This movie is just boring.

#jane austen #pride and prejudice #emma #sense and sensibility #persuasion #mansfield park #northanger abbey

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grxceblqckthxrn · 4 years

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TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast

hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION

she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire

emma can’t act for shit lmao

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one??

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha

probably has like 1 million followers

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS:

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :(

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

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sweetsmellosuccess · 3 years

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The Best Films of 2020

The 15 Best Films of 2020

Normally, when I assess a full year of cinematic offerings, I consider both sides of that coin — the outstanding entities, and the least successful — but the year of our lord two thousand and twenty provided more than enough misery for all of us, I do believe. Ergo, in my own small way to bring better vibes into the universe, for this year’s round-up, I’m staying solely on the positive tip, highlighting those films whose unfortunate release date during the Year of the Hex shouldn’t preclude them for being fully appreciated. Let’s take a year off from negativity and schadenfreude, shall we, and just stroll amongst the poppies and bright sunshine of some of the best releases of the year.

15. The Invisible Man

“Leigh Whannell’s film is thoroughly modern in approach and sophistication, but the film it most reminded me of was made back in 1944. George Cukor’s Gaslight starred Charles Boyer as a loathsome husband who attempts to convince his already anxious wife (Ingrid Bergman) that she’s going insane by secretly rearranging things in their house and taking things from her so she thinks she’s always misplacing them. He preys on her emotional vulnerability in order to mask his own pathology and emotional detachment. The effect is absolutely enraging: Onscreen, he’s one of the more hateful villains ever committed to celluloid.”

Full Review

14. The Killing of Two Lovers

“From the opening sequence, with a distraught, estranged husband standing over the bed of his wife and her new boyfriend with malice in his heart, and a gun in hand, the film spirals out into incredibly well structured compositions, taking us inside and outside of David’s recurring psychosis, utilizing a bevy of techniques: The framing shrinks down around him, the sound gets muffled, as if underwater, save for the incredibly unnerving metallic sound of cables being stretched taut, and the sickening kathunk of a heavy car door slamming shut.”

Capsule Review

13. Another Round

“Typically, Vinterberg avoids simple conclusions — and God help us all if this film gets picked up by a U.S. studio and remade with, say, Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Steve Buscemi, and Chris Rock �� providing more or less equal examples of the delirious fun drinking with your friends can be (the film opens with a group of high schoolers gleefully doing “lake races” whereby teams compete to drink a case of beer while running around the nearby body of water; and closes with the same teen crew, and some of their teachers, whooping it up in celebrating their graduation); and the horrorshow it can become (one teacher ends up peeing the bed, and on his wife in the process, another wakes up bloodied and out of it in front of his neighbor’s house), leading to very real and horrible consequences.”

Capsule Review

12. Soul

“Co-director Pete Docter is the creative force behind many of Pixar's best titles, having a hand in the Toy Story franchise, WALL-E, Up, and also directing Inside Out, a brilliantly moving treatise on the subject of emotional upheaval. This film, which he co-wrote and made along with fellow co-director Kemp Powers, is his first film back at the helm since that high-water mark, and he has again dug into the fertile earth of our mortality and come back with a particularly vibrant crop.”

Full Review

11. The Burnt Orange Heresy

“Based on the novel by Charles Willeford, the film briskly moves through its paces, clouding the waters with the schemes of duplicitous men, who have sold out any love of art for their greater obsession of cash and prestige. A literary thriller in the vein of The Talented Mr. Ripley, it’s become a genre all too rare in the era of blockbuster bravado. This film will remind you what a mistake that is.”

Full Review

10. Lovers Rock

“In the course of the party, the fuses blow while the house DJ is spinning Janet Kay's "Silly Games," a fan favorite at the time. Undaunted, the guests continue dancing away, singing the lyrics a capella in delirious unison, as McQueen's camera swirls around the living room as if nothing happened. Such a heartfelt moment of unbridled togetherness, putting into distinct bas relief the sense of community we've been denied as a species in 2020, feels like a benediction, an epitaph for the year, and a salve for what we've all been so desperately missing.”

Capsule Review

9. Time

“Ostensibly, it’s about the strain of incarceration on even the most grounded of families (an experience naturally disproportionate for POCs); but, on a deeper level, it’s also about the manner of our use of the limited number of revolutions we get to enjoy situated on this earth. It is a profound knock-out.”

Full Review

8. New Order

“Meet the new boss, only in Michel Franco’s damning portrait of a society locked forever in cycles of oppression, revolution, and new oppression, it makes no difference who you are, what your belief system is, or whether or not you subscribe to a moral set of ethics.”

Capsule Review

7. Dick Johnson is Dead

“Utilizing stunt people and special effects, Johnson kills her father off a number of different gruesome ways, as a means of softening the blow of actually losing him as his mind slowly slips away. This eventually culminates in a final gambit, both acutely painful and deeply moving, in which our sense of things gets seriously upended. As Johnson put it during the post-screening Q&A, the film serves as a “doomed experiment trying to keep my father alive forever.” This film won’t make him immortal, alas, but it does make him indelible.”

Capsule Review

6. Martin Eden

“Marcello packs the film with offbeat bits and pieces of other films, including strips of what appear to be vintage home movies, sometimes in juxtaposition to what Martin is feeling — a group of kids swinging wildly from the bar of a fence, to a full galley ship taking in water and suddenly sinking like an iron ingot – which adds a more winsome, timeless element to the narrative. It’s clearly set in the past, but avoids being too dependent on that particular sense of place and time. Martin is a young man, at first, just coming into himself, and the actions he takes, what he goes through, the film seems to suggest, would be similar in any age.”

Full Review

5. Minari

“The film is certainly charming, but that’s not to diminish its straightforward approach to its characters’ plight. It doesn’t shy away from their difficulties, and as a result, it doesn’t cheat towards smarmy emotional closure.”

Capsule Review

4. Collective

“The breath of hope in the film, when the inept Minister of Health resigns, leading to the placing of a new, emboldened director who works quickly to clean the quagmire left by his predecessors, is just as quickly expelled after the next round of elections, in which the Social Democrat party — the very ones in charge of this catastrophe in the first place — gets re-elected with an even greater majority than what they had before. A perfect reflection of what happens when a government is allowed to exist without any meaningful oversight, other than from a bedraggled press and a disenchanted electorate.”

Full Review

3. First Cow

“Reichardt, a naturalist at heart, is not known much as a humorist, but there is a lightness to her screenplay -- co-written by Jonathan Raymond, her frequent collaborator, who wrote the original novel upon which its based -- that keeps it as sweetly airy as one of Cookie's fried confections. The two friends are so out of step with their surroundings -- the party of men Cookie initially travels with are little more than brutish thugs, and the fort upon which they end up is no better -- they almost had to find each other. They are reunited in the local bar of the fort only because literally every other patron runs out to egg on a brawl between two loutish combatants.”

Full Review

2. Never Rarely Sometimes Always

“Hittman’s eye for detail and emotional complexity — her characters can rarely articulate anything they’re experiencing — is incredibly acute, and she pulls tremendously understated performances out of her two leads.”

Capsule Review

1. Nomadland

“Perhaps no American director since Terrance Malick has made more of the collapsing light of dusk and twilight than Chloe Zhao. Much of her new film, which stars Frances McDormand as a transigent woman (“not homeless, houseless”), who traverses back and forth across the west in her beat up live-in van, doing seasonal work, takes place in that particular kind of vibrant half-darkness that shrouds the desert and its mountains with a magic kind of mystery.”

Capsule Review

Other Worthy Mentions: 7500; Assassins; Bacurau; Beanpole; Beginning; Black Bear; Bloody Nose Empty Pockets; Boys State; Come Play; Emma; Gunda; His House; Horse Girl; I Am Greta; Jacinta; La Llorona; Let Him Go; Limbo; Mangrove; Mayor; MLK/FBI; One Night in Miami…; Palm Springs; Possessor Uncut; Red, White & Blue; Relic; She Dies Tomorrow; Shirley; Shithouse; Shiva Baby; Some Kind of Heaven; Spring Blossom; Swallow; Tenet; The Dissident; The Invisible Man; The Nest; Sound of Metal; The Vast of Night; The Viewing Booth; The Way I See It; Vitalina Varella; Welcome to Chechnya

Inexplicably Underrated: 7500; Shithouse

Biggest Welcome Surprise(s): The Vast of Night; His House; She Dies Tomorrow

The Best Two Films I Saw This Year, Period: Satantango (1994); Harlan County, USA (1976)

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medea10 · 3 years

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Medea’s Worst Year of All-Time Anime/Game Superlative

Nobody saw this year coming…except for maybe Barbara Walters! Who could have predicted that this year would bless us with Australia burning, the entire west coast of the U.S. set on fire, stupid people setting fires because they wanted to reveal a baby’s gender, murder hornets, Ruth Bader Ginsburg dying, an almost war with Iran, serial killer mascots arrested, policemen killing unarmed black folks for having a counterfit $20, policemen killing unarmed black folks for breaking up a fight, policemen killing black folks for holding sandwiches, policemen killing unarmed black folks for fucking sleeping, a wide variety of “Karens” coming out of the woodworks, the end of Bojack, the end of Steven Universe, the end of Empire, and a pandemic so huge it’s killed the economy, canceled fun, and given the U.S. president the dumb-fuck idea of injecting bleach to kill the virus!?

SERIOUSLY, WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED ALL OF THIS WAS GOING TO FALL IN OUR LAPS LIKE HOT COFFEE ON THE CROTCH?!

At least there was anime this year.

…

At least there was SOME anime this year.

…

Biden won the election and Vickeblanca came out with Black Catcher this year.

Hey internet, it’s Medea here to give you her trashy opinion on this years anime and games that she’s watched or played. Because for some reason, my loser-ass loves to do out-dated as fuck memes! I shouldn’t complain, this shit brings a lot of attention to my page every year when I do this. Yes, 2020 was a complete dumpster fire so large that Domestic Girlfriend is crying foul. Many of us had to go on lockdown and ended up binge-watching the entire 957+ episodes of One Piece. I did no such thing. I am one of those “essential workers” so I didn’t hunker down for 9 months straight. But when I was home, I was watching anime. Actually, I would have done that even without the pandemic. I’m an introvert and find the human race to be deplorable.

You all know how this goes. I go over the best this year had to offer me. I had to search really hard to find the good in this year, especially in the anime world. Many things had to be put on hiatus or were delayed to a later date. Just a reminder, I don’t discriminate in what year the anime or game came out. If something came out in the happier times of 2007, that anime or game counts! Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2020: Interspecies Reviewers

Did anyone expect a fan-favorite of 2020 was going to be a hentai? Did anyone have on their batshit 2020 bingo card that a hentai was going to grab everybody’s attention? At the beginning of the year, my mind was set on the Railgun sequel and Eizoken. It wasn’t until licensors, streaming sites, and TV stations in Japan dropped this series that I started to pay attention. And got immediately hooked! It’s about three men going to different brothels and reviewing their time with the ladies. And these ladies are of different species! So with every bang comes possible enlightenment, new kinks, or a night of having your dick sucked off more than humanly possible. This anime blew away all of my skepticism and first impressions right out the window. Maybe it’s because I’m a degenerate and am often curious about sexual content, but this was a guilty pleasure of mine this year.

Favorite Main Character of 2020: Moroha from Yashahime

I know the majority of this story is going to revolve around Towa and Setsuna, but can we please focus a little more energy on the spunky, quarter-demon girl?! I know they’re pitting Moroha as the comic relief, but I’m hopeful that she’s going to surprise us one day. We fans of InuYasha would spend the past decade and some change wondering what InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter would be like. This year, we got our answer with Moroha. She’s got this wild side to her, probably due to the fact that she’s spent her entire life on her own. And while she’s silly at times, she can get down to business in a pinch. She has her father’s sense of smell. She has a sword. She’s able to shoot sacred arrows much like her mother. And to top it all off, she has this special rouge that if she puts it on, she’s able to unleash that ¼ demon power inside her and become Beniyasha! Yeah, I know the power only lasts a minute, she’s only 14, give her a break! I will gladly go through another week scratching my head at the confusion this story gives me if I get to see one more second of Moroha and her crazy antics or her bad-ass slaying.

Favorite Villain of 2020: The Devil Believers from Black Clover

This was one hell of a year for Black Clover. It would have been an easy choice to pick the devil and possible super devil that appeared during the elf fight. But I’d like to give a nod to the filler arc villains. And you can’t blame this group for wanting the power of the devil. They’re literally the bottom-rung of the Clover Kingdom and ones with little to no power or mana. So I can agree with why they would want the power of the devil. For one thing, they’d have more power. And for another thing, they’d be able to exact revenge on those who have wronged them. On some occasions I agree with exacting revenge and when it comes to the nobles and some characters in Black Clover, some folks do deserve death. I mean, have you met the king of the Clover Kingdom? Plus, this town and many other poorer towns get looked over by the kingdom. Peasant uprise! Anyways, I thought these people were really crafty in their crimes. I mean, they were able to knock Asta out on his ass with specially made poisons. I was actually hooked to this story of Black Clover (despite it being a filler arc). I know we’ll never see them again as they have been exiled, but it did have me semi-rooting for them.

Favorite Video Game Character of 2020: Honey from Pokemon – Sword & Shield (Expansion Pass)

Sorry Raymond from Animal Crossing!

Honey is the saucy wife of Mustard…I did not expect that to come out the way it did, but here we are! She has one hell of a team you can fight once a day. She looks out for her husband, the dojo, and the students of the dojo like they were her own children by providing food, drinks, and others. However that does come at a price as you do have to give up a sizable chunk of your watts that you collect in raid dens. I’m sure a bunch of MILF chasers were more than happy enough to give her all their hard-earned watts just so they can have their one-on-one moment on the beach with Honey.

What won me over was when that one guy from a rival dojo bad-mouthed her husband’s dojo and she…I think she kicked this guy’s ass herself. I don’t think she used any of her pokemon. Game Freak won’t show it, but we all know she kicked this guy’s ass to a point where he’s begging for mercy.

Honey, for the win!

Favorite Game of 2020: Animal Crossing New Horizons

This game was just Zen for me. I know the release of this game came with some controversy like Gamestop saying it’s an essential business and will remain open for people to get their copies of the game. Hell, I was one of those assholes in line waiting to get a copy on March 20th. Did I predict that a pandemic was going to rage out of control when I got a prepay copy of this for Christmas 2019? NO! I only predict political things, not deadly pandemics! The good news, we social distanced, didn’t catch the covid and got the game.

Anyways, this game has been a non-stop calming and fun ride. I can even forgive their botch-up of Bunny Day. They even have events for holidays I never thought they would ever touch. I mean, does anybody know when Museum Day is? Probably not until Animal Crossing had an event for it! I’ve been able to let my freak-flag fly with designing my island. And this goes way beyond New Leaf for the 3DS. I can make a sign post with the words “Fuck Trump” on it and post it in my yard. I can dig up trees and plant them elsewhere. I can poop in a toilet. I can craft furniture and put my own design on it. My furniture can have Tracey Sketchit’s beautiful mug on it. I can sit on Tracey Sketchit’s face. I am a sick fuck and I don’t care. I can give Raymond and Bob maid outfits. Magical time in my game! My hopes for next year…I don’t know, get the Festivale furniture, get Papi and Olivia to join my island, maybe visit Danny Trejo’s island, who knows, sky’s da limit!

Favorite Het Couple of 2020: Nasa and Tsukasa Yuzaki from Tonikawa

This is one of the most unorthodox marriages I’ve ever seen. But in this 90 Day Fiance world we’re living in, I shouldn’t pass judgement on these two getting married in episode one and not knowing much about each other. Nasa meets Tsukasa as he was about to be plowed by a truck. Tsukasa saves his life. Nasa says she’s beautiful. Tsukasa says she’ll be his girlfriend if they get married. He agrees. She disappears. Four years later, Tsukasa appears in front of Nasa’s front door with a marriage registration form. Congratulations buddy, you’ve got yourself a waifu! In some way, this felt like watching Yamato and Takeo from My Love Story. I was fascinated with them progressing through their relationship. The only difference is that Yamato and Takeo took the old-fashioned route. This couple did everything ass-backwards in terms of having a relationship. But I couldn’t take my eyes off Nasa and Tsukasa’s relationship during each episode. I find them cute.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2020: Karin Asaka x Emma Verde from Love Live Nijigasaki High School Idol Club

AAAAAAAAAH! I’M IN IDOL HELL AGAIN! Yeah, no kidding! I came this close to putting Miu x Nicole from that abomination 22/7. But thank God for Love Live! There’s no telling if any of the girls from the Love Live franchise are confirmed to be lesbians. But fuck it, all of them attend all-girl schools, no males exist anywhere, and Sunshine gave us Kanan x Mari! Yeah, you know Kanan and Mari is canon as fuck, don’t at me. So naturally, I found more third-years to ship in the new Love Live series. Now I know I should have put up Ai x Rina or Ayumu x Yuu. Especially the latter due to recent events! But Emma x Karin is my OTP.

Now Emma is an exchange student from Switzerland and in coming to Nijigasaki, she first meets Karin and they became instant friends. When Emma said she wants to become an idol, Karin helped her quite a bit. Even though Karin had no interest in being an idol as her modeling career is starting up, Karin would occasionally help Emma out. And surprise, surprise, Karin ends up fascinated with the idol world and Emma helps her come to the light to be herself there. Okay, I’m totally reading this in some fragmented way, but I’m currently playing Love Live School Idol Festival All Stars and the app game has a lot more stuff involving stuff the anime has yet to talk about. Confirmed or not, Karin x Emma for the win!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2020: Eiji Okumura x Ash Lynx from Banana Fish

It took me a while to get here, but I finally made it to 2018’s overlooked gem. Forgive me for not being fully caught up, but from what I’m watching at the moment, I’m sticking to my guns and supporting the hell out of this. I mean, I could have mentioned The Titan’s Bride here…but fuck no, I ain’t goin’ down that mess! Ash has gone through a lot, I mean a helluva lot in his past. His cute boy looks have made him a target on the streets of New York, with mafia dons, and with prison inmates. But dude can kill if you mess with him. Then you have Eiji, who is just a literal example of a “pure cinnamon roll (until episode 8)”. These two are as opposite as you can possibly get. Ash is from New York and Eiji is from Japan. Ash likes hot dogs with everything on it. Eiji likes grilled fish and natto. Ash spent the majority of his life killing on the streets. Eiji was a track superstar. You get my meaning. But when we got these two together it’s quite adorable. Ash is really able to change when he’s around Eiji. Ash isn’t some heartless killer on the street about to kill a thug with prosthetic fingers. When he’s with Eiji, he’s a joker that can easily get scared of pumpkins. And even in later episodes, you got these two acting like a husband and wife.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect to Get Into: Les Miserables – A Girl Named Cosette

Let me explain a little something. Les Mis! I have never seen the play, watched the movie, or read the novel prior to picking up this anime. Not a single one of those! And that’s a bit of a head-scratcher when you realize I was a bit of a musical theater nut in my teenage years. But one thing I do like is when Japan does an anime based on plays or historical events (like Romeo x Juliet or Rose of Versailles). The second I popped in Les Miserables the anime, I wanted to binge watch the whole 52 episode series. It is by no means a perfect adaptation of the Victor Hugo novel. Several key players end up surviving all the way up to the end of the story! But because this was my very first viewing of anything Les Mis, I took to the story of Cosette and was eager to see what was going to happen next in her tale. Unlike the movies and play, Cosette was the main focus of the story besides Jean Valjean and Javert. And thanks to watching the unfortunate stories of Cosette, Jean Valjean, the Thenadiers, Javert, Marius, and the rest, I thought it was time to watch the OTHER adaptations to Les Mis.

…

Russell Crowe sucks.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni

Higurashi or When They Cry is one of my favorite fandoms of all time! So naturally when we heard that it was making a comeback, I was excited. It was also very odd that Higurashi was given this sequel or reboot. Ahem! There’s another franchise that needs a face-lift. Umineko still deserves a better treatment. Plus, now that this series was out of the faulty hands of Studio Deen, Higurashi will get the special care it deserves. Believe it or not, it wasn’t just the anime that made a comeback for me, but the manga as well. Since 2009, I’ve read several volumes (out of order) and would every now and then come back to read the story. Back to the anime, this reboot or sequel…you know what, I’m gonna call it a “rebooqual”! This rebooqual sucked me back to the town of Hinamizawa and all the murders. Every week, I find myself comparing the current episode to one from the 2006 version. But then the fourth episode of each arc seems to catch me off guard.

Where are they going with this story and these twist endings to our favorite arcs? I did not expect Rena to turn a simple attempted murder into the end of School Days! I didn’t expect Rika to die in the most disgusting fashion they could think of. Could someone kill Teppei fucking Hojo? I will pay ¥5000 for someone to do that job. So yeah, because I know how much of this plays out and who does what, I’m usually watching and reading while making wise-ass remarks. But I still have fun with it.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Konosuba

In a year where I caught up with the popular Isekais like Shield Hero and Re:Zero, I found the wacky misadventures of Kazuma Satou to be amusing as all get-out. From the first 5 minutes, I found myself laughing at Kazuma’s misfortune. Seriously, how the fuck do you mistake a tractor for a car, have a heart attack, piss yourself, and fucking die in the first couple minutes to the series? You can only get away with this shit in gag animes! But it’s not just Kazuma’s dumbass, there’s a mage who only does explosions, but loses all her energy after one blow-up. Then there’s a busty, blonde who gets turned on by getting hurt and can’t strike anything with her sword. Anime’s biggest masochist or Cheryl Tunt incarnate, I haven’t decided which one to believe! Then you have this loud, crazy goddess chick named Aqua. She’s also useless about 86% of the time! Watching their unfortunate missions is all the crack that I need to get through this year. Seriously, Darkness is just all kinds of fucked up, but we love her.

Last Fandom of 2020: Yashahime

That’s right, the InuYasha sequel gets top spot here! Even though week after week I find myself asking more questions than when the episode started, I’m still hooked. If you’re like me, you watched and fell in love with the series InuYasha. So if they’re doing a sequel, you’re expecting to see all of your favorite characters from the prequel like InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Sesshomaru, Koga, Rin, and the rest. Actually, no! Quite the opposite! We’ve got Sesshomaru’s daughters, but no Sesshomaru. Rin is sleeping in a tree we think! We’ve got InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter, but they’re M.I.A. None of the girls even know a thing about their birth parents.

Now are these new characters a catch like the ones from the previous series? Some are! The three main girls, yes! Especially Moroha! I’ve already praised her name earlier in the superlative. Towa and Setsuna do take on some personality traits from their parents. Setsuna is definitely serious like Sesshomaru and Towa sometimes has a carefree yet loyal aura to her like Rin. I know I’m always skeptical when a series gives us a sequel featuring the offspring of the main characters. Especially when you’ve got some lame examples like Boruto and Eureka Seven AO (I might retract my diss on Boruto later)! As each week gives us a new episode, we’re unraveling new clues into a lot of things involving our old favorite characters, as well as the new ones. So I have high hopes for Yashahime for the time being!

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presumenothing · 4 years

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FICTOBER 2020 – PROMPTS #01 TO #05 – WTNV/FMA AU – GEN, NO WARNINGS

📻 PREVIOUSLY ON: episode one – pilot

“NO, COME BACK, said the spider to the fly, but we all know how the rest of that story goes.

“Welcome to Resembool.”

“TODAY, THERE IS THIS: a story about someone.

“This information is less helpful than you might think. All stories are about someone, in the singular or plural or uncountable. It’s what makes them stories, instead of disparate collections of facts and events loosely coiled about some narrative anchor.”

“HERE, THEN, are the particular someones this story concerns itself with – a man who is not large, and a man who is not small.

“Of course, this is only one way of describing them, and not even the one most people might use. Truth is not often equivalent to relevance, but for the purposes of this story it is close enough anyway.

“The man who is not large sits at a desk with a phone. The scene is not much different to anyone else sitting at a desk with a phone, and indeed not much different from his usual behaviour at all, except that he is frowning.

“This is, in turn, because his calls are not getting through.”

“AT THIS MOMENT, the man who is not small arrives. There is very little in common in the way of physical appearance between these two men, save for the possibility that if you ignore everything else about the situation, you might quite understandably think that both of their faces are made for smiling.

“Neither one is smiling now. The man who is not small crouches a little when entering the room, as some people who are not small are wont to do. No luck, sir? he asks.

“No luck, the man who is not large agrees, but not in a way that is frustrated.

“Or rather – it is true that he is frustrated, but that is not the most relevant thing. He taps his fingers, looks to the ceiling, and thinks.”

“WE CUT BRIEFLY AWAY from this story to the community classifieds.

“Item: Curtis Butchers is looking to hire an additional staff. The job requires comfort around cleavers and other large knives, but not butchery experience since you will find yourself learning rapidly on the job, and anyway that’s the easy part. What’s the hard part? Wouldn’t you like to know. To apply, head down to the store and challenge one person to arm wrestling. Who you choose will be the first part of your interview. Good luck!

“Item: Ice-cream truck found in the parking lot of Dark Owl Records, vacant but in good condition. If this is yours, contact Rebecca Catalina, owner of Dark Owl Records. If this is not yours, but you are interested, maybe contact her anyway. She has some interesting ideas about a joint venture of sorts.”

“AND FINALLY – item: Base to Phoenix, town square, ten o’clock. That’s… literally all this last sheet of paper says. No clue what that’s about, but doubtless the recipient must have understood the message anyway.

“This has been the community classifieds.”

“AND NOW, WE RETURN TO the story at hand.

“…so I figured it was worth a try, the man who is not large is saying to the man who is not small. I have a theory that– never mind, we’ll know if it’s true or not based on how this pans out.

“The man who is not small does not say anything aloud in response to this statement. The contemplative silence is uncharacteristic of him, or at least how people usually perceive him, but then again everything they are doing now is uncharacteristic of how people usually perceive them.”

“PERCEPTION, AS IT HAPPENS, can often be neither relevant nor true.

“He’s going to kill me if this actually goes through, the man who is not large remarks, in a manner all too cavalier for such a comment. Ringing him up just to talk his ear off.

“That didn’t stop you before, the man who is not small observes.

“The man who is not large laughs. It really hasn’t, yeah. But who wouldn’t be happy to hear my dulcet tones? Or, more importantly… the news of my beloved wife and lovely daughter!”

“THE MAN WHO IS NOT SMALL studies the stack of photographs that have been thrust in his face. She really is growing up well, he says, and this impression at least is true if not particularly relevant.

“Although it is very relevant to the man who is not large, judging by the breadth of his grin. You’re a good man, Major. Ever consider having kids yourself?”

“LET’S PAUSE HERE AND TAKE A LOOK at traffic.

“There is a woman. We will call her Emma, and I won’t tell you if that is her real name – or more accurately I can’t, for reasons that will soon become clear.

“Emma came to this town just over two years ago, bringing only her daughter with her. Old Woman Pinako, smoking a pipe on her porch near the car lot, would see her arrival and think privately that it seemed more like a fleeing.

“Then she would extinguish her pipe and come forward to offer assistance anyway. They would not form any kind of instant trust, because Old Woman Pinako had been right in her guess, but both are practical women, in the way that you tended to get when you are adjacent to someone who practices alchemy.”

“BUT THAT WAS THE PAST. This is now.

“Now, Emma listens to the radio, hears about the newcomers to town, and worries. Her daughter is older, now, and I will tell you nothing about her either, besides that she has brown braids and blue eyes and a smile like the sun. Sometimes, she plays happily with the dog that welcomes her at Rockbell Automail, like Den reminds her of a family pet she was too young to remember.

“Sometimes, out the corner of Emma’s eye, her daughter bears a different form, like she is not sure what shape she should have when no one is looking. Sometimes it reminds her of the shadowed shapes she saw in the basement lab, the ones her husband only smiled about when she asked, scared and desperate and furious: you did this? Is this also what you’re planning to do to me, to N–

“And so Emma wonders if she got them away from her husband quickly enough, and worries if the newcomers are looking to bring her back. If they suspect what her husband, the alchemist, had been trying to do.”

“THE GENERAL ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS is that she did what she had to, and will continue to do so. The specific answers are yes, probably no, and no.

“The real answer is that none of these answers will be enough to reassure her, but at least they might help.

“This has been traffic. And now, the weather.”

“SO THAT’S THE WEATHER FORECAST FOR this coming week, but perhaps there was something you were more keen to hear about. A phone call, perhaps.

“Alas, listeners, I’m afraid I don’t much news for you on that front. You see, there are municipal regulations requiring enclosed booths around payphones to prevent undue weather damage to the equipment. As such, when the phone in the town square rang at ten, and a man stopped to answer it, there was a door he could pull closed behind him.

“However, the regulations say nothing about making the booth proof against eavesdropping, only rain, and so some parts of his words still drifted out anyway, stolen snatches of half a conversation: why did we let you choose the codenames? and yes, Eagle is fine, just itching to shoot something and I’ll report in as soon as I have something to–

“THIS LAST PART is said with forehead pressed against glass, eyes scanning the darkened streets outside, and presumably this is related to the way he stops suddenly, mid-sentence. A hurried murmur, too low to even guess at, and then he is hanging up and stepping out, pushing the door open.

“Who’s there? the man asks, measured in the way of someone who expects to be answered, and the words do not hang suspended in the night for long before a figure steps out of the shadows, hood drawn down around his shoulders.”

“THE MAN’S STANCE changes completely: he stiffens, and his tone is no longer measured when he says Marcoh? What are you doing here?

“It’s Mauro, the Sheriff replies, pulling his customary hood back up, and I could ask you the same thing, Lieutenant Colonel.

“It’s Colonel, actually, the man corrects, but not in a way that is actually meant to be a correction. I told everyone when we first arrived, it’s just for surveillance.

“The Sheriff says nothing, but the silence is loud enough anyway: that answer was unacceptable, try again.

“They’re planning something, and this town is standing in their way. Either it submits, or– you know what they’ll do. I can’t let that happen again, he finishes with an urgency that makes the words sound true, and relevant, and completely opaque to anyone else.”

“BUT THAT IS ONLY TO BE EXPECTED. This has been a story about someone, after all, none of which are us, and just because something is true and relevant to you does not guarantee that you will understand it at all.

“Stay tuned next for the crackling jingle of a blue truck parked by a records store, and the worried weight of a mother tucking her daughter in while wondering what will come tomorrow.

“Good night, Resembool. Good night.”

📻 TODAY’S PROVERB:

There are many things in this world worth an arm and a leg. If it’s not your own, at least.

(AO3)

happy inaugural fma day to me, and yes i’m celebrating it by putting out 100% self-indulgent content that is only borderline recognisable as fma because i can!! this also serves as a somewhat nonstandard fill to the first five fictober prompts, one for each section of the episode. i had to contort pretzels around myself putting some of them in, but it was a fun challenge anyway

this episode’s weather (which is arbitrarily decided by which 80s song is currently stuck in my head) was “eye in the sky” by the alan parsons project

characters introduced this episode, for those keeping score at home: maes as the man who is not large (who codenamed roy and riza as phoenix and eagle respectively for this op), alex as the man who is not small, curtis butchers as big rico’s, rebecca catalina as michelle nguyen, ex-mrs tucker pseudonym emma and nina as alive and well because to hell with shou tucker, and last but not least – marcoh as the sheriff of night vale, just because

#fictober20 #welcome to resembool #fma day #fma #fmab #wtnv #fanfiction #mine #the story about you episodes have always been fascinating to me #so here's a variation on that #me frantically texting anthrop: HEY I FIGURED OUT THE PLOT #that was a lie. there is no plot #only chaos

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 3 years

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Denmark brings the non-modern 80s sound to Rotterdam 2021

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Filler review in between me doing a shit ton of things at the same time and saving two of the writeups I at least wanted to do before Semi 1 or so, plus there’s a Turquoise carpet underway. Lessgooooooo Denmark

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Fyr og Flamme is a collective of two men, singer Jesper Groth and instrumentalist Laurits Emanuel. Together they don’t have much history as they formed in the Ben & Tan year 2020, but they have a couple of succesful (and their only prior to Eurovision) singles under their belt already, like, their first one, titled “Menneskeforbruger”, reached number one on a Danish radio top list once. Prior to the DMGP lineup release, amidst a bunch of few song and talent show wonders, they were the only act I’ve heard of and coincidentally even liked their music somewhat.

Their song, titled “Øve os på hinanden”, is about dancing. Fitting because their entry, which is more of an 80s rehash than an 80s throwback (as in, 80s but with a little something modern a la Dua Lipa), is all about the groovy music that would probably come all out after disco decade became over. Moreso, dancing of two partners and practicing the dancing on each other, somewhat. Lyrics are in Danish - first time a Danish entry is fully in Danish since 1997! History right there! Most other acts would mostly translate their Danish song into English once the language rule went abolished, but not these guys, because why they need to do a TIX and make an English song in their 3 song discography anyway. Good ^^

REVIEW

Sounds like one of those songs this year that can elicit the “guilty pleasure” reactions. Like Poland, which is mine. But for me Denmark is an actual pleasure, in a way?

The instant intro of the first few seconds really makes it a good blast of energy, because who isn’t resisting towards a nice little 80s synth. I don’t really fancy the verses being in a major key but they still feel very 80s in nature. And the chorus is really catchy, and so is the bridge, which is kinda maybe the best part of the song alongside the instrumental super 80s bits. I don’t know if Jesper is able to emulate an 80s vocal sound with his voice, but the whole band at least looks their part, at the very least, for Eurovision?

It also incorporates clapping. Just for the edgy “I don’t clap along to Soldi but I will clap to this” crowds out there. I love me some Eurovision clap songs.

But Denmark is kinda too prone to sending throwbacks that don’t add much new? Like, we got this 70s-esque throwback song from 2015, it can be very well argued that Lighthouse X were throwbacks to early 2010s boyband music that wasn’t as loud as the one of One Direction, 2014 had shades of the classic Bruno Mars of the time who himself have upgraded to sound like smooth R’n’B man for the ladies who sings about getting it with the ladies... are people in Denmark a little too nostalgic for their own good sometimes? Let me go there one day when panini subsides and check if they have a spare DeLorean, just for the fun of it, and if they keep the Deloreans as their biggest prized possessions in a way.

Overall a pretty standard dance song to dance to, if I expected some other mood being projected throughout it I’d straight up look at Gjon’s Tears staging. *orchestral music* Tout l’univeeeeeers *proceeds to moves arms like he’s performing “Rap God” in a talent show*

Yeah I like it, but I absolutely love the orchestral version posted above?? The big gall of DMGP to include orchestra on their NF while Albania’s NF traded it for a while just to have artists perform in the freezing cold outside instead... of course everything sounds better with orchestra. Smh at those who think otherwise

youtube

This is how the studio version sounds like by the way. All that review was for this. How does the studio pale in comparison to the orchestra, do you think

Approval factor: Yeah, maybe there’s some of it in me for this one too! Follow-up factor: Another broadcaster being cunts to their former act. Public outcries have been done ever since DR revealed the DMGP lineup and made them realize there’s no Ben and Tan in it, eventhough they said they would not send an entry to the next DMGP, but yet they did because they felt like it, and it was revealed in an ultimate dickish move that Ben and Tan were never allowed to re-enter in the first place. :’) Some say it’s because of prompting sympathy votes (as if Aksel and The Mamas needed any to win their NFs, OH WAIT.), some might even say it was because DR was too scared to do well and Ben and Tan were just *that* awesome. Songwise, I like their both entries equally, and it’s a nice Danish marketing move to go from one background music to another (but in 80s style). So it’s a move to an interestingly straight decent line, I guess. Qualification factor: In semifinals like these, when there are just that many good songs that cannot miss out on a final spot, some of them actually do end up in that unfortunate position unless they don’t... Denmark has a little bit of a chance? From the possible hopeless bunch I can only see one of Austria, Portugal and Denmark making it. Poland, a fellow 80s-like Nordic song, is too comedic to be taken seriously by the up-and-coming televoting community. Georgia is too mellow. Denmark stands out with a fun way of their own 80s, Portugal and Austria have decent live performances and stagings at the same time, one of which Fyr og Flamme might lack lol, but that doesn’t mean housewives don’t vote for something that reminds them of their youth years, no?

NF CORNER

Thankfully that apart from Ben & Tan fiasco you’re not missing out on much.

DMGP chose a weird kind of way to reveal entries - during 3 separate radio shows in between two channels amidst all kinds of random world&Danish popular music. During which presumably both radio stations played the soon-to-be-winning Fyr og Flamme’s entry a second time after the premiere. Like if we don’t know who’s winning already, huh, huh???

Well, there are at least some above-the-par entries, and a couple of my favourites were Emma Nicoline (synthpop in Danish which in her case of victory would’ve likely been translated in English???? hopefully not so we could’ve had a win-win in case Fyr og Flamme didn’t win) and Mike Tramp (yeehaw in English, and much different than what he did in Eurovision 1978 with the group Mabel and yet another song about rhythm, enough to incorporate live drum playing from a band member itself during the performance... their own prop drum, mind you). They probably sound a whole lot better in orcestra than they are in these studio versions, so go check them out on Youtube as well, if you’re willing. Much cheers

Also the funny thing about them - Jesper is from a little barely heard of island called Ærø, who coincidentally shares a flag with Lithuania’s, but their colors are much brighter than ours. I bring it up that it’s barely heard of because some Danish viewers (and the international ones that could’ve gotten a hold of the stream) were confused as to why Fyr og Flamme waved “Lithuanian” flags in the DMGP greenroom. I’ve heard about that as well. I know a person from Ærø. I was confused too at first. I’ve been there. And it’s thanks to that person I’ve heard of Fyr og Flamme. Ærø supports Ærø, it seems

ANY LAST WORDS?

Honestly, if they qualify (and so does Portugal), I lowkey hope for their NF to have more songs in their native language? Leonora went on to start something when singing a piece of her song in Danish, Fyr og Flamme continued the iniciative, lord knows if it continues to continue and give them a fruitful outcome in the end.

As for why I mentioned Portugal and language variety, well... there can still be winners in the Portuguese language, just it would be an initiative to RTP to invite more English-singing Portuguese songwriters who’d otherwise not really participate in FdC if they were asked to only sing in Portuguese? I don’t know, really. But yeah. Maybe.

#eurovision #eurovision 2021 #rotterdam 2021 reviews #denmark #fyr og flamme #Øve os på hinanden

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ohmightydevviepuu · 4 years

Text

our little life (rounded with a sleep) / chapter 4

our little life (rounded with a sleep) chapter four

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful detective. She had blonde hair, green eyes, no family, and she was good at finding people; in fact, she proclaimed this on her office door. “Swan and Humbert,” it said. “Private investigations, missing persons, and bail bonds.”

Only lately, she’s been thinking that maybe it should say “Emma Swan: Loner, Loser, Complicated wreck.”

Her partner’s been killed on a case after she made a deal with her landlord to find what had been taken from him. But when she tracks a possible perp to a bar on the outskirts of town, Emma will find out exactly how deep the rabbit hole goes.

(a FULL rewrite of “the stuff that dreams are made of” completed as part of the 2020 Captain Swan Big Bang Rewrite-a-Thon)

–

always, always, always because of @thisonesatellite, @profdanglaisstuff and @katie-dub

thanks again to the amazing team at @captainswanbigbang and to the amazing, fun, clever, brilliant and supportive group of participants there who kept me going

–

CW: canonical character death (minor character) rating: T/M (mild implied violence, language) AO3

Jamie Hook insists Emma accompany him to meet Regina Mills. And then he tells her a story.

Neither of those things goes particularly well.

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three

I’m out on a case tonight, Emma texted Mary Margaret while she waited for Hook to catch her up. Enjoy having the place to yourself, she added before slipping the phone back into a pocket. The text was meant to give her something to do, provide some kind of quick break for her mind and her thoughts to settle, but Hook’s mere presence seemed to make that impossible. The man himself was impossible--impossibly beautiful, impossibly infuriating, impossibly insightful--and he was still, technically, at a minimum, a person of interest in an active homicide investigation even before Emma considered her own case.

Still. He said he hadn’t done it, and Emma believed him. She was attracted to him, too, like that was even news--undoubtedly Hook had admirers of all genders, between his dark good looks and his attitude and the way he looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered in the world.

“Do me a favor, Swan, when we go in there,” he said seriously, and he was doing exactly that, looking intently at her, and his eyes were just so ridiculous and blue as he nodded toward the well-lit lobby of the Mills’ Organization office building. “Don’t believe I’m as crooked as I seem to be. I haven’t lived a good life, and I’ve done worse things than you can ever imagine. But if you can trust me, just a little--”

“Right,” Emma said. “The team thing again.”

“I think we can help each other, Swan. I’m not much for loyalty, but I’ll swear allegiance to whomever can help me. I was hoping it’d be you.”

“You want to kill him, don’t you?” Emma interrupted, because she had figured out at least that much in between the fairy-tale nonsense he’d spouted. Emma understood pissed, she understood revenge, she understood needing allies and most of all she understood two fucking years in Tallahassee and--

“You could have just asked me for the keys,” Neal had said, and smiled.

“Bye, Emma,” Henry had said, and smiled.

Hook was still staring at her. Deep breath.

“Gold took more than your hand from you,” she said, not asking. “He’s the one that killed her. That’s what this is all about for you.”

“You’re quite perceptive, Swan, for someone who’s never been in love,” he said.

Emma shrugged.

One second more of his eyes on her, Emma feeling like he could drill a hole into her head, and then his expression shifted all over again. “Alas, in this world, we are slaves to time, and it is getting quite late for a social call. Tick-tock, love, and put your hand right there, that’s a good girl.”

He led her not to the building but back to her car, talking over her protests. “Believe me, Swan, you don’t want to be on Regina’s radar yet any more than you already are. Give me but a moment to work my charms on the security guard before we set sail, yeah?” He held the car door open like a proper gentleman.

Emma looked at him, eyebrows raised. “Try something new, darling,” he said, his eyes pleading. “It’s called trust.”

Slowly, Emma nodded. “Get on with it, Hook,” she said, sitting down. “And don’t think for one second I’m taking my eyes off of you.”

“I would despair if you did,” Hook said with a wink, and walked in.

Emma pulled the car door closed and immediately regretted staying behind, though the view as Hook walked away was nothing to sneeze at. Her hand balled up into a fist as she banged it against the glass of the window; this was a bad idea.

She wasn’t sure if she meant the scheme--or Hook.

The look you get in your eyes when you’ve been left alone.

Emma sighed, giving one last bang on the glass, and wondered if she should just start the car and drive away.

“Be careful, Emma,” Hook said from the seat next to her, and Emma jumped. “You’re making a mistake.”

“I don’t want to talk to you about this,” Emma said, closing her eyes.

“You can’t always run just because you’re frightened,” Hook said. “Graham’s gone and you’re a part of something new and you’re already afraid.”

“Besides Graham, I don’t think I’ve ever been a part of anything,” she whispered.

“But you could be,” Hook said, reaching for a chain that hung around his neck and pulling it off, dangling a ring in the empty space between them. “Keep this,” he said. “You could do with a reminder.”

“A reminder of what?” Emma asked, but a loud knock on the window startled her awake.

“Forgotten me already?” Hook asked with a smirk. “Come, Swan, I’ve secured us an audience with Her Royal Highness, Regina Mills.”

Regina Mills’ office was a wide room, well-lit, with a wall of windows.

A shiver passed through Emma as Hook’s hand fell from the base of her spine, where it had been since they’d gotten on the elevator, a moment before they stepped through the door.

The decor was black and white and stark, tasteful and minimalistic, and the centerpoint was a desk facing away from the window wall. To access it, Hook and Emma had to walk down a sort of allee that showed off the inlay floor; on one side was a table that could seat six and on the other was a white couch facing a fireplace, with a statue of a horse anchoring the mantle. The wallpaper was a grim silhouette of a forest and a heavy chandelier dangled from the ceiling, the one point of color a large bowl overflowing with Red Delicious apples. Regina’s desk had no front piece--it balanced on a pair of elaborate sawhorses and gave anyone who cared to look a view of her legs, which were now on display as Regina was wearing a skirt with her jacket as opposed to the trousers Emma had seen earlier in the day. Like maybe the job of threatening Emma Swan had required a wardrobe change.

As for the woman herself, she was in a rage.

Emma was giving serious consideration to the idea that rage was Regina’s perpetual state; still, whatever Emma had seen of her that afternoon was nothing when taken against her reaction to the presence of Hook. And her, Emma. And her presence, there, in the company of Hook. Emma’s own outfit probably wasn’t helping matters, either--at least when it came to Regina, but Hook had more than once had his eyes trained, in a most ungentlemanly fashion, on her ass, and seemed to enjoy her outfit very much.

Yay.

Regina Mills was actually, by all appearances, several levels above rage and they were barely through the door. Even her eyes seemed to be on fire, alight with heat that was surely capable of melting steel. “Captain Hook,” she said silkily, her voice attempting to suppress all of the emotion already on display. “I’m positively delighted to see you again.”

Emma did not need to be either calm or focused to know that was a lie. The face was a dead giveaway.

“I was sure you would be,” Hook said, spreading his hands and inclining his head in a parody of a bow. The lack of affect in his voice was shocking--dry, sharp and uninterested; Emma suddenly missed the gentle touch that she had not invited at the small of her back as she was confronted with this stranger and his expressionless face. Even the liveliness of his eyebrows was missing, though Regina’s eyes still looked capable of shooting fire as her eyebrows went straight up into her hairline.

“The question is,” Regina said, “how you knew to find me at all.”

“It is rather, isn’t it?” Hook said, and nothing else, merely waiting for Regina to continue.

She was quiet for a moment and her gaze fell on Emma. “And the Swan girl,” she said dismissively. “Not the normal sort of company for a man like Captain Hook, even after all of this time.”

It was the name he’d given to the sleepy security guard--the name that had granted them entry--and it still startled Emma to hear it again. Was it somehow a real thing, and not just a joke? Had that been his rank in the Navy?

“Oh, Regina,” Hook sighed. “I thought you knew me better than that, after ‘all of this time’. You of all people should know I tend to favor brunettes.”

Gold had said much the same and Emma was enough of a detective to have deduced that the former--the late--Mrs. Gold must have had brown hair, only the comment clearly meant something else to Regina. Her eyes narrowed and Emma was, briefly, on her side--that was positively the worst excuse for making a pass Emma had ever seen, and she had once been picked up by the guy sleeping in the backseat of her stolen car.

Hook stood impassively; there was something charged in the air between them.

Understanding dawned on Regina’s face. “The maid,” she said flatly.

Hook nodded and gave another bow. “I do apologize,” he said, self-evidently not sorry at all. “I know you thought you were the only one who could charm Nurse Ratched and fly one out of the cuckoo’s nest. Given the circumstances, however, it seemed wise to acquire some leverage.” Hook’s face contorted into a leer as he said, “But then, you would know all about that--wouldn’t you?”

Regina’s expression, if it was possible, got even darker; Hook nodded, apparently satisfied.

“What are you doing here, Captain?”

“I’ve come to condole with you on the loss of your pet,” Hook said, and his sharp consonants were back, harsh and pointed now instead of playful and flirtatious, and Emma worked to hide her flinch.

“Was it you?”

“I’m flattered, Regina,” Hook said, holding up his left hand, “but we both know this is hardly capable of such a feat.”

“What happened to Graham Humbert?” Regina demanded. It was a command and Regina clearly expected to be obeyed.

Hook seemed equally determined to disappoint her, raising his eyebrows with a little smile. It was not a real smile, Emma noticed. It wasn’t even the fake smile he’d bestowed upon the co-eds at the bar.

It was a smile that had been twisted, made into something dark and cruel.

Hook stood silently until Regina’s hands balled up into fists on her desk. Then: “The Dark One,” he said simply.

“That’s not possible.” Regina’s hands relaxed and she trilled a laugh. “How much of your own bar’s rum have you been drinking, Hook?”

“Ah, yes,” Hook said in a lazy drawl. “The bar. Do allow me to thank you for that, Your Majesty. I so love a life spent in servitude to others. My ship in a bottle was a particularly pointed reminder that I did not understand what had agreed to when you offered me this...opportunity.”

Emma lost track somewhere around “Majesty”, but she did notice Regina’s lips curl very slightly upward--she was pleased with herself.

“But do consider, Majesty,” he pressed on, “whether you truly believe that you’ve kept the Dark One tame all of these years here in this realm, this Land Without Magic that was meant to keep him a prisoner. Do you truly believe that he has been here, all of this time, with no plans, no contingencies, and no means of acting upon them?” Regina’s expression shifted again, and Hook’s smile spread.

For a moment, no one moved or spoke, and then Regina repeated: “It’s not possible.”

Even Emma knew she said it in an attempt to convince herself.

“And yet,” Hook said, the words rolling off his tongue, “as you so wisely pointed out, I’ve managed to find you. I’ve taken steps.” He matched his actions to his words, pushing into Regina’s space, leaning over the desk and balancing his weight on the one hand.

“You think the maid is some kind of chess piece?” Regina scoffed.

“Do I look,” Hook said, “like I’m playing a game?”

“You’re still dedicated and resourceful, Hook,” Regina said grudgingly, “but Belle can’t help you kill Rumplestiltskin.”

“He’s Awake, Regina,” Hook countered. “And you’d have been stupid not to realize it the instant you saw what he did to Humbert.”

“Is that any way to address a queen?” Regina snapped, but Hook had obviously gotten to her. “Even a pirate should have better manners than that.”

“Oh,” Hook said, drawing out the syllable. “Perhaps I’m not crazy about your manners, either. Perhaps I’ve been grieving over them these past twenty-eight years, drinking rum behind my bar. You know what a persistent fellow I am, Regina. You know that twenty-eight years is barely a prologue for me. You of all people know what I am capable of, since you’ve seen fit to leave me with a daily reminder. But then--you’ve never been one for subtlety, have you?”

“Hook,” Regia said, her voice sharp with warning.

“Of course, Your Majesty, my manners,” Hook said. “I can see I’ve been remiss in not properly introducing--”

“Who is she?” Regina interrupted. “What is your purpose in bringing her here?”

“She is right here,” Emma said, glaring. “And she would love to know what the hell you two think is going on.” Because--’Dark One’? ‘Your Majesty’? ‘Captain’? Talking about Rumplestiltskin like that was an actual name for an actual person--this was so far down the rabbit hole that Emma was starting to wonder if a hookah-smoking caterpillar had dropped something into her rum.

Only--she hadn’t actually drank any of the rum, and she was making bad fairy tale puns in her head while Hook and Regina ignored her, as if she had served her purpose in this conversation, and she had been wrong because there was one thing Emma understood about all of this: leverage. She was part of Hook’s leverage, and as fury started to swirl up around here there was also the tiniest stab of disappointment and sadness, a faint wisp of not again.

“The child got away,” Hook said, and waited.

All trace of calm was gone from Regina and the rage had taken over. “Is this a joke, Captain? Something about Miss Swan’s ridiculous tattoo?”

Hook smirked again, the same cruel distortion of his lips, and shook his head. “I can’t count meself an expert, of course,” he said, “but I am a man of some considerable education and I’ve learned over the years of two things that are always true in a situation such as ours. Which one, Your Majesty, do you suppose is relevant here?”

That really got to her, Emma saw. Her entire body froze, her eyes widened and then shut completely for a minute until Regina visibly forced herself to open them again, and to face her interlocutor and his sickening, shit-eating grin.

“All curses can be broken,” Regina practically spat the words out at them.

And now, Emma thought, curses. Un-fucking-believable.

Regina and Hook, though, obviously both believed.

In curses.

“And yours, Regina, is weakening,” Hook said, pulling back from the desk and resuming his earlier stance, the fingers of his right hand wrapped around his belt. “Which brings us back to the subject of Humbert. Did you know he was hired and sent after me? Any guesses by whom?”

“No,” Regina said, her perfectly-painted lips pressed into a thin line.

“It would appear,” Hook continued, “that the Dark One has noticed that whatever you’ve taken has gone missing. ‘Tis a curious thing, no? For a man who, like me, should have no memory?” He paused. “Somehow, Regina, I don’t see that ending well for you.”

“Get. Out.” Regina gestured at the door with such force that Emma half-expected it to fly open by the force of her will alone. “Now. Both of you.”

“Willingly,” Hook intoned, accompanying it with another mocking bow. “Come, Swan, we’re done here.”

And they left.

Emma wanted to stalk off in a huff but her present footwear made that impossible. Not to mention, Hook was definitely staring at her ass again, and there was no point in prolonging his opportunity. She squared her shoulders, hands on her hips, legs slightly apart. Her best glare was on her face and she was back in do not fuck with me mode as Hook already had his arms up in a placating sort of gesture that Emma was absolutely, positively not in the mood for.

“Give me one good reason,” Emma said, “not to punch you in the face.” It ended up coming out as more of a snarl than a request but Emma was okay with that as long as it got her point across.

Hook easily caught the hand she hadn’t even consciously swung at him and gripped her wrist gently. “Considering I just did you a favor,” he said, his thumb rubbing absently across her skin, “that would be very bad form.” Hook didn’t go of her wrist; in fact, he tightened his grip and turned it so that it was facing up and the sleeve of her jacket had slipped up her arm until the flash of ink on skin was visible. “Now,” he said, “what is all of this palaver about a tattoo?”

Emma pulled her wrist back as if she had been stung, her hands going straight to her pockets. Her anger and frustration swirled around her, pulling her grief back to the surface. “No,” Emma said. “You do not get to screw with me right now. My partner is dead and whatever game you are playing has nothing to do with me. We are not a team and I am not helping you and you are going to tell me what the fuck just happened back there.”

“Regina’s been spooked, love,” he said. “She’ll look to protect whatever it was she took, which means that you shall be able to retrieve it on behalf of your...client.” He said the word as if it left an unpleasant taste in his mouth.

Emma glared at him some more, this time because he was right. It was an old bail bonds trick for smoking out a perp--a classic, really, and Emma should have thought of it for herself.

“You seem very sure of that,” Emma said. “In fact, you seem to know her pretty well. What happened between the two of you back there?”

“Nothing,” Hook said smoothly. “I’ve told you, Swan, I did some work for the family once, long ago.”

“How do I know that you don’t have whatever it is Gold is looking for? How do I know you didn’t steal from him?”

“Oh, I’ve stolen from him,” Hook said easily, then raised his eyebrows at her expression. “Not my Milah, Swan--she left him and he killed her for it, and it would be my preference not to speak of her further.”

Milah. “Just like my Milah, when the crocodile took her from me.”

Emma shook her head. “So what did you steal?”

“Nothing I’ve any intention of giving back,” Hook said with some finality. “And, as pertains to your particular mission, nothing he knows is missing.”

Belle. “Belle can’t help you kill Rumplestiltskin.”

“Belle,” Emma said. “The maid.”

“Impressive,” he said. “But know this, Swan: I do not traffic in unwilling women.”

“So Captain Hook is a pirate after all, then?”

The look you get when you’ve been left alone, he’d said, only he’d had it too, and Emma had got the sense that under all of that innuendo, there was someone just trying to keep the world enough at bay to slay his own demons. She’d thought that, against all odds, she was beginning to get a handle on him. They’d shared something, some moment of understanding, in spite of his delusions and his revenge fantasies; Emma had seen it in the way that he had looked at his brother.

In the way he’d looked at her.

Then she had stood in a room with him, watching him face off against Regina, and it was like she was seeing an entirely different person--and the worst part was, she was pretty sure none of what he said had been a lie.

Cruses and Queens and Rumple-fucking-stiltskin in a “Land Without Magic” and he seemed to think all of that was true.

“What aren’t you telling me about you and ‘Her Majesty’, Captain?”

“Nothing,” Hook insisted. “That’s my tale and I’m sticking to it.”

“Not good enough,” Emma snapped. “I want answers, Hook. Real ones.”

“I don’t know what else you want me to say,” Hook said, and suddenly she was back with the man she’d met in the bar and he was watching her like she was the only thing he ever wanted to look at.

Emma shifted her head, turning away from his gaze, and crossed her arms, feeling the leather there--battle mode, activated. She couldn’t stomp her foot--the shoes again--but she took a step back. It was deja-vu; they had already done this dance tonight, and she was no closer to knowing who’d killed Graham even if he was right about retrieving Gold’s property from Regina Mills.

“Who are you, really?”

“James Hook,” he said. “That’s my name. That’s been my name as long as I’ve been in this world, I swear to you.”

“James Hook,” Emma said, “is a character from a story book. So is Rumplestiltskin. Curses are not real, and there is no way that you have known Regina Mills for twenty-eight years unless you worked for her family when you were seven years old, and that is definitely too young to have enlisted in the Royal Navy even if you came by way of Neverland.”

Hook was quiet, and he hesitated before speaking. “I spent many years in Neverland,” he said.

“Did you get there through a rabbit hole?” Emma retorted, her temper flaring. “On your way to Wonderland?”

“Travel between realms does require a portal,” Hook said, still serious, then: “I’m going to tell you a story, Swan.”

Something about the soft, serious tone of his voice kept her still, waiting for whatever he might say next.

“Once upon a time, there was an enchanted forest, and its denizens included all of the fairy tale characters you think you know, until they found themselves in a place where all of their happy endings had been stolen.” He paused and said, “This world, Swan. The Land Without Magic. Time stopped, and everyone was trapped, and that was Regina’s victory; but magic always comes with a price--and all curses can be broken.”

All curses can be broken.

“You can’t be serious,” Emma said.

“It was prophesied that the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, the product of True Love, would, on her twenty-eighth birthday--”

“No,” Emma interrupted. “Stop talking. And definitely stop pretending you know anything about me or my life with your open-book garbage.”

“Alas, love,” he said, and he sounded resigned. “I know you better than you know yourself--I know who you are and where you came from. I know what became of your parents and why you grew up alone. Your parents’ entire kingdom was cursed. They sent you here to break it. And all of it is because of Regina Mills and Robert Gold.”

“My parents?” Emma wanted to laugh, but the noise she made didn’t come close to that. “Their kingdom? A curse? Do you know what you sound like?”

Emma would later blame the sheer ridiculousness of the situation for why she didn’t notice the flashing lights headed in their direction.

“The tattoo is proof,” he said. “A buttercup. It was part of your father’s heraldry.”

“You’re telling me fairy tales,” Emma said.

“They’re not fairy tales,” Hook insisted. “They’re true. Every story you’ve read, some version of it has actually happened. You, Swan, have been here more than a year but it was on your birthday that something happened, am I correct? Your twenty-eighth birthday?”

The lights were closer, now, and they were attached to a sheriff’s cruiser.

“You kissed the Hunter, Swan,” he continued relentlessly, “and despite your protestations you must have felt something for him, some connection, or it would not have allowed the curse to weaken its hold on him.”

David Nolan was at the wheel, and he was pulling up alongside them. He put the car in park, lights still flashing, and opened his door. He called her name but made straight for Hook.

“James Hook?”

Hook nodded, wary, his eyes moving straight toward Emma. Emma just held up her hands, a mirror of his earlier gesture. Not me, she mouthed.

“There’s been a complaint of harassment made against you,” Nolan said. “And you’re needed for questioning in the matter of Graham Humbert’s death.” David had gotten Hook’s hands behind his back, pulling out the cuffs.

“I’m devastated, love,” Hook said, and his voice was deadly calm as the first bracelet clinked. “Didn’t you even want to do the honors?” His eyes, his beautiful blue eyes, were like chips of ice as he stared at her.

“Call me ‘love’ one more time,” Emma said, “and you will lose the other hand.”

“Emma,” Hook said, and there was a note of pleading in his voice. “Did I tell you a lie?”

She ignored him, ignored David calling her name again and got back into her car, starting it and shifting and pulling away before Hook was fully situated in the backseat of the cruiser. She was going to move the car, park it again, and stake out Regina.

She was not going to spend the night thinking about James Hook and Graham Humbert and what Graham could possibly have gotten into with him. She was not going to think about Hook’s delusions and Graham’s death. She was not going to think about Neal or the look in Hook’s eyes when he had spoken to her and how, against all of her better instincts, Emma might actually have believed him.

Just because you believe something does not make it real, Emma reminded herself as she watched the cruiser drive away. She couldn’t take the chance that she was wrong about him--more importantly, she would not take the chance that she was right. Look out for yourself and you never get hurt , Emma reminded herself, and then did what she was best at: she ran.

@shireness-says @carpedzem @mariakov81 @kmomof4 @stahlop @snowbellewells @spartanguard @optomisticgirl @nikkiemms @searchingwardrobes @scientificapricot

guys, i have no idea about tags. i have no idea if they are working, or not working, or if people want them. if you like them, thank you for reading! if you don’t, apologies for spam--just LMK 🤣

#csrt #our little life (rounded with a sleep)#cs rewrite a thon #cs fic #captain swan rewrite a thon #canon divergenc #s1 divergence #cursed!killian #an alternate theory of the curse

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televinita · 3 years

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Books Read In 2020: The Why

In a tradition I accidentally started for myself in 2016 and now quite enjoy, at the end of the year I look back at my reading list and answer the question, why did you read this particular book?

Below, my 100 reads of 2020 are split into groups by target readership age, plus nonfiction at the end, now with a bonus note about how I heard of it. Which I probably won’t continue to do next year, but it was fun to try.

ADULT FICTION

I read each of these books because...

A Glitter of Gold - Liz Johnson. 2019. It had me at "her pirate tour business," but between the shipwreck & the museum-director love interest it was like BLOOD & TREASURE ROMANCE AU LET'S GOOO.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Last Woman in the Forest - Diane Les Becquets. 2019. Recommended by a dog lover; I'm down for a thriller about a woman who has a dream dog-inclusive job like this.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman. 1990. I really enjoyed the miniseries and wanted to see if the book everyone loved so much was as good (for the record: it was not. at least not if you’ve seen the miniseries first; otherwise they are probably equal).

This Is Home - Lisa Duffy. 2019. Attractive cover + I flipped it open to a random page and just liked the writing style.

How I heard of it: library

Dear Mr. Knightley - Katherine Reay. 2013. I'd had this on the back burner for a while because the MC sounded like me, and one day I got sick of not being able to find any fluffy contemporary romances with beta male heroes and decided Matthew Gray Gubler was gonna star in this one. (spoiler alert: it is a good book but that did not work)

How I heard of it: a book blog

Rubbernecker - Belinda Bauer. 2013. Criminal Minds sent me into a tailspin so I went hunting for books to cast Spencer Reid in again; the Asperger's/case-solving/difficult relationship with mother combo sounded promising. (spoiler alert: the med-student element + his social cluelessness proved too strong and I was only able to picture the kid from The Good Doctor)

How I heard of it: Googling keywords

The Swiss Affair - Emylia Hall. 2013. I got a random hankering for a student/teacher novel, and after scrutinizing the library catalog this was the only one that fit my parameters for gender, lack of adultery, and focus on romance over sex.

How I heard of it: library

Love At First Bark - Debbie Burns. 2019. I was trying to cast Wes/Jules [Dollface] in a romance novel, so I browsed through a Goodreads friend's "dog-romance" shelf and accidentally landed in a Jeid AU [Criminal Minds]. Which may or may not have been a large part of what turned me into a Jeid shipper (outside canon only).

The Mermaids Singing - Val McDermid. 1995. One final attempt to cast Reid in a novel -- a user in a Reddit post asking for this very thing suggested this, and "profiler with idiosyncracies" certainly fit.

The Wire in the Blood [and 9 subsequent novels] - Val McDermid, spanning 1997-2019. Turns out aside from being British, Reid paints onto Tony Hill EXCEPTIONALLY well, and I accidentally found myself with a little Jeid AU in the process, so obviously I read the entire series. Good crime-solving fun and all that.

Horse - Talley English. 2018. Random library pull because I connected with the writing style and it appeared to actually focus on horses.

How I heard of it: library

A Sparkle of Silver - Liz Johnson. 2018. I liked the author's other book and this was pretty much a remix of the same story, but now with a cool mansion/estate setting.

How I heard of it: looking up other books by this author

Everyone Is Beautiful - Katherine Center. 2009. Went looking for stories about strong marriages, found this on a Goodreads list of "second chance marriage" books, tripped into something like a season 9 Jim/Pam scenario. How I heard of it: Googling keywords

The Lost Husband - Katherine Center. 2013. Loved the previous book of hers I read, and the "starting life over on a goat farm" angle sounded like an ideal life to try on.

How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Shadow Year - Hannah Richell. 2013. Fixing up an old house?? I am THERE. Doing this in two timelines, one of which involves off-the-grid homesteading, is even better.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Mandrake Root - Janet Diebold. 1946. I needed a non-library book to bring on vacation, and after spinning in circles over what I thought would appeal to my mood in that setting, my brain randomly said "reread this one."

How I heard of it: estate sale

Path of the Jaguar - Vickie Britton & Loretta Jackson. 1989. Bought cheap for cheap thrills: a Yucatan adventure/mystery. Read now so I could get rid of it. How I heard of it: library sale

Burying Water - K.A. Tucker. 2014. The library didn't have The Simple Wild, but they DID have a book w/ an equally pretty cover that talked about a badly beaten young amnesiac (!) recovering on a horse farm (!!). What is: my top romance trope (hurt/comfort, bonus points for animals and rural setting).

How I heard of it: library

Happiness for Beginners - Katherine Center. Established quality author + summertime hiking inspiration.

How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Visitors - Simon Sylvester. Cool cover + setting, and a teenage protagonist usually makes adult fiction more accessible. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Becoming Rain - K.A. Tucker. 2014. I was in this companion novel solely for mentions of Alex and any people by the last name of Wells, but figured I might as well read all of it to ensure I didn't miss any. How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Guest List - Lucy Foley. 2020. Honestly, it just sounded like a cool thriller (and cool setting). How I heard of it: a book blog

You Deserve Nothing - Alexander Maksik. 2011. Fell down a Will/Rachel [Glee] rabbit hole and ravaged the student/teacher keyword in my library catalog again to scratch the itch.

The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson. 1959. Mom's been trying to get me to read this for years, and this time when it came up in conversation it was the right time of year, so I randomly decided to give it a shot. How I heard of it: Mom

The Walker in Shadows - Barbara Michaels. 1979. Gothic ghost story + beautiful architectural details in a historic house = yeah!

How I heard of it: Goodwill

YOUNG ADULT

People Like Us - Dane Mele. 2018. Needed an audiobook; a girls' boarding school murder mystery seemed most likely to hold my attention of the limited options. How I heard of it: Library

The Possibility of Now - Kim Culbertson. 2016. I will read anything by this author, and girl having a meltdown over a test = me. How I heard of it: looking up other books by this author

Rob&Sara.com - P.J. Petersen & Ivy Ruckman. 2004. Mostly I wanted to go back to my high school days and enjoy the format of a novel written in emails, but also, I like Ruckman. How I heard of it: used book sale

For Real - Alison Cherry. 2014. Fictional Amazing Race!! + awesome summery cover + sisters How I heard of it: library sale

The Summer After You + Me - Jennifer Salvato Doktorski. 2015. The awesome summery cover, mostly. How I heard of it: a book blog

You'd Be Mine - Erin Hahn. 2019. Gorgeous cover + the chance to vicariously follow a budding young country music star on tour for the summer.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Juniors - Kaui Hart Hemmings. 2015. The neat setting(s): a live-in guest on a wealthy estate in Hawaii. How I heard of it: Dollar store

Lion Boy's White Brother - Alden G. Stevens. 1951. Bought cheap because vintage juvenile book in a unique setting. Read now to see if I could get rid of it (NOPE).

How I heard of it: used bookstore

The O.C.: Spring Break - Aury Wallington. 2005. I keep meaning to finish this short series, and it was an easy title to count for my Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Echo Island - Edward Karlow. 2017. Bought cheap because of the beautiful summery cover; easy read for Mount TBR so I could get rid of it. How I heard of it: library sale

Confessions of a High School Disaster - Emma Chastain. 2017. Read because of THE SUPER CUTE SUMMERY COVER (and diary format).

How I heard of it: Dollar store

Kentucky Daughter - Carol J. Scott. 1985. Working my way down the “Inappropriate Student/Teacher Relationships in YA" list because I'm in that kind of mood this year; chose this because 80s books tend to deliver the subject best*, the character reminded me of the girl in Send No Blessings, and Open Library had it. *this one was just blatant sexual harassment, though, and belonged very literally on that list

How I heard of it: Goodreads

What They Always Tell Us - Martin Wilson. 2008. I sorted the library catalog to see the oldest contemporary YA novels they still have before they get weeded, and "loner being taken under the wing of his older brother's (male) friend and falling in love with him" hit a couple of good tropes. How I heard of it: library

Bobby's Watching - Ted Pickford. 1993. Browsing around on OpenLibrary and saw they FINALLY had a copy of this book that scared me too much to finish as a kid, and which I've wanted to revisit ever since I remembered what it's called (Interlibrary Loan doesn't have it and it's Not Cheap to buy).

How I heard of it: library

Powwow Summer - Nahanni Shingoose. 2019. Always interested in modern-day Indigenous girls connecting w/ their heritage, especially if they're from my home state's tribe.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Princesses of Iowa - M. Molly Backes. 2012. Appealing cover + heft suggesting a solid Midwestern contemporary, plus I liked the student teacher element (without a slash this time, as in "college student who is almost a teacher")

How I heard of it: library

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - Ann Brashares. 2001. The Second Summer of the Sisterhood - Ann Brashares. 2003.

Long-intended reread of a college fave because I wanted see Mike Vogel in the movie, and it was summer so the stars aligned. Continued because the first book was as good as I remembered. (I would have kept going but Life distracted me for a bit and by the time I was back on track, it was no longer summer) How I heard of it: I...can't remember. Am the worst!

The Distance From Me To You - Marina Gessner a.k.a. Nina de Gramont. 2015. Hiking inspiration + an appealing-sounding romance. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Where Have All the Tigers Gone? - Lynn Hall. 1989. Will read any of her books, but specifically read this one because it seemed fairly autobiographical, and I read it NOW because it seemed durable enough to take on vacation. How I heard of it: looking up books by this author

And Both Were Young - Madeline L'Engle. 1949 (text of 1983 edition w/ material from original manuscript added back). Something reminded me of its existence and I requested it because it was the only non-animal-focused vintage teen novel I could physically get my hands on before Interlibrary Loan opened back up, and I had a craving for just that.

How I heard of it: library

The Other Side of Lost - Jessi Kirby. 2018. Established quality author + throw me ALL the thru-hike novels!

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Vow - Jessica Martinez. 2013. Perfect scenario to run an Abed/Annie [Community] AU!

How I heard of it: I want to say...an article on a book website (not personal blog this time) back in 2013.

Moon and Me - Hadley Irwin. 1981. Was just in the mood to read an 80s teen novel and this one helped me knock off a title for the Mount TBR challenge. From an author I like, w/ bonus horse content.

How I heard of it: used book sale.

Suicide Notes From Beautiful Girls - Lynn Weingarten. 2015. I bought a blind bag at the library sale and this was one of the only contemporary YA novels in it; figured I might as well read it since I'd liked a previous book of hers.

How I heard of it: Library

History Is All You Left Me - Adam Silvera. 2016.

With the Glee rabbit hole came a Klaine spiral; this was my season 4 Tragic AU dream for them and I've been saving it for a Klainey day ever since it was published. (No I am not sorry for that horrid pun.)

How I heard of it: googling keywords

The Museum of Heartbreak - Meg Leder. 2016. The cool cover/concept of a "museum" of items reeled me in; I bought a copy a while ago 'cause the library didn't have it. Read now to see if I could get rid of it (NOPE).

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Me & Mr. J - Rachel McIntyre. 2015. Student/teacher novel that looked especially appealingly tame so I'd been saving it, but then Open Library notified me it was now only available in 1-hour increments, and I got paranoid it would disappear altogether (it's not cheap to buy or available via ILL), so I wanted it in my brain.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Dear Evan Hansen - Val Emmich w/ Steven Levenson, Benj Pasek & Justin Paul. 2018. Fell in love with the DEH soundtrack. Play's summary sounded good -- getting to experience it in YA novel form?? Amazing.

How I heard of it: Wikipedia

Saddle a Thunderbolt - Jo Sykes. 1967

Bought a while ago because vintage horse story. Read now specifically to alleviate my pre-homesickness about moving by imagining living in an even more beautiful place than home.

How I heard of it: either a used book sale or a used bookstore...

Learning to Breathe - Janice Lynn Mather. 2018. This was mentioned on a lost-book forum and "girl with unplanned pregnancy supports herself by getting a job cleaning" piqued my interest; the setting (Bahamas) and cover made it better.

How I heard of it: Reddit

Everglades Adventure - James Ralph Johnson. 1970. Standard vintage boys' adventure-in-nature story; I like those.

How I heard of it: Goodwill

CHILDREN’S/MIDDLE GRADE

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott. 1868. Seeing the new movie and falling head over heels was what it took to FINALLY convince me to reread this childhood fave.

How I heard of it: can't remember; I was a kid

A Little Princess - Frances Hodgson Burnett. 1905. I was perusing a lot of books about classic children's books and it started to bug me that I had skipped this appealing-sounding one as a kid.

How I heard of it: can't remember; I was a kid

Little Men - Louisa May Alcott. 1871. LW sparked a fandom revival and I wanted more detail about the Marches' adult lives (esp. Jo & Bhaer), even on the fringes.

How I heard of it: library

Lady and the Tramp - Ward Greene. I saw a quote from the new movie under a gifset on Tumblr that sounded like it came from a book, and upon Googling out that one existed, I obviously could not allow the book version of a beloved childhood animal-movie fave to go unread. Especially after finding out it was super rare so reading it would be a privilege.

The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett. 1910. Read for the same reason as A Little Princess. Can’t have one without the other, you know.

How I heard of it: was a kid; can't remember

The Mother-Daughter Book Club - Heather Vogel Fredericks. 2007. Much Ado About Anne - Heather Vogel Fredericks. 2008.

Always thought the series looked cute/reminded me of The Teashop Girls, but the fact that the first book they read is Little Women gave me the impetus to finally read this one. First book was darling so I continued to the next (but failed to continue beyond because COVID shut the library down until I was out of the mood).

How I heard of it: library

Nature Girl - Jane Kelley. 2010. I wanted walking inspiration.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

From You to Me - K.A. Holt. 2018. Mistook it for a similar-looking book I'd seen at the same time (See You On A Starry Night), but figured I'd give the 8th grade bucket list idea a shot once I had it. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Semiprecious - D. Anne Love. 2006. Cute cover + I'm starting to be a big fan of what I call "contemporary historical," for stories set mid-20th century.

How I heard of it: library

Dandy's Mountain - Thomas Fall. 1967. Vintage horse-inclusive children's book in a rural setting, I'm sold. Not to mention, love reading a summer setting in summer.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Littler Women: A Modern Retelling - Laura Schaefer. 2017. The only way to make the Little Women MORE magical is to make them younger, modern, and written by a proven quality author.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Behind The Attic Wall - Sylvia Cassedy. 315 pg/1983.

A Goodreads friend strongly recommended it as similar to but better than Mandy, and reading about it in 100 Best Books For Children sealed the deal. Read now for the Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Jigsaw Jungle - Kristin Levine. 2018. I am a COMPLETE sucker for books told in non-traditional/scrapbook-esque format.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Runt - Marion Dane Bauer. 2002. Wolf story by a quality author. Read now after owning it for a decade to see if I could get rid of it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

The King of the Cats - Rene Guillot. 1959. Bought cheap for a quick read because vintage animal story. Read now so I could get rid of it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Just The Beginning - Betty Miles. 1976. Found cheap; always down to read a vintage book about an average girl (and I wanted to know how she'd cope with her mom being "a cleaning lady in a town full of classmates who HAVE cleaning ladies").

How I heard of it: used book sale

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling. 1997. Been meaning to reread the series for a while now; finally got motivation to check out the illustrated edition 'cause Christmastime.

How I heard of it: originally Mom; a book blog for this edition

Echo Mountain - Lauren Wolk. 2020. Almost entirely because of the incredible clipart cover, promising me nature and a dog (and because I could get it as an e-audiobook from the library).

How I heard of it: a book blog

Knock Three Times - Cressida Cowell. 2019. I needed another audiobook for bedtime/walks and I know that David Tennant will provide.

How I heard of it: more by this author (more accurately, narrator)

NONFICTION

The Red Leather Diary: Reclaiming A Life Through The Pages Of A Lost Journal - Lily Koppel. 2008. I'm kind of obsessed with the concept of historical 5-year diaries -- and finding one like this is The Dream.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I'd Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life - Anne Bogel. 2018. Attractive and compact book about the pleasures of being a reader? A headspace I want to be in.

How I heard of it: library

100 Best Books for Children - Anita Silvey. 2004. I'm big on looking at lists of books for children this year. These are the kind of books I know, love, and want to hear people talk about, now that I know books about these books exist.

How I heard of it: library

The Coming of Saska - Doreen Tovey Originally bought because it was cheap and featured animals, I needed a non-library book to bring on vacation, and this one is a durable ex-library copy in plastic wrap that featured a similar setting to where I was going, so: thematic.

Cats in the Belfry - Doreen Tovey. 1957. Wanted more of her books, and lo and behold the library had the first one.

How I heard of it: more by this author

Sorry Not Sorry - Naya Rivera. 2016. I'll read anything the Glee kids write, and this doubled as an easy number for the Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: entertainment news websites

Living Large in Our Little House - Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell. 2016. I love tiny houses. And this one specifically mentioned living with dogs. And had color photographs.

How I heard of it: used bookstore

I'm Your Biggest Fan: Awkward Encounters and Assorted Misadventures in Celebrity Journalism. - Kate Coyne. 2016. Found cheap at a library sale -- loved the chapter headings and the fact that they were all about celebrities I knew.

Adrift - Tami Oldham Ashcraft w/ Suesea McGearheart. 1998/2018 edition. The movie was so awesome that I couldn't wait for more details about the real story in her own words.

I'll Be Gone In The Dark [NF] - Michelle McNamara. 2018. Been reading a lot of true crime write-ups on Reddit lately; decided it was time to pick up this well-received one.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Dear Evan Hansen: Waving Through A Window - Steven Levenson. 2017. Much like The Grimmerie for Wicked, once I fell in love with the DEH soundtrack and looked up the plot summary, I wanted to read the musical's detailed background/behind the scenes story + libretto before I watched it.

How I heard of it: Wikipedia

Empty Mansions: The Mysterious Life of Huguette Clark and the Spending of a Great American Fortune - Bill Dedman & Paul Clark Newell. 2013. Love me a story about a mansion (or three). Or the reclusive and insanely wealth heiress who owns them, that works too.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

JUVENILE NONFICTION Mascots: Military Mascots from Ancient Egypt to Modern Korea - Fairfax Downey. 1954. Animal book from an author I like; read now to see if I could get rid of it (yes).

How I heard of it: secondhand bookstore

Come on, Seabiscuit - Ralph Moody. 1963. Bought because vintage kids' horse book; read now to see if I could get rid of it (and to count it towards my Mount TBR challenge 'cause it was short).

How I heard of it: secondhand bookstore

#why i read

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moondrama · 4 years

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High time I watched Emma 2020.

Actually I'll treat myself with it tomorrow. Tomorrow is my thesis proposal defense which I am rather looking forward to get done with 🙃 I've made a list of all the tiny things (tea, cricket, walking, rain, YouTube videos I've delayed watching and just other normal everyday things) that make me happy that I'll be able to enjoy after the defense. I made the list to keep reminding myself that the defense won't be the end of everything and that there will be fun things to look forward to later and that life will go on lmao (can you tell I'm nervous 🙃).

#emma 2020 #i hope the movie doesn't disappoint #i also started a new agatha christie book #which I've also paused reading #to continue after the defense

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cinemaocd · 4 years

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so, you know things about regency era fashion? i'm dying to know how the latest Emma did in general, i love historical fashion but I'm not super into regency and as a result i know next to nothing. so like, were things accurate sort of?

Great question! I am not an expert, but I do know things. I’ve attended numerous Jane Austen events (national JASNA conventions) where I immersed myself in Regency fashion, attended lectures and read books about it.

I would give the new adaptation an 8 out of 10 for accuracy, with the caveat that the bar is now very, very high for historical costuming in film. In the 70s and 80s it was enough to get the silhouette correct. In the 90s and oughts, the materials needed to look more authentic. Now, those things need to be correct but also methods of tailoring, finishing, details, and hair/accessories, all are steeped in the period. And the average viewer knows more too while the cameras are vastly better, so even with TV you have high def. Things that were acceptable 20-30 years ago, just don’t cut it today.

I think the materials used all looked period correct for the most part (with a few exceptions), the details were period correct (with a few exceptions) and the costumes were appropriate for the characters, for the most part (again a few exceptions.) which is how I came up with the rating.

Most of the materials used looked to be natural fibers/dyes and historically accurate patterns and methods. One of my favorite outfits was Mr. Woodhouse’s suit that looked like it was made out of a woven linen drapery material with a bold floral pattern. I loved this because in the period of Napoleonic wars accessibility to silk brocades was often limited because of blockade. Because of that British fabrics would have been the only thing affordable/available and were also considered patriotic. I loved this suit because while the pattern looked like something that would be on a silk brocade, the fabric wasn’t silk. Also I just love the idea of this middle aged, very dressy fashionable man. It so fun to see and often men who are dressy in period dramas are villains or fops. Mr. Woodhouse while a satirical character, is neither. He would have been a young man in the 18th century when wearing lots of ornate clothes was the way to seem powerful, because wealth and power were equated. Simplicity for masculinity was just coming into style at this period and one expects an older man to not really care or not quite get it. Also Bill Nighy just looks so adorable and dapper in his fussy clothes. Mr. Knightley also wears homespun, but his suit is the simpler, more familiar Regency style. A perfect detail for a patriotic man like Mr. Knightely and one whose spare money is tied up in his estate.

A bad example of fabric not being quite the thing was all the very elaborate laces that were worn at the neck on the ladies. Not only would lace be very expensive and beyond the means of people like Miss Bates, lace was considered rather unpatriotic at times as it often came from France. So while the aesthetic of these elaborate, fussy collars was really cool, it just didn’t fit with the period or the characters, I think. As the Regency wore on women’s dresses did get more elaborately ornate in decoration, but if you are assuming this took place the year the book was written 1815, England was still very much in the throws of the romantic sensibility that came from France at the turn of the century.

The style of this adaptation was very over the top. It reminded me of a Wes Anderson film in its emphasis on the aesthetics and production design. Given this, I think it should get a certain amount of leeway in the way of period accuracy. For example, Mrs. Elton’s bizarre sculptural hairdos were part of the characterization, never mind that I don’t think they were something you would have seen in a country village in England in 1815. The tiny spiral curls that Emma wore were historically on point, while Mr. Woodhouse’s modern blow dried coiffure was badly done. The men’s trouser’s were a mixed bag as well. Knightley and Frank Churchill’s were actually tailored to fit, but Robert Martin was wearing what look like the knit stretchy pants they wore in the 1970s adaptations.

Clothing was an important cue to status and wealth, and there were so many subtle shadings like Harriet’s beautiful kaleidoscope knitted spencer which aped Emma’s exquisitely tailored pink spencer from all the trailers and posters. Harriet’s little jacket created the silhouette while also providing some warmth and color but clearly was far more humble. Just absolutely *chef’s kiss* Also can I say one of the most glorious moments for the costume nerd in me, was the scene where Emma was being fitted for a new pillesse and the tailoring was evident? I’ve seen clothing hand-tailored like this in professional theater workshops and the level of detail and hand work being done now is incredible. That just made me so unreasonably happy.

Another glorious detail was all Mrs. Godard’s school girls with their matching red capes. I know a lot of people associate these with the Hand Maid’s Tale, but they were very much the style in England at the time. So much so that when the French attempted to invade the sailors thought the landing place was garrisoned because they saw squads of red coats running around. In reality what they’d seen through their spy glasses was groups of school girls in matching red capes! This also explained why the director had them move in lock step like a unit around the village.

As I mentioned earlier, the lace on Mrs. Bates was all wrong. I know they just wanted something that looked unattractive and spinsterish, but such huge pieces of lace would not be affordable for someone who lived in rented rooms with her mother and took charity from the whole village. And the lace chokers that Emma and Mrs. Elton wore, just seemed bizarre to me, almost like little Elizabethan ruffs, something out of another period altogether.

There were some great accessories though, like the crazy over the top hats in church, Emma’s beautifully fitted shoes and gloves and all the coral earrings and beads. Coral was a big fashion trend and I liked that even Harriet had a humble set of very small beads while Emma had big pieces of coral dangling from her ears. And the topaz cross necklace that Emma wears is very similar to one given to Jane Austen by her sailor brother Charles when he took a privateer. It’s worth noting that Fanny receives a similar cross from her sailor brother in Mansfield Park. Replica crosses exactly like the one in the film are sold at every Jane Austen market and gathering.

OK I guess I had a lot of feelings and opinions about Emma 2020. Overall it’s a wonderful film. It’s an excellent, if not perfect adaptation that is just spot on in its tone and humor. I like seeing a Jane Austen adaptation where the emphasis is on the humor and the social satire. All this and it was still romantic and even a little sexy. What fun!

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spookyjudgement · 3 years

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GBBO 2020 reactions episode 1 because I guess I’m just Like That.

Actual humor from a Prue & Paul GBBO? Fascinating

I can’t believe they had them live in a fucking GBBO village. I suppose it makes sense if I think about it but it’s also s o much for a tv show. Oh well, I guess we’re benefiting from it.

Initial mood is to stan the man who decides he can be called Hamish like his dog.

high...quality...back...garden...badminton. I appreciate the GF representation...but...high quality back garden badminton...

I want Sura to do well, but given her preview shots I’m scared for her.

Show editors stop poking at Loriea (side note, beautiful name) for using bubblegum and cream soda! let her do what she wants! I don’t particularly care for it but I’m sure there are people who like it!

AND LOOK A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE ARE USING ARTIFICIAL COLOR IN THEIR MARZIPAN SO WHY’D YOU SHIT ON LORIEA FOR DOING IT IN HER CAKE

Rowan is an excellent name to have. He’s pretty hardcore classic-oriented between the mozart + the grecian temple battenberg, huh.

I appreciate Mak and his pistachios it’s so! fucking! desi! Did he name is battenberg or did the production team decide to call it the East Indian Battenberg?

Egg replacement let’s GO! Hermine!!!!

Rowan is honestly representing with the CD case cutting guide. I feel that energy. That’s my crafting energy.

OH GOD THE RAW CAKES ROWAN WITH THE MICROWAVE (confirmed he and I share chaotic crafting and baking energy) but he also terrifies me

Lottie with the stripes! honestly! Stan! Also if Noel could stop distracting her that would be great.

How the fuck did Rowan make that cake with that little time left???????

Ah fuck now I have to hear Prue and Paul talk

I’m gonna fuck paul up what is complicated about ginger orange and pistachio if you can handle an almond marzipan you can handle a pista one too once again paul and prue’s bland ass tastebuds let us down.

??? The ambulance is so cute! what do they mean lacking identity???

I like the diffusion there, still feel like they did Loriea dirty with the editing.

As a proud maximalist aesthetic girl, I think Hamish’s battenberg looks fine!

why is paul always so rough????? it’s a cake not dirt to be shoveled???

LMAO DECONSTRUCTED TEMPLE

I’m HERE for Sura’s neat battenberg! Also iconic with the half of the battenberg being at the bottom of the oven.

Lottie reminds me of Emma Stone in some shots. Also middle-of-the-road...iconic.

When are they not testing timings and consistency on the technical??? Shut up Paul.

Stop roasting Loriea NOEL LET HER LIVE! (side note her makeup is impressive)

Linda please read omg

Lottie with the tear it with your hands traybake idea is a mood. Feral energy, I like it.

Hamish :’( please butter your tins :’(

I’m living for the turning out and all the pineapple surgery.

Linda :’( well at least she’s staying calm

Sura???? is iconic

Ok time for the preview moment thanks I’m braced I’m gonna hate this. Poor Sura... :’(

Thank you Matt for cracking her up, we all needed the laugh, that was a good moment. I’m glad the other contestant understood...it wasn’t Sura’s fault at all.

Oh dear the cream’s really coming off of most of them huh. Fair tbh.

Badminton boy is surprisingly reliable. As is Sura <3 Also, as always, shut up Paul! I knew Sura was gonna get first, she’s a sweetheart, I’m sorry she couldn’t celebrate it.

Glad Linda took that well...I feel bad for her and Hamish. Pretty positive on this bunch tbh? I feel like I haven’t seen much of other Mark.

A...3D...cake bust??????? wtf???? weird-ass-challenge. Can Paul and Prue please do this alongside the bakers? Just so they can have some compassion for this? (as always, shut up Paul)

Loreia’s choice...excellent...the quality...also if Paul and Prue comment on the spices I’m gonna...I’m gonna.

Marmosets are coming for Sura~~~~

Rowan...rowan please...rowan...why must you go super complicated always...Rowan you are completely bonkers like you said.

I’m watching between Peter and Loriea who gets criticized. Loriea’s will taste like something for sure, but will Paul and Prue go for basic-ass English flavors?

I...hate fondant. I feel bad for all of these people.

Lupita! And excellent choice Hermine!!!!!!!! <3 also those eyes sound...terrifying but I’ll stand by you Hermine!!!!!

Mak is a bit strange for me watch because he has a ton of desi uncle mannerisms without a desi accent. All the uncle’s I know are first gen immigrants so it’s a bit of...cognitive dissonance.

This challenge is a nightmare...these poor bakers. Also Linda and Lottie LMAO. Time flies when you’re having fun WHO SAID THEY’RE HAVING FUN!

MAKING BOOBS ON NATIONAL TV HERMINE I LOVE YOU

Sura helping Laura like an actual sweetheart and Peter offering to help Rowan this is the wholesomeness I’m here for. And everyone cheering Sura on when hers fell, honestly live for it. I suppose when you’re all being made to do a fucking cake bust that’s the an experience where you can bond over how hard and ridiculous an ask it is.

Peter’s is...so simplistic and he’s being...complimented for it...when other people got criticized for doing other more lifelike/ambitious designs. hm.

Oh fuck you paul, I’m willing to bet that the chili is FINE and that the ginger is also FINE. Loriea I appreciate you and your strong tastes <3. And the fucking editors cutting to Loriea when an earlier contestant was complimented for “not going overboard with spices” ugh.

How...did Peter get star baker...over Sura and Hermine...I appreciate the GF challenge but also like...how...

>:( They sent Loreia home round one for overflavoring. I am angery.

#the great british bake off #shut up rima #my post #i guess this is a livestream #nowhere else to put my thoughts so here they go

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