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batterygarden · 11 months

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Train on a Train | ft. Aged up! Pro players! Seishiro Nagi, Yoichi Isagi, Meguru Bachira and Hyoma Chigiri

18+ MDNI

cw: fem & afab reader, explicit 5-some/orgy/train running, reader wears a skirt & lace panties & has hair which is gripped once, "princess" and "baby" pet names used, established relationship w Nagi, you and Nagi get sorta slutted out tbh, nagiri featured, bachisagi sorta featured (less seriously), borderline dubcon bc they don't ask reader if she's cool w everything although she is (i'll tag it), "pussy anytime pass" cashed in by Nagi lmao, semi-public sex, peeping toms, cuckolding, penetrative sex, oral (f + m recieving), face fucking, cum eating, some mlm oral/hand job in there, mult. orgasms & creampies, overstimulation, a little pussy inspection, a little dacryphilia, took many liberties w this like don't think about it too hard a/n: This is the most ridiculous fic I've ever written and It's also really special to me, pls enjoy the absurdities! I'd like to clarify that the train car I'm imaging for it is like the one in the header image--this is a huge and magical train they're in, okay. They have lots of space; this train layout does not make sense and I personally have not been on a train w a setup like this but I’ve seen it on tv / in movies so like. lol u just have to roll w it ! pls interact if ur into it and wanna talk ab bllk w me!! sending kissies. Thx for betaing bbg @millionsknife wk: 5.7 k!

“You’re heartless.”

Nagi’s voice is so serious and deadpan that you break focus from your book, and watch as his typical apathetic frown meets his eyes for a moment in a way that could fool any stranger into worrying.

But not you. He’s being subtle about it but you’re very familiar with Seishiro’s pouting routine—he’s upset you won’t surrender your phone for the last hour and a half of your train ride because somebody came unprepared with a low battery. His games were apparently more important than an ongoing text conversation with your friend!

“Am not, you big baby! Bring a charger next time.”

You don’t respond when he mumbles something about there not even being outlets under his breath, immediately re-engrossed in your story, ignoring his squirming and sighs.

You hear it when Nagi finally stills and drops his head against the window next to him, and he doesn’t even look at you when he speaks again.

“Whatever. ‘M using’ it now then.”

“You’re what?”

“My pass,” he pauses to yawn. “My free pussy pass or whatever.”

It takes you a second to even process his words. Then you wonder if he’s joking—sometimes with that blank-eyed stare it’s hard to tell.

“Sei, we’re on a train…?”

You didn’t think he’d use part of your valentines gift this way…truthfully you thought he’d forgotten about your little half-joke coupons you made him—he only ever cashed in the massage. He's never shown interest in public sex before… this is uncharted territory.

“Don’t care,” he sighs, his mouth twisting a little so his expression flashes mock sympathy. He pats his upper thigh.

“Hop on soldier.”

You laugh for a second and his lips twitch before he narrows his eyes at your hesitance, pouting openly this time.

“Come on. Was the pussy pass fake or something?”

You have to hold back another giggle. “Say pussy pass one more time.”

Your car’s door gets a lingering glance before you’re abandoning your book and phone, sliding carefully into his lap while he stares at you, looking deep in thought. You seize his pause as an opportunity to peck his lips—giving into him way too easily like always. You’re reminded of all your friends’ claims that you spoil him—suddenly certain they’re true when you feel his hands squeeze their way up your thighs till they’re under your skirt, the cool air hitting your ass in the middle of a public train.

“Well what else ‘m I supposed to call it?” He leans his head back against the wall, getting comfy in his seat while he kneads your hips atop him, feeling that the fabric of your panties is lacy.

You break your lips away from his neck where they’d drifted, glancing at the hall again before smiling at him.

“Just teasing. This is new though… will you watch the door? Otherwise I’ll be nervous.”

He nods for you, rubbing his thumbs reassuringly over your sides while his fingertips graze frilly straps.

He’s content just holding you like that a while longer, letting his eyelids droop while you work on his neck, but his fingers dig into your skin when he feels you bite.

“ow. what’s that for?”

He brings a hand up to clasp over the newly forming bruise on his pulse, eyes a little widened.

“A reminder to watch the door,” you say while you grind for the first time over his sweatpants, earning a sharp inhale. The real reason you sunk your teeth in is that Nagi’s annoying—about to get his dick ridden after throwing a tantrum over a phone battery. Classic Seishiro—everything comes too easy to him!

You wanna give him a harder time, you really wanna get bratty, but the feeling of Nagi’s hard dick against your panties has your brain short circuiting—especially when you notice his cute dilated pupils before he grinds up to meet your hips. Somehow those eyes have you programmed to do anything he asks—anything that’d please him would please you just as much.

So it’s after not long at all that your grinding turns rabid and you can’t wait any longer for him to be inside you. then you break away from his chest where you’d been clinging, hovering above him so you can take his cock out before spitting on it and giving a few impatient pumps.

Nagi’s a mess by this point, his bedhead even more disheveled than before and his cheeks rosy, his lips and neck looking red and abused. But your hand around his dick obliterates the last of his composure, now he’s squirming and whining and letting his eyes squeeze shut—forgetting to watch the door!!

You pause your stroking with a click of your tongue, pointing to the hallway when Nagi’s eyes open as a reminder. Then, in one practiced, fluid motion your panties are pulled to the side and Nagi’s stroked along your slit before sliding inside—stretching you open just right before you bottom out.

You have to still for a moment when you do, feeling Nagi’s fingers claw into your hips while his skull thuds against the wall behind him.

“Fuck.”

You adore Seishiro’s pussy drunk voice, how breathy and tired it sounds—how needy he turns. It has you gushing around him, wrapping your arms around his neck and squishing your bodies together till neither of you can move.

“Feel so good.” He whines, bucking into you on instinct, hitting your sweet spot with precision.

“Y-yeah?”

You love the eager way he nods in response—loving how Nagi seems to save whatever enthusiasm he has the energy to show for your pussy and your pussy only.

You roll your hips for him, starting a nice and gentle and merciful pace because you wanna give him a false sense of security before you start bouncing the way you like. Which is ruthlessly—Nagi’s sensitive and you enjoy nothing more than the process of absolutely ruining him.

The time you spend riding him slow and sweet ends sooner rather than later though; teasing Nagi is always a double-edged sword when you end up teasing yourself along with him. So it’s not long at all until the rock of your hips is interrupted and you’re letting your shoes slide to the ground, leaving just your socks while you shift your weight backwards onto your toes so you can use your feet to help you bounce hard the way you like. If Nagi was demanding train pussy, he’d have to take it how you want to give it.

Nagi realizes your intentions just a moment too late before you’re moving, squeezing him tight and fast and knocking the wind from his lungs.

He‘s never been great at censoring his moans—Seishiro can be dramatically vocal when he feels good, so you have to quickly silence him with your lips—swallowing every sound while he squirms like mad underneath you.

Every movement feels sweet—honestly, Nagi’s cock is maybe the most reliable thing about him—it never fails to hit exactly where it needs to. But if every movement is sweet for you, each slam of your hips is tooth rotting for seishiro—neither of you even notice the way his eyes are permanently closed in bliss—failing to watch your precious train door like he promised. He’s watching brain cells die behind his eyelids instead, his head turning fuzzy with each squeeze of your pussy—not even your lips can contain the volume of his whining.

He’s close, you can feel it in the way he’s twitching inside you, and you’re not far behind him. So you keep your hips bouncing in a nice rhythm—clinging onto him while he does the same to you, his fingers clawing your sides before breaking away from your kiss to throw his head back—it knocks against the wall again but he doesn’t complain, only squeezes his eyes shut while he cries out from borderline overstimulation—cumming what feels like endlessly inside you. It’s entirely too much when you clamp down on him, throwing your head back too while you cum with him—leaving him whimpering and teary-eyed.

“Fuuck s’too much, ba-wait I can’t—“

He’s cut off when you meet his lips again, riding out your high as gently as you can manage while Sei’s breaths slowly even out. Eventually his heavy eyelids peek open to find your head resting on his shoulder, looking up at his face.

Lovey little smiles are exchanged when your gazes meet—and you feel like your chest might explode from how heartfelt the moment suddenly feels as Nagi holds you close and you hold him closer, shoving unruly white hair from his eyes for him.

“Did you get good use out of your coupon, Sei?” You wonder with a teasing tone, tracing a finger along his shirt collar while he yawns, nodding. He looks like he’s about to say more, but it’s then that his eyes finally spare a glance for the aforementioned car door…

Where he finds Isagi, Chigiri and Bachira staring wide-eyed. Their expressions are varied from bachira’s amused little smile, playing with a red sucker between his lips, to Isagi’s tongue-in-cheek, brow-raised stare. Then there’s Chigiri—mouth slightly parted, eyes empty and his cheeks flushed. Nagi’s never seen that man blush before.

Nagi jumps the moment he notices them, before cursing under his breath, digging a knuckle into his eyes while he turns his head away.

You freeze at his actions—quick to gather that someone must have seen you but instantly too mortified to check the window and see who it was.

Japan’s team had rented out your section of the train for their next game so best case-scenario it was someone chill that you weren’t close with, maybe Hiori or Kurona, worst case-scenario it was Jinpachi Ego.

You don’t have the chance to speculate for long, because next thing you know, the door is sliding open and there’s more than one set of footsteps marching into your little train car. And you’re still stuffed full of Seishiro’s cock and you wanna cry.

You’re too frozen in embarrassment to move until you hear Nagi sigh, “This is so annoying—you guys are perverts, you know. Can’t you give a little privacy?”

He’s talking like it’s his friends standing behind you—the fact has you involuntarily clamping on him while you finally turn to check, clamping down again when Bachira waves at you and Isagi smiles all friendly. Seishiro squeezes your thigh when he feels you, groaning so quiet under his breath that you hope none of them can hear.

“We’re the perverts? You just got fucked in a public train with your teammates on the other side of the wall. It’s lucky it was us who heard you ‘n not our esteemed coach, don’t you think?”

It makes your head spin just hearing Isagi’s patronizing tone, but glancing at his expression makes you feel even stickier, his head tilted in faux concern and then his widened grin when you turn to meet his eyes.

You can’t help but find the look he gives you sort of… hot—you’d be lying if you said this whole situation wasn’t turning you on in some sick and twisted way. And Seishiro’s certainly handling it more calmly than you think most boyfriends would, letting the room fall quiet after Isagi speaks, his cheeks turning the faintest pink when he finally drops his eyes back down to you.

Another second of quiet and it would have been too uncomfortable to bear, but, unsurprisingly, Bachira breaks the silence.

He seems even less bothered by the car’s thick atmosphere than Isagi is, as he closes the gap to sit beside nagi, resting an elbow on his shoulder before pulling the sucker from his mouth with a pop. Where it felt like Isagi was only speaking to Nagi, Bachira seems to make you his sole focus when he asks, “think you can cum again, princess? Didn’t get a good view of your face the first time and I bet you’ll look soo pretty.”

You manage to grow even hotter at those words, you have to drop a cheek against Nagi to cool it, but you can’t bring yourself to look away from Bachira’s expression—it’s teasing and playful in a way that makes your insides fuzzy.

Before you can reply, you hear Isagi mumble from behind you, “bet you’ll feel so pretty too,” and with that you can’t hold back any longer from grinding down on sei’s quickly-hardened cock—trying to be as subtle as possible but unable to stop yourself—the lack of friction had been turning torturous.

And of course Nagi moans, all soft and sweet for you, gripping your hips before bucking upwards, his subtlety leaving much to be desired.

Something in the room shifts then, or maybe the tension breaks—at least for you. You’ve given up hiding how horny you still are.

Witnesses somehow only manage to turn you on more, the extra eyes make you feel desired, especially when you peek to see Bachira’s brows raised—he’s smiling, dimples out and everything, while his gaze falls to the edge of your skirt and your curled legs next to his. It takes minutes for you to be on the brink of cumming again, Isagi and Bachira only spurring you on with filthy words—

“Aww are you gonna get yourself off on Nagi again? Think I could make you feel even better.”

“Poor Sei’s gonna have an aneurysm, are you sure he can handle your little pussy for another round? Maybe you should give me a turn.”

Nagi can only pant and whine and take it beneath you—so drunk on your pussy he’s brain dead--the taunting from his teammates hardly even registers. Isagi’s quick to point out how gone he is from his seat across from you and when he does, Bachira’s giggling, brushing the sweaty hair from Nagi’s forehead and murmuring,

“If you don’t open your eyes, you’re gonna miss how cute your girlfriend looks while she fucks you.”

Isagi adds, “bet she can look even cuter. Megs you wanna take her shirt off? Looks like she isn't even wearing a bra.”

You’re so caught up in how it feels and how they sound that you don’t even notice till then that their cocks are out, stroked in their hands while you entertain them, leaving them panting softly between words. When you turn and look you notice that even Chigiri, who you’ve barely ever spoken with before, is groaning and palming himself through his shorts next to Isagi.

You’re on the brink of cumming and you sense Nagi is there with you—so preoccupied with how it feels that you barely notice Bachira tugging your shirt over your head, his sucker forgotten in its wrapper, till the cool air hits your nipples and you feel them hardening.You hear Isagi moan at the sight before you’re toppling over the edge again, spasming on Seishiro, feeling the burning gaze of the three around you while Bachira rubs your back. Nagi can’t help but cream inside you at the same time, twitching and whining—by the time he’s done you're exhausted.

The absurdity of the situation properly registers then, leaving you warm and embarrassed, but you aren’t done. Somehow you know you aren’t from the way Isagi’s eyes have been scorching your back. He doesn’t give you time to rest before he’s taking your hand in his, guiding you off of Nagi while you’re still pliant and stupid from cumming so hard.

All eyes are immediately fixed on how he spills out of you, white dripping down your thigh all the way to your knee when you stand.

“Sheesh Sei, look how messy you made her,” Bachira says, before he’s swiping cum off your leg and sucking it off his fingers. Your head spins. You feel like you must be dreaming.

“Sweet. You’re sweet, Sei, did y’know that?”

Seishiro’s brain’s still mush, his head resting lifelessly against the wall, but he manages to roll his face toward Bachira to glance at him, humming a no.

Bachira gets a glint in his eye when he turns to Chigiri, zoned out on Nagi’s face from the corner, and asks him “d’you wanna try, Chigiri? Ever tasted sweet cum before?”

Chigiri’s instantly pink, shaking his head almost shyly. You don’t expect it when you feel his long fingers glide up your inner thigh, dipping into your pussy before he takes them away to lick clean.

He speaks for the first time,

“You are sweet, Nagi.”

You think you see Nagi make a lazy little smile at that before you’re being molded by Isagi, onto your hands and knees across the leather seats that Chigiri’s sitting on. Your face is met with Chigiri’s massive bulge while Isagi gets positioned behind you, rubbing warm hands under your skirt to push it all the way up to your abdomen, leaving only your little lace panties that are stretched in the crotch and soaked.

“Gonna take her face, Hyoma?” Isagi asks while his fingers trace the frilly straps, sliding his way under them to rub your bare hips.

You take the time he spends inching the fabric lower to try and wrap your brain around Yoichi Isagi—the man who’s likely your closest friend on the team aside from Nagi. He’s always kept the atmosphere light and friendly when you’re involved—cracking jokes and relishing in your giggles, he’s always very kind and welcoming. It’s true you’ve always thought he was kinda cute—and it was clear those feelings were returned from the way he flirted with you, but you always assumed he was just laying your special treatment on a extra thick to fuck with Nagi. You didn’t expect he’d ever really be in your panties, that's for sure. But now he’s crossing the point of no return, helping slide them off completely and likely altering your dynamic permanently. Ah well… you don’t feel the motivation to stop him.

Chigiri breaks you out of your thoughts when he finally answers,

“Bachira can go first, he’s staring like a hungry animal right now.”

Bachira doesn’t need any further permission than that before he’s swapped spots with Chigiri, kneeling sideways on the seat so his cock is in your face—red and thick and leaking. You almost put him in your mouth immediately on instinct but then you’re glancing at Nagi on the bench across from you, gauging how he feels about this whole thing. He’s never been the jealous type, but talking to other men and sucking their dicks usually warrants different reactions.

He’s still looking exhausted but you notice right away his dick is somehow still hard- or maybe hard again. The corner of his mouth lifts a little when you meet his eyes, then lifts even more when he glances a few times between your face and Bachira’s cock.

His expression is confirmation enough, and next thing you know you’re licking up the pre that’s dripping down Bachira’s tip, squealing a bit when you feel Isagi run his fingers through your sensitive pussy at the same time, fingering you with his middle and ring finger till he has enough cum on his hand to rub his cock with, getting himself ready for you. The anticipation has you quickly struggling to focus on Bachira, licking him sloppily from base to tip a few times till he’s impatient.

“No, princess, it goes in your mouth.”

Bachira puts a thumb between your lips and gently pulls them open, guiding himself inside while you look up into his eyes. He looks… mischievous—his expression has your heart thumping unevenly, reminding you of how he looks when he plays soccer. And once his tip’s at the back of your mouth, his condescending smile gets even wider while he lets out a breathy groan, holding your eyes shamelessly while your tongue swirls around him, eventually glancing behind you at Isagi, who’s positioned his tip at your entrance.

You whine on Bachira’s dick when Isagi starts easing his way in, the new angle dragging against new places inside you, and Bachira furrows his brows at the feeling, twitching forward before holding himself back.

“Mmm I think ‘m gonna have to fuck your face.”

Nagi’s never done that before.

Your expression must show your hesitance because Bachira’s quickly stroking your head, trying but not quite succeeding in reassuring you all will be well while he looks behind you some more—eyeing Isagi who’s bottomed out inside you.

“It’ll be okay. Isagi and I’d only take the best care of Nagi’s sweet little girlfriend.” He says in a singsong voice, slowly easing his way deeper in your mouth.

“Wouldn’t give you anything you couldn’t take. I know you can handle us both, princess,” you hear Isagi add from behind while he rubs your lower back and sides.

You’re just thinking whatever they’re gonna do to you, they better do it fast because you can’t stand another moment without movement. So you answer them with a whine that’s meant to be encouraging.

From the sidelines of every game—especially as a non-soccer player, Isagi and Bachira’s relationship always appears… complicated. The way Nagi tells it, they used to often work as a unit, as a team even in blue lock, kinda like Nagi used to be with Reo. But… things got competitive. They’re friends, Nagi always says they're friends and they act like it off the field, but their dynamic always feels to you like it has a hidden layer most people are missing—whether it be rivalry or jealousy or maybe even some form of… infatuation.

And maybe it’s that hidden connection they hold that has them so in sync when suddenly, with no word or trigger you can perceive, Bachira and Isagi thrust out and in, beginning a steady matching pace while they fuck your pussy and throat. You’re left gagging and drooling from the sensation—it’s overwhelming to be so completely full, but somehow you more than bear it—after a few thrusts it’s even satisfying and you’re moaning and taking it and fast approaching another orgasm. If your mind was already hazy from Seishiro, your thoughts are a thick fog by this point, cleared of anything but physical touch—your boyfriend watching you from a foot away getting his cock stroked by Hyoma goes completely unnoticed.

Something you do come around for, though, is Bachira’s downright erotic panting growing louder by the second, paired with the bruising grip Isagi’s got latched around your waist that tightens with every stroke, eventually one of his hands lifting to link fingers with Megs. Their growing enthusiasm while they fuck you can only be perceived for a moment before you’re coming undone again, wave after wave of intense and all-consuming pleasure washing over you till you can’t keep your eyes open. You can’t hear or see by the peak of it, only feeling as two cocks drill and pound you harder than you’ve possibly ever experienced. You almost choke when suddenly Bachira’s creaming in your mouth towards the end, shooting ropes of hot cum down your throat but refusing to pull out so you have no choice but to swallow. It’s not long after that you feel heat flood your pussy too, filling you like a donut for the third time in the past hour.

You almost collapse on the seat then, but luckily you’re caught around the middle by Isagi, who lays you down gently while he uses some mysterious cloth to mop up the mess between your legs—likely a shirt from Nagi’s backpack.

You’re a wreck by this point, but feeling thoroughly satisfied as you lay and let your eyes adjust to the scene around you, one that involves Chigiri kneeling in front of your boyfriend and sucking him completely dry while Seishiro buries his face in the crook of his arms, squirming the way you know he does when he’s about to cum. He moves his arms towards the end to glance at Chigiri, then he’s meeting eyes with you, and his expression morphs into one of his rare, adoring faces.

He moves his mouth like he’s about to say your name but then he’s cumming again, his nose wrinkling all cute while his hands go to Chigiri’s hair, holding it from his face while Chigiri’s head bobs at a steady rhythm. Eventually Nagi’s pulling Chigiri off, using his hair like a handlebar and whining “s’too much Hyoma, s’enough...”

…

Seishiro… your boyfriend… you just watched him get his dick sucked by his teammate. The scene of it all has you reeling because- how should you feel about that? Not mad—certainly not when you just got fucked by two cocks at once before his eyes and liked it. But is it okay that the image had you feeling… good? That you’re turned on by the thought of Nagi’s teammates taking good care of him—especially the idea that they might when you’re not even there. As a matter of fact you hope Nagi’s friends suck his dick for him when you can’t make it to a faraway game, you’d be more worried if he wasn’t being doted on by someone in your place—that realization has you surprised with yourself.

When he finally opens his eyes after coming down from his high, you’ve scooted back to his bench next to him, hugging yourself to his side and smoothing the bangs from his forehead before dotting his face in light kisses.

“Did that feel good?” Your voice sounds like an angel.

He nods, his eyelids even heavier than before, wrapping an arm around your back and pulling you against his chest, cheek falling against your head.

Hyoma, who’d sunk against Nagi’s other side chuckles lightly, mumbling a soft “I’m glad,” while adjusting the front of his shorts.

Seishiro’s sitting like his body is heavy, his boxers lazily tucked over his dick so even his clothes make him look thoroughly ran through. Still, he finds the energy to lift his head and look pointedly at Chigiri and his apparent boner, pursing his lips like he’s debating something.

Chigiri’s voice is breathy and seductive when he asks “Wanna help me out, Sei?”

The nickname sounds almost out of place spoken from Hyoma’s lips, you get the feeling he’s only ever referred to Nagi by his surname up until now. It honestly makes your thighs rub together thinking about their newfound closeness.

You watch as Seishiro nods for him, spitting in his hand once Chigiri finally takes his cock out.

You have to work to pick your jaw up off the floor when he does—who would have expected that Hyoma Chigiri’s absolutely hung. His cock is blushing and pretty and huge—precum spilling from its tip once Nagi carefully wraps a hand around its base, stroking testingly.

Chigiri moans the kind of moan you knew he’d make—one that’s pretty like the rest of him, wrapping a hand around Nagi’s to squeeze himself tighter.

“‘Sagi, you should do that to me,” your eyes follow Bachira’s voice across from you, him and Isagi seem to be fighting over who can manspread the most on the bench space. You notice Isagi’s eyes lingering on you, curled against Nagi with just your sorry excuse for a skirt still on—it’s riding up so high he’d see everything if you just opened your legs.

“No fucking chance, Megs.”

“Maybe if I beat you next one on one?” Bachira murmurs, a teasing tone to his words.

Isagi ignores him, staring you down while he wets his lips, eventually meeting your gaze while a warm smile takes over his face. You notice then that he has another hard-on in his basketball shorts.

“Hey princess, think you could give me head? We could give Hyoma somethin’ to watch? And I bet Bachira’d eat you out—he loves eating other guys’ cum.”

Bachira throws a hard shove at Isagi’s shoulder that leaves Isagi wincing, but then he smiles at you all big and feral.

“I am dying to taste that magic pussy of yours. Seems like it puts everybody in a trance.”

You know the logical answer would be to decline, you know your body is on the brink of collapse, but then Nagi’s looking down on you with his blank eyed stare, and his pupils are huge again. He pecks your forehead before whispering,

“C’mon baby, give us somethin’ to watch.”

Due to your Sei-pleasing programming, and the wetness between your legs Isagi’s eyes bring, you can’t say no.

So you end up back on the Eiffel Tower bench, back on your hands and knees, but this time your skirt’s finally been removed and Isagi’s cock is by your face while Bachira kneels behind you, inspecting your swollen pussy.

You shiver when you feel his warm fingers spread you apart, tracing your folds while his mouth waters, the atmosphere accentuated by Chigiri’s moans and sighs along with the gentle slaps from Nagi’s hand.

You’re just placing the first kitten lick on Isagi’s tip when Bachira places both hands on your ass, spreading you open with his thumbs this time before finally licking a long stripe through your center.

The feeling has your back arching, whining before you take Isagi fully in your mouth, letting him gag you while Bachira flattens his tongue against your clit. The room’s quickly filled with whining and moaning and heavy breathing—thankfully nobody seems to be in the car next door anymore because you’d be heard immediately.

You should have known from the eccentric way Bachira acts to the fact his tongue’s lolling out of his mouth half that time that he’d be good at giving head—but somehow you didn’t anticipate how electric he’s making you feel, alternating fucking you with his tongue and suctioning under the hood of your clit—his every action feels intense. And he’s vocal too—slurping and groaning on you, his fingers almost certainly leaving bruises on the skin of your ass and upper thighs where he holds you open with an unyielding grip.

The feeling Bachira’s tongue is giving you only transfers to Isagi’s dick, because you’re moaning on it—frantically taking him as deep as your throat can go as some kind of outlet for the hot pleasure you’re experiencing in your core.

You’re not sure if somehow all of this fell under Isagi’s master plan, because he is fucking estatic—gripping the wall and your hair, perfectly dominating in his tone while he talks you through the whole thing. Using words like, “there you go, princess,” and “mmh think your mouth was made for my cock,” while moaning all deep and pretty in a way you didn’t expect.

Every sense you have is sexually charged, and it takes almost no time for you to be coming undone again almost painfully this time. By now you’ve lost count how many orgasms you’ve been given, but this one stands out as the harshest—leaving you choking on Isagi while fat tears stream down your cheeks, your body twitching on Bachira’s unrelenting mouth. He licks up your release like a man starving—lapping deep inside you till your vision is spotty and you worry you’ll never be able to think straight again.

You can hardly register the feeling of Isagi cumming in your mouth, swallowing everything he gives with empty-headed obedience. Isagi and Bachira catch you when you collapse this time, laying you gently on the bench so your head’s on Isagi’s lap, mumbling how they’re scared they might have put you in a coma when you don’t respond to their comments throughout the process. Your heartbeat’s too loud in your ears at first to register the sound that’s left is Chigiri, his panting and whining growing quick while Nagi jerks him off across from you.

Your hearing is finally clear again when he mumbles a broken, “gonna cum, Sei- fuck- where?”

You watch Nagi glance around for a second at his backpack and your discarded clothes littering the floor before his stare lands on you, and his eyes soften a bit.

“My girlfriend.”

“Sei-?”

“Inside her like everyone else.” Nagi’s tone is humorless—maybe a teense fond.

At this point no action anyone around you takes could surprise you, so you spread your legs a little in your seat, flicking your gaze up at Hyoma’s furrowed expression.

He hesitates much less than you would have expected, taking over for Nagi with a breathy sigh, his hand gliding up and down his own cock with loud wet slaps.

Before you know it he’s standing and twisting your body diagonal so you’re leaning against Isagi’s chest, spreading your legs with one hand before kneeling to slide himself inside. You both wince when he enters, you from raw overstimulation and him from the squeeze—it only takes one pump before he’s cumming inside you—painting your insides with what feels like buckets of cum while his breaths come out in shaky moans, leaving you so full you’re leaking before he even pulls out.

Everything’s sticky and exhausting after that, you feel like you need to sleep for days, but the train just announced it would be pulling into the station in 5 minutes. So, with the help of four sets of hands besides your own, and one of Nagi’s tee shirts that Isagi elected as a temporary cum rag, you redress yourself and are left sitting beside Nagi again, him leaning his head against the wall with frequent yawns and you sending an apologetic text to your friend for your lack of response. Nagi already had practice today but he has a dinner to attend before his big game tomorrow, one you were planning to accompany him to but you’re currently planning to forgo, hoping none of his teammates or coaches miss your absence.

The early check-in to your hotel goes smoothly. You’re happy to get the chance to break in a fresh bed with a late nap, but once you arrive and go to shower, you finally notice something missing. You didn’t even realize with how sensitive and raw you were feeling between your legs, along with how used to nudity you’d grown accustomed in the past hour and half, but ever since your train ride soirée, it seems your panties have mysteriously vanished…

#bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #nagi seishiro x reader #isagi x you #isagi x reader #nagi x reader #bachira x reader #nagiri x reader #chigiri x you #chigiri x reader #bllk fic #blue lock fic #tw dubcon #bllk smut #tw dacryphilia #tw public sex

490 notes · View notes

jihnari · 1 year

Text

zhongchi - the ship that’s ruining my life

disclaimers:

ship what u want. i cannot stop you. i do not care. be free.

this post is an OPINION and you DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE. if reading about why i dislike zhongchi is going to upset you, maybe give this a pass

i do not dislike childe OR zhongli. i just think their ship is silly.

if you are a zhongchi shipper and you choose to read this anyway, this is not written as a personal attack. i said "zhongchi 😒" one too many times and a non-genshin friend said "why do you hate that ship so much" and then i wrote a manifesto

ive never been involved in real fandom drama and idk how it goes but i would like to remain ignorant and free, pls do not attack me over this i am small and nervous and do not mean any harm

part 0: the ship

"who are they and why does this ship exist?" you might ask, if you've never played genshin. on the surface, this is a simple question with a simple answer. the two characters for this ship are in the same place at the same time and their stories overlap heavily. childe is the big bad of zhongli's story arc. (not that zhongli fights him; you, the player character, fights childe.) so they potentially have enemies to lovers, and they are actually friends before some truths come to light and it's revealed they're on "different sides". childe also pays for things for both you (the player character) and zhongli, which people read as caring. [1]

childe/zhongli is the most popular genshin ship on ao3. there are currently 132,000 works on ao3 for genshin impact and 12,735 of those have the ship tag childe/zhongli. that's only 10% of the all existing works, but the second largest ship tag has only 6,600 works, which is half as many.

relevant as an influencing factor is another popular ship early on in genshin's inception. that other ship was the first two hot male characters to have tension and an overlapping storyline, but they turn out to be "related" and a large part of the fandom collectively dropped them like a hot potato. but these fans were already in the fandom, already playing genshin, and they needed someone to ship. so they collectively jumped over to the SECOND set of two hot male characters with perceived tension and an overlapping storyline, i.e. zhongli and childe. the story containing zhongli and childe is 1) permanent canon content and 2) presented relatively early to the player, so zhongchi as a ship is more accessible than other popular ships that don't show up for 50+ hours [2] of gameplay.

furthermore, neither childe or zhongli have many meaningful interactions with other characters, and both characters were very popular upon launch. their initial popularity caused an epidemic, and a subsequent over-saturation of the ship on ao3. [3]

part 1: the characters

zhongli is a retired ex-god who faked his own death so he could have a break and go play at being human in the most mundane way possible. he's spiritually and emotionally an old man. he watches operas and drinks tea, has very expensive taste but no money, and works the front desk at a funeral parlor. he's thousands of years old and not entirely human (more on that later). [4]

childe is in his 20s and an affable general in the evil army. at 14 childe fell through a hole into genshin hell and lived there for a few months and emerged Changed. he can also turn into a demon now, just as a fun side note. upon getting him back, his parents found him to be a very scary menace and they quickly enrolled him in the military. he is the youngest ever person to be made general in the evil army, but this is less due to him being driven by ambition and more being a violent gremlin who couldn't be controlled and who beat up everyone in his path.

in his spare time, childe gets into unwinnable fights and pushes himself to the limit just so he can feel something. he's utilitarian, having grown up poor, and when you ask about his least favorite food he tells you that being picky about food is a bad thing and you should cut that out. he "has money" but it's not his money, it's his government's money. the budget for his evil task is very, very high, and he uses it for mission things though he tends to be pretty loose about what that includes. his mission budget shouldn't matter, but will unfortunately come up later.

childe is diametrically opposed to zhongli and zhongli's city; or he WOULD be but childe is too friendly and zhongli secretly has a deal with childe's boss, paying them to do the evil thing so he can retire in peace. this is a slight betrayal to childe but when it comes to light he isnt upset at zhongli, he's upset at his coworker for being the literal worst. childe is still seen around fantasy china after he tries to destroy it with a meteor[5], and only the townspeople seem to have any hard feelings. zhongli and childe are not canonically depicted as having any hard feelings.

part 2: "making it work"

past the superficial reasons listed in part 0, zhongchi makes no sense to me as a pairing. zhongli is a boring old man and childe barely seems to consider people anything more than NPCs unless they end up having fighting prowess, in which case he tries to fight them and then (if they don't die) considers them friends.

childe is dynamic, always striving to be better, stronger, faster[6]; childe is an adrenaline addict. zhongli is static and intends to stay that way.

the characters have undergone some personality changes to make them fit together better.

zhongli is part dragon(?) so people give him an obsession for pretty things and a massive possessive streak. since he's "broke", childe becomes a sugar daddy type in many works. zhongli is also almost exclusively on top in sexual situations, because duh, old, powerful dragon. [7]

childe couldn't possibly be in a position of power when he's with a older, more powerful male, so he becomes very submissive and swoon-y and teenage girl. the betrayal hurt him *ever* so deeply and he may never emotionally recover. he canonically has a family whom he loves, so people come down on that hard and say he's a real family man and he wants to have a family of his own and obviously he wants to settle down with zhongli and have zhongli's babies.

part 3: losing sight of canon

the further this ship goes, the further we stray from god. [8]

childe is now super rich and loves paying for other people's things, especially zhongli's (forgetting that the money he has was in fact part of his mission budget). the tag "battlesexual childe" is a sortable tag on ao3, but the zhongchi part of genshin has all but forgotten childe likes to fight. zhongli is now possessive to a borderline abusive degree, and childe likes being tied down (metaphorically) to his dragon husband (did i mention they're frequently and casually married? this is the erasermic[9] of genshin).

another side effect of being auto-married by the fandom is that it pushes the domesticity angle of zhongchi. you know, zhongli, an ex GOD OF WAR who COMMITTED GENOCIDE and a childe, a dude so obsessed with fighting that his own family couldnt handle him and shipped him off to the military at 14. them. domestic. what drugs are you on [10]

part 4: dragons

hey. why did so many people have to latch onto the dragon thing? on a personal note, i do not understand the appeal but have no room to judge. on a cultural note, zhongchi is DOING IT WRONG.

in canon, zhongli's "dragon form" is based off of chinese dragons[11]. which makes sense, since the place he's from, liyue, is modeled after china. genshin impact is created by mihoyo, a chinese company.

what im saying is a chinese company writing a chinese game with a character from fantasy china would NOT make this character a western dragon.

western dragons breathe fire, are very aggressive, collect hoards of gold, and are often depicted as greedy and possessive. eastern dragons not only look different, they're associated with water (rain) rather than fire, they're cultural symbols of prosperity and good luck, and they FOSTER HARMONY. i have exclusively seen zhongli's "dragon personality traits" modeled after western dragons, not eastern ones. like. yeah. i get it. the dragons the english half of the fandom is familiar with are western dragons. maybe they don't even know how eastern, and specifically chinese dragons, are different. but that doesnt make them any less INCORRECT.

and hey! seeing dragon eggpreg content makes me want to die[12]. there’s so much. i wish there was less much. this also further encourages the feminization of childe which is :\ must we keep returning the gender norms to fictional romantic relationships

part 5: the ripple effect

the zhongchi version of childe has escaped containment[13]. im unhappy about it. i always know it when i see it because childe is an insatiable uwu bottom who would rather have sex than have a street fight.

because this ship is so hellaciously popular, other childe ships are relatively rare[14]. anywhere you go, if someone is a fan of zhongli or childe, they probably also ship it. i never want to see another piece of zhongchi fanart again and yet, i soldier on. this is my curse. this is my burden. for childe, i must persevere.

in conclusion,

i dont have a conclusion actually i just hate zhongchi, thanks for coming to my ted talk

[1] those people are incorrect.

[2] i didnt look up this number even a little bit, but i feel in my heart that it is accurate.

[3] "only 10%? and you're calling it an epidemic?" yes. yes i am. "don't you think thats a little harsh?" you haven't seen what ive seen. you haven't suffered what ive suffered.

[4] sorry i know the childe section is like four times as long but i just don’t about zhongli like i do childe.

[5] yes i know it wasnt a meteor but this was written to be read fandom blind and ff7 altered my brain chemistry.

[6] Daft Punk, "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger", 2001

[7] there are, of course, bottom!zhongli works. the name for this ship is "chili" (dont get me started on the top/bottom dynamic wars within the same pairing, we'll be here all day and i will scream until i pass out). it's more difficult to use ao3 numbers to prove my point here, as i find the tagging of top/bottom dynamics on ao3 to be inconsistent. instead, i will use statistics on zerochan.net. at the time of writing, zerochan has 1,765 images tagged with "zhongchi" and 228 images tagged with "chili". (so, ~90% of the childe/zhongli ship on zerochan is marked as zhongchi, i.e. top!zhongli and bottom!childe.) should i be using only a single data point to definitively say that zhongchi is exponentially more popular than chili? no, i should not; that's what we call bad science. but it illustrates the skew in the dynamics and the clear fandom preference, and this is a rant post not a scientific study.

[8] to some degree, inaccurate fanonizations involving popular characters in a large fandom is inevitable. i understand this. i do not accept this.

[9] erasermic (aizawa shouta/yamada hizashi) is a popular fandom auto-married ship from boku no hero academia. im not a fan of erasermic either but at least it's existence hasn't left a permanent stain on the characterizations of either character.

[10] ok so maybe zhongli could do the domesticity thing given that he's working that mundane human angle, though it would take some effort and learning and guidance. but childe? a house husband? lol. lmao.

[11] to be specific, he's half-dragon half-qilin but everyone seems to forget the qilin part. this isn't unreasonable, given that my experience is with the english speaking part of the genshin fandom, and qilin isnt really a thing that shows up in english media. one time i was watching a cdrama with a friend and the subtitles said "he has a dragon tattoo!" and she started YELLING and we had to pause the show because it wasnt a gd dragon it was a QILIN and they are VERY DIFFERENT THINGs, and then i got a whole rant about how even a unicorn would be a closer translation than dragon and i had to look up qilin's on wiki to follow along with the rant. and thats how i know what a qilin is.

[12] i have a visceral cringe reaction to dragons now, thanks zhongchi. from my favorite beanie baby being scorch to this, how far i have fallen

[13] im sure the same is true for this fanon version of zhongli but i havent bothered to verify.

[14] @ chilumi shippers: ur cool, i like u, i also like ur art it's cute <3 but your fanfiction is not for me u_u

#writing #fandom analysis #as written by a childe main #genshin impact #mentions of sex #rant #childe #tartaglia #zhongli #not zhongchi friendly but not zhongli unfriendly #zhongli is fine #chilumi shippers i see u and you're doing great keep it up i just dont read m/f #woke up today and chose violence #i really did think about letting this stay in discord dms forever but i worked too hard on this argument to let it die in obscurity #might delete later we'll see if the fandom gets vicious #hopefully they will not! but i am kind of inviting bad karma by posting this #i think the flanderization of fictional characters within fandom using traits they NEVER POSSESSED is a really fascinating thing #from a sociological perspective #from a fandom perspective pls stop ur hurting me #fandom telephone

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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 1 year

Text

SCREAMS

WELCOME BACK

I’VE HAD A WEEEK OF THINKING ABOTU EP 4 NONSTOP AND THE ONLY REASON I’M NOT POSTING ART IS BECAUSE I’M PARANOID ABOUT PEOPLE UNTHINKINGLY SLAPPING SPOILERS IN THE TAGS (its happened before) BUT DADSY HAS MY ENTIRE SOUL ANYWAY

ITS EP 5 TIME AND HECK HECK

MONKIE KID SEASON 4 EPISODE FIVE WE HALFWAY THROUGH BOOOOIIIIIIS

BUCKLE UP I AM NORMAL ALREADY FOLKS

actually to be honest I’ve been pretty chillin until I doodled Pigsy and Mk and now I’m feeling feral THIS SHOW REALLY IS SO GOOD FOR MY BRAIN YELLSSS

OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO COURT OF THE YELLOW ROBED DEMON HECK SOUNDS FUN LETS BOOGIE

continues to be a banger theme song that i will listen to all the way through every time it plays thank you very much

. . .

i need a moment

lays down

Pigsy absolute beloved ;-;

ALSO I’M KINDA WHEEZING AT THE BLUE ISN’T REALLY MY COLOUR

HECK I DIDNT’ APPRECCIATE EP 4 ENOUGH SO YOU BEST BELIEVE I’MA BE CHERISHIGN THE CRAP OUTTA EPISODE FIVE

I’M JUST SO HAPPY PLS BGSL;DKFMSDF

Pigsy washing his clothes in the river, Mk doodling i adore I’m so much and MEI BELOVED BALANCING SWORD ON HER NOSE I’M

THE VIBES ARE SO GOOD I WILL CRY

i had to rewind because i just sat here watching and just ;-; SUCH GOOD VIBES MAN |;A;/

ALSO HECK DIOLOGUE

HECKINGDSFLKMSD

PIGSY CALLING OTHER PIGSY A MONSTER

HMHMHM JOTTING THAT DOWN UR HONOUR

NGL BUT THAT VALIDATES MY OWN LITTLE SELF-INDULGENT FIC I WROTE A WHILE BACK OF TIME TRAVEL AND HIM DISLIKING PAST HIM SORRY I’M JUST GRRGRRRAWRRR BITES /POS

IS PIGSY HAVING TROUBLE ACCEPTING THAT WAS A PAST LIFE?

HECK I’M BITESBITESBITES

THE LAST EP KINDA FELT CONFUSING WHERE TANGS FELT VERY THUROUGH IN WHAT THE BIGGEST REGRET THING WAS BUT

AFTER LITERALLY JUST THAT LINE I’M LIKE OH SO HIS GREATEST REGRET WAS JUST BEING WHO HE WAS HUH FR

I’M LIKE THIRTY SECONDS IN AND ALREADY NORMALGBS;LDFKMA

Tang with the name correction ;-;

PIGSYGBSDFLMWE

DON’T GO COMPARING ME TO THAT DEMON

I’M JUST PLAIN OL PIGSY

|;A;/

I’M FINE IGNORE ME

Pigsy ur so valid for wanting layers on hHNV;LKSMFSD But my good sir no need to apologize for being a hunk smhBG;LSKDFM;WOEF

Mei

Mei absolute beloved

s SCREAMS

DRAGON TIME

WE GONNA SEE HIIIMMMMMMM

considering i had so much brainrot about Wukong and Ao Lie brother moments after season 3 if we see him and we get any of his care for his bro i will be emotionally destroyed /pos LIKE I BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM SM I TELL YOU AAAAAAAA

Mei: oh he must’ve been awesome

you’re right mei he was

just didn’t get much… screen time. book time? time BG;KSADFKMSDF

I WONDER HOW THEY’LL CHRACTERIZE HIM

HECK

AAAAAAA

SO MANY OPTIONS

i am very normal if we see him i’ll cry

Mei’s got some seriously good balance now

MY ANCENSTORGSLDFKMAGNMAWE

Okay i wanna laugh over Mei’s I THOUGHT MONKEY KIGN WIAS YOUR DAD! HE’S NOT MY DAD!!!!

I WAS GONNA LAUGH BUT U H

THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS HAS BEEN MENTIONED

MK IS LITERALLY DRAWING A STONE EGG

THE PEBBLE CRACKING IN HIS FLASHBACK

BUDDIES OF MINE SUDDENLY ON THE MK AND WUKONG SIBLING TRAIN

head in hands

so this confirms the theory that smacked me in the face last week this is fine

Mk fr probably a pebble from swk’s rock or something i don’t know TOO MANY FINGERS POINTING IN TAT DIRECTION I DONT’ KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT FEEL FREE TO PROVE ME WRONG UNIVERSE I WOULD GLADLY ACCEPT IT

AM I AFRAID TO LEARN ABOUT MK’S BACKSTORY NOW?

YEAH A LITTLE BIT

EVERYHTING IS FINE

TIS IS FINE

PLS

SCREAMS

HE SAID IT

SHAKES YOU

GUYS HE SAID IT I’MGNSDFLK;MASDF

THE POINT

AND

PIGSY’S MY DAD

PIGSY SWEATINGBDL;KMASD

PLEASENG;LKSAMF

UR HONOUR

UR HONOUR PLEASE

THIS IS MY SEASON

HECKING

GETTING EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT SHUT UUUUPPPPBGS;DFKLMAW;EOIMFE

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

HIS BLEP AND CONTINUES COLOURING

Y’ALL MK MY BELOVED I ADORE THIS DUDE SM

PIGSY BLINDSIDED BY BEING CALLED DAD SO BLATANTLY I’M ON THE FLOOR

MK REALLY JUST

LETS CUT THE CRAP THAT’S MY DAD EVERUYBODY ELSE CAN GO I’MGBSD;FKMASDF

Guys I think i found my favourite episode

no lie this is

everything to me rn

PLEASE

A CONSPIRICY BOARDBG;SLKDMFWE

TANG’S DOODLES

SANDY STILL OFF SCREENGBSD;FKM;WOEF

CAN MEI BECOME A HORSENGKLMFD

GOOD QUESTION ACTUALLY

HECK HECK I FEEL LIKE THIS IS MOVING TO FAST I WANT TO GO BACK AND REWATCH THE WHOLE MONKEY KINGS NOT MY DAD PIGSYS MY DAD UH KID I’M NOT TECNICALLY-

HEKCKMGNDSFMSD

YEAH

I CAN’T BELIEVE

THEY’RE THEORIZING ON SCREEN

ABOTU WHETHER OR NOT MK’S RELATED TO MONKEY KING

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL I FEEL LIKE I’M SCROLLING THORUGH THE FANDOM TAGBGBSDL;KFMSDF

I WILL CRY

HECK THIS IS SO FUNNY SEEING IT ALL SLAPPED OUT LIKE THAT I’VE LITERALLY THOUGHT THAT ALL IN THAT ORDER WE’VE MADE SO MANY THEORIES LIKE THIS I’M WHEEZINGNSDFL;KMSDF

BELOVED MONKEY KING

REAL SWK CONFIRMED

I’M GONNA SCREAM

THEY LEGIT DOING THIS??

FR???

I CAN’T BELEIVE THISGBSD;FKLMOEWF

RELATED TO MONKEY KING SOMEHOW CONFIRMED IG

ALL THAT

PLS

HE’S AT LEAST A STONE MONKEY

I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT WOULD WORK I LIKE MONKEY KING BEING ONE OF A KIND AND ALL THAT NOT SURE ABOUT THAT APPROACH BUT HECK IT WE BALL IG

ALSO PLEASELMGSAOFE

MK JUST LIKE NOOOO NONONONONOOO NO THANK YOU THAT’S CRAAAAZY

ah yess because he’s normally sooooo forthcoming with information

HELPGSDLKF

YEAH

SHE GOT A POINT LAD

SHE DO BE GOT A POINT

poor mk not looking very stoked at this possibility

CURIOUS YOU’D THINK HE’D BE ECSTATIC BUT IG TRUAMA DOES A LOT BGSDL;FKMS

MK COMUNICATING LEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WELL WHEN WE FIND HIM WE CAN ASK HIM! :D

PLS I JUST LOV EHIM A LOT GUYS

PIGSYGBSD;LKFMWE

PIGSY YOU’VE BEEN HERE FIVE SECONDS WHY ARE YOU ANNOYEDNLGKMMFEEF

I’m telling you now! :D

PLS IT TAKES A SECOND TO FIGURE THESE THINGS OUT

HECK

SCREAMS

HECK WAIT

I’M NOT READY

THIS IS SO EARLY IN THE EPISODE WDYM

USUALLY THEY WAIT TILL CLSOER TO THE END TO LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY

WE’RE ONLY TWO MINUTES IN

HELP WAITBG;LSDKMF

also welp ig mk really is stone monkey HOW DOES THAT WORK I DON’T KNOW I’M IN PIECES GO BACKGNS;LKFMWE

i DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S MONKEY KINGS ROCK MK I THINK IT’S YOURS

ALSO UM WHAT THE HECKNVG;LKSDMFBGN;AKFMA;WOEF

MK VERY EAGER TO HAVE MONKEY KING EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE HE’S DEFINITELY NOT HIS DADGBSDF;LKM;SDF

heck

okay

soooo

that sounded

less like monkey kings voice there

and more like

ahem Mk’s

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

SCREAMS AND SHAKES YOU ALL

I SWEAR IF HE’S A CLONE

OR HECKING

SOMETHING ID ONT’ KNOW

HE HECKING BETTER NOT BE DEAD

IT BETTER NOT BE MONKEY KING ISNT’ ACTUALLY MONKEY KING AND MK’S HIS REINCARNATION AND MONKEY KING IS ACTUALLY JUST A CLONE LEFT BEHIND TO COACH HIS NEXT LIFE THAT STUPID THING I MADE UP I SWEAR I WILL BE CRUSHED PLEASE DONT’ BE THATBG;SDLKFMAWOE I MADE THAT UP FOR ANGST PURPOSES NOT FOR IT TO BE A HTEORY FOR CANON

i am full of fear

HECK THOSE ARE GIANT EYES

SCROLL CURSE

OH NO THEY LOST THE CHEAT SHEET

CHEAT SHEET WAIT THAT’S SO FUNNYGHSBDFLK;MWEF

OH HECK

HECKK

ECK HECK JGSDJLFSJD

MEI

WATCH IT

OH SHE’S FAST NOW

OH RIP

WELP

I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING

SO WE’RE GONNA GET A MEI ARC IN THIS ONE AGAIN HUH

BREAK THE SWORD DISSAPOINTED FAMILY OR SOMETHIGN GOTTA RE-PROVE HERSELF OR SOMETHIGN HECKINGNFDL;KMWE

THAT’S SUCH PRETTY ANIMATION THO HECK EHCK

WE’RE ONLY 2:50 IN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS SCREAMS

THEY BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN ALL BUBBLED TO DIFFERENT PLACES I SWEAR

oh no yup separated

I’M SO SORRY MEI ILY

OH RIP

WELP

YUP EVERYBODY SEPERATED

AWESOME

HELPGML;SDFM

CONGRATS TANG LOOOKS ILKE YOU’RE IN THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN

GL WITH THAT

WIAT HELPGNSAOWE

HE FR JUST SCREAMS AND BUBBLES AWAY

HELPGMSLDF

I WAS EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE LONGER HELPGNSDLFKMSDF

peak comedy there well done lets scream and run away from that chapter so true bG;LKAWEMFAEWFNAWFE

Mei.

Mei you

Mei you literally have the fire of Samadhi

you have the Samadhi fire

you don’t need a swordnGL;KMAWFE

OKAY THO MEI EP OR SOEMTHING IG

SHE’S GONNA GO ON A JOURNY OF SELF-DISCOVERY IG

ALSO WHERE THE HECK DID MK GO

WE SAW EVERYBODY ELSE

WER’ES MY BOOOIIIII

OH I HATE HIM

IMMEMDEATLEY

WHO’S THIS CLOWN

FIESTY

EAT MY FIST

WHY IS HE

TALKINGNSDFL;KMWE

KILL HIM

SUS OLD MAN

OH RIGHT YEAH YOU’RE THIS GUY

OH HE’S A VIBE ACTUALLY

LONG HAIR VIBIN

YOU BETTER NOT HTINK MEI IS YOU’RE HEKCING WHATEVER

OR MAYBE YOU WANNA CONSUME HER

OKAY YEAH

FUN

I’LL BE SPICY ALRIGHT

OHH

OKAY CONCERN

BURN HIM ALIVE

COME ON W

not gonna

eat her right away oka

ITS HIM

ITS HIM HITSBSFBGANFABF;IOAWMEFAWMGFA;LFMAWOIEMFAF

SCREAMS

ITS HIM

TIS HIM

SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU ITS HIM

I KNOW IT IS

ITS HIM I TS HIM TBNSLKMGNEEM

ITS HIM

GREEN

ITS HIM

SCREAMS IT HE

ITS HIM ITS MY MAAAN

ITS HE

SCREAMS

ITS AO LIE

SHUT I’M UP GONNA CRY ITS HIM RIGHT NOW HE

I’M HAVING A MOMENT HERE GUYS GIVE ME A SECOND I’M GONNA CRY

OH HE’S SO SCRUNGLY

OH HE’S SO

YES

OH THE LONG SLEEVES EXCUSE ME HE’S SO DELIGHTFUL

I IMMEDEATELY ADORE HIM

I am not normal

HE’S BEAUTIFUL

HIS LITTLE HEADTILT

I WILL SOB

HELPGMSDLFKMSDF

TANG JUST ZOOMIN

NOP NOPE NOPE NOPE

THE NEZHA MOMENT

THIS IS ACTUALLY SO MUCH FUN

HECK AO LIE IS SO SCRUNGGLY I WOULD DIE FOR HIM YA’LL

HE’S DRAWN SO NICE

HES’ BEAUTIFUL

MEI GETS TO HANG OUT WITH HER ANCESTOR

SHE’S EITHER GONNA BE ANNOYED BY HIM OR VIBE AND I’M GONNA CRY EITHER WAY

OH NOPPES OUT TANG ET MOVING

YUP NOPE

THAT’S THE WORNG DOOR VERY MUCH

OH HE’S LAUGHIGN AT HER

WHATS SO FUNNY GUY

I LOVE

I LOVE HIM

SISTER

PLS

I ADORE HIM

YOU DONT’ UNDERSTAND I’M IN LOVE WITH HIS DESIGN THE VOICE ACTOR IS SO GOOD

THE :3 FACE THEY’RE GIIVNG HIM

i am actually going to cry YOU GUSY HE’S SO SCRUNGLY

PLEASE

PLEASE HE’S EVERYHTING TO ME

I WANT TO GIVE HIM SNACKS

THE TRIP

PLEASE

HE’S JUST A GOOFY LITTLE GUY

truly this is the youngest sib during the journey truly tis him

i love how i’m just assuming this is Ao Lie when i actually have no proof its just the vibes via the story and the fact he’s beautiful and green and absolutely delightful I WOULD DIE FOR HIM YOU DON’T UNDERSTANDNGLSDMAGNWO;EFM

oh man we’re only halfway through this is gonna be a long post hG;KLSDFJSD

THIS GUY

YUP MILDLY ANNOYED

I LOVE HIM

OH BUDDY NO

BUD

BELOVED

I’M ABOUT TO CRY

BRUH REALLY

JUST VIBIN

WAITING FOR HIS PWOERS TO BE SNATCHED

AND MEI JUST OUTRAGED BY THAT

YEAH

I’M

HECK

HECK GUYS THAT’S HER ANCESTOR I’M GOING TO BURST INTO TEARS THIS IS A THREAT

INACTION IS CARELESS

INTERSTING

MADAM

MEI NOT ALL OF THAT IS CORRECT

OH LETS GO I HOPE THIS IS A BOTH LEARN SOMETHING FROM EACH OTHER ARC I WILL CRY

MEI HECKA PASSIONATE ABOUT HER FRIENDS

HELPGMSDFLMADF

DO NOT SENSE

PLEASE

PLEASE HANG ON THIS IS MOVING SO FAST

THEY WENT FROM LIKE

HI HI

*INTENSE PHYSCOLOGICAL DISCUSSION*

THEY JUST MET PLEASENG;LKMSDFE

IS IT GONNA BE LIKE

GET OUT AND THEN SURPRISE! I’M AO LIE!

ANYWAY IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU BYEEEE

PLS

A SWORD IS POWERLESS WITHOUT THE HAND THAT WEILDS IT

I ADORED IT

MY DUDE WHO IS PROBABLY AO LIE no its’ definitely Ao Lie AO LIE BELOVED I LOVED IT ITS A GREAT BIT OF WISDOM

THEIR LITTLE BANTER IS SO FUNNY PLEASE

MEI’S READY TO BITE HIM HE’S JUST SILLY GOOFY MAN

THEY BOTH GOT GOOD POINTS

man family dinner must be fun if his sister’s anything like Mei bGALK;SMDFAOWEF MAN I LOVE THEM

TANG REALLY GOING THROUGH IT

MO??????

MO IS THAT YOU???

HECK???

WHERE’D YOU COME FROM???

WHY AREN’T YOU WITH SANDY??

i mean sandy’s probably not sandy rn but MO????

OH HECK

HELLO

LOUDLY

DECLARING THAT HUH

WHATS GOING ON OVER THERE

Y’know hang on before we listen to Wukong’s bros trash talk him i wanna think about the fact that Wukong and Ao Lie probably get along great because they’re so alike

they’re just silly goofy Ao Lie probably reminds Wukong of himself back when he was just goofing off pls

OH??

OH MACAQUE’S THERE LISTENIGN TO THEM TRASH TALK HIS BELOVED FRIEND?? YEAH?? OH I’M INVESTED LETS FREAKING GO

unpredictable sure is a word for WukongnGL;KMEAFWE

CHARERISTICALLY QUIET PLSNG;LSDKMF

oh wow hey

New VA nailing it actually

deeper sounding

more gruff hang on i need a sec

lays down

heck

okay

okay we’re good

lets see if Azure’s vibes continue to be rancid or he says something to bring it back

also my goodness what a good thing to slap in there, Monkey king gone for years at a time sure does make it sketchy i’m biting this

OH HE’S IN THE BIG OL KING SEAT UH

TANG RECIGNIZING HIM FROM THE DOODLE

PLS THAT’S SO SILLY /POS

NO YEAH ME TOO DUDE

HE’S HECKA SUS

HIS VIBES CONTINUE TO BE RANCID

also heck i’m curious as to what they’re gonna do with this

like if Mac goes along with those three and then it’s actually the other way around not Wukong betraying them but them betraying him that’d be WILD considering we’re all so sure its something Wukong did but heck maybe Azure really does do something heck heck

OKAY BACK TO THE FAMBLY

and the excellently designed dude i immediately hated

he and Ao Lie are on opposite sides of the scale for me pleasemKLGASDF Cool design I IMMEDEATELY HATE HIM and COOL DESIGN I ADORE HIM

Whats up greasy ole face weirdo

OH BELOVED

BEAUTY FIRST

DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT

DID HE JUST SAY BEAUTY FIRST OR AM I JUST IN LOVE WITH THE DESIGNGNSDLFKMABGOWEMF

I’M GONNA ASSUEM THAT’S WHAT HE SAID AND CRY OVER THE FACT AO LIE IS PRETTY WE BEEN KNEW

OH MAN MEI’S GREAT

YEAAAHHHHH

SCREAMS

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

is the the DANG DRAGON MOMENT U SEEM MORE FAMILAR ARE WE RELATED MOMENT OR GNSLDK;MFAOWEIM

AAAA

SEH’S SO GOOD I LOVE HER A LOT

GET EM MEI

AYO

MADE HERSELF A SWORD

LETS FREAKING GOOOOOOOOOOO

SHE’S SO GOOD

I LOVE HER

WHITE HORSE DRAGON

HEAR THAT AO LIE??

HEAR THAT???

Its okay i’m fine i’m just losing it

GET EM GURRRLL

SHE’S SO

FREAKING POWERFUL

OH WOW THE DRAMATIC

HAIR SWOOSHY

I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT DAY TO BE CARELESS

OH FREAKING

HECK

WOW

HE’S

OH WOW

I LOVE

HIM

I LOVE IM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

ITS YOU

AO LIE LIKE EH??

VA GO BRRR

I KNEW YOU WERE COOL

OH REALLY YOU THINK SO? :D

HE’S SO SCRUNGGLY

OH THE COOLEST

PLEASE

I WANT MORE OF HIM

I WANT MORE OF HIM SO BADLY

I BEG OF YOU

HE IS EVEYRTING TO ME I GOT CHILLS

HECK

OH MAN

MAN

AMV TIME HERE I COME THIS SEASON IS SO FREAKING GOOD I’M LOSING IT

I’M GONNA MAKE SO MANY AMVS I SSWEAR

I’M GONNA WATCH THIS EP ON LOOP

AO LIE IS EVERYTHING

I WANT HIM BACK

PLEASE

AAAAAAAAAA

|;A;/

SCREEAAAMMSSS

OKAY

OH MY BOY ARE YOU ALRIGHT?

HECK HE WAS STRAIGHT UP KNOCKED OUT UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE

GO BACK WHERE’S PIGSY HECK HECK HECK

I WANT MORE DADSY CONTENT WAAAAIT

OHBOY

WHERE ARE THEY

OH PUTI

OH ARE WE

WHERE

HECK

HANG ON

SHOOT

HE IS NOT REPLACING SWK IN THIS

I SWEAR

I WILL LOSE MY GOSH DANG MIND IF THEY DO THAT

SWK IS TOO IMPORTANT TO ME DON’T DO THIS TO ME

HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK

SCREAMS

OKAY

OKAY SO MK IS IN

MONKEY KINGS PLACE

HECK

SO CONFIMRED MK STONE MONKEY AT LEAST, LITERLALY SWK’S SON OR SIBLING AT MOST OR LITERALLY SWK, AO LIE IS MY MOST FAVOURITE EVER I WANT HIM AND SWK BEING GOOFY TOGETHER RIGHT FREAKING NOW, ZHU BAJIE’S GREATEST REGRET MIGHT JSUT BE HIM BEING HISMELF, LBD LOOKED RIGHT AT TANG, MEI CAN MAKE HER OWN NEW SWORD NOW, MK MIGHT BE REPLACING MONKEY KING, AZURE’S VIBES CONTINUE TO BE RANCID, THE NEW VA FOR MAC IS DOING A REALLY GOOD JOB OF SOUNDING CLOSE THE TO THE OG (nothing but appreciation for this guy thank you big shoes to fill) AND THEY’RE ALL SEPERATED, TANG FOUND MEI THO, AO LIE WAS READY TO GIVE UP HIS OWN POWERS, THEY CLASHED BOTH HAD GOOD POINTS, TANG BOOKED IT OUT OF THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN, MK DIDN’T KEEP HIS FRIENDS IN THE DARK ABOTU HIS VISIONS FOR LONGER THAN LIKE TWO EPISODES AND IS COMMUNCIATING, SEEMS TO HAVE A PROBLEM THINKING ABOUT SWK AS HIS DAD, PIGSY GOT CALLED DAD PIGSY’S MY DAD, AH HECK HECK THIS EPISODE HAD SO FREAKING MUCH THEY FOUND MO, HOLDS HIM GETNLY, MACAQUEEEEEE AAAAAAAAA I LOVE ALL THESE GUYS SO MUCH

SHUT UP I THINK THIS IS MY FAVOURITE EPISODE NOBODY TOUCH ME I GOT EVERYTHING BUT WUKONG AND I’M ON A HIGH

KNOX OUT I GOTTA GO RUN INTO SOME SNOW

#knox rambles #knox reacts #monkie kid season 4 #lmks4spoilers #lmks4englishspoilers #I AM MENTALLY ILL /POS #AS EXPECTED THIS SEASON IS DESTROYING ME I'M #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #HOLY CRAP WHAT A HALFWAY POINT EPISODE THAT WAS SO MUCH I #HECKECKGMGBJMGOI;AWO;IEFJ;LAKFDS #THANK THE GODS FOR THE LAST CHILL EPISODE THIS WAS SO MUCH I'M HECKGB;SLKDFMEW #OKAY I GOTTA GET OFF WIFI SOMEONE NEEDS IT FOR THEIR MEETING I JUST WANTED TO POST THIS BECAUSE I'M LOSING MY MIND AND WILL BE FOR THE REST #OF THE WEEK THANKS GOOD DAY #HOPE Y'ALL ARE DOING WELL AND VIBIN I'M GOING FERAL

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cryingforcrocodiles · 1 year

Text

got tagged by my great friend, @licharlo this tag ting. thank you for it!!!

rules: share the first lines of your ten most recent fanfics and tag ten people. if you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyways.

yall got ten recent fics? .... bless. i write something once and never touch it again. speaking of those im gonna... try n finish fr sojdkdjdr. i got 3!

[1: labios rotos – lichantony but it's chapter 2. it's lowercase bc i write in lowercase b4 editing 🙏🏿]

"i'm never letting you drink like that again." which is licha for i'm never letting you pick what we drink ever again.

antony gives a quick thumbs up before he's back to hurling into the toilet bowl, head bowing inside the toilet. it makes licha grimace.

“damn,” licha hisses, moving from his eariler position of leaning on the doorframe to the floor where antony is pathetically retching his heart out. “fuckin' nasty.” despite his words, his hand comes to lay on the curve of antony's back, his palm rubbing gently back and forth until antony stops puking.

[2: seal them up with care – gimbappe but it's another chapter 2 i refuse to touch]

Halftime is busy. The locker room busier. Everyone buzzes around like polluted bees, twitchy, thrilled, and eager. You can assume Olivier is the most thrilled by the amount of social acrobatics he's currently performing. He thinks he's touched every wall in some capacity since he busted his way in. He was spreading his infectious enthusiasm and pride through contact. He feels like praying, dropping to his knees right on this cold floor and rejoicing, damn it. His teammates certainly are as he got spun around twice, maybe three times in the last 12 seconds. He even animatedly strategized with Deschamps (who was rubbing the bridge of his nose harshly enough to bruise the entire time). That didn't dampen his mood in the slightest, in fact, fueled it.

Without realizing it, he's picking up his water bottle and draining it. The water tastes awful. He chokes more so than swallows. Some sputter out of his mouth as he's touched by passing team members.

[3: darts of pleasure or auf achse. can't decide – lichantony (oh again haiii) once again lowercase bc i haven't edited it all. n it seems like. suggestive. n it kinda is. definitely is but its ... anyways!]

"hey– hey," came the reprimand. rough, bandaged fingers press down along his jawline, its pressure forcing antony to snap his head up, make eye contact. maybe it's the heat inside the locker room but antony burns. his neck and cheeks flushing out as the pressure loosens on his jaw. licha alternates to little circles, like he's apologizing for the spook. antony only shakily breathes, dumbfounded and unmoving as he all he can do is listen and look.

"are you listening?" licha looks straight into his soul, like he's so tough and not standing half naked between his legs.

---

annnd that's it. thank you. thank god. mwah. good days.

i don't have many writers friends left to tag but @0alanasworld0 (if ur still writing in-between time), @buttergirlepic (PLS DANI.), uhhh @kylianmbappeh, @gracelsalvatore, and @pablitogavii <3 love u guys take care. feel free to ignore <3

#phew writing sure is difficult huh <- hasnt written since april #but nonetheless #thank u for the tag nikka i forget that i am technically a writer so ty for reminding me n making myself feel better ☠️🙏🏿#tagged games #friends #gen.txt #this can make me reflect on how i open my fics. usually with speech or a sound. i love myself

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rodolfoparras · 7 months

Note

Take care of yourself first, writing can wait! I am just happy to send you my silly little drabbles and ideas because sharing them over anon is much easier.

Also I saw you mention long haired Price and as someone who absolutely adores men with long hair and falls for them always I feel uniquely qualified to offer my insight. Also long haired old metalhead dilfs are my type to the t.

I think we mentioned before on your blog how Price was definitely alternative when he was younger and I can definitely see him being your typical long haired metalhead, and I stand by the fact that he was pierced and he has old tattoos. He obviously had to cut his hair when he enlisted and although he still has same music taste, he isn't really into same style anymore.

He thinks he's too old for that (I know he's supposed to be around 37 canonically but in my head he's like mid to late 40s in main timeline) and he can't see himself growing his hair out again. Cue his boyfriend finding photos of him when John was younger and begging him to grow his hair out again. He's on the fence about it until he realises just how much his boyfriend would be into the idea.

He slowly starts growing his hair out (let's ignore military aspect for this) and maybe to make it even more interesting, either he or his boyfriend have to go on a mission and when they finally reunite, John's hair has grown and while it's not as long as it used to was, it's still kind of long and his boyfriend can't keep his hands off John.

This is also where John realized that he likes having his hair pulled because his boyfriend will just do it whenever they have sex and John melts instantly. But also the intimacy of hair washing and hair braiding??

-🔮

I appreciate you sugar thank you sm for understanding 🥹 also I wanted to say in regards to the idea u sent you should’ve posted it on ur own blog bc it’s genuinely 10/10 if you one day feel comfortable with posting ur fics and you post a price focused fic pls feel free to tag me id genuinely eat it up

*cracks knuckles* price had to cut his hair bc of the army but he also thought he just grew a tad bit old for the look but then there’ a period of time where he’s stationed somewhere for months maybe a whole year and his hair grows long enough to be tied in a bun he hasn’t had the time to cut it because where would you get your hands on scissors in the middle of nowhere and truth be told he missed his long hair he ties it up opts out of wearing buckets hats and let’s it down before bed however once he’s back home and he actually gets a proper look at himself he’s like ….. and immediately wants to cut it off but you don’t let him u beg and plead almost wrestle the scissors from him however the two of you comprise and you settle for a look where his hair is long enough to be tied into a ponytail but short enough to not have him cringing at himself and the next time he looks at himself in the mirror he actually likes what he sees even smiles at himself and you creep up behind him chin resting atop of his head saying “told you that you’re handsome” and he’s just like oh stop it

But imagine him down on his knees his hair wrapped around your wrist while he sucks your cock and he looks absolutely beautiful drool dribbling down his lips tears trickling down his cheeks and with small curls framing his face

And when it’s time to go back to base and cut his hair he discovers that having your blunt nails scratch at his scalp feels just as good as when you pull on his long hair

#alec answers #🔮 anon

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bwambiee · 1 year

Text

꒰ 𝒽ℯ𝓁𝓁ℴ 𝒽ℯ𝓁𝓁ℴ ૮꒰˶ฅ́˘ฅ̀˶꒱ა 𝓌ℯ𝓁𝒸ℴ𝓂ℯ 𝓉ℴ 𝓂𝒾 𝑔𝓊𝒾𝒹ℯ𝒷ℴℴ𝓀 𝓃ℯ𝓌 𝒻𝓇𝒾ℯ𝓃𝒹 ! 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓊 𝒻ℴ𝓇 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝒾𝓃’ 𝒹𝒶 𝓉𝒾𝓂ℯ 𝓉ℴ 𝓇ℯ𝒶𝒹 𝒾𝓉 , 𝒾 𝒽ℴ𝓅ℯ 𝓌ℯ 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝒽𝒶𝓋 𝒶 𝓌ℴ𝓃𝒹ℯ𝓇𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝓉𝒾𝓂ℯ 𝒶𝓉 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓎 𝒽ℯ𝓇ℯ ꒱ྀི

𝒷𝓎𝒻ܸ ྀི . . . ⃕ a bloggie that is mostly blue lock ‘n hsr based ‘n interacts with ꒰n꒱sfw content so minors kindly stay away from my explicit content ꒰ 16+ are okay to interact ‘n read mi sfw content ! ꒱◞ i like ramblin’ abt my luvrs ‘n i self-ship a lot ꒰ kindly leave my blog if that isn’t for you ꒱ ૮꒰ྀི ៸៸៸៸ ก꒱ྀི১◞ prettie pls do not send mi askies abt requests ‘n know dat i prefer to write on my own time ◞ will write abt any of my faves or shows when i feel like it ◞ discourse ‘n negativity will not be allowed ✗ ◞ a little slow in answering askies ‘n msgs ꒰ i promise ‘m not ignoring you ! ‘m most likely trying to figure out what to say to you or ‘m a bit busy ! ꒱ ◞ mailbox is always open but please just be nice.

ྀི𝒹𝒻𝒾 . . . ⃕ -16 ◞ you fit basic dni criteria (racist, sexist, homophobic . . eg) ◞ support asian fishing or asian fetishizing . it makes mi very uncomfie ◞ if u sub post negatively often ◞ if u like to spread gossip ﾉ discourse ◞ hate nonnies will be deleted!

𝓟𝓢 . hb to break a mutual ⌒ no sb or else i’ll get confused ‘n assume we’re still mutuals !

ྀི𝒾𝓂𝓅ℴ𝓇𝓉𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓃ℴ𝓉ℯ𝓈 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒

i do not take requests ‘n i only write for fandoms ‘n chara’s that i’m only comfy with ꒰ or whoeva i hyperfixate on ! ꒱

the fandoms ‘m happily in are blue lock, honkai star rail, haikyuu, one piece, jjk, free!, fruits basket, genshin impact, bleach, ohshc , ‘n kuroko no basket ◞ rebloggies are vrie much loved ‘n all of your thoughts ﾉ thirsts are welcome

i ask that you do not share ‘n repost my work on any other platform besides tumblr or ao3 ໒꒰ྀི ง`0´ ꒱ྀིง copying my work is even worse ꒰ plagiarism is a violation ! don’t do it pwz ꒱ ‘n i will not tolerate it ! kindly let me know if you see my work on any other platform besides those two ◞ if u would like to translate any of my works remember to ask for permission ꒰ with credit !꒱ ◞ all of my nsfw works will be tagged accordingly 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒆𝒆𝒌 ૮꒰ྀི⊃⸝ ⸝ ⸝⊂꒱ྀིა i kindly ask dat minors do not interact wif my nsfw posts even if i cannot control what content you choose to read .

♡ 𝓮𝔂𝓮𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 . . . fluff ⸝ smut ⸝ angst ꒰ wﾉor wﾉout comfort ꒱⸝ daydreamin’ reader ‘n her golden retriever boyfie who’s only got heart eyes for her ⸝ fem! sub reader ‘n her dom! boyfie ⸝ smau’s ⸝ unhinged humor

𝓷𝓾𝓱-𝓾𝓱’𝓼 . . . m! reader ༝ vore ༝ cannibalism ꒰ are they the same thing? ꒱ ༝ cheating ༝ incest ꒰ stepcest is fine ꒱ ༝ large age gaps ༝ noncon ༝ sub chara’s ༝ dom readers ༝ piss + blood + scat kinks ༝ chara x chara ༝ dark content (self harm ⸝ eating disorders ⸝ drug use ⸝ sa ⸝ yandere).

#🍮#thankin’ you from da bottom of mi heart for readin’ da guide ! now we can get to da fun stuff ‘n interact <3 #prettie pls wif a sweet cherry on top like dis post so i kno you read this ʕ ྀི ܸ. . .ܸ ྀིʔ

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evangelina830 · 6 months

Text

[📌 ] Pinned!!!

🩵Introduction🩵

Hello! I’m Evangelina, but you can call me Evan! (Or any nickname of that ehe idm!)

I’m non binary and my pronouns are They/Them! I don’t mind He/Him, and I won’t get upset, but please don’t! PLEEEASE not She/Her! Pls

Pls check out my commissions HERE!!!

I am a Minor! I have adult friends, just don’t be weird obviously lol

Learning Spanish!

Please use tone indicators if you think something you say that I won’t understand! I’m self diagnosed Autistic and neurodivergent, please be patient! Also I have MASSIVE anxiety (+PTSD), so pls don’t scare me LMAOO

(Adding “read more” so the post isn’t too long, if you’re new to my account though please read!!!⏬️)

Gifts are my main love language so… YES PLEASE GIFTS EVERYWHERE!!! And I’d love if you asked me to draw things in my little inbox thing! Yes I’ll do your ocs and MAYBE characters of fandoms I’m not apart of! Not guaranteed to be super fast, but I might!

I LOVE PIANO AND HAVE OVER 10 CATS!!! So important! LMAOO- also I have 7 siblings ahahh.. last thing here, I’m very nice! Don’t be afraid to ask things even if it isn’t an art request!

If I don’t respond to DMs quickly, also apologies! I’m usually busy, multitasking, or asleep xd if it seems like I’m ignoring you, just know I’m trying my best :,0

🚫Boundaries!🚫

DNI!!! Pr0shitters (or those neutral to it), z00, fetish accounts, NSFW, homo/transphobes, AI “artists”, DSMP fans, racists, People who just be causing problems online-, any p3d0 shit like l0l1con, GOODBYE

Even if we’re friends or you’re the same age as me, PLEASE no saying suggestive comments, even for jokes! I feel like it’s okay to an extent, but im just saying it makes me uncomfy! If I ever make jokes like that, it’ll be like meme redraws or something- lmao! (This just goes for strange comments ABOUT me.)

Please do not trace/repost my art anywhere!!! If you wanna use it as a pfp, please ask, and if I say you can, credit me!!

🤍On this account…🤍

Anyone here is welcome! Of course not ones on my dni list xd OC x Canon, more than welcome!

Here I will post mainly Regular show, some Unikitty, and possibly some Welcome Home content! Regular show way more then the others, but feel free to request and ask for any of them!

Like said before, my asks and stuff, you can say anything you’d like! Art requests, questions, anything! I love getting those!^^

I’ll also be posting oc stuff!! I Wonder how side Blogs here works…

Beware, I post ships!!! Oooo!!! Lmao I support all ships! (Unless I know it to be problematic, toxic, or gross!) main ships I’ll be posting is Geneson (regular show) and.. well, I draw them mostly! If you feel like seeing other content, don’t be shy and tap that button!

✨Tags! (Didn’t steal I swear…)✨

#EvanSona (for my main persona/oc reference sheets!)

#EvanArt (for all my rendered art!)

#EvanDoodles (sorry it weirdly organized lol this is for silly doodles)

#EvanDrawing (for traditional art!)

#EvanUpdates (self explanatory)

#EvanAnswers (answering my inbox!)

#EvanReblogs (reblogging! Usually to boost friends posts, share gift art, etc!)

#EvanOther (for other stuff ofc)

💙Socials💙

INSTAGRAM - @ evangelina_830

TIK TOK - @ evangelina_830 (barely post)

TWITTER - @ evangelina_830 (inactive)

DISCORD - (close friends only xd unless I’m already comfy with u lol)

#EvanSona #EvanArt #EvanDoodles #EvanDrawing #EvanUpdates #EvanAnswers #EvanReblogs #EvanOther

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petwifed · 6 months

Note

hii sorry if this is like super random feel free to ignore this but do you have any tips for a first time blogger? :D like themes for a pinned/where to start/how to make a masterlist, etc. i've been a tumblr lurker for the longest but i wanna start posting but i was like i have no idea what i'm doing HELP

omg these r da big girl asks…. grgrgrhh);&/! .. long kind of answer below

ANYWAY. as a previous lurker myself i can only tell u wat i did cuz m not good with advice😭 for theme / pinned i looked and took inspo from blogs i follow with aesthetics i like, and js searched Pinterest for images & stuff! i used to make carrds so i js looked up carrd’s themes of my desired aesthetic and took pngs/layout inspo … wat i can say is that other blogs wit cute themes r my biggest inspo!!! but Pls b careful bc people on tumblr r sooo sensitive abt themes & pics on here evn when it’s not that serious T_T !!!

and onto like.. masterlists & junk i don’t write on tumblr only ao3 so idk abt dat ! i think there’s a tutorial on here somewhere tho ? the best thing u can do for ur self is make tags!!! it’s smth i regret not tagging stuff so i can find it easier but i slowly eased my way into tagging my own posts. But i RLLY wished i tagged my rbs bc i lost a lot of good stuff….

u can start out wit like rbs with tags & stuffs !! like little snippets of ideas, short stories & stuff of js scenarios or something … n’ an easy way to grow ur blog is to post popular / well known / liked stuff first!! & then ease into wat u rlly wanna write yk? i recently reached a 100 followrs (a lot 2 me) && it’s mostly from my cod / leon stuff & at first tht wasn’t even the main thing on my blog !!! anyways anon i hoped this helped m’ not that good with advice ^_^ thank u 4 askin me !!!!!

#running my mouth🎀#mimi’s blog 🩰#mimi’s inbox ! ♡#4got to make a thank u 4 100 post #Thanks for 100 followers #!!!!!!#so many of u ><#anyway #Plz don’t be scared 2 send anon or js ask in general #i loveeee answering asks!!!

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ladytauria · 2 years

Text

URL mixtape

tagged by @almostbutnotdeadenough! thanks so much :D

Rules — pick a song for each letter of your name, & then tag that many people!

L - Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) - SMYLES (but i like the original too)

A - Abigail - Wolfy

D - Don’t Put It On Me - Transviolet

Y - YES MOM - Tessa Violet

T - The Valley - Nadiiife

A - Apex Predator - Mean Girls Musical

U - Under - Transviolet

R - Ruin - The

I - In My Head - Taylor Acorn

A - As The World Caves In - Matt Maltese

so um, im probably not going to tag 10 people but i’ll try lmao. pls feel free to ignore this ^.^

@glaciya ; @monkeymindscream ; @aceofshitposts ; @atasteforsuicidal ; @grungekitty-77 ; @radley-writes ; @agentsnickers

#tag meme #music

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cozymochi · 1 year

Note

I this wasnt on the prompt list so pls feel free to ignore, but your previous answer got me curious; as someone who has experienced strain due to overdoing it with art and also really strives for perfection /detail, do you have any words of wisdom and advice on how to avoid that? To stay safe n all ^^ <3

YOU BET IM NOT IGNORING THIS! Tho i’d shudder to call myself wise 🫣 so i’ll just talk or sumn.

I don’t think there’s a full means of avoiding it (the grindset GOES ON!!), but you can at least take care of your hands and wrists. If you feel some kinda tension, it’s really best to just rest and take breaks. As much as I hate being in the zone and feel strain coming on, I actually have to mAKE myself take a break. 😩😩 And do some hand exercises every now and then. WHAT ARE THEY??? I dunno. I googled that crud a while back. Better to rely on medical types for that.

Anyone whose been followin me for a long time and reads the stuff i write in tags might remember a while back that I hurt myself drawing so much. It got to the point it actually was physically uncomfortable to draw for a while. Taking more breaks, and doing more exercises did help ease things a lot.

IT MIGHT NOT SEEM LIKE MUCH but investing in a wrist brace so far is paying off. I need to keep my habit of wearing it especially if drawing for longer periods. Mine isn’t anything special or fancy, but it does it’s job. I only got it fairly recently, but hey 👌 These aren’t really “instant” results, it’s really gradual. Just a mix of developing new habits and stuff.

Oh and on the drawing side I straight up had to learn how to color my work differently, and change up how I construct anything point blank. I couldn’t do it the way I used to, which led to this more… painty-esque look a lot of my more recent stuff falls into. I had to go slower. I’m not saying do this beat for beat, but it should illustrate (no pun intended) how much this physical strain thing affected how I go about making stuff now. I had to adjust a lot kfjdgdjdhdg And letting go of old methods that I MISS 😭

It wAS EITHER CHANGE MY APPROACH or make the strain worse and potentially lead to something irreversible. I’m not in any dire state, I just have to take it easy. So the most u can probably do is also try to take it easy.

I’m not a doctor this is just my experience 😩

#cozy ask

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neelcatsims · 2 years

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Ask Game

@memoirsofasim tagged me! tysm I’m genuinely so excited to get tagged in something lol

Rules: Tag 9 people you would like to get to know/catch up with

Last song: Ghosting by Mother Mother

Last TV Show: oof I haven’t really been watching a lot of TV lately so the last thing was Owl House! doing a rewatch with a friend of mine once a week.

Currently watching/listening to: A looooot of youtube mostly. it’s been a pretty hectic week at work so I haven’t had a lot of free time that I haven’t dedicated to playing sims with a random youtube simmer in the background.

Currently reading: Lindsey Ellis’ sequel to Axiom’s End, The Truth of the Divine. I actually haven’t finished it even though I started it ages ago bc I don’t want it to endddd. I’m also reading a book about the history of French as a language but that’s been an on again off again reading journey for years, but it’s genuinely a cool book. I think it’s called The Story of French? written by a couple of linguists, one of which is french and the other is quebecois. Did u know that French is the like the 4th most spoken language?? it’s all over Africa bc colonists suck lol

Current obsession/hyperfixation: I go through hyperfixations really quickly, my sims hyperfixation is just barely starrrrting to wane, but I guess the most active one is the song Glitter by Daisy the Great. It’s SO GOOD. I’ve also been really fixated on my current project - I designed a collection of apparel patterns that I’m mocking up in the Sims, but it was designed to be used IRL as well. I’m super excited to have portfolio work that’s new bc I haven’t worked on anything big since before I graduated from art school last year.

Tagging, and pls feel free to ignore if you’ve done it already or just like, don’t want to lol: @bobapplesimblr @dieicide @berryconfetti @mangogarden @estah @enchanting-whim @geeky-simz @colormeberry @holocene-sims

#ngl I’m a lil anxious about tagging people bc I’m new but!#hope you guys don’t mind #this is so fun #back when I was on tumblr in like 2013 I never had enough mutuals to do tag games #anyways simblr is fun and I’m very glad to be here

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neuvistar · 1 year

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꒰⠀ ⠀꒱⠀𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍’𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐑.

please make sure you’ve read the guidelines below.

꒰⠀⠀꒱ 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒? 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓? (𝐛𝐲𝐟)

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱⠀this blog is an 18+ multifandom blog, i interact with nsfw n sfw content but minors, ageless, and blank blogs dni. on here, i usually ramble about honkai star rail (hsr), genshin impact, jjk, and occasionally orv.

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱ i’m very lonely on here so please talk and interact w me despite me being shy as hell, i accept anons, name anons, etc! pls pls ask me! <3

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱⠀even though i don’t write these sort of things, i have zero issues with people aging up characters and what not. even though its not really my cup of tea, i really don’t mind so don’t worry !

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱ IMPORTANT. these are some of the reasons why i block certain people— you SPAMMED / SPAM-LIKED, a minor, you’ve made me uncomfortable, you abuse tags, or you’re a blank-blog. at-least decorate your account n put your age in your bio, geez

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱⠀PLEASE DO NOT. I REPEAT DO NOT SPAM-LIKE MY POSTS. listen, i understand if you’re just going through my masterlist or something but please don’t spam-like 5+ times in a row, this will result in a block.

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱ — i procrastinate often, and i have a life outside of tumblr. speaking of this, i have a very inconsistent posting schedule and sometimes i forget to answer asks, forget to do requests, and sometimes i’ll finish wips late. all i ask for you is your patience and don’t rush me

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱ — for mutuals, i can be very shy at times. so for this, please don’t ask to be mutuals unless i want to be mutuals first and all that, i don’t wanna get in awkward situations and i’m sure you don’t either ! feel free to send a few asks and maybe i’ll reconsider if we interact often.

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱ — speaking of mutuals, there are rare times where i break the mutual. i break the mutual if i feel uncomfortable but like i said, that’s rare. another thing to note ! sometimes i might accidentally break the mutual bc i don’t remember who u are :,) bc of change of users, etc! pls send me an ask 2 let me know so I can follow u back !

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱ — i post about all sorts of things ofc but sometimes i can get too carried away and spam too much. i’m aware this isn’t a problem for other people but this is just a heads up! (i talk A LOT)

꒰⠀⠀꒱ 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓? (𝐝𝐧𝐢)

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱⠀minors, ageless blogs, blank blogs, etc. you know it

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱⠀ZIONISTS, homophobic (transphobic, biphobic, lesbiphobic, etc etc), racist, ableist, a proshipper, ignorant, spread and send hate asks for no specific reason, a hater, or if you’re just a jerk in general, shooooo !

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱⠀please absolutely do NOT bring discourse or hate here. i will not entertain you with negativity so it’s no use talking about random bullcrap here. this is supposed to be a safe spot for me, my followers, moots etc. don’t ruin it !

꒰⠀⠀꒱ 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒? 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐄?

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱ please do keep in mind that i write requests if they pique my interest :,) i’m so sorry about that. furthermore, i have the right to decline a request, prompt, or thirst and all i ask is for mutual understanding regarding that.

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱ fandoms i write for?: honkai star rail, genshin impact, jujutsu kaisen, blue lock, orv. i might write for more but this is it for now, send me requests + thirsts etc for characters in these fandoms i mentioned!

꒰⠀ ⭑ ꒱ what i write?: i write mostly fem!reader, and occasionally gn!reader. everything i write fall under fics (short or not, it really depends on how much i wanna write), drabbles, thirsts, you name it.

willing to write?: nsfw + sfw content, angst, fem!reader, anything related to pregnancies n babyfever (watch out for this, i talk about it often but not too often now, just watch out for it!) breeding kink, etc etc. i literally write almost about anything unless it goes against what i DON’T write.

not writing?: incest (step-cest or not idgaf i’m not writing it), male!reader, femdom reader (i’m terrible at writing these), non-con / dubcon, cnc, piss + scat, necrophilia, ageplay, p3dophilia, foot fetish, huge age gaps, any kind of violence, s3lf h4rm, anything related to blood, gore, foot fetish, aged up characters (again, i don’t have an issue on ppl who do), mental illnesses, k!dnapping, hardcore yandere content (hardcore meaning things that include murd3r, etc), daddy or mommy kink (unless if it’s gallagher or toji, sure LMAO), etc

#ᖭི༏ᖫྀ navigation #ᖭི༏ᖫྀ blog rules #all art: secretfj520

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mayasderen · 7 years

Video

Today on this bitch is bored and home alone: she decides to make a tumblr tag Rules: film 90 seconds of your day. It can be filmed separately (and then edited badly together like mine lmao) or you can just film yourself for a minute and a half. Also tag ppl! I tag @shiberosing @literalvampire @comewhatmays @freyasgayplace @evaispan @shook-asfook @itsskylerblue @dodieeclarkk @bonanzza @lesbiannooras and everyone who wants to do it (Also shoutout to dea whom I stolen this entire idea from follow her ig @ spacekervinen and hassukuinkissantassu)

#also if u like got tagged but u don’t wanna coz this is literally like. the biggest invading of privacy and u have to show ur life to #strangers on the internet feel free to ignore this coz I understand that reasonable ppl like. exist #also reblonk this pls coz I worked kind of hard on it and it’s shit but yeah #bertart #don’t look at me

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menalez · 3 years

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hi!! obviously it's not your job to educate a white girl, so feel free to ignore this if you do not have the energy or something. however, as an eastern-european 17yo i don't always know how to best support the women of colour in our community, and that's why i wanted to ask, do you know what are the biggest mistakes white radfems make? and do you maybe have any specific ideas what to do, or what not to do, or who not to engage with on radblr...? i'm just looking for clues, but it's totally understandable if you don't have the time or don't want to reply. i know this question is really... abstract. love your blog, hope you have a great day<3

i think the best ways to support us is to:

listen to us when it comes to issues pertaining to us

look into issues that affect us (misogynoir, racism & how that plays into sexism for other woc, struggles in our countries) to educate yourself on our experiences (this can be done passively thru following blogs that speak on issues relating to, for example, east african women) + be considerate of our sometimes different needs

do not have any tolerance for racists. i dont expect white people to magically know if someone is racist but a lot of the time, racist ppl are called out by various woc & one issue i have w radblr is that white women on here will just.... scroll past it basically

be mindful when it comes to stuff regarding race

don't justify racism, including when its against men. i get it, none of us are fond of men, but racism is wrong regardless of who it's directed at

do not dismiss or belittle racism, and PLSSS im tired of seeing posts where white women act like racism is taken seriously simply bc people virtue signal or dont use the n-word as casually as misogynistic slurs

those are just off the top of my head. as to who to not engage with, i can't tell you what to do there but i do have an entire tag filled w receipts on racism from diff women on radblr. u can go thru it and come to ur own conclusions

if any woc have anything else to add, pls feel free to!! 💕

#anonymous

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clairecrive · 3 years

Note

can u make a nikolai x reader based on the song mr perfectly fine by taylor swift?

Mr Perfectly fine

A/n: Ahh, thank to you friend, I've been jamming to this song every day lmao Hope I've done it justice x Also, I've left out some parts of the lyrics to make it better fit the story.

(if you want, you can add yourself to my taglist here)

for my other masterlists, you can find them on my navigation page

Word count: more than 7K (ikik it took a life of his own, what can I say)

Warnings: bit of fluff, angst (like a lot), character's death, spoiler if you haven't read Siege and Storm

Tagging: @jupiterandbutterflies (Thank you so much for your comment! I saw it and it made my day✨)

(I don't remember where I took this from so if you know pls lmk)

Most people knew of Nikolai Lanstov. He was a prince, the second born and the most charming. Most people knew him thanks to the countless rumours that went around at court: supposedly he was not of royal blood. "Sobachka" was what they called him.

No matter how though, everyone knew of the last Lanstov prince. But very little knew him.

Meeting him wasn't difficult. Since he had been of age, Nikolai had always been out of the Grand Palace and among people. He’d also volunteered to enlist in the first army, refusing any kind of special treatment and fought beside his brothers in arms in the infantry. That was part of the reason why everyone outside the court loved him so much.

Being Grisha meant that fighting in the Second Army was mandatory. Not that you minded. There was nothing you wanted more for your people than to finally be free. Also, that Shadow Fold needed to go and as the Darkling has always said, all efforts are necessary.

That’s how you met Nikolai the first time. Generally, the First and the Second Army were stationed in different parts of the campsite. Numerous quarrels between oprichniki and Grisha had rendered the separation necessary. However, you never liked crowds much and living in the Little Palace meant that you were always surrounded by people. So, every chance you had to draw away and be by yourself for a while, you took it. Also, being a Healer meant that you’d spent more time in your assigned tent taking care of soldiers than among them.

Word had gone around that everyone in need could come to you. Usually, you had been instructed by the Darkling that your powers were reserved for Grisha. However, what good was it to have the ability to cure people and only take care of a selected few that very rarely got seriously injured? Meanwhile, soldiers of the First Army often suffered from severe injuries, fatal gunshots or knife wounds. You could help them and possibly save their lives so why shouldn’t you?

That was why Nikolai found you one night. Sure at that point it was just another nameless soldier to you. He had never been in your tent before so you had never seen his face before. The boy whose arm he had draped on his shoulders though, was a usual visitor of yours.

“Oh, Petyr, what happened this time?” gesturing to his blond friend to lay him down on the table, you started gathering everything you needed. Not that you needed much but you had found out that Petyr was absolutely incapable of bearing having his bones or injuries in general repaired without having some kind of pain reliever before.

After a few tries, you came up with a herbal composition that dulled the pain but didn’t make him unconscious. Using kvas would mean that Petyr would be knocked out for a couple of hours. That would put him in trouble with his superiors.

“He’s a fool, that’s what happened.” The explanation came from his friend after he put him down gently. Despite his words, you could hear in his tone worry and guilt?

“If saving your life makes me a fool then go ahead and call me one,” Petyr huffed in pain.

“Who knew you were so brave, uh?” After quickly shredding the herbs you needed, you poured hot water on it and brought the cup to Petyr’s lips while helping him keep his head up.

“He’s the bravest of us all,”

“If I knew it took a bullet wound to make you hand out compliments so easily, I would have done it sooner.” Scoffed Petyr after sending you a thankful look.

“See? What did I tell you? A fool,” his friend said dramatically and you smiled amused at their playful banter.

“Let’s see what we’re dealing with, shall we?” You said out loud to warn both Petyr and his friend. Letting them know what was about to happen was best, your experience taught you. Both for the person on the table that could brace themselves for what was about to happen and for the person with him that was filled with worry and cautiousness. Oprichniki didn’t trust Grisha that much.

After assessing the damage, you let out a relieved sigh as the bullet had gotten through and it had not hit any major artery. It had already got infected though, so you knew it would be a painful one to treat.

“So, did you receive any letters lately, Pety?” You ask, suggestively wiggling your eyebrows while your hands cover the wound. You had your eyes closed to better focus but you were sure that he had rolled his eyes.

“Only from my mum.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t write her back,” you said, opening your eye just in time to send him a glare.

“Ugh, not this again, y/n, please. Have mercy on me, I’m bleeding all over the table.” Petyr moaned making his friend snicker.

“You’re not bleeding all over the table and if you didn’t notice, I’m already taking care of you, am I not? That doesn’t excuse you for being an idiot, though.”

“Are you two in cahoots or something? It’s not fair. Wounded man over here.”

“Oh shut up.” Both you and his blond friend said at the same time. Petyr moaned once again and you sent a little amused smile to the blondie.

“Should I leave you with a cool battle scar? Maybe acting like a war hero will give you the balls to write to her.” You harmlessly threatened him but your hands were already reconnecting the tissue of his skin without letting it scar.

“I’ve told you, y/n. She deserves better than what I can give her. I am, who knows if I even make it home? I’d be only stringing her along.” Now Petyr was dead serious. It was true, you had talked about this often since he was a regular you got to know him better and he had soon told you about his sweet Katia.

While his friend chanted “fool” like a mantra in the background, you took his bloodied hand in yours, his wound fully healed.

“Petyr, how do you think she’s gonna react when she learns that there hasn’t been any delay to her letters but you’re just ignoring her? Besides, you should let her make this decision too. Who knows, she’ll surprise you.” Squeezing his hand you turned to let your words settle and to put away your utensils. You knew you had given him so much food for thought so you didn’t address the subject anymore. His friend helped him off the table and that’s when you noticed that he was injured too. He had a pretty nasty cut on his lower lip and there was already a bruise forming on his temple.

“Petyr, you can sit on my chair while I take care of your friend. You should be fine but for at least a while don’t stress your body.”

Mentally making a list of the things you need to tend to this kind of wound and where you kept them, you started collecting before heading back to them.

Petyr had sat down but his friend was still standing.

“You don’t have to lie down if you don’t want to, but unless you don’t want me to go take a ladder or something, it would be best if you sat on the table.” You gave him your best reassuring smile as you mixed the healing paste. Sometimes, men didn’t like to put themselves in a vulnerable position with someone they didn’t know and had learned to fear. He wasn’t that badly hurt and it would only take a couple of seconds to fix but not every oprichniki was comfortable with being healed by Grisha power. So the paste would do your job for you. It would take longer, sure and it would also sting a lot more but at least he’d be healed at last.

After looking at you for a little while, the blond man did as you instructed, giving you a dazzling smile in return when you settled between his legs to fix his cut.

“The name is Nikolai or handsome if you prefer.” It was not the first time a wounded soldier tried to flirt with you. IT didn’t bother you, you found them amusing more than anything and you knew it was the allure of someone taking care of them speaking more than any real interest.

“Let’s hope you won’t be around here much for me to learn your name.”

“I’ll have to find another way to make myself unforgettable then.” He winked at you before hopping off the table.

You didn’t address his words, only gave them the paste you had prepared. It would prevent any wound from being infected and would be able to cure small cuts and bruises if applied for a couple of days. With that, you sent them both on their way. Petyr waving you goodbye while Nikolai sent you another wink.

And so this was how it all started.

Mr. "Perfect face"

Mr. "Here to stay"

Mr. "Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away"

Everything was right

Despite your fellow Grisha, military life could be a bit alienating. Which sounded like a paradox, sure, but everyone had their own way of processing trauma and emotions and of course there were plenty of those during the war. If the best way to come to terms with everything that happened was to distance yourself from others and try to find the solution in solitude, it could get to the point where you’d feel alone in a room full of people.

To get a little respite, you’d usually go on a long walk or resort to stargaze. Sometimes, depending on where you were posted, it wasn’t safe to leave the campsite. So, that’s how Nikolai found you one night. Even he had to take a breather once in a while. Being a different version of yourself based on who you’re interlocutor was must be exhausting. Of course, you didn’t know this. You knew nothing about Nikolai at that point if not that he was Petyr’s friend and a socialite, according to other soldiers.

He seemed to be at the centre of gossip no matter what group of people you found yourself with and there also seemed to be a consensus about him. Everyone liked him. Even if it was rare for some Grisha to appreciate oprichniki, you knew they somewhat respected him because if they didn’t praise him out loud, they didn’t speak ill of him either.

“Not a fan of crowds, are you?” he announced his presence before sitting down beside you.

“I love them, I really do. It’s just that sometimes it gets too much.”

“Yeah, I know how you feel.”

“You do? Everyone seems to think you’re a socialite.”

“It’s what I want them to think but alas, I enjoy being more complex and multifaceted than that.” He lightly bumped your shoulder with his, eyes aflame with mischief.

“I bet.” you simply smirked. Despite how everyone seemed to think they knew him, you got the peculiar vibe from him, like there was a lot more to him than what he let everyone see.

“No one seems to know much about you.”

“Maybe you’ve talked to the wrong people.”

“Well, then I guess it’s better if I got straight to the source, don’t you think?”

“That will surely be a better start. Not sure you’ll find what you’re looking for though.”

“We’ll see.”

That night had been the first of many. It had become a sort of an unspoken arrangement between the two of you. While it didn’t last long, you sensed that you got to know him better than everyone. There was something about late nights meetings under the stars that prompted deep and meaningful conversations. It wasn’t hard to form a solid bond with him after a few nights.

The conversations weren’t always personal in the conventional sense. You’d often stray and talk about the most bizarre things. Like why something had the name it had or how cool it’d be if it was possible to pass through surfaces, which led to imagine all the uncomfortable situations one could find themselves in if they were to simply go into a room through its wall.

Nikolai was witty, overly confident and ambitious and he knew a lot of things. You always wondered how he had learned them since he was so young and been in the army for a couple of years already. But Nikolai was never too forward on certain topics, his family and childhood being some of those. You understood, those were sore subjects for you too. So you never insisted. It was much more interesting to listen to him rumble about impossible future projects of his, like a flying ship.

"When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable." He’d say whenever you’d point it out to him. Somehow, despite the absolute absurdity of them, the sheer confidence that he seemed to constantly exude, made you consider the possibility of his success.

You got the distinct feeling that there was nothing this man couldn’t do.

But that was when I got to know Mr. "Change of heart"

Mr. "Leaves me all alone," I fall apart

It takes everything in me just to get up each day

But it's wonderful to see that you're okay

But, alas, as all things do, these encounters of yours also got to an end. You knew it would happen, you were both soldiers so your lives were both heavily characterised by uncertainty after all. However, you were not prepared for it to end so abruptly though. And without an apparent reason. Because Nikolai’s unit hadn’t been posted elsewhere and he hadn’t been fatally wounded. You would have heard of it were that the case. But it wasn’t.

You thought that he had come to cherish your nightly encounters too. Some of those had been full of his promises. How he’d love for you to be around when he’d eventually find the time to work on his ideas. How you had been a nice surprise, a most interesting person among so many dull idiots you were surrounded by every day. How he’d come to value your opinions and presence in his life and that he was going to find a way to make sure that that would never change. Promises that turned to be empty.

You had never allowed yourself to fully believe him. It wasn’t the first time that a boy had made the same kind of promises but Nikolai looked sincere. Honest enough to be believable. But, of course, you had been wrong.

You didn’t realise just how much you had come to rely on him until he was gone. You tried to keep your mind off him and luckily the perfect distraction came your way. The Darkling had scheduled an attack on the enemy’s army and had posted you to be on the field to take care of everyone promptly. You had never been more grateful to the man, even after he had given her a home and a purpose.

Ever since your first encounter with Nikolai, you had thought it had been a blessing. However, you had soon changed your mind and now considered a curse more than anything. Why? Because as soon as you got to the field you couldn’t help but scour the troops for a familiar mop of blond hair. Many looked like him and being this far you couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t one of them but you certainly despised the leap your heart made every time though. That was a distraction you couldn’t afford. Besides, it wasn’t smart to let your heart get involved in times of war.

The battle began, Inferni and Squallers were working together to impair the enemy’s visual so they couldn’t shoot or use their cannons while the First Army marched after them to swap in as soon as the air cleared to catch the enemy by surprise. While your role wasn’t active per se, you were a Corporalki after all, and even if you had been specifically trained as Healer, you had also got one of your friends to teach you the basics of an Heartrender’s work. You weren’t a powerful one but you could hold your ground in a fight. Especially since they weren’t expecting you. And you were still far from any real threat.

The battle dragged on and soon there were wounded soldiers that needed your attention. You hated this kind of work, it was messy and dirty and had to be quick because spending too much time on one soldier could mean dooming another to death. You were accustomed to it by now and soon found a rhythm focusing on ensuring everyone’s survival and not bothering with the aesthetic side of healing. That could be taken care of later if they wanted to.

As soon as your eyes fell onto a crouched figure you sprinted towards them. It was dirty and you didn’t recognize them but you got the feeling it was a life or death situation. Oh, how you wanted to be wrong.

The person crouching turned out to be Nikolai and he wasn’t alone. He was kneeling beside someone, Petyr.

“Where are you hurt?” you hurriedly asked as you tried to assess the damage. His uniform was dirty and full of blood but you couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Trying to answer you, Petyr opened his mouth only to let out the most gruesome gurgling sound as his respiratory tract was flooded by blood.

“He got shot in the gut.” Nikolai offered.

“Is the bullet still inside?” Opening his uniform jacket you tore a piece from his shirt to use it to put pressure on the wound.

“It’s too late,” Nikolai uttered.

“No.” You strongly refused as you removed the cloth and focused on the wound. His heart was straightening and he had already lost a lot of blood. If the bullet was still inside that it was going to be a problem, if it wasn’t then you still had a fighting chance.

“I removed it earlier.” So that was why he had lost so much blood. Nodding your head to show that you had heard him, you set out to stop the internal bleeding. Slowing his heartbeat so that it was pumping less blood and thus eased your endeavour. You were still in the middle of the field and while you were keeping up with the warfare but in the back of your mind, you registered the sounds of screaming and of gunshots getting closer. A bullet hit you in the shoulder propelling you forward over Petyr’s body. Grisha’s kefta were bulletproof so you weren’t worried for your incolumity but for the harsh movement you had made.

Leaning back, you heard Nikolai calling for you but your eyes were trained on Petyr. You tried to listen for his heartbeat but could only hear two instead of three. Nikolai, who had never left your side, immediately understood what had happened by the fall of your shoulders and the tensing of your hands.

He kept calling for you but the only thing you could focus on was that you had let your friend down. Now there will be one more family crying for a loss, another girl mourning a lost loved one. And it was all your fault. It was because of you that Petyr wouldn’t live to see another day, to write another letter or to fight another battle. It was on you.

The details of what happened next were a bit blurred. Someway you must have found your way back to the campsite. Whether you did on your own after tending to everyone else, you didn’t know. Your memories picked up after you woke up in your tent. Someone was calling your name, saying that the Darkling wanted to see you.

Mechanically you raised and made your way to the Darkling’s tent but your mind was elsewhere. Your thoughts were plagued by Petyr’s face, by that godforsaken sound he made when he tried to speak. The realisation that he was gone hit you like a wall of brick that would have made you stumble if you weren't’ sat in front of the Darkling’s desk. Whether he was speaking and stopped after seeing the forlorn look in your eyes or he hadn’t been speaking at all, you didn’t realize. You did hear him say that you were going to be posted somewhere. Under different circumstances you have said something, anything to not let him send you away. Your mind immediately went to Nikolai. You’d be leaving him behind along with the campsite.

However, you now realised that you had already lost him. Losing Petyr had been the last thing that had completely severed your bond. There was no turning back now and part of you was grateful.

Hello Mr. "Perfectly fine"

How's your heart after breaking mine?

I've been Miss "Misery" since your goodbye

And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"

You couldn’t know, of course, but Nikolai had left not long after you did. Albeit for a different reason. He had finally earned the Major rank and as such, he took a step back from military life deciding that his skill would be better suited for a life on the sea. Assuring Ravka the supply she needed but in ways that weren’t exactly suitable for a prince but worked just fine for a privateer. And thus Sturmhond came to life.

As for you, you kept doing your job at your new post but were relieved when a letter came from the Darkling instructing that you were needed at the Little Palace. Part of you had relegated Nikolai to that part of your mind where the unmentionable was, however, a traitor thought whispered that maybe there was a chance that you could see him at the royal grounds. Sure, the possibilities were close to zero but it was still possible, right?

No.

You already were ashamed of the fact that you’re still suffering because of him. And yes, you missed him but you weren’t going to indulge the pathetic hope of seeing him again.

He doesn’t want to see you. If he did, he would have already found you. Or write you a letter if he couldn’t, but he didn’t.

You were right. You knew you were, nonetheless, the thought only brought you a bittersweet feeling.

You found the Little Palace just how you’d left it and yet it seemed changed in a way. The insane amount of work you found there waiting for you helped you drown the feeling that it was you that had changed.

Months passed this way, sometimes the Darkling would post you with him or outside the Little Palace. All in all, you’ve kept busy. When news of the little prince leaving the Palace reached you, you let it wash over you. It wasn’t like it mattered much, whether he was a few feet away or in another nation, Nikolai wasn’t part of your life either way.

When the whole expansion of the Fold happened, you were stationed at the Little Palace. Chaos and terror ensued as soon as the news reached the capital making most of the Grisha flee. Most of them went looking for the Darkling while others simply ran away and hid. You were amongst the first group.

Soon, your life was radically changed. The shift in the Darkling was palpable and it didn’t have anything to do with the scars on his face. You had tried your best to heal them and Genya to tailor them away but somehow, they could not be removed. It was an unsettling thing to realize that they didn’t take away his beauty. One could even say that they enhanced his attractiveness.

He was certainly more powerful. None of you knew what had happened in the Fold that day, just that the Sun Summoner had fled and that there were no survivors apart from him. However, as your journey in pursuit of Alina dragged on, you were soon witnesses of his newfound power.

The nichevo’ya, he called them.

He had always been immensely powerful. One of a kind. But this- this was different. And as dread settled among your group as you watched them in action, realisation sat heavily on your shoulders.

He soon found a trail and traced Alina in Novyi Zem and set out to reach the island by hiring Sturmhond’s crew. He was a famous pirate after all and despite his unreliability, the Darkling was sure that as long as he got his money, he wouldn't be a problem.

In the round trip, you didn’t see much of the captain anyway. Some members of his crew were amiable enough, particularly the Yul-Baatar twins. You had even asked Tamar to spar with you from time to time. Your lessons with Botnik were a distant memory and you knew that mastering combat training skills could increase your chance at survival.

When Alina and Mal were held captive though, that’s when Sturmhond made an appearance. He looked younger than you’d thought and there was something oddly familiar in the way he held himself. Still, you didn't talk with him much. Your job was to take care of Alina and so you spent most of your time in her room.

It wasn’t until the Darkling asked Mal to track Rusalye and consequently spent more time with Alina that you had a chance to talk with him. It was during one of your night shifts when he approached you, the Darkling had wanted some of his to always be patrolling the ship.

“What could possibly make a little thing like you be amidst this wretched company?”

“It’s all a matter of perspective, I guess.”

“The thrill of adventure?”

“There’s plenty of it everywhere you go if you’re Grisha, even if you just go on a stroll.”

“Is that why you follow him?”

“I owe everything to him.”

“I’m sure you realize your role in this.”

“Of course I do. I’m not some naive girl who has a crush on her general.”

“Ah, so who, pray tell, do you have a crush on then, beautiful lady?”

“You’re certainly noisy for a pirate.”

“Privateer,” he corrected you, “there’s not much to do around here is it?”

“Not if you have everyone taking care of it, no.”

“Amuse me.”

“It isn’t wise to let the heart get involved in times of war.” That was all you were willing to share. Yes, he was handsome. Yes, the twinkle in his eyes was oddly familiar but he was a stranger. A dangerous one.

“Those sound like words spoken from experience.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I’d say it’s no fun to only think about war. Life is so much more.”

“Believe me, if I could, it’d be the last thing on my mind. But, alas, l don’t have the privilege to do so.”

You had already lost too much time speaking with him. If someone were to see you or tell the Darkling you’d be in trouble. And you had made it your goal to never put yourself on the path of the Darkling’s anger. So you excused yourself and went back to your rounds.

If only you had stayed and talked to him more maybe you would have understood what was about to happen. Maybe you would have had an enkindling of Sturmhond’s plans. Instead, you were taken by surprise, just like everyone in your group, when Rusalye was spot and a shot was fired. You had found yourself in the uncomfortable position of having to fight against people you had grown to like.

“I don’t want to hurt you, y/n,” Tamar warned you as you stood face to face on the sinking ship dock. Her trusted axes in her hands while your hands were raised ready to attack.

“I don’t want to hurt you either.”

“Then you don’t have to. Come with us.” Her proposition made you gasp.

“That would be treason,” you whispered hoping that the Darkling wasn’t around to hear you. A shiver ran through you as you thought of the punishment he’d give you for even thinking about leaving his side.

“Then you leave me no choice.” She said lowering her arms. Was that guilt you heard in her voice?

Before you could voice your question though, she shouted for her brother and not even a second later, you felt your body grow still. Your eyebrows faltered as you felt your heartbeat slow down.

They were Grisha.

They must have seen you realise because you heard Tamar apologize before everything went black.

Mr. "Never told me why"

He goes about his day

Forgets he ever even heard my name

Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same

You didn’t stay out for long though. As soon as Sturmhond’s crew had left the Darkling’s ship and had safely made it onto the Volkvolny, the privateer had asked for you to be awakened.

There wasn’t enough light for you to realize you were on another ship, what alerted you of your new situation were your hands. They had bound them behind your back. Immediately you started to struggle, hoping to wiggle out of the restraints. To no avail though. Huffing out in frustration, you settled for looking around you and see if there was something you could use. That’s when you noticed him.

“Release me- this instant, or else-”

“Or what? You’re a Healer. Not exactly a violent job, is it?” Sturmhond interrupted you, a smirk on his face since he had the upper hand.

“I don’t need my powers to kick you in the ass, do I?” He laughed but didn’t look remotely threatened. Rather amused, actually.

“Please, you have to let me go. He’ll kill me if-” Panic started to build as you realized that there was no way you could successfully escape.

“He won’t touch you.” A solemn glow took over his eyes. “He won’t ever hurt you again, you have my word.” He promised, looking subtly at your left shoulder. You winced as you realized that he must have seen your scars. The ones left by the Darkling’s niche’voya.

“How can I know if you’re trustworthy? You don’t exactly have a good score, you know?”

“You’re going to find out soon enough. Don’t worry.”

Of course, he didn’t bother offering further explanations. He’d left it at that. You weren’t a captive per se but he left your hands bound, only freeing them when you needed to eat or relieve yourself.

Fruitless were your efforts in making you tell more. He often ate with you and would check in at least twice a day but that was it.

It wasn’t until after you had landed after that forsaken vehicle of his had gotten you through the Fold that you understood. His coming out as Nikolai Lanstov, prince and second in line for the Ravkan throne, had shaken you all to your core. However, you doubted that it had sent a pang to the others’ hearts as it did with yours.

Nikolai Lantsov. The man you had been dreaming about, the one that had left you behind without any sort of explanations, the one you missed so dearly, had been by your side all this time.

You weren’t sure how you felt. It made sense now why his eyes looked familiar and his posture. You then connected that the vehicle you had used in the Fold had been one of the many projects he used to geek about with you. It tasted a lot like betrayal. Not because he had lied to you about his name but because he had tried to get close to you again and had managed to somehow break that growing bond again.

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

So dignified in your well-pressed suit

So strategized, all the eyes on you

Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins"

So far above me in every sense

So far above feeling anything

Even if his secret had been outed thus causing some shift in the dynamics between Nikolai and the two new members of his crew - you suspected Mal was closer to punching him every second that passed- not much had changed for you.

On the outside, you pretty much looked like a prisoner. Albeit a very clean one. You rode with them, hands still bound, scowl ever-present on your face.

Nikolai had not come to see you ever since that night after the Fold. And now it had been almost a week since you had started your journey back to the capital. Whether this was all part of his plan to make you look the part of the captive even more or he was just gutless, you didn't know. It was working either way though.

You liked to think that his reason was simply that he didn't care. He had far too much on his plate right now as it was. Going back to court after years of absence while also making claims to the throne and trying to sway the Sun Summoner your way. It was no easy feat. But hadn't he always liked to say that impossible often meant improbable? A lot of things had changed since that night but even so, you'd still pose your bet on him that he'd be able to achieve anything he set his mind to.

It wasn't exactly that thinking this way brought you actual comfort. Of course, not. But it was better than foolishly hoping for him to still care about you the way you did for him. After all, he had sent plenty of signals that pointed in the other direction.

But then why did he kidnap you? Why take you with him? You weren't that close to the Darkling to be of any use to Nikolai in that way. And, as a matter of fact, no one had come to interrogate you regarding his plans or whereabouts. Then why?

You still couldn't figure it out.

Some days your anger shifted more to frustration and you were ounces away from asking for him yourself. Almost as if he had heard you though, he gave you the final push.

It was the usual day, Nikolai and Alina were riding in the carriage, stopping in every village we passed to meet with the locals. However, this time, before climbing back into the carriage, they kissed.

You were too far to figure out who started it and the details. The gist of it was enough though.

You most certainly were a fool. Still thinking about a guy who didn't give two shits about you, who had kidnapped you putting you in a dangerous situation and you were still wondering whether he felt something for you or not? Pathetic.

You had to do something about your situation and quickly too. Officially, you were a traitor. You had fled and joined the Darkling, that wouldn't make you look good in front of the king. He was a lousy bastard anyway and will probably sentence you to death to set an example. You hadn't survived so much shit to end up at the end of a rope.

So, even though you had initially thought against it since you were so close to home, you decided to escape. You were already headed towards certain death so what was the worst that could happen?

Your hands were left unbound when you were in your tent. One less problem to solve. Closing your eyes, you focused on listening for any nearby heartbeats. You heard two, those of the guards posted outside your tent. Maybe you could find an excuse to call them inside, put them to sleep and then slip away.

That was not exactly what your powers were for but you were desperate. You had to at least try.

And so you did. You called them in and immediately set out to slow their heartbeats. You had almost succeeded in putting them under when someone else slipped in. The last person you wanted to see.

"Am I that bad of a host?"

You didn't meet his ruse though, you knew it would make you lose focus.

"I'm afraid I have to ask you to release my soldiers." As soon as he said it though, they fell unconscious at last. Your chest was heaving by now, using so much power in such a different way was costing you. But you couldn't back down now. It was one on one and you were Grisha and a woman scorned. He stood no chance.

"Move out of my way, your highness."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"You can or I can make you. Your choice." The venom in your voice was unmistakable and it took him by surprise. He gave you a curious look tilting his head to the side like he was seeing you for the first time over again.

"I didn't realize ruthlessness was one of your personality traits."

"You know nothing about me," you seethed. The tip of your fingers flexed, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife and you were already weary.

"It may have been a while y/n, but I like to think I know a good deal about you."

"And I would like to completely erase this last year but you don't hear me yap about how shitty it has been, do you?"

"You never did like opening up much."

"I'm well past the point of sentimentalism, Nikolai. It is coming far too late anyway. And whatever my feelings for you may be, I won't let you put my life on the line." Your posture straightened, stance ready for battle.

His eyes flashed, jaw clenched. His hands closed in fists and he almost looked hurt. But why would he?

"Is that what you think all of this is?" Nikolai always acted aloof. He was always composed and dignified. You had thought it was for his insane amount of self-confidence but now you understood it was for how he was raised. But you recognised the pout on his lips. It was the expression he’d always have whenever he tried to get something from getting to him. To prevent himself from showing emotions.

"You're holding me captive while you go around Ravka parading your latest conquest, flashing your return everywhere. I don't know why you're doing this but I don't care. I've stopped waiting around for you and I certainly won't let your father put me to death."

"You think I'd let him?"

"So you want to do this?" you threw your hands up in exasperation, "Fine. You really want to know what I think?"

"Be my guest."

"I think that the Nikolai I knew would have left out of the blue without so much as a letter. I think that the Nikolai I knew was ready to go to any length to achieve what he believed in. However, I thought that the Nikolai I knew cared about me and what we had but look at me now. So maybe, I know nothing at all."

"You certainly do seem to know a lot of things. But you’re not wrong."

"If this is the way you care about me," I gesture to my tent, "then I'm not sure I want this Nikolai to care for me."

“This,” he said, emulating your gesture, “is to keep you safe. This is my way to ensure that if the Darkling got news of your whereabouts, he’d be sure not to think you willingly left his side and betrayed him.”

“That’s because I didn’t!” You raised your voice in outrage. The nerve of this man.

“Spare me your indignation. I know you hate being at his beck and call, to do his dirty work and be constantly surrounded by warfare.”

“Do not presume to speak for me.” You snapped. You knew it was best to keep a cool head but his cockiness was getting on your nerves.

“Didn’t you? Hate it, I mean.”

“We’re at war, Nikolai. Being away or close to the Darkling won’t change that. At least with him, I was safe.”

“You can’t be that delusional to think that he was protecting you.” He scoffed at your words as if they were the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

“And you can’t be that delusional to think that bringing me back won’t result in your father killing me.” You fired back shifting on your feet. He winced as if you had physically hurt him.

“You have so little faith in me?” His voice was just above a whisper and you knew that your words had struck a chord.

“How can I have any, Nikolai?” your voice softened a bit. “One day you’re telling me how much you value my opinion, you promise me a future where I’d be the first to see your project come to life and then you left. You just left, Nikolai.” And when I was starting to make my peace with it that’s when you come back? Also, let’s not forget about my abduction and your flirting with Alina.”

“So yes, I don’t trust you.” You concluded, crossing your arms on your chest with finality. He just stared at you for the longest time. If someone would come in now, they’d think you were in the middle of a staring contest. Then he sighed and started talking.

“I had to go away. I had already pushed my parents’ limits when I said I wanted to be part of the infantry. So, one day I got a letter written by my father personally and I knew that my time was up. I had been Nikolai for too long, now I had to start being a Lantsov prince.” His eyes were on the ground now, shame making her way in his words.

“So that’s what I did,” he went as he started pacing,”I went to Kerch to study, just like my father wanted. I did what he asked, he couldn’t reproach me anything now. I could never stay too still though, a life of adventure was calling me and I could not ignore it. It was only then that I realized that I could do so much more than sitting in a class, to realistically help Ravka.”

“I couldn’t take you with me. You had such a larger role to play in the army and besides, there wasn’t much I could offer you. So yes, I left. I left thinking that I would find my way back to you eventually.” He had stopped by now, regret was swirling in his shining orbs as he looked at you.

“You could have told me.” You contestated, taken back by all the information he gave you. “I would have waited for you.” A whispered promise for something that would never be now.

“I was afraid, y/n. That’s not my best moment, I know and no number of apologies could ever make it right. But I was afraid of your answer. I knew I’d be asking for a lot and let’s be honest-” the desperation in his tone was evident now, he had unconsciously started to lean towards you but you knew what he was about to say.

“You weren’t sure if the future you were offering me would just end up with me being your mistress, am I right?” Your tone hardened but despite the insulting implication of what you said, you weren’t made at him.

“I’m a prince, y/n. We do not marry for love and this country cannot afford to disregard the advantages that a political union could bring.”

His honesty was as refreshing as it was unsettling. He was right. As soon as you had learned he was a prince, you realized just what kind of future you could have with him. But then he left and that problem did not exist anymore. Neither of you spoke, both of you were seizing the other. You had laid it all out, defences were down putting you both in a vulnerable position.

And someday maybe you'll miss me

“You should have talked to me, Nikolai. We could have figured it out together. If it came to being your mistress to stay with you, then that was my decision to make.” You said softly after a while. It pained for you to say this, you would have never thought that getting closure would hurt this much.

Tears streamed on both of your faces, in front of you had been laid what your future could have looked like. It was everything you had wanted, you could still do your job and have the man of your dreams. You were surprised to find that you wouldn’t mind sharing him with his supposed wife. You had been at court for enough time to know how most marriages went. If he assured you it was only a diplomatic affair but that his heart was yours, that would have been enough. Who knows, maybe she’ll get a lover too.

But now… now you didn’t know if you could ignore everything that happened. You did not trust him nor could you ignore how hurt you were by his lack of communication and thus of trust in you.

But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"

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