#ohhhh that's my drug of choice yes please

[theloveinc]

Helloooo! Kind of new anon here - been obsessed with your headcanons and writing as it is soooo good ahhhhh *flails in fangirl*

I am not sure what rules you have for asks (so feel free to ignore) but just needed to let out the thoughts of Bakugo running around in my head!!

So my impression is that Bakugo would very much be a ride-or-die type of guy. Like the in it for the long game type dude who doesn’t date unless he’s sure he can see himself being with this person for the full ride.

Which makes me cackle to think about how this can tie with a rivals to lovers type trope where the person who stands out just initially annoys the hell out of him - can kick his ass in training, is always ready with a quick retort, doesn’t shy from his grumpiness or outbursts. Both just hating each other’s guts. But also because of that, you understand each other better than anyone else. You see when he’s at a low and he sees when something is bothering you. After seeing each other at your lowest but finding the beauty in that to stick with each other through thick and thin - ughh my heart!!

Then it hits Bakugo when he catches himself daydreaming and wondering what it would be like to have a life with you. And he’s like “oh shit” but little does he know you’re also thinking the same thing lol

hi hi hi!!! thank you so much for enjoying my stuff so much that u wanted to send me an idea of ur own! i appreciate both the follow and the kindness (and trust hehe) A LOT!

can i be honest tho? stories that present two characters at odds w/ one another who are actually the only ones who understand each other.... make. me. BONKERSSSS CRAZY, truly one of my favorite tropes that has me crying and screaming on the floor every single time...

sooooo uh... YES!!! to this idea, and i hope u don't mind me continuing on a lil bit. just thinking about all the moments you have together that u and bakugo just absolutely refuse to talk about.... but mean so much.

the time you land on your wrist wrong after he knocked you out of the air during training, and he immediately stopped the fight to bandage you up. the time he gets off the phone after finding out he didn't make the top ten this year and deku did.... and you let him cry into your shoulder and keep him company and make him tea so he doesn’t have to be alone.

obvs, hardly anyone is aware of u two so no teasing takes place about your crushes... but it's sooooo, so obvious when either of u really think about it, esp when the thoughts u have become less about wanting to beat the other in a fight... and more domestic and sweet. bakugo having a rough night and just wanting to see your face, even if you snap at him (which you wouldn't)... or you just wishing he was there to tell you that you did a good job after patrol.

despite everything, all the fighting and mean words, it's like you're searching for each other every single second!!!

and maybe this is cliche... but i feel like neither of you would confess until... something bad happens. Like another hero is bullying you, or you get caught up with some villain... and bakugo is just going bananas because HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TEASE U. HE'S THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO FIGHT W/ YOU. BARK BARK WOOF WOOF he gets so defensive! and maybe you do too when the same thing happens to him.

And then you're both finally able to admit... yeah. this is love(and it will be forever).

#bakugo #RIDE OR DIE BAKUGO I SCREAMMMMMMMMM #i want him so badly #im not usually an enemies to loves person but like. having a weird relationship and still seeking comfort in each other??? #ohhhh that's my drug of choice yes please #i hope u don't mind i got to this so late AND added so much #it was an excellent idea ... chef's kiss.......... #caitie things #long post #anon #queue

[kissingandroidsforfun]

I'm quite proud of this angst so I'll put it here

[ Addiction and dark circles ]

Controlling the entire facility is a big challenge, with its control comes a great desire to test. Desire for experiences. So much desire but with it comes the pain of its absence. You could say it's like a drug. And any person who is in control and does not get enough satisfaction from the tests begins to experience something like drug cravings. This person's mind is taken over by just one thought, satisfaction. A person in control needs satisfaction, otherwise he will tire himself out.. and so it was this time too.

The euphoria that Wheatley was experiencing at that moment from the test you had just completed was like cocaine to him. An invigorating experience. He constantly desires more and more!!

"Ohhhh, yes. Ohhhh. Well done.. well done luv"

He was feeling better when you tested. All this euphoria filled his entire body. He laughed, you might have seen him on one of the screens in the test chamber

"You don't even know how good it feels! Ohhh yes yes"

Everything seemed to be fine at first.. but with each subsequent test Wheatley became more and more desperate. He wanted to feel this euphoria, more! More! More!!! His hunger to satisfy this need was growing, it started to hurt him. Since all this euphoria was like cocaine for him, there were, of course, other effects. He felt that he had power, great power, no one or nothing could oppose him. Everyone had to test, saying everyone of course it's about you. You. You needed to test to give that blue-eyed robot what he wanted. On the one hand, you definitely didn't like it, but on the other, you had no choice. He was in charge now and you didn't want to die. Each subsequent test affected him less and less… which made him angry and desperate. And it's all because of this voice in his head, this effect of being addicted to euphoria.. something he couldn't even fight if he wanted to. The mainframe was the carrier for this. And the robot's previous nervousness intensified the effects even more. Not good. Everything was slowly starting to get out of his control, he was getting too desperate. He wanted, no matter what the cost, to relieve himself of the pain of not having this feeling. Euphoria at that moment was the only thing that made him happy or whatever calmed him down, for a short moment but it worked

You slowly made your way through the tests, starting to stress out at how desperate he was becoming..

You kept moving forward now, only with the thought that it would all turn out to be a bad dream. But unfortunately that won't happen. You have to come to terms with the fact that someone you trusted betrayed you and is currently hungry for euphoria.. you are the only being who can provide him with this. The thought hurt you a bit.You moved further and further through yourself overcoming various obstacles. After a while you hear his voice, you can feel a slight desperation in it

“Ah, I see. Clever. Verrrrrrry clever. And FOOLISH! No way out. You're at my mercy! And I don't have any. You're at my- No wait, come back! Come- Sorry. Please. No, I was- I was going somewhere with all that… FOOL!"

His words were now running through your head. After a while, you stopped focusing on what he was saying, you could hear his voice but you couldn't tell what he was saying. You decided to delay your journey further, surprising from the stream you were moving for a moment. He wasn't happy about that.

"…nothing to worry about… The puppet master! You're a puppet in a play, and I-- Alright, fine. I'm not saying another word until you do it properly. I'm sick of this.”

Wheatley fell silent. The silence took you out of your rhythm.. it was too quiet, too calm. Now you were the one starting to get desperate too.. You sighed and moved on again…

Moving deeper into the facility, closer and closer to him. He was stressed and you too, you both weren't ready for your face-to-face meeting. Which is coming soon. You hear his voice again, this time he's trying to hide his stress and fear. He's afraid to meet you again, afraid to see you in person. He's afraid of fighting you.

"I'll be honest, the… death traps have been a bit of a failure so far. For both of us. I think you'll agree. And… you are getting very close to my lair… 'Lair' - heh, it's weird isn't that? First time I've said it out loud. Sounds a bit- bit- sounds a bit ridiculous, really. But, uh I can assure you: It is one. It is a proper lair. Deadly lair."

You stopped to look at the screen that now showed him. Listening to his words

"So. Boom. Better offer, here is… just kill yourself!"

You're speechless now. It was a blow to your heart. Ouh. Your lips parted slightly at the shock

"Y'know? It- Lot of effort, isn't it? Walking all the way to my deadly lair, when there's a perfectly serviceable death option right there. Again: Not a death trap, not a death trap. Your death would be entirely voluntary. And very much appreciated."

"Plus, I have put a lot of effort in getting this lair ready for you. So it would certainly teach me a lesson if you simply died, painlessly, twenty feet from the door. I'd be furious. I'd be like RRRRR. I got my just desserts. No more than I deserve. But, uh, teach- Why not teach me a lesson by- by just jumpin' in the ol' masher?"

There was something in his voice.. fear. He was really afraid of seeing you, despite his constant desperation and growing frustration with the lack of satisfaction he could still tell you to test he could try to force you to do it, but he doesn't. Now it looked like he was trying to pull you away from his lair. Maybe he's definitely doing it the wrong way.. but somehow he does it. His anxiety begins to become more and more visible.

Your heart was pounding with all its might in your chest. You will soon be face to face with him. Just the thought made your emotions slowly get out of control. You sighed quietly.

"We've had some times, haven't we? Like that time I jumped off my management rail, not sure if I'd die or not when I did, and all you had to do was catch me?"

Your cheeks flushed slightly in embarrassment. You remember this moment well, your movements were too slow and even if you wanted to, you wouldn't be able to catch him.. it still made you feel guilty

"Aaaand you didn't. Did you? Oh, you remember that? I remember that. I remember that all the time. And we would have talked our way out of it. Except you forgot to tell me you'd MURDERED her"

Wheatley raised his voice to give his words more serious tone

"And that she needed you to live, so the only available vent for her rage would be good old crushable Wheatley"

You stood in complete silence… the entire moment passed before your eyes. Waking her up and how she crushed him in front of you. You then saw only a moment of his destroyed circuits.. before she threw him.. somewhere in the distance and caught you

All these memories slowly made you cry.

"Yeah… Little details that I remember. Easy little tidbits you could have used to save me from getting crushed if you'd cared, which you didn't, obviously. And still do not."

These last words of his were the most painful for you. Tears ran down your cheeks.. you did care about him, you do care and you will care.. even after all this..

"Oh! remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest. Moment. Of my life. But you? Just wanted to leave!"

You looked at him carefully, his damaged body.. it hurt to look at him.. Your guilt began to grow on your shoulders… it was true, you wanted to leave this place, you wanted to experience freedom. But you definitely didn't want to leave him here… but now it's too late to explain all of that

"Didn't want to share my success. Well, so you know, I would be HAPPY for you if you succeeded… Apart from right now, obviously."

The atmosphere in the room was getting worse and worse, you and he were both feeling worse and worse for other reasons as well.. This was all too much. Everything was happening so fast, too fast..

Now you were holding on to him with all your might.. hoping you won't fly away into the depths of space.. You looked into his blue eyes, they showed fear. Your eyes probably showed fear too..

"Let go of me!"

He screamed, tears forming in his eyes. Even though he was just a robot, he still had emotions.. tears also appeared on your cheeks. You fought for your life and he.. he was doing the same.

You felt someone, or rather something, grab your arm. Metal 'hands' tightened on your shoulder and it hurt. You looked at him.. and at that moment the last cables that held him let go. There was great fear in your eyes. It was seconds… You saw him moving away. Despite everything, you tried to reach out to grab his hand. He held out his metal hand too.. You almost got him!.. It was so close.. Something was nudging you backwards, creating more distance between you and him. You couldn't catch him anymore, he was too far away.. but you still held out your hand to him.. hoping hoping that…

You fell to the ground, breathing heavily. You looked at the closing portal, tears streaming down your cheeks..

"Wheatley!!"

You lost consciousness.. everything turned black

#angst #fanfic #portal fanfiction #Wheatley #portal 2 wheatley #portal 2 #portal #androidswrite

[imagine-loki]

What About Trust, Chapter 5

TITLE: What About Trust CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 5 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki owns a bookshop on Midgard. He had to do something there to try and avoid getting any attention. But he’s not fond of having customers, is rather grumpy and guarded. But then he meets a bright, bubbly and trusting young woman who doesn’t recognise him. To his dismay, he finds himself becoming rather fond of the mortal.  RATING: M

Cleo was outside Loki’s shop at exactly eleven am, Loki was just coming out the door when she arrived.

‘Ah, perfect timing.’ He said as he locked the door.

‘It’s very rare I am on time, so you best feel honoured that I actually managed it for a change.’ She smiled.

‘Well, I am very honoured.’ He chuckled.

They fell into step together and headed down the road. Loki had a place in mind that he thought she would like, if she hadn’t been there before that was.

It was down a quiet street, off the beaten track. But Cleo was in utter awe when she saw it, she couldn’t believe she had never been there before.

It wasn’t just a coffee shop, it sold some records too and had good music playing. It wasn’t overly busy, but had a few people in there.

‘Oh, wow!’ Cleo’s eyes were bright as she looked around. Then she saw what was for sale along with different types of tea or coffee… Fancy looking brownies that looked to die for.

Loki ordered them both coffee and also triple chocolate brownies with caramel. He motioned for her to go upstairs, when she did she almost died in excitement. It was nicely laid out, with some beautiful plants and a long window ledge seat. To the right just off the stairs there was a set of wooden swings that matched the place perfectly. The tables were all made to look like large vinyls.

‘My god, this place is freaking awesome.’ She squeaked excitedly as she took a seat at one of the vinyl tables, Loki swiftly joined her, pleased that she liked the place.

‘I had a feeling you’d like this one.’ He said rather smugly. ‘I’m surprised you of all people haven’t already been here before?’

Cleo laughed. ‘Yeah, I am too actually. I’ve not seen anything about it online before, and I’ve just never been down this way.’ She shrugged.

‘I don’t think they’re much into tech, quite old school and quirky. No online presence.’ Loki said as he started on his brownie, he couldn’t wait any longer.

‘Yeah, makes sense.’ Cleo smiled and started on hers too. ‘Ohhhh my god!’ She moaned and closed her eyes after her first bite. ‘Wow, now that, that is better than sex.’

Loki almost choked on his coffee, he looked over at her and laughed. ‘I am sure they will simply love that kind of review.’

Cleo giggled. ‘Yeah, maybe I will need to re-think that one.’

Loki found himself unable to stop smiling while he was with Cleo. There was just something about her that was really getting under his skin. She was a breath of fresh air to be around, so optimistic about life and bubbly. She was a delight to be around.

‘So, what do you think of the music I gave you?’ Cleo asked as she licked her fingers clean, an action that Loki tried very hard not to look at. His thoughts going elsewhere.

He cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with a napkin. ‘Well, you seem to have guessed my taste rather well. I enjoyed them all. And you’re right about lyrics, I really should listen to them more often instead of just taking in the outer layer.’

Cleo grinned brightly. ‘Some lyrics of songs are just a load of bull. But a lot are really meaningful and wonderful to listen to. The great thing about lyrics is you can interpret them in whatever way you want, they can have different meanings for different people.’

‘That’s a nice way to think of it.’ Loki nodded in agreement. ‘Though those so-called rappers are quite ridiculous, just on about sex and drugs.’

‘Oh no no, I know some do. But some of the best lyricists are rappers.’ Cleo said quickly.

Loki raised an eyebrow at her.

‘Seriously. I know some of them can be difficult to actually listen to, but I’ll look out some for you. Just give them a proper listen, you will be pleasantly surprised.’

‘Hmm, that you will have to convince me of.’

‘And I will most definitely prove you wrong.’ Cleo teased.

‘I am never proved wrong.’ Loki drawled and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest.

‘Oh yeah? Well, it’s a good thing I love a challenge, isn’t it?’

Loki chuckled at her determination. He would give her the benefit of the doubt, for now.

‘I know you said your brother lives here too, what about your parents?’ Loki enquired.

‘They live back home in Inverness. It was just my brother who decided he wanted to move down here too.’

‘Do you see your parents often?’

Cleo shrugged a little. ‘Not a lot, but sometimes I’ll go home and visit for a holiday. On occasion they come down here, but not often. What about you, are your parents around or do they stay in Norway with your brother?’ She asked.

‘No… I uhm. My parents have passed.’

‘Oh, I’m so sorry.’ Cleo said sadly.

‘No, don’t worry. It was a long time ago. Though they were my adoptive parents, they adopted me as a baby. I know my biological father died, I never found out about my mother.’

Cleo was warmed that he was opening up to her. That he was starting to let his guard down a little with her, which made her feel really happy.

‘Do you wish you knew her?’ She asked.

Loki pondered on that question for a moment. ‘No. My mother who raised me, she was a wonderful mother. I loved her very dearly, we were… close. I never saw eye to eye with my father in the same way. But I wouldn’t change her for the world.’ He said fondly.

‘That’s really sweet.’ Cleo smiled.

Loki nodded. He felt a little pang of hurt within him when he thought about Frigga. She would have loved Cleo, that much he knew.

‘So, do you… have a boyfriend, or a husband?’ Loki asked, slightly uncomfortable. But it was a question that had been eating away at him, he wanted to know.

‘Nope, definitely not married and no boyfriend. I think I scare guys off when they see my flat filled to the brim with books and records, they assume I’m old-fashioned and have my head in the clouds.’ She laughed.

‘Well, you may live with your head in the clouds but you are certainly not one to run away from.’ He winked at her.

She blushed a little bit at that and smiled. ‘How about you, do you have a special girl in your life?’

Loki shook his head. ‘No, not at the moment. As I’m sure you realised, I tend to keep myself to myself for the most part.’

‘Yeah, I did notice. Grumpy book shop owner always hidden away in his shop… with not the best reputation of being friendly, I saw a few reviews online.’ Cleo grinned.

‘Well, most mortals just come in and mess up my shop.’ He grumbled.

‘Mortals?’ Cleo burst out laughing at his choice of words.

Loki shrugged. ‘Hooligans, mortals, puny humans, whatever.’

‘You do have a funny way with words sometimes… But I guess that’s part of your rather alluring charm.’ She smirked.

After they left the coffee shop, Cleo couldn’t believe that three hours had passed. They had just talked and talked, not caring about time or anything else.

‘Wow, look at the time.’

‘Was I keeping you from something?’ Loki asked as he straightened his jacket.

‘If keeping me from something counts as just lazing around at home reading or listening to music, or binge watching the telly, then yes.’ She elbowed him playfully.

‘You mean you don’t do something productive on your days off?’ Loki chastised playfully.

‘Hell no. The only productive thing I normally do on my days off is watering my plants.’

‘You have a garden?’ Loki queried.

‘Oh yeah. A little plot outside the block of flats. I have a mini greenhouse, too. I love growing some vegetables and have some flowers.’

Loki couldn’t believe it. Not only was she a bookworm, enjoyed music, but she also enjoyed some gardening? How could a mortal be so perfect? It was sickening!

‘I am surprised you can keep them alive.’ He joked.

‘I am too, to be honest. With my scatterbrain sometimes. But I actually do a not too bad job.’ She said proudly, holding her head high.

‘That’s good to hear. For the plants’ sake.’

Cleo laughed. ‘Well, thank you for the coffee and brownie. I really enjoyed it.’

‘Thank you for the company.’ Loki winked at her.

‘I’ll see you soon, Luke.’ She smiled widely at him and patted his arm, then reluctantly headed off.

Loki watched her walking away, he didn’t take his eyes off of her until she had turned the corner. He leaned back against the wall, breathing in deep he looked up at the sky.

‘Why didn’t I just tell her my real name at the start?’ He grumbled at himself and pinched the bridge of his nose.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #what about trust #chapter 5 #fanficshiddles

[felony-dykery]

“radfems are just bitter abuse survivors”

I am so tired of TRA’s being like “ohhhh you’re only radfem because you experienced rape/csa/male violence”, as if that’s not a very good reason to become a radfem. There are other things that drew me too it also, but yes. Most of those beginning factors stemmed from personal experience. 

At age seven my dad abandoned me and my mom so he could keep doing cocaine. After my mom paid for several rounds of his rehab out of pocket. After he financially and emotionally abused her. We were destitute when he left. We didn’t eat for days at a time when we were first getting back on our feet. I had to spend years in a different state with extended family, away from my mother, because she had to work three jobs to keep our house. It sparked my struggle with food insecurity and disordered eating, not to mention created significant trust issues.

At age ten I started going on Omegle. I met and talked regularly with a seemingly friendly adult male crossdresser who would ask me to send him pictures of my shoes and feet. I was a prepubescent child, and I really thought he just liked my fashion. I didn’t realize his motivation until years later. 

At age eleven I was sexually abused and raped by a seventeen-year-old boy. I was visibly raped in front of several of his (male) friends and they laughed at me. I was again visibly raped ON A SCHOOL BUS, in front of my younger school friends who were too scared to speak out. The bus driver noticed and yelled “no sex on the bus” back to us. The entire bus burst into laughter and I was pretty much a pariah among my schoolmates after that. Again, I was eleven, and an adult was more concerned with keeping her bus clean than helping a child escape sexual violence. When my mom discovered this and brought it to the (male) principle he suspended ME and recommended I switch schools. The cops told us we had no case, and to this DAY my abuser makes multiple accounts to harass me. This sparked a hypersexual/kinky phase that I didn’t escape until around three years ago. Even after that it took significant time to even admit I only liked females. 

At age eighteen I worked weekends at a haunted house. That should have been a really fucking fun job for a teen to work, and at first it was. Then I was assaulted by a drunk middle-aged man. He pushed my costume up and said he knew “I was pretty under there”. My boss kicked him out, but later he told me to just accept it as part of the job. ONE of male coworkers pushed to have me stationed next to him, and it was only then that the harassment stopped. Only after I was “protected” by a male did other men stop trying to hurt me. 

Months later at the same age I was stalked by a male classmate. Each time we had a shared class he would stand in front of the door to ask me on a date. Eventually he started following me around campus nearly every day. He had autism and that was the excuse that university administration kept bringing up as to why he shouldn’t be punished. It wasn’t until I threated to bring up a title nine case that he was kicked from campus.

At age nineteen I was drugged and raped by a date. On my couch, which still sits just outside the room I stay in. When I contacted him afterward (which I shouldn’t have, but you know. I was young and wanted to offer the benefit of the doubt) he begged me not to go to the police. He said “please don’t put another black man in jail for no reason- aren’t you a prison abolitionist?”. I was, at the time, so I agreed. I still have really complicated feelings about that, and I keep having to remind myself that no matter his race, he raped me. He did deserve prison. 

Last year my current partner (who didn’t pass as a man at the time) and I were verbally harrassed on the bus by a group of men. They laughed among themselves and said things like “damn, they really going to hell” and “I could fuck the girly one better”. Eventually he stood up and propositioned me, saying that I wasn’t really a dyke and I just needed a real man to change my mind. An older black woman stood up and told him to fuck off. Once they got off the bus she talked to us about how she was a Christian, and how she disagreed with our “life choices”, but that she couldn’t sit idly while other women were in danger. I will remember her kindness and bravery for the rest of my life. To put oneself in the line of fire for another woman is one of the things I admire above all else.

These are just the most violent encounters I have had with males. This is not even encompassing the microaggressions, cat calling, sexual fat shaming, reproductive injustice, racialized sex-based fetishization, lesbophobic comments, and employment discrimination I have faced. And neither the extreme nor “average” examples I listed are uncommon. I am totally confident that every single woman (in the world) has faced at least three of these things in her lifetime. And it’s simply factual that many women have faced much worse. 

So yes. My experience with males pushed me to radical feminist thought. My experience hearing the stories of other (radfem and otherwise) females pushed me to radical feminist thought. Because in essentiality, fighting male oppression is exactly what radfeminism is about. Worldwide female solidarity is what radfeminism is about. And experiences of violent misogyny don’t invalidate our political beliefs- in fact they strengthen their validity. 

Feel free to share with your own experiences. People need to fucking hear real examples of why radfeminism is so important. 

#radical feminism #tw terf #tw radfem #tw rape #tw harrassment #tw stalking #tw csa #tw violence #tw male violence #radfems are right #radfems please interact #radfems please touch #radfems do interact #radfems do touch #radfems dni #radfems dont touch #transphobia #trans positive #twaw #tmam #lesbophobia #tw lesbophobia #tw homophobia #tw transphobia #trans inclusive radical feminism

[jaggedlittleteacup]

PATRICK MELROSE: EPISODE ONE

LIVE-BLOGGING I GUESS?

SPOILERS BELOW!!

Well okay this is starting off well- heroin is always a good choice

OH MY GOD HIS FATHER IS DEAD LMAO HE’S NOT GOING TO BE SAD

He’s not sad

Told you

Okay okay so he needs to go to a funeral??

Wait we get a sexy Ben shower scene, we are truly blessed on this day 😇🙏🏻

HE HAS SEX EW

Girl nonchalantly gives him drugs, nbd

STOP USING HEROIN

Why? His dad seems like a chucklefuck

IM SO FUCKING CONFUSED

wait no I understand now

Ohhhh

Oh.

Okay…um…wow. This is…yikes.

*watching through my fingers*

Ah. Yes. Drugs.

“iM nOt aN aMaTeUr”

*is an amateur* *chokes on a pill*

Ohhh shit he’s in the wrong room I’m cringing

FUCK I HATE HIS FATHER

I’m crying in a bathroom now, Patrick vibes are strong with me

STOP TAKING DRUGS DARLING

*flashbacks make me cry again*

*American accent* “Tryyyying to make me sad…bOo hOo.”

*crying again*

Oh fuck the drugs DO work- who would have known? *flashbacks to nOt bEiNg aN aMaTeUr*

Oh fuck you

*THUMP*

“It’s just the antibiotics…”

“NGGH!” *sqweeeeee* *thump*

“Mr. Melrose.” “hAh!” “All good?” *unintelligible moaning that sounds like “just jet-lagged”*

What the fuck

He’s using money to snort cocaine- IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM??!? WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING??!?

*blAReA bLaRgA bLaH* “THAT’LL FOOL ‘EM!”

*Narrator* “RETREAT ESCAPE EJECT EJECT!”

*crying again* MY BABY DOESN’T DESERVE THIS

Tar-tare tar-tare tar-tare!

“Will…someone be joining you…?” *voice crack* “fUCKing hell, I hope not…”

“I eat not from greed, but from passion!”

“Fuck! Fucking FATE, fuck, fuck!” *hits a telephone repeatedly*

Patrick are you okay…?

“Suuure I was gonna stab you” Mark if you touch him I will tear your heart from your chest with my teeth-

Stop…doing…heroin…🔪

Fuck this is making me remember my own abuse

But will that stop me

HELLS NO!

Pfft. Rich people.

Absolutely CRINGING- needles are horrible I am gonna go cRy-

HE STABBED HIMSELF- PATRICK YOU IDIOT-

DAMN IT PIERRE

*cries some more*

Pleeeeeeease stop with the cocaine GOD DAMN

oh my ears are dead- is that a fucking train whistle

What is happening.

He’s screaming. I’m scared. This is a very accurate representation of cocaine.

“Become part of the silence. Good.” PATRICK P L E A S E-

WHY IS HE SUDDENLY AMERICAN

“Now take a revolver and shoot his fucking brains out- bANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!” Yes I agree, your father was a dick

Oh. Trauma. Lovely.

Where did his trousers go- yknow what, I don’t want to know-

“You shouldn’t be alone” Yeah, you fucking THINK?

Who the fuck is Mary Ann

“Oh, THAT Mary Ann.” Yes, this explains rather a lot.

Patrick is Not Okay™️

HE STOLE SOME POOR BASTARD’S ICE

Fucking hell, he put a television by the bath

Oh he’s pouring…alcohol on his head…?

Um. I did NOT need to see Benedict’s ass

Still did though. Trauma

HE HAS AN EYEPATCH

R E D B E A R D

“Just like your father.” I WILL FUCKING STRANGLE HIS FATHER-

he’s cursing so damn much 😭

“Nothing but the best, or go without.” Again, I would have murdered his father if he wasn’t already DEAD-

👏🏻Awk👏🏻ward👏🏻si👏🏻lence

This fucker’s name is ‘Ballentine’? Fuck you

stop acting like your dad, Patrick. You’re better than that.

Why…is he bleeding…God, Patrick, I’m gonna cry, sTOP DOING HEROIN-

HE’S CARRYING HIS FATHER’S REMAINS IN A PLASTIC “THANK YOU” BAG WITH A SMILEY FACE I’M CRYING-

Wait Patrick is dating Debbie

How did I fucking miss this

“WaS iT a dIfFiCuLt ReLaTIoNsHiP, pAtRiCk?” “…Yes, Nancy.” FUCK YOU ALLLLL

MARY ANN I DON’T LIKE HER UGH

“I’d give up drugs forever…or at least have someone attractive to take them with.” 💀

“There’s hard work and ambition involved.” Same, Patrick. Same.

*throws ashes on the floor* “REVENGE AT LAST!”

Can I just take one moment to appreciate how beautiful Ben is in this- his acting, the emotion, Goddamn, his hair is lovely- just…he looks and performs beautifully.

Wow. Mary Ann…Christ. What a bitch.

Oh shit

WHY WON’T THE FUCKER JUST BREAK

THIS THING IS INDESTRUCTIBLE

*hits it with a ceramic toilet lid* *lid breaks* “hOOOOOW?!!????”

Patrick PLEASE- JESUS-

Scared little boy. He’s just a scared little boy.

I’m so uncomfortable, I’m not going to go into this.

God.

…Okay. Well. Christ.

OH CHRIST ON A STICK

IS HE OKAY

…his mum actually looks really sweet…

Here come the waterworks (figuratively and literally)

HE’S ALIVE, THANK FUCK

“And the sun shone, having no alternative on the nothing new…”

Well, the eyepatch is gone! *laughs nervously*

“There will be rivers of blood, and the wicked shall be drowned.” Wow. That’s an A+ quote- is it from the Bible?

“Never mind.”

“Oh, fine, tried to kill myself last night.” I felt that in my soul.

“Christ, are you all right?” fUCKING NO, DOES HE LOOK ALL RIGHT???

He’s crying, ay bendito, the poor thing…

Conclusion: This series is…bloody incredible, holy fucking shit. Benedict’s performance is one that I am awestruck by- just completely flummoxed by how much he embodies Patrick.

And by God, Patrick Melrose…He’s been through so much, and he just needs help, for Christ’s sake. I really hope he gets better.

Tune in tomorrow for the next episode!

#benedict cumberbatch #patrick melrose #liveblogging #amazon #Amazon prime #original series #edward st aubyn #based on a book #my feedback #i am so obsessed #this series is breaking my heart #tw abuse #tw drug abuse #tw suicide #benny batch brainrot #England’s accidental sex symbol

[champagnefriend]

Do all the evens you haven’t done and any divisible by 7!

OH BOY. (I took out all the ones about sex because the answer to all of them is no. Also, it’s late so, IDK if I got all the ones divisible by 7 because there’s so many and I’m terrible at math but I was close.)

2: Age - 16.6: 4 turns off - A man, poor hygiene, doesn’t love music, chews with their mouth open.7: My best friend - Rowan8: Sexual orientation - gaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygay10: How tall am I - 5′8″12: What time was I born - 12:26am.14: Do I have a crush - Yyyyyes I do.16: Favorite place - Ohhhh probably 18: Do I use sarcasm - Me? Sarcastic? NEVER.21: Shoe size - Women’s 10-11, Men’s 8-9, European 40-42.22: Eye color - Blue!24: Favorite style of clothing - Black.28: Favorite movie - I don’t know, actually. 30: Favorite band - Look at my blog and then take a wild guess.32: Someone I love - YOU, JULES. YOU. 34: My relationship with my parents - It’s fine. 35: Favorite holiday - Halloween. 36: Tattoos and piercing I have - Currently just my first earlobe piercing. 38: The reason I joined Tumblr - I needed a place to be Fall Out Boy Trash™.40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - Occasionally. They’re nice.42: When did I last hold hands? - Too long ago.44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - Nope.46: If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - Probably @collapsingstarintheuniverse (you know why, Brit).48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - I do.49: Am I excited about anything? - YES. MY BEST FRIEND IS MOVING MUCH CLOSER TO ME TOMORROW.50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - Yep.52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - Yesterday…?54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - Probably.58: What’s my strangest talent? - I have no talents60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Both, depending on what I’m doing.62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Video chatting.63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - I don’t know where I stand on ghosts, but there is no way we are the only life in the universe.64: Do I believe in magic? - Not really.66: What’s the weather like right now? - Dark. 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - I’m indifferent to it.70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? - My collarbone broke when I was born due to complications.72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - Nope.74: Favorite animal? - I’m basic, but dogs.76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Smith. A nice generic last name for THE DEVIL HIMSELF.77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Alpha Dog.78: How can you win my heart? - Be a cute girl who’s nice, sweet, and loves hugs and music.80: What is my favorite word? - Petrichor. 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - NAZI PUNKS FUCK OFF84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - The ability to stop time.86: What is my current desktop picture? - Yosemite at night.88: Bought condoms? - No.90: Failed a class? - I got a D in a class once and retook it the next year.91: Kissed a boy? - Yes92: Kissed a girl? - Yes94: Had a job? - Not yet96: Bullied someone on the internet? - No, and I never will (if you do this, please block me).98: Played on a sports team? - For the first month and a half of my freshman year of high school, I played field hockey. It was living hell.100: Did drugs? - Only prescription. 102: Drank alcohol? - A small amount.104: Been overweight? - I don’t think so.105: Been underweight? - Nope.106: Been to a wedding? - I have, but I was less than a year old so I don’t remember it.108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Not TV, but YouTube.110: Gotten my heart broken? - Oooooh yes.114: Been to prom? - Yeah, my school is small and allows all grades at prom. 116: Fly in a helicopter? - Yes.118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - I’m literally. A lesbian. So yes.119: Learned another language? - I’ve been taking Spanish for 10 years, and I’m somehow still complete garbage at it.120: Wore make up? - Yes!! I love makeup but I’m too lazy to do it every day.124: Voted in a presidential election? - No, I’m not old enough. I will be in 2020 though. 126: Had a surgery? - Only my wisdom teeth (which wasn’t that bad).128: Stalked someone on a social network? - In the slang meaning of the term, yes.130: Been fishing? - I once went fly fishing.132: Been rejected by a crush? - Not yet, because I’ve only ever asked out one crush because I knew they were into me. 

#asks #sweet-honey-universe #food #alcohol #drugs #teeth #surgery #dogs #broken bones #bones

[butteredonions]

Hihi! You mentioned on AO3 you have no prompts for Ulaz and Shiro right now, so...if you're still taking prompts, would you mind writing one about Ulaz and Shiro - maybe at the Blade headquarters? Thanks!

Ohhhh I do not mind. I do not mind at all.

Technically they aren’t at the Blade headquarters here, but. Um. I’m not sorry. 

:D

–

Kolivan is not pleased when Ulaz calls him from halfway across the galaxy.

“There were no other options,” Ulaz repeats, for the third time. Kolivan stares back at him from the communication screen, silent and impassive. His mask is down, but it’s no improvement: Kolivan’s face is nearly as stoic and unreadable as if he had the mask up.

Nearly. Ulaz isn’t fooled. The tick in the corner of Kolivan’s eye and the small flare of his nostrils give him away.

“Be that as it may,” Kolivan says. His tone speaks volumes, too: brusque, blunt, syllables sharper and harsher than usual. ‘Not pleased’ is an understatement. “I cannot permit you to come blindly back to headquarters after such a foolish sacrifice.”

“My actions were not foolish,” Ulaz insists, defensive and heated. The comm unit in the stolen Galra ship is small, made smaller by the tracking devices Ulaz ripped out and dismantled with his bare hands. The ship was intended for short journeys; it was never meant to make the long trek Ulaz faces now. “Against your timing, perhaps, but not foolish. Thace is still on board. He will remain as informant for as long as physically and feasibly possible.”

“The choice was not yours to make.”

“And yet I have made it.”

“At what cost?” Kolivan asks. The comm image blurs for a tick before it steadies, stable. “Your plan has failed. This was your alternative?”

Ulaz casts a glance over his shoulder. Shiro’s asleep, propped up against the far wall - ‘far’ is a generous statement. This ship is too small. Shiro’s tucked his back into a corner, his arm cradled to his chest. He’s sleeping off the drug and what Ulaz is fairly certain is a concussion.

“No,” Ulaz admits, quietly, “This was not part of my plan.”

Kolivan sighs, less an exhale and more the irritated flare of his nostrils again. “Then you have sacrificed your position for nothing.”

“I have sacrificed it so that we might gain,” Ulaz snaps. “To turn the tides, by removing what Haggar hoped to be her greatest weapon and retaining him for our own use. Saving his life. The Champion would not have survived her second experiment. Would you leave another member of an innocent species to die?”

“We cannot save the lives of everyone,” Kolivan reminds him. Ulaz resists the urge to close his own eyes, roll them towards the ceiling in exasperation. Kolivan’s ‘caution’ has saved the Blade of Marmora from discovery innumerable times, but sometimes - sometimes their leader’s ‘caution’ is a frustrating, stupid unwillingness to act.

And he calls me foolish.

Ulaz draws in a careful breath. Lets it out. Patience. Patience will win this fight.

“We must save Shiro’s planet,” Ulaz insists. “Zarkon will go after the Blue Lion now that he knows its location. He will stop at nothing to obtain it. Once he has two Lions, do you really think he will stop until he has all five? How is sitting by and allowing that to occur not worth the risk?”

“Then take him there,” Kolivan says. “Take the Champion to his home. Let him defend them, if he can.”

“He cannot,” Ulaz says. ‘Asleep’ is a generous term; Shiro’s unconscious, more like. The drugs still course through his system, wearing at the concussion, weaning away the pain of the violently broken arm. Shiro does not feel it now, but he will when he awakens. “He was injured during our escape. An accident. I cannot abandon him now.”

Kolivan does not answer. Ulaz resists the urge to fidget and maintains eye contact, steady and immobile. This is right. A surprise, yes, but right.

“You are certain Zarkon knows of the Blue Lion’s location,” Kolivan says, at last.

“Yes,” Ulaz repeats, firm. Shiro sleeps behind him, barely more than two arms’ length away. The stolen ship is small. “I would not have abandoned my post for any other reason.”

Kolivan is silent for so long Ulaz fears the connection has frozen.

“What is your plan, then?” Kolivan asks, at last, and Ulaz fights down a grin.

Patience always wins.

“Send ships to Earth,” Ulaz says. The starmap on his display shows the small planet, out of reach and the wrong direction for Ulaz and Shiro’s little pod. “Stop Zarkon before he reaches the planet. I am bringing Shiro back to headquarters.”

“The ships we can discuss,” Kolivan says. “The rest - ”

“It will be at least a quintent before we arrive,” Ulaz says, cutting Kolivan off. Ulaz was prepared for this, too. “I have disabled all tracking beacons on this ship, and we will switch over to a second one in the Arkelion system. I can plot additional double-backs into our course than what I already have, but cannot tarry too long.  Shiro needs aid, quickly, and I have no such supplies on hand.”

“The Champion,” Kolivan begins, but Ulaz isn’t done.

“Furthermore, Zarkon has every reason to believe we are dead. I detonated two explosions to cover our escape. Thace himself will vouch for me. Our escape, while perhaps ‘ill-timed’, could not have been more secure.”

Kolivan is silent. Behind Ulaz Shiro groans, the noise weak and involuntary. Ulaz doesn’t turn. The new hitch in Shiro’s breathing, the slight shift of fabric against the grating of the floor, is enough.

The sound must travel through the speakers. Kolivan’s eyes flicker to the side, over Ulaz’s shoulder.

“He is with you,” Kolivan says. A statement.

“Yes,” Ulaz says, simply. “Shiro needs aid. Would you deny it to him?”

Kolivan doesn’t speak. His gaze remains fixed over Ulaz’s shoulder, face creased in a deeper frown. Immovable, except for that tiny twitch at the corner of his nostril. A widening of his eyes, ever so slight.

The risk is worth it.

“Would you deny yourself the chance to meet the Champion in person?” Ulaz teases. “He defeated Myzak. He survived the Twins of Terror. He even defeated-”

“I will speak with the others,” Kolivan snaps, and closes the comms.

Ulaz chuckles to himself and ends the connection, too.

“Is it true?” a hoarse voice asks, from behind him. Ulaz finishes powering down the communications, taking his time.

“I was not expecting you to awaken for some time,” he admits, turning round. “How are you feeling?”

Shiro blinks blearily up at Ulaz from his position in the corner. He’s only half-awake by the barest of technical definitions.

“ ‘m here,” Shiro says - whatever that might mean. His words are soft and slurred, his eyes half-lidded and straining to focus. The drug remains at work, then. Ulaz had calculated a lower dosage for today intentionally, but his calculations appear to have been off. Does the drug work differently when its recipient receives only part of a dose? Or is this the result when its recipient crashes from an incredible adrenaline spike immediately after? Shiro’s file is unavailable to consult; Ulaz makes a mental note regardless.

“Is that true?” Shiro whispers. He swallows. The motion looks painful. “What you said.”

“Many things are true,” Ulaz answers obliquely. He sets the ship on autopilot and rises from his chair. Shiro shrinks further into the corner, a reflexive action matched with his panicked intake of breath. Ulaz freezes, waiting.

Of course. Shiro scarcely has reason to trust him. Ulaz freed him, yes, but Ulaz also has…they have a history, regrettable as it might be. One action, however gracious, however grand, can barely override that.

Patience. Patience wins the battle.

“You will have to be more specific,” Ulaz prompts, crouching to a lower height. He makes no move to mask his actions or intent. Even crouching Ulaz is still taller than Shiro, but this height should be less intimidating.

If Shiro’s even tracking that train of thought. One of his pupils isn’t dilating correctly, a funny observation and size compared to the other. Ulaz frowns, leaning in a little closer.

“Haggar,” Shiro clarifies. The word’s a struggle to get out of his throat. “Her - experiment. What - what was her plan for me?”

Ulaz considers. Shiro meets his gaze, inasmuch as he can with his eyes struggling to remain open. He is exceptionally vulnerable like this; injured, ill, three feet away from someone who until this morning had been most definitely one of his most frequent tormentors. The smell of his fear and panic in their small space is bitter and sharp. This may not be an arena, but Shiro is fighting his own battle in this ship: a battle he also has no control over, sailing through unknown territory towards an equally uncertain welcome.

Protectiveness clenches at Ulaz’s heart, fierce and bitter in its own way. The force of it surprises him.

Patience. Ulaz cannot change the past, no, but this much he can atone for.

“Haggar wanted your other arm,” Ulaz says.

Shiro flinches violently. The motion hurts him; he cries out in pain. Ulaz lurches forward, stopping himself just in time. Shiro only curls in on himself more, clutching his forearm to his chest.

Ulaz cannot reach Shiro. Not yet. Shiro is so vulnerable, like this. He is so small.

“Is that w-why she broke it?” Shiro gasps. Tears prick at his eyes. His voice is so quiet Ulaz might have missed it if not for his own superior hearing.

“She did not,” Ulaz corrects, frowning. “The injury occurred during our escape. An accident I did not plan for. You twisted at a bad angle and broke your arm after the sentries attacked. The explosion caught you off guard.”

Shiro just stares, wide-eyed and unfocused. A young animal - no. A fellow being, a person, trapped and in pain.

“Oh,” Shiro whispers, at last. He’s shaking somewhat, another involuntary response. His body’s been pushed past its limits. Ulaz wishes again for Shiro’s file.

“And you are not going to remember this conversation either, from the concussion you sustained crashing into the ship itself,” Ulaz says, softly. The amount of gentleness in his words surprises even him. Huh. “Here. Your arm will need a sling if it is to heal properly, and not aggravate further until I can get you to a healing pod. Would you not let me set it?”

Shiro stares at him for so long Ulaz is afraid he, too, has been frozen in communication. Lost in time and mistakes neither of them can amend.

“You saved me,” Shiro whispers. His eyelids flutter, miserable; he’s fighting the concussion and the remnants of that drug desperately. He’s losing.

“I did,” Ulaz agrees, and even permits himself a small smile. “May I help you now, too?”

The surge of protectiveness flares up again, heated and determined. That isn’t the surprise.

The gentle flush of warmth in his chest when Shiro finally nods, and allows Ulaz closer -

Oh.

Well.

That’s new.

#voltron #ulaz #shiro #uliro #basically I can't refuse an uliro prompt #I had to make myself stop #thanks so much for this! #sorry they're not at the headquarters #not yet #but I think this should be fine instead ;) #onion writes #the onion answers #ptw30 #not hunk day #:) #yep should probably just tag this one what it is #whoops #(also you can't tell me kolivan the fanboy is not a thing) #(bring it on)

[helenpowers]

1-44

You, my dear, are a cheeky bum.

1: Virgin?

Yes.

2: Shoe size

7

3: Do you smoke?

No, but I have once before.

4: Do you drink?

Sometimes.

5: Do you take drugs?

I take stuff for my back (I have a hole in my spine) on an almost regular basis to help with pain, but nothing that isn’t doctor perscribed.

6: Age you get mistaken for

25-ish

7: Have tattoos?

No.

8: Want any tattoos?

SO MANY.

9: Got any piercings?

Yes. Both of my earlobes. 

10: Want any piercings?

Nothing more than I already have.

11: Best friend?

I have too many people to choose between, but the three that pop into my mind are @crystalcanary @tangledlinescrumpledpaper and Catrina.

12: Relationship status

Terminally Single.

13: Biggest turn ons

Sense of Humor

14: Biggest turn offs

Unwashed Hair, Shitty Humor, Hates Reading.

15: Favorite movie

The Fall (2006) or Tangled

16: I’ll love you if

You can tell me the name of the song I have as my ringtone, you can talk to me about Dragon Age for ridiculously long amounts of time, you like to read and talk about what you read, you like to write and like to talk about what you write, you give me lemon loaf.

17: Someone you miss

Catrina, Isadora, Aubretia, Jack.

18: Most traumatic experience

Ohhhh boy. I almost got run over by a car when I was 12 (the tire literally ran over the back part of my shoe, it was so close), I had an alergic reaction to some medication right before getting on a plane that was going to be the start of a 28-ish hour long journey, I walked in on my parents having sex when I was six. The list is endless.

19: A fact about your personality

I’m incredibly shy when it comes to talking to people, but if they talk to me first, then I can talk about pretty much anything.

20: What I hate most about myself

The fact that I’m so shy. My tummy. How insecure I can be. Again, the list can be much longer than I would like.

21: What I love most about myself

My sense of humor, my kindness, my eyes.

22: What I want to be when I get older

I want to be an author who can actually live off of their writing. Other than that, I think being a professional editor would be pretty cool.

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

I get along really well with both of my brothers, although I talk to one far more often than I do the other. They both live quite far away from me now, so I miss them a lot.

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

My heroes. I don’t know what I would do without them.

25: My idea of a perfect date

Going to a bookstore and sharing our favorite books with each other. Maybe exchanging some of our favorite books. Coffee or tea afterwards to talk about our hauls and to get to know each other better.

26: My biggest pet peeves

Dirtiness (as in actual dirt, not thoughts/humor), when people don’t ask my permission about stuff that is important to me. Probably others that I can’t think of right now.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

I don’t really like anyone right now, so this is a bit difficult. I mean, I have 2 schoolyard crushes, but nothing that is beyond that.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Oh boy, this could go on for a while. I’ll try to keep it fairly short. They are shorter than me, shorter hair the last time I saw them - maybe shoulder length. Last I actually saw them in person they were blonde, but that has probably changed by now. Probably medium brown hair. Glasses. Annoying, shrill voice that grates on the ears. Can’t take a hint. 

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

Scared that they are going to judge me.

30: What I hate the most about work/school

I hate that my current university doesn’t always offer the courses that I need for my degree, so it constantly takes me longer to move through the program than it should.

31: What your last text message says

“welcome, babe”

32: What words upset me the most

“We need to talk,” “I’ve got your exam grades,” “I’m finished the chapter...”

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

“Good writing hardly goes unnoticed these days, and yours will be no exception.”

34: What I find attractive in women

Eyes, lips, sense of humor, intelligence.

35: What I find attractive in men

Eyes, butts, sense of humor, intelligence.

36: Where I would like to live

Somewhere in Europe - probably the UK. Preferably near a large publishing house that I could work at.

37: One of my insecurities

My weight.

38: My childhood career choice

Veterinarian.

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

French Vanilla

40: Who wish I could be

Scarlett Johansson. I mean, really. Have you seen her? Have you seen her act? Have you heard her voice? Yes please.

41: Where I want to be right now

Home.

42: The last thing I ate

Alfredo that my roommate made for me.

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

Lee Pace. Always.

44: A random fact about anything

I get to see my cat in a few days, and honestly I am so excited.