#pain and suffering and so on and so forth

[banquetwriter]

୨୧ invisible scars ୨୧

this was the request sent via DM: 1.fluff

2. Johnnie Guilbert

Hey! I love your writing and I was hoping if you could do one about Johnnie Guilbert x reader where the reader has hyperesthesia and they are feeling sad because of how people don't understand her and take her condition seriously and Johnnie comforts her? It would mean a lot to me since I have struggled with hyperesthesia. Thank you for your time! xx @tacuuuu

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ Jake being a dick lol, mentions of pain, reader being sad

summary: ʚ Johnnie defends your invisible illness ʚ

Words: 950

An: so sorry I have been sucking lately I'm literally dying lol, also there is very little online for hyperesthesia so I did my very best haha 🖤

Your whole body was riddled with the feeling of pins and needles. It was numb with pain, the occasional burning sensation coming in waves across your body. It was the third and last day of Coachella weekend two, and your body was wrecked.

You had more caffeine and boos than your body could handle. It was about 2:30 and it was time to start getting ready and pregame. Your muscles felt like they were guitar strings that had been played too much.

You took a deep sigh tightening the snuggly soft blanket you had wrapped yourself in. You sat not listening to the conversations around you. “Y/n!!” Tara shrieked looking at you. You reluctantly moved your head up to look at her. She was halfway done with her makeup already and had her hands placed on her hips.

“I'm sorry Tara but I'm probably not going to go tonight. I will just crash into Airbnb,” you mumbled with a sorry expression. “Y/nnnnn!” she whined, turning around to keep getting ready. “I know I know, I’m sorry Tara.” you apologized flopping back on the couch.

Suddenly you heard the door open, you peeked out of your blanket to see Jake and Johnie walking through the door. A small part of you was so relieved to see Johnnie. You knew he would understand like he always does.

He is always there for you, his touch seemingly a remedy for your pain. You sit up and pout watching Johnnie move his way to you. Jake opens the fridge and pulls out a drink. “Hey, sweetheart,” Johnnie mumbles, wrapping his arms around you.

You sink into his touch, feeling your nervous system calm down. “Bad pain day?” he asks as you close your eyes. You take a deep breath milking this moment in. “Yeah, not sure what brought it on,” you mumbled, Johnnie kissed your forehead humming against your skin.

You opened your eyes and smiled at your boyfriend. You took in his outfit. God, he looked so damn fine. “Shit, you're looking like a smoke show,” you remark, eyeing him up and down. He rolls his eyes with a grin.

Jake walks over to the two of you while wiggling his hips back and forth. “You two crazy cats ready to have one hell of a last day?” he asks while taking a sip from his drink. “Oh, I'm not going anymore,” Johnnie says nonchalantly. Both you and Jake snap your heads towards him.

“No way Jose!” Jake says, putting his hand on his chest in shock. “What?” you ask, pulling away from Johnnie’s arms slightly. “You're in pain. You need to be taken care of today. I'm not just gonna leave you.” he said, meeting your eyes.

“Nuh-uh, you're joining us!” Jake yelled out looking at Johnnie. “Johnnie, don't ditch them!” you whisper screamed. “Y/n you're having a bad day I'm gonna be here for you,” he promised.

Your heart swelled with adoration at his words, an equal part of guilt. Your worst fear was coming true. You were dragging others down with your disability. “Dude y/n says it's fine! Just come get drunk.” Jake says encouragingly.

“No dude,” Johnnie says calmly, just shaking his head. You felt a little awkward sitting there now. You had never ever wanted to make other people suffer from what you go through. Your heart clenched with anxiety.

“Jesus Johnnie it's not even that bad. Y/n still does stuff all the time! They went on a run the other day!” Jake moaned dramatically, bending his knees for emphasis. You cringed at his words. While it was true some days you had energy others you certainly did not and this was one of those days.

Before you could defend yourself Johnnie was quick to step up. “Dude that's not how it fucking works. Not everyone's issues are visible, you know that. They are at real risk with their blood pressure being so high. So no I'm not going I'm going to stay and take care of my girlfriend ok?” Johnnie says, his eyes open wide with anger.

Jake had looked like a kicked puppy. He looked over at you with a small sad smile. You had almost forgotten you were there for a second, finding it hard to believe anyone as incredible as Johnnie would defend you like that.

“Hey um, I'm sorry y/n I swear I didn't mean it like that. It's totally ok if you need rest some days, I was being a little bit of an idiot.” Jake sheepishly admits. You open your mouth to speak but no sound comes out. You shoot a quick glance at Johnnie before you look back at Jake.

You take a deep sigh before calming him down. “Don't worry man. If I could change it I would,” you mutter before standing up and making your way to your ‘bedroom’.

You sink into your bed, no longer feeling the comforting touch of Johnnie. And thankfully it wasn't long before he walked into the room. You didn't turn to look at him at all, you just let him walk over to the bed.

You hear shuffling for a minute before the bed dips down with his weight. His arms wrap around your torso pulling you into him. You let your eyes close as his comfort slowly dulls the numbness in your body.

“Thank you,” you mumble against the pillow. “Of course,” he says softly. “You will never be too sick for me. I'm always right here,” he mumbled a second later. Neither of you moved, but you could swear when you were having a better you would tell him how greatful you were.

#jake and johnnie #johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert fluff #johnnie guilbert x reader #johnnie guilbert x you #johnnie x you #johnnie guilbert angst #johnnie x reader

[icewindandboringhorror]

still have my 8 month long lingering chest injury that just came out of nowhere with no cause where it just flares up and I have a lot of pain near my collar bones and chest and shoulders for a few days, HOWEVER I have recently discovered that sometimes I can get temporary relief by sticking a wet q-tip up my nose to make myself sneeze, which on like the 3rd or 4th sneeze will occasionally audibly pop a little bone in the center of my ribs or something and then it doesn’t feel as bad. Hopefully there will be a better more comprehensive solution someday but also there would be a humor to that just being part of my regular routine forever now... like, oh hold on I have to go do my daily self induced sneeze sessions for my mysterious bone pain

#I've had an upper endoscopy. ekg. stress test and heart ultrasound thing. bee to a physical therapist. etc. etc. And still... the constant #recurring chest pains #The only think I can think of that they haven't done is like.. look look at the actual like.. situation in there #I think maybe I just need to ask for an x-ray or something?? like to look at my chest bones and muscles and stuff #maybe I hve some weird condition where once every few weeks one of my rib bones pops out of place a little and it just need #s to be put back or something hjbhj idk how skeletons work #I've heard of people saying like 'oh my knee popped out of place i just have to adjust it' or whatever so.. maybe that can happen #with other bones too??? #I am EDS adjacent (like if it were a spectrum I would be halfway there I have similar and related issues in a way that is #not so severe that like my organs are tearing or I'm consantly having problems but enough to cause frequent joint pain #and other issues and I'm super felixible and etc.) so idk even if I'm not As Bad As Super Severe Official Cases maybe I still #could have some sort of weird bone join muscle whatever thing going on #IDK #pain and suffering and so on and so forth #I just think the sneeze solution is funny #I used to legit come home from school in elementary school and sit and watch cartoons while I made myself sneeze because I thought it was #funny and I liked that eventually it makes you really snotty and your eyes are teared up so then I could also make it seem like I was #just crying and act out dramatic scenarios with my imaginary friends alone in my room pretending I was in some very serious movie where #I had just been sobbing or somehting ghghbj #Now it has come back to be a useful part of my life again somehow

[secundus-cinaedus]

hate this fuckin heat (repeated 96x)

#pain and suffering and so on and so forth #щ

[fawnarchive]

im sick but also crying about wrio today

#fawn.txt #i think i got covid. um. but #wrio is so good. i have always believe there is strength in kindness and he is such a good example of that #to have so much tragedy and harm but persevere. is very. ihfakjk. i care him #to see the horrible life you have been dealt and instead go forth to make sure no one suffers that same pain #to make it fair for those who are never looked after and cared for. #i. love him #Been Known To Bite ⛓️ #NOW COME HOME BECAUSE I NEED YOU. #i feel to sick to actually grind for primos. i am getting nowhere in work #head in hands.

[chayscribbles]

the hardest part of writing a redraft by far is finding a balance between "it still doesn't have to be perfect" and "i am now the Future Me that Draft 1 Me delegated all their problems to and i actually have to, you know, solve those problems now"

#the pain and the suffering and so on and so forth #chay's shenanigans

[catilinas]

#pain death agony torment suffering woe and and so forth #make the niche memes you want to see in the world #mphilposting #beeps

[syncopation53]

Ok ok I Know I’m being a fucking hypocrite when I say I’ve started thinking about ways to make the Fireteam Buckaroos approach work for Lightfall after writing all that about Xira but listen just hear me out

Right now I’m focused on rearranging the strand plotline to fit into the main vs calus/witness narrative and I thought that maybe the “interwoven threads that connects every living consciousness” power could be better tied (lol) to the witness taking over ghost like we see in the cutscenes. it’s spoken to us through our ghost before, certainly, but this is the first time (that I know of at least. I haven’t read every single lore tab about it forgive me) that it’s used our ghost as a proxy of sorts to communicate with someone else, namely calus, through the broken glass powerpoint transition effect. I was thinking about maybe furthering that, have the witness speak through our ghost as normal at first, and then as we grow closer and closer to mastering strand it starts doing those glass facetime calls, first solely visible to us, then physically present by the end. the illusion of heightening the stakes as it gets closer to its goal through the use of our own determination to stop it. something like savathun in wq but isn’t dropped as a midpoint twist so as to give guardians any fighting chance. whatever the opposite of a deus ex machina is. the devil ascending from below at the end of the story to utterly wreck any chance of hope the characters thought they had at the very end

So, fireteam buckaroos re: That cutscene. Ravan, one of the titans on the team, is the one I’ve decided to link the closest with calus/the leviathan in general so of course he’s going to be there at the finale. Caoilinn too, given that she’d be intrigued by the notion of a barely post-golden age ishtar facility and the nature of the veil as something of the light as well. she would want to take the thing apart piece by piece but that’s an issue for another day. in their own little three-man setup, that leaves Kai, who throws himself headfirst into dangerous territory with a “don’t fucking tell me what to do” attitude simply because it would piss the vanguard off the most at the time, who not only accepts but embraces the chance to follow the dark and turn away from the light because the light is pain and subjugation but the dark is freedom, who by the end has cultivated the mastery needed to fully harness strand and its infinite web of paracausality

And Kai is perhaps the only member of fireteam buckaroos who would hesitate to point a weapon at their own Ghost and take the shot

#anyways still losing my mind about that cutscene. it’s gonna be a terrible time for everyone no matter who it is that can’t pull the trigger #going back and forth so much on this when i haven’t written out 99.9% of fireteam phoenix’s journey let alone the buckaroos #pain and suffering on planet earth #why can’t all these perfectly-formed fics in my mind just instantly transfer themselves onto word docs so i can quit being mentally ill abou #*about all the characters that live in my brain #destiny oc #destiny ocs #destiny 2 oc #lightfall #lightfall spoilers #fireteam buckaroos #oc: kai #oc: ravan lothur #oc: caoilinn asari #oc talk #legacy dot text

[latinokaeya-moving]

treated myself to the very short beginning section of three houses just now but i had to stop n turn off my switch when the game asked me to pick a house bc i started agonising over whether to go w edelgard first or just jump straight into the claude route

#x #fe posting #everyone and their momma says to leave verdant wind for last bc it’s the most satisfying to tie up all loose ends route #and to do azure moon or crimson flower first. bc they work better as one of the first routes #and i TOLD myself ok ok sure i’ll do edelgard first then that’s fine. i like her and a lot of the black eagle characters im sure it’ll be #fun. but meeting claude in game and giggling n twirling my hair over everything he says is KILLING MEEEEEE i can’t abandon him i can’t IM #GONNA FEEL SOOOO BAD #he’s so charming crying real tears rn. i Know what i need to do but man…. pain n suffering … #i remember seeing a take somewhere once that said smth abt how claude gets so permanently shut out of the true potential of his goals on any #route that doesn’t pick him bc he doesn’t get the chance to really establish himself / figure out all the secrets of the game #and so he’s just narratively. barred/locked out from his dreams for good. and ever since i read that it makes me wanna crawl up n DIE when #i think abt it CLAUDE. CLAUDEEEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #also just in general he’s SOO funny and quirky i love him so much he only said like maybe ten lines total but he’s literally such a riot #playing the game while knowing what his entire deal is is HILARIOUS he’s so fucking funny. and painfully tragic even from the get go. AUGH #one of his first things being calling himself the embodiment of distrust is so. it’s just so!!!!! like he WANTS u to know it’s all an act #EVERYONE knows it he’s not being subtle at all BUT THATS THE POINT!!!!! bc if everyone knows it’s an act that he plays around w then they #wont go snooping around as much!!!! AUGHHHHHHHHH !!!! CLAUDE !!!! #im going crazy i shouldn’t have played this i need to finish my last assignment first. n then i can lose my mind over claude #OHHH also can i just say his + edelgards first interactions are SOOOOO funny they’re so much fun. i love their little banter n back n forth #literally iconic showstopping no one can top them EVER #anyways. it’s almost 3am i need to sleep n write my essay tmrw lol

[simptasia]

it is 4 degrees and i am suffering, i fucking hate the cold so fucking much

#i've heard the arguments as to why cold weather is supposedly better than hot weather #to which i say: i don't fucking care i fucking hate winter so much #actually its spring here! but spring refuses to fucking KICK IN #please im begging #summer makes me suffer too i won't deny it but winter hurts me so much worse #its so hard sleeping at night in a bed that feels like its made of ice #oh and any of you try to pull that ''lol 4 degrees? thats not cold. not where i'm from'' #1. fuck you and 2. I AM AUSTRALIAN. AND I AM ANGRY #i am in physical pain #oh btw i don't have a heater in my room. the one i was using became an electrical hazard #so my room - which gets colder than the rest of house - has been especially icy #ya know what i miss. i miss when there were actually 4 seasons #oh yeah socially there are 4 seasons. but functionally there's only two nowadays #i miss when autumn and spring actually behaved like autumn and spring so we could have a break #from the horrible heat or crushing cold #or some days early in the year when it flips randomly back and forth! which is terrible for the immune system! #grrrrr being cold makes me very grumpy

[catfishofoldin99colours]

oh this week is gonna be a BAD time to be off my meds : - )

#catfish speaks #for context i am low on supply and havent set up a doctor's appointment to get a refill cos i had to MOVE BACK HOME #which involved DRIVING ACROSS THE ENTIRE SOUTHERN HALF OF THE COUNTRY #so yknow been a Bit preoccupied #anyway now im suffering from chronic fatigue and pain and also my adhd is going nuts #BECAUSE I HAVENT BEEN TAKING MY MEDS COS I FORGOT #AND I FORGOT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN TAKING THEM #i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow #but regardless #i am waiting to hear back on some jobs hopefully #and i BOOKED a doctors appointment tomorrow #but apparently my mum thinks im just not doing anything ever #like hey mum. IM DISABLED #GET OFF MY BACK #im so pissed rn #really fucking hoping the new doctor im seeing tomorrow will just give me a prescription for SOMETHING #and its not a nightmare back and forth idiocy hurdle #i am having a genuinely bad time and possibly liable to hurt myself if i dont get medicated soon :) #(not sure how true that statement is but i haven't fully gone cold turkey off these meds before so. yippee)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#*problems occur on a project multiple ppl r working on* my boss @ me: what do u wanna do? #me. disastrously burnt out: i couldnt not even to give a fuck abt all this. i dont care i dont care i dont care #but thats not what i say. i say ok ill talk to the ppl and see how i can drop everything to help. and that probably means driving an hour #away to the other uni which is irrationally terrifying to me to the point where it will probably destroy my whole week a prevent me from #sleeping when i already am struggling to sleep. but its fine. ill get it done and itll be fine. for this stupid fucking project i dont #care abt. ay its so weird. ive never been this angry abt things. i mean its not even really anger its more dispair and frustration but it #manifests as just wanting to scream and throw a fit like a toddler. and i mean its my fault. i dont have to live the way that i do. i mean #i do but in an irrational compulsive way that i cant entirely control. but like its Saturday and i sepent 6 and a half hours taking #measurements and then met with my boss for like an hour and she was showing me cool imagines and talking abt cool new collaborators at her #new school and im just sitting there trying to maintain a smile bc my brain is semi disconnected from my body and im so exhausted #ugh. my brain is so fucked rn. i dont want to drive with even lower functioning thsn usual. and i was gonna meet my friend Tuesday morning #for once. and i might have to drive back and forth multiple days. ans what's my reward if were successful? two fucking weeks of watering #and measurement taking and i might have to stand around other ppl in all that time as well. usually im off spinning in circles by myself #amd looking unapproachable. i dont want to have to b a person around the undergrads #god im so weird. its like from the outside perspective if u were looking thru the window at me u would see me using a hammer and assume im #putting something together and i am but im also hammering nails thru my hand which no one asked me to do #so then why do i have to do it? ugh. thats y its a hard thing to complain abt bc ppl r like oh it sounds like ur compulsive habbits make u #productive and successful and yea sure but they're also destroying my life. im laying on the floor doubled over in pain and ppl r like oh #look how useful u r. who gives a fuck everything feels stretched and distorted like im suffering some sort of selfimposed Devin punishment #whatever. fuck this. tomorrow ill try my hardest to relax. literally i cant remember the last time i stayed in bed until at least 7am. ugh #but i also have some bullshit i have to get done tomorrow so well see #uuuuuugh let me leave this place @ schools send me ur official offers pls i wanna plan out my life for the next 5yrs #unrelated

[playtwewy]

no, I'm fine. yeah, I know all my favorite characters are doomed by the narrative. I'm handling it!

#protag.txt #sick and twisted. screaming crying. pain and suffering and so on and so forth...

[onenightbreak]

love that tumblr converts gifs to webp but doesn't support adding webps directly to a post /s

#pain and suffering and so forth #wren.ramble

[loverboy-ish-archive]

andromeda.

#i miss my old blog for many reasons :/ but rn it's bc of that round of music recs augh #like i Have. actually got the music recs in my playlists but augh. :( Talking About It :( #jv.docx #weeping and sobbing forever and ever pain and misery suffering and agony so on and so forth- you know

[pepprs]

okupdate i am not going into the office today and also i took a covid test and i don’t have covid but i am nauseous on top of having a headache now so 💃🏻

#purrs #misery pain suffering despair agony wretchedness etc etc so on and so forth

[lovesong]

how did i let myself become so horrifically pathetically in love with a guy who turned me down over a year ago i'm such a moron. like i've really sat here & let him break my heart over & over just because he's nice to me & likes touching me & having sex with me sometimes . . but in my defence how am i supposed to get over him when he's so sweet & smart & patient & understanding & he tips his head back when he laughs & always smells like laundry & puts sugar in his hot chocolate & can't sit still & tries so so hard & cares so much & knows just what to say & tells me i'm amazing & rubs my back & hugs me from behind when i'm sad & lets me keep his clothes & hold his hand when i have a panic attack & gets me water & he knows how to belong everywhere in the world & reads entire books to try to understand me better & his arms are the safest place i've ever been & being touched by him is like being water kissed by sunlight like 😐😐 god really said i crafted an angel out of my spare sunshine & i'm sending him to you & you get to touch him & be loved by him but you don't get to keep him & he was never really yours to begin with & now you just have to move on with your life like anything else could ever compare & figure out how to be just friends & watch him move on when you've felt the warmth of his affection & been so close to being his & you know what it feels like to have his hands & his mouth everywhere & drift off in his arms & the only place you know where to live is his lap & with his hand in yours but you can never go back there & sometimes it will feel okay because he's still your best friend & he'll pick you up & spin you around & play with your hair & say all the same reassuring words & be funny & charming & lovely but then sometimes the distance will drown you & you'll sob yourself to sleep & when he's there you'll have to hold back your tears & know that your hurt is hurting him but have no way of stopping it & not know how to live & what to do with your hands & who to run to when the one you used to run to is right there but just out of reach & only ever gonna get further & further away from you & will find someone to hold who he feels something real for & will leave with her someday & not you & you just have to be okay with it all & pretend like the hurt & the jealousy aren't making your heart bruise like a piece of fruit he picked up for a while but decided he didn't want after all 🫶🫶🫶

#handling the situationship breakup v well #it'll be ok in the end but goddamn !!! i sure am suffering the consequences of my actions 😃 at least the dick was crazy <3 #sorry for using cringy poetic comparisons to express my feelings. it'll happen again #speaking of. stay tuned to see if i beat the urge to wait for the next time he wants me like a dog with a bird at his door #i need to unwrap myself from his finger #if not for me then for our friendship #if we go on the way we have been all this aching is gonna turn into resentment & i don't want that — he's too important to me #but i think he's serious this time anyway #there's peace in my pain ig 🤙 #the back & forth was good when it was good but it was making us hurt each other #at least this is just one hurt to get used to #& hurting him so much is the last thing on this earth i ever wanna do again. so hopefully this will help w that #& maybe someday i can love him the way he wants w no red strings attached #tldr i <3 being dramatic. goodnight ⭐😴 #hope i dream of the alternate reality where he loves me back. ik it's out there #or maybe a visit would just hurt more. idk #i like it here anyway. even when it hurts & even when i forget how to. this is my life & i wanna see how it turns out #hope we look back & laugh at how foolish i was & how i feared i'd never find anything better than this. i'm only 20 after all #but if this really is it (unlikely) (but if it is) at least i got to lie in the sunlight for a little #just have to deal w the sunburn now