#out of touch w everything

[guinevereslancelot]

what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!

#girl what are you doing...... #also just in general she did not deserve him honestly he was so good to her and for WHAT #just to be abandoned at peak devotion and guilt and hotness 🙄 #girl get OUT of my way i'm stronger than you #if she cared she could fix him or make him worse but i could love and support him no matter what 😌 #his muder is a part of him and its SEXY #robert chase #house md #malpractice md #i know the actors broke up irl or whatever but wtf..... #i should have ended my rewatch w their happy lil wedding at the end of s5 #s6 everything instantly goes to shit #and stays shitty #chase should be happy fr #he's supposed to turn into house basically but they should have made him the well adjusted version of house #like how nightwing is the well adjusted version of batman #anyway i have no real point here i just lowkey dont like cameron bc of this arc #also her obsession w house is so weird i wish they hadn't made that a thing #this has been a shitpost #anyway she left chase at the absolute peak of his sexiness wtf....... #anyway since this apparently needs to be said its not that deep this is a silly post if you send me hate messages i wont answer #i block and ignore anon hate bc i am too busy touching grass to be rude to strangers over a tv show

[stuckinapril]

Early morning study sessions, corepower gym classes at 5 am, unhurried walks under the sun w laidback rnb, extensive skincare bc I need time to myself even on booked & busy days, cute fits & nails, keeping track of my multivitamins, putting more effort into phone calls w relatives, engrossing myself in days at my orgo lab or the neuro clinic, volunteering more and more at the refugee center, holding myself accountable, being more in touch w my feelings, getting better at staying in touch w friends, soft & moisturized curls, reading for fun even when my brain tells me I could be doing something productive…. I will make this life beautiful even if it’s by the skin of my teeth etc etc

#February was fine but it was robotic #I just felt out of touch w myself idk how to describe it #March I’ll be on my shit but also grounded & present. That’s the goal I think #February is usually always a ??? month for me but this March I’m resetting and throwing myself into things I’m passionate about #I just wanna imbue the things I do w passion like I used to #Instead of being on autopilot all the time #Literally writing everything into my calendar rn I will make this work

[ichthyorelationships]

an idea i invite anyone else to write about / run with lol....

the premise that The Change gets all messed up for alberto, say it's something that can happen from stress, &/or happens rarely and you just have to wait for it to resolve itself....used as some parallel to struggling through some emotional turbulence / upheaval / questioning / Realizing Things, etc etc

#luca 2021 #pixar luca #alberto scorfano #another idea i've failed to write for & so invite anyone else to run with: ciao alberto but what if he peaces out by swimming off lol #ends up in a coastal town maybe an hour's swim from genoa. but not Getting In Touch w/anyone for a while b/c plausibly he thinks that #giulia may not be a fan of him now by extension; just being too embarrassed asf to reach out to luca kinda lol....luca off doing his own #thing just fine & alberto not wanting to write him now like b/c i Ruined Everything again ahaha.... #and by ''not in touch w/anyone for a while'' who knows. months; a few years even....might stumble across news of him b/c like. #say more sea folk are coming to land / more humans know abt them & not many places are as [harpoon]ly from the start anyways #portorosso exceptional in that way....maybe where alberto settles down they're like legendary but also considered Good Luck anyways lol. #anyways like some people know of him who might; say; swim down to portorosso. have their own teen who knows a teen who mostly lives on land #most convenient re sparking [wow could they mean Our alberto] if he doesn't go so far as to take up an alias lol. but why would he.... #that difference in that massimo might figure that however alberto was surviving before; he could continue to do so now; but even though tha #is some comfort it's still Not Actually Enough....feeling way more Parentally towards alberto than his biological dad like that; obv #and anyways re: this [The Change gets messed up] idea it's more of an inconvenience lol but one that could still have some significance #like if he first finds out the issue exists via hopping right into the ocean; failing to change forms; never being human form'd in water b4 #thee worst....crash intro course to the experience of drowning. observation of How Humans Swim / being able to grab any part of the boat... #and besides That unpleasantness it's like; hey. where's my nonhuman form at #or; of course; being in sea form even while dry....especially if he's still dealing with Nonsense on land. which is presumed. #&/or if there's an upswing in nonsense b/c of Other ways you're Othered...ofc we can consider like; tfw you're a gay fish & maybe that's no #something that on its own would be like Aah until it's like well a) i kinda wanna do things that would make this Visible and b) i've learne #that humans also Have Issues about this kind of thing.... #appropriately my tablet was also all thrown off. no pressure sensitivity; input sensitivity overall was rough #but i would've had to restart my laptop about it lol like eh i'll just work around it

[loving-jack-kelly]

i do have to confess that one of my favorite jack spot dynamics to rotate in my brain is jack being a few years older than spot and knowing him in the refuge/as kids and spot having a Massive crush on him and being extremely pissed about that fact years later when they re-meet/reconnect. he doesn't have a crush anymore he's just angry that it ever happened. jack wasn't a jerk and was in fact completely oblivious to it so there's no reason for spot to be so peeved but he's steaming at the ears every time he remembers being infatuated with jack kelly.

#race thinks it's the funniest thing ever in the entire world #newsies #spot conlon #jack kelly #i like the idea of spot and jack falling out of touch or w/ever (talking modern au now ig) #so when race introduces his new boyfriend/fling/situationship jack is like :))) spot! i know you! #and spot is like >:(((( fuck this. #and then they don't get along for a while because spot is peeved and jack is confused and annoyed and frustrated and race is like ??? #when spot finally forces himself to explain everything to race race tries (and fails) to not laugh his ass off it #he wouldn't tell jack bc that would be breaking spot's (hard won easily lost) trust but he is like Please can u be friends

[krispdreemurr]

thinking about kris dreemurr and trying not to cry

#this sweet kid full of love and pranks and minor crimes #who shines thru despite everything trying to hide them #making dumb jokes with their childhood friend before trying to hit her w a giant eraser #going out of their way beyond all reason just so they can spend more time with a new friend #leaping to defend the people they care for #and yes eating all the pie and touching the cheese and dropping yoshis in the pit #bc theyre a little shit. #theyre so fucking Present in ch2 and ill never stop crying abt them

[unexpectedbrickattack]

👀🍕..

#chattin #i am AWAKE from my nap. and i have thoughts #thinking of that damn 🍕head bc i keep seeing him in my dash…and people draw him w others so well…. #i want him to be like just a silly guy #but a silly guy thats got something a little fucked up wrong w him #mentions of stalking and obsessive behavior -> #like i think i am going to settle w 🍕head being a bit (ALOT…AWFULLY ALOT) obsessed w peppino #like summing it up wo writing an essay; #he wanted peppinos shop and got rejected TWICE. he tried hiring peppino and got chased out of the shop #and it went from ‘i want the shop’ to ‘i want peppino’ to ‘if i cant have the shop neither can he’ #to ‘if i cant have him…well actually thats not an issue at all’ #imitation is the sincerest form of flattery yknow #the peppibots came first bc its like ‘okay i cant have the damn shop but i can just Make a shop w bots that work like him. that cant be too- #-hard RIGHT??’ but the bots are so volatile and unresponsive and they explode everything they touch #and pizzahead is like ‘no… :(‘ peppino looks so angry but makes his food w LOVE…he does NOT explode his food!!! #he doesnt want to scrap the idea but it Is a bit disheartening #and hes like OKAY. WHATEVER! WE ALWAYS HAVE OTHER PLANS….! #theres gotta be cloning labs right? no i dont care about the morality of that shit u sillywilly. FIND ME A LAB. #so now theres little peppino clones everywhere. and they look SO close to the real thing #and pizzahead is like. hol up. i think something is happening that i dont want to happen right now. but im going to put that away for now :) #by this point peppino has already relocated to his Current Spot bc theres literally NOTHING available 😭 #‘enough. to the Woods with you’ #and pizzahead is like there is no fucking way that chump that IDIOT that extremely handsome IDIOT took the damn plot next to the tower #and immediately is like ‘well if im already making the bots AND the clones then i really REALLY dont need u! at all! not even a little!- #-I dont care! i really dont! who needs a strong and smart and handsome man like u around???!!!!!!’ #and pizzahead is like that fucking dumbass😏 watch that shit explode in 6 hours. only um. peppino is storming the tower #and hes like WAIT OH SHIT. KEYS. KEYS WHERW ARE THEY??? THE CLONES! WE AINT GOT NO TIME THE FAT MAN IS COMIN #YOU. ECCENTRIC ARTIST. FIGHT THAT MAN. ‘okay’ YOU WEIRD CHEESE MAN. SHOOT. ‘mkay’ #like hes panicking and throwing shit in the air and running in circles in his little camera room #NOOO im at tag limit…pizzahead hates this man he loves this man he is obsessed and maybe wants him a little carnally. its all good okay bye

[queerasian]

since we’re on this topic, jeremy strong, sarah snook, and brian cox are the main succession cast members who publicly called for a ceasefire in gaza last year (along with a painfully short list of others in the industry). here's brian cox reading "If I Must Die" by Palestinian poet Refaat Alareer who was killed Dec 7.

so if we must spend time on celebrities’ voices (+ disproportionate cultural influence) on the current crisis we should at least elevate the right ones.

#for the record i think any attention and energy ppl have should be channelled towards supporting palestine instead of #expecting celebrities to be grand arbiters of truth and justice and activism like - #just because they're successful actors does not mean they have any knowledge about other areas of life #HOWEVER the reality we live in means that a ton of ppl rely on celebrities to inform their political views and knowledge #because of this association between fame/status and Being Right About Everything #so as long as that is the reality id much rather elevate the voices of those among them who at least try to use #their disproportionately powerful platform for good #anyways thats all i have to say about this. im so tired and like. palestinians are dying as i type this . this whole Thing of #GG actors showing up w ribbons for israel or whatever is just. obscene. and so out of touch with fucking reality #golden globes #succession #queerasian.txt

[shopcat]

turns anon off. i think one aspect of the reason there are intolerably endless amounts of gay and even bi transmascs who claim to not be able to like character who is a woman and use every reason under the sun to justify this, from "i just can't relate to them" to "the writers themselves don't like them so why should i, they're written badly and don't deserve the effort", and additionally, the implication that in order to Enjoy a Character you must be capable of being attracted to them And also be plain attracted to them (which only ever applies to women for some reason, I Wonder Why, and also is a weird mindset to have regardless about anything in the world forever) is because they, AS transmascs with a flawed mindset, particularly with baby transes, are so used to rejecting femininity and some sort of nebulous concept of womanhood that it comes to the point where women are now entirely unrelatable, entirely useless to you as they serve no purpose, entirely unable to be empathised with or liked and entirely unable to exist as people, reduced to nothing and left behind with the "girl clothes" you threw away or whatever.

they're operating under the notion that to be transmasc is to reject being a girl or a woman, and in one foul swoop reject everything about them and everything that may encapsulate that, and fail to see how this is not only obviously some very surface level unsubtextual misogyny, but also absolutely ridiculous and childish and Wrong as a mindset (and somehow fail to see how negative of one it is in the first place... being trans is about embracing what makes you happier and more comfortable, not soullessly rejecting something else). they don't WANT to engage with female characters, they don't fucking care!!!

and to be clear i hold absolutely no sympathy for people who hide behind their own dysphorias and misgivings and identities in order to absolve themselves of having to actually care about women in any substantial way, esp the ones who cling onto the gay/bi identity before anything else bc it provides them some sort of euphoria and then clouds their judgement entirely and leads to situations where people genuinely say "i think the reason i can't relate to women is because im gay (and don't want to fuck them)", and i refuse to sympathise with little boys who refuse to grow the fuck up.

i also think this is particularly important just to note, bc like yeah i'm talking about fictional women here, but it's no surprise to me when these men and boys turn out to be raging misogynists irl, recreate meninism and harbour unquestionable transmisogyny, all bc they've normalised this way of thinking whilst victimising and infantilising themselves at the same time so that they can't be criticised. i would be deeply ashamed if i had the lived experience of a woman in any way, shared everything in common with them that we do and actively chose to turn my back on them. you don't grow misogyny the second you try out he/him pronouns but these idiots sure act like it. if you as a transmasc cannot at all find it in yourself to want to relate to or share experiences with or even just plain like and love and respect women you need to seriously examine why, doubly so for anyone who IS attracted to them in some way for some very obvious reasons.

#🐾 #sorry it's just like incredibly frustrating and a particular and specific issue with transmascs SPECIFICALLY #like obviously the idea of ppl hiding behind their identity isn't new but it's so insidious and cruel in this case #and of course tbis isn't always the case but to be honest i think it's very common #and to be even clearer to not so baselessly reject everything at all to do with the very concept of femininity will make you LESS dysphoric #not more. transmeds have truly rotted peoples brains out of their skulls #not even touching on how half of these people DO embrace it and talk about how they were Girls and all that but then are still. just #literallg misogynists. like i know it's systemic but damn ..! #the idea that some of these guys are also dating women at the same time is super fucking worrying too #i love girls i love mt girlfriends i love women i love female characters my life would not be complete without them i would rather CLAW #my own body apart than be deprived of them. the idea is literally unthinkable. i'm not kidding 😭 #i hate men ... #and the ones who can't go two seconds w/out their yaoi fix then go but it's actually um brave and awesome because you see Homophobia exists #like okay....

[silenthillbunni]

i like making girlies mad by wearing cute feminine clothing paired with hairy legs <333

#genuinely it's funny how upset that can make toxic femininity girlies #they hate em hairy legs sm it's like insane #lets not even mention hairy armpits bc those girlies will literally faint just hearing abt it 🧍🏻‍♀️ #anyway i dont care anymore if you're someone who thinks women have to shave everything just to exist i dont wanna be around u anyway so #im sick of being around ppl who are only interested in making u feel bad for not conforming to their notions and stereotypes #it might sound like a small problem but it actually isnt. im willing to bet most ppl who even read that sentence #couldnt help but internally cringe at the mention of a woman w hairy legs i promise most of y'all did that 💀 #and like lets talk abt how a norwegian insta model posted a pic w her hairy legs out #and got DEATH THREATS. y'all are insane truly u dont only need to touch grass u need to throat it and choke on it as well #anyway... i see sm toxic femininity everytime i open this app so i just wanted to rant a bit 🫨🫨🫨🫨

[rexscanonwife]

I’ve been a bit depressed lately and I wanted to draw something super soft and self indulgent and...went a little ham with the lighting ngl! but sometimes instead of getting up and going to some mission debriefing you just wanna stay in bed with your lover ♡

#artfarts #self insert art #self insert #self ship #self shipping community #self insert community #self insert x canon #star wars the clone wars #captain rex #💙 oh captain my captain 💙 #i have been...quite sad #i dunno being sick and being isolated has really taken a toll on me #i keep in touch w close friends online ofc but you know #its still hard #especially since ive been alone on christmas and ill still be alone on new years *peace sign* #but drawing this was really comforting!! #ive been dealing w a bit o art block lately too #so im very pleased that it came out pretty nice :'3 #and rex is just my EVERYTHING #he makes everything better seeing him is just the biggest serotonin boost #i just wanna feel his arms wrapped around me and his warmth and run my fingers over his scars and kiss him!!!

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

#i know there are compromises out there #and i'm not going to live w them my whole life so i'll be out fairly soon all things considered #and i'm trying to be understanding when people's priorities aren't the same as mine #but i uh. would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt a little wittle bit. #i'm gonna keep handling it because i've been an asshole to my parents for long enough #i largely owe them that. cooperating and spending time with them and engaging in what matters to them. #but then she's says things like ''but whenever you move out you'll still be part of the family and invited if you want uwu'' #it's just ?????? okay thanks ???? perhaps you could also try seeing things from my point of view perhaps???? #it's all circling back to that. they have a very weird way to ''help'' me #throwback to them trying to cure my depression with amusement parks #when i would have liked a little less of that and a little more help and understanding #it feels like they're trying to put bandaids on a cancer #''you don't ask for help'' okay no help is coming. i am not being helped. #the system can't help me cause there's no damn beds no damn professionals no damn time to help everyone #the people around me can't help me because it's not their job or within their wheelhouse to help me #and they've got their own shit to deal with #on that note #i was discussing stuff with my mom #and i mentionned it was indeed pretty difficult to manage your time when you had to deal with school and friends and your parents #and she was like ''deal with your parents???? what do you have to deal with????'' #oh i don't KNOW maybe that i'm officially an associate of my dad and i have to help out w events and some accounting #or maybe i have to pay back the fucking years i spent being an ungrateful child now i do everything you expect me to and it's exhausting #maybe that you constantly remind me i am living in YOUR house by touching my shit instead of letting me deal with shit at my own pace #maybe the fact that despite everything i care about you and i want us to have a good relationship and that takes WORK and i'm exhausted #maybe the fact that you keep giving me advice that is unproductive misguided misunderstanding etc etc #and cold comfort after you did something you knew to be difficult for me #how you keep encouraging shit that i don't want and am unhappy with because it's the ''normal'' way #how you raised me from childhood to be an empty shell in a family of empty shells #broadcasting my misery #vent

[broh3m3]

“I just want to make sure you ate something.” ( @kainereee made a fic a while ago and I’ve yet to be normal about it )

#shout outs to kaine for making the best worsties content #like if u want a fic on jack and michiko's odd and complicated state of friendship then i highly highly rec #rlly encapsulates everything i enjoy from their potential dynamic #w jack being a favourite (unfortunate) theres topics to him i have trouble touching on w/o feeling sick myself #kaine doesn't pull any punches w her work tho it's golden #and the last bit oh my god the last bit #michiko is utterly wonderful #jack is far gone #they save a spot for the other at their table #im in shambles #scrimbles #idv ramblings

[toytulini]

i may not be able to open posts from my notes or messages or get more context on posts via looking at the notes, but at least i can make fucked up coffee properly now

#toy txt post #while i was away i began my journey into coffee snobbery. im doing my best. i have a lot to learn #i have a fancy hand grinder that all the ppl on reddit hemmedvand hawed andaid it would probably be somewhat #Acceptable for pour over coffee that I got for less than $100. i want you to understand the coffee grinder ppl are insane. #there are grinders for sale that cost like more than my car did brand new. these ppl are insane? i got a chemex pour over #and a glass stovetop gooseneck kettle cos i couldnt find an electric kettle that didnt have the metal touching the water. prolly cos it #would make them less energy efficient and defeat the purpose but i dont fuck w metal water vessels cos historically They Keep Betraying Me #by making my drinks taste like ass. i got some genetic fuckery going on ig. like the cilantro soap gene but its the metal makes water taste #like ass gene? idk. but i wanted a kettle that didnt have metal and i wanted that gooseneck pour so i found one on Amazon. surprisingly #hard to find? annoying. mostly bc every search engine is bad and kept showing me metal kettles anyway. i got a grinder i got a pour over i #got a kettle i got fancy beans from a local small business i started drinking it black. im going to unlock these flavors. i will get it #but also. im still a goblin. i put garlic powder in with the grounds and made garlic coffee. its interesting. it tastes like garlic. and #coffee. but actually the garlic is mostly an aftertaste? #so it feels very similar to drinking a cup of black coffee to accompany your garlic bread actually. the first time i made it i think it #underextracted the coffee tho. second time i extracted the coffee enough but i didnt like it as much? both times. fascinatingly #i did not get strong aromas! which was weird: i find both garlic and coffee have pretty strong scents already #i wouldve thought combining them would make it stronger? it was a little stronger while brewing the second time but smelled good to me #i find the flavor of it compelling enough that id like to try to refine it a bit more and see if i can make it good #ive come a long way since my first garlic coffee haha #(adding garlic salt to black coffee out of a keurig. dont reccomend this: garlic salt has too much salt and it overpowers everything. #could not get a garlic flavor without overpowering salt flavors. so it mostly tasted like seawater with a hint of coffee. garlic powder is #the way to go. anyway next i want to try it with a lighter roast. i was using medium roast #of a local brand that i would name for exposure but wont name lest it doxxes me haha #also want to try egg coffee sometimes? the vietnamese one. looks..intriguing. robusta beans scare me a little tho #anyway. if youre interested in interesting flavors i recc garlic coffee. it was intriguing. if i find a methodology i think tastes best #ill update yall #im also interested in other things. i want to experiment with spicy coffee. chili powder or cayenne #make the paprika dracula coffee haha #im also admittedly intrigued by butter coffee? as a flavor profile tho not for fad diet reasons.

[villainsidestep]

got sad abt fawn’s little motel room again 😞

#gideon shut the hell up challenge #we were thinking abt it in canon but then thought abt it in v3/v3au so. now we have to talk abt those #themmy who gets to be the first to get invited over. it takes a bit to build up to it and then even after they all think they’re ready #it takes another few days to actually Work Up To It. themmy gets first pick bc they’re the least intrusive of the group #the ortegas are close to the group ofc but they are nosy and pushy but this is The Becker’s space. so they get told no when they ask #if they can tag along. (they ofc get approval later after a few times of themmy getting to visit #bc 1. they won’t stop asking but 2. they’re more comfortable w the permitted intrusion that they get a test run) #honestly I feel like one of the ortegas would offhandedly ask Whose room it is (bc they expect them each to have their own) #and the siblings are like no it’s Ours. plural. and then the topic gets dropped bc they’re skittish enough already they won’t push more rn #ohhh the besties giving them little house warming gifts to help spruce the place up but next time they go over it still looks just as plain #except u ask ‘hey what happened to [xyz]?’ and they retrieve it from wherever it’s squirreled away #solo!survivor au…. imagine having to go back to the motel room alone for the first time #you know where the traces of your siblings are hidden. but they aren’t in immediate sight so it feels so Empty. #digging out all of their belongings just to have them closer to you even if it goes against everything you’ve all done this whole time #maybe you don’t stay alone. maybe you invite an ortega over. maybe you invite both. #maybe they show up with a bottle of wine each and none of you say anything bc you don’t know what you even would #maybe they help you pack up everything to move apartments. maybe you don’t let them touch anything. maybe them just being there is enough