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unluckyhoneybee · 2 years

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The Handsome Artist. 8. (Daniel Ricciardo)

Bug eyes. Abi and Danny spend a way more peaceful morning.

MASTERLIST. Moodboard and Playlist.

Previous part: A nice dinner.

Note: Listen to Bug Eyes by Mt. Joy. Pic from here. Obviously this has to be Danny's car in the story because the bi car is iconic.

I opened my eyes at the sound of someone moving only to find Charlotte already dressed on her clothes with her bag hanging from her arm and that white thing on her forehead covering the stitches.

What?.

I was comfortable and warm and I slowly realized how I was cuddling myself inside Dan's jacket. I blushed.

"Good morning, Abi" Charlotte said with a smile. "What are you wearing?"

I lifted an eyebrow.

"Good morning, Charlotte"

"Is that jacket..."

"Yes"

"Oooh. Let's go home so you can tell me everything."

"No, no, no. You sit back there and wait till the doctor comes and..."

She pulled a paper.

"I can leave"

"Oh Charlotte..."

This woman would be the death of me. I got up from the uncomfortable chair and I swear my whole body cracked when I fixed my posture. My cute blue dress was a mess and I should look like shit. But I had Danny's jacket on, which looked huge on me.

"Is it the boy's?"

I nodded.

"He brought you here?"

"We were having dinner when they called"

"Oh shit. Shit, Abi. I'm sorry, honey. Come here"

She gave me a hug. I sighed and hid on her neck.

"Don't scare me like this, Charlotte"

"It won't happen again" She pulled back and cupped my cheeks. "Now, put that hair in a bun, it's a bit messy"

"I wonder why"

We both laughed.

"Do you want me to call a taxi? Arthur's son has started this new..."

"Danny is picking us up."

She looked at me with big eyes.

"Your boy?"

I nodded embarrassed.

"Call him!"

As we left the room I called Danny.

"Hey! Is everything okay? I was waiting for your text"

'Yeah, everything is fine"

"Don't say you are already at home"

"I'm not." I smiled a bit. "We can already leave"

"Perfect. I'll be there soon."

"Don't run. Traffic must be horrible"

"Don't worry. Bye bye"

"Bye"

I hung the called.

"Oh you are so in love"

"I'm not. I barely know him"

We sat outside in a bench and she grabbed my hand.

"But you like him"

I took a deep breath. I couldn't lie to Charlotte.

"I do."

"He likes you."

I shrugged. It was pretty obvious he did.

"He took you here, left his jacket and is on its way to pick you up." He smiled. "I wish I could have found someone like that when I was young"

I chuckled.

"Can I steal yours?" She asked.

"Nop."

We both laughed. I grabbed her arm and laid my head on her shoulder.

"Was he nice yesterday?"

"He took me to his friends' restaurant. And it's full of plants. Really beautiful." I remembered with a smile. Everything about our short dinner was pleasantly craved in my mind. His interest in me, his questions, his hand on mine, his eyes when he talked about his family...

Our little second date had been more than perfect.

"Oh honey..."

She kissed my cheek.

"I don't want it to hurt." I whispered.

"Honey, it will if it has too. But you can't be scared your whole life. It hurt like mad when Robert left. You were too little to remember, but it was awful. I found Gregor, and Carmen then. Only because I didn't fear it. It didn't work with them either. But that's just because it wasn't meant to be. There is someone else out there for me. I know it. Just as there is someone for you. Maybe it's the Handsome Artist or maybe is someone else. But don't fear it. Don't fear love because you have so much to give to the world"

I blinked the tears away and she gently cleaned the one that had fallen.

"I'm so scared"

"I know, I know. But Arnie wouldn't be doing this. It's already a lot."

"You are gonna like him"

She smiled.

"Does he know?"

I shook my head. How could I tell Danny that my ex had messed me so bad that know I was scared of loving him?

We heard a car honking and we both look to the right. I gasped when I saw him climb out of a pink and brilliant car.

"Oh Abi, I already like him"

I chuckled when she got up and walked fast on Danny's direction.

"Charlotte! Slow down! You still have a concussion!"

I got up and followed her.

Daniel was there, he was wearing short shorts and a big oversized T-shirt. He also had a backwards cap and sunglasses. He looked comfy and cute. Cuddly.

"You must be Daniel. You really are as handsome as Molly told me. I can see why..."

"Charlotte!"

"Oh girl... I'm just introducing myself."

Daniel was laughing and slightly blushing. He took his sunglasses of and smiled at me.

"I'm Aunt Charlotte, dear. This one's favorite aunt"

"And the only one" I said.

"Yeah. That too" She laugh. "She always says I give her headaches, but the girl is just a little forest elf and loves silence"

"A little forest elf?" Daniel looked at me with a smile.

"She has been calling me that since I can remember." I walked to them and looked at Charlotte. "This is Danny, Charlotte. The guy who was nice enough to bring me here when you open your head again last night"

She laughed.

"Nice to meet you, Danny. Abigail only talks wonders about you"

"Oooh. She is too nice" Danny touch my hand softly and I blushed.

Oh boy.

Charlotte was the most precious thing I had in my life. She was my aunt, my granny, my mother, my best friend, my shoulder to cry, my mentor. She was everything for me. Letting people in like this was hard. She loved everyone, she was fast with bonds. And I didn't want her to start loving someone only for them to leave later. This wasn't ideal. It wasn't how I would have liked to do it. But that's life. It wasn't going that bad at the end.

"Oh, she left again. She does it often. Has plenty of space in that mind of hers. Her little own world."

I blinked twice.

"I was saying that he has to stay for breakfast. He must. I'm not accepting a no, Daniel."

"Okay, okay"

Yeah, the would be friends soon.

"Let's go. The carriage awaits"

Charlotte walked to the car, loving colorful and bright things.

"Pink car?" I asked Danny.

He smiled and nodded proudly.

"Cool?"

"Meh"

"You hurt me"

I chuckled.

"It's really cool, Danny. Unique. So unique"

"It's a magnet for girls" He said pointing at Charlotte, who was already sat on the front passenger seat.

"Yeah, you already won her" I said smiling.

I tried to walk to the car, but he took my hand.

"Is she okay?"

I nodded.

"Perfect. Another scare"

"And you?" He thread his fingers with mine and touched the neck of my (his) jacket.

I smiled.

"I'm okay. I just feel as if I had slept on a hospital chair."

He chuckled.

"Well... We couldn't finish our date but Charlotte invited me to breakfast so... It's okay for you?"

I took a deep bread and nodded with a smile.

"Of course"

I had to sit on the back, admiring the not so discreet car who was actually the coolest car. Charlotte was speaking nonstop and Daniel was more than happy to listen.

"Yeah, Abigail sometimes get angry. She can be a bit grumpy..."

"I get angry because you shouldn't do all that stuff."

"No fighting in my pink car, girls"

"Listen to you boy, honey. No fighting. I was just picking a pot. It wasn't my fault that it fell on my head."

"A pot fell in your head!"

Danny POV.

It was actually funny. They were polar opposites. Charlotte was energetic, she hadn't stop talking and had a scandalous personality. Abi was calm, quiet and soft. They wore similar clothes. Unmatched, different patterns convined but the older with more brilliant colors while Abi chose more pale ones. It's was as if they were both faces of the same coin.

I could see her sitting in the back of my car each time I looked through the mirror. She had a smile on her face and always had a sarcastic comment for her Aunt's antics.

Charlotte was the one supposed to guide me, but she always forgot to give me directions. Instead, I had Abi softly touching my shoulder and telling me where to turn.

"Right there!" It was the only indication she gave me.

The woman had a concussion and stitches on her forehead but moved as a kid. It was a particular person. She opened the door and then went inside. I looked at Abi as she got out of the car and sighed. My jacket looked big on her, it almost covered her short blue dress. Her hair was in a messy bun. She was so pretty. So fucking pretty.

I followed her and carefully touched her waist. Last night was probably one of the best nights I had spent with someone. Even if it was short. I felt it. I saw how there was something there.

"Difficult?"

"It's hard to raise an adult"

I laughed.

"She can be too much, she doesn't have a filter. So... If something bothers you, please say it. She understands and..."

I cut her with a quick kiss on her cheek. I had already seen her spiraling into anxious thoughts many times.

"It's fine, really." I whispered. Her checks turned pink.

"Okay..."

She guided me upstairs. The place looked exactly how I would have imagined it. Packed with lots of things, random furniture and of course plants. More plants than I could count.

"Welcome home, Danny! Abi makes the best pancakes ever. And I have already set the coffee machine."

How?

"You invited him, why do I have to cook?"

"You win a man's heart by winning his stomach first"

Abi groaned and walked away. Charlotte laughed and I could just giggle. She was cute.

She took my jacket off and carefully hang it on a chair. It was one of my favorite jackets but I was more than willing to give it to her of it meant to watch her wearing it.

"I will cook. But only because you have to rest."

She disappeared in the short corridor.

"That's her room. She still sleeps here sometimes. We have dinner together every week at least 4 times. I can't just let my little girl go that easily. Molly comes often so you are invited too. Her friends are my friends."

"Thank you Charlotte"

I felt more than welcome on the little family.

"Are you a nice guy, right?"

I looked at the woman. She was dead serious for the first time.

"Yes"

"I didn't warned the others. So I feel like I should warn you."

The others...

"Don't hurt her. Don't you dare to hurt my girl because she is too good for this world."

I swallowed. How would I hurt her?

"What did she told you? You are pale"

She was there. She was wearing a huge t-shirt from Willson & Co. Paints and Decorations.

I shook my head. Charlotte caressed my arm and walked to the kitchen.

"If she..."

"Abigail. Stop worrying" I pushed her slightly and she took me to the kitchen.

She was soon cooking her pancakes as Charlotte and I observed her.

Abigail was playing music. Mt Joy. Bug Eyes. Meybe she was thinking we were not paying attention. Or maybe she didn't care. But she was moving her body at the sound of the music and muttering the lyrics softly.

On the day you left I could tell by your text

That you were gonna ruin my life

Cause bug eyes get a good look at the windshield

"It's her favorite song. She adores it. Since the moment it came out. Good mood, bad mood. That's her song" Charlotte whispered.

I looked at Abi and let it sink.

And in that water, dark dark water

Eyes could see no farther than my hands

You said you wanted a plan

May you always look forward

And may all your love be returned

There will be peace

There will be light on you

There will be colors

For you to come home too, yeah

I'm always waiting for you girl

I'm always waiting

So maybe I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait

And maybe I'll wait too long

You were the first but you won't be the last

If I keep traveling on

Always look forward

And may all your love be returned

Hold on tight, I think I might

Have wasted all my time on fear

But if I were, would you be so rude

And tell me what I have to hear?

Let it kill, let it

Alright

But are we

Alright?

Let it kill, let it learn, let it lie

Let it fall out of the corner of your eye

I live out on the range now

But I can't complain

I had everything

Alright

But are we, are we alright?

Let it kill, let it learn, let it lie

Let it fall out of the corner of your eye

To live and die and see the world through someone else's eye

I live out on the range but I can't complain, I had everything

Alright

And then are we, are we alright?

Let it kill, let it learn, let it lie

Let it fall out of the corner of your eye

To live and die and see the world through someone else's eye

I felt heavy, I felt light. I just wanted to get up and hug her, to sway slowly with the music and her. To promise I would always be there. To promise her all the love I had.

But then Charlotte grabbed my arm and pulled me closer.

"She likes you a lot. It has been so long since I've seen her like this. She just need a lot of love back. She needs to be loved and taken care of."

"I can hear you whisper, Charlotte" Abigail muttered without turning.

"So...your friends have a restaurant." Charlotte said changing the subject.

I was even shaking.

"Yes. One of them has also a pub down the beach."

"Oh, that's fantastic. We have to go some time"

I heard Abi's soft laugh and then the sound of the pancake cooking.

"And you are from Australia? Which part? I met a guy from Australia once. The seventies. He was a sufer" She winked at me. "It seems like we have a type"

I laughed.

"Charlotte..."

"What!?"

"Oh jeez." They were so fun together.

"I won't cook pancakes for you"

"The doctor said..."

"The doctor said you should stop picking pits from high selves"

"He did not"

"He did, you were asleep. He even wrote it down. Just check the papers."

I loved this version of her. She was calm. No nerves. No diving deep in thoughts. Just her being all cute and sarcastic.

I'm falling so hard. So so hard.

I was just praying for her to not leave.

"Here. For Danny because he is a good boy and doesn't pick things he should not"

I laughed when she laid the plate in front of me.

"Can I help?"

She looked at me and smiled softly.

"Fill the cups with coffee. Charlotte likes hers with not much milk. But I love it with..."

"Lots of milk." I didn't even knew the first time. It had just been a coincidence but she had loved it.

She nodded and smiled.

"Exactly. Two spoons of sugar for both of us. And just get for yourself what you like most"

I nodded.

"You are cute guys"

Abigail looked down and blushed. I just wanted to hug her and gave her a thousand kisses.

"Does you family live here?" Charlotte asked once we were having breakfast. The woman was sitting next to me and Abigail in front of me.

Somehow I felt this all was real. I felt as if we were a thing. As if this was something we did usually. I wanted all of this.

"No. They live in Perth. They are visiting soon"

"Oh! That's so nice" Charlotte exclaimed. "And you are a tattoo artist? I always wanted to get one"

Abigail gasped.

"Did you?"

"Yes"

"Abi knows where to find me so..."

"Oh fantastic!"

Abigail smiled.

They were awesome.

"When this one here showed me shw would get one I couldn't believe it at first. She has like a thousand earrings right?"

I nodded. Her ears were full of little silver rings and each time I had seen her she had worn some different on the lobe.

"She cried."

I gasped. Abigail was covering her face.

"She was sixteen when she got the first one. That one" She pointed her tragus piercing. "I went with her because I was the responsible adult. She cried, Daniel!"

"Well, she behaved so well when I tattooed her. It hurts right?"

Abigail nodded. She was blushing.

"So bad"

"She was brave"

She looked down her breakfast and drank from the mug.

Beautiful, beautiful girl.

"Not even a single tear?"

"Nope. All strong and brave. One of the strongest"

"Oh stop..."

"She is shy, Danny." Charlotte elbowed me.

"Charlotte..."

I reached my hand and pinched her warm cheek, making her blush even more.

"Are tattoos as addictive as they say?" Charlotte asked.

I pushed my chair back and showed then my thigh.

"I started only with the front one, and now look at this"

"Oh! What a beautiful thing!"

I looked at Abi. She was looking at my leg, biting her lip and with rossy cheeks.

That's good, right?

"I like the flower" She said.

The flower was almost on my knee.

"Yeah?"

She nodded with a tiny smile.

"Do you want more?" Charlotte said turning to Abi.

She looked at me as I sat.

"I don't know. I haven't thought much about it."

"You should get a flower too. You love flowers" Charlotte insisted.

Abi laughed and shook her head.

"Which flower"

I lift my eyebrows.

"Um... Almond."

Abi bit her lip.

"Why almonds?"

"You mum liked them a lot"

Abi's face changed for a second, then she tried to hide it.

I stayed still, not moving and waiting for an answer. Then she looked at me.

"Could you?"

I nodded.

The door bell interrupted us and Abi was fast to go and open. Charlotte looked at me again.

I was ready for another warning or deep advice about her niece.

"How do you find her?"

"Like... As a person?"

She nodded.

"Unique. I think. Different from others I met"

She smiled.

"That's how I raised her. She makes an impact, doesn't she?"

I nodded. The girl was stuck in my mind since moment one.

"What do you like about her?"

I swallowed. Difficult question.

"We could be done sooner if you asked what I don't like about her"

"Tell me then"

I felt my whole body go cold. Was there something?

"She sometimes seems to be scared of me."

"Oh honey, that's not her fault. Just show her she should not"

And whose fault is it? What the fuck did the others did to her?

"Where is my favorite aunt!?"

Molly appeared through the door, followed by Abigail, who was fast to get some pancakes for her friend too.

Molly kissed Charlotte's cheek and then looked at me.

"And how are you?"

"Good, I'm good."

Abigail turned to me and gave me a weird look.

Then Molly started asking questions to Charlotte and I got up.

"Hey..." I whispered.

"What did she said?"

"No-"

"I don't buy it"

"She warned me."

"Fuck..."

"Then she asked me what I like about you"

She looked up.

"Sorry, she is so intense. So is Molly. I don't know how I keep up with them"

I smiled.

"Maybe it was a training for when I met you" She whispered and then bit her lip. She closed her eyes and let her head fall. No filter Abi was back.

"Is it good?"

She nodded.

"It's good. I can manage intense people well. You have lots of energy, which I don't so... Yeah. I'm ready."

That's good, right? It means she is good with me.

"Just don't try to lower yourself because of me. My therapist says it is horrible to change yourself for someone else. I'm not doing it now. I'm showing the real Abi, so show the real Daniel because I don't want surprises later."

"Fine, yes. I will. I promise."

I looked at the two woman sitting on the table. They were looking, probably hearing. Abi was so comfortable around them that she had talked about something like this in front of them.

Molly winked at me and I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"What has she done?"

"She notice everything Danny. She may be quiet, but she is like a little spy."

"A little forest elf"

"I hate you all and I won't pancakes for any of you ever again"

We all laughed.

I felt at home with them. They were a little family. They loved and appreciated each other. They breathe so much love and it made me happy.

But it left me with so much to think about. With so many memories and stuff going around my head. So many doubts.

I find this a kind of messy chapter. I just wanted to write something domestic and show more how Abigail is. I think I did it write.

Next part: The Ricciardos.

#daniel ricciardo #Dr #The handsome artist #Tattoo artist! Au #Fic #F1

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bidotorg · 2 months

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It’s time for the #Oscars…and it’s looking mighty bi this year!

Poor Things

"Poor Things", an enthralling work by Alasdair Gray, intricately navigates the narrative of Bella Baxter, a woman brought back to life through the scientific prowess of Dr. Archibald McCandless. Set amidst Victorian Scotland, this mesmerizing tale interlaces themes of love, identity, and societal norms with a hint of magical realism, and Bella is not afraid to be bi.

"Poor Things" serves as a thought-provoking exploration of human sexuality and the blurred lines of scientific morality.

Barbie

In a groundbreaking move, the Barbie film emerges as a beacon of inclusivity and representation in cinema. ¿Mattel's bold decision to introduce Barbie's new girlfriend in 2021, made Barbie a bi icon. With its enchanting storyline, the film seamlessly integrates Barbie's identity, showcasing her journey of self-discovery and acceptance. As a trailblazing symbol of empowerment and authenticity,“Barbie”captivates audiences of all ages, leaving an indelible mark on the landscape of contemporary cinema.

Maestro

"Maestro" orchestrates a symphony of cinematic brilliance, captivating audiences with its poignant portrayal of the legendary composer Leonard Bernstein. The movie accomplishes a stirring representation of bisexuality, as the film fearlessly delves into Bernstein's complex personal life and relationships. With unflinching honesty, "Maestro" not only pays homage to Bernstein's musical legacy but also shines a spotlight on bi visibility, fostering a profound dialogue on love, passion, and the human experience.

Anatomy of a Fall

"Anatomy of a Fall" intricately weaves a tale of love and self-discovery, delving into the depths of human emotion and identity. Set against the backdrop of modern society, the film follows the journey of the messy but relatable bi Sandra Voyter, a writer trying to prove her innocence in her husband's death. A cinematic gem that leaves a lasting impression, "Anatomy of a Fall" is a testament to the power of storytelling in illuminating the human condition.

Billie Eilish

Billie Eilish's contribution to the “Barbie” soundtrack is a refreshing and empowering anthem that showcases her incredible talent and creativity. In the wake of her recent coming out as bi, Eilish continues to break boundaries and inspire fans with her unapologetic authenticity and raw emotion in her music. Her powerful voice and introspective lyrics make her a true trailblazer in the industry, and the existential ballad “What Was I Made For?”, is breathtaking and beautiful.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3

“Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” takes audiences on another thrilling cosmic adventure. As the Guardians face new challenges and enemies, their bond is tested like never before, making this latest installment a must-see for both longtime fans and newcomers to the franchise. Those familiar with the comics will recall that our dear Starlord is canonically bi.

#oscars 2024 #academy awards #bi #queer #poor things #barbie #barbie movie #maestro #anatomy of a fall #billi Eilish #bi pride #bi visibility #guardians of the galaxy vol 3

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iveofficiallygonemad · 1 year

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What about that gay little musician (Klavier I think is his name) from AA for the character asks!!

Jdoxowkxixjs I love the way u phrased this SO much!!!!

Yes his name is klavier which means piano in German which he 100% knew when he picked it out! He is canonly gnc af and dresses in the nonbinary colors. Klavier is a they/he in my heart although I have a seen transfem klavier which I also love and adore.

Sexuality hc: Klavier is a bi icon, could u see him wearing heart shaped glasses? Yes

Also he's ace! And canonly wears an ace ring!

[ID: A fullbody of Klavier stands in the center of the screen, hands on his hips. He has long blonde hair in a twist, a purple blazer, and a black button down and pants. On his left is the ace flag (back, grey, white, purple) and on his right the nonbinary flag (yellow, white, purple, black). Both of these are colorpicked off of him. On the bottom left is a image of Klavier pointing to the right with a ringed hand. On the right is a closeup of him pushing up his shades with the middle finger, which has a silver ring on it. End ID]

Ship: THEE klavier ship is klapollo, listen they are SO!!!

NOTP: not really applicable cuz klapollo is so prevalent? I'm open to other ships w him in it (assuming characters r close in age). I guess maybe him and ema (bcuz I think they'd only work if in a poly w polly) and tbh I think they’d be more fun as worsties

Random hc: I love klavier sm I feel like ive seen every post abt him and don’t have any original thoughts that haven’t been said before but, I hc him as having OCD. This is mostly just based off of our interactions with him during Guitar's Serenade.

Also, I’m aware this is an unpopular opinion but I don’t think he had a crush on Apollo when he first met him! Like I do find that trope fun and silly, but looking at his character Klavier would never fall for someone at first sight, and definitely not someone he’s as suspicious about as Apollo [he accused his brother of Murder]. Klavier is SO So meticulous and need to have all the facts figured out beforehand. I truly believe he needs something to be loud and messy and BAD at to vent with because he tries SO hard to keep everything under wraps at all times. Get the man a buncha brightly colored paints he can go ham w!!! Let him blast music in his lonely studio apartment and head bang and belt songs and dance badly where no one can see!!! Let him learn to take up space authentically in his own damn house!!

General opinion overall: He is SO charismatic and blorbo-able! He seems carefree but is Not in any sense of the word. He makes you think he wears his heart on his sleeve but it is hidden under SO many layers, getting him to trust you is going to be SO much work. He puts EVERYTHING he’s got into his passions and by god he’s gotta make sure he’s got everything Just Right. He’s such a layered character and its hard to pick out his thoughts, also they created a character who is just SO interesting when you pair him with literally any character. Like he and apollo are such opposites how would they function together? What the hell was the Gavin brother’s relationship Actually like? I think abt this all the time. Also like, him and Wright actually became more similar characters due to his disbarment, but also That past affects his relationship with Ema too! Also how the hell did he cope (did he cope???) with the personal betrayals he suffered in AJ?? Also what’s his relationship with the other prosecutors in the office???? Does he have offscreen friends or did he really lose everyone? I am unable to be succinct over Klavier but it boils down to:

He has the range! He acts silly and carefree but is so NOT! Which gives you so much to explore

Also tagging @kingdomofbrokenhearts bcuz u also sent in an ask abt him, and @sailormaya bcuz they are the CEO of Klavier Gavin and know all the facts. Also if you wanna read a klapolli fic where klav Doesn’t fall in love at first sight and has The biggest bi panic, highly recommend: this fic!

#also still figuring out if i think hes aro #yes wearing heart shaped glassses IS a bi thing now thanks to u viv #also screenshot is from my 45min rant abt why all the aa characters are trans #other hc he def has a lucky guitarpick and uses diff pics depending on if he wants to do something high dexterity/a fancy riff vs #if its for fun vs if hes currentlyWorking on the song #asks #klavier gavin #aa #also the gnc bit is canon bcuz when polly goes backstage he notices lipstick marks on the mirror

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pace02termansen · 2 years

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Pay close consideration to the colours in printed types. I've gone on to put on that factor all over the place, from New York Fashion Week, with elaborate, eye-catching outfits, to brunch with associates, the place it helps amp up a easy jeans and T-shirt combo. I've stuffed it with cardigans and water bottles before heading to the office, and slipped my make-up bag and a change of sneakers in there for weddings. Partially because of the neutral colour and somewhat simple design, I've found it appears just as great with a elaborate robe as it does with a matching sweatsuit . It's turn into the bag I attain for whenever I'm in a pinch and haven't any clue what to wear. Indulge in a really feel of luxurious with this Prada continental pockets in mild blue. This stylish piece is manufactured from high-quality leather and contains a turn lock on the front flap. This elegant tote comes from the enduring home of Prada. Soon the durable, waterproof material was incorporated into Prada’s ready-to-wear collections for each women and men. There’s no all-rounder that quite rivals the shoulder bag. Small but sensible, but greater than able to making a statement, it’s excellent for everything from work and play to travel. The quiltedDiagrammebag is a forever-favorite, however for 2021 we’re eyeing the wine purple version. We additionally can’t get enough of theOdettebag in sizzling pink, which can add a vibrant contact to any look. Loved for its traditional attraction and practical design, the Galleria is one of the well-liked luggage from the house of Prada. An effective hunt for the perfect classic piece could reveal such finds as an ultra-simple tote executed in a shiny metallic, or a streamlined crossbody crafted from fluorescent nylon. Founded in 1913 by Mario Prada, Prada — originally named Fratelli Prada — began in Milan with a set of trunks, beauty cases and leather-based baggage. In 1978, Miuccia Prada assumed the head position of the Prada model and in 1985 put Prada purses on the radar of the fashion industry along with her collection of minimal black nylon handbags. From traditional tote baggage to mini satchels, there is a Prada purse for each girl and occasion. The House of Savoy coat of arms and knotted rope on Prada’s seal herald that the enduring Italian luxurious style home was named Official Supplier to the Italian Royal Household in 1919.

#fake prada bag #prada fake #fake prada #fake prada purse #fake prada wallet

0 notes

ecoamerica · 2 months

Text

youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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bisluthq · 3 years

Note

to new bislut:

- don't take anything seriously (eg like that last anon and drag nat for shipping hoe and garwyn when its a literal joke)

- baldie chunks is levi joseph kushner. our one job as a blog is to defend his honor from the kays

- johnny boy is charlie kushner, jared's dad. he's a raging bi disaster who's a pos idk what goes on in his head

- seryl is jared's mom. shes an icon who sent johnny boy's ass to jail to protect her brother lmaoooo

- javanka are gay supervillains

- joshlie are literally the most basic, boring, hettiest couple in existence. idk how they got roped into a gay konspiracy

- joseph matthew alwyn is our LEGEND, ICON, KING. we all wish we could be mr quintessential panty dropper

- nobody's perfect. we all make mistakes, including our faves, so no cupcakeing for them

- no hetlor truthering. taylor dgaf about people speculating about her sexuality

- no shipping with tay with her friends. this includes karlie and ed

- haylor is annoying and awful

- the superior ships are gyllenswift and tayvin, bc while they were toxic messes, they taught taylor loads (see: daylight) and were super chaotic and messy, which we love in this blog

- cole sprouse sucks

- don't mention chris evans

- tutors are tits

- nat used to be a (realistic) kaylor. she also finds ivanka hot and thinks wildest dreams is bad. she is very dragable

- an anon once said she got wet by looking at her friends house so that should cement the vibe of this blog for you

Obsessed with this ask.

#nat talks bisluthq

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cheseyre · 4 years

Text

good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:

*deep inhale*

Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-

Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:

I don't ship Prinxiety.

Like, at all.

I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?

Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).

Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!

I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅

However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god

alsoooo

pURPLE EYESHADOW

PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?

alsoooo

hAPPY ROMAN

YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL

ITS BEEN SO LONG

AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-

IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA

THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY

Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.

👀

And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP. I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨

we sTAN TRASHMAS

Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?

hmmm

👀 👀

Okay, okay.

With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~

He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle.

Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!

*evil snek laugh*

Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-

Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂

God, first Patton in a skirt and now this.

Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?

What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-

And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.

👀

Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man.

Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls

...and fries.

Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh

Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.

Just...

Crying Stall Guy

Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious

Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon.

There is no in between

sorry I don't make the rules

Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂

Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico

Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo

😅

And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!

Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh

*clears throat*

Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house

He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy

and YESS, he's a WRITER

And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??

my hEART

*cries*

The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter

*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-

*clears throat*

On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I

Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"

God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan

Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.

Wait.

Oh god.

This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?

Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.

That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-

Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK

I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-

Okay.

New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video.

Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader.

The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals

despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves

No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT

*inhales*

noww

guys, gals, and nonbinary pals

it’s time forr

the most wonderful time of the yearrr

WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN

Who will win? Who will lose?

here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-

Place your bets, folks! ✨

Haha im not readyyy~

tl;dr

this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.

psst hey @quarantinevibes2020 you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine

Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤

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multiedits · 4 years

Note

Hey! Love your work a lot!! I was wondering if we could see the list of what you have to do? And I hope you have a nice day/night.

I'm Glad You Like Our Things!

List:

— G-Man (Half-Life) messy type icons

— Saw (Battle for Dream Island) trans icons

— Ivlis (The Gray Garden) dereality Moodboard

— Reginald Copperbottom (Henry Stickmin) Bi and Trans icons

— Reginald Copperbottom (Henry Stickmin) GIF icons

— Reginald Copperbottom (Henry Stickmin) pride flag

— Flower (Vocaloid) Moodboard with Polymer Clay Foods, Desserts-themed slimes, Sweets, Drinks with pinks, browns, black, whites colors

— Vaporwave Moodboard

— Amity Blight (The Owl House) icons

— Luz Noceda x Amity Blight (The Owl House) Wallpapers with themes of with, academia, gothic, trans

— Bee (Minecraft) Softcore wallpapers

— Shadow Joker (Kaitou Joker) Scenecore Moodboard

— Ava x Asch x Rhys x Leif x Pierce x Noi (Aphmaus my Inner Demons) wallpapers with Poly Relationships Theme

— Yuno Gasai (Future Diary) Insta Board with themes of mental health recovery and lovecore

— Akira Kurusu and Goro Akechi (Persona) lovecore icons

— Leo x Phe x Zero (Meteora Valley) nature and farm themed Moodboard

— Mordecai (Regular Show) Moodboard with themes of Summertime and Being Close to Rigby

— Korekiyo Shinguji (Danganronpa) wallpapers with themes of Chains and Roses with dark red and dark green colors

— Miami Morty (Rick and Morty) Stimboard

— Aang (Avatar) pride flag

— Zim and Almighty Tallest (Invader Zim) space themed wallpapers

— Mara and Adora (She-Ra and the Princess of Power) icons

— G-Man (Half-Life) space and glitchcore themed wallpapers

— Higgs Monaghan (Death Stranding) black glowcore icons

— Ruby and Louise (Max and Ruby) Moodboard with themes of Ruby that is in love with Louise, but Louise doesn't notice it and with school and lesbian flag

— Scarecrow (DC) Vaporwave Wallpapers

— Viney (The Owl House) icons with pink shade and lesbian flag

— Squigly (Skullgirls) Moodboard

— Katsuki Bakugo x Uraraka Ochako (Boku no Hero Academia) wallpapers

— Peacock (Skullgirls) Moodboard with themes of Anarchy and 50s cartoons

— Raymond (Animal Crossing) Icons

— Bee (Minecraft) Honeygender Instagram board

— Sam Gladiator (Yandere High School) insta Board with themes of trouble kid and white and yellow colors

— Duncney (Total Drama) Instagram board

— ᴍᴏᴅ ɢɪʀ 🤖💚

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mydefenseihavenone · 5 years

Text

OK I’M FINALLY READY

Here’s a thread about taylor’s HEAVY use of circles this era and how much she highlighted them in the YNTCD music video. I by no means think that I’ve got something brilliant sorted out, but maybe this helps someone else come up with a really brilliant theory. Let’s get started.

I hope these first four are pretty obvious / self-explanatiory. Lots of circles everywhere. Lots of spinning. The pool circles are literally the thumbnail of the video. Circles are IMPORTANT

also!! look at the little circular curls she made with rollers at the beginning! she keeps a look similar to this for most of the video!!!

After that, we see this:

and these:

(I’ll note here that a LOT of these are bicycles. I won’t make the Bi joke, but I will say there’s something about bicycles in taylor’s music videos that always seems liberating for her.)

(I’ll also note that, in terms of image motifs, I’m already planning posts for the use of butterflies and flowers in this video, but that’s for a separate post.)

Pretty obvious circle(s) in the above image, but the target/bullseye shot is really interesting to note. Especially since...

Don’t drag me; I KNOW hoops are common! But nothing is ever coincidental with Miss Swift, so I figured I’d add this in anyway. (HAYLEY FOR TOUR OPENER, PLEASE)

ALSO!!!!!

not only are the protesters in a circle, but they move in a circle (like the wheels of a bicycle, or a blender, or the camera shot at the pool, or the camera shots below)

phew she really popped off with these (i left the booty drop just for viewing pleasure, not because it’s relevant lmao)

and not to be dramatic but this is a 13 inside a circle. maybe a track having to do with this (and i promise I’ll get to theories and interpretations soon) is track 13? (*insert another dramatic sentence about how i’m gonna get a post together about the stars!!! once we have more info to go off on for analyzing them and why she’s been placing them everywhere*)

NOW!!! UMBRELLAS!!!!

I also think, to run with the bicycle idea, that I love that these are mobile homes!!! I love that in connection with queerness, because I think we’re often happiest with found families rather than our biological ones. Being able to redefine “home”?? super important to me and other queer people I know, and I’m hoping that was one of taylor’s intentions with this setting.

and AHHH!! another one of my favorite things is how many umbrellas (also circular, usually) there are!! why the fuck does that matter, paola?? you might ask. HERE’S WHY: there have been SO MANY umbrellas present this era.

(this reminds me that I have a theory about at least one song or one moment on tour that’s about messiness, considering both ME! and YNTCD end messily - ME! with the rain paint and YNTCD with the food fight, BUT, again, that’s for another post)

there’s a joke in here about eating cake but y’all aren’t ready for it lmaooooo

this is another one that convinces me this is purposeful. who makes a little circular sign like that?? like, genuinely?

okay this next one’s a stretch, but bare with me

why this outfit? all of these are iconic looks, and she definitely looked fantastic that night, but obviously this outfit holds significance. she even posted three different instagram photos of this outfit (and ok, maybe she just liked it. i’m checking all my bases!!!)

heart filter and butterfly shoes... other recurring images this era. I’m arguing that she chose this outfit because the sequins make this outfit, essentially, just a bunch of circles. below is another closeup of sequins that she posted on insta:

(at this point i’m even revisiting whether or not the shape of the buttons themselves - below - were a clue in themselves) (even the fact that she made COOKIES, beautiful round COOKIES with katy!!! is this a huge stretch?? probably!! do i care??? NO)

PLUS, this little cutie is spinning around in this scene--it’s some of the only detectable movement in that moment

and, of course, there’s the iconic spinning crown. there’s one perfect frame of it as a perfect circle before the scene changes.

once i picked up on all of this, I knew I had to check out ME! - and here’s what I found!

iconic circles in the dance! over the words “like a rainbow with all of the colors, babydoll when it comes to a lover” nonetheless!!

and then HMMM!!! A RING!!!!!

(and the introduction of benjamin button; the fictional character he’s named after doesn’t have a proper timeline to his life - he ages backward. a real example of a reversal of the circle of life)

and finally, some subtle details, like when taylor gets spun around in a complete 180,

the rings of light coming in an out,

and the ripples on the ground as taylor and brandon since the bridge (one of the more significant clues for me, though I’m not sure why - just a gut instinct)

so what do I think it means? i’m not sure, though i’ve been speculating all day.

There’s something about the fact that most of the circles are spinning circles that makes me think there’s a single coming up about a cycle or wheel or ripple or ring or echo, but I don’t feel like we have enough (despite all this) to say what, concretely, it might be. I just knew I had to get all of this down, or I was gonna go crazy with it bottled up in my head.

Katy has a song called Circle the Drain, so it might connect to that. I think there’s value to the circle of life connection, since she posted so much about her childhood a few months back. Or, considering how often these are circles around her or others, it could be about inner circles and real friendship? (esp with the katy reconciliation and their likely collaboration coming soon + the fact that they dance around in little circles together in YNTCD:)

Though it’s unlikely, I kind of want it to connect to her Dany button and the idea of breaking the wheel. With the crown tossed into the air and the buried tires, I think it could be a cool commentary on the lack of necessity to constantly be cycling pop girls and who gets to be “on top,” especially if that’s the katy collab!

but yea!! that’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. I worked really hard on this so if it flops i’ll probably cry, haha, but i genuinely want to know: does this seem absolutely wack??? or do you think there’s some credence to it?? have you noticed anything I missed???

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judesowndaughter · 4 years

Text

Roleplaying Profile Meme

PLEASE REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG! Feel free to add to any of your answers! The purpose is to tell your partners about the way you write! For the multiple-choice ones, BOLD all that apply and, if you want, italicize if it’s a conditional answer!

– B A S I C S –

NAME : Les

ARE YOU OVER 18? Yes / No

IS YOUR MUSE? Yes / No

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG? No (anyone) /Semi / Yes / Highly / Private

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU FOLLOW ON THIS BLOG? No (anyone) / Semi / Yes / Highly

IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH TO YOU ADHERE TO CANON? Not at all / A little / Somewhat / Mostly / Strictly / (OC) (I like to adhere to specific bits of canon with regards to the basic outline of Kate’s backstory, and her personality, but other than that? Kate is very headcanon-heavy. So it goes for minor characters.)

WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE? One Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella (My words usually get ahead of me lmao.)

DO YOU USE ICONS AND/OR GIFS? No / Gifs / Icons / Gifcons (I oftentimes go iconless.)

DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS? No / Yes (-ish. Discord and Wire, yes. Nowhere else, though.)

WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE? Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics (It’s highly variable, and while I am capable of improvising, I do prefer to plot stuff out.)

HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS? Very Slow / Slow (4-6 Weeks) / Average (1-4 Weeks) / Fast (Less Than One Week) / Very Fast (Less Than One Day) (Largely dependent on my energy levels and schedule. The situation varies........so much.)

WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add!) Fluff / Angst / Smut / Action / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / Conversational / Hurt-Comfort / Dark / Violence (No preference, really! Less focused on action, though, because Kate just isn’t very...action-y? Smut is also very rare for both personal and in-character reasons.)

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add!) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romance / Drama / Action / Adventure / Espionage / Everything

ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? No / Yes (I have a list of things that I absolutely will not write, as described in my rules page. Although I do not shy away from heavy topics, I would prefer to discuss replies/threads beforehand if they cover certain themes. I want to ensure that I write heavy/sensitive subjects with care.)

DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT TAGGED? No / Yes (I have at least one trigger, but the latter is so incredibly hyper-specific that I have yet to see it discussed/broached in public or private. So...yes? But I don’t need anything tagged.)

– S H I P P I N G –

WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / Physical / Sexual (I am always a sucker for brotps and friendships...LOVE writing platonic bonding)

WHAT TYPES OF PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / Physical / Sexual (All of them...?)

DO YOU HAVE OTPS? No / Chemistry only / Yes (Discussing a ship is generally a must.)

DO YOU HAVE NOTPS? No / Yes / I don’t know yet (Obvious NOTPs are ships featuring Kate with much older adults and any of her teachers---especially Jefferson---but also my specific interpretation of Kate with any men, as I headcanon that she is a lesbian. Please note that this is not to ship-shame anyone who headcanons Kate as bi, pan, or straight. This solely applies to my version of the character.)

WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATION? -

Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Pansexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Questioning

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT? No / Selectively (ships only) / Yes (Smut with Kate takes...a lot. She has body image issues, internalized homophobia, and a whole lot of trauma. Suffice to say that one-night stands just aren’t a thing for her, nor will they ever be. If we do write smut, I prefer that our characters are in a ship and have been in a relationship for some time.)

HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY? Autoship / During Plotting / After A Couple IC Interactions / Several IC Interactions / Slow Burn / Depends on partner & muse

ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS? No / Selectively (platonic-only) / Yes (I know I put her through the wringer, but I just want Kate to be happy, man. Toxic romantic ships are just too much. Platonic / Friendship / Familial is a whole ‘nother ballgame, though. I will say that if we do pursue a toxic ship, there absolutely needs to be discussion beforehand.)

ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? (canon history, age difference, complicated, etc.) No / Selectively / Yes (Not down with age difference, but complex reasons and/or canon history are perfectly valid options when it comes to exploring problematic ships. Case in point: I am willing to write C.hasemarsh---and all of the messy context/history included---but only if the person and I plot it out together.)

ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING? No / Selectively / Yes (Personally, no. Muse-wise, Kate is mono, so she is not interested in a polyship.)

ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER? No / Sometimes / Yes

DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? No / Sometimes / Yes

DOES CROSSOVER SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? No / Yes / Depends (Kate has a lot of AUs, so it’s bound to happen. I have at least one crossover ship right now, actually: Lane’s Ash from UD with my UD!AU Kate. I am also going to take a moment to shamelessly plug @odawns. Please love Lane and her wonderful A.shley Brown. She is so good.)

—–

tagged by: @pulitzerpanther tagging: whomst’ve’ever wants to do it---come get y’all profile memes!

#[[ i've been waiting to use that dabbing icon forever ]]#;;out of chai #;;confessional

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godofsmallthings · 5 years

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Tagged by @anybodylessgayso :)

• Nickname(s): Vi, Malvi, Melvin

• Gender: woman! but like everything is a construct so who even knows!

• Height: 5'3"

• Time: 4:20 PM est lol

• Where I'm from: I was born in Baltimore, spring of 2002...

• Hogwarts house: ravenpuff!

• Favorite show: ooh so many...crazy ex girlfriend, avatar: the last airbender, legend of korra, broadchurch, one day at a time

• Favorite animal: cats, lizards, snakes, giraffes

• Favorite band/artist: Maggie Rogers, Lorde, Joni Mitchell, Taylor Swift (duh, but honestly I don't listen to most of her music that much anymore...but when I do it feels like I'm coming home), Harry Styles, all the songs from Crazy Ex Girlfriend (but especially season 3), dodie, Tessa Violet, Fleetwood Mac, Lizzo, Janelle Monae, Troye Sivan, Bleachers, probably more that I'm forgetting

• Song stuck in your head: Truth Hurts by Lizzo

• Last movie I saw: Booksmart with my aunt (who I just learned is bi so that's fun)

• Last thing I googled: "taylor swift songs not owned by big machine" (do they own her spotify singles? pls let me know if u know)

• Other blogs: I have tons of urls saved but the only one I use is @kaylorbookclub

• Do I get asks: sometimes!

• Why this URL: there was a whole thing where someone wrote "it's all part of the fucking story" on a tablecloth (search that into my blog for a better explanation of that night) and I really like the phrase because it reminds me to always question and look beyond the public narrative

• Number of blankets: just one :)

• Followers: 1243

• Following: 595

• Average amount of sleep: now that it's summer it's around 8!

• Lucky number: 3, 7, 13 (I honestly don't really believe in lucky numbers but I just like these lol...also the 13 thing preceded the taylor swift thing...I just always felt bad that people thought it was unlucky as a kid so I chose it as my favorite number so it wouldn't feel left out lol)

• What am I wearing: yellow shirt with blue and pink stripes, black athletic shorts, black and pink checked socks

• Dream job: songwriter/producer...

• Dream trips: Iceland! Alaska! Ireland! Spain! The Netherlands!

• Favorite food: tacos, sea salt caramel ice cream, baked mac and cheese, sweet potato fries, avocado, peanut butter cookies

• Instruments I play: guitar, ukulele, a little bit of piano, I used to play violin but I haven't practiced in years and I've basically lost it all, I know like 5 chords on the banjo

• Eye color: brown

• Hair color: brown

• Aesthetic: rainbows, sunshine on smiling faces, playing guitar on your bedroom floor, messy handwriting, old books, the way light looks at the bottom of a pool, clear starry nights, bright yellows, natural greens, light blues, white button down shirts, lavender, violets, sunflowers, roadtrip playlists, ocean waves, cowboy boots

• Languages I speak: English, some Spanish

• Most iconic song: Rhiannon by Fleetwood mac, Ojala by Silvio Rodriguez, All Too Well by Taylor Swift, The Climb by Miley Cyrus, Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell, Liability by Lorde

• When I created this account: I think 2014? It was a harry potter/nerdfighters/tfios account then lol

• Best memory: seeing Lorde in April 2018, crying and sharing our feelings with my synchro team in the hotel room on the last day of junior olympics last year, the moment when I wrote my first song on guitar and it felt like something clicked in a really cool way, the first time I performed in front of people, dancing with @erlizatz at alt prom

• Best pun: I've hat it!

• Random fact: jenna marbles follows me on twitter and to this day I have no idea why...that's literally the only reason why I haven't deleted my account

I tag: @ellaenchanted2004 @imfeelingjustfine @kirstyn-loftus @irely--rose @theprologues @jumpthensfall @raleighcat17 @erlizatz @likethecoloursofautumn @holdin-my-breath @terri9274 @helplessgay @maxer-blaster

#tagged #personal

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hymnsofheresy · 5 years

Note

Why would you leave the UCC for the Catholic Church? (Asked the queer adult convert to Catholicism.) Lord knows the Church needs passionate, articulate bi/lesbian organists, but the Church does not necessarily love them. God bless.

When my parents first came to our UCC church, homophobia was rampant. While the pastor never preached against it… homosexuality was considered to be a sin by many (if not most) in the congregation. The LGBT people who did attend were in the closet. Our choir director was chased out of the church mere weeks after she was outed as a lesbian.

My parents were advocates for LGBT acceptance in our church and were one of the major forces of making our UCC church “Open and Affirming.” It was an messy growth for our UCC church. My family made many enemies and were faced with several fights and threats. People that were once my friends… suddenly weren’t because my parents were “advocating for sin.” It took two whole years to make the church officially LGBT accepting. I was eight years old when it all ended.

Behind every “Open and Affirming” UCC church lies a history of struggle… and it frustrates me when UCC people ignore this struggle. UCC people tend to pretend that we were always ~loving~ towards those who are LGBT… when in fact most of our churches weren’t. It frustrates me that the members of the UCC church forget how people like my parents fought tooth and nail for LGBT acceptance.

I am incredibly proud of my parents. They had such strength to fight for LGBT people. I am so incredibly grateful that I never had to hide my true self from my family or my church when I eventually came out of the closet. Seeing my parents’ strength gives me courage to fight my own battles against homophobia… especially in a Christian context.

There are completely legitimate reasons that my father and mother didn’t raise me in the Catholic church. Because of it’s messy history of abuse. Because of its guilt-ridden theology. Because of the intolerance. And a part of me is thankful that they kept me away from these aspects of the Catholic Church.

As for my reasons for considering conversion to the Catholic Church:

Most of my extended family is (or was) Catholic; I was raised in a culturally Catholic household. We would light candles, our house was decked with icons and Saint Francis prayers, my mother would give me Saint Medals. My family would make pilgrimages to different Catholic churches and cathedrals. When I expressed how much these practices and experiences meant to me at church, I would be dismissed by my fellow church goers as being superstitious, materialistic, pretentious, and (if they were particularly rude) idolatrous. I want to go to a church where my upbringing isn’t scorned.

The vast majority of protestant churches are getting rid of their traditional service. I have to go to a traditional service… that’s completely non-negotiable. I have way too much trauma from megachurches to handle more than ten minutes in a contemporary service before breaking out into a panic attack. That is why I have been attending Catholic, Orthodox, and Episcopal churches as of late.

I want eat the physical Body and Blood of Christ; I want to experience the Eucharist in its entirety. I want to go to a church that can face the reality of Jesus’ oppression and death. I want to go to a church where I can truly know of Jesus dying on the cross. I want to go to a church where the suffering of Jesus of Nazareth and all of humankind isn’t ignored.

I really want to make it clear that nothing has been decided. I am still wrestling with the idea of conversion. There are many things about the Catholic church that make me uneasy. It would take forever to list them all. But a part of me is grateful to know I am not considering a church with the illusion that it is perfect.

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imnotinclinedtomaturity · 6 years

Text

Love Yourself (Chapter 27)

title: Love Yourself summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut. Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that’s he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista. chapter words: 8.8k story words: 219.6k (so far) chapter: 27/? rating: m warnings: language, alcohol, sex mentions, some bi/homophobia, eventual explicit smut, some depression genre: singer!dan, coffee shop au, barista!phil, slow burn [[ao3]] [[first chapter]] [[previous chapter]]

a/n: thank you to everyone for being the best audience i could hope for. i appreciate how patient y'all have been, how understanding you've been that i needed time time off because of Adulthood and Mental Health. i'm not feeling particularly articulate right now, but know that i love and appreciate you all. back to our regularly scheduled programming now! updates should come every 1.5 weeks-ish again :) also, a massive thanks to @auroraphilealis as always, not just for editing, but also for being a great best friend and a wonderful cheerleader. ily xx

Loud, persistent buzzing pulled Phil sharply from his sleep. It took a few sleepy seconds before he registered that the buzzing was his phone on his bedside table — and it was apparently ringing. Still half asleep, Phil waited until it stopped vibrating before reaching for it. It was too damn early to actually talk to anyone, but curiosity was still getting the best of him.

He pried an eye open and looked at the screen, instinctively flinching away from the bright light. Without his glasses, he was too blind to see who had called, but he could just barely make out the time — half past seven.

Nearly an hour before his alarm was due to go off.

That was nearly an hour of sleep that someone was trying to take from Phil. And after the whirlwind of last night’s date, Phil wanted nothing more than to sleep in. It wasn’t like Dan was here to give him a reason to get up.

With a stubborn, tired sigh, Phil rolled back into his pillow. Whoever had called could wait — at least until he was ready to get out of bed.

Just as he was drifting off again, though, his phone rang again. Grumbling, Phil pushed himself onto his elbows and held his phone close enough to his face that he could just barely make out PJ’s name.

PJ? Why was PJ calling him? PJ rarely called Phil. They skyped, sure, but those calls were usually scheduled and were always in the evening.

No, if PJ was caling at this hour, he must need something. And, unfortunately, Phil prided himself on being the Reliable Friend who always answered when his friends needed him.

Reluctantly, Phil swiped on PJ’s name, immediately putting the call on speaker so that he could fall back into his pillow.

“What the hell do you want, Peej?” Phil grumbled as soon as the phone call connected.

“Did I wake you up?”

“It’s not even eight in the morning,” Phil complained. “Of course you woke me up.”

“Mmm,” PJ hummed dismissively. “Are you with Dan?”

“No, I dropped him off after our date last night.” Phil stretched slightly, his hands reaching up under the pillow and hugging it closer to his face.

“Oh… have you, er, talked to him since?” PJ didn’t sound curious, and didn’t sound like he was trying to get information out of Phil about his date. PJ sounded… worried.

Growing concerned by PJ’s tone, Phil pushed himself back onto his elbows. “No, why? What happened?”

“I take it you haven’t been on the internet yet?”

“No. Get to the point, Peej,” Phil huffed impatiently.

“Dan — well, I thought maybe he’d’ve talked it over with you. I mean, twitter’s — fuck, how —“

“What the fuck happened?” Phil demanded, cutting off PJ’s rambling.

Even through the phone, and on speaker, Phil could hear PJ’s deep sigh, could feel his hesitation, before he finally spoke. “You need to look at Dan’s instagram. He sort of… made a big announcement in the dead of night.”

Phil felt a wave of dread wash over him. He certainly wasn’t sleepy anymore. A jumble of incoherent, panicked thoughts were battering at Phil’s brain, but he did his best to push them aside. Worrying wouldn’t do any good right now.

“Hang on, I’m pulling it up.”

Phil hit the home button on his phone with a bit more force than necessary, and was finally confronted with a frankly obscene amount of notifications given that he hadn’t done anything online since the day before yesterday, really. With a concerned huff, Phil swiped his glasses off his night table and shoved them onto his nose, the red dots on his iphone icons coming into focus.

Four hundred and twelve notifications from instagram.

One thousand, two hundred, and ninety from twitter.

Six emails in his work-only account.

And seven text messages.

Despite PJ’s urging to look at Dan’s instagram, Phil opened his messages first. There were three from PJ, which Phil ignored since Peej had clearly gotten ahold of him. Below PJ’s thread, there was a message from his mother and brother each. And finally below them were two messages from Dan.

The preview of their conversation showed that Dan’s most recent text — and we should probably talk — had come in at 3:34AM. That message alone made Phil’s heart pound against his chest.

“You there, mate?” PJ asked.

“Yeah,” Phil confirmed with a strangled gulp. “He texted me.”

“Oh?” PJ sounded interested.

Phil didn’t respond. He didn’t open the text. He didn’t breath. He didn’t do much of anything, really. He was frozen, trying to process what we should talk might mean, trying to convince himself it didn’t mean something horrible.

“Well?” PJ prompted when the silence drew on for too long. “What’d he say?”

“Right,” Phil mumbled as he forced himself to click on Dan’s message, to see what his previous message said. To see if it could make sense of whatever the fuck seemed to be happening this morning.

Phil’s eyes skimmed over his own four messages — he’d somehow blocked out the fact that he’d quadruple-texted Dan last night — before reading what Dan had said.

Dan [3:31 AM]: before you look at your twitter and instagram and whatever notifications, you should probably look at my instagram

Dan [3:34AM]: and we should probably talk

Together, the two messages did absolutely nothing to quell Phil’s anxiety. In fact, Phil’s heart was just thumping louder and more aggressively.

“He just said to look at his instagram.” Phil swallowed roughly. “And that we should talk.”

A quiet hum was PJ’s only response — another thing that didn’t help to calm the panic in Phil’s veins. Phil didn’t like the thoughts racing around his head, didn’t like that the first place his mind had gone was Isabella — and Dan getting back together with her.

Not that Phil really thought that was a risk, but still. The insecure part of his brain liked to remind him that Dan’s last partner had been a model, even if she was a bitch.

With a steeling breath, Phil tapped on the instagram icon.

It seemed to take a million and one years for the app to load, and when it finally did, it opened to a picture his brother had posted of his girlfriend.

Not helpful.

Not wanting to waste time scrolling through his feed, Phil tapped the magnifying glass. Dan’s name was at the top of his recent searches, a small “one new post” written below his username.

Quickly, but shaking with apprehension, Phil clicked on Dan’s profile.

It seemed to take forever for the page to load, but when it did, the first thing Phil saw was a picture of Dan’s scribbly handwriting, made all the more difficult to read by messy highlighting.

For a second, Phil was annoyed at the highlights, frustrated that Dan had obscured his writing even further than his nearly-illegible handwriting. But then the colors of the highlights sunk in — pink, purple, blue.

They were the bi-pride colors.

Phil knew, obviously, and he was certain Dan’s audience would know that, too.

By this point, Phil knew Dan well enough to know that Dan didn’t do anything unintentionally. Not in his music, not on social media, and not in real life. If he’d gone out of his way to highlight whatever he’d written and posted — well, the colors of the highlights were deliberate.

Phil bypassed the words in the picture and flickered down to the caption, hoping for a quick and easy explanation.

the majority of this album is being written thanks to one person. this is the song that started the whole concept of this album and i think it deserves a bit of an update after he took me out on the best first date of my life tonight. he might not have agreed with the timing of when i decided to rewrite it, though ;) xx

“Oh shit,” Phil muttered, dumbfounded, when the gravity of Dan’s caption finally sunk in.

“Yeah…” PJ murmured, his voice carefully neutral.

Phil glanced back up to the picture and scanned over Dan’s messy handwriting as fast as he could. From what Phil could tell, it looked like it was, well, about him. If the caption didn’t convince him, the let’s stop running from love and the fact that Dan confessed to rewriting something because of Phil last night…

“He came out,” Phil mumbled, unnecessarily pointing out the obvious.

“And took you with him, mate,” PJ grumbled.

Phil cocked his head to the side, his brows furrowing as he read and reread Dan’s post, trying to pinpoint what PJ was referencing. Nowhere did it mention his name or even anything identifying. The most telling piece of information was the he — but that pronoun could apply to a large portion of the world.

“How do’ya figure?” Phil asked.

“Mate, you and Dan haven’t been very subtle. Look at twitter.”

Even without opening twitter, Phil knew what PJ meant. Him and Dan had been, well, flirting for weeks now. There really wasn’t any other way to describe their online banter.

But upon skimming through his twitter notifications, Phil realized just how confident their audience was as they jumped to the albeit somewhat obvious conclusion.

Tweet after tweet had responded to Dan’s instagram post, all tagging Phil, all speculating on exactly who the he in Dan’s post could be.

And every tweet Phil saw guessed it was him.

And every tweet Phil saw was right.

“They all know anyway,” Phil mumbled flatly. He was supposed to be feeling something right now — surely he was. His boyfriend had just come out, his entire audience was — correctly — guessing that he was in a relationship with a famous singer, his own mum had probably texted him about it. And yet, Phil couldn’t wrap his mind around what he was feeling.

He just felt… surprised.

“Yeah. Are you okay with that?” PJ asked gently.

“I…” Phil tried to process all of the new new new as fast as he could. “I guess it was never that secret that I liked guys. I mean, how many times have I mentioned finding male celebrities attractive?”

“That’s true,” PJ agreed. “But I also know that hinting and confirming are two different things.”

“I mean… yeah,” Phil finally relented.

“But you didn’t know Dan was going to do this?”

“No…” Phil chewed on the inside of his cheek as he thought through all of the conversations him and Dan had had about their public image. “He made it sound like he didn’t want to come out at all.”

“What changed?”

“I don’t know,” Phil responded tersely.

He should know.

“Do you think he wants people to know that you’re the guy?” PJ pushed.

“I don’t know!” Phil snapped

He really should know.

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the line.“Sorry,” PJ muttered, clearing his voice before he spoke again. “What do you want?”

“I… don’t know,” Phil finished lamely.

Turns out he didn’t know much of anything.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” PJ offered softly.

“I…” Phil tried to think about it, he really did, but his mind kept coming back to why why why. At the end of their date, Dan had pulled Phil into the bloody loo to kiss goodnight, presumably because Dan hadn’t wanted the waitstaff to see, and then just a few hours later, Dan had gone and done that. “I need to talk to Dan. To know what the fuck happened.”

“That’s fair,” PJ agreed. “Can I do anything to help?”

“No, I’m just… gonna call him.” Phil pushed his glasses onto his head and roughly rubbed his face — an attempt to both wake up and alleviate some stress. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“Ring if you need me, okay? And let me know how it goes.”

“I will. I’ll text you later,” Phil promised. “Bye Peej.”

Needing to cancel his ten o’clock meeting with his manager, Phil opened his work email to send off some excuse, only to find that Marianne had already emailed him. Along with three people from the BBC. And every single subject line contained the name Daniel Howell.

How the hell had all of these people been up and about and reacting to social media already?

Phil ignored the multiple emails from the BBC, but opened the one from Marianne. He skimmed through the message, where she basically just pointed out what he already knew — that his audience had drawn some pretty big conclusions based on something Dan had posted. At the end of her email, she suggested they “review possible responses” during their meeting that morning.

Not fucking likely, Phil scoffed.

Quickly, Phil typed out the most adult version of sorry for the late notice, but I need to cancel our meeting because my brand-new boyfriend went off the walls in the middle of the night and I have no idea what’s happening. He didn’t bother to read it over again — now wasn’t the moment for proofreading — and immediately dialed Dan as soon as the email was sent.

The phone didn’t ring though, and instead went straight to voicemail. “Dammit Dan,” Phil mumbled in aggravation, hanging up before Dan’s voicemail could start recording.

Chewing on his lower lip, Phil thought through his options. If Dan’s phone was off, then no amount of texting or calling or facetiming would do any good. It was frustrating to have no way to contact Dan after he’d dropped such a massive bomb.

Except, well, that wasn’t quite true, was it?

Dan had put Phil on his permanent visitors list, so theoretically Phil could just… show up. Which might be a bit of a rash move but…

But nothing.

Phil was confused and caught off guard and felt like he deserved an explanation. Despite the early hour, Phil threw off his blue and green check comforter and pushed himself out of bed with steadfast resolution.

He wanted an explanation and, goddammit he’d get an explanation.

On shaky, tired feet, Phil riffled through his drawers for suitable trousers while kicking off his emoji pajamas. No human being — especially not his fashiony, hot new boyfriend — needed to see him in those. The first somewhat acceptable option Phil’s hand landed on were a pair of rather tight joggers, but he couldn’t be arsed to care at that moment. They’d have to do.

He kicked all the way out of his embarrassing, yellow pajamas and pulled on the tight sweatpants in their place. His loose Friends shirt would have to do, because he didn’t feel like wasting the time to find a suitable replacement, and it wasn’t that awful of a shirt.

Phil’s hair was probably a right mess too, but he couldn’t be bothered to deal with that either at the moment. All in all, this was definitely the least effort he’d ever put into his appearance when he knew he was going to see Dan, but he was growing impatient. Doing anything other than pulling on a jacket and shoes felt like it would waste too much time.

Even the three minute wait for the uber felt like too much time, and Phil had to refrain from just starting to walk over when he got downstairs and the car wasn’t there yet. But the car arrived before Phil could do anything rash, and Phil climbed in with only the briefest of smiles to the driver. His five star rating might take a hit, but he didn’t particularly care at that moment.

On the drive to Dan’s flat, the impatience in Phil’s stomach grew into something… more desperate. The more time he spent longing for an answer, the more he felt like he should already have one — like he should have known about what Dan was doing before he’d done it. And of course, of course, it was Dan’s decision if he wanted to come out — and hell, Phil was downright ecstatic for him — but Phil couldn’t help feeling like…

Feeling like he should have been part of the decision if Dan was going to so nearly pull Phil out of the closet, too.

Not that Phil was hiding in the closet, persay. But as PJ had pointed out, there was a big difference between hinting and confirming, and what Dan had just done was suddenly pushing Phil to confirm. And that Phil couldn’t quite wrap his head around.

He wasn’t against it. Not quite. But — fuck. He really would have liked to have been a part of the decision.

The process of getting into Dan’s building was the easiest yet, this time. All Phil had to do was tell the doorman his name and that he was there to see Dan before he was getting ushered into the lift, the seven button already pressed for him.

The ride up to Dan’s apartment felt shorter than normal — so short that Phil didn’t have time to collect his courage and figure out exactly what he wanted to say. When the doors opened to Dan’s flat, Phil hovered uncertainly in the lift, suddenly worried that it was incredibly rude to just invite himself over to Dan’s flat. Maybe Dan’s phone had gone straight to voicemail because he’d turned it off so he could sleep. Maybe Dan wasn’t ready to tell Phil about what he’d done.

But no, that wasn’t quite right. Dan had texted Phil, had told Phil to look at his instagram and had even said that they needed to talk. So it wasn’t absurd that he was here, now.

The lift doors started closing, the sudden movement pulling Phil harshly out of his spiral of anxious thoughts. Phil’s body, for once, was a step ahead of his mind, because his arm flew out to catch the door before he processed what was happening. He hurried out of the lift and into the foyer before the door could start to close again.

Dan had put Phil on his permanent visitors list. This was fine. It wasn’t insane that Phil was here right now.

Determined, Phil pushed his way further into the flat, walking quietly towards Dan’s room. He only made it as far as the lounge, though, before he ran smack into someone.

Someone much shorter than him or Dan.

“Phil?”

Surprised, Phil’s eyes scanned down and he took in the young woman standing in front of him — he certainly hadn’t been expecting anyone else to be here, and now he really was feeling like just coming over might have been a dick move.

“Louise?” he asked tentatively, nearly positive that he recognized her from Dan’s instagram and pictures he’d shown him of Darcy and her mum.

“Yes!” Louise greeted, her voice hushed. “I’m glad it’s you, when I heard the lift ding I thought —” She cut herself off, glancing back over her shoulder into the lounge. “Well, nevermind. Tea?”

“Oh, er…” Phil glanced over her head, his eyes drifting back towards Dan’s room. As much as he knew that Louise was definitely someone that he should be trying to make a good impression on, Phil really didn’t want to sit down for a cuppa right now. His mind was still reeling from the whirlwind of this morning, and he could barely think straight, much less talk coherently to a stranger.

But regardless, he knew how important Louise was to Dan — and how much Louise’s opinion mattered to him — so Phil pushed back the swirling confusion muddling his head and forced himself to smile pleasantly. “I might just look for Dan if you don’t mind.” Anxiously, Phil rubbed the back of his neck and hoped that his smile wasn’t coming out too much like a grimace.

Louise’s eyes flicked behind her. Her tense shoulders and skeptical eyes gave Phil the feeling that she wasn’t sure if him seeking Dan out was a good idea. “He’s asleep at the moment,” she said, pursing her lips and staring at Phil thoughtfully, like she was trying to figure him out. “You sure I can’t interest you in tea? He’ll probably be asleep a while.”

“I…” Phil’s eyes darted around as he searched for an excuse out of socializing. Much to his dismay, he couldn’t easily find one. He opened and closed his mouth as he desperately tried to find a polite way out of making small talk with Louise — this certainly wasn’t the first impression he wanted to make on Dan’s best friend.

“I’m not really up for tea, right now,” Phil blurted out abruptly, settling on the truth and cringing at his bluntness. Phil shifted his gaze down to his feet, unable to continue meeting her eye. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “This morning’s just been a lot already, and…”

Louise sighed, and shot Phil an unsure look. Phil watched as her arms came up, and she crossed them over her chest. “Dan had a late night last night.”

“I know,” Phil admitted, anxiously shifting back and forth on his feet. “But I need to talk to him.”

“And you can wait until he wakes up,” Louise said with an air of finality, her arms still crossed in front of her.

Phil sighed and tugged on his sloppy quiff, aggravated — not quite at Louise, just more at… the situation in general. His phone felt heavy in his pocket, and he was hyper aware of all of the emails and texts that he needed to respond to.

Emails and texts that he didn’t know how to respond to because Dan hadn’t fucking talked to him.

“Look,” Phil said, keeping his voice as steady and calm as he could. “I kind of woke up to a PR nightmare this morning and —”

“Oh god, are you not out?” Louise interrupted, her eyes growing wide in panic.

“I — mostly,” Phil hesitated, unsure how to phrase it. The being out thing wasn’t exactly his main problem here. “Never in crystal clear words, but it was out there.” Phil shrugged that particular concern off. “But, like, I hadn’t told my manager — or even my mum — that I was dating Dan yet, and now they definitely both know because they aren’t idiots.” Phil gestured around wildly, his arms trying to convey how absolutely insane the situation was so that he didn’t end up shouting, despite his frustration. “I’m not sure who’s going to be more upset about not knowing. And I can’t even respond to them, because I have no idea what to say because I have no idea what the fuck happened. We haven’t even discussed if we want our relationship to be public or how to handle the media or anything!”

Phil’s arms fell to his sides, limp and useless, as his rant came to a sudden, frustrated end.

His little tantrum must have done some good, though, because Louise looked a bit more empathetic now.

“I get it,” she sighed, sounding resigned. “I’m a manager. And a mum.”

“Thanks,” Phil smiled tersely. “So then you won’t mind if I…?” he gestured vaguely over Louise’s shoulder.

Her eyes traced over him slowly, carefully appraising him. “Fine,” she relented after a minute. “Just… try not to be too hard on him, okay? I’m sure he’ll be in a touchy mood when he wakes up.” Despite her understanding words, Louise still looked wary.

Phil wondered how many stories of hot-tempered, passionate fights Louise had heard over the last year.

“I promise I won’t be a — I won’t be like Isabella,” Phil offered, hoping that the heavy, sincere weight of his voice would convince Louise that he was different.

Louise’s eyes grew wide, her jaw falling open just a hair — she looked surprised, but maybe also a bit… pleased? The tenseness in her shoulders melted — at least some — and she looked less wary. The assurance that not only he knew about Isabella, but was also determined to be different seemed to matter to Louise.

“Good. Because you’ll have me to report to if you hurt him,” Louise threatened, but there was a humorous glint in her eye and a hint of a smile ghosting her lips.

“I won’t hurt him, but that’s a deal.” Phil smiled weakly with an emphatic nod. “So is it okay if I…?” Phil pointed vaguely over Louise’s shoulder, trying to ask her to let him by as gently as possible.

Louise nodded, stepping around Phil towards the foyer. “Yeah, I’m going to nip out then. Tell Dan to text me at some point today, and be nice.”

Phil was tempted to make a sarcastic comment, but didn’t want to risk Louise’s trust. He couldn’t help feeling like he was on a very short leash as it was right now. “I promise I won’t even scream or anything, okay?”

“Good,” Louise said with a smile before heading for the lift. Just before she got to the foyer, she spun around to face Phil again. “Good luck with your mum. And manager.”

“Thanks,” Phil laughed with a genuine smile. “I think I’ll need it.”

Phil waited for the ding of the lift, wanting to make sure Louise was well gone before he sought out Dan, before gathering his courage and carrying on down the hallway. For a split second, he hesitated outside of the closed bedroom door, not completely certain that it was acceptable for him to just burst into Dan’s room and wake him up.

But the memory of the literal thousands of notifications was fresh in Phil’s head, so he pushed open the bedroom door anyway.

The bed, however, was neatly made, and there was no Dan in sight.

Weird. Louise had definitely said that Dan was still asleep. Maybe the guest bedroom?

Confused, Phil stepped backwards and turned back down the hallway, peeking his head into the next room. No Dan in that bed, either.

Phil couldn’t imagine that Dan would be in the music room, and he wasn’t sure where else to look other than the lounge. Phil made his way back, tentatively looking around the lounge entrance before entering.

Curled up on the sofa, still in his tight studded sweater from the night before, was Dan. Despite Phil’s confusion and anxiety, his heart melted. Dan’s hair — and the entire lounge, now that Phil was really looking — was a complete wreck.

There was glass on the floor, both large chunks and shattered shards, that Phil had to navigate around on his way to the sofa. The table — which Phil was accustomed to seeing in a pristine state — was covered in papers and — oh god was that the lube? — on one end. Dan’s notebook was open on the floor, surrounded by a hodge podge of markers. Phil had to bite back the urge to flip through it, to see what else Dan was working on, to pry just a little.

That wasn’t what was important right now, though. Phil turned his back on the mess and properly took in Dan’s lanky body curled up tight on the sofa.

Looking more carefully, Phil’s eyes lingered on where Dan’s trousers were riding down, a soft pale patch of stomach poking out. Dan’s hands were cradled near his face, and his phone was dangling from his fingertips. Phil hovered above Dan, rocking back and forth between his feet as he tried to decide if he really should wake Dan up.

Phil knew Dan had been up late — close to four, at least, and that was assuming he’d gone to sleep straight after texting Phil. Letting Dan sleep a little longer was definitely the nice, selfless thing to do.

But Phil was too anxious and desperate for answers to be selfless right now.

Before Phil could lose his nerve, he reached out and poked Dan’s shoulder.

The poke, however, didn’t seem to be enough to rouse Dan from his sleep. “Dan?” Phil tried, his fingers rubbing into Dan’s bicep a bit harder. “Babe? Wake up?”

“Mmmh,” Dan grumbled. Even in his sleep, Dan seemed reluctant to be roused.

“Please babe? I really need to talk to you,” Phil pleaded. He switched tactics and grabbed ahold of Dan’s shoulder, gently shaking until Dan started stirring.

“Louise?” Dan mumbled, nearly incoherent, without opening his eyes. “Wha’ d’ya want?”

“No, it’s Phil,” Phil corrected.

“Oh.” Dan’s eyes fluttered open, slowly drifting upwards to meet Phil’s.

They were red. Much redder than they normally were when Dan woke up.

The rawness of Dan’s eyes, and the way he rubbed at them, made Phil wonder just how late of a night Dan and Louise had had.

Blearily, Dan’s gaze fell from Phil’s, scanning the room before landing on his phone. Without saying anything else to Phil, he tapped the home button, only to sigh when it wouldn’t come on. “What time s’it?” Dan asked blearily.

“About eight thirty,” Phil guessed without actually checking a clock.

Dan nodded, his eyes drifting back to his phone. “Hang on,” he said, “Lemme plug this s’in ‘nd get some coffee.” Dan pushed up off the sofa, stretching slightly and making his sweater ride up even further. “Want some?” he asked, eyes bleary as he glanced at Phil before turning to leave.

Phil’s brows furrowed, bewildered that Dan was so casually offering him coffee.

As if nothing major had happened since they’d last seen each other.

“Wait—” Phil said as he reached out and caught Dan by the wrist, preventing him from going anywhere. “Are you not even going to acknowledge it?” he asked, annoyance starting to creep into his voice.

Dan raised his eyebrows, but didn’t say anything.

Phil blinked back rapidly, baffled by Dan’s lack of… well, anything.

“Oh come on, don’t play dumb,” Phil groaned, irritated. Dan’s eyes grew wide and he held Phil’s gaze for a fleeting moment before flickering off to the side. In the brief seconds that Dan had looked at him, Phil could see entire pools of emotions — emotions that he wasn’t quite sure what to make of. There was sleepiness, but there was also worry and… something else.

Something that Phil really wished Dan would just share with him.

“Your texts? Instagram? The internet?” Phil prompted, his voice growing more and more pointed with each suggestion when Dan didn’t say anything.

Dan ran his free hand through his hair, grabbing at the ends of his curls and tugging. His eyes drifted back to Phil’s, and he stepped minutely backwards, his hand nearly coming out of Phil’s grip. “I know, I know,” Dan finally sighed, sounding defeated “I just really need some fucking coffee first. I had a long night.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve had a long morning,” Phil countered; his fingers wrapped more tightly around Dan’s arm, his nails insistently digging into the soft underside of Dan’s wrist.

Dan flinched back, his hand yanking backwards out of Phil’s grip and curling protectively against his chest. “I suppose that’s my doing, then?” he asked meekly as he stared down at the space between them.

Phil shot Dan an unamused look, not that Dan was looking up to see it. A part of him was itching to reach out and force Dan to look up at him, but Dan didn’t look like he’d be okay with Phil touching him just now. “No, I normally wake up to thousands of notifications after a nice quiet day away from social media,” Phil quipped, unable to keep a sarcastic edge out of his voice.

Dan’s eyes clamped shut, and he drew in a sharp breath. His arms shifted to cross in front of his chest, his entire body crumpling in on itself. “Just… hang on,” Dan begged softly without looking at Phil. He sounded so small, so young. Guilt washed over Phil — he was responsible for making Dan look so vulnerable. “Let me get a cup of coffee. Please.”

Phil drew his hands back to his side, shoving them in the front pockets of his joggers as a silent promise that he wasn’t going to try to stop Dan. “Of course,” he nodded, trying his best to keep his voice soft and even. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

With a small shake of his head, Dan teetered away from Phil cautiously and backed out of the room without ever turning fully away. At the last second, Dan spun around, narrowly avoiding running into the doorframe as he exited the lounge.

It was an odd reaction, one that gave Phil the sense that Dan was afraid to turn his back on Phil. Self-defensive reactions like that weren’t usually natural — they were learned.

Phil swallowed thickly, suddenly wondering how deep Louise’s fears ran. Dan’s movements were shaky, guarded, and he seemed to be fighting the urge to not look over his shoulder. Not wanting to make Dan more uncomfortable, Phil trailed behind at a distance as Dan led the way.

In the kitchen, Dan went straight to start the coffee and Phil came to a rest at the opposite counter. Dan still wasn’t meeting Phil’s eyes — hell, he wasn’t even looking up — but Phil could tell that Dan knew exactly where Phil was by the wide berth he gave Phil’s spot along the counter.

The entire kettle shook when Dan filled it with water; his hands were trembling, but his jaw was set, rigid. “Coffee?” Dan murmured without glancing over.

“Sure,” Phil accepted quietly. He made an effort to keep his voice as soft and gentle as he could. “Milk —”

“And two sugars, same as your tea. I know,” Dan interrupted quietly. If something weren’t so clearly wrong with Dan’s behavior right now, Phil would have been touched that Dan knew how he took his coffee. Instead, Phil was hyper-focused on Dan’s shaky movements and watched carefully as Dan rummaged through the cupboards, finally pulling out a ceramic soup bowl that was nearly mug-like and — oh. Phil had forgotten that Dan only had one functioning mug.

Because Isabella smashed the rest. In a fight. A fight unlike any fight Phil that had ever had.

Regardless, Dan poured milk and sugar into the proper mug, adding only the smallest spoonful of sugar to the makeshift mug. That was so typical Dan — putting others first, always striving to make others happy. Phil’s lips twitched for a second, nearly quirking up into a smile at Dan’s persistent thoughtfulness.

Phil waited in silence for the kettle to boil, knowing that he wasn’t likely to get anything useful out of a sleepy Dan. Plus, he hoped that a bit of quiet — and space — would help calm whatever Dan’s fears were.

It felt like it took the coffee maker ages to brew their coffee. Phil was growing well anxious, and Dan didn’t seem to be in much of a better state. Eventually, though, Dan was pouring two cups of coffee, passing the polka dotted mug to Phil, and hugging the soup bowl close to himself.

Dan took a large gulp of his coffee, only lowering it a few centimeters when he was done. The mug was held up high, nearly obscuring his face, and his gaze was focused on the black liquid inside. Dan’s arms were tucked into his chest, and his shoulders hunched up. Again, Phil was struck by how small Dan looked.

“Well? Let’s hear it then,” Dan whispered without looking up.

“Hear what?” Phil asked, head cocked, confused.

“You’re mad at me, so let’s just… get the part where you yell at me or whatever over with.” Dan’s eyes flicked up, just barely landing on Phil, and looked back at his coffee so quickly that Phil would certainly have missed it if he wasn’t watching Dan so closely.

Phil’s heart plummeted into his stomach as Dan confirmed his dreaded speculations — all of this, all of Dan’s current behavior, had something to do with how fights had gone in the past. Phil opened and closed his mouth, sputtering stupidly like a fish as he tried to figure out what to say.

“I didn’t come over here to yell at you,” Phil tried his best to placate his boyfriend, even though he didn’t really know how. Not right now, not with this new, scared Dan.They’d only had one tiff since meeting, and then it’d blown over because Phil had dropped it. But it wasn’t a lie — no matter how desperate and confused and frustrated Phil was, yelling at Dan was never his intention.

“But you are mad,” Dan said simply, still addressing his coffee more than Phil.

“I’m not mad, I’m… in shock, I guess.” Phil blew on his coffee, stalling for time as he grappled for a way he could express his frustrations without unnecessarily startling Dan.

“Call it whatever you want, but I can tell you’re not happy with me,” Dan mumbled.

“Okay, fine,” Phil relented, swallowing his trepediations and deciding to speak his mind. “I was shocked when I woke up to thousands of messages on my social media talking about you coming out and speculating about us.” Dan nodded — a microscopic, subtle movement — but didn’t say anything, so Phil continued. “And I’ll admit that I was a bit miffed when I realized that Louise was here but you didn’t even try to contact me last night.”

“Louise is my best friend,” Dan pushed back, a hint of anger in his voice.

“And I’m your boyfriend now!” Phil insisted. “In order for a relationship to work, we have to communicate, Dan.”

“You’re not my fucking boss,” Dan barked. “I can talk to whoever the fuck I want to. And if you’ve got a problem with Louise, you can just leave now.” There was a harsh edge to Dan’s voice, but beneath it, Phil could just barely tell that it was shaking — shaking with what, he wasn’t sure. Anger, maybe. Or fear.

“I don’t have a problem with Louise,” Phil argued. “It’s just — I texted you four bloody times last night. You could have talked to me if you needed… I don’t know, help, or whatever.” Phil waved his hand in frustration as his words failed him.

Dan sat his mug down on the counter, a loud clack filling the kitchen as the ceramic made contact with the granite countertop. “Look I just spent a fucking year with someone who didn’t like Louise and hated that I went to her for stuff, and if you’re gonna be that way too, then just fuck off already,” Dan spat out harshly.

If Phil wasn’t already leaning against the opposite counter, he would have jumped back at that. As it was, his lower back dug into the counter as he recoiled from Dan’s words.

“Don’t fucking compare me to Isabella!” Phil snapped, disgust and horror holding tight in his stomach. “I don’t give a rat’s ass that you go to your best friend instead of me sometimes, but when you end up doing something that all but confirms that you and I are dating, yeah, I’d like to be a part of the decision!”

“You can’t control me Phil.” Dan’s shoulders drew up impossibly closer to his ears, his voice growing high pitched. “I can’t take the time to get written permission from you every time I want to say something about my album.”

“And I’m not asking you to!” Phil retaliated. “But couldn’t you have waited, like, a day so that I wasn’t completely blindsided by you basically outing me when I woke up this morning?”

“No,” Dan huffed, an edge of stubbornness cutting into his defiance.

“No?” Phil asked incredulously.

“No,” Dan repeated, his voice even more forceful this time. “You couldn’t have talked me out of it.”

“I wouldn’t have tried to!” Phil exclaimed before he could process what Dan had said — before he could process that Dan seemed to think that Phil would try to control him. In some ways, at least. “I get that given… your album…” Phil trailed off as he grappled for the right words, words that would capture how Dan’s album affected Phil’s life without him sounding ungrateful or overly important.

He took a deep breath before continuing. “I get that your album is going to take away some of the privacy and control over my image that I’m used to having online, and that’s fine. But couldn’t this have waited, like, a day so that we could talk about it first? And I could… I don’t know, tell my family we were properly dating first?”

Dan shook his head forcefully, his curls flopping down into his face. “You don’t understand Phil. There wasn’t time. It had to be now.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?” Phil huffed, his free hand lacing through his hair and pushing it further back.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Dan snapped, his arms crossing hotly in front of his chest.

“I’m sure I would if you would stop being defensive for five seconds and actually explained yourself!” The words flew out of Phil’s mouth before he realized what he was saying. They were harsh, yes, but they were true. It felt like all Dan was doing this morning was be overly contrary for no discernible reason, and he wasn’t fucking listening. Phil didn’t want to be angry right now, he really didn’t. It was just hard when Dan was acting like this.

Dan appeared to have heard that, though, if the way he flinched backwards was anything to go by.

“Excuse me?” Dan challenged. He sounded positively outraged, his tone just this side of livid. His shoulders were shaking, and Phil could see anger flaring in his eyes.

And something else, too. Something like… hurt.

Phil put his own mug down on the counter, dragging his hands down his face in exasperation. This wasn’t the conversation — well, fight, at this rate — that he’d come over here to have this morning. Phil hadn’t been wanting to argue, he’d just wanted to understand.

“I’m just trying to talk to you, Dan,” Phil pleaded, his voice coming out whiny and needy “I just want to know what the hell happened last night.”

“Right,” Dan laughed bitterly. “You want to know all about the part where I almost outed you, but you don’t seem at all concerned about the part where I actually came out.”

“That was your choice!” Phil insisted, voice raised.

“No it wasn’t!” Dan bellowed back.

Phil froze, his eyes snapping up to meet Dan’s again. Dan had pushed off the counter, and crossed almost half of the kitchen. He was standing rigid, his body leaning forward, his hands in tight fists by his sides. Dan’s eyes were blown wide — he looked shocked by his own words.

Phil certainly was.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Phil asked slowly, warily. Something happened last night — something big — that much was clear. What wasn’t clear, though, was why Dan hadn’t called Phil last night.

They could have talked about it. Phil could have helped.

“It means — it means —” Dan stuttered, before abruptly giving up. The tension melted out of Dan’s shoulders as he crumpled in on himself, retreating back to lean against his countertop. “It doesn’t mean anything. Can we just move on?”

“No we can’t bloody move on,” Phil huffed, his frustration growing. He’d passed impatient, passed needing answers; now, he was downright desperate. “Can you just tell me what the fuck you mean, already? What happened last night?”

Phil stared at Dan with pleading eyes, silently begging him to explain what he’d meant. For a moment, Dan just stared back at Phil. A loud silence overtook the room, neither of them saying anything else.

Finally, the tense silence was interrupted by a sharp sigh from Dan. Dan’s gaze fell from Phil’s, turning down to his own feet. An agitated hand ran through Dan’s hair, tugging on his curls.

A brief wave of relief shot through Phil, certain that he was about to get an explanation for Dan’s weird behavior. Phil pushed away from the counter, debating whether he should go to Dan, maybe tip his head up and kiss his forehead. Something small to make Dan feel more comfortable talking.

But then, Dan was crossing the kitchen in three big strides, coming to a halt right in front of Phil. Bewildered, Phil searched Dan’s face, trying to figure out what the hell Dan was doing. Dan’s eyes were wild, frantic, a panicked gleam shimmering in them. His cheeks were flushed red, his mouth drawn in a tight line. He was so, so close, so afraid.

And then he was gone.

Phil blinked rapidly, confused and unsure where Dan had disappeared to. One second he was there, and then poof he was gone.

Unsure, that was, until a sudden waft of cool air washed over his upper thighs.

Phil’s attention snapped down, finding Dan again. Dan’s hands were on Phil’s joggers — joggers that he’d managed to tug down to Phil’s knees before Phil had even realized where Dan had gone. He was still tugging, trying to wrestle them over Phil’s knees now.

“Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan,” Phil gasped, his voice coming out rushed and urgent. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Dan didn’t look up at Phil. Instead, his hands abandoned Phil’s joggers, leaving them wrapped around Phil’s bony knees, and latched onto Phil’s boxers. His hands pulled insistently, frantically — too frantic to be particularly effective, mercifully.

“Dan!” Phil implored. The shock of the situation finally wore off, and Phil finally launched into motion, his hands flying out to catch Dan’s and prying them away from his hips. His boxers were awkwardly a bit low now, but Phil didn’t risk letting go of Dan’s hands — Phil was worried that Dan would just reach back to pull them all the way over his arse. “Look at me!” Phil ordered forcefully.

Slowly, painfully, Dan’s eyes drifted up and came to rest somewhere around Phil’s neck.

Phil took a deep breath, calming himself down, before he hooked his fingers under Dan’s chin and coaxed his head the rest of the way up. “Dan, sweetheart, what are you doing?” Phil asked, careful to keep a gentle tone to his voice now that he had Dan’s attention.

“Making the fight go away,” Dan responded. His voice was small — so, so small — and he still wasn’t quite meeting Phil’s gaze.

Phil stared blankly, his eyes trailing over Dan’s scared face, as he tried to figure out what was happening.

Suddenly, Phil was assaulted with the image of Dan covered in hickeys and scratches, embarrassed and ashamed as he admitted to Phil that they were from angry sex — angry sex that came from a fight.

Phil’s jaw dropped.

It didn’t shock Phil to know that Dan and Isabella dealt with their problems through sex, but he was a bit astonished to find the effects so lasting, to realize that Dan still seemed to think that angry sex was the proper solution to an argument, even with Phil.

Phil shook his head forcefully — both in attempt to tell Dan no, and also to shake himself out of his head and into action.

“Babe,” Phil whispered. Looking down at Dan’s vulnerable, submissive stance, Phil felt his heart breaking. Desperate to make them feel like equals again, Phil sunk down to his knees, too. He let go of Dan’s wrists, reaching up to brush back his unruly curls from his face. “Blowing me isn’t going to make the fight go away,” he whispered softly..

“Oh,” Dan muttered, voice small. His eyes trailed down between them. Phil couldn’t see his expression, but his body language spoke volumes. “It’s well and truly fucked then, huh?”

Dan sounded so scared, so distraught, that Phil wasn’t sure what to say for a moment. Dan sounded like he genuinely believed that it — they — must be fucked if a blowjob wasn’t going to fix their fight.

Phil’s shock turned to horror when he saw tears leak down Dan’s face.

“Oh, baby. No, no,” Phil cooed. His hands flew from Dan’s hair to cup his cheeks, his thumbs swiping under Dan’s eyes and smearing the tears away. “No, nothing’s fucked baby.”

Slowly, Dan tilted his head up to look at Phil. “It’s — it’s not?” he hiccupped, his voice coming out higher and more crackly than normal.

“Of course not,” Phil promised, rushed and confident. His eyes were wide in horror at the very idea of them, this, their relationship, being over so soon. His brows were furrowed in confusion at the idea of Dan being concerned that this was over — that they were over. “But the way to make the fight go away is to tell me what’s going on, tell me what you’re thinking.”

Dan sniffled loudly, his eyes fluttering closed again. He was quiet for a moment, with the exception of a few residual hiccups, but then he nodded slowly, his eyes still closed.

“Yeah? You’ll talk to me this time?” Phil asked hopefully.

Dan nodded again.

“Without getting defensive?” Phil prompted, half teasing, half trying to encourage Dan to act more rationally this time.

“Yeah,” Dan agreed meekly. He fell forward, Phil’s arms wrapping around and catching him on instinct. The second Phil’s arms were around Dan, Dan burrowed into him, melting against his chest. Dan’s hands were smushed between them, crooked at an awkward angle, but Phil didn’t mind.

Silence settled between them as Dan calmed down. Slowly, gently, Phil started tracing his fingers up and down Dan’s spine, his fingers catching on the studs of Dan’s sweater.

After a moment, Dan mumbled, “Can we sit down?”

Phil pulled back and pressed a lingering kiss to Dan’s forehead. “Lead the way, sweetheart.”

Dan minutely leaned into Phil’s lips, pushing his head into the kiss for a moment before pulling back. He pushed up to his feet, and immediately offered Phil a hand up. Dan’s gaze trailed over Phil as he climbed off the floor; Phil felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he remembered the state of his clothing.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Dan muttered, his eyes meaningfully flicking down to Phil’s half drawn joggers.

“It’s okay,” Phil murmured back softly as he stood up with Dan’s help. Phil’s spare hand flew to his joggers, pulling them back up his hips as he stood. He tried his best to swallow down his embarrassment, to make his cheeks go back to a pale white; he didn’t want to call any more attention to Dan’s rash advances than necessary. Not right now.

For the first time that morning, Phil was thankful that he’d only been able to find the tight joggers that morning — anything looser would likely have slipped straight down Phil’s thin legs and likely made the whole situation more awkward.

Dan dropped Phil’s hand to turn and collect their coffees from their respective countertops while Phil fixed his pants and joggers,. “Come on,” Dan muttered, cocking his head out of the room.

Phil obediently followed Dan out the kitchen and towards the lounge, nearly smashing into him when Dan came to a sudden halt in the middle of the hallway.

“What?” Phil asked, alarmed.

Dan spun around to face Phil. “I don’t wanna be in the lounge.” His words came out rushed, his voice high. “It’s a mess.”

“I don’t mind,” Phil assured him, “But we can go wherever you want.” Phil stepped backwards, moving closer to the wall so that Dan could navigate around him and lead them somewhere else.

“I need something from in there, though,” Dan insisted; his words were vague, but his tone was determined. He thrusted their coffees at Phil without much more of an explanation. Phil grabbed the coffees in silent shock, his fingers barely wrapping around the mugs and steadying them before Dan let go.

“I’ll meet you in the bed,” Dan said with a note of finality.

Dan only made it a few paces down the hallway before he stopped and spun back around to face Phil. “If that’s okay, I mean,” he said quickly, his voice high and rushed. “It’ll be more comfortable than the music room and I swear I won’t, like, try anything again. Like, I promise I’ll talk, I’m just really tired and I —”

“Dan,” Phil interrupted gently. “The bed’s fine. Get whatever you need. I’ll be there waiting for you.”

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #phan au #au #coffee shop au #barista!phil #singer!dan #iminclinedtowriting #ly #love yourself

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