#rani writes things | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thevikingwoman · 2 years

Text

This story about my wayfarer Illia is set in the years after graduation, prior to the fall of the spire. I wanted to explore her past relationship, and fill in some details about her, including how she got her scar.

Fandom: Wayfarer IF | Words: 2890 | Read on AO3

Illia Strand x OC | post prologue, after graduation | angst Rating: Teen. Romance, feelings, angst, injury mention, blood mention, non-graphic violence, love,

Now Is A Bad Time // Touch

Illia barely dodges the ball of fire hurled right at her. Usually, a magical fireball would not be a problem, but these fuckers, they’ve figured it out. The fire might be magically ignited, and the projectile hurled across the road with magic, but her opponents have been lighting some sort of combustible material on fire, and the result is not magic at all. The excruciating pain in her shoulder is the proof.

She dodges another, and how much worse can it get?

However clever they think they are, Alessar steel is Alessar steel, and the fire needs to catch the kindling to hurt her. Illia rushes, Wavebreaker in her hand. She leaps, thrusts and slices. The fire mage crumbles before her. A useless ball of paper and wood hits her face, the magical thrust breaking as it hits her face. Illia yanks Wavebreaker free of the body and pivots, it’s watered edge red with blood.

“Please, please…” the other mage cowers before her. She snarls. Her head is ringing, her shoulder burns and smoke chokes the air.

“It was their idea, I’d never have done it, I’m sorry –” the man keeps babbling.

He was just as culpable as his partner in their crimes, and enough innocents has suffered.

Illia exhales. She promised to bring them both in, and leave them at the hands of whatever justice will be handed out. She’ll probably be sent off without payment if she manages to kill them both. It’s time wrap up.

Later, every time the cart hits a bump in the road, her shoulder screams in agony. It had been a shit job, but now it was done. The body of the dead mage is at the bottom of the cart, his whimpering friend trussed up next to them. They’d hadn’t expected their time as highway robbers to end and quickly and brutally, she supposes. Nothing like a wayfarer to remind mages they aren’t invincible.

Finally, Illia halts the cart in front of the guard house, and jumps off the seat. She flinches when pain flares in her shoulder, but grits her teeth. Just hold it together a little longer. She leaves the mage with his dead companion, and walks to the young guard by the door.

“Where’s Captain Zoran?”

The door flings open, and the captain steps out, shrugging on his coat.

“I got your mages. One of them’s dead.”

“Greetings to you too, Strand.” Zoran frowns. “There were to be apprehended, not executed without a trial, Wayfarer.”

“You can do that with the other. If they wanted a chance to speak their case, maybe they should have surrendered.”

The captain ignores her, and orders his people around, dragging the dead body off the cart and the live mage inside the guard station.

“My payment?” Illia grits.

“I’ll have to lower it since of them is dead, subtract the use of the cart, the delay of apprehension.” He’s ticking off items on his fingers.

“Today, Captain Zoran.”

The man grunts and turns, walking inside. Illia follows.

“I’m going to lower the payment more if you break our wards.”

Inside, he counts out a small pile of money, swipes them into a bag and tosses them to her. The pain in her shoulder is a rising agony now, but she manages to catch the bag and stuff it in her pouch. Zoran clearly wants her gone, but her medicine kit is probably not going to be enough. Some of her shirt looks like it’s melted into her flesh. Maybe they used some nefarious sort of alchemy too. No matter how unfriendly Zoran is, she has to swallow her pride.

“Do you know of a healer who can help me with this?” Illia says, and gestures to her shoulder.

“Not one who can help the likes of you, Strand,” he sneers. “There’s your payment. Now get out.”

She had might have hoped for a little more friendliness, given that the two mages have been terrorizing anyone leaving on the South road for weeks, but she really shouldn’t have been surprised. Maybe she can ask around at the market by the docks. She should have done so before hunting mages, but it wasn’t meant to turn into such a shitshow.

She’s halfway down the street when someone calls after her: “Try Rani up at Gull Street, I’ve heard she knows lots of stuff.”

“Thanks,” she calls back.

Lots of stuff. That’s not a shining endorsement, but she will take it.

She staggers down the street, where the fuck is Gull? There’s Birch, Alder, is she even heading in the right direction? The pain is searing and there’s Albatross, closer. She turns up Gull, and wonders how she’s supposed to find a healer, but halfway down the street there’s a green door, vines climbing up the walls and pots on wooden shelfs with plants she recognizes; the small blue ones Torvar had in her garden.

Illia knocks on the door, her other arm, the one where her shoulder isn’t burning. Thankfully, it opens soon after, to a woman with deep brown skin, golden eyes, and dark blue hair in ringlets crowning her head.

“Can I help you?”

“I – “

Illia collapses forward into her arms.

---

When Illia wakes, she’s in a soft bed, the smell of herbs and lavender in her nose. She’s on her front, head buried in the pillows. She tenses. Where’s her sword?

“Don’t move.” The voice is low and calm. “You’ll pull the bandages if you move on your own.”

Illia slowly turns her head, and source of the voice is sitting at a table, a woman working something in the light of conjured spheres hovering about her. Behind her a window shows the night sky.

How long was she out?

“Did I pass out?”

“In my arms,” she says, her golden eyes sparkling. “You’re lucky, Wayfarer. It’s not always I have the supplies I need at hand.” She’s beautiful, and Illia flushes. She remembers now, staggering down the street, knocking on the door.

“Thank you.”

“I’m Rani Kaxes,” she says.

“Illia Strand. I’d get up to greet you, but you just told me to stay put.”

“I do appreciate when someone is being a good patient.” Kaxes puts her tools down, and walks to the bed. “Here, let me help you. It shouldn’t be an issue sitting up, I only want the bandage to stay where it is supposed to be.”

Illia nods as best she can, and Kaxes reaches for her, and keeping one hand on the bandage, she grips Illia’s arm with the other, pulling her to a sitting position. Illia grimaces against the pain. It’s duller now, but still there.

“I’m afraid it will leave a scar. There is only so much I can do without my magic.”

“That’s expected.” Scarring is a fact of life for any magianis. Moreso for Wayfarers. It is not a peaceful profession.

Properly seated, Illia offers her hand. After a slight hesitation Kaxes takes it. Her hand is soft against Illia’s calloused one.

“Thank you, Kaxes. I’m sorry I bothered you. I can pay.”

“I expected as much, given the coin rattling in your pack. I do tend to help people who faint on my doorstep, though.”

She tilts her head against the small pile of Illia’s belongings stacked against the wall. She draws breath of relief when she sees Wavebreaker, safe in its scabbard.

“I will get going, then.”

A wave of pain and nausea hits her when she stands and she closes her eyes briefly against it, gritting her teeth. She tells herself she’s dealt with worse before.

“Sit back down, Strand.” Illia does, relief flooding her simply not having to keep herself upright. “All you’re going to do is make it harder for me in the long run. I’m not sure how you got burned like that, but it’s not a simple thing. You’ll need to take it slow.”

“I can do that,” Illia grins.

She stays, and Kaxes shares her dinner, bread and cheese and honey. Illia tells how she managed to get injured, and Kaxes seems happy with the rogue mages gone rather than offput by what Illia can do. Later, at the healer’s insistence, she sleeps in the bed, the fighting and the pain making her limbs tired.

The next morning, Rani fixes a new bandage on the wound, her calm hands brushing across Illia’s skin. She’s careful and precise, and very close. Illia looks away.

With a promise of no sudden movements and to come back the next day, Illia leaves, seeking out the inn she was staying at. She makes sure to pay for the next week, so doesn’t want to find another place while she rests. The innkeep frowns but accepts her crowns readily enough.

---

Illia returns to Rani Kaxes the next day, the pain in her shoulder much diminished. She’s at her door, talking with a short human man carrying a babe at his hip, another child holding his hand.

“It’s nothing, Tearn. Just a small bump. I’m happy to help.”

“My husband will be by with some bread later, Rani. It’s the least we can do.”

Kaxes smiles, and ruffles the child’s hair as Tearn leaves, softness in her eyes.

“Strand,” she says, calling out as she notices Illia, and the softness doesn’t leave her eyes. “Come inside.”

Inside, Illia sits at the table while Rani works at the bandage. She gives a pleased little hum.

“Much better today. I still want the cleansing salve on for another day. Can you stay a little?”

“I’ve got nothing else to do.” Illia sits and remembers the bag in her hand. “Do you like cherries?” Illia asks when she’s done. “I passed by the market, and they looked very ripe. I got a bag.”

Rani nods and smiles and puts them in a small bowl. “Thank you, Strand.”

“Call me Illia,” she says on impulse. “Please.”

“Of course, Illia. And everyone here calls me Rani anyway. We’re not much for formalities here.”

She gets a sense of this as she visits Rani a few more times. There’s a community here, the people who live nearby, those who know and uses her services. They stop by with gossip or fresh jam or other goods. Children come by to show her pretty rocks and get a salve for a scratch that needs no healing other than love. Sometimes coins pass hands, but it’s informal and just enough for Rani to live comfortably in her small house.

She’s powerful though, one day an Aeda woman bursts through the door, a screaming child in her arms, their right leg bent in an impossible angle. Rani had first set it, as Illia would have done on a fellow wayfarer, and then used her magic to heal it. The child had been running and jumping before the night fell.

Rani acts different than Illia would have thought any magic user with her skill would. She’s generous with her magic and her healing, and very knowledgeable too. Illia thinks she could have joined the guild maybe, or set up a clinic for the rich and powerful.

Instead she’s here, in her small house with pots of healing plants, with a small kitchen and a rickety table, sharing a sweet wine with Soris, an elderly fisherman with a bad knee that can’t be fixed with magic, but soothed with a warm compress. Illia has cleansed and deboned the fish they brought with them. She knows how to cook fish, and rifles through the cabinets, looking for the spices Mother’s favorite cook used. There’s a quiet feeling, almost like she belongs with these people, like she’s back at the Spire with other Wayfarers. Like she’s home.

Later, after Soris left, after they’ve eaten the roasted fish and drunk a little more of the wine, Rani feels like home when Illia kisses her.

---

Illia no longer needs the excuse of her fully healed shoulder to visit by now. Her and Rani spend mornings in bed and evenings with walks by the piers. They share dinners and kisses by the hearth.

Wayfarers don’t settle down. You travel, you go where you’re needed. But there’s always a bit of work, and it’s not so bad to be gone a week to clear out a nest of Snarls. The small creatures are not dangerous to Illia, but their puffs of toxic magic are troublesome for most people.

Rani welcomes her back in her house and her bed, smiles and kisses and laughter and soft hands.

It becomes a routine, of sorts. Illia has long since stopped pretending she needs a room at the inn, instead coming back from every outing to Rani’s house. Sometimes she has to be gone for a while, but Rani is always understanding, encouraging.

Illia is relishing the small and grounding feeling of love and belonging that grows in her breast.

---

It’s been a few months like this, and this time, Illia has been gone for more than two weeks. She can’t wait to be back again. It wasn’t that the trip was difficult, but there’s longer and longer between the people who wants to hire her. It’s worth it though, coming back. She smiles as she turns up Gull Street, and knocks on her favorite door.

Rani opens it slowly, and Illia’s smile fades when Rani stays in the doorway, her face carefully neutral.

“I’m sorry, Illia.” The low light behind her reflects her blue hair in deep shadows across her dark skin. “Now isn’t a good time.”

“I just — I thought — “

Illia reaches for Rani, but she steps back, flinching away from her. With Rani no longer blocking the door, it’s clear someone else is in the room behind her, a glimpse of pink skin against the blankets.

“Please don’t, Illia.” Rani looks away, her shoulders hunched. “When you touch me, it feels like you’re draining a little of my life away. I can’t do that. I’m sorry. I can’t live like that.”

Illia’s hand drops to her side, powerless. She looks away, away from the room, away from the person who doesn’t seem to steal Rani’s magic from her. Away from Rani and she has nowhere to look except at her feet.

“I didn’t want to tell you like this, Lia,” Rani continues gently, “I’d tried to let you know that it was better if you left, if you went somewhere else. Went wherever your next task takes you.”

Illia nods, and look back up at Rani. She wishes the other woman would hate her, or look disgusted, or bored. All she sees is compassion and it makes everything worse.

“I’m sorry, I misunderstood, I —" she burns with embarrassment, her cheeks hot. She hasn’t felt this close to anyone, not in years. She can’t help what she is, though, and she forgot it’s not really something people want. “I’ll leave then. I’m not going to waste more of your time.”

“It was good, Illia. I just – I just can’t.”

“I see.”

She doesn’t, she’s too numb for that. Too surprised.

“Goodbye, Illia. Be safe.”

“You too, Rani. Farewell.”

Illia is seven steps away before Rani’s door slams close behind her. The green door, the small house with herbs and vines and shared laughs and shared bodies. Illia hurries away, not caring where her feet take her. Wavebreaker is a steady presence at her hip. Fuck it. It’s not like she can settle down anyway. Her eyes are only watering from the wind.

Her feet take her down the streets, through the market and to the docks. On their own accord, they seek the sea, even after all these years. She scans the harbor for the ships, the flag she knows. The port is very small, more for fishing vessels than trading ships, so there is nothing she recognizes. Surely; it’s relief in her chest. She does not need to be reminded of one rejection by another.

For now she walks to the end of a half empty pier – the fishers are still out today – and drops her pack with a thud and herself with it, her feet dangling over the water.

She opens the paper bag with fried sugar pastries she picked up on the way. She might as well eat both of them, while they’re still hot.

She thinks about the shared laughs, and the feel of Rani’s skin under her fingertips. Of the cues she must have missed, every time she found some work further and further away, of the reassurances of take your time, and you should go help. Not reassurances all, but hints she missed. She thinks of the slight hesitation whenever Rani reached for her. The moments she ignored, they both ignored, to enjoy each other. She thinks of the scented oil at the bottom of her pack, a small bottle she picked up at Rethos on her way back, scented with lavender and sage, lightweight and perfect for hair, but not hair like her own. She wants to fling it into the ocean, but that would be a waste. She should sell it, really.

The stars come out, winking across the sky. There are no Southern Lights here.

She’s heard trouble is brewing in Vestra. There will be work to be found. People who needs her help.

She’ll look for ship in the morning. --- edit: picrew of Rani :)

#wayfarer #wayfarer fanfic #wayfarer fanfiction #Illia Strand #writing about illia #background story #this is a fill the gap thing #wanted to hit on her relationship experience #and the scar and more #Illia Strand x Rani Kaxes #viking writes #published 7/23/2022

20 notes · View notes

deathxproof-archive · 1 year

Text

it’s been years but whoever created that veryvery fun theory about Susan/Arkytior coming to be bc Theta, Koschei, and Ushas fucked around with a loom and accidentally created A Someone and the repercussions / results of that has a chokehold on my fanon brain. the way a few silly little headcanons and such posted to tumblr dot com circa 2013-15 in various dr who tags altered my brain and how I write certain characters forever. delightful. amazing. horrific. lovely.

#the few pieces of fanart I saw for this specific thing were DELIGHTFUL too but I cannot remember. who fucking made it.#it’s fun it’s silly it’s goofy it’s a little heart wrenching #it especially makes Susan out to be a strange little being. the best and worst amalgamation of the doctor the rani and the master #while also being Just Some Fuckin Girl(positive) is lovely. also makes the master killing her husband more fucked / Susan (mildly) killing-#-the Master even more. how do you say. Girlboss.#if there’s one thing I LOVE it’s interpersonal family drama.#the doctor the master and susan all together and it feels so so much like being in the same room as your parents who had the MESSIEST divorc #the doctor the master the rani and Susan all being together and it feeling like the most awkward stilted clinical thing #especially bc the rani and susan are Super Removed and Do Not Want It To Be This away #one day I’ll write stuff coherently. we’ll see. not right now though.

5 notes · View notes

thewingedwolf · 1 year

Text

i watched everything i needed to in order to watch the new episode of the mandolorian and

man, they really just gave two whole episodes of boba fett’s solo series to din, grogu, and Uncanny Valley Luke Skywalker huh, and it wasn’t even a good two episodes, they just made Ming Na Wen and Temuera Morrison give up two episodes of their lil mayoral race slash planetary drug war tv show so The Mandalorian could remind them who pays the goddamn bills around here (it’s the puppet, the cute green puppet pays the bills) and shove like an entire season’s worth of emotional arc and plot into two tacked on episodes of someone else’s show. genius.

#everything was fine up until THAT and it threw the whole thing out of whack.#and favraeu hopping on video today right before the premiere drops to say something confusing about the timeline? we love it.#like i am not asking for much just a *lil* attention to your timeline and how it’s coming across when u write & some emotional consistency!#this does not feel like asking a lot!!#rani liveblogs the mandalorian #but also yeah i binged s2 of the mandalorian & book. of boba fett. then i rewatched kenobi bc i wanted to feel alive & u can say it’s #sloppily written but so are the prequels babeeeee this weird melodramatic shit is narratively consistent with what george lucas wrote!!#filoni has a different feeling to his star wars; just as valid but clearly it’s not this!! ewan is such a great cryer!!#i haven’t finished andor yet bc i’m a fake fan. i just don’t want to see anyone’s opinions on anything so i watch it way after everyone #forgets about it #rani makes text posts no one will read

2 notes · View notes

doctorwhoisadhd · 2 months

Text

auauguaughgh assignmence

#i have a thing due tonight that i am nowhere near done with AUGH #literally dont wanna do anything all i want is to sit on my floor and do my cross stitch and listen to rani takes on the world the first 2 #were SO GOOD esp the first one the first one was literally Made In A Lab SPECIFICALLY For Me i hope they make more of them please god bc i #want sky to be in it so bad i wanna see what shes up to but idk if anyone ever will bc the webcast is very much considered canon by these #(farewell sarah jane i mean) and that implies that the events of the 3 unmade stories from sja s5 100% still happened and therefore theres #stuff about sky and what her whole Deal is / how it all works that unfortunately exist pretty much exclusively in RTDs head. MADDENING.#like they could be turned into a novel!!! and they havent been!!!! which is GRRR TEARING AND BITING AND RIPPING. WHY ISNT IT A NOVEL 😭#PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU esp cause the trickster was in it and its like god..... obviously makes sense why they didnt make those episodes but #they could have at least done a novel or something with them & its like AUGH bc idk if anyone is gonna write sky now which is SUCH a shame #i liked sky its so sad that we never got more of her and luke together and its really not clear what shes supposed to be doing Now and its #like nooooooooo. anyway i forgor what was the point of this post. oh right. assignment AUAUUAGHUGHHHH #ari opinion hour #also i forgot my headphones bc i use the cord from them to connect my cd player to a speaker so i took them out of my backpack and NOOOO #need those to actually do work efficiently

1 note · View note

a-dragons-journal · 3 months

Text

Humanity and the Lack Thereof

This essay was co-written between Rani and Viridian; Viridian's text is in green and bracketed.

Humanity is an interesting thing.

I am otherkin. I am nonhuman, a dragon-in-human-skin, draconic to my core. I feel phantom wings and tail, the instinctive knowledge of how to breathe fire even though I don’t understand how it works, a bones-deep longing and homesickness for the sky, numerous instincts and urges tied to being something other than human. Many who are like me reject humanity entirely, don’t feel human at all. And yet, I am also human, deeply and truly. I am just as human as I am dragon - I like my human body, I love the things I can do with it (hands, dexterous hands, are a wonderful thing), I overall enjoy my human life. I am nonhuman, but I am not not human.

Viridian, who is watching “over my shoulder” as I write this, is a vampire. She is a fictive, from one of the Vampire: the Masquerade games that I play in, wherein vampires are typically considered to be… on the boundary line between “human” and “nonhuman.” Many vampires cling to their humanity and adamantly consider themselves human; I would go so far as to say this is the norm. Those who do not often become monstrous indeed, though often they do not.

[ I do not consider myself human. I am Kindred, vampire, Cainite. I am part of humanity, as a general populace - but I do not like being called human.

[ I think part of it is that being human is often put in direct opposition to being vampire as a personal identifier. Those who adamantly insist they are “still human” often mean as opposed to being a vampire instead. Being no longer human is, as Rani wrote, often considered a sign of becoming a monster instead.

[ But I worked hard for my Embrace, my being turned into a vampire. I worked to earn the right to call myself Kindred for nearly a decade. And yes, perhaps some of it is that I was taught by my original sire that the Embrace was an ascension above humanity, and that still colors my feelings on my own vampirism even if I acknowledge that he was wrong to consider us inherently above humans. But much of it is that being called human feels like a denial of my vampirism, a rejection of it, and for me that is not empowering - it is denying and rejecting something deeply important to me. Kindred is who I am. Human was only ever circumstantially true, a circumstance of birth - Kindred was something I actively sought out, pursued, chose. ]

Which is interesting, because to a certain extent, “human” is only circumstantially true for me, too. If I hadn’t been born human, I sincerely doubt I would identify as one in the same way that I identify as a dragon despite not being born into a dragon body. I could be wrong, of course - I have no way to prove it either way - but I suspect that if I am correct about reincarnation and I end up in another body after this one, I will not have the same “spillover” of humanity that I do of draconity from my dragon life.

And yet, I am human, and I actively dislike it when people try to strip that from me. Part of that, admittedly, is that the handful that try to see me as only dragon, and reject that I am human, are usually doing it because they’re violently misanthropic individuals, so it’s soured the whole thing for me because the reason they’re rejecting my humanity is so they can try to get me to shit-talk the rest of humanity with them. (If I have to hear one more dragon legitimately, whole-heartedly say that they think humanity should be extincted, I’m going to lose it.) But part of it is that my humanity is important to me, just as important as my draconity. I am both. I’ve written whole essays on this topic.

[ In that way, perhaps we’re not so different after all. I dislike being called human because it feels like a rejection of who I am, who I chose to be; you dislike being called not-human because it is a rejection of who you are. ]

Maybe so. Funny how different societal circumstances can yield opposite results from the same kind of pressures.

I think that part of the discrepancy between us is also that I’m a very physical person. Frankly, I am a chemical creature; I enjoy physicality, I enjoy affectionate touch, I enjoy the physical pleasures life has to offer. I enjoy food. I enjoy sexual pleasure. I enjoy the exhilaration of getting my heart going and my instincts fired up in a self-defense class. I live, I live, I live! is ever a cry of joy in my heart. And a lot of that ties into my animality! I am a dragon animal, yes, but I am also a human animal, and both of these things must be satisfied! The dragon yearns for the wind and the view when I climb up to a height, for the fire of battle I can get out of a sparring match; the human yearns for the taste of sun-warm berries right off the bush, for the warm press of bodies when I hug and cuddle with loved ones. Both of them love a good nap in the sun. I am a physical creature, I am an animal, and my animal-ness connects me to my body and thus to my humanity, rather than separating me from it.

[ Meanwhile, none of this has ever been true for me. Yes, of course I enjoy certain delicacies; I miss my brother’s cookies periodically, it’s true. But I’ve never loved these things the way Rani does. It’s not that I dislike the pleasures of life, but I’ve just… never really cared. It wasn’t much of a loss when I was Embraced, to trade food and sunlight and heartbeat for immortality and knowledge and power. It was almost convenient to not have to deal with the maintenance a living body requires - no excretion of waste, no inconvenient aches or pains or stomach cramps, a frankly much more manageable frequency of requiring sustenance. My body is just a tool, and the Embrace made it more efficient in most ways. And now, after twenty-three years of being dead, being in a living body again is overwhelming in some ways and just downright unpleasant in others. Even most of the physical matters Rani actively enjoys are either overwhelming or uninteresting for me. I am happy to leave the care and maintenance of the body to them. It’s not necessarily that I actively had a disconnect from my human body, originally, so much as that I didn’t have an active connection to it to make me identify with it, and thus my being “human” was, as I said, only ever circumstantial. My becoming Kindred overrode it, and I prefer to leave it that way.

[ Ironic, that the one whose nonhumanity is so human-shaped should be the one to reject humanity, but here we are. ]

Here we are.

#otherkin #dragonkin #plurality #fictive #rani talks #caldwell #journaling #community writings #essay as promised

95 notes · View notes

the-worms-in-your-bones · 1 year

Text

How do time lord names work, an essay (sort of)

(also if anyone reading this has more info or corrections to things i say, please put it in the notes)

As with most things relating to Gallifrey and Time Lords, how their naming conventions work are not very clear. This rant/essay thing is basically just me trying to figure out a system that works based on the information that is given to us in the show (and some of the extended universe media)

So, first things first, Time Lord names are not consistent. Throughout the show we see two main styles of Time Lord names, the regular (enough) names and the titles. Some examples of this are Romana, Andred, and Rassilon vs the Doctor, the Master, and the Rani. (there are a few outliers, but I'll get to that later)

With these two types of names a relatively consistent pattern emerges. The ones with title names are mostly renegades while the ones with normal names are not. I don't really have a solid theory on why this is, something about rejecting the name given to you by the society that you are leaving. It also is said that these names are chosen, so that would fit with this theory.

We also see that most of the 'normal' names are just the beginning part of a much longer name, such as Romana being short for Romanadvoratrelundar. This is shown to be true for multiple other Time Lords, so I am assuming that to be the case for those who have no canon extended version of their name.

Now we get to the exceptions to these two naming styles that make things more confusing (ranked from least to most confusing) (in my opinion)

Susan Foreman - The name Susan was chosen to fit in with humans while she was on earth, doesn't actually contradict anything said above (not sure if she was ever given an actual time lord name though)

Drax and Morbius - Both renegade Time Lords who do not follow the pattern of having title names, doesn't really complicate things that much since they could have just chosen not to give themselves title names

The Other - One of the three founding members of Time Lord society? does he count in this if he was one of the first, also has a weird connection to the Doctor? (going to be honest I know very little about this guy)

Irving Braxiatel - His name would be fine without the first part, I just choose not to think about it, which means it can't be a problem

The Doctor - aka the worst one of them all when it comes to complicated things with names. To start off, they do follow the renegade having a title for a name pattern (though in Divided Loyalties we see that he chose to go by that name while still at the academy, because as with everything else with the doctor's name it is confusing), but after that they just complicate things more. Then we get to the problem of Theta Sigma, which on the surface has the same problems as Irving Braxiatel, but then you have the problem that that isn't actually the Doctor's name, but a nickname given to him at the academy. So then what is the Doctor's real name? Well, according to The Making Of Doctor Who his name is δ³Σx². In human language, this basically means nothing, but in The Five Doctors this equation appears on a piece of stone with other writing that is identified as Old High Gallifreyan (the ancient and no longer used language of the Time Lords). This leads me to my third point about how Time Lord names work,

Along with the two kinds of names I previously mentioned, I also believe that Time Lords have another 'true' name in Old High Gallifreyan that is rarely, if ever, used. This comes from the fact that the Doctor has repeatedly said that they can not (except in special circumstances) tell people their real name, and that even if they did people would not understand it. The not understanding it part is obvious since a) all the Time Lords are dead and b) even before then it was an unused language. It is also stated in the show that Old High Gallifreyan words held power, giving a pretty reasonable explanation for why the Doctor would only tell someone his name in special circumstances. I think there could also be a factor of a Time Lord's name being something very personal to them and there is no reason to share it with most other people.

Anyway tl;dr Time Lords have a 'true name' in Old High Gallifreyan that is only used in special circumstances. The rest of the time they usually use one of two naming systems, a 'normal' Time Lord name, which is often long but shortened (Romanadvoratrelundar to Romana for example) or a title name, which is often chosen by renegade Time Lords as part of their rejection of Time Lord society.

#doctor who #classic who #dw #the doctor #the master #nuwho #romana #sorry that this post is so long i apparently had a lot to say #theta sigma #time lords #new who #dr who #gallifrey #gallifreyan #if this has typos im sorry i did not check

156 notes · View notes

aristidetwain · 1 year

Text

Ring-Master

In 2007′s Last of the Time Lords, Russell T. Davies drew our attention to the Master’s distinctive signet ring, inset with silver Gallifreyan writing, which was plucked from his funeral pyre by the hand of a mysterious woman who, in 2009′s The End of Time, would turn out to be one of the ‘Disciples of Saxon’, a cult formed by the Master in expectation of his death with the aim of enacting a ritual to resurrect him, still in the same incarnation at that.

This was a pleasant twist, and a fun tip of the hat to the method of Count Dracula’s resurrection in multiple Hammer Dracula films. (This is only fitting: as per The Book of the War, the Time Lords adapted their powers of regeneration from the Yssgaroth’s…)

However, I think there are two startling facts about this plot point which have been just-as-startlingly under-discussed in canon-welding spaces.

Follow me after the cut to find out the truth about the Rings of the Time Lords — or should I say the Time Lords of the Rings? (This was terrible and I do not apologise.)

Fact #1: This pays off a Chekhov’s gun going all the way back to An Unearthly Child.

Much as it is sometimes entertaining to ponder the days when Dr Who might have been a lone human scientist, there is also a distinctive corpus of early implications about The Doctor’s Mysterious People as a distinct and mysterious civilisation with dominion over space and time. It started with the Doctor himself, but was followed through with other characters implied to hail from that same civilisation: I speak of course of the Meddling Monk and the Toymaker (who, I note in passing, is not actually meant to be Celestial with a capital C).

What did the Monk have in common with the Doctor, besides a TARDIS?

A conspicuous ring.

As you can glimpse in the top left photograph, the Doctor’s ring was, to be exact, a sapphire ring.

The Toymaker did not wear a ring in the TV story as broadcast — but he did use one in the novelisation, which brought back many elements that had to be cut from the TV version due to rushed production. There, he used it to manipulate the environment of his suspiciously TARDIS-like “Celestial Toyroom”.

Not coincidentally, in The Web Planet, the Doctor’s ring was revealed to have the ability to interface with the Ship, with the Doctor gleefully declaring that “this is not merely a decorative object”, without elaboration.

The concept seems to have persisted past The War Games. Sure, the Time Lords seen therein lacked the ring — including Edward Brayshaw’s Renegade. And Roger Delgado’s subsequent regeneration of the character also lacked the ring when we first saw him in Terror of the Autons. And it’s rare that we get the chance to check thereafter, owing to the Master’s predilection for gloves. But by The Time Monster…

…he is wearing the very flat, green, gleaming ring to which RTD attached such significance in Last of the Time Lords and The End of Time.

The idea experienced a last, potentially-coincidental gasp with Kate O’Mara’s Rani, though she was similarly prone to glove-wearing.

But the point is: throughout the first half of Classics, all the interesting Time Lords had Large Conspicuous Rings. These Rings clearly did some things, but the full extent of their power and cultural significance was kept artfully obscured.

And this is what Davies is coming back to with Simm’s all-important ring. The Doctor recognises it on sight as “the Master’s Ring”, and knows what it does. He fascinatingly describes it as “part of him”, setting all kinds of biodata-related alarm bells ringing. Given that the Rings are also related to the bond between pilot and TARDIS, could they be some kind of locus of the Rassilon Imprimatur? The thrill is of course in the asking…

Fact #2: This may not be the first time it’s happened.

A shorter but equally interesting observation:

the Master has possessed this same green ring at least since his Delgado days.

the Doctor instantly jumps from “his Ring survived” to “his disciples must be arranging a ritual to resurrect him in the same incarnation”. This is something he knows Rings do and is relatively casual about.

at many points during Classic Who the Master was seemingly killed off for good, only to show up intact because “I’m indestructible… the whole Universe knows that”. (Or, as Missy later put it, “death is for other people”.)

Am I the only one who thinks that somewhere in Davies’s brain, he may have conceived of this as the secret way the Master had survived at least some of those past exterminations? Sure, the Disciples of Saxon were something set up by ol’Harold (the clue’s in the name), but it would be child’s play for a Time Lord with a working TARDIS to set up convenient cults for himself on a dozen worlds, just to be on the safe side.

I’mt thinking, particularly, of the Tremas Master’s annihilation on Sarn in my beloved Planet of Fire, which seems particularly conclusive. We see him burn away on-screen; it’s not as simple as saying he teleported to safety in the nick of time. Either time was rewritten, or he was resurrected by… means unknown.

And here’s the thing, despite his panic, the Master does seem to assume he’ll survive. What does he say to express it?

Oh yes… “I’LL PLAGUE YOU TO THE END OF TIME FOR THIS!”

Full circle, eh what? (Yes, that’s a cheap one, but fun nonetheless.)

And on that note, look at the imagery! Of course, having gone down in a column of flame, he would be reconstituted in the same way.

“I had people who were clever enough… to calculate the opposite.”

#The Master #The Tremas Master #The War Chief #Saxon Master #Time Lords #Canon-Welding #Russell T. Davies #The End of Time #Last of the Time Lords #Planet of Fire #The Time Monster #The Meddling Monk #The Rani #First Doctor #The Doctor #Rings #Doctor Who Fandom Shenanigans #Doctor Who

162 notes · View notes

sapphicflower-ao3 · 1 year

Note

Hello my idol sapphicflower (bkdk queen supreme), I'd like you to answer questions 19 and 29 from the writers questions list please!!!!

hazzzeelllll loml !!! <33 ty for asking!!! :D

19. Answered in the previous ask ;3

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

honestly i get 90% of my inspo from witnessing other media (and bkdk-fying them) such as movies/tv shows, books, music, memes, video game playthroughs etc. but sometimes it's stuff from real life like jokes i make to myself and write down in my Joke Doc or when i do something stupid like get blasted by wind on a rainy day and stumble backwards into a stranger and im like omg... that'd be a cute meet cute. AHAHAH

the inspo well has fortunately never stayed dry for too long but during those droughts it's usually sparked by a creative burst of energy right as i'm about to sleep, or when i listen to rlly good music or read some real soul shattering poetry lmao

the ask !!

#rani’s ask box #hazel tysmm luv u #this made me realise that i've never rlly been 'out of' inspiration so far #i do get long droughts of lack of motivation but that's for particular ongoing fics #i've written other stuff in between those ongoing fics which is why i said the well doesn't stay dry for long ajdnsfldm #bc i'm still thinking of things to write and then writing em down c:#ask game

3 notes · View notes

ryttu3k · 24 days

Text

Thoughts on Space Babies and The Devil's Chord, in no particular order:

So we agree that the overarching storyline for this season is stories becoming real, yeah? Starts with invoking folklore at the end of the universe, is solidified with the Toymaker and his rules of play, used heavily in The Church on Ruby Road, and now children's fairytales and musicals? Fascinated to see where this is going!

Generally ridiculously camp and bonkers and you know what, I goddamn missed that. It had whimsy. It had space babies and musical battles! It was fun and ridiculous and just. Felt good, man.

And it also had far-future dystopias and reproductive horror and slow starvation and suffocation and refugees and a timeline of depression and nuclear winter simply to create the universe's biggest aeolian harp so, you know. Doctor Who is back, baby!

Space Babies

Okay the episode was pretty fun and, at times, sweet (they saved the monster!) but oy the CGI/voice acting for the babies was… not great XD;;

Rani reference!

RTD detractors: "Ew, fart jokes with the Slitheen, so immature." RTD, writing an elaborate snot joke that ends with a colossal projectile shart: "Watch this :D"

Okay yes the projectile shart to get the space station moving is one thing, but, uh. How is it going to stop? XD;;

The nanny filter made me giggle each time.

I actually had to go back and check because I was squinting at the readout trying to work out what's weird and somehow failed a spot check and missed the fact that it had started snowing. Good observational skills, self. Anyway, the snow is definitely a Message. (Is it snow? Like I agree that it's connected with the day Ruby was born, but is what's falling in the church scene snow to begin with?)

Do you. Do you think the butterfly can regenerate now.

The Devil's Chord

Oooh, a Pantheon! Love a Pantheon. There's mention of the One Who Waits, speculation on whether 'the Oldest One' was there the day Ruby was born, we already have the Toymaker -> Maestro line, so maybe we'll be getting others? Also, the way Maestro phrased something earlier was fascinating too - "the Lord Temporal who sealed my father in salt". The Lord Temporal. There's been a lot of references to how the Doctor isn't just a Time Lord, maybe they're part of the Pantheon too, as the personification of time? Regeneration and Time Lord society all coming from this base primordial being?

Anyway I goddamn adore Maestro.

I wonder if we'll get Susan at the end of this season? (See: last link of this section!)

July 2024? So that's a good six months of travelling unaccounted for! Big Finish just going 👀

Semi-related but Ruby saying she was born in 2004 gave me a Crisis. Rose was 19 in 2005 and born the same year as me. Yeah okay I am good with that! Martha born in either 1986 or 1984, yep, fine, all checks out. But now there's a companion who was born when I was already an adult how is that legal.

"He ripped my soul in two." Oof.

The sonic actually did something sonic!

"I thought it was non-diegetic!!" I have so many questions. The walls are getting thin. Yeah, especially the fourth! (Random thought: Doctor Who official ARG?)

Lennon-McCartney saves the world! (I still like Harrison's stuff better.)

Apparently Murray Gold had a cameo but I have no idea what he looks like so it went completely over my head lmao

Missed opportunity to play The Devil Went Down To Georgia or The Devil's Trill, although we did get Danse Macabre and Rhapsody in Blue (which I put on as soon as the episode finished)!

Fun fact about Danse Macabre: "The solo violin enters playing the tritone, which was known as the diabolus in musica ("the Devil in music") during the Medieval and Baroque eras, consisting of an A and an E♭—in an example of scordatura tuning, the violinist's E string has actually been tuned down to an E♭ to create the dissonant tritone." (People hated it when it premiered. It made them feel anxious. Which is... kind of appropriate.)

There's always a twist at the end~ (I thought it was little H.Arbringer, but who knows?)

#doctor who #dw spoilers

14 notes · View notes

janaknandini-singh999 · 7 months

Text

Rani lingered by and stepped back in the shadows to avoid being seen by Jamini as she went by, glimpsing a content smile on her ever serene thakuma.

She had no intentions of hearing what the women were talking about but couldn't help herself when she had picked up their voices discussing something intently, especially of her dadi saas Dhanlakshmi, whose unwavering tone was such a contrast to the sweet, yet as determined one, of her thakuma. She smiled.

Both the women just couldn't have more different personalities yet they were talking. They had come together. Because of their respective grandchildren. Rani had always wondered, however, that in temperament maybe she was more like Dhanlakshmi than even her own grandmother. A rock, a parvat - despite of everything she faced, because of everyone she distanced. Rani couldn't ever imagine being distant from her family though, she agreed, but when she was growing up she just felt a little.. different from her family. All of them were beautiful and unique in their own ways but she had grown to be the unrelenting parvat in their house. But after being so strong, in the end, when she'd get tired of it all, she'd often go to find peace the most in her thakuma's chaanv. She was glad her thakuma could talk to Dhanlakshmi, providing something to her dadi saas as well, no matter how little it may have been received because of the walls Dhanlakshmi had put up around her heart since eons now.

She smiled again.

Rocky was so much like her thakuma.

He was bubbly, kind and gentle just like her. If she was the parvat then he was the river flowing from it, calming it down, helping it find a purpose for being strong for so long.

The universe has a strange way of working indeed - these two lovebirds were more like their grandmothers in law than their own grandmothers. She believed that if there's destiny then it was determined to make them come to each other since day one. The evergreen love story of Jamini and Kanwal was simply the first golden ray of an eagerly awaited, breathtaking dawn.

A breeze blew and something fluttered in her palm, her attention diverting to it - an envelope - now remembering why she had come here in the first place. It was a letter she was to deliver. To her dadi saas.

She was learning Punjabi and this was the first thing she wanted to write in the language. She had been moved by how, little by little, Rocky had recently started secretly learning Bangla from her thakuma. He was mad when Rani got to know about it.

"YAAARR SURPRISE DENA THHA MUJHEEE THAAKUMAA NE DHOKA DIYA TUMHE BATAAKEY" Rocky had pouted

"Arey baba unhone NAHI bataya mujhee. Ab tum raat mein sote samey random Bangla gibberish bologe toh KISI KO bhi lagega Monjulika chadhh gayi hain!" Rani had laughed

Rocky had made a bigger puppy face "galat.. Monjulika nahi. Rani Chatterjee chadhh gayi hain mujhe" and had kissed her, grinning

Upon learning about the letter though, Rocky had frowned, saying

"Arey but Punjabi toh sherdilo, deewano ki bhaasha hain! Yeh koi intellectual, dEeP Bangla thodi na hain jo tu aisey heavy topic pe dadi ko likh rahi hain. Aur KYU LIKH RAHI HAIN!??"

Rani had sighed. Her husband was the sweetest angel ever but he was so innocent that it physically used to give her a bittersweet pain sometimes. She had cupped her husband's face and whispered "Many have let her down, baba. It's an apology letter."

He had whispered back "baakiyon ke liye tum kyu maafi maang rahi ho? tumhaari toh koi galti bhi nahi hain."

"Kisiko bhi unki language mein kuch bhi kehne se hamesha woh baat zyaada acche se dil mein jaati hain. Chaahe woh koi bhi ho. Aur hain meri galti. I've been one of those people who have hurt her. I'm not saying that she's never been at fault but.. she's not evil. She is not any more selfish than we all are sometimes. And this is the least she deserves and needs after going through so much. A closure. Maybe a forgiveness that she needs to give to herself too. Maybe she is too proud to give it to herself even now. But maybe my words can help her do that. Just maybe."

"Ab agar unko khudko maaf karna hain toh tum kyu maafi- YAAR BAHOT COMPLICATED hain yeh sab." Rocky groaned in a pillow and then whispered "tumhe jo karna hain karo. But JALDI AANA mujhe tumhare bahot yaad aayegiii"

"OKAYY. Drama queen meri" Rani had shaken her head and broke into laughter with him, kissing his nose before leaving through the door.

The letter fluttered more urgently in her hand now. She had decided to send it as an anonymous one, slipping it in the letterbox of Dhanlakshmi Sweets which was always flooded by a lot of mails anyway so it would be easy.

Just as she opened the mailbox carefully-

"Khud baat karne mein darrti ho kya?"

Rani looked up and saw Dhanlakshmi standing rigidly on the main door of the house. It was the only picture in that moment that one needed to see in order to know who ruled the Randhawa family.

Rani bent down to touch her feet and stiffened when she didn't feel her dadi saas's hands come up to give her blessings. She straightened again, looking elsewhere and clearing her throat.

"Kya hua? Waapis apna wahi puraana bakhaan karne aagayi? Mujhe yeh kehne ki hum dono itne bhi alag nahi hain jitna main samajhti hoon?"

"Nahi." Rani's eyes slowly filling with tears finally met Dhanlakshmi's who was taken a little aback but stood her guard as always.

Rani folded her hands and spoke after what seemed like ages

"I think we couldn't be any more different. I could've never done what you did for your family, that too all alone. You were the backbone when nobody had your back. You're a powerful lady but you have a heart too, no matter how much you tend to show that you don't. And I'm sorry for being one of those to break it, I should've been the last person to do so because I.. understand how it feels to be that way. Dadi," she lowered her head in reverence "ho sake toh.. mujhe maaf kar dena" and the tears came running down, undammed yet again

And Dhanlakshmi came forward, touching Rani's shoulders ever so lightly to make her look up and meet her eyes and Rani could've sworn she saw something changed in them. Rani was so overwhelmed and tired that she closed her eyes when suddenly she felt something on her cheek. She opened her eyes in a flash to find her grandmother in law stiffly patting her bony hand against her cheek - like a long hurt and betrayed child not sure what to do when suddenly being thrown in a pool of genuine affection, like a cold stone being crushed not sure when it will find purpose to be as rigid, hard and strong again. In another lifetime all over again, maybe.

A parvat.

"Ghar ke bade log na kabhi zyaada der tak naaraz rehte hain, naa maafi maangte hain. Bas aashirwaad dete hain" Dhanlakshmi whispered just as coolly and turned around, taking the letter from Rani's who smiled at her dadi saas maa's ever stern figure retreating into her room as if nothing happened.

@houseofbreadpakoda INSPIREDDDD me <3

#desiblr #rocky aur rani ki prem kahani #desi #desi aesthetic #desi tag #desi culture #desi dark academia #desi girl #desi stuff #desi academia #just desi things #bollywood #alia bhatt #ranveer singh

29 notes · View notes

oh-shtars · 28 days

Note

Bonjour, good day, I come with more questions~

1. What Disney character do you think most inspired each character in your rewrite?

2. More Rani loreeee

3. Does Rani have star magic? Although feel free to skip this as it might spoil your ending with Sueño

4. Does Hopes & Dreams have any other pet names for each other?

5. If Ashueño is similar to a genderbent Rapunzel, what dynamic is the royal couple like?

6. What trope best fits Hopes & Dreams? What about the royal couple?

7. Do you have any scrapped ideas you want to share?

8. Are the other character’s wishes important to the story?

9. What Hazbin character is each RFTS!character like?

Oh wow-

I get so happy whenever you guys leave asks and stuff like this. Thanks so much! 🥺💖💖 LOVE YA BO!

If y’all ever send me an ask and I haven’t answered it yet, please know I’m not ignoring you. I either don’t know how to answer it yet or I’m too busy atm. (Especially with exams coming up. Ew.)

(Looking at this, I feel more guilty the more they stay there. 😅 But hey! At least you can look forward to more content, right?)

Anyways, Onto the asks!

1. What Disney character do you think most inspired each character in your rewrite?

I remember doing this one post as a little fun game for everyone to share 3 characters that inspired their main characters. But since you asked for just one and it has to be a Disney character, guess I’ll do that.

You can visit the post if you want to see mine and other AUs’ participation.

Asha = Belle (Beauty and the Beast)

Sueño = Aladdin

Magnifico = Hades (Hercules)

Amaya = Zarina (Tinkerbell: The Pirate Fairy)

Valentino = Younger Simba (The Lion King)

(I don’t have a solid personality for the 7 teens since they’re not going to have as big of a role. I do have their key traits in my notes so I can look back to it as a guide. But I’m just going to go with the flow when writing their scenes.)

……..

2. More Rani Loreeeeee

I haven’t even finished a final outline for the main plot of the RFTS!story, so idk even for a sequel. Maybe I’ll do some random drawings of family bonding moments and just him being a precious little guy.

(Hypothetically speaking, IF both Asha and Sueño survive the tragedy I’ll inflict on them. I mean what- who said that?)

All I know for Rani is that he’s someone who’s not sure what is the one thing he’s passionate for. And in this kingdom where everyone is so sure what they want and striving to achieve it, he feels lost. Surely, people only have one passion, right? Why can’t he find and settle for one?

Whenever he finds something he could be passionate about, Rani feels icky at the thought of just permanently sticking to it from now on. But at the same time, he criticises himself for being ‘irresponsible and indecisive.’

He “longs” to know his place and know what he wishes to do exactly. Rani doesn’t like being told, “But you’re so talented!!” because he personally thinks it’s unhelpful. It doesn’t make his choice of picking one passion any easier.

He also doesn’t really like vague answers to his questions and gets frustrated with it. “Believe in yourself.” “You’ll get there.” “Keep going!” “You’ll know it when you feel it.” “I don’t know what you’re aspiring to do, but I bet you’ll do great.” Well guess what? He doesn’t know what he’s doing either. :D

Also: *G A S P*. Not a strong believer of Wishing stars nor looking to the sky for answers! 😱 Rani prefers to “see-it-to-believe-it.” A more down to earth person who wants real solutions, not just hoping for something to magically happen.

(Some stuff might change but here’s an overview of Rani just like you asked- :))

…………

3. Does Rani have star magic?

Ehhhhh, I’ll say he has general knowledge in magic and just about anything he finds interesting and gets his hands on. Not really star magic, though he has the skill of a fast-learner when learning about regular magic. Again, Rani’s existence may or may not be hypothetical. 🤷

………

4. Does Hopes & Dreams have any other pet names for each other?

Sueño is not really one for pet names since he adores Asha just as she is, including her name. But in his head and through the sign language he eventually learns, he does sometimes call her: “Love or My Sky”

(I love “My Sky” so much because it FITS him. He loves the feeling of freedom and is claustrophobic. So he’s basically saying he feels so free and happy to be around her. Also, *coughs* Bo. “Sky”. My Sky. “Cielo”. Amirite? This was unintentional, I swear-)

For Asha, she calls Sueño: “Starlight, Mi Sueño (this is her fav one ofc), Sunny (though this is more general), Hon/Honey.”

For the last one, I have a silly headcanon that Sueño comes to have honey as one of his fav foods. It sort of rhymes with his other nickname, “Sunny,” and Asha thinks it’s hilarious to tease him with the “honey” nickname when he gets all sticky.

Idk why I even came up with this, but the thought that he’ll eat anything, even food he usually doesn’t like, that is dipped in honey on it is just funny, okay? And it connects to Hal too since I remember she’s meant to be a beekeeper. (This may also be a cute little reference with Winnie the Pooh if Sueño shapeshifts. Hehehe)

Btw, stars can taste but not go hungry. Like how they touch and feel stuff but not feel pain when inflicted or hit by something. If it’s dark magic, then that’s the only exception and they can feel pain.

…….

5. If Ashueño is similar to a genderbent Rapunzel, what dynamic is the royal couple like?

Idk actually. I made Amnifico or ‘Grand Despair’ from scratch without referring or getting inspired by any couple I know. It’s mostly songs and vibes I’ve collected to create their dynamic. Same with Ashueño. The Rapunzel similarity was not intentional. 😅

(I think you should be worried because my RFTS!Spotify playlist has lots of angst- lol.)

Uhhhhhhh, maybe Grand Despair can be something akin to Charity and P.T Barnum from the Greatest Showman. But darker and eviler.

A guy who promises something for his beloved, gets carried away, and eventually forgetting what this was all for in the first place. :3

……

6. What trope best fits Hopes and Dreams? What about the royal couple?

Hopes and Dreams:

“Soulmates/Fate” (I think we can all agree that these two are meant to be, either platonically or romantically, in any universe both AU and Canon.)

👏 SLOW 👏 BURN👏 (That pang of realisation always gets me)

Thinks she’s no one special x Treats her like royalty

Grand Despair:

Doomed Romance

Pissy x Only one who calms him down

”Us against the World”

……….

7. Do you have any scrapped ideas you want to share?

Not anything that wouldn’t spoil some stuff for the plot. Sorry 😞

……

8. Are the other characters’ wishes important to the story?

Hmmmmm. I guess they influence the narrative and further establish the conflict of the story.

Like, the characters are used to just taking the easy way to achieve their dreams by waiting for the day Magnifico grants them one morning. They can make as much as they want. Unbeknownst to them, they’re stuck in this cycle of always wanting more but never satisfied.

They keep wishing and wishing, believing that they have no chance of reaching it on their own without their king’s help.

I’d like the main theme to be: not being afraid to dream big and “Reach for the Stars” but you shouldn’t expect grand things to just come to you instantly. You’ll need to take faith and work for it. Why? Because the whole journey getting there, regardless of the many struggles, is worth it and it sure is something to look back and be proud of.

It sure is what Walt Disney did, isn’t it? :)

……..

9. What Hazbin character is each RFTS!character like?

It’s kind of difficult to pick from the Hazbin cast what each RFTS!character is like since one plot is based off of dreams and everything nice while the other is literally based in hell. 😂

But I’ll try:

Asha:

Emily was the closest I could think of. (Since I literally couldn’t think of anyone else. Oof-) Not really referring to the happy, excited part of her. More like the “I believe these people deserve a lot better than this” and eventually finding her voice to stand up against authority for the people she cares about.

Sueño:

No, not the aggressive and assertive side of Vaggie. Lol nope. More like getting attached to the MC that helped them get back onto their feet, warmly welcomed them in this strange new world, and now they would do anything to help them get their dreams come true whatever it takes.

(Also, a secret they’re keeping that’s eating them up inside with guilt and constantly worrying that the MC would hate their guts if they knew. Oops-)

Magnifico:

I’d say the fake-ass showmanship he puts out in public but in reality, he’s really done and exhausted with his audience. He’s still pretty charismatic when he wants to be but I can see him losing his cool quite easily, leading to outbursts.

Amaya:

Idkkkk. The main cast of Hazbin don’t really fit RFTS!Amaya’s vibe so I just went with Lilith despite how we know nothing about her at the moment. (This is probs gonna age badly-)

She’s a parental figure to someone who trusts her a lot but in reality, her motivations might not be what they seem. She could be willing to sacrifice other people if it means she gets a benefit out of them.

#ask #reach for the stars au #rfts au #wish au #wish rewrite #wish starboy #wish star #wish asha #ashueño #wish magnifico #wish amaya #magnifico x amaya #star x asha #asha x star #Yayayayay! Asks!! :D #✨

11 notes · View notes

avengedbiologist · 3 months

Text

The Ainley!master's hair tier list.

Now I said I'd write an essay (which this could end up as to be honest) on the Masters hair in 'The kings demons', but that's not happening (unless I have a silly moment) but a tier list is happening.

I need people to know that I did hair, makeup and SFX at uni so I do not actually shut up about any of this. Also included are Tremas and some of the Masters disguises. This probably isn't all his appearances but it's all the ones I've seen so let's go ✌️

Tah dahh! So pretty. Now let's get chatting, starting at the bottom:

D TIER:

The ultimate foe, part of trials of a timelord. It's flat, his hair is always slicked back yes but, something about it in this, it's not insanely bad but it's not that good either.

Kings demons: Sir Gilles Estram (?) the wig itself isn't bad but sommat about the eyebrows and beard make me nauseous, maybe it's just the character itself I don't know.

Castrovalva: See 'The ultimate foe'.

C TIER

Keeper of Traken/Mark of the rani: again, nothing too exciting, just more loose than the D tier ones,, not bad.

B TIER

Portreeve- the wig is giving, they have to stop giving Ainley these (presumably) lace front wigs, like hello?? It looks so well made and I would love to make a beard like that (I'm not brave enough to hand make beards (yet). The style of the wig as well, the curls at the bottom?? The hair line?? Perfection! Also I know it's not hair but the facial SFX??? Hello??? I assume latex aging (if so Ainley is a brave soul, that shit hurts to peel off esp a full face). I say so many positive things but don't have it in S tier. Probably cause it's not my fave visually.

Survival- Now I know this is very much like those lower tier styles,,, I was going to say grey bits in his hair but I fear I'm seeing things so I'm going to speak about the beard and say that's why it's up there. It's wider and works very well for this, it goes out a bit wider and is also a bit lighter suggesting maybe the start of grey hair coming in,, girls getting older. Maybe this look is boring and basic but the episode survival just pushes it up. And the teeth??? I love when shows have good SFX teeth. I should really research how they did SFX teeth back then,,, it's probably the same as now really,, who knows.

What I'm going to assume is logopolis (I'm probably wrong) and city of fire, same as basic hair just has a better volume,,, who knew such small changes could make such a difference. I feel people don't notice these things but I do spend 90% of my time when watching TV shows looking at the hair.

A TIER

The five doctors/time flight- same shape but has more fluffier bits, feels more real or something I don't know, it just looks nicer! Could be on top but isn't the best show of this fluffy hair vibes. Also I don't know if it's a random shadow or sommat but I think I can see the master's beard lace line in the five doctors,,, but that's probably just me looking too hard.

S TIER

Destiny of the doctors- now I mentioned the greys earlier but this is what I'm TALKING ABOUT, wowie ! Idk if his hair is a wig or not,, but either way by god ! I'm so glad they didn't give him dark hair, he looks so good in this whole thing!!! AHHH!! Peak hair fr, AND !! It's slightly fluffy, not that stupid flat hair,,, perfect combo !

Keeper of traken/Tremas- megaslay with this whole look, I'm planning on hand making this wig/beard combo at some point that's how much I love it. The wig is just stunning, so sleek and nice and I originally didn't think the beard worked but it works, the hair frames the beard as well which is neato. The traken hairstyles actually mean so much to me oml. How the men's hair seems to be a sleek shoulder length cut and the women all have curls (at least the main cast idk about the background cast). I love when a planet has a set style 😝.

The kings demons: when I said the right about of fluffiness I mean this, the waves the looseness of the hair AHHHHHHHH! Love that, I eat it up. Idk why but it brings a sense of youthfulness to him. I get y'all r analysing the 5/Ainley stuff in that chameleon scene in the kings demons but all I'm doing is looking at the masters hair ! His hair isn't even like pulled straight back it goes to the side a bit, ugh it's perfect.

#uh oh im on my hair bullshit yet again #woopsie 👉👈#anthony ainley #ainley!master #the master #doctor who

12 notes · View notes

goratrix-betrayed · 2 years

Text

Living with a “Problematic” Fictional Identity (And Where to Go from Here)

During my panel at this year's Othercon, I promised to publicly release the script I read from. This is that script: this is what I said before the Q&A and discussion portion of the panel. Once the recording of the panel is live, I will reblog this with a link, as quite a few people expressed interest in it. (I have been informed that my voice was paramount for proper enjoyment of the panel; I don't know if that's quite true, but it's what people said.)

Here is the blurb I originally wrote for the panel on the schedule:

A lecture followed by questions and discussion about navigating through life with a “problematic” fictotype or as a “problematic” fictive. How to find community, how to cope, what responsibilities we may or may not have, what morality means for us and where the line between choices “then” and choices “now” lies.

Now, for the script itself.

Introduction

Greetings, people, creatures, and other beings. Welcome. This is a panel about how to live with “problematic” fiction-based identities, and I am someone with one such identity. My name is Goratrix. I am a fictive. Back in my source of Vampire: the Masquerade, I did quite a few bad things, the details of which I will not go into here or now. If you’re curious, I have written entire essays on the topic. Suffice to say that many of my actions were morally repugnant to most, making me quite the moral quandary to some people who encounter me online in this strange reality I have found myself in. Presumably, quite a few of you have had a similar experience—whether you be fictionkin, a fictive, or something similar, or just know someone who is, some of you undoubtedly have identities that are not as squeaky clean as some people would like. Perhaps they are voluntary, perhaps they are not. Perhaps you regret the things “you,” as in, your identity, did, or perhaps not.

Today, we are here to discuss that, how to live with it, and where to go from here.

I will say this: I am going to be making a case for universal acceptance of people with identities like these. Yes, even those people. Yes, even people that did that, whatever you are thinking about. If you disagree with me, that’s fine. I will be happy to discuss and debate this—respectfully—in the later sections of the panel or after it ends. If the concept of accepting people despite their crimes in another world upsets you, please feel free to leave the panel at any time. I will not notice and I will not mind. That being said, those who want to have respectful conversation or have respectful questions—whether they disagree with me or not—will have time at the end of the panel to speak up. I can’t take questions during the lecture effectively because I am easily distracted and long-winded; a bad combination for staying on-script. So, please, hold your questions for me until I open the floor for them. There will be multiple opportunities to speak up, and I will take suggestions and feedback on certain topics throughout the panel. Thank you all for understanding and cooperating. To head off one question, though—if you are wondering if I always talk like this, yes. I do. You get used to it.

Special thank-you to Chaiya, Pale, Rani, and everyone else who gave feedback and/or encouragement during the writing of this panel. I think I would have been reduced to ash without them.

Initial Discussion

No matter what way you spin it, there are identities out there that people don’t like. In a broad sense, this is more obvious: there are bigots worldwide. In our community, however, this can be a little harder to spot if you aren’t one of the affected, and it can be all-consuming if you are. Syscourse and purity culture plague us, as do accusations of being abusers and varying ableist claims of us being “sick in the head.” Ironic, coming from those battling to get recognition for their kintypes and headmates at all, don’t you think?

Attacking someone for who they are is ridiculous. Most people do not choose their identities, problematic or not. A common argument in the otherkin community against outside harassment is that you do not choose to be ‘kin—you just are. Must I spell it out? Must I explain that there is no difference, here, between someone whose kintype is a wolf and someone whose kintype is a murderer? The identity simply is. By attacking or allowing harassment of these “problematic” people, you are indicating that the entire community deserves harassment. Furthermore, people are not responsible for the actions of their kintypes. Yes, they are their kintypes, but did they make those decisions now, as they people they are, now? Typically no. They did not choose to be this, they did not choose the actions; leave them be.

Ah, but Goratrix, you may be saying. What about the people that did choose their identity? And what about fictives, who have no distance between their sense of self and their fictional identity—their “fictomere,” as we call it on the fictionkind Dreamwidth?

I shall address voluntary identities first. There are a thousand and one reasons to voluntarily identify with, or on some level, become, a character or creature. (Some would argue that the line of voluntary and involuntary is rather blurry in places, which I agree with, but that is not in the purview of this panel.) Perhaps they are coping with something, maybe even the thing that the character is guilty of. Perhaps not. Perhaps they see a shred of who they could have been in this character, given different circumstances, and see them as a different version of themselves to be integrated into their personality and considered. To be quite honest, it’s none of our business. Identity is a deeply personal thing—especially identity that you choose for yourself—and judging anyone, for any reason, based on it is going to get messy, unpleasant, immoral, and run into exceptions left and right. Who’s to say which exceptions are allowed, and which are not? Who’s to be the referee on the harassment of the “right” “problematic” identities? You see how this can go wrong, I imagine. And, furthermore, once again, these people did not perform these actions in this world, in this life. If you were to go to the authorities about these people, accusing them of a crime or some immoral act, with no evidence other than “they identify as a fictional character that did this,” you would be laughed off the block. These people have done nothing wrong, and I implore that those of you who disagree please consider why you disagree. Have you considered why they took on the identity at all, or are you just experiencing a kneejerk reaction? Put yourself in their shoes, just for a moment. Consider what might make you take on such an identity, and try to see it in other people. Assume the best, for assuming the worst tears you down as quickly as it tears down those around you, and, speaking as someone who repeatedly assumes the worst in people, it can destroy your life. Do better than I did; grow from this.

Now, onto the topic of fictives, of which I am one. There is frequently a distinct divide in fictotype and fictive; while someone is their fictotype, in many cases they are also separate from it, in that they have lived a life separate from their fictotype in this world. (Note that I am speaking generally, not completely—generalization is necessary for conversations like this, and I apologize for those who do not fit in with such generalizations or the words I am using. I am speaking largely from personal experience within my system.) Fictives are not that way, or at least, are not that way initially. (Fictives can change into very different people upon exposure to this world and time spent living in it, something I know well from watching my headmates and fictives in systems I have befriended.) Fictives typically appear in the system as if they’d been plucked straight from their source, from their life. They are precisely the people who made their life choices, and in some cases, those choices are abhorrent to your average Internet-goer. In my case, my morally questionable decisions include murder, betrayal, and human experimentation, among others. Does that not make me a criminal, worthy of damnation?

I argue: no. It does not.

Why?

Because the circumstances that led me to make the choices I did do not exist in this world. I have been here for almost a year, and have done nothing that others would consider “wrong,” as far as I am aware. (This is a record for me.) Why is that?

My source is Vampire: the Masquerade. My nightly life was filled with political, scheming, ancient vampires that would backstab me given a moment of weakness, a second of hesitation. I had to be ruthless, conniving, murderous, or I would be cut down, and I refused to let myself be killed by the world I had been thrust into, nay, that I had clawed my way into living in, desperate to survive. I considered those things that I did necessary, even “right”—in the situation I was in, the standards for “right” are quite low, and if you are keeping yourself and those you care about alive without harming others merely for the fun of it, you are doing quite well.

This world, and my system’s placement within it, does not force me into those kinds of situations. I have no need to kill, backstab, and lie here, and I argue that if I did, it would not be wrong of me to do so, because trying to merely survive is not wrong. People do what they must, and fictives, even the ones who seem the most horrible, were forged by circumstance just as I was. Hell, this applies to fictotypes, too—people do what they must to survive.

All right, say circumstances were not life-or-death and someone still did something you consider “wrong.” Can they be harassed?

No.

Let me bring up my theory of morality: people do the best they can in the circumstances they are in with the information they have. What is “best” depends on nothing more than prioritization—in my mind, that is all morality is: prioritization. What is more important: the life of an animal, or the life of a human? Someone’s bodily autonomy, or someone else’s life? Your life, or someone else’s? Your pocketbook, or someone’s livelihood? All morality can be broken down this way. Moral debates happen when two or more people have different moral priorities, and consider each other’s prioritization to be “wrong” in some way. I am not free of this; I find people who are willing to harm others for mere entertainment to be doing something “wrong,” but I do try not to throw bricks when living in a glass house; I know my list of actions better than anybody, and I also know that a morality system where my own survival is paramount (second only to the survival of the one I love) is bound to be seen as “wrong” by many. This does not bother me.

My point, in bringing this up, is that few people believe that what they are doing is both wrong and unnecessary. People may do things they consider wrong to survive, and hate every minute, or may do things they consider right unnecessarily, but people rarely do what they think is wrong for reasons they believe are unnecessary. People’s moral prioritizations are formed by the circumstances in which they are in and were raised. Had I been born into a world with limited or no magic, no vampires—this world—I would be completely unrecognizable. I would be a different man entirely, one that you likely would not consider to be “problematic!” If I had chosen to perform the same actions, unnecessarily, that I did back in my source, when I felt it necessary, morally, for me to do, then perhaps I would be worthy of judgment or retaliation. Furthermore, anything I did in this world would be fair game, because it was done in this world. If I murder someone here, then yes, I should face some kind of retaliation for that. I would have done it here, just as things I did back in the world I am from earned retaliation there. It just seems ridiculous, to me, to judge someone by moral standards that they have no concept of nor connection with, across entire worlds and across the boundary of fiction, when chances are that they were doing the best they could with the way they saw the world. People who are “problematic,” in terms of fiction or fandom, are not inherently dangerous in this world, because of the change in circumstances. And, furthermore—don’t they deserve another chance? A chance to be who they feel is best in these new circumstances?

That being said, no one is obligated to interact with anyone else. If you cannot get over what someone did back in their source, and are uncomfortable with them—fine. That’s your business, not theirs: avoid or block them and move on. Anyone is well within their right to refuse to interact with anyone for any reason. Harassment, however, is over the line, and I think you all know that. Identity is identity; leave well enough alone.

If you are one of these people—as I’m sure many of you are—with a “problematic” fictional identity, you are not wrong for merely existing. You are not alone. You are not doomed to be hated and reviled forever. And, if you struggle with your identity, you are not doomed to struggle alone forever. Let us move now to the topic of coping.

Coping

For fictives, it can be extremely traumatic to come to this world and find out how different things are here. To find out that what you did is so repugnant as to be seemingly worthy of constant harassment and no support—and for fictionkin, learning that your fictotype is someone that did things that you consider horrific can be traumatizing as well. Good God, I cannot even imagine learning that I am, or was, someone who did something that I would consider repugnant. Facing that and coping with it can be hard enough without hordes of strangers getting on you about it. People do not need help in feeling bad for who they are; they do need help in accepting it and handling it in a healthy way.

There are infinite types of trauma, here. My suggestion, overall, is this: approach it with a policy of self-forgiveness. I know it can be difficult, but listen to me: remember my definition of morality earlier. You did what you felt was best with the circumstances you were in and the information you had. Forgive yourself for doing differently than you would do now. Changing your priorities, and thus, your morality, is not hypocritical—it is growth. Let no one take that from you. Let no one take what you find precious in your identity from you, because it may be your past, or a parallel present, or something that your mind latched onto because it was important to you. Let no one take this from you. Forgive yourself, if need be, and never let anyone make you feel like you cannot do that, or like you don’t deserve to do that. Defend yourself from those who would wrong you for the things that were done in your source.

My suggestion on coping and dealing with cruelty from the community is quite simple, but I have found it effective. It comes in two parts: one, block liberally, and two, find a small group that accepts you and stick primarily to them. There are community spaces that facilitate this, but you can also form small groups of friends. Discord DMs, email chains, Snapchat threads, whatever works for you. Block those who will not accept you and allow yourself to befriend those who will. If people would hurt, harass, or exploit you for things done in your source, block them. The block button is there to protect you. You have been given a potent tool—use it. Consider it a form of taking care of yourself, and, if need be, self-forgiveness.

Finding friends you can trust is harder, and admittedly, I am not the best person to ask about this. I have only recently begun to open up, and have gotten lucky with the system’s pre-existing friends. Furthermore, I have had little need to cope with my identity, although I have watched multiple fictives in our system have to deal with it, so my advice here is somewhat limited, but here is another suggestion: work on accepting and understanding your identity. Journal, make posts, do long-form writings, answer prompts—whatever helps you unpack everything, whatever helps you understand and record, do it. I thought it silly, at first, but after I started doing longform writings, I never looked back—I enjoy them immensely, and wish I had more time for them.

I believe it best to open the floor for a few minutes for suggestions on both coping and finding an accepting group, including community spaces. I know of the fictionkind Dreamwidth, of which I am an administrator—where else is there that accepts people such as us? How do you find accepting friends? How do you cope? Leave your suggestions in chat. Let us have a brief conversation before we move on.

Growth

Let us continue, now, on the topic of healing and changing. I spoke earlier of morality being shaped by circumstance, and of our ability to alter our morality via reprioritization, something fairly common in fictives especially. (After all, fictionkind tend to have their own sense of morality before awakening as fictionkind, as do those with heartypes and most other identities.) We are capable of doing this—changing from what we are and were—but I ask: are we obligated to do so? Must we become “good” people, model citizens of the world we now find ourselves in? I say no—as long as you are not bringing direct harm to others, it’s no one else’s business who you are, what you feel, what you believe. You should not be forced to change your very identity and sense of self just because someone else does not like it. The self is the most intensely personal thing about anyone, and it is no one’s business but yours.

However, I am also not saying that you should act with impunity here just as you would back in your source. Chances are excellent that you can’t get away with what you would, there, and if you’re a fictive, you could hurt your headmates or get them in trouble. I will not presume to tell you how to handle dealing with your headmates (or whatever word you use to describe them), but I would advise not harming them intentionally. Chances are, you are stuck with them, possibly for the long run—does it not make sense to try to get along with them? I will leave that in your discerning hands, however.

I won’t tell you how to live your life, but I will recommend that you think carefully about what parts of your behavior you want to perpetuate moving forward. This should always be considered every time you enter a new, drastically different, situation: this is just one of the most drastic. When it comes to myself as an example, I did not have to think on it much: I don’t enjoy hurting people, I just did so out of necessity. Here, I am not pushed to behave the way I did. My cutthroat sense of morality is key to who I am, and I refuse to abandon it, but the objectionable parts of it never come up since I am never pushed into dire straits here. I believe the worst thing I have done so far is threaten to block people who harass me because I don’t care enough to try to convince them on a one-on-one basis to respect me. What a nightmarish creature I am, truly.

If you do not wish to change who you are, just as I did not, but also do not wish to do “immoral” things that would incite reasonable consequences, there is a balance to be struck between “same identity and morals” and “new behavior”--and that balance is different for everyone. I have worked out mine: you will have to take the time to work out yours. If you need a sounding board for that, my inbox is open, both on Tumblr and Discord.

Perhaps you do want to grow beyond your identity, whether you be a fictive or someone with a different kind of identity that influences you in ways you do not like. I think that, if this is something on your mind, it is a good idea: with this kind of thing, wanting it tends to mean you need it. Remember what I said about morality and prioritization: that is a matter of reprioritizing. For other parts of yourself: don’t think about changing what already exists. Think about adding onto it, and the change will come in time. Pick up a new hobby. Make some friends. Play a game, make a playlist of songs you like but don’t necessarily have anything to do with your fictional identity. Get involved in something creative, whether it be making or consuming, and relate to other characters. Modify your behavior in ways that make you happy, but remember two very important things: one, never change yourself because someone else wants you to, and two, changing who you are is not hypocrisy, it is growth. No one stays stagnant forever, even those of us who cling to our identities because we do not wish to move beyond them: even as myself, as Goratrix, I grow and change, but well within the bounds of what people would think is still Goratrix.

What Now?

So you have this identity steeped in fiction. So you have heard all of what I have to say thus far. Perhaps you are accepting this identity, perhaps you are struggling with it. Perhaps you want to connect with and understand it more, perhaps you have feelings you need to get off of your chest, perhaps you want to move on from it. What now?

Find community.

I cannot express enough how much community has helped me in accepting my current place in this world, who I am, and why I did the things I did—and why I do the things I do now. I am changing, just as everyone does, and accepting that has been difficult. I am more social in a positive sense than I have been since my pre-vampirism days (which was about a thousand years ago) and I had a hard time accepting that until I began to make friends in the community who I legitimately enjoy speaking with.

Communities of this type, I’m sorry to say, cannot be found in broad social media spaces like Tumblr or Twitter. It’s too chaotic, too public, too out there—smaller communities are our best bet. Earlier, I asked you all to give me examples of community spaces where people like us can go to find refuge and no judgment while we work through, or even just live as, our identities—I recommend going through those and finding places that you feel might work for you. Again: I run the fictionkind Dreamwidth—which, despite its name, welcomes anyone with any kind of fiction-based identity—and we put up with no harassment or judgment of any type. That kind of behavior gets corrected, and if it continues, the offending party is removed. There are plenty of spaces for people who want to be judgmental and downright bitchy: let us have our havens, of which there are precious few. It is vital that your only external acknowledgement of your identity not be toxic—the self-hatred and emotional damage that can result from that is something that I am sure many of you are all too familiar with.

I will say, however, that “community” does not mean “fandom.” I do not recommend engaging with your source’s fandom in the context of your identity: in most cases, this will lead to misunderstanding and harassment. Many people with fiction-based identities avoid fandom, period—I am one of these people. I cannot stand it. This goes doubly so for interacting with creators of a source in your capacity as your fiction-based identity—I recommend that you do not engage with them outwardly as this. This cannot go well: it will only make you and them uncomfortable. The possible exception to this is when it comes to, say, having an identity based on a friend’s OC or similar—since they know you, or a member of your system, they might be more accepting, or they might be more upset. Know that you did nothing wrong in having this identity, and that it may be best to not tell them to avoid the potential hangup of them getting upset at the implication that you know their character better than they do. I would typically err on the side of not saying anything, but I will leave that in your capable hands. You may want to get advice from community members on a case-by-case basis if you are unsure of how to proceed.

In addition to finding community, I recommend that you do writings on your identity. They don’t have to be pages and pages long: just a few paragraphs journaling your experiences would do. Write essays if you’d like, or just bullet-pointed thoughts. Answer prompts. Do creative writing exercises. You can keep these to yourself, or you can post them, which I would encourage. It can be immensely helpful to a newly-awakened or formed individual to find writings, no matter how small, from someone like them. The feeling of “thank God I’m not alone” cannot be underestimated.

Post them on your blog, or in your smaller community. Post them on your personal website—yes, your personal website, which you should have if you do any significant amount of writing, just ask Page—or anywhere else you can slot them in. Write for yourself, and write for your past self who may have wished that there was more out there to guide them and make them feel like they were not alone. I know I wish that there had been more out there when I formed—other VTM fictives, more writings from other “problematic” beings. Write to understand and accept yourself, write to heal from any damages inflicted on you because of or by this identity, write to leave something for future wanderers of our breed—whatever your reason, I implore you to write. Write and find community: spend time with people. Find elders of your community and speak to them—they have more insight than you can imagine, more ideas than you realize, and less time and energy to implement them than anyone would prefer.

If you want to put yourself out there and build community, help run events, do things, excellent. I would love to see it, and I’m sure that others here would, as well. If you want to just exist with your identity, maybe answer a few prompts, talk to some people—that’s all you need. You need not do anything to deserve to exist as you are—you are more than enough, dear listener, and never, ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

At this point, my long paragraphs of thoughts are over. I want to hear what you have to say. I made sure to get as much time as I could for you to ask questions, speak your comments, voice your concerns. This is your time: I am sure many of you have questions, at least. Ask away.

Closing Notes (Post-questions)

Our time is running short, and we must end the panel at this point. I will be available via Discord PM for anyone who still has questions or wishes to speak to me about anything; my inbox on Tumblr is open as well, for those who would rather communicate there or send me something anonymously. Please remember that the anonymous toggle is a privilege, not a right, and if you use it to send cruel or rude messages to me, I will block you without reply and eventually disable the ability to use it.

Before we go, however, I wanted to read you my favorite poem. I formed during last year’s Othercon, and my first memory of this world is Pale reading this poem at the beginning of his panel, which had a similar theme to this one.

This is A Monstrous Manifesto by Cat Valente.

If you are a monster, stand up.

If you are a monster, a trickster, a fiend,

If you’ve built a steam-powered wishing machine

If you have a secret, a dark past, a scheme,

If you kidnap maidens or dabble in dreams

Come stand by me.

If you have been broken, stand up.

If you have been broken, abandoned, alone

If you have been starving, a creature of bone

If you live in a tower, a dungeon, a throne

If you weep for wanting, to be held, to be known,

Come stand by me.

If you are a savage, stand up.

If you are a witch, a dark queen, a black knight,

If you are a mummer, a pixie, a sprite,

If you are a pirate, a tomcat, a wright,

If you swear by the moon and you fight the hard fight,

Come stand by me.

If you are a devil, stand up.

If you are a villain, a madman, a beast,

If you are a strowler, a prowler, a priest,

If you are a dragon come sit at our feast,

For we all have stripes, and we all have horns,

We all have scales, tails, manes, claws and thorns

And here in the dark is where new worlds are born.

Come stand by me.

#othercon #fictionkin #fictionkind #fictive #fictives #otherkin #otherhearted #fictionhearted #otherlink #fictionlink #alterhuman #essays #goratrix's tower talks

262 notes · View notes