#remember 4 years ago when u ignored me

[the-record]

kissing lessons: 2

synopsis: ellie was your first kiss, but she moved away and you never spoke again. what happens when she moves back to town ten years later?

song: kissing lessons - lucy dacus

pairing: college!ellie x reader

warnings: mean moms, implied homophobia

a/n: uhm wow thank you so much for all the love the first part 🫶 yall are angels and i love u all! thinking this is a series!!!!!!

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

“damn. you grew up.”

you laughed, coming over and pulling ellie into a hug. “so did you, jesus.” you let go of her and joel pulled you into a hug of his own. “hi mr. miller.”

“jesus kid, how many times do i have to say not to call me that! its joel.”

the air was awkward as you pulled away from them both, memories of your childhood floating through your mind. “so, uhm, what are y’all doing back here? thought you wanted to be close to tommy?”

joel sighed and leaned on the cart he had been pushing. “yea, well, ellie wanted to go to school here.”

“they’ve got a great art program.” ellie interrupted. “didn’t think id get in, but i did on a scholarship, so we decided to come back.”

you smiled at her. “wow that’s amazing, you’ll have to show me your stuff some time!”

“absolutely, shes amazing.” joel said, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “what about you, are you still in school?”

you sighed and switched your basket to the other hand. “unfortunately, last year though!” you smiled.

“thats the spirit.” joel pat you on the shoulder. “we better get going, but it’s good to see you angel. hope we get to see more of you.” he turned back to the cart, looking at the list as he headed down the cereal aisle.

ellie cleared her throat before speaking again. “hey, can i get your number? y’know so we can catch up?”

“yeah, of course!” she slipped her phone into your hands, watching as you added your number to a new contact. “it’s really good to see you.” you said as you put your free arm around her neck in a hug.

“yea it is.” her arm squeezed your middle for a moment before you both let go, heading opposite ways. “see you around angel.”

“what’s got you so smiley?” your mom wondered as she chopped vegetables beside you.

you set down the knife your were holding, turning around to lean on the counter. “you remember ellie? the girl i was, like, best friends with in elementary school?” she nodded, her eyes flashing between you and the onion. “saw her and mr. miller at the grocery store. i guess they’re moving back so ellie can go to school here.”

she hummed, no reaction on her face. “will you get the chicken out the fridge for me?” she looked up when you didn’t move, just staring at her. “what?”

“you tell me.”

she sighed and set down her knife, getting the chicken herself. “i just… i never liked that girl.” she closed the fridge door and cut open the chicken, putting it in a bowl with some seasoning. “mr. miller is very kind, and his sarah is a sweetie.” she clicked her tounge. “but ellie seemed to be a bad influence on you. something off about that girl.”

you knew exactly what she meant.

ellie was a trouble maker. back-talking teachers, and pranking neighbors. and she was never the girly-girl the moms wanted her to be. too tomboy-ish for their daughters.

too queer for them.

“whatever.” you left the kitchen, grabbing your keys and walking out the front door like you used to all those years ago. you heard your mom call out for you as you left, but you ignored her, getting in your car and pulling away.

ellie had texted you earlier to give you her number, claiming she was always free.

e: hey angel its ellie 3:48

a: hey. glad i saw you today. 3:52

a: when are you free? 3:52

e: always 3:54

a: u free now??? 5:36

e: yea come over 5:36

e: sent a pin 📍 5:37

ellie raced down the stairs as you knocked on the door, yelling at joel “i got it” before he could get up.

he laughed and turned back to the tv. she’d done that as a kid too, never more excited than when you came over. she composed herself before unlocking and opening the door, a shy smile on her face.

“hey, come in.” she stepped back, watching you come inside and slide off your shoes along side hers. she took your hand, a habit she never dropped, and led you upstairs to her room.

“hey angel!”

you smiled softly, peeking around a corner and seeing joel watching the news. “hi mr. miller.”

“it’s joel!”

ellie rolled her eyes, pulling at your arm. you scoffed, letting her guide you. “now, my room is just bones right now. im only here temporarily so…”

she wasn’t joking.

her bed frame sat against a wall not put together, all her stuff in boxes. a suitcase sat by the closet with clothes and essentials. her mattress tucked in a corner with sheets and a pillow. walls bare and books hidden.

“this is boring.” you teased as you flopped onto her mattress face first. when you looked over to ellie she was standing awkwardly at the door, hands at her sides and eyes on the floor. “what the hell are you doing?”

she shrugged, shuffling forward. “ ‘don’t know. feels weird.”

you laughed, staring at her incredulously. “you just yanked me up your stairs to your room, and now it’s weird?”

“you’re right.” she stood at the foot of the mattress before falling on top of you.

“jesus!”

ellie gasped and rolled off you. “do not say the lord’s name in vain missy! can you imagine what your mother would do if she heard?”

she felt the energy sour at the mention of your mom. “you okay?”

she watched as you sat up and followed suit, sitting criss cross in front of you. “i hate living with her. she finds a way to ruin everything.” you picked at the hole on your jeans, pulling at the white threads.

“let me guess,” ellie said, leaning onto her hands behind her. “not so happy to hear im back in town.” you looked at her with a guilty expression. “she never liked me. none of the moms did.”

“yea, well, theyre all idiots.” you huffed and picked at her jeans instead. “she just… any time im excited she has to find a way to ruin it. i just wanna move out.”

you were both silent for a minute. ellie watched as you picked and twisted the the strings on her pants, separating them just to pinch them back together. “move in with me.”

your head shot up to look at her.

#💋kissing lessons💋 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams fic #ellie willams the last of us #ellie williams tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams angst #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams

[nctsjiho]

Trust Me One More Time

genre: angst, parent!au pairing: Haechan x oc, Haechan x female!oc, idol!Haechan, ex-idol!oc cw: (bad) parenting; arguing; talks about "giving up"; this is a really heavy fic (imo) with a heavy but hard to explain plot without spoiling it all, if u read this fic, feel free to stop whenever you feel uncomfortable

This is NOT part of the same NCT addition!JiHo AU. Think of this as an alternate version of that universe or part of the imagine series I have done so far under 'writer.answers'. If you are stumbling upon my blog for the first time, this is a standalone fic u can read pretty much without knowing anything about my oc.

❀ Being new parents isn't easy. Still being able to care for his child while being an idol, Haechan can't seem to understand the mother of his child's struggles.

“Don’t cry, baby,” the new father cooed as he walked towards the cot, having just returned from work. He leaned over the bed to find his son’s restless body. Despite not being able to move much, the little baby had mustered all his strength to reach his tiny arms out once he saw his father. “What’s gotten you so upset?” Haechan asked with a pout as he brought the baby up in his arms. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

Haechan ignored the figure on the couch as he decided to retrieve a bottle of milk for his child first. When he returned to the living room he sat down on the couch, still skillfully handling the baby in his arms and started to give him his milk. “There you go,” he whispered softly before turning to the mother of his child.

“Why didn’t you feed him?”

An exhausted, emotion-filled sob left Jiho’s lips. “I tried, but he wouldn’t eat,” she told him while she still didn’t make eye contact with him.

“How long ago was that?”

“I don’t remember.”

Silence filled the rather dark room, only lit up with a small yellow-toned table lamp. It wasn’t a comforting silence. The tension between the two adults was only thickening, so much so that it seemed like Dongmin—their child—felt it as well. The 4 month year old had stopped drinking for a significant amount of time, causing Haechan to look back down at him which seemed to comfort him as he started to drink again. “So what? Were you planning to let him starve? He’s eating just fine now.”

“It wasn’t that long ago,” Jiho whispered again.

“Maybe he’s scared because you’re acting like that.”

That's where the conversation ended for the moment. Haechan finished feeding the baby and moved him to the nursery where another cot was. He waited for Dongmin to fall asleep before returning to the living room, where Jiho still sat.

“This is exactly what I mean,” he sighed and blatantly motioned over her form. “You’re sitting there like you’re straight out of a horror movie. With your hair in your face, wearing the same clothes that you’ve been wearing for a week now. Jiho!” he suddenly yelled her name, getting her to look at him. “Get a hold of yourself.”

Haechan was almost begging her at this point, he was getting tired as well.

“I tried—”

“Try harder! This isn’t just any child, this is our child.” By now, Haechan had kneeled down in front of her. “You’ve always been amazing with children. What’s different now?”

“He’s… our child.”

Haechan shook his head as if he was in disbelief and moved even closer to Jiho. He pulled her legs down off the couch away from her chest and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. “All the more reason for you to love him. You love him don’t you?”

“He doesn’t like me.”

“It’s only been 4 months, Jiho,” he told her as his hand softly caressed her lower back. It had become a habit since during the last months of her pregnancy she always complained about her lower back and he always gave her massages for it. “You just need to spend more time with him—”

“I’m always here! Haechan, I’m the one who gave up on being an idol for this. I’ve been with him ever since—”

“You never call Dongmin by his name.”

Jiho pushed Haechan away and threw her head back in annoyance. Once she sat back straight, causing Haechan to see her face again, he could see that angry tears were running down her cheeks. “Your son hates me.”

“He’s our—”

“HE’S NOT MY CHILD!”

Those words took Haechan by surprise. In his shocked state he couldn’t even notice Dongmin starting to cry in his nursery—probably having heard the commotion from his parents. “How could you say that?”

“I had to give up everything! I stayed with him ever since he was born and did everything for him because you said we could do this. You said we would be great parents. I— I’m not a good mother, Haechan,” she confessed.

“I can’t get him to eat anymore. He won’t take bottles from me, he doesn’t even like me holding him. He cries the whole day if you aren’t here. How can I be a good mother if he doesn’t even like me?”

At this point Jiho had crashed onto her knees on the floor and started sobbing. The Jiho that was crying in front of him wasn’t the Jiho Haechan used to know. She wasn’t the girl—now woman—that he once fell in love with.

“Then try harder.”

Hearing those words, Jiho looked up at him in disbelief. Haechan was hovering over her with a hard to read expression on his face.

“What?” Her voice sounded a lot smaller than she expected it to sound.

“I’m not here to work the whole day, to provide for our son only for you to sit here and cry because you’re having a hard time feeding him. Maybe if you breastfeed him like the doctor told you to, Dongmin would trust you more.”

Confusion washed over Jiho as she didn’t expect Haechan to suddenly turn on her and sound so condescending. “What are you talking about? You knew I never wanted to breastfeed even before he was born. You knew this.”

“I want to help you Jiho, I really do. I know that we should’ve been more careful, that you put your trust in me and it’s my fault that we have a child now, but Dongmin is beautiful. He was an accident, but he’s the happiest little accident that I cannot get myself to regret. I know I broke your trust before, but ever since we found out you were pregnant I’ve never left your side. Can you please trust me again? We can do this together, okay? Isn’t that enough?”

Haechan had pulled Jiho closer to him, holding her by her forearms as he asked for her trust once again. However, Jiho started to shake her head.

“It’s not enough, Haechan. I’ve been scared ever since I found out I was pregnant. I’m still scared and you haven’t acknowledged it until now. Hell, I still don’t know if you realise it. The only reason I haven’t— the only reason I went through with it all is because it’s made you happy.”

“I—” Haechan stopped himself from speaking, feeling frustration rise in his body once again. “Let’s talk about this during dinner, okay? You order whatever you like. I’ll go check on Dongmin, we woke him up again.”

Jiho didn’t respond, but Haechan didn’t wait for a response anyway. He had already turned to go to the nursery, where he found his little boy crying once more. The baby was a bit fussy, but instantly calmed down once his father picked him up and swayed him around for a bit. “Your momma is a good person. She’s just really scared and appa hasn’t been very patient or considerate of her. Don’t tell her I said this, but I still love her very much.” Haechan chuckled a bit at how pathetic he sounded, but quickly shrugged it off. He placed a soft kiss on his son’s forehead before placing him back down in his cot. Dongmin fell asleep instantly.

Haechan took a little moment to regain himself before walking back into the living room. “Jiho,” he called out for her, but there was no response. “Jiho?” When she still didn’t answer and he couldn’t see her when peering through the door to the kitchen, Haechan decided to look through the whole house.

He checked Jiho’s room first. Haechan had never stood still by the fact that her room was pretty much empty since the first day they moved into the house. It had none of her personality and although Jiho was more of a minimalist, Haechan remembered how her dorm rooms from the time she was still an idol were filled with little trinkets. She used to always hold onto meaningful—and even meaningless—gifts from the members and fans. This room only held a bed, a dresser, a bookshelf and a chair she would read those books in.

Moving on—not forgetting to knock on the bathroom door and checking if it was empty—Haechan walked through all the rooms in the house until he reached his own bedroom. His room was right next to Dongmin’s nursery, only separated by an ensuite bathroom.

“Jiho?” He pushed the door open hoping though not expecting Jiho to be inside. As he predicted, there was no one in his room. He looked around and noticed the two pictures on his dresser. One of them was of him and Jiho while they were still coworkers. They were younger, though not by much and they seemed incredibly happy. The second picture was of them a few weeks after Dongmin was born. Haechan was the one holding Dongmin while Jiho sat next to him. She looked visibly tired in the picture, something that Haechan hadn’t noticed before. He also realised that in every picture that they have together, Haechan was always the one holding Dongmin. The only exception being the picture of when the doctor handed Jiho Dongmin when he was just born.

Returning to the living room, Haechan had dialled Jiho’s number, hoping she would pick up and explain she was just picking up some food at their favourite Thai place down the street. Something stopped him dead in his tracks though, when Haechan noticed something missing. It took him a second to clock what he had seen—or had not seen—before he set out in a panic.

The sweater he was wearing the whole day and had dropped on one of the chairs in the living room when he returned from work was missing. He walked towards the front door and Jiho’s shoes—the ones that she could slip onto easily whenever they decided to go on a quick walk—were gone. “Ji…”

With a deep, shaky exhale, Haechan slipped on his own shoes and ran towards the neighbours door. At the urgent knocks on the door a woman in her mid to late 30’s opened the door and asked what was wrong. “Mrs. Choi, please look over Dongmin for a while. He’s sleeping in his cot in the nursery.”

Mrs. Choi nodded quickly. “What’s wrong? Where is Jiho? Is everything okay?” she fired the questions as soon as she noticed something must’ve been horribly wrong.

“I don’t know, I— I’ll be back,” Haechan yelled out in a hurried stuttering mess before running down the stairs towards the street.

He started taking off to that favourite Thai place over there, only to be confronted by the sign he forgot about. Closed permanently in big black letters letters on the door. “God damnit,” Haechan cursed, turning around and starting to run the other way, not knowing where to go.

“Haechan?” A familiar voice stopped him.

With a relieved sigh, Haechan ran up to the old owner of the Thai restaurant. “Sir, have you seen Jiho?”

“Your wife?” Not having the time to correct the older man, Haechan nodded. “I’m sorry, Haechan. I haven’t seen her. Why? What’s—”

“I’m sorry! I have to go!” Haechan yelled as he hurried further down the street continuously trying to reach JiHo’s phone that she wouldn’t pick up.

Sweat was beating down his face and if he wasn’t so preoccupied with other thoughts, he would’ve thought he was close to having a heart attack with how hard his heart was beating. “Jiho!”

When he finally reached the park he frequented with Jiho and Dongmin, he stopped to catch his breath again. He took a few moments, his hands were shaking violently.

“Jiho… I— You’re an amazing mother. If there’s one thing I want you to know, then it would be that you are the bravest woman I know. You trusted me despite me giving you the life you hated. Yet you still stuck with it. You still try to take care of Dongmin despite having a hard time. If you were a bad mother— You would’ve given up by now, but you didn’t.

“I don’t deserve you, Jiho. But— Dongmin needs you. He needs a mother like you. Please… Jiho please don’t give up. I love you—”

Beep beep beep~

---

READ PART 2 HERE

S/N: idk what tag to post this under so for now I'll use jiho.writings and post it on the main writing masterlist under it's own thingy. Might be subject to change, so if u don't find it under that masterlist it will be on my main pinned masterlist.

masterlists: main masterlist || jiho.writings masterlist

#jiho.writings #nct 24th member #haechan angst #nct angst #nct imagines #nct haechan angst #haechan imagines #nct haechan imagines #nct female addition #nct dream angst #nct 127 angst #nct additions #nct added member #nct female member #nct additional member #nct addition #nct extra member #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 10

welcome the the tenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. A Rain-Check on Redamancy by @youraveragemushroom

Burnout these days usually came from working long nights at the Garrison. If Lance from five years ago could see himself today—working part-time to rebuild Earth and full-time as an instructor at the very same institution that gave him his crippling anxieties—he would probably shit a brick. Hell, five years ago he hadn’t even known aliens existed (although he always knew deep down that humans weren’t alone in the universe), and now he’s best friends with multiple! One of which had apparently texted him an hour ago.

Forgoing proper texting procedure due to fatigue and general doneness, Lance tapped on the icon to call back.

“Hello?” a familiar deep rasp answered from the other line.

“Hey, mullet,” Lance replied, pushing aside the papers in front of him to lay his head down on the desk. “What’s cooking?”

In which Lance finds himself ignoring how late it is and indulges himself in pining after Keith. Which becomes slightly more difficult when said object of his affections shows up in the middle of the night to rescue him from paperwork, stress, and the melancholy that came from being away from him.

the ‘god i wish you were here’ ‘look behind you’ trope will get to me EVERY single time idc. always makes me all stimmy bc its THE epitome of romance. this whole thing was so so romantic and full of parallels to the first episode to show how deep their relationship has gotten...i love me some romantic parallels fr

2. sweetheart by @jilliancares

“Sorry, babe,” Keith says. He even smiles, no doubt proud of himself.

And Lance knows it’s his fault. He started it, after all, but at least the biting term of endearment made sense when he was the one doing it. Keith had been talking to him like they were some old married couple. The kind who’ve been married too long and don’t love each other anymore and gripe over meaningless shit, only managing to piss each other off even further.

That’s why Lance called him dear. Because it made sense in the situation. It was a calculated insult. A strategic jab.

Keith, on the other hand, is weaponizing the term of endearment without any rhyme or reason, simply to get back at Lance.

Or: Keith and Lance have gotten into the habit of using pet names as condescending insults. They're not really terms of endearment.

ooooooo god endearments going from sarcastic to desperately genuine and the inherent hopelessness in that....whew boy. its def a Concept that u indulge and then you have to clutch ur stomach. i remember reading this as i was getting ready and brushing my teeth and the cliff scene made me gasp out loud and stop just to i could pay Full Complete Attention

3. don’t speak the language by @goldengalaxies

“More importantly” Lance says. “I am currently having a breakdown in this lift because look at him- I am so incredibly gay.”

“Lance!” Hunk buries his face in his hands. “He could speak English you know, your skills of deduction are really not that good.”

Lance ignores his warning in favour of groaning dramatically. “Oh, Dios mio, Hunk, he’s so gorgeous. Look at those muscles. He could probably bench press me.” Lance fanned himself. “Oh my God, fencing is my new favourite sport, fuck swimming.”

(or the one where Lance thirsts after a random guy in the lift who he thinks can’t speak English. lance is very wrong and hunk is very much done with his shit.)

let me tell u about this fuckin FIC. it’s hilarious, but i first read it before i meticulously started storing and bookmarking my fave fics, so when i wanted to reread it i couldnt find it. but i KNEW it was hilarious so i spent fckn hours looking for it, and it took me hours too bc i coulnt figure out which tags to filter. but it was WORTH IT. the entire concept of this fic is hilarious and makes me laugh. amazing work.

4. Whose bright idea was this? by IronScript

When Lance is captured during a mission with the MFE pilots, he wakes up aboard Haggar's ship, though the witch herself isn't there, so he figures why waste an opportunity? Then he finds something that he definitely hadn't expected.

All the while, he has no idea that back at the Garrison, his team and a few select others are watching his every move.

bro the idea that the team is panicked for lance’s safety and they desperately organise a rescue mission for him terrified that hes getting tortured and losing hope but by the time they find him he’s already got one foot out the door and has rescued himself is ENDLESSLY funny to me. like he really said ‘damsel in distress who’ and i love him for that lmao

5. Garfle! Warfle! Snick! by IronScript

How the game show episode actually should have happened.

I'll admit to being a Lance stan, but even people who don't like him seem to agree that he was really fucked over in this episode. So here's my attempt at it. Is it more realistic than what actually happened? I like to think so.

another ironscript fic bc they nail bamf lance. this is how the gameshow WOULD have gone if vld gave a shit about their characters like actually. like yes of course the team is proud of each other and capable of acknowledging mistakes. of course keith knows lance’s worth. of course lance is a badass. of course the team knows wtf theyre doing. love to read this when i get mad about the game show

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#have a lot of fics i Looked for today #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #bamf lance #team as family #klance #pining lance #soft klance #fic rec #fic rec friday #longpost

[robinismywifee]

in my room || pt. 1

pairings madly inlove!ellie williams x madly inlove!reader

summary based of the song, in my room by insane clown posse

warnings reader stalks ellie? just lowkey creepy reader, reader has trouble eating due to her mothers death, not much warnings for this chapter since its the backstory and how they met, but theres gonna be KINKY smut in the other chapters

a/n idk how many chapters this will be, 3-5?? its in 3rd pov with some flashbacks that are 1st pov and i really hope nobody has based an ellie fic off this song bc im really proud of it since it was my own idea lol, also i think for the next short fic i do its gonna be like an 80s camp consular thing if u guys want that??

wordcount 4k

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4

—

aime and ellie had been best friends ever since they met eachother. ever since aime first laid eyes on ellie, she knew she was going to be hers, ellie didnt even know she existed, but she was hers.

aime remembers the first time seeing ellie like it was yesterday, even though it was almost 6 years ago.

aime was walking down the road of jackson, walking down to get food, and stopped by the horse stables when she heard a mention of new people.

"yeah, apparently it was actually just tommys brother" the older male teenager said from inside the stable

"tommy has a brother? and he has a neice? i didnt know that, where were they?" the slightly younger, also male, teenager said, also from inside the stable

"no, the girl wasnt his kid, i heard her calling him by his name and tommy didnt know her, i dont know their relation but theres a rumor that they traveled from maine to here on feet"

"that's impossible, and why would he travel all those states with some kid? maybe he knew her mom"

"yea, i have no fucking clue.. hey give me a hand with this-"

and with that, aime was back on her feet, done with easedropping

hmm.. a new girl and a new man?

aime didnt know anything about it. she had just gotton back from sneaking outside the walls, only coming back because the empty feeling in her stomach was getting to hard to ignore

she walked into jacksons cafeteria, immediately spotting the back of girl with brown hair (with lots of red undertones) tied up into a ponytail, sitting next to a bigger man, aime immediately noticed the food the girl had stuffed into her pockets.

she walked quietly over and hid herself behind a pilar that held the building up, well not actually but in her little 14 year old brain, if that thick wood pilar were to be chopped off, the whole roof would come down with it.

she peaked over the piller, now infront of the girl, able to see her face.

and thats when she felt it. its impossible to describe with measly words of what she felt, but she just knew. she saw the girls eyes, she could tell from the meters away she stood, that they were the most beautiful eyes she's ever seen. they were green, the edges of her eyes lighter, more like chartreuse, but got darker in the middle, like a juniper green, and is that a mix of cedar brown in there too?

after getting lost in the unknown girls eyes, she moved her back behind the pilar, hiding herself completely, she couldnt help but a small smile forming. the bright energy she carried radiated off her. shes mine.

the day after, she watched out her window as the girl from the food center, which she learned by now her name was ellie.. what an adorable, name.. it suited her face so well.. escaped with one of the horses from the stables. she had watched as she rode off, peaking over her shoulder making sure nobody saw her leave, which nobody did, execpt of course aime, but aime didnt mind her leaving, because she knew she was to see her again, and would finally then introduce herself.

it wasnt for months until ellie came back. the guy who she came with, tommy's brother, which aime had also learned awhile backs name was joel, came back with her as well. they both were fearly bruised, scarred, but they came back.

her girl came back for her.

aime had lived in an empty house, it was small, only one floor, but it still had two bedrooms, but technically only one considering the other bedroom was boarded shut with wood and nails across the doorframe, leaving everything inside the room completely abandoned.

it was her mothers room. the same mother that had tought aime to kill every person in sight that wasn't her, no matter their pleads or screams, no matter if they did absolutely nothing wrong. if they breathed it was a threat.

it felt weird, after going her whole entire life of killing every single person without a second thought, to just.. not. to just.. let the strangers pick her up and drag her to saftey.

i cradled my mother that was covered head to toe in blood, holding her head in my lap, i stared blankly down at her, the emotion i felt was overwhelming, my vision was foggy, blurring, blackening, my chest was moving up and down rapidly, but my eyes didnt even near water.

my mom always had a lot of rules i needed to follow, and to never cry was one of them, she told me it meant i was weak, and it was a threat for our lives to be weak, to show emotion to others.

my ears also rung, i knew there was people around, their light beamed down onto us, i was waiting for them to shoot us, i mean, why wouldnt they? some girl comes to the gates of their community, skin and clothes soaked and covered completely in crimson red, matching the women she held as she collapsed to the floor.

but when my vison faded to black, the ringing got louder, and louder, until it was completely dark and silent.

2 days later, im sitting in a chair, leaned over, my elbows to my knees, hand cupped tangled into my mothers. she layed in the hopsital bed, tubes connected to her, a moniter beeping

i was inside a community. the community that i showed up to the gates. i had passed out, and they took us both in, immediately getting my mother that had a gunshot wound to the head medical attention, she's still alive, the bullet only grazing her, but not conscious, the doctor says its a coma, and she could wake up in one minute, or never, and theres no way to tell, and they also couldnt tell how messed up she was until she woke up. i had only passed out asleep, a really deep sleep from how exhausted i had been from doing all that running with no sleep for days and no food or water for too long.

me and my mother had to leave the cabin that we had been staying at since a horde of runners was coming through and we didnt have enough supplies to take them down, and while trying to find a new home, we ran into these guys, it didnt go well. but when i saw burning smoke from not too far ahead, i dragged my mother's unconscious body towards it, just in hopes that it was a community home to moral people. i had collapsed at the gates once i had gotten there, i couldnt even push out a single word, i though my mother had died,

i had broken so many rules. i trusted these people. let them take us in, i wanted them to. i asked for their help. i didnt kill them, i still havent killed them, i dont want to kill them!

the community is called jackson, aime had asked the guy, whos wife was basically the leader, his name tonmy, why he took her in, he asked why wouldnt he, and explained to her that her and her mother were no threat, and she was just a child, with her hurt mother that did no harm. he gave them their own home, aimes mother got moved into it too, still in her coma.

that was when aime was 11. her mom didnt wake up for almost 3 years, and when she did wake up, she wasnt good. it took weeks for her to gain full consciousness, and when she was fully conscious, it was only a week before she passed.

some stupid infection apparently.

then, 2 weeks later, ellie showed up again.

aime watched from her bedroom window as ellie and joel walked on the path, accompanied by tommy and maria. ellies eyes were empty, she didnt have the energy she radiated before, and aime was determined to regain her the energy.

aime had already planned out how she was gonna interact with ellie and how she was gonna get her to fall inlove. she decided on not introducing herself until a few days or maybe even a week after her arrival. ellie was already getting bombarded by everyone, so once everyone calmed down, aime was gonna make ellie speak to her first.

aime had spent the next 5 days sneaking around and.. well, stalking ellie. she needed to find out what she was like, what her interests were, her pet peeves, that kind of stuff.

ellie liked astronomy, books about space and planets, that type of stuff, were stored into her room on her shelf, while a half opened comic of ‘savage starlight’ seemed to be what she was currently reading. ellie liked to draw and write, even more if she was listening to her walkman during it, aime assumed that she used writing to get her thoughts out or maybe as a coping mechanism. aime had a strong temptation to sneak into ellies room and snoop through her journal and see what she wrote about, or to even check what music was in her walkman, but she knew that was going too far and if she were to get caught, it would ruin everything.

she also saw ellie talking to dina and jesse a few times. aime bit back her jealousy when she did, dina and jesse were dating and have been for awhile and so clearly are inlove with one another and aime shouldnt worry about them getting in the way.

aime didn’t necessarily have friends, she was really quiet, reserved, she wasnt even supposed to be in a community, ever, and under the circumstances of her mom, people understood why she wasnt bright and cheery. the only time she talked was when she was spoken to, but aime decided she needed to push past it, and finally become a real person. finally have a fucking personality.

a few months after aimes first arrival when she was 11, maria had talked to her about putting some work in, aime undertsood, as she was getting free medical care for her mother, free food, free water, free shelter, and agreed on it, at first maria put her on teaching the young kids how to read and write, but aime hated it, and begged maria to do patrol with the older teenagers, but since she was only 11, maria said no, and put her on teaching kids self defense. aime had tought the kids how to protect themself from others for 2 years before maria finally agreed for aime to do group patrol.

aime was the only 13 year old allowed to go on patrol, after maria had seen how good she was and after aime begging for years, she was the exception.

aime woke up early, gently brushing her hair till it was smooth and soft. she decided on folding the peices of her hair to make two french braids, her hair ending a few inches below her shoulders, from the hot and sticky weather. it was spring, and the weather had been unpredictable, going from rainy and gloomy one day to sunny and sticky the next. today was a sunny-hot day. she splashed cold water on her face, patting it dry, and applied cherry scented lip balm that glossed her pink lips and left a red tint.

her patrol group had rode past some old underwear store a few weeks ago, and aime had snuck behind the group, searching until she found a pair that looked close enough to her size. she wore the bra she had gotten from that day, pushing up her small breasts to make them look full, and put on a simple white tank top, just barley showing off her cleavage. she just wore regular jeans with it, they were dark blue, warn out, hugging her hips perfectly, the bottom of them got baggy, covering the hightop part of her converse. she should probably wear her boots today, it had rained a few days ago and would be muddy, but ellie wore her converse shoes everyday so aime would wear hers too, to match.

once the girl was ready, she stuck her lipgloss into her pocket just in case, and left.

“hey aimees! you’re up pretty early” jesse smiled, as he sat on one of the bar stools to the same cafeteria where aime first saw ellie. jesse was super friendly, he definitely would call aime his friend, if not, his best friend, but aime wouldn’t consider him her friend. its not that she didnt like him, she actually found him quiet amusing, but she wasnt really the people type and didnt like opening up to people.

“yeah, i woke up at 5, couldnt fall back asleep so i just thought i’d take my time getting ready and actually get breakfast for once” i nodded

“troubles with sleeping again? maria has pills for that i think if you ask her about it im sure she wouldn’t mind giving you some” he said with that look in his eyes that everyone else had been giving her lately

“jesse, stop”

“stop what? im just trying to help”

“yeah, thats the problem, i dont need help, and stop giving me that sad look”

jesse stayed quiet, aime left him, ording some food, once she had gotten it, she came back and sat down, staring at it. she never was good with eating, but ever since her mothers death, its been worse. she picked at the pancake with her fork. the only reason she had gotten food was because maria talked to her the other day about how she never eats and she asked her to grab food before patrol today, she said she would, and she alwyas keeps her word. she didnt think it would be this hard, but now that the food was infront of her, she felt sick.

“you okay?” jesse asked

“m’ great” aime hummed, slicing off a peice of pancake and shoving it into her mouth. she slowly ate, a simple conversation with jesse going on between, when suddenly he asked about her.

“have you met ellie yet?”

aimes eyes widened, but quickly went to normal. jesse didnt notice. “uh, no? is that the new girl?” she asked looking up from he food, she asked as if she didnt spend every other second of her day thinking about her. hell, two nights ago she spent, watching her.

“yeah, she’s actually pretty cool, and she said she would come here this morning and dina too, thats why i was here in the first place, they should be here soon”

“hm” aime hummed quietly, pretending not to care. jesse continued talking about dina, just him thinking outloud basically, until he stopped mid sentence to start a new sentence to new people- “oh! finally, i was starting to think you guys ditched me” jesse smiled to the two girls, aimes eyes were glued to her plate, only a few bites were left of her pancake and she only ordered one, and had been here for about at least 20 minutes.

“hey jesse!” aime heard dinas voice, the corner of her eyes she could see dina coming up to jesse to give him a quick hug, before she turned to aime

“hey aime! how you’ve been?” dina asked gently, aime rolled her eyes. she hated it. she hated the way people treated her. aime saw dina everyday, and dina always asked the same question as if it was gonna make her depression disappear.

“great” aime mumbled, ignoring her thumping heart of being only a few feet away from ellie

it was silent for a few seconds, “oh! aime, meet ellie!” dina cheered, how the fuck can she be this happy at 6:30 in the morning? everyday too. “hey” she mumbled, not looking at ellie at all. aime pretended as if she didn’t care. “uh, hi” ellie shuffled awkwardly from behind her

“come on aime! actually introduced yourself”

dina smiled, waiting for us to fully meet.

i hopped off my seat, standing only a foot away from ellie, we were about the same height, execpt i was a few inches taller

i smiled at her awkwardness. “hey ellie, im aime, i live next door to you in the wooden house” i lifted my hand out to her, she looked up to me, confused at my sudden change of personality, “hi..” ellie said quietly, unsure of what to say since aime already knew her name

aime looked down to ellies arm as ellie connected her hand to hers, aime felt sparks in her stomach, and ellie felt weird too, but she assumed it was just the anxiety of meeting a new pretty girl.

aime immediately felt worried for ellie as she noticed the white bandaged wrapped around her arm, she hadnt notice it before, from ellie always wearing long sleeves until now, aime let go of ellies hand, eyebrows furred, aimes left hand held ellies arm right beneath the bandage, while she reached out with her right and traced gently over it, “what happened? are you okay?” aime asked, her voice was calm, but panic was inside her

aime batted her eyes down to the girl, aimes dark brown, almost black, eyes met with ellies jade eyes. “oh, its just uh- a small wound from- a, from a knife, and its wrapped so it doesnt get in-infected” ellie stammered, aime watched as ellies eyes glued to the wood ground, and ellies cheecks blushed red

“that sucks,” aime started, she slid her hands that were on her right arm down to meet with ellies right hand, both of aimes hands grazing over her hand and brushing against her fingers, “i hope it heals fine” aime stood there for a few seconds, just playing with ellies fingers, “i gotta go,

group patrol starts soon, it was nice meeting you, ellie” aime smiled to her, dropping her hand and leaving, not even bothering saying goodbye to dina or jesse who stood there confused and shocked

once aime left the building, jesse and dina both looked at eachother, mouth ajar, ellie stood there, her thoughts racing over trying to figure out what just happened to her, surely she was like that with everyone?

“that was insane!” dina was the first to speak, ellie finally looked up confused, “what was?” she asked, jesse and dina looked at eachother once more, and back to ellie

“nothing, its just..” dina tried to explain but couldnt find the words, “shes never like that, i mean, her smile when she looked at you was genuine, she never smiles! and she continued the conversation? she never does, she always is super quiet” jesse explained better, “oh” was all ellie could say.

“hey, i thought you couldnt do group patrol until 16?” ellie asked, she wanted to do it but both joel and maria immediately said no. “yeah, you cant” jesse shrugged, “what? shes 16? you guys said she was our age” ellie asked confused, “no, shes 14, shes just the only one allowed to do patrol that young”

“oh, how come?”

“just is” jesse shrugged

the rest of the day ellie spent asking and asking jesse and dina questions about aime. ellie felt so intrigued by her and wanted- no, needed, to learn more about her.

the next day, after aime finished patrol, she layed on her couch, writing about a certain girl in her journal when a knock came to her door. she placed her journal down with the pen ontop, before walking over to the window, she peaked out, seeing jesse standing there, she sighed, unlocking and opening the door

“hey aimees, me, dina, and ellie were gonna hangout at my place, play card games, wanted to know if you wanna hang with, we can be as noisy as we want, my moms not home” jesse smiled

once aime heard that ellie was going, she knew she was going, but she needed to not seem suspicious. “uhh.. i dont know” she hummed, “come on, what were you even doing before?” he asked, peaking behind me, aime glanced over her shoulder looking at my journal on the table, “not much” she said with a shrug, “exactly! come on, go get your shoes on, ill be waiting, okay thanks!” jesse said, and before aime could reply, jesse grabbed the door handle and shut the front door

aime smiled, her plan working, she rushed to her bedroom, applying more lipgloss, and tying her shoes, she brushed out her hair, she kept on her pajamas, she wore a dark wine red hoodie, and black plush shorts

“jeez, took you long enough” jesse over exaggerated, “whatever, you’re lucky im going”

when aime showed up, she pretend that she didnt feel like she wanted to grab the nearest kicthen knife and repeativly stab dina in the chest. what did dina say that was so funny to make ellie grab onto her shoulder like that?

“oh! hey guys, hey aime! im glad you came!” dina smiled, aime gave a small nod with a small smile

“come on! sit, we have the cards ready!” dina exlcaimed, aime sat directly infront of ellie on the ground, jesse and dina next to me, as they started playing uno

“hey ellie” aime smiled, not bothering saying hi back to dina, everyone could already see blush forming on ellie, “hi aime” and with that they started the game

once it got really late, and dina had fallen asleep, aime decided that she and ellie were gonna leave, and they would finally be alone. aime stood up, not bothering to fix her shorts that rose up from sitting down, now exposing her ass. “its getting late, i have patrol early tomorrow, i should get going” aime said, looking down between jesse and ellie, ellie stood up too, “yeah, joel wanted me home by 10” ellie fidgeted her fingers looking at jesse and dina, they were both leaned against the couch still on the ground, dina asleep with her head on his shoulder

“all good, im getting pretty tired too, see you guys tomorrow, get home safe” jesse waved bye, aime nodded and turned around to leave,

knowing ellie was following behind her

ellie trailed behind aime, her eyes trailing to the loose hem of the girls shorts, she could feel her face getting hot

aime could feel ellies eyes on her, so she peaked over her shoulders, smirking to herself once she saw ellies eyes flicker around back to the ground as she pretending like she wasnt looking

aime stopped walking, waiting till ellie caught up to her until they were side by side

ellie kept her eyes on the ground, feeling embarrassed, knowing the aime had saw her looking. aime stared into the girls eyes

“has anyone ever told you that you have the prettiest eyes in the whole existence?” aime asked softly, ellies face grew even hotter, she took at least 30 seconds to reply as her brain malfunctioned. “no” ellie said softly, “oh, well you do, i could just look at them forever, theyre so easy to get lost in” aime continued, knowing it was making ellie incredibly flustered

“i- thank you..” ellie said in just above a whisper, about a minute pasted before ellie spoke up, “you have really pretty eyes too”

“thank you, ellie” aime smiled, ellie finally looked back up to her, smiled with her

after that, they chatted and joked until ellie stopped infront of her house, “do you.. maybe wanna come in?” ellie asked, fidgeting with her fingers, aime smiled, walked closer to the girl, and grabbed her hand and connected it with hers to stop her from fidgeting. “i would love to”

and from that day on, ellie and aime became best friends, always with eachother like they were conjoined twins

but it didnt end like that

#ellie williams #ellie williams tlou #the last of us #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x oc #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you

[sniperr]

sorry if this digs up any old wounds but almost 10 years ago you got me through hard times when i lost my own friend and i wish i was more empathetic to you at that time since you were also going through a lot yourself (very distinctly remember an adult that shouldn't have been with you at that point) its probably too little too late but i hope youre doing better. feel free to delete or ignore this. im really happy to see you got on hormones i know that was smth u wanted all those yrs ago ^^

i'll be honest, i don't remember much from back then (bad memory + trying to forget trauma) so no worries about pulling up bad memories, it's either hard for me to recall or i remeber but moved past them. otherwise that sounds really familiar, i'm pretty sure i know the adult you're referring to- he was prob 4-5 years older than me and thankfully that relationship was shortlived. if anything i'm really glad to hear i was able to be there and help you through what happened, i hope you're in a much better place now too

it's been a bumpy road for me and i'm still far from being outta the woods, but i was able to start hrt in march after i turned 17 and finally got top surgery two years ago a day after my birthday so things have been pretty good on that front!

#sir talksalot #sorry for not remembering 100% tho.. you're more than welcome to shoot another mssg my way anon or not! #i'd prob remember with a bit more chatting but i can't make any promises 😅😭

[vacantgodling]

formatting this is gonna be a bit wild however some sixteen candles nonsense. for those unaware this is a wip that is all based in a group chat (think discord) where the names of threads, usernames, etc all change. but the main point is they’re all queer besties who’ve known each other for 16 years and they get up to Shenanigans!!

(if u need anything else clarified just ask. remember: all typos are there for a reason so if things are unreadable i’ll also clarify)

the proposal

tw(s): mentions of sex, drug use, cursing, bad spelling, lots of slang

usernames:

Nanette Rosenfeld -> Nanette

Ranger Pellish -> ranger danger

Vanilla Vega -> VaniVee

Roger Grant -> no

Tucker Hayes -> TUCKerware

Nanette: So I have some unfortunate news to bring to the class.

TUCKerware: oooOoOoO stry tme!

ranger danger: did ur teacher spring a surprise mid-term on you lmao

VaniVee: or!! :000 you had a overnight shift at work you didn’t want to do because your supposed to be spending time with us this weekend!!!

no: What happened nan?

Nanette: My girlfriend broke up with me.

VaniVee: OH NO NETTIE ; 3;

TUCKerware: shld i bet some1 up?????? was she a bicth?

ranger danger: b i c t h

ranger danger: god i hate u lmaooooo

TUCKerware: if i hd th gif i woulda put it hre

ranger danger: found it

ranger danger: i have that shit SAVED

no: Am I the only one who Didn’t know nan had a girlfriend?

no: Just me?

no: ok.

ranger danger: no lol i was going to ask the same thing

ranger danger: young lady, you didn’t even tell the class you h a d a girlfriend

Nanette: It was short lived. We were only seeing each other “officially” for 2 weeks. I don’t like to introduce people to you all unless we’ve been together for at least 6 months.

VaniVee: omg 6 months??? is this why ive never met any of your girlfriends nan?? >:((

TUCKerware: we met stphanie!

ranger danger: stephanieeeeeeee she was so cooooooool

VaniVee: i don’t remember a stephanie :((

Nanette: She wasn’t worth remembering. After the second time she told me she’d quit cocaine and she didn’t, I realized that it wasn’t worth the effort.

no: COCAINE

no: NAN WHAT

no: THATS WHAT HAPPENED TO HER???

ranger danger: y i k e s

Nanette: This is why I don’t introduce you all to my girlfriends.

ranger danger: bc you always pick the bad ones?

Nanette: That, and because introducing them to you all is like introducing them to the family. There’s no point in introducing you all to someone who I don’t think will be permanent.

VaniVee: aww nettieeeee ; 3; ilyyyyyy

TUCKerware: nanny ilysm

no: <3<3

ranger danger: none of you all love nan as much as me

ranger danger: i love u baby <3

VaniVee: wait but what happened with this girlfriend???

ranger danger: yeah why so soon

TUCKerware: u kno i thro dwn 4 u nan

TUCKerware: say th word n i GOTCHu

Nanette: Said by the same man who calls me ‘nanny.’

TUCKerware: nuuuuuuuuuuuu

TUCKerware: ur liek my mom nannyyyyyy

ranger danger: can u imagine nan being a mother because i can’t

ranger danger: i feel like she’d leave her kids at the mall if they pissed her off

VaniVee: i can’t see nan being pregnant tbh,,,,, . n.;;;;

ranger danger: GAG

TUCKERware: mby getting sm1… :eyes:

Nanette: When I went on a date with her this afternoon, she brought up the topic of marriage.

no: I love how nan immediately ignored all of you haha

Nanette: I was a little taken aback since like I said we’d only been talking for two weeks at this point.

ranger danger: gag

VaniVee: ….. how did she bring it up?

Nanette: She said: “I was scrolling on your instagram, babe, and I see that you take a lot of pictures with the same few people, but definitely with this one guy. Who is he?” She then showed me a picture from my page of Ranger and I.

ranger danger: which picture

Nanette: The ferris wheel one. When we went to Kony Island for my cousin’s wedding.

ranger danger: lmao the one from like 3 years ago

ranger danger: why is she scrolling back so far lmaooo

ranger danger: my hair was so bad in that picture

Nanette: I think she picked that photo because on the third picture, you were kissing my cheek.

VaniVee: i somehow feel like i know where this is going ;;;;;;

Nanette: I’m sure you do, Vani.

no: I don’t.

TUCKerware: nithr do i frfr

ranger danger: she jealous or something

Nanette: I assume so. I told her that you were my best friend, and she said “Oh, so like a gay best friend? Like, gay lesbian solidarity?”

ranger danger: at least she clocked me for not straight l m a o

TUCKerware: i dnt hve a gaydar bt mine goez off whnevr ur around

no: I had a nightmare about ranger being straight once.

ranger danger: god don’t tell me about it

ranger danger: u may give me nightmares lmao

VaniVee: what did you say nan??? :00

Nanette: I told her that Ranger was bi, so you could call it ‘queer solidarity.’ However, we’ve known each other for 16 years so he is genuinely just one of my best friends. I wasn’t sure how else to respond to her question.

ranger danger: why do i feel like she asked u if we’d ever fucked before

ranger danger: like ‘oh is that how u realized u were gay’

ranger danger: as tho m/f friendships can’t exist lmao

TUCKerware: bt u nd nan DO fck smtms

ranger danger: i mean but that’s irrelevant to the conversation l m a o

ranger danger: if nan got a girl and didn’t wanna fuck me cuz of that i mean that’s chill

Nanette: You aren’t necessarily wrong. She didn’t seem to like my answer when I said that you were bi, so I asked if there was some kind of problem with that, or what she was trying to imply. She then said that she wasn’t sure she wanted the two of us to be so close.

no: Like in general?

Nanette: Yes. As friends. I didn’t mention anything about sex.

VaniVee: :////////////

ranger danger: LOLOLOLOL

no: uh….

TUCKerware: lls iz she joshin

ranger danger: I’M SORRY

ranger danger: IMAGINE THINKING YOU CAN INFLUENCE SOMETHING THAT’S BEEN AROUND SINCE BEFORE YOU’D BEEN THOUGHT OF

ranger danger: its the audacity for me

no: What’s wrong with you and ranger being friends? You’re literally dating *her*, aren’t you?

Nanette: That’s when the wedding part of her question came up. She asked: ‘Since you all are so close, would he be like, the best man at our wedding?’

ranger danger: if u ever get married nan, i fucking better be

ranger danger: i will cry if i’m not

VaniVee: speaking of weddings, i was going to ask you to be my maid of honor whenever i get married nan!! ; 3;

VaniVee: i would love to see you in a champagne dress it would match ur skintone so well ; 3;

Nanette: Vani I would do anything for you.

VaniVee: OR!!! you could wear a champagne jumpsuit if you’d like!

VaniVee: i just want to see you in champagne!!!!

VaniVee: or rose gold?? :000

TUCKerware: wht colors wld u prefer vani?

ranger danger: wouldn’t you like to know, lover boy

TUCKerware: Shut The Fuck Up.

ranger danger: LMAO he had to use big boy words for that one roge

no: hahahaha

Nanette: I told her that it would be too early to consider a wedding between the two of us, and as it were, I would marry Ranger before I married her. However, if I were to get married to anyone else, he would be my best man without question.

ranger danger: nan what are you saying

ranger danger: like bby if you wanted to get hitched that’s all you had to say <3

Nanette: When do you want to go to the courthouse?

ranger danger: oh my god forreal

Nanette: I need health insurance.

ranger danger: TOO RIGHT

ranger danger: but no seriously would you actually marry me

ranger danger: not in like a romantic way because like

ranger danger: ew

ranger danger: but in a platonic way?

ranger danger: like ur my soulmate nan

ranger danger: u get me.

ranger danger: i know i’m like ur side hoe but like hear me out

no: Is ranger proposing in our group chat right now?

TUCKerware: shhhhhhh i gt th popcorn

ranger danger: ur the only person i would ever want to sign off on my medical shit

ranger danger: and like owning a house with you sounds lit?

ranger danger: i know we don’t have to be married to do that but like

ranger danger: nan idk how to tell u that ur my favorite person on planet earth

Nanette: You just did lol.

ranger danger: NO BUT LIKE

ranger danger: i know you don’t know what i mean but you know what i mean

ranger danger: right???

ranger danger: ugh finish your story i’m thinking way too hard about this

Nanette: If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you’re thinking about this too hard. In any relationship that I’m in, if they aren’t cool with you then I’m not interested in them. You come first for me, always.

VaniVee: I’M CRYING??? THIS IS SO SWEET?????

ranger danger: YOU’RE CRYING I’M WEEPING

ranger danger: NAN WTF DON’T VALIDATE ME LIKE THIS

ranger danger: I’M A NUISANCE

Nanette: Yes, but you’re my nuisance. My favorite headache.

ranger danger: even over ur girl tho ??

ranger danger: i guess i don’t know what you’d be getting out of getting hitched with me

ranger danger: aren’t marriages supposed to be like a romantic thing ??

ranger danger: idk u allos explain this to me

no: Well technically marriage’s are just saying this is someone I trust enough to conjoin taxes with for the rest of my life.

no: So I don’t see why you and nan couldn’t get married.

no: You’re both financially capable to have a successful union

TUCKerware: lls rogeeeee

no: Is it obvious that my views on a successful marriage have been skewed?

VaniVee: i’ve heard about friends getting married all the time!!! aside from all the benefits like roge is talking about, being best friends and wanting to put that relationship before anything else isn’t weird!!!! i’ve seen people talking about it online!!!! especially aromantic people!!!

ranger danger: huh

ranger danger: sometimes i feel like i’m bad at being queer lol i know nothing about this stuff

TUCKerware: sme bro

TUCKerware: bt liek. its not liek theres a LAW sayng u gtta b in LUV to be married

TUCKerware: liek ukno romanticlaly

ranger danger: *romantically

TUCKerware: so if u and nan want to get married because you feel the most comfortable with each other and no one else can get between you two, why not?

ranger danger: damn he used real words for me and everything

Nanette: It’s not something we have to make a decision on right this second or anything. But I do hope you know that your fondness is more than definitely reciprocated, Ranger.

ranger danger: i’m actually crying at work rn i hate y’all

TUCKerware: dnt get it in2 th beeeerrrrr

TUCKerware: i shld pck u up frm wrk 2day

TUCKerware: im arnd there rn lol

TUCKerware: wht time u gt off?

ranger danger: whenever you’re clocking in big boy

ranger danger: i’ll see myself out

TUCKerware: ;))))

ranger danger: i get off at like 9 i came in early tonight so i’m coming home with shit money

VaniVee: :((((((

VaniVee: but that means you’re free this weekend right!!!! RIGHT???? >:((

ranger danger: LMAO yes queen i took off for our sleepover

VaniVee: good <3

VaniVee: and roge, you’re still coming right?? you can bring mittens!!

Nanette: Ah, yes. The Feline.

no: <3<3<3 I’ll be heading over in a bit! I’ll stop by the store to get some extra food, if you don’t mind me using your kitchen, Vani?

VaniVee: roge i am begging you to use my kitchen.

VaniVee: I GOT A LAZY SUSAN SPICE RACK JUST FOR YOU!!!!

no: Vani!!!! You’re too sweet!!!! No!!!! I’m gonna make you so much cake!!!!

VaniVee: YES!!!! CAKE!!!!! <3<3<3

ranger danger: also don’t worry future wife i have ur allergy meds

Nanette: Thank you, future husband <3

ranger danger: !!!!!!

ranger danger: i think that just killed me actually

TUCKerware: llssssss

VaniVee: im gonna start setting up for the sleepover!! see y’all soon!! ilyyy <3

TUCKerware: ily2!

ranger danger: see how he’s the first to respond roge lol

no: hahaha

TUCKerware: I Will Shit In Your Mouth

ranger danger: do it pussy

Nanette: Boys, behave.

no: See y’all soon!

ranger danger: my boss is yelling at me to get off my phone lol whOOps

Nanette: Vani, I’ll be there soon.

VaniVee: kk <3<3

#s: sixteen candles #ren writing

[fefairys]

11, 17, and 49 for the ask game!! :3

you didn't specify so im doing EVERYONE under the cut bc this is a lot. i got way too into the logistics of the first question sorry. this answer got so so fucking long holy shit. this is what happens when u let me talk about these guys

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

now this is an interesting question cause not to give away the secrets but at least 4 of these bitches have powers that u cant just replicate and it would immediately be obvious to anyone who's close with them... i wonder if in the question, impersonation accounts for stuff like that? we also don't know what these impersonators know about the characters in question.. maybe you could ask fake!Psy something as simple as "do you like cats?" and they'd fuck up right there!

we have to assume that they know enough to impersonate them on a superficial level, mimicking their speech and mannerisms, and have at least a basic knowledge of their hobbies and interests and day-to-day life and likes and dislikes if they actually want to fool anyone, right? so lets assume that much, i suppose.

im kind of stuck on the powers thing. dunno how someone would just mimic that kind of thing, but i also dont want to just say out loud the parts of these characters that are supposed to be more like subtext? but if they're such a close copy that they even have their powers, then they must know everything about them, too, so that's TOO close of a copy for the purposes of this question.

alright im just gonna ignore all that and give you the answers i think are funniest.

if someone was impersonating psy, they'd simply use their powers to knock them out or something. lets also assume psy cant help for the rest of these because otherwise its just like "psy reads their mind and knows immediately"

for melody im imagining some shit like that scene from adventure time where finn asks pb to prove that she's real to recite what she wrote on his birthday card two(?) years ago, word for word, and shes like "finn how could i possibly remember that?" and he's like "🥺i remember......" that would be jett trying to figure out who's the real melody lmao ok but how would they actually discern this... lol ask about the lore of her Galaxy's Oath Online character :') there u go <3 (if u dont know what galaxys oath online is bc u havent read every single ask on the blog dont worry about it u will know next chapter)

for jett just give him super specific death note trivia. it can practically recite the entire series from memory and has read the manga and novellas like at least 5 times each if not more. u could literally be like "whats the first word Light says in episode 16 of death note?" and he wouldn't even have to think about it for that long he'd just know.

tate... well as of now i dont think any of his friends know him well enough for this to be honest with you (sad), but like, his sister could probably do it. ask him the name of the first boy he had a crush on because he was ANNOOOOOYYYING about that.

for guy, ask him what his plans are for the day. i think that would work. he has everything planned out down to like the fucking second so he can be fuckin everywhere at once.

probably shouldn't answer these for conner and rotom right now </3

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

ok well first of all what do *i* notice when i look in the mirror hold on. ok i just checked. answer is my eyebrows. would not have known that just in general lmao so this is a tricky question bc i would never think about something like this

psy - they hate looking in the mirror and avoid it as much as possible. i cant imagine them focusing on any one feature, honestly. its like a blur to them. they dont want to see it at all. what do most people notice? hm. idk im thinking about the two times they've appeared in my dreams as a real person and what i first Noticed and it was their glasses im pretty sure. Defining Characteristic...

melody - definitely her smile she loves her lips and her smile she will smile at herself in the mirror all day. i think other people also notice her smile first if they're further away, but close up they probably notice her pink color contacts haha those are pretty striking

jett - when it looks in the mirror it immediately is checking the Hair to see if it needs touching up. very important. other people also definitely notice his hair first and foremost because i mean look at it.

tate - first, his eyes + mole (its a package deal) but he's p vain and can just stare at himself in the mirror forever, just his whole face, checkin himself out cuz hes soooo hot. other people notice the mole under his eye, its pretty striking. i was gonna say hair cuz its fucking ourple but like jett already got hair lets do something different. (dante wrote this one lol)

guy - he notices his eyes + eyebrows first. he got those big bushy eyebrows that stand out, and beautiful dark brown eyes..... other people usually notice his Arms first. (dante wrote this one as well 😎)

conner - his freckles he loves his freckles :) other people first notice how short he is because he's 5 feet tall hehe

rotom - lips or nose... other people probably notice faer fucking full facepaint xe always wears lol. more specifically the lips bc it wears black lipstick so that catches the eye

49. Would they eat something they find gross to be polite? psy - hell fucking no melody - she would at LEAST take a bite and if she hates it she'd politely be like "its just not for me ^.^;;" jett - no lol it'd be like "im autistic i cant eat this sorry" tate - depends on the person he'd be disappointing if he didn't like it... like in some cases he'd be like "that looks yuckydisgusting im not eating that" and in other cases he'd be like "mmm!! s-sooo good!*gags*" guy - same as melody. he'd probably give it more than one bite though just to make sure, like, maybe it'll be better on the second bite? maybe if i keep eating it it'll get good? he might eat like a quarter of it before giving up conner - absolutely. always. rotom - fuck no lol

#asks #usernameproxy #psy comic #answer meme #psy asks

[singwhenyoucantspeak]

Twenty questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag @blackdalek! I feel like i maybe have not written enough for these answers to be that interesting but i'm going to do it anyway because fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Three. Although there are two other fics on fanfic.net that I never moved over to AO3. Full disclosure, I don't go by this url on AO3 or ffn because when I started writing fic i was still closeted even to this tumblr blog, which seems insane in retrospect LOL (also I have a lot of IRL friends on this blog now who don't need to go reading my fanfic. I guess that is where i draw the line XD so if u are an IRL maybe ignore the rest of this post. or don't - read on at your own risk lmao)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

47,860 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

OUAT - Swan Queen (although I have not written for them in about 9 years soooo. I should really fix that. but let's be real, I do not write very often in general)

Supergirl - General Danvers

Grey's Anatomy - Meddison

there are other fandoms that I definitely started writing things for and then abandoned before I even posted anything. Oh I did write Rizzoli & Isles fic a lot like 10 years ago but never posted any of it except for a crossover fic that still lives (and will die) on ffn. In retrospect that fic was v problematic due to copganda.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lol I only have 3 fics on AO3 so guess they are my top 3.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Although I have not been lately because lately they're all like "I love this fic hope you come back to it" and um I can't really say if I will come back to it or not! I would like to, buuuut it's far more likely that when I start writing again it'll be something new. Who knows though! I am definitely at a better position in life to start writing again now than I have been for the last 2 years.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

well... I think i've only completed two fics ever LOL the first was a pretty fluffy one shot (i think... idk it was ffn era so who remembers). Rooftop Negotiations is pretty angsty in general but it does have a hopeful ending (and I prevented Astra from dying so how angsty could that really be XD)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think all of my fics are intended to have happy endings, but they're for the most part unfinished so I couldn't say which would be the happiest ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Hmmmm I cannot remember if I ever have. It depends what you consider hate. I did get a very weird comment on one of my fics by someone who was really aggressively angry that I had abandoned it. So that was weird. I also got some criticism on that crossover fic I previously mentioned and yeah in retrospect that criticism was well founded.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

heh heh not usually but I can think of one scene that I wrote. If I ever continue my multichapter meddison fic I will have to decide if I want to write smut or not. I did rate it M so...

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Oh the crossover. Look, when I first started writing fic it was just me and my tumblr friend emailing a google doc back and forth, alternating each chapter, writing only for ourselves with no direction planned and no intention of posting it anywhere. And yes, we loved a crossover. Mostly it was Rizzoli & Isles and OUAT crossovers but my co-writer loved to introduce new crossovers without warning so those fics got out of control very quickly. But the first fic I ever posted was a crossover (again Rizzoli & Isles and OUAT). Can anything really be considered a crazy crossover though when OUAT is involved? the show itself is a crazy crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as i know!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that i know of (although I did start writing a fic in another language once. I never posted it though)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

uh the unofficial never posted fics mentioned above LOL

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

probably still Swan Queen tbh. I will never be over them. I feel like I have devoted my whole adult life to them.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Can I go where you go?

I sooo want to finish it. Writing that fic was the most disciplined I have ever been with fic writing and the only reason I stopped was because I moved across the country, started a new job, and got into a new relationship all at the same time and life was chaos for 2 years.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I *think* I am good at dialogue. I can usually hear a conversation between characters in my head and when I write dialogue I'm really just like transcribing what they're saying.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

description kills me. I cannot keep track of character's movements through space, I generally don't care about what their surroundings look like so I forget that the audience might want to know. My ideal fic would just be written like a play where I only have to provide the spoken lines and no other information or direction.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't think I've tried other than the time that I tried writing the entire fanfic in another language. I have read many a SQ fic that sprinkles Spanish dialogue in for Regina and tbh it is so hit or miss as to how well it works that I dunno if I ever would try it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OUAT/Rizzoli & Isles (was a crossover lmao)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

at this point, Rooftop Negotiations because i actually finished it and succeeded at staying within the scope of what I set out to achieve. and for what that was, I think I implemented it all quite well.

#about me #tag game #fic writers meme

[kiratheperson]

I posted 24,119 times in 2022

That's 21,589 more posts than 2021!

8 posts created (0%)

24,111 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bobo-the-part-time-clown

@elytrians

@edelgard-enjoyer

@fardf150

@ziseviolet

I tagged 2,185 of my posts in 2022

#goncharov - 549 posts

#unreality - 324 posts

#aesthetic - 250 posts

#save - 243 posts

#overgrown aesthetic - 43 posts

#dracula - 41 posts

#dracula daily - 38 posts

#<- prev tags - 18 posts

#this is beautiful - 16 posts

#me - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i could have gotten ‘total loser of a guy who will never amount to anything’ as a result and it would have been less devastating then this

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

changed my theme >:)

0 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

#4

I think u may be stuck on the dashboard of 4 days ago but u should know that martin scorsese himself reacted to goncharov 😳

Yes I do know!!!! It’s amazing this is peak goncharov

The reason Im reblogging posts from 4 days ago is cuz I hit the post limit in like 4 hours on the first day of goncharov and then I filled up my queue with at least 400 goncharov posts. In addition to the normal posts. So now I have 500 posts in my queue. I regret nothing.

2 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#3

omg that’s adorable I love it

how has your day been btw?

2 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#2

hey feel free to answer this privately or just . ignore it + I'm not sure how to phrase this well but ... are u Asian ? (LMAO) I don't see a lot of queer Asian ppl in my specific tumblr circle so I'm always happy and surprised when I see other asian ppl on here . sorry if this is a weird question ✋🥲

Yeah I'm Chinese!!! Dw, I'm cool with this kinda question, you know since it's in good faith and all. And I get it cuz it's always awesome to see other queer Asians :D

2 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hello, I'm once again asking you about your OCs because I'm curious! I hope that's okay? Who are Iphi and Jack? I love the first one's name. And if I remember right Jack is aro? That's neat, I haven't really seen a lot of aro characters before! /pos

Thank you for the ask!!! Sorry this is pretty late btw, I haven’t had time to answer it lol

(That’s Iphi on the left, Jack on the right. First is a picrew, second isn’t my art but like. I haven’t drawn Jack yet so that’s kinda their ref for now)

But it is rant time!! Imma start with Iphi! Because I kinda need to explain her to give context for Jack’s lore. 

So Iphi is the god of sacrifice in this little fantasy world I made, Kunyang! She’s a pretty old god, a couple of thousand years old, but she’s still the second youngest one lol.

In Kunyang, gods are born when they sprout from the seeds of the god tree. The god tree is in the divine realm, which is a different realm entirely from the physical realm, but very rarely, a god seed can arrive in the physical realm.

Anyways, this seed fell into the hands of a very magically powerful person. They had magic potential that could honestly rival a god- and yeah, they believed they were destined for great things because of it. So, they were determined to be the person who caused the god seed to sprout.

So in Kunyang, there was once this library called the Archives, run by the god of knowledge himself, Ephius. This person went to Ephius, and they were told that the seed was for the god of sacrifice. Ephius told the person that to sprout a god seed, they’d need sacrifices from thousands of people. This person wanted to do it, all by themself.

And so, they sacrificed everything. Family, friends, fortune, and fame. All gone, in the hopes of making a legacy. The seed did not sprout, because it wasn’t enough. So this person decided that they would need to make a very big sacrifice, one big enough to make the seed sprout.

They decided to banish the Archives from the physical realm into the divine realm, sacrificing humanity’s access to the library of all knowledge. And that was indeed a big enough sacrifice to give birth to a new god!

And that’s how Iphi was created. But the thing is- that’s really not how you’re supposed to create a god. So she was kind of corrupted from birth. This corruption prevented her from having a lot of character traits that one might consider important to being human.

Iphi does not feel happiness, or satisfaction. No sorrow or regret. Nothing of that sort. But she is working towards a goal: and that is creating a legacy. Having an effect on the world. (Her only contributor to her creation imprinted heavily on her.)

And because of that, she is very active in all manners of sacrifice. Every day, she’s constantly getting people to make sacrifices to her, amassing followers in many different lands. This also increases her powers heavily.

The way her powers work, they’re kinda like payment based. She gets someone to sacrifice something for her, and she can create something else of equal value to that something. (The more important that something was to the person who sacrificed it, the more she can create and do.) Like, she could make a giant wall of fire, or acid rain, or bury a country in gold if she had enough magic. Which she absolutely does. But she mostly saves the magic potential she receives for later.

And also, Iphi doesn’t truly care about anything other than making a mark on the world. She doesn’t mind if people die or suffer because her sacrifices took something too important- if anything, she wants to do that, because it’s quite a way of making your mark on the world.

Oh, and I gotta add- she can’t do this all without a little help! And that’s where Jack comes in.

They’re also a couple thousand years old, but quite younger than Iphi. So they used to be a court jester. Mortal and everything. They should have had a life of a normal length, be just another person in the world, but then they fell in love with Iphi.

And yeah they’re aromantic! It’s not romantic love, it’s alterous love. But yeah they felt a deep emotional attraction, and they wanted to be in a relationship (not a romantic or platonic one though). Anyways, Iphi doesn’t feel the same way. She doesn’t love Jack. But she thought it was convenient to have someone in love with her, and to keep them around, so she offered Jack a sacrifice.

She’d give them eternity, and they would be her servant.

Jack honestly didn’t want to do that at first, but then they had a near-death experience, and agreed to her terms.

So Iphi took their physical body, and also their independence.

Because it would be inconvenient if her servant got bored or wanted to take back the sacrifice. So Jack quite literally cannot think unless she wills it. They’re barely conscious until Iphi needs them, and only then can they think again.

Jack isn’t even aware this happens. To them, it feels like they just woke up, or they just simply forgot what happened during that time

Iphi also messed with Jack’s mind a bit, to amplify their devotion. And yeah, Jack is completely, utterly devoted to her. They would die for her, they’d be tortured for her, they would kill for her too. Nothing is off the table. They’d do anything she says. And they truly love her.

Jack mostly stays in the divine realm, usually, until Iphi sends them to the physical realm to do something for her. That something is usually extorting people to get more sacrifices. Jack pretty much curses people, and then offers to remove that curse in exchange for a sacrifice. (That’s how Janessa got cursed, actually [have I talked about her?] but Jack forgot they cursed her lmao.)

Anywayssss there is some more lore, but this is pretty fucking long already lmao so Imma just end this here. Unless you’d like to hear more!!

3 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #yeahhhhh my top post was 3 notes lol

[purplerabbite]

I think it's really funny when people act like their life's like a movie.

I had a friend that had hung out with a girl a few years ago ONCE and ran into her again at the gas station cuz she transfered from the same chain just a different location. He got her number and that same night he got drunk and told her he really liked her and had for along time.

She blew him off

For some context that date had never been clarified as anything more than 2 people that had a mutual friend getting to know each other. He had tired to kiss her at the end of the night and she politely moved away and they "conicentaly" never hung out alone again. He later went on to date another girl for 4 years.

So this confession was not only whole heartily unwarranted but also either a lie or the 4 year relationship was.

When I talked to him about it he mostly just said he didn't understand why she wouldn't go on a date with him. I didn't know what to tell him.

We aren't friends anymore for a different reason but now I know what I wish I had told him.

You're not the main character.

You're not Scott Pilgrim

This isn't 500 days of Summer

You're not gonna impress anyone getting drunk and spilling ur purse.

You're not The Guy that gets the girlTM

You're never gonna be that guy no ones that guy.

Life's only a movie in a bad way in a way like when shit is so profoundly bad and u lost ur wallet and ur out of gas and then u go to walk to God knows wear to get help and u fall on ur face cuz ur shoe was untied and a homeless man laughs at you.

This isn't about me not believing in romance and this isn't about how dudes don't deserve there Manic Pixy Dream Girl (you don't and even if u did u don't want her) this about how no matter who u are remembering the world doesn't revolve around u and that real love takes a lot more work that a bottle of wisky and some texts at 3am.

Life's a movie when u ask a girl out you go on a few dates and she dumps u the week of Christmas and u really liked her so u stay friends even though u cried all through winter break.

You keep in touch and you become good friends she makes you cookies on your birthday. This wasn't what you wanted but you're happy to just have her with you in any way.

Not in a "Holding Out Hope Agains All Odds and My Better Judgement" but instead being happy to have friends so kind as to listen to you and be there for you.

Years pass you still have feeling deeper than friendship but you valued your current relationship with them enough to respect they don't feel the same way. You haven't quite moved on but you have tired.

She invites you too her graduation she's getting her associates . You're so proud of her. You watched her work so hard every day you watched her cry and break down you brought her water and snacks so she wouldn't feel so drained. You helped when you could and were just there for her when you couldn't.

You talk with her family her dad loved you her mom keeps asking questions about you.

Her best friend had whispered to her all night about something. You figured it was about there gowns or something you ignore it.

She walks the stage and then it's time for pictures. Her dad pulls you into the family and there u are immortalized as her New Best Friend. It's not what u wanted but you're so happy to just be there.

She offered to drive you to your car. "It's dark and cold out I just want to make sure ur safe"

She does love you that's all you ever wanted

You make the drive it takes 5 minutes. She turns to you and she says she has something to tell you.

She loves you. She really loves you she has wanted to tell u for months but she didn't know how. She wished she'd never dumped you.

You're glad she had. It allowed you to have a wonderful friendship. You know her so well now she knows you.

This is why she loves you. She got to know you.

Life can be like a movie but not in the way you want it to be. Movies are about 2 hours you can't expect a happy ending that quickly.

Put in some effort learn something be patient and when things aren't going how u want them to accept it with out expectations of it changing

I got a happy ending after 2 years and now my happy ending has become a nearly 3 year relationship. It wasn't at all like a movie. Not until the very end when I had learned it wasn't about me. It isn't about who you are but instead what you do for others, what you mean to them.

Don't get drunk and spill your purse.

Stay sober and be her friend.

#relationship #just gay things #gaylove #straight people #scott pilgram vs the world #manic pixie nightmare #manic pixie dream world #manic pixie dream girl #advice #advice for the young at heart

[kuntniss]

hello sierra i am having stranger things thoughts after losing my st hyperfixation like 4 months ago so feel free to ignore this but i want to say words

ok first of all i have been thinking about the party’s relationship w running specifically the original party but also everyone else because i feel like there’s 2 possible reactions that they have post-encountering the upside down. i think some of them can’t run anywhere without having essentially flashbacks to running from the monsters (will. to me.) but others of them run all the time because they feel like they have to be faster they can’t risk being too slow it’s a way of trying to take back control (mike. to me.)

anyways second thought completely unrelated but ive also been thinking about el’s relationship w gender through the lens of her relationship w her name because like obviously “eleven” is. not Her. eleven is someone with no control, someone who’s barely even anyone, someone she doesn’t ever want to be again. but i especially think that post-lenora her relationship with “jane” is also kind of negative, because not only is jane the girl who was taken, but now jane is also the girl who was ostracized and hiding and who felt broken. and i think that if she explores those feelings she would not only be like wow i’m not jane or eleven, i’m just el, but i think she also might be like wow i’m not that girl OR that other girl, in part because i’m not really a girl.

anyways thank u for coming to my tedtalk i’d be interested in hearing your thoughts but again feel free to ignore me :)

omg hi!!! hi hi hi

i absolutely LOVE that. you are so fucking right with both of them. will getting caught up with his own ptsd and flashbacks… yeah. especially because he’s literally in the place that we have no idea what he went through there and the only people who do are him & vecna. so he’s been handling this shit for awhile. or if he didn’t remember anything, i love the thought that he only starts remembering there so it’s like an extra thing no one was expecting. mike being slower in canon and usually like #no Sports no sprinting just No. but trying to run like hell because he won’t be the one to hold things back and he will not let vecna win. him trying to take back control since he hasn’t felt that since probably el “died” in season one and then again when bob did… <3 yeah. and i feel like lucas would sprint like hell too and yeah because he’s athletic but also because he’s ready to do whatever he needs to do to not lose anymore people and to get max back. and to not let vecna win. i feel like he’d be more controlled with the situation than other characters who might lose their grip on things too you know. it just makes sense that he wouldn’t be the one to slow things down. i don’t really know about dustin yet? i mean, we know he’s pretty fast and doesn’t mind running so. plus i do think eddie dying would allow him to explore more of that aspect of his character and be a motivator more than anything.

i think about the el thing all the time!! you literally said exactly what i’ve thought for months. and yeah, she might like more Feminine™️ shit but that’s also her way of trying to feel human again. like she belongs to herself. it’s not always honest (how she puts on makeup only when mike comes lol she’s trying to be as teenage girl as possible) but it’s okay either way yk, she’ll find her place in the middle, i think she’ll probably not really have a defined gender because she doesn’t wanna put herself in a box or category like she was for years. she’s just el. and also a lesbian which yes mayhe goes against my no label thing for her but it’s also a way of coming to something on her own and that feels right and her rather than a societal expectation so it’s okay 👍 you’re very right about all of that

#grips your shoulders… thank you for coming to me #inbox #anonymous #txt

[flowered-mp3]

u guys.... i just cried in my bf's car yesterday (again!) lol pls skip this but i know some of y'all invested and i just need an outlet so......

so like... my bf raised an interesting question weeks ago, essentially asking me "how do u know if ur in love?". i was a little caught off guard at the time, but i answered that i wasn't sure, because i've never been in love. then, i asked him the same question and he thought that he might've loved one of his exes, but he wasn't entirely sure, either.

then, flash forward to last week, when he called me at night (like he normally does). usually he tends to get in his feelings at that time, and started to ask if i thought that our relationship was moving too fast. and to be fair, it was moving fast but i never felt uncomfortable with it? it never felt wrong. we 100% progressed faster than most couples but it never felt wrong. we just did whatever we felt comfortable with. he also told me that this is the fastest that he's ever fallen for someone, and the fastest that he's ever had a gf meet his family/go on staycation/be physical, etc. so, he was afraid that because he's so into me, he would miss any signs of potential points of conflict. and the reason why this was bugging him was because he doesn't want to lose me. there were times in his previous relationships where he ignored those issues because he was so enamoured initially, and obv those relationships ended. the idea of losing me terrifies him, and vice versa for me.

next, i asked what brought this on and he stayed silent for a while before saying that on the last day of our staycation, he wanted to say that he loved me. i was so shook over the phone that i started crying. idk why i just couldn't believe my ears.

but then, he backtracked again because he was also scared because he also wasn't sure if what he was feeling was love - similar to me. he also mentioned that a couple of days before our staycation he statted asking around "how do you know that you're in love" and the only person online was his ex (she wasn't a great gf to him and kinda toxic, they dated 3 to 4 years ago, but she recently reappeared in his life to apologize for what she did to him. honestly? good for her, and i hope that she's happy with her new bf) so that kinda made me :/ but it's ok because it worked out lol just wait. anyways, we essentially talked it out and i said that there's no pressure for him to figure it out. feelings are complicated.

so i also said that i didn't think that i was ready to say that i loved him yet. and he was so sweet about it, saying that he would wait however long that i needed :')

ok so flash forward to the present. i was thinking alot over the past week and i was just kinda realizing that wow. i really like him. but saying that i really like him isn't really cutting it anymore. and when i went to his house for a bday party for his uncle tonight, i kinda just realized that fuck. i fell in love with him, and i didn't even fully recognize it. just looking at him the whole night, seeing how much he cares for his family, how loud his laugh is when someone says something really funny, the way that he holds my hand or traces his fingers on my knee absentmindedly, the way that he remembers that i'm introverted so he always tries to look for signs of my social battery running out. i knew that i would do anything for him, but it didn't really hit me until that moment.

i just realized that i wanted this for our future. for us to have a house together, to invite family over. to host something like this, except that i would be the person scrambling to cook and he would be taking out the alcohol for people to choose from.

so when he was driving me home, all the emotions came rushing through me. we were at a light and he stopped at it, glancing at me (as he usually does). all it took was for me to look at his face for me to be close to tears.

he immediately asked me what was wrong, and i said nothing. it was really late and it's a long drive, so i didn't want to inconvenience him. but then, he turned into a gas station 2 mins after and looked at me like "what's wrong, baby?" and i just. started tearing up. he started to comfort me, thinking that something made me upset or mad but instead, i looked at him, took a few deep breaths to gather the courage, and kissed him. i pulled away just enough to look into his eyes, and i said "i love you, too" with tears in my eyes.

i still remember the way that his eyes widened before i wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him, basically sobbing that i loved him. i was rambling at that point, being like “idk why i’m crying i’m not upset i’m so happy but idk i’m really emotional idk why i’m crying”. and then he asked me how i knew and i said that i didn’t really know, it just felt like something that i wanted to say. i just started spilling my heart out to him, saying that he makes me the happiest girl in the world, and that sometimes i care for him more than i care for myself, and how i want him to succeed in life and that i saw how he treats his family with such care and just???? i could tell that he was tearing up and i could just cry typing this out again.

then, he pulled out his phone and i was confused for a second, but then he started to pull up the convo he had with his ex - i really didn’t have anything to worry about. all he did was ask “how do u know if ur in love” and essentially just talked about me the entire time, saying that how much he liked me and how he didn’t know how to navigate all this because he’s never fallen so fast and hard for someone and that he thinks that i’m his last, that i’m the one. my heart :’)

then, all the details are a blur after that except for some. like i remember i was just rambling about my feelings and crying so i just pressed my forehead against his and tried to take a breath. but then, he said that he loved me too and his voice was cracking. once i heard those words come from him i immediately fell apart. he tucked his head into my neck and we hugged and cried. he pulled away just to look at me, and said that i was smart and beautiful and caring, and he loves that i love my family, that we laugh at the same stupid shit and that he imagines a future with us.

then, everything just made sense. all the times where he would hug me and pull away to look at me in the eyes, saying “i really like you.”, or when i said that i’ve always dreamed of having my own reading room with shelves of books that reached the ceiling (i told him this when we weren’t even dating), he remembered that and said “i really have to work harder on this program, this project will be a good asset on my resume when i’m applying for work after graduation. gotta afford a reading room, you know?” :’) or when he asked me how many years of dating would it take for me to think that it’s appropriate to get married, or when he said that he planned to date me for a very long time, or when he said that i make him want to be a better man.

then, in the midst of us crying, i said that i also think that he’s the one and he pulled me in for another kiss, hugged me, and we both just broke down and started to full on sob. i’m talking smiling and laughing and talking while crying, tears streaming down my face, saying that i think that he’s smart and kind and spontaneous and funny, and how i know that he can argue with his dad and sister but i know that he loves them, and that he loves his family very much. and how he’s always so in tune to my feelings that i don’t even notice. we were just sobbing in his car and hugging and kissing and saying that we loved eachother in the middle of a fucking gas station at 10:30 pm.

eventually when we calmed down, he started to drive again and i asked him how he knew. he couldn’t really pinpoint much either but he had some things. he said that he would remember the smallest details about me, like my mannerisms and such. the little random dances that i did when walking to his car when he picks me up, or when i wanted to show him something in the backyard and i reached for his hand. then, he said something so domestic and romantic that i just melted. on the last night of our staycation, he had sudden inspiration for his program and needed to do some quick research before bed. it was pretty late, 1 am it think, so i told him to come to bed soon. so, i decided to read a book until he was ready to sleep. 

so, he told me that he looked at me on the bed, book in hand, glasses on, reading light on, and found so much comfort in it. we didn’t exchange any words, but he realized that he wanted that. for us to share a bed in a place that we have together. he wants that comfy future, and he wants it with me and adlkfjd :’)

i also asked how long he was waiting to say it, and he didn’t give me a specific timeline he just said that he watched a podcast where they were like “when is it ok to say i love you” and one girl said 3-4 months lol so he wanted to wait 3-4 months but couldn’t lol. which is ok, because i couldn’t wait 3-4 months either. essentially, we couldn’t really pinpoint how we knew, we just kinda knew? 

so, he dropped me off home and said that he loved eachother before leaving. then, when he got home he texted me “have a good night, my love” and i want to SCREAM like THIS MAN IS NOT REAL alsdkfjdlk

anyways this is lovely. my feelings are all aldsfkjasdlkfjdafj but my bf loves me and i love him and there’s a mx comeback tomorrow. overall, it’s looking ok u guys :)

and to think that all this started with my friend forcing me to get a dating app :’)

#delete later

[trixstriforce]

canonically, the Four Sword has had 5 individual masters, 4 who wielded it under the name "Four Sword" and 3 who have only wielded it as the "Four Sword" individually, and yet the fandom commonly only depicts these heros as 1 or more commonly 2 people??? 3 if we r lucky??? why tho?????

the Hero of Men(Minish Cap Prologue), Hero of the Minish(Minish Cap), 1st Hero of the Four Sword(Four Swords Prologue), 2nd Hero of the Four Sword(Four Swords), and the 3rd Hero of the Four Sword(Four Sword Adventures) r all canonically different people who lived at least a century if not more apart??? long enough for everyone besides the last 2 to become less history more legends in the next Hero's time?????

the Four Sword is the second most powerful weapon in loz, its history is rlly interesting and rich...its nearly as old as Hyrule itself and is the only ancient blade other than the Master sword to have more than 2 Links master it bc iirc the Phantom Blade and Lokomo Sword just have the Hero of Wind and Hero of Spirits

...SO WHY IS IT SO UNDERRATED??? like man yall sleepin on the interesting explorations u could have w/ each Link's relationship to the sword and its legacy but instead shove them all into two ppl or ONE GUY and erase that long history behind the blade and its role in keeping Hyrule safe for CENTURIES in a row w/out need for the master sword to the point ppl in Hyrule have multiple legends and at least 1 festival surrounding its mythos

also?? Vaati is the only villan to be the final boss other than Ganon in multiple games, he was the final boss in 2 and shows up in 3! hes a big deal!!! even if Ganon outranks him he is still a threat Hyrule faced for centuries??? dont downplay him to only face 2 heros when he faced at least 3 maybe 4 but idk if the first Hero of the Four Sword canonically fought Vaati or if it was something vague like the Hero of Men's adversary...still he has history and by the time of Four Swords Adventures hes fucking ANCIENT like easily the oldest not divine being in Hyrule by a LARGE margin at that point in canon...

like, i get merging the second and third hero of the Four Sword bc like...Four Swords and Four Swords Adventures COULD be seen as the same Link bc the games flow into eachother well and for years ppl assume they were the same guy! thats cool, i do not mind this, but still there was another dude who wielded the sword before them in the prologue of Four Swords and then there is the guy who forged the legendary blade like long enough ago for it to be a myth and ALSO the guy who used the blade first and sealed away every single monster for at least a century and was important enough to get a festival...yeah dont forget about those guys even if only 1 of them had a game at least acknowledge the other 2 also had the sword dont just ignore them or merge them into the Links who had games that defeats the purpose of them being in legends...

like, to me, its about legacy and responsibility and repeating history and not about one boy with one rlly cool sword he made/found but a line of Heros who history has not cared to remember in favor of those blessed by the blade of evil's bane...and yall rlly just do not see the irony there when the fanon does not merge every Link who wielded the master sword together into 1 or 2 guys off the basis they *check notes* mastwred the same legendary blade at different times in history

#loz #link #four swords #four swords adventures #minish cap #trix posts #listen i just. have many thoguhts about these guys #so many thoguhts #its so boring to me to merge them #this is so xlear what main au im tlaking about i dont even think this cohnts as a vauge post #but its not just about that au its fanon in general #i just rlly like the hero of men and the 1st hero of the four sword ngl #they r such silly guys...god i love every wielder kf the blade all 5 of them live rent free in my head #is this a rant #idk #someone tell me

[gontagokuhara]

2019 vs. 2024 hot takes exactly 0 people asked for (now with opinions on the dr3 characters!)

and because im mentally ill im elaborating below the cut because at least i’m cognizant of how few people share this illness with me ❤️

first of all. some categories were edited (+added). we shall address them all in due time 🫶 but just for posterity before we begin: top of the category is the one that best exemplifies the category title and it moves in descending order; so as gonta is my #1 my GOAT, pedo udg guy is the one i want to kill himself most. understandable? ok 🫶

2019 top 5-tier is slightly unfortunately named but other than that changes in 2024 are somewhat minimal. as is perhaps obvious if you have seen even one (1) danganronpa post from me: gonta is My character hes mine spike chunsoft dont get him like i do. AND i love sdr2. nagito is my very very close second i am so incredibly mentally ill about him Oh if you all could see the hundreds of thousands of words ive written about that fucking guy. also true of hajime. still true of sonia (<3 i love u girlie) and fuyuhiko but to a lesser extent (i have written so much sdr2. its a problem. we persist). they are characters we see a lot of and in that same vein give SO much to build upon in further character exploration. and boy do i do that. holds the five of them In my arms i love you babygirls

S tier excellents again prove i am an sdr2 enjoyer. i think it also showcases how much i REALLY love the v3 characters while absolutely hating the plot they were stuck in. kaede and shuuichi are SOOOO special 2 me u dont understand…….im going to have so many thoughts and be So mad when i replay v3. kokichi is VERY interesting and my thoughts on him are endless (hi evan) and there is soooo much there even if i also have to fundamentally hate him somewhat because of 3-4. also a wide array of sdr2 characters are here of course……on my most recent replay i have come to really appreciate imposter (better sexier byakuya ❤️) and ibuki . and i was kind of surprised how high some of the dr1 characters are (besides chihiro who has consistently been my dr1 #1) but sorry dr3 made me love the makoto/kyouko/aoi trio sooooo bad.

lots of variety in the A tier which are all characters i enjoy, they just arent my Favorite barbie dolls to mash around u know. so many very unique personalities like mahiru, angie, tenko, and ryoma that weren’t explored as well as possible in canon, so its harder for me to personally invest in them. junko is iconic and she gets worse as the games go on but god. dr1 was craaaaaazy so she and mukuro have to be given props for that. im ignoring e-girl junko and v3 entirely <3 also again in watching dr3 while replaying sdr2 i really came to appreciate natsumi and her dynamic with hajime :[ rip girl i miss u. also also i liked koichi way more than expected LOL it must just be cuz hes hot but his death was sick as fuck and i liked his thruline with jin (the weird flirting with kyouko aside……)

B tier! bit of a mixed bag, from characters i like very begrudgingly (byakuya, sorry, i latched onto him as my rich terrible boyfriend when first playing years ago and the fondness kinda stuck 💔) to ones i do genuinely like, but they were not given much to do in canon (ryota) or their arcs fell flat (kirumi). also here are dr3 + udg characters i didnt mind or were just somewhat nice to makoto (also chisa, who is very interesting but i very much disliked how her character ended off) so shout out them (they are all dead) (or orphaned like monaca and kotoko).

C tier is basically my ‘i barely remember’ tier sry……i did not finish udg so i have so very few opinions on most of the characters. chihiro aoi and yasuhiro’s parents are chill tho shout out. not much to say tho

and now we enter the hater zone with D tier……look. some of these are hot takes and some arent. as much as i love sdr2 i just cannot ever make myself like hiyoko and teruteru. theyre kinda fucked from the getgo theyre never treated as especially serious characters but their glaring flaws are so bad i cant bring myself to care when the rest of the cast is SO GOOD. i also do not like kazuichi LMFAO as a sonia ride or die just as i cannot look past teruteru’s sexual harassment NEITHER CAN I LOOK PAST KAZUICHI’S ‼️‼️ yes i think he can be fixed but sonia needs a restraining order + when she was hoping he was the ch4 killer i was cheering. everyone else this category are just mid ass dr1 characters and the dr3 characters i found actively annoying. also monokuma. hes cringe but iconic and doesnt fit anywhere else

not much to be said about F tier. i did not finish udg but i know enough that i need haiji towa to die. i need the asshole who beat up hajime to die. i need the asshole who tried to kill makoto to die. i need that stupid old fuck heading the future foundation to die. the monokubs are fucking annoying. the only like Real characters here are 1) miu because she is written terribly and her cool talent is wasted, treats gonta like shit, isnt funny, is just nasty perv bait and her most meaningful contribution is to be fodder for the 2nd worse written case in the game. and as for NUMBER ONE WORST: tsumugi mostly just symbolizes my hatred for v3’s ending because outside of her role in 3-6 she has very little impact on the story before her reveal. also got my girlies kaede and rantarou killed God i hate the end of thisgame

and finally: oh my poor sweet bastards. why would they do this to you. these characters are either underutilized in a way that is DEVASTATING (izuru 💔) treated like shit as joke characters their potential is totally squandered by dogshit writing (everyone else — sdr2 you could have been so much better WHY!!!!!!). mikan and korekiyo’s motives are dogshit and make the ch3 double murder so much weaker. nekomaru and akane are played as jokes essentially their entire screentime and akane is especially egregious because shes a survivor among characters like FUYUHIKO!!! like SONIA!!! like HAJIME!!!!!!!!! AND YOU SQUANDER HER LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!! kaito suffers from really flip-floppy writing and he sucks a lot of the time Especially pre-localization but ive adopted him a little bit in writing him and i love my construction of him in my brain.

ok thats it. im so mentally ill. give me ur thoughts or do the tierlist urself. now pointy objects lockdown time 👍

#dr #meow

[minvrse]

ㅤ ♡ ͟ ׂ ㅤ2.23𝖠𝖬, l. minho

𝖧𝗂𝗌 𝖻𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗁 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾𝗇 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎. 𝖸𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍… 𝗌𝗈 𝖾𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅 𝗂𝗇 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌. 

𝗍𝖺𝗀𝗌. non idol au, idiots in love (minho is the idiot bcs reader is throwing signals like crazy, but he's blind lmao), childhood friends, fluff, skinship. ⸻ ( 1 . 4 𝗄 )

𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾. was supposed to go up on my old blog but I decided to post it here lmao. hope u enjoy this fluffy piece ‹𝟹 + 𝗆.𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍

FROM: YOU | TO: MINHO [2.32 am] hey, did you get home already? [2.32 am] i’m hungry  [2.32 am] up for a late night kbbq at our usual place? [2.33 am] i’m paying ‹𝟹 [2.33 am] no pressure tho ‹/𝟹

A soft smile rises to Minho’s lips when he fishes his phone out of his back pocket and sees your name pop up on his previously dark screen. He taps on it with his thumb, his heart swelling at the sight of his lockscreen—a candid picture of the two of you asleep, cuddled up on his parent's couch with Soonie, Doongie, and Dori on your laps. His mom had sneakily taken it a few weeks back on Christmas Eve, since, last year, it was your family's turn to spend the holidays at his childhood home. 

Alternating between both of your homes whenever the holidays came around had become a tradition ever since your parents befriended his only a few months after moving nextdoor, years ago. He could still clearly remember how shy and soft-spoken you were the first time you and your family came around, how eager you were to help set up the table to make a good impression on his parents, how you timidly came up to him sitting on the couch after dinner to ask if you could play with the cat he’d brought home from the streets only a few days ago—and how was he supposed to refuse your big eyes and adorable smile?

And though years have passed since that day, your pouty lip and those wide, glossy pupils of yours are still his biggest weaknesses to this day. Ask him to bring the moon to you with this combo, and he’ll find a way to do exactly that. 

FROM: YOU | TO: MINHO [2.34 am] PHOTO ATTACHMENT

His tired eyes try to focus on the picture you sent him, and his heart does a flip in his chest when he does. It’s a photo of your beautiful face—pouty bottom lip and all. 

He internally coos at it, saving it in his gallery (moving it into its designed folder) as he holds onto one of the poles of the half-empty metro with his other hand. He’s pretty sure that if any of the students from his dance studio saw him right now—all giddy and giggly and fond of someone—they wouldn’t recognise him at all. He’s known as this cold, unreachable, mysterious, but kind mentor who rarely lets anyone inside his close circle of friends; the one that gets bashful only when you call, text, or surprise visit him during work hours.  

More times than he can count, his students asked him if the two of you were dating, be they older or younger ones, and the question never fails to make him blush—because, damn, he wishes that were the case. 

Minho’s so in love with you, with every single aspect of you, with your voice and personality and features, with all of your strengths and flaws, because they make you… well, you. And sometimes, he’d daydream about finally having the guts to confess to you, but the fear of scaring you away holds him back—he’d rather try to ignore his feelings and preserve your current relationship instead of trying to change it and losing you.

And though he is so tired, so exhausted he just wants to go home and pass out on his bed until noon, but he wouldn’t pass up on the chance of spending time with you for the world. That’s why it takes mere seconds for him to type out and send you his response.

FROM: MINHO | TO: YOU [2.35 am] want me to pick you up?

The familiar ping informing him that he finally reached his final station, the one only a few feet from his apartment, reverberates in the metro car, and he quickly walks out of it as soon as the doors open. And as he walks up the stairs leading to the exit of the building, he can barely hold back the wide smile forming on his lips at the thought of seeing you soon.

His phone vibrates in his pocket once more, and he is quick to take it out. 

FROM: YOU | TO: MINHO [2.37 am] uhm, actually… [2.37 am] i’m outside the metro station in front of your building rn, sooooo

Your texts make him quicken his pace towards the exit—and surely, there you are: sitting on a bench under a bright streetlight, eyes set on the phone in your lap, and hands wrapped around a paper takeout coffee cup. He can see the steam coming out of the small opening of the lid as he approaches. 

His breath is always taken away whenever he sees you. You’re just… so ethereal in his eyes. 

The light snow falling from the dark sky, the already settled one covering everything around you, the warm light almost seeming to reflect on your perfectly white coat (the one he gifted you this Christmas), the way you meet eyes and show him the most beautiful of smiles—you could tell him you were an angel, and he would believe you. No questions asked.

“Hi.” is what he murmurs once he stands in front of you, and he melts when you look up at him from the bench with the softest of looks, bathed in the soft light shining above you. His gloved fingers reach out to brush away the few snowflakes settled on your head, making you quietly laugh before getting up from your seat.

“Hi.” you reply, handing him the cup from your hands before swiftly taking something from your bag. The delicate peck you place on his red, hot cheek makes his skin visibly burn with shyness, though he tries to cover it by chuckling once you start unexpectedly wrapping a warm, fluffy scarf around his neck. He can feel his whole being warm up at your sweet gesture, as well as taking up the chance to admire your features from a closer point of view. 

He studies your furrowed eyebrows, your concentrated gaze, the tip of your tongue peeking out of your lips before you accidentally meet eyes, and he looks away in embarrassment. He misses the way the corners of your lips tug up in a knowing smile.

A few more moments of comfortable silence pass, until you let out a satisfied hum before starting to speak—or rather, scold him, with that cute pout on your lips, “Here. You really have to start wearing scarves when you go out; it’s too cold to walk around without one, mainly at night. You’ll get sick, and then guess who'll go out with me in the middle of the night to stuff our faces with delicious food? Let me tell you—no one.”

He barely registers your words, eyes too enthralled in staring at the way your lips move, ears too engrossed in basking in the sound of your voice; but still, he gets the gist of it, and nods. “I will. Thank you.” he breathes, taking a sip of the coffee he’s holding.

You furrow your eyebrows, and snatch the cup away from his hands with an annoyed tisk. His signature smirk makes its way on his face at your pissed off frown, though it dies down when he sees you slot your lips on the lid exactly where his were. Knowing you're indirectly tasting his lips makes him shiver.

But before Minho impulsively decides to press his lips to yours (before he gives in to his desires and lets you taste his directly), he’s quick to lean down to take your bag from the wooden bench and throw it over his shoulder. You press another peck on his cheek as a thank you when he stands back straight, flustering him further.

Minho clears his throat, “Shall we?”

You vehemently nod, linking your arm with his before starting to walk in the direction of the kbbq place. “Mhm, I’m starving!” you pout, leaning your head on his shoulder as you match his pace.

His heart pounds faster at the warmth radiating off of you, the exhaustion he previously felt in his bones completely dissipated by now. And as he intently listens to you talk about your day, he pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth in a poor attempt to conceal his growing grin. 

He really is down bad for you—astronomically so. And he’s forever glad it’s you who he fell in love with. Now, he just needs to find the courage to confess to you before it’s too late.

taglist : @moon0fthenight

#skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #lee know #lee know fluff #lee know imagines #lee know x reader #lee minho #lee minho fluff #lee minho imagines #lee minho x reader #lee minho x you #lee know x you #kpop fluff #kpop imagines #skz soft thoughts #skz soft hours #stray kids soft hours #stray kids soft thoughts #lee know soft hours #lee know soft thoughts

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

1:32 am pdt 28 Jan u ary 2023 Saturday 🪐

The neighbor is playing music 🎼 loud again it’s got a booming loud bass speaker 🔊 it’s providing very dramatic 🎭 background sound as if I were in a thriller movie 🎥 like Jurassic park. 1:36 am pdt I had very strong painful cramps when I woke up after midnight 🕛. More diarrhea. Mom gave me medicine from the hospital 🏥 but it feels a little painful to drink. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if it’s the medicine or the incubus. 1:38 am pdt I drank it b4 midnight 🕛 b4 falling asleep 😴 I think 🤔 getting difficult 😞 2 remember. Need to write ✍️ it down next time. But I probably won’t take it again. 1:39 am pdt

tired. And hot flash. Exhaling hot 🥵 air. Nothing feels hot 🥵 on the surface. It might be inside closer to the lungs 🫁. 😞😖😭😫 ow my left ear 👂. Incubus wants me paranoid about the music. It’s more distant sounding this time than all the previous times. 1:42 am pdt maybe 🤔 the guy has a car 🚗 now and took it to his car 🚗???? 1:43 am pdt idk 🤷🏻‍♀️.

1:45 am pdt when I went to toilet 🚽 several minutes ago I saw 👀 something that looked like a vitamin I took b4 falling asleep 😴. 1:47 am pdt

1:47 am pdt I I saw 👀 in auto correct devil seven . Did not notice what was in the first square. Feels like he’s calling me those. 1:50 am pdt

29 Jan u ary 2023 Sunday ☀️ 12:12 pm pdt

HOT 🥵. My family doesn’t want me around. I have been too much trouble 4 them I guess all these years. From being too afraid 2 get a job when I was 16 years old and chatting online... and when I was 9 years old? I wasn’t understanding of my mom using my birthday 🎂 money from my grandparents to buy a microwave which I complained 2 my dad and it seemed 2 open a can of worms 🪱 I guess with my dad. I think 🤔 he might have used it as a reason 2 take my mom 2 court. I don’t know how that makes any sense to him 2 do that in retrospect. Maybe 🤔 my mom made more money 💰 than she let on and did not need 2 spend my birthday money 💰 (butt cheeks flesh PAIN 😖😭😖😭😤🥵😤🥵) I felt guilty about that for years. When my sister was in middle school 🏫 and I was in high school 🏫 my mom told her 2 ask me 4 money 💰 2 buy yearbooks. I think I took it from my own money 💰 I saved from dad. Usually dad gave equally to both of us? I think? So she could have easily bought it herself if she saved it. She went out with friends a lot and I usually stayed home 🏠. 12:21 pm pdt so she probably spent it then. From 2011- almost end of 2012 I didn’t go out often 4 fun. I had little time outside. 12:27 pm pdt my aunt is acting crazy to me for barricading the door 🚪 to make it more difficult for incubus to come in. She’s telling me I’m powerful and stubborn and telling me to pay the rent. I couldn’t breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ since 2019 but everyone ignored me. I was crawling on the floor when I had difficulty breathing in 2019/2020. She’s behaving like this after I confided in her about Scott. Same thing happened when I confided in my cousin. They both turned against me. 12:31 pm pdt

12:34 pm pdt my friend double checked her messages to Jane page Herman. It looks like Jane didn’t feel comfortable answering any questions and blocked her. It looks like incubus tormented Jane, too. 12:35 pm pdt

12:41 pm pdt incubus tore down my bones 🦴 a lot. My body looks very unattractive and absurd. I once thought 💭 I was falling in love with a former classmate who found me on MySpace. We hung out with out becoming physically intimate. He allowed me to take photos of him for a class project on Halloween 🎃. We went out a few times to eat. There was a moment I was ridiculously? Happy. I question now if it was natural. But he is a really nice guy. He feels like a safe person. And sometimes I wonder 💭 if I had committed to him if I would be happy now. When I decided to stop 🛑 seeing him I felt love 💕 sick in bed 🛌. 12:48 pm pdt oh I felt pain and difficulty breathing my thoughts 💭 lost the train 🚂. I asked once both mom and sister if I should marry him when he was in his way to pick me up 🆙 to go out to eat. I don’t remember him saying if it was a date and I didn’t say it was a date, but after I asked that, he arrived wearing a tie. 12:51 pm pdt shamefully, I didn’t think I could commit bcz I wasn’t attracted to him the way he was, but it didn’t stop 🛑 me from hanging out with him. I like having platonic? Friendships with guys - nice, fun guys; and if I wasn’t very attracted to them it made it easier to hang out with them for clean fun bcz of my curses. I once played drums 🪘 with drummers and I got a good beat going and we played together. When I was 11 years old and got kicked out of a bedroom for the way I played with Barbie dolls (I took something I should not have) I was kindly told to play video games with the stepbrother, and I think that was probably more fun than the Barbie dolls, and I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if he was pretending to have fun with me, but he begged me to play video games more. 12:58 pm pdt my ex and I watched anime together in his bedroom a lot, bcz it was what he wanted to do 😅 and then 2015 I was hooked on inuyasha, and after the breakup I marathon watched sailor moon 🌙 he gave me while I waited out my bleeding 🩸 nose 👃 that easily broke open every day that summer. 1 pm I have a lot of cramps diarrhea pain ever since she unbarricaded that door and I haven’t rebarricaded it. 1:01 pm pdt the incubus makes me hotter 🥵 than I ever been in my life. I don’t think it’s necessary to make me this hot 🥵 I feel like I’m going to die from the heat. I’ve been living in hot apartments all my life. Rarely I use air conditioning yet my mom gave my sister money 💰 to buy an air conditioner but she won’t buy one for us. 1:03 pm pdt

1:04 pm pdt 1:07 pm pdt heart pain incubus has intentions to kill me. I noticed yesterday my right eye looks a little dark as if it’s been bruised. What it is though is he’s been scratching the inside, the white part. 1:10 pm pdt I think he’s giving me the run around and the ring of fire. It burns burns burns the ring of fire the ring of fire 🎶🎼🎵🎤 1:11 pm pdt

Bcz I was shy and probably bcz of chronic eczema and a lot of head trauma, it was difficult for me 2 interact with a lot of people. Usually i got a little more comfortable with specific types of people but I won’t say what types here. From ≈2010 I relied more and more on my mom. She didn’t like me relying on her. When we visited my sister in New York after she had the baby, my mom told me to go out by myself to find more food. And when we were out together sometimes she was stingy even though it was my money. At the airport I wanted more than 1 slice of pizza, but she wouldn’t ask 4 me for more than 1 slice. And then I let her have the chair at the table and then people ran to me to give me chairs. I typed this in (chest getting hot exhaling HOT air 1:19 pm pdt). I don’t know why everyone was being mean to me including incubus. 1:20 pm pdt my eczema (and probably my head trauma ) made living in my body feel like a torture chamber I could never escape. 1:21 pm pdt 1:22 pm pdt. I remember once we shared a large? Pizza with my cousin when she was 9 years old. She wanted 2 eat half of it by herself. I told her she had to share and that I wanted a slice of the other toppings and she could have a slice of the other topping combination. She didn’t want it bcz it was vegetarian? And claimed she got diarrhea from eating vegetables. I think bcz of this I suggested that her dad take her to dinner b4 bringing her to our place. After that happened she bragged she ate a whole big pizza by herself. It probably wasn’t long after this? That she punched me very strongly in the head and my performance capabilities started 2 decline at work. 1:27 pm pdt

1:30 pm pdt when I was about 4 years old I borrowed a girl’s (neighbor) Barbie doll clothing without asking. But always had the intentions of returning all the clothing and I did. She noticed probably but didn’t like it probably bcz I didn’t ask and stopped playing with me. 1:32 pm pdt

1:37 pm pdt I started watching sailor moon when I was in middle school grade 7. I try to learn how to use the vcr to record it so I don’t miss it. 1:38 pm pdt heart pains 1:39 pm pdt

1:40 pm pdt on the phone after we were home from our trip to New York I told my sis I lost a l lot of weight during our visitation there. She tells me maybe I wasn’t a walking enough b4, and when she’s telling this to me she sounds like she hates me. I probably wasn’t friendly enough to her during the trip but it was bcz probably mostly that I had a lot of shame and guilt about past stufff and was trying to distance myself from her to keep myself out of trouble, so I don’t accidentally do something or so people cannot blame me for future bad stuff. But b4 she got married? (Brain/skull pain 1:44) they visited us at my apartment and she’s extremely distant to me and avoids talking to me and being alone with me and I don’t know why. 1:46 pm pdt(she came for a friend’s dads funeral 1:51 pm pdt) incubus makes every one distant and mean to me? 1:46 pm pdt she had her kids after she got married. It’s ironic she told me I don’t walk enough, when I wore myself extremely thin that trip and did 3 seasons of running sports. Diarrhea cramps. 1:48 pm pdt

1:52 pm pdt I guess I’m too selfish and I suck. No one likes me. Incubus hates me. I feel it on the inside that I’m wicked and selfish. I feel I emit bad vibes like Elsa in frozen. mom’s best friend for Christmas 2002? I think she gave an Elsa photo frame with pink roses painted on. Rise rising risen rose 🌹🥀🏵 I’m probably going to lose my hips and pelvis bone now. Incubus is giving me a lot of diarrhea cramps painful for the past 2 hours that’s been going fast. 1:57 pm pdt

2:01 pm pdt one evening I stayed at work extra hours in the evening to get work done, and everyone else was going out for dinner. She decided to come into the office and meets my boss. She acts as if she’s disappointed that I’m not going out to dinner with them even though she seems 2 disrespect me and avoided me beforehand. 2:03 pm pdt there are times we talked on the phone and she would say she will talk to me more next time. Next time she’s on the phone she doesn’t seem to ask to talk to me. I don’t know if it’s my blunder. (Sometimes we have a nice time talking. I don’t remember if I was trying too hard like I usually do 2:08 pm pdt) 2:05 pm pdt there’s something I was. Going to type but cannot remember again. This happens all the time. 2:06 pm pdt I don’t think they are going to let me remember it this time. 2:06 pm pdt oh I remember now. 2:09 pm pdt about adnan. I think I didn’t learn until after my wrist was broken that my sister actually had a crush on him. I met adnan first I think bcz he was in my class. They combined 2nd and third grades into one class. He was 2nd grade and I was third. I remember he was in my group after I came back to school from having the chicken pox. 2:11 pm pdt they let me name our group when I returned. 2:12 pmpdt incubus is trying to trick me again. Too much is going on with my body to believe anything he promises is anything good for me. Bcz he keeps saying marriage, wedding, rings, but all I get is flamed until I feel like I’m dying. No thanks incubus, no false promises necessary 2:14 pm pdt my sister had said one thing to adnan that made him angry that I never said. And she innocently told me later that she was like “ I like playing with you, too” to adnan, and even though I no longer had a class with adnan after that year and completely forgot about him the following year, she blamed me that they couldn’t be together. I guess she didn’t care that he broke my wrist and likes someone who might become a future wife beater. 2:18 pm pdt she was able to see him while I was stuck inside with chickenpox. She gave him my drawing. I did make her promise though to not date anyone my age or older than me at that time. But we were too young to be dating? I don’t really remember keeping her from him, or him from her. She dated a guy 11 years older than her that she met days b4 turning 18 years old. She has a lot of power. My mom empowered her probably for along time. 2:22 pm pdt there were times she locked me out of the bedroom and my mom allowed it. When we moved to blossom hill I remember allowing her decorate the bedroom however she wanted to. She did sleep on the top bunk. Maybe she didn’t like that... it’s hard being in a weird divorced family. It’s weird bcz I think when we were kids we maybe used to argue about who would get the top bunk (2:57 pm pdt b4 we ever got a bunk bed ? Hypothetically? we talked in case we would get one?? 2:58 pm pdt) but I got the bottom bunk with the fold out futon. It actually wasn’t good for my back it was all bumpy. 2:27 pm pdt but I used that bed for many years. From 2000? To end of 2014? No it was ≈ 2012/2013. I think I easily forgot about that. 2:29 pm pdt my sister almost caught up to me in height when she was 6th grade. 2:30 pm pdt I gave my nice twin mattress to my friend. 2:31 pm pdt

3:02 pm pdt still cannot breathe. Coughed. Pain skull right front bone skull😖😭😖😭 I never punched anyone that I can recall but god incubus likes to get me punched in the head and ram my head into dense hard objects that are stainless steel? And dense wood? And it makes me pass out or almost pass out, and for years I feel like putting my head on people’s shoulders. I remember when my parents were still together once, when I’m probably 6 years old, my sister says she’s done with eating dinner and she said it sweetly. Yet she didn’t eat vegetables. I don’t want to eat vegetables either. She then says she wants ice cream and my dad gives it to her. I say I want ice cream, too, but he tells me to eat the vegetables. 3:08 pm pdt I screamed for the ice cream. 3:08 pm pdt

3:11 pm pdt I remember finding drawings my sister did that illustrated our mom was dying of debt. I’m trying to recall if I added to that grief. Shortly after those drawings she transferred to New York to go to an expensive art college on loans, and maybe a partial scholarship? I don’t recall it covering everything bcz I remember the loan payments were complained about and I think I remember a big number for the loans. I would have stayed at the coummunity college longer to figure out what I wanted to do but the grants were coming to an end. I did federal work study and was still very shy. When I applied to transfer to a 4 year I remember one of the teachers thought I would not be accepted at one of the colleges. Maybe bcz it’s really hard to get in, but I don’t recall. For some reason I felt probably a little pain? From the comment? Maybe he didn’t mean it that way. Maybe he didn’t intend for it to hurt. 3:20 pm pdt

============= going back to thinking about the twin who I felt unwelcomed by, I dont know if (heart pain) he intended to make me feel that way, or if he has an anxiety introversion problem. 3:22 pm pdt

=============

maybe the incubus did not like that I ate a lot of cookies or pizza when I was in middle school and high school. But my sister caught up to me and surpassed me in height anyway. I thought I remember not eating much 4 breakfast and lunch for years and so I sometimes was a little greedy around cookies and pizza. I don’t know if it was pure greed at this point bcz it was long time ago or if it was an addiction problem. There were a few times I didn’t pay someone in middle school back 4 ice cream. She was smaller than me and I don’t know what her financial situation was back then. In 8th grade ? I tried to help her on a drawing. She won the school’s mascot drawing competition and she took oil painting classes for her 8th grade project. I remember I made a lot of social mistakes. A lot of bad choices like that that probably made people not like me. 3:30 pm pdt in 2010 I thought about sending her a gift card but procrastinated on it. 3:31 pm pdt I remember I earned a lot of credit card rewards but it 99% expired b4 I thought about redeeming on one card. 3:33 pm pdt I still don’t know if I deserved all those head traumas though. In second grade I shared colored pencils and markers with the whole class. I don’t know if that’s who I really am. And even though I was jealous Of my sister I don’t really recall being very mean to her. We played Barbie dolls and video games and watched cartoons together? And we had to be well behaved while our mom slept b4 her work at the grocery store. I wasn’t perfect but I didn’t kill my sister. And I don’t remember hurting her? We shared a bedroom for @ least 18 years and she seemed to be idk maybe thriving? 3:39 pm pdt 3:41 pm pdt

9:42 pm pdt woke up to very bad acid burning feeling pain cramps in pelvis area. I don’t think me hitting her with a very thin Barbie cardboard box counts especially since she started crying b4 the box made impact. The box was about a foot above her head when she started crying. 9:45 pm pdt I am as probably still 8 years old. Wrote about it in an earlier post. 9:45 pm pdt

the incubus gas lights a lot = faking out. If you’re a real avid maroon 5/Adam Levine fan you will know what I’m talking about and why I say this. 9:47 pm pdt I’m so afraid of him wiping the memories of everyone of the things he’s lying of now. He already covered up his dove tattoo (9:48 urge toilet) which I read he got 6 days after 9/11/2001 bcz he was in New York when it happened. He was supposed to be going to classes in five towns college. I think he enrolled bcz it would be easy for him to earn credits. Why? Idk. 9:50 pm pdt

10:10 pm pdt I watched an interview that he took a cross country trip to get to Long Island New York. It might be true but I think he’s omitted something very important that I read probably 5+ years ago that he went with Jane Herman originally to New York because she was going to go to school there. Whether the oberlin stop over was true or not, prior to that I believe he probably went with her and chose to omit it? 10:13 pm pdt my friend tried asking questions to re-confirm what we read 5* years ago bcz we didn’t save the article and cannot find it anymore. If Jane page Herman is reading this, please know it appears you blocked my friend and left her questions unanswered. 10:16 pm pdt

10:24 pm pdt (pain right thigh bone? Flesh? 😖😭🥵😤🥵😤 near joint. Bleeding 🩸) 10:26 pm pdt on Friendster Brendan had girl friends I think I remember a Carly, collette, and a petite red head Katie who I think he wrote to saying she had moved like mj (probably Michael Jordan?) I think 🤔 I remember Carly put Brendan is a PIMP. Collete seemed to have a past affection (affectionate 11:08 pm pdt ) relationship? With him but they are still friends? Katie looks like she’s unrequited love 💕. 10:29 pm pdt a pimp, huh 🤔? 10:30 pm pdt on spokeo it showed that he lived at least once with a heather. And there might have been a Ryan?? I am trying to recall heather’s astrological sign 🪧. 10:32 pm pdt

11:08 pm pdt when I was 8/9 years old I thought 💭 I got diarrhea from Raisin Bran cereal 🥣 after I tried it again at my dad’s. It took a few days for me to think 🤔 this, but I also observed my dad ate the same cereal 🥣 straight out of the box 📦 with his hands 🙌 in the box 📦 but I didn’t make that connection until years later I think 🤔 about the hands 🙌 to the foods. And now it (brain stabbing pain 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵) it doesn’t matter anymore. 11:13 pm pdt