#or those cardboard juice packs the kids love

[theharlotofferelden]

I love how True Blood is just a series of events featuring ppl drinking each others blood. Now they’re getting Hoyt and Jessica involved. Rite of passage.

#personal: live reactions #tv: true blood #you guys know blood stains the shit out of clothing right #just keep a cooler on you at all times #with various kinds of blood #maybe keep them in a sippy cup #or those cardboard juice packs the kids love #bc y’all are animals

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

A/N: no fic-related news but i did get my first dose of the covid vaccine today so that’s exciting! GET VAXXED, PEOPLE! SPENCER WOULD WANT YOU TO!!

Masterlist

Chapter 20

“Hey Hotch,” Spencer knocked on his boss’s door.

Spencer got in extra early today to have his meeting with Hotch and hopefully tie up all the loose ends in his paperwork.

“Reid, come in,” Hotch gestured to one of the chairs in front of his desk.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and talking with Y/N and I think my time at the BAU is coming to an end,” Spencer said.

“I see,” Hotch leaned back in his chair, “Well, I think it goes without saying that you would certainly be missed. But, I’m not going to try to convince you to stay because I feel like this is a good decision for you...one I probably should have made myself if we’re being completely honest.”

“You made it work though, Jack loves his superhero dad,” Spencer reassured him, “I just can’t keep missing stuff after already missing six years. It’s too much and I certainly can’t focus on cases when I’m desperately wishing I was somewhere else.”

“How about this? We put you on temporary unpaid leave for a year. Then, you can either choose to come back or quit for good. This will give you plenty of family time and then you’ll see if you’re ever ready to return or not. It’s up to you. Also, if I just put you on leave, it can start as early as tomorrow. Instead of you just quitting and then having to put your two weeks in and be called away on more cases.”

“That sounds great, Hotch. Thank you so much for your understanding. If I don’t come back, it was a pleasure working with you. But I’m sure I will see you around at Rossi’s dinner parties,” Spencer grinned.

Hotch and Spencer hugged before pulling away to see the rest of the team filing into the bullpen.

“I guess I have to tell them,” Spencer sighed, knowing they would be a little disappointed at the sudden news.

“Hey guys, I have an announcement,” Spencer walked out of Hotch’s office.

“You have another secret daughter?” Derek joked.

“Y/N is pregnant?” Penelope guessed.

“You’re engaged?” Emily asked.

“Um no to all, I know this is a bit sudden and I apologize for that but effective tomorrow, I will be taking a year long leave from the BAU which may turn permanent,” Spencer spoke softly.

Silence filled the room.

“It’s not that I don’t love this job or you guys. You all know you are my best friends but I just really need to be home with my family right now,” Spencer explained.

Derek was the first to walk up to Spencer, “We’re gonna miss you around here, kid.”

He pulled Spencer in for a hug, ruffling up his hair.

Penelope was next in line to hug Spencer with a tissue already dabbing at her eyes.

“I hate to see you go, Boy Wonder, but I know it’s what’s best for you,” she said.

“I think Jo may be an even stricter boss than Hotch,” Rossi teased.

“She does have a tendency to get grumpy when she isn’t allowed to have ice cream for dinner,” Spencer laughed lightly, wiping the tears that were forming from his eyes.

“Please don’t ever stop talking. I know we tease you but I truly am going to miss your rambles,” Emily whispered.

“I’m just a phone call away,” he promised.

“You deserve this. Do not feel bad,” JJ reminded him.

He nodded in acknowledgement, his voice getting caught in the lump in his throat.

“We need a cake!” Penelope exclaimed, “I will not have the Good Doctor’s last day be cakeless especially with that sweet tooth of his.”

“On it,” Derek said, grabbing his keys.

“Decorations too! See if Party City has a Happy Retirement section!” she shouted after him.

“You’ve got it, baby girl,” Derek replied.

-

Spencer returned home in the evening with a cardboard box full of his belongings that once resided on his desk. 7 years of his career packed into one box. It seemed sad to him that such a big chapter of his life was closing.

But then, he walked inside. You and Jo had karaoke up on the TV screen. You both were currently in the middle of Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Jo even had her baseball cap on backwards to complete the look.

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never ends. If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give. Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is,” Jo sang.

Then you jumped in, “So, here's a story from A to Z. You wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully. We got Em in the place who likes it in your face. You got G like MC who likes it on a

Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady. And as for me, ha you'll see.”

“Slam your bodies down and wind it all around,” you both sang.

You turned around to see Spencer standing there and you let out a yelp.

“Oh no, please continue. Don’t stop on my account,” he grinned.

“Daddy!” Jo jumped up into his arms.

He moved Jo to his hip as you approached.

“Hi, love,” you greeted him with a kiss.

He was no longer sad. This was the right choice. This is where he belonged.

-

“Shhh” is the first thing you heard as you awoke followed by the quiet rattling of dishes.

“Jo, no!” you heard Spencer whisper-shout, “I said not until Mommy wakes up.”

“I’m up,” you muttered into your pillow.

You turned to the side of your bed to see Jo standing there with a tray of food and Spencer behind her with a bouquet of flowers.

You smiled softly.

“Happy Mother’s Day!” they both cheered.

“Thank you, my loves,” you gave them both kisses, accepting the tray from Jo as Spencer set the flower vase down on your bedside table.

The food on the tray consisted of a mug of coffee, a cup of orange juice, bacon, a bowl of blueberries, and a big chocolate chip pancake with sliced strawberries for the eyes and nose and a whipped cream smile.

“Very artistic,” you grinned.

Spencer returned next to you in bed, getting under the covers. He was wearing a plain gray fitted t-shirt, flannel PJ pants, and his glasses.

“Jo, you can go get your present for Mommy while she eats,” he suggested.

Once Jo left the room to go retrieve her gift, you planted a much messier kiss on Spencer’s lips.

“Not that I’m complaining but what was that for?” he smirked.

“You know how sexy I told you those glasses make you look,” you stated, taking a bite of a strip of bacon.

“I’ll keep them on all day then as part of your gift,” he smiled.

Jo crawled on to the bed with a wrapped box and an envelope taped to it. The card was clearly homemade by Jo and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Look at this beautiful artwork!” you exclaimed, opening the card.

Inside was a gift card for a spa downtown surrounded by Jo’s doodles.

“JJ said that place was really nice. There’s enough on there for you and a friend to get a full day of pampering,” Spencer said.

“Well, that’s good that she likes it because I will probably bring her along as my fellow mom. Thank you both,” you smiled.

Jo pushed the wrapped box towards you. You opened it to find a multi-colored beaded necklace.

“I made it for you, Mommy,” Jo beamed as you put it on over your head.

“That is so very thoughtful of you,” you kissed her forehead, “It fits me perfectly and you even included my favorite color.”

“I planned a picnic for today but if you would rather stay home and relax all day, I totally get it. Jo and I can go to the park and you can have some peace and quiet,” Spencer offered.

“Are you kidding me? It’s called Mother’s Day, I want to spend some time with the little girl who made me the luckiest one in the entire world,” you smiled.

“Picnic, it is then. I’ll get Jo all dressed and the bag packed. Here, let me take that,” Spencer left the room, balancing Jo on one hip and your tray of dirty dishes on the other.

You were really going to have to bring your all for Father’s Day next month.

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer x reader #reid x reader #cm fanfic #criminal minds

[nitannichionne]

If He Was YOUR Fan Chapter 27: Hallow’s Eve (A Henry Cavill Fan Fic)

CHAPTER 27: HALLOW’S EVE

“You don’t look like Peeta.” You quirk your eyebrow at Henry humorously. Truthfully he looked better.

“But I do look like a tribute.” He shrugs. “A bad one, maybe?” He grabs you and pulls you against his chest, your hands landing on his pecs as you look up at him. His voice deepens. “Wanna stay alive? Stay with me, little girl. Never leave my side.”

You laugh at him, but then he kisses you in such a way that you are sure you could be late for the party. “Henry…” In the privacy of the trailer it was way too easy for that to happen. “We could be late for the party.”

His gaze moves over you appreciatively. “Yeah.”

You smile up at him. “Behave.”

“I am behaving,” he says with mock innocence. “Just badly.” He starts backing you toward the bedroom door and a knock interrupts you. “Damn it!”

You giggle at him and he does not relinquish his hold on you as you circle him and edge toward the door. “Yes?”

“Hey, where’s the wine?” Stuart calls from outside.

“Stuart—” Stella admonishes and after hearing Stuart say, “ow” you start laughing.

“It’s in the truck,” Henry rolls his eyes. “Let’s get going.”

You edge up and kiss his nose, making him grin. He rubs his nose against yours, and for some reason, this makes your heart swell. You have always been one for the little things-random snuggles and touches as if he can’t keep his hands off you, making you feel like you are loved and treasured. And when you do it to him, you watch his eyes light and spark, sometimes a small smile tugging at those kissable lips of his that is just as good as him walking over and kissing you literally. You love him. So much. You drop your gaze shyly. “We’d better get going.”

He lets you go slowly. “You won’t always get away that easily, kitten.”

You get goosebumps but manage a smile, walking out. He follows you out and you all head to the truck. He hands Stuart a case of beer, hands you and Stella appetizer plates, and then takes the case of wine for himself. You make the walk to the set, sounds of laughter and music become closer as you get closer.

Dusk closes in on the place, and it looks magical. Small torches are set on every reachable flat surfaces, giving it a surreal feel-tribal and primitive. You feel like you could possibly be in Hunger Games.

People gather on the bridge and platforms, eating food and milling about talking. One platform becomes a small dance floor, and people look on and watch. You feel Henry put his arms around your waist and you lean back into him, reveling in the feel of his body against yours, his arms around you. You both wore jackets, but he is what warms you against the night.

You go dance with some of the actors, while Henry and Kal watch you. You keep looking at him, wishing he would dance, but you are happy he encourages you to go ahead without him. You are twirled and swayed as the music plays, but your eyes are for him. When the music changes, you get off the floor and sit in his lap, a little breathless, but once again, enjoying his arms encircling you.

“You’re a really good dancer,” he nods.

“The school I went to required we learn the basics,” you nod. “It was a lot of fun-“ You hear your name called, and see Stella waving from the food and drinks table with Stuart. “Be right back--”

He catches your hand. “Remember—”

“No drinking,” you say softly. Even though you are not sure you are pregnant, he has decided to err to the side of caution, making you wonder what he has been thinking. You open your mouth to ask, think better of it, and kiss him before heading over to see Stella. “Hey!”

“Hey!” Stella smiles, standing in her white shirt with an “S” on it. “Think you can man the table for me? Stuart wants to dance.” You look at Stuart, who is in a grey shirt and with a black “P” on it, smiling at their light grey caps.

“Sure, go ahead.” You watch them in their salt and pepper costumes and begin to serve food and drinks to people. You pour yourself a elderberry juice with Dry London Spirit, smiling at the mix in your cardboard cup, and take a sip. You smile at them, and then see Cynthia.

You go to Cynthia at the end of the table. “Hey!”

“Hey!” Cynthia says. “How’s it going?”

“Okay,” you grin. “Stuart and Stella look really nice out there.” You wave at them and they wave back.

“They’re cute,” Cynthia shrugs.

“Something I can get you?” You ask.

“Sure.”

You serve her food and a small wine.

“Thanks.”

“Sure thing,” you nod, seeing Hannah and Archer come. “Hey guys!”

“Hey!” Hannah waves.

The dark shirts and khakis made you guess.  “Let’s see…Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable?”

“Oh, my God!” Hannah’s eyes widen. “You got it!”

“I liked the show when I was a kid,” you shrug.

Archer nods impressed with your answer and gives Hannah a look. “I’ll let you girls chat.” He leaves you two alone at the table, and you give a polite smile. You haven’t had kind words in some time.

“Hey,” Hannah greets. “Working the party?”

“Yeah,” you shrug. “I told Stella if she needs a break, let me know.”

“But you’re not with catering,” Hannah points out.

“This party isn’t like that,” you nod. “You didn’t bring anything?”

“Oh, I brought candy,” Hannah said with a smile. “Easy stuff.”

“Oh, okay.” You see Cynthia wave you over. “Did you want anything?”

“Just beers,” she shrugs.

You walk over to the cooler and get the beers.

“Thanks,” she smiles a little. “I…I just wanted to say I’m sorry about…the Henry thing. He really, really likes you.”

“Thanks,” you tell her. “I kinda miss our art sessions.”

She laughs softly. “Yeah, I still would love to illustrate a book you write someday.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that,” you say. “but, you and Archer are—”

“He’s a really good guy,” Hannah nods. “I mean, some people act like they like you and they don’t, you know?” Her look is meaningful as she says the words slowly. “He is really nice, but some people? No.”

You blink at this, frowning. “Hannah, what are you trying to tell me?”

Her eyes slide off to the dance floor where Cynthia, Stella and Stuart are dancing. They are all waving at you.

You feel your heart in your throat. “Hannah—” You turn to find her gone.

Stella and Stuart return, and you smile, still feeling shaken about Hannah’s warning. You and Stella have been tight almost all summer. The idea of her not really being a friend hurts. Cynthia’s a cool boss and Stuart you barely know.

You return to Henry with your drink and a paper bowl of water. “Here you go, Kal.” You set the bowl down, and sit on his lap.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing, just—” you shake your head. “God, I’m just being silly.”

“What is it?”

“Hold my drink,” you say. “Ladies room.”

“Okay,” Henry nods. “We’ll talk when you get back.”

“It’s silly—” you watch him slightly raise his eyebrow. “Okay, we’ll have a laugh.” You go to the bathroom and return.

“Well?”

“Strangest thing,” you say to him. “Hannah sounded like she was trying to warn me.”

“About what?” he asks with a slight frown.

“She apologized for being jealous and warned me about people pretending to like me.”

He exhales heavily. “Sounds—”

“It’s the way she said it, Dal,” you say softly. “Like she was warning me. And she looked at Stella, Stuart and Cynthia on the dance floor.”

“Well, that doesn’t help,” Henry thought aloud. “Are you sure she was looking at them and not someone else?”

“I don’t know,” you shake your head. You look down at Henry’s hand, which is holding an empty beer bottle. “Let me get you another one.”

“Thanks,” he smiles.

You rise and take the bottle to the garbage can, throwing it away, and getting a fresh bottle. You down your drink and get a bottled water for yourself.

As you approach Henry, it hits you. You suddenly don’t feel well, and it’s hard to breathe. Your steps slow, and Henry’s eyes widen. He stands, looking at you. You feel it, down your throat, the tightening. You didn’t taste it at first, but there it is, and it wasn’t there before:

Grapefruit.

You’re allergic to it…you’re terribly allergic to it. You usually can smell it before you consume it, stop yourself, but you didn’t. You feel your throat close, and you grab your throat, dropping the beer and the water. The beer bottle breaks and crashes on the stone floor. Henry races for you, and you hear a scream as you go down. The night is spinning as you struggle to breathe.

Henry goes into your leg pack as people crowd you.

“Is she okay?”

“What’s happening?”

“What’s going on?”

“Oh my God, get the doctor!”

“Get the doctor!” Henry orders. “NOW!” You feel a stab in your leg. “Come on, baby. Come on, I’ve got you…”

You vomit and feel yourself turned to your side, causing the crowd to make some sort of far away noises you can’t make out and then you are put on your back again. You see the sky. You see the trees. You feel your legs being lifted above your heart. You see people around you, looking upset or scared…Henry holding you…Stella in standing in shocked tears as Stuart holds her…Hannah shaking her head with her mouth covered while Archer looks at you, upset…Colin…frowning at you…then his eyes wander…to Cynthia, her expressionless face looking at yours as if waiting…but for what?

Henry shakes you slightly. “Don’t do that, don’t pass out…”

“Hen…ry…” But you can’t hold, even as you feel your throat start to open a little. You can barely breathe…

Thanks for the support...stay tuned, I won’t make you wait this time!

@mistress-of-ward  @nuggsmum  @messyinsomniacbookgirl  @jencanbeyouryengeralt  @sweetdreamsofgelato  @maryann84  @omgkatinka  @the-soot-sprite  @viking-raider  @keanureevesisbae  @henryobsessed  @summersong69 @kinbhot4henners  @sunshine96love  @michelehansel  @radofrivia  @thelastsock  @michelehansel  @tumblnewby @henryobsessed @defffcc  @tenaciousneckpartypainter  @rn7rocksn @mrskikkirazz  @daydreamin83  @ruthoakenshield  @musicartmayheminmyheart  @michelehansel  @tumblnewby  @henryobsessed  @defffcc @tenaciousneckpartypainter @rn7rocksn  @mrskikkirazz  @daydreamin83 @ruthoakenshield  @musicartmayheminmyheart  @mis-lil-red @kaatelyynn  @forallthebrokenheartedthings  @alphacancrii @liquorlaughslove @designerewriterchic @sofiebstar @tamychm  @nikkilynn303 @circesgirl @aaescritora @xoxohannahlee  

#henry cavill #henry caviill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill smut #henry cavill fluff #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x reader #superman #geralt

[unholyhelbig]

Based on the anon ask, prompt: “Aubrey Posen believed in lots of things, but love was not one of them. That is, until she met Emily.”

SEND ME PROMPTS HERE

Aubrey Posen believed in a lot of things. When she was ten years old, she started to believe in ghosts. Her mother was driving down a long-winded path and fog seemed to take up every inch of spare expanse that North Carolina had to offer. It was cliché, really. But the man she saw standing on the side of the road dressed in a slate grey uniform convinced her that ghosts were real, as real as the clothes on her back and the blanket that was covering her lap. She didn’t’ say a word, but she knew her mother had seen him too.

When she was sixteen she believed that things happened for a reason. A letter coming in the mail stating that her father was going back into the infantry. He would travel and see the world. He would write, and he would stop writing. And she would sit between her two older siblings, blindly reaching for their comforting touch when they got the news that he was coming home. But only to pack his things.

She crashed a car when she skidded on black ice at nineteen, learning to believe that it was okay to make mistakes. Her older brother pulling her into a minty embrace instead of screaming about his wrecked jeep. He wasn’t angry, instead, he squeezed her shoulders and hastily warned her never to scare him like that again.

Aubrey Posen believed in a lot of things, but love wasn’t one of them. That is until she met Emily.

She had felt the light like never before that day; a star that hung high in the sky pressing heated rays against exposed skin. It was a warmth that she couldn’t ignore, the atmosphere clear despite the musty scent of rain taking up home in her lungs. Aubrey loved the smell of the rain and the even sharper scent of incoming snow. That thankfully didn’t present itself this early into October.

Booths lined her on either side, some of them boasting signs that were carved expertly. They advertised peaches and corn. Sweetgrass baskets that had been so expertly woven in the spare time of their crafters. Aubrey bit into an apple, her teeth pressing past soft green flesh as sticky juices dripped down her chin. This was home, for her, this had always been home.

Aubrey didn’t’ miss the stuffy suits or the smog that coated New York Cities risen air. The cases that stacked against her desk were long forgotten as her mind buzzed with nothing other than making her way carefully through the farmers market. Everything was muted and enhanced all at once. She loved her visits home and loved the stillness of them even more.

“Oh, shi-“The voice pulled through the low buzz of the market, not many people looking up from examining their tomato’s, poking and prodding until it looked bruised enough to beg for a discount. But there she was, struggling to lift a case of mason jars from the back of a rusted old ford.

They dripped in a golden syrup, bubbles catching a certain aim of lighting from the very sun that warmed Aubrey’s cheeks. She could practically taste the sweet substance as it barely sloshed around. The booth simple stated: Honey. Little symmetrical combs were slathered in yellow at the corner of the board. It was simple, and at this rate, it was going to lose all of its merchandise.

“Here, let me help you,” She said.

Aubrey wasn’t one to rush towards a stranger. She wasn’t one to try and show off by lifting something that was a little too heavy, even for her. She could feel the subtle burn in her arms, and the moisture that collected against her collarbone. None of that could make up from the bright, almost impish, smile she received in return.

She set them down on the shaded countertop, rolling her shoulders back as she looked at the stranger. She was tall, even with mud-stained converse on, sporting a worn t-shirt and a flannel. The girl’s features were soft and kind, and damn, did they feel like the sun. The flower that bees were drawn to driven by the very nature instilled upon them.

“Thank you so much,” She panted, pulling the red baseball cap from her forehead, she dragged her forearm against it, smearing dirt and sweat. “You have no idea how much trouble I’d be in if I dropped those.”

“It was really no problem.” Aubrey just chuckled at the girl’s frantic words, she was still panting in the heat. Watching as the stranger ripped into the box that she had just set down. “What are you-?”  

“Here,” She produced an amber colored jar. “It’s on the house. Assuming that you actually like honey, this here is the best stuff. Homegrown. Well, home harvested.”

“Thank you,”

Aubrey absently ran her fingers over the printed label. It had that soft yellow background that her booth occupied. The same logo too, but up close, Aubrey could see the tiny script of Emily’s right above the bulky text. She glanced up, Emily suited her. She started to take the rest of the mason jars out of the cardboard box, humming along to an odd tune that the lawyer couldn’t quite place.

She walked away that day, the weighted glass of honey still prominent in her hand as she shifted its contents. There were little flakes of yellow pollen swimming in the stagnant warmth. A certain heat pressed against her abdomen, an odd place for the sun to reach, but she swallowed it back.

The coffee coated her throat, it’s bitter edge never too strong. Willow Heights was never known for an intoxicating brew. Instead, she settled for the burnt flavor and the washed-out white mugs that used to have logos sprawled against them. Now it was just little black spots where the paint hadn’t exactly faded yet.

Still, Aubrey gulped it down hungrily to wash away the taste of the pie that she had eaten, nothing but crumbs were left on her plate and the waitress dressed in a sickly mint green ensemble took that as enough of a sign to clear it and refill the mug with little conversation. She almost liked it that way, the quiet.

There was a mother watching her son destroy an ice cream Sunday in the corner of the diner. He was missing his mouth, coating his fingers in a sugary mess of black syrup and cherry juice. She winced at the thought of how sticky he would be, but the woman seemed not to fret too much. She gave her a knowing glance. It practically screamed kids will be kids.

There was, of course, the cook, but his focus was on spraying clean dishes in the back of the house. The waitress smacking her gum like the blood that rushed past Aubrey’s ears. It was rhythmic in a gross kind of way. The bell above the door was accompanied by the deadpan cold that ran through town when the sunset.

The girl from the farmers market.

It had in fact rained. She was quick to peel off her soiled jacket and hang it on the small coat rack by the door. An unused umbrella rested against the glass door frame. A missing cat poster with eminent water damage dog-eared at the excess of wind.  

“Hey, Em” The waitress mustered a sunny disposition. “The usual?”

“You bet,” She rubbed her hands together in the heat of the restaurant. Aubrey couldn’t help but stare, her expression was soft and captivating all at once. She had seen beauty before, really, she had. But Emily had a certain rawness like unsweetened honey. It was smooth but had a bitter kick that she craved the taste of. “Oh hey,”

Aubrey blinked dumbly for a second, licking her lips. They tasted burnt, the coffee still lingering as she registered that she was actually being spoken to. “Hi”

“Mind if I?”

Emily gestured to the stool next to hers. There were other seats available at the counter, but Aubrey had the feeling that if she had taken any of those, she would be caught staring violently at the girl. Not out of lust (Not entirely anyway) but out of pure captivation. She gulped down the sour taste in her mouth as she nodded.

The waitress eyed Aubrey as she set down a big glass of what smelled like root beer in front of Emily. The girl denied a straw before downing a quarter of it in one fail sweep.

“I’ve never seen you around before, stranger.”

“Stranger? Oh. I’m not from round’ these parts.”

She laid on the southern accent thickly, a hint of a smirk pulling at her lips. Emily seemed to redden at this. Aubrey supposed they did sound a little too dramatic for her taste, almost as if she could reach into her belt and find a pearl embossed pistol at the ready. All she would have to do is spin the barrel and hope she didn’t’ load it.

“Very funny,” Emily nudged her shoulder. She smelled like rain. “I just don’t know what a girl like you is doing in a town like this one.”

“I’ll have you know, I grew up here.” Aubrey straightened her back and raised her own mug to her lips, taking another long gulp of stale caffeine. “What gave it away?”

“That you haven’t been home in a long while?” Emily quirked a brow “No one in Willow Heights has a manicure.”

Aubrey’s grey stare flicked to her nails instinctively. They were painted in a nude color, but they had been done professionally. Half of her wardrobe was pressed and trimmed and tailored just to fit the standards of a courtroom. A small farming town like this one didn’t’ even have a nail salon. But Aubrey liked it that way.  

“You’re very observational for a beekeeper.”

“Thank you,” she straightened her stance, drawing in another gulp of her soda like the heat of the carbonation didn’t bother her at all. “You kind of have to in my position.”

Aubrey could only imagine. One false move and little insects with sharp stingers would find their way past a strong suited woman. It wasn’t like dealing with slimy defense lawyers who had slicked back hair and venom dripping past their teeth- no, this was something delicate.

The waitress chewed her gum silently as she set a large plate of chocolate chip waffles in front of Emily with some silverware. Whipped cream was stacked to the very top, a few strawberries made dents in the mountain. “Thanks, Erica!”

She hummed in response and filled up Aubrey’s cup once more, earning a grateful nod in response before she went back to playing some matching game on her phone. The mother in the corner of the diner hastily tried to wipe away the syrup on her sons’ fingers.

“Oh my god, how can you eat that?” Aubrey chuckled into her cup.

“What? You mean this?” She shoved a strawberry into her mouth, chewing happily “Easy. Breakfast for dinner is the best.”

Aubrey cocked a brow, sitting back in the bar stool as she watched the woman slather her food in a coat of maple before cutting it into small little pieces. Breakfast was something that was limited to a protein bar, lunch a lack-luster salad, and dinner was something from the vending machines at the office. Certainly not a mountain of cornstarch and syrup. Emily didn’t’ seem deterred in the slightest as she shoved her fork into the bite she had just cut.

“Open.”

It was a demand, not a question, Emily holding up the fork as she watched Aubrey expectantly. The blonde let out a heaving sigh, close to rolling her eyes as she leaned forward and took the bite that Emily so easily offered. She could barely stop the moan that slipped past her lungs, blood rising to her cheeks as she got a triumphant smile in return.

“The secret is the honey in the batter,” Emily wiggled in her seat, letting the fork drop onto the plate as she beamed “Technically it’s mine so I’m biased but-“

She was interrupted by a fit of giggles, her body turning to face Aubrey, almost completely. Emily beamed, covering her mouth to muffle a snort. “What? Seriously?”

“Nothing, it’s just” She leaned forward.

 This moment wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot. The chairs that they were sitting in creaked and groaned under their weight. The light in the far corner of the restaurant was buzzing away like the very moths that they attracted. The rain was pressing against the window and blurring the downtown streets. And Aubrey had whipped cream all over her nose.

“Here, let me get it.”

Emily’s touch was soft. Her fingers cold against Aubrey’s cheek as she brushed her thumb easily against the whipped cream on Aubrey’s nose. The sugary substance coated the pad of her finger. She brought it to her lips, licking it clean with a stray smile and a simple shrug.

“Thank you,” Aubrey rasped.

Aubrey Posen believed in a lot of things. The ghost that she saw on the side of the highway in North Carolina. The way her father still sent Christmas cards every other year, still containing blatant wishes and a twenty-dollar bill. How her older brother still laughed at the wrecked jeep that he let her borrow for one night too many.

Most importantly, Aubrey Posen believed in Emily.

The way she would tell the story of how they met for years to come. The box of honey would grow in size and the jars in weight. She would change the small storm outside to a monsoon and the kid in the corner digging into an ice cream Sunday had vanished altogether.

She had bought Emily a bouquet of sunflowers. Then a waffle maker, even a dog. But the most important thing was a ring. A simple gold band with two green stones and a flashing diamond. Because she made Aubrey believe enough to drop down to one knee, to envision a future never imagined.

Yeah, Aubrey Posen believed in a lot of things, but love was not one of them. That is until she met Emily.    

#Emily Junk #Aubrey Posen #Fanfiction #request #junksen #ask

[artificialqueens]

Dragometry Circa 1979 ~ Hobnob

AN: Ive been doing very successful things in 6th form and I’m a very successful student. As such i dropped english lit and took art instead. my passion for writing left me, but came back when i was looking at my dog sleep. He looked soft and i thought if he can do it, so can i. My friend mentioned in art how she ate a shroom once, and she forgot who she was for a bit and had a panic attack. I thought that sounded wicked and I wanted to embody that in this fic. Thanks Sarah

~Hobnob

Chi Chi dipped her hands in her pockets and turned them inside out. Alas, there was no cash to be found. Only some dead flies and a used condom.

Just her luck. She had no way of paying the rent and it was due in tomorrow! She continued to walk down the streets of Camden disappointedly.

Just then her train of thought was broken by the local newsboy.

“Extra extra! Read all about it! Daily mail halfa shilling!” Little Bendela yelled in his school uniform.

Chi Chi approached him but in a non predatory way because she didn’t mess around with little kids like that.

“What’s in the news today little boy?” She asked, spitting on the floor.

“Im 26 ma'am” He answered in a cockney tone, his little red cheeks growing hot with rage.

“You’ll use no such tone with me boy!” Chi Chi said slapping the twat. “I’ll have a paper please.”

Little boy Bendelacreme sobbed and handed over the paper. Chi Chi opened it up and could barely believe what she was seeing.

“Blimey! A battle of the bands today with a cash prize of 100,000 quid!!” She exclaimed dropping into a perfect split in joy.

“Oo aye right you are mista! Down at the old theatre where all those donkeys were found!” Bendela added.

An idea formed in Chi Chi’s mind. The amount of rent she had to pay happened to be exactly 100,000 pounds conveniently enough.

“You know what? I’m going to enter!”

Ben began bursting into laughter as his little round face lit up with glee. “Oho thats a gaff if i ever did hear one! Everyone knows ur tone deaf miss Devayne, ever since you exploded that donkey.” He chuckled, wiping away a salty tear.

“Shut the fuck up.” Chi Chi said, slapping the cunt again to put him in his place. “You’ll speak when told to boy.”

“Even if you wanted to enta miss Devayne, yous need three or more band members. You know, like the Beatles and such.” Ben said whilst on the floor in agony clasping his face.

“Three or more members hm?” She said, scratching her stubble. “Fancy joining my band?”

“No can do, i gots to sell all these papers or my mum won’t let me in the house. Good luck miss.” He responded, already halfway down the street in fear of getting another beating. Silly silly little boy.

“UR MUMS A FILTHY SKETT GET BACK HERE.” Chi Chi shouted at him as he ran. It was no use. He was gone faster than Lance Armstrong on steroids.

Even Bendelacreme being a little batty crease couldn’t dampen her mood at this point. She was ready to win that battle of the bands with a total bop of a song.

She would create the next Oasis, the next Blur, the next Smashmouth.

But first she needed bandmates…

Just then she spotted Britney Spears vouging down the street looking like a complete plebb. It was better than nothing.

“Oi Britney! Yeah get over here!”

“My names Derrick” the blonde said, making her way over.

“Want to be in my band?”

“Lol Sure”

Disgusting. She was perfect. She wasn’t visibly on any heroin, and had shopping bags from tesco, so she wasn’t on benefits either.

“Sick, you’re going to play synth.”

“Like fuck i am.” Derrick said, embroiled with rage. “I was classically trained on the guitar.”

Chi Chi raised her mighty hand in slapping formation to Derrick. She needed to be taught some manners.

“YOULL PLAY syNTH WANKSTAIN.”

Derrick nodded before snatching the paper for herself. There it was. Right next to the article about the Piers Morgan donkey scandal. In big bold comic sans spelt ‘Battle of the bands.’

“Fat chance of us entering with two members.” Derrick roared.

“I’m working on it ffs get off my back.” Chi Chi screamed.

Just then she felt her tummy rumble. It was a deep and low rumble, akin to that of a barking dog, or even perhaps even a bin lorry driving by in the early hours of the morning.

Yes, Chi cHi was hungry. But she didn’t have any money. She spent her last paycheck on a lotto ticket.

“Let’s discuss this over a hearty Nando’s shall we?” she said, slapping Derrick on her manly toned back. “You’re paying.”

Derrick threw the paper to the floor. “I can’t pay. I spent all my money on Xanax and Tesco’s. All i got is a quid.”

She was right. A quid isn’t Nando’s money. Its Pick and Mix money at best. She’d just have to think of something fast.

“Lets beg like in oliver twist.” Chi Chi suggested. Derrick seemed to agree, but maybe that was because she threatened to beat her up earlier.

Just then Chi Chi set her eyes on someone walking down the street. Quick as a monkeynut with a jackhammer she made her way over to the individual and held out her hands.

“Please sir, can i ave’ some more?” Chi Chi said sadly, some eye infection goo coming out of her eyes instead of tears.

The individual looked confused for a moment, then got a ladle of porridge from her handbag and dropped it wetly into her hands.

“What the fuck it this. I didn’t want porridge did i, I wanted some money or something.”

“Oh sorry lol” the stranger offered taking back the porridge for later. “I don’t own any money at the moment. Teresa May and all.”

Chi Chi nodded agreeingly. “In that case do you want to join our band?”

The stranger nodded and sealed the deal with a wicked fistbump.

“My names Naysha Lopez. Synth extrordanair.”

“Your going to be on synth.”

“Well yes i just said-”

Chi Chi slapped her hard in the face in a fit of fury. Her word was law. She was the big dog.

“Aight we’re ready to rock. Let’s go back to my place.”

Derrick and Naysha nodded, getting into her 2003 Volkswagen that Chi Chi won in a game of chess.

The van was full of hippy shit. Fuckugly tie dye shirts, 42 vinyl albums of the Stone Roses, and a massive bong full of old weedwater.

“First we need to get our looks right.” Derrick suggested, taking out a large pair of scissors and hacking at her hair.

“And what we’re going to play.” Naysha added, beating out a mad eurobeat synth solo.

“Lads.” Chi Chi stopped them both, raising her hands. “Its not about how you look or sound.” She said sincerely, patting Derrick on the shoulder. “It’s about how much acid you take.”

She took out a small plastic bag with three tabs of acid, passing them out. They each popped the paper on their tongues and felt it dissolve.

“Alright now we’ve done that we should really figure out what we’re going to play.” Naysha said, picking the synth back up.

“How about we theme the song around the hardships of love.” Derrick said, sitting on a beanbag surrounded by her own hair.

“We-lets…lets wait like…half an hour. you’ll have better ideas.” Chi Chi added, taking a massive rip out of the dirty bong.

Half an hour later after hotboxing the camper van Chi Chi looked at her Casio sports watch.

“Oh dude the battle of the bands is in half an hour.”

“Shiit” Derrick said, her jaw hanging slack. “So what about if we came out on the stage in-in like picture this. We come out in geometrical shape costumes.”

“Yeah like Dragometry.” Naysha added, unable to move her head.

“Oh yeah meta..” Derrick nodded, writing it down, except the pen she was using was a cheese string and there was no paper.

“I have some old Capri Sun multi pack boxes in the back, let’s go out completely naked covered in those.” Chi Chi said, snapping her fingers.

Everyone clapped for the sheer excellence of that very notion. Around ten minutes later they were all naked and covered in Capri Sun boxes.

“Oh man.” Derrick said poking Nayshas body that was now unconscious on the floor. “Nayshas passed out and the battle of the bands is in like 20 minutes.”

“Yeah just like…” Chi Chi rubbed her finger over Derricks mouth in a shushing motion. “Just like i saw in um…nature shows, you pour water in their mouths and they’re fine…so…”

Derrick nodded taking a half empty Capri Sun and pouring it into Nayshas mouth. It began to bubble as Naysha hacked and coughed it out.

“Aaah there she is. Party animal.” Chi Chi laughed. “Alright let’s write a song.”

“I was thinking, we sing about the shapes we are, and sing about societal struggles and riots in london and an unfair corrupt justice system.” Naysha said swallowing the gargled Capri Sun and getting off the floor.

“I’m liking the first bit, like shapes and shit.” Chi Chi said, igniting the engine of the car and speeding away. “Were probably ready i think lets go perform.”

“You just hit a little boy selling papers back there.”

“Nah dude ur tripping.” Chin Chin said turning on the windshield whispers to get the blood off.

When they finally arrived after driving down the A38 the battle of the bands was underway. The entrance was bustling with people eager to see the peformances.

As the trio made their way through the crowd they got some funny looks, but maybe because they were wearing cardboard boxes and were sticky from Capri Sun juice.

Once they got to the bouncer he stopped them from getting through with a grunt.

“Oi leds, restricted area, bands only.” He said in a thick nothern tone.

“Oh? Haven’t you heard?” Chi Chi spoke confidently, her eyes facing different directions due to all the acid. “We’re the new band on the block!”

The bouncer simply shook his head.

“Oive never seen yous before. Whatre you’re names?”

They all pondered for a second before Naysha snapped her fingers.

“We’re Dragometry, the geometric power trio unsatisfied with social injustice.” She said proudly burping halfway through her sentence.

The bouncer looked stunned for a moment before nodding. “Meta…” he said letting them all through.

When they got inside they could scope out the competition. It seems the entirety of Camdens music scene had gathered to win that 100,000 quid.

As they made their way inwards they were stopped by a group of angry looking new yorkers.

“Oh looky here lads, what do we gots.” One of them said, cracking their knuckles.

“Looks likea buncha whimps to me!” Another one said snickering.

Naysha burst out in tears. Chi Chi had to do something for the credibility of her band!

“We’re only the greatest musicians since Cher Loyd.” She retorted with her quick drug induced whit. “Who are you?”

The three new Yorkers struck a dynamic pose and exclaimed in unison.

“We are Street Meats! Betty, Bob and Thorgy!!!”

“Gay.” Derrick said, picking some broccoli out of her teeth.

“Alright well, later lads.” Chi Chi said, pushing past the entitled fuckers. Bloody Americans.

“Not so fast!!” Bob said, grabbing her by the shoulders. “This is our turf, see? And we don’t take too kindly to people trying to get our 100,00 dollars!”

“Fuck i left the engine on.” Chi Chi said, turning to Naysha.

“We have a little bet to propose.” Thorgy said, taking out a hostage from her guitar case. “Win and we’ll leave forever. Loose…and we’ll kill this hostage.”

Derrick poked the hostage in the belly and scratched her stubble in consideration.

“Mmmmmm” She said, thinking hard. “…N-…..n…..hmmmmm. No.”

“Oh?” Acid betty said chuckling manically. “Did we forget to mention the hostage happens to be…THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND?”

“SHIIIT” Chi Chi bawled, sobbing into her hands.

“C-challenge accepted.” Naysha said, her eyes beginning to well up. “Don’t worry your majesty…we’ll get you out of this…” she said holding the queens wrinkled hands.

“Oi thanks lads.” The queen responded. Adjusting the crown on her head.

Just like that Thorgy stuffed her back in his guitar case and threw it into the coat room.

“Good luck ladies.” Bob chuckled, fist bumping Acid Betty as they walked away.

Things had just gotten serious. Now the common wealth was in their hands. Chi Chi felt sick.

“What are we going to do?” Derrick cried. His hands were shaking.

She took a deep breath and stood up straight, adjusting her cardboard box.

“I’ll tell you exactly what we’re going to do. We’re going to win this fucking battle of the bands, and then we’re going to be knighted by the queen of England, thats what we’re going to do.” Chi Chi said in a confident voice.

With newfound confidence the trio patted each-other on their naked sweaty backs. The first band had just begun to play. Les Chicken Wings they called themselves.

They were pretty sick ngl. A bit like The Clash but with cross dressers.

“BUY OUR VYNIL IN THE BACK.” The lead vocalist screamed once the band finished up. Chi Chi turned around and there stood Little boy Bendelacreme selling vinyls!

“Oh shit what happened to you.” She asked, grimacing at his horribly mangled body.

“I was left disfigured when you ran me over earlier. Would you like to buy a vinyl?” He said, holding out a disk in his bloodied hands.

Chi Chi flicked a shilling in his direction and took one.

“Lighten up miss Chi Chi! You look awful nervous.”

“I suppose you could say that.” She admitted, looking at the floor and shuffling her feet.

“Wotts wrong?”

“Well i managed to get a band together but instead of practicing we went back to my van and took acid so now we’re wearing cardboard boxes and we don’t have a song to perform, and if we fuck up the queen of England dies.”

“Hmmm, i think i saw this on an episode of friends once!” Ben said cheerily, his broken bones making a crunching noise as he smiled. “Joey told Chandler to believe in himself, and everything turned out aight.”

Chi Chi nodded. “Yeah.” She said under her breath.

She just needed to believe in herself. She had the music in her. If she didn’t give up she’d win the battle of the bands for sure.

“Thats right Chi Chi, believe in yourself.” A mystery voice said. She looked up.

Bloody hell! It was the Beatles! Here to perform for the whole of Camden!

“John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, What are you doing here?” She said excitedly.

“We’re here to tell you to never give up.” John said in a liverpoolian accent.

“Yeah, you can do it.” Ringo said, smiling.

“Thanks the Beatles! I won’t let you down!”

“Yeah, its like we say in Yellow Submarine, “Rah, rah, ah, ah, ah, roma, roma, ma. Gaga, ooh, la, la… want your bad romance.” Paul added, patting Chi Chi on the shoulder.

“Now go out there and sing! Sing like the commonwealth depends on it!” George said inspiringly.

Chi Chi was ready. She heard somebody call them to the stage. Grabbing her synth she felt her fingers trembling.

Showtime.

She looked at her bandmates.

Derrick was holding the synth upside down.

Nayshas costume had fallen off do she was completely naked.

They were ready.

They each played the opening chords and leaned into the microphones.

“We are the girls of Dragometry. All shapes and sizes are what we bring” Each of them sang in harmony, feeling the rhythm and LSD run through their veins.

“Rectangle girls of the world” they yelled, feeling their metaphorical oats.

“Around every girl, in a circle I run You can be square, hon, but don’t be a nun” Naysha said into the mic, shining like the star she was.

“We just wanna celebrate. No matter the size, no matter the shape!”

The rest of the performance went pretty stellar in Chi Chis opinion. She came up with a particularly good line about being a bumblebee, and Derrick was bopping out like it was nobodies business.

The performance concluded.

Silence filled the room.

There was a moments pause as the audience was stunned. It was as if the spirit of Freddy Mercury had possessed them all on stage and caused them to create the single most amazing tune in the world.

“You guys suck wang!!” A member of the audience shouted, as the crowd began to boo.

What?

The booing continued. How could that be? They created a total bop!

“Hey look! Their music killed John Lennon!” Another audience member yelled.

Chi Chi looked over to a very dead John foaming at the mouth twitching on the floor.

“They killed a member of the Beatles. Kill them! Blood for blood!!!” The crowd yelled, throwing empty bottles at Kopparberg at the trio.

They dodged the bottles and swiftly ran backstage and sighed together.

“I don’t get it. I thought that went well.” Chi Chi said sadly, throwing her cardboard box to the ground in defeat.

“I thought my stepford wife line was sick.” Derrick said sadly.

“I did too! And that circle thing Naysha said was totally tubular.” Chi Chi agreed.

They all sat down on the floor waiting for their inevitable demise. The audience would find a way backstage and shank them all to death for sure. Plus the Queen of England was probably going to die, and they lost the bet against Street Meats.

Soon enough they all heard banging on the door and angry yells. This was the end.

“It was good doing acid with the two of you.” Chi Chi said, holding both their hands.

“Yeah, thanks for seeing past the fact i look like Britney spears.” Derrick replied, squeezing her hand.

“And thanks for saving me earlier when i was passed out.” Naysha smiled sadly, still fully naked.

They all sat together and accepted their fate.

Just before they were mobbed by angry fans, a woman appeared in front of them.

Jesus! It was Debby Harry!

“Hey buckos” she said lighting a ciggy.

“Blondie? What are you doing here?” Chi Chi gasped, standing up in shock.

“I’m here to tell you to never give up fuckheads. That performance out there was absolutely shocking, but you still have a chance at saving the Queen.”

They all looked at their feet sadly.

“It’s no use world famous singer Debby Harry, if we go out there, we’ll be killed.” Naysha cried, wiping away some eye infection goo.

Debby slapped her hard in the face.

“You know. I used to go out on stage off my tits on LSD, stumbling around, saying nonsense about bumblebees. But i never gave up. Soon i moved on to singing about hearts of glass and it was lit. Everybody loved it.” Debby said with wisdom and a knowing look.

“Get out there and give them an encore they’ll never bloody forget!!”

Filled with newfound confidence the trio cheered and high fived. Blondie had given them the courage to go back out there.

They got back on stage and Chi Chi grabbed a mic.

“There they are!!” An angry hipster yelled.

“Kill them!” Another roared.

“Wait wait.” Chi Chi hushed them, raising her hands. “You see those people over there?” She continued, pointing over to Street Meats who were leaning against the wall eating mini sausage rolls.

“They have the Queen of England in their guitar case!!” Naysha said as Street Meats started to look panicked. “They said they would kill her if we didn’t win!”

The crowds attention turned from Dragometry to Bob Acid and Thorgy. They circled the guitar case slowly.

“Look- we can explain.” Bob began, backing away.

But it was too late. They unzipped the case and the Queen fell out. She got up and looked around.

“Wait a minute…” an audience member said, leaning in to examine her face. “This isn’t the Queen!!!”

Muttering and mumbles erupted in the room as somebody moved forward and pulled off the queens wig and crown.

“Jesus christ!! It’s Bono!!”

Bono escaped through the door like a startled deer into the woods. Fuck.

“Nobody cares about Bono. GET DRAGOMETRY!!”

Another bottle was thrown at Chi Chi, then another. The last thing she remembered was Paul McCartney hitting her directly in the forehead with a bottle of Carling.

Then complete blackness.

-

A few hours pass.

She feels comfort under her heavy body.

And a sharp pain in her forehead.

As Chi Chi opens her eyes she’s greeted to Little boy Bendelacreme in a well lit room with white walls.

“Ben??” She says weakly. “Where am i?”

“Ayup miss Devayne! Your in hospital. Bottle got you in the head i say. Right in the noggin.”

Chi Chi was confused. She turned her head and saw the three remaining Beatles standing over her bed looking apologetic.

“Yeah, sorry Chi Chi, we shouldn’t of lashed out like that.” Ringo said, his massive nose drooping with sadness.

“But i killed John.” Chi Chi said sadly.

“Nah, it was a drug overdose. Nothing to do with you at all!”

They all laughed together in unison. What a funny coincidence!

But Chi Chi couldn’t hear the laugh of her two best friends, Derrick and Naysha. She frowned again, rubbing her forehead. She feared the worst

“Where are my bandmates?” She asked, almost scared to get a response.

Bendelacreme took of his hat and held it to his chest, looking down to the floor.

“No idea I’m afraid.” George admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “Maybe they…managed to escape.”

Chi Chi liked that idea…but no. Her friends were gone. Probably trampled to death. She felt a great gap in her heart where her two best friends in the world used to be.

But for now, she was just grateful to be alive in a warm hospital bed, knowing that the Queen of England was completely safe.

She remembered what Naysha said at the end of their number.

Thank you, thank you.

Be different.

love yourself.

Love yourself.

#hobnob #chi chi devayne #naysha lopez #derrick barry #bob the drag queen #thorgy thor #acid betty #bendelacreme #rpdr fanfiction #submission #crack fic #s8

[jkwontravels]

San Francisco, CA

Out of all my travels, San Francisco came closest to how I feel about New York. It runs on a diluted version of NY's energy - not quite powerful enough to light up the city 24/7, but has enough juice to get a good taste. And like NY, it's strategically divided into neighborhoods blossomed to match the quirks of each aspiring crowd. All are gathered to take advantage of a city-driven life, but separated by a sea of health-crazed juice shops, tall tech headquarters, semi-warm beaches and various homeless shelters. If given the chance, I could probably find a quaint little block to call home for a few years.

In my narrow-minded brain, I imagined a sunny California, but SF rarely gets warm, especially in the summer. According to my SF resident friend. I was greeted with chilly winds, blowing me to the other side of the street where the sun occasionally graced its warm rays over me. When I wasn't chasing the sun, I was dodging flying trash, homeless people puking and random whiffs of poop sneaking its way up my nose. But coming from the big apple where chaos and dirt rule, I put on my best city mindset and searched for something that I could appreciate.

That’s the thing about cities. Understanding the unfiltered mess of it all requires you to hunt for something to love. Otherwise, you'll wonder what you missed out on that everyone else found so beautiful. And SF was beautiful. It offered unique foods, approachable nightlife, mixed cultures and incredible views. This may sound insignificant, but it's so rare to find a city that can capture opposing elements in one glance, like distant mountains peeping between skyscrapers. Or palm trees in the financial district. What I once considered a tropical element associated with vacation getaways, were planted casually amongst the most industrial and corporate area.

Since it was my first time in SF (and in California), I had an extremely tourist driven agenda - covering my bases from the Golden Gate Bridge to Fishermans Wharf. Thankfully, my friend Katie had been living there for 2 years and knew the ropes as she led me on this journey. So thank you lady. This trip is dedicated and in thanks to you. Nothing beats a good friend like an organized type a friend ;)

Here's the breakdown of my trip starting with food from highest recommended to still recommended:

Brenda's French Soul Food - ever heard of French Soul Food? Me neither. That's because you never (or rarely) encounter a restaurant trying to fuse one of the most highly regarded type of fine cuisine with soul-comforting southern food. The food definitely skews more towards southern, but the 30 minute wait was well worth it. Shrimp grits yall. Shrimp grits.

Bobs donuts - I might be biased cuz I came here after a drunken night out at 1am, but regardless, it's still a great donut shop. The classic glazed was my favorite - light, airy and homemade.

Bite - I'm a sucker for sandwiches so this made the top of my list. Rotisserie chicken in a sandwich with gouda cheese?! Yes please. You can smell the rotisserie as you approach the store. I challenge you to not walk in.

Humphry Slocombe - the flavors alone were enticing enough for me. A few that caught my eye: Far West Fungi Cap, Olive Oil + Rhubarb, Matchadoodle, etc. I sampled a few but secret breakfast was my favorite.

Mr Holmes Bakehouse - there's a lot of hype around this place but I have to give it to them. The lemon donut was fantastic. I could probably lick a tub of that tangy cream.

In and out - it was my first time, but if you've been, skip. There are too many great restaurants to waste your time here. But if you haven't been, it's worth the trip for the burger. The fries are dead cardboard.

Blue bottle - you just have to. And don't you dare put milk or sugar.

Trish's Donuts - miniature funnel cake type of donuts. Best when freshly out of the fryer and tossed in sugar.

Tacorea - Korean Mexican fusion. Not mind-blowingly delicious, but if you throw tater tots and Korean-style meat together with cheese, then yes, 80% chance I'll like it.

Destinations from highest recommended:

Golden Gate Bridge - iconic and beautiful as everyone says. The color was petitioned for so admire its orange hue whenever you lay eyes on it. Beats dull grey for sure.

Bakers beach - warm sand, cold waters, sand slides, a view of the bridge and a few naked butts. Yes, there are nude men on one end of the beach. The other end is filled with crowds of bass-playing millennials, families with kids and tween couples. Pick your poison.

Ferry building - a big gourmet food market comparable to Chelsea market in NYC. Grab a cone of humphry’s, walk the pier and enjoy the view of the bay Bridge. You're welcome.

Fishermans Wharf - true to its name, this is your go-to destination if you're thinking about chowder, lobster rolls and all things seafood. But be aware, Madame Tussauds is nearby so this is a major tourist attraction. Stop by boudin bakery for animal-shaped breads or just stare through the window like I did. No shame.

Pier 39 - located in Fishermans Wharf, this pier is home to a merry-go-around, Trish's Donuts, seafood restaurants, sea lions and day drinking.

Off the grid in the summer - a "food truck" festival on a patch of green grass where families gather for level 100 picnics. I mean tents, full spreads, ice boxes packed with alcohol, lounge chairs and grills. San Franciscans don't take picnics lightly.

Ghiradelli Square - a small area home to ghiradelli's store/restaurant (free chocolate samples when you walk in) and small boutique stores selling overpriced gems.

City Lights Booksellers - charismatic bookstore with perfect lighting for that insta.

Lombard Street - a pretty windy road. Not sure what the hype is though. Expect tourists.

Washington Square Park - ordinary park that I decided to include because it reminded me of the one in ny. It doesn't compare.

Bars:

Harper & Rye - poppin bar filled with singles ready to mingle. Everyone is getting drunk, but no one is dancing. The drinks are decent but pricey.

Marengo on the Alley - a more professional bar for those after work drinks.

Most of the spots above are within a tight vicinity so if you're feeling determined, you can walk. Being a native New Yorker, I thought this would be a piece of cake, but my calves were not ready for all the hills. I was sore because I’m a weakling, but any fit amateur is capable.

I also spent a day in Napa/Sonoma touring 3 wineries. A blog post on that will soon follow... 

#blog #blogs #blogging #sanfrancisco #sanfran #san francisco #sf #tour #tourist #Tourism #tips #travel #travel tip #travel tips #recommended #california #traveling

[sabreean]

Plastic free personal care:

Hair: This is a major category for me because I have a horse’s mane - 2 1/2 feet long, baby-fine but as thick as any 2 or 3 other people combined. — As soon as the current bottle is empty I will switch to bar shampoo. Many companies make bar shampoo and conditioner so there are a lot of naked products to choose from, and I mean a LOT, so making a decision took a long time and a lot of reading. myHumankind makes some, so does Sheets, but I have decided to try Ethique. They offer mini bars for sale so you can give them a try first and are the perfect size for traveling, they sell plastic-free compostable shower storage boxes for the full size bars (the boxes last about 5 years before they start to break down) and they have unscented. I received my Bar Minimum mini today and may hair feels very clean. It didn’t lather up as much as bottle liquid shampoos but maybe it isn’t supposed to. The Ethique web site says that it will “foam” but that wasn’t my experience. Eh, whatevs, it worked. They also have a purple bar set, for us blondes and silvers, and I don’t think *any* other brand makes that in bar/naked form. —I can’t use bar conditioner, I just have too much hair. But Ethique makes concentrates of many of their products - large bars that can be melted with boiling water into a cream/liquid and stored in whatever bottle is already sitting around. So I am going to try their conditioner concentrate when the current stuff is used up and just reuse the bottle that’s in the shower now. —I keep a small container of dry shampoo handy because the crown of my head needs washing a lot more often than is good for the length of my hair. I’m light blonde so the dry shampoos that lighten your hair don’t look weird but that’s a consideration for people with darker hair, and some brands make dry shampoos specifically for darker hair or claim that their all-for-one won’t make you the Bride of Frankenstein. I have Billie right now (two shades available, for light or dark hair, unscented) which comes in a plastic bottle, but only because I got a sweet discount on it with my first Billie razor set and I hadn’t yet gotten on the zero waste wagon. In a pinch, if you have light hair or don’t care about the lightening, you can just use cornstarch. It’s cheap, it’s in every store, it comes in a cardboard box and it’s the main ingredient of some dry shampoos anyway. But looking for an alternative to the Billie has shown that all-natural dry shampoos are more prevalent than I would have suspected. I even found a zero waste, unscented one that’s made here in Hawaii! — Two reasons to hope I love Ethique’s products: they have pet products. And they are a certified B Corp whose business practices and ethics kick the ass of pretty much any other company out there, maybe even Lush. They tick hippie boxes I didn’t know existed. — If I need to set my hair, I use aloe vera juice. If I need to slick it down I use conditioner. If I need to deep condition it, I use whatever oil is within reach. Heat never touches it. The only hair products in my home are shampoo and conditioner. It’s 2 1/2 feet long, “styling” ain’t something that happens here. It braids, it barrettes, it buns, it tails. So while there may be all natural, zero waste styling products out there, I don't use them. Maybe I'll do a whole separate article some day just to point the way but I won't have dick to say about them.

Deodorant: I don’t sweat much and BO has never been a problem - until now. I am going through it at three times the rate I did before. I have a mini unscented deodorant bar in my Ethique sample pack but the full size is a block that requires an airtight container they don’t sell, and a good number of reviewers reported it leaving white streaks on their clothes that don’t wash out. I just used it for the first and I’m wearing a sleeveless dress so I can’t speak to streaks, but it has a pasty consistency that means you have to wash your hands after using. So…probably not going to go with the full size, as much as I want to love Ethique. I ordered the full size Native unscented deodorant, which is a stick in a paper tube that you push up from the bottom, just like that orange treat you got from the ice cream truck when you were a kid). Sheets has the same but not unscented. myHumankind makes unscented but are currently sold out except to current subscribers who just need refills whereas I’d be a first time buyer, and anyway their dispenser contains a little bit of plastic which ain’t no thang if your community has recycling. Ours doesn’t, so I think I’ll stick with the paper tubes. -- Some brands make powders which I’ve tried and while they can be messy, they work. Other brands make pastes that come in glass jars and you apply with some spatula-like thing, but I can’t get excited about schmearing myself like a bagel. As with hair you have a lot of options to work through if you want to go plastic-free or plastic-minimal. -- The obvious question is whether all natural deodorants work for people who sweat heavily and I really don’t know since I’m not one of those. I’ve read the reviews on all the brands I considered and the answer to that question appears to be much “Your mileage may vary”. Everybody's body chemistry is different so ever product performs differently. Some sites talk about "detoxifying" your pits but bitch, please.

Teeth: — When my current tube of Dr. Bronner’s runs out I will try myHumankinds tooth tabs. I used Lush’s tooth tabs for a long time and I think tabs are fantastic - you can put them in carryon luggage without doing TSA’s stupid human tricks and they take up much less space. Other brands make powders which like deodorant powders above can be messy. But read the ingredients if you go the powder route - some store brands are just flavored baking soda which still works well, but at 10x the cost of a box of Arm & Hammer and they can just fuck right off with that scam. Other brands make pastes that come in glass jars and I think I saw one brand that uses a tube made of sugarcane. Or maybe that was face moisturizer. I don’t remember now. — I’ve been using bamboo toothbrushes for over a year and the subscription option means it’s easy to ensure that you are changing out your toothbrush as often as your dentist lectures you about (I also have reminders on my calendar every three months to nudge). I use Brush With Bamboo brushes because the bristles are USDA certified as 100% biobased and am very happy with them. The bristles aren’t falling out and they are soft enough for tender gums. — There are also plenty of zero waste dental flosses and mouthwashes out there. I don’t use floss so can’t comment (flossing makes my gums bleed, has done so my entire life, even dental hygienists have a bitch of a time flossing me and give up quickly). I have used Lush mouthwash tabs and they work very well, I’m sure all the other do too. But I don’t feel a need to keep any on hand. I’ll update if I change my mind.

Skincare: — My current supply of face moisturizer will last me a good while but when it runs out, again, plenty of bar options and oh so many glass jar options, and a few brands use tubes made out of a sugarcane material. Finding a face cream your face loves is a trial-and-error pain in the ass, I may just default back to Lush even with the plastic pot. My skin loves Magical Moringa so much and it’s created to be matte, so I don’t have to worry about the island humidity leaving a shiny oil slick on my face. Plus it’s thick enough and ‘dry’ enough that it stands a far better chance of surviving shipping conditions than Lush’s other products. — I want to try Ethique’s body lotion concentrate when my jar of Queen Helene cocoa butter runs out but it will be hard to convince me that anything is better than the Queen. — My current shower soap is Lush and when they discontinued my favorite I loaded the hell up, so I won’t have to make a decision on that for months. I may just share my partner’s, it’s in a plastic bottle but I love its orangey scent. I use my shower gel to wash my face because it’s Lush so I don’t need a separate gentler face cleanser. But I did use the mini Bliss Bar that came today in my Ethique sample pack and my face likes it quite well so maybe I’ll stick with it. Finding a new face cleanser can also be a trial-and-error pain in the ass…um, cheeks… — I exfoliate my face and body by mixing sugar into my shower gel, on the rare occasions I feel the need for a face mask I use straight honey (creamed/whipped/spun if I can find it), and for toner I mix tea tree oil into witch hazel liquid. Sorry I don’t have any opinions on specialty products out there but for these three things I’ve always been DIY. The toner and honey mask are good options for people with acne because honey and tea tree oil are natural antimicrobials, if that helps ease your sense of loss.

Shaving: I’ve been using Harry’s safety razors for a few years because I did the math - the subscription safety razors live up to their press, you really do save a shit-ton of money over disposables and they work much better. I switched to Billie just before I moved to the island because of the magnetic razor holder that it comes with, and really that was the only reason for the switch, the razors are just as good (although I admit the differently shaped handle of the Billie is easier for me to handle without dropping). -- I use hair conditioner or shower gel to shave with so I can’t comment on shave-specific products that are plastic-free, although there are a lot out there to choose from. The only shave-specific product I’ve used is Cremo and I liked it very much but it comes in a plastic tube.

Lip balm: It’s in a plastic jar because that’s the only way I can get it but I use straight up 100% anhydrous lanolin (the thick stuff, not liquid). It works incredibly well, is unscented/unflavored, and doesn’t wash off too easily. I order it from bulk supply houses like LotionCrafter or Bulk Apothecary because much cheaper than buying it off the shelf at a store. To exfoliate my lips I mix sugar and just enough oil or honey to make a paste. I don’t know that any one oil is better than any other for this, I just use whatever I have around - almond, avocado, coconut, and there’s always olive in the kitchen.

Tools: I use myHumankind bamboo swabs and I love them! The stems are bamboo and the cotton organic. The stems are rigid and strong, the cotton is tightly wound, and both are very important now that I'm regularly gunking up my ears with salt and sand and water. They are going to be great for makeup if I ever get around to wearing any. Maybe in September when we take our long weekend on Maui. -- If I get to the point that I need cotton balls, which I haven't since I moved here, I would probably try the washable bamboo pads that so many places sell. I used cotton balls before because I just...always had them. It's one of those things you always kept in the bathroom because doesn't everybody and your mom always bought them so I did too. Weird how that works, ain't it?

Feminine hygiene: I'll be blunt, don’t ask me. I haven't had a period in well over a decade because I practice menstrual suppression. And I’m of croning age now so it will be a moot point before long. I can’t contribute to this conversation. Sorry.

#hippie #eco friendly #zero waste

[caramel-and-pine]

01 - End and Beginning

If David had known that was the last year of Camp Campbell he would have done some things differently. Surely he had enjoyed every day of that year with the same energy and joy he had all his life, but still, he had a few regrets. He wishes he had paid more attention before hiring Daniel, for example. He also wishes he had worked harder to give Preston a night at the Sleepy Peak theater or put more effort into building Nerri's cardboard tower.

All things considered, that had been a good year. Not so much that it was worthy of being the last but still very good.Truthfully, David has only one big regret about that year, and it boils down to he wishes he had been better to Max.

Max had been the most difficult camper ever, but David can't think of a person who has ever needed him more. Even now, ten years after the last night of Camp Campbell he still remembers, clear as day, the moment he decided that saving Max was more important than saving the camp. If he knew that he wouldn't be able to save Max for more than a mere few hours he would have made an extra effort to make him happier during the summer.

When David, Max, and Gwen returned to Camp Campbell after their escapade all the kids were gone.There was an official closing note taped to the door of the mess hall, probably left there by the Quartermaster before he too left. Max wasn't awake to see this, though, the day had been difficult and the ride on the car lulled him to sleep. As soon as they arrived David took him to the counselors' cabin and put him on his bed.

David didn't feel like sleeping that night but when he was about to leave Max the boy sleepily grabbed his wrist and didn't let go. The counselor laid down by Max's side, cradling the kid against his chest and watching the shadows move across the wall until the pale colors of dawn gifted him with some sleep.

When David finally woke up Max had rolled away from him on the bed so he silently moved away and into the mess hall. The sun was already completely above the horizon, and at that time the hall would be receiving the first campers for breakfast but that day only David and Gwen were there staring at the emptiness. There, alone, with the echo of the rising birds, they cried for the first time.

"What is wrong with me," questioned Gwen with a broken smile. "I kinda hated those little bastards but now I just want to see them again!"

"It is okay, Gwen," David squeezed her in a hug. "We will figure this out, the kids will be fine and so will we."

"Will we?" The tears still swam in her eyes but she was quick to dry her face with the back of her hand.

"I believe we will," David replied with a genuine smile.

"And what about Max?" Gwen's voice was very small when she finally gathered the courage to make the question.

David hesitated for a moment. The memory of Max's empty enrollment papers, the image of his green eyes full of tears, the rushed but tight hug he had given him, all of this created a jumble of thoughts and emotions inside David.

"We don't even have his last name on his papers," continued Gwen. "How will we contact his family, or, even more importantly, should we contact his family?" Her words were heavy with implications David didn't want to contemplate so early in the morning after so little sleep. As usual, he quickly tried to be optimistic.

"Max is an intelligent kid, he will help us figure this out."

"I will, and you shouldn't," Max's voice, still full of sleep, caught their attention as the boy made his way into the mess hall, Mr. Honey Nuts loosely held in a hug.

"Max?"

"You shouldn't call my family," Max clarified, "as I said before they don't care. You should call a social worker."

"Social worker?" David echoed numbly. "What happened to your family, Max?"

"They just don't give a shit, David," Max replied in his usual dry way. "My dad died in a car accident and my mother's new husband hates me, so you should call a social worker." Silence fell on the empty hall.

"Max, who enrolled you in Camp Campbell?" Gwen asked carefully after a long moment.

"I did it myself," Max's reply was muffled as he hid his face against Mr. Honey Nuts' plushy head. "I wanted an excuse to go away from home for a while, and honestly it sucks that even this blew."

David and Gwen exchanged worried looks but before any one of them could speak Max spoke again.

"David, I'm hungry. Can we have breakfast now?"

A smile formed on David's face.

"Oh we sure can, Max!"

The three of them joined in the kitchen to prepare a big breakfast of eggs and bacon – after all the pantry was full and with no more campers the food would spoil fast. While cooking, a strangely familiar atmosphere was created, a peacefulness that had David humming as he scrambled the eggs and neither Max nor Gwen complained about it. After some time they had a big pile of scrambled eggs at the center of the table, a dozen bacon strips on each one of their plates and tall glasses of cold grape juice set neatly in front of the window. The mood was light, especially considering how tense the previous night had been. David was rambling about random topics with Gwen and Max occasionally answering him, and despite the strange dynamics, all three were satisfied.

Until they heard a car screeching tires against the concrete of the empty parking lot.

David and Gwen turned around to the door just in time to see it being forcefully opened by a frowning man with a quite murderous expression on his face. A woman, with skin as dark as Max's and a mane of straight black hair, quickly entered the hall after him.

"Max!"

The boy turned around slowly, surprise written on his face as she approached. She knelt before him, a small baby bump noticeable on her belly.

"I am so glad to find you!"

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Max was talking to his mother but his eyes were fixed on the man who had opened the door. There was the usual defiance on his face but up close David could clearly see a glint of fear in his expression.

"Pack up, you little bastard," the man said from the door. "We are taking you back."

"Excuse me, sir," David said, standing up and placing a protective hand on Max's shoulder. "This is private property and I don't allow such behavior in this place. Apologize to Max."

The man looked David from head to toe and despite his brave façade, the counselor shivered with anxiety under his scrutiny.

"Lara, take your brat already and meet me in the car, if I stay here any longer I might catch this faggot's germs or something."

David was left speechless. The man turned on his heels and left, the door closing slowly and ominously behind him.

"Are you Max's mother?" Gwen asked the woman once the man was gone.

"I am and I am sorry he gave you so much work. We're here to take him back home so please excuse us."

"Madam, pardon my manners," David said, hand still firmly planted on Max's shoulder. "My name is David, and this is Gwen, we are counselors here at Camp Campbell and we would love to help Max and you even after the end of our activities."

Max's mother, Lara, looked at David with a subdued look on her face. David was no expert in makeup but it looked like she had a lot of foundation and powder caked on the side of her face, especially around her left eye, and she didn't seem able to meet his stare.

"Listen, are you sure you want to go back home with the angry guy there?" Gwen asked as politely as she could. "We have a car, we can take you and Max somewhere safe."

Lara looked lost. She opened her mouth to say something but, at the same moment, the man started to honk impatiently.

"I am sorry, Ron is just stressed that he had to drive all the way here to pick Max. We will be fine."

And with no further words, she snatched Max from David's grip and towed him away. The boy barely had time to reach for his teddy bear, his face growing pale as he got further and further away from the counselors. Shock froze David and Gwen for a few seconds but they managed to follow them out of the mess hall.

"Madam, at least give us a telephone number so we can check on Max sometime in the future."

Lara shoved Max into the backseat and closed the door firmly. The boy fell on the seat, Mr. Honey Nuts toppled to the floor, and David stared helplessly as Lara quickly scurried to the passenger door and entered the car.

"Fuck off faggot, if you try to check on me or them you'll show you what happens to fags who mess with real men."

The tires screeched loudly as the car quickly disappeared in the distance.

"David! What do we do?!" Gwen screamed at him, anxiety and fear clear on her face.

David ran into their cabin to fetch the keys to the car but when they finally made it to the main road there was no way of knowing in what direction Max had been taken. They sped through the highway and reached Sleepy Peaks in record time but Ron's car was nowhere to be seen. Tears were streaming down Gwen's cheeks when they stopped by the police station to register an occurrence.

The police officer was polite but inefficient at best. When he asked for Max's full name Gwen and David exchanged desperate looks and David's voice was small and broken when he admitted that they didn't have this information. Or any actual information about Max or his family other than his mother's first name and the fact that his father had died.

"I am sorry but with this little info it is impossible for me to help you," the officer said, slowly hitting the backspace key on his keyboard. "I'll give you the contact of the station if you remember anything worthy you can call us and we'll see what we can do to help. Have a good day."

And just like this the police officer turned around and walked into the other room, leaving David and Gwen alone and desperate. They wandered around Sleepy Peaks asking everyone about Ron's car but after an hour or so it became clear that they had not gone that way.

"Maybe we can track them down if we return to the camp and take the highway South instead of North," David said but there was absolutely no hope in his voice.

"Yeah, we can," Gwen agreed equally as hopeless.

They drove for hours until they ran out of gas and didn't find a single sign of Max. They parked the car on the side of the lane and walked to the nearest gas station with eyes peeled open, but there wasn't a single soul passing by. They returned to the camp when the moon was high in the sky and found the scrambled eggs still there, Max's plate still full of bacon and his glass filled with watery grape juice.

David's stomach growled loudly but he couldn't stand the idea of eating – not there and not at that moment at least. Gwen took his hand and gently guided him to the counselors' cabin where they huddled together in her bedroom, too tired to do anything but too scared and frustrated to actually sleep. Once more David spent the night with eyes wide open, the light from Gwen's alarm clock blinding in the darkness of the night.

In the following morning, there were deep dark circles under both David's and Gwen's eyes. They moved through the deserted camp in silence, gathering their things and packing up with slow and unsure movements. They ate some fruit in the kitchen and left everything else untouched, sooner or later the FBI would come to search Campbell's property after all.

Gwen drove until the next town and then David took her place until they arrived in Gwen's hometown. They exchanged phone numbers and swore to keep contact and to do everything in their power to find and rescue Max. Before leaving she hugged him tightly and he responded with an equally as tight embrace.

"We will figure this out, I promise," he said softly.

"We will," she echoed before kissing his cheek and pulling away. "Stay in touch, please."

"Sure, Gwen. Take care of yourself," he entered the car and waved briefly before taking the return to go back to his own hometown. He had no idea what to do except continue being, well, David. So he forced a smile on his face and drove while singing the Camp Campbell anthem despite the ever-growing need to cry and scream nestled on his chest.

Check this chapter on AO3.

#chapters #chapter 01 #End and Beginning

[cardboardhogs]

I pre-ordered a jumbo box of 1987 2017.  This is the big 30th anniversary for a set that is seemingly very popular with a lot of people.  Me though, i have a different memory of these vertically wood grained over produced cards.

I started collecting baseball cards in the fall of 1985.

I was 9 and had fallen in love with baseball and baseball cards.

I wanted to learn everything about baseball and own everything i could about baseball.

So, baseball cards met that need at the highest level for a young’n like me.  There weren’t many opportunities to buy cards at that time due to scarcity at my local Stop n’ Go or 7-11, but also my lack of funds…I was 9.  I did what i could back then.  When the 1986 cards rolled out, i was able to complete a set via trades and multiple pack purchases.  The way it was done in the old school days.  I had a little more money and ’86 turned out to be a fun year, a year that i became addicted to these damn cardboard things.

That all changed in the winter of 1987.

The very first packs of cards i bought that year were in the Stop n’ Go down the street from my home.  I was headed out to my very first camping trip for the local Boy Scouts troop…a trip that i wasn’t too excited about (maybe a story for later, but my BSA experience was very forgettable!).  My mom pulled in to the parking lot and gave me some money to get a special snack and a juice…i bought a coke and two packs of cards.  1987 Topps.  The cards had gum in them, so that’s kind ova snack, right?  Fearing that i had betrayed my mom, i kept the cards tucked in my pocket to be opened later that weekend…during a camping trip.  I made it successfully to the bus without anyone finding out about my card purchases and was able to procure a solo seat and open them on the ride to the camp site.  I had 34 brand new cards in my hands…and two horrible pieces of gum.  Little did i know that this was the start of an incredible amount of over-consumption of wood grained cardboard that i would later become overwhelmed with.

For me, this was my first understanding of over production of a product.  I was buying packs everywhere.  I was even able to buy a few boxes at our local Sams Wholesale Club…for about $18 each.  Now, t’ve never been a collector for the investment purposes but i also don’t like to buy junk…well that year i must have spent about $100 on 1987 Topps.  I was completely overwhelmed with them and grew to really dislike them…everything about them.  So when the set gets a re-up, i don’t jump for joy.  I’m old enough now and have some perspective to understand and appreciate the design, so maybe this year won’t be so bad.

I mean, they do actually look kind of nice and as others have mentioned, the wood grain is quite lighter than the original.  The cards stock as i remember it is quite better as well, significantly better actually…as i look at these cards, i can see why they are adored by so many…i have baggage that i need to let go of i guess.

They are nice, very nice.  Well done Topps.  You did a great job with these re-issues.  Tweaked some of the things that were of concern to me…thank you for listening :)  Some of you may have already seen the cards that i pulled as i thought it would be nice to pre-share over Twitter last night.  Just in case though, here is my very first 2017 Topps card of the year!

Miami Marlins Giancarlo Stanton!  Pretty sweet first card eh?  Don’t think i know what my first card is for the past 30 years, but i would venture to say that none of them are as good as this one.

This was my first card pulled for a favorite team, the Nationals or Yankees…Bryce Harper is cool, i mean…he’s probably going to have a good season.  Yeah, this card is fantastic for me not to mention that i got two in the box.  One for my flagship set and one for my Bryce Harper PC.  Collecting goals are being met.

This was my first Yankee, Nathan Eovaldi.  It was immediately followed by Aaron Hicks, also a Yankee.  Guess that duo was a nice little mini Yankee hot pack…or not…?

Topps is also continuing with the buyback program, but stamping them differently this year with a  vertically embossed stamp along the right edge of the card that reads “REDISCOVER TOPPS’.  Nothing spectacular, but i have to admit these cards are in great shape.

One of the many inserts that you get are the foil cards which are great looking cards, assuming you can see them.  I passed up a couple of them and had to go through the stack again to make sure i pulled them all out and when i did…four of the five were team cards.  Feel a little gipped here, but i guess it would have only been successful if one of them was a player or team i collect.  The fifth was a Kurt Suzuki.

Topps is also continuing to do the first pitch cards…and i think they are running out of celebrities or there just aren’t enough celebrities to go around.  Not trying to blast either of these two musical entertainers, but one of them is great and the other one is Mase.  I’ve tried to associate the connection of the First Pitcher to the team they are pitching for.  Mase, per wikipedia was born in Florida, but left with his mom for New York when he was three.  I guess maybe he’s always been a fan of a Florida team?  Ms. Jett is from Pennsylvania, so maybe she grew up watching Harry Caray and Steve Stone on WGN like me?  I kid…Joan Jett was one of my favorite rockers in the early 80’s, mostly due to my mom liking her music with The Runaways.  I like her biggest solo hit, a cover of ‘I Love Rock ‘n Roll”

Speaking of hits, i have three of them…well, two and a half.  I don’t consider redemptions hits until i have them in my hand.  Here they are, in my current favorite order.  When the redemption is in my hands, that will be without a doubt my favorite one…assuming of course it’s a Yankee card.

My timeline counter is starting on February 3rd, 2017.  Let’s see how long this takes to hit my blog post.  Ball is in your court Topps Corporation.

Clayton Kershaw Spring Training commemorative patch…it’s like a hard plastic’y metal’y thing’y numbered 38/50.  Not gonna complain at all.

My favorite hit, currently, is this Addison Russell trip color patch…they snuck that white portion of the patch in there didn’t they?  Numbered 19 of 25 is pretty good too.  Kinda wish it was autographed, but i’m quite happy with this pull.  Russell is a great young player and nice to add to my collection.

d’oh!  I have a couple more cool cards to show off.  Nothing spectacular, but wanted to share.  First one is the Bryce Harper Then and Now…i always remember that moment when i almost pulled that card in a box.  The guy next to me picked the box that had it and i picked the other one…such is my luck…i always get the other one..Harper looks like he’s aged 10 years since the Bowman card, beards man…they make you look old.

The other one is of the young Astros prospect, but aren’t they all?  Teoscar Hernandez…feels like his name should be spelled T’Oscar…but that’s not my lane.  I’m gonna stay out.  This is one of those reverse negative cards that are not printing plates, but every time i see one that’s the first thing that crosses my mind…kinda wished it was yellow.

Well, that’s the haul from my one jumbo box that i purchase for each series.  Hope you enjoyed.  I will be posting the cards from the two silver packs that came with the box another day, so until then.  Enjoy some random music that i was listening to while writing this letter to you.

  I pre-ordered a jumbo box of 1987 2017.  This is the big 30th anniversary for a set that is seemingly very popular with a lot of people.  

#1985 Topps #1987 Topps #2011 Topps #2017 Topps #Addison Russell #Andy Pettitte #Anthony Rizzo #Arizona #Atlanta Brave #Autograph #Boston Red Sox #Bryce Harper #Chicago Cubs #Clayton Kershaw #Cleveland Indians #Commemorative Patch #First Card #First Pitch #Foil Card #Game Used Memorabilia #Giancarlo Stanton #Grady Sizemore #Houston Astros #Joan Jett #Ken Griffey Jr. #Kris Bryant #Los Angeles Dodgers #Mase #Miami Marlins #MTV Unplugged