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#oh man I’m tired
whistwhistler · 1 year
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some thoughts on jane tennant & kate whistler and the awful takes i’ve seen on their characters so far...
I think there’s a particularly harmful narrative out there that has been started that Jane “uses & abuses” the people around her (namely, Whistler) when she needs something or when she’s in trouble and I just think that’s incredibly antithetical to who she’s been designed and created to be as a character. Do you really think the writers would a) do that to Vanessa (or Tori), b) be so careless in handling an incredibly complex, woman of colour (and in senior leadership, no less) who has been involved in the espionage game and all the toxicity surrounding espionage, war, intelligence and politics in this current political climate and c) write female friendships/working relationships to be so toxic in an age where females doing literally anything on tv are scrutinized for no good reason? Do you think that maybe, just maybe, it was intentional from the start to highlight how at the core of Jane’s being, that she’s not an inhuman byproduct of what the CIA creates its operatives to be?
NCIS: Hawaii, so far, has been deeply intentional in the way the seasonal story arcs/thematic arcs are crafted. Everything about each season has led up to what happens in its finales. The first and second season has established and zeroed in on the theme of family/found family/etc., and that’s not something that’s just thrown in there because it sounds pretty or cute. The theme of family is constantly reinforced because it’s the backbone that drives this series. Ohana. It’s what sets the Hawaii office apart from the other shows. It’s not as dark, gritty, violent, or depressing, and that actually works to its advantage. Family drives every aspect of this show and its characters. And you know what else? Family is messy. And while I still have my own grievances on how they’ve focused so heavily on Jane (again, for obvious reasons), her family/kids, and her past and not so much the other characters (yet), I also believe it’s worked to their advantage. I haven’t seen a show do flashbacks and retrospective character study on its characters, and do it well, in a while especially for a “police procedural.” For us to even have flashbacks and character-centric episodes is a gift for a procedural, and we have to remember that. We’ve seen bits and pieces of Jane’s past, and now we see how it all plays into this storyline of how her past is coming back to haunt her. Jane is a woman who fiercely loves and cares deeply for those who are close to her heart, but even to those who cannot fight for themselves, or are in deep trouble. That was made so beautifully highlighted in 2x18. That’s what makes her an incredible boss, an incredible leader, and most importantly, a wonderful friend. Has your boss ever invited you to their office for a drink? Let alone to their own home with an open door policy? Has your boss risked their life to rescue not just themselves but others who are wounded and are in desperate need of medical attention, all the meanwhile being badly injured themselves? Jane’s life revolves around family and caring for others because it’s something she was deprived of as a child. Her mother was not around. She did not have siblings. She had a loving father, but with him being in the military, she would have had to move from base to base. Her childhood would not have been steady. Friends would have come and gone. Her entire life was on the go. She’s had to fend for herself growing up. She’s had to stand up for herself. Jane Tennant is a woman who is deeply informed and shaped by her experience and leverages that to be the person she needed as a child to those around her. It’s what has made her an extraordinary SAC. But Jane also isn’t perfect. She has flaws, and they’re making themselves known in this finale.
So now, despite Jane being the Special Agent in Charge of the Entire Pacific Rim™, she also has a past. We can’t ignore that. Jane Tennant has a past. And it’s a CIA past. And from the sound of it, it’s a past she’s not particularly proud or fond of. We can see that Jane’s CIA past has deeply affected her, as it should. You’ve all seen (in some shape or form, fictional or non fictional) the extent of what the CIA is, what it represents, the shadiness and the dark side of how it operates, and what its people are capable of. We know the toxic culture of secrets, lies, deadly surprises and betrayal that can follow with being involved with the CIA. Jane has been involved with all of that. And she is still, unfortunately, involved with that despite having switched agencies and careers. She no longer is a covert CIA operative, she is the SAC of the NCIS Hawaii office. But that doesn’t mean she won’t slip back into covert CIA operative mode the moment she finds out she’s in danger. Like everyone else, Jane has a fight or flight response... She just happens to do both. So what does this mean?
Well, if Jane is in danger and it involves her extremely dangerous, shady CIA past, everyone in her life will inadvertently be in danger as well. Why else would Ernie call Jane out that she was being shady? She doesn’t really have a choice. She’s played the intelligence game long enough to know that secrets, information, and data can get people killed. The people she’s dealt with are extremely dangerous, and if they get the slightest idea of who is important to Jane, they will stop at nothing to eliminate those around her to hurt her. To torture her. Can you imagine the weight of that? Knowing that your past has put your kids at risk for being targets? Your closest friends, your colleagues - your family? Hell, I’d be shady too. Jane is incredibly smart. She knows the loopholes, she knows what angles to play. She knows the risks she has to take. She has been through it and knows exactly how to manipulate and play the system. That’s what makes her such a polar opposite to the character Kate Whistler is. 
Okay, enter Kate. Because I know what you’re all thinking. What was the point of reinforcing the family theme with Kate with the amount of Jane/Kate interactions we’ve had all season only for Jane to use her to get into the bank in Venezuela and then handcuff her to a column in a kitchen, basically leaving her to dry? What was the point of all of this if Jane going rogue anyway is going to put everyone in danger? Wouldn’t Kate be pissed as hell for Jane getting her into this mess, risking her career, putting her in danger, etc etc etc? Well, I’m glad you didn’t ask, because I’m still going to tell you anyway. 
Short answer, Kate didn’t see it like that. Long answer, Kate Whistler isn’t a chump and is a foil to Jane Tennant’s character. Aka, Whistler is everything that Jane is not, and yet, is everything that Jane needs. I’m not saying Whistler is an antagonist (maybe it seemed like she was in the first season, but we’ve seen how she’s grown since then - keep this thought tucked away in the back of your minds for later). But why else would they have introduced Whistler the way they did in the pilot, if they weren’t going to use her to balance Jane out? And vice versa? Why else have they spent so much time developing Whistler’s character, despite her being an agency-adjacent character (AKA, a non-NCIS character on an NCIS show)? Why have they spent so much time writing scenes and moments between the two women and developing that friendship? One, it’s because they’re establishing Whistler to be just as an important part of the NCIS team despite her being interagency, and two, it’s because Jane and Kate both need each other. And most importantly, they trust each other. Keep this thought pinned. Trust. Whistler looks up to Jane, despite her sticky way of operating. And Jane looks up to Whistler because of how brilliant she is. How unlike Whistler is to herself. Jane recognizes that Whistler is someone she needs in her corner; not because she has malicious intents of using Whistler for what she can do, who/what she knows, and what she’s capable of, but because Whistler is just wired differently, and she needs that - dare I say, craves that. Jane has spent so much of her life depending on and trusting people like Maggie who are like her, only for people like Maggie to betray her in the end. She knows that Whistler will never do that, because she knows what Whistler is driven by (protecting the intel/secrets/data to the highest degree, etc.) Whistler knows, understands, and can play the intelligence game just as well as Jane can, and Jane sees how much of a breath of fresh air she is. And for Whistler, despite Jane’s way of not doing things by the book, it’s yielded results. Jane’s methods have worked, and that’s what Whistler has seen and understands of Jane and who she is as a leader. She sees and appreciates Jane’s ideology as a leader, reminding her of the kind of person, perhaps one day, the leader (ASAC, SAC) she wants to become.
And that’s why she’d listen to Jane in going to Venezuela.
Okay, let’s back it up a bit. Jane’s methods have worked.
... But they don’t always do.
Alas, the moment you’ve all been waiting for - Jane’s habits of slipping back into a covert, secretive, protective and shady operative, is not working. Jane going rogue is not working.
And yes, it puts others in danger. It puts herself in an immense amount of danger. 
Okay, so that part was obvious, so what am I getting at? Once again, I’m glad you didn’t ask (because I did, for you), so here we go.
As we can see in next week’s promo, Jane is kidnapped, and is being tortured by Adrian Creel, a dangerous person from her past. Not only that, but is someone who she thought was dead. Both her past and present worlds are colliding, and she’s now scrambling to do damage control. So she goes rogue. We have to remember that Jane is highly intelligent, calculated, and cunning. That combination of words is absolutely fucking terrifying if used for harm instead of good. But that’s not who Jane is. And we saw that in a flashback.
This is what sets Jane apart from the person that Maggie Shaw is. Maggie is a textbook CIA operative. She has little regard for those who cross her and will do whatever it takes to get a job done. Spies are trained to not get attached to others. To push aside their emotions and feelings. And despite Maggie having a soft spot for Jane and becoming a mentor/mother figure to her (which makes her betrayal so deeply wounding to Jane not having a mother of her own in the picture), Maggie and Jane are fundamentally different people. One sees people as assets, assignments, collateral, or worse - collateral damage. The other sees people as human beings. One is completely unaffected by betrayal. The other is deeply affected. One is unfazed by death. The other is. You catching my drift?
Jane’s CIA experience has shown her how terrible the world of espionage can be. How messy, interwoven, terrible, and haunting it can be. Right now, it’s haunting her, and coming back to bite her in the ass. So what do you do when your past is coming back for you in the present? You pull every stop necessary to protect those you care about the most. To protect your family, the people you’d easily lay your life down for. Jane is not the kind of person that would intentionally get others she cares about into messes, nor is she the kind of person that gets people into messes that she herself wouldn’t be able to pull them out from. These are calculated risks Jane is taking. It’s not that she doesn’t know or think that her actions won’t cause problems for herself or others later on, she absolutely knows and understands the weight of every outcome and every choice she has to make. She wouldn’t put her team or colleagues in more danger than they need to be. Please understand this language. She can’t protect them from everything that could possibly happen, but if she has the smallest chance of controlling what she can control, then she’ll put herself on the line first. So she’ll make the choices that have the least collateral damage. She voluntarily pulls herself off the case from NCIS to protect her team. She would rather risk herself getting fired or killed before there’s a slightest chance of danger coming towards her team. She reaches out to Whistler, not because she doesn’t care about Whistler as much as she does with her own team or doesn’t care about her enough to not put her in harm’s way, but because Whistler is the only person she can trust right now (and that’s a massive thing for Jane after being betrayed by the one person she thought she’d never, ever get betrayed by). Jane knows that Whistler is absolutely vital in ensuring that whoever is after her, will never be able to reach Whistler, her team, or her kids. Her team can’t do that (lead her to Venezuela) for her. In a weird way, Jane knows that she cannot do parts of her mission alone, but she also recognizes that she cares too much about Whistler to fully let her accompany her in a mission that she knows that she may not come back from alive. This is the grey area of the espionage game that Jane is playing. Jane going rogue and the espionage world is not black and white. Things just aren’t that easy. And it’s baffling that so many people think “well if Jane would have just been honest and let her team help her they wouldn’t be in danger.” It literally doesn’t work like that. Why else would they continue to highlight the stickiness of Jane’s CIA past? Why even highlight the CIA at all? Simple: to show how drastically different NCIS is, how NCIS operates, but also how much Jane has changed since getting out of the spy game, and how much she’s affected the people around her because of the person she is. It’s not that she’s gone rogue and isn’t letting people in and is putting everyone in danger like everyone sees it to be, but she’s trying to keep everyone safe from how deep and messy things are when they’re not taken care of (i.e. “I made a mistake and I need to fix it”), and how much of a splintering effect it can have if not dealt with the way things need to be dealt with (and I mean “dealt with” in the CIA terms of killing someone). For Jane, Creel cannot know that Whistler helped her get close to him (despite her not knowing Creel was alive this entire time, just that someone has impersonated her and has emptied out the account). Creel cannot know that Jane has kids. Creel cannot know that she is in charge of multiple offices full of NCIS Agents and American government personnel. Creel cannot know anything. The stakes are so fucking high.
Jane is involved in a war that has now involved death, and will continue to do so. And she’d rather it be Creel’s, or hers. What if Jane had allowed for Whistler to accompany her to the house of her impostor in the name of not keeping Whistler in the dark? What if Whistler had been the one that was shot instead of Charlie-1 because none of them had vests on? Or conversely, what if Whistler had been kidnapped along Jane and had been the one getting tortured by Creel in retaliation of what happened to him?
Jane would never forgive herself if harm (or death) came Whistler’s way. So handcuffing Whistler to the column was genuinely to protect her. Not because she’s an ungrateful asshole who just uses Whistler for access or that she doesn’t trust in Whistler’s ability to handle herself in the field or that Whistler wouldn’t have her back, but because Jane knows the violent outcome of what this will be. And she’ll do everything in her power to avoid Whistler (or anyone else in her life that is important to her) to become collateral damage or fall victim to her dangerous past. It’s not that Whistler is a rookie that Jane can’t trust to have her back in the field; it’s that Jane can’t afford for harm to come her friend’s way: for Whistler to get injured, tortured, or die on her account. Jane can’t afford her closest friend to fall victim to something they will never come back from. It’s not perfect, it’s messy, but it’s Jane’s way of keeping her safe. Once again, Jane is built like a spy. Secrets and lies and shiftiness is unfortunately, a part of her DNA. But she also isn’t a heartless, unemotional, ghost of a shell. She cares so deeply for the ones she loves, and it motivates her to do the things she needs to do to keep them as far away from imminent danger as possible.
Okay, now back to Whistler. (I told you it was long)
I think what was greatly overlooked was Whistler’s reaction. She wasn’t angry, hurt, or betrayed by Jane cuffing her to the column. Frustrated, yes, but Kate immediately recognized the gravity of the situation that Jane is in, and once again, worries for her friend diving headfirst into danger. Kate doesn’t yell at Jane, she calls out her name because she fears for her friend’s life. Listen to the tone of their exchange closely. It’s not one that’s done in anger or rage. Both of them know how dangerous this has become. Again, Kate isn’t a poor chump that walked into Jane’s mess. Whistler understood what Jane has asked of her to risk. She didn’t like it, but she also can’t stand around and do nothing while her friend is in danger. Of course she’s going to help. Whistler understands immediately what Jane has walked back into. Whistler knows exactly who Jane is from her time in the DIA. I have no doubt in the back of my mind that she’s run extensive background checks on Tennant and the team while she was at the DIA because of how much of a liability the NCIS team was with the DIA (hence, her having to liaise and almost babysit them in terms of data sharing and collection.) Whistler has seen Jane’s dossier, and she’s probably studied the woman’s profile like she would’ve studied material from grad school or studied a profile on a terrorist. That’s what made Jane Tennant the bane of her existence, but it’s also what fascinates her the most: how unlike Jane is for someone that has worked for the CIA. That Jane puts others first, treats her team like they’re her family, and fiercely cares for them. This baffles Whistler to the core, because she’s worked with CIA/NSA/DEA/all government acronyms type personnel. She’s worked with spies. She’s interrogated terrorists and traitors. She knows the formula of what makes a covert operative. Jane has been everything but that. And on top of that, Whistler has worked with upper brass. She’s worked with bosses, admirals, generals, commanders, ASAC’s and SAC’s. She’s worked with people who don’t care about you unless you have impressive accolades and accomplishments that are worth listening to. So for her to cross paths with SAC Tennant... It drastically changes the way that she sees world; the people that she works with, has worked with, and it changes the way she approaches things. Whistler is a type-A personality; likes to plan ahead, likes to know exactly what is going on; every detail, and overarching piece. DIA Whistler would never have allowed for this to happen - in fact, she probably would’ve been the one to inform the brass about what was going on and would immediately have Tennant arrested for treason. But Kate Whistler, friend of Jane Tennant sees that her friend is in need of her help, and that’s what informs her decision to help Jane and go to Venezuela, despite her not actually knowing what the outcome of this entire thing will be. Despite the high risk she’s taking. Despite the fact she could very well lose her job over this if things go south. Despite seeing how much her friend has shifted back into fight or flight CIA mode. Whistler realizes how much danger Jane is in. So no, she’s not angry. 
But she sure as hell isn’t going to sit around and do nothing either. 
This is where things get real juicy, because once again, DIA Whistler would never. But FBI Whistler has spent enough time around Jane Tennant to know the kind of person she is and her value of others, that people are the priority. And when people are in danger, she will stop at nothing to come to their aid. This entire season has highlighted Whistler coming to Tennant’s rescue in sticky situations (2x08, 2x11, 2x18) and some being situations she didn’t particularly like, but have followed her and/or sent aid, or has gone to rescue Jane herself. And so far, the finale has been the culmination of that. Not because Whistler’s a pawn in Jane’s game, but because of the incredible growth that has transpired in Whistler’s character to become someone who will take risks for others, despite every ounce of her being saying otherwise. To play things safe, by the book. Whistler’s unlearning her patterns and habits of going by the book, being a stickler for the rules, because not everything in life will happen by the book. Having a relationship with someone you work with isn’t in the book. Having a drink with your co-worker at her home after having a 50-cal gun aimed and shot at you by a Yakuza member isn’t in the book. Your friend having a dangerous CIA past isn’t in the book. Not everything is in the book. Whistler is starting to see that. Whistler could’ve easily packed her shit up and angrily gone home. But she stays to go after Jane to try and rescue her. Because that’s who Whistler is.
So, finally, what’s the point of all this again?
Ah, yes. The Tennant-Whistler relationship and how it will be affected by all of this. (Oh, yes, sorry. I forgot to mention this is actually the thesis. I just hoped you would entertain my thoughts long enough and read this far, so if you did congrats. But also, I’m sorry.)
There’s a few articles out there already teasing how this will affect the team in the future - how Jane’s secrets and past will affect everyone, and immediately, how this whole “come with me to Venezuela and help me but also I’m going to handcuff you in the kitchen to keep you safe even though I might die” discourse will affect Jane and Kate’s relationship moving forward. Because on the surface, Tennant asking Whistler for this massive favour feels incredibly transactional and one sided. But if you’ve been watching the same show as everyone else has, this wouldn’t have happened if their relationship wasn’t built slowly on trust. The Whistler we see now isn’t the same Whistler that was introduced to us. The Whistler that helps Jane in Venezuela is a Whistler who, like Jane, is being formed by her experiences, which informs the decisions she makes. The Whistler we see now is someone who would lay their life down for their friend because she knows that Jane would do the same for her. The Tennant-Whistler relationship, aside from the romantic Kacy relationship, has pretty much been the forefront of this season. The tension/disagreements, the favours, the seeking out wisdom and advice, comfort & encouragement, coming to each other’s (mostly Kate coming to Jane’s) rescue. If I may be so bold to say, I actually don’t think this will affect the others as much as it will affect Jane and the choices she’s made. It’s very Jane-centric. It will be Jane-centric in the way it shapes her as a boss, a leader, and a friend. Everyone else is very secure in who they are, in their ability, and who they’re working for. It’s Jane that needs to see that she cannot continue acting on the lone wolf mentality. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t say that I think this is still very much building into NCIS Hawaii’s overarching theme of family but also how this now could be flipped on its head in later seasons as we explore more of the other characters and their pasts. But like I mentioned earlier, Jane has a past. But so does everyone else. And they needed to establish Jane’s character, all her strengths as well as her flaws, in order for people to see why she goes the absolute lengths that she does to protect who she loves (I’m still so convinced that Whistler’s DIA past and involvement in various top-secret assignments and the many people/contacts she has everywhere will also come back to haunt her in the future and when that time comes, Jane will 110% return the favour Whistler has constantly been doing for her by coming to her rescue this entire season but that’s a theory for another day), but also why the people she loves will also do the same for her (Jesse’s line in the promo, “I’d put my life on the line for you”, and Whistler coming to her rescue literally 4x this season). Jane wouldn’t abuse that. We know that Jane is going to be fine, but in light of these revelations, Jane is going to have to make some major changes regarding the way she operates as a person as a result of what happens from this entire situation. We already know that the season will conclude in its trademark ohana-esque manner (thank you promo pics), but it’s not to say that this won’t cause tension in the future. Family is messy. I can’t stress this enough. But all of them are mature enough to understand that what Jane was doing, was ultimately to protect them all. Even Alex understood the gravity of the situation. They might not like it, but they understand. And that’s an important word - the understanding. They will come to the realization that the damage control Jane was doing was very much for their safety, despite how in the dark they all felt. It’s not invitation for them to be petty, bitter, or angry with Jane. When they find out that Charlie-1 is dead and that Jane was kidnapped and tortured, they’ll see just how dangerous her past life is, and why Jane did what she had to do. Because getting shot or being kidnapped or tortured could have easily been one or more of them, had Jane not played her cards right.
Back to the Tennant-Whistler dynamic. I think Whistler and Tennant are going to continue to have their moments, but I think the establishment of this dynamic (over, say, Jane’s dynamic with Kai, Lucy, Jesse, or Ernie) has been so vital this season, a) because it shows not only how much trust has been built between the two, but how fundamentally different their dynamic will be moving forward from how Jane and Maggie’s relationship was, b) how Kate has never really had a friendship or relationship with someone like Jane ever, and aside from her own relationship with Lucy, and how much Kate also needs Jane as a figure in her life. Both women have been able to lean on each other for support and both women recognize how much they need each other. They see each other as equals; they are each other’s professional/career match (and I will die on this hill despite Kate being significantly younger than Jane, but I think Kate’s career has invited her to tables that people her age would never normally be invited to, but because of her intelligence, high capacity and ability to see things quickly and put things together has placed her higher up quicker than anyone else) and c) the theme of Whistler coming to Jane’s rescue this season will eventually come to a reversal where Whistler will find herself in trouble and will be needing Jane’s support or even rescue, and Jane will be there for her. They’ve hinted at how equally dangerous Whistler’s job is this season. They’ve hinted at Whistler being in the field more, gaining more experience. They’ve hinted Whistler leading teams, working with CI’s, setting up sting operations and leading join efforts in busts. They’ve hinted at the kind of criminals she deals with (serial killers, terrorists, assassins, etc.) This undoubtedly is going to come into play in the future.
Jane values family over everything else. But she also realizes that she can’t just use them when she needs something. She’s going to have to learn how to let her family in, and she’s going to learn that family isn’t transactional, but unconditional. And I think that’s the angle they’re going to play in the latter half of this finale, as well as building into future seasons. The lone-wolf thing will never work. We’ve seen it with Kai in the pilot. We’ve seen it with Lucy (especially in 2x19). It’s not going to work for Jane either. I mentioned earlier, Jane is not perfect. Nobody is. She’s going to have to unlearn things from her past, and she’s going to have to work towards letting people in. She’s going to have to learn to take her own advice. Yes, she’s been badly burned, and being in the espionage game has traumatized her. She’s got literal scars and experiences to show for it. But the beautiful thing is that she has a family surrounding her that will be with her every step of the way - she just has to let them be there for her the same way she’d be there for them in a heartbeat. Yes, this can be so hard to do when you’ve lived on your own and had to fight for yourself for so long, but NCIS Hawaii wouldn’t be NCIS hawaii without these incredibly important themes and arcs, and I’m thankful they’re exploring this with Jane. We’ve gotten a taste of how fiercely protective Jane is with her team and family. When a situation in the future calls for her to step into action, she absolutely will lay her life on the life for her colleagues and team the same way they would for her. I think Jesse’s line to Tennant will be the turning point for her, and she’ll do better moving forward. They needed to do this in order to set up the future story arcs for others in future seasons. Family is messy. But we’re all in it for the ride, and so are they. 
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hitwiththetmnt · 9 months
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Based on @butterfilledpockets B.E.N.T. au of the future turtles.
P1 (I have some more to post)
P2
I’m definitely not fully versed in the details and personalities for each bad ending turtle, but I imagine this would definitely be a conversation they have because everyone misses good food
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mossy-paws · 2 months
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Coroika Splatoon but it’s PHIGHTING! Roblox
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Hi to my Coroika and phighting fans so how are we feeling about this one
cooked these up in a few hours! These honestly didn’t really take that long at all and were really fun to do since I got to play around with some charcoal brushes (I love doing everything in my power to NOT use midtones lmfao).
I tired to mimic the style of the manga a bit and I think i did relatively okay! I have a lot more of these planned so yeah >:3! Really excited to get to do them sometime
Og Panels:
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starrylevi · 6 months
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Better Days ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
You don’t know if it’s the comedown from the meds, your period, or one of your disorders making you feel this extreme sadness but you need this feeling to go away. It’s more annoying than anything. You’re not one to compare anyone’s pain but Levi’s been through an entire war in which he lost his eye, a couple of fingers, and his ability to walk. The war in your head is nothing compared to that. So what you do is you grit your teeth and just try to ride this almost debilitating wave of misery until it’s over.
Of course you’re silly to think that Levi wouldn’t be able to tell something’s wrong. He’s lost some things but he definitely hasn’t lost his perceptiveness.
“Oi…” His tone is soft as he places a hand on your thigh, taking you out of your thoughts. You realize he’s right in front of you and he’s wearing a small frown. When did he get here?
You blink rapidly, your surroundings slowly coming into focus. “Hey.” You reply, your tone also soft but there’s an underlying tiredness in your voice and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Levi.
“You okay?” He asks you, giving you the chance to open up and be honest, his eyes looking at you with concern.
You blink a few more times, still in a bit of a daze. “Yeah, I’m just-“
“Don’t do that.” He cuts you off gently. You know what those words mean. You know better than to lie to me. And you do know better. But you also don’t want to burden him.
You give him a tired smile and continue. “Really, Levi-“
“C’mere.” He cuts you off again with a pat to his thigh, beckoning you to sit on him.
“Your legs, Levi.” You remind him, worried your weight on him will put too much pressure on the lower half of his body.
“I don’t care.” He sighs before he grabs you by the waist, surprising you with his upper body strength despite you knowing that he continues to keep himself in shape, especially when it comes to his arms and core. He places you onto his lap and positions you so that you’re sitting bridal style on him in his wheelchair.
“Levi…” You whine, although you let out a slight chuckle as your arms find their home around his neck.
“Mm?” He looks down at you, his eyebrows raised as his arms encircle you.
You roll your eyes playfully as he feigns stupidity.
He gives you a small smirk before his expression softens, concern still present in his eyes. “Seriously, what is it?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he presses his forehead against yours.
You sigh yourself before your shoulders raise in a defeated shrug as you look back up at him. “I don’t know…I’m just sad.” You give him a glum smile.
And there’s the truth. It hurts him to know you’re feeling this way and there’s no way for him to realistically help. He wishes he can reach inside you and pull all of the negative feelings out. He would swallow them himself if he could. He can deal with sadness but it’s a struggle to watch you deal with it. So for now he tries to help as best as he can through his touch, holding you tight against his chest as he places kisses on your skin. He might not know what to say but he knows how to touch you to remind you of the promise he made to you before the war, of living through better days. You are his better days. They don’t exist without you. But more importantly, you deserve better days. You deserve the laughter, the hugs, and the happy tears. Better days are coming, but they’re also here. And Levi’s willing to go through hell and back to make sure you stay for them.
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zeb-z · 8 months
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leo leaving foolish a sign like all the others, leaving the most concrete out of all the messages, but no one comments on it. foolish, dead quiet after asking for a direct translation, as the others come in, take note of the sign, and then continue on to other topics. forever coming up, asking if this is anything new or “just another sign”. baghera and fit, the only ones asking if he’s okay, and he just brushes it off, because of course he would, it’s foolish, and it’s easy even though it’s entirely unconvincing and obviously a lie, because everyone else is talking over them anyway. etoiles not even checking in, just pulling him aside to accuse him of federation bullshit. everyone proceeding to talk about crimes in his tower, sitting right on the concrete trail. mouse in the cappy place, saying foolish doesn’t even care about leo, he doesn’t care that she’s gone, and foolish goes quiet for a full minute, until he can find some joke to latch onto and start deflecting again. I can’t take it anymore I’m at my limit.
did anyone other than foolish know the significance of the amethyst, and take note, like they did with the other eggs and their left behind items? or was it just him, alone later on, repeating always juntos to himself as he looks at the message again.
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ash-and-starlight · 6 months
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things i’m going crazay about today: the illustrations in the he who drowned the world illumicrate cover
(artist is glassbearer on ig)
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petrichorium · 20 days
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surprise upstart dr ratio x plu x screwllum insta feed 🫶🏻 some kinda astro academia au
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gusujay · 7 months
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Everyday goes a little something like this. I open tumblr and check the pathologic tag to find art because the vibe patho artists capture is exquisite.
I immediately see someone making fun of Daniil for having highly specific special interests that he likes talking about.
I ignore it and scroll further only to see another 5 posts calling him annoying for oh wait give me a second *rereads text posts making fun of Daniil* showing symptoms of autism.
I sigh like a depressed disappointed father. I close tumblr.
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dolls-self-ships · 2 months
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the awkward moment when you’re in the middle of an x reader fic and start crying out of nowhere bc you want someone to treat you/desire you that way irl but every time you try and be with someone the aromantic feelings TM start happening again and you have to go through the slow painful realization that you only like these scenarios in fiction so you will forever be consumed by this eternal feeling of heart wrenching longing and desire for something that disgusts and churns your stomach in reality.
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glasscannonviktor · 2 years
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as a heads up for anyone who cares, elliot page came out after the scripts for s3 were locked but steve blackman still really wanted to make viktor trans so they had to fit it into preexisting scenes - so if his coming out seems rushed or casual or sudden to a degree that an individual may find dissatisfying (and I know for a fact it won’t be an arc or anything), know that that’s bc of the production schedule and real world factors
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fuckdamn · 24 days
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everytime i’m faced with wild overt misogyny that’s just platformed like it’s nothing i remind myself that people don’t actually have to feel this way about women. men are fully capable of treating women like human beings and viewing them as such. “but socialization but male fantasies but patriatchy speaks through us even when we don’t recognize it” sure but actually regardless there exist men who are fundamentally not raging misogynists and they generally seem happier and better adjusted. misogyny to me isn’t disappointing because “oh i can’t believe Men, as an essentialized category of person, are like this” it’s disappointing because people make the choice to be like this. “it’s my biological imperative as a man to dominate you” okay well it’s my biological imperative as a freaky bitch to dominate you so what now. what biological imperative is making you comment “onlyfans detected opinion rejected” on every picture of any attractive woman. i think i will always be understood by most people as a woman and i’m learning to accept that and trying to like it but misogyny makes me feel very trapped of course. but misogyny is a choice. which means some people make the choice to be misogynistic which is profoundly frustrating. but many other people choose not to be actively misogynistic and i believe anyone could choose not to be actively misogynistic if they wanted. so it’s a whole thing
#lotte.txt#womanhood is a fun thing to participate in with women who do not hate women. otherwise it’s very stifling and starts to not be worth it 4 me#for other girls — cis and trans btw — i think relishing in womanhood still feels worth it even when it’s very difficult and i admire that#but apart from my fashion sense and bloodlust i feel very detached from womanhood as like this primal animate Essence#but i don’t really want to be a man either. i like being a Weird Girl i like being a Hot Weird Girl#i’m more of a Hot Weird Girl than a Hot Weird Boy and i’ve discovered that through trial and error#and calling myself nonbinary/fluid accurately describes my experience in a lot of ways. but i also sometimes feel like the label doesn’t..#serve me? if that makes sense#like i got really into kibbe in 2020 and it was like oh shit i’m a soft dramatic. how cool that there’s something that describes my body#but after a while i got exhausted with kibbe because yeah. by the logic of the system of course i’m a soft dramatic#and i operate with that knowledge in the back of my mind. but also so what. i am aware of the shape of my body now#and now i feel the label has very little left to offer me#like if you’re asking? sure i’m a kibbe soft dramatic. but i don’t hold kibbe’s system as law or view it as crucially important#that is very much how i feel rn about calling myself nonbinary#like if you want me to think about it? yeah i don’t strictly conform to the gender binary#but i don’t believe gender itself is useful for my growth - i don’t hold the institution of the gender binary sacred - why bother#why draw attention to where i exist within the system when i’m tired of defining myself in terms of the system at all. yk#aUghj. anyway
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pastelpaperplanes · 2 years
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Hello! Will we ever get to see some of your Humanformers artwork? Might there even be an updated design of MegOp?
Instagram got a wip so it’s only fair you lot get one too 😤💪✨✨
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Yes! These two are getting some fun updates since their first appearance
I’ve been staring at this for forever now and by each passing moment I’m more and more tempted to make Megs even more grey. He’s gonna be all salt no pepper by the time I do a timeskip lol
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r0nnietherat · 6 months
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ngl mac looks very 8-year-old boy in your pfp
He’s an 8 year old there and then here as well
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spot the difference you literally can’t
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cynopoe · 5 months
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Save me older man with questionable morals save me
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jocelynships · 6 months
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I think if I told my 14 year old self I got to meet so many people from the TMNT franchise this year she’d lose her shit
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Tell me why musical theatre kids are fucking INCAPABLE of understanding that characters can MAKE BAD DECISIONS?????
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