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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 months

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The FTC has Big Pharma’s number

On November 27, I'm appearing at the Toronto Metro Reference Library with Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen.

On November 29, I'm at NYC's Strand Books with my novel The Lost Cause, a solarpunk tale of hope and danger that Rebecca Solnit called "completely delightful."

The most consistent bright spot in the dark swirl of US politics is the competence of the Biden Administration's progressive enforcers: people like Rohit Chopra, Jonathan Kanter and Lina Khan, who keep demonstrating just how far a good administrator can go. Anyone can have a vision, but knowing how to execute is the difference between hot air and real change:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/23/getting-stuff-done/#praxis

Take a minute to contrast Biden's administrators with Trump's: Trump's administrators had an ideological vision just as surely as Biden's do, and Trump himself had a much more pronounced and explicit ideology than Biden, whose governance style is much more about balancing the Democratic Party's blocs than bringing about a specific set of policies:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/06/personnel-are-policy/#janice-eberly

But whatever clarity of vision the Trump administration brought to DC was completely undermined by its incompetence (thankfully!). Apart from one gigantic tax break, Trump couldn't get stuff done. He couldn't deliver, because he'd lose his temper or speak out of turn:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/14/when-youve-lost-the-fedsoc/#anti-buster-buster

And his administrators followed his lead. Scott Pruitt was appointed to run the EPA after a career spent suing the agency. It could have been the realization of his life's dream to dismantle environmental law in America and open the floodgates for unlimited, wildly profitable corporate pollution and pillaging. But the dream died because he kept getting embroiled in absurd scandals – like the time he sent his staffers out to drive around all night looking for a good deal on a used mattress:

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/epa-s-pruitt-told-aide-obtain-old-mattress-trump-hotel-n879836

Or his insistence on installing a CIA-style "Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility" (SCIF) so he could play super-spy while reading memos:

https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/26/politics/epa-administrator-scott-pruitt-sound-proof-booth-scif/index.html

Or the time he sent his security detail to the Ritz-Carlton to demand that they supply him lots of little bottles of his favorite hand-cream:

https://www.vox.com/2018/6/7/17439044/scott-pruitt-ritz-carlton-moisturizing-lotion

There were other examples in the Trump administration, but Priutt is such a good case-study. He's like a guy who spent his whole life training to compete in the Olympics, and finally got a shot, only to be disqualified for ordering too much room-service in the Olympic Village. Priutt was wildly ambitious, but he was profoundly undisciplined – and wildly incompetent.

Compare that with Biden's progressive enforcers and agency heads, who showed up on the first day of work with an encyclopedic knowledge of their administrative powers, and detailed plans for using them to transform the lives of the American people for the better:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/18/administrative-competence/#i-know-stuff

The Biden administration's competence translates into action, getting stuff done. Maybe that shouldn't surprise us, given the difference between the stories that reactionaries and progressives tell about where change comes from.

In reactionary science fiction, we enter the realm of the "Competent Man" story. Think of a Heinlein hero, who is "able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyse a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly."

In Competent Man stories, a unitary hero steps into the breach and solves the problem – if not single-handedly, then as the leader of others, whose lesser competence is a base metal that the Competent Man hammers into a tempered blade:

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Creator/RobertAHeinlein

Contrast this with a progressive tale, like, say, Kim Stanley Robinson's Ministry For the Future, where the Competent Man is replaced by the Competent Administration, in which people of goodwill and technical competence figure out how to join forces to create population-scale architectures of participation that allow every person to contribute their skills and perspective:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/03/ministry-for-the-future/#ksr

The right's whole ideology insists that the world can only be saved by Competent Men. As Corey Robin writes in The Reactionary Mind, the unifying factor that binds together conservative factions from monarchists to racists to Christian Dominionists is the belief that a few of us are born to rule, and the rest to be ruled over:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/25/mafia-logic/#mafia-logic

The Reaganite insistence that governments are, by their very nature, incompetent and malign ("The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I’m from the government, and I’m here to help'"), means that conservatives deny the possibility of a Competent Administration.

When conservatives take office and proceed to bungle the most basic elements of administration, they're fulfilling their own campaign narrative, which starts with "We must dismantle the government because it is bad at everything." Conservatives who govern badly prove their own point, which explains a lot about the UK Tory Party's long run of governmental failure and electoral success:

https://apnews.com/article/uk-suella-braverman-fired-cabinet-shuffle-7ea6c89306a427cc70fba75bc386be79

There's a small mercy in the fact that so many of the most ideologically odious and extreme conservative governments are so technically incompetent in governing, and thus accomplish so little of their agendas.

But the inverse – the incredible competence of the best progressive administrators – is nothing short of a delight to witness. Here's the latest example to cross my path: the FTC has intervened in a lawsuit over generic insulin pricing, on an issue that is incredibly technically specific and also fantastically important:

https://www.fiercepharma.com/pharma/ftc-blasts-pharmas-abuse-fda-patent-system-sanofi-mylans-insulin-monopoly-lawsuit

The underlying case is before the FDA, and it concerns the dirty tricks that pharma giant Sanofi used to keep Mylan from making a generic version of Mylan's Lantus insulin after its patent expired.

There's an explicit bargain in patents: inventors can enlist the government to punish their rivals for copying their ideas, but in exchange, the government demands that the inventor has to describe how the invention works in a detailed patent filing, and when the patent expires, 20 years later, rivals can use the patent application as instructions for freely copying and selling the invention. In other words: you get 20 years of exclusive rights in return for facilitating your competitors' copying and selling your invention when the 20 years are up.

Pharma doesn't like this, naturally: not content with 20 years of exclusivity, they want the government to step in and punish their competitors forever. In service to that end, pharma companies have perfected a process called evergreening, where they dribble out ancillary patents after their initial filing, covering minor reformulations, delivery systems, or new uses.

Evergreening got a moment in the public eye earlier this year, with John Green's viral campaign to shame Johnson & Johnson out of using evergreening to restrict poor countries' access to TB medication:

https://armandalegshow.com/episode/john-green-part-1/

The story of pharma is that it commands gigantic profits, but it invests those profits into medicines that save our lives. The reality is that most of the key underlying pharma research is publicly funded (by Competent Administrators who apportion funding to promising scientific inquiry). Pharma companies' most inventive genius is devoted to inventing new evergreening tactics:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/19/solid-tumors/#t-cell-receptors

That's where the FTC comes in, in this Sanofi-Mylan case. To facilitate the production of generic, off-patent drugs, the FDA maintains a database called the "Orange Book," where pharma companies are asked to enumerate all the ancillary patents associated with a product whose patent is expiring. That way, generics manufacturers who make their own version of these public domain drugs and therapeutics don't accidentally stumble over one of those later patents – say, by replicating a delivery system or special coating that is still in patent.

This is where the endless, satanic inventiveness of the pharma sector comes in. You see, US law provides for triple damages for "willful patent infringement." If you are a generics manufacturer eyeing up a drug whose patent is about to expire and you are notified that some other patents might be implicated in your plans, you must ensure that you don't accidentally infringe one of those patents, or face business-destroying statutory damages.

So pharma companies stuff the Orange Book full of irrelevant patent claims they say may be implicated in a generic manufacture program. Each of these claims has to be carefully evaluated, both by a scientific team and a legal team, because patents are deliberately obfuscated in the hopes of tricking an inattentive patent examiner into granting patents for unpatentable "inventions":

https://blueironip.com/patents-that-hide-the-ball/

What's more, when a pharma giant notifies the FDA that it has ancillary patents that are relevant to the Orange Book, this triggers a 30-month delay before a generic can be marketed – adding 2.5 years to the 20 year patent term. That delay is sometimes enough to cause a manufacturer to abandon plans to market a generic drug – so the delay isn't 2.5 years, it's infinite.

This is a highly technical, highly consequential form of evergreening. It's obscure as hell, and requires a deep understanding of patent obfuscation, ancillary patent filings, generic pharma industry practice, and the FDA's administrative procedures.

Sanofi's Orange Book entry for Lantus insulin listed 50 related patent claims. Of these, 48 were invalidated through "inter partes" review (basically the Patent Office decided they shouldn't have allowed these claims to be included on a patent). Neither of the remaining two claims were found to be relevant to the manufacture of generic Lantus.

This is where the FTC's filing comes in: their amicus brief doesn't take a position whether Sanofi's Orange Book entries were fraudulent, but they do ask the FDA to intervene to prevent Orange Book stuffing because "improper listings can cause significant harm to competition and consumers."

This is the kind of boring, technical, important stuff that excellent administrators can do. The FTC's brief is notice to the FDA that it should amend its procedures to ban (and punish) Orange Book abuse. That will make it possible for you, a person who needs medicine, to get that medicine more cheaply and quickly. In America's pay-for-use privatized healthcare hellscape, this could be a life-or-death matter.

There's plenty of things the Biden administration is getting very, very badly wrong, but we shouldn't lose sight of how its progressive wing is making real, lasting change for the better. Competent Administrations are the true peoples' champions. They beat Competent Men every time.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/23/everorangeing/#taste-the-rainbow

#pluralistic

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blueteller · 6 months

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Who are the gods that have been introduced in tcf? What do you think are their power levels and their stance in the story and towards cale?, what do you think about their personalities? (Sorry couldn't keep up with them and i need to know more abo

An excellent question! As of now, there are 11 known or semi-known gods in the TCF pantheon. Let's count them down:

1. God of Death

We don't know his name, but we know him the most out of all of the gods. There's quite a bit to go over here.

First of all, we know that he's a male with white hair, dark skin and pitch black eyes (also, "great complexion" according to Cale lol).

Secondly, he wasn't originally "supposed" to become a god. In other words he wasn't a "Tribulator", or "Single Lifer", which are humans who don't reincarnate after death, due to being born with the potential to ascend. He became a god through sacrifice, somehow. According to the God of Despair – who is notably a liar, so his account is probably not entirely accurate – God of Death killed his "friend" in order to achieve godhood. Presumably that friend was a Single Lifer, and thus had enough Karma to elevate the God of Death to his current status. The World Tree from Nameless 1 (aka. the TCF world) knows this, which is why she warned Cale not to trust the God of Death. (More on the topic God of Despair and God of Death's friend later.)

Third thing we know about him, the God of Death is responsible for transporting – or attempting to transport – at least 3 Choi family members to Nameless 1: Choi Jung Gun, aka. Nelan Barrow, Choi Han, and Choi Jung Soo. Those three were Single Lifers, and thus, have the potential to become divine beings after death. However, Choi Jung Gun refused and became a Wanderer (and beats up the God of Death with a broom on occasion lol). Same happened with Choi Jung Soo, who died before he could get transported to another dimension, but became a Wanderer anyway. Choi Han is still alive, so he isn't one yet.

Also, he currently has no Saints – at least not at Nameless 1. Cage and Cale were his preferred candidates, but they both refused the offer. Which is how we know that the Saint position has to be accepted in order for it to happen.

The God of Death's power is stronger – or at the very least, a natural opponent – of the power of the Sun God, unlike darkness attribute and dead mana. Thus, when Alberu faced the risk of his Dark Elf heritage being exposed by Saint Jack, Cale requested Cage to bless the bracelet Mary created for him with the power of the God of Death, for additional protection. Another instance of this was in the tower in the Empire where a "heretic" – aka. a real Saint – was once imprisoned. The corrupted priests put the God of Death's divine item, a book, into a wall in that tower to suppress her powers, which was said to be very effective.

The God of Death is capable of striking powerful deals with people on the verge of death. For example, the deal with the original Cale Henituse to regress back in time and transmigrate into Kim Rok Soo's body. He is also able to grant deals through sacrifice of one's lifespan, like Choi Han sacrificing the time he would outlive Raon Miru to go help Cale in the Sealed God's Test, or that time when Choi Jung Gun sacrificed his lifespan to create the Sword of Disasters and Dragon Blood Drinking Crown. The God of Death also has the Vow of Death, which can be used to track the people who made it with their lives on the line. The "thread" connecting the vow-makers break if one of them dies, or their soul gets transported into another dimension all of a sudden – as it happened when Cale was put through Sealed God's Test. Not to mention the God of Death has limited precognition, by knowing the place and date of a potential death (which he uses to warn Cale about his potential death on the 8th of November in the Sealed God's Test).

The God of Death's divine items are the book mentioned earlier, which he could use to communicate with Cale and the new prison of the Sealed God, and the mirror, which basically functions as a tablet and means of transport between different dimensions. It requires "invitations" from outside forces, however.

Among people working for the God of Death, there is Choi Jung Gun, who clearly isn't too happy about it considering the broom incident. There was also Lee Soo Hyuk, although that deal expired once he got properly reincarnated as Sui Khan with all his memories from his past life. And of course Choi Jung Soo, who seems to be under similar Wanderer contract as his uncle, although that has not been discussed in depth yet.

Now, the God of Death's personality. First of all, he's obviously an introvert. He does not like socializing at all. However, he does like to bother Cage and Cale for attention because he likes them. He often acts very childish. Certainly very low emotional intelligence (I am never forgetting when he basically wrote Cale a letter saying: "Hi, I'm a huge fan of your work, your best friends' deaths are your fault by the way, also you're gonna die on your next birthday – good luck lol"). But he is intelligent where it comes to strategy. Cale's transmigrations seems to be entirely his idea. He certainly felt bad about his curse accidently affecting him by proxy, but was unable to undo it before the transmigration.

While the God of Death certainly has good intentions – meaning he's trying to prevent people from dying – the way he does thing is certainly in the morally gray area. He often does not ask for permission – like kidnapping teenage Chois and putting them in mortal danger. He also basically never apologizes. I'd put him in a True Neutral alignment, as I doubt he qualifies to be in the "chaotic neutral" category.

On his relationships, we know that he loves Cage (who is apparently the reincarnation of the Glutton Priestess) and Cale (whom he had been observing since early childhood). He also gets along with Super Rock and Cheapskate (the Gods, not the Ancient Power versions of them). He has a working relationship with Angelina the Sun God, and the God of War as well. He also fears the God of Balance – for a good reason – but wishes to see her face, so he probably doesn't really respect her as much as he fears her.

Also, he's passively suicidal. He wishes he could die enough that he explored all the options, as he discussed it with Angelina. He did not find a way for a god to die, despite being the God of Death himself. Thus it's safe to say he has low self-esteem and is probably heavily depressed.

Lastly, he hates the Hunters with a passion. It's safe to say he was not one of them when he was still alive.

2. Sun God(dess); aka. Angelina

Her name and gender were revealed at nearly the end of Part 1. Angelina's backstory, as told by the World Tree to Cale, is that she was a Tribulator who met an evil Dark Elf when she was still alive. After achieving godhood, she declared that he would erase all darkness, aka. darkness attribute and dead mana races. Thus, her Church became heavily racist as result.

She let it go overtime however, eventually deeply regretting her attitude, as the God of Death described her going from "bold and radiant" to "sulking in shadows". Just like the God of Death, she became disillusioned and depressed enogh to consult him on possible ways of gods commiting suicide. Her full regret was shown in how she let Alberu trade his family's curse for a way to contact Cale in the Sealed God's Test, by possessing a Dark Tiger monster. Also, she hired Choi Jung Gun to steal Taerang (Ahn Roh Man's AI shape changing Spear) from Earth 3 so that Alberu could use it against the Lion Dragon.

Her Saints are Jack and Hannah – or at the very least intended Saints. Angelina split the power between the two of them, Jack getting the power to heal, and Hannah the light attribute and sword skills at Swordmaster level. However, while Jack embraced his powers and the position of a Saint, Hannah refused them. So it's possible that only Jack is a Saint, now...? Not 100% sure how that works.

Her powers include "purifying" – aka. destroying – dead mana, however it is unable to heal people poisoned by it. Thus the reason why Jack was unable to touch his sister after she absorbed dead mana with the help of necromancer Mary. However, later on Angelina somehow changed how her powers worked for dark attribute and Jack was able to touch his Hannah again, as well as Alberu. I'm not 100% sure why or how that happened. Presumably part of Angelina's "redemption arc".

Angelina's divine item was called "Condemnation of the Sun". Unlike the intimidating name, its original form was a small cracked mirror which Cale found under a trash can. Jack was able to extract the true for of the divine item from it in a time of need, which was a white sword. Hannah used it to defeat Bell Tower Master, Lich Bernard.

Due to both Jack and Hannah being blond, as well as both Crossman and Mogoru Empire royal families claiming that the Sun God's blessing was connected to golden hair and golden eyes, it's easy to assume that Angelina was a golden blond herself. However, as we had not gotten her physical description yet, it is merely speculation at this point.

...She also has a warehouse with wine, which is apparently pretty good, according to the God of Death. Makes me wonder if she's not an alcoholic... I mean with her depression, it would make sense. (I wonder what she uses to make the alcohol tho, lol)

3. God of War

A lot of things are undertain about this god. We don't even know this god's gender yet, much less their appearance personality. We can make some guesses based on what little we know, however.

First of all, the Saint of this god is Deputy Priestess of the demon worshippers in Endable Kingdom, Cotton. Cotton was heavily undercover as a Saintess. She was able to create "shelters" for Eruhaben and the others while Cale was trapped in a black orb by the Sealed God's Test. From this, we can conclude that despite the title, the God of War's power are not actually connected to the violence of war at all; quite the opposite. It seems like this god is more concerned with preventing bloodshed and espionage work connected to ending war early. Perhaps that is a new development, like with Angelina, or perhaps it was that way since the beginning.

Secondly, there is information which is not 100% confirmed to be about the God of War, but is heavily implied to be. The God of War's Saintess used to be the Water of Judgement, Cale's Water Ancient Power's original owner. She was a slave, before one god freed her and had her working for them instead. Water of Judgement was much displeased with this, and with the help of Cale's other Ancient Powers, eventually escaped to the Eastern Continent and renamed herself Sky Eating Water. This all took place in the north, in the area where the Paerun Kingdom later came to be. The same god was responsible for creating a river for the frozen land, but because the locals decided to hoard the water for themselves by turning the river into a lake, and tried to control and/or rejected Sky Eating Water, the god became furious with them. They left a divine item in the shape of a watering can, which Cale found in an old farming shed.

It all has yet to become revelant to the story, but it's quite an interesting bit of backstory nonetheless. (Like I said, it's not 100% sure it's all about the God of War, but it's the only one who fits.

4. Sealed God; God of Despair

The first member of the Hunters who managed to become a god. Whether by accident or otherwise, this person – who we only know is male – managed to kill a Single Lifer, and with the power of their Karma, ascended despite not being born a Tribulator.

Thus, the Hunters became obesssed with creating more gods by killing as many people and creatures as possible for the power of Karma. Also including entire Worlds, as Worlds are sentient beings with a ton of Karma themselves.

Apparently, gods can become stronger through getting Karma even after achieving godhood. Because the God of Despair continued hunting and killing Sinle Lifers. He said that he killed 10, and was about to kill the 11th when he "got caught". We can assume that whatever happened then was either directly or indirectly caused by the – living and mortal at the time – God of Death, who was friends with the 11th Single Lifer target. Perhaps God of Death unwittingly took his friend's Karma through a mercy kill, causing his ascension. Whatever actually happened at the time, it ended with the God of Despair getting "arrested" – presumably by one or more of the Old Gods – and sealed away in his own temple statue as punishment. The seal wasn't perfect, however. The Hunters had methods to summon the Sealed God's Temple in different dimensions for it to harvest despair, in the hope of releasing the God of Despair once more. Cale eventually managed to use Embrace on the Sealed God and sealed him away for good in the God of Death's divine item.

Cale described the statue of the Sealed God as looking serene and beautiful – before turning furious and demonic – so if it depicted the God of Despair accurately, it's quite possible that he was once very good looking.

The God of Despair has an extremely merciless, evil personality. He describes himself as the personification of malice and wickedness. He controls Unranked Monsters and is worshipped by the demonic race. He makes very cruel tests for people which are nearly impossible to succeed at, but he is still limited and has to follow certain rules. ....that doesn't stop him from being an a**hole about it tho, as it showed when he "rewarded" Cale's success in his Test by gving him the whole 10 minutes for saying goodbye. What a bastard.

God of Despair is a liar, a manipulator, who does not hesitate to do whatever he needs to get what he wants. He used the White Star as his pawn and did not hesitate to try replacing him with Cale Henituse the first chance he got. He also got completely abandoned by the Hunters once Cale sealed him away. So it's easy to guess that despite all his self-importance of being "the first Hunter to become a God", he isn't actually the leader of the Hunters – not the King, nor the King's Successor.

In the end, the Sealed God is just as much of a puppet in the game of the Hunter as the White Star himself. Poetic.

5. God of Protection; Super Rock

Due to some of the original owners of Cale's Ancient Powers ascending after their deaths, the Super Rock inside Cale's Earth Attribute and the God of Protection are essentially two different people. However, since we know things about Super Rock the Ancient Power, we automatically know some things about the God of Protection, too.

First of all, he likes Cale and wishes for him to succeed. He left Cale a necklace with a pebble, presumably with a purpose to use later on. Secondly, he's still rivals/best friends with Cheapskate, aka. God of Purifying Fire. The live together in an area which seems like a burned mountain. ....Makes sense to me, lol.

God of Protection is said to be quite powerful – powerful enough to face the God of Balance, who is one of the Old Gods. How his powers currently function is unclear, but we can use our imagination and assume that it has to do with both Earth and Protection.

I don't recall any physical descriptions of him in the novel. We know he faced the Ancient White Star in battle and was known as the Guardian of the Land of Boulders – future Forest of Darkness area – so he must have had the body of a powerful fighter.

Also, according to Choi Jung Gun's journal, he was quite grumpy when he first met him. From the way he acts with Cale as an Ancient Powers, his personality falls into the "harsh but worried grandpa" category.

6. God of Purifying Fire; Fire of Destruction aka. Cheapskate

Just like with the God of Protection, aka. Super Rock, we know things about him via Cale's Ancient Power. But we also got a physical description, thanks to the Pope of the Fire of Purification Church! His hair was burning red, just like Cale's (probably a bit more orange than blood red tho, which is more of a Thames characteristic color).

Cheapskate is certainly someone who was very greedy for money in life. It is unclear if he got over it after his ascension, but it's doubtful. He achieved godhood after setting the northern half of the Western Continent on fire all at once, to get rid of dead mana and black magic golems, giving even the World Tree quite the scare.

His powers involve Purifying Fire, which unlike Angelina's power are able to purify without harming those with the Darkness Attribute. His divine item is a stove which emits purifying smoke, to heal living jiangshi from dead mana in their hearts in Part 2. Cale is allowed to keep this divine item until his own death.

When Cheapskate appears before Cale, he shows up as a cute puppy, wagging his tale for validation. He is generous (unlike the God of Death, in Cale's eyes) and seems to like Cale a lot, just like the God of Protection. Possibly because Cale has their Ancient Powers, but more likely because they see themselves in Cale and thus appreciate him and his efforts.

Unlike the God of Protection, who faces the God of Balance head on in a fight, God of the Purifying Fire seems to be quite scared of her due to the whole hiding-as-a-puppy thing.

7. Blue Wolf

This one is the lest certain of all the deities, but I decided to mention them as the God of Death spoke about them in the journal, as well as told Cale to seek them out when they head out to Aipotu, aka. the World of Dragons which has been taken over by the Hunters. Apparently this deity wil help Lock, and it's possible their deal with help explain why Wolf People are considerd a race "abandoned by the gods" (they can't use potions for example) despite not having a Darkness Attribute.

Basically, I'm pretty sure this guy is a Wolf God of some sort and their whole deal will be explored later on.

8. God of Balance

One of the 4 "Old Gods", meaning gods who did not manage to find any replacements for a very, VERY long time, and as the result are some of the oldest gods running around.

This does NOT mean that they are the "first" gods of their kind, however, as all gods can – and wil – retire one day, and thus the position is passed down sooner or later. It simply means they are especially picky with their successor, for one reason or another.

The God of Balance is a woman who wears heels (presumably for the intimidation factor) and likes to approach from behind, making the other person frozen in place and unable to turn around to look at her. (Which is why the God of Death tried to encourage Cale to try to get a peek on ther misterious face.) She is capable of inflicting pain even upon the God of Death, who is notably powerful. She is a very harsh person who has strict rules and is extremely displeased when people try to go against them. She wrote an entire rulebook, in fact, as Central Plains once mentions to Cale looking it over to see if certain things are allowed.

She is clearly obsessed with order and control, as her biggest opponents are the God of Chaos – her natural opposite – and Hope, who defies both Balance and Chaos.

She wants to press Cale into becoming a god under her in order to keep her under control. Cale definitely does not like that, and thus it's impossible it's actually going to happen.

9. God of Hope

Officially Cale's favorite god, as it's the only one who respects his slacker life dream and sincerely wishes him luck with it.

Hope met Cale only once, but was quite revealing about their personality during the meeting (even though we did not get any physical description nor gender reveal yet). First, they did not want to become a god, but felt obligated to as someone was needed for the role at the time. Secondly, they consider the lust for power "repulsive". Lastly, their power comes from people being inspired and hoping, thus while not always powerful, Hope can on occassion become more powerful than Balance.

Hope and Balance are clashing forces, because Hope goes againt and beyond the order of Balance to achieve the impossible.

...out of all the possible roles, if Cale actually becomes a god himself in the future, I'm betting him becoming the next Hope is the most likely outcome. However, Hope kind of made me think that Cale's perfect ending will be avoiding exactly that fate. So perhaps, Cale will avoid becoming a god in the first place with their help.

10. God of Chaos

Only mentioned as the opposing force of Balance. Nothing more is known just yet. One of the 4 Old Gods.

11. Unnamed 4th Ancient God

The last of the 4 Old Gods. Nothing is known about them yet beyond the fact that they exist. However, as @crazystorygirl pointed out, it might actually be the God of Fate, as they were mentioned in the God of Death's journal among Hope and Balance, so that would make the most sense. Fate would also fit thematically with Hope, Balance and Chaos, which are all themes showing up frequently in TCF.

...Phew! That was much longer than I expected. I hope it helps you!

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antifainternational · 1 year

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Far-Right Mass Shootings, May 2022-May 2023

Now that we know that the mass murderer in Allen, Texas was a far-right extremist and incel (as well as that puzzling but not-that-uncommon mix of being a racialized neo-nazi/white supremacist), we wanted to illustrate that mass shootings by the far-right are not aberrations with this list of similar events from over the last twelve months: December 23, 2022: A gunman opens fire in Paris, killing 3 Kurdish people & wounding 3 more in a plan to “kill non-European foreigners.” The attacker had just been released from prison after attacking migrants in Paris with a sword the year before. December 19-20, 2022: 22-year-old Anderson Aldrich enters a CO. gay bar with an assault rifle & opens fire, killing five and wounding 25 others before he is subdued. November 25, 2022: A 16-year-old former student storms two schools in Aracruz, Brazil, armed with two pistols and wearing a bulletproof vest emblazoned with a swastika. The teen shoots 16 people in the rampage, killing three of them. October 12, 2022: After posting an online manifesto against Jewish & LGBTQ+ people, a Bratislava, Slovakia teen shoots three people outside a local gay bar, killing two and wounding the third person before fleeing. The suspect was found dead the next day. September 27, 2022: Brothers Mark & Michael Sheppard are charged with manslaughter for opening fire on a group of migrants getting water near Hudspeth County, TX. One victim died from gunshot wounds, and one is recovering at an El Paso hospital. September 26, 2022: A gunman wearing a balaclava and a t-shirt with a swastika emblazoned on it enters an elementary school in Izhevsk, Russia, killing 15 people - 11 of them children - and wounding another 39 before turning the gun on himself. September 11, 2022: 53-year-old Igor Lanis’ obsession with far-right conspiracies ends when he guns down his wife, 25-year-old daughter, & family dog, before turning his shotgun on responding police, who shoot him dead. Only his daughter survives. August 9, 2022: A group of Black men helping someone jump-start a car in a Macon, GA. Wal-Mart parking lot are subjected to racial abuse by another man who then pulls a gun and begins shooting at them. May 15, 2022: 68-year-old David Wenwei Chou is charged with hate crimes after storming a Taiwanese church in Laguna Woods, CA. and shooting parishoners, killing one and injuring five others

May 14, 2022: An 18-year-old white supremacist opens fire in a supermarket in a black neighbourhood in Buffalo, NY, killing ten customers and wounding three others while livestreaming the attack.

May 11, 2022: A masked gunman walks shoots 3 Korean women working in a Dallas hair salon. Authorities believe the incident is connected to two earlier drive-by shootings targeting Asian-owned businesses in the Dallas area on April 2nd and May 10th. This is just a list of mass shootings committed by bigots, fascists, and far-right extremists over the last 12 months. We haven't included shooting with less than two victims, thwarted mass shootings, or any of bombings, stabbings, vehicle attacks, or other acts of violence.

In 2022 we documented 477 violent incidents motivated by hate or committed by bigots, fascists, or right-wing extremists, including 112 shootings. These attacks killed 366 people and injured 399 others. Read our 2022 report here. When we say anti-fascism = self-defence, we meant it. The endpoint for far-right ideology is mass murder. Fascists intend to do harm to our communities and will seize on any opportunity to hurt others. The only thing stopping them is ourselves. WE PROTECT US!

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scoobydooisadetective · 10 months

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Timeline (So far)

This won't include MER's accusations. You can read a breakdown here.

Any opinion, thought or rumor will be in italics.

2022

March — ?

MER says they started dating by the end of march, when they went on a trip together on her statement.

Tenoch said in his statement this relationship lasted a few months.

April

Elena is part of the podcast El feisbuk de la Malinche Podcast con Prietxs

August

22: Representative Ana Valenzuela (PAN) presents a law to sanction stealthing (thank you @luzsp9-1981 for the screenshot). It's not approved.

29: First approach from el Feisbuk de la Malinche to pay MER

October

27: Second approach from el Fesibuk de la Malinche to pay MER

November

11: Black Panther Wakanda Forever hits theaters and it's a massive success.

14: Los pájaros en el Alambre say that MER wants a political career in this post

26: Tenoch meets mexican president Andrés Manuel López Obrador (AMLO/political party: MORENA) and they watch a soccer game together.

December

2: Elena calls out Tenoch for the first time in a podcast. She does it at the end and links it to the AMLO reunion. (around 14:00)

She says, "Of course it is a political act to have the president inviting a football player, for him to invite another politician who's from opposition and of course, when he invites them, things don't change, they are just stances, social status that the president sends as a message. And I don't have anything against the president. Recently, he invited Tenoch Huerta. How is it possible that we, the ones that live in the town, are actually fighting against racism. And he can represent, for his brown skin, whoever he wants to in the movie that came out, but it's not fair that there are brown representations... It's not worth at all if they're sexual offenders. I leave it at that."

(Sorry if it was a messy translation, but she kept getting distracted)

youtube

17: Third attempt from El feisbuk de la Malinche to pay MER

2023

January

Allegedly, Elena starts mentioning Tenoch as a sexual offender in reels and livestreams. Sadly, we don't have proof of this. But @cutelatinagirl can testify this one. She and a friend.

23: Fourth attempt from El feisbuk de la Malinche to pay MER

April

7: Luz Valdés calls out Hijos del Maíz for taking advantage of Feliciana Bautista for the Rebozo Tenoch wore on Milan's Fashion week. Tenoch had nothing to do with it, but he was thrown into the polemic. (He wore the cape back in september, 2022)

(This is a rumor, but some people think Luz and Elena are friends, as of July, 1st. they follow each other on SM

She also supported MER's claims against Poder Prieto

)

8: Tenoch makes a statement about the situation

13: Fifth attempt from El feisbuk de la Malinche to pay MER

14: Tenoch makes another statement. This one also alludes to the Rebozo polemic, but adds:

Since his meeting with AMLO, the attacks towards him have risen. They have reached the point of various groups attacking his career, intimacy and even doxxing his family (adresses, workplaces and his daughter's schools).

He calls out the press for the lack of rigurosity when writing the news about the rebozo.

He talks about how now that his fame has grown, the attacks have too.

He says that he doesn't agree with everything AMLO does, like what happened in Ciudad de Juárez, where 40 immigrants died.

He mentions he's receiving legal advice.

June

Sixth attempt from El Feisbuk de la Melinche to pay MER

MER calls out Poder Prieto for sharing the podcast, asking them to pay her. She calls Tenoch a predator. She also says in her IG story that Poder Prieto treated her badly because they were defending Tenoch

"What are the important achievements made by Poder Prieto? What topics have they put on the table? Serious question.

She replies. "That Tenoch huerta pretends to sleep with young women when they arrive at Kapital Films, I mean, Poder Prieto".

---

Tenoch has the table read for his new project Fiesta en la Madriguera:

10:

She's asked about context for the accusations. She replies "Slow, dear, there's no rush"

Talked about the Rebozo polemic and what Maya Zapata did

"[About maya] the one that mocked an artesan that's younger than her and then uploaded a video like 'your envy feeds my ego'?

MER replies: "The one that in her Festival Poder Prieto asked more artesans to go free at los Pinos (because they aren't famous, they're making them a favor)

(Not related to Tenoch, but I think it's important to show she seems to have something against Maya and Poder Prieto)

When asked "why is Tenoch a sexual offender and predator?" she replies "because he is, why else?"

When asked if Tenoch had sexually assaulted her, she replies "yes, and many more".

She says that Poder Prieto protects the sexual offender and predator Tenoch Huerta. She also states they went to look for her at a concert so there wouldn't be any polemics because of his Marvel movie (and she tags Marvel Latam).

She also tells Maya Zapata directly "I'm not playing".

Tenoch replies to the accusations, denying them:

11:

Talks about how hard it is to speak up about emotional and power abuse. (Changes the allegations. Mind you, she was saying he sexually assaulted her in the latest tweets).

Shows screenshots of random people threatening her with acid. Calls Tenoch a "abuser, manipulator and sexual predator".

15:

She issues her own statement

In it, she doesn't directly adress him when referring to stealthing.

Basically says he ghosted her

She says that Tenoch sleeps around with women in Poder Prieto and a lot of them do it because they want to advance in the movie industry.

16:

She posts the statement in english

17:

She's confronted about the accusations made by different sources about the way her family lived in Oaxaca (these are supported by legal papers). Says those are "paid campaigns" by Vera Carrizal (her attacker) so they can silence her.

21:

Makes a thread. In it, she says "They are not unsubstantiated accusations. Rape is not fiction and is substantiated."

Takes her three hours to post the first "proof".

It's an anon

The anon accuses him of stealthing. There's no proof because the anon deleted everything.

Tenoch exits his movie Fiesta en la Madriguera. He sends a statement to the news. He mentions he will be taking legal action.

youtube

22:

We get a different anon. Now it's a dissorted voicemail. (And a weird emphasis on her age). Again, no proof.

23:

shows more "proof". now it relates to raciel rivas.

in these screenshots we learn that she might have accused tenoch of stealthing because a woman called raciel rivas out and tenoch dismissed it, saying he does it too. she had this message since june 12th, and if you remember, she issued her statement on june 15th.

24:

Raciel Rivas denies what MER said, therefore, tenoch being there saying those things never happened either.

Raciel Rivas asked his ex partner to speak up. Video is here.

26:

Her acid attack case has its mid-hearing. She asks not to use proof unrelated to the fact. You can see it here.

She also says she won't refer to the other accusations (aka, Tenoch) for the time being.

27:

(After she said she wasn't going to talk about it)

Another anon post. Again, no proof. (And mostly shaming a brown man for his kinks)

29:

Los pájaros en el alambre, an independent news outlet, say her lawyer is connected with the PAN and they made up the story about tenoch to boost the law made by Ana Valenzuela. They also say she wants to be a representative.

(Read it here)

--------------------

A few comments about it:

So far, she hasn't been able to prove that he has sexually assaulted, or r*ped a woman.

She has blocked most of tenoch's fans and journalists who approached her to talk about the topic.

Statements made by her about her mental health have resurfaced (here).

A lot of people from Oaxaca have spoken up about what happened there and her connection to murat, she blocks them.

MER's connections to transphobic groups have resurfaced (here)

It's election year in Mexico

that's all I can think about for now. I hope this helps anyone who's lost see what's up. If I missed anything, please add it!

#tenoch huerta #timeline #sort of

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sirfrogsworth · 5 months

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The Pretty Average Trump Trauma

I really picked the wrong week to have a controversial post go viral.

The appeal deadline for my disability case is very soon and we just recently got the last of the medical records. My lawyer can get very busy and hard to reach. And I have been freaking out trying to get a hold of him to make sure everything is ready to be submitted. Thankfully he just emailed and said everything is on track and will be sent in for the appeal.

But having this weighing on me behind the scenes while also dealing with the blowback from my "vote for Biden" post caused me to enter into some unhealthy arguments and lose my temper on several occasions.

I didn't actually think about what would happen if that post went viral. Sometimes I write things and a hundred people see it, and it serves as a catharsis because I was able to get my thoughts and fears out of my brain.

And sometimes it gets reblogged 6000 times and I can forget I have a platform where that happens from time to time.

I wish I had written a better initial post. I think my thoughts in subsequent posts, along with the inclusion of what I think is a better strategy, would have gone a long way to help people understand my point of view. Looking back, that original post feels incomplete.

The post that ended up going viral was not inspired by reason or logic and it was never really meant to convince anyone of anything.

I thought I was preaching to the choir.

It was a representation of my fears. It was the result of two years of panic and trauma from the pandemic which ended in my mother's horrible death.

Let me explain...

On November 9th, Shaun, a YouTuber I respect, posted this.

And it scared the hell out of me.

A very popular leftist with a huge platform wrote this to 5 million people and I freaked out.

Shaun wasn't necessarily saying not to vote for Biden at the time. But he thinks people should all say they won't vote for him unless he calls for a ceasefire. I get the strategy. But I feared that nuance would be lost on many people and they would only see it as "don't vote for Biden... no matter what." Which was an accurate prediction on my part. The guy from Eve 6 has been going nuance-free for weeks now.

The one thing I greatly disagree with Shaun about is this...

Before the pandemic, I might have understood his argument. For the first two years, Trump was mostly an ineffectual goof. He had trouble getting a lot of his worst ideas to manifest. Most of the border wall he built ended up being repairs of existing barriers. And Obama droned civilians and kept kids in cages too—though Trump kept them in cages indefinitely and made up a rule that we can't actually know how many civilians he was droning.

So, a lot of the same, but turned up to 11.

But nothing about the pandemic response was pretty average.

There is something I have been choosing not to say during all of these discussions. I felt like saying it would be poor timing. I was worried people wouldn't actually agree with me. I worried it would make people think I was turning suffering into a competition. I didn't want to make it look like I valued certain lives over others. But then people accused me of all of that anyway. I was called evil and a collaborator and a supporter of genocide.

So I'm going to talk about it. Because the fact that few have mentioned it in these discussions has been bothering me. And the fact that the majority of society does not mention it makes me feel very alone in this belief.

I have long believed Trump and the majority of US conservatives committed a genocide of the disabled and elderly. I was never really comfortable calling it that word. I wasn't really sure how a genocide got classified as such. So I would just say things like, "40% of people who died during COVID should still be alive" and "Trump is responsible for hundreds of thousands of COVID deaths" and "Trump killed my mom" and hoping people would make the connection or at least see it as mass murder. I mean, this country judges everything by how many "9/11s" something is, but not the pandemic?

Donald Trump was the leader of the Republican party. When he refused to wear a mask due to vanity, his followers looked for something to excuse him. And I feel that directly birthed the "masks don't work" movement among conservatives. Donald Trump, having enormous influence among his acolytes, refused to correct this dangerous rhetoric. And he probably welcomed the cover so he could continue going maskless and not smear his makeup—even after he nearly died.

It is my belief this was the beginning of a genocide of apathy, deliberate and accidental incompetence, and non-compliance. And the reason for that non-compliance was not freedom as many claimed.

Conservatives did not like being inconvenienced.

They didn't like having to consider others.

And if competence requires effort and vigilance, they'd prefer doing the bare minimum.

Trump was famous for not filling vital administrative positions in the executive branch. Not only that, his turnover rate was 5 times higher than previous administrations. People were asked to do the job of several people because they didn't staff properly, and so those people quit. Thus creating a cycle of inexperienced new-hires that were out of their depth and asked to do much more than they bargained for. There is no way they could succeed in their jobs.

I think people forget that part of the role of the executive is the day-to-day boring administrative shit that is required to run a country. And when this day-to-day work isn't valued, it creates a crisis of incompetence. Which then creates things like not enough tests, not enough testing, Trump saying "if you don't test, it doesn't count", botched vaccine rollouts, rampant misinformation, poor education of the populace, and abysmal improvised press conferences where the President does a quick riff on injecting bleach.

This competence aspect is one of the hugest reliefs I had with the Biden administration. Not Biden. Not his policies. I'm talking about the regular workers getting shit done. This is the reason I am desperate to get my shit worked out with Social Security before the election. I once called Social Security during the pandemic and I literally got a recording saying to try calling back the next month.

Trump didn't care. People criticized him for not hiring people. He was aware of the problem. He just did nothing about it. And many conservatives praised him for "trimming the fat" or whatever. This idea that all of these government workers were useless burdens on the taxpayer fell apart during the pandemic.

There is incompetence caused by ignorance but it can also be a deliberate act. Trump was extraordinary in all forms of incompetence. He wasn't qualified to manage a pandemic. But he could have easily appointed experts and then gotten out of the way. But his narcissism would not let him cede power to anyone. He has always been convinced "only Trump can save you" and so his ego helped kill nearly half a million people.

Once the incompetence ball got rolling, that's when malicious apathy reared its ugly head. It was time to choose who they cared least about dying—who they felt was most useless. Conservatives decided it was time to devalue lives and start making sacrifices to save politicians' money laundering fronts small businesses.

Popular conservatives were going on TV and saying it was okay if Grandma died. It would be a worthy sacrifice to protect our freedoms.

The Lt. Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick, basically offered up the elderly for sacrifice all while claiming that he spoke for them and was also willing to die. Though I don't take his personal willingness very seriously, since he has the money and resources to get the best medical care and probably had no expectation he was in any danger.

“No one reached out to me and said, ‘As a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren?’ But if they had? If that is the exchange, I’m all in. So my message is let’s get back to work. Those of us who are 70-plus, we’ll take care of ourselves.”

But you cannot just sacrifice the elderly. You may justify it by saying they have lived a long life, but many of the same health risks were shared by the disabled. Many of whom still had normal lifespans, but just needed extra care and protection.

There are countless elderly who cannot "take care of themselves" but they are still of value to our society. They are still loved. They watch and teach their grandchildren. They are the keepers of the family stories. They bake cookies and give you two dollar bills. They have random bowls of butterscotch all throughout their house.

But some need help. Some are sick. Some can't drive. Some can't walk. I guarantee not all of them were prepared to die for the cause.

And none deserved to die for a sports bar.

Oh, didn't I mention?

Dan Patrick owned a chain of sports bars that were losing money from the lockdowns. Did you really think he was sacrificing old folks "for the children"?

Thankfully Dan's sports bars are gonna be okay. He ended up receiving a $179,000 PPP loan... that was forgiven.

Then they started saying COVID deaths weren't COVID deaths.

"Well, they had a bad heart." "They were obese." "They had cancer."

They dropped the elderly excuse and began to openly devalue the disabled as well. If you were sick, what good were you? They considered us the next sacrifices for their convenience. If we wanted to survive, we shouldn't have gotten sick. It didn't matter that we could survive for years or even have a normal lifespan as long as we were protected by our communities.

And then began the non-compliance.

Trump's followers ignored masks and lockdowns and eventually vaccines. They were unwilling to protect the vulnerable and so many of us just... died.

Again, 40% of the US COVID deaths could have been prevented. Hundreds of thousands of people should still be here. Malicious apathy, incompetence, and non-compliance were the direct cause of this genocide.

The United Nations Genocide Convention identified 5 acts that typically constitute genocide. Only one act is required and in the pandemic 3 of the 5 acts happened.

Killing members of a group. Causing members of a group serious bodily harm. Imposing living conditions on that group that would destroy them.

I'm looking at that third one just now and realizing why we have advocates to remind us of vulnerable groups that need protection. I was thinking about how the elderly and disabled were trapped in hyper-contagious nursing homes and care facilities, but I completely forgot about prisons and the concentration camps at the borders.

I am not trying to diminish the awful things happening in Palestine right now. This is not a comparison of suffering—but a reminder. When a current terrible thing is happening, it can be hard to focus on anything else. But I do wish more people recognized what happened as a genocide and that the leader of that genocide, the one with the power to stop it, was Donald Trump. If we are going to base this voting decision entirely on acts of genocide, why is this not part of the consideration?

It is an awful moral calculus we have to figure out. One president is supporting and asking for funding for a genocide and I feel the other was the direct cause of another genocide. That's why I said both choices sucked. And the only way I could resolve this moral calculation was by asking what path would cause the least harm for everyone involved.

And the most disappointing aspect of all of these debates was the ableism. People told me if Trump was elected and I lost my benefits I should grow my own food and learn about medicine. They said I valued disabled lives above those in Gaza. They told me to imagine myself in Nazi Germany as a collaborator despite the fact I would have been euthanized.

But I felt like they weren't considering the disabled at all.

I am a disability advocate. So of course I am going to remind people to consider us in their voting decisions. But I'm tired of hearing I value lives differently just because I speak on behalf of a vulnerable group more often. I'm tired of continually having to justify my existence. And I'm tired of people dismissing the very real trauma caused by Trump.

It was not pretty average.

I'd like to tell you the full story of my mother's passing. All of the details. Even the ones I can't bear to type. But this isn't just my story. This is the story of countless others who had to watch their loved ones slowly die behind glass or over the phone or on an iPad.

I spent two years in constant anxiety trying to protect my two very sick parents. It was always assumed that my father was the most at risk. And that he was probably going to die long before my mother. But she had started a treatment for her psoriatic arthritis that turned the volume down on her immune system. Something that would normally not be a huge risk... but a pandemic changed that. A vaccine needs a functioning immune system to protect someone.

She could either accept the agony of stopping treatment or risk getting COVID. If people would have been willing to protect her, it would have been an easier choice. And she would still be around today. And I wouldn't have to worry about being homeless right now.

I don't know for sure when she was infected. I kept her inside as much as possible. But she needed those treatments and we had to pile into a crowded waiting room every time. And I remember a man in his fifties who seemed preoccupied with having to wear a mask. And when he thought no one was looking, he'd pull it down below his nose. A few days later she was being taken away in an ambulance.

A few weeks before my mother died, she called me on the phone. She was heavily medicated and they had two different breathing devices assisting her. The nurse was holding the phone up to her ear and she was trying to speak over the volume of the air rushing into her face from the masks. I could not hear her no matter how loud she yelled. So she asked the nurse to take the masks off for just a second so we could talk.

Her only concern was for my father. We all contracted COVID and she was so worried he would end up just like her. Thankfully the vaccine worked for him and he was okay at that moment. But she kept yelling, "Is Dad okay? Is Dad okay?" And I kept trying to tell her he was fine, but she was hard of hearing and the phone could not be held very close to her ear.

Unfortunately, the yelling made it harder and harder for her to breathe. She started gasping for air. The nurse kept insisting she put the breathing equipment back on, but my mom refused. "I want to talk to my son! I need to talk to my son!"

I knew there wasn't much we could do to communicate. And so I kept trying to yell "I love you, Mom. Everyone is fine. I love you!" I then asked the nurse to tell her that. And when she finally understood what I was saying, she burst into tears.

Her oxygen levels were getting dangerously low and she was fighting the nurse. And she just yelled out, "I'm so scared! I think I'm going to die! Tell Dad I'm sorry I can't take care of him! I don't want to die!" She kept repeating that over and over. The nurse had no choice and had to put the masks back on. My mom screamed and shouted "No! Please no! That's my son!"

And those were the last words I ever heard from my mother.

Gasping for air. Scared of dying. Worried about her family.

This moment has intrusively popped into my brain on a regular basis since it happened. It happens when I'm awake. It happens in my dreams. I have no control over it. I just have to keep experiencing it like it is happening for the first time.

After I saw that tweet from Shaun and then many others expressing the same thing (without the strategic aspect), my dread and trauma resurfaced with a vengeance. I've been reliving my mom's final words in my dreams. That moment keeps popping into my head. I feared the man I feel is most responsible for my mother's death may regain power and kill me and the last of the family I have left.

I keep asking myself the same questions over and over. What if there is another public health emergency? What happens to my trans friends if he turns the US into Florida and Texas? What will happen to the migrants at the border?

All I have is my two best friends. Katrina is gay and Delling is trans and disabled. All of us are vulnerable.

I wrote that post to help deal with the nightmares. Writing is part of my coping process. I didn't really expect it to go super viral. I just needed to get that out of my brain. But when people pushed back and started calling me evil and a collaborator and that I was valuing my life above those in Palestine, all with a huge heap of ableism, I found myself unable to let it go and not respond. I couldn't choose the healthy thing and step away.

While I feel I made some good arguments and put forth some solid ideas for other ways to handle this, I also got angry and lost my temper and stayed in arguments for way too long—all to my mental detriment.

My little world felt like it was collapsing and the world at large also felt like it was collapsing. I had personal horrors in my mind mixing with the horrors of this global conflict.

It was too much.

I don't regret what I posted. Many felt the same as I do. And I think my subsequent posts did a good job of expanding on my thoughts while also offering hope for alternate solutions.

But I do regret the timing and I wish I hadn't lost my temper. Especially in a reply I left with a lot of cussing.

People might disagree but I am hoping that people can understand the fear and trauma that influences my point of view.

I am actually willing to risk quite a lot to protect other people. Even people in faraway lands I don't know.

But I refuse to offer up the vulnerable to be sacrificed if it won't actually help anyone. That's what a Texas Lt. Governor would do.

#trigger warning #death mention #genocide mention

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soberscientistlife · 6 months

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Lyda D. Newman born in 1865 (no exact date known) was a patented inventor and involved activist for women's suffrage. She is known for the invention of the first synthetic hairbrush. Lyda spent the majority of her life living and working in New York City.

Newman's primary occupation was hair care as she listed “hair specialist” or “hairdresser” in various New York City Directories and US Government Federal and New York City censuses. In the late 1800s, Newman invented a hairbrush that could be taken apart easily for cleaning because it contained a compartment at the bottom that could be removed from the back and be cleaned. The U.S. Patent 614,335 was filed on July 11, 1898 and granted on November 15, 1898.

Even more important than creating her patented invention, Newman was an active community member and organizer for women's suffrage in the early 20th century. The suffrage movement was a push for women's right to vote in elections. As a suffragist, she spent her time canvasing neighborhoods in New York City, hosted street meetings to educate passing people and to support the Woman Suffrage Party, Newman started the Negro Suffrage Headquarters in Manhattan.

On August 29, 1915, the New York Times noted under "Suffrage Centre for Negroes", "The Woman Suffrage Party is to open a suffrage headquarters for colored people at 207 West Sixty-third Street on Wednesday. This will be in charge of Miss Lyda Newman, who is doing excellent work for suffrage among her own people. The headquarters will be gayly decorated with suffrage posters, flags and streamers.”

Unfortunately, just as in her birth there is no record of what year in which she died, however what is undeniable is that she used her money and resources to advance the cause for all women's rights.

Source: African Archives

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tmmyhug · 2 years

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All lore scripts from How Dream SMP Changed My Life

here are all the script reveals that were in tommy's video, typed up for easier reading and reference! messy grammar included. I also went back to the vid and filled the gaps where the subtitles obscure text in the screenshots.

How Dream SMP Changed My Life | Script screenshots

Script 1: November 16 (10:05 in the video) Discord messages

Wilbur Soot 11/15/2020

Hey, so I’m getting phil into position tonight after my stream and gonna lay the TNT. IMPORTANT NOTE FOR NOW TIL TOMORROW: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TRY NOT TO BLOW ANYTHING UP NEAR LMANBERG OR YOU WILL DETONATE EVERYTHING

Treatment:

8:30pm GMT we all start roleplaying and hanging out

9pm the battle begins

Dream explains how Schlatt will not be here for the war and we will instead have to fight him

=======================

After a valiant fight Dream tells how even if we kill Schlatt it doesn’t matter because he’s already got what he wants from him

Dream leads everyone to Schlatt’s hide-out and we find him drinking and smoking

Schlatt is locked away in a tiny room with only a lever and bottles of alcohol

he is drunk. Coughing and spluttering as the gang enter

he is immediately pissed at fundy’s betrayal. Saying how fundy was like a son to him. This pisses off wilbur and Wilbur asks Sch [image cuts off]

Schlatt takes a puff of his cigarette, muscles bulging and agrees to his execution. He explains how when he dies, democracy die [image cuts off]

Wilbur nods and draws his sword to kill Schlatt. He stops and looks at Tommy. He explains how if anyone kills Schlatt it should [image cuts off]

Tommy steps forward, dream’s crossbow in hand and aims at schlatt’s head

at this point Schlatt beings to violently cough and splutter. He claims he’s having a heart attack. His character stumbles and pul [image cuts off]

the lever is hooked up to a command block “/say I never liked this hell hole anyway”

Schlatt has a heart attack and fucking dies, finally muttering “enjoy manberg, dream”

manberg is reclaimed. The gang head off to the podium of the now ravaged land of lmanberg

Tommy steps up to the microphone and thanks everyone for their help in this accomplishment

however he decides he doesn’t want to rule. Until he has the disks back from dream, he has unfinished business and cannot rul [image cuts off]

he hands the microphone back to Wilbur. Giving him the presidency

Wilbur steps up and thanks him. Wilbur does a small speech where he renames manberg to lmanburg. He changes the flag to [image cuts off]

However, he feels he is not without sin. And begrudgingly hands the presidency to Tubbo. Saying Tubbo is the only person who [image cuts off]

Tubbo accepts and steps to the podium, offering a new era of peace in lmanberg

Wilbur walks away

Wilbur goes to the button room and stares at it once more wondering if it even works

he decides to press it

philza joins the game

philza asks wilbur why he’s doing this. He expresses disappointment and tells him to step away from the button

Wilbur waits. Seems convinced and begins to leave after a bit of coercion

before he leaves he turns back to the button.

“Phil I’m a traitor to this nation. I have nothing here and I’ll never have anything again. have you heard of a famous phrase uttere [image cuts off]

“no?”

“It was never meant to be..”

Wilbur presses the button detonating 8 stacks of tnt under lmanberg

MEANWHILE

While Wilbur is gone the gang start discussing who the traitor could be

Once Philza joins the game to everyone’s shock, Techno beings explaining how he guesses he fits the role of the traitor

Techno explains how he’s not really a traitor, just a guy who hates the government.

Techno beings setting up soul sand on Jack Manifolds old home

As soon as the TNT is detonated during the chaos technoblade completes the withers and unleashes them into the world, atta [image cuts off]

A huge fight breaks out amongst the L’Manberg people and the withers, with technoblade trying to slow down the gang as muc [image cuts off]

Phil joins the VC and helps

Everyone fights until the withers are gone

Script 2: January 4 - New L'manberg festival (10:43 in the video) Google Docs

The festival is happening. Fundy, Tubbo, Quackity, Ranboo, Niki, and anyone else that is generally around lmanburg can attend. Everyone starts streaming early for the festival. Before the festival starts, Quackity Tubbo and Fundy (and ranboo? I’m not sure who was there originally), have a meeting about how they’re going to kill Dream.

They talk about how Dream trusts Tubbo so Tubbo is going to have to be the one to do it. That they’ve become sort of friends since Tommy was exiled. Tubbo agrees, still slightly doubtful that it would work. Tubbo says that Dream agreed to show up with no armor to for the first time ever, honor lmanburgs laws.

The meeting ends and they start the festival, talking about how Dream said he would be a little late.

Tommy and Techno at this point have been planning how they’re going to ruin the festival (and get back Tommy’s disc from Dream). They know that Dream will show up, but they don’t know how they’ll fight him without him escaping. (Ranboo finds them on the outskirts of lmanburg and tells them that Dream agreed to show up in no armor? Possibly?) That sparks that they can hide around lmanburg and ambush Dream when he’s at the festival. Tommy and Techno improv and mess around while trying to build an “ambush spot” (all of this is sort of unimportant to the plot so can be adjusted to make funnier/better streams for those two)

Tommy and Techno start streaming about 30 minutes after the others.

After some festival activities have been done, Dream shows up in full armor, placing obsidian again in a wall formation. Everyone sees him and runs over confused about what’s happening.

They hop in a call with dream (techno and tommy join too but tell each other to be quiet before joining.) Dream starts screaming about what Tommy did and how he really screwed up this time (tommy is kind of afraid and is looking at techno for assurance), and everyone is confused about what Tommy did, especially tubbo. Dream yells about the fact that Tommy destroyed the community house, the longest standing structure on the server, and how he has to pay for it. Quackity and the others don’t believe it and decide to go look with Dream. (Techno and Tommy follow stealthily behind (invis), no one should see them).

Sapnap and anyone else from the original Dream SMP can log on now or already be on and come over to see. (Awesam, Callahan, George(probably not), Sapnap, BadBoyHalo, Punz)

They stand in front of the shattered remains and everyone is shocked that Tommy would do this, and upset. Everyone is insisting that Tommy really screwed up and that it’s horrible.

Tubbo agrees but insists that he and lmanburg had nothing to do with it. Dream says that as long as Tubbo has one of the discs, he has everything to do with Tommy. Tubbo seems shocked and thinks about what Dream said. All of the Dream SMP original members agree and are talking about how he should give it so they can burn it once and for all. Tubbo is reluctant but seems to agree that Tommy keeps doing things that would put lmanburg in danger, so he doesn’t want association.

He seems like he about to give the disc, so Tommy reveals himself (techno too) and gets into a screaming match with Tubbo about it.

--Tommy and tubbo fill in what happens here, but it’s a big argument and fight probably mostly improv-

Eventually after both nearly dying, Tommy realizes that he’s fighting his best friend and stops. Tubbo is angry and gives the disc quickly to Dream, saying that it’s just a stupid disc. Tommy is hurt by that but realizes that he’s been blinded and has lost friends because of it. Tommy realizes that Dream now has both of his discs, and that they’re back at square one.

Dream has an evil speech about how Tubbo is an idiot and that he never should have given him the disc. That Tubbo was never the president of L’manburg, but that everyone else had more control than him of his own country, even Dream. That he’s the worst president because he was no president at all. Expose Ranboo as a traitor that has been working with Techno and Tommy, and that he can’t even keep control of his own people. Give Tubbo the book with proof. That l’manburg is weaker than it’s ever been, and that the only thing stopping Dream from completely destroying l’manburg was the fact that Tubbo had the discs and so Dream had to befriend him.

Now there’s nothing stopping Dream from completely obliterating l’manburg. Everyone seems shocked and tries to talk Dream down, but Dream screams and tells everyone to shut up. Everyone goes completely silent. Dream asks Techno if he has any withers left. Techno responds basically like “oh do III” because he has so many.

--Techno should add more here so he has more of a role-

Dream announces that tonight is the final night of l’manburg forever. That he and Techno will finish the job that Wilbur started, and that l’manburg will be blown all the way to bedrock at (TIME, the next day). He tells everyone to say their last goodbyes, and to not try and stop him because Techno and him will kill every last one of them.

Dream leaves.

Everyone is left in shock, (maybe techno has some funny monologue here like it’s awkward that I just left him there with everyone or something)

No one knows what to say. They realize that Dream has gone completely insane and that he has to be stopped. (techno is gone by now) They realize that Dream made a mistake by telling them the time, and they decide that they will all plan to work together and stop them. If all of the server fights together they can beat Techno and Dream. They get hyped about it and Tommy and Tubbo agree to fight together, despite having 1 canon life, that they’re willing to put their lives on the line for l’manburg. They kind of have a reunion.

--Possibly Tommy leaves or ends here?-

Quackity seems blood thirsty and wants to punish ranboo for conspiring with them and being a traitor. Tubbo disagrees and quackity and tubbo get into an argument, Quackity insists that he HAS to execute him because he was a traitor. Tubbo gets mad and flips out on Quackity insisting that he’s not going to be like schlatt and execute him next to his own festival decorations (call back), that they need to ALL be together, ALL of them, otherwise they will lose to Techno and Dream. As long as he agrees to fight, he will fight with them. Quackity still seems to disagree, Tubbo puts his foot down and mentions what Dream said. That everyone else always pushed him around, but no HE’S the president, and his word is final, anyone who goes against it is committing treason. Quackity reluctantly agrees, but says that what Tubbo said doesn’t mean they can’t deal with traitors after they stop Techno and Dream.

-End of this stream-

Bullet points for Tommy-

Start stream a little after Tubbo and the others start.

Plan to go to l’manburg to ruin the festival

Show up at l’manburg, with lots of invis potions, investigate what’s happening

Dream shows up, join VC secretly Hear Dream freak out about the community house, seem confused, follow them.

Once Tubbo seems like he’s going to give up the disc, tommy interjects

Fight tubbo

Give up on fighting tubbo and realize that you’re fighting your best friend

Listen to Dream evil speech

After Dream/Techno leaves, convince everyone to work together. Talk about putting your life on the line for l’manburg

Bullet points for Techno-

Start stream a little after Tubbo and the others start.

Plan to go to l’manburg to ruin the festival

Show up at l’manburg, with lots of invis potions, investigate what’s happening

Dream shows up, join VC secretly Hear Dream freak out about the community house, seem confused, follow them.

Once Tubbo seems like he’s going to give up the disc, tommy interjects

Fight tubbo

Give up on fighting tubbo and realize that you’re fighting your best friend

Listen to Dream evil speech

Join in when Dream asks if you have withers, “whatever else you want here”

After Dream leaves, awkwardly leave and head back to your house

Dream is there and Techno & Dream briefly talk about what they’re going to do, Techno shows Dream the wither room

Bullet points for l’manburg-

Start Stream a little before the festival.

Have meeting with cabinet about killing Dream, how Tubbo should be the one to do it because he’s trusted.

Start the festival, Dream said he would show up a little later.

Dream shows up in full armor and is building an obsidian wall.

Realize and run over pissed off. Join his VC (don’t see tommy / techno)

Listen to Dream, then go see the community house

Be mad at Tommy

Tubbo fights with Tommy after almost giving up his disc

Fight ends, Tubbo gives the disc to Dream to end war

Listen to Dream evil speech

Ranboo was a traitor for Techno/Tommy

After Dream/Techno leaves, Tubbo and Tommy convince people to work together. They talk about putting their lives on the line for l’manburg.

Quackity wants Ranboo executed

Tubbo puts his foot down and insists that he will not be doing that, that he’s president.

Bullet Points for original DreamSMP members:

After l’manburg and dream show up at the community house(it’s blown up), show up and seem upset and distressed that it was blown up. That it was the oldest artifact on the server and it had a lot of memories.

Follow Dream’s lead, mostly agreeing with what he says.

Once Dream brings up the disc that Tubbo has, insist that it be burned and turned over by Tubbo.

Once Tubbo turns over the disc, Dream gives an evil speech

Realize that Dream is taking it too far and that l’manburg is a part of history and is a free country

Follow Tommy/Tubbo’s lead, talk about how you guys can stop Dream and Techno if you all work together

#tommyinnit #dream smp #vee makes posts #wilbur soot #dream

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lesserafim-eden · 4 months

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✶ ׅ ࣪ 🫧 ◛ ❀ THE SCANDALS OF EDEN NOELIA LEE ; PART ONE

ׅ. ୨ ❪ ONE! ❫ ୧ ⊹ COCKY IN PRODUCE 48 )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Time frame: July 11, 2018 to August 1, 2018

✶ ׅ ࣪ Popularity: 100%

✶ ׅ ࣪ Situation: in which Eden gets told that she’s too cocky by netizens

✶ ׅ ࣪ Public opinion: negative

✶ ׅ ࣪ Parties involved: Eden Noelia Lee ( 에덴 노엘리아 리 ) K-netizens ( K-네티즌 )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Overview: During the premiere of Produce 48, Eden was one of more popular trainee as it was the first SM decided to have one of their trainees enter a survival show which shocked the Korean entertainment industry. Eden was always on top ranked trainees but that quickly changed when she mentioned that she was confident about debuting and how she thinks she has improved. This provoked netizens into thinking that she is way too ‘cocky’ and that she thought she was the best in produce 48. From then on Eden’s rank dropped which to 14 year old Eden to quickly loose her confidence and asked the other trainees if they thought she was slacking or had decreased skill wise. The sudden change in the vote upset her and made her work even harder to push her limit and practiced while everyone else was sleeping.

As the episodes went on, the public saw how hard she was working and she really wanted to make this debut. On the final day of voting many people came together and voted for her. When it was announced that she ranked third place, she burst into tears as she expect that outcome.

ׅ. ୨ ❪ TWO! ❫ ୧ ⊹ ࣪attention seeker of IZ*ONE )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Time frame: November 11, 2018 to December 1, 2018

✶ ׅ ࣪ Popularity: 97%

✶ ׅ ࣪ Situation: in which Eden has an outfit malfunction causing her to stand out on stage

✶ ׅ ࣪ Public opinion: negative

✶ ׅ ࣪ Parties involved: Eden Noelia Lee ( 에덴 노엘리아 리 ) K-netizens ( K-네티즌 )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Overview: during the debut era of IZ*ONE, freshly coming out of Produce 48 Eden had gained a lot popularity due to her outstanding visuals and talent. However, when it was coming to the end of promotions, before going onto stage on November 11, 2018, the skirt that Eden was wearing matching with the other members of IZ*ONE was, ripped. The zip to secure the skirt in place on Eden’s waist got jammed within the zipper and the material. The staff did everything they could to try and get it unstuck, though in the midst they made it unwearable.

Eden and the rest of IZ*ONE members were due to go on stage any minute and now, the Lee girl had nothing to wear. After looking through a bags of clothes, a staff was able to find a shiny glittery purple skirt. Relief was felt and without another doubt, Eden changed before heading on stage to perform.

The next day however, Eden woke up to see her name trending number one and receiving hate from K-netizens. They were dragging the girl through the mud and spreading hateful & rude comments about how she was so desperate for attention and the spotlight that she had to wear ‘different’ & ‘prettier’ skirt than the other members. It was so annoying for Eden, as all she wanted to do was speak out and deny the rumors and explain what had actually happened, but she couldn’t. She was an idol. It would ruin her ‘idol image’ the staff said. With weeks of receiving hate, it eventually died down when one of her stylists decided to speak up about the situation and explained why she wear a different skirt than the other members.

ׅ. ୨ ❪ THREE! ❫ ୧ ⊹ flexing her wealth )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Time frame: May 2, 2019 to August 17, 2019

✶ ׅ ࣪ Popularity: 100%

✶ ׅ ࣪ Situation: in which Eden receives hate for hanging out with her friends

✶ ׅ ࣪ Public opinion: mixed

✶ ׅ ࣪ Parties involved: Eden Noelia Lee ( 에덴 노엘리아 리 ) K-netizens ( K-네티즌 )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Overview: ever since Eden joined produce 48, there many rumors about her coming from two chaebol family ( one from her father’s side & her mother’s ) she is the heir to the Hanyowon group. The family is one of the wealthiest families in the world & the family is estimated by Forbes to be worth US$50 trillion, according to the Forbes estimates the family has more billionaires among its members than any other families, which also makes them the family with the most wealthy members in history. The Hanyowon Group is involved in a number of markets, including electronics, oil refining, automobiles, telecommunications, and fashion brand companies ( REXEZ & REOZA).

The claim that Eden was born in a wealthy family once again resurfaced after she was seen hanging out with a "diamond-spoon" public figure. Eden became a hot topic among K-pop fans and internet users after her Instagram story, where she posted a picture of herself in a private resort which netizens found that it costs at least US$6,425 to a whopping $10,075 per night depending on size and amenities.

Netizens quickly began spreading their opinions about Eden and how she is flexing her wealth which led to her becoming the main subject of haters. Netizens also found who she went to the private resort with, and were surprised to learn that Eden is childhood friends and study abroad with Park Hyerim, the granddaughter of the chairman of Korea’s leading conglomerate Hyuneol Group & Han Soojin, also the granddaughter of the chairman of Korea’s leading conglomerate B&B Group. Fans quickly realized that if she is close to a chaebol granddaughters, her family background is definitely no joke. Netizens were also quick to send hate to Eden like there was no tomorrow, whereas Eden’s fans were busy defending her against the ridiculous hate.

. ׅ. ୨ ❪ FOUR! ❫ ୧ ⊹ IZ*ONE’s brat )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Time frame: November 28, 2019 to January 17, 2020

✶ ׅ ࣪ Popularity: 96%

✶ ׅ ࣪ Situation: in which Eden is said to be a brat after spotted speaking rudely to Lee Chaeryeong ( ITZY )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Public opinion: negative

✶ ׅ ࣪ Parties involved: Eden Noelia Lee ( 에덴 노엘리아 리 ) Lee Chaeryeong ( 이채령 )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Overview: During the 2019 MAMA awards, Eden found herself being screwed over again when the two girls of IZ*ONE & ITZY were spotted by plenty of netizens talking to one another, and at first, fans thought they were joking around with each other, but that changed once they noticed an offended expression on Chaeryeong’s face, and Eden with a nasty one. This took fans of the two girls by surprise and the day after the award show, the incident was trending number one. Chaeryeong’s fans were sending hate to Eden like there was no tomorrow, whereas Eden’s fans were busy defending her too. Fans of the two were desperate for answers and an apology from Eden, some even demanded that Eden should leave the group and due to her being in the group with Chaeryeong’s sister, Chaeyeon.

On January 17, 2020 the issue seemed to come to an end once Stone Music released a statement, explaining that the incident took place on November 28 was a misunderstanding by the public, and that the two girls are close friends and that is how they have fun. Some netizens that sided with Chaeryeong and refused to believe what the company had to say and labeled it as a ‘silly excuse’, whereas others understood, stating that was how they bantered with their friends too.

However, what really put an end to the controversy was when Chaeryeong and Chaeyeon posted a picture together on Twitter. It was simply of Eden between the two sisters and the Lee sisters making heart with her cheeks, it was a cute picture and made some fans apologize to Eden.

. ׅ. ୨ ❪ FIVE! ❫ ୧ ⊹ is IZ*ONE’s Eden a BlackPink anti? )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Time frame: March 20, 2020 to April 4, 2020

✶ ׅ ࣪ Popularity: 100%

✶ ׅ ࣪ Situation: in which Eden is said to be a BlackPink anti

✶ ׅ ࣪ Public opinion: mixed

✶ ׅ ࣪ Parties involved: Eden Noelia Lee ( 에덴 노엘리아 리 ) BLACKPINK ( 블랙핑크 )

✶ ׅ ࣪ Overview: On March 20, 2020 Eden was doing a Vlive to speak with Wiz*one’s whilst she did her monthly “chill with me” karaoke, where she picks an artist to listen to for the whole live. Her fans loved every minute of it because it was the only time she could get comfortable and just enjoy the moment with her fans. It was a harmless and innocent act and not only herself but the fans were enjoying the live. Though, things took a turn when “Kick it” by BLACKPINK started playing and she skipped the song, causing fans to believe the girl didn’t like the group and was an anti of them.

Although, Eden was a fan of BlackPink. She had all of their albums and merch, so seeing everyone claiming that she didn’t BlackPink and was an anti. When they were one of her favorite groups didn’t sit well with her especially when she is friends with the girls of BlackPink and the only reason she skipped the song was because she playing TWICE’s songs and BlackPink didn’t fit her vibe & theme.

Eden put the rumors to rest when she went live again on April 4, 2020 and this time she was in her shared room and showed her collection of BLACKPINK’s album and the countless amount of merch she has of them. She also stated that she wasn’t an anti of them and she is really close friends with them, and that she couldn’t understand why people would think ever.

───────────────

A/N; it looks like Eden can never catch a break a scandal after scandal

Eden’s taglist; @billboard-singer @eisa-core @skzinka @txt-yaomi @stealanity @seolboba @cosmicwintr

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pineapplefulfillseveryneed · 7 days

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The Revenge Of Two Hands One Mouth - O2 Academy Bristol (November 27, 2013) by Adam Gasson

After 11 years of not finding a single photo from this show, I found these yesterday! I can not begin to express what this means to me, I nearly cried and I couldn't sleep last night. I was still a rather new fan and this was my first time going to a show in the UK, the first show I went to see with a friend, and my first time meeting that friend, too. And these above photos are SO GOOD! Not much was preserved from this show at all, there was no recording allowed (no charcoal drawings either), and to my knowledge not even the full setlist for this specific show was preserved anywhere. So better late than never, but here's what I remember (with some help from these photos!) and the things I've puzzled back together:

If there was opening music or an opening act, i don't recall, but Russell entered the stage alone. It was dramatic and impactful, and it went quiet as he gave an intense stare into the audience and did a drawn out "ahhh" into the microphone. After a little moment of quiet, it turned out the microphone had been connected to a sequencer which now started repeating "ah ah ah ah ah ah". Suspense, excitement. Russell added: "Hold, hold, hold, hold". (...I was definitely freaking out.) While that started looping on top of the ah ah ah sequence, he made stop signs with his hand as we all listened. A few repeats passed. "I'm getting mixed signals, mixed signals - mixed, mixed, mixed signals".

^ the only seconds of this show I recorded as I didn't yet know it wasn't allowed - security signed at me and I put the camera away. It was fine. (Here's a recording of it made during the US tour later that year - recording seemed to be less frowned upon at that point.)

I don't recall when Ron entered the stage at this show, whether it was during the song or after, but what a way to open! And what an amazing song choice!

The performance that left the biggest impression on me at this show though was Nicotina. It was a choice I didn't see coming, but also the way Russell sang it! Falsetto heaven. (Sadly not a single video is to be found of Nicotina from this tour. But for your falsetto heaven needs, I hope you can find a video of Here In Heaven that they also performed on this tour, because that will also kill you.)

As everyone here probably knows I am quite big on Bergman, which at the time was heavily promoted during the tours, and, the excerpts they played on this tour were different from what they played during Two Hands One Mouth! They played "I Am Ingmar Bergman", The Studio Commissary (my favourite song on Bergman), Limo Driver (but sang by Russell, and HOW!) and "Oh My God". (Here's a video of it from one of the American shows. It's extremely good. People who've been around for a while have seen me lose it over this video many times.)

The most unexpected song choice was probably Katherine Hepburn. Me and my friend had been joking for absolute months that we were going to see Sparks and they'd play Katherine Hepburn (as if that would ever happen, we were obsessed with that song though!). And here we were, and they were playing Katherine Hepburn right in front of our eyes. (What is reality.)

Falling In Love With Myself Again had me losing it over the organ sounds, always a fan of Ron on organ, and I LOVE that song. Russell sang a line in my direction (I died), and he managed to throw another line at me during Those Mysteries ...I died a few times that night. As you might expect. That was kind of the whole THOM/TROTHOM experience anyway. Lots of dying. But the variety of dying where you end up in heaven. (You're at a Sparks show after all.)

They wrote a song especially for this tour, which was not released but only ever played live: Revenge Of Two Hands One Mouth. What a thing to experience! A very dark song, but wonderful. (REVENGE! REVENGE REVENGE!)

At the end of the show Ron took a photo of Russell with the audience. I don't really remember that happening, but the photo exists and it really was not a thing they did often back then. We had been a good audience :)

Here's all the songs that were probably played that night in random order:

Your Call's Very Important To Us. Please Hold., B.C., Good Morning, Here In Heaven, Academy Award Performance, Those Mysteries, Falling In Love With Myself Again, Big Boy, Nicotina, Popularity, This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us, excerpts from The Seduction Of Ingmar Bergman, Tryouts For The Human Race, Katherine Hepburn, Revenge Of Two Hands One Mouth. They likely also played The Number One Song in Heaven, When Do I Get To Sing 'My Way' and Suburban Homeboy. (I see mentions of How Are You Getting Home? and How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall? in setlists for this tour as well, which they very well might have played but I very sadly have zero memory of ever hearing those songs live.)

This tour had a real air of mystery, possibly even more so than Two Hands One Mouth, as the lack of existing footage definitely adds to it. But luckily some of it *is* out there, and I am so grateful for these photos :) On top of the songs I especially mentioned above, I would also advise people to look for recordings of Tryouts For The Human Race and Popularity from this tour, because the arrangements are probably not going to be the way you expect them to be. And as you might expect: B.C. is stunning live. (I could start a whole rant about Good Morning and Suburban Homeboy live but I think I sufficiently screamed about both in my personal notes on THOM the year prior.) Final note: I know Russell had some sort of dance move for Big Boy because me and another friend couldn't stop talking about it for months. I don't remember what he did, but both THOM and TROTHOM were wonderful for Russell dances <3

#I really needed to get that out of my system and onto the blog :)#I may do one of these posts for all shows I've seen at some point.#(I know I've yet to put my notes from 2023 on here and I've been working on them!)#sparks #sparks (band)#russell mael #ron mael #the revenge of two hands one mouth #trothom #bristol #november 27 2013 #2013 #10's #i was there #I put the whole story under a read more so that you don't have to deal with that if you just want to look at photos :)#tour notes

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withlovewriting · 3 months

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All I Ever Knew, Only You 11: The Junkyard

Chapter Eleven.

My past has tasted bitter for years now, So I wield an iron fist, Grace is just weakness, or so I've been told, I've been cold, I've been merciless, But the blood on my hands scares me to death, Maybe I'm waking up today.

Summary: Hawkins was your typical quaint, mid-western town where nothing ever happened. People were born here, lived their entire lives within the town limits, and eventually died here, peacefully in their sleep. But one cold November evening in 1983 would change everything.

Despite a child with psychokinetic abilities and ravenous monsters that lacked faces, stranger things had definitely happened in the small town in Indiana. One of them being your reluctant and slightly imposed friendship with Hawkins High’s own King Bee, Steve Harrington.

Characters: Steve Harrington x Non-descriptive F!Reader (eventual)

Words: 6,651

Chapter Warnings: Explicit language, allusions to PTSD, mentions of child loss, bad dating advice from Steve, these two idiots do not stop riding each other's asses and I love it. I think that's it.

Series Warnings: Strong language, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of drug use, canon-typical violence, mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of possible mental health disorders, child abuse, slow burn, kinda enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, I like to call it ‘two idiots who begrudgingly befriend each other only to realize… ‘wait a damn minute…’, eventual sexual content, no use of y/n, canon-typical time-period bullshit. 18+. Minors DNI.

Previous Chapter

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Chapter Eleven: The Junkyard

You’d planned on apologizing to Steve that morning. Really, you had every intention of doing so. But the minute he walked into third-period history, you’d ducked your head down and refused to peel your eyes away from your textbook, despite having no idea what the lesson was about.

You’d heard around the hallways that Steve and Billy had another altercation during the basketball scrimmage, the latter knocking the boy to the floor after taunting him the whole time. But you figured the further away from Billy you remained, the further away from another detention you were.

So instead, you avoided the boy — who at least seemed to have other, more pressing things on his mind — and made your way toward the town square, wandering around Melvald’s in search of a photo frame to replace the one most likely still shattered on Hopper’s floor.

“No Mrs. Byers today, Don?”

The elder gentleman peered up at you from where he was stood, rearranging stock by the cash register, “No, her boy isn’t well.”

“Jonathan?” You questioned, aware you hadn’t seen him at all that morning, still unable to get your house key back from his car.

“No, the little one. Will.”

Swallowing deeply, your hand froze halfway to the wooden frame. Kids get sick all the time, you tried to convince yourself. Hundreds of tests had been run on the boy since he’d been found, and he was fine. Whatever was going on had nothing to do with that place. It was November, he probably had the flu or something.

Shaking your head, you gripped the frame tight before making your way to the register to pay.

“Everything okay, Miss?”

Nodding, you placed down the money you’d had saved, not bothering to wait for your change as you rushed out of the shop, breath heaving in your chest. You just needed to be outside where the air wasn’t stale, too warm and suffocating.

The ride to the Byers’ household didn’t take long, but your stomach lurched the whole way there, making you almost certain that you were going to throw up.

Knocking on the door a few times, it didn’t take long for Joyce to answer, wide-eyed and worried.

“Hey, Mrs. Byers. I’m sorry to intrude like this but uh, I stopped by Melvald’s today and Don said Will was sick?”

You didn’t realize the woman’s dark eyes could get even wider.

Joyce stepped out, shutting the door behind her as if trying to keep Will from hearing your conversation, “He’s uh, he’s just not feeling well. He’ll be fine, though.”

Nodding, you couldn’t help but feel stupid that you hadn’t even brought anything. Instead, you’d just turned up, banging on the poor woman’s door.

Your mouth bobbed open for a moment, unsure as to what you could possibly say when Joyce interrupted you, her voice much lower than before, “Doctor Owens, the uh… the man who checks up on Will thinks it might be something called the 'Anniversary Effect'. He thinks Will's struggling because it’s so close to when everything happened last year. But I- I’m sure it’s just a bug or something.”

Joyce sent a tight smile your way as if she was begging you to believe her. To believe her that Will was absolutely fine, and it was just a sick bug. That rest and recuperation would make everything go away, and that everything would go back to normal. That if you believed, she could believe too.

But you didn’t, and you couldn’t.

“Can I… Can I just talk to him for like a second? I just… I don’t know. Wanna say hi…”

Joyce watched you with bated breath for a moment, clearly debating whether or not that was a good idea. Eventually, however, she nodded, opening the door back up and ushering you inside, “Not for long though, alright? He needs his rest.”

You stood in the doorway of Will’s room, the boy looking pale and small as always, fast asleep in bed with the window wide open, “Is it the flu, or?”

“We don’t know. He’s just… He’s not feeling well.”

Nodding, you sighed, wrapping your arms around yourself, “Have you tried a warm bath? If he has a fever-”

“He likes it cold,” Joyce repeated, her mind recycling the words her son had told her earlier, “He, uh… Thought the water was too hot.”

“Cold baths won’t break a fever. Not safely, anyway. Too much of a drop in temperature. I’m… I’m sorry, you totally know all this already. I should head out, but thanks for letting me see him.”

Joyce walked you back to the door, her eyes seeming a world away as she watched you clamber onto your bicycle, a wobbly voice stopping you before you could peddle off, “Do you… Are you okay? I mean… It’s a year for you too, right? You doing alright?”

Your eyes widened slightly, brain-wracking about for some kind of answer, eventually settling on a nod of the head as you sent back your own tight, slightly strained smile, “I’m fine, Mrs. Byers. See you soon.”

Your experience with Joyce had startled you, and you’d decided to leave replacing Hopper’s frame until Saturday morning. This time, you were much more weary of the trip wire.

Your throat felt like it was closing in on itself as you approached the cabin, the stairs creaking under your feet as you eyed the half-open door, causing your brows to pinch together. Hopper’s car was nowhere to be seen, which only meant one thing. Eleven had left. Again.

Quietly making your way around the cabin, calling the girl’s name out in vain, you stepped over the half-assed attempt at cleaning the shattered glass. Quickly changing the frame over, you couldn’t bring yourself to look into the familiar eyes of the little girl you’d never met. Hopper had never really spoken about Sara, at least not to you. But you’d seen him last night, the look in his eyes that told you his heart had been torn apart and never really quite healed. Bruised, battered, and broken, but somehow still beating.

You wondered if maybe that was why your mother and Jim had found each other in the first place, both mourning a loss that time could never quite heal.

That you could never heal.

The photograph looked almost odd, now the only thing untouched in a room shattered from top to bottom. A flower blooming in the middle of a battlefield.

Dusting off your hands on your jeans, you ignored the sound of glass crunching under your sneakers and made your way back out into the chilly Fall air. If Hopper had left this morning, then El couldn’t have gotten far. So you began your bike ride to the place you thought she’d head first.

The Wheeler residence.

Your hand slammed the door before it could close, leaning over Dustin as you sent Ted Wheeler a strained smile, “Hey, Mr. Wheeler. Is-”

“Nancy’s not home. She’s at Ally’s.”

“No, no. I’m not here for Nancy. I was wondering if Mike’s home?”

The man took you in for a second, watching as you all but gasped for air. You weren’t sure if your lungs or legs were burning more. Eventually, Mr. Wheeler rolled his eyes and repeated the same spiel he’d told the Henderson boy, “He’s at Will’s. Neither of our kids lives here anymore,” he scoffed, “Am I done here?”

Dustin sighed, shaking his head as he turned, ducking under your arm, “Son of a bitch. You’re really no help at all, you know that?”

“Hey! Language.”

You mumbled a quiet ‘thank you’ before following the boy up the path, grabbing your bike that had been haphazardly dumped next to his.

“Wait,” he turned to you before you could push off, “Why the hell are you looking for Mike?”

Your mouth bobbed open and closed a few times as you wracked your brain for an excuse before giving up, “It’s nothing, later Henderson.”

“No, no, wait! Are you busy?”

Facing the boy, you cocked a brow, “Clearly.”

“You know, you were much nicer last year-”

“And you were much less annoying last year-”

Your argument with the boy ceased as the sound of a car engine approached, pulling in against the sidewalk outside the Wheeler’s house. Turning, you recognized the car right away. Squeezing your eyes shut and tipping your head back slightly, you let out an annoyed sigh.

Steve Harrington made his way around the Beamer, one hand gripping a bouquet of red roses as the other fussed with his hair, the boy mumbling to himself the whole time.

“Steve,” Dustin approached him, causing Steve’s brows to pinch as he looked between you and the boy, “Are those for Mr. or Mrs. Wheeler?”

“No-”

“Good,” Dustin grabbed the bouquet before making his way toward the BMW, “Nancy isn’t home.”

Steve stood, watching as Dustin opened the passenger’s seat, “Where is she?”

“Doesn’t matter, we have bigger problems than your love life. Do you still have that bat?”

Shaking your head, you pushed off, only to be halted by the pre-teen, “Where the hell are you going?”

“Anywhere that isn’t here.”

“Nu-uh, it’s a code red. All hands on deck. Get in.”

“Dustin, I got shit I need to do, so-”

“I need your help, alright? I’ll explain everything when we get there, but nobody else is picking up, and I need help.”

Releasing a long, frustrated sigh, you shoved your bike back to the floor next to his own before opening the back seat and ungraciously falling in.

You could feel Steve’s puppy-dog stare every so often as he glanced at you in the rearview mirror, the two boys arguing most of the drive,

“-Because his face opened up and he ate my cat.”

Your head darted, wide eyes staring into the back of Dustin’s headrest. When he’d said he thought it was another Demogorgon, you were apprehensive. That… thing wasn’t easy to miss, and there had been no sightings, no disappearances, nothing.

Steve pulled into Dustin’s drive, shutting off the engine as the two made their way around the back of the car to grab a flashlight and the nailed bat. Eventually, you pulled yourself from the car, a million thoughts flying through your mind, all of them begging you to not take another step.

“You alright?”

Steve stood watching you, brows pinched together in concern. You hadn’t spoken since your altercation in school, and this wasn’t exactly how you planned on spending your Saturday, “I, uh… I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to do this, you know that, right? I can drop you home, sort this out myself-”

“What don’t you understand about a code red?” Dustin interrupted, shutting the open door that you were half leaning against, “All hands on deck. Now come on.”

Releasing a long, exasperated sigh, you nodded toward the boy, ducking your head down as you passed Steve and followed him into the backyard, the three of you crowding around Dustin’s locked cellar door.

“I don’t hear shit,” Steve told him before knocking on the door with his bat, “All right, listen, kid. I swear, if this is some sort of Halloween prank… you’re dead.”

“It’s not,” Dustin argued back, eyes practically closed from where Steve was pointing the flashlight directly at him, “It’s not a prank. Get it out of my face.”

Grabbing the flashlight and essentially giving Dustin back his vision, you aimed it back toward the cellar door, “You got a key for this thing?”

You and Dustin stood back as Steve opened the doors, fist wrapped tightly around the nailed bat.

“You sure you wanna do this?” Steve asked, his eyes remaining on the dark basement before peering up at you from where he sat squatting on the floor.

Chewing your lip, your eyes remained steadfast on the empty space as you reaffirmed your grip on the light, “It’s fine. I’m pretty handy with a flashlight.”

You could see the corner of Steve’s mouth pull up in your peripheral but chose to ignore it as the boy stood up.

“I’ll stay up here in case he tries to escape…” Dustin swallowed, his eyes drawn to the darkness of the door. Dart had to be down there somewhere and if he was hiding, Steve and his bat was everyone's best chance of sorting this out and keeping all their limbs.

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears as you watched Steve begin his descent, quickly following after him as your chest grazed his back, flashlight held high over his shoulder in an attempt to find this stupid giant lizard before it found you.

Steve kept the hand that wasn’t holding the bat behind him, caging you behind his body until you both reached the basement floor.

If there was any sound to be heard, you wouldn’t have been able to hear it over the sound of your own heartbeat echoing around in your ears.

Your hand gripped the back of Steve’s jacket as he led you further underground, your flashlight slowly casting light over the area until Steve tugged on the light switch. Stopping abruptly, he leaned over slightly before lifting his bat and inspecting what seemed to be a layer of skin, still dripping with some kind of goo.

“Holy shit,” you mumbled, stepping out from behind Steve for the first time and pointing the light toward the other end of the room, “Dustin? Get down here.”

The boy's sneakers sounded all too loud in the small room. He approached Steve first, his eyes focused on the end of his bat, “Oh, shit.”

“Henderson, you never said this thing could dig through walls.”

Dustin looked up to where you were pointing the flashlight, noticing the large hole in the wall that had definitely not been there before, “Oh, shit.”

Unpacking the trunk of Steve’s car, your nose twisted as you set a bucket full of raw meat down, “This is absolutely disgusting.”

“Well, if you have any better ideas, I’m all ears.”

Scoffing, you leaned against the car, pulling at the yellow rubber gloves that had already made your hands clammy, despite the cold morning air, “I didn’t say it was a bad idea, just a gross one.”

Between tossing and turning, and jumping at every little sound outside your bedroom window, you had barely slept. To say you felt grumpy would be an understatement, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep again until this possible baby Demogorgon was gone. And if El had run away from the cabin, she was most likely in the woods, and you could only hope you got to her before Dart did.

So if you had to lure the Demogorgon into the junkyard by tossing pieces of raw meat that Steve had thankfully brought that morning, then so be it. But it didn’t mean you had be be happy about it.

Stomping off in front of the boys, Dustin finished his call with Lucas before joining you, the three of you kicking up leaves as you made your way along the train tracks.

“So let me get this straight,” Steve huffed, throwing out another piece of meat despite complaining for a full three minutes to use to meat sparingly, “You kept something you knew was probably dangerous in order to impress a girl who… who you just met?”

You’d been ignoring their idle conversation so far, but the comment about a new girl — most likely Max — piqued your interest.

“All right, that’s grossly oversimplifying things.”

“I mean, why would a girl like some nasty slug, anyway?”

“An interdimensional slug? Because it’s awesome.”

“Well, even if she thought it was cool, which she didn’t, I just… I don’t know. I just feel like you’re trying way too hard.”

Rolling your eyes, you threw a piece of meat down a little harder than necessary.

“Well, not everyone can have your perfect hair, all right?”

“It’s not about the hair, man. The key with girls is just… just acting like you don’t care.”

Your face scrunched up, despite knowing neither boy could see it. The last person Dustin needed girl advice from was Steve.

“Even if you do?”

“Yeah, exactly. It drives them nuts.”

Apparently, your scoff was much louder than you’d anticipated.

“What?” Steve asked, and you could already picture his eyebrows knitted together before you’d even turned around.

Walking backward, you continued to throw small chunks of meat, nose still wrinkled in revulsion as you stared him down, “That is the dumbest advice I’ve ever heard.”

“It is not-”

Turning your attention to Dustin, your tone softened slightly, “Don’t listen to Harrington for girl advice, alright?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’m great with girls.”

“You’ve had flings with half the girls at school, sure. I don’t think that constitutes as great with advice.”

“I’ve had plenty of girlfriends, actually. I mean, how many relationships have you been in? You’re not exactly an expert.”

Brow pinched together, you threw a chunk of meat a little too close to the boy’s sneaker, “I don’t have to be an expert in relationships to be an expert at girls, Harrington. You might’ve forgotten, but I am one. And that advice is bull crap.”

“Well, it’s worked for me, hasn’t it?”

“Oh, sure. I mean, that’s why you’re out here with us, right?” You watched as Steve’s Adam’s apple bobbed, the annoyance from his face draining slightly as he watched you, hurt in his eyes.

Refusing to give in, you quickly spun back around, “Just take my advice, Henderson. If a guy acts like he doesn’t care, we’re gonna presume he doesn’t, and that’s not cute.”

Dustin was quiet for a moment as he considered his options. You were, in fact, a girl. But Steve did have a reputation in town that even he’d heard of. Girls in his grade fawned over the idiot, as did their mother’s. So, leaning in a little closer, Dustin dropped his voice, “So then what? After you act like you don’t care?”

“You just wait until, uh… until you feel it.”

“Feel what?”

Sighing, Steve resumed throwing the meat pieces, his own voice a little quieter in an attempt to keep you and your wrong opinions out of his conversation. He didn’t know much, but Steve definitely knew how to get the girl,

“It’s like before it’s gonna storm, you know? You can’t see it, but you can feel it, like this, uh… electricity, you know?”

“Oh, like in the electromagnetic field when the clouds in the atmosphere-”

“No, no, no, no… Like a… Like a sexual electricity.”

“Oh.”

Steve threw another chunk of meat on the path, doing his best to avoid stepping on the pieces you’d already thrown, “You feel that, and then you make your move.”

“So that’s when you kiss her?”

“No, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Romeo.”

“Sorry…”

“Sure, okay, some girls, yeah… They want you to be aggressive. You know, strong, hot, and heavy, like a… Like a, I don’t know… Like a lion. But others, you gotta be slow, you gotta be stealthy… Like a… Like a ninja.”

“What type do you think she is?” Dustin questioned, his head tipping toward you slightly, causing Steve’s brows to pull together in thought.

“I, uh… I don’t know. I don’t think she even knows.”

The boys watched you for a moment as you haphazardly threw the meat slices in front of you, mouth still twisted in disgust at the copper-like smell invading your nostrils from the raw meat, but your head was tipped upward slightly, no longer concerned with their conversation and instead focused on your surroundings. On alert, almost.

“What about Nancy?”

Steve turned toward the younger boy, brows pinched slightly, “She’s uh… Nancy’s different. She’s different than the other girls.”

“Yeah, she seems pretty special, I guess.”

“Yeah, she is.”

Dustin let out a long sigh, his mind still clouded with confusion that could only be felt by a preteen, “But this girl’s special, too, you know? It’s just, like, something about her.”

Steve stopped the boy in his tracks, remembering at the last minute to not touch his jacket with his blood-covered gloves, “Whoa, whoa… Hey, you’re not falling in love with this girl, are you?”

“Uh, no. No.”

Steve watched him closely for a moment, not quite believing him, “Okay, good. Don’t.”

“I won’t.”

“She’s only gonna break your heart, and you’re way too young for that shit.”

“Hey losers,” you called out, once again walking backward, “If you wanna reach the junkyard before nightfall, you need to move. You can have your lady's luncheon after... If we survive tonight.”

You turned back around quickly, slipping on one of the damp wooden slacks as the boys picked up their pace. Steve sent Dustin a sideward glance and couldn’t help but feel a slight stab in his chest at the boy's downcast eyes.

“Faberge.”

“What?”

“It’s Faberge Organics,” Steve told him, pointing a glove at his hair as the two continued to try and catch you up.

Making your way into the junkyard you tipped the remaining meat into a large pile, turning when you heard a familiar voice call out,

“I said medium-well.”

Your eyebrows pulled up when you spotted the redhead next to Lucas, a strained, slightly shy smile on her face as the two made their way over.

“Who’s that?” Steve questioned, watching as Dustin watched the girl closely, eyes softening with a slight glint of sadness. And without an answer, Steve knew.

“Max? What the hell are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she sighed, looking around at the yard, “I mean… You said to make friends with them.”

Shrugging, nodded your head toward the large piles of junk, “Fair. Let’s get started.”

The decision had been made. You were to lure the Demogorgon to the junkyard and set it on fire whilst you all took refuge in the abandoned school bus that you were currently boarding up. It wasn’t a half-bad plan, but you still felt a little too over your head.

Placing a large sheet of metal down next to the bus, you held your hand to your chest, flexing the still bruised and sore knuckles that had connected with Billy’s face.

Taking a deep breath, you bent down and grabbed the sheet again, halting halfway back up when you spotted the half-dead grass, a barely there stain covering it. Swallowing deeply, your hands began to shake as flashbacks of last year hit you full force, the memories of the heavy lead pipe in your shaking grip, the sound of it connecting to a skull. The sound of the man dropping to the floor.

“You alright?”

Steve had been casually keeping an eye on you as he helped barricade the bus, noting how you suddenly went stock still, eyes drawn to the grass below your sneakers. When you didn’t respond, he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, giving you a small shake,

“Hey… What’s up? Your hand hurting?”

“It’s none of your business, Harrington.” You scoffed, shaking your head in an attempt to physically remove the memories from your mind, busying your shaking hands by gripping the metal sheet tighter and handing it to Lucas before wandering back through the yard in search of anything else to help.

Steve stood, hands on hips, watching as you stormed off, kicking a can as you went. Max watched, and despite not having much more daylight, the Autumn sun was still bright enough to make her squint slightly,

“What did you do?”

Steve sent her an unamused glance, eyebrows pinching together in offense, “What makes you think I did something wrong?”

“You’re a guy,” Max shrugged before calling out your name and wandering over to help you carry a large wooden ladder.

By the time night fell, you were all securely tucked away in the school bus, Lucas sat atop with his binoculars awaiting any sign of Dart.

Steve sat flicking his lighter open and closed, the soft tinkering sound scratched against your brain in a way that made you want to throw both him and the lighter out of the window. Instead, you remained seated, feet pulled up on the seat next to you as you checked out your hand in the small amount of light left inside the bus.

“So, you really fought one of these things before?” Max asked, her brow cocked slightly as she watched Steve dubiously. At first, she’d assumed Lucas was lying, or at best, exaggerating.

Steve’s eyes met the girls before drifting over to yours, watching as you swallowed thickly and pulled the front of your jacket together subconsciously.

When Steve nodded, Max continued, “And you’re like, totally 100% sure it wasn’t a bear?”

“Shit, don’t be an idiot, okay? It wasn’t a bear. Why are you even here if you don’t believe us? Just go home.” Dustin interrupted, pacing back and forth.

“Henderson, be nice.” You mumbled, sending him a glare. Clearly, he was taking Steve’s advice this time.

Max, with raised brows at the sheer audacity of Dustin’s attitude, scoffed as she stood, making her way toward the ladder where Lucas was still perched as a lookout, “Geesh. Someone’s cranky. Past your bedtime?”

“That’s good, show her you don’t care,” Steve mumbled once the girl was out of sight.

Dustin stood with his hands in his jacket pocket, guilt obvious on his face, “I don’t… Why are you winking, Steve? Stop.”

Shaking your head at the two idiots, you leaned back against the covered window looking toward the roof.

“Is it still hurting?”

Finally meeting Steve’s eyes, you flexed your hand as you studied it, “Kinda.”

“Here, let me see,” Steve pushed himself upward, pocketing his lighter and knocking your knees, hinting at you to move your feet to allow him to sit down.

Apprehensively, you placed your hand into Steve’s outstretched one, eyes boring into him as he turned your hand over a few times, fingers grazing the bruised knuckles, eyes jumping to meet yours when he touched a too-tender bit of skin, “Does that hurt?”

Biting back a sardonic response, you simply nodded, now avoiding his caramel eyes. Steve closed and opened your hand a few times before placing your hand back onto your lap, “I think it’s fine. Probably just bruised but… I don’t think it’s broken.”

Sighing, you held your hand against your chest again, “Nobody ever told me it hurt so much to punch someone.”

“Yeah, well… I’m usually on the other end of a fist, so…”

You felt the corners of your mouth pull up as you finally met his eyes, “I mean, between you and Jonathan, it was like watching two stray cats fight. Pretty embarrassing on both fronts.”

A small laugh escaped Steve as he swiveled slightly on the seat, facing forward, “Yeah well, it wasn’t exactly my finest hour.”

Your leg bounced — thigh brushing against Steve’s own — as you picked at your cuticles, causing the boy to return his attention your way, “You didn’t have to come, you know? We would’ve… I would’ve understood if this was too much for you.”

Placing your hand down on top of your thigh to physically stop it moving, you shrugged, eyes gazing over Dustin who was still pacing, “Wasn’t really an option… I couldn’t leave them to deal with it alone. Couldn’t leave you to deal with it alone, either. Especially after you came back last year, you know?”

Since last year, neither you nor Steve had brought up the Demogorgon attack that left you forever scarred, and you’d really been naive enough to hope that it was a one-time situation. Like Hell wouldn’t rip itself a new asshole and start all of this shit again. You wanted nothing more than to lock your door and hide yourself away, the childish false sense of security that only came from hiding under your blanket — or in your case, the closet — but you couldn’t leave these kids to face that thing alone.

And as you said, Steve came back, and without him, you’d most likely have faced a similar fate to Barb that night. This Demogorgon would have to rip those kids from your cold, dead hands before you’d let it get to them.

“I uh, I heard about your fight with Nancy. At Tina’s party…” you watched as Steve ducked his head, gnawing on his bottom lip, “People fight all the time, alright? You shouldn’t let one drunken fight at some stupid Halloween party ruin your relationship. The roses were a nice touch. I’m sure she’ll love them.”

Steve shifted in his seat, a long, exasperated sigh falling from his lips, “We’ve been pretty on and off since last year.”

Your brows shot up toward your hairline, that was news to you, “I’m sure it’ll be fine, Steve.”

But the boy shook his head, a far-off look in his caramel-colored eyes, “Tommy said he saw her ditching school with Jonathan. Nobody’s seen them since Thursday…”

“Yeah, well… Tommy’s a grade-A dickhead. I wouldn’t pay any attention to him.”

“Easier said than done,” Steve sent you a strained smile, lips pressed tightly together, “I don’t know… Nancy and I, we argue a lot but… Not like this.”

You watched him for a moment, his downcast eyes unable to hold your gaze, “What happened?”

Before Steve could respond, a loud, shrill shriek was heard throughout the junkyard… Dart was here.

Rushing toward the window, you peered through looking for any sign of movement, but the late evening fog had rolled in, distorting your vision, “Guys? What’s going on?”

Moving toward the ladder, Dustin took your place, mumbled words exchanged between himself and Steve as the elder boy continued to search for the Demogorgon.

“I’ve got eyes! 10 o’clock!”

“There,” Steve pointed a finger through the makeshift grate.

“What’s he doing?” Dustin questioned, watching as Dart sniffed around, but remained hidden in the fog, a low-pitched growl echoing around you.

“He’s not taking the bait… Why is he not taking the bait?”

“Maybe he’s not hungry…” Dustin offered, his heart beating so loud it was ricocheting in his ears.

“Maybe he’s sick of cow…”

Your head snapped round, no longer concerning yourself with Max and Lucas who were still perched on the roof, eyes connecting with Steve’s as he pulled away from the window and turned toward you, “Don’t even think about it, Harrington. I swear to God-”

But it was too late, and your words were lost on the boy who’d already made up his mind, nailed bat in his grip as he ignored Dustin’s calls along with your glare, throwing the boy his lighter, “Just get ready.”

Your body froze as you watched him exit the bus, the door creaking as it slid back into place, only moving to grip the grating that covered the window so you could watch the boy’s every move with bated breath.

If Dart didn’t kill him, you just might.

Steve whistled as he made his way further into the fog and further from the safety of the bus.

Rushing down the rickety ladder, Max appeared by your side, “What’s he doing?”

“Expanding the menu,” Dustin shrugged, eyes peeled on Steve and his surroundings, voice full of wonder and awe.

Taking Max’s place atop the bus, you mumbled to Lucas to get back inside, but the boy was as defiant as you remembered, binoculars attached to his face as he watched Steve goad Dart.

“Human tastes better than cat, I promise.”

Eyebrows pinched together, you let out a shaky breath, “I swear to god, I’m gonna kill him. I’m going to drag him back into this bus by his damn hair, and kill him myself.”

Your back straightened, feeling like the oxygen had been punched out of you as the creature appeared from the fog on all fours, a much smaller version of the Demogorgon you’d encountered last year, but still much bigger than Dustin had last seen him as.

If he was malting, shedding his skin, you had no doubt in your mind that this… thing, was going to end up exactly as the one last year had.

You wanted to squeeze your eyes shut, to lock yourself back in the bus and allow the panic attack that was nipping at your heels to enshroud you. Pretend this isn’t happening and wait it out until it was all over.

But Steve was still out there, face to face with a monster, and you couldn’t peel your eyes away from the scene.

Shuffling back, you drew in another shaky breath, eyes darting around the junkyard, hoping there was something that you could use to assist the boy, but knowing you weren’t that brave. Not with those things. And then you saw it. Saw them.

“Holy shit. Lucas… Lucas, over there!” The boy turned, jumping slightly as he saw not one, but two more Demogorgons.

Sharing a look with you, the boy called down, “Steve, watch out!”

“A little busy here!” The boy called back, refusing to take his eyes off the beast in front of him. One wrong move, and he’d be in scraps on the floor.

“Harrington, you need to get back here now.”

Steve straightened his back slightly, turning toward you when a movement to his right captured his attention.

“Steve!” Dustin called, rushing to the front of the bus where he opened the door, “Abort! Abort!”

A loud growl could be heard before Steve had even managed to consider moving, one of the Demogorgons ran toward him on all four legs. Managing to roll over the trunk of an abandoned car, Steve swung his bat as the rest of the monsters began to rush him.

You rushed down the ladder and back into the bus with Lucas on your heel, and shoved your way past Max and Dustin, both calling the older boy’s name as he began his sprint back towards the sanctuary of the bus, which in hindsight wouldn’t be able to keep the monsters out for long.

Steve met you at the door, your hand connecting with the lapel of his jacket to help haul him inside as Dustin hit the door lever, the sound of the metal clanging as the monster ran head first into it, unable to fully come to a stop.

Managing to turn in your grip, the momentum from Steve sent you both backward and the boy used his long legs to press against the door as the monster began to ram itself against it in an attempt to gain entry.

“Are they rabid or something?” Max asked, more confused than ever.

Managing to grab a sheet of metal from the windshield, Steve held it against the door and pressed against it with his feet once more as Lucas and Dustin continued to yell behind you. The bus lurched, a clear sign the other Demogorgons were now attacking the bus as you shoved Steve forward, rolling out from under him,

“Get to the back, and stay low.” You barely sent the kids a glance as you began to look around the bus for anything to use as a weapon whilst Steve began to whack at the monster who’d managed to get a claw through the metal sheet.

Dustin grabbed his radio, shouting for help from anyone who would listen, until a large claw hit at the back door, denting it in the shape of its hand.

“Shit!” Dustin yelled, trying his radio once more, “We’re at the old junkyard, and we are going to die!”

You didn’t bother to berate him, nor did you bother to hold out any hope that someone would be able to help, too focused on pressing your back against a large hunk of metal that was keeping one of the monsters outside, hoping to God it wouldn’t pierce through both the metal and yourself.

A loud banging could be heard from the roof, and it took you a second too long to remember that the ladder was still in place, giving whatever was on the roof free access to get inside. Max, who was standing almost directly under the gap let out an ear-piercing scream as the monster growled at her, and you felt absolutely helpless as you stood against the door, constantly slamming your full body weight back into it, trying in vain to keep the monster out.

Steve, thankfully, was quicker than you, and rushed toward the ladder, shoving Max out of his way and into safety as the demogorgon looked down on him, mouth wide open as it continued to growl.

“You want some? Come get this!” Steve shouted with the bat raised high and ready to attack.

Your brows pulled together in confusion as the clanging against the door stopped, no longer shoving into your back. Steve had also frozen, his once protective stance relaxing ever so slightly as he watched the monster peer over its own shoulder, no longer interested in the 5-piece human nugget meal that was on offer inside the bus.

You heard one last growl before the bus shook once more, the monster leaping from it. You could hear the growls of the other monsters, but they seemed to be getting quieter and more distant. But you still couldn’t find it in yourself to push away from the door, too scared that they were just playing with their food.

You all stood in a tense silence for a moment, eventually realizing that for some reason, the monsters had left. Sucking in a long, deep breath you tried to blink away the tears that lined your eyes as you focused on the driver's seat in front of you.

Steve approached you much like he would a wounded animal, steps light and eyes soft and wide as he appeared in front of you, bat still in his grip but no longer protectively raised, “Hey, it’s alright. They’ve gone. We’re okay.”

Your breath released a little too shaky for your own liking, but as the adrenaline left your body, you began to shake, still too afraid to step away from the door.

Steve’s eyes only narrowed as they took you in, scanning your body for any injuries you might’ve had that could cause you to suddenly become mute. Once he was certain you weren’t going to end up bleeding out in the back of his Beamer once again, he placed his bat on the driver’s seat and stepped into your space, eyes finding yours as he ducked his head slightly.

Stepping forward, you ignored the clattering of metal as the sheet you had been holding up fell to the floor, chest bumping against Steve’s as you pulled him into a tight hug, nails digging slightly into his shoulders as your arms wrapped around him. Steve’s eyebrows shot up toward his hairline, shock evident on his soft features as he stood frozen for just a moment before finally wrapping his own arms around you, one hand rubbing up and down your back in an attempt to soothe you.

“I need to uh, I need to go check they’re gone. Just stay here, alright?” Steve’s words were murmured into your hair as he slowly untangled himself from you, pulling back and gazing down at you until you nodded, “I’ll be right back.”

Steve stepped off the bus as silently as he could — which considering there was scrap metal everywhere wasn’t all that quiet — with his bat raised, ready to strike but hoping he wouldn’t have to. Once the coast was finally clear, the rest of you trailed out behind him.

“What happened?” Lucas asked, eyes still darting around the junkyard just in case.

“Steve scared ‘em off?”

“No,” Steve sighed, turning to face the group, “No way. They’re going somewhere.”

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