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afishcalledfatin · 5 years

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Dr KIM

ALL MY COVERS HAVE THE NAME ‘INSOMNIAC’ BECAUSE IT WAS FROM MY OTHER ACCOUNT!!

Summary: Doyoung, the straight-forward oncologist who won’t hesitate to tell someone off struggles to admit his feelings for the fellow who is a great listener.

Pairing: doctor!doyoung x fem reader

Genre: fluff

• A oncologist, one of the best in the country

• Won’t hesitate to say what he feels to anyone including Dr Lee Donghyuck

• But fails cause Donghyuck claps back

• also cause for some reason, Doyoung can’t defeat him in A N Y T H I N G.

• “Once… just once let me win.” “Hmm, let me think about it… HAHAH SIKE YOU WERE FOOLED.”

• Part of the “handsome doctors” group

• Has the cleanest office

• Will lint roll his furniture.

• Has a mini fridge, kettle and snack stash cause he hates leaving his office unless he has too.

• “Ah hyung, let’s go get some muffins!” “Do I look like I have the energy to get some muffins?”

• Will not be scared to tell someone off especially if their being disrespectful.

• Absolutely hates it when someone looks down on others just cause they think they have power.

• “Just cause you’re his senior doesn’t give you the right to call him useless. That’s basic knowledge. Learn to respect others if you demand it so much.” *AIR HORN BLARING IN THE BACKGROUD*

• Working with him is cool cause he’s very detailed in his work

• Will want to know every symptom of every patient.

• Which kind of sucks for the residents but hey! It’s good experience to get scolded by Dr Kim once in a while.

• The rest of the guys gave him the nickname Bunny Prince because of the way he eats. Hated it at first but it grew on him.

• “Aw, is our lil’ bunny prince enjoying his carrot sticks?” he would sigh and roll his eyes. “Yes, Taeil~”

• Barely changes his hair colours like Dr Seo and Dr Moon.

• Which is why almost half the staff in the oncology department was shocked to see light brown hair.

• He lost a bet to Donghyuck… sigh

• But dyed it back to black soon after

• He did dye his hair alot when he was younger but now he sticks to black and brown.

• Favourite drink is caramel coffee.

• Loves watches.

• Idk I see him as a guy who would love collecting watches as a hobby

• Would be super proud about his collection.

• Flexing a new one by rolling up his sleeves to his elbows.

• Okay but imagine tho. Oh damn

• He also likes to collect candles.

• Would change the candles according the season

• “Ahhh, autumn mornings.”

• Loves spring time the most though

• For some reason he and Dr Lee are always bickering???

• “Yah! Stop hogging the soju.” “If you stop taking all the good chicken parts then I’ll consider giving you some.” “I swear to god Doyoung, I’ll steal your candles.” “YOU TOUCH THEM AND I’LL GIVE MIN JAE A BUCKET OF CANDY. SUFFER.” “YOU WOULDN’T DARE!” “TRY ME.”

• (Who is Min Jae you ask? Well, click on Dr. LEE to find out!)

• He’s one of the busiest among the group

• Besides him not leaving his office, he’s always with his patients or in the OR.

• He sometimes get emotionally attached to some of his patients.

• Which is sad especially since… well you’ll find out soon.

• He always visits his patients, no matter what.

• When he is free, especially if they’re young and if they’re parents aren’t around, he would stay with the patient and just talk.

• “Doctor… will I die?” the teenager asked, tears forming. Doyoung automatically grabbed his hand. “Hey, hey, I know you’re scared but you need to be strong okay? Don’t think of all the bad things and just focus and being healthy and happy. Please, stay strong.” He tightly held onto the young boy’s hand.

• The rest of the guys understand and don’t pester him as much.

• Doyoung has gone on dates before but he never really saw himself with those girls.

• Until you walked in.

• You were doing your fellowship at that hospital. You walked in slightly nervous to meet your seniors.

• You were greeted by one of the nurses, Jaemin.

• “Oh, Dr Kim is in charge around here. Have you met him before?”

• “Sort of? I’ve attended his seminars before.”

• Jaemin’s eyes widen. “That’s cool! I’ve always wanted to attend but-”

• “Jaemin, you don’t have to attend my seminars. You can come and personally see me. I have no problem with that.” You and Jaemin turned to hear to see Dr Kim leaning on one of the pillars.

• He walked to you taking big steps.

• “Welcome Dr Y/L/N. I’m Dr Kim. Nurse Na, you can go now.” Jaemin walked away, leaving you with Dr Kim.

• “Follow me.” He said. You walked behind him, staring at his shoulders.

• “Holy crap, his shoulders are so wide.” You thought.

• “Thank you, I workout as much as I can.” You face palm.

• You have the habit of accidentally saying your thoughts. Which leads you into funny situations.

• It was your first day and you were already embarrassing yourself.

• “Sorry… bad habit.” You muttered.

• You worked alongside Dr Kim, assisting him in surgeries. It’s been 5 months and you don’t know anything about him.

• He was very quiet. He would only talk to you when he had to.

• “Dr Y/L/N, we need to visit the VIP ward.” He said, quite begrudgingly.

• The VIP ward wasn’t always so bad but because of Dr Kim’s straight forward nature, he always hated visiting it because there would always be some rich guy commenting about how bad the facilities are or how he isn’t being treated good enough and he would just like to set them straight but he doesn’t want to deal with it after that.

• You don’t say much during these visits either.

• You were seeing a patient who just had a tumour removed. It was quite big but thankfully it could be fully removed.

• “Yah! You doctors really don’t know how to treat me better huh? How dare you serve me this crap. I can’t even stand the sight of it.” As he pushed the food away.

• Dr Kim sighed, “Good morning to you too, Director Choi. How are you feeling?” He looked through the charts. He then passed it to you. The patient kept on being rude to Dr Kim but all he could do was smile. You always disliked coming to this certain patient.

• “Awful! Dreadful! You don’t even realise, my money is going to your salaries! Me being here is the reason you’ll be able to find food this week. I demand for better food.” He whined like a child after a tantrum.

• Jeez, I wish the anaesthesiologist had increased the dose. He won’t shut up.

• Doyoung looked at you wide eyed. Nurse Zhong and Na had to hold in their laughter.

• “HAHAH SHIT IM SCREWED I DID IT AGAIN DIDNT I?” you actually thought this time.

• “EXCUSE ME? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M THE DIRECTOR OF-”

• “And? Look, sir I know who you are.” You have had enough of this guy. “But bare in mind, this doctor you keep insulting sort of gave you a longer life span. If he did-”

• “Dr Y/L/N.” Dr Kim said sternly.

• “Don’t interrupt me. As I was saying, you’re in a hospital. Not a hotel. I’m sorry the food isn’t up to par with your exquisite palate but that’s all we have. We wouldn’t want you to starve now, would we? At your age, you shouldn’t be so angry all the time. It’s not good for you. So, I’d advise you to stop being so rude and start being nicer to those who are helping you.”

• Everyone in the room looked at you with their mouths hanging.

• “Is that all? Well Nurse Na, Nurse Zhong please check on him hourly. Keep giving the same meds. Call me or Dr Kim if you notice anything strange. Thank you and have a nice day.” You walked out.

• You quickly walked towards the elevator before you felt a hand tug you sharply.

• You were pushed against the wall with his hands caging you.

• (CUE CHEESY KOREAN MUSIC)

• “Care to explain what just happened? You just risked the entire oncology department and your job here, I deserve to know why you were so reckless.” He said. You winced at the sharp tone.

• “Gladly. He was being rude, I told him off. That’s all.” You tried to escape but he wasn’t letting you.

• “Dr Y/L/N, if you take one more step I won’t hesitate to-” you could see he was stressed.

• “Dr Kim, I don’t think you realised what just happened. You were insulted by a patient for something you have no control over. You always stand up for the bullied but why won’t you let someone do that for you? Why won’t you say anything? Cause he’s rich? Money can only bring us so far, in the end it’s nothing but paper we humans are all obsessed with.”

• He stared at you. He didn’t know how to reply, he barely knew you but it seemed like he was looking at someone he’s known for years. His hands slowly fell to his sides and he took a step back.

• “Now, if you’ll excuse me I have a phone call to make.”

• Even with that powerful speech you just made, you freaked the hell out and called for your mom.

• “Mom, I think I might get fired.” “BEHSHSHS SWEETIE WHAT’S WRONG?” you began to cry and explain to her what happened.

• News spread fast and before you knew it, people stared at you left and right.

• You were having lunch with Dr Jung and Dr Dong.

• “Y/N, you’ve been quite the topic for the last week.” Sicheng popped a grape into his mouth.

• You groaned. Dr Kim avoided you even more now, replying dryly when you asked him things.

• You hit your head onto the table and made an incoherent noise.

• “Is she okay?” Johnny sat beside you.

• “The gossip is getting to her.” Sicheng explained. Johnny pat your head, “Poor Y/N.” He cooed.

• “Dr Kim probably hates me now.” You say. Yuta suddenly appeared beside you.

• “Doyoung? Nahh. He was just shocked that you had it in you.” Yuta pulled a chair and placed his tray down.

• You sat up. “Huh?”

• “Well, Doyoung has been wanting to shut that old geezer up but he was scared. When you did it, he was in a mix of relieved and worried. He was worried that the oncology department would get into trouble and that you might lose your job.” Jaehyun told.

• “Then explain why he’s been avoiding me.” You grumbled.

• “Probably cause he doesn’t know how to talk to you. Especially after what you said to him.” Sicheng piped in.

• “He told you what I said?” they all nod. “He didn’t realise it himself but after you smacked him with facts, it kind of dawned onto him.”

• “Y/N, why don’t you try approaching him?” Johnny suggested. “Look, he may seem cold and distant but he’s actually a very emotional person. He’s just really awkward especially around girls.”

• “No way.” You said. “I’m not joking. Seriously after Soo-” Jaehyun tuts.

• “What? Who?” you asked. Jaehyun eyed the rest of them. “We shouldn’t. Maybe Doyoung would tell you if he wants to.”

• You nod and left the group to put your plate.

• “Seriously Johnny, Doyoung told us not to tell anyone about Soo Young. Nobody knows but us and the girls.” Jaehyun said. You continued to hear them but decided to leave.

• (Yeah, this happened after the other guys had girlfriends/wives. Read the others here!)

• You walked past the cafe when you thought of something.

• You knocked on his office door and waited for him to allow you to come in.

• “Come in.” You heard. When you opened the door, his eyes was on his laptop. His tie was loosened and his sleeves were rolled to his elbows. A beautiful Mont Blanc adorning his wrist.

• “Dr Kim?” he looked up and you saw his eyes widen a bit.

• “What is it?” he said tiredly

• You slid the caramel coffee and peach cookies to him.

• He eyed them and raised an eyebrow.

• “I get why you’re probably avoiding me. It was totally unprofessional of me to say that to a patient and I know it risked the department and you. But this isn’t a apology because I’m not sorry for what I did. It had to be done.” You said. You didn’t know if that was the suitable thing to say but it felt right.

• “Y/N…” you looked up. That was the first time he called you by your first name.

• “You have no idea how happy I was when you got him to shut up.” He took a cookie and bit into it. He gave you one and you ate it quietly. You avoided eye contact and saw his wrist watch.

• “That’s a nice Mont Blanc by the way. Mont Blanc Bohème, right?” you asked. He looked at you, quite surprised.

• “Yeah it is. How did you know?” “Well, my dad collected watches and this was his favourite.” “Funny, this is my favourite too.” You both sat quietly, avoiding eye contact.

• “Look, I know I may seem… cold but I’m just not used to having friends of the opposite gender. I’m still a bit awkward with the other guys girlfriends. I wanted to try to be friends with you but I didn’t know where to start.” He said. You smiled. You dust off any crumbs on your hands and stretched out your hand.

• “Well, hi. I’m Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to meet you.” He chuckled and grabbed your hand. He shook it, flashing a gummy smile. “I’m Kim Doyoung. Nice to meet you too.”

• That was when your friendship began.

• “Doyoung, let’s gooo.” “Y/N, give me a few minutes. I’m arranging my candles.” “OH I WANNA HELP!”

• You often saw his gummy smile

• you also understood why the guys called him Bunny Prince.

• “DOYOUNG YOU REALLY ARE A BUNNY! YOU LOOK SO CUTE WHEN YOU EAT.” “Yes, Y/N, I think we established that.” He said.

• You two became the best of buds.

• His mom LOVES YOU. SHE’S ALWAYS ASKING ABOUT YOU AND GIVING YOU FOOD.

• “Son, give this to Y/N. I’m worried she isn’t eating enough.” “Hey mom, how about me? Y'know, YOUR SON???”

• But your mom loves him too.

• “Aigoo, what a handsome boy Doyoung is! Y/N, you got lucky.” “MOM DHDHDHSHSH.”

• Johnny was right, Doyoung is very emotional.

• Sometimes, you’d sit together and he’d tell you what happened. His head on your shoulder as you played with his hair.

• “This old lady I operated on, her granddaughter came today.” You hum. “She came to tell me that her grandmother passed away.” You breathed in, you could feel the sadness radiating off of him. You felt a tear drop onto your hand. You wiped the tears that stained his cheek.

• “She… she- even after she recovered, she visited me and she would tell me how happy she was. She’d come with homemade rice cakes and she’d always tell me to find a girlfriend.” He chuckled. You continued to stroke his hair, trying to calm him down.

• “Thank you for always listening Y/N.” He sniffled. “Sometimes, I just want someone to listen me. I don’t want advice or help. I just want to let it out.” You smiled at him.

• You’d also go to him when you’re having a rough day. Doyoung would always ask “Do you want me to listen or do you want my advice?” and usually you’d ask for advice.

• Both of you usually seeked out for each other during rough times.

• Usually, Doyoung just wants to be heard.

• As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he did start to have feelings for you.

• Doyoung struggled with his feelings alot but he really couldn’t ignore the ones he had for you.

• He didn’t have to act differently with you. When he went on those dates he felt like he had to act a certain way but with you, he was himself. He also loved how true you were and how you believed that there is no such thing as being greater than others. You also stood up for others.

• On a fine spring day, you were walking around. Looking for Doyoung.

• “Hey, Taeyong have you seen Doyoung?” he thought about it before he let out an ‘Ahhh’.

• “He’s coming back soon, don’t worry. Today is pretty important for him.” He left you.

• You went on with your day, constantly checking for the time.

• Since today was an important day for him, you didn’t want to bother him. So you didn’t call or message him.

• The sky was turning a beautiful orange when you walked into doctors room to take a nap.

• You twisted the doorknob when you saw Doyoung sitting on the bed… in a suit?

• “Oh hey, I was wondering where you went.” You happily said.

• When you got closer only did you realise his bloodshot eyes and his red nose.

• “Doyoung? Is everything okay?” you stood in front of him. He pulled you down and hugged you, both of you now lying down in bed.

• He began to sob and his grip on you tighten. You rubbed circles on his back, letting him cry everything out.

• You both eventually took a nap together.

• When you woke up, you were confused about the tight grip on your waist.

• You turn around to face Doyoung. You pushed some of his hair away from his face.

• “Today… is the anniversary for a patient of mine, Soo Young.”

• Your mind went back to the time Johnny nearly told you before Jaehyun stopped him.

• You listened attentively.

• “Scratch that, she wasn’t just a patient. She was… my first love.”

• “She had a tumour in her brain. I remembered, I stayed with her on some days because she was alone. At first, I saw her as any other patient until…”

• Flashback

• “Hey, hey. It’s just a nightmare, you’re okay.” Doyoung said. Soo Young grabbed his hand. “Please… stay with me.”

• Many weeks pass and the doctors were still monitoring her. Both of them had created a beautiful bond. He’d visit her during his breaks and she’d ask him about his day.

• “Dr Kim, come have some strawberries!” she fed him some and he loved seeing her healthy again. “Soo Young… y'know you’ll be able to leave soon right?” he asked. She excitedly nod. “Yes! Oh, I’m so excited to see my room and my dog again.” She cheered. Her innocence was what captivated Doyoung. He wanted to protect her from the evil of this world.

• “Should I wear a wig or something?” “Why?” “I’m… I’m scared of the girls at my neighbourhood. They used to call me names.” Doyoung quickly stroked her cheek. “You’re so beautiful and kind, those bullies are missing out on an amazing person.” She smiled so wide and gave him a hug.

• “Doctor, can we still see each other even after I leave?” she asked shyly. He held her hand and she looked up at him. “Of course.” She squealed and gave him a hug.

• 6 months later, and they were happy together. Soo Young was still visiting the hospital for her check ups.

• “Doyoung~” “Yes my princess?” he asked, he watched the love of his life happily eat her sandwich.

• “I have to tell you something.” He hummed, waiting for her. “I’m very happy that… I didn’t die because of the tumour.” He was shocked. “Yah! Don’t stay stuff like that.” She giggled.

• “No, no listen to me. I’m happy that I didn’t lose my youth to cancer. I’m happy that I got to be with you. I hope we can be together forever.” She held onto his hand, her big eyes was filled with love.

• “I’m happy too, princess.” She smiled happily. “Well, I have to get back to work. I’ll see you tonight, okay?” he looked at his watch.

• “Oh, okay.” He got up and quickly walked away, worried he’ll be late. He was in the elevator when he heard her call.

• “Doyoung, I love you!” she did a heart above her head. He nodded quickly and the elevator shut.

• He had an amazing mood, he even visited the emergency ward to see Johnny that evening.

• “Ah, what brings you here Dr Kim?” he teasingly asked. “What, I can’t see my best friend?” they both laughed, before Johnny’s phone rang.

• He picked it up and before he knew it, his smile turned into a worried frown.

• “What?” Doyoung raised a brow.

• “It’s another drunk driver.” Johnny’s attention quickly went to the sound of the ambulance siren going off. Doyoung waited for the patient, wondering what happened.

• The ambulance arrived and the stretcher rolled down the hall. Johnny was giving orders.

• “She was hit by a drunk driver. Her name is Park Soo Young. Please call her guardians.” At the sound of this, Doyoung’s head snapped back so fast.

• “Soo… Soo Young?” he ran to the stretcher.

• Blood was covering her entire body. Her body limp and clearly struggling to hold on.

• “She’s lost a lot of blood. We need to hurry.” Johnny said to the residents.

• Doyoung followed them behind, Mark pulled him back.

• “Doyoung, you can’t-” Mark tried to hold him back. “LET ME GO, MARK. PLEASE LET ME GO.” he saw Johnny and the rest trying to bring her back. The defibrillator at work. Increasing as time goes by.

• “SOO YOUNG! SOO YOUNG!” Doyoung was crying her name.

• The sound of a long beep caused his heart to shatter.

• “No… no. She can’t be..”

• “Park Soo Young. Time of death, 9:30 pm.” Johnny sadly took off his mask.

• Doyoung couldn’t comprehend it, the noises around him were blurred and movements were slowed down.

• Before it hit him, his chest was clenching and tears began to fall.

• Johnny had gone out of the room and hugged Doyoung. Doyoung cried, violently shaking.

• “I… I didn’t even say it. I DIDN’T TELL HER I LOVED HER. I… I….” He cried into his best friend’s shoulder.

• Ever since then… Doyoung had felt numb. Like a part of him was missing.

• “That’s what happened.” He told. You didn’t know how to reply.

• “She… she was happy she wasn’t going to die young.” He sniffled.

• You and him stayed in that position until you both decided it was time to get up. You both sat down quietly. “I’m okay now though.” You smiled at him.

• “Doyoung, I don’t know what you’re going through right now but just know, I’ll be here for you. Always.”

• You also had feelings for him but you were scared. Scared of rejection. His squeal when he gets his favourite foods or his little pout when you bother him. The way his laugh warms your heart and how his smile could light up your world.

• “Doyoung, I…” he turned around. “I’m going to go check on Mrs Park.” You quickly got up.

• After the time he told you about Soo Young, you’ve been avoiding him like the plague.

• BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU SEE HIM YOU WANT TO CONFESS YOUR LOVE AND YOU AREN’T READY.

• HE’S SUPER SAD AND CONFUSED LIKE WHY IS SHE AVOIDING ME??? Y/N WHY YOU AVOIDING HIM???

• “now is not the time Y/N, just focus on your work and tell Doyoung later.”

• “Tell me what later?” he scared you. You jumped and screamed a little.

• “Uh, nothing.”

• “Well, tell me why you’re avoiding me then?” he booped your nose.

• “Oh… uh… well I just… HNGGGG.” You plop onto the floor and he panicked a little.

• “Uhm, Y/N I love you but can you not sit in the middle of the way?” you look at him with wide eyes.

• “YoU- HSVAHS HOW DID YOU SAY THAT SO EASILY???” he looked at you confused.

• “FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS I’VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY THAT TO YOU BUT I CAN’T.”

• “What word?” “THAT THAT WORD.” “WHAT WORD??” “I LOVE YOU!”

• The entire floor stopped and went quiet. All eyes on you.

• “What?” “I… I love you Kim Doyoung. I know you can never love me like how you loved Soo Young but just know that… you have my heart.”

• You got up to leave and you were walking away, slightly teary eyed.

• “Yah!” he pulled your hand. You turned around so fast and before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

• His soft lips moved against yours as you kissed back. The sound of cheers and clapping around you.

• When he separated from you, he looked at you with a smile.

• “Yes, I couldn’t love you like how I loved Soo Young but I love you too. Alot. Alot more than you think.” You grinned at his cheesy comment and kissed him back.

• “Stop being so cute and kiss me already.” “My pleasure.” He said as he kissed you again, you both smiling into the kiss.

Hello~ did you guys like it? I don’t actually know how the medical world works, I only know the basics. I deeply apologize if there are mistakes. I also apologise if I’ve offended anyone in any way.

Credits to owner of the photo.

#nct fluff #nct blurbs #nct drabbles #nct scenarios #nct soft hours #nct imagines #nct 127 #kim doyoung #doyoung fluff #doyoung boyfriend material #doyoung blurbs #doyoung drabbles #doyoung scenarios #doyoung soft icons #doyoung imagines

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faunusrights · 4 years

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OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

She chose not to dwell on it.

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in.

[...]

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are.

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke.

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.”

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

#liveblog #rwby #offal hunt

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demonic-imposter · 3 years

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(Vent because holy fucking shit I need to scream somewhere)

(Disclaimer: I'm safe. Everything is just way too much and I don't really have any outlet rn. Was promised a therapist but once again our contact person has decided to disappear, so that's not happening rn apparently)

So like- adults keep being all "oh, I'm sure you and your dad will work it out eventually" and I get it. They relate to my dad, so they'll try to put themselves in his place. A lot of them probably have kids and have done stuff to their kids they're not proud of and they wouldn't like to be in my dad's position, but do they fucking ask why? No. And sure I'm being dramatic for just cutting him out of my life but like- I fucking cant rn. I already want to die and already hate myself as it is and I cant deal with all of the pressure that comes with trying to be his and my stepmom's perfect "daughter". I can't. Dear fucking dad. You kept telling me I should never let anyone pressure me into trying to lose weight, yet you're the reason I went for long periods of the day hungry because I was afraid of being fat. I still fucking do that shit. Because you told me I had gotten too fat. I was a fucking child and you told me I was too fat. Fucking thank you for that. I had a panic attack when someone suggested i should start working out because all I could hear was that i had gotten too fat and I can barely run around people because all I hear is you and my stepmom mocking me for being out of breath and all that translates into is that I'm fat. Yesterday I went without eating for about 6 hours. That was without breakfast so it's really longer, but from I woke up until I actually ate. I felt dizzy and almost lost my balance at one point. I also weighed myself, obsessed over trying to figure out whether I was overweight or not. Felt proud that I was close to underweight. Kept hoping I'd find some fucking page that would say that I was underweight. I felt proud for all of that bs. Apparently my body fat is too low. Halle-fucking-lujah.

Dear dad, you say that you don't recognize all the problems they're describing at the psyk. You say that it doesn't sound like the happy girl you knew. I'm not a girl but thanks. I didn't feel like I could come to you because for as long as I can remember you've taught me that mental illness is wrong and that people are just being lazy. You didn't have to say it with those words. You said it about my mom. You wouldn't hear any other story than the one in your head and it sorta seems like that's still the page we're on.

Dear dad, you say you weren't angry but you said you were in the message you sent me. You said you were angry and disappointed and worried about my absence from school. You were angry because I included mom and not you. Tbh I didnt want to tell mom either, partly because you pushed me against her, but also because she really couldn't and cant take it. I had to because otherwise I couldn't go to the doctor. Calm down?

Also why the fuck couldn't you message me to tell me to get my stuff? My stepmom had to? And she had to deadname me? Thanks

And you know what- dear mom, I'm not your friend. I'm your son and I want to die basically every week. I'm so overwhelmed by the smallest ammount of stuff and you venting to me is not helping that. I understand that you need someone to talk to, but you know what? I dont think that should be me. It has always been me and you know what? I really dont have the energy to be the mom in this relationship and just... please stop treating me like a friend. I'm not your equal. I'm your child. I'm tired. You feel guilty about me being like this because you feel like it's your fault and honestly it partly is. I have had too big of a burden on me since I was a kid and it's never going away it seems. I can't deal with that.

Dear void. I want to die, but I won't because my mom will blame herself and if she fucking tries to kill herself that'll devastate my brother and he can't be alone. My mom keeps talking about our relationship as if it's just this equal thing where I listen to her problems and she listens to mine. Sure, I'm totally not her responsibility in some way but okay let's just talk about how it's bad for your mental health that I finally admitted after 10 years that I'm not doing so Gucci. Everyone keeps saying they didn't see it and like- no shit. You didn't create a space where it felt safe to show it and you still don't. I tried to tell you but words aren't enough apparently. When I was 9 I used to fantasize about killing myself so my mom would realize she loved me, but honestly now I just want peace. I'm not even sure she'd react the way 9 year old me would've needed her to either way. After all, she didn't do anything that day when she thought I was gonna leave. Why not?

#suicidal thoughts tw #suicidal thoughts #tw suicidal thoughts #vent #negative #personal #death mention #tw suicide #suicide mention

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scorpcorpse · 4 years

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5/18/20 - type time 732-822pm

so yesterday i went on tinder just like i always do when im feeling extra bored and lonely. well anyway i matched with cute looking boy so he messages me.

PS im writing all of this here because i feel weird telling my friends what was all said. i told them a bit but not everything.

so we end up talking, and surprisingly it was a good conversation. it was very random though. im laughing and smiling at my phone. my conversations die fast or are about topics i dont really care for. im always into the conversation though no matter what especially because i like talking to people. moving on, you cant send picture on tinder so he sends me his number while reassuring me that he wont be sending dick pics (yay). he’s ranting on and on, flooding my phone with compliments. we’re talking this whole quarantine to him thanking the universe he’s glad he’s talking to a person who is pretty and cool. we talk about all the weird interactions we’ve had on this app and how everyone is soooo horny. he goes to tell me he loves my hair, he says i look like the type of girl, in a show, if i had just gone through hell, and i were to run my fingers through my hair it would just fall back into over my face so perfectly. i was like wtf. i didnt know what to say because that is very very very far from the truth. i would just look like hell. we go on to talk about our personalities and whether we are more introverted or extroverted. he’s more introvert while im more extrovert. i told him though it kind of changes depending on the situation like if i was on a date or getting serious with a person. we talk about how we hate it when people are mean to others by telling others to be quiet when theyre being too loud when it isn’t bothering anyone (does that make sense) like if youre having a good time by yourself and someone tells you to shut up or be quiet because it’s annoying them. he said he would never ever tell me to be quiet. he’s only really loud when he’s excited or passionate about something. we talk more of our dating life, he has a bigger dating pool than me though. he asks me again for the fifth time later; how am i doing, are you bangin, are you sewing sweaters? he wants to know everything. this all has me confused and intrigued. is it weird that i feel like he is very interested in actually talking to me. he asks me if i would be willingly to break quarantine to hang out. i tell him quarantine is okay eh.. im holding up okay, i do need to worry about my big head that only has two brain cells left. i also tell him im the biggest broke bitch he’ll ever meet. he says i wont ask you to pay for anything so dont worry your big head. he understands i dont want to go out. he says we can just talk and hangout over facetime. he proceeds to ask if he can ft me right now. its 2am and i look like a fucking mess. i say im a catfish he says fuck it, im half awake and im not looking for looks. next thing i know he’s calling. we talk for three hours.

what happens in those next three hours is weird. i dont even know what happened. well immediately i ask him about his tattoos so he gives me the whole run down of his tattoos on his arms. there super cool i like them. my favorite word is yuck and apparently that’s his too because he has that tattooed on his wrist. the meaning is sad kind of he said thats how he felt about himself when he was younger so that drove him to doing that tattoo to himself. he has another arm tattoo where he throws a small detail of him having it to remind him of his friend, his old life of being on the streets and being addicted to drugs. this threw me off because he brushed over it like it was nothing. i didn’t know what else to say. i said uh okay. i wanted to scream are you okay? are you sober now? how are you? but nothing came out. he talks of his other tattoos. conversation changes to him complimenting me again. he wants to see my while face instead just my eyes and nose. i tell him about piercings. he talks about his band. he talks about the punk community. he’s rambling but it doesn’t bother me because i like how soft and soothing his voice is. he continues telling me how pretty i am, like he doesn’t stop for like two minutes. at this point i tell him im not going to respond to you anymore, im not going to take it. he tells me to take it. i take it. i dont believe him though. he can’t see my body, he can barely see my face. i have ance and my face is fat. i know i look disgusting. as he continues to say nice things about me i feel like he’s lying because no one does that. i feel like he’s saying to just make fun of me. im hating all of this. i try not to blush. im smiling. i always change the subject when he makes me feel weird and uncomfortable by saying okay or alrighty anyway. he asks me where are you from, whats make me, me? i try to think of things to say. i tell him about my being in california with no family. i tell him that the one thing that matters the most to me if my relationship with my little sister and all my friends. he agrees because same. he goes on to relate and tells me he’s all alone too. he tells me his dad is gone, his mom is too. he’s an alcoholic. he’s sober now he’s been sober for a year now. he’s okay. i tell him im sorry. im proud of you and how far you have come. im always here if you want to talk. he says no no no no dont say any of that stuff. i tell him again and that i mean it. i really do mean it too. (IF NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE AND YOURE STILLING READING THANK YOU AND ILY, IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH OBSESSIVE OR ADDICTIONS please be there for them, it gets super hard to be there but try and help them push through another day) we go on to more random talking. before i finally get sleepy and he says he’s gonna let me go and sleep. he asks if we can see each other. he tells me when he first saw me he wanted to fuck me but he knew that wouldn’t make him feel any better. he’d still be alone. he then decided to message me because he actually felt like putting in the effort to get to know me. not just for sake of fucking me but to know me like he seems to do a little now. he doesn’t much know about me though. he asks if we can talk tomorrow. he says i hope we can actually meet up and im totally cool with just hanging out with you and just vibing. we dont have to do anything. i just want to chill with you. i tell him thanks for telling me all of this. i appreciate it because many guys dont say any of this. i say yes we can talk tomorrow, i’ll text you. we can be friends and once this all settles down maybe we can meet in person. he then tells me, im only going to say this once and im never going to remind you again. im cool with friends with you but that’s not my intention. i want to be more than friends, i want to your person, your boyfriend. but until youre ready after a while of us talking and when it crosses your mind where you like me and think of me differently then we can move on to being more. i was just sitting starring at my phone in shock. i didnt know what to do or say. i was confused. in my mind i wss like okay yes we have a 2 hour text convo and a 3 hour phone call but what. you cant say of this after that can you. i agreed because it was the only that could come out of my mouth at the time. he says okay, my name, i’ll you go and sleep. goodnight. i tell him goodnight. we hang up the phone. now i turn my body around to my back on the bed starring at the ceiling saying what the hell just happened. i fall asleep.

IM sORRY for my ramble. i was in shock and im confused and scared like what if turns out to be bad for me. but all the compliments, the soothing voice, the small hints well actually big hints of his battle with addiction. ps he also tells me about his anger issues and therapy. i feel weird. i slowly started to be seduced by him, like he started to seduce me. iykyk lmao.

#rant #ramblings #scared shitles #addiction #new guy #ana #bulimja #skiny girl #i'm sad #loneliest #quarantine

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stories-about-cheating-women · 6 years

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It started when I was 17, I previously had no sexual experiences. I had kissed girls but really lacked female interaction but was desperate for it. So when I met a girl who was attractive, who actually liked me. It was really mind blowing and I dont know why. But she was one of the very few attractive women who found me attractive. She ended up latching on to me. The kind of girl who wears thongs, yoga pants and has a nice ass. Just

amazing and was so lucky to have found her. By chance. We started officially dating a month into seeing eachother. She told me this story once when she was a bit drunk about how she was giving a blowjob and how he "Came within like 20 seconds because he didnt get off for days and I ended up choking on it and I coughed it all out and made a huge mess"

This really felt like I got hit in the gut, while I knew she had dated before just hearing that was hard. Mostly because she didnt give me head for the first couple months so I assumed when she did it, it was her first time. While she was good at it, I assumed "Natural ability" but I was wrong. Because I never had much expirences with women and it felt like she was all I had and it just hurt that another guy had this experience with her. It also took me a while to cum from a blowjob, probably cause I was a chronic fapper and never came much. (But at the time never realized this)

But all I knew was this guy was insanely sensitive and must have felt everything inside her mouth and to just explode like that, he had a more intense experience with her then I did cause she was always unimpressed with how little I came. I tried to save up for a few days but then she just wouldnt give me head, she only did it once in a while.

Anyway she talked about this "Friend" a few times we will call him mike. "You should meet my friend he LOVES the same music you do, you guys would get along so well" and I didnt think anything of it. She has guy friends, whatever. Now I feel this is important to note. She lived in another area of the city then I did. She went to school by her house. Of course her friends live close by too. So we were out after going to her house and we went out and shes like "Lets go see if my friend mike is home" And on the way there she said "Aww.." I asked

"What?" she said "Nothing" I kept asking and she said "No you will be mad" I told her I wouldnt be and I just want to know. Then she just said flat out "This is the guy who gave me a mouthful of cum" hearing that, I was devastated. Felt like I got a big hit right in the gut. Because I

assumed she did that with an guy she was dating. But no, it was "Just a friend!" and one she never dated and was still friends with!? It destroyed me mentally, I felt like crying. Also I seen this guys Facebook and he was obviously very good looking but even more maddening, he had like 20 different selfies with girls. So it felt like why did he have to mess with my future girl??? Just disturbing. I felt like I might fight this guy, and get my ass kicked. Just cause I was so upset and pissed that they did this. Thankfully he was never home when we went.

A few months later snooping in her facebook messages when she left it open. I went to the messages between her and mike. While yes, it did seem it was before we were dating. It angered me how easy it was for him, they barely talked on facebook and he just said "Hey you should come over" and she would reply "Of course :)" and she would go over and suck his dick. While I had to wait months. It just utterly, destroyed my selfesteem and was truamatizing to know. Especially cause they go to the same school, so they talk in the hallways and it angered me knowing they still talk after he gave her a mouthful of cum. Theres no way he doesnt get reminded of that every time he sees her.

Anyway, as the months went by I was haunted by it. It was a strain on my mental health, but I began to find it erotic. Whenever she would give me head I would just think about them, knowing he got to expirence this with her WITHOUT having to commit to a relationship, just total freebee blowjobs from this beautiful girl, who was only one out of many of his friends. I found it hot and couldnt stop thinking about it, hoping she did it more

then once I eventually asked her how many times they did stuff and she said "I dont know, about 5, but we never had sex" This made it more hot so he didnt have sex with her or please her and she would just give him blowjobs like no big deal.

I couldnt stop thinking about it and became obsessed with their previous encounters. Now a year into our relationship, we moved in together. Our sex life got a lot more vanilla, well it already was before. But those once in a while blowjobs she used to give me? She stopped doing that and would only have sex once like once a week. Sleeping with her this was frustrating. I often had to jerk off before bed or I would end up

waking her up by thrusting her ass and she would get mad and it would lead to an argument. She just didnt seem to have a high sex drive at least not for me. But she always wore yoga pants, a thong and cleavage showing shirts and this was just frustrating.

I was a bit snoopy as I always sort of been. I checked her texts once in a while when she was in the shower or whatever. She usually didnt just leave it laying around. but would do a poor job of putting it in a spot she wouldnt think Id look. Or when she was sleeping. I did this and found nothing exciting. But one day when she was in the shower I grabbed her phone and I checked her texts and she was texting mike. The conversation went like "Its been so long, I miss you friend :). His reply, "I miss you too, we need to talk more and chill haha" Her reply "Absolutely, we so need to chill"

Reading this I got an adreniline rush. It was so hot that she was talking to him like this, the smileys and I miss you. Talking about "Chilling" again. I found it so fucking hot while my first reaction was to confront her, I just couldnt. I just wanted this to happen. A few weeks later looked in her phone again when sleeping. Nothing was new, she stopped replying to his messages so seems like she didnt plan on going through with it, was disappointed but she was at least considering it at first. So I knew there was a chance... She just needs a little push.

I managed to get access to her facebook cause I found a little book with her password in it (Dumb idea to write it down) so now I had all my tabs on her that if something happens. I WILL find out, and ill love it. As the months went by, nothing was happening a few other guys messaged her but she didnt reply much. Seemed like she wasnt a cheater. I became frustrated, I wanted her to cheat on me especially with her old time Friend with benefits Mike. I wanted them to hangout again, behind my back. Where she ends up sucking his cock again like old times. I wanted this to happen so bad. I decided I must do something to give her a little push... Without her knowing of course.

I decided, to stop initiating sex with her. I feel me wanting sex so often, made her feel attractive a worthy. So I stopped initiating sex with her I just jerked off in the bathroom before going to bed every night, and cuddled her to sleep without thrusting or being sexual towards her. I needed her to know I still loved her. So I remained charming and nice, rubbed her back to sleep which she always loved. But I stopped initiating sex completely... That once a week when she did want sex, I made excuses and didnt have sex with her. She would be turned off instantly when I mentioned

"I have a headache" Because her thinking I didnt want sex was a real mind boggler and it certainly got her thinking and wondering why. Possibly even questioning her attractivity (She was absolutely beautiful and I mean it) My plan was that her resistance to other men would diminish and eventually she would be getting fucked by another man. While remaining in a relationship with me.

Checking her facebook messages almost everyday for months. And to my surprise... Nothing. She wasnt really messaging guys back. It was disappointing and frustrating. Decided to just keep doing what I am doing. About 4 months into this I lost some hope and stopped checking her messages so often. Until one day. She put a really good looking selfie on facebook. Showing off her ass in the mirror. One guy commented "You look amazing" and he messaged

her. But unlike usual this conversation did not die. She kept replying and chatting with him. Until she said "Text me anytime". I checked her phone later when she was sleeping. This was always a sketchy operation. She would sleep beside her phone and I would have to very slowly take it from her. And no shes not a heavy sleeper. I read their texts for the day and he asked her "Can I take you out to dinner sometime?" She said "Sure" but actually gave him a date right there "This Friday at 6 PM, you pick the place :)" So they agreed.

By this point I was insanely turned on and very excited knowing my GF has a secret date in a few days. I couldnt wait, picturing her getting fucked after a date was just too much and way too hot for something like logic to stop this.

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spillingmylifetea4481 · 4 years

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Chapter 5: My breaking point.

As if I hadn't experienced already that revolving my life around my boyfriend led nowhere, douchebag and I were really fond of each other. But of course you don't really know someone until you live with them. The first time I came to his house in Carlton Ga before I moved in there was a girl in his bed. This rubbed me the wrong way but I did finally see they were just really close friends from highschool and that she wasn't a threat to me after some time. Red flag number one. His hobbies were smoking weed and playing video games and reading comic books, endless hours of netflix watching. Oh. And messaging a shit ton of girls. Red flag number two. We lived with his mother and sister in a beat up trailer and he would constantly ask her for money for food and weed etc. He would have his close friends over for smoking sessions for hours on end and I grew tired of it because I wanted time with him too. He didnt work ever in his life for anything up to that point. He never cleaned up after himself or his dog or showed respect for himself as well as those around him. I ended up getting a job up the road at a gas station/cafe and ended up smoking loads myself, supporting his endless habits and showering him in attention and gifts. But at this point in my life I was easily jealous. When I was with Bob he cheated on me before he even took my virginity as well as my first couple short time boyfriennds also cheating on me before him so I was on my toes about douchebag talking to so many girls. We ended up hanging at his friends house often where I experienced xanax and psychedelics for the first time without a care in the world. We would get into arguments all the time over me demanding that he treated me with more respect and stop flirting with other girls. It never got anywhere. I dont really remember all that happened but one night I took xanax and drank after a fight and he left to his friends house and my mind immediately went to him going off with some girl so evidently I had ended up sending pictures of myself to Bob in my underwear ( funny because when we were together somehow the ones I sent him back then ended up on a porn site and my best friend in South Florida saw it had had to report it as child porn) and douchebag woke me up holding my phone to my face saying" what the fuck is this?" My immediate reaction was to crush my phone with my bare hands and beg him to believe me that they were old pictures. I was embarassed and couldn't believe I did that with hardly any memory of it.. So I chose to lie as if that was justifiable. Not long after that he ended up cheating on me with a girl down the street and I didnt find out about it until right before I had my son. I believe this is what initiated the inevitable with this poor excuse of a man. Many months went by with this toxic relationship and I became more obsessed with digging into his phone to find evidence of him cheating on me that I never spot on found. Anything I did find he always had a lie or excuse or gaslighted me on it. Then boom. A year and a half in I find out im pregnant. I had a hard pregnancy and gained a shit ton of weight so I was miserable. I went from 132 pounds to 204 pounds in 8 and a half months. I had mostly quit smoking but occaisionally I didn't stop myself due to relationship stress and physical exhaustion. Finally douchebag proposed to me at 7 months pregnant surely enforced by his mother and grandfather and we planned to get married. 8 and a half months pregnant I went into labor. I was so scared and excited all just to be ruined by him saying to me " look before we get married I want us to have a clean slate. So im telling you that I did cheat on you with someone." I said I forgave him but really I didn't. That's all it took to verify I wasn't crazy and he was a liar and a cheat and that I would most definitely would never trust him again. It was rough after we had my son. I was only 19 about to turn 20 and knew nothing of taking care of myself let alone a whole fucking baby. But we went through the motions of arguing and moving to Athens together into our own apartment with a lot of help from our income taxes and his mother. After I spied on him through his phone I found out he started seeing girls online behind my back while I was at work at our house, and even had them meet up with him at his work. I heard so many stories of his infidelities since at the time we both worked at Waffle house. I lost count of how many girls there were. I was desperate to fix the relationship so I started dancing around the idea of threesomes and open relationships to try to please him since he didnt seem to believe in monogamy. He brought girls over having them stay for days on end. I would cry and get angry and jealous and didnt know how to handle myself or the situation especially with my at the time 1 and a half year old baby. There was one girl in particular who came to our house to meet us to see if we were compatible for a threesome and she ended up seeing him behind my back. She was beautiful and honestly it wasn't her fault as much as I wanted it to be at the time.. He was head over heels for this girl and I thought to myself how I wasnt good enough. How all my hard work into this relationship was never going to be enough and I must have been ugly or unlikable, I gained weight so maybe he just didnt find me attractive anymore. We tried having a threesome after I confronted them about it and I guess they did it out of pity but mind you I genuinely have no interest in having sex with girls. Of course one night when he was supposed to be hanging out with her I talked him into staying home and trying to work things out and the girl FUCKING DIES IN HER SLEEP BRO. I was a chump and supported this man I had spent up to 4 years with and had a fucking child with crying over a woman I had caught him cheating on me with multiple times. I went to the funeral with him which Im sure everyone felt was fucking weird. Even had a video of them fucking since I needed proof to show him I knew he was lying dead ass to my face. I was depressed, contemplated suicide, etc. We fought in front of my son and I yelled at him when I lost patience. Made him spend time to himself in his room a lot which wasn't fair or responsible of me at all and I think about it every day. Im sure some part of me was going through post partum depression and didn't accept it. My poor baby boy had to see so much. I was addicted to pills and would spend all day finding money for my fix and dealers just to keep myself high enough to deal with him. I ended up going to jail in 2015 for shoplifting because I was ballsy about stealing stuff for my house since I spent all my money on drugs. I almost caught a felony. (Don't worry im not a theif anymore I learned my lesson) He respected and cared for me less every day of that relationship. This went on for at least several more months before I finally snapped and had enough of the lying and cheating and had a physical altercation with him..I moved in with one of my friends. He had already moved another girl in right after I left. I didn't even have a chance to get my things. I tried to befriend his new girlfriend and warn her of what he put me through and she didn't listen to me at all. Two weeks go by, I stopped taking drugs so I was going through withdrawals and fucked in the head even more intensely at that point and he calls me up throwing accusations at me taking his girlfriends belongings so I nutted the fuck up. I drove over there to get my shit and told him off for having me wait that long because "HE needed space." I go to unlock the door and this piece of shit holds the lock closed. So what do I do? Rationally handle it and call an officer to supervise? Nope. I took a fire extinguisher and busted the fuckin door down. Broke his tv. He started fighting me after I pushed him back for not letting me get my shit. Tried to strangle me, slammed my body in the door smashing my extremities repeatedly trying to keep me out, I went straight for his hair since he was sensitive about balding when he was young, he scratched my arm, he started destroying my lesther jacket with a steaknife,and my photo canvases that were not cheap after I broke his Tv, I don't even remember what all was said, then he threatened to cut his wrists with it and I just laughed and said "Give me that you little shit if you were going to die that way you would have done it already". My dumb ass went to take the knife from him and he pulled it back and cut my finger open. The police were called and they took me to jail since I was too fucking honest and told them I had just moved out even though my name was still on the rental agreement. After I got out I tried to get back on my feet. My son ended up staying with his Grandfather and his wife in the midst of all this so he didnt see any of these altercations go down thank god. I stayed in bed for about a whole month and did nothing. I didn't eat, couldn't sleep, and smoked weed just to keep my nerves and withdrawals from opiates at bay. I did get revenge on the girl he was with by cutting 2 of her tires and cutting one of her brakes. It was risky but I got away with it. I lost a bunch of weight in a month and looked sick but I was thin for the first time in 2 years so I didnt care.. I slept around a good bit trying to fill the massive hole in my heart but nothing really fufilled what I was longing for. 5 years of some prime years in my life so disgraced and wasted on this fucking guy. Another fucking guy once again I've spent too much time and effort on. I've never been the same since then. To be continued...

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caddy-crystal-queen · 7 years

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Introducing my new star wars original species (os): the Draconians

I’ve been wanting to post about these guys for a while, particularly their history through their rulers. I really wish to do an rp with these guys on here if anyones interested. So…here are some top ten basic facts about them. I do plan to get specific later, as i am currently writing a little book of sorts about their rulers. Now this is DEFINITELY NOT CANON. This is a species i purely made up and thought itd be awesome to share. So with that being said…

#10: the species name and home planet

The name draconian actually comes from the now destroyed homeworld of the draconis species, referred to as Old Draconia. The planet was “doomed” by a pair of powerful sith lords who used ancient sith sorcery to create a disease that ultimately killed the planet and everyone on it. Old Draconia is now pretty much just a land of ashes, ruins, and mist. Think of it almost as the silent hill of the star wars universe.

#9. Their Beliefs

Most of the Draconian religious and historical texts were lost to the doom, but its highly believed that the Draconians worshipped seven goddesses who resided in the constellation Draco. One of their myths stated that the dragons are actually children of the stars and its from the stars its where they got their fire. Each goddess was once a queen or other important political or social figure, each one representing a different element in nature.

#8. Their powers and Force Sensitivity

There was technically eight types of dragons. Six “common” dragons and two “rare” types. The six were able to control the elements (water, fire, earth, wind, light, and darkness), while the two rare dragons were called Celestials and Aethers. It was said the source of this “magic” was actually stemmed from Force sensitivity. Some draconians, mostly the Aether dragons, were able to “hide” themselves within the Force itself becoming invisible to almost all except for Force sensitives. Celestials could control all elements in nature except for Dark Matter, which was controlled by Aether dragons. But Dark Matter control was seen as dangerous and blasphemous to the seven goddesses so Aether dragons (then called Nether Dragons) were hunted to near extinction. They didnt see the Force as a weapon, like most did. But rather as a living protective deity which called the All Mother or The One Beyond the Seven Stars.

#7. Their government and society

The Draconians had a matriarchal society and were usually ruled by a queen. They did have a few kings here and there but two of them were the first dragon rulers, two others were absolutely cruel, and another was only given the title on the insistence of a queen. The queen was a descendant of the Conqueror, a young fire dragon who united the draconian species from their primitive tribal ways into a single kingdom. Women and girls were seen as more valuable after one queen, named Rhea, challenged her Nest Brother for the draconian throne and won by actually killing him. She declared a weak male would never again rule draconia, but they still had two very oppressive kings. The queen was entirely expected to have mostly daughters to succeed her. The title didnt however always go to the oldest. Sometimes it was determined by a fight between the Nest Sisters from the queens first clutch. If a queen dies without any daughters then one of her sisters would be next in line, followed by nieces, cousins, etc. As for the queens sons, well, they became mostly scholars, healers, soldiers and the like. The queens oldest son would become the captain of his sisters Queen’s Guard until she started to choose guards for herself. After that, he may become her advisor or take up any place in society he may want.

#6. The Queen’s Guard

The name is pretty self explanatory, the queens guard protected the queen. But in early days of the guard, it was also the queens harem in a sense. When she came of age, the queen was technically allowed to take whoever she wanted to her bed as long as it was consensual on both ends (rape was seen as a taboo). Most queens didnt actually get married after queen Rhea, but they did play Favorites. These Favorites were usually the Captains after her brother stepped down, and was often granted certain priviledges and favors/positions for his family. With that said, many families with strong sons or attractive sons pushed them to try to win the queens favor, as he is also more likely to conceive with the queen and therefore be the father of the next queen. However it wasnt just men on the guard, there were a few queens that actually favored women, as all draconians were actually taught to fight. But a queen always needs an heir so there always had to at least be one man on the Queens Guard.

#5. Rashkas and Dovas (Draycon)

“Rashka” and “Draycon” mean Rider and Dragon respectively. They were titles given to individuals who were bound together for life by a mental link. The Rashkas protected the common folk of Draconia, and mostly consisted of humans riding dragons. These humans were given powers and magic from their mounts who shared their lifeforce (called Dova in Old Draconia) with them. As long as the Draycon lived, so did the Rashka, and vise versa. That being said, early Rashka were nearly immortal as draconians usually lived for a very long time. A Rashka can usually have only one Draycon throughout their life time and again it works the other way around. However this mental link can be severed under extreme stress or just before death so the other can keep living. However their life after that was said to be terribly unhappy. Any dragon can be Draycon, and any person can be a Rashka. No one truly knows who or what determines how or why theyre chosen for each other. Queens however arent typically Draycon, with the exception of one who was the very first. Up until closer to modern day, it was believed only humans could be Rashka, but the first alien Rashka was a Duros who found and later hatched a Dark dragon egg…

#4. Tosca, the Mad Queen

The worst female ruler in draconian history was none other than Tosca the Mad. Born from the greatest ruler in draconian history, her reign was a complete contrast to her legendary mother’s, but it didnt start out that way. Tosca the First was obsessed with keeping her power and prestige, and would go to any lengths to keep it. It’s believed that her uncle, Malakai, cursed one of his sisters eggs before she killed him, making it so Tosca was influenced by him her whole life. She had her sisters husband locked away and later executed on false charges of treason and banished her sister, Nythia, to a distant world where she was to live in isolation for the rest of her days. Despite her paranoia, Tosca the Mad did manage to have one child survive to adulthood, though this child, a daughter named Harmonia, barely escaped with the help of smugglers. Tosca the Mad ruled for fifty years before her madness completely took over and therefore had to be killed. Harmonia succeeded her. She was the only mad queen in draconias history.

#3. Creed, the Draycon Queen

Ask any modern draconian who the greatest ruler in draconian history was and theyll tell you it was none other than Creed. She was the first Draycon ever, and the only to ever be queen. She ruled during the time of the old republic. Born to queen Sarella, creed and her nestmates (still in eggs at the time) were sent off of draconia to other worlds under a powerful enchantment, only draconian fire could hatch them, with the exception of her and her twin brother, named Malakai, who also had a rashka. Creed however lost her rashka when he was captured by the jedi, but not killed, thus keeping her alive but the jedi severed the link between the two. It left the princess absolutely miserable and she escaped coruscant to a distant deserted world, laying low a few years to learn to control all the elements in nature. Creed was the first queen since Queen Nymeria to learn such a thing. With her new found powers, Creed took back Draconias throne from her brother, who she later imprisoned and later executed. Her reign was draconias golden age.

#2. The Nether Purge

Of all the dragon types there are, nether dragons are the most misunderstood. With the power to control dark matter, the very fabric of the universe, these rarest of dragons were the most powerful in existence. So how did they die out? Well the answer isnt really known but its speculated that there werent all that many to begin with and the few that were killed or captured hadnt realized their full potential yet. But it wasnt just their power people feared, it was also the manner in which their mates were picked. As hatchlings, the Aether dragons removed a fragment of their own hearts and crystallized it. When in the presence of their soulmate the crystal glows. The thing that scared most other dragons was that this tended to happen around mostly hatchlings or very young dragons. Fearing for the future, and believing only celestials should come close to the seven goddesses, the Nether dragons were hunted, killed, or taken to a distant world where they couldnt do harm.

#1. The doom of old Draconia

The Doom of old Draconia was a catastrophic event for the dragons. Two sith lords came to queen Serren, the last queen, demanding to know the secret to draconian long life. The queen of course refused to tell them, claiming she didnt know. But this was only a partial truth. Ancient draconians once used a powerful dark magic to transfer their souls to new bodies but Creed banned the practice and had all knowledge of it erased. As for their naturally long lives (they can live up to about two and a half centuries supposedly) serren honestly didnt know. It was the secret of the Soul Release spell that the sith were after and serren, as the queen, was supposed to guard the secret with her life. The draconians’ magic was cut off leaving them defenseless from the onslaught of drought, famine, and disease that eventually overrode the planet. The queen was however able to escape with a single egg. But no one knows where she is…

And i hope you guys enjoyed reading that! I plan to write more about the rulers of draconia. If you got questions please feel free to ask, anonymous or not. I look forward to sharing more if you guys are interested ^^

#star wars #oc #original species #top ten list #dragons #draconians #species facts

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ventingoutmyass · 5 years

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7.23.19

I think I'm ready to talk about it.

I went on a bender this summer because of some deep rooted emotional distress that took a long time for me to find and try to understand. And although I'm still figuring out for myself what it is and exactly what it means, I'm going to do my best to relay it to you.

The year is 2009, I was in my sixth grade classroom. I saw a familiar face walk into the room, a girl that I had met the year before, through a mutual friend. I was the only person she knew in the class so she started to hang out with my friends and I, and we became close very fast and she was soon my best friend. I'm going to refer to her as "N".

N was a little Muslim girl who's family had become very americanized after moving here when she was a toddler, she knew little about her religion and culture and didnt wear a hijab. Her parents spoke broken English and her home life was pretty erratic because of neglect from her parents to her and her two younger siblings who were born in the states.

In seventh grade we became close friends with another old friend of mine, from first grade. I'll call her, "R". The three of us were inseparable. Between 2010 and 2011 the three of us each had very hectic lives outside of school. N's family put a lot of pressure on her to help around the house and take care of her brother and sister while secretly experiencing emotional neglect and verbal and physical abuse from her parents. R's mom had passed about two years prior and she was left with a father who also emotionally and physically neglected her. I was watching my life crumble under me from my parents separation during this time. We rarely talked about the troubles we were having at home, but we were always able to leave them at home because we came to school everyday to be with our best friends.

In eighth grade my two friends each moved to a different school, mostly due to long commutes and experiencing a lot of bullying the year before. We still talked to eachother everyday and got together constantly.

N and I ended up going to the same high school, and spent every moment available together. At one point our freshman year when her parents were separating, she lived with my family for a few weeks. She was always at my house and became a member of my family. My parents took her under their wing and treated her as their own. She was my sister.

Throughout high school we had our ups and downs, at one point junior year our connection was growing weak and then we had our first and only class together for all of high school. We bonded again and our friendship was my top priority. She was always my top priority, especially knowing how stressful life was at home for her. I wanted to be the place that she could be only happy and always feel safe, and that's what my family and I were for her. Her home.

The three of us got together every few months throughout high school, as N and I watched over the years R had began to change into a person we did not recognize. She surrounded herself with bad influences and made poor decisions that I got to see first hand a few times, which often made me take a step back from her.

After graduation we started to drift a bit, just because we didnt see eachother every day and adult life gets in the way. But I still spoke to her almost every day and often saw her on weekends and she spent a lot of holidays with my family. She flew back to Iraq to visit family for a month that summer and bonded a lot with her aunts and cousins. Shortly after coming home she started dating a boy she knew from work and while he wasnt a terrible influence on her, I saw her personality shift a little. She became obsessed with this boy and didnt pay as much attention to me, of course I got jealous but we often made plans to hang out all three of us. Her parents eventually found out about him and they broke up soon after.

The next January, of 2017, she decided to stay with her family in Iraq for seven months. In case you don't remember, shortly after she left, a travel ban was placed from several countries to the US, including Iraq. I begged her to come back while she still could, she refused and assured me that it would get figured out when time came for her to come home. On August 3rd, she made it home. She was much more in touch with her religion and her culture and learned a lot more Arabic including how to read and write it. She began wearing a hijab and dressing much more modestly. She behaved very different and it felt like she was a completely new person. As much as I missed who my old friend was, she was finally happy with her life. That's all I wanted for her, and that's what mattered to me. I saw who she was when she wasnt miserable, for the first time in over seven years.

That August, she met a boy. And to be honest with you, it all goes downhill from there. A few months later, she took a pregnancy test, and it came out positive. She went to the doctor who gave her a real test and when it came out negative, she walked out of the office with a prescription for birth control.

That May two months later, when she never got her period and the symptoms didnt stop, she went back for another test. She was eleven weeks pregnant. Days later, her boyfriends mom told her parents against her wishes. She called me that night sobbing, begging me to take her away. My mom and I raced over to her and I sat in her room as she cried while my mom talked to her parents for over two hours about the situation she was in and the paths they can take. My mom talked them out of sending her to China to get sewn back up after an abortion. We went back home without her that night, the first of many regrets I have.

I talked to her about the two realistic options we could think of.

Take the baby and run away somewhere that her parents wouldnt be able to find her. We had countless people reach out to help her and offer her places to stay and people to help with the baby.

Get an abortion and continue to keep her siblings and distant family in her life

She wanted what she wanted. She wanted her boyfriend, her baby, and her family. I told her there was no way to have it all. She wouldnt listen to me or my mom who knew very well the situation she was in and who her family were. She would only listen to advice from people who told her what she wanted to hear. People who knew nothing about her family or the dangerous situation she put herself in. She chose to live in a fantasy world where she could prepare for having a baby and announce it to everyone who would listen. In the frustration and exhaustion, I gave up. I accepted that anything I said or did wouldn't affect any choice she would make. I was emotionally drained as well as my family. I told her that I would be there as soon as she would ask for my help and I stopped bugging her about it. She didn't call me again. Another big regret of mine.

She soon got an abortion against her will. In her grievance, she went back to Iraq that July. I didnt talk to her much at all after she left. Initially I was told it would be until the fall. At the end of September I asked her when she expected to come home. She said either October or November. She never came home and I've never heard from her since.

I've lived my life alone since then. I had lots of other friends and a loving boyfriend by my side and my family was always there, but I always felt empty. A piece of me was always missing. By May of 2019, I had pushed away all of my friends and my boyfriend and I broke up. Nothing mattered to me anymore. I felt so alone that I pushed my family away as well. Loneliness had swallowed me whole.

That only thing that made me feel anything was this boy I had made friends with from work and I spent every single moment with him for about a month and a half. I didn't know why this was happening to me. I didn't know why I didn't care about anyone or anything else. I felt no emotions and nothing mattered. I went to work every day, and went to his house to get high and feel anything I could. He made me feel alive in a time that I couldn't feel anything else at all. I couldnt even think straight enough to realize what was really going on.

I felt such an intense loneliness that I couldnt spare myself for anything that wasn't completely easy. I never went home because I couldn't handle facing something that I couldn't even see. It meant facing reality and facing myself. I got sick again. I couldn't think. It was like I forgot how to think. I didn't give myself time to write. I didn't allow myself to be free of any distractions for weeks. I was always at work, or high, or with this boy. Usually, all three. I wanted to live in this world I had created for myself to mimick what I remembered happiness felt like.

The loneliness slowly started to kill me. It wasn't until about three weeks ago that I started to realize that something huge was going on with me and that I needed to figure it out and deal with it so I could get back to living a normal life.

I realize that losing the one person I always promised to keep, hit me hard. The one person I trusted to stay with me until the day I die is gone and I will never get that person back. It was supposed to be her and I against the world. My forever, my person. I promised to always protect her. I promised her that I would be there for every single thing she needed. I gave up on her. I gave up and lost her. I have the live the rest of my life never knowing what I could've done different. Thinking the rest of my life about what I should have done. Everything I didn't think about doing. I should've take her that night. I never should've left her side. I should have quit my job to be next to her through the turmoil. Nothing matters because I don't want to live in a world where she doesn't exist. I can't function through heartache without her to feel it with me

I have to learn to live in a world without my best friend

#i still have baby clothes in my car

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness

For this weeks TBT, were going to take a look into the lives of the most influential baby friend group of the ’90s. Im talking, of course, about the Rugrats and, most importantly, how betchy or not betchy each Rugrat is. Is it polite to rank toddlers who have not yet learned to speak based on arbitrary social categories? Probs not. Is it fun? Fucking duh.

1. Cynthia

Heres what we know about Cynthia: 1) Shes a really cool dancer, 2) Shes got cool moves (as long as you move her arms and legs), 3) Shes movin out on the floor, 4) Shes ready to break some eggs (make an omelette Cynthia!) How do we know all this? We know it from her workout tape, which I am shocked has not been sampled by Avicii or Kanye or someone yet (dont listen unless you want this song stuck in your head all day).

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Cynthias resting bitch face is on point, and she manages to look great in her belted orange dress despite the fact that she is missing of her hair. Cynthia didnt say or do shit for all 9 seasons of, yet she is still one of the shows most memorable characters, and it is her ability to do no work and remain popular that has earned her the number one slot.

2. Susie Carmichael

Susie Carmichael is cool AF. Did Susie need to appear in every episode? No. Susie had other shit to do. Shell check in every once in awhile to see what the babies are up to, teach them about Kwanzaa and generally let them know whats good, before going back next door to hang with her real friends. Whenever she does come over, the babies flip out because theyre like, obsessed with her (everyone is). Shes also the only person who has absolutely no time for Angelicas bullshit, probably because Susie has better hair, a better outfit, and wears a cool red bangle, which is more than Angelica could ever hope to have. Susie is three, which makes her older and wiser than most of the babies and probably accounts for the sheer lack of fucks she has to give. Did Susie get her ass lost in the woods when Dil was born? Fuck no, she was chilling in Paris getting turnt up with her older sister! Did Susie almost die with the Rugrats in EuroReptarland? No bitch, I just told you shes already been to Paris! Susie Carmichael always comes correct, and thats what earned her the number two spot.

3. Tommy Pickles

Tommy Pickles is the star of the show, which virtually guarantees him betchiness. Tommy also has the whole dressing like a slut thing down and spends all nine seasons of wearing nothing but a crop top and booty shorts. His outfit never stops him from leading his friend group on adventures, and you know once he can talk and operate a phone hed be the person managing the group chat, suggesting what clubs and parties to go to, making sure everyone is getting the free shots they deserve, and seeing you into your Uber at the end of the night. The thing holding Tommy back from the top spot is that hes too fucking nice. Hell let any baby with shit in their diaper come hang with him (cough CHUCKIE cough), and that means his friend group is riddled with duds (HI CHUCKIE). Be a little more discerning about your friend group, Thomas, and maybe well see you up at the top with Cynthia.

4. Angelica Pickles

We cant talk about Cynthia without getting to her BFF and designated Rugrat BSCB, Angelica Pickles. Angelica spent most of torturing the dumb babies (who were really only like a year younger than her) and making them miserable, yet still somehow being invited to all the group hangs, play dates, and brunches. Angelica spends a lot of time telling everyoneincluding the adultshow beautiful she is and is absolutely desperate for attention, probably because her rich AF parents never pay attention to her. Shes your friend who cries and starts shit at the club anytime she feels like shes not the hottest girl there (and she frequently is notthanks Cynthia!) Also girl, lay off the cookies.

5. Charlotte Pickles

Charlotte Pickles is Angelicas mom who is literally always on her phone. Like, always. Even in a time before cellphones could fit in your pocket, Charlotte is always on the phone with her assistant Jonathan (Cheban? We dont know) and ignores basically every member of her family to do so. When phones dont work, Charlotte straight up makes her husbands brother carry a fax machine around so she doesnt miss any important texts. Charlotte alternates between a power suit and workout gear, always accompanied by an Ariana Grande level high ponytail. In , Charlotte displays clear signs of some seriously botched cosmetic surgery, which is what has dropped her down to slot #5. Never try to cut corners on botox, Charlotte! Itll always go wrong. Honestly, Jonathan should have told you that.

6. Grandpa Lou

Grandpa Lou is another character who gives absolutely zero fucks and is down to hang. Much like Corinne, Lou loves naps and often falls asleep halfway through finishing his stories. Despite his old age, Lou is still a fuckboy, and is often seen hitting on women and generally trying to find ways to get laid. If had taken place in 2017, Lou would have definitely had a Tinder and that Tinder definitely would have had a picture of him from 20+ years earlier. Lou is eventually successful in finding a new wife, Lulu, who he moves in with pretty fast after they start hooking up (risky choice, Lou!) Outside of his strangely active love life, Lou also has many frenemies, including his own cousin Miriam; his bowling rival, Billy Strike Maxwell; and some other wrestling guy named Conan McNulty. This proves that when push comes to shove, Lou is just not very popular and kind of an old perv. Sixth place for you, Lou.

7. Phil And Lil Deville

Okay Im sorry, but Phil and Lil are fucking gross. Their diet is a mess, always eating fucking worms and mud and shit. Do you know how many calories are in a ball of worms, kids? Do you? Seriously. There is a episode where Phil and Lil drink straight-up toilet water. What the fuck is that? Is that something babies do? Phil and Lil also have no creativity when it comes to fashion, and instead just dress alike every damn day in greena color that is flattering on exactly 0 people. Their mom is a hardcore feminist, which is cool, but maybe the twins have been empowered to do a little bit too much. Like sure, Lil can do whatever she wants with her life, but maybe eating a giant pile of shit should not be one of those things? Idk. Seventh place.

8. Stu Pickles

Good Lord is Stu Pickles a sad man. Seriously. You have a beautiful house, two healthy babies, a cool Jewish wife who has managed to maintain her pre-baby body, and youre still fucking complaining! Look around, asshole! You have all this shit despite the fact that your dumb ass hasnt invented one successful toy. In fact, you havent even invented one toy that didnt explode and almost kill your entire family. You are literally #blessed but youre too blind to see it! The only thing keeping you from the bottom slot is this meme which, in the current political climate, is legit all of our lives right now:

9. Chuckie Finster

No. Just no. Im sorry, but again, its gonna be a hard pass on Chuckie. Here are all the things Chuckie would have to improve if he ever even wanted to hope to be betchy. 1) His voice, which is terrible. Do you have a cold, Chuckie? Go to the damn doctor. Its the ’90s. Hillary Clinton has passed the State Childrens Health Insurance Plan. You can go to the doctor. Go. 2) Grow. A. Pair. Dude. You know when Chuckie gets older hes gonna be your friend who calls the cops on his own party for getting out of hand. Hes gonna be that guy who side eyes you for doing molly at Coachella, making weird comments under his breath about how you never know whats in that stuff and generally bringing bad vibes despite the fact that Beyonc is literally pregnant and dancing in front of you. 3) The hair is a problem. Comb it. Dye it. Do something. Its a problem. 4) Tie your fucking shoes, dude. 9th place.

10. Chas Finster

There was no character on television from 1991-2004 that was less betchy than Chas Finster. He has all of Chuckies problems, but he is a fucking adult which means he has literally no excuse for being such a narc. Chas seems to be suffering from whatever health problems are affecting his son, and despite being a bureaucrat, apparently has no ability to get his ass to a doctor either. Like many sad old nerds, Chas must travel to a foreign country to find a wife, eventually convincing a way-too-hot-for-him Japanese woman to fly to America and be his Melania. Chas also has a double-Hitler mustache, which is 100% unacceptable, no matter what decade you live in. Sorry, Chas. Last place.