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mellifluous-cosmos · 2 hours ago
My nickname? And also for the last book, Red White And Royal Blue uwu
Book rec: They both die at the end (exactly happens what the title says)
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popcornaustralia · 4 hours ago
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Superpop Group Pty Ltd. is one of the leading popcorn machine dealers. You can enjoy family time on weekends with your family with a bowl of popcorn. They have all types of popcorn machines with unique designs and sizes for every requirement. Choose the best popcorn machine as per your needs to grow your business. Contact us on (03) 8787 0999.
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weeklyhumorist · 11 hours ago
These Foods Could Be Killing You!
Movie theater popcorn
It’s not the huge amounts of artificial butter you need to worry about — it’s how sometimes the popcorn is actually just a huge bucket of popcorn-shaped rocks and/or cyanide capsules.
It only seems healthy. Most granola boxes hide a rogue, very troubled ex-NYPD detective who thinks everyone is the mysterious figure who killed his partner.
This sea creature is used in sushi and notoriously can be fatal — if the chef doesn’t cut it just right, they can puncture a poison pocket. Also, if the chef doesn’t cut it right and doesn’t finish the job, the pufferfish will cut them or you with its tiny but extremely sharp paring knife.
Its leaves are made up entirely of ninjas. How did you not know that? Because ninjas are really good at hiding.
Don’t eat the pit, also known as the stone. If you bite into it, that releases a horse of hungry zombies that want to eat your delicious brain.
Read the label: They aren’t technically potato chips, but rather potato “crisps.” They’re made up of a mixture of ground and dried potatoes, salt and flavorings, and dangerous, filter-less cigarettes.
According to experts, 1 in 20 tubs of commercially produced hummus contains a bloodthirsty shark. Hummus companies are not sure why.
Where does “rooster sauce” get its heat? From an active, burning grease fire.  An all-consuming, unquenchable fire that has no regard for feelings, never feeling mercy as it destroys all that which dares to sit in its path.
Regular soda
These don’t physically kill anybody, but the active ingredient of high fructose porn syrup is very detrimental to society, killing our innocence, chipping away at our collective morality, and promoting a poisonous and unrealistic idea of human sexuality.
There are far fewer truly deadly mushrooms than common knowledge dictates, but you should still avoid the Brown Impala variety. It closely resembles a common brown mushroom, but inside is a 1974 Chevrolet Impala, which lacks both seatbelts and airbags.
You probably know it’s poisonous and potentially fatal to dogs, but did you know a moderate dose can kill a human, too? It can if it’s the kind of chocolate filled with scarabs and scorpions placed there by the Curse of the Mummy.
Every so often you’ll encounter a banana with a switchblade and nothing to lose.
Comedy bananas 
You could slip on of them, fall, hit your dead, and die. Is it a hilarious way to go? Sure. But is it a deadly way to die? Absolutely.
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These Foods Could Be Killing You! was originally published on Weekly Humorist
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startingover2108 · 11 hours ago
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Dnd evening. Snacking on popcorn
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mazpacheco · 12 hours ago
tomorrow when the uswnt olys roaster is announced i’ll be here on tumblr like
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givemeanorigami · 13 hours ago
"Non puoi buttarla a ridere e chiedergli perché fischia sempre e solo a te?" "No! Se mi fischia un'altra volta, vado e gli dico che il fischietto può ficcarselo in culo" A parte che ho capito da chi ho preso la mia proverbiale calma ed eleganza a dire le cose, io il fatto che mio padre abbia iniziato una guerra passivo aggressiva con il bagnino dello stabilimento accanto a quello dove va lui, perché suddetto bagnino fischia sempre e solo a lui senza apparenti motivi logici la considerò il mio nuovo podcast estivo.
C'è azione, c'è mistero, c'è che per una volta queste situazioni tragicomiche non succedono a me.
(io, comunque, perché il bagnino dello stabilimento accanto a dove va PP fischia sempre e solo a lui, lo voglio capire).
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rarougrougrou · 13 hours ago
-faire un ciné concert ça te dirait ?
-ah oui ce serait sympa
Je pense que oui, nous voulons
Nous voulons tous
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rarougrougrou · 14 hours ago
-Est ce qu'on peut se tutoyer?
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morepopcornplease · 14 hours ago
“Smutfic” see, I’m confused/been debating the sinfulness of this for years. On one hand, no, we probably shouldn’t try to purposely be getting aroused outside of marriage I suppose. And lusting after real people is certainly bad, as is masturbation. But I don’t think reading a story about a couple doing sexual things is inherently evil? Otherwise, well, Song of Solomon.
To quote ole SC Justice Porter Stewart, I can’t describe porn definitively, but “I know it when I see it.”
Similarly, I cannot define the exact difference between erotica (smutfic) and a “sex scene that is written” but my line tends to be drawn over my own reactions to the source material.
Like yeah, “he put his thingy in my you-know-what and we did it” may technically be a sex scene, but it’s not exactly erotic 😂
And speaking of the Song of Solomon, has there *ever* been a lyric that made you think “this person has never seen a boob before” like the phrase: “Your two breasts are like two fawns / Twins of a gazelle”??
Like, erotic imagery this is decidedly not.
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xxxtwilightaxelxxx · 14 hours ago
Just booked my ticket to see Black Widow!!!!!! AT FUCKING LAST I AM GOING TO SEE THIS FILM!!!!
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I'm guessing I will be working the late on the 7th due to my supervisor being off Wednesdays and the other girl can only do 730 to 11. So I've booked it for Thursday (I'm a bit miffed I'm not seeing it say one but oh well lol) it's booked for 7pm, could have gone for 620 but there were ppl already booked for back middle and, I want to experience the first time I see it (I AM going to see it more than once lol, like seeing it in 3d one time would be cool, and if someone at work wants to see it) so I may get home much later than I expected but I know if I did the 620 one I'd be annoyed the ppl behind me got the spot I wanted lol but as long as I do an early that day it's all set and ready :D can't fucking wait!!!
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