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whoneedsapublisher · 11 months

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Transformed into a Tryst

I just finished Persona 5: The Royal the other day (I played the original back near launch) and I was inspired to write some Shuake, inspired by another tumblr post.

Words: ~2000

Summary: Platonic outings to western restaruants were fraught with social pitfalls, apparently. Or so Joker claimed.

Also on Ao3

*******************

Goro Akechi was not entirely sure how he’d ended up in this situation.

“Amamiya,” he said. His face was a perfect mask of civility, as always, but he wondered if perhaps by now Joker knew him well enough to see through that. “You were listening to what I said during our previous meeting, correct?”

“Of course,” Joker adjusted his glasses. It wasn’t something he did out of any practicality, given that Akechi’s research had uncovered that Joker had 20/20 vision, so it must be either for effect or some kind of nervous habit. Akechi strongly suspected the former. “I always pay attention to what you say.”

There was a curious edge to that last statement. It was part of why talking to Joker was always so interesting, despite how infuriating Akechi found him. He was never quite sure exactly what was going through Joker’s head. Akechi was sure that he’d played his part perfectly. That the Phantom Thieves had accepted him as one of them, or at least a temporary ally. Everything was going according to plan. And yet, somehow, that offhand phrase from Joker almost sounded like a warning. A careful reminded that Akechi needed to watch his words, lest he give himself away.

Regardless…

“I take it that you recall the part where I said I hate you then, right?” Akechi said.

“I do,” Joker replied, unfazed.

“Then why are we at this western themed steak restaurant together?”

Joker shrugged nonchalantly. His bag sat on the floor next to him, and, as far as Akechi had seen so far, Morgana wasn’t hiding in it this time. It really was just the two of them.

“You tell me,” Joker said. “You accepted the invitation.”

…Well. He certainly had him there. It was true- even if he was playing friends with the Phantom Thieves currently, he didn’t need to go this far to build their trust. He could have claimed he was busy, at the very least. It wasn’t if this was a team meeting, where he had to show up to put on an act of sincerity. He could just claim he had something else he had to do, like he had all those times Joker had run into him in Kichijoji.

And yet he’d accepted this invitation anyway.

The waiter appeared, saving him from answering for the moment.

“Hello! Welcome to the Outback Steakhouse. Can I get you any drinks or appetisers for today?”

All of a sudden, there was a mischievous gleam in Joker’s eyes that Akechi had learned to watch out for. This time, hopefully, he wouldn’t have his hair mussed. “I’ll have a large strawberry kiwi lemonade. With a couple’s straw, please.”

“Ah…?” the waiter said, looking uncomfortable. Well, of course he did. He couldn’t tell how to take Joker’s comment. He’d delivered it with that deadpan tone that he loved to use for his strangest jokes. The waiter didn’t whether Joker was serious, and clearly wasn’t comfortable being unclear how to act in this situation. And probably wasn’t all that comfortable with the idea that it might not be a joke.

Akechi faked a smile and managed a disgustingly false polite laugh. “Ahaha, Amamiya, you’re always such a joker.” He turned to the waiter. “He’ll be fine with a regular straw. As for myself, I’ll have an iced tea. And could we also have a blooming onion, please?”

“Right!” the waiter said, looking relieved. “Strawberry kiwi lemonade, iced tea, bloomin’ onion. Coming right up.”

Ugh. He actually said it bloomin’, complete with the twee apostrophe. Doubtless a requirement of the job, but it still made Akechi slightly nauseous at the simpering corporate submission of it.

“Thank you,” he managed, complete with a thankful smile.

“Uh oh,” Joker said, as the waiter strolled away out of earshot.

“What?” Akechi said.

“This was just a platonic event,” Joker said, leaning forward and tenting his fingers in front of his face. “But by ordering the “bloomin’ onion”, registered trademark-”

Ugh. It was like Joker could tell how much the blasted apostrophe and corporate precision irritated him, and had doubled down on it just to get under his skin. And yet, Akechi couldn’t quite decide whether to be irritated at it, or amused at the sardonic overcompliance.

“-You’ve transformed this outing irrevocably into a romantic tryst.”

“Is that so?” Akechi said, flashing a fake smile. “Well, I’m glad that I know for next time to just get the onion rings.”

“So long as you’ve learned, I’ve done my job,” Joker said, continuing his absolutely deadpan delivery. “Just make sure to be careful. You’ll get people’s hopes up.”

“Perhaps I should tell them in advance that I hate them, so that they’ll have realistic expectations,” Akechi siad.

“Probably won’t be enough. There’s all kinds of love, you know.”

How the hell would Akechi know? What the hell would he know about LOVE?! Akechi could feel his rage boiling, but he forced it down. Let Joker make his little quips about love and friendship. It would make the moment when he died in a rotten jail cell, alone and hopeless, all the sweeter.

“Thank you for your advice, as always,” he said. “I hope none of the entreés on this menu will give any kind of unspoken signal.”

“Let me check,” Joker said.

That was another thing Akechi despised about Joker.

He really could be damn funny.

*******************

“Here again? What, do you actually like this overpriced foreign garbage?”

Once again, Akechi found himself sitting in an Outback Steakhouse with Joker. A Joker who managed to be quite the wildcard indeed, considering how he’d managed to weasel his way out of certain death, and then defeat Akechi with his little friends.

And then it had been Akechi’s turn to weasel out of death. Although the method was… uncertain.

“I thought it would make a nice bookend,” Joker said. “This was the last place we went to before our little mutual betrayal.”

“Mutual? Please. You don’t need to sugarcoat it and pretend like there was an equivalence there. I betrayed you, and you stopped my plan succeeding. I don’t recall you violating the deal we made.”

“Didn’t I? We promised to steal Prosecutor Nijima’s heart, didn’t we?”

“Hmph. And who was it that stopped you doing that? Don’t pretend like I didn’t do all the actual backstabbing.”

It was so like Joker to twist things like that. To soften Akechi’s cruelty down to a rivalry between them. To turn his serial killings into Shido’s fault. Akechi didn’t need any of it. He’d made his own choices. He didn’t need Joker’s cheap mercy, that kind hand that he’d stretch out for any sad puppy that crossed his path.

“I guess I can’t argue with that,” Joker said. “So as payback for betraying me, I’m dragging you to this foreign restaurant you don’t even like, and I’m not even going to treat you.”

Akechi smirked.

“That’s an awfully petty revenge, isn’t it?”

“I’m not that creative,” Joker said. One of his more outrageous lies, but as usual, delivered completely deadpan.

“Fine,” Akechi said, picking up the menu. “I’ll humour you this time.”

One last time. Before they saw Maruki tomorrow, and gave him the calling card. The end of their new “deal”. Where they’d part ways again.

A waiter appeared and spouted the same corporate boilerplate as last time. This time it disgusted Akechi even more. This was supposed to be Maruki’s saccharine world of unrealistic perfection, wasn’t it? Where no one had to be sad. Which meant this waiter wasn’t suffering through spouting this drivel because he had no choice, he was alright with this.

Or Maruki had screwed up. Considering that Akechi had spotted more than one homeless man during his investigation, and they seemed less than elated at living on the street, it was clear that their so-called god-like entity was far from omniscient.

So far, anyway.

“I’ll just have water,” Akechi said.

“Okie dokie, hokie pokie!” the waiter said, and Akechi’s eye twitched at the folksy twee of it all. “How about you, pardner?”

Joker’s eyes had that gleam again.

God, Akechi hated it. The way that it always made him a little bit curious about what Joker was going to do next, like a moviegoer gripping the armrest and leaning forward as the camera zoomed in. It irritated him.

“I’ll have a lemonade,” he said. “And a Bloomin’ Onion.”

“You have a short memory,” Akechi said, as the waiter wandered off to deliver their orders to the doubtlessly grease-soaked line cook that spent their days in Maruki’s “ideal world” in the kitchen of this damn restaurant.

“Oh? I think my memory’s pretty good,” Joker said. “Otherwise how would I remember you talking about pancakes for such a long time?”

Akechi made a sour face. That was a reminder that he didn’t need.

“You forgot what you said last time about the appetisers here,” Akechi said. “You were quite clear about the supposed hidden meaning of that fried onion you’ve so blithely ordered for us.”

“I didn’t forget,” Joker said.

Akechi paused momentarily.

There was a sudden seriousness to Joker that make Akechi think this wasn’t just another one of his jokes. This wasn’t him playing games with their relationship for his own amusement.

Akechi should tell him in no uncertain terms that his feelings hadn’t changed since he challenged him to a duel. If anything, he hated Joker even more, seeing his mix of compassion and conviction as he dealt with his brainless brainwashed bunch of bandits. Soft. Too soft. If he was going to respect their delusional acceptance of Maruki’s world, he should let them rot in it, and if he was going to tear them free he should bring their false lives down around them in flames. That gentle guiding touch infuriated Akechi.

The two of them were too opposed. Too different. Akechi would never bend to fit into Joker’s idealistic little world. Joker would never break to join Akechi in his anger.

He should get up and leave. To laugh in Joker’s face for this pathetic farce.

If for no other reason than it would make Joker less fond of him. Hopefully, even make him angry at him. So that when the time came, if Akechi was right about how he’d evaded death, Joker would make the right choice. Not one clouded by his stupid affection towards someone who had used and betrayed him.

“If you’re expecting a kiss at the end of the night, you’d better take Maruki’s offer to join his world of dreams,” Akechi said. “Because it won’t be happening in reality.”

“That’s okay,” Joker said. “You’re probably a bad kisser anyway.”

“Maruki couldn’t manipulate me. Don’t think that your second rate reverse psychology will fare any better.”

Joker grinned at him.

That hateful, infuriating smile. Like he looked at Akechi and saw someone he wanted to stay beside. Someone who mattered to him. Not some distant celebrity. Not a burden. Not a tool.

Akechi couldn’t stand it.

*******************

Joker paused before saying it. That pause was the longest in Akechi’s life.

“We’re stopping Maruki,” he said. His tone was flat, but it wasn’t the deadpan delivery of a joke. It was matter of fact. Resolved. Determined.

Akechi smiled.

He should have known. This was the man who’d put his life on the line to save someone who tried to kill him. That would take a promise to a murderer seriously. That would hold on to a dead man’s glove, hoping that they might still get to duel again, one more time.

Of course he’d choose such a disgustingly selfless option when it was put before him.

“All right,” Akechi said. “I’m relieved to hear it.”

His eyes hardened. “I will never accept this form of reality. I’m done being manipulated.”

He still remembered the leering face of the cognitive Akechi. Remembered the disgust at seeing himself in Shido’s twisted view of him as a disposable lapdog, ready to be put down if it tried to bite its master. He wouldn’t let himself become that kind of puppet under Maruki either.

“Let’s go back… to our true reality.”

In the peace of the grave, he’d never have to think about what could have been.

#persona #p5 #p5r #shuake #persona 5

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