Radio Bam - F!Reader Fic
Episode Four
ep one - ep two - ep three
Desc: You’re a regular on radio bam!!!! And you’re a whore !!!
A/n: thank you anons for inspiration <3 also gonna keep eps a little shorter so i have more to write for! feel free to send more ideas!
warnings: strong language, explicit mentions of sex
⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒ ⭒
Y/n: It’s Radio fucking Bam everyone, Dico’s done enough intros for now I’m sick of him calling me a whore so I’m doing it tonight! Today we got minging ass Brandon DiCamillo, father of the year Brandon Novak, the dickhead that airs out everyone’s business Ryan Gee and the other dickhead Baaaaaaam Margera!!! Oh and me hot pants.
Dico: You’re calling yourself hot pants now?
Y/n: I’m embracing it, it’s kinda endearing.
Dico: I wouldn't say that.
Novak: Y/n can’t call me a whore anymore after last night.
Bam: Ah man I’m still fucking thinking about that.
Y/n: We’re airing this out already huh?
Dico: Shocked Gee hasn’t posted about it on his website yet.
Bam: He’s typing it up right now.
Gee: I didn’t get a photo of it.
Y/n: Thank god.
Bam: Y/n you genuinely deserve the whore title for that I’m not kidding.
Dico: It’s up there with Novak’s worst.
Y/n: No it is not you guys are so fucking dramatic.
Gee: Dude it was pretty hardcore whoring.
Y/n: Let a girl live.
Y/n: As if Novak’s never fucked in there either.
Y/n: As if Novak’s never fucked in there either.
Novak: Well I don’t bring home random haggard ass dudes from the bar.
Y/n: I was taking a page from your fucking book! Last week you assholes were yelling at me for hooking up with people I know so I brought home a random for once and now you’re all acting like I committed a crime.
Dico: Fucking on a couch is a crime.
Bam: This is not helping your ‘I don’t have an exhibitionist kink’ case.
Y/n: Wow big words from you Bam.
Bam: Frantz taught me that shit.
Y/n: Well it’s not my fault you fuckers destroyed my god damn room so I have to sleep on the couch now.
Gee: Yeah sleep on the couch not fuck on it.
Y/n: Where the fucks Jess he needs to defend my honour.
Dico: Is he your next victim?
Y/n: Haha, very funny. No but seriously why were you guys barging in in the first place?!
Bam: BARGING INTO MY OWN LIVING ROOM??!!
Y/n: IT WAS LIKE FOUR FUCKING AM I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL ASLEEP!
Novak: I never sleep babe.
Y/n: Yeah cause’ you were fucking someone too.
Novak: On my own bed cause’ I’m not an animal.
Y/n: Dude you’ve fucked in dirty ass bathrooms you are one to talk.
Dico: That couch is fucking minging Y/n you’re gonna give everyone STDs.
Bam: Can we tell the listeners what actually happened now?
Dico: Yeah Y/n I’d love to know what was going through your head.
Y/n: Well there’s nothing to tell, you guys just walked in on me fucking.
Dico: It was worse than that.
Bam: No let me tell it. So we were hanging out upstairs at my house and then we were like wait where the fuck is Y/n and that guy she brought home from the bar cause’ she wasn’t in her room. Anyways, it’s pretty late at this stage but we ran out of beers so we went downstairs and what do we fucking hear?!
Novak: *claps hands*
Dico: *dramatic moaning*
Y/n: Oh god shut up.
Bam: Y/n is full on humping this lanky green bean looking dude on the couch we hang out on every fucking day!
Novak: A sight for sore eyes baby.
Y/n: I’m so fucking done with these double standards. I can’t even count on two hands the amount of times we’ve all seen Novak fucking everywhere but when I do it I’m the biggest whore?!
Bam: Are you actually pissed right now?
Y/n: You know what? Yeah! I am fucking pissed!
Dico: Well before Bam and Y/n slit each others throats Jessie Margera is here!
Jess: Did I come at the wrong time?
Y/n: Jess I’m dead fucking serious if one more person calls me a whore tonight I’m getting violent.
Novak: You gotta admit it babe, it was pretty whory.
Y/n: Alright yeah but being compared to you is where I draw the line.
Dico: Don’t get your panties in a twist.
Novak: I’ll untangle em for you aaayyooo.
Y/n: Fuck you guys.
Bam: We’ll stop slut shaming you for a minute before you fucking implode.
Y/n: Thank you.
Dico: We should read some hate mail.
Bam: Oh we’re absolutely reading hate mail I fucking love hate mail.
Y/n: I already know what this shits gonna be.
Bam: Oh my god this ones already off to a great start.
Y/n: Christ.
Bam: Bam, stop putting that little fucking slut on air. Her whorish endeavours are vomit-inducing I don’t wanna hear anymore stories about field fucking or I will cut off my ears and send them to you.
Jess: Jesus.
Bam: It gets worse. Why the fuck do you hang out with the little brat, you’re hot shit and she’s fucking everything that walks except you and Novak. At least she’s not thick enough to catch an STD from his haggard ass but I’m sure she has a whole host of them anyways.
Novak: Hey man.
Y/n: This funny to you Bam?
Bam: Hysterical.
Y/n: I thought we were done slut shaming me for today.
Dico: It’s fine you can have your knight in shining armour Dunn to shield you from it.
Y/n: Oh god shut up asshole.
Gee: Ryan?
Bam: Oh yeah isn’t he picking you up after this?
Y/n: Don’t turn this into something, we’re just gonna see a movie.
Novak: You gonna fuck in the theatre again?
Y/n: I’ll break your legs Novak.
Dico: Awooooah she’s going back to her roots.
Bam: Have you reached your quota for humping dudes and now have to go back to the ones you’ve already nailed?
Y/n: You guys are such pricks, I am single everyone!
Novak: Available but still won’t bang me.
Y/n: Yup.
Bam: Well anyways I think we should dedicate this next song to Y/n’s new and old boyfriend Mr Ryan Dunn who still won’t come on this fucking radio show.
Y/n: For good reason and he’s not my boyfriend.
Bam: This is Bloodhound Gang, Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo or just FUCK which is what you guys will be doing later on Sirius 28 Faction!
Dico: They’re gonna fuck on air?
End.
@pontiusbikini @dxckfarmdunn @steve-osahottie @gnarkillknoxville @alex-abn0rmal @stratossphere @izzaaaaaa @jackassvivalabam03 @bambammargera @spoookyberry @lovexjoe @jackussy420
86 notes
·
View notes