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#reminder that i am living here (:
chiropteracupola · 2 months
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iskierka iskierkaaaaaa my honeycake my thousand-times darling i love you i love you i love you i love youuuu
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idk-bruh-20 · 10 months
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Irondad fic ideas #146
Karen is missing someone.
She's an AI, so she's not exactly supposed to have "feelings" the way a human would, but... what other way is there to explain it? Someone is supposed to be in her life, and they are not. She wants them back.
The problem is, she can't find any record of why she feels this way. There are no important people in her database who are currently missing, no gaps in her code that she can find. The only curiosity is the fact that she seems to no longer be helping Spider-Man.
That used to be her prime objective. Her entire reason for being. Maybe he's the one she's missing? She can't find any data to indicate that they were close, but perhaps that is a curiosity too. Surely, if Spider-Man wore a mask with her programming for all that time, she would know who he was, would have some record of their conversations.
With FRIDAY's (and Tony's! let my guy live!) help, Karen is untethered from the Spider-Man suit. She goes searching through every piece of tech she has access to for her missing friend.
When she finds him, she'll figure out what's wrong. And she'll help him fix it. It's what she was designed to do.
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alsojnpie · 4 months
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dishes are forever
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usereddie · 29 days
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i’m brazilian i’m getting a writing degree in portuguese at a brazilian university my day to day is all in portuguese but my online presence is in english. i post in english i write fic in english but if you notice there’s one thing that gives me away in my fics and it’s the fact that almost no yes or no question is answered with a “yes”. i rarely rarely rarely ever do it. and that’s because we don’t talk like this in portuguese! in portuguese we say “você tá indo pra festa?” (are you going to the party?) but we don’t reply with “sim” (yes). we reply with “tô” which means “i am”. i do this all the time and i never realize until i reread something i posted a day or so later. idk it’s kinda neat i think.
brought on by me reading this post and realizing i did this
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averlym · 8 months
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"bad decisions, that's alright; look, i'm still alive"
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tenshindon · 1 year
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still not over how modern db is trying so hard to gaslight people into thinking goku’s a meatheaded idiot who’s never considered mental training an important aspect of martial arts
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maggi-cube · 6 months
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What can you even say to this?
TWs for death, child death, blood, and things of that nature. I’m not sure what other tags would help
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lonelysucker7 · 6 months
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Strangers on a Train
⚠️ Chapter 2 ⚠️
Pairing: Kaine Parker x gn!Reader
Summary: You’re just an average person making their daily living, surviving adulthood as it is. You live in Houston, Texas where even the hero the Scarlet Spider lives. And then there’s a guy, who looks like he’s gone through hell, on a train you’re crushing on.
Word count: 3.9 k
Warnings: mentions of violence (but very brief), criticism towards art, parental issues (also brief), profanity once again!!
Not proofread!! But enjoy!!! ☺️
⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴
The doors didn’t open until 11.
It was a Wednesday, and lucky for you it was a promised short day. Your work didn’t require much as a tour guide. Walk, talk, and answer questions for the art enthusiasts or students from schools that booked their tickets for days like these. And people talked. Often, even with your short time, this went on for hours without a stop.
Every art was displayed for the eye with the likes of van Gogh and Matisse, but obviously van Gogh was for the win. You’ve lost count how much you explained the importance of his life work so you didn’t really need to rehearse any mental notes and directions you were going to use. With much ease, you walked through the halls of the museum, pointing and gesturing with your hands around his paintings, remarking about the paint strokes delicately put into the work and adding backstory to them.
Occasionally there were the usual interruptions with “experts” who bragged about their knowledge regarding the tragic painter. Patiently you kept hearing them go on and on, until letting them finish when they took the hint from the crowd they wanted to move on. You didn’t bat an eye, thanking them for their contribution but silently remarking in sarcasm
“Well fuck, have my job and live my life!”
As you passed by van Gogh's Self-Portrait, you heard the crowd behind you murmuring amongst themselves in admiration. You stopped with them in front of a dark room with the exception of the interior displaying hanging LED lights, falling down from the ceiling in the style of vines colored in violets and pinks. The background offered the effect of neon lights sprawling across the walls in a manner of adding that mystic effect. It was a small forest of wonder after all.
“This is ‘Pipilotti Rist’s: Pixel Forest and Worry Will Vanish’. The artist hailing from Switzerland is always testing art in technology, intending them to be very engaging with her themes of naturalism and wonder. Composed with LED lights in the form of hanging vines and a new art form expressing human regeneration as visual imagery. There are even couches in there to relax in and dream alongside the projections shown on the walls. Maybe losing yourselves in a fantasy wouldn’t be such a bad idea. I recommend it,” you suggested with a slight smile. You stood near the doorway, scooting aside to let others take a small peak at the show.
Behind you, you hear a soft snort coming from behind the walls. Looking over your shoulder, you immediately frown with a roll of your eyes as you notice the familiar someone. Your co-worker/ friend, Bethany grinned to herself as she mimicked your speech, mouthing the words while puppeting it on her hand. Holding the urge not to call her out in the middle of the crowd, you made a small quick clap and urged your crowd to continue with you to finish the tour.
“Tickets will be available once the date is posted on the website. There will be rules regarding the exhibition so make sure to look over those if you intend on bringing children or other!”
………………………………………………………………………….
“You had me in the first half, I won’t lie. I mean, I thought your whimsy quips didn't manage to weave itself in your talk like it does out of nowhere. Because if it didn’t, I wouldn't believe you’d talk that professional.”
“Mmm, well, when you spend so much time talking about works on illusions and dreams coming to a reality, I guess you get sucked in it too. Just happens.”
The first group of touring was done for the first hour and a half, and now you found yourself having a scrutinizing conversation with Bethany about your style of work. You both were in the average noise breakroom, taking your lunch break while still keeping the time.
Getting the job was hard but you managed that getting yourself out there to effectively communicate with people required you to get yourself out of your comfort zone first.
Easy said, easy done.
One sacrifice to offer to the devil of the work was all you needed. Pretty soon your boss became impressed with your way of words, even when it seemed you lacked effort in them at first.
When you told your parents about your job, you expected them to be a little less than happy about it. That expectation was quickly dismissed as they were thrilled you had finally achieved a job (even more when they heard insurance was graciously offered to you.) Your dad joked with you about sending money their way, but you’d always cut it off with the excuse of your break coming to an end. Same case with your mom, though it was more about your college degree even being used at all.
“So what was all that money for?”
You didn’t know how to respond without becoming upset.
And you met Bethany, the security guard, meandering in the locker room. A rough start as she searched through your duffle bag for a pack of cigarettes, and to her disappointment, you didn’t have any. But you offered her gum instead and she took it without hesitation. And throughout the months that came, you got to know her better and became friends. She was in her late 30’s, single, not so much of a hopeless romantic instead preferring to stay on the side of logic and reason.
A bit “evil” you wanted to say, maybe a little too noisy but nevertheless you tolerated her presence and grew to appreciate her. Not once did she leave you out of any hot topic that roamed in the museum or her life, so you felt somewhat special being let in her inner circle.
“Ever watched that old Spanish film called ‘Open Your Eyes?’ You asked Bethany with an expectant stare from across the room. A perplexed expression crossed her features as she pulled out her casserole lunch from the microwave and made her way back to your table. She saw your sad looking ham sandwich in your hands and said
“No, why?” She tilted the veggie casserole towards you to offer in the stead of your meal and you kindly refused. You responded casually
“Because the exhibition that I talked about kinda reminds me of that movie. A dreamlike fantasy you end up losing yourself in because your reality sucks. That movie is all about that.”
Your friend made a small tsk and wagged her finger as she picked on her casserole.
“Don’t think it was the artist's literal intention to have you forget reality. Much less your worries actually vanish. All that is just for show.” Bethany mused as she picked her food, pushing away a piece of broccoli on the side of her plate. You frowned, staring at your ham sandwich with little interest. You replied assertively.
“Yeah but it's in the name. How can it not be?”
“I don’t know, I ain’t an expert in that okay? Answer it yourself.”
“Okay, fine.” A silence lingered over you both, until Bethany asked between mid-chew
“Why exactly did you ask?”
You mulled over the question of why. Maybe it was those people from the tour who interrupted so much. Maybe it was looking back on your old home life. Or the memories of what happened in the morning which flooded through your mind and you got goosebumps because of it. Suddenly you felt embarrassed to even tell. You wanted to hide under a rock from your reality. You confessed with a grim reply
“Cause I’m always wondering if my reality is a dream or my hell right now. Van Gogh was in a limbo, so where am I?”
Bethany being Bethany; cringed at the statement, making a disgusted face as she settled her fork down.
“Okay, okay enough with the philosophy and comparing yourself with dead artists. Look, I'll pinch you if you want to see if you're here with me, weirdo.”
At that you laughed breezily a bit and shook your head, responding smoothly
“No thanks, I’m good as it is. Anyways, I want to finish my lunch before I start touring again. That last group sure had its professionals. I was starting to wonder if I needed to call our boss and quit right on the spot just so they could do the job for me.” You took a bite of your sandwich with a slight grumble and chewed on it with a sigh. Bethany side glanced at you from her food and shrugged.
“Oh come on, you know Boss-man would cry if you left. You’re one of our best. You’re just overthinking it. Like you usually do with that guy on the train. Speaking of which….” Bethany leaned closer to you, you leaning back as a response from the grinchy like smile growing on her face as she rubbed her hands together.
“...You saw him again, didn’t ya?”
You stopped chewing midway of your food. No doubt you did tell her about the stranger. Fifty fifty you regret coming down to this, but she was your friend and you were dying to tell someone. In fact she was the only one you’ve told.
Bethany had remained invested in this topic for as long as you can remember, especially since you maintained your personal life private from many around you. Bethany knew some things. But glimpses of your romantic (if you wanted to coin it like that) life was like striking gold for dear Bethany.
Your eyes glanced away from her creepy smile and your mouth scrunched to the side as you mumbled
“Yes. And?”
Suddenly, she slams her palms on the table that shook with a rattle, causing you and others in the breakroom to jump. Looking back at her you almost yell with a slight strained voice, pieces of your sandwich falling abruptly on your lap.
“Was that necessary?!”
Bethany ignored you, and continued, “Did you finally ask if he was single?!”
You rolled your eyes as you shook your head, incling down at the floor from your seat as you picked up your mess from the floor.
“Of course I didn’t! You know I wouldn’t even think of asking him that. Would you have done the same?” You argued with your voice wavering a bit from the intensity, even breathing a little slowly to calm your nerves. Wrong question, you knew your answer already. Bethany crossed her arms and haughtily replied.
“Yeah, I would’ve done it if I was really that interested. Are you not? How long are ya gonna keep stalling yourself my dear co-worker? Can’t stand the idea of being rejected?”
Your brain couldn’t even process all that, leaving you gripping your thighs anxiously and your mouth gaping without a single word being uttered out. Once the calmness settled, you managed to hush out
“I’m trying… of sorts. Yeah, I’m scared shitless if I get rejected, who wouldn't? And good god Bethany, I already told you he doesn’t seem to be the type you straight up ask on those things…”
Bethany huffed a laugh, and shook her head as if she wasn’t taking that as an answer.
“Yeah but, how long have we been talking about this guy? It’s the same shit! ‘Oh I wanna talk with him this’ and ‘I wanna talk with him that—’ Please just do it, you’re killing meeeee…” Bethany whined, grabbing your shoulders from behind and shook you.
You flick your fingers on the hands on your shoulders and manage to get them off of you. As Bethany peers close to your face, you look back at her as a dark look crosses your eyes.
It finally came to your mind that you were still on your break and the whole staff room was staring at your commotion from the corner of the room. The sound of the water dripping from the sink could be heard in the background.
Pushing your chair back, you stood to let the blood flow through your legs again and moved to toss the pieces of sandwich near the garbage disposal. As you sat back down with a melancholic feeling, you mumbled,
“Everything at its time. Don’t rush me, okay?”
You buried your face in your hands continuing to mumble incoherent complaints in them. Bethany surrendered her hands in the air as she slumped in her seat and started to absentmindedly pick her casserole again.
“You're too respectful. You shouldn’t.”
You snapped your head up, glaring slightly.
“We’re strangers. I don’t know him and he doesn’t know me. Some random creep asking if you're single out of nowhere? That raises so many red flags if you hadn't noticed. You know what… think I might need that pinch now.”
Bethany reached to pat your back with mild consolation, still with that smug smile and a borderline joy of taking in your pain. Now you just felt tired and yearned to go home. Sadly it was only 2 in the afternoon so you’d need to wait 3 more hours. You then hear Bethany say in a tranquilizing tone
“Take it easy. Listen I know you’re a dreamer, and you keep dreaming okay? I don’t want to burst your bubble. But while that train keeps on moving and he keeps riding it, you should shoot your shot. Never know if he’s gonna be gone the next day. Uncanny events always force someone to move out of here.”
Hearing her make that statement, raises a the hairs in the back of your head. Maybe a part of you refused to accept that fact, but you knew it was the truth. It was either take it or leave it. How long you’ve spent pondering on the thought of talking to him… oh a very long time, that you already made yourself clear on the train. You clenched your jaw, gulping quietly as you spoke with hesitancy.
“I’ll try… but I’m sure things will end up falling short of my expectations.”
“No no, I’m certain you’re gonna do fine. You have a way with words. Your personality is pretty good. And you are…” Bethany leaned back to take your form from head to toe and back over again with an easy smile “...You’re pretty hot enough to catch someone's eye. Although I’m not saying looks are everything. Say, if he saw you today, did he make any sign that he looked even the slightest interested in you?”
You scratched your cheek for a minute or two in thought, then you finally shake your head and simply responded
“No.”
“No?” Bethany repeated bluntly. You shook your head again. You made a slight tilt as you added,
“Although we did hold a stare for about 15 seconds. Does that count?”
“Hmm, it's something. What else did he do?”
“Er, well he did this funny thing with his lip. It went back a bit. Like…like he tried to…” Bethany watched you intently as you reenacted the funny lip jump. She only thinned her lips as a teasing smile started to form, until she burst, pointing a finger at you gushing.
“Oh my god, did he try to smile at you?!” Bethany's smile must have reached its limit as it was already way too wide and way too disturbing to hold eye contact. You chuckled nervously with a half-shrug.
“I guess…? It would be a first actually.” An attempted smile from him… it made your chest feel fuzzy from that thought. Still though it could’ve meant anything. Bethany giggles, wrapping an arm around you and bringing you close to her. You winced a little, smelling the breath of onion from her casserole as she whispered.
“Just go talk to him. You know you’re brave. Wake up and make it a reality. Got one life, so don’t waste it.” She gave you a small shake in her arm, before the weight was lifted off of you. You fixed the collar of your uniform and looked at the time again. Your break was over. Her words of encouragement suddenly pushed you to actually want to do it.
Like previous times of course.
“I suppose so huh? Tomorrow we’ll see then. Thanks Bethany.”
She gave you a small thumbs up as you both stood up from your seats. Both of you then stepped outside of the breakroom, departing with a side hug and left to finish the day. You waved at your crowd from the end of the hallway on your left and approached them with a professional welcoming smile.
Maybe I should do it tomorrow. Nothing can go wrong from here… right?
…………………………………..……………………………………
Now your day is over. And your pained feet were dying to get home.
But as expected you were held back for a couple reasons. First was to finish answering some questions from the guests, and then your boss whose news reached to his ears about you and Bethany “fighting” in the breakroom. To which you denied sincerely without trying to smile. You two could never.
In consequence, those actions from both parties have left you to forget the sun set earlier in the month of July. Crap.
5:45 P.M, and you also missed your train. You sent Bethany a text asking for a ride, but you deleted the message as you recalled her mentioning in the morning about a dentist appointment after her break. Meaning you were going to need to walk home.
Fuck.
Adjusting your duffel bag on your shoulder, you climbed down the stairs while keeping a taser you borrowed from Bethany close by in your pocket. You quickly took a left from the station and started jogging slightly as you wanted to avoid any possible encounter with people. Not at this hour, no siree.
It wasn’t the first time you’ve done this. But not regularly either.
The approximation from your work to your apartment was about 30-45 minutes depending how fast you got there on foot, but you knew you weren’t gonna get there anytime soon. The uncomfortable feeling of being watched as you jogged without a stop for breath became awkward as hell.
You passed by the town shops that still had their lights on, staying close by them as you needed to see the cemented path ahead of you. For a summer night the air felt a mix of cool air and warm heat, making you start sweating anyway. Man you felt that adrenaline and motivation push your limits already.
The night sky wasn’t all dark as it was being illuminated by a full moon and the stars sparkled brightly. You huffed a breath as you turned a dark corner.
Only a couple more blocks, I can do this.
You began to feel a little dizzy from your excessive jogging and weariness of your feet starting to catch up with you that you immediately slowed down. A sharp pain from the side of your ribs irked you to recoil and grab on to the wall to lean on. Ragged breathing started to fill your ears as you took a breather and your eyes scanned your surroundings.
You had entered an alleyway with no exit. Dark and murky.
A sudden crash from a nearby garbage dump from the exit of the alleyway, caused you to stagger back with alert. Your hand fumbled in your pocket as you pulled out your taser and kept it to your side as you looked over your shoulder, just to make sure nothing from the darkness or exit came out.
You were so wrong.
From the pit of your chest you felt your heart drop to your stomach as you saw something moving towards the entrance of the alleyway. Dark shadows plastered on the wall from the light reflected off the moon and a growling noise seemed to rumble out. It resembled that of the creature and you almost had a feeling what it was. It started to become closer and closer.
You bite your tongue trying not to make a noise, stepping back into the shadows but without realizing it; your heel accidentally stepped on a piece of glass breaking it loudly.
Shit—-
You let out a scream as the creature rages in the alley about to grab you with their sharp claws.
I’M DEAD, I’M SO DEAD—-!
Your panicked thoughts were cut off aggressively as you were pulled upwards by something that grabbed your back shirt. You felt it snap off of you as your body was being rag dolled around by something keeping you close.
And very tightly; your back was being dug with their immense grip on you. More growls and yells were heard by your ear and your eyes couldn’t focus on it. Everything was a blur of colors red, black—-
Red and black? Hold up—-
Instinctively you wrapped your arms around the neck of this something you realized… it was none other than the Scarlet Spider himself.
You stared in awe at his red lenses, seeing your own face back at them. And oh man… his breathing sounded hotter up close. Of all places you finally met the hero. Yet that didn’t stop you from feeling scared as the webbed hero was swinging swiftly in the air with the web in one hand from a great height. The feeling was just like when you were a kid, being pushed on the swing and feeling the air pressure wacking your face. So you gradually held on tightly.
Yeah—you wanted to throw up right then in there.
Below you a grassy patch of land was coming into view. A playground from the nearby school you knew close to your home. With a loud thump you both landed on the ground safely, the noises of growls faded away in the distance.
“Hey… you can let go now,” You heard a low rough voice speak from the mask. You didn’t realize you closed your eyes and you opened them, raising your head away from his shoulder. Dumbly, you shakily let go of the hero and a soft thud from the padding of your feet was audibly heard as it touched the grass.
As your arms slid from his shoulders, you only noticed that the hero was just leaning down for you when he suddenly straightened up from his inclined posture.
He was much…taller.
“Are you okay?” He asked with a gruff tone. A soft gruff tone if you heard carefully.
You shook your head just to quickly revert it to a nod as you silently answered his question. He answered it with a nod of his own as he craned his neck to look at you up and down for potential injuries.
“Good. Don’t be wandering out at night—it’s dangerous you hear? See what almost happened to you back there? Almost became a snack.”
If you had enough energy you would have laughed at the warning. You didn’t answer, just stared. An impatient snap to your face woke you from your trance.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“U-uh, y-yeah… t-thanks…” You stuttered softly.
A beat.
The hero stared at you in silence and for a moment it felt like he wanted to say something. From the looks of his hands on his sides flexing their fingers, he seemed to hesitate doing something. He didn’t do anything. Finally, he said in a rather plain tone,
“Go home now. Take a pill for the nerves and a day off. You’re shaken up, I can tell.”
“U-uh h-huh…” you managed, as the jelly legs found themselves on your legs when you turned around to walk. You were numbly questioning the creature that almost killed you and the urge to ask him came to you. You wanted to say something else to him as you turned around to face him once again—-but he was gone.
Damn. You wanted him to stay a little longer.
Home it is then. You pulled your duffel bag—-correction, nothing.
You scan all over your body for anything and you let out a frustrated groan as you realize your duffel bag was lost back at that alley. Worst of all, you didn’t even know which one.
Well… at least you had a spare key under your mat.
⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴
11/27/23
Hello there!!
So yes I was working on this really really hard. And you have a friend yay! Maybe you’ll expect another chapter in two weeks (I know, I’m bummed out too.)
Alright so… here’s the thing.
I was drafting where this story will head and here’s what I have in mind: Kaine technically left Houston right? Because of… stuff. But what if… what if he came back?
I have hopes for that. So this fic is where that intends to go. Where Kaine technically comes back to Houston. He has his friends back (minus one if you have an idea who), and he’s basically trying to start all over again. That’s all I can say for now.
And yes of course he still has The Other (not all fanfiction is canon remember!)
This journey is likely gonna be long folks. With super long paragraphs. And a hella amount of plot.
So… enjoy every moment and thank you for your support. You guys keep me going 🤗
—LonelySucker7
Next: Chapter 3
Previously: Chapter 1
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miutonium · 16 days
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Its 4 am, I should be sleeping but why is it that I just have the urge to draw and ship her with a pathetic nerd gf??
#that pathetic nerd gf is me#i watched the incredibles recently and suddenly i remembered that I am gay#but also she just kinda reminds me of jessica rabbit personality wise#shes so serious all the time until theres a vwry brief moment she was caught off guard and all her confidence were gone-#when she got sucker punched lol#also i literally wrote this on the fly i imagine like the nerd girl was the lead engineer for most of Syndrome's machine#like yes he is a genius sure but most of the technicalities were made by her#so like I imagine that one day while she and Mirage where in the same room#she was like “you could just leave this place yknow. idk what you see in him that makes you so devoted on building these intricate machines-#for him.“ and she went silent before mirage continued ”you could build for gods for superheroes but you choose to have yourself stuck-#in this volcano island for some rich megalomaniac who got hurt that some fat guy hurts his feelings decades ago“#and just as she was about to protest mirage asked again “what do you see yourself here?” and the nerd girl just kinda laughs and was like#“i dont really see any future here but all I know is he got his toys and I am having fun building it”#and mirage just couldn't help but laugh at her bluntness lol#but also it would be fun that she asked her the question back and mirage couldnt answer it either#its like working for syndrome just gave them both a purpose to live in a sense#i mean likeeee they both dont trust syndrome no no i mean like they have something to do other than wander aimlessly in their lives? idk#this should have been in this post why am i leaving it in the tags?????#anyway chat should I f/o her????#asuka speaks
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dullahandyke · 2 years
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You guys keep falling for people going 'lol you're identifying the wrong way' wrt queer identities so I made you a flow chart
Is your anger against this label because it facilitates genuine harm towards others (eg. MAPs)? Godspeed and good luck to you.
Is your anger against this label because it is Using The Label Wrong and doesn't gel with your personal definition for this label (eg. MOGAI, bi lesbians, lesboys)? I'm sorry, but there's always gonna be people who identify in ways that you disagree with, and with something as intangible as queer identity, their stance has as much merit as your own. If you get ticked seeing someone IDing as both homosexual and bisexual, ask yourself if they're genuinely hurting anyone, and if not, let them be. You will never know the intricacies of someone else's identity, and if that's how they choose to define themselves, well, tough shit.
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elegyofthemoon · 2 months
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well. i finished ch 17 of hi3. but at what cost
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#avil plays hi3#tbf majority of me playing through hi3 just looks like This.#yes the acheron trailer made me get up and finish ch 17#i. :(#the fight between kiana and mei was so painful :(#ok also i suck ass in the combat and i was so scared of having to restart#BUT I THINK I HURT MORE THE FACT THAT KIANA JUST REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON MEI#BUT MEIS ALSO DOING THIS BECAUSE SHES TRYING TO SAVE KIANA#AND THEY WERE BOTH FIGHTING TO STOP AND TRY TO SAVE EACH OTHER#MEI YOU SAVED KIANA BUT LIKE..... DONT YOU WANT TO LIVE ALONGSIDE HER.... MEI PLEASE#tbh. the way i was going through ch 17 for hi3.#kiana and mei remind me a lot of oz and gil's relationship back in pandora hearts but#now it makes me want to hit my head on a brick wall because#'wow. i really just gravitate tO THE SAME FUCKING MEDIA EVERY DAMN TIME AVIL STOP IT FFS'#also idk i was thinking about it too#mei tried earlier to use the herrschers powers to try and protect kiana but it wasnt enough. she failed that time#and with no other option to save her she just HAD to and it makes me HURT that this was her only option#IN HER HEAD. I BELIEVE IN YOU MEI I THINK THERE COULDVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION HERE (IDK WHAT BUT I AM SOBBING)#sprawls on the ground#at least i can have an emotional break for a little bit.... hsr update so i can chill w that#and then when i finish catching up w that. then i go back to being hi3's punching bag#can i get off this train now? why'd i sign myself up for this (welt yang doomed me and then i got fucked over by everything else)#idk also the way that both mei AND kiana resorted to using their herrscher powers to stop the other. two stubborn people....#but its done because they just... they just care so much and want to save the other#okay yeah we did beat each other up about it bUT STILL#MEI I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND 😭😭😭😭😭#anyways. glad i did. i have the worst stomach ache rn so i was Going through it#but my brain hit a reset so i feel normal now. save for the crying
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vitasexualiiis · 8 months
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my very sexy curse of liking the most radioactive ships in a fandom
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lovecolibri · 2 months
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"Me at my angriest is not me at my most honest."
WOOF. As someone with emotional regulation issues (thanks ADHD/RSD! 🙃) needing space away to parce emotions and be able to come back and have a productive conversation is SO important.
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shallowrambles · 4 months
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So I've been thinking. It's funny how enjoying meta is somewhat embedded with trust.
Like, if you're "friends" and have followed a person for a long time, you have more a sense of their values, and it's easier to read their difficult meta because you trust more that they're being charitable/nuanced.
If you don't know them, it's harder to trust that they're not funneling difficult topics into rationalization of liking/supporting gross shit.
#meta thoughts#case in point - so much of the wincest community still comes off super classist to me and it sorts of...leaks into their meta#you'll be going alone with an interesting character study and then you read stuff that just BOOM classism about family ties#then you go to their page and you find that yes they're into that shit and there's typically a desert of thoughtful cas military angels etc#they tend to like benny cause benny is an idealized brother substitute / sam parallel and it's given the most uncharitable reading#just because you choose a partner than is familiar and like your fam members does not mean you're into your family members oh my god#and sure there's tons of visual and overt racism in SPN in general but to me that at least gets discussed#the classism inherent to narrative fangirl obsessions with incest? not as dissected#familism and community are seen as Weird (TM) to them and they kind of tell on themselves with that imho#and like with racism there are just some things you can't overlook to enjoy a series if you're black because that's your day to day life an#with classism it's hard too bc sometimes you can't escape the reminders of day to day life#and when ppl in the fandom see the villain's monologues as TRUTH you just wanna shake your head but know it's not worth arguing#communal living is more normal than america wants you to think...rich folks want it labelled *weird* bc they want you separated and drained#i am begging us to deconstruct suburbia instead of defaulting to TEEHEE incest bc shitting on pooled resources is paramount in a rigged gam#I find the inherent isolation of american living-to-work without any time to visit each other VERY isolating indeed...also...#like how did we get here#where we're so afraid of labels like*cults* and *helicopter parenting* and *enmeshment* than we isolate as a form of hallowed independence#american success culture has a dark side too#and separating low class families is the aim#get them to spend more $$$ and go for lofty ideals in pursuit of american dream instead of pooling their resources and meeting their needs#meanwhile rich folks do so much respectable nepotism and pretend they're *self-made*#to me that's what the symbol of zachariah is ALLLL about#and if you're blind to what his taunts ACTUALLY mean...i'm very suspicious of your worldview#if resource sharing and co-living becomes shameful and *incestuous* for lower classes then they won't pool their power at all#american exceptionalism#spn + class#class#class warfare#giving up college dreams to be a caretaker seems way more common in poor families too#i suspect we see the incest reading less from brown families / hispanic fams...cause familism is more common
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razzleberry-lemonade · 8 months
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*queue material girl by madonna*
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averlym · 9 months
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a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success
so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"
#these are all very good reminders. especially during exam season (i am suffering. but at least i'm working on art coursework so it's#suffering i love.) guys i have maybe a bit too many thoughts on ambrose. sculpture. and ceramics. and studio. in my art student 3d era rn#tmr it's black and white 2d so it's vincent vibes instead... anyways. in my breaks i ended up brainstorming more doodles again so..#anywaysndhfnfjfhf sorry to detract! but like these two quotes are holding my sanity intact i think.#at this point even without listening to the live soundtrack it sounds in my head so. lasting impressions i guess. every time i get anxious#' you'll never get better if you fucking die'' sounds in my head and i go ''ah yes there's a whole life outside''#continuing this ramble you ever think how vincent went from you'll never get better if you fucking die to '' first i chose my friend#ambrose for my debut :DD'' realll quick. or also how this principle worked for when he was talking to ambrose about it and then. for himself#he didn't want to get better. he wanted quincy to get better and so '' you'll never get better if you die'' held through to the end#it just wasn't a mentality that saved him... god that screws me up. so many thoughts.#anyways anon!!!! thank you for sending this :3 made my day <33 very vibes#going to put the soundtrack on and power through studio again.. :3 adamandi asks are welcomed ngl teehee#ask me stuff???#on another note sometimes it's so surreal that actors are real people... i guess the magic of theatre is that it makes the characters come#to life.. like i believe actors are real. and deserve to be treated like people. for the record. but also when consuming media and it's the#suspension of disbelief? these are Real Characters i can't believe that someone who isn't them is making these sounds and doing these things#it's so insane. incredible. idk i just have very high admiration for the cast and idk how i got here even... akshdjdhdf#<blinks> they did such a good job akdhdnfhfbgfhff ok bye#first time i swear in the actual post on this blog and not in the tags... of course
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