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the-untamed-obsession · 3 years

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Can you do if ever.. JC + LXC and WWX + LWJ and last but not the least Sizhui ( I enjoyed the part 2 of the fic ) having a fight with you but they make it up to you?

GUESS WHO’S GONNA DO THIS FOR ALL THE OTHERS 🥲 THATS RIGHT! Me ^w^ anyway I hope you like it💖 I REALLY enjoyed writing this!

First Fight P1!

Sizhui:

You two rarely argue, it’s a blessing. But when you do, it can be mildly intense.

Usually, your arguments always consist of you worrying about him and him thinking you’re underestimating him.

Your first argument was just that. You were worried he would get himself killed if he wasn’t careful. He got upset and assured you he’d be fine but you didn’t let up, practically begging him to stay with you. He got angry because he thought you didn’t believe in his abilities.

It was pretty intense. You two weren’t SCREAMING at each other, but you’d gotten pretty loud.

You two didn’t speak to each other for about 3 days. Your friends hated it and you often went to Wei Wuxian to complain. He helped ease your worries, claiming Sizhui was more than capable and you had nothing to worry about.

Both of you met up and apologized. You apologized for making it seem like you didn’t believe in him while he apologized for yelling at you and getting angry.

Jiang Cheng + Lan Xichen

Never. You three usually never argue BECAUSE Lan Xichen is usually there to stop you. Without him, you two would probably argue quite a bit. But they’re always small meaningless arguments. Nothing ever serious.

If the two of you were left alone, you would only have minor arguments. Mainly about you telling him to lighten up since he often came off really strict, even though he was clan leader. They were never concerning and he often got over them rather quickly.

Your first argument, between all 3 of you, happened because of this diplomatic mission thing. Both of them had to go to a nearby clan and try to build a healthy relationship. They wanted you to attend but you were nervous. Unfortunately, the argument got quite heated very quickly. There had been a huge misunderstanding. You were too scared to attend but both of them thought you had been ashamed of your relationship. Jiang Cheng got angry while Lan Xichen fell silent, unable to say anything. He was human after all and he couldn’t stop every argument.

It was pretty intense. You and Jiang Cheng were screaming at each other and Lan Xichen tried to stop it but somehow got caught up and started arguing with you too. He did try to defend you as well, which in turn made the argument between him and Jiang Cheng for a minute. It wasn’t pretty at all, instead it was rather explosive.

You three didn’t speak to each other for at least a week. It was so bad that Lan Wangji had to step in, trying to help every way he could. He talked to his brother, while Wei Wuxian talked to you, and attempted to talk to Jiang Cheng.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji came to you to figure out what really happened since Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen refused to talk further on the matter. While you talked with the two, you quickly figured out everything was caused by a simple misunderstanding. You met with your boyfriends not too long after the talk and explained that you were never ashamed of them, just nervous because you’d be up against so many officials. You weren’t a noble by any means and you didn’t want to look bad on them. Of course, they assured you that wasn’t the case at all and that they loved you no matter what anyone thought. This became the main reason you three worked on communication, such a terrifying argument came from such a small misunderstanding.

Lan Wangi + Wei Wuxian

Arguments are not only rare, but pretty unheard of. Wei Wuxian doesn’t often take things to heart, so he’ll just get over something quickly, while Lan Wangji doesn’t argue. You also don’t let things get to you, so anything that COULD be a potential argument can’t ever come to be. You three are just good at communication.

If you were to have any type of argument it would probably be related to Wei Wuxian’s ability to just start conflict. He’s pretty good at it and usually doesn’t think before he taunts someone.

Your first ever argument was pretty stupid but it turned into a catastrophe very quickly. It started with you saying you wished you could’ve seen his swordsmanship back in the day. Wei Wuxian explained that he chose not to use Suibian after he’d given up his golden core to his sworn brother. Your experiences with Jiang Cheng were less than desirable so you’d always had a deep dislike for the man. You’d offhandedly mentioned that giving his core to Jiang Cheng was a waste and it would’ve been better if he’d kept it. Of course, this was one of those things Wei Wuxian just couldn’t let go, so it quickly turned into an argument. It got worse and worse and when Lan Wangji tried to stop you two, both of you spewed out some less than nice things at him as well. So he inadvertently ended up getting pulled into the argument too.

You and Wei Wuxian refused to speak to each other and Lan Wangji found it kind of hard to try to help you two, he was upset and hurt too. After three days, the anxiety set in for all of you. You three had ALWAYS be together and so not talking for three days was just odd. It became harder to sleep and time felt like it barely moved during the day.

Eventually, you all caved and quickly went to find each other. The first thing you did was hug each other and start profusely apologizing. Then you all sat down and talked it out. Wei Wuxian understands why you and Lan Wangji would harbor negative feelings for Jiang Cheng, but at the same time he still loved and cared for his sworn brother. You agreed that you may have been a little bit upset, but you would try to respect him regardless. Jiang Cheng had been through a lot, so his feelings were also valid. You and Wei Wuxian also apologized to Lan Wangji for hurting him when he was only trying to help. He immediately accepted your apologies and added he understood you were both just angry and would never mean to say such things. You three definitely spent the next week trying to make it up to each other.

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ouyangzizhensdad · 3 years

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I just saw a post saying nhs has an inferiority complex and I'm?? Confused?? I always thought he was fine with being weaker in terms of cultivation, maybe I missed something

Hi anon,

I have to say, I struggle as well to figure out where people are getting this from the text. I think, oftentimes, people don't actually pay attention to what the text provides us in terms of characterisation as a whole, but take elements of what makes the character or which happens to them and simply extrapolate how they themselves would feel in that situation as a means of understanding the character. I can easily imagine how a reader would think: wow, if I had low cultivation in a world that values it (and within a clan that values strength even more so!) and a brother who was not only super strong and admired but who wanted me to fit into that role, and then found myself having to fill his shoes after his sudden death, I'd feel some sort of inferiority complex. I think that's the same reason you see so much people insisting WWX has self-esteem issues.

The thing about NHS is that, as a youth, we never saw him value high cultivation or "academic" achievements (not sure how to otherwise call his time at CR but there is probably a better word for it) or brute strength. He's afraid of consequences from his brother for failing at the CR, as we see here:

Although the brothers were not born from the same mother, their relationship was quite solid. Nie Mingjue had always taught his younger brother with extreme harshness, particularly caring for his studies. This was why, even though Nie Huaisang respected his older brother, he was the most scared of Nie Mingjue mentioning his schoolwork.

and here:

Although he didn’t understand a single bit as he listened in class, Nie Huaisang worked as hard as a slave when the date of the test approached. He copied Virtue two times for Wei Wuxian, and begged before the test, “Please, Wei-xiong, if my grade is lower than yi, my brother would really break my legs! Stuff like telling apart direct lineage, collateral lineage, main clan, clan branches… For us disciples from big clans, we can’t even distinguish our relationships with our own relatives, randomly calling everyone who are more than two tiers away from us aunts and uncles. Does anyone have enough capacity in their brain to remember those of other clans?!”

After thinking for a few moments, an expression of envy and yearning appeared on Nie Huaisang’s face, “To be honest, Wei-xiong’s words were quite interesting. Spiritual energy can only be obtained through cultivation and taking great pains to form a golden core (金丹). It would take I-don’t-know-how-many years to do, especially for someone like me, whose talent seems as if it was gnawed by a dog when I was in my mother’s womb. But, resentful energy are from the fierce ghosts. If they can easily be taken and used, it would be beyond wonderful.”

[...] . If disciple from a prominent clan forms the core at a later age, it would be a disgrace to tell other people of it, yet Nie Huaisang didn’t feel ashamed at all. Wei Wuxian also laughed, “I know, right? No harm comes from using it.”

The only moment that I can find that could tangentially be used to suggest that NHS has an inferiority complex could be this one, where NHS wants to avoid LXC's questioning about how his studies are going (and WWX picking up on his cues like a good friend to redirect the conversation). However, when you consider the whole context of the scene, it’s not because NHS feels self-conscious but because he’s afraid LXC is going to report to his brother that he’s not working hard at his studies:

Lan Xichen turned to him, “Huaisang, a while ago, as I returned from Qinghe, your brother asked of your studies. How is it? This year, will you be able to pass?”

Nie Huaisang replied, “Generally speaking, yes…” He seemed like a wilted cucumber, looking at Wei Wuxian in a helpless way. Wei Wuxian grinned, “Zewu-Jun, what are you two going out for?”

[...] Nie Huaisang also wanted to join in, but he had been reminded of his older brother as he met Lan Xichen. Cringing silently, he didn’t dare to have fun, “I’ll pass and go back so that I can review…” With this act, he hoped that Lan Xichen would put in some good words for him to his brother.

NHS seems very industrious at finding ways not to have to do anything that relates to cultivation or to leading a sect, and that is linked once more to the fact that he does not want to do these things (so not a case where we could say he’s self-sabotaging because he fears failure):

Lan Xichen took Nie Huaisang’s saber into his qiankun sleeve, “Huaisang has been using the excuse that he left his saber at home. Now he will have no excuses for lazing around.”

or here

“Nie Huaisang!”

Nie Huaisang fell at once.

He really did fall to his knees from the terror. He only staggered up after he finished kneeling, “D-d-d-da-ge.”

Nie Mingjue, “Where is your saber?”

Nie Huaisang cowered, “In… in my room. No, in the school grounds. No, let me… think…”

Wei Wuxian could feel that Nie Mingjue almost wanted to hack him dead right there, “You bring a dozen fans with you wherever you go, yet you don’t even know where your own saber is?!”

Nie Huaisang hurried, “I’ll go find it right now!”

[...]

In a hurry, Nie Huaisang dropped a few fans on the ground. Jin Guangyao picked them up for him and put them into his arms, “Huaisang’s hobbies are quite elegant. He’s dedicated to art and calligraphy, and has no propensity for mischief. How can you say that they’re useless?”

Nie Huaisang nodded as fast as he could, “Yes, Brother is right!”

Nie Mingjue, “But sect leaders have no need for such things.”

Nie Huaisang, “I’m not going to be a sect leader, though. You can be it, Da-ge. I’m not doing it!”

or here

Nie Mingjue was on the school ground, teaching and supervising Nie Huaisang’s saberwork in person. He did not acknowledge Jin Guangyao, so he stood at the edge of the field, waiting with respect. Since Nie Huaisang was quite uninterested and the sun was bright, he was rather half-hearted, complaining that he was tired after just a few moves. He beamed as he got ready to go to Jin Guangyao and see what presents he brought this time. In the past, Nie Mingjue would only frown at such things, but today he was angered, “Nie Huaisang, do you want this strike to land on your head?! Get back here!”

If only Nie Huaisang were like Wei Wuxian and could feel how great Nie Mingjue’s rage was, he wouldn’t grin in such a bold way. He protested, “Da-ge, the time is up. It’s time to rest!”

Nie Mingjue, “You rested just thirty minutes ago. Keep on going, until you learn it.”

Nie Huaisang was still giddy, “I won’t be able to learn it anyways. I’m done for the day!”

He often said this, but today Nie Mingjue’s reaction was entirely different from his past reaction. He shouted, “A pig would’ve learnt this by now, so why haven’t you?!”

Never expecting Nie Mingjue to burst out so suddenly, Nie Huaisang’s face was blank with shock as he shrunk toward Jin Guangyao. Seeing the two together, Nie Mingjue was even more provoked, “It’s been one year already and you still haven’t learnt this one set of saber techniques. You stand on the field for just thirty minutes and you’re complaining that you’re tired. You don’t have to excel, but you can’t even protect yourself! How did the QingheNie Sect produce such a good-for-nothing! The both of you should be tied up and beaten once every day. Carry out all those things in his room!”

The last sentence was spoken to the disciples standing by the side of the field. Seeing that they had gone, Nie Huaisang felt as though he was on pins and needles. A moment later, the row of disciples really did bring out all the fans, paintings, porcelain from his room. Nie Mingjue had always threatened to burn his room, but he had never actually burned them. This time, though, he was serious. Nie Huaisang panicked. He threw himself over, “Da-ge! You can’t burn them!”

Noticing that the situation wasn’t good, Jin Guangyao also spoke, “Da-ge, don’t act on impulse.”

Yet, Nie Mingjue’s saber had already striked. All of the delicate objects piled at the center of the field erupted in roaring flames. Nie Huaisang wailed and plunged into the fire to save them. Jin Guangyao hurried to pull him back, “Huaisang, be careful!”

With a sweep of Nie Mingjue’s hand, the two blanc de chine antiques shattered into pieces in his palms. The scrolls and paintings had already turned into dust in a split second. Nie Huaisang could only watch blankly as the much loved items that he had gathered throughout the years vanish into ashes. Jin Guangyao grabbed his hands to examine them, “Are they burnt?”

He turned to a few disciples, “Please prepare some medicine first.”

The disciples answered and left. Nie Huaisang stood at the same place, his entire body trembling as he looked over at Nie Mingjue, pupil encircled by veins. Seeing that his expression wasn’t right, Jin Guangyao put his arm around his shoulders and whispered, “Huaisang, how are you feeling? Stop watching. Go back to your room and have some rest.”

Nie Huaisang’s eyes brimmed red. He didn’t even make a sound. Jin Guangyao added, “It’s alright even if the things are gone. Next time I can find you more…”

Nie Mingjue interrupted, his words like ice, “I’ll burn them each time he brings them back into this sect.”

Anger and hatred suddenly flashed across Nie Huaisang’s face. He threw his saber onto the ground and yelled, “Then burn them!!!”

Jin Guangyao quickly stopped him, “Huaisang! Your brother is still angry. Don’t…”

Nie Huaisang roared at Nie Mingjue, “Saber, saber, saber! Who the fuck wants to practice the damn thing?! So what if I want to be a good-for-nothing?! Whoever that wants to can be the sect leader! I can’t learn it means I can’t learn it and I don’t like it means I don’t like it! What’s the use of forcing me?!”

I'm not saying he didn't have a hard time during the first moment of him taking over a leadership role in the sect after the sudden death of his brother (ultimately we can wonder whether the yiwensanbuzhi persona originated then, as he could have felt overwhelmed and actually didn't have the answers needed for the position he didn't prepare for--or whether it was always a pure fabrication to serve his goals), but I don't think we can chalk it up to an inferiority complex.

In the past, Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang studied together, so there were a few things he could comment about this person. Nie Huaisang wasn’t an unkind person. It wasn’t that he was not clever, but that his heart was set somewhere else and used his smarts on other areas, such as painting on fans, searching for birds, skipping classes, and catching fish. Because his talent in terms of cultivation really was poor, he formed his core around eight or nine years later than the other disciples of the same generation as him. When he lived, Nie Mingjue was often exasperated by the fact that his brother didn’t meet his expectations, so he disciplined him strictly. Despite this, he still didn’t improve much. Now, without his older brother protecting and supervising him, under his lead, the QingheNie Sect declined day by day. After he grew up, especially after he became the sect leader, he was often troubled by all kinds of affairs unfamiliar to him and looked for helpers everywhere, mainly his brother’s two sworn brothers. One day he’d go to Jinling Tower to complain to Jin Guangyao, and the next day he’d go to the Cloud Recesses to whine to Lan Xichen. With the two leaders of the Jin and Lan Sects supporting him, he still barely managed to settle on the sect leader position. Nowadays, whenever people mentioned Nie Huaisang, although they didn’t say anything on the surface, the same phrase was written on their faces—good-for-nothing.

And after NHS pieced together what happened to his brother and set out on a path to revenge, I don't see how someone who is so sharp and deceptive and able to reach his goals while hiding behind a facade the entire time would feel "inferior".

#anon ask #nhs #mdzs #mdzs meta

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crossdressingdeath · 3 years

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It's interesting how I've seen lately a couple of people bringing up, here and there, how cql is at fault for jc stans' wrong stance on his character bc I have wanted to ask you for a while what were your thoughts on cql!jc in particular... I mean, I know cql isn't a fave of yours anyways so I thought maybe there was no point to it anyways.

And, the thing is, I haven't read mdzs yet and I've only watched the donghua and cql and still... I've always had mixed feelings about him, which is funny bc- yes, in the end, he was softened there but even with that fact, that didn't made me like him. Now, I do prefer cql's but like I said, it wasn't enough to like LIKE him. And after a bunch of musing about why it was like that, I think I found out why. You see, if I had to list my top 5 charas from this universe, that would be: xy, wwx, xxc, lwj and wn. So you can see it's not as if I have a type as in "I love villains and bad boys" OR "I have a soft spot for heroes and good boys", there IS variety in what I like but no matter what are the flaws in a character, jc had one that I particularly despise: he's ungrateful. And he was ungrateful in the most disgusting way. To a lot of people, to the wens, to wwx himself... So even if we don't see him doing the terrible things he did in the novel (which in the end, maybe I would care like, xy is my fave so srsly, it's not about morals as such but having characteristics that aren't my cup of tea) and being homophobic and all that, he has one of the worst traits someone can have imo which is ungratefulness.

Finally, another thing I noticed is how contradictory his character was regarding his feelings for wwx. Look, I lean more towards this not being wzc's fault but the script but, the thing with cql!jc was that you sometimes could feel he genuinely cared about wwx and two second later it was like he genuinely hated him ??? I can't help but think the reason was that the cql staff fell into their own trap of wanting to make him more sympathetic and likeable but since he still needed to be one of the main antagonists for the pilot's sake, it became this contradictory mess...

Yeah, my personal breaking point for JC is the homophobia (which show-only fans wouldn’t know about) but... he’s got a lot of aspects of his character that are going to be Too Much for a given person! He’s just one of those characters. And yeah, the ungratefulness is... a lot. But honestly CQL JC just confuses me. I don’t know what they were going for with him? On one hand they try really hard to focus on how he’s sad and conflicted in a way the novel doesn’t (because... well, he’s not either of those things in the novel) and they quietly drop the bit where he leads the slaughter of a civilian population because he’s decided that the only way to assuage the pain he feels about what happened to Lotus Pier is to inflict it on others, but on the other hand... he really does straight up tell a woman that she can either marry him or die and he won’t lift a finger to help her if she doesn’t give him what she wants (and won’t do anything for her family either way) despite having the necessary information to save her without marrying her. I can’t speak to the overall quality of WZC’s performance; personally I thought it was pretty bad (god, the overacting, please calm down sir, you look like you learned how to act from a kindergartner), but I’m hardly an expert. But yeah, definitely at least part of the issue was the script. I don’t think the writers were entirely sure what to do with a character like JC, who starts (chronologically) as an ally and gradually becomes an antagonist partway through. I don’t know how much of that was censorship and how much was poor writing, but “confused” is the word that comes to mind looking at JC’s CQL characterization. His role as an antagonist is too important to cut and relies too much on his relationship with WWX to give to someone else, but they either didn’t want or weren’t allowed to just make him an antagonist so we get this... weird, uncertain mix of “loving brother” and “open antagonist”. They wanted him to be a good guy, but the story wouldn’t allow that. This is a lesson about not trying to force an adaptation to obey what you want with zero regard for the source material, and definitely not without bothering to fit the rest of the story around that change.

#cql negativity #grapehate #anon #asks

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agendratum · 4 years

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the mind-melt gifset got me thinking, so please allow me to mumble some more

there are always a lot of discussions of like who fell in love first? who realised his feelings first? is wei wuxian actually that dumb? (spoiler: he isn’t and i will fight you) and so on and so on. and i have some thoughts on the subject and the mind-melt scene is helping me to form those thoughts. i don’t claim to be right and those thoughts to be canon (even though i just said that i will fight you), but here they are

they definitely notice each other at almost the same time. lan zhan’s first appearance is a very fond memory for wei ying and he holds on to that memory even after he died and came back to life. and i mean you also can just see his reaction, it’s not rocket science.

lan zhan doesn’t notice him immediately as he’s kinda busy and so he doesn’t pay attention to people. and you know how he is, always alone, used to his peers seeing him as some kind of perfect standard. but then wei wuxian says something smart about a “corpse” that no one else notices and, wow, that is exactly a way to get second jade of lan’s attention. better not ruin that first impression by yelling and breaking a bunch of rules later. oh well

then the rooftop fight happens and i would say that for lan zhan this is it. he yet to really love wei ying with his full soul (you know, at least get to know him first, also get through all this repression), but he’s in love and he’s pissed. wei ying? i think he’s Impressed. i don’t know at what point he really falls in love (but i’m going to tell you by what point he’s definitely in love already), but he meets his equal and he’s impressed and he likes him and he wants to be his friend. and then he likes him a lot. a lot

please gaze upon this screenshot that perfectly captures the dynamic in the begging

i don’t think cql wei wuxian is oblivious (and i don’t know anything about any other wei wuxians so this all is just about cql wwx (and cql lwj)). but god, i think he is a teenager, and he needs time to understand what he’s feeling, and also he has this very twisted relationship with the idea of being loved. and also lan wangji isn’t very good at not being pissed at wei wuxian at any given time. but look at the fondness on wei ying’s face in this screencap. it’s a very brief moment, and lan zhan is too drunk to notice anyway. he knows he likes lwj a lot, he’s perfectly aware of that. but there are still miles and miles to go before they both can peacefully accept this wild concept.

fast forward to the cold caves, that is where lan wangji just accepts his fate. he’s still pissed about that, but now he knows that he can’t outrun his feelings and he’s stuck with wei ying, both metaphorically and literally. so he binds them with his ribbon, because at this point why the fuck not? it’s too late anyway, he’s too far gone. might as well get engaged.

by the way place your bets on the time period when lan wangji writes wangxian. cause i have no idea.

then lantern ceremony happens and dare i say that by that point

the boys are both in love

but i would say that lan zhan is in love and still doesn’t fully understand what to do with that. he’s quite repressed, confused and very not used to that. while wei ying is in love and he doesn’t think that he’s good enough, so he just doesn’t think too hard about it. why focus on it, when you can focus on having fun and spending time with lan zhan who’s slowly getting less pissed of with you? sounds like a plan

then they go on a little adventure, and by that point lan zhan is actually happy that wei ying is going with him. they meet their relationship goals, (spoiler: maybe don’t make xxc x sl your goals, they kinda really fuck up in the process of their relationship) they yearn, they pine and then they part. by the time they are parting, both are pretty much aware of what’s happening. lan zhan doesn’t really want to leave, but he has to. and wei ying, well, he wants to sleep on lwj’s roof.

when they meet next time, they are already at this point of relationship where you will never admit your feelings to each other, but you will jump in front of a sword to save the other’s life. we’ve all been there, right?

and then there is the cave.

i need to remind you and myself that after they leave this cave, the next time they’re going to see each other will be in the 20th episode. a reunion after one or both of them have been through hell.

but back to the cave. after all, this post started because of mind-melt gifset, remember?

the cave may be famous for the “you are fond of mianmian?” moment but remember, wei ying is trying not to think to hard about his own feelings, and lan zhan isn’t very good at conveying his, soooo you can see where the problem is, right?

there are other factors too, of course. they’re stuck in a cave with a deadly monster, lan wangji’s sect is in danger right in that moment, his brother is missing, the war is coming, he’s in pain, he’s tired and on top of all that, the boy he’s in love with is right there in his face being very helpful with his wound but not very helpful with lan zhan’s confused feelings getting more confused.

same goes for wei wuxian, who knows that the cloud recesses was destroyed, knows that his sect is in danger next, has to worry about his little brother getting somewhere, ideally home, safely, also aware of the fact that they are stuck in the cave with a deadly monster and there is one very wounded lan zhan on his hands who isn’t being super cooperative right now

it’s not the best time to think about all those feelings but it’s the only time they have.

and we all know lan zhan is going through some shit with all this “mianmian” nonsense. but let me point out some ways that wei ying shows his love in this scene without saying anything. rushing to tend to lwj’s wounds and giving him all the medicine that’s left, trying to comfort him and distract from the thoughts about his sect, covering lan zhan with his robe when he finally fall asleep

and then waking up before lan zhan (did he even have any sleep?) and putting his ribbon back on him, so lan zhan doesn’t feel nervous about it. (allow me to scream about that for a sec) (also he takes his robe away before lan zhan wakes up so don’t tell me this boy doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s just, you know, being wei wuxian in the process)

so take into account all this wall of text i wrote and consider what happens next. mind-melt. and listen, i don’t know how this spell works. who even knows? cql lore doesn’t explain shit and for that scene i’m actually glad it doesn’t. because i can just imagine how it works. ha!

and how i imagine it works, inspired by some other posts, is that some of your thoughts and feelings melt too, not just the thoughts you want to transfer.

it’s the face he makes. why does he smile like that? why why why

i already mumbled a bit in the tags of that post but here is what i think. they may not get the full picture from that mind-melt, but they get the idea. maybe it’s the warmth, maybe it’s the comfort, the trust, the fact that they’re already been through so much together and did so much for each other. but it’s all in there.

another reminder. by that point lan zhan already wrote wangxian (and he will later transfer it right into wei ying’s mind alongside a canonical wangxian fanvid).

lan zhan opens his mind to wei ying and wei ying give his that smile in response. and i feel like they just pour their feelings into each other’s minds. not all of them. and they don’t have time to reflect on it. but here they are. really makes me wonder how their reunion would look in other universe, where wwx doesn’t come back as a traumatized necromancer.

there are reasons why wei ying decides to push lan zhan away when he’s back. and some of the reasons come from this cave, this exact moment, i think. he know he earned lwj’s trust, he knows lwj cares about him, he knows what it’s like to make a second jade of lan smile. and he’s afraid to lose it all so he just doesn’t allow himself to have it back in the first place. he also knows that lan zhan can see through his bullshit. and he in so much bullshit now, he doesn’t want to scare him? dissapoint him? make him more worried than he already is?

and i’m sure he knows exactly why he cares about lan zhan so much but now he cannot be allowed to think about that.

and you know when he finally think about that? when that sinks and he breaks his own heart because it’s too late now and they run our of time? their reunion in burial mounds. that is when, i think, wei wuxian finally admits how far gone he is for lan wangji but it’s too late. he’s allowed to have this last happy memory of lan zhan and then he has to watch him leave forever.

when wei ying is back to life 16 years later, they both are both aware of their feelings. they just don’t know how the other one feels now. they need some time to figure it out but they catch up pretty soon. the end :)

#ok how did this happen #why is that post that long #i don't even remember if i got to my original point but i think i did??#screenshots are there because those two are adorable #and i love them #the untamed #cql #wangxian #meta #me mumbling #also i'm not checking for typos for tenses im not checking anything im going to sleep #wwx #lwj

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saberspirit · 4 years

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jiang cheng character analysis essay under the cut! bc he means a Lot to me (its 5 pages im sorry)

tl;dr my thoughts on his relationship to his parents, his relationship with anger and feelings of inferiority, what zidian represents to him, his siblings (largely about what led to him and wwx falling out), and my thoughts on reconciliation between him and wei wuxian in the end.

tw!!! for child abuse and death, also warning for spoilers for the ending.

alternatively can be read on google docs for accessibility

foreword: by writing this it is not my intention to imply this is the end all be all interpretation, or that i know more than fans of colour (especially chinese/chinese-american fans). i’m looking at his character as a white fan and through a western lens. i understand there are nuances i wont understand, but i have tried and continue to look at him w/ an educated view point and i’m always trying to continue my own self-driven education. i’m as always open to criticism and correction, although i understand it is no ones job to do so. it’s purely an interpretation from someone relating to his themes that i talk about here. thank you for reading!

Jiang Cheng has a very complicated relationship with his parents (understatement), though different from Wei Wuxian’s complicated relationship w/ them (some overlaps being given).

It’s obvious to me that JC identifies more as his mother's son than his father's—feels he has to be because surely that’s why he feels neglected and like he’s constantly being found wanting by his father (even if Fengmian does Not mean to come across that way and isn’t a cruel man). He identifies with his mother’s anger and feeling of not being what his father truly wanted or loved and I don’t think he realized the effect she had on him with her constant comparison game—trying to measure him up because Madam Yu used him as a playing piece in her constant warring with Fengmian and instilled a sense of otherness in him and his deep-rooted feelings of inferiority and not being Good enough, not being enough in general. And yet he still deeply loves them even through all that he’s been through because of them both.

He never grew up learning how love should be in a relationship; should be from a parent to a child. The love he learned is a different type of conditional love from WWX's (WWX being that he doesn’t trust it in the first place, knowing it will leave). JC receives love and praise but knows it comes from a silent arrangement: it’s transactional. He upholds what his parents want and he gets…a form of it. Jiang Fengmian loved him in a way that you just kind of do love family, perhaps without a real reason otherwise—not pretty, but it is as it is. Madam Yu loved him in a way one loves a possession: she saw too much of Jiang Fengmian in him and JC was a reminder of how unhappy she was and how much her husband didn’t seem to care about her or what she gave him. (This isn’t to downplay Yanli's role in JC’s life: I think she was truly the only one to show him unconditional love in a way that he understood and recognized but it's unfortunately different from siblings and fell on half-deaf ears when all JC really wanted was his father’s approval).

Madam Yu was (afaik) stated to not be physically abusive (aside from the whipping when the Wens came from Wei Wuxian), but she was one-hundred percent verbally and emotionally abusive (for example, punishing WWX w/ isolation from the family w/ seclusion, or in general just how she talked to JC and WWX). She broke those two boys and it's something that can’t be undone…and Zidian represents that trauma, abuse, and expectation and JC’s anger and resentment that was the product of it. It’s literally lightning in a whip form; able to bind without harm, but it’s primarily used to hurt; it can reveal a true form; control over it is only relinquished to one’s family and loved ones.

JC doesn’t just lash out verbally at Wei Wuxian when they meet in his second life, he literally does. It’s his anger under his skin like static, driving him forward and being unable to rest because he’s constantly looking for closure he can’t have. He resents how his parents and Wei Wuxian made him feel but it’s also the only thing he has of them, and he clings to that (and therefore Zidian). It’s the last thing, bar Lotus Pier, that he has of his family anymore, and he wields it like a weapon…because ultimately it’s the only thing he's known for a very long time. Anger is an easy emotion. He wears it well. It was an emotion he learned from his mother, and he is his mother’s son.

As a side note for Zidian: Jin Ling refusing to take it from JC in the Burial Mounds to me was very much about not wanting a goodbye. He's a stubborn kid—JC mirrored what his mother did to him in handing off Zidian before certain death, and I think Jin Ling realized "take care of Zidian" meant "because I can’t anymore". JC wanted Jin Ling to stay safe and keep a hold on their family's legacy, but Jin Ling refused it and stepped forward to protect JC—JL is tired of goodbyes and afraid of losing more people, but also that stubborn streak to protect his family back. He went into the fray himself even if it’s not what JC was asking him to do (but then to JC’s chagrin the kid never really does do what he asks usually, Jin Ling has a good head on his shoulders and he’s as stubborn and quick to anger as his jiujiu but he’s also as incredibly loyal and caring). And I think it's a good vehicle to show that JL is breaking that cycle for them both.

Back to Jiang Cheng and anger and his siblings though. Yanli is all about showing affection in her words and actions (ie. meal sharing, peeling the lotus seeds, etc). WWX struggles to show it in forthright actions, let alone verbalize it (he’s truly bad at it) so while WWX does love his brother and shows it in actions like giving him his golden core…it’s not something JC picks up on well, or at all because he doesn’t even get told about the core until the Guanyin Temple. Jiang Cheng is someone who needs verbalized confirmation and very obvious action. But then to be fair, JC is also not good at verbalizing his love and care (he and Wei Wuxian are two peas in a pod w/ this one). It’s often behind barbed wire because 1) that’s how it was shown to him and 2) because it’s safer and easier to hide behind anger. He really does use it as a shield to protect his real feelings because he’s used to his feelings being trivial and being thrown in his face, and is used to loss. It’s a buffer.

This leads to a problem: Wei Wuxian does love him unconditionally, but I don’t think JC knows that. When he’s faced with the golden core surgery after everything, it’s definitely obvious, but it’s so twisted up in being hidden from him, in his own fears and feelings of failure and reliance that it’s soured. And he struggles to reach out and be frank with his own worries.

And this leads and lends to the severity of their falling out (not the only cause, but a big player in it).

He deeply loves his brother, but it's also entrenched in his bitterness and fears. If it was initially hard for him to verbalize because of those issues (on top of being a teenager/young adult and his feelings of inferiority irt WWX), he’s now in the current day steeped in sixteen years of loss/grief/trauma. Of unresolved tension between the two of them because WWX never told anyone anything—even if that’s just how he is, nothing personal towards JC except maybe that it’s his little brother, his shidi, and he doesn’t want to put a burden on those he loves—and JC tried time and time again to believe him and in him.

The problem was that his trust got thrown in his face time and time again. His older ‘peers’ (clan leaders) mocked and insulted him to his face for his naivety, pointed out that what WWX was doing was an insult to JC and their family, that WWX’s actions disrespected him and that he should do something about it. WWX’s actions themselves alongside him never letting JC in on anything further isolated them and put walls between them. This sewed the seed of the idea for JC that maybe he was naive. That WWX couldn’t uphold his duty and promises to JC and their family while also upkeeping his own personal code of ethics. (Not that it helped that Jiang Cheng also started lashing out at Wei Wuxian in minor ways for not having Suibian, but he didn’t exactly know why, to his credit).

His trust was him trying to care for WWX through all they’ve lost, but he’s also under the immense pressure of leading and rebuilding his home while also being looked down upon for his inexperience and ties to the man the cultivation world loathes.

Jiang Cheng believed WWX when he said he'd help him, wanted him to and expected him to. That’s his big brother and ultimately family comes first, so it was out of the question that WXX wouldn’t uphold that duty to him. Jiang Cheng is barely an adult as Sect Leader and was still a teen when they lost everything, so of course he wanted to rely on and believe Wei Wuxian when he said he'd help. JC doesn’t usually rely on others—I’d wager he hates relying on WWX especially as a callback to the inferiority complex—but he lets WWX in when they have the “Twin Prides” talk, lets him in when he promises JC to help him rebuild their home…and then WWX lets him down several times.

Post Burial Mounds there are signs that JC notices, if not consciously then subconsciously, that something is off with his brother (the demonic cultivation, the flute, the lack of Suibian, his weakness when pushed, etc), little things that he noted but didn’t have the time during a War to think too deeply on. He’s more relieved to just have him back where he can see him, happy that his brother can help them. Jiang Cheng gives him his vote of confidence in his abilities, in him, because he never thought of WWX or his methods badly (having been a fan until it became a symbol of losing Wei Wuxian to Something Else). Even if he had thought something of it, did have a concern, they don’t easily talk to each other now.

That much is obvious when after various meetings post the Sunshot Campaign as WWX is struggling with his temperament and resentful energy, after WWX saves the Wen remnants from the Jin Clan, and Jiang Cheng shows up at the Burial Mounds. He still believes in Wei Wuxian, still is bound to help him, and wants to help him. He’s willing to sacrifice the Wens for his brother. His actions and words are not pretty, but by god is he desperate. Jiang Cheng wants to save him and hides it with harsh words because once again he’s not good at being forthright with his feelings. He’s at his wits’ end, he’s barely 20, and suddenly he's losing Wei Wuxian too. It’s not about them being Wens because at this point he’s aware they’re helpless—it’s because it’s WWX and he’s supposed to make the right decision and be competent. It’s freshly post-war and he’s scared: his big brother is leaving and he feels powerless and he Hates that. Once again feels like he’s not good enough. Not good enough to save WWX, not good enough to lead, and he’s under intense scrutiny. He tells WWX as much that at this point he can’t help, and it hurts him to not be able to. Jiang Cheng wants Wei Wuxian to help him, help him. It’s an admittance wrapped in hurt and hurtful words, and WWX throws it in his face because he can’t let him in.

It’s not meant in any malicious way. Wei Wuxian is also traumatized, scared and hurting and dealing with the changes demonic cultivation is causing within him. But this is a key moment when JC for once verbalizes his fears and WWX tells him, ‘good, you don’t need to worry, I don’t have anything to do with you from now on’. (And of course, WWX is doing this to protect JC, but this response is what JC is afraid of).

So we have two times that JC has tried really hard in his own ways to let WWX in. To rely on him and be honest with him and WWX ends up…breaking his promises and leaving him and their family behind. And to me, that explains his actions when the last time they speak before he dies (that we’re shown anyways). WWX is sitting down with Jiang Cheng and Yanli. JC is the one that set up them being able to meet him, the one that reached out even after they fought to make his defecting from the Sect look convincing. He was the one that told Yanli that WWX should be the one to give a courtesy name to her child.

And then WWX brings Wen Ning. Yanli is open to Wen Ning sitting in and enjoying their family tradition, but JC can't understand why. Why WWX chose these people over his own family. He resents it. When he says "you might not be able to come back, to your family" I can imagine how much it destroys him to hear WWX say "but the people I’m returning to are also my family". Because what does that make them, WWX’s siblings; what does that make the promises and the years spent raised together, the duty he had to them first. Wei Wuxian might return to the Burial Mounds, but Jiang Cheng has to return to an empty Lotus Pier. The ghosts of his parents and ghosts of memories of his siblings he’s never getting back (because Yanli will be in Jinlin Tai after her upcoming wedding).

Repeatedly over and over Jiang Cheng reaches out, but time and time again it’s like WWX is telling him he’s not enough: not enough for WWX to rely on, not enough to protect him, not enough for him to want to return to, not enough to be family.

Then the cultivation world comes for WWX and his amulet. Yanli is killed, as far as JC can tell, because of the mess WWX made, and once again he’s in the dark about everything. Then WWX dies and rumours swirl that JC killed him, and maybe he did, maybe he is his brother’s killer even if Wei Wuxian would call it a misunderstanding. He’s left alone with an orphaned nephew in Lotus Pier with his entire family, bar an infant, dead.

So Jiang Cheng spends the next sixteen years without answers, with WWX having reinforced his insecurities and fears that stemmed from the abuse he'd suffered during childhood and then died. Yanli died when she never should’ve been in danger in the first place, seemingly because of Wei Wuxian. And he's so angry. He lashes out at memories and reminders, lashes out at anyone who chooses that same path that WWX chose over his family.

By the time Wei Wuxian’s come back from the dead and JC knows it’s him, WWX is still deflecting, still hiding still not telling him the truth. The fact that WWX comes back at all hurts purely as a fresh opening of the old wound, but the fact that he doesn’t come to find JC, that once again JC and his family isn’t a priority and once again is second best (this time to Lan Wangji)?

He doesn’t kill his brother. JC sits him down in a room and tries to talk but old hurts rile up and he reaches for anger again. WWX isn’t forthright and it makes it worse, neither of them are good at communicating: too many things unsaid, that can’t be said, too many misunderstandings and neither of them knowing how to talk about it. JC has Fairy there and it’s a minor act of revenge. JC uses what he knows is WWX’s weakness to intimidate and immobilize him, but it doesn’t help either of them actually talk.

Reconciliation is going to require WWX being able to talk to him without deflecting and JC getting angry so easily. But by this point, he’s given WWX a lot of chances and it’s why I think they could and would easily post-canon. Jiang Cheng's starting to come to an understanding that WWX did and still does care about him. He didn’t give him his golden core for no reason, and JC starts to understand why WWX did it for him and that he knew JC well enough to hide it in the first place.

He started to reach that conclusion shortly after Wen Ning told him—oh the pain of it having been WWX's chosen little brother figure—and Jiang Cheng had gone around asking people to unsheathe Suibian. It's why he brought Chenqing to the temple in the first place.

I think it speaks to his maturity that he decided at that moment he couldn’t say what he wanted to tell WWX in the end. I think he knew neither of them was ready, but I also think it speaks of how much he misses and trusts WWX to have let him go for now…I think he knows they will meet again as long as they both live, and that they'll be better for having waited. After some time to think, digest, they’ll be ready to be family again and all that entails.

#he really lives in my head rent free and i just. well. i think hes a really good example of the ''uglier'' side of the feelings of--#-- victims of abuse and how we deal -or sometimes cant- with it in our lives afterwards and how they affect relationships #BUT the important thing is that hes healing :)#jiang cheng #for my own tagging purposes #caleb meta hours #caleb.txt #i may come back to edit this tbh its 1am and i spent 3 hours editing it

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i-like-plan-m · 4 years

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Something I've been thinking about is what if Madame Yu was just a bit more obvious in how much she hates wwx, and wwx ran away from Lotus Pier? It's clear his siblings matter more to him than anything else and he hates causing them strife. If he believes that he's the cause, he'd take steps to make them happy, right? I want to write story about that but I dont think I have the ability. If you ever wanted to write something like that I would be overjoyed to read it! - an0n

[Ao3] [Chapter 1/3]

I love this, thank you!! _____________________

“What are you doing?”

It was the fear in Jiang Cheng’s voice that stopped him.

Madam Yu’s last words to him still ringing in his ears, Wei Wuxian pasted on a cheery smile and spun on his heel to face his... to face Jiang Cheng.

“Ah,” he said on a little laugh. “Jiang Cheng…”

“She didn’t mean it,” Jiang Cheng said desperately, stumbling towards him with a panicked edge to his words. “You know that. She wasn’t serious, it’s just the same stuff as always.”

“I know,” Wei Wuxian said gently. That was exactly the problem. Madam Yu’s hurled abuse at her children hurt them, and Wei Wuxian was too convenient of an excuse for her to ever pass up. She would never stop, not while he was there to set her off again.

“You can’t leave,” Jiang Cheng said, curling a fist in the front of his robes and holding tight like he could keep Wei Wuxian in Lotus Pier if he just held on tight enough.

“Madam Yu is right,” Wei Wuxian said with a sad smile, reaching up to cover Jiang Cheng’s hand with his own. “I’ve spent too long causing trouble for her and the sect to stay any longer. I shouldn’t be a burden for you all anymore.”

“You’re not a-- did you even tell jiejie? Does she know you’re leaving?” He seized on Jiang Yanli, knowing that she was his weak point. “She doesn't know, does she? Were you just going to disappear?”

Wei Wuxian ached at the thought of Jiang Yanli, of never seeing her again or having her hate him for leaving. But Madam Yu had been clear-- she no longer wanted him at Lotus Pier. He’d heard such things from her before, basically ever since he’d been brought back by Jiang Fengmian, but Madam Yu’s use of Wei Wuxian as a way to torment and ridicule Jiang Cheng had only escalated since their return from the lecture at Cloud Recesses.

Without him, she would have fewer things to be angry about, and less anger to take out on her children and husband.

“I left shijie a letter,” Wei Wuxian said, swallowing roughly. He reached down to pick up his bag, Jiang Cheng still clinging to him, and took one last look around his room. He hoped whoever got it next appreciated the art carvings, the hidden stash of snacks and alcohol under the floorboard, the small, colorful trinkets he’d collected over the years.

Or maybe they would get rid of it all, erasing the signs that he’d ever existed here.

“Then go give it to her yourself,” Jiang Cheng snapped.

“I can’t,” Wei Wuxian said truthfully. He tried to smile, felt it waver in the face of Jiang Cheng’s betrayed expression. “It’s time for me to go, shidi. Ah, and think of it this way! Now you can have dogs again.”

“I don’t want the fucking dogs,” Jiang Cheng choked out. “I want you to stay here. You promised we would be brothers, in this life and the next. You promised.”

Yes, he had. But Madam Yu had told him she’d had enough of him taking advantage of their family, of him thinking himself a part of it when in fact he was nothing but a burden. When he did nothing but make Jiang Cheng and by extension their sect look bad.

So. Better to leave now under his own power before the rest of them started to feel the same, or Madam Yu made Jiang Cheng hate himself and resent Wei Wuxian even more than he already did.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could say. A thousand words between them and not a single one spoken, their relationship permanently fractured by the competition neither of them had signed up for, that neither of them had ever wanted.

Wei Wuxian’s presence at Lotus Pier made Jiang Cheng’s life harder. There was no way around the truth of it.

Jiang Cheng’s grip went slack, as though he realized that this was really happening, that his brother was leaving him behind. Wei Wuxian saw stark pain in his eyes before they shuttered, anger becoming his armor against such hurt.

“Fine,” he spat, but the hitch in his breath betrayed him. “If you want to leave so bad, then just go.”

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian said, torn to pieces at the anguish in his brother’s voice. “I don’t want to leave you or shijie. But…”

Jiang Cheng looked away. They both knew the real reason he was leaving. Coming to terms with it would be hard for both of them.

“I’ll write,” Wei Wuxian offered quietly. “If… if you want.”

“You’d fucking better write,” Jiang Cheng said, swiping impatiently at his damp cheeks. There was a brief pause, the tension softening into a quiet, shared grief. “Where will you go?”

“Who knows!” Wei Wuxian said, trying for cheerful and sounding uncertain instead. “There’s a whole world out there, you know. Plenty of trouble to find.”

Jiang Cheng made a familiar exasperated sound that made him want to laugh. “Weekly letters,” he threatened. “Or I’m coming to find you.”

Wei Wuxian’s smile was a little more genuine this time. “I can do that.” He hesitated, then added, “Can you…”

“I’ll tell jiejie,” Jiang Cheng said quietly.

“Thank you.” Wei Wuxian enveloped him in a hug, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears that threatened when Jiang Cheng gripped him back hard enough to bruise.

“I will see you again,” he promised, and felt the eyes of his brother watch him leave.

~*~

His new mantle of rogue cultivator hurt a little less when he thought of his parents. They hadn’t belonged to a sect after they married, and he wondered if they’d been happy to freely wander the world.

His one clear memory of them made him think so. There’d been laughter, and warmth, and a sense of safety and security that Wei Wuxian found himself wishing for during those first few weeks after leaving Lotus Pier.

Too much freedom, he’d discovered, was a hard adjustment to make. He had no responsibilities other than finding food and water, no duties or chores around a sect, and no sect leader to answer to.

He’d considered, briefly, going to Gusu. The lecture would be over by now, the guest disciples returned home. He wondered if Lan Zhan was happier now that the Cloud Recesses was quiet again. He wondered if Lan Zhan would even want to see him.

But after losing his home so abruptly, Wei Wuxian found that he did not want to go where he was not wanted. Usually he wouldn’t pay any attention to it, would not care what others thought of him or his presence, but now…

Well. He’d been kicked out of Cloud Recesses. Out of Lotus Pier. Neither would welcome him now. Maybe he could go to Qinghe and accomplish the trifecta of banishment.

The thought would be funnier if he weren’t so cold and hungry.

There was a trick to surviving as a rogue cultivator, and that was bartering. Larger towns were typically protected by sect cultivators who could banish spirits or ghosts. Smaller villages usually could not afford such services, so they would trade shelter and a hot meal for a cultivator’s help.

Wei Wuxian hadn’t yet made it far enough away from Yunmeng territory to find these villages. Mostly he hunted or fished to feed himself, and slept out in the open since he couldn’t afford to stay at an inn. It was a far stretch from his days in Yunmeng, never wondering where he would sleep or when his next meal would come.

He was lost in a way he hadn’t been since a recently orphaned child living on the streets and eating trash to survive. Funny, how these things came back full circle.

Wei Wuxian poked at his miserable little fire, hunched over it in the fading light within the forest to soak in the weak warmth it emitted. The wood was too wet to truly burn, still damp from the downpour earlier.

So was he, as a matter of fact. His wet robes clung to him uncomfortably, and he would take them off to let them dry if the descending night weren’t so cold.

Quiet voices had him lurching to his feet, Suibian in hand as he warily scanned the heavy shadows thrown by the trees. They were coming closer, light footsteps that echoed through the forest and hid the direction of their approach.

And then white robes bled out of the darkness, his heart skipped a beat in breathless, astonished hope… and then fell at the sight of a stranger’s face. The man’s companion wore dark robes like his own, a curious pair that moved in sync and spoke without words.

“Our apologies, Young Master. We did not realize there were others so deep into the forest,” the white-robed man said with a polite bow.

Wei Wuxian returned it, noting with a spark of interest that they carried swords that marked them as cultivators. “No apology necessary. I am Wei Wuxian,” he said, rising from the bow. “I was hunting for dinner and didn’t realize how far I’d walked before the sun set.” More like he’d had nothing to turn back for.

“My name is Xiao Xingchen, and my companion is Song Lan.” Xiao Xingchen looked around his campsite with a mild look of curiosity. “Are you traveling alone?”

“I am,” he said, his smile dimming despite his best efforts.

Song Lan studied him for a moment, then shared another brief, wordless conversation with Xiao Xingchen. “Do you have a destination in mind, Master Wei?”

“Ah… no? I’m just wandering,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You are welcome to travel with us, if you wish,” Song Lan offered. “Rogue cultivating can be dangerous and challenging on your own.”

Wei Wuxian looked uncertainly between them, remembering his recent vow to stop going where he wasn’t wanted. These two were obviously close, and he wondered if he would be intruding.

“As Song Lan said,” Xiao Xingchen added at Wei Wuxian’s hesitation. “You are welcome to join us.”

“Yes,” Wei Wuxian decided, spirits lifting. “I would appreciate your company.”

“We are headed for a nearby town,” Song Lan said. “Do you need to rest, or can you make it through the rest of the forest tonight?”

Wei Wuxian stomped the dying fire out and eagerly grabbed his bag. “No need to wait!” He followed them through the forest, grateful to have their company. The world seemed less lonely all of a sudden, and the companionship was a buoy for his spirits.

“Have you two been traveling together long?” He asked.

“We met a few years ago. I was raised in Baixue Temple,” Song Lan said, drifting gracefully over the uneven ground. “And Xiao Xingchen was a disciple of Baoshan Sanren.”

Wei Wuxian made a startled sound and nearly tripped over his own feet. Song Lan steadied him and traded a look with Xiao Xingchen over his head.

“Baoshan Sanren?” Wei Wuxian asked, stunned by the reminder that he had family left in the world.

“Yes,” Xiao Xingchen said, eyeing him with some concern. “Are you familiar with her?”

“She is my grandmother,” Wei Wuxian said distantly.

Xiao Xingchen’s eyes widened. “You are the son of Cangse Sanren? Adopted into the Jiang Sect as a child?” Wei Wuxian nodded, and Xiao Xingchen’s surprise morphed into a smile. “Your grandmother wishes to meet you, Wei Wuxian.”

Wei Wuxian was a little surprised she even knew he existed. “She does?”

“Yes, she does,” Xiao Xingchen said, smile lines crinkling at the corner of his eyes. “I can tell you where to find her, if you wish.”

What else did he have? No place to call home, no family left other than the immortal cultivator secluded on her celestial mountain-- and the part of his heart that urged him to find her, the only ones left in their line.

“There is no hurry,” Xiao Xingchen said gently when the silence stretched too long. “You are still welcome to travel with us as long as you wish. Your grandmother is a patient woman; you can take as long as you need.”

Wei Wuxian swallowed hard and paused to bow to him. “Thank you, Master Xiao. I… I think one day soon I would like to know how to find her.”

Xiao Xingchen nodded. “You need only ask.”

Wei Wuxian let the pair lead him out of the dark, unknown forest, with something like hope burning in his chest.

#anon #asks #the untamed #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #xiao xingchen #song lan #wei ying #lan zhan #my fics #my writing

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missholland · 4 years

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“Shouldn’t I hate you? Can’t I hate you?”

“Why do you treat me like a fool?”

Jiang Cheng tearfully asked his adopted brother, and we could all feel the pain in his voice. He must have held on to these wonders for a very long time, even beyond the past 16 years when WWX was presumably dead.

JC grew up with WWX, and despite a rough start of having his puppies sent away, the two truly became close as a little JC promised to chase dogs away for WWX. I don’t have a brother, so I can’t personally relate to what it’s like living with one. I guess the fact that JC and WWX are same age supposedly make them best friends too. Male friends rarely sit down and talk about their feelings, let alone young men like these two.

From the very beginning, we get to know JC as the more disciplined one and constantly looks out to make sure WWX does not cause any trouble. That makes a lot of sense, since JC bares the heavy responsibility of being the next Jiang clan leader, on top of enduring his father’s tough love and his mother’s unpleasantness toward WWX. For those who instantly fell in love with WWX’s free spirit, JC comes across as a massive killjoy.

Just think about it, the two did quarrel quite often growing up, as boys do. I’m not sure when it started, but WWX eventually develops a habit of not telling JC things. He could be seen regularly dismissing JC whenever the latter asks him a question. We got to see this several times during their studies at Cloud Recesses, and it’s likely JC justified it as WWX’s newly developed attention to LWJ. JC’s envy cannot be anymore obvious - from his rolling eyes every time WWX is around LWJ to snarky comments like ‘You’re so close to LWJ now, just stay in Cloud Recesses and don’t bother coming back to Lotus Pier’. As much as we all ship young WangXian, wouldn’t you be really upset if you were in JC’s position?

JC has a lot more to lose than WWX - his family, his clan’s reputation. Considering how his father tended to maintain a passive position whenever it comes to clan politics, JC would follow through with the stay-out-of-trouble mindset and prefer as least attention as possible during chaos. Unfortunately, that’s not how WWX operates. He simply cannot stand idly by when someone is in trouble. There is no such thing as ‘those irrelevant’ to him. If the weak is being bullied, he will step in to help in a heartbeat. This is why WWX is MUCH better off being a free agent like Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan. Once you live that major clan life, every step you take and every move you make represent your sect, not just yourself, no matter how many times you keep saying ‘Hey, you can slander me, but not Yunmeng Jiang clan’. JC knows this very well, and in his head he has to be the adult/bad cop to WWX as there is really no choice.

There is nothing wrong with having that ethos. JC just has completely different priority comparing to WWX, and that’s what he based on when making decision. JC’s intention has always been about protecting WWX, even after the event in Qiongqi Way. The reason for the downfall of their relationship comes from both sides: JC doesn’t know how to ask, and WWX doesn’t want to answer. Maybe because JC keeps go on and on about WWX better not bringing trouble to Jiang clan, WWX finds it more difficult to confine in him with his problems and eventually not tell him at all. Or, deep down, WWX already knows JC treasures completely different values. Hence, it is no use to share this sort of thing with him. That is obviously different from his experience with LWJ, as they made the same promise in front of Master Lan Yi in the cold cave and under the rabbit lantern. All of the above, in addition to JC not being conversationally gifted, keep the brothers further and further away until their misunderstanding becomes too deep to resolve.

I’m not team JC, but I feel for him when it comes to holding on to things. He remembers stuff and doesn’t let go easily. So when his adopted brother said ‘I will be your subordinate and assist you for life when you become clan leader’, that promise meant a lot more to him than the person who made (and broke) it. Besides, JC already lost his parents. With his sister getting married, he was practically all alone in rebuilding Lotus Pier and WWX’s help was supposed to be his greatest asset.

But all he received in return is a flaky assistant who became depressed, drank all day, nowhere to be found when needed and just seem to give up life in general. JC probably considered him already having too much go on, and it’s just easier for him to scold others instead of holding back for one second to think ‘What happened to him? I need to find out and sort him out!’. We all know how everything went down after that, and it really echoes what JGY said to JC in episode 49: ‘If you had treated WWX better, none of this would have happened’.

Honestly, JC doesn’t deserve to be treated like a fool, which was what WWX kinda did to him. He started telling all of his burdens revolving WWX, from how WWX had always been winning in everything - from talent to chivalry, from the affection of their father/sister to the cost of their own lives. But that’s not the point. JC was aware of all that, but he was definitely never jealous of WWX’s qualities in a negative way. JC did not care about any of that, as long as WWX remained his loyal best friend/brother.

This is where his actual deepest frustration unfolded - ‘What hardship could you not tell me’ is the most haunting question I’ve heard. JC knew there was a reason, but could not figure out why he was not the one WWX went to for help. He was getting to that point when capturing WWX in Qinghe, asking why WWX went elsewhere rather than Lotus Pier once he was resurrected. As ridiculous that question might be (I mean, would your first point of contact after coming back to life be the person who wanted to kill you before?), it was the confused and desperate little brother inside Jiang clan leader’s hard ass cover crying for answer from his former best friend/brother.

If there was ever any jealousy inside JC, I would think it gotta be toward LWJ. Sure, the closeness with WWX is one thing, but it’s weird to compare your brotherhood to.... you know, romantic/spiritual soulmate-level bond. I might be stretching this, but it just seems to me JC is somewhat envious of how LWJ can confidently (maybe, in his head, blindly) stand by WWX post-resurrection.

The whole ‘oh you’ve been everywhere for 16 years looking for someone’ comment - I mean really JC, weren’t you doing the same too? The dirty look he gave LWJ when he took out Bichen and pointed toward Jin Clan’s guards to protect WWX at Jinlintai, when LWJ stood next to WWX against the cultivation world at Burial Mounds, when LWJ remained by WWX at Lotus Pier’s doorstep and even willing to wait OUTSIDE with him, when LWJ was taken to offer some incense to his family, and when LWJ still fiercely shielded WWX while having his spiritual power sealed at Guanyin Temple.

Deep down JC never stops loving his brother, but he’s just not willing to let go of the past. And sadly, he has probably never really believed in WWX anyway. A lot of people may not be able to stan JC, but it’s still heart-breaking regardless thinking about how his relationship with WWX deteriorates through time. I guess the only comforting thing is that by the end of the series, both of them can move on with their lives. And hopefully, whenever they think of each other, it’s only with the good memories of sitting together eating shijie’s lotus soup.

#jiang cheng #jiang wanyin #yunmeng jiang #wei ying #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #the untamed #chen qing ling #mo dao zu shi #thoughts #brothers

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grandmasterofwangxiancultivation · 5 years

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MDZS ch.92

i’m trying to breath, here. i read only the first sentences and the gay is already strong.

Wei WuXian sighed within his heart, Never mind about these further investigations and whatnot… I’m more worried about if being cut-sleeve is contagious through sacrificing one’s body!

(like, seriously wwx? seriously?)

As he thought, the fatigue of the past few days began to rise. Wei WuXian rubbed his temples. Lan WangJi, “You should rest.”

Wei WuXian, “Okay.” As he spoke, he sat onto the bed, kicked off his boots, and lay down, “HanGuang-Jun, you should also…” At this point, he discovered quite an awkward problem.

There was only one bed inside the room. If Lan WangJi was going to rest as well, he had to sleep on the same bed as him. Despite the number of times they’d slept on the same bed in the past couple of days, a lot of things had become delicate after Jiang Cheng’s words at the ancestral hall of Lotus Pier. Now, much less tell Lan WangJi to sleep on the same bed as him, he mulled things over for so long even when deciding how many rooms to take.

(omg they are so awkward and cute just LOOK AT THEM ISHFIWHGFOIWJE

like, he wanted to invite lwj to rest by his side and lwj his so nervous that he is like “no need, take rest first” and my heart is melting because they are finally, finally aware of this something hovering on their heart, as in, they cannot force it down anymore, it’s there and it’s obvious and it NEEDS TO FREAKING EMERGE FORGODSAKEPLS)

EDIT:

Back when he was playing the madman, he said something like he could only sleep when he was beside Lan WangJi. Of course, all of that was nonsense. But ever since however long ago, the nonsense seemed to have become a reality. Wei WuXian thought, What should I do now? Don’t tell me from now on I really won’t be able to sleep in a bed that doesn’t have Lan Zhan in it?

YES, THAT’S EXACTLY THE REASON. KNOW WHY? BECAUSE HE IS YOUR HUSBAND AND YOU CANNOT RELAX WITHOUT HIM BY YOUR SIDE guys their relationship is so beautiful and so much has happened and it developed in such a natural, heartmelting way, i swear i have no words and i just wanna lay down and smile and sigh at how perfect these two are together osjgwoigwè

EDIT 2: okay i think i love the innkeeper. she is literally KILLING ME with her smart words, she basically hints at everything,going from “you need to recover energy to keep on going” (eheheh) to saying to wwx “he is handsome while you’re cute” and my mind just went forward, grinning, thinking “you meant, he is the seme while you’re the uke” -like, i’m all for reverse and not-stereotyped roles in bed, of course, but her words called for it and i laughed so mUcH-

EDIT 3: okay, plot with jiang cheng background and everytime i hear his name i feel my heart clench and i just wanna imagine wwx and jc talking things through and be best bro again. god, did jc become cruel, he needs to be loved, too.

EDIT 4:

Just as he was about to pour the wine, he paused for a split second, warning himself immediately, If he doesn’t drink it, then let it go. If he drinks it, I’ll only ask a few things. I definitely won’t do anything else. I only have to know what he thinks. He won’t remember anything after he wakes up anyways… It won’t interfere with anything.

OH PLEASE DRINK, LWJ. DRINK. oh, how wwx wants him to drink... he is ltotally lying to himself siodfoiwjfiowre

EDIT 5: LWJ DRANK THE WINE *sweats*

EDIT 6: OMG WWX CHOKED, THE WINE REALLY IS STRONG. THE PREMISES ARE GOOD.

EDIT 7:

This time, he fell asleep right on the sitting mat. He still sat properly.

(omg it’s happening. it��s happening, LWJ FELL ASLEEP)

Wei WuXian waved his hand a few times in front of his face. When there was no reaction, he was finally relieved. He reached out, gently lifted Lan WangJi’s chin, and whispered, “I’ve been holding it back all these days. HanGuang-Jun, you’re finally in my hands now.”

(OMG OMG THAT CHIN LIFTING AND WWX’S SEXY ATTITUDE I’M NOT READY OMG OMG OMG)

EDIT 8: WWX HAVING VEEEERY NOT PURE INTENTION TOWARD LWJ IS GONNA BE MY BEST DOWNFALL OMG I WANNA ROLL DOWN A MOUNTAIN ALL THE WHILLE SCREAMING AND SOBBING AND FLYING ON THE WINGS OF LOVE I’M FULL OF WANGXIAN BUT I NEED MORE

EDIT 9: wwx’s heart punding erratically i’m sobbing so hard.

EDIT 10: wwx is horny. so horny he starts literally rolLING ON THE GROUND. i’m dead.

Wei WuXian’s heart throbbed almost madly. To calm himself, he rolled a couple of times on the ground before he leaped up. Telling himself to keep his head clear, he slowly slid back, sitting in front of Lan WangJi. He sat properly for a while, waiting for him to wake up, but he still couldn’t give up, this time poking his cheek. After a few pokes, he somehow realized he’d never seen how Lan WangJi looked when he was smiling, and so he pinched the corners of Lan WangJi’s lips and pulled them upward, wanting to see his smiling face. All of a sudden, he felt a small ache come from his finger. Lan WangJi had already opened his eyes. He was staring at him with cold eyes.

And one of Wei WuXian’s fingers was already caught within his mouth.

(wait, no, i’m ALIVE OMG HE COULDN’T CONTROL HIMSELF BUT AT THE SAME TIME WANTED SOMETHING AS PURE AS TO SEE HIS HUSBAND’S SMILE BUT THEN WOPS!, LWJ WAKE UP AND TAKES WWX’S FINGER INTO HIS MOUTH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I CAN’T BREATH-

I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK

GOD

LWJ IS AWAKE AND DRUNK AND OMG THE MARVELOUS, INFINITE POSSIBILITIES THIS GIVES TO WWX.

CH.93 NOW OR ELSE I’LL DIE FOR SURE. I’ll probably die reading it, but IT’S GONNA BE WORTH IT, I CAN FEEL IT.

#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the founder of diabolism #the founder of evil magic #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs novel #mdzs fangirling mode #mdzs ch.92

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ryukoishida · 5 years

Text

WangXian Week 2019 | Day 6: Reunions | In which after 13 years of imprisonment for a crime he didn’t really commit, WWX and LWJ reunited. [Android AU]

Written for WangXian Week 2019 @wangxianweek

Title: Viral [Part Two of Two] Day: 6 – Reunions Summary: After thirteen years of imprisonment, Wei Wuxian is finally reunited with Lan Wangji. Everything has changed, he thinks — this time, for good. [Android AU] Characters/Ships: WangXian; featuring android!Wen siblings, Jiang Cheng, Lan Xichen, android!Lan Sizhui, android!Lan Jingyi Rating: PG-13 A/N: Prequel to “For Man and Machine Alike”.

Read Part One.

“Wei Wuxian… Wei Wuxian! Get up!”

“… Wen Qing? What’s up?” Wei Wuxian rubbed his eyes, still gummed down from sleep. He’d once again fallen slumber at his desk — nothing unusual for the workaholic engineer these days — but his spine and neck ached in sharp, jabbing pain when he stood up, his back slightly hunched from the terrible posture and general exhaustion.

“T-there’s something wrong with Ah-Ning!” Wen Qing, who had been programmed to act composed to perform her tasks as efficiently as possible in all sorts of emergency and stressful scenarios, was pulling her creator’s sleeve in a desperate attempt to make him move faster. Only now did he notice the cuts and tears of her clothes, and her messy hair that fell limply over her forehead. “Please, you have to run a scan on him.”

Wei Wuxian glanced over at her, and saw that the hazel in her eyes was displaying genuine fear for her sibling unit. For whatever reason, Wen Qing had always “felt” a sense of affinity with Wen Ning ever since she “woke up” and started running, as if they were a real family. Wei Wuxian found it fascinating and so decided to leave that setting alone to observe how it would develop. Over the years, the strength of their kinship had only grown sturdier, which was as strange as it was enthralling.

Despite the uproar of the public of how AI and androids should never be mistakenly treated as actual human beings, Wei Wuxian wanted to argue that androids, to a certain extent, could feel and express authentic emotions that were as real to them as they were to humans’ experiences of them.

“What do you mean? Where is he?”

“Downstairs, in the lab. I… I had to lock him up.” Wen Qing almost looked ashamed of herself.

Wei Wuxian didn’t understand the gravity of the situation until he set foot into his laboratory in the basement of his residence: expensive equipment had been shattered and strewn about, and bits and pieces of the projects he’d been working on for the past few months had been scattered into a mess that would take way too long to tidy up and put back together.

“…What the hell happened here?”

He gingerly picked up a fragmented limb of what was to be his next project in the WEN series, an android he’d tentatively named Wen Yuan for the moment. The rest of its body — head, torso, and one of its legs — was still sitting on a steel table in the corner, a tangle of cables thankfully still attached to the various parts of the android, its face oddly peaceful as if it were merely asleep and untouched by the violence around him.

“I-I don’t know!” Wen Qing replied as they approached the room that she’d locked her sibling unit earlier on. From the window, they could see Wen Ning prowling like a caged animal, his kind, green irises turned grey, and his arms transformed into numerous of gun barrels sticking out in odd, sickening angles. “One moment, we were just talking normally, and then the next, he was in complete combat mode.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Wei Wuxian muttered, palm pressing against the window so hard that his skin was turning white. As if he could detect his creator’s presence, Wen Ning slowly turned towards the window, his head twisted into an impossible angle — steel grey irises staring into troubled scarlet ones through the thin layer of glass — as the warfare android advanced towards them, the dark void of the barrels along Wen Ning’s arms aiming directly at his creator and sibling unit.

He opened fire, bullets raining against the window, cracking it but not enough to break through it entirely… yet.

“This makes no sense,” Wei Wuxian pulled Wen Qing back until they could stand as far away from the agitated android who finally broke through the glass and easily jumped over the ledge, bits of broken glass fell to the ground behind him, crisp and deadly. “Only my voice could activate his combat mode.”

He turned sharply to Wen Qing. “Where did he go yesterday? Who came in close contact with him?”

“We gave a presentation and held a demonstration session for newly-recruited cadets at the Lanling military base,” Wen Qing recalled, “that was it.”

“Lanling military base…” Wei Wuxian murmured under his breath, his frown deepening from the mentioning of the name. Just two months ago, he’d received an invitation from his stepsister Jiang Yanli, who’d wanted him to come and celebrate her marriage to Jin Zixuan, a respected lieutenant and grandson of the old general who had total military control of the Lanling province, with the rest of their family and friends.

Wei Wuxian made up an excuse to be absent from the ceremony, but due to this shift in the Jiang and Jin families’ relationship, he found no reason to deny the Lanling government’s request to have his prototype units gave a demonstration for their military’s cadets, especially since the government had invested a lot in Wei Wuxian’s WEN series as well.

“But some of the recruits had been very enthusiastic and curious about Ah-Ning’s composition, and you know how he gets with kids,” Wen Qing tightened her fists by her sides. For an android designed for utter destruction, when he was not in his combat mode, Wen Ning could be worryingly nice to strangers. “One of them must’ve planted something into his system — some sort of spyware or something.”

“We can’t run a scan on him right now,” Wei Wuxian uttered, “not when he’s in this state. But whatever’s been planted within Ah-Ning, it’s changing the codes of his learning algorithms that has overridden his decision-making system and completely superseded the voice-control function.”

Wen Ning was already half way across the room, and he showed no signs of stopping his actions or recognizing his sibling unit and the robotics engineer who built him.

“Unit WEN0411, cease your operations at once!” Wei Wuxian tried, his voice hoarse.

Another step forward. The metallic clinks of his bones and tendons and the blank stare of his unseeing eyes only meant a certain fate: one that ended with the death of his creator and a world of chaos.

“Wei Wuxian…” there was a tremble to her voice when Wen Qing spoke his name, “activate my combat mode.”

“…What?”

“This is the only way you’ll come out of this alive,” Wen Qing continued, her jaw tightening in resolution. Her programmed personality was surfacing again, her codes dictating her to perform the most important duty she was designed to do in the most efficient way possible: she must protect those who were in dire danger so that less damage could be done in total. “I don’t know how many other units have already been infected by Ah-Ning since yesterday, but the virus must be spreading through the city like a wildfire right now, and you’re the one who can put a stop to this.”

“Wen Qing, we don’t have to do this…”

“Yes, we do! You know we do!” Wen Qing shouted, though her sharp gaze remained trained on her sibling unit who she no longer recognized. “You’ve come this far. Don’t start being a coward now.”

So, was this how fragile the affinity between android units truly was? Torn apart by a foreign spyware. Completely erased from their memories due to the presence of a virus that only consumed and modified in frightening speed and fatal precision.

Wei Wuxian shivered as he allowed Wen Qing to shove him back and watched the medic android walking towards Wen Ning. For the first time in his life, he truly feared his own creations that he’d always took pride in.

“Unit WEN0812, activate combat mode.”

vi.

Imprisonment sapped the life and spirit out of most, but it was oddly kind to Wei Wuxian, who, other than looking a little slimmer and the shadows beneath his eyes a little more bruised, looked nothing like a man who’d been in prison for the past six months.

“Guess you were right about me all this time, huh, Lan Wangji?”

“I wish I had been wrong.”

‘I wish I had tried harder.’

“What’s happening out there?”

“The government has issued recalls. Not only of the units you designed, but others that were produced around the same time period.”

“And the LAN series?”

“We’re putting it on hold for now.”

The conversation briefly halted.

Wei Wuxian wanted to apologize; he knew how important the Linear Aegis Nurturer series was to the head engineer of Gusu Robotics, who’d spent the past few years perfecting the codes and blueprints, focusing on the nurturing and social welfare elements, of what he hoped would become an accommodating addition to the community.

He wanted to apologize, but the guilt in him wouldn’t allow it. It had swallowed and consumed everything that he cared about.

“I’ve overestimated my own abilities; I thought I could play God — I thought I was making the world better. I’m such a fucking fool.”

“It’s not your fault. Someone uses your androids to spread the virus and wants to watch the world burn. This isn’t you.”

“But I helped make it happen, even if I hadn’t meant to. I should’ve been able to spot the loophole and patch it, but I didn’t. The fault is all mine.”

“I will find the person who planted the virus.”

“What’s the point?”

Wei Wuxian smiled at him through the thick glass, and Lan Wangji wanted to smash the barrier between them with his bare hands.

“Lan Wangji, will you do something for me?”

“Anything.”

vii.

Wei Wuxian told him about Wen Yuan. The second generation of the WEN series was going to be his attempt to combine elements of a companion android and that of a combatant; the unit was not designed to be used for military or police auxiliaries but for those who were in search for either platonic or romantic partner with some added traits of a protective guardian that had at least as much abilities as a proficient soldier unit.

“I’ve hidden him and some of his core parts in one of the warehouses that the Jiang family owns. Once this craze dies down, will you… will you retrieve him for me and reprogram him?”

“Reprogram him… in what way?”

“In whatever way that you find fitting,” Wei Wuxian smiled wistfully. “I trust your judgement. You’d make him a better android than I ever could.”

“That’s not true.”

Wei Wuxian chose not to argue this time.

Two years and four months had passed when the storm finally dissipated. The initial rage of mass recalls conducted by the government had urged thousands of humans, especially those who were weary of AI’s presence in the first place, to hunt down specific android models gradually dwindled down. Irrationality and terror at last burned itself out, enough that the government had started to restructure the robotics industry with stricter regulations and severe penalties for those who broke the rules.

While the sales and production rates of androids dropped significantly during the two years since Wei Wuxian’s arrest, the market only became more demanding once the restrictions and bans had been lifted.

In a warehouse far from the city center, Lan Wangji found the remains of Wen Yuan. He carefully packed the parts and brought them back to his own laboratory, where he proceeded to finish putting together the hardware of the android unit. The coding, however, proved to be the more challenging portion.

He remembered Wei Wuxian telling him to completely re-program Wen Yuan’s codes, but the foundation was already set, and Lan Wangji wanted to salvage whatever codes that regulated Wen Yuan’s original personality as Wei Wuxian had first intended: loyalty, compassion, and benevolence of a companion android; ferocity, selflessness, and courage of a soldier. It took him more than two years to perfect the codes and programming, and by the time he completed the project, Gusu Robotics had already released a few prototypes of the LAN series androids.

Standing next to the engineer now was one of the first models of the LAN series — unit LAN0168, also known as Lan Jingyi, a childcare assistant android. The initial release of this unit had stirred up two extreme reactions in the spectrum among the consumers and general public: on one hand, many parents, daycare centers, and schools truly appreciated the addition of such efficient assistance in the household and educational settings, but on the other, people who still remembered the slaughter and chaos stemmed from Wei Wuxian’s AI creations contended that these androids would only be a source of unnecessary risk and danger for their children.

Still, the demand for it continued to increase despite some outrage, and LAN0168 quickly became a successful and popular model since its launch.

“Master Lan, who’s this?” Lan Jingyi, who’d remained by his creator’s side since he first started operating several years ago, asked, his boyish curiosity making his eyes light up with a hint of gold. He circled around the unit, which was still “asleep” with its eyes closed, its lips frozen in a very subtle smile as if it were having a pleasant dream.

“LAN0112,” Lan Wangji replied in a quiet tone, and then with a softer, gentler voice, he corrected himself, “Lan Sizhui.”

“What sort of an android is he supposed to be?”

“A companion unit designed to fulfil emotional and sexual needs as necessary, with the user’s choice of having him as either a platonic or romantic companion.”

A perfect partner.

With the help of Lan Jingyi, Lan Wangji unplugged all the wires attached to the sleeping android’s body.

The very last step was to activate the unit, to breathe life into this android.

Using careful, probing fingers, Lan Wangji located the small knob behind the curve of the unit’s right ear. He slid the pad of his index finger across it, and heard a soft click inside the body, followed by quiet whirring hardly discernible even when he was standing this close.

“LAN0112, wake up,” Lan Wangji whispered the command.

One heartbeat. One long, slow exhale.

He opened his eyes gradually, irises honey-toned and gaze as warm as the late summer sun scattering through the green foliage. He focused on the first face he saw, and gave the human a small, timid smile.

“Hello, I am LAN0112, a companion unit of the Linear Aegis Nurturer series by Gusu Robotics. Thank you for choosing me to accompany you. Before we start, would you like to give me a new name?”

“Lan Sizhui,” Lan Wangji said, patting the android on his head gently, and the newly-awaken unit leaned against the tender touch with a quiet hum, like a cat happily and calmly appreciating its owner’s affection. “From now on, your name will be Lan Sizhui.”

viii.

“You know, Lan Wangji, you really don’t have to do this.”

A robotic arm, without any pretense or concealment of artificial skin covering the cold and angular metal, reached out to take the mug of coffee offered by one of the android assistants in Lan Wangji’s personal laboratory.

Thirteen years in prison hadn’t diminished his passion in robotics, but it did make him reconsider his priorities and purpose in his creations. Fellow prisoners did not take lightly to Wei Wuxian’s crimes, and more than once, he was attacked by a group of anti-AI protestors, who were prejudiced against all androids from the start, and targeted Wei Wuxian again and again.

In the hopes of destroying him, they crushed his arms — the essence of his genius artificial intelligence creations — but the pain was nothing compared to what he had put Jiang Yanli and her child through. He’d heard about the news from Jiang Cheng himself — it was the only time he’d visited him during the thirteen years he was in prison — that Jin Ling had become an orphan because Jiang Yanli grew too sick and never recovered after her husband’s death in the war against androids about a year ago.

Jiang Cheng lost his sister because of him.

Jin Ling lost both of his parents because of him.

Losing his arms seemed like nothing compared to the desolate emptiness when your loved ones left you for good.

Wei Wuxian stared at the swirling, milky-brown of his coffee held in his metallic hand The sensors on his fingers allowed him to feel the hard gleam and mild warmth of the ceramic, but he knew he would never be able to touch and feel in the same way as he used to anymore.

Some people would call that irony; others would call it karma; for Wei Wuxain, however, he saw it as rightful punishment for what he’d done.

He didn’t deserve the kindness that Lan Wangji was showing him. It was too much, and Wei Wuxian was unsure of how to act.

“I want to,” Lan Wangji said, tone firm and sincere.

“I mean, I’m honored that you’re offering me a position at Gusu Robotics, but what does your brother think about that? The RAC can’t be happy about it, either — the biggest and most influential robotics company harboring an ex-convict and giving him a job? You’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Brother only considers one’s talents and aspirations; your past does not dictate or define who you are.”

“And the RAC?” Wei Wuxian raised an eyebrow.

“Not important right now,” Lan Wangji assured him.

After a second of stilted silence, Wei Wuxian broke into a wild, booming laugh, and Lan Wangji looked at him bemusedly.

“Never thought I’d live to see the day when you outright defy the RAC,” Wei Wuxian explained through lingering chuckles, and he took a sip of coffee in an attempt to calm himself down. “I’m proud of you, Lan Wangji, really, I am.”

“I’ve found out who planted the virus,” Lan Wangji suddenly said, and the other engineer froze.

“…It’s fine,” Wei Wuxian heaved a soft sigh a moment later after he’d digested the unexpected news, a small smile making the red in his eyes that much subtler, less domineering than they used to be. “I told you, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“I’m just sorry I couldn’t do anything about him,” Lan Wangji said, tone dipped in biting cold, “he’s apparently important enough that the government has made sure no one can compromise him.”

“I don’t want to instigate anything anymore,” Wei Wuxian said, leaning back against the office chair and cradling the warm mug in his lap. “I’ve wasted thirteen years in prison — well, I suppose it wasn’t really a waste since it gave me a lot of time to think, y’know. Too much time, sometimes.” He laughed again, but this time the sound was self-depreciating, bitter, and Lan Wangji wanted to rip that away from him.

“I don’t want to waste more time dwelling on things that I can no longer change.”

“…I understand.”

“Anyway, you said you wanted to show me something? I do love surprises. Well? What is it?” Wei Wuxian had always been good at changing subjects during times like this, and so Lan Wangji let him.

He nodded, and called for someone to come in.

At his creator’s beckoning, an android unit strolled into the lab.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes grew wide with instant recognition.

“Wait… wait a fucking minute… Is that…? Are you…?” Wei Wuxian stood up abruptly and walked towards the android, who was slightly shorter than him.

“Master Wei, I hope you can accept Master Lan’s proposal to stay in Gusu Robotics and work alongside with him,” the android with the face and body of a young man in his early 20’s greeted the engineer with a courteous smile.

“Wen… Yuan?” Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure. The anatomical and facial aspects of the android he designed and built himself thirteen years ago were similar to what he remembered, but the way the android spoke and carried himself — the natural elegance, the pleasant, amiable manner, and the soothing, serene voice — Wei Wuxian could see the shadow of his initial design, but under Lan Wangji’s crafting hands, this second generation of the WEN unit had grown into something else entirely.

“I am called Lan Sizhui now, but Master Lan had told me everything about you,” Lan Sizhui smiled gently at Wei Wuxian, the expression exuding nothing but earnestness and gratitude. “Master Wei, you are my first creator — the one who conceptualized and conceived me originally — but Master Lan took me in, fixed me up and finalized my programming after you requested him to do so, and since then I’ve been staying with Master Lan and helping him as one of his lab assistants.”

“So… what category of android do you belong in?” Wei Wuxian didn’t want to seem rude, so he reined in the awed staring as much as he could, but he could tell — from the color of Lan Sizhui’s eyes to the voice chosen to best fit his personality — that Lan Wangji had poured his heart and soul into this android’s design and programming.

This unexpected joint project of theirs stirred up another rivulet of inspiration inside Wei Wuxian, who’d thought that after thirteen years of being imprisoned, the flow of creativity that used to run in his veins so easily and naturally had been completely sapped dry.

“I’m a companion unit, but unlike previous models of similar units, I have two settings that allow the purchaser to choose from in accordance to their needs and wants,” Lan Sizhui lifted his arm so that his hand, palm facing upwards as if he was offering Wei Wuxian something precious, was at the level of his chest, and a holographic display window appeared above his palm with the words presented thus:

{For your best experience of this unit, please choose from the following settings: Platonic Companion or Romantic Partner.}

“After the user has picked a setting, more details regarding different aspects of my personality and applications can be edited and added according to the user’s tastes and preferences,” Lan Sizhui continued to explain with a pleasant smile.

“And what setting are you in right now?” Wei Wuxian was curious.

“Neither,” Lan Sizhui replied, gathering his fingers into a loose fist to turn off the display. “Master Lan only wishes me to be an assistant and disciple, and has told me that I can continue as thus until I encounter a human deemed important enough to me that I would be willing to let them pick a specific setting for me. Until that day comes, however, I shall happily remain by Master Lan’s side.”

“A human deemed important enough, huh?” Wei Wuxian repeated the phrase thoughtfully, chewing over the subtle meaning of the words as he glanced over at Lan Wangji, who had stayed on the sidelines quietly as he observed the human and the android interact before him.

As their eyes met, Wei Wuxian could see just a hint of a smile from the usually stoic man, the expression simultaneously hopeful, inviting, yet timid as if everything rested on Wei Wuxian’s response to Lan Wangji’s previous offer.

“Sizhui, would you excuse us for a moment?”

“Of course, Master Wei,” Lan Sizhui nodded to both of his creators and left, shutting the door lightly behind him.

Wei Wuxian walked over to where Lan Wangji was sitting, but Lan Wangji made no movement to stand up so that Wei Wuxian seemed to have the advantage of gazing down at him from a significant height. So many years ago, back when he was still a high-spirited teenager — a fearless, over-confident youngster who thought he could defy the laws and conquer the world with ideals alone — he would have done anything to stand tall and tower over someone like Lan Wangji with all his accomplishments and triumphs.

But it took him thirteen years to realize that those kinds of accomplishments and triumphs were mere trifles, shallow and fleeting and eventually left forgotten; they had meant nothing because he had no one to share them with.

He had no one but his androids, and even then… Even then…

He thought about Wen Ning and Wen Qing, and how they were forced to destroy each other in the end. He thought about Wen Yuan — or rather Lan Sizhui — who was given another chance at “living” the way he chose for himself.

With a slightly trembling metallic arm, Wei Wuxian reached out and down towards Lan Wangji’s face, silver fingers delicately cradling the other man’s face. The smooth, icy surface of the steel chilled his skin, and he shivered a little at the gentle touch, his cheeks awash with a hint of rosy pink as he stared up at Wei Wuxian quietly with eyes ablaze with unbridled devotion.

“Sorry,” Wei Wuxian whispered an apology, voice hoarse and low, thinking that Lan Wangji disliked the cold, metallic touch, but just as he was about to retrieve his hand back, Lan Wangji wrapped his fingers tautly around his wrist and pulled him down.

And he thought he was falling, his mind reeling from the abrupt feeling of vertigo.

Wei Wuxian only registered the temperature of the other man’s skin against his own metallic coating with a half-second delay, but then it hit him too suddenly, too much, and they were breathing into each other, face to face, mouths almost colliding.

“Lan Wangji…”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, lifting Wei Wuxian’s hand to place his palm against his own cheek once more, and Wei Wuxian smiled at him, soft and affectionate.

“Lan Wangji,” he called his name again, enjoying how the syllables rolled off his tongue and leaving a sweet aftertaste in his mouth.

“Mn?”

“Thank you for what you’ve done with Wen—with Sizhui. He seems like a good kid.”

“He is,” Lan Wangji assured him.

“And…”

“And?”

“I would love to stay, if your invitation still stands.”

“For you, always.”

#wangxianweek2019 #mdzs #gdc #wangxian #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #bowie's crappy writing

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