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#oh my god i loved the SHIT out of these books
waltricia · 2 days
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Bridgerton season 2 episode 3, “A Bee in Your Bonnet” is ✨magic✨ and let me tell you why.
For those of us who didn’t read the book and knew nothing of what was going to happen, we truly went on an incredible and surprising roller coaster of an experience.
We start the episode with seeing the guy from Hellboy and being like ‘oh yay, it’s the guy from Hellboy!’
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… only for him to die three minutes later. And that scene is rough. It’s sudden and abrasive. And the sounds are jarring. The death is scored by tense strings. Then a moment of quiet. Then the AMAZING Ruth Gemmell begins taking us on Violet’s traumatic grief journey, which starts with her jolting Anthony (and us) out of the quiet.
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And a thunderous heartbeat threatens him as he walks toward this entirely altered, unwanted life path. And that’s obviously the beginning of his PTSD.
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In the other flashbacks throughout the episode, we continue to hear horrific, heart-rending pain radiate out of Violet while Anthony must not only attempt to endure it, but cover his own grief. Anthony and his siblings (and again, we the audience) all have to listen to Violet grieve while she’s giving birth! Screams on top of screams.
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And the last flashback is technically quiet, but just as devastating because, like the moment of Edmund’s death, the quiet is weaponized. It signifies the death inside Violet.
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It should go without saying that Jonathan Bailey is also a brilliant actor, but I’ll say it now anyway. Damn, he good! He and Ruth partnered perfectly in this grief journey. Serious props to them both because I felt this shit.
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And then finally we come to the end. We had been immersed in the horrible aftermath of that striking tragedy. Between the flashbacks- in the present day- we had followed Anthony through the rooms and grounds where he had suffered silently. We had seen Edmund’s grave. We had learned that Anthony’s greatest fears and insecurities all stemmed from that tragic event ten years prior.
And then another fucking bee comes along.
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And I swear to god, the first time I watched this, when Kate got stung, my heart was pounding, I was terrified, and my instinctive reaction was “oh my god, is she going to die?!” In hindsight, it’s obviously insane to think that she would be killed off at all, let alone in this scene. But the very fact that, for a moment, that was a legitimate fear I had is exactly why this episode is so god damn brilliant. I felt what Anthony felt. And I’m not the only one! I’ve seen other people’s similar reactions to this scene. The episode really is a roller coaster; easy, lighthearted moments (pall mall, drug tea), interspersed with the terrifying drops and loops that are Anthony’s painful memories which constantly haunt him. And then it brought us right back to that first traumatic moment. Because Anthony has PTSD! And that’s what PTSD does. Anthony is right back where he was, literally not far from the same spot outside Aubrey Hall, standing in front of a person he loves, watching them get stung by a bee on almost the same spot on their body. The tense string scoring comes back and Anthony panics because he’s completely helpless again.
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And all of those elements- the setting, the scoring, the acting- combined to terrify us and make us forget something critical: most people don’t die from beestings.
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And here’s where it gets really profound for me. Because it’s not just about how we feel Anthony’s fear. It’s also about how Kate completely obliterates it. Without knowing that history and without realizing the full extent of what her actions would mean, she does exactly the right thing. Rather than die and rather than also panic or shy away from his vulnerability, she meets it with her own in the form of care and steady assurance, which is true strength. And in so doing, she stops this cyclical moment in its tracks and completely alters the trauma. She puts his hand on her heart, and the heartbeat comes back. But this time, it’s not threatening. It’s inviting.
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And just like in the first scene, the moment is over all too quickly. Just like in that scene, Anthony is thrust onto a new path. But where that moment was damaging, this one is healing. And we feel that too. And it’s the greatest experience that art can give us.
It’s catharsis.
And that’s why this episode is magic. 🐝✨
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t-r99 · 8 hours
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Obsessed
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Oliver loves you so much, why can't you see that?
Oliver Aiku x fem reader
College au
Aiku is lowkey a lunatic (completey delusional & unhinged)
warnings: stalking, mental torture, manipulation, deception, gaslightning, coercion || anxiety, paranoia, brief panic attack || dub con bordering on non con (blink and you miss it brief and tame smut at the end *whispers* spooning)
This was supposed to be pure porn but I changed my mind. It did not turn out the way I wanted.
Quick background: mc is being stalked by someone who keeps texting and sending pictures and has been for weeks.
Given that this is a blue lock fic, all of readers friends are guys heh.
wc: 10k
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God, why did I stay so long? You think. You usually don't stay at the library for this long, preferring to quickly find the books you need in the moment then leave.
Staying this long means you'll walk home well after sunset. Hours after sunset means it's dark. Darkness means it's easier to follow people. Following someone walking alone means-
I'm overthinking again. You sigh.
This is torture.
It's been a few days since the last text you received. You can't help but to open your phone several times a day and read all the shit the person has sent in the past few weeks, hoping to figure out who they are.
It feels like you're being watched.
You take in every last little detail of your surroundings.
A few people are out and walking who knows where, some of them familiar. You've seen them at school.
Almost home, You tell yourself. The apartment building you call home is less than a minute away.
You turn to look behind you, but no one is following you like you thought . . . and it feels like you're going crazy.
At this point, you expect a text from another unknown ID welcoming you home. The guy on the other side does it sometimes. It's bad enough that he knows which building you live in, you just hope he doesn't know which apartment is yours. You may as well dig your own grave if he does.
The elevator feels suffocating when you step in. You're alone but you keep expecting it to stop before it reaches your floor and that someone else will step in.
What if he steps in? What if you end up alone in this tiny little box with your worst nightmare and-
Ding.
You gasp at the sound, only staying still for a half a second before stepping out.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. What if he's is behind you? What if he's waiting for you to open the door so he can push you in and trap you?
You turn around, heart pounding.
There's no one there.
Just as you unlock your door, another opens a few steps away and you hear familiar voices. Out of the other apartment steps Aiku, and then you see Otoya, they're saying bye for tonight. It's the latter's apartment, you remember.
Aiku spots you but you look away and ignore him. You know them both, not that you particularly like them or enjoy their company, it's just that you share the same friends. You almost wish you were actually being followed for a second so Otoya and Aiku could beat the guy senseless.
Otoya pops his head out the doorframe and asks if you're okay when he sees that you're stressed.
Ignoring them both, you step inside and close the door behind you.
Home.
You're home.
I'm home, You tell yourself, repeating it iver and over for a few seconds.
There's a knock on the door and your heart almost leaps out of your chest.
It's him, it's him, it's him, it's hi-
You hear a familiar voice call your name, followed by, "Everything okay?" It's Aiku.
You gulp and take a deep breath before cracking the door just enough to see his face. Otoya is standing behind him and asks, "Something happen?"
"I'm fine, I," You gulp again, feeling lightheaded. "I just need some rest."
"Sure?" Aiku asks. "You look a bit pale."
"I'm fine, I promise." You insist. "I'm going to bed."
"'kaaay," Otoya gives a peace sign. "night."
You close the door and take a moment to try to calm yourself.
*
Outside, Otoya strains to not laugh out loud. He can't help it, though, forced to slap a hand against his mouth to muffle the sound of his amused giggling.
Aiku hushes him and smirks. "Shut up, you'll ruin everything." He says.
"Seriously, dude, why do you even bother at this point?"
Who knows? Maybe Oliver has gotten a bit obsessed. He won't give up until he gets what he wants, and he wants you.
Aiku doesn't just want sex. He wants you.
"It'll be worth it." He says.
Sure, you don't want him yet, but you will soon.
*
You feel a bit better after a long and warm shower, not a lot, but at least it's something.
You haven't eaten. Honestly, you can't find it in you to eat these days. Sometimes two or even three days pass before you realize you're starving. You've been losing weight for weeks, and looking in the mirror now you see just how much it has affected you.
Aiku was right, you're pale.
Look at me. You feel disgusted by the sight.
It takes you a few moments to force yourself to look away and leave the bathroom to go get dressed. Despite living several floors above the ground, with no buildings facing your bedroom window, you still feel the need to pull the curtain to hide.
What if he is watching? It's impossible to know.
You quickly get dressed, not comfortable with being naked even in your own bedroom with the windows covered, and then it happens again.
Two quick vibrations, the sound of a text, make your heart stop for a second.
Again, two vibrations.
Another two . . .
That's three texts.
Your hand shakes as you reach out for the phone that you honestly just want to smash up. You want to throw away all your electronics and find a cave out in the wilderness to hide in so no one will ever be able to contact you again.
The first one says exactly what you expect, Welcome home.
He was watching you walk home.
You shouldn't be out alone in the dark, it's dangerous. The second text is almost funny.
The third makes your blood run cold, Don't worry. I'll protect you.
When will this end?
While you're holding the phone, he sends a picture. This is the fourth time he's done this exact thing, having written, I don't know where you live. Maybe I should come in and knock on every door until I find yours.
It's a picture of the entrance to the building.
There's a knock on your apartment door.
. . . No.
You dare not move.
Should you look through the peephole? What if it's him and you finally get to see who it is? It could be someone you know, or maybe a complete stranger.
Another knock.
Go away. You want to scream. You want to yell at him to leave you alone.
No more knocks follow.
You don't know how long you stand frozen in your spot, taking slow breaths and standing as still and as quietly as you can.
Only when your feet hurt from standing there for so long do you finally snap out of it. You take your phone and set it to airplane mode, and you lock yourself in the bathroom.
There you remain until morning.
Of course you don't sleep.
You think about calling a friend to come over so you won't have to walk to school alone, or maybe you should just skip today and stay home.
Please . . . You curl up in the corner and sob. I can't take it anymore.
It feels like an eternity has passed when you leave the bathroom.
Staying home felt like the best thing to do. At least he doesn't know which apartment is yours so you can just stay in and not go out where he can spot and follow you again.
Your phone is still on airplane mode and you contemplate turning the function off. Will you only find texts from your friends asking why you didn't show up today or will you get more messages from him?
I'm hungry. You didn't eat last night.
There's very little in your kitchen and your heart sinks when you realize you have to go get some groceries soon.
There's a knock . . .
You gasp at the sound and turn to look at the door. It's the middle of the day so there's no way it's him. He only fucks with you after dark so-
Another knock.
You faintly hear someone call your name. "It's Otoya, you okay in there?"
That's a relief.
The front door cracks open and you look up at him. Otoya rarely shows much emotion on his face but you actually see some worry in his eyes. "Everything okay? You didn't show up at school."
You gulp. "I don't . . . feel very well." Your voice is hoarse and your throat feels rough, itching as you speak.
"I noticed last night. I just wanted to make sure you were all right so I knocked but you didn't answer."
Oh, it was him? It was just Otoya, not the guy on the other end of the phone. "Sorry," You say quietly. "I must've fallen asleep." You lie.
"No worries. Just come over if you ever need anything, yeah?"
"Yeah." You murmur. "Thanks."
You wonder just how messed up you look if it's enough to make Otoya of all people worry.
I'm going crazy. You close the door and sniffle, eyes welling with tears.
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A few quiet days pass and it is actually nerve wracking. Normally you would be happy, no texts, no paranoia and the feeling of being watched, but after those texts and the picture of the building entrance you just can't relax.
It feels like the calm before the storm.
You can't shake off the feeling that you're being watched everywhere you go, on campus, on the road, sometimes even when you're at home, feeling the need to check every inch of the apartment multiple times a day to make sure you're actually alone.
"You okay? You've been staring at the textbook forever." Chigiri's voice pulls you from your thoughts.
"Hm?"
He looks worried. Everyone has been worried about you lately, it makes you feel hopeless and pathetic. "More stalker texts?"
You shake your head. "Not for a few days." Your voice is small, heavy with sleep deprivation. "But everytime someone calls or texts or," Just talking about this makes you nauseous. "whenever someone knocks on my door I don't know what to think."
Before Chigiri can say anything else, a few of the other guys show up. Isagi comes and reminds him that they have training soon.
Why does it feel like all eyes are on you?
You're uncomfortable.
"I think I'll go home." You say. Before it gets dark.
"Sure you'll be okay on your own?" Chigiri asks.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine." You clear your throat and close your textbook. "I'm fine." You insist.
Keeping your gaze down, you ignore everyone and mutter a quick bye, missing the way a pair of dual coloured eyes watch you walk away.
Thank goodness that the sun is still high in the sky as you walk home.
Is this to be your new normal? Are you supposed to live the rest of your life in a constant state of panic?
Still no texts. No creepy pictures of your building. No knocking on the door. To be fair, it was Otoya, not some creepy lunatic of a stalker.
You sit down on your bed with a defeated bed then fall back.
"I hate this." You whisper.
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It's been a week since the night you spent terrified in the bathroom. He has still not sent anything, and for once you're actually in a better mood. Maybe he got bored of me, You think, and you truly hope that that's the case.
The days are growing shorter and colder. Winter is right around the corner and you wonder how you'll feel once it starts getting dark outside earlier. Your mind drifts back to the text that said, You shouldn't be out alone in the dark, it's dangerous.
Yeah, it can be dangerous alright. You haven't felt safe in a long time thanks to the bastard.
You're getting ready to eat, reaching up to the cabinet to grab a plate when there's a knock on the door.
Is it him?
Fuck, what if it is?
No, nothing has happened lately, You tell yourself.
More knocking . . .
You set the plate down on the counter and go to the door, wondering if it's one of your friends. Quite a few of them live in the same building, cheap and close to campus.
Upon opening the door, you find that there's no one there.
Oh, God . . .
Fuck. Shit, shit, fuck.
Your phone vibrates and the sound makes you jump.
You don't want to check it.
No.
Damn it.
When will this stop?
*
It's kind of funny. Otoya peers over Aiku's shoulder and cracks up. "Dude, you'll end up giving the chick a heart attack one day."
What Oliver wants is to be there when you need someone and be the one you lean on for emotional support. He'll have you depending on him in no time. "Hey, you told her to come over if she needs help, right?"
"Uh huh."
Aiku hopes you'll do it now. He's going at this pretty hard and doubts you'll stay alone in your apartment when you think your stalker is in the building. Everyone you know in the building live on other floors while Otoya's apartment is the only one close to yours. Come on, doll, don't disappoint me now.
Oliver wants to jump and pump his fist in success when he hears a knock on Otoya's door. He stays on the couch while his friend goes to open, hearing him say, "Hey, you okay?"
Aiku gets off the couch and goes to the hall where you're standing right outside. You're trying to keep yourself calm but he can see panic in your eyes, those beautiful eyes that should be on him and only him. "Have, uhm . . ." You close your eyes and take a deep breath. "Have you heard anyone outside?"
"No, why?" Otoya feigns ignorance. "Are you sure you're okay? You're shaking."
Oliver almost feels bad, but he just needs to make sure his plan works. If everything ends up working out then he's only a few days away from being able to call you his and hold and comfort you. "Stalker again?" He asks.
Aiku doesn't like using that word. It makes him feel like a creep. He's not a creep, he just wants you to be his but you're not making it easy for him.
Your only reply is a small nod.
Otoya steps aside. "Okay, come on. Come in." He urges you to step inside and you're more than happy to. "What happened this time? Did he text again?"
"I- I think he . . . I think he's i- in the building."
Oh, you poor thing.
Oliver tells you to sit down on the couch. You're holding your phone, clutching it tightly.
He doesn't need to give Otoya a look that silently asks him to help out. His friend already knows what to do while Oliver talks to you and tries to calm you down.
Your mind is racing with a million questions, but it goes blank when your phone vibrates in your hand and you look down at it in terror, too scared to check the text.
Oliver looks down at it. "Here, let me." He offers. Your hand is shaking when he takes it from you. "It's okay, I got you." He takes your hand in his and rubs soothing circles on the back. What did Otoya text, he wonders.
Aiku wants to laugh when he reads it. It includes the number of Otoya's apartment, followed by, Is this your place? I can hear your pretty voice coming from inside.
Damn, he really couldn't have asked for a better bro.
"What . . . What does . . ."
Oliver hushes you gently and locks the phone instead of showing you. "It's okay, we'll deal with the guy."
Otoya steps behind the couch. "What's up?"
"You want to check if there's anyone in the hall?" Oliver asks. He's still holding your hand.
"I got it." Otoya gives a thumbs up and heads out. You want to tell him to stay inside, scared that the stalker might be dangerous, but your voice gets caught in your throat.
"Hey, it's okay." Oliver says softly. "Everything will be okay." He lets go of your hand and puts his arm around you instead when you exhale shakily and sob hopelessly.
You're just tired at this point. The past several weeks have left you so paranoid and terrified that you can't sleep. You don't eat, barely drink, you struggle to take care of yourself. It's beyond tiring. "I'm scared . . ." You whisper.
Oliver holds you close. He feels all warm inside like this, loving the feeling of your smaller body in his embrace like he's wanted for so long. He looks down at where your cheek is pressed against his chest and put his other arm around you comfortingly.
You're his.
You don't know it yet but you are his.
*
I fell asleep . . . Your eyes flutter partially open. You wonder when you did, and how you even managed to given how scared you were. How scared you still are.
A pair of arms are around you. You open your eyes further and see that you're in an apartment you don't recognize, then you look up and see that you're being held by a sleeping Aiku, and you remember that you're in Otoya's apartment.
You don't exactly dislike the two, it's just that you don't like their womanizing and their attitudes. Who would have ever thought that you would go to Otoya's place in a panic and be comforted by Aiku of all people?
Oliver wakes up when you move in his arms. "Hey," He clears his throat and blinks. "Hey, you feel any better?"
A tiny bit maybe. "I guess." You say in a small voice. You still don't want to go back to your own apartment where you'll just end up hiding in the bathroom at the sound of your phone receiving a text or a knock on your door.
Aiku can easily see that you're still shaken up and he hopes you'll let him hold you like this even longer.
You exhale shakily. "I don't want to be alone . . ."
"You're not alone, I got you." He rubs your back gently.
It feels nice . . . "Thank you." You whisper, relaxing further against him.
Oliver bites his bottom lip and smiles. You're starting to warm up to him, it's perfect.
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It's been a few days and you can't stop thinking about that night. Otoya didn't find anyone in the hallway so you still have no idea who he is, but the one thing you can't stop thinking about is how comforting it was to be held by Aiku.
You feel ridiculous for it, even more so whenever you see him and feel your cheeks heat up.
He asks how you're doing everyday now and if anything else has happened since that night.
It's embarrassing how you almost immediately relaxed so much you actually fell asleep in his arms back then and it makes you want to avoid him.
Oliver hates that. He was so happy to have finally managed to push you to him for support, but now you don't talk to him other than short answers where you tell him you're doing okay whenever he asks, and he can't stand it.
He hates having to scare you so much. Why are you being so stubborn? Why do you try to hide how much it affects you? All you're doing is forcing his hand at this point. Why won't you just let him in?
He contemplates sending a text or two or maybe a picture of your apartment building. Those don't usually do much, though. Aiku exhales heavily as he tries to think of something more effective.
The door knocking was enough to get you to go to Otoya's apartment, but no more than that.
What to do? What to do?
Oliver doesn't want to threaten you. He doesn't want to scare you like that. You're his special girl, after all.
What to do?
*
It's gotten dark, You think grimly.
Classes are done for the day and now you're forced to walk home in the dark. The boys have training in a bit so you can't walk back to the student apartments with any of them, and all your other friends live in the opposite direction. It would be rude to ask someone to accompany you home and in turn force them to walk twice as far back to their own place.
Damn bastard.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket and you pick it up.
The colour drains from your face when you unlock it and open the text you've received, a picture of you right this moment.
The picture has been taken from your left. You turn in a flash to see if you can spot the stalker, but you only see your peers. Some are standing in groups and talking to their friends, others are looking down at their phones as they're leaving for the day.
Who is it?
Who could it be?
Where is he?
"Hey,"
You spin around with a sharp gasp at the feeling of someone touching your arm.
"Shit, did something happen?" It's just Aiku. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He steps back to give you space. "What happened?"
You're breathing too fast for comfort now, unable to speak. All you manage to do is point in the direction behind you and look down ar your phone.
"Again? What the hell does the guy want now? Show me."
Hands shaking, you take a moment to unlock your phone and open your texts. Aiku takes your phone and reads the message from the No Caller ID that says, You look really good today. He open the picture and takes a sharp breath.
"Sick fuck." He spits. "Hey, don't look down at it. Look at me." He holds your shoulder. "Look at me. It's okay, I'm right here. You're not alone now, okay?"
You're not alone.
Aiku is with you right now and that brings you comfort.
"'m scared . . ."
"I know," He says softly. "I know. Everything will be okay, we'll figure out who the guy is."
You've lost any hope of that happening.
"Hey, come on, I'll walk you home, yeah?"
You gulp. "B- But . . . practice . . ."
"It's fine. I can skip this one time. You shouldn't be alone right now."
You only nod at that, grateful to not be on your own. Having Aiku walk next you makes you feel safer than you have in months, but you honestly feel guilty about all this and want to apologize for having go through all this trouble just because you're too scared to do anything on your own.
"How you holdin' up?"
You look down at the ground as you keep walking. "I'm sorry."
"Huh?" Oliver turns to you. "What for?"
"For . . . all this."
Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to be sorry for. "What, for being scared?" Aiku asks. "For needing help? I'd be surprised if you weren't scared. Everyone needs support sometimes, it's nothing to be ashamed of."
You're fighting back tears. "But I . . . I- I shouldn't need to be walked home like this."
Oliver frowns at that. Does that mean you don't want him there? You're really not making this easy for him. "It's okay, I don't mind."
You finally look up and turn to him, eyes glossy with unshed tears. Aiku wonders if you'll let him wipe them from your cheeks if they fall. He would love nothing more than to comfort you like a man and hold you close. He can't even begin to imagine how good it would feel.
When you turn away from him to look ahead again, Oliver carefully takes his phone and does his utmost to make sure you don't spot it.
He sets his caller ID to hidden and types away . . .
You're startled by the feeling of your phone vibrating. You've grown to hate it. Most of the time it signals a text from a hidden number from your nightmares.
You read the text. It sends chills down your spine. Got a boyfriend, huh? Did you forget about me, sweetheart? It says.
You freeze in your tracks and Aiku stops a step later.
"You good?"
No. No you're not.
You simply hold the screen out for him to read. Aiku puts a hand on your shoulder and pulls you closer to him. You look up at his hard face, he's looking all around you. "Damn psycho." He mutters harshly. "Come on, let's hurry."
He doesn't need to tell you twice.
Terrified out of your mind, you reach both hands out and hold his arm for safety. It's not much, but it does make you feel a bit better.
Oliver swears his heart skips a few beats at that. He has to use all his strength to restrain himself. Fuck, you're killing him with how long this is taking.
He stays by your side all the way up to your apartment, and there you find it impossible to let go of his arm. "Will you be okay from now on?"
Of course you won't. You shake your head in reply.
"You know," He feels warm. "I could stay over and make sure nothing happens until tomorrow. And Otoya will go home soon enough, I'll call for him if something does happen."
You really don't want to be alone. "I . . . You don't have to."
Sure, you might be saying that, but your body leans even closer against his and you let out a shaky breath.
"I'm staying." Oliver says. It's not a question. "I can't leave when you're this shaken up."
Maybe Aiku can finally scare the stalker away. "Okay . . ." You truly hope he can because this is getting ridiculous and you're exhausted.
Once he's inside, Oliver wants to yell out in triumph at how easy it was to get you to agree. Only a few more days and he won't have to keep at it. All you need to do is let him all the way in and he can put the whole thing to rest and enjoy you.
Your apartment is cute, just like you are. Oliver could stay here forever, and if his plan succeeds then he might just be able to.
*
Oliver decides not to send anything for now. He hates scaring you so much, and you were pretty shaken up on the walk to your apartment. It wouldn't hurt to prepare in advance, though.
You're currently taking a quick shower.
Aiku steps into your bedroom and takes a deep breath. He's never felt like this before.
He listens carefully to make sure the shower is still on.
Only a few minutes later, you step out of the bathroom with no idea of where Oliver went just minutes prior. He's still on the sofa and watching tv, just as he was when you left to shower.
Strangely enough, you don't feel uncomfortable with him there. Only a few months ago you would have rather drank acid than let him into your home, but now his presence puts you at ease.
He notices you and offers a smile. "Feel any better?"
"Yeah, a bit." You say softly.
Oliver exhales slowly when you turn around to go to the kitchen. You really are the prettiest girl he's ever seen. He can't stop thinking about what you look like under your clothes and how pretty you would luck under him.
You're his beautiful girl. He's counting the seconds to when he can finally say it outloud.
"Do you want anything to eat or drink?" You ask.
"Nah, I'm fine." Oliver shakes his head.
What he wants is you.
Earlier, he decided to give you a few days of peace, but now he wants to send only one text. If you get anxious again then he can be there and hold you and help you calm down.
You drink some water and take a moment to think about everything. You're lucky to have friends who care, even when you insist you're okay on your own. Even Aiku of all people is going out of his way to make sure you're not alone.
It's actually not as awkward as you thought it would be. He doesn't annoy or pester you with endless questions, instead talking to you about other things in an effort to get your mind off things.
It works, for some time.
"Are you sure about staying? I feel like I'm just inconveniencing you."
Once again, Oliver thinks you don't want him there and he feels like he's been punched in the gut. "If it helps you feel any safer, I'm more than happy to." He says. Oliver won't let you push him away now that he's so close to getting what he was.
It's getting late.
You've brought a pillow and covers for him sleep on the sofa, and for the third time today your phone receives a text from a hidden caller ID.
It's a short text that reads, Good night, pretty girl. Sweet dreams.
Oliver frowns next to you when you tense up. "What is it? Show me."
When will it end?
He takes your phone from you and set it down on the table in front of the sofa. "The guy better pray I never find him." He mutters quietly. "Okay, c'mere, I got you." He puts an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close.
You're even more grateful to have him there now. If you were alone you would probably lock yourself in the bathroom and cry your eyes out again. "I can't take it anymore . . ." You whimper into his chest.
Oliver hushes you softly and puts his hand on the back of your head. He leans back against the sofa and pulls you with him, now rubbing your back soothingly. It feels so good to hold you like this, he can't get enough of it.
This feels oddly calming.
Like this, all you hear is the sound of his steady heartbeat. It's soothing, helping you relax with each soft thump.
You finally manage to slow your breathing down and sigh, going limp against him. "Thank you . . ."
Oliver smiles down at you and combs his fingers through your soft hair. "Close your eyes," He says softly. "I got you."
You wake up the next morning and find that you're still in Oliver's arms. He has pulled the covers over you and is awake, running his fingers through your hair.
When he notices that you've woken up, he smiles softly. "Hey there, how do you feel?"
You want to die.
Death would be preferable to being constantly watched by some lunatic out there.
You close your eyes again. "I'm tired." You whisper. Tired of being scared, tired of constantly looking over your shoulder, tired of feeling helpless.
"Sleep well?"
The feeling of him playing with your hair is a nice one. It's weird to see such a soft side of Aiku when you've known him for a while and seen his goofier side with your shared friends. "Yeah," You mumble. "thank you."
Oliver is loving this.
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Strangely enough, the following several days are quiet.
Neither of you actually agreed to it outloud, but Aiku now accompanies you on your walk home from campus everyday and it becomes a routine. If he's busy with practice or has classes after yours have all ended then you wait, and it feels nice to have him walk by your side.
You get suspicious when you don't receive any texts from the stalker, wondering when he'll send you something again and what the text will say. Ever since Oliver stayed over that night it's been radio silence.
Your friends are just as confused by the lack of texts and a few are hopeful that it means the stalker just grew tired of tormenting you, the rest are worried about what he'll send in the future.
"Bitch ass." You mumble to yourself. You hate the guy more than anything and you wish the worst for him.
It's the weekend and you've been studying ever since you came home from school.
Your phone vibrates next to you but it's not from the stalker, it's Oliver calling you.
Never in a million years would you have ever thought that seeing Aiku's contact calling you would make you feel all warm inside.
He's asking how you're doing and if everything's okay.
"Everything's fine," You say. "I try not to think about all that now that it's quiet."
"Fucking finally. Let's just hope nothing happens."
"Yeah." You sigh. "I think I'll go to bed, I'm getting tired. Thank you for being there."
"You don't need to thank me, doll, I'm happy to help." Oliver says. "I didn't want to bother by coming over, but I'm at Sendou's and getting ready to leave. He lives two floors below you."
While he talks, your phone quickly vibrates in your hand and you quickly set it on speaker to check the text you've received. It makes you jump in your seat and quickly turn around to look around in the room.
Oliver hears you shuffling around as you stand up and storm out of your bedroom to turn all the lights in your apartment. He asks if you're okay but you don't hear his voice in this state.
He is there.
He's there, he's in there, he's in your apartment.
He's watching you, you can feel it.
It feels like he'll pop out and grab you any second now.
I can't breathe. Your head feels light, like everything is spinning. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
You drop your phone and try to reach the door instead. You can't stay in there, not when he is in the apartment and watching you.
Suddenly there's loud knocking on your door and you almost scream when the sound startles you.
Is he outside or inside right now? Is he in the apartment or knocking on the door to get in?
Where is he? Where?
You hear your name being called.
The voice is familiar.
It takes you a few seconds to find the strength to stand up and reach the door, your hands shaking as you try to unlock it.
A few seconds pass and you look behind you, vision blurry and cheeks wet with tears.
There's no one behind you.
Where is he?
Finally unlocking the door, you fling it open and find Aiku and Sendou standing outside and looking worried. Oliver reaches out to hold your shoulders but you step forward instead and cling to him as your legs go weak and give out.
"Hey, hey, what happened? What's going on?" Oliver quickly asks. "What's wrong?"
"H- Here . . . Here . . . He- He's here . . ." You can't breathe. You can't breathe.
Oliver hold you close and hushes you by your ear.
You hear Sendou walking down the hall and knock on a door. It opens, Otoya, and Sendou tells him to follow. They enter your apartment while Oliver sits down on the hallway floor with you in his arms. "Easy now, I got you. I got you, you're safe, I'm right here." Oliver says softly.
You sob into his chest, terrified.
"There's no one in there." You hear Sendou's voice. "Here. Look." He shows Oliver the text on your phone that's still unlocked.
You've got a nice apartment. I really like your bedroom. It's cute.
Sendou doesn't know what Oliver has been up to these past few months. No one except for Otoya does.
"Hear that?" Oliver looks down at where you're still sobbing into his chest. "There's no one in there."
That doesn't make you feel any better. You don't want to go back inside your apartment, you don't want to stay and sleep there. You shake your head and whimper, fisting his shirt at the mere thought of going back inside. Oliver hushes you again and puts a hand on the back of your head.
Sendou says, "I don't think it's a good idea for her to stay here right now." Oliver knows that Sendou genuinely worried about you, but he has no idea just how long Aiku has waited for this.
"How about staying at my place tonight?" Oliver ask in a gentle voice. "How's that sound?"
You only nod in response.
*
It still feels like you're being watched, you can't shake the feeling. It has you holding Oliver's hand while you walk and clinging to him desperately for safety. You're outside his apartment and feel the need to look behind you to check the hallway while he unlocks the door. "It's okay, I won't let anything happen to you." He squeezes your hand and leads you in. He closes the door and immediately turns to you, pulling you in for a hug. "You're safe here. Nothing will happen to you."
You haven't said a word since leaving your building.
"Come on, doll, let's get you to bed." He pulls back and cups your flushed cheeks where fresh tears have started running, brushing his thumbs over your cheeks gently to wipe them.
Being able to finally call you his is just within arm's reach.
"Oliver . . ."
Fuck, you're killing him.
He leans his forehead against yours, still caressing your cheeks. "I'm right here." Oliver whispers. He pulls you into another hug and waits for you to lean further against him. You even put your arms around his neck which is more than he could have asked for in the moment. "C'mere," He doesn't waste any time, moving an arm down to pick you up and hold you close. "I got you."
You keep your arms around him and your face hidden in the crook of his neck as he carries you through his apartment, only looking up when you feel something soft beneath you.
It's his bed, but you don't want to be alone right now.
Just as Oliver goes to lean back from you, you tighten your arms around him, whimpering out a desperate, "Please don't leave me."
Shit, shit, shit. Oliver is sure he's going to die now.
"You sure?" He asks, voice low.
"Please . . ." You whisper.
Oh, this is fucking perfect. This is much better than Aiku expected.
Oliver lets you lie down on his bed, and he doesn't know how to handle the view of you down there, then gets down next to you. He lets you rest your head on his arm, putting the other around your smaller frame and pulling you into his chest where you instantly close your eyes and sigh in relief. "Try to get some sleep now. You're safe here." He whispers.
"Thank you, Oliver."
He's so close to finally getting what he wants in life. What he needs.
You're my beautiful girl, Oliver thinks and smiles down at you. You look so pretty like this, eyes closed and features soft and relaxed. Aiku has finally managed to turn himself into your safe space.
"Oliver . . ."
He moves his hand up to brush away the hair that covers your beautiful face. "Yeah?"
You open your eyes to look at his, dual coloured and mesmerizing. "I'm . . . I'm so scared these days."
For a moment, Oliver feels conflicted. He just wanted this, to be the one you will always seek out and rely on, but he also wonders if he's taken things too far. Seeing your pretty eyes all teary like this is breaking his heart, but he's more than happy to help you heal from this and build you back up again.
Oliver has all the time in the world now. You trust him, he knows that, and he'll never let you leave his side. "I'm sorry this is happening," He caresses your cheek, touch soft. "I'll help in any way I can."
Please, please just let him do this.
Aiku needs only you in life, why does he have to do so much to get what he wants?
Please don't push him away.
Oliver leans closer to you, eyes still locked with yours. It's a wordless plea. He's asking you if it's okay.
Please don't say no.
If you push him away now he won't know how to handle it. He doesn't want to keep scaring you.
"Oliver . . ."
He's so close.
When you don't push him away, Oliver closes the space between you and finally presses his lips to yours.
Maybe he should've waited a bit longer and given you some more time to calm down, but he can't take it anymore.
He needs you.
Oliver doesn't push for more. He breaks the kiss after only a few seconds, but it's enough for now. "That okay?" He whispers, heart pounding against his chest.
You gulp, feeling dazed. "'s okay."
Perfect.
*
You wake up the next morning with Oliver's arms wrapped around you. This is the third time it has happened, and by now you've grown to enjoy the feeling.
He's still asleep.
You can't help it, but you end up laying there and just watching him.
Oliver is a handsome guy, yes, but you've never looked at him like that before. You don't know when that changed during the chaos of the past few weeks, but it's not the worst thing ever.
You reach out absentmindedly and brush his bangs from his eyes. His hair is softer than you imagined, you want to run your fingers through it forever.
He stirs a bit and takes a deep breath as he wakes up, eyes fluttering open and softening as soon as they meet yours.
"Morning." You say softly, hand on his cheek.
He smiles tiredly and closes his eyes again. "Morning, doll." Oliver puts his hand over yours and traces small circles on the back of your hand. "Sleep well?"
"Yeah." Much better than you have in months.
Oliver loves that he's the reason why you feel safe enough to have a good night's sleep now. "Stay here for a few days," He opens his eyes. "I don't want you to feel like that again."
"You sure?"
"Mhm." How could he ever want anything else? "How would you feel about it?"
"I don't want to be a burden."
"You could never be." Oliver is confused by that. How could you ever think that you would be a burden to him? He leans closer to you, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. "Stay here until you feel better."
Staying with Oliver? You wouldn't exactly hate that.
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Oliver has never felt happier.
You've been staying with him for a few days now, showing no signs of wanting to leave. He knows it's because he makes you feel safe, something no one else manages to do.
He does his best to make you feel comfortable in his apartment, never pushing things too far and being careful not to say the wrong thing. The last thing Aiku wants is to scare you away.
You can't leave him.
You cannot.
Oliver wouldn't know what to do without you now that he's gotten a taste of life with you by his side. He would never forgive himself if he ruined this.
"You okay?" Your soft voice pulls him from his thoughts. "You look stressed out."
That's right. He stresses himself out every time he thinks about losing you, but he will not lose you so he should stop tormenting himself. "Just a bit tired." Oliver says. He's sitting on the couch and you're standing right next to him.
Oliver wants to hold you.
He takes your hand and pulls gently, bringing you down to hin. Aiku puts his hands on your waist, like he's been doing every now and then these past few days, and leans forward to nuzzle into your shoulder.
He always feels overjoyed when you let him do this. The first time he did he was scared you would push him away.
Oliver swears he's in heaven when he feels your fingers comb through his hair.
"Thank you for letting me stay." You thank him once again.
Oliver hums softly against your shoulder then turns towards you to place a kiss on the side of your neck.
He wants you so fucking badly.
"No need to thank me." He wraps his arms around your waist. "I'm just happy you're feeling better."
Oliver doesn't need to send you any more texts as long as you're with him. Everything is perfect this way and will stay as such so long as you don't leave.
He needs to make sure you'll stay.
Oliver waits until you decide to go to sleep. You did feel bad after your first night at his place, but all he needed to do was wait for you to start overthinking again and then he could hold you in his arms all night long.
Maybe he can finally try to take it a step further.
He'll never get tired of seeing you in his bed.
Oliver loves holding you like this more than anything. Your body fits in his arms perfectly because you were made for him and him alone. My beautiful girl. Oliver caresses your cheek.
He can't get enough of you.
When he first started doing this a few days you would blush and avoid his gaze. Now, it makes you smile up at him with those gorgeous eyes of yours.
"It feels like all I'm doing these days is just thank you over and over." You say. "I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there."
Oh, if only you knew just why he was always there every time you needed someone.
Oliver feels bolder than he did days ago now. He leans down and slots his lips against yours, and it's the best thing he has ever felt.
He's careful to not push for too much and make you uncomfortable, but fuck, it's hard to restrain himself.
Oliver hopes you won't say no next.
He pushes gently on your shoulder to get you to move onto your back, and when you comply he moves on top of you. You don't seem uncomfortable or even shocked, thank fuck for that, and it spurs Aiku on.
He breaks the kiss and pulls back to look down at your flushed face. You look so pretty like this, Oliver has never felt like this before.
No one can compare to you. He regrets wasting his time on other girls when he could've focused all his attention on you instead.
"'s this okay?" He whispers.
You feel hot. Oliver makes you feel things you've never experienced. "Uh huh . . ."
He's so close to getting what he's waited for since the day he met you.
Oliver kisses you again and you welcome it eagerly, pulling him closer by putting your arms around his neck.
You're so perfect.
You're perfect.
Oliver needs you more than he needs air. He can't live without you, he loves you so much
Oliver loves you. He loves you. He loves you.
*
Oliver wakes up to the sound of his phone vibrating softly on the nightstand. He sighs, annoyed, reaching out to pick it up.
Otoya.
Oliver gets out of bed carefully, making sure you won't wake up as he leaves and goes to open the front door where Otoya is waiting outside and smirks in amusement when he sees Oliver. "Mission accomplished?"
"Almost." Oliver yawns. "What's up?"
Otoya holds up the phone Oliver bought to text you with most of the time a few months back. "I keep forgetting to give this back at campus but I was close by and remembered it a few minutes ago."
Oliver takes the phone. "Thanks, bro."
"Well you seem happy." Otoya notes. "Score yet?"
"No, she's more than that." Oliver would never see you as just another girl to sleep with. You're his precious love and he'll never let you go. He doesn't need anyone else, only you.
Aiku doesn't know that his special girl woke up from him getting out of bed.
You're confused by what the boys are talking about, standing by the bedroom door and listening.
"Well, be careful with that thing." Otoya nods down at the phone. "I don't want to see the hell everyone will raise if they find out her creepy stalker is actually her precious Oliveeer." Otoya puts on a sweet, girly voice and makes a cute face.
Otoya's words hit you like a punch in the gut.
Oliver slaps the side of Otoya's head playfully and says, "Shut up, that won't happen."
"Here's to hoping." Otoya fistbumps him. "Later." He turns around and waves as he walks away.
Your mind goes blank.
Oliver?
What?
Otoya's words echo in your mind, "I don't want to see the hell everyone will raise if they find out her creepy stalker is actually her precious Oliveeer."
Your legs go weak.
". . . her creepy stalker is actually her precious Oliveeer."
You slide down to the floor.
The front door closes.
You gasp, eyes going wide.
Footsteps . . .
Oliver is coming back to the bedroom. His bedroom. The room you've been sleeping in for days. The bed you've laid with him in. The bed he's held you in every night.
". . . her creepy stalker is actually her precious Oliveeer."
It has to be a joke right?
Right?!
"Oh?"
Oliver's voice makes your blood freeze.
"Hey, what are you doing on the floor?"
You look up at him, eyes wide. Otoya's words fill your mind again, ". . . her creepy stalker is actually her precious Oliveeer."
"What are . . . you . . ." Oliver realizes.
You heard.
You stare up at him in terror.
It's him.
What kind of a cruel, sadistic joke is this?
It all suddenly makes sense, how could you be so stupid? Every time something happened either Oliver or Otoya would be there. Otoya was in on it, too.
The texts, the pictures, the knocking . . . all those times you felt like you were being watched . . .
Just as Oliver moves, about to walk up to you, you shake your head. "Please don't hurt me."
"No, no, no, I would never hurt you." Oliver kneels down in front of you but you back into the wall. "I'd never hurt you, doll."
The room suddenly feels too small.
You can't stay in there, the room where you've been sleeping in Oliver's arms on his bed when he's been playing you like a damn fiddle all along.
You push yourself off the floor and try to leave the room but he stops you by grabbing your arms. "No! Let go!"
Oliver can't let you leave. You'll never come back if you run away now. "Please just listen to me for a minute," He pleads. "let me explain-"
"No!" You cry. "No, no!"
Oliver lets go of your arms to hold your face in his large hands instead. "Please, doll, listen to me." He forces you back against the wall and cages you in, wide frame preventing you from running away. You can't leave, you can't.
If he could torment you over the course of months so easily, what else is he capable of? The thought terrifies you and you can't stop the tears from running. "I trusted you . . ."
Oliver's heart breaks at the sight of your tears. Maybe he did take some things too far, but it's okay. All he needs to do is show how much he loves you. "You can still trust me, baby girl, I'd never hurt you, you know that."
"Oliver, please . . ." You whimper. "I'm scared . . ."
Scared of what? Of him? "You don't need to be scared, doll." Oliver says softly. He wipes the tears from your cheeks. "Please don't cry."
"O- Oliver . . ."
He's the one who turned you into a shell of your former self who spends every moment terrified for your safety.
Why would he do this?
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Oliver whispers over and over again. "I'm sorry for scaring you, doll, I'll never do anything to hurt you again." He promised. "You're the most important person in my life, I can't live without you."
How can you trust him after learning all this?
"Please don't hate me." Oliver begs desperately. He is beyond terrified now. He can't let you leave, it would kill him. "Please don't hate me, I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you."
If he loves you so much . . . why would he put you through all this? "Y- You . . ."
"I love you." Oliver breathes. He prays you won't push him away, then leans down to kiss you desperately. "I love you," He whispers against your lips. "I love you and only you, I love you so much."
If you were in your right mind right now you would condemn him for him actions and demand answers, but you're not. You look up at Oliver, in a daze from the kiss. "Y'love . . ."
"I love you." Oliver kisses you again. "You know that I do, don't you? You know how much I love you, doll, yeah?"
You see nothing but panic and desperation in his mismatched eyes, the same ones that have only looked at you with pure adoration for weeks now. "Y- You love m- me . . ." You murmur.
"Yeah, that's right. That's right, I love you. You're the only one I've ever loved." Oliver captures your lips in a heated kiss.
There is still a tiny voice inside you that is telling you to get a grip, yelling at you to push him away. Aiku is the one who put you through so much shit that you nearly lost your sanity, the one who scared you so much you broke down.
Oliver kisses you like his life depends on it. He needs too show you just how much he loves you, he needs you to know.
"Oli- Oliver-"
He's scared that you will tell him to let you go and he can't take it. Oliver will never let you leave, not when you're finally his.
You're still crying and he hates himself for being the cause of your tears. Oliver brushes the fresh tears from your cheeks and whispers against your lips, "You'll let me love you, won't you, doll? You'll let me show you how much you mean to me, right?" He moves his hands down your body.
He loves you . . . Oliver loves you, you can see it in his eyes.
"You'll let me, won't you, baby?"
A small nod is all you manage to give as a reply.
You gasp when you feel his warm hands on your skin. He pushes your tank top up to finally feel your soft skin. Oliver has waited for this for so long, he'll be damned if it ends before it even begins. "Let me show you."
"Oliver . . ."
He steps back from the wall and pulls you with him, guiding you to the bed and pushing you down. You're overwhelmed and want to tell Oliver to wait, but he doesn't let you say anything and kisses you again.
You push on his shoulders lightly. "W- Wait . . ."
"What's wrong, doll?" Oliver coos down at you, cupping your cheek. "Just let me take care of you, I'll make you feel better."
He leans back enough to sit on his knees for a second, pulling his t shirt off and throwing it away. The sight makes you feel hot and he can see the effect it has on you. It swells Oliver's ego to know you like what you see, even if you don't say it outloud.
There's a part of you that wants to push him away but . . .
Oliver can see the doubt in your eyes.
He leans back down and brushes his lips against yours. "You want me to make you feel good, don't you?" Aiku pushes your top up. It tingles where his skin meets yours and you exhale shakily. "I'll make it all better, doll. That's what you want, ain't it?"
You gulp, and you nod.
"Yeah?" Oliver smiles and presses a quick peck to your now swollen lips. "Want me to make it better?"
"Uh huh . . ."
He has you now.
Oliver has you and he will never let you go.
*
Everything feels so hot . . .
You can't breathe.
You can't think.
All you feel is Oliver Aiku.
Your discovery is long forgotten. He's doing everything he can to make sure that you will never care about it again, and it's working. Every time he feels you tensing up or sees the doubt in your pretty eyes he does something new to get your mind off it.
You're on your side with his toned chest pressed against your back as he litters your nape and shoulder with kiss, one arm under you and holding you tight while his free hand roams every inch of your burning skin.
Oliver moves his hand down between your thighs that are pressed together. "O- Oli . . ."
He can't get enough of you. He's never felt so good in his life. "All f'me," Oliver whispers by your ear. "I want you so fuck'n bad, doll."
Oliver is skilled and experienced, you know that, and you should have enough common sense to not let that bother you but it does. It means he's been with plenty of other girls before you and you hate that.
He shifts his arm under you to move his hand up to hold your face, forcing you to turn your head and look back at him. "C'mere, doll." He kisses you hungrily. Oliver actually moans when he feels how wet you are.
All for him.
"Feels so good to hold you like this." Aiku pants. "You're so good for me. My good girl."
Oliver's gaze moves down to the marks on your shoulder. There aren't enough of them. You're not covered enough. He needs to leave enough marks for the whole world to know that you belong to him.
He grabs a handful of your plush thigh. "Spread 'em."
"Oliver . . ."
"You said you'd let me, remember?" He says softly. "Remember, baby? You said you'd let me love you."
That's right . . . you did.
"Here, we'll take it slow." He's okay with waiting a few more minutes if it means he can make you more needy in the process and eventually have you beg for it. "See? Just like this."
Oliver urges you to press your thighs together again. He's sure that being buried deep inside you would feel a lot better, but he doesn't mind fucking your pretty thighs for a while. They’re so soft and feel so good around his cock, everything about you feels like paradise.
You keep rubbing your thighs together to relieve some of the tension in your body. He's only making it worse by rubbing against you like this, you're desperate for release. "Oliver . . . please . . ."
Every time he moves forward he nudges your sensitive clit and it has your thighs shaking.
You spread your legs and Oliver is quick to take advantage of it. "This is okay, right?" He pants, struggling to restrain himself.
Even now, there's still that tiny voice inside that begs you to stop.
Oliver kisses your shoulder. "I can do it, right?"
You . . .
He needs to make you his.
You're scared.
Oliver feels it in the way you tense you slightly, but he's so close, it's practically almost done. "Hey, doll, how do you feel?" He kisses your shoulder again and stops for a moment. "It's okay, right?"
It's Oliver . . . Oliver loves you, you know that now . . .
You don't say anything. Instead, you reach your hand back to the back of his head and turn to kiss him again.
Oliver will take this as a yes.
You tense up and gasp when he pushes in. He's a lot bigger than you expected.
Oliver swears he's dying, he can't handle it now that it's finally happening. You're so warm and so tight, it feels so good.
"Y'feel so fuck'n good, doll." Oliver whispers against your lips. "So good for me, my good girl."
You can't think of anything other than the feeling of Oliver's cock deep inside you, filling you perfectly.
He moves at a slow pace, whispering sweet nothings and praising you for being so good for him. You're his perfect girl, so sweet and so beautiful and all his.
Oliver knows he has you now.
"How's it feel, doll? Feel good?"
You feel hot. "Oli . . ."
"Deep breaths for me, baby, easy now." He murmurs softly, hitting that perfect spot inside you.
"F- Feels good . . ."
Yes.
Oliver has never been happier. He finally has you and it was worth the wait.
You cry out his name and it makes Oliver's heart flutter and he practically melts against you. You're the only girl who can do this to him. Everything about you is addicting, he could never get enough of you. Now that Oliver finally gets to bury himself inside you he never wants to pull out. He wishes that he can stay like this forever.
Aiku moans against your nape at the feeling of your tight cunt squeezing him, as if you never him to leave.
Shit, it feels so good, he won't last.
He whispers you name breathlessly and moves at an even slower pace in favour of giving harder thrusts.
Your sweet voice bounces off the walls and in the room, the sweetest sound Aiku has ever heard.
"G'na cum f'me, yeah?" Oliver pants, so close. "Come on, doll, cum for me. Give me everything."
You belong to him, just as he belongs to you.
You're his and he is yours.
Oliver loves you so fucking much, he can hardly handle it. He needs you to live.
"I love you."
19 notes · View notes
chicomecoatl · 2 years
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Genuinely forreal thought I imagined the Hank the Cowdog book series I have never ever met another single person who has ever read these fucking books
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vagabondjourney · 2 months
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I HAD TO FIND THIS OUT BY MYSELF AND NOBODY TOLD ME THIS WAS IN THE BOOKS ???????? THIS GAY ASS SCENE ????????
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n0heart · 2 months
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.
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shima-draws · 6 months
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I just finished Skypeia AGHHHFJHHHH it was so GOOD
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kaleidoskuls · 11 months
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“more than anything i was relieved that in my unfamiliar babbling and wanting to talk state id stopped myself from blurting the thing on the edge of my tongue, the thing is never said, even though it was something we both knew well enough without me saying it out loud to him in the street ��� which was, of course, i love you.” btw. if you even care .
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phoenix-flamed · 5 months
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Me, fondly remembering my playthroughs of FFVII, VIII, IX, X, X-2, and XII: I don't need more blogs I don't need more blogs I don't need more blogs I do --
Though if I did RP as anyone, it'd hands-down be Beatrix from IX.
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imwritesometimes · 4 months
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not to be dramatic but getting myself a wax warmer was one of the best things I've done for myself in terms of 'little things to make myself happy' I am terrified of open flame in the house due to past life events but really love scent as something that can soothe and calm and idk I just love that I can fill my house with scents I like and that are soothing but there's no fire and I am focusing on more like this for 2024. Welcoming little simple things into my life that I may have said 'no, that's frivolous' to before.
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crow-caller · 1 year
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Reaper’s Creek is a requirment if you’re someone who likes bad books and is online. I usually keep to my obscure weird books, but I was very intrigued by the odd mystery of this very bad book. Onision is... bad (hot take), but when I read it I was very surprised I had a different take than I’d seen from other reviewers.
You see, Reaper’s Creek... um............ I think it’s more than just a youtuber imagining godlike powers and altering reality so he can kill god. I mean it is, man, it super is, but I think we might need to give Onision more credit. Ugh, sorry I typed that. But what if I told you the bizarre choices and immature view of the world in this book might not be because the author is weird, and might be because our lead is an 11 year old kid from an abusive home blindly given unlimited power? Yeah, the more I talk about it with commenters, the more I think we’ve all been wrong about Reaper’s Creek.
....or not, because well, it sucks ass. If the text is meant to be a slight horror, a story of a child unable to grow and given the gift to live out his every whim, it still is an utter failure. After all, if every person who reads the text misinterprets it as just a cringy self insert power trip, you have failed as an author. Also it’s just super poorly written in general, but I’m just talking narrative here
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cinnabeat · 4 months
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i fucking love isekai stories but unfortunately i have severe case of second hand embarrassment and also anxiety so im always constantly on edge like oh my god stop acting so weird theyre GONNA KNOW
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camelspit · 8 months
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actively having my heart torn out rn holy shit
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pepprs · 1 year
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lmaooooo i think i need to quit teaching forever and also bury myself in a hole. lol
#purrs#grading papers on a sunday and the WAYYYYY this one students paper just hurt my feelings so fucking bad. i mean it’s not just hers but like.#god. it’s the most childish thing in the world (which makes sense / is the literal problem. that i am a child.) but im coteaching this class#(WHICH I TOOK and my co-instructors were MY instructors and now im replacing one of them who’s also the one who left in july lol 😍😍😍😍😍😍) and#ive had WICKED impostor syndrome bc… not to air it all out but im airing it all out bc im so mad lol. they’re both older men with phds and w#wives and families and im a 24 year old in the first year of her career with a bachelors degree who stilllives at home w her parents and#also the two of them and the third instructor literaly developed this class together and again i TOOK IT as a student in their class 2 years#ago. so again… WICKED impostor syndrome. and the class is all abt figuring out how to thrive in different contexts that are constrained by s#social norms so it’s relevant to talk abt impostor syndrome and i have talked about it. and also i get substantial parts to lead in the#classes and whatever and take attendance and grade papers and send out emails to the whole class etc etc. so WHY are the other two#instructors getting shoutouts in the papers and i am getting… NOTHING!!!! naught a SINGLE mention. when i am literally fucking LIVING#THROUGH the things we’re taking abt in class abt the first year of ur career and impostor syndrome and shit……. oh iknow why! because they#don’t actually see me as an instructor because im short and a nothing girl and an IMPOSTOR!!!!! LOLLLLL 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 and the book chapter was the#same too lol like im the only co-author who doesn’t actually get individually named as making a contribution in the text of it and nobody#noticed but me because it’s a stupid thing to notice but i still noticed. awesome. i love being invisible and not actually mattering ♥️ <#<- has the mental illness that makes you utterly unable to see evidence of how you actually do matter and only hyperfocus on the evidence th#that you don’t <- but also is trapped in the psychijc prison of some parts of her environment telling her she does matter and other parts t#telling her she doesn’t so can you blame her for going CRAZY!!!!!!!!! like is this literally not the normal well adjusted reaction to have#to GENUINELY LEGITIMATELY JUSTIFIABLY upsetting thigns. when the circumstances are fucked up and deleterious 😍😍😍😍😍😍#delete later#oh also im apparently not even an official instructor in Da System (which is a problem and it is not supposed to be that way) so i won’t#even get to read abt how the students fucking forgot about me and think im a nothing girl because they won’t even have a chance to give me#that feedback!!! lol. i think * and * should just do everything together because they are both qualified to do it. and i should spin off#into the abyss and quit my job and never be heard from again. that’s how this shit makes me feel. like ik it’s just a couple of students and#their opinions literally don’t matter but im like hm how about i go fuck off then since clearly i don’t make a difference to you. lole <3#* i won’t get that feedback etc etc bc i am not going to get course evals because im not in Da System. lol ♥️
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depresseddepot · 2 years
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the way i try so SO hard to gain even a crumb of body neutrality only to then see some shit on twitter that remind me that oh yeah. a distinct portion of the population genuinely believes they are being discriminated against when they have to look at or be within 50 feet of a fat person
#the amount of times ive heard my skinny friends call themselves fat and disgusting to my face without considering the implications#i saw some tweet that just like. had a fat person in the video and ALL of the responses were men making fun of her#like. yes i realize my life would be so much better if i was born with a faster metabolism. thank you for reminding me#yes i realize i am not treated seriously because i am fat#that sort of incredulous look skinny people give you when you have the audacity to sit near them on the bus or ask for directions#like they're shocked you weren't some round thing that was in their sights for 2 seconds to make fun but disappeared#i am trying very hard not to let it get to me but when so many people seem to think the same thing it feels stupid#likei know i dont see people the way allosexuals do but are fat people really so disgusting that they feel like they can say shit like that#its so so frustrating#if i am going to die alone because of my own failings i can learn to accept that#but if i die alone because i can't find anybody that doesn't think fat people are worthless then what is the fucking point lmao#''people irl dont actually think that'' i cant count on 1 hand the amount of skinny people who have lamented about their weight to my face#someone brings in cookies to work and as im eating one someone skinny says ''well. i really don't need the extra calories so ill pass''#someone skinny checking out diet/exercise books because they ''REALLY have to lose some weight''#no they aren't talking about me/to me but how detached from your surroundings do you have to be to shit on yourself for your weight#like. even if i was skinny they're still talking about how gross and ugly they are around kids#''love your body and your self!!!1!!1'' okay then stop calling yourself disgusting regardless of how much you weigh.#you can think if if you want but god that 12 year old girl in line behind you is going to remember that forever#she is going to internalize ''oh okay. thats what a disgusting body looks like''#andthen she'll grow up and hate herself and continue the fucking cycle#just stop. stop talking about your weight around kids. i dont need 60 yo women telling me they're gross when they weigh maybe 150 lbs#i know this is super unhealthy but i literally cannot wait until i can move out and isolate myself from society#because every second i try to engage with it is literal torture#yall are so mean for no reason#i dont really have much to live for#but it would be helpful if skinny people didn't constantly reiterate that there's no point to living if you aren't skinny#im so tired#vent
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tvheadfalls · 1 year
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just watched the owl house finale. <- is handling it
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lanfastonewin · 1 year
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​fun fact the fastest i’ve ever properly burst into sobbing tears is when arsene announced he was leaving arsenal
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