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youremyonlyhope · 5 months

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The Giggle

Final Fourteen episode*. If I've added an asterisk it means that I correctly interpreted the vague spoiler I saw and am not happy. (Edit: Yep added the asterisk.)

Anyway. I'm just glad this means we'll finally get Gatwa!Doctor. We should have had him already.

Also forgot to put this in the last post. But. Pandemonium, the world ending, people going insane, and a Toymaker. My prediction for the plot of this episode: StarKid's Black Friday.

Sorry, all I can hear is Barney Stinson. I'm sure he did a bad German accent at some point in HIMYM. I like dolls but these puppets are creepy even to me. "Sunnier climes" OH, SO HE'S A RACIST. Hey dude. Tell Baird about the human hair before it blows up. "Imagine if it could talk." No no no. Be careful what you wish for.

Something I forgot to say much much earlier. I don't know how I feel about the intense zoom-in on the TARDIS in the opening sequence. It's almost a Torchwood level of dramatic zoom.

Very carefully not showing us Wilf's face. I wouldn't have wanted Bernard present for all this chaos either though. I'm sorry. UNIT has an Avenger's Tower now? I don't like that. I liked the Tower of London. But I guess Kate wanted to make sure they definitely didn't get shut down again. I was chanting "Slap him, slap him, slap him" as Kate walked up and when she hugged him I said "Aww" in disappointment. Oh Mel! I had been vaguely spoiled of her showing up too. RTD2, I would have preferred an Old Who companion showing up in the 60th special episode that was closest to the actual 60th, but oh well I guess I should be happy we got something Old Who at all since this really was getting close to being a purely RTD focused anniversary. "The pilot declared his right to land wherever he wanted." Greaaat. Sounds like an average day here in 'Murica honestly. "Why should I care about you?" I mean look everything I've ever seen of the Tories tells me that's just what they're like anyway. What is a Vlinx and why is it here and why do we trust it? I don't trust it. Ah. Bad idea to deactivate it for even more than a couple words honestly. So is everyone just prejudiced now? Like the racist toymaker?

TRINITY WELLS!!!!! NO WAY. NO. WAY. THEY GOT MY GIRL TRINITY BACK ON MY TV!?!?!?! THAT'S MY GIRL RIGHT THERE. I LOVE HER. Ohhhh Trinity deserves the big font for that.

I've found the one bit of RTD era nostalgia that instantly gets to me. Have Trinity Wells show up. I guess this is how everyone else has felt the last few episodes. Not even Wilf got that reaction out of me. I literally just SCREAMED "Trinity Wells!" Out loud. I can't even be mad she's spewing stupidity and is "anti-Zeedex" I am just happy to see her. That's my girl.

If nothing else comes from this episode, if I don't care about anything else, I got to see Trinity Wells again. Ok that really made me so happy just now. The Trinity Wells Show. Really showing us it's her. Ahhh I love her. Seriously I'm reacting the way I probably would have reacted if they ever acknowledged Frobisher during Twelve's era. Only Martha showing up could get a bigger reaction out of me right now. Truly that was a cameo aimed at me and only me it feels like. So like the Master's network? "It's not like the old Archangel Network." Ok never mind. Oh so Rose only came out as trans 6 months ago. I WAS GONNA SAY THAT THE CHILDREN'S VOICES WE HEARD BEFORE THE TIME-SKIP WAS MY VOCAL WARMUPS. God I need to write things down when I think of them. NOOO. I THINK I KNEW ABOUT THE FIRST TV VIDEO BEING A PUPPET OR SOMETHING. THIS SOUNDS FAMILIAR. I don't mean to be That Person but the whole human race isn't connected by Internet yet. We still got uncontacted/limited contact tribes and groups all over the place. Hundreds if not thousands of people who have never seen a screen. Oh yeah! They're President of the World!

(I took way too long searching to find that specific gif. But I love that gif so much.)

"120 plus five weeks holiday." "Done." YAS GET THAT MONEY DONNA. Also find Martha to see if she's still freelance or not. "So you talk about no one. Ever." I don't mean to quote Jack Harkness, but not if they're blonde... Doctor. You are. Avoiding. Still so much Thirteen in you. NOPE. LOL at them having to use basically refurbished still images from the lost episodes. BBC, this is only the fault of your own that they're missing. I hope you two have learned from last episode to STAY TOGETHER. Rules of play. Lawless. Hmm. So the Toymaker made everyone act like kids where the world revolves around them and only them? WHAT DID I SAY. STAY. TOGETHER. Oh no he's way too light. That was way too heavy for the Doctor to lift. Who's your mummy? Not an Empty Child reference just me being convinced his mummy is going to be someone. Oh nooooo not the "mama" and the teeth. OH RECAP TIME. Is this because they know a bunch of people skipped Twelve and Thirteen and even Eleven? Oh well. At least some acknowledgement. Still wish it was in the first of the specials but ok. "Oh, well, that's all right then." Ok look Toymaker has got a point for those three "surviving" but dying. Why only reference the Flux and nothing else Thirteen went through? Part of me is upset at no mention of the Fam and Dan, not even at least Yaz since Fourteen would have seen her only days earlier, but Thirteen had a clean track record of companions surviving so it's ok. Ok NPH's using his Barney magic trick skills ok. I see you. What do you mean a jigsaw of the Doctor's history? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT. PLEASE BE A REFERENCE TO THE ORIGINAL OLD WHO EPISODE. DON'T BE A HINT THAT RTD2 IS GOING TO TRY TO RETCON THE TIMELESS CHILD. JUST LET IT BE. I'm sorry the Master is in your WHAT. "The one who waits." Amy? Rory? They both waited. "That's someone else's game." huh. Sorry, all I see is Barney Stinson even in the mannerisms. I was wondering why if they went back in time that things would still be bad in the future. Since if they fixed it in 1925 it wouldn't happen. The Toymaker wouldn't be there. But no wibbly wobbly timey wimey just a different order. They should take the little toy box. Oh good took it. Don't you dare kill of Mel right here while she's watching the box. Don't you dare. I haven't even seen any of her episodes but I swear if you kill her.... WHAT. IS. THE. VLINX. THOUGH. Hey Doctor, at least tell Kate what you're up against. I was about to say that NPH was pretty perfect casting for a role like this, then the Toymaker threw Kate into a wall and too I'm mad now. DON'T HURT MEL TOO. Oh no. Kateeee I love you I do but listen to him ok? NOW you tell her about the Toymaker. Maybe some warning next time? Eh. He can shoot it. I didn't like this new UNIT building anyway. This is very Christmas Invasion. [thud] [glass shattering] OK that was dark. Wait celestials were a thing in Do You Hear Me? right? "And yet, I have fallen in love with humanity." Really hitting the nail on the "just like the Doctor" head here. OH. WOW. OOOOOOOOOOH. Next Doctor. Oooooooooooh. "It doesn't matter who. Because every single one of you is fantastic" RTD2 that better be a purposeful Nine reference though I know it's not. Don't you dare say "I don't want to go." for the third time. "Allons-y." Ok I'll accept that.

NO. NOT AGAIN. WE ARE NOT DOING ANOTHER TEN REGENERATION FAKE OUT. NO.

"What?" No. Nope. The spoiler came true and I am not happy about it. Time to add that asterisk. No. Is he not even wearing pants? Oh but I love Gatwa as the Doctor already so much. He's here. Oh Fifteen (fine I will say the number. I think this is the first time) gets to keep the tie. I meant to say I liked the grey knit tie earlier like 2 episodes ago. And the shoes. Oh and Ten's in an undershirt, I thought the shirt multiplied somehow just to not leave Fifteen totally naked. "Someone tell me what the hell is going on here?" I am so happy to see you. Why must your first scene involve you not wearing pants though? The disrespect. "I think you're beautiful." "Do you come in a range of colors?" "Yes." I... do not know how I feel about that line. I really don't like that Fifteen has to LITERALLY share his start with Fourteen. I was saying it when Gatwa was first announced as Fourteen and then not Fourteen because then Tennant got announced. And now it's literally happening. They're sharing the lines, the scene, 1 of 3 specials. Really more like half a special if we're being generous. I really wish we had just not done this Tenthree thing at all. See even Fourteen got to say "I'm the Doctor" first while Fifteen said "And I'm the Doctor." like. Come on. At least let Fifteen have that first line. HEY. THE CAPTIONS SAY [TENTH DOCTOR] NOT FOURTEENTH. SO WHICH IS IT. WHAT IS THE TRUTH. DOES THIS NOT COUNT?

Ok seriously. Give the man some pants. Like come on.

Eeek did he have too many teeth? He looked like he had too many teeth. Flat, 2D, like Flatline? "My legions are coming." Ok and that means... Oooh I did not like that the laugh's arpeggio didn't resolve. "And bind it in salt." SO. IS THIS SALT THING. REALLY A THING NOW? REALLY? Or is it just because the Doctor mentioned the whole salt thing being the leak that let the Toymaker in? And what about mavity? There's 15 minutes. The ball fell but did it hit the ground yet? Gravity? Maybe the game didn't end? The Doctor kissed themself. Not in the way the Master did but still.

Give him some pants please.

NO. NO. NOT ANOTHER LADY WITH RED NAILS PICKING UP SOMETHING THAT HAS THE MASTER INSIDE IT. NO. SERIOUSLY RTD WHY ARE WE DOING THINGS OVER? Unless it's Dhawan!Master. Then I will accept that. I will gladly have Dhawan!Master back. BUT OTHERWISE NO. I REFUSE. Why is Fourteen explaining this to Fifteen, he should remember it since he's him. Like come on. "This is great. I think. Is it?" That was a Thirteenism right there. "One thing you need in this place is a chair." see that's the Doctor channeling Bill judging Twelve not having chairs close enough to the console. "Adric." "Adric." ADRICCCCCC. Seriously that hurts me and like I said I haven't even watched that part of Old Who. God. Stop bringing up Rose come on. OH WAIT. WAIT.

WAIT.

"I loved her. And Rose." OH MY GOD. I hate Tenrose but even I'M freaking out that the Doctor just admitted to loving Rose out loud. OH MY GOD. I mean still fanservice pandering. But FINE. Fine. Tenrose shippers take this one I'm giving it to you. I got so distracted by my annoyance at the still constant bringing up of Rose I almost missed the weight of what that meant. Still mad about the Rose-colored-glasses of the RTD era but good for you guys getting this.

Mavic Chen? Remind me to look that up it sounds really familiar. Ah, wish I didn't look it up, gotta love that 60s racism. Rehab in reverse. So you're saying we're gonna check back in on Fourteen in the future and he'll properly regenerate and/or kind of pop into existence in the moment that Fifteen bi-generated? Maybe? Hopefully? God if I had a nickel for every time RTD had a second Doctor separate from the main Doctor and had Tennant's face stay on Earth with a companion, I'd have two nickels. Don't you dare split the TARDIS too. That's too much. I assume this hammer is an Old Who reference. If so, very cute. They split the TARDIS. And Fifteen gets the second TARDIS. I can't really describe my mood besides -_- "I am so sorry." Yeah you better apologize to her. Ok that's cute the ramp. Why the jukebox though. Traditional Earth ballad? If Billie Piper shows up I'm literally stomping across the pond to RTD's house and killing him because that'll officially be Too Much. I can't even be completely happy at Gatwa's first proper TARDIS flight. "You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye were you?" Of course he was. Ask Sarah Jane. ASK SUSAN. "As if I would ever do that." At least you're self aware. Have these two been the first Doctors to hug? So Fifteen tells people he loves them. Willingly. Openly. Frequently. And a lot. I like that. (Yes Fourteen said he loved Wilf and River but shhh that was over the course of days. Fifteen has said I love you twice in like 3 minutes and was very affectionate to Mel)

Can we PLEASE put this man in some pants though!?

The little 2-finger salute from Fourteen is cute though. "The eyebrow story." TWELVE? Nope an alien species. "Oh, you're family, darling. Sit down." AWWWW. AWWWWWW MEL GETS A FAMILY. Ok. Ok that's really sweet. That's what I care about. Not even Tenthree/Fourteen getting a family. Mel gets one. Empty chair. It's for Wilf yes but let me pretend Martha's just running late to dinner ok? Ok. "I've never been so happy in my life." That's good. Fifteen really split off from Fourteen and was like "Ok you carry all the trauma and deal with it. I'm gonna keep running away."

I knew the Vlinx was voiced by Nicholas Briggs. What IS the Vlinx though? Because I really was waiting for it to be like a plant by the Toymaker.

God I can't believe we're really gonna do the same thing all over again with the Master. Like I said, if it's Dhawan!Master then I'm overjoyed. If it's another, I'm not as happy. I'm hoping that because it was the same way Simm!Master had came back as himself, it means Dhawan!Master will too. We'll see. And who grabbed the tooth this time? At least last time the ring was in a forest. I could believe someone was nearby to take it. But they're on a HELICOPTER LANDING PAD. In the secure UNIT building. Seriously who picked up the tooth?

GIVE. MY MAN. SOME PANTS. I feel so insulted that Gatwa spent all of his moments in his first episode IN HIS UNDERWEAR.

The absolute highlight of the episode was seeing Trinity Wells. Literally the most excited I've been about any of these fanservice moments. That feels like it was fanservice just aimed directly at me. As if RTD2 was like "Hope's not gonna enjoy this. What can we do? No no I'm not bringing back Martha. Oh! Trinity Wells!"

*Asterisk time! I can only hope that Fourteen is just another Tentoo and will live and die a normal human life but that's not what seems to be the case. I don't like that there's just another Doctor floating around. I had been spoiled for it. I hoped I had misunderstood the post since I hadn't properly finished reading it once I realized it was a spoiler. But I interpreted it correctly. If it ends up being that Fourteen does eventually regenerate and kind of hops back into the moment the body splits into Fourteen and Fifteen, then fine. But like. Otherwise, if there's now just a separate branch of Doctors and regenerations and then Fifteen technically has to share the title of Fifteen with whoever regenerates from this Fourteen then I will be so mad. Is this Fourteen really Fourteentoo? Or Tenfour. CAN WE JUST STOP REGENERATING INTO DAVID TENNANT AT THIS POINT. Just have him come back as Ten, he doesn't need to be three maybe FOUR different Doctors!

Oh my god. If RTD2 pulls a "Fugitive!Doctor is actually a Doctor AFTER Fourteen and regenerated and forgot everything and then met Thirteen" instead of being a pre-First Doctor then I'll actually riot. If that's the meaning of the jigsaw of their history, I'm really gonna actually riot.

Of the 3 specials. The Meep was eh. It was fine. Pure nostalgia and a nightmare fuel alien monster of the week. However, I REALLY enjoyed Wild Blue Yonder. That was right up my alley combining aspects of a lot of my favorite past episodes. And the Giggle was fine. Better than the Meep, definitely. I love Fifteen. I'm mad about the bi-generation thing. I would have preferred if after the Toymaster was gone for a bit that Fourteen got sucked back into Fifteen or something as a way of the Universe correcting itself. I'm mad that for most of Fifteen's scenes, it felt more like he was Fourteen's companion. Not the next Doctor. ALSO WHY COULDN'T WE GIVE FIFTEEN SOME PANTS PLEASE. AT LEAST IN THE LATER SCENES.

Also is it still mavity? Did Donna really just ruin all of human history with that one joke?

Oh I just started proofreading and I realize my prediction of Black Friday was wrong. I really thought the Toymaker was gonna make everyone go crazy over a puppet toy.

GIVE FIFTEEN SOME PANTS.

#hope watches doctor who #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers #the giggle #my non-spoiler verdict: pants #also: a cameo that only i would freak out over #(no it's not the obvious person who you think it is. if it had been i'd be a crying mess probably)

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gambitimagines · 3 years

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J’tadore Vous Part 3

Sorry this isn’t as soon as I/you would’ve liked. Insomnia weeks again! Also, I figure everyone understands I’m human and need breaks to recharge, have other responsibilities and can’t write fics all day, as fun as that would be. Thanks!

The legend is my own imagining based off Remy’s less-than-flattering nickname for the purpose of the story.

Warnings: Jack the Ripper references, but nothing graphic. Mentions of women being accosted and other stuff, but nothing too horrid. If men locking car doors triggers you, skip where the asterisks are.

-------

You we’re up late researching Remy, but not so late you couldn’t get up the next morning. You headed to the museum to look into a lead. The legend of Le Diablo Blanc-the white devil. (Not to be confused with Daredevil.)

Legend had it that a mysterious figure showed up around New Orleans around the 1900s, the same time as a man was doing some horrific “Jack-the-Ripper” inspired killings, but a bit less dark. Young women were accosted, preyed upon and several were killed, or wounded if they managed to somehow get away. Then, one day, mentions of a savior started spreading like wildfire through the town. He would pull away damsels in distress, but they never saw his face. He wore a black mask to cover his features, but all you could see were glowing red eyes and white skin, so the papers branded him Le Diablo Blanc. Stories went around of him throwing playing cards that exploded at the murderer, but he didn’t catch him for about a year. Until 1915. The killer was dropped off at the local police station tied up with some rope, looking worse for wear, and the queen of hearts card stuffed into a large gash in his arm.

After that, there were a few stories in surrounding southern states about the hero rescuing people, but they completely stopped in 1918. The hero had hung up his mask for a quieter life.

You weren’t positive that he and Remy were one in the same, but it was worth looking into. Then there was the picture. You planned to take it to your friend at Kensworth’s Copies to be blown up for a better look.

At the museum, you looked through the historical books and files for anything on Le Diablo Blanc or Remy LeBeau. Despite being a museum of _Natural_ History, the place had many books, files, CD’s, and other media on general history about the nation and the world. You also planned on going to the library, because they might have something there. Newspaper articles or something. You didn’t know how much fame Remy had garnered over the years, if any, but billionaires never seemed to stay out of the limelight.

“You’re here? On a weekend?” Jenny entered the office looking exhausted. Her hair was a mess and she looked frazzled. What the actual frigging heck?

“Personal project,” You murmured, barely looking up from the many open books in front of you, “If I’m in the way, I can step out for a bit, but this is important.”

“No, no.” Jenny waved her hands, “I’m just a corporate slave. There’s a meeting with the higher ups at freaking nine-am and I was instructed to come, take some notes and be amicable to that snake, Misses Winters.”

Mrs. Winters was a 70-something year old woman who was the head of the museum. You crossed her, you were fired. She was known as cold-hearted and ruthless. Not a warm person.

“How did yesterday go with the mutie?”

“I told you not to use that word around me. It went fine.” You looked up a moment. Jenny really did look like garbage today. “Why do you look so...out of sorts?”

“Didn’t sleep good. Sister and her five-month old twins needed a place to stay at two this morning. She got into another argument with her husband.” Jenny drank her coffee, “I’m gonna go freshen up. Have fun on your _day off_. See you _Monday_.” She was venomous, but you couldn’t blame her. Everyone needed their sleep.

In moments, you forgot her. Somewhere between ancient Mesopotamia and the California gold rush, you found more stories of a dashing red-eyed savior sprinkled throughout history. You went back further in history, jumping around books.

1842-Colombu’s travels include a snippet about a red-eyed man saving one of his ships from thieves before leaving port by somehow blowing up several barrels.

1924-Remy’s picture is clearly snapped in a crowd at the opening of one of the first Ford Automotive companies.

1912-The Queen of England is saved by a man only known as LeBeau. No other description is given.

1202 A.D- The Mayans have a symbol carved into a wall of a hand seemingly on fire. One of their villages had a rockslide the week before, but the casualties hadn’t been that bad.

1995-Remy Picard gets his picture in the New York Chronicle for making 500 billion and donating some of his money to a new children’s hospital.

You sit back in your chair a moment. Taking it all in. Was it a trick? Coincidence? You needed to know more. You got your bag and headed to the library.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You went through the history section at the New York City library, getting out book after book again. It took over two hours, but you’d made out a hypothesis.

Remy was possibly born around the time Egypt reigned, if not earlier. He had to survive because of his mutantcy, you knew that much. He’d obviously amassed billions, keeping his profile low key over the recent years, for the most part. Hide in plain sight and you wouldn’t get caught. As far as the public knew, he was a rich mutant, nothing more. He’d hung up his hero status for reasons unknown, but he wasn’t as “young” as the history book claimed.

The figment, the savior, the man with the seductive, beautiful red eyes wasn’t a myth shrouded in stories and half-truths. He was real. And he wasn’t hundreds of years old. He was _thousands_ of years old!

The book you were looking at in the library shut loudly, making you jump. Remy was beside you.

“So, you found out my secret, after all, Cherie. You come with me. We need to talk.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Remy drove the two of you to an empty parking lot away from the city. You were suddenly terrified. What did he do to people that found out his secret? Kill them?

******************************************************************************

Your anxiety wasn’t helped when you heard the doors lock with a click.

“Wh-wh-what are you planning on?” you stuttered.

“Easy, (Y/N). I just want to talk and don’t want you storming out on me. We’re gonna have a talk and I’m going to explain everything.”

“Okay,” You couldn’t stop shaking. You wished you’d bought pepper spray, but your fears were calmed a little as he placed his large hands over yours.

******************************************************************************

“I’m not going to hurt you. I’d never think of hurting you, please don’t be so scared of me,” Remy insisted, his eyes soulful and pleading. He really seemed to mean it.

You just nodded.

“I was born in the time of Pharoh when Egypt was the ruling power. A scholar took me under his wing and raised me, but was killed in battle. I was trained to fight, but because of my eyes and powers, the Pharoh Rama-Tut tried to have me assassinated, thinking I’d take over. I didn’t have any desire for prestige or kingship, I just wanted to live my life out and die as normal, but we don’t always get what we want. That’s the secondary part of my mutation; I live a long time. Maybe forever, I don’t know. I do know that I’ve forced myself into isolation and it’s getting boring. I gave you that picture on purpose, hoping you’d be curious enough to find out my secret. You’re cute and sweet. I meant it when I said I wanted to get to know you, and I want you to know me as well. No secrets. But there’s something else, and I don’t want you to get angry,”

“Oh, what? My manager is in the trunk because you’re out to stop bigotry?” You scoffed. You’d gradually stopped shaking, feeling better. Safer with him.

“I tried to save people, but I couldn’t save everyone. Women and children have died in my arms. Men hunted me down for what I was, even when I was trying to do the right thing. The best thing. To help and save others. I’ve made mistakes and people got hurt, people died. I just don’t want that to make you see me differently,” Remy said, “Someone else did once. Renay LeFluer. She never forgave me.”

“I’m not her, Remy.” You tentatively touched his shoulder, “I get it. You can’t save everyone. No one can, not even superheroes. You can trust me too.”

Silence.

“Thank you, (Y/N). I’m glad we understand each other but are we on the same page? Would you like to go out with me?” Remy asked.

“I’d love that, Remy. Now?”

“Tomorrow night,” Remy said, “You’ve had a long morning and it’s only Saturday. The place I have in mind is upscale, so you have to look your best.-Not that you aren’t cute now.” He brushed some hair out of your face.

“I’ll look forward to it,” You smiled.

Remy took you back to your car. You had many questions but didn’t want to bombard him all at once. That could wait until you saw him again.

TO BE CONTINUED

#gambit x reader #remy lebeau x reader #AU fic #Alternate Universe fic #story imagine #MCU #X-Men imagine #MCU imagine #thousands of years old AU #romantic #timeless

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tobebugjewce · 3 years

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THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.??

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK.

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link; “https://youtu”

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files;

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote;

Technical Support 1978

then,

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless:

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well.

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

#the walten files #twf #notes #horror

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captain-rez · 2 years

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The Asterisk Grows Smaller

(This relationship is first shown in “Another Asterisk”)

“-once again bringing up at the table how the head of the house should be clear of head, as if I do not take proper care of my health!” Auplent rages on as he cuts the buffalo meat into tiny bites. Whether it was to eat or to feed to a small animal, Rez had no way of knowing, but since he had personally cooked it, he was hoping for the former. The sky captain nodded as the Elezen released his pent-up anger. “He may be my father but undermining me in front of other lords of houses only weakens our own standing.”

“Yer only speakin’ the truth ta me.” Rez agrees. While he only had a foggy idea about the politics within Ishgard, he still understood the importance of having a strong standing, “If yer ta take his place one day, ya can’ have folks whisperin’ abou’ the way he once referred ta ya.” The Miqo’te forgo knives, using his teeth to strip the meat and chewed thoughtfully on it, enjoying how it felt in his mouth. Without a sense of smell, it was really one of the few ways he could get an idea on how well something was cooked.

“And you my dear are only speaking to the choir as I have made this point to him innumerable times.” Finally the Elezen brought one of the quarter of an ilm piece of meat to his mouth and swallowed. While some might find this quirk to be a slap to the face, as if he didn’t want to taste the food he was eating, Rezaria knew it was actually a tradition in his family for whatever odd reason. The Miqo’te rested in chin on the palm of his hand, watching Auplent as he ate, just enjoying their time together. Wine wasn’t really a preferred drink for himself, but Auplent always enjoyed a bottle from La Noscea, which Rez made sure to pick one up before flying north, and beamed as the Elezen sipped from his cup, the tips of his ears starting to point up as a sign that he liked it. “Oh, as for your project.” Auplent wiped the corners of his mouth on a small handkerchief he kept in his shirt, “I have spoken with the engineer, and they should have a design ready for you soon. Mr. Denier made a.. well it was not so much a promise as a vague dialogue about perfection could not be rushed and so on and so forth, but the Viera knows good work.”

Rez chuckled softly, looking around his quarters, “Aye, the lad does know good work even if he’s a blowhard.” Drumming his fingertips along the table Rez glanced to his bed, and back at Auplent, “Sure I can’ sway ya ta spend the nigh’? Me bed may naugh’ be as comfy as yers, bu’ I know a few ways ta make it especially comfy.” Rez winks, but it was lost as Auplent looked over a missive

“Hmm? Oh, no that is not needed, you have given me all I can take earlier, and I need to wake up early for a meeting.”

Rezaria grinned with a shrug, not that the Elezen could see it. “Shore, I un’erstand. Can’ keep them stiffnecks awai’in’ on me accoun’.”

Auplent rose from the table and started to move towards the cabin door, before, “Whoops, almost forgot.” He heads back to the table, Rez leaning across grinning up to him before watching him pick up the bottle, “Valant would never say it to you, but he loves these.” The Elezen’s honey-like laugh could be heard as he walked out of the cabin, leaving Rez to slump back in his seat.

#Rez Stories #Storytime

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adultswim2021 · 3 years

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Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law #1: "Bannon Custody Battle" December 30, 2000 - 4:30AM | S01E01 Welcome to the first episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, the first show on Adult Swim’s roster that I rejected as a substandard product. It should’ve been the Brak Show. In the opening episode, Birdman takes a case from Dr. Benton Quest, better known as Jonny Quest’s father. Race Bannon is fighting for custody of the boy, arguing that he’s a much better, much more present father figure to Jonny. Harvey Birdman was first conceptualized with an episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. In the episode “Pilot” we’re shown a supposed disastrous pilot episode of “Coast to Coast” where Birdman was originally attached as the star. Birdman, a depressive, out-of-work super hero, utterly botches the job as his inability to host a late-night show due to his deriving all his powers from the sun becomes more apparent. The character recurs a few more times, most notably in the episode “Sequel”, where Birdman guest-hosts the show. Still, to call this a proper Space Ghost spin-off requires carrying a big asterisk along with it. The character name “Harvey Birdman” was invented for Space Ghost, but besides both being based on the old 60s Birdman Hanna-Barbera show, they have little to do with one another. One would get almost nothing out of watching the original Space Ghost episodes before watching this (except for, you know, getting to see episodes of a much funnier show).

So in Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law you have one 60s Hanna-Barbera character as a lawyer taking court cases from various other Hanna-Barbera characters, usually of a similar vintage. In this particular episode we’re treated to a lot of jokes about the homoerotic subtext of Jonny Quest, specifically the relationship between Race Bannon and Benton Quest. The writers decide to tastefully side-step the seemingly pederast relationship between Race and Jonny. Watching the original Jonny Quest with the same attempt to subvert and recontextualize the relationships between the characters through a modern lens, a certain type of observer would probably note the amount of shirtless roughhousing Race does with Jonny. Speaking of watching Jonny Quest: I have to admit something: I never really watched Jonny Quest at all before writing this blog. I’ve had an interest in older shows and cartoons my entire life, but the entire genre of action cartoon didn’t appeal to me whatsoever when I was a kid. So last night I watched my first episode of Jonny Quest, in glorious 1080p on my new 4K television; a format it was never EVER intended to be viewed in. Jonny Quest is objectively junk. It’s fun, boyish, escapist entertainment, and there’s a lot of good irony in it, especially with it’s antiquated portrayal of other cultures from a bygone era when we were far less connected to the rest of the world. It has limited animation and simplistic design. The backgrounds look like they were painted on a post-it-note and most of the men are drawn to look like reskinned versions of Race Bannon. But there’s at least something a LITTLE charming about it. In fact, there was one moment of beautifully scripted action that absolutely won me over: Race and Jonny’s speed boat goes airborne briefly and crushes the bad guy’s boat from above as they speed towards one another. I nearly cheered when it happened. I knew The Venture Bros took liberally from Jonny Quest, but the coolest action sequences on that show seemed to be striving for the same exact visceral reaction I got from seeing Race crunch up some lizard men on a boat. Birdman is a similar deal: He was a cookie-cutter imitation of comic book heroes from the silver-age of comics (the obvious comparison here is DC’s Hawkman). I actually did watch a Birdman adventure late last night as I was falling asleep to follow up on Jonny Quest, but it felt less important. I can remember checking out the original Birdman on DVD not too long ago. Also, your typical Harvey Birdman usually focuses on jokes about shows other than Birdman. Still, it’s neat to see those characters in their original context, as well as that Hanna-Barbera stock-explosion animation we all know and love from Space Ghost blowing up Zorak on Coast-to-Coast. Also the episode I watched will be heavily referenced later, but not for this. I only watched the first episode of Jonny Quest taking a cue from my friend Kon who noted that most of the references in “Bannon Custody Battle” are directly from the first episode. The most specific (and funniest) scene in the whole show involves the Lizard Men, the main villains of that first installment. Other characters show up very briefly, and are all ones that appear in the opening sequence. Unless I find out differently (I’ll probably try to make my way through the rest of Quest in preparation for Venture Bros.), it really does seem like the writers just watched the first episode of Jonny Quest to write this show. Watching this episode of Harvey Birdman was like batting away an existential crisis. I remember vaguely at the time not being SUPER hot on this show, but I cut it a lot of slack and trusted that it would simply get funnier. I wanted to love all the shows on Adult Swim. Anyway, I went from being lukewarm on Birdman, to hating it. Reading my own earlier review of Birdman I blasted this episode for being homophobic. I used to have a very low tolerance for gay jokes, back when they were highly in fashion. But now that we live an era where there’s an arms race to find new ways to scold one another for perceived slights gay jokes can sometimes, NOT ALWAYS, be a little refreshing to hear. The fact that my stance on gay jokes can change as long as it’s in direct-opposition with the rest of the world is at least a little troubling. Does this mean I’m an inauthentic reactionary? Yes. Yes it does. There, I admitted it. Now, let me off the hook, please. I say that sorta jokingly. The gay jokes in this are mostly pretty lame, and come off like Mike Scully-era Simpsons gay jokes. The early scene at the beginning where Birdman eyes widen when he’s misunderstanding the nature of Dr. Quest’s and Race Bannon’s relationship really does come off as early 90′s homophobia. I remember it seemed out of place at the time. I’m sure it played just fine in the midwest, but the show didn’t really put it’s best foot forward with that. Speaking of lame jokes, this episode has a few that have nothing to do with insulting gay people. One of my least favorite bits involve the specific gag of undercutting a dramatic moment with characters fumbling around awkwardly in true-to-life fashion. Why, if a person tried to recreate a dramatic sting you’d see before a commercial break in real life, you’re right, it’d probably go awkwardly! But this 11 minute show has at least 3 explicit examples of this, and it’s only mildly amusing once:

Bannon dramatically walks out on Dr. Quest, after announcing his intention to take Jonny with him. He awkwardly comes back because he forgot his keys

Birdman dramatically argues with a rival prosecutor and summons his personal digital assistant, and then awkwardly fumbles with it

Birdman proves that the Race Bannon on the witness stand is actually a robot by unplugging him, but he accidentally pulls the wrong cord and has to spend a few seconds untangling and retracing the correct cord.

Another thing about Birdman is that there is usually a lack of strong jokes. The show usually includes a layer of comedy where there are simply characters who simply have odd, scattered speech patterns or odd ticks. The rival lawyer in this slurs his speech in a particular way: cut to the jury looking confused. That’s the joke. The Judge grumbles in an ornery fashion and generally acts like he doesn’t wanna be there. He says stuff that sounds like bad improv. That’s the joke. The show will only ocassionally come up with jokes to justify these character traits. It’s just silliness that doesn’t usually go anywhere. But, I do kinda like some things about this episode. It was animated by J.J. Sedelmaier, known for early digital animation seen in the crude era of Beavis and Butt-head and SNL’s TV Funhouse. They really do have their own style of comic timing, and there are some gags in this where the animation works in their favor. There are some jokes where the drawings really sell the comedy. I’m not sure if I liked this animation better or worse, but it does match the oddly-stilted Jonny Quest animation better than the episodes that came after this would have. Oh, one of the funniest bits not on the show was when I popped in the DVD I forgot that the menu music is Wesley Willis’ “Birdman Kicked My Ass”. If I were in high school when the DVD came out I would have loved it just for that reason. Same could be said “Jonny Quest Thinks We’re Sell-Outs” by Less Than Jake. I was an easily impressed kid.

#adult swim #harvey birdman attorney at law #adultswim2021

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redbeanboi · 4 years

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Excerpt from “Un Sospiro”

Sneak peak at my upcoming Giorno/Reader fic titled Un Sospiro, for my dear beanie babies!!! A Business Before Pleasure spinoff fic.

Fic summary: They say that “Mozart makes babies smart,” but who’s going to tell Giorno that Mista accidentally got him tickets to listen to Franz Liszt for two hours?

Arranged marriage awkwardness galore!!! Title taken from one of my most favorite piano pieces of all time, Franz Liszt’s Concert Etude No. 3 in Db Major, better known by its nickname “Un sospiro.”

“There,” you sighed, finally satisfied with the arrangement you’d set for the toys in the nursery.

Truth be told, the baby was not born yet and they wouldn’t be playing with the toys until they were at least several months old, but something compelled you to organize them by color and height as soon as you returned from your visit to the doctor that morning. Plucking at a plush elephant’s ear, you hummed. Yes; this would do. For now, at any rate.

“Finally happy with those ridiculous stuffed toys?” your father asked dryly over the phone. “I’m sure they’ve gotten enough attention from you for today.”

“You’d be doing the same if you were here,” you shot back into the mouthpiece. “And it’s called ‘nesting’ for a reason, Patri.”

“Oh yes, of course. How silly of me to forget,” he sighed. “But I do hope this child will be appreciative of your attention to detail… But… do you need any other toys? Or perhaps I should send one of those silly contraptions that they make—oh, I can’t remember what they’re called. High chairs?”

“You seem rather dedicated,” you taunted. “Excited, even.”

“Of course I am. I never did meet my first grandchild.”

*******

“One day, you’ll present your son—my own grandson— to the rest of the Commission. He’ll be treated like royalty, that is for certain—”

“What if I have a girl?” you asked.

He laughed. “You and your husband will probably have boys and girls, and plenty of them—”

“And what if I only have girls?”

“It’s highly unlikely.”

“But what if?” you wondered.

“Well… In that case, I suppose Don Giorno would appoint Signore Mista as his successor until another suitable candidate came along.”

“And then everyone would hate me.”

“No one could ever hate you, trisoru,” your father insisted over the phone.

“My husband would,” you replied quietly.

“Why would you say that?”

It would fare better for you if you changed the subject. “Nevermind what I said,” you dismissed, plopping down into an armchair in defeat.

Giorno had been distant even earlier on in your marriage, and truth be told, little had changed since you announced your pregnancy to him. But several months earlier, you were convinced that your relationship with Giorno was beginning to improve. Perhaps he had felt unease by your aloofness, for Giorno had taken it upon himself to reach out to you with small gestures—attempts at conversing with you and becoming better acquainted with you, presenting you with gifts and a vase full to bursting with flowers every week and, most importantly, taking you out to dinner and spending time with you.

In just a few weeks, you managed to share a few stories from your days as Don Vittorio and Cosa Nostra’s principessa, relating each tale with a level of comfort that surprised even your husband. Wishing for more, and perhaps thinking that it was time you fulfilled your end of the agreement, you suggested to Giorno that you try to… well, have children. And while Giorno agreed that it was time to start a family, you hadn’t expected him to withdraw once you announced your pregnancy to him.

Naturally, the event had erased all of the progress you’d made. Suddenly Giorno was too busy to even eat dinner with you, and when you proposed he attend your doctor’s visits with you, he had immediately offered one of his own men to accompany you in his stead. All of this you related to your father, and time and time again, you were told that it was all a simple misunderstanding.

But it still could not explain why Giorno kept his distance or remained awfully cold when before he expressed an earnest effort to establish some relationship with you.

“Is this about that business with your husband shying away?”

Frustrated, you pushed yourself to your feet, hobbling past the bassinet and towards an open window. You could use some fresh air.

As you finally reached the window, you leaned against the sill and inspected your appearance through a mirror several paces away. Moments like this were clear reminders of the fact that you were carrying your first child; even at sixteen weeks, it was rather obvious that you were soon to be a mother. Your waist had thickened significantly, and at times it was easier to simply slip into whatever loose fitting clothing that you had on hand. There was no need to buy new clothing, however, not until the next visit. Most of your clothes fit rather well still. That will change soon enough, you reminded yourself. You were nearly halfway through the pregnancy, though you often forgot that crucial detail yourself.

Nearly there, you thought, sighing. Sixteen weeks on your own thus far—and all with no family, no friends, and certainly no husband at your side. Would it always be like this?

“Can’t I stay with you until the child’s born?” Giorno would hardly notice your absence.

“You should stay with your husband, who, need I remind you, is the father of this child. He’s your family now.”

A shot in the dark, you noted bitterly.

“Y/n?” asked your father.

“Yes?” you asked, still staring into the mirror, half-listening.

“I don’t know your husband terribly well, but from the times I’ve spoken with him over the phone… I’m sure he doesn’t bear any ill-will or hatred.”

“I should hope not,” you joked lightly. “We did manage to get this far along…”

“Perhaps you ought to speak to him. He might not even realize what he’s done.”

Finally you pulled away from the sunlight, sighing as the curtain fell back against the window and certain you had found peace when you saw a shape move in its reflection. The drapes were still swinging when you spun on your heel and glanced at the door, which to your surprise, hung ajar. Had you forgotten to close it?

Whatever myths people made when it came to pregnant women and their memories, you were almost certain that the door was securely shut the moment you entered, having followed the same procedure you carried out whenever you called your father. The last thing you ever needed was for someone to overhear you share a few laughs with Don Vittorio. Maintaining your image as a dignified Signora was of the utmost importance to you, after all.

You were still pondering the question of whether you’d left the door open when your gaze fell upon a familiar tube of French hand cream sitting on the table just beside the door, barely used since the doctor’s visit this morning, when… when I had asked Don Giorno to hold onto it for me.

For several seconds you stood there, gaping at the door until you took slow, leaden steps towards it. You swallowed hard and prayed that it had just been your imagination. It was the wind! you told yourself. Just your silly pregnancy hormones playing tricks on you. The wind pushed it open, you idiot.

Softly, you pulled the door further open and called out. “Hello?”

Whoever it had been, you’d been too slow to catch them, but… You were convinced you had seen the edge of your husband’s coat swish around the corner at the end of the hall.

-------------

A/N: I really like that last line I spent a lot of time on it and I hope you like it because i think it’s neat!!!!! also the asterisks are a mark, as I’m currently adding stuff to that original space. it’s not going to change much of what’s already going on there, so not to worry, my dear beans !!

but poor reader!!!! pregnancy is terrifying (you can lose teeth and break your back!!! yikes!!) and she’s been doing it all alone!!!! but!!! you may notice that bits of this fic make references to this hc list from a while back. giorno picks up at scene 2 so hopefully that gives some insight to his very very cold behavior.

if you want to listen to Liszt’s Un Sospiro here are some of my most favorite interpretations of it (1 and 2 and 3) !!! it’s so beautiful and i hope you like it too !! mayhaps you can give it a listen when you read chapter 1 in its entirety!! the third link is handy if you want to see how the hand crossings look. it’s so complex but beautiful and it sounds so—and basdbkjjbkb i love classical music!!!

how was the food my children!!!! I hope it was to your liking !! :’)

#giorno giovanna x reader #my writing #fic: un sospiro #previews #fic:unsos

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gastricpierrot · 6 years

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A companion fic to @tim-drabble-vault‘s piece which can be read here! it’s probably better to read theirs first because they’re kinda in chronological order?? uh

also thanks aki, for enabling my inner satan.

Hide exhales, feeling a laugh bubble up his chest.

“What’s so funny?”

Kaneki asks as he leans a bit of his weight against him. He finds his hand by his side, clasping it tight. Warm. Fading.

“I feel like dancing,” Hide admits, shifting so that it doesn’t hurt quite so much. His aid is slightly damaged from all the shouting he'd done earlier, but oddly he sounds a bit more like he used to. Less mechanical, less tinny.

"Maybe later?" Kaneki suggests, sounding exhausted despite his amusement. Hide wonders when’s the last time he had a proper rest. He’s gone through the most out of all of them these past seven years, more than Hide knows he can ever imagine. But at least it’s over now. He—they can slack off to their hearts content now.

"Yeah, I don't think I can even stand up at the moment." Hide's laugh abruptly gets cut off by a wince. Kaneki doesn't say anything to that, only tightening his grip on his hand by a fraction more. Hide's eyelids start to feel frustratingly heavy; he chews his lip, blinks rapidly to keep them from closing.

"Just rest for now, Hide. We're both tired," Kaneki tells him, his shoulders sagging when he sighs deeply. Hide hums, tilting his head a little so it rests lightly against Kaneki's. He hears him take a breath.

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home. *

If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.

Kaneki's voice, despite its softness and the static of raindrops on the broken portion of roof above them, rings clear in Hide's ears. It quavers a bit from exertion, yet it's still beautiful. Nostalgic. Even more so with the song he sings; a song of childhood, comfort, companionship. Their song, a lullaby they've long claimed as their own.

If you ever find yourself lost and all alone,

Get back on your feet and think of me;

My love will get you home, boy,

My love will get you home.

Hide swallows once, clearing his throat before slowly singing along. It's scarcely as smooth as Kaneki's, his words coming out in a staccato of syllables. His tune is a little off too, but he can't seem to care. There's no more chances for him to care. Going off-key adds to the fun of it anyhow.

The weight of the blood and rain soaking through his shirt grows more and more prominent as the seconds pass. His clothes cling to his skin, making the breeze much colder than it should be. Hide gazes at the remains of the messy trail of blood leading to their spot; belonging to who, he can't quite remember. That's doesn't really matter, he supposes. They're both here, together—that's enough for him to know.

If the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home.

If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.

Ah, now he just sounds strange. Or maybe it's his ears acting up this time? He doesn't know. Kaneki still sounds okay, though? He doesn't want to stop singing. He can no longer keep his eyes from closing. Maybe just two minutes wouldn't hurt? Kaneki would understand, he's always the one tuning him out for those silly books. Then later he'd be shaking him, telling him not to fall asleep all over the place and to stop pulling those all-nighters playing games.

If you ever find yourself lost and all alone,

He'd still smile, though. Even while nagging him, he'd always fail to hide his smile.

Get back on your feet and think of me;

It's one of the many things Hide loves about him.

My love will get you home, boy,

Oh, hey. It's stop raining.

My love will get you h

"...ide! Hide, wake up!"

He blinks, completely disorientated for a moment. Then he registers the gloved hand patting his cheek, and swats it away. He's already grinning when he looks up.

"Don't give me that look," Kaneki tells him as he helps him on his feet, the amusement on his face not at all matching his tone. "Why didn't you use the spare key in the mailbox?"

He yawns, hugging his elbows when he feels a shiver shoot through him. Huh. Seems like it rained a bit. "Yeahhh—that's the one I forgot."

"You're hopeless." Kaneki shakes his head wearily as he unlocks their front door. He spots the slight upturn of his lips before he disappears inside. He bends to retrieve his bag and follows after him.

"Go warm yourself up; I'll get the bath ready." Kaneki drapes his coat over his shoulders before hurrying away. He feels ridiculous with all the layers, but at least it works. He tugs the coat a little tighter around himself with one hand, letting the remnants of Kaneki's heat seep into him. With the other, he sets about filling their kettle and plugging it into a socket.

The golden, evening light casts a gentle glow across their apartment. The sounds around him are familiar, yet somehow not. Ordinary, yet melancholic. He hears footsteps as Kaneki trudges out of the bathroom, sleeves pulled up to his elbows and hair slightly dishevelled—probably from leaning over the bathtub to get the taps running.

"What are you singing?" he asks, making his way over to where he's just lounging against the counter as the water boils.

He shrugs, arm easily finding its place around his waist and tugging him close. "I'm not sure. I heard it in a dream."

"What was it about?"

"Us."

"Hide, that's cheesy as hell."

"It's true though."

"Well I can't exactly argue with you on that, can I?"

Kaneki laughs; light-hearted, lovely.

His heart soars even before he leans in for a kiss, his chest aching with emotions he can't find names nor sources for. They swell and swell and swell and suddenly there are tears in his eyes and Kaneki's staring at him in surprise and concern but he's okay, he tells him because he is. They are. They are now.

"I'm home, Kaneki," he says, a bit out of the blue, he knows. Yet somehow, somehow it feels like it's all a dream come true and perhaps Kaneki understands that because he too, soon has tears staining his cheeks as he laughs with him at the sheer abruptness and ridicule of being this emotional at a simple everyday greeting. I'm home. Home to friendly bickers and gentle gazes and the scent of honey-milk soap, home to paperback novels and soft singing and fluttering kisses.

"Welcome home, Hide."

Home. They’re home, finally.

here’s the song if you missed the hyperlinked asterisk :D now please suffer with me

#hidekane #nagachika hideyoshi #kaneki ken #tokyo ghoul #more under cut #because man you do not want to be missing what's down there-#for what its worth i named this GUESS ILL DIE.docx #which to confirm #i did #this was a terrible idea #fanfiction

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the-sanders-sides · 7 years

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Stereotypical High School Movie AU - Chapter 3

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, swearing, mentions of a panic attack, mentions of a concussion, mentions of fights, mention of p*rn (message me if I forgot any)

A/n: hey, would ya look at that, i updated twice in a month. (I put an asterisk to censor the work p*rn in the story to make sure it wouldn’t get blocked in tumblr safe mode)

Shoutout to the lovely Rev (AKA @prinxietyhell) for helping me out by editing this chapter! Read it on Ao3. Read the other chapters. @soft-pastel-trash @darkness-anon

To avoid the roaches and not get beat up some more, Anxiety promptly turned on his heel and walked all the way across the school to the back exit. Once he left the school, he walked to Logan’s house. Anxiety didn’t even bother knocking on the front door, he just walked around to the side of the house where a window to Logan’s room was located and climbed into the room through the window. Logan had been sitting at a desk and was typing code, occasionally pausing to write things down when he couldn’t figure out what to type next. Anxiety stood behind where Logan was seated with his eyes downcast for a couple minutes. After realizing Logan was too immersed in what he was doing to have noticed Anxiety’s presence, Anxiety walked up to Logan, put a hand on his shoulder, and spoke.

“Hey, whatcha typing?”

“Holy shit!” Logan jumped up from his seat, clearly startled, “Warn me next time! Oh my god…” Anxiety grinned.

“Would ya look at that? You’re picking up some words from me.” Logan rolled his eyes and Anxiety, feigning shock, declared: “The prim Logan, swearing? I am appalled young man.”

“Anyway, what are you typing?”

“Remember this morning how I said I hacked into that roach’s laptop earlier today? I never actually did that, so after I was kicked out of the nurse’s office because apparently, I was ‘crowding you’ and that ‘wouldn’t help you’, which makes no sense, I hacked into the school’s wifi to get the roach’s IP address, and now I’m just double checking my code for sending a p*rn virus to his laptop.” Anxiety high-fived Logan.

“Firstly, you’re amazing and now you’re my hero for going through with that. Secondly, how are you? Are you alright? I heard you had a panic attack.”

“I’m fine now. I should be the one asking you if you’re okay.”

“I’m… I dunno if I'm alright. I might be concussed,” Anxiety said nonchalantly.

“Anxiety! You’ve got to go to a doctor or go to the hospital!”

“Well, you’re basically a doctor with all the medical stuff you know, so give me a diagnosis.” Logan glared at Anxiety, but decided that Anxiety getting help from Logan was better than Anxiety not getting any help at all, so Logan went along with it. Logan asked Anxiety some questions and Anxiety mentioned his headache. Logan eventually decided that Anxiety was okay, but told Anxiety to not try and fight for a week or two. That was also Logan’s way of protecting Anxiety, for Logan felt immensely guilty after Anxiety got hurt because it was originally Logan’s idea for Anxiety to learn to fight. Logan sent his hack to the roach’s computer, and Anxiety flopped on Logan’s bed.

“Roman’s an ass,” Anxiety said in a defeated tone.

“I know.”

“I don’t want to see a roach ever again,” Anxiety suddenly sat up, “Logan, how can I stomp out the roaches?”

“Well, you would need a giant shoe filled with weights to fall on them.” Anxiety rolled his eyes.

“Hey, that’s actually a good idea! We should totally do it!”

“That would kill them.”

“You need to learn what sarcasm means. And what figures of speech are. Stop taking me literally all the time. You know what I meant.” Now it was Logan’s turn to roll his eyes, but he nevertheless gave Anxiety the answer that he was looking for.

“Well, if we want to ‘stomp on the roaches’ we have to make them lose the power they have over us and others. People don’t want to get hurt by the roaches so they uncomfortably watch as anyone who dares to get in their way gets pummeled and humiliated. We need to dismantle that fear. We also need to give them some payback. Preferably, anonymous payback, so we don’t get suspended or expelled.”

“You know I’m down for this, but what’s your reason for doing the payback? It doesn’t exactly have a… point in the plan, and if I know you, you don’t do things without a reason.” Logan smirked.

“Oh… it’s just for fun.”

A/n: While I was writing this chapter, I realized how if someone has a concussion, you can't let them sleep, so it would've been pretty irresponsible for that nurse to let him stay passed out and then afterwards tell him to go the hospital, but *sigh* oh well. tbh idk if i wrote the hacking bit right, bc i know how to code but not how to hack

#fic #mine #sanders sides #hsau #logic sanders #logan sanders #anxiety sanders #roman sanders #prince sanders #my fic

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brido · 5 years

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Mike Bridenstine’s Fake 2019 Baseball Hall of Fame Ballot

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas is fine. But it’s also time for me to argue with everyone about who should get into baseball Hall of Fame. I did this last year and two of my friends essentially called me a coward for avoiding the Barry Bonds/Roger Clemens issue altogether. Fine. I’m going to open with them this year. And you might not like what I say about it. This year, I went off of Jay Jaffe’s JAWS ranking. I also used Bill James’ ‘Keltner List’ as a guide, I referenced Jaffe’s Cooperstown Casebook because I am a fucking dork, and the stats come from Baseball Reference and FanGraphs. Actually, whenever I’m looking at Baseball Reference or Fan Graphs, my wife laughs at me and tells me I’m looking at porn. Like what you like, everyone. Oh, and I also skimmed everyone’s Wikipedia pages to see if I forgot anything. Okay. With that self-deprecation and basement-level nerdy-ness out of the way, let’s get started. I’ll follow the BBWAA rules and only pick 10.

Barry Bonds

I’m so sick of having this argument. Aren’t you? Barry Bonds might be the single greatest baseball player of all time. His 164.4 career WAR is second only to Babe Ruth, who played in a pre-integrated era when the pitchers were trolly hobos and nobody ever went west of St. Louis. Bonds’ (alleged, but let’s not kid ourselves) steroid era numbers would look like typos, even in a video game. Just for fun, look at his age 42 season in 2007. His OPS+ was 169, which is basically what Christian Yelich and JD Martinez did this year. Then nobody signed Bonds in 2008, even though he offered to play for the league minimum. Riiiiight.

Here’s another fun fact, if Bonds had retired after the 1998 season (before… you know) he’d still have 3 MVP awards, over 400 career home runs and a JAWS ranking (an average of career bWAR and a player’s 7 best WAR seasons) that would make him the 3rd-greatest left fielder of all-time after Ted Williams and Rickey Henderson. Sometimes steroids turned nobody’s into superstars. Sometimes the guy who was already the best player in baseball gets pissed about the attention those lesser players are getting, decides to take steroids himself to spite everyone and turns into an unstoppable monster person that makes a multi-billion dollar league have to (allegedly, but let’s not kid ourselves) collude so that he doesn’t Hulk-smash every hitting record in Major League history they’d ever come up with.

I guess I don’t understand who his election would be hurting - the fans for making us all look like idiots? We should be over that by now. And we’re probably better for it. Joe Morgan? Who gives a shit? Unless someone could give me indisputable proof that both Willie Mays and Hank Aaron were against Bonds’ induction, then I don’t want to hear it. And Mays just gave an endorsement speech at Bonds’ number retiring ceremony in San Francisco back in August, so that kind of settles that. If you’re bent out of shape about steroids, elect the skinny guy from the Pirates and the Candlestick Park Giants. Because that guy still deserves to get in. Pretend he’s the guy on the plaque. Put an asterisk on it. Put 762 asterisks on it. I don’t care. It’s 2018. Bonds’ lack of inclusion in Cooperstown draws more attention to the steroid era than anything else in the minds of fans. You should have spoken up in 1998 if you’re still gonna throw a shit-fit 20 years after the fact. And maybe that was the entirety of Bonds’ point the whole goddamn time. Free Barry Bonds.

YES (1/10)

Roger Clemens

Am I going to make the same argument for Clemens, who is the all-time leader in pitchers’ WAR? Yeah, but it’s honestly not as fun. He’s a pitcher. And I think about Bonds more than I think about Clemens because the Rocket didn’t break any sanctified records from the annals of baseball history. He didn’t win 512 games. He didn’t strike out 5,715 batters. He just won 7 Cy Young Awards, 7 ERA titles, 5 strikeout titles and won 354 career games. He gets lumped in with Bonds because they were both too good at taking steroids. I mean, there is the fact that Clemens has two 20 strikeout games. He also has the greatest postseason pitching performance of all time. Nobody really talks about that, but it’s true. Go look at Game 4 of the 2000 ALCS against the Seattle. 9 innings pitched. 1 hit. 2 walks. No runs. 15 K’s. 98 GameScore. With Alex Rodriguez, Edgar Martinez and John Olerud on those Mariners. But these are the type of things we can celebrate when we just get over ourselves. He was the greatest pitcher of all time. Free Roger Clemens.

YES (2/10)

Curt Schilling

Boy, these first three make this a lot less fun. To be completely honest, that’s a Cooperstown speech everyone can do without. Schilling is a fucking asshole. But he’s the 5th-best pitcher of his own era, behind Clemens, Greg Maddux, Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez. JAWS ranks him as the 27th-greatest pitcher of all-time. His strikeout-to-walk ratio is the best ever, except for Tommy Bond (who pitched from 1874-1884) and current stars like Chris Sale, Corey Kluber and Stephen Strasburg who haven’t pitched half as long. On top of that, Schilling and his bloody sock are the greatest postseason pitcher of his generation. If the sportswriters want to keep him out because of his disgusting anti-journalist, far right posts on social media, that’s their right. As a human being, he’s pure trash. As a player, he’s in.

YUCK. BUT YES (3/10)

Mike Mussina

Okay, our first good person. I think. What’s hurting Mussina’s candidacy is a lack of marquee accomplishments (Cy Youngs, 300 wins, World Series rings), but he did finish in the top 5 in Cy Young balloting six different times. And he absolutely should have won it in 2001. Mussina has similar career numbers to Juan Marichal, Jim Palmer and Carl Hubbell (as well as Curt Schilling). He’s the 28th-best pitcher of all time, according to JAWS (behind Roger Clemens, Jim McCormick and Schilling). And I’d say for his own playing era (1991-2008), he’s the 5th-best pitcher behind Randy Johnson, Greg Maddux, Clemens and Pedro Martinez. He even won seven Gold Gloves as a pitcher. Yes, his 3.68 ERA is a little high. But he played in the AL East during the steroid ERA (123 ERA+), so he actually had top 5 finishes 7 times and top 10 finishes 4 other seasons.

In Mussina’s final season in 2008, he won 20 games for the first time in his career. Three other pitchers have won 20 or more games in their final season. One was Sandy Koufax, whose arm fell off after 1966. The other two were on the Black Sox.

YES (4/10)

Larry Walker

Walker was the best right fielder in baseball during his career. He’s the 10th-best right fielder of all time, according to JAWS. And he’s the best right fielder still not in the Hall. During his own career, Walker is the 5th-highest in WAR after Barry Bonds, Ken Griffey Jr., Jeff Bagwell and Alex Rodriguez. His career stats (383 HR. 2160 H. .313 AVG) are similar to Duke Snider, Joe DiMaggio, Johnny Mize, Chuck Klein and Vladimir Guerrero. He won 3 batting titles. And he won the N.L. MVP in 1997.

The arguments against Walker are probably the home-road splits in the thin air of Denver (more on this later) and a relatively injury-shortened career. I guess the best answer to the Coors Field question is Walker’s 141 OPS+, which adjusts for ballpark and era, and that lands him as the 8th-best right fielder of all time. He was also a five-tool player with seven Gold Gloves and was also considered an exceptional baserunner. So he didn’t hit .381 with a 1.172 OPS on the road. If he did we wouldn’t even be having this debate, we’d be naming the fucking Hall of Fame after him.

YES (5/10)

Roy Halladay

I’m curious to see how Halladay’s recent death affects his vote in his first year of eligibility. Especially since I’d place him behind Clemens, Schilling and Mussina due to his JAWS ranking. But Halladay also might have the benefit of sticking out more in his own era, where he was the second-best pitcher over that time period (1998-2013) after Randy Johnson (who retired in 2009, Jesus Christ).

Halladay was the best pitcher on the Blue Jays in 2002 and 2003, as well as from 2006-2009. And he was the ace of the Phillies in 2010 and 2011. He was probably the 3rd-best American League pitcher (1998-2009) after Mussina and Pedro Martinez during his time there. But I’d give him the best overall AL pitcher in 2008. He was 5th overall in the National League from 2010-2013, although he was probably the best in the league in 2010 and 2011. And I’d say he was the best pitcher in baseball in 2011.

Halladay won Cy Young Awards in both leagues (2003 and 2010). Which also gives him an edge on Schilling and Mussina, who never won the award. His career stats (203 wins, 3.38 ERA, 131 ERA+) aren’t that comparable to other Hall of Fame pitchers, other than Dazzy Vance. But they do look a lot like those of Justin Verlander and Zack Greinke, who I think will get a lot of backing.

The thing that might put a semi-borderline career over the top is the fact that Halladay threw a no-hitter in the first postseason start of his career in 2010 (94 GameScore - tied for the 5th-greatest postseason game ever). It was the first postseason no-no Since Don Larsen’s perfect game in 1956 (which also had a 94 GameScore). And that was on top of a perfect game Halladay had thrown earlier in the season (98 GameScore, since we’re doing this). All of which made him the first pitcher since Nolan Ryan in 1973 to throw two no hitters in a season.

Halladay has a Hall of Fame peak. And since everyone seems to consider Clayton Kershaw to be a no-brainer 1st ballot Hall of Fame pitcher, I’d like to point out that Halladay’s WAR7 is slightly higher than Kershaw’s. And they almost have identical career WARs through Kershaw’s age-30 season. During his prime (2002-2011), Halladay was by far the best pitcher in baseball. And as the best pitcher of his generation, I think he should get in.

YES (6/10)

Scott Rolen

I had a real hard time with Rolen last year. The knock against him is that he was only the best player on his own team a few times, he was only the best third baseman a couple of times. His career offensive numbers are good, but not great. And he was never really an MVP candidate. He looks more like a Matt Holliday/Paul O’Neil type in the career numbers than he did the very best third basemen of his era, Alex Rodriguez and Chipper Jones.

On the flip side of that, Rolen is also one of the 3-5 best defensive third basemen of all time. So combined with his good offensive numbers, his career WAR and his peak WAR say he’s a Hall of Famer. JAWS ranks him as the 10th-greatest third baseman of all time, ahead of Edgar Martinez (who is majorly docked by WAR formulas because he DH’d). And his 56.9 JAWS puts him in the range of Jim Thome, Miguel Cabrera, Ryne Sandberg, Chase Utley, Jackie Robinson, Paul Molitor, Barry Larkin, Derek Jeter, Alan Trammell, Carlos Beltran and Shoeless Joe Jackson. It’s not sexy, but he deserves to get in.

YES (7/10)

Edgar Martinez

Don’t get me started about how fucking stupid it is that everyone considers Mariano Rivera a no-brainer, 1st ballot guy and then dismiss Edgar for 10 years because he was a DH. Even with Ken Griffey Jr. and Alex Rodriguez on his team, Martinez led the Mariners in WAR four different times. And I already told you he got docked by the WAR formula for not playing in the field. That’s nuts. He won two batting titles. I would have given him the AL MVP in 1995. Major League Baseball’s DH award is named after him. He’s above Hall of Fame standards for JAWS at third base. He has a higher OPS+ and JAWS number than David Ortiz, who everyone declared the greatest DH of all time a few seasons ago. Pedro Martinez, Randy Johnson and (yes) Mariano Rivera have all said he was the toughest batter they ever faced. And his ALDS performance against the Yankees in 1995, including “The Double”- one of the most famous base hits of all time - was arguably the catalyst to funding Safeco Field and/or possibly saving baseball in the city of Seattle. And he did all that with some kind of crazy depth perception disorder and he didn’t even play his first full season until he was 27. He’ll probably get in this year, but I just wanted to shame the voters for making him wait this long.

YES (8/10)

Manny Ramirez

If you’re a stats-only voter, the answer is yes. He was an historically amazeballs hitter and he was pretty much horrible at everything else. I stop my consideration at the two PED suspensions. That’s enough for me to shuffle him to the bottom of the deck and see if there’s two more players who are worthy that didn’t get caught with female fertility drugs, or whatever.

Andruw Jones

He’s the greatest defensive center fielder of all time and has 10 consecutive Gold Gloves to show for it. While still managing to hit 434 career home runs, including a home run and RBI crown in 2005. During that long Braves run of postseasons, Andruw Jones actually edges out Chipper Jones in WAR while they were both on the roster (1996-2007). And JAWS ranks him as the 11th-greatest center fielder of all time, but three wins below Hall of Fame standards, although he did have a Hall of Fame peak. So why am I on the fence?

Jones was hitting home runs in the World Series at 19. He was considered fat, washed-up and lazy by the time he was 30. That’s not really helping his cause. And while 10 Gold Gloves is amazing, Keith Hernandez and Omar Vizquel both have 11 and they’re not in the Hall of Fame either. The .254 batting average and sub-2,000 hits (1,933) are probably hurting him more than anything. But all of that would be moot if he hadn’t pulled a Reverse Koufax and turned into a pumpkin after his 30th birthday.

When you add up the offensive numbers, the most similar players are Dale Murphy, Jose Canseco, Joe Carter and Jim Edmonds. That’s as iffy as it gets. But the JAWS total (54.7) puts him in the range of Pudge Rodriguez, Willie McCovey, Roberto Alomar, Tim Raines and Tony Gwynn. I’m gonna have to plug my ears, close my eyes and say, “10 Gold Gloves, 400 home runs, best position player on the Braves Dynasty,” and call it a day.

YES (9/10)

Todd Helton

No one who has ever played for the Rockies is in the Hall of Fame. None. Not Larry Walker. Not Andres Galarraga. Not Dante Bichette. Not Ellis Burks. Nobody. That’s weird, right? The franchise has been around for 25 years, but home/road splits and the city’s thin air means that the great American city of Denver is where Hall of Fame careers go to die.

Walker’s career splits (381/462/710 in Denver vs. 282/372/501 on the road) might be slightly more severe than Todd Helton’s (345/441/607 at home vs. 287/386/469 on the road), but Walker played the entirety of his 17-year career with the Rox. So nobody in the history of baseball has had better home conditions throughout their career than Helton. So when we look at Helton’s accomplishments, all of that has to be taken into heavy consideration.

Helton won 3 Gold Gloves, he won a batting title (and a slash line Triple Crown) in 2000. I actually think he should have on the N.L. MVP that year. He was the best player on the Rockies every year from 1998-2003. He’s also the best player in their franchise history. He was the best first baseman in baseball in 2000, 2001 and 2002. But for his career era, he falls to third behind Albert Pujols and Miguel Cabrera. Helton wasn’t a serious MVP candidate, other than 2000. He only played in two postseasons. And his 133 OPS+ would only rank him #50 all-time out of first basemen.

Let me pause here and say again just how weird it is that not one Hall of Fame player has ever played for the Rockies. Figuring that out bothered me so much that I decided to look to see where all the Hall of Famers who played between 1993 and 2012 (the first year of eligibility last year) played, and every single franchise except for the Rockies and the Pirates have had Hall of Famers grace their diamonds during that period. That’s not weird to you? Even the Rays had Wade Boggs. The Nationals had Pudge Rodriguez. The Royals had George Brett in his final season. The Giants had Randy Johnson in his final season… which combined with the Pirates omission should be another reason to induct Bonds. But obviously there are Pirates in the Hall of Fame. Fathers and grandfathers can bring their kids to Cooperstown and tell them stories about Willie Stargell or Roberto Clemente. Honus Wagner is displayed prominently as a member fo the First Class in 1936. People from Colorado have to go there, point to the plaques of Goose Gossage and probably Roy Halladay and say, “It’s a good thing they left town, son.”

Helton is the 15th-greatest 1st baseman of all time. His peak is 10th all-time, ahead of several Hall of Fame first basemen. His career stats are similar to Jeff Bagwell, Miguel Cabrera, Edgar Martinez, Vladimir Guerrero, Walker, Jim Rice and Fred McGriff. And if you don’t put Walker and/or Helton in, you’re either saying that no Rockies can ever be in the Hall of Fame, or you’re saying that you either want these guys to suck at home or be Babe Ruth/Ted Williams/Lou Gehrig/Barry Bonds/Jimmie Foxx on the road. Free the Rockies.

YES (10/10)

Well. That’s 10. My apologies to Manny Ramirez, Sammy Sosa, Gary Sheffield, Andy Pettitte, Lance Berkman, Jeff Kent, Roy Oswalt, Fred McGriff, Mariano Rivera, Miguel Tejada, Placido Polanco, Omar Vizquel, Kevin Youkilis, Derek Lowe, Freddy Garcia, Vernon Wells, Ted Lily, Travis Hafner, Jason Bay, Billy Wagner, Michael Young, Jon Garland, Darren Oliver, Juan Pierre and Rick Ankiel.

I’ve defended Sammy Sosa here. I’ve bashed Mariano Rivera here. I think the 10-maximum rule is stupid, since I would have voted for more than 10 players on this year’s ballot. Including Fred McGriff on his final ballot. But I had to prioritize somehow and I went with JAWS.

Okay. That’s my pretend ballot. Argue with me.

#cooperstown #hall of fame #bonds #clemens #roy halladay #mussina #walker #rockies #helton #rolen #edgar #andruw

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opepin · 7 years

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may: week one

01: it was an interesting morning. i worked out in the yoga studio today because hillary and daniel were sleeping in the living area. i finished my hip hop cardio and when i started my hiit workout, a lady came in to spin and she just watched me suffer LOL. i made it though! then i showered and started my work day. i just needed to mentally prepare myself and write some notes to prepare myself for my customer call. phil was not going to be on it so i was pretty much solo. i think i did alright though. hillary and daniel packed and left before my call and then later, hillary told me that they missed their flight because spirit moved up the flight time and they had to catch tomorrow’s -__-” wtf spirit? i started doing laundry so it’s a good thing i didn’t wash their towels yet! i did start washing the bedsheets and pillowcases though. meh. haha. i think they can sleep with the sofa pillows and without the sheet for one night, right? x__x;

my day was very chill and when they came back, daniel and hillary took my car to fat cat and i got on my standup. they left me some cajun fries, which were sooo delicious. i snacked and talked to hillary while daniel fell asleep on the couch. hillary eventually fell asleep and then i went back to work. kevin came back and then we talked a bit before daniel and hillary woke up. daniel took like a 3 hour nap. damn. bae and i went to the yoga studio and she did cardio kickboxing with me. right after the workout, she downed a ton of water O_O” haha. kevin was cooking oyakodon at this time while daniel was watching dota streams in the apartment. we came back, ate, chatted, and then hillary and daniel did dishes while me and kevin went back on our computers. he gamed and i did a bit of work before showering, making the bed together, and me sleeping at around 11 pm. zzzzz. it was a nice chill day with the bae and phanpy :)))

02: i took it “easy” and did very little jumping during my morning exercise. then i washed up, ate breakfast, and said good bye to hillary and daniel! :) they were awake but still a little sleepy haha. i sat at john’s desk for the morning and was anxious to see when he would come in and felt a tad bit bad that he had to sit at my desk for a bit. i happened to be in a call when he came in and needed to talk to steve. x__X; we went to tenoch and i got a pollo torta. it was better than last time so i think tenoch is a bit better than i had initially thought. steve and haowei really liked it. i was very productive today and cole helped me set up actions in photoshop to fix something very tedious that i had to do. it was luls seeing him use photoshop though. i finished all of my work at around 4:40 pm and then took it easy until 5 pm. i walked to cvs with cole on the way to south station and i introduced him to all-dressed ruffles! apparently, they are a flavor in the east coast that’s here to stay ahha. he really liked them. boo yah!

i took the train home and then ate fruit and decided to gorge myself on snyder’s honey mustard pretzel pieces T_T it was a terrible choice because i ended up with a stomach ache and it was a bit harder to do my ab workout. i showered and then i made dinner. kevin came back, i played some bravely default and finished the episode of reign i watched while daniel and hillary were here, he cooked some veggies, and then we ate dinner without watching tv. it’s been an eventful weekend and start of the week so we needed to reset a bit. it was a fun weekend though with bae and phanpy <3 kevin gamed and i went to sleep at around 11:30 pm. i wasn’t sure if i was going to work from home -- my heart rate has increased these past few days so i might be a bit sick or getting sick? or maybe i’m stressed? i think the true cause is that i’ve been working out a bit too much with not enough rest. so it’s a toss up of whether or not i’m gonna feel up to it in the morning.

03: it was such a nice morning T_T the weather seemed great outside but my body was super sore and my stomach was not feeling too hot. i decided to work from home. i also skipped on my morning workout because everything was sore basically. i’m taking it sort of easy today in terms of working out. i started my morning by watching the latest episode of jane the virgin and then woke up kevin. then he left for work and i did some work~ i spent the day moving around and splitting my 30 minute workout that i was supposed to have in the morning, into 15 minute sessions. it was a pretty chill day again because i’m kind of in between projects but a lot of new things are gonna happen for me in design mainly so i’m excited about that. i did a 25 minute dance routine to keep my exercise pretty light today and then showered and made rice and defrosted shrimp. when kevin came back from work, we went outside to chill in the courtyard. i played bravely default and he read a book on his kindle. it got chilly so we went back inside after finishing the grapes we brought out with us.

then we chilled some more and kevin started cooking. i grinded so hard today. i’m now level 84 and i bought the golden egg and golden whatever it was so i get more job points and exp. we ate dinner while watching some gordon ramsey videos and then we basically wrestled for a bit because he said i made too little rice and was complaining about it and i said he eats too much and then he said i was trying to starve him LOLOL. i got real worked up and then calmed down, gamed, got ready for bed, and went to sleep at around 11 pm. zzzz.

04: i woke up pretty tired today but i did my workout and i wasn’t exhausted from it like i usually am? woot for progress! the video that i followed was one of the ones i had to pause at 3 sets and then continue with the last one, but now i can do it all in one go! after that, i showered, ate cereal and toast and then went on my way to work. i felt pretty dead though so i don’t know if it’s still because i’m not resting? or if it’s something else??? i haven’t been sleeping well again... even though i’m sleeping earlier, waking up earlier, exercising earlier, etc. @_@; it might be kevin’s gaming that’s disturbing my sleep now or maybe i should stop going on my phone right before bed...ahhh, i don’t know -- i’ll test it out. sigh. i thought this was going to be better; i mean, it is in a way but i want this to help balance my life out.

the day was pretty busy and i got a headache because of the new project i’m working on. i forgot how tedious it is to sort through a bunch of unorganized data... well, kind of organized but not organized on a super clean level. i had a bunch of mini chats with mathew about both of our projects -- we helped each other out. i took a walk after eating lunch and then went back to work. cole had to vent a bit so when he was done with his last meeting of the day, we headed to starbucks and he vented and got a venti chai, which he demolished even before we got back to the office o_o he also kindly got me the honey chocolate that’s in starbucks right now. i’m so glad i have a friend like cole :D we finished up the bit of work we had and then headed to south station and took our trains home. i snacked a bit and then did my workout. i also prepped ingredients for dinner and then kevin messaged me saying that he didn’t know his belay class would be so long. so he got back late and i just ate bread for “dinner.” i ended up eating the stir fried noodles anyway but not as late because i wanted to see if that was bothering my sleep. i slept at around 12 am because i was going to wfh tomorrow and i just gamed before sleeping.

05: i was very all over the place today. i managed to do my hiit workout in the morning and then work on my new project the entire day. i took a lot of breaks though to move around, game, and also read! i got my botm in the mail and just started reading it like crazy. now i have a game and a book to read :) my stomach was also just all over the place because i kept feeling nauseous and then gassy and then hungry and the cycle kept repeating. merp i don’t know what’s wrong?! i need to get more fruit for the upcoming week though haha. kevin got back home and we just cuddled and rested after a long week of work. then i did a new 30 minute work out and found out during the workout that one move just hurts my hip like crazy. i don’t know if i like this new video. then i showered while kevin cooked and we had a pretty late dinner while watching supernatural. the characters in supernatural are pissing me off now. @_@; we did a good amount of reading and then gamed for the rest of the night.

06: we got out of bed around 11 am and then i went straight to kickboxing. i was sore from yesterday so i didn’t do my best at it but still got it done ;) then we ate breakfast and chilled for a bit until it was time to get our massages! i got a great deep tissue massage focusing on my legs and then a bit on my back. then we went into the steam room for the first time to try it out! it was basically a shower room with a steam system built in and it was super foggy when we got in. o__o; the temperature rose from 80 to 105 before we rq’d. after getting out of there, we felt so relaxed and refreshed though. we also showered because we thought it would be a bit gross to steam and then leave rather than utilize the shower there too haha. we got boba from oh my tea after; i got the jujube tea and kevin got the mango smoothie! the mango smoothie was the best mango smoothie we’ve ever had... so good. we came back home and chilled. i gamed for a bit; i’m finally getting the vampire asterisk! then i finished reading my book of the month, ‘since we fell’ (it was aiight), and then we took the ‘t’ to back bay to meet up with jenny and her friends.

i met jenny’s friends: effie and monica, and kevin and jenny’s mutual friend from northwestern, derrick. we had to wait 45 minutes get seats at a restaurant called, ‘the salty pig’ so we just talked inside a mall. the service at the restaurant was below average and the wait for the food was too long and not worth it. the food portions were TINY as well. i was excited for their gnocchi but it was super mushy and too sweet. we won’t be coming back here. after dinner, we walked over to ‘the beehive’, a jazz bar/restaurant. there were no available seats and everyone was pretty tired. we did stay there until 12 am though and near the end, we managed to get seats. kevin got poutine and ate at the bar counter while standing lulz. we just talked and then we walked effie and jenny back to effie’s apartment and then derrick went the opposite way to get his bike, and kevin and i took the ‘t’ back home. i drank a pimm’s cup at dinner and by the time we got home, my stomach hurt (it could have also been some of the cheese i ate) and i had a pinching headache. kevin started meal planning with me and i just had to ko on the bed after using the bathroom x_x; i woke up at 2 am, brushed my teeth, and went back to sleep. kevin was finishing up a game and went to sleep at around that time as well.

07: i woke up feeling a lot better! my back was sore from the massage but that means she worked her magic on it. we got out of bed at 10 am. i went to shower, kevin ate breakfast, i ate cereal, started reading ‘ready player one’ while kevin used the washroom, and then we headed to kam man, lucky fortune, and bj’s. apparently, all the produce was fresher this time (maybe because we went there early). then we went to get asian buns from the bakery at lucky fortune as well as some red plums. we stopped by bj’s to get english muffins and then unpacked everything, filled water bottles, and headed out. we stopped by a mcdonald’s because we were craving it. i got 4-pc chicken mcnuggets and an order of small fries and kevin got a mcdouble and mcchicken. both were mcpick 2′s so everything was just $5. <3333 we ate as kevin drove to the hammond pond reservation to meet up with matt and megan (sp?). the boys were outdoor climbing today and we came along to watch, enjoy nature, and take pictures of them ;P

megan used her cool lens attachments for her iphone to take pictures and they were so high quality! it got super chilly but i took a short walk around the place. the reservation is right next to a large movie theater and strip mall so the views weren’t all that great / no hiking trails were defined. i had to pee when we got there but kevin and i got there late so we felt bad for making them wait T_T nearing the end of the climb, i could not hold it in any longer. walking to the car made me want to pee my pants and i felt like i had super bad cramps. kevin rushed to say goodbye to them and then hurriedly drove me over to the strip mall and went outside to ask if there were restrooms i could use. we stopped at a cupcake shop and when i went in, the cashier said someone was in there -__-” then kevin went to the place next door and luckily, no one was in there and i got to finally pee. tmi, but i literally had so much pee, i had to like push it all out @_@ LOL anyway, kevin used the restroom as well and then we drove back home. kevin went to shower and i just chilled, snacked on some snyder’s, and continued reading ‘ready player one.’ then i did laundry and continued reading the book and playing games. the book is really interesting to me so far. it’s very sao-eqsue and log horizon-esque... oh and dot hack-esque ahah.

kevin cooked and i was about to clean the bathroom, but i was talking to winston about staying over at his place when we head to new york for my birthday. winston initiated a video chat with us so we got to catch up :) kevin was still cooking but it was nice to hear from winston <3 we talked while we ate dinner and then winston went back to reading and doing his thang. kevin washed dishes and i folded clothes and then we booked our amtrak tickets (omg thank you, effie for all the tips and tricks for going to ny for cheap!!!) and then i started looking for a hotel (we decided with winston’s encouragement to get a hotel instead) and then i got tired and i went to bed at around 12 am.

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