we cant be in love. You don't know me! you don't know my deepest darkest secrets and you'll hate me when you know. That's right. That's right. I like how popcorn ceilings look. I'm sorry it had to end this way *walks off into the sunset as you stare at me in HORROR*
yesterday my friend told me that those shitty plaster popcorn ceilings are specifically for sound dampening - and like, hey, wait, yeah, that makes so much damn sense, what a cheap and easy way to stop the big flat resonant surface of a drywalled ceiling from simply echoing every sound in its vicinity - like, just sponge-paint that sucker with plaster? and it’ll just break up all the sound waves and scatter them? that’s it? okay all prior hot takes revoked, new fav ceilings
Idk why but every time I'm upset or cry, I end up laying down and inevitably opening my eyes to look up at the ceiling, which makes me even more mad cus I gotta look at some cottage cheese, popcorn texture and wonder why the FUCK that was ever a better option than just leaving it painted 😭
I know we have all been patiently waiting for news on my next home. The gorgeous (terribly painted and weirdly laid out) home I am in love with has had more twists in the path to ownership than I originally hoped. I don’t know what kind of mafia boss the current owner owes money to, but the amount of hornswoggling going on had better be a matter of life and death. First, the home gets posted at $OBSCENE PRICE$ and then we put in an offer at $Moderate Price$. Now they are posting again at $Really not much more than Moderate Price$. BUT because they took so long to become reasonable we can now only afford to pay $likely distasteful price$ for the home. Based on their previous choosiness I just really don’t think they’re going to be thrilled to hear from us again. But thus are the fruits of theirn stubbornity.
Interestingly enough (or maybe only interesting to us that have rooms full of red string and big dreams), I learned what improvements they made that allowed them to indulge the idea of overpricing their home by $200,000. They screened in the upstairs balcony. An absolutely excellent use of funds and mesh. They also scraped all the popcorn off the ceiling. I can only imagine this was a great undertaking since they seem to be including emotional damages in their pricing equation. Perhaps they had named and developed a real attachment to a particularly perky bit of pop in the living room. Now as they walk through the house to survey the smooth ceiling rooms there is a pang of remembrance, a slight dampness to eye, and the vague melody of Auld Lang Syne.
For those of you counting at home (it me) that is total of ~$20,000 spent on improvements (and I think that’s probably hugely generous). Plus an additional $666 for the exorcism of lingering pop spirits. So after improving their home’s value by a staggering $20,666 the owners looked at the number and said to each other, “that’s good yes. But we must make Pop John Paul III’s sacrifice worth it. What would help you feel better, darling?” “Oh, I don’t know he was so very dear to me.” “How about another zero?” “Well, that hardly covers reinstalling popcorn ceilings in our new home, but I suppose it would help.” And thus was THIADTO priced.