#rant over lol my bad

[jash-updates]

Most normal energy drink consumer

#new tags time yippee #cj updates #so there's some old-ish tags here lol #i had this saved for a while actually. just didnt know if i wanted to post goofs yet #old tags: #i will say i personally cannot make fun of him for that #as i was [still am even] overly invested in drinking mnt dew #they used to sell a full liter mnt dew bottle for like a dollar at the stores near me & id take one to school a lot an drink the whole thin #[Sometimes id be able to get a whole 2 liter. Tho I couldn't drink the whole thing during the day [mainly just to save it for later rlly]] #which i would then have after the can id get every morning..... #im better now i swear #tho it was always very funny when i had a class with a friend where id slowly pull the very long bottle out from my bag #the face they would make is always so funny to me still #so i have a feeling i know *exactly* what face his teacher made #either like a mix of astonishment & confusion or its just disappointment #a “why are you like this” typea look #its great #however his story is still horrifying #i drink monster a bit & like one can is enough for me for a day [if i can finish it even] #maybe if i clutched onto that instead of mnt dew during school years id be just like him then #im in the good timeline thank god #rant over lol my bad

[sysig]

can you draw edgar and scriabin playing on a park like brothers for the vargastober? ty!

Day 7 - Play stupid games

#My art #Requestober #Vargas #Edgar #Scriabin #I cannot tell you how tempted I was to make a Les Enfants Terribles reference for this prompt lol #I knew it'd be too much to ask for a daily challenge tho lol so single tube-tunnel for these two! #How /did/ Scriabin get up there tho - did he fly up? Think himself up there? Actually crawl up there? #He generally keeps his abilities pretty realistic when he's a kid which is very cute haha ♥ #But even if he did cheat his way up there it's also a very charming thought to realize only in that moment that he's very small and scared #Got himself into a situation he didn't think through and was bad for him! That tracks lol #Edgar goes on a quiet rant about playing safely and Scriabin just ignores him haha #There's also something cute about them both agreeing to cheat for a moment and Edgar pulling him down into the tube with him hehe <3 #''Just close your eyes and fall through!'' ''Catch me!'' It's cute 💕 #Kidverse is always cute tho ♪ And sad - but mostly cute!! #Also you know this is Requestober over here right? X3 I'm not doing Vargastober this year! #Shoutout to disposal-blueeee's prompt list tho :) Very cool! #One of these years I'm gonna do a doodle for every chapter of Vargas ♫ There's enough to choose from! Lol

[pleasantmsp]

I love Beauyasha so much. I miss them so much.

The reunion gave me so much joy and now I'm in this weird happy but melancholy state. I love the Nein so much and I want more of them. And I especially want more of Beau and Yasha. If we get a Fjorester wedding one shot, I will be stoked. But then also give me the Beauyasha wedding too!

I'm really just hoping they keep doing these little reunions cause I love the Mighty Nein so much and seeing them makes me so happy.

#critical role #cr spoilers #beauyasha #the mighty nein #echoes of the solstice #and the rest of the tags are a rant #got a bit carried away lol #my depression has been real bad for the past like 9 months and i dont have the money or resources to go to therapy #so i am in a real interesting head space lately #this one shot gave me so much joy #i haven't felt that engaged and excited and happy in a long time #but now that its over that feeling is being joined by (like i said) this weird melancholy that i've never felt in this way before #tm9 mean so much to me #beauyasha means so much to me #especially in these times with the strikes and all the cancelations of wlw inclusive media #i've been trying to get back into c3 but getting through those first arcs is proving difficult #bh just doesn't feel the same as the m9 to me which is fine but sad in a way #cause I feel like there's still so much the nein could do and participate in #i definitely understood what ashley meant when she said she didn't feel like she was done with yasha #i feel the same #so i hope they keep doing these one shots and i hope they release some news on the animated show soon #and here's hoping that as I catch up on bh i can come to love them even half as much as tm9 #cause that'd be enough to keep me coming back and then some

[jessicas-pi]

it's actually, genuinely, honestly hilarious that in a fandom where popular ships include characters who are biologically related, characters with a 10+ year age gap who met when one was a teenager or even a child, and characters who have tried to kill each other, people hate on a friends-to-lovers ship with a <2 year age gap where the characters have a deep emotional bond and plenty of romantic subtext, because "they're siblings". my brother in the force they are literally not.

#i'm just saying. out of all the ships in the star war; sabine and ezra have one of the healthiest dynamics #right up there with kanera and bail and breha and obitine and maybe a few others. there are SO few 'problems' with it. #not that those 'problems' make a ship BAD when it's written well or in certain context. #just that out of all the ships to pick on; people choose THIS one????? #the one with character growth and found family and mutual respect?? #the one with self-sacrifice and decades-long loyalty and obitine parallels and a jetpack chase scene???? #what's there to hate??? #and i would add a disclaimer about how if you dont ship them its fine as long as you dont bully but honestly? #i am so so tired of having to qualify my statements. #this is about the targeted hate. this has always been about the targeted hate. #and i don't care if someone loathes something i love as long as they they keep that loathing out of my personal space. #this has been a tag rant. thank you for reading. #btw i'm not being sarcastic about it being hilarious. it genuinely cracks me up to see people get SO hateful over this #for a reason that does not exist #as opposed to several other ships which DO IN FACT HAVE THAT OBJECTION. #like. oh my gosh. are you even listening to yourselves. #if u wanna have the don't-ship-siblings fight then puhLEEZE bring it to someone who ships siblings. #jessica's controversial star wars opinions #sabezra #(don't worry that this post is a vent because i'm getting bullied or anything. im not visible enough for that i guess lol) #it was written in humor not in hurt :)

[sluttyten]

My afraid-of-romance ass has just been asked by another regular customer for my number and the stupid thing is that again I do think this guy is kinda cute and I really probably should say yes

#the fear tho lmao #what am I afraid of? I have no fucking clue #this is why I’m still questioning my sexuality lol like what am I? do I even actually like guys? do I like anyone? #in an existential spiral at the moment #but honestly why do they always ask for my number #like dude just give me yours and let me make the decision when you’re not right here in front of me #but I felt bad telling him no today just because the last time a customer asked and I said yes I almost immediately regretted it #and then that didn’t work out because I thought he was too young #young* and now he still sometimes comes by and I just feel awkward about it #maybe I should turn to Facebook and see if I can find him because I have set an age limit for myself and I really don’t want to entertain #anyone younger than that #but I’m……… I know I’m like never active in here anymore #but I just needed to talk about this somewhere #because any of my coworkers would probably tell me I’m being ridiculous or they’d just seriously keep questioning why I keep saying no to #customers that hit on me and my best friend would probably also not get it #idk y’all I just needed to rant about it/talk about it #anyway I’m definitely gonna stress over this until tomorrow #and I’m gonna feel really bad if he stops coming by

[werebutch]

Omg it would be way easier if my bff just ignored me and changed the subject but instead I have to wait like a week for him to just say “that sucks wtf” to my rant 🤦

#AUUUGGHHHH like we’re always in a conversation and he will be ranting and then it’s my turn to rant.LMAOO and then he just goes completely #silent.. EVERY TIME I THINK ITLL BE DIFFERENT TOO 😭 we’ll #ok to be fair he’s more thorough when he does respond like he’s not dismissive. but like. why does it have to take so long. T_T #and then I just end up not telling him anything about my life so he has no idea what I’m doing what’s going on lol #then I get comfortable enough to tell him stuff and the same thing happens.. AUUUGHHHH BUDDY #this sucks so bad. it’s been like this for over a year too but especially since december #I guess it’s fine I’ll find more friends but I’ve known him since I was 11 so I’m allowed to be sad..ok.. #it kind of makes me feel like even more of a loser sometimes 💀 he’s very normal now. we have the same roots but he’s like.. well adjusted. #idk. so it kinda makes me insecure too which is sooooo stupid 🤦

[that-was-anticlimactic]

one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap #bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU #lol idk why my head is so bad today #the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it #i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!! #but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do #oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse #sorry guys needed to rant #the inadequacy was strong today #something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like #i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me. #and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but #my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m #missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids #who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me #for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just— #sorry #that felt good actually #idk what came over me #imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags #sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh #okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is

[little-cereal-draws]

So I'm writing an essay for my storyboarding class and this is how I started it

Allesandra Sorrentino is a storyboard artist and 2D animator who has worked on Nimona (2023), Ron’s Gone Wrong (2021), and Song of the Sea (2014). There are many things that I admire about her work but I especially like her use of pacing and shot composition to create emotion. Personally, I enjoy doing more emotional scenes than action sequences so watching how she handles those is very inspiring. For example, she storyboarded the scene in Nimona where Nimona admits to Ballister that she’s suicidal. This is a huge point in both of their character arcs and sets up the climax of the movie when she does try to kill herself.

My professor better brace himself, this is going to be quite an essay lol

#i'm going to do my best not to info dump all over him but hhhhhggggghh. i want to so bad #another sentence i was tempted to write was 'i'm sure her work is quite good but honestly i can't see it through all the tears in my eyes' #this professor is a very harsh grader tho so i need to actually buckle down and do my work and not go off on seven nimona side-rants lol #nimona

[devilsskettle]

i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill

#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how they’ve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc #and act like it’s ‘cringe’ now that their fanbase feels ‘betrayed’ #it’s great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time #it’s interesting too though because i’ve seen watcher have a LOT of support as they’ve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed #so this is the first time they’re getting real pushback about a decision they’ve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand #so ig we’ll have to see how they react moving forward #but it’s soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed #AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away #how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc #but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed it’s like how dare you not lick their boots #because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free #anyway. #even if you don’t any to say it’s a bad business decision. it’s not like there’s not precedent for it #1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever #don’t you guys watch those dnd shows that are ‘behind a paywall’ #don’t you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations #don’t you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time #it’s interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like they’re friends!!!! #but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for #idk. idk. it’s entitlement though #sorry for the rant i’m ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i don’t know #but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol #anyway i’m still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions #also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc #like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly #‘they should’ve paid a real artist!!’ idk maybe their budget didn’t cover that #i don’t want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing #the big studios (who don’t have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit #but that’s another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing #maybe controversial but also can’t we have nuance. for once.

[bunnihearted]

🐁☁️🌫️

#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant #nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it #it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer #ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know #it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are #but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom #bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park #i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that #i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none #my sisters havent talked for me in over a year #and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w #nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao #i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots #i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol????? #im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay #and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like #when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!! #im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing? #other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing????? #and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things #i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))

[doccywhomst]

.

#i want to discuss problems w soc media activism but the irony of getting dogpiled by soc media activists will be too annoying to bear lol #anyway it seems like social media only draws attention to problems that westerners think they can solve by posting on their instagram story #but raising social awareness only works for social issues. tangible issues require lots of work and money over a long period of time #meanwhile financial systems/systems of power are getting further and further out of general society’s control #there are dudes (one guy. just one man.) with more money and assets than entire nations #none of this is to say that raising awareness is bad or ineffective but it gives ppl a false sense of security #like i’ve done my part 🧍‍♀️👍 i changed my instagram profile picture! the world is saved #nah girl…. you gotta put your money where your mouth is. oh you don’t have money? me neither. don’t be surprised when nothing changes #social media is trash. now class warfare on the other hand…. now we’re cookin #soc media is rich in words but poor in actions. everyone’s a preacher but who’s collecting alms? #my eternal gratitude to everyone taking thankless actions #rant

[naofaun]

“if my husband were a picky eater, id just let him starve! it's not my problem!”

okay listen. listen.

i know how frustrating it is to make something for someone and have them reject it. i get it, i really do. but here's the thing. we don't choose to be picky. we hate it as much as you do, we feel bad about it as much as you do. some of us would genuinely starve before eating something that's not a safe food. and if you don't accommodate us for that, if you make us feel childish or mean or whatever, then you're the asshole here.

#im honestly so mad about people like this #they make me shake with anger #also i realise i have been disability ranting on main a LOT lately #i had an absolute meltdown once over a tomato (i cannot eat tomatoes they actually make me sick) and i could Feel my family judging me #i hated it so bad dude #{ ♡ } nao : misc . . . #arfid #eating disorders #disordered eating #autism #autistic #uh #idk feel free to tag with your own stuff and ill add it lol

[zebrafiz]

my face after looking at all the dog breeds in cas and seeing 5758493748593 doodles but no belgian malinois

#this sounds so pretentious 😭 #but yall have to understand…. i love them i wanted a belgian malinois for this sim sooo bad but NO! #she wants an attack dog trained in bite work and heelwork! BITCH! #also i have a visceral hate for 90% of doodle owners who purposely seek them out. i think they need jail time #i have rly gotten into like the dog community and I’ve learned so much shit. some good. lots of it bad. some of these ppl are wild. #I think getting an Aussie has also catapulted me into it bc I’ve only ever had small ones like a chihuahua and an incredibly demure #jack russell may she rest in peace 😞 #anyway that’s like my new fascination. i love trying to decide which breed is my dream breed LOL #so I’ve been going through cas like a nerd for the last 30 minutes critiquing the traits and appearances they come with #the yorkie is soooo cute….ALSO THEY HAVE BEDLINGTON TERRIRORS !!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! #*personal #rant over. enjoy my tag talk

[daz4i]

how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp

i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand

many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you

also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)

#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭 #i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them #if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person #you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect #and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops #i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck #seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate #if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted #if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use #'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that? #'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way #a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way? #'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that. #i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels #so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process #you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them #but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you #anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol #(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer. #so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤) #also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really #i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.

[kekeartzworld]

My Honest Opinion On If My Art Gets Reposted And Traced (PSA)

I know that plenty of artists out there don’t really appreciate it when they’re art gets reposted without their permission but honestly, with knowing how the internet works, I’m honestly going to be indifferent and say something that will probably make many of my fellow artists mad

I really don’t care if my art gets reposted and although credit is much appreciated, it really doesn’t matter all that much to me as long as I know that people genuinely appreciate my work and I’m getting more attention for the effort that I put in it

I feel what a lot of people miss is that reposters don’t always have malicious intentions but rather they appreciate your hard work and want to show it to more people on other platforms that you perhaps don’t post on as often or even not post on at all (like with me no longer posting on Twitter or TikTok for example)

If anyone reposts my works to say Twitter or TikTok, I really wouldn’t mind as these are platforms that don’t really have any form of relevance to me anymore because of how much stress both platforms have caused me in the past

As much as I would like to see credit if my works are to be reposted, it doesn’t bug me if I don’t get credited either

I understand how the online world works and I acknowledge that there really isn’t much I can do to stop people from reposting my artwork without first contacting me for permission

You can call me careless for this and you know what..? You’d honestly be correct because as long as I know that there are more people appreciating all of my hard work, it doesn’t make a difference to me if my works are reposted or not so as long as it’s out there and gaining recognition

Honestly, there are times where I question in my own head why there aren’t more artists out there that are like me who are actually willing to acknowledge that their art will be reposted no matter what and there’s really nothing we can do about it and just leaving it as that

I do acknowledge that there are other ways people can support artists but considering as I can never really set up a system for me to earn money off my works and the factor of my DeviantArt commissions never getting all that much attention, this is the very least that I can do to get more recognition for my work

I have a similar opinion on if my art was to be traced because I can understand that on a personal level as I have multiple works that are traced from other’s works myself

#discussion #art discussion #discussing reposting and tracing and why they aren’t entirely bad #this is a very hot take I know but it’s my own opinion on this kind of topic #I have been on the internet since I was like 10 years old #for fuck’s sake the first social media platform I ever used was Google+ before it shut down in April 2019! #I would know the ropes of how the online world works at this point and I do #people are gonna be dicks and sometimes you just gotta accept that #at the end of the day it’s best to not get yourself caught into controversy over the stupidest shit #because I had been down that road myself with my old ass Twitter drama #and I’d rather not go down that road again.. #that’s why I’m choosing to be overly nice about this topic just don’t take all of it for granted #because I will not fucking hesitate to block your ass if you’re just gonna be a prick #I’ve rambled more in tags than in the actual post lol #this has been a psa #kekeartz rant

[ambersky0319]

My grandma keeps getting exasperated that I refuse to ask my grandpa to drive me anywhere but like...

This is the man who told an 11 year old with depression, anxiety, and abandonment issues "I don't want you" in the middle of a lobby at a therapy place and saw nothing wrong. This is the man who has told me to "go to hell" because I couldn't help with his internet issues. This is the man who point blank admitted his behavior is problematic, but used the excuse that he was too old, as a reason for why he wouldn't change his behavior.

I don't want a relationship with him anymore. I made that clear. And while I'm still in this house, I will be civil with him. I will not remark on his comments. I will give simple answers to questions asked. I will help if the situation is dire. However, that does not mean I will engage with him for longer than I have to. And it means that I refuse to be stuck in an enclosed space like a car with him.

I don't think either of my grandparents have realized that, when I said the outcome of that conversation a few weeks ago would determine if we would have a relationship going forward, I meant it.

I've ignored my grandpa while living in the same house as him for 6 months - only interacting with him if it was absolutely necessary since i relied on him. And at the time, I still felt like I would have some relationship with him. But now? Now I feel nothing for him. That relationship is dead. I have no plans on making it better. I will simply be treating him how I treat anyone else I dislike but must tolerate.

I just wonder how long it will be for them to realize this.

#i dont know if sib fully gets how i feel about him either #they understand a bit better to my knowledge but idk #but just... #i dont know #ive never had a problem with cutting people out of my life. and with my history my grandparents should know that INCLUDES family #especially if i compared them to my parents (which i did). that should have made it clear as day #but i guess it didnt #my plan was to try to move out this summer but i highly doubt thats gonna happen #so im gonna aim for at the latest next summer but strive for earlier - maybe over winter or during the fall/spring semester #the shitty thing is that means leaving my sib alone here and like. i feel awful for that #but. i also know it is REALLY bad for my own mental health to stay in this house for much longer #i can tolerate it. i can be civil and keep to myself. but it wont really be healthy #and eventually that tensions just gonna bubble up again and it would suck for it to hurt my academics again #anyway #impromptu rant away time lol #amber's shit you can ignore