#queerphobia ment

[emdotcom]

We're not doing the bi lesbian/pan lesbian label gatekeeping shit again. Shut the fuck up.

"But it's hurting lesbians!" Only a privileged fool thinks including more people is the same as oppressing another group.

"But that term doesn't make sense!" So? It doesn't have to make sense to you, or to anybody else. It just has to make sense to the people who uses it.

"But it's just made up!" So is the entirety of language. These scribbles I am typing out are made up. The meanings behind those scribbles, the sounds associated with them, & the meaning all those sounds & scribbles have in conjunction is made up. Every single identity & term is made up. It's all made up.

"But I don't like it!" This isn't about you. Learn to close your tiny bitch lips, 'kay?

"But attraction to--" Literally stop.

Ask yourself why you care, or how it could possibly hurt you. Does this matter?

These terms are old, older than you. How people decide to use them now is down to that individual.

You do not get to decide what that label means. If you want to know, look into it's history, or talk to somebody that has used that identity. You don't get to dictate what those words mean for every person, let alone who can or can't use them.

The queer community is a community. That means there will be people doing & saying things you've never seen or heard of before. They are still one of us. They are still a part of our community. You do not need to understand them down to their finest detail.

#positivity #bi lesbian #queer #gale chatter #this goes for every single identity people complain about btw they're all my family shut up #i hope somebody clowns on this post it is sooo easy to block. my block list is so hungry for some dumbasses to walk into my ant lion pit #queerphobia ment #discourse #discourse ment #goooood morning! #gatekeeping ment

[lilacs-stash]

Like logically there's a lot bigger problems in my life caused by my parents being queerphobic but the fact it's keeping me from going to see S2 EP15 is currently the one pissing me off the most

#queerphobia ment #object posting

[oc-aita]

Aita for staying quiet while knowing my parents would be murdered?

(authors note: if any of this sounds cliché or anything, it's probably because this story was built specifically on stereotypes and stuff. Like the whole point was making stereotypes. Also sorry if I infodumped here I'm really bad at not infodumping)

I ([undecided age, 13-16]F) am an angel from the royal family (AKA god bloodline). I'm quite sure my brother ([14-17]M) is kinda um... evil? He's like super power hungry. Oh also misogynistic, queerphobic, racist, ya know a piece of shit really.

He keeps up this "cute innocent little boy" appearance around pretty much everyone, and honestly the only reason I found out he was such a bigot was when I accidentally stumbled upon some notes and journal entries he left on his desk about his real thoughts and how he's nothing like what everyone thinks he's like and also killing our parents (the god and goddess) by poisoning their drinks at the next party (we have regular parties once a month to keep everyone entertained). So I kind of freaked out when I saw that.

He apparently wanted to kill them since he was next in line to become god. Which is not good considering his main goal seems to be to start multiple wars with the demons and kill them all (which btw like half of us angels are super racist against them for being evil or whatever but I know most of them are chill) and then slowly force all of the angels to become his slaves.

Now, I figured I should probably tell someone, like my parents, about how my brother wants to kill them. But then I realized he has a lot of power over me, since he's physically stronger, quite literally has more power over me (something something boys and men in the god bloodline have more power than girls and women, I don't know why that's still a rule in our supposedly not-misogynistic world), and has evidence to get me executed because he's caught me multiple times hanging out at the border between heaven and hell (thank goodness he doesn't know my girlfriend is a demon. Or that I'm dating a girl for that matter)

Anyway so I stayed quiet and didn't say anything out of fear that my brother would get me executed if I did. And you can probably guess what happened, mom and dad died.

I still feel super bad about knowing it was going to happen and not doing anything about it. Idk maybe I was just being selfish :( I mean I guess getting myself killed in order to stop my brother from being in power would have been better? But then mom and dad wouldn't believe me because of the fact that they'd know I was hanging out near the demon's territory, so then they'd get killed, and my brother would still be in power... But also what if mom and dad had believed me and managed to stop him before he could do anything?? aaaa this is so complicated :((

#original character #am i the asshole #aita #murder tw #queerphobia ment #racism ment #misogyny ment

[moonpool-system]

Oh my I get You. Whenever someone tries to assume that all the people with dyed hair are... This boils my blood inside. This is so stupid opinion to assume that everyone with x hair color is worse or evil or something. I heard so unbelievable stereotypical opinions of protrump conservatives about those people that my ears were bleeding ( metaphorically)

I'm sorry that this still happens

You get it anon 🤝 Yeah it's messed up. Especially since for us, dying our hair has the epitome of gender euphoria for us! So many of us are nonhuman or such and we just can't express that without getting a little weird with it. Like godsdamn, yeah we do sure have blue hair and pronouns, our gender often correlates with our synesthesia, can't anybody be normal about that?? /rhetorical

#prism #queerphobia ment

[neopronouns]

~clears throat

Hope this isn't too much so sorry in advance

genderfaean + genderfaunan term pls: when genderfluidity never encompasses male genders unless it's mixed with female genders & never encompasses female genders unless it's mixed with male genders (not necessarily genderfloran bc this term would be focused on "oposites" ex: being fluid between a feminine man & a masculine woman; and not focused on neutrality) It's more about being genderfaean & genderfaunan at the same time than about being fluid between androgynous genders ya know. If you could base the flag off of your version of the genderfaean and the genderfaunan flags and then make an alt flag for those who like (and are comfortable with) the following flags -> the first 3 stripes of the gendertulip flag – colour white in the middle – plus the first 3 of the genderlotus flag (other names for genderfaean and genderfaunan I found or so I think...) like darker to lighter then lighter to darker, I'd appreciate it! I would make this 2nd one meself but I suck in flag making. They could be named whatever but it would be cool if it remained within the flower theme. And also, if you'd be so kind, could you coin a libra- term with 2 flag options, one for each version of the previous request you make? Thx

CW: the og coiner of genderlotus and gendertulip is panphobic and against mspec lesbians but I reclaim the flags cuz they are pretty and I couldn't care less as a mspec lesbian about queerphobics thinking they own shit

queued!

genderlotus and gendertulip are actually slightly different from genderfaean and genderfaunan (lotus/tulip don't mention feminine or masculine genders, only female and male genders, while faean/faunan do), so rather than make it an alt flag i just coined a separate term.

#i don't care about coining terms based on queerphobic assholes' terms unless they like. harass me lol. or ask people specifically not to #long post #queerphobia ment #anti mspec lesbian ment

[just-antithings]

So why do some queer content creators disagree with xenogenders? Isn’t it another term for non-binary?

tw discussion of white supremacy

Short answer 1: they're exclus

Short answer 2: they're assimilationist queers who think if we can make ourselves palatable enough to The CisHets(tm), they'll be accepting. (I cannot stress enough that these people are wrong. The CisHets(tm) want zero queer people to exist, not just "the queer people they can stomach")

Long answer: a fuckton of western queer people hold bigoted internal beliefs because of being raised at the whims of white supremacy. They have not been made to challenge their internal biases and the moment these biases are challenged, in white cis queers especially, they react negatively to the Thing Making Them Uncomfortable to make the icky feeling its giving them go away.

Because that's like, the thing, right, with bigots and ableists and racists and queerphobes and antis and radfems and terfs and exclus: their solution to being made uncomfortable by something is to try and make that thing not exist, so they don't have to feel like that. After all, they can't be subjected to gross icky feelings if there's nothing around to prompt the icky feeling. It's why some bigots say they don't care "as long as they don't have to see".

Now, obviously, the healthy way of dealing with something prompting a bad feeling inside you is to. Work through that feeling. It's entirely unreasonable to demand something or someone not exist because the existence itself or just seeing that it exists makes you uncomfortable.

But that's how these people deal with it, because under white supremacy you are taught things are always someone else's problem. I'm not fucking joking - we are taught that. It's why people who have never had their worldview or authority challenged (cishet white men) deal so spectacularly badly with suddenly encountering those things. White supremacy thrives on everything being the fault of "some other guy" - the marginalized group of choice changes based on the situation and circumstances. (Which is, to be clear, super fucked up and not something I'm making light of.)

People hate on xenogenders because they're ignorant about what xenogenders are (gender related to concept of thing other than male/female ie catgender is experiencing ur gender in a cat-like way, your gender being Cat, etc & can get highly specific) and instead of trying to get educated center themselves, their own experiences with more traditional genders and gender roles, and their misguided fears that being "too queer" will make The Cishets(tm) not accept us. (They're not gonna accept us til we make them.)

Also while supremacy teaches us its okay to put aside our morals and ethics if there is an acceptable target (applies to more traditional bigotry too like racism yes. Good church going people who would never dream of saying something like that to a "normal" person because their "morals" forbid it but morals are a hat you can take off sometimes, see?). The modern internet is New Rome and everyone participates in the blood sport at the coliseum.

And no, they're not just the same thing as nonbinary.

#white supremacy mention #tw white supremacy mention #op is writing from an americentric perspective and did its best to make that clear in the post #mod seraphim #tw terf ment #tw racism ment #tw queerphobia ment #tw radfem ment #tw ableism ment #tw christianity ment #ive been back for 2 hours have an essay ig

[narconfessions]

hiya thx making for your blog ~

if i could, i wanna confess this. my mother is generally terf-y and queerphobic, and lately i've been thinking to myself that i'd be better off if she was just dead sooner rather than "eventually, whenever she does naturally." she's got her fancy-job money and her fancy-job health care so she'll live to be fckin 90 ... this leads me to thinking "well, shit, that means i'm actually better off killing her myself, then i'd get her out of my life as soon as i want!!!1" it's just a thought, not a plan. and I for one think it's good that i thought it, cuz it conveys how terrible she makes me feel and how terrible she's treated me - forcing me in the closet and grooming me to be a people-pleaser and depend on her financially and so on... so, lol die ma! i guess this is all just to say sometimes ""terrible thoughts"" are a result of terrible treatment. not absolving my responsibility, but for me it's helped to see the cause-and-effect behind it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oh yeah, i’ve felt like this about my abusive parents before too. thinking these kinds of things can be massively helpful in many cases, and i’m really sorry that your mom has been so horrible to you :/ i wish bad parents didn’t exist. childhood should never have to be something you recover from.

#npd #npd safe #actually npd #actuallynpd #aspd #aspd safe #actually aspd #actuallyaspd #tw terf mention #terf mention #tw queerphobia #tw abuse #abuse ment #abuse mention

[secretlyamess]

“i’m… captain, i’m tired…” resonated with me

when i first heard it.

i thought it was cause i was burnt out.

i was going through it…

barely keeping my head above water

tired of having everything thrown at me and the hits

never

stopped

coming.

but when i did finally have a chance to catch my breath

when i had a chance to slowly start repairing me

that’s when i realized

no, the relation was permanent.

the tiredness was a part of me.

will be a part of me forever.

i’m tired

i’m tired of not being enough.

i’m tired of hollow sentiments

thanking people who weren’t there

thanking people who weren’t supportive

telling white lies to protect myself

having to remember the lies.

being pushed aside

overlooked

becoming the scapegoat

tired of it all.

tired of feeling like i’m drowning.

tired of people that i’m supposed to feel safe with

showing me i’m unsafe

in this environment.

the conservative talking points.

the queerphobia.

the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

the 8:30 am celebration of my rights being

ripped from me and others like me.

i’m… captain, i’m tired.

but i don’t have a captain

who

doesn’t

give

up

on

me.

#ash's writing #ash vents #ash rambles #maybe i just wanna vent #ash rants #ment of queerphobia #vague self hatred?

[plutos-flags]

neoAGAB update

Personally Assigned Birth Gender and BirthGenderPunk flags

-= color meanings =-

sky blue - perisex trans/non-binary people

plum - visibly intersex people

grape - non-visibly intersex people

coral - community and solidarity between all neoAGAB users

-

dark magenta - feminist/anti-sexism and acknowledgment of how AGAB is often used to uphold patrilogical ideals and stereotypes, effects childcare/child safety in these regards, etc

dark purple and indigo - intersectionality surrounding AGAB such as medical queerphobia, ableism and anti-queer history involving intersex people, etc

cyan - acknowledgement of the medical neglect and malpractice that often stems from the sexism, queerphobia, racism, and ableism the modern medical field was founded on

light blue - solidarity with other punk movements such as medpunk, queerpunk, and transanarchism

-= notes =-

when i made my initial neoAGAB post, i had defined Personally Assigned Birth Gender (PABG) as "someone who either rejects their AGAB in favor of one they prefer, doesn't wish to disclose their AGAB for whatever reason, or simply doesn't find the concept of AGAB to be important/relevant enough to care and choose their own". i still stand by this definition for PABG; however, i will be adding a new one for BirthGenderPunk (BPG).

BirthGenderPunk is, as the name implies, a punk identity is opposition of assigned birth genders. one can have many reasons for doing so, whether they're intersex or perisex. this includes but is not limited to:

being visibly intersex and coerced into choosing either male or female and having "corrective" medical procedures done as result

being chromosomally, hormonally, or otherwise not visibly intersex and not finding out until much later, possibly suffering medical/social/etc problems/hardships as a result

being transgender, non-binary, xenogender, etc as not identifying with your AGAB for any reason

being transgender, non-binary, xenogender, etc and having personal conflict with one's AGAB

recognizing that along with gender itself, AGAB is also a concept and shouldn't be as prioritized as it is in society as well as the systemic issues it attributes to

etc etc etc

with all this said, i would like add that this isn't an "attack" on terms such as female/male and AFAB/AMAB. female and male are biological terms. PABG and BGP are specifically about gender and AGAB, gender being a sociological construct. many people like myself have issue with AGAB because of how it's pushed both by society and the medical field.

many intersex people are either not acknowledged as intersex or are operated on w/out their consent to appear as perisex, despite the possibly very fatal risks of doing so. not to ment. that many perisex people also feel uncomfortable with the concept of AGAB because of the societal expectations often tied to their AGAB, how AGAB is treated as a second binary along with gender and how that affects trans/non-binary people, etc etc etc.

-= end =-

these terms are free to use w/out permission. if reposted or shared off-site, please link back to this post and credit me.

disclaimer ;; i did not create the concept of neoAGAB nor do i know who did. these are my terms inspired by it, in collaboration with the neoAGAB community.

#pluto's flags #flag post #term coining #neoagab #neo agab #mogai #liom

[a-little-revolution]

Hey ! the trans parent again haha, my name is Clá by the way ! I see you have answered a question about the way the medical field treated and treats you as a little people and I would love to know your thoughts about the treatment currently available to "cure" acondroplasia. If you have not heard of it, it has been authorized months ago in the US, and some other countries as well. It is for children from age 5 to 16 and it's a daily injection ment to increase the hight (in priority) but it may reduce certains health issues due to acondroplasia. All the project was created by an able cis white woman who saw a documentary about little peoples on TV. Personally I feel like it's an abomination to wants to "cure" acondroplasia and to put a child into such heavy procedure to normalize their body, but in the meantime I know that some things like chronic pain or surgeries among other things can be difficult to experience and I would really love to know you point of view on that matter. Thank you so much !

Hello there Cla!

We know from fascism, queerphobia, and the medical model of disability that "cure"-based mindsets are rooted in bigotry and eugenics. Aiming to get rid of an entire group of people is not the solution - building a world that accepts and accommodates them is.

I for one feel that looking to "cure" dwarfism is a waste of resources. I'd much rather that time and money be spent towards treating what comes along with the disability (arthritis, hearing loss, joint issues, etc.) and in expanding on universal design and accessibility.

Not to mention, the treatment you've described sounds painful and extensive. You'd be fighting against bone formation for your entire life, and that's bound to come with a whirlwind of side affects. I would gladly take my disability over fighting against my body's natural formation for eternity.

We will never be able to get rid of disability - it is a natural part of the human journey and design.

Instead of looking for a cure, embrace and embower disabled body-minds - it is the key to human liberation.

-Elliot (they/them)

#asks #dwarfism #medical model #disability

[stargazing-enby]

I saw your post about gatekeeping. What does that mean? (Genuine question, im just a baby queer sorry if i offended)

Hi! Not offended at all, it's okay to not know 💜

Several people have asked the same question in the notes of that post through the years, so if you scroll through the notes you'll find some interesting discussions about it. People have also shared their stories and how gatekeeping has affected them, if you want to check those out.

The Urban Dictionary defines gatekeeping as follows:

When someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity.

Gatekeeping is a very broad term. There are people who gatekeep fandoms, minorities, communities, interests... Someone who tells you you're not a “true fan” of a music band unless you can name all their albums is a gatekeeper, for example.

I'd say there are many ways to define the gatekeeping of the queer community in particular. Here are some definitions I can come up with:

The act of trying to decide or sentence who has a right to identify as queer or as any particular label under the queer umbrella.

The act of accusing an individual of not being queer (or any other label) enough, or of faking their identity.

The act of claiming a person does not deserve access to queer spaces, accommodations or healthcare (eg. gay bars, pride parades, hormone replacement therapy, certain sets of pronouns, terms such as butch and femme, etc).

The act of sentencing which labels belong to the queer community and which don't. Typically, people will say “only LGBT”, “only LGB” or even “only LG” people are part of the community, and they'll reject other groups of people (trans, nonbinary, pansexual, asexual, aromantic...) from the community. Sometimes, people will go as far as to state some or all of these identities aren't real, or are just an attempt by straight people to invade a community that isn't theirs. These are usually the same people who reject the very word queer, and who feel entitled to knowing which other labels a queer person fits into so they can judge whether that person belongs in the community.

At its core, gatekeeping in the queer community is a form of discrimination. And it's discrimination that typically comes from within the community. It can be motivated by different things. For example, some people desire to earn the acceptance and respect of people outside the community, and they believe they can earn that privilege by siding with them against the “weirder” or “less acceptable” queer people. They essentially punch down to try to move up the social ladder. This kind of attitude and behaviour is usually referred to as respectability politics. Other people gatekeep because of the way they understand their identity (often deeply rooted in internalised queerphobia). For example, some trans people believe their transness is a diagnosable physical illness, and only trans people who experience dysphoria are actually trans. These people usually feel threatened by others using the same label as them when their experiences don't match. They feel like others are doing queerness “wrong”. 

There are many different forms of gatekeeping, and yes, they are alive and well today, especially on social media. There are forms of gatekeeping specific to virtually every single label within the queer umbrella. From “real gay men don't need to wear rainbows for people to know they're gay” to “the only real lesbians are the ones who've never liked men or been with men” to “asexual people are just traumatised or immature, everyone grows out of that” to “real trans people feel dysphoria, everyone else is just a trender” to “bisexual/m-spec people in straight relationships are basically just straight”. That's just scratching the surface. But the core message is always the same: that there are “real” queer people, and then there are people who are falsely claiming to be queer and, in doing so, harming the community.

This kind of mentality has caused a great amount of pain to many people. People spend years in the closet or in denial, too scared to even question their gender or sexuality in fear of invading a community they don't belong to, because what if they turn out not to be queer? People feel too terrified to try out labels and pronouns for fear they don't deserve to use those words for themselves. People genuinely believe they aren't suffering enough to deserve to transition or to end a relationship or to try dating a different gender. People silence their own voices, make themselves small and quiet, and apologise for their own identities because they genuinely believe they aren't queer enough to deserve to take up space in the community, or they aren’t queer in the correct way. 

I used to feel this way myself. I used to feel like, even though I was nonbinary, I didn't deserve the trans label or to speak up about my experiences because I'd be talking over “real” trans people who deserved to be heard more than me. The vast majority of the queer people I’ve talked to have had to overcome (or are still struggling with) feelings of shame, guilt, doubt, fear, denial or self-hatred because of the messages they’ve received about the “right” way to be a certain identity. There have been many cases of online harassment and abuse toward people who weren’t deemed queer enough by gatekeepers, or who were accused of doing queerness wrong. 

That's why it's so important to question gatekeeping when you come across it. If you see someone trying to claim a label is harmful to the community, or a person is faking being queer, or there are certain queer people who are just “too gross” or “too weird” or “too cringy” to deserve respect; if you see someone trying to instil fear about people “invading” the community, ask yourself why those people are making these claims. What's their goal? What do they gain by making these statements? Who and what are they trying to protect?

I hope this helps. If anyone else wants to add any information or share their personal experiences on this post, please feel free to do so. I hear you. 

#Ask #Queer #LGBTQ #Lgbtqia #Anti gatekeeping

[neopronouns]

wait mogaipedia was anti-mogai?? i mean i probably should have known considering. gestures at it. but i thought it was legitimately archiving terms and i found terms i liked through it

yeah mogaipedia was run by a cis transmed in her late 20s who was dedicated to archiving mogai terms solely to mock their existence. that's why the site used categories like 'fancy ways to say you don't know what you're talking about' and 'did you mean [simpler term]' and why a lot of articles featured grossly queerphobic (and often also racist, ableist, etc.) poems tearing down the terms. while her tumblr was still active, she would often reblog people's terms mocking them and siccing her awful transmed followers on them.

#anti mogai ment #transmed ment #transphobia ment #queerphobia ment #racism ment #ableism ment

[cepheusgalaxy]

T h i n k i n g a b o u t the horror au

Cws: self harm ment, queerphobia, ableism, misoginy and racism mentions.

Im still gonna go with that route but I think I wanna get those concepts ive talked about and turn them into analogies

"God forbid a [insert minority group here] be angry"

Its a line i see sometimes and honestly, i think its true. If you are a part of a minority group, may it be queer, black, asian, muslim, woman, disabled, neurodivergent, or whatever it is, people dont want us getting mad. They take us to our limit and then demonize our anger. See, a black person mad? Violent. A woman? Histeric. A trans person? """"""Delusional"""""". A disabled person? "Negative and dreadful >:(".

Going back to the horror au, Megan's thing is that hes being kept captive by a scientist who wants to turn him into a horror monster. It doesn't work since they defeat him first, but Megan is left with outbursts of strong feelings and goes Feral mode sometimes :) i think if i can change it a bit, i can get it to be a metaphor for Anger. Hes been through a lot, and now hes Angry. Its "monstruous" tho. He avoids it. He even goes as far as self harming to keep himself from going Feral Mode. He does it for the comfort of others. Yes it may be violent, and he does need to find a better way to cope than just self sacrificing and harming himself just because its better for others :) but its Ok to be angry. Ofc tho, im gonna have him learn this the hardest way :)

#my wips #horror au #megan oc #anyways just rambles #whump #au tag

[anti-abuse-culture-is]

Queer antiship culture is despising when proshippers use their identity to justify their horrific actions, or call you queerphobic because of it.

.

#antiship #antiproship #antiproship-culture-is #mod klug #submission #queerphobia ment #ask to tag

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

I'm sorry, but it's just so ironic to see someone with "fag" in their blog name complaining about the word queer. Like idk where they're from, but I've seen and heard that used negatively so much more.

RIGHT kandkajskdajd

Like I know there are plenty of places in the world where that word isn't used that way. But hooooo boy is that so not the case where I come from. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been called queer as a slur. I however could not even begin to estimate how many times fag, gay, lesbian/lesbo, etc. were all used as slurs at my schools throughout elementary, middle, and especially high.... like, pal... friend... ...please... lmao

#queerphobia m #queerphobia #queerphobia mention #queerphobia ment #discourse #prow lime

[lesbianraggedyanne]

idk watching super drag is fun bc they were like "fuck it. yes we ARE special for being queer, and it's super magical and people want it so bad even when they hate us, but yknow what we're not gonna be stopped because we're still here and everywhere" and i fuckin loved it

#queerphobia ment #homophobia ment #super drags #jasper speaks