#oh Greenpeace girl has a name now!!

[trophywifejimgordon]

ehhhhh tomgreg under the cut

state of tomgreg. ok. ok. tom has feelings for greg, and i think he pretty much understands them as unrequited. it’s like, greg is happier than him AND happier without him. and greg has seen (and sort of taken advantage of!) a shift in their relationship, too... tom tipped his hand, as it were, talking about nero and sporus, and now greg is kind of starting to realize where they stand. that he has influence over tom. that tom will even go against his own self-interest for him, if he flashes puppy eyes! and because he’s still just cousin greg, he doesn’t know quite what he’s supposed to do with that, doesn’t drive in the knife the way shiv, for instance, or any of her brothers might. but (!!) he’s always been a little bit of a schemer, and that’s lurking in the back of his mind, so where it was once that tom had greg as the one person in his circle whom he had power over, now the dynamic is shifting, and greg is starting to realize that tom is the one person in his circle that he has power over. and this comes at sort of a big time for greg, who is busy actualizing a worse version of himself, w/ ewan and greenpeace and shifting loyalties. meanwhile, tom is totally going to get divorced. and so.

right off from that episode (3x7), i think greg is confused. he had the massive (if happy) outburst of tom’s violence to remind him exactly what kind of weird, off-putting dude tom has been to him since day one, but right after, he gets a soft, genuine forehead kiss. (remember, this to the same greg who got a haircut he didn’t need just to have someone touch his head). his response to that is kind of all over the place. they’re at a fork in their dynamic; nero and sporus. greg refusing to cockfight in his office after to relieve the perceived tension, greg asking tom to eat his sins at the diner and tom refusing to play into greg’s quid-pro-quo. in a very real way, they’re in uncharted territory. free men, both from the looming threat of jail and, just a little bit, from the chains forged into their dynamic from the first episode. i’m not sure if greg 100% understands that tom is in love with him, but the kiss was, imo, enough for him to get some serious wires crossed. this leads naturally into both “prove it!” and the flirtations with comfry. greg has sort of a new interest, a new energy for tom, and yet, he’s also panicking and backpedaling, pursuing a girl with renewed vigor because she’s shown some interest in him that wasn’t tomlike and violent, and she’s pretty, and he’s totally straight. that’s a normal thing to do. not to mention the added appeal of it being forbidden by kendall, giving the affair the new dimension of taking the piss out of the roys, whom greg has been humiliated by...

so, who knows? there’s something and there’s nothing. greg’s intrigued (despite himself) and he’s ignoring it (unconsciously). tom wants what he can’t have and he doesn’t even know why he’s sad. repression wins the day. now what?

from where i’m sitting, i think everyone is waiting for the other shoe to drop. for tom to put a legitimate name to his feelings. until he outlines them in real words, greg can (and will) go on ignoring what’s right in front of his face, and tom can keep living this same lie that he’s been living with shiv. even this whole thing with comfry kind of feels like a prod, part of the dare: maybe greg wants tom to be angry about it. maybe he’s waiting, with dread shot through with shameful anticipation, for tom to ruin this for him, because he’s learned in the last year or so of his life the perils of trying to have anything good that’s all for him, especially when it directly excludes tom. tom’s flat out told him that he resents greg’s happiness, and here’s greg, waving it around like a banner, a taunt: oh, i hope no one tries to take this from me...

and he could! he could. early on in their relationship, tom definitely would. but, since this new turn in their dynamic is all about them subverting their old shit, i’m thinking: what if he doesn’t? what if he just never does?

greg, tired of waiting for that other shoe, finally confronts tom, i think. he’s a little pissed off despite himself--like, hasn’t tom noticed? what’s taking him so long? obviously he doesn’t want tom to ruin it, but he’s going to, so what’s the holdup? and tom... actually, i’d be kind of interested in a (completely hypocritical, natch) “reason you suck” speech. tom sort of tearing greg a new one about his integration into the roy family, about how once they were both outsides, and now it’s just tom. how greg and his plots and his legal action and that thing with the nazis and this new side of him going on dates is unrecognizable from the kid who showed up asking for a job. and yet--tom is in love with him. it’s a love confession. it’s a love confession that greg either rejects (in a fumbling, greggy way) or that tom rejects for him, but either way, it’s another raw breakup. somewhere around the same time, tom is served shiv’s divorce papers (or vice-versa), and that’s that. 

timeskip. a year, a few months. tom and greg are back in each others’ orbits (or maybe, in some awful, festering, never-let-the-wound-heal way, they never fully left), but it’s definitely different. maybe greg is still going out with comfry. maybe he’s long past. tom, notably, is out--he’s dating men, maybe even getting together with some particular man, and he’s happy.

and greg fucking hates it. THAT’S what i’m holding out for, the complete 180. finally, tom is taking joy in some totally normal, relatively “healthy” relationship outside of the roy family, and greg, who has his own concerns and his own life, like, entirely, cannot fucking stand it. he hates this guy tom likes. he mocks him in as roylike a way he can get away with underneath his fundamental gregitude. honestly, he steps up to the active sabotage of tom’s relationship, all without realizing what the fuck he’s doing or--more to the point--why. 

and when it works, when tom’s left with nothing but greg again (without ever actually having greg), he’s just like... why? why can’t i be happy, greg? and greg’s left stuttering to say... because it was me? you said it was me. because you planted an idea in my head and now i’m twisted up about it. because you brought me down with you, so you certainly don’t get to walk away.

and there’s a moment where it clicks--that they’ve officially made each other worse people than when they started, and now there’s no way out. so okay, greg, you’ve tanked my last chance at a normal relationship, come collect the pathetic fruits of your labor. right, tom, you planted this idea in my head when you told me you wanted me, now come reap what you’ve sewn. 

family gatherings, needless to say, get unbearable. 

#full disclosure i wrote this out after 3x7 and i no longer fully endorse it #but it's just been sitting in my drafts and i still stand by more of it than i dismiss #and. i want this ending. toxic tomgreg RIGHTS. #succession #tomgreg #text post #tom wambsgans #greg hirsch #to be clear i'm posting this pretty much unedited/without updates to reflect my current position #but most of what changed for me came with greg's relationship with comfry NOT sticking for more than an episode? #which was honestly kind of a shock i did see them sticking it out for a while the ladder dating thing WAS a surprise #but i think that still fits. maybe even better #tom didn't ruin that one? okay let's try again. #because it's just... not about the girl. #the other thing i would like to clarify is that i don't actually think that greg is a worse person now than when they started #i feel like jesse armstrong's thing about people fundamentally not changing shows through #it's just that greg has different OPPORTUNITIES now from when he began. and different needs. but he's the same type of opportunIST. #tom however. i feel like the problem with tom's first confession is that he doesn't really see greg yet #or at least like. there's these rose tinted glasses because i DO think tom understands some of greg #so then when they finally DO get together it's a glasses OFF moment. twue love etc #meta

[hatchetfieldtheories]

Return to Hatchetfield-Town – The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals Part 1

Alright settle down kiddos. Get comfy, find a warm blanket and hug your favourite fwendy-wend as we start our Return to Hatchetfield-Town series.

I’ll be rewatching all the Hatchetfield scripted content (i.e. not livestreams or interviews) and jotting down what happens, explaining some concepts and delving into some of the key theories in the series (and using the word “implications” that often it will cease to have meaning).

Even though I’ll be doing the rewatch by show in order they came out, there will be spoilers for all Hatchetfield content that is available as of the rewatch.  

I’ve also linked to a number of other blog’s theories here because they are amazing, but if you aren’t happy with your theory being included I will be more than happy to remove it!  Just let me know.

[Part 2]

The Guy Who Really Hated Brigadoon

TGWDLM starts off with the greatest song ever to feature dancing zombies… at least I can’t think of any other notable ones.

In the title song, the cast of singing and dancing zombies explain to us that all great stories have to have a hero, someone who knows right and wrong and that the best way to do this is through singing and dancing in musicals.  This with the later line of “they evoke the philosophical” make me think that Pokey took a class in Campbell’s Hero Myth in College and became that guy.

Hatchetfield Challenge: try not to shrug your shoulders along with the music at the chorus. Its impossible. No wonder the Hive spread so quickly.  Literally killer dance moves.

So then they introduce us to an awful Grinch named Paul and we hit the first point in the show where I laugh out loud every single time I watch.

I know TGWDLM was not originally intended to be the first Hatchetfield show but starting this series with a song which sets up the story so well is truly spectacular.   And is there anything more Starkid than introducing your main character by having other characters sing about how awful they are?

One thing I have noticed while writing, reading and collating Hatchetfield theories is that while most Black Friday and Nightmare Time theories are usually about the overall Hatchetfield lore, most TGWDLM theories are usually quite self-contained and focused on this one show.  TGWDLM – while so fully within the Hatchetfield extended universe, is definitely the show that can best stand-alone without the others.

It’s the end of the world, Paul

If you don’t sing

This is the bridge, Paul

Where we globalize everything

And the words will come to you

We swear we will teach you

What it means to love

What it means to obey, Paul!

On a first watch this is very funny.  On your 10th watch this is terrifying.

CCRP Technical: No-one here knows how to use their printer

Following the absolute bop of a title song we find ourselves in CCRP Technical and all feels very… normal. It’s very weird following all the revelations in subsequent Hatchetfield media, to be watching a show where there was genuinely nothing obviously fishy about CCRP.  We’ll obviously discuss CCRP more when we get to Nightmare Time, but for now all we know is that Paul works in the technical department of CCRP – an unknown corporation, with some key characters, Charlotte, Bill and Ted.

We also find out more about Grinch Paul’s personality and honestly, Paul is me pre-pandemic just outright avoiding social interactions and suddenly going for coffee in the middle of the work day. (I have become a changed woman in lockdown – someone please invite me somewhere… anywhere!)

For all the dark humour and death in the Hatchetfield series, Starkid do know how to bring the joy – I love how excited the town of Hatchetfield are for a touring production of Mamma Mia.  

Fake Fact: TGWDLM is actually an allegory for Europe in the 1970s, when we all became mind-controlled by Abba’s Waterloo.  (Find me a better explanation for Eurovision, I dare you!  The sequins were just too shiny!)

“The idea of sitting there… trapped in a musical.  That is my own personal hell.”

Two words: Emma Perkins – need I explain any more?  

Ah Hot Chocolate Boy.  I really look forward to finding out more about him.  Where does he come from?  He just appears out of the ether. What’s his story?  How old is he? How many hot chocolates does he have per day? I know we have since had some confirmation on who he is, but they raise more questions than answers. For now I will just point you to a gorgeous Mood Board by @hatchetfieldmoodboards which features a bit of a spoiler. 

For real though – is it just me who would love a full version of “I’ve been brewing up your coffee”?

Hatchetfield Challenge: Try not to sing “Shut the f*ck up” along with Emma.

“Watching people sing and dance makes me very uncomfortable”- oh boy Paul… you’re not going to enjoy the next hour and 40 minutes.  Also, Paul, you’re making me uncomfortable watching you throw your brand new coffee around as if you’ve just been given an empty cup.  There’s imaginary coffee everywhere.  Hopefully, HCB won’t slip on it before it’s cleaned up… he’s already having a bad day.

“Thunder and Lightning… very very frightening.  But a big rock hurtling through the clouds is no biggie.” – all the residents of Hatchetfield apparently.

The next sequence happens so fast and we get introduced to a lot of characters.  Notably Greenpeace Girl, Alice and Deb, Sam, and Hidgens (though we don’t find out his name until much later). This scene impresses me because they do such a great job of very quickly bringing out so many characters who nonetheless are memorable when they return later in the show.

Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel is an Eldritch Being. I won’t go into Peanuts theories here as that could be a whole post in itself – and many a person more brilliant than I have written some fantastic theories on this. You can learn all about how a Squirrel took over the fandom in the following posts:

@dahlialupine : x

@frombothofmyhearts​: x

@abiimaryy​: x

And finally mine which is definitely a serious theory: x

It’s… A… Musical!

Now to remember we are actually watching a musical.  La Dee Da Da Day is such a happy joyful song performed spectacularly by a throng of the undead.

The song is about the Hive singing about how much of a great time they are having now they are tap-dancing zombies, and trying to find ways to convince Paul he should join them too. So the grins on all their faces are not at all terrifying.

 It’s worth noting also that according to the laws of the TGWDLM world, only those infected by the Hive can hear the music in the background.  This becomes important later when it becomes clear some characters have started being infected before they are fully turned into zombies, but for now it just paints quite a funny picture of what Paul must be witnessing. I definitely think for him, this whole scene just sounds like this clip of Greased Lightning without the music: x

The important thing here however, besides Mariah’s singing, is that the Hive leave Paul alone.  They don’t actually attempt to turn him at this point.  I have a theory on the implications of this, but note this has big spoilers for the end of the show and Black Friday.  It was written before we knew that the Hive (Pokey) was related to Wiggly but the content still stands: x

Charlotte, Honey, you don’t need that much sugar – you’re sweet enough

For reference:

@melchron​  noted that the lyrics for La Dee Dah sound very similar to the incantation for soul transferal read out in Jane’s a Car, which leads me to two possible implications.

The Freaky Furbies have a language other than English that they use for their incantations so this is why they sound similar.

There is soul transference happening to the souls of the bodies the Hive take over.

Or it’s just Starkid using similar sounding words for their content…. Three! There are three possible implications…

Paul – just print off another copy of the report

From this point on the musical numbers really do come thick and fast.  We move on to the first instance of Jeff Blim encouraging Paul to talk about his feelings, which I am sure is not important and isn’t worth discussing.  Paul goes through a musical rendition of a promotion interview, which is actually the Hive attempting to find out if he will be the “hero” of their story.  They picked out Paul for the role from the start. That he was chosen was inevitable.

What do you see for this company? I'm looking for someone with strong ambition Someone to sell their specific vision Someone to share with precise precision their thoughts 'Cause I want you to want…To want

So it turns out these will be looooong, so I will end here and see you in part 2!  I’m not sure yet what the upload frequency will be.  It takes quite a while to go through the show like this but it is a lot of fun!

Hatchetfield High Homework:

Where do you stand on the Peanuts the Hatchetfield Pocket Squirrel debate?

Why do you think that the Soul Transference Spell and La Dee Dah sound so similar?

Go follow all the lovely people mentioned in this post!

Bonus points if you know the reference in the post title.

[Part 2]

#the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #return to hatchetfield town #starkid #team starkid

[melchron]

Nightmare Time Episode 3 Thoughts

I usually save this for the end of my thoughts but I have to say this now. OMG MATT DAHAN!!! I WILL NEVER NOT BE IMPRESSED BY HIM! Usually with the episodes I catch 1 or 2 motifs but I swear I caught everyone this time. And they all fit so well. My attention was evenly split between the music and the story this time. It was so freaking good. Matt deserves all the awards like omg.

I think this is the least laggy the theme has been. Good job going all out for the last one!

I said to my mom "Did Shashona record this video?" and she did!! Great cinematography Shashona!!

I also pointed out the Tim's daddy mask. I said "Aww he's wearing a mask for his son!". I guess my mom got confused and forgot Tim's name because she thought I was talking about Dylan's (nonexistent) son.

THE DRILL PRESSES!!

LEX AND ETHAN

I kind of already knew this but I love that Ethan knows cars. I just likes that he has a hobby.

Lex cares about Tom so much I love it.

WHY DID JANE TRY TO KILL ETHAN?!?!?!? TOM DOESN'T WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM!!!! DID SHE HAVE SOME PERSONAL REASONS LIKE WHY!?!??!

That Lexthan interaction was so cute. I love how he saw she was super sorry and scared and he just stopped being mad and comforted her. They are so cute I can't handle it!!

KENDALL!!! Ok so through out this whole thing I know everyone was excited for their favorite character to come back but I really just wanted to see Kendall again. I guess after BF I assumed we would never see her again because I couldn't see them working with children becoming a normal thing. But when the original cast announcement came out I got so happy to see her name. So I was super excited to see her.

Her covering her hair with a beanie looks better than the wig

UNCLE PAUL I'M SOFT I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!!!

Cineplex Teen is like Larry from tawog. I guess we should start calling him Obnoxious Teen then. Until we get a name.

I love that Tim immediately likes Becky. Wish I could say the same for my stepparents.

Santa Claus Is Going To High School bb. Also I want to hear the rest of that song. Also also how many wigs does Lauren own?

TONY GREEN

Why must they make love to this movie everytime? Can't we simply just watch it and make fun of like normal people? That way Tim can enjoy it too.

Good for Jane for making sure her son doesn't have to eat disgusting school lunch. She gets good mom points.

Aww Becky reassuring him he's not a Dummy

Becky is like really horny this episode. Honestly Tom's into so go ahead girl

JAIME IS JANE

OK OK OK SO Jane said they were driving home from her parents house. Which means they were still alive when Jane died. That was only a year and a half ago so the Perkins parents might have died more recently than we thought. It's like Spring of 2019 right? So Jane died around Fall 2017. I don't remember if this was said in the show (it probably was and I'm saying nothing new) but I think Black Friday takes place about a year after her death. Tgwdlm took place October 2018. They have to have died only a few months before then. How long had Emma been in Hatchetfield before tgwdlm? Maybe there is a possibility we can see a flashback of an interaction with her parents depending on how long it's been. Also that means Emma lost her whole family in the span of a few months omg. And Tim lost his mom and his grandparents in that time. I want to see how they grieved with all of that. Also I know I'm crossing universes here but Emma also almost died the same day Jane did. Some strange force must really have it out for the Perkins family. Good on Emma for surviving like a champ.

Ok so I thought they went scouting for girls because Jane didn't want the man she loved to have to devote the rest of his life to a car. I thought she was trying to help him move on. She was getting good lover points but those have since been redacted.

Jane is definitely bi and I love that for her. I don't care if she tried to kill her new crush. It was new enough for it to mean nothing.

GREENPEACE GIRL

Tom does look like a creep ngl

Jane reminds us she's a car a lot. Like girl we get it.

No. No. No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NOPE! We're not talking about it. I don't want to. I stared at James the whole and honestly same dude. I saw Nick in my peripheral vision and loved/hated that he was laughing. RIP to me watching this with my mom. RIP to Kendall. Actually rip to everyone who had to sit through that. RIP to Jaime and Dylan for having to perform that. RIP to the cursed rehearsals. Matt and Nick seriously took the time to sit down and write that. What the heck you two?!? This made me more uncomfy than the entirety of mamd and Ted's character combined. I wish I was exaggerating. Maybe this was just me but it felt longer than it needed to. The relief and worry I felt when Tim walked in is a feeling I can not explain. Glad he was clueless.

Tim sweetie I love you but SHUT UP

Jane is crazy and Jaime is doing such an amazing job at portraying that.

Yes Tom. Because grave digging is way crazier than possessed cars.

I asked my mom why the didn't just go grave digging for Jane's body but my mom said the body is probably all rotted and gross so that explains that.

Why didn't Becky just go inside? If she went far enough I doubt Jane would have been able to hit her even if she managed to break into the house. Also let's assume Becky's house had an upstairs. There, perfect safety.

Did Becky seriously die in the same woods as Stanley?

Ok so I thought the tree thing was a reference to little Irish girl Becky from the Black Friday sk10 stream. But now it seems like something more serious and bad happened so I'm curious.

DID JANE GET TOM ARRESTED?!?!? It seemed like she could drive herself at that point. Why not let him get out and get Becky yourself? Is this that self confidence thing Tom talked about?

Is she really about to have her son be obsessed with Ms. Becky for the rest of their lives or is she gonna tell him?

This next episode made me physically jump twice. I say literally a lot but I promise you I'm using it correctly when I say I literally jumped.

KENDALL'S SINGING

I saw the thing about the ukelele being a bday gift from the cast so this was super sweet

Ok personal time. My grandmother's name is Pamela and my mom decided to permanently cut ties with her a few months ago due to her abusive behavior. Me and my sibling are still allowed to talk to her whenever we please but we haven't seen her as much as we used to. I got kind of scared watching this with my mom because I was scared this would trigger something. She didn't say anything and I didn't want to bother her about if she was fine so I didn't say anything. Anyway this just kind of hit different for me.

JAIME'S RANGE OMG

"I want to be alone with my man." Ms what are you about to do to your Tv?

DON'T GIVE HER BEER

Duke seems chill. I like him.

LEX AND ETHAN GOT ARRESTED!?!?!? FOR SELLING HER PILLS!?!??! THAT SHE TOLD THEM TO SELL!?!?!? I HATE HER!!!

Does Ms. Foster have a type or is being male good enough?

Hannah's 14? I thought she was the same age as Tim. I could have sworn in the BF commentary track they said she was 9 or 10. Did my brain make that up?

How does Kim change her hair so quickly? She did this in episode 2 too? I could never. I am very impressed.

Curt and Kim talking over the phone while standing shoulder to shoulder was funnier than it should have been

Ms. Holloway is cool. YAY MOSTLY GOOD WITCHES

How does Ms. Holloway know? I need a backstory please!!

Ok so I saw Jon in his cape and thought he might be the with. But then I saw James in his cape I y'know stopped thinking that. Anyway I'm obsessed with Jon and James in capes. Kind of wish Corey had one too.

OH I JUST THOUGHT THIS AS I'M TYPING NOW ok so that tree she was talking to at the beginning was one of the tree people. I'm embarrassed it took me this long to realise it.

Hannah is way too calm about these talking trees and sometimes spider ladies. I respect that.

There was a lot of black and white theming in this episode. More than normal. It makes me more curious about what exactly Hannah's connection to it is.

Hannah almost died in her own mind. I was kinda hating Ms. Holloway in this moment because she forced Hannah to go into her mind. But I know she had to so I'm cool with her again.

THE STARLIGHT THEATER

Did she really say just don't be scared next time? Like miss some actual advice would help.

CAN MS. HOLLOWAY'S MIND LEAVE HANNAH ALONE?? Like I know you didn't get the reaction you wanted out of her but you're seriously gonna give up and go for a little girl instead. Pathetic.

"What's shakin', Banana?" That was the first time I jumped.

WIGGLY

What exactly is that 6-legged girl? I wish we had a visual. Also how couldn't Ms. Holloway help her? What was her issue? Npmd you got anything for me?

Wiley. Just seeing him come up. That was the second time I jumped.

Also everyone already said this but props to Joey for his commitment. Shaving in between episodes like omg sir you didn't have to go all out for this. But you did and I appreciate you for it. Also HE KEPT THE JACKET?? WHAT!??! Just fully committed to this character go off Joey!!

Usually I would laugh at stuff phasing through the green screen but this just made it creepier.

HOLLOWAY AND WILEY/WILBUR BACKSTORY PLEASE

But also I love how the script had him listed at Wilbur above his lines. I remember Nick called him Wilbur once in the commentary track (possibly by accident) but it's nice to have it in cannon. I don't remember I any of the characters called him Wilbur because I'm so used to seeing Wilbur and Wiley used interchangeably but this was just nice to have canonized.

DUKE PAY ATTENTION!! FREAKING USELESS RIGHT NOW!!!

Dang Wiley she was already being choked in the physical world you didn't have to choke her in her mind too calm down

YAY MORE DOLLS

NICK I WAS KIDDING ABOUT AN APOTHEOSIS DOLL

Is the mouth one (I see we've named him Nibbly. Good because his full name is too long to type out) gonna be the npmd villain? The pick color theme seems cool.

ANGELA'S TRANSITION THOUGH!!! Omg she switched roles seamlessly. And her voice too!! Go off Angela.

MARIAH IS WEBBY

This is random and unrelated but I never noticed how big Mariah's eyes were before.

So Webby and the Doll Gang are all siblings? I find it interesting that the were described to all where black. And Webby's color theme is white. Like how the good and bad ukeleles were white and black. This might sound really dumb see as we don't have a 100% accurate visual of the black and white but I wonder if Webby ever left would it be 100% black? Like if Wiggly went through the portal would it become a little less black? Does this make sense? Also I'm starting to see the black and white as less of a bad place. Its starting to see more ominously neutral.

Hannah's favorite show is He-Man no I do accept criticism.

Ms. Holloway is a nerd. She saw Hannah make the reference and was like "Huh. I f she likes He-Man maybe making this hat a reference will make her like me." She would only know if she watched the show. But then again she seems to be stuck in the 80s so maybe she just thinks that's what's popular with the kids.

MS. HOLLOWAY PLEASE GET LEX AND ETHAN BACK

AND ANOTHER GREAT SONG TO END IT OFF

This episode was......a lot. So much happened. Loved all of it. I am scared of Nick and Matt's minds but also incredibly grateful for them. As usual everyone's acting was top notch.

I love this episode.

Also I'm just gonna say it. Jon ruined Nick's season one reveal.

#starkid #nightmare time #nightmare time spoilers #jane's a car #the witch in the web #Hatchetfield #mel thinks thoughts #melchron the good book

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

Okay, so once again, I can’t get tickets, so I was watching a discord server liveblog the latest episode and tried to figure out what was going on. Once again, I am very confused and don’t have many answers, but here’s all the stuff I wrote down. 

(obviously don’t read this if you don’t want spoilers)

(also this probably isn’t accurate, i was just writing down stuff)

Dylan singing country about cars

Jane is…actually a car?

I just got ‘eagles’ with no context

Some sort of black book

Tom fucked his car

Kendall!

Jon is wearing a cape

LEX LEX LEX

ETHAN

Ethan ALMOST died

The car is alive?

Tim returns and is a year older

BECKY

“Uncle Paul is a geek” oh my god my heart

Obnoxious teen?

Santa’s going to high school

Tim wants Becky as a mum

Basically Becky is being awesome

Tom and Becky have sex

Tom doesn’t know abt Becky killing Stanley

Tony Green? Ethan’s dad?

Rob playing Tony AND Ethan

Foreshadowing Ethan dying again and everyone is scared

Okay Jane ISN’T actually the car

But Jane wants to kill Ethan?

JAIME IS JANE

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

Kim was on mute or something and Dylan had to improv

Tom is having an existential crisis

Basically everyone is switching between “are they gonna fuck?” and “are they gonna die?

Jane is apparently gonna kill a lot of people

She IS a car

Reincarnated? As a car?

Year and a half after Jane’s death

Tinky mention?

There’s some sort of black book from the beginning

In the words of @schaefferisqueen –“JANE U EVIL BITCH I LOVE U”

Jane is terrifying

Tom is gonna fuck the car?

Jane is going to steal Becky’s body?

Greenpeace girl!

Jane’s bi

Jane is manipulative and is going to have a big kill count

All of the men in hatchetfield are dumbasses

Linda? Linda is here?

Everyone is laughing and James is running away

Gary?

Jane is gonna kill Tim

“I kinda preferred the car sex” oh my god it’s bad

Lack of communication

“Cars 4 is wild” I am DYING

Woods? Chumby?

BECKY’S GONNA CLIMB A TREE

I think Becky died

Doug?

Tom dead too?

Wait nvm he’s okay

Becky’s alive as well

It’s all good

Becky is Jane?

Becky is in the dump and Tom is in prison

Idk

KENDALL GETS A SONG

YESSSSS

Okay Witch in the Web time

Black and White monster?

Is there gonna be another doll?

Her mum’s name is Pamela lol so is mine

Jaime is the mum

The return of Dan and Donna™

Witchwood?

Oh it’s Curt

Lex hasn’t turned up yet

OKAY WHAT? WHERE THE HELL IS LEX

Lex left?

She lost Lex?

I think Curt’s character is called Duke

Wait was Duke introduced in the last episode? I can’t remember lol

Mysterious Woman?

Mariah is a queen (like always) but I don’t know why in this specific instance

Who’s Holloway?

Jon and James haven’t said anything yet which means we might get Wiggly and Blinky appearance

Holloway is the witch

Kim is the witch

So Kim is Holloway

Lex still isn’t here

Lex is in jail?

And Ethan

#FreeLexAndEthan

Wait there’s a different witch?

The Book? The one from Jane’s a Car?

Webby’s Brothers?

WIGGLY BLINKY TINKY

Holloway is sketchy

Something about 1824 which is when Hatchetfield was founded

Okay the entities are all founding members of Hatchetfield?

Is Hannah the witch?

Watcher World?

Apotheosis Asshole?

They’re singing?

Wiggly?

Blinky?

WILBUR????

Wiley with a mo is a thought I can’t handle

Okay it’s now official that Wiley and Wilbur are the same, we all assumed anyway, but it’s good to know

Holloway killed Wilbur?

Hatchetfield is in a loop?

Nuclear power plant?

Pamela is being possessed by someone

That guy called Duke is back

Holloway has McNamara vibes apparently

So she’s in PEIP?

Joey’s moustache just disappeared?

Did he shave off screen?

Hannah is a witch?

Different universe?

LEX

It’s a dream?

Are you fucking kidding me

Okay no one knows what is happening

Everyone is sus

The witch is posing as Lex?

Okay I don’t know who’s who anymore

THERE’S A NEW DOLL

An Apotheosis doll?

Drowsy Town?

Hannah is either related to the witch or IS the witch

Okay witch is ancestor

RIP headphones users

Related to Holloway as well?

Hannah is whacking someone with a ukulele

Mariah is Webby?

Hell yeah

Lex and Ethan?

Magic Hat?

There’s actually a happy ending? Damn wasn’t expecting that

ROBERT LIVED

Um yeahhh basically I am very confused and don’t know what is happening

I just saw a picture of the pink doll and it is UGLY

Okay so there are 5 dolls plus Webby and they are all siblings

Note that this is what I learnt from the liveblogging, I’ve learnt a bit more stuff about it since then. 

#long post #i don't know what is going on #but i'm very concerned #especially about THAT scene #nightmare time #nightmare time spoilers #nightmare time episode 3 #nightmare time ep 3 #jane's a car #the witch in the web #starkid #team starkid #starkid productions #hatchetfield #hatchetfield universe

[i-see-7-cats]

Episode 26 thoughts

okay so i'm assuming this is going to deal with the fallout of ned stealing shade tree

and we're gonna learn if sheriff owens is going to reveal the existence of the abomination(s?)

also a lot of people pointed out that ned could be accused of killing boyd so that's gonna be fun

also where is the laptop? did agent stern take it?

"farts" is the best curse word

so.. the telescope. hopefully we'll get a few answers now because i am very curious

national very quiet zone

national absolute silence zone

wait how is he going to get in? there has to be some sort of security

duck,, please

"bear-abouts"

i also can't believe that worked

greenpeace girl? :D

random broken machinery is suspicious

collapsed 1988? isn't that 30 years ago, when the abominations started appearing in kepler? this is probably going to be important

"the very big telescope" is the best name ever

isn't checking out the secure building a good way to get caught?

what do you mean he gets a headache from approaching it

that's ominous as heck

an energizing headache? is this somehow connected to minerva?

the thing is though.. this lie is kinda very easy to verify so that's not great

who is this

why did she think duck died??

well yeah it's called high-school

see what i did there

nevermind she's fine with this

hi aubrey!

embedded moonlight? :D

"resort-road"

w o o d p a n e l i n g

griffin reading out possible side effects like that immediately makes me dread the Power of the DM

i guess we're lucky that the hotel actually is in kepler

the what hotel

the dude who was kidnapped by aliens?

now travis is just repeating advice from shmanners :D

bye eugene

i did not remember the dog and i'm very impressed

damn, aubrey is really good at magic

that music is ominous

ned gets his stuff back! i wonder if the abomination took the pendant

i do not like this

i assume the abomination did take the pendant?

another middle name! yay

how to: turn a key

oh fuck off! that was very rude! i cannot believe you

yeah! where did it go!

convincing npcs to do something "because i rolled well" is always great :D

someone accusing ned of potential burglary? :o why on earth would he think that??

and another middle name!

shit i don't remember why the scarf is important

did boyd wear one?

oh! happy birthday griffin!!

i stop listening for a few seconds and suddenly i hear "it's like a cool holster for your tooth-gun"

huh i thought we were like halfway through amnesty

though i couldn't really imagine what could be more challenging than the current bom-bom

a potential war between sylvain and the humans is kind of the nightmare scenario already

hearing that sarah is kind of the only person there (?) makes me very concerned for her

"space gunk"

1990 is also around 30 years ago

so this is connected to minerva!

what happened??

damn cliffhangers

i wonder if minerva could live on earth

ooh another one of these orbs! i think

f

what do mean it beeps

is it an alarm?

ouch

it's been so long since someone was hurt

not counting npcs obviously

f

what's up with people being pushed/falling into coffee tables

ouch

level up!

heck yeah lightning!

why are there random pieces of paper

floating

is this something that was there before and i just forgot about it?

i don't like this

agent stern?? has dossiers on them??

he didn't do anything basically the whole time and i didn't expect him to actually have done some work

i feel like this episode is going to end on a cliffhanger again

w

what why

what could be so important in there

like it already has all of ned's stuff

including, i assume, the pendant

what else does it want

this almost feels like it's going to return the stuff

but that doesn't make any sense

why take it in the first place?

oh wait

does this have to do with shade tree

is it going to frame ned? well it wouldn't really be framing but

if not, i'm very concerned for kirby

oh yeah i forgot about billy

but there are no knifes in warriors, it's about cats

i probably misheard something didn't i

so it did return ned's stuff

is it going to frame ned for stealing the laptop?? but there's no way it could have known mama would ask ned to get it and there would be no reason to turn it on

it could just read through the files in boyd's hotel room

but this means it was in amnesty lodge

so.. dani or agent stern?

aubrey still didn't tell anyone about dani did she

even though everyone knows it's a shapeshifter now

fuck? i still don't get how putting everything in the back room would be good for framing ned though.. why not put it out in the open?

oh

oh shit

oh no

oh no this is bad

fuck

why did i not consider this

oh wait it's because i thought it wanted the pendant for itself

you know, i still don't get what the plan here was

steal/take a bunch of stuff just to give it back?? it's very suspicious

oh so we're back with ned now

doesn't he still have one unasked question from the "read a bad situation" earlier?

whatever

oh so that's the deal with the scarf

:/

everyone was talking about how ned was going to suspected of killing boyd and can i just say: yikes that's an uncomfortable situation right now

this is going to look bad

the accent!! it's great!!

yeah everyone wants to know how ned is dealing with this

especially mochicane shippers

"galaxy-braining" is not a term i ever expected griffin to use

"you are just kinda zoned out and looking at the body" was also not something i was expecting to hear

how ironic would it be if saturday night dead was on right now

community insights?

wait is this the bom bom

oh no no no no no no

fuck!!

don't say it don't say it don't say it

fuck

perhaps this can still be played off as an advertising thing?

oh fuck!!!!!!!!!!

does this mean everyone can see the arch now

also fuck

fuck fuck fuck fuck

fuck no

shit

i mean we all suspected that this was the abomination's goal but fuck

well fucking hell

fuck

...okay now that i've calmed down somewhat i have a few questions

why bother with the unnecessary stuff?

sure it attacked people and that makes sense

and i think it took the laptop because it couldn't figure out why no one could see the gate

but like.. why bother with boyd?

why bother returning everything? there's no way it was planning for aubrey to find it

also i'm surprised it didn't try to paint the pine guard as the bad guys for keeping the truth from everyone and allying with the sylvans

since it doesn't seem to differentiate between regular sylvans and abominations

does it think it's doing what's best for everyone?

it doesn't really seem to view the pine guard as enemies

there were plenty of opportunities to hurt them

and it did give ned's stuff back.. was it trying to be nice?

and it could be justifying the killings by saying that a few sacrifices had to be made for the greater good or something along those lines

does it think killing the sylvans will stop the abominations from appearing?

but why would it want that, it's an abomination itself

or is it

we still don't know where the abominations are coming from exactly

maybe this is something different

also mama did say the abominations were appearing more frequently and were more dangerous

and we still don't know why

thacker wanted to find out but now he's possessed by the quell

what does the quell have to do with the abominations?

also we still don't know anything about the whole going feral thing

shit i just realized that's what's going to happen to people who are going to try to fight

they aren't protected from going feral or whatever

also i just realized the hornets are probably going to be at the gate that night

that means they could confirm what "ned" said

so could sheriff owens

he's not going to be happy about this is he

and neither will anyone in amnesty lodge

though i'm interested in what agent stern's reaction will be

are people going to assume ned is dead? because i don't think we've yet seen the abomination transform into anyone without killing them first

except dani

which is a whole other thing

why didn't it kill her? what's the deal with the book? the whole sacrifice thing was really ominous too

god it's too late for speculations i'm going to sleep

#nobody asked for this but #taz amnesty #taz amnesty spoilers #taz spoilers #long post #i apologize for the swearing at the end #but jesus christ #definitely going to sleep #it's almost 3am #it won't be when i post this but #also i could swear it was only around 1 am when i started listening

[john-cardoza]

Reality is Shattering

After a musical apocalypse Paul would like to think he can handle anything life throws at him, but this is weird and slightly terrifying. Because, when you pull a pin on a grenade you are supposed to die. Right? You aren't supposed to be sent back in time, or to a different dimension, or put in a really weird dream. None of those things should happen, but at least one of them definitely is. Read on Ao3.

I don’t like musicals!

When Paul pulls the pin the world explodes. Sure it’s a grenade and that’s exactly what is supposed to happen, but something about it is weird. Instead of the burning and the pain he was expecting to feel, he’s just numb and it feels like the different aspects of reality are shattering and coming back together. The only thing he can think of is Emma. As long as Emma survives none of this matters. He’ll die and Emma will live and everything will be worth it.

The world is absorbed in a cloud of light. He can’t see the infected anymore, no Charlotte, no Bill, and no Greenpeace lady. He’s flying backwards, and just when he thinks he will land and break every bone in his body, he blacks out.

-------

Paul wakes up with a gasp. He can’t move, something is tangled around his legs, restricting his movement. His eyes open, expecting to see some kind of alien mothership, but instead it’s a bedroom. Wait no. It’s his bedroom.

His sheets are wrapped around his legs and the sun is coming through the window, just like it always is. He can hear cars and the sounds of people going about their normal days, which is unsettling. His alarm goes off at six o'clock on the dot, like usual and Paul reluctantly gets out of bed.

His suit is hanging in his closet, looking just like it always does. Except it’s on the left instead of the right. He has bagels in the fridge, though the cream cheese is expired, and when he makes it to the parking lot his gas tank is halfway full. The desk person in the apartment building says hello to him, undramatically and not trying to kill him, and when someone with headphones passes him while singing he can safely say that they are very out of tune.

Paul would almost believe that the last two days was a dream, if it weren’t for the spots of blood he found on one of his dress shirts from when Emma tried to kiss him.

Emma.

Paul doesn’t dare go to beanie’s. He even drives the extra block to make sure he won’t even pass by the front window. As much as he wants to see Emma, the idea of it terrifies him. Something is definitely wrong and he doesn’t want to drag Emma into it, maybe this was all a huge hallucination his brain had created after he blew himself up. Maybe he was actually infected, but his brain was going to be stuck in a day dream while his body did the aliens bidding. Maybe his body was out there right now, singing and dancing, and trying to kill the one girl he actually liked.

Maybe he should stop thinking about it.

When Paul walks into the office, he braces himself for the disaster that he ran from two days ago.

“Paul where is your statistical analysis?” Mr. Davidson comes out of nowhere and Paul think he might have a heart attack. “It was supposed to be on my desk yesterday”

Paul waits for the shoe to drop and for Mr. Davidson to burst into song again, but instead he just looks more and more angry the longer Paul stays silent. Paul gets the hint and realizes that he should probably cover if he doesn’t want to be fired .“Oh– yes. Yes! I have them. I’ll get them to you. Right now. Goodbye” Paul ducks into the closest elevator and the door closes on Mr. Davidson.

What the fuck is going on.

Paul doesn’t realize there’s someone else in the elevator until they speak.

“Hey Paul. I hear you didn’t get your reports in. Why is your work ethic so bad? Maybe you should try my style: just turn stuff in on time” Ted leans against the elevator railing and his hair falls in his face in that really douchebag way it always does.

All of the love Paul held for Ted is gone. (Not that there was very much) “Oh hi Ted”

“Buddy I had a wild weekend” Ted continues “I went over to Charlotte’s house and I won’t tell you exactly what we did, but I’m sure you can guess” Ted raises his eyebrows suggestively and shakes his hips.

Paul was too busy trying not to puke from that horrible image that it takes him a second to process “Wait what?!!” Charlotte he mentioned Charlotte. And he isn’t badly covering it up “Charlotte?”

“Duh,” Ted rolls his eyes “She’s good– if you know what I mean”

“But Charlotte is married” Paul slowly connects the dots “Sam, the asshole”

“Dude she’s been divorced for months” Ted looks at Paul like he’s an idiot “We’ve been fucking for twice that”

So things are different. The elevator door opens and Paul makes an escape without even looking at the floor number. He needs to be done with that conversation. Immediately.

Luckily Paul is on the right floor. He beelines for his desk and buries his face in his hands. What the fuck.

Everything is the same as it was. Except it’s not. Paul’s brain hurts from trying to figure it out. Is he in an alternate dimension? His inner nerd is excited about that theory. Or is it just a weird possessed hallucination. Did he time travel? That one doesn’t make any sense, he’s in almost the past, but it’s different than it was the first time. Maybe it’s because he blew up the meteor? It might’ve reset things, but not perfectly. Can that happen?

“Hey Paul, you okay?” Bill’s voice comes out of nowhere. God Bill. His best friend who he watched get shot in the head.

Paul jumps to his feet and hugs Bill tightly. He’d been so focused on Emma and Ted and Charlotte that he completely forget about Bill. “I’m great”

Bill seems confused about why Paul is hugging him, but he isn’t opposed. He hesitantly pats Paul on the back “Uh, Okay?”

Paul kind of feels like he’s going to burst into tears, but he doesn’t. Instead he composes himself and pulls away, like it’s normal for him to casually hug Bill. “How’s Alice?” Even if he sometimes seems uninterested in Bill’s social life, after everything he witnessed during the semi-apocalypse he needs to know. (Also he always liked Alice. It sucked when the alien possesing her body tried to kill him.

Bill’s face lights up “Actually it’s great!” Bill sits in his desk chair and rolls over to Paul’s desk “See she was supposed to go home two days ago on the bus, but she got off to go see Deb” Paul notices that when Bill says his daughter’s girlfriends name it is with less anger than usual. “So last night was talking to Alice after Deb left, and we were fighting, but then– get this Paul! She told me that she wants to live with me instead of her mother! Ha! So we talk to her mother and she objects, obviously. Because I’m a supposed Bad influence” Bill looks hurt and Paul is reminded of how much he hates Bill’s ex-wife “But Alice starts talking about legal stuff– apparently she’s been researching. And because she’s seventeen it’s her choice. So her mom agrees as long as Alice visits once a week. So now I have my daughter back!”

Paul waits a second to see if Bill is done before talking “That’s great Bill”

“I know!” Bill smiled. He leaned forward “Also she loved Mamma Mia!”

Paul froze a bit at the mention of a musical, but it didn’t seem to do anything. Part of him was still expecting this to be some bullshit prank. Like the aliens wanted to punish him because he Defied them thrice or some shit. “I’m glad”

“I’m sorry you missed it–” Paul tuned out Bill’s voice. He did not need to know the exact plot of Mamma mia, no matter what Bill said. While he was zoning out he suddenly remembered his talk with Mr. Davidson. “So then the mom’s friends all started singing–”

“Shit! My weekly report” Paul cut Bill off mid sentence.

“I did it for you remember?” Bill passed Paul the papers “Because you were sick yesterday”

He was sick? That’s weird Paul has never missed a day of work from sickness (It doesn’t count if your boss sends you home because they don’t want you to get everyone else sick). Paul took the weekly report and scanned a couple of pages. “Thanks Bill”

“It’s no problem” Bill took the report back and dropped it on Melissa’s desk where she would hopefully give it to Mr. Davidson.

“Oh hello Paul, Bill” Charlotte walked slowly and put a cup of coffee on her desk “I didn’t know you were here”

Charlotte was wearing her cat sweater, the one she died in. Shake it off Paul. He needed to stop thinking about his friends and the ways they died “Hi Charlotte” He looked Charlotte up and down, she looked the same as she had, though her hands weren’t shaking as much as usual and she looked happier. Was being with Ted that much better than Sam? Or was there something different that he didn’t know about that was putting her in a better mood. “How are you?”

“I’m fantastic” Charlotte took a drink from her cup and Paul realized that it was actually the herbal tea that everyone avoided in favor of coffee. “Ted took me on the nicest date last night–”

“Charlotte you’re ruining my image” Ted complained he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek and smiled at her in a very-not-Ted way.

“Sorry sweetheart” Charlotte kissed Ted quickly before going back to her tea.

Paul felt his eyes bug out in shock. What the fuck.

“I’m going to go get some coffee” Paul stood up abruptly. This was too weird. “At the nice normal Starbucks”

Charlotte frowned “I just made a new pot in the–”

“Nope” Paul looked around and grabbed his wallet “I have a… a gift card! Yeah, I’ll be back”

Paul didn’t wait for his friends confirmation, he just left.

------

Paul let the muscle memory take him to the coffee shop while he thought about what had happened. He must be in a hallucination. That was the only logical explanation. The real question was whether he hit his head when the blast went off, or if it was alien induced. Maybe both? Paul was regretting the fact that he never read science fiction books, maybe that would’ve given him a better idea of what was going on.

Paul opened the door to the shop and didn’t realize anything was wrong until the bell above the door went off. Instead of the small beep that happened when you walk into Starbucks, he heard the tell tale wind chime of Beanie’s. Before he could turn around and run he met eyes with the girl at the counter; Zoey if he remembered correctly. He would look like an ass if he left now.

At least Emma wasn’t at the counter. Wait was that a bad thing? What if Emma just didn’t exist in this world? Is that good or bad?

Out of curiosity he turned around to see how he ended up at Beanie’s instead of Starbucks. He realized that he had walked to the right place, but in this world or hallucination Beanie’s was right by his work and the Starbucks was visible about a block away. Paul hated this.

He tapped his fingers against his wallet while he waited in line. It would be fine, he wouldn’t even need to talk to Emma, he could be in and out before her break was over. To his horror right as he got to the counter Emma walked out of the back and took Zoey’s place.

“Paul!” Emma looked surprised “You’re late”

Paul was technically early, but enough things were already out of whack. Why would his normal coffee time be the same. “Yeah, just a black coffee”

“I don’t even get a hello?” Emma asked “You bailed on me yesterday”

“I bailed on what?” According to Bill he had been sick, but he was at least 93% sure he had actually been running from the fucking alien apocalypse.

“I had the closing shift” Emma stared at him like he was supposed to know what that meant.

“Oh yeah, the closing shift” Paul nodded in a way that he hoped was convincing “My bad”

Emma looked unconvinced “Are you okay? You always came hang out while I lock down the store and clean tables. I missed you”

“I was sick” Paul covered, that’s what Bill told him so it must be somewhat right? His heart might’ve fluttered at the fact that Emma knew him here and that he regularly spent time with her, but it was offset by the other fifteen negative emotions he was feeling at the same time.

“Why didn’t you text me?” Emma plucked his wallet out of his hand where he had been holding it in front of himself absently. “Cash or credit?”

“Cash” Paul couldn’t lie to Emma. He needed to tell her what was going on. Maybe she would know what to do. “I need to talk to you”

Emma took a five dollar bill out of Paul’s wallet and returned the proper amount of change. “We can talk tonight, I’m closing again”

“Can it be sooner?” Paul was going to explode if this went on any longer. He also did not want to go back to work.

“Emma hurry the fuck up” Emma’s boss called from the espresso machine “You’re holding up the line”

“Yes Nora” Emma rolled her eyes “You need to go, I’ll see you after work?”

“Of course” Paul took the coffee from her and left the store. That was a failure on every count. And now he had to go back to work and talk to his friends who weren’t like his friends and why was his life such a disaster.

------

After four hours of keeping his head down at work and ignoring how weird everything felt, he was ready to leave. Or actually he was ready to jump out a window, but leaving was a nice alternate. He didn’t actually know when Emma is supposed to get off work, so he just heads down to Beanie’s as soon as he can leave. Luckily the shop is empty and Emma has most of the lights turned off. He hesitantly knocks on the door and lets him in before re-locking the door

“So what did you want to talk about?” Emma asked. She was wiping down the counter so Paul pulled one of the chairs over to sit on.

“I think I’m either in a different dimension or my current life is all an elaborate illusion that the aliens who killed me came up with” Paul explained in a rush.

Emma turned around slowly “What?”

“I know you probably think that I’m crazy or high or something equally weird, but there was this musical apocalypse and I died, but now I’m back in the world where it never happened and everything is just slightly different so I’m freaking out!” Paul didn’t know what he would do if Emma didn’t believe him.

“I–” Something in Emma’s expression changed “Musical apocalypse?”

“Yes!” Paul needed her to believe him “Everyone who got infected just started singing and dancing like they were in a musical! There was actually a song here– except it wasn’t because in my world Beanie’s is in the Starbucks building– but it was your boss and Zoey and you were doing a tip song but they knew more so they just kept going, and they put blue shit in the coffee!”

Emma stopped wiping the counter and jumped up to sit on top of it. “I believe you”

“And then– Wait what?” Paul had been ready to launch into another description, but he stopped “Why?”

“I’ve been having these dreams…” Emma trailed off “I thought it was nothing, just a dream. But that; what you just described, was in my dream”

“Oh,” Now Paul was really confused “What else do you remember”

“You” Emma blushed a little “We almost kissed”

“Yeah,” Paul would regret not kissing Emma for the rest of his (Probably short) life. “So now I’m here and I’m kind of freaking out”

“You said little things are different?” Emma asked to clarify, when Paul nodded she continued “So what is different? Maybe that has something to do with this”

Paul started listing everything he had noticed throughout the day. He didn’t notice a pattern until he got to the end of the list “Wait everything is better” So far all of the weird changes had been good things that he wanted to happen. Bill got his daughter back, Charlotte was happy, and Emma was working closer to his office. Also now that he looked back on it, the coffee at Beanie’s was significantly better.

“Okay I have an idea” Emma hopped off the counter and threw her rag behind the counter “I have this professor–”

“Hidgens turned out to be evil” Paul interrupted. As much as he liked Hidgens, there was no way he would forgive him for trying to get Emma killed. Oh, and Ted.

“Hidgens?” Emma looked confused “Who the fuck is Hidgens?”

“Noted” Paul nodded. Just another thing to add to the list “Proceed”

“So anyway. She’s super into voodoo stuff. She claims I was like, an astronaut or something, in a past life? Anyway, maybe she can guess what’s going on” Emma rolled her apron into a ball and tucked it under the counter. “Professor Hill”

“That sounds like a long shot” Paul said hesitantly “But I have no better ideas”

------

Paul should’ve known that Hill would be weird. Why were Emma’s professors always weird? She was majoring in fucking botany. Shouldn’t the professors be plain, normal plant people? Hill looked like she was straight out of a scooby doo cartoon with hair that a cat probably slept in and an outfit that looked like she got lost in a fabric store from the seventies. To Paul’s horror she pulled them into her basement which had a crystal ball and four too many skulls to be average.

“Emma you brought a friend” Hill moved much closer than Paul wanted and looked him in the eye “Or maybe more than a friend?”

“Paul is having a problem Professor” Emma seemed right at home in the horror basement. She sat on the loveseat across the table and took the cup of tea Hill offered her.

“Big problem” Paul stood nervously in front of the loveseat. He was unsure if Emma wanted him that close. Emma rolled her eyes and pulled him down to sit next to her and leaned against his shoulder. Paul waved away the offer of tea and Hill examined him over her octagonal glasses. (Also what company made fucking octagonal glasses?)

“You aren’t from here” Hill sat dramatically in her chair and pulled the crystal ball closer.

“So I am in a different dimension?” Paul missed Hidgens and his extensive bar.

“Maybe so” Hill said unhelpfully (Which seemed to be a common theme) “Here can mean any number of things”

Emma nodded as though that made sense. “We want to know what happened to Paul”

HIll leaned across the table and examined Paul “Hmm”

“Emma I think we should go” Paul leaned back. He no longer cares what’s going on, as long as he never has to see this woman ever again.

“It’s amazing what dreams can bring” Hill nodded at Emma.

“What?” Emma grabbed Paul’s hand nervously. “My dreams?”

“The dreams will give it away” Hill repeated. She pushed away the crystal ball, even though she had barely used it. “That is all I can see” Hill pushed them out of her… house? Basement? Apartment? Cave?

“I never want to see that woman ever again” Paul said once the door closed. He was starting to miss the apocalypse, at least he knew that was real.

“I wish she’d been more helpful”

“At least she didn’t try to kill us” Emma laughed and Paul suddenly realized they were still holding hands. It was nice.

“Do you want to come over to my place?” Emma asked when they got in the car “You probably shouldn’t be alone”

“Sure” Paul was pretty sure he would be fine alone, it wasn’t like someone was trying to murder him. But it was sweet that Emma was worried.

------

They got back to Emma’s with little difficulty. Everything was so much easier when aliens weren’t trying to infect you and take over the world. Paul wondered what Bill was doing, a part of him, was still hoping that this was actually real. Everyone was way happier and Paul wouldn’t mind staying here forever.

“So we don’t actually know each other in your memories?” Emma asked casually.

“When I exploded we had only actually known each other for about three days” Paul didn’t think pining after Emma for a month counts.

“I must’ve really liked you” Emma reasoned. “And I never actually kissed you”

“The one time we tried you spit up blood on my face”

“I think we can do better than that” Emma grabbed Paul’s shirt to pull him in and kissed him right as the world started to dissolve.

-------

Emma came to consciousness slowly, holding on to the dream for as long as possible. Sadly enough the dream faded and Emma finally woke up. Paul’s untucked shirt she was holding became the sheets on the uniform hospital bed had been sleeping in for weeks now. The apartment she loved, though the real Paul had never set foot in it, became the dark and empty room. It was amazing the things her dreams came up with. Anything to make her believe that she didn’t lose her chance with the one guy she actually liked.

Throughout the last week Emma’s head had given her so many foolish fantasies. Fantasies where everyone was actually happy, and the friends she’d only had for a day and a half lived long enough for her to get to know them.

“Kelly get up! You’re leaving today” Emma jumped at Colonel Schaffer’s voice. The Colonel was annoying, but Emma was at least looking forward to leaving and hopefully moving on.

#hi im super proud of this #tgwdlm #emma perkins #paul matthews #paul/emma #emma/paul #kind of #bill #ted #charlotte #ted/charlotte #also kind of #professor hidgens #i mean hes mentioned #alice #v writes #v writes tgwdlm #there is supposed to be a read more on this #im really sorry if it doesnt work #blame tumblr #i dont think ive ever written a 3.5k one shot #its exciting

[uneryx]

Rang-Tans: or, Greenpeace can suck it

So everyone and their dad has shared that greenpeace ad about the “rang-tan in the bedroom” where a baby orangutan is loose in a little girl’s bedroom today. The animated short basically posits that the orangutan is in her bedroom because EVIL DIRTY PALM OIL companies have cut all the forests down and the poor baby doe-eyed orangutan has nowhere to live now. While the destruction of forests for palm oil sucks, every time I see this it kinda sets my teeth on edge because MAN do I hate Greenpeace.

Not only do they carelessly destroy UNESCO World Heritage sites in the name of their cause despite the people they're trying to gain the attention of being the wrong people to effect change, a lot of the causes they champion directly hurt people who live in third world countries (campaigning against food sources that would reduce hunger in India, for example). They mismanage their funds (and do not use the funds you donate for the causes you donate for). They inflate causes that make people emotional and froth everyone up but don’t care about the broader impact that their efforts have.

So yeah, I'm on board with not cutting down forests in the name of industry, but I find this ad HORRIBLY manipulative. It’s all cutesy wootsy and is written in the style of what adults think small children sound/talk like. It’s a GLARING example of social media “activism” where people share an emotionally manipulative ad and all cluster up and go OH NO THE ORANGUTANS but no one’s gonna actually fucking stop using products with palm oil in them because it’s in your soap, your food, your makeup and LOTS of other things. You wanna do something about it? Ok, petition companies to stop using it. But don’t give your damn money to greenpeace and don’t share that fucking ad.

#your activism needs action behind it #and boy do I hate being advertised to #fuck greenpeace

[cobracommanderofficial]

The Fall of Mt. Spring

Hey guys! Here’s a story I worked on during my flight to California last night! It has a pseudo-Lovecraft tone (It could best be compared to the Thing on the Doorstep) I hope you guys like it!

I know it seems like I have committed a most horrible deed, and in most other circumstances I would agree with you. However, with this note or story or whatever label you want to apply to it, I only wish to clear some things up. More specifically, I'd like to openly testify my participation in the incident that is now commonly known to the public as "The Fall of Mt. Spring", and how I acted in the just, at least from the perspective I held at the time. 

Now, I suppose I should give some background information on the whole affair, as it should signal why I was in Mt. Spring during the semi-apocalyptic week that shall forever scar our history. Now, I suppose I should start at the very beginning of this whole affair. Back when I was still in university (I've long since dropped out to pursue independent archaeology), I made the acquaintance of a fellow by the name of Edward Wallace. Now, Edward was a most peculiar fellow in several regards. For one, he was in no way ugly or unkempt, but he always exuded an aura of repulsion. Thus, he was never the most popular fellow. Second, his interests and hobbies were unique, to say the least. He spent nearly all of his free time working some sort of internship at the nuclear power station on the edge of the city. Besides that, all he really did was sleep and make others uncomfortable. Finally, his taste in music was absolutely terrible. I cannot put into words how much I despised it. One can only listen to the Spice Girls so many times before madness begins set in. However, in spite of all these overwhelmingly terrible aspects, I couldn't help but find myself fascinated with him. How could a man sustain a lifestyle such as his and not fall into a despair so inescapable that suicide is seemingly the only escape? I became the only thing that resembled a friend in his life, so presumably he spent more time with me than with any other human being. I never did develop an emotional attachment, but over time I slowly began to realize that Edward's entire perception of reality was some kind of twisted satire. He majored primarily in accounting, but wished to become an engineer full time at an atomic research center. He said both subjects took into account his worldview of total nihilism. I wondered what kind of upbringing could produce an individual as....special as Edward. So, I probed him for months about it. Alas, he remained mostly tight lipped. All that I was able to ascertain was that he was born and raised in a town called Mt. Spring, in Vermont, and that he hated it there more than anything. That was the only aspect of his childhood he would willingly talk about. How much he despised that town. How it's very existence was a threat to Edward's sanity. It was seemingly his life goal to destroy it, either physically or economically. I suppose that would explain his career choices. Now, one Saturday afternoon, I received a phone call from Edward. 

"T-Tommy. It's finally time. I'm going back to Mt. Spring. My mother has called me, and she's fallen deathly ill. The doctors think it's some kind of cancer. I want to be there for her. So, I must abandon my studies. In a couple days, you should get a package through the mail. It contains all the knowledge I have collected on possible methods via which to neutralize the threat of Mt. Spring. Guard them with your life. I'm sorry it had to end so suddenly. Perhaps one day we'll meet again. Perhaps not." 

Then, a click. He had hung up. When the package arrived, I looked through the contents with some curiosity. Inside there were three books. One was some sort of explanation of the possible weaknesses and faults in a nuclear power plant. The other was a collection of ramblings on covert government operations located in and around Mt. Spring, some of which seemed downright ludicrous in scale and purpose. Finally, a journal with a brilliant purple cover and a shining gold top. Stuck to the front of this was a Post-it note. It read 'ONLY FOR DESPERATE MEASURES. YOU'LL KNOW WHEN." These three pieces of information led me to draw one conclusion: That Edward was absolutely insane. So, I tucked the package under my bed and went on with my life. Soon enough afterwards, I dropped out of university to pursue my passion of archaeology. 

Work was slow at first, but that changed one stormy September evening. The one incident that secured my path to Mt. Spring that fateful day was also the most important day of my life: I had just discovered a fully intact ruin buried deep within the Rocky Mountains. It seemed to be some kind of holy burial site, filled with coffins and offerings. Realizing that no good would come of me sticking around, I made note of the coordinates and went to the press with my discovery. It was hailed as incredibly important, and shed light on some of the more obscure rites of one offspring of the Sioux tribe. How they got that far north, and how they survived in such harsh conditions (Most of the ruins, including the burial site, were located at some of the highest altitudes in the Rockies.) are still a mystery to us. However, my discovery helped expose at least one fragment of their seemingly expansive culture. Approximately a month after the burial site hit the news, I heard the telephone ring. I assumed it was a journalist asking for an interview, so I ignored it at first. It kept going and going and going. Eventually, more than slightly irritated, I picked up the phone. 

"Hello, this is Thomas Frost. What business do you have?" I seethed into the receiver. A familiar voice replied. 

"Thomas, it's me. Edward. I was just watching the news when I saw your name pop up. I was so surprised you abandoned theater. Say, would you like to take a visit to my place, for old time's sake? I'm not too far from Philadelphia, if that sweetens the bargain." Edward replied. Something seemed off about his voice. It seemed restrained and concerned, almost like someone was pointing a gun to his head as he said it. Moreover, I was concerned as to how he got my home phone number. Brushing it off as him having a contact or two in the journalistic industry, I spoke into the phone again. 

"Depends where and when. I would like to see you again. It has been ages." I had calmed down at this point, but I was unable to keep concern from reaching my face. 

"Oh, it's fine. I'm located at 457 East Roosevelt Drive, in Mount Spring. Also, any time works for me. I'm settled here. Not busy at all" his raspy voice replied. I almost dropped the phone in shock. He had willingly moved back into that town which so many years ago he had despised with the entirety of his being? I was most concerned. However, I agreed to his offer. I had to investigate why he had suddenly made himself comfortable in a metaphorical den of wolves. It was almost as if Ahab were to suddenly join Greenpeace and preach about whale conservation. The math didn't add up. So, the date was set. When I was packing my stuff for my week-long stay at Mt. Spring, I noticed a box sticking out from underneath my bed. It was that package from so many years before. I figured it would be a decent topic for conversation, so I added it to my luggage. After I had finished packing and locking up the house, I jumped into my used convertible and began the hour and a half ride to a place that would alter my perspective of reality forever.

 I drove past the city limits of Mt. Spring at approximately 5 pm. From the second I entered the town, I felt something was off. The architecture of every house seemed copied and pasted. When I hit what could be referred to as 'downtown', I was utterly appalled. It was entirely chain stores, without a single unique business or service offered within the whole town. I immediately understood why Edward had hated this place so much. Thus, I was even more confused as to why he willingly moved back here. After about half an hour of driving, I arrived in front of a clean cut suburban lawn. Several gnomes and flamingos had been erected around a patch of dirt, creating a defensive barrier between the petunias and whatever Nature could throw at the pitiful excuse for a garden. Otherwise, the lawn was featureless and was so vibrantly green that I nearly threw up. I walked up the cement pathway to the front door and knocked three times.

 No response. I rang the doorbell. After about twenty seconds, the door opened. A woman in her mid thirties stood before me. Her brown hair was held in a tight bun, and her piercing blue eyes were surrounded by laugh lines. On her right hand was a diamond ring, and she wore a long blue shirt with denim jeans. She took a moment, seemingly sizing me up.

 "And who might you be", she asked in a most demanding tone. I was almost too shocked to reply.

 "M-my name is Thomas Frost. I'm an old friend of Edward." I managed to sputter out. This woman's demeanor was almost terrifying. She turned back into the house and shouted, 

"Eddy, Tom is here to see you!." Slowly, a familiar gaunt figure shuffled towards the doorway. He wrapped his arm around the woman's shoulder, and I had to hold in a gasp. Standing before me was none other than Edward Wallace. However, something had changed about him. The aura of repulsion he had once carried about him had vanished. All that was left was a smiling blonde man with unusually tan skin.

 "Aaaaaaaah, Thomas. So glad you could make it. How have you been?", he asked me as we walked inside. 

"I've been fine, Ed. But I'm sure you know enough about what's happened to me recently. I haven't heard from you in almost a decade. How've you been?" I replied. 

"Ohohoh, right. You have no idea what's happened in the past 8 years. Well, I suppose I should enlighten you. But first I shall show you to the living room and prepare for us some coffee." He led me down a couple hallways, eventually opening up into a fairly luxurious den. There were three couches, a flat screen TV, and a real fireplace. How exotic. However, what caught my attention the most were the bookshelves that lined the walls. After my host excused himself to grab us some refreshments, I began to peruse the library. I figured, knowing Edward, that the books would be interesting if not totally incomprehensible. I slowly began to realize, however, as I moved from shelf to shelf, that this was maybe the most boring library I had ever seen. Nothing of any literary challenge had presented itself. It was all either bland romance novels, books on taxes and accounting and whatnot, or fiction that even a public library would be ashamed to put on display. I was so wrapped up in my judgments that I hadn't heard another figure enter the room. A shrill voice pierced the air.

 "There's an intruder! An intruder! An intruder in our house. Mama!!!" I turned around to see a girl that couldn't have been older than 7 standing in the doorway, crying. The woman from the front door quickly entered the room and began to soothe the child, promptly bringing her back to wherever she had appeared from. Almost as soon as those two had departed, Edward appeared. In his hands he clenched a silver coffee tray. We both took our seats on the couch, and he began his story.

 "Ah, well, it all began right after I arrived here. At first, I was as mortified as I had been when I was younger. I had truly hated this town back then, and now I just can't understand why. Anyways. I came to see my sick mother in the house she had bought with retirement funds. She had a brain tumor, Tommy. She wasn't going to live past November. I stayed there to comfort her. Slowly, she descended into lunacy. She began to say things about ants in her brain and how I had been right about hating this town. I simply ignored it as the ramblings of a madwoman. On November 3rd, she passed on to the next life. I was there at her funeral. It was Dios de los Muertos on that day, if you'd believe it. I went back to the house and began to pack my things when I heard a knocking at my door. A freak snowstorm had hit, and had blocked all the roads leading in and out of town. I was forced to stay there another night. Simply mortified, I couldn't sleep that night. The next day I decided to venture into town. Alas, there was nothing of interest there. Just the same chains you see everywhere. So, I began to head home. It was then that I was stopped by a simply beautiful young woman. We began to talk, and she decided to give me a gift due to the troubles the weather had caused me. It was a piece of cake. I decided there was no harm in accepting such a present, so I took it home and ate it. The very next day, I came down with a terrible fever. The young woman and her family took me into their care. They gave me medicine and clothes and made sure I didn't do anything dangerous. I had lost my sanity during those days, they said. I wrote odd things and put them in odd places. Notes addressed to my future self or something along those lines. Anyways, it seems they made sure to take most of the letters down. They feared that seeing any of them would reduce me back into the state of shock that had left me bedridden so long. I was sick for three months, Tommy, and over the course of those three months I fell in love with that young woman. Her name is Katherine, by the way. I stayed in town, in my mother's old house. We dated, fell in love, and married. I got a job doing tax returns at the local H&R Block, and Katherine worked as a painter. Soon, we bought this house. Not long after, Katherine became pregnant with Samantha. She quit full time painting to look after the kid, but she still does it in her free time. That brings us to the present. Here I am, living a happy life." 

The speech had knocked the wind out of me, to say the least. It was an absurd amount of information to process at one time. I slowly began to connect the dots while sipping my coffee. Ed went on about how I could save more money with his damn tax firm, and how he could snag me a special discount. But I wasn't paying any attention to that. I was more thinking of what had happened to Ed's mother. It reminded me of something I had read ages ago. One of the ramblings in the books Ed sent me. How they keep you in by forcing you to stay, whether through debt or through manipulating the weather or anything. They would do anything to get their hands on new test subjects. I had no idea as to who 'they' were, but I began to have frightful notions about the town around me. The rest of the day passed without event. Ed had prepared accommodations for me in the attic, so I headed up there to unpack. My lodgings had an almost frightening aura to them. Dingy, poorly lit, and wooden. Definitely not the kind of place you would want to sleep. However, I found them almost comforting. Something that wasn't a complete carbon copy. At least, I didn't think it was.

 My dreams that night were plagued with night terrors and images of demons emerging from fiery brimstone cracks. The next morning, the entire family (Me included) sat down to breakfast. Katherine had made pancakes. However, I didn't eat much. I had lost my appetite the night before. So, I made polite conversation with Edward as the fruits of the housewife's labors slowly went cold. We had decided the night before that today Ed would give me a tour of the town. So, we hopped in the silver Prius and began to explore the town. He slowly drove past the various strip malls, explaining in detail the services offered by each niche of capitalist hubris. Oddly enough, he sped by things that were far more interesting. At least to me. For one, he totally ignored a ruined house that showed signs of habitation. He sped past an unmarked cement building that emitted a bad aura. The straw that broke the camel's back, however, and the sight that made me force Ed to stop the car, was the nuclear power plant on the edge of town. 

"Hey, Ed, didn't you want to work at one of those places when you were younger?" I asked. I was genuinely curious as to why he had taken up a job distributing tax returns rather than engineering an atomic reactor.

 "Hmm? Oh, that? I was just joking around about that.", he replied almost robotically. We spent the rest of the day driving around the outskirts of town, admiring the scenery. We stopped at the local Denny's for dinner before heading back to the house for some relaxation time. While I lounged on the couch, Ed spring an unexpected question onto me. 

"Say, Tommy, you wouldn't happen to still have those books I sent you, would ya?" he said in a relaxed tone that seemed almost serious. I was filled with an immense feeling of dread. I felt like it would not be in my best interests to tell him yes.

 "Ha, I had nearly forgotten about those. Yeah, I threw em out ages ago." I tried to not sound or look concerned. Either I am a very good actor, or Ed is a better actor than me.

 "Oh, alright then." He sounded almost disappointed. I decided to head up to bed not long after. However, my sleep would not go uninterrupted. Around 2 in the morning, I awoke to loud noises coming from downstairs. I crept out of the attic, curious as to what was going on. Downstairs, I saw something most disturbing. Ed had been tied to a chair, and was struggling. Katherine was slowly injecting something into his jugular vein. I fled the scene before I could react. Something bad was going on here. I knew I had to get out of town ASAP so that I could tell the authorities. But I felt bad leaving Ed here, alone with whatever it is that's going on. I woke up early the next day. I decided first to explore the old wooden house that had raised my curiosity. I hopped into my Ferrari and drove down the winding roads until I reached the pile of wood that was at one point called a house. As I got out of my car and walked towards the ruins, I felt as if I was being watched. The hills have eyes and all that it implies. When I reached the main debris pile, I rummaged for a good hour. I had no idea as to why this place intrigued me so much. I suppose it was a guy feeling that led me there. After an hour of fruitless digging, I decided that the home was a lost cause.

 As I walked towards my car, I tripped over a pile of wood I hadn't noticed in my exhausted state. When I got up and dusted myself off, I noticed something odd. Some gleaming metal in the mass of plant matter. I decided it wouldn't hurt to check it out, and began to unbury it. No sooner had I started moving logs a trio of figures emerged from the woods in front of me. All of them seemed very old. Their eyes were possibly the most curious part about them, as they seemed to glow a golden yellow. The one leading the trio stopped the other two and began to talk. 

"Traveler, I recommend you leave this town soon. Nothing good will come of staying here. However, if you unbury that thing",he motioned towards the piece of metal,"there will be no turning back. They will not let you leave. What is it you choose?" Of course, I was immediately confused. Why was everything so dramatic and black or white? What had I done to deserve this warning? Just what the hell was going on in this town? The rational side of me reasoned the best thing to do would be to bail out of town ASAP. The archaeologist in me won over in the end, and I unburied what was now evidently a key. What it was doing here, I had no idea. I felt tired after that whole incident, and decided to head back to Ed's house. When I arrived, it was 10 am. The family had just sat down to brunch. I felt a sudden urge to ask Ed something. 

"Say, Ed, whatever happened to your mother's place?", I inquired. His face turned sullen. 

"Ah, yes. We drove by it yesterday. It was destroyed in a fire some years ago. Very sad." he returned to eating. I began to connect the dots. But now I had to be cautious. Things were getting deep. After a day of avoiding the family, I excused myself to the attic. While I was studying the key, I noticed something most peculiar about it. The material it was made out of bore a striking resemblance to the lock on the purple journal. I began to pace. What to do, what to do? Should I open it? I recalled the note. Was this a desperate measure? Ed seemed happy here. I didn't want to take that away from him. However, there was no ignoring what I saw last night. Maybe it was a kink thing? No, definitely not. I paced and paced and paced. At one point, however, I was so deep in thought I ran into a low set banister. I fell backwards, disturbing the few pieces of furniture in the attic. My impact had caused the bookshelf to fall down. I struggled to put it back up when I noticed something odd. Where it had once stood, there was a note surrounded by a rectangle free of debris. 

I decided my best option was to take it and right the bookshelf before anyone came to investigate. I waited an hour for all the noises and lights in the house to turn off. After 15 minutes of total silence, I took out the envelope. On the front, in Edward's familiar handwriting, was my name. My curiosity was piqued. Why was a letter that was evidently ancient due to it's location and state of yellowing addressed to me, when Ed claims to have forgotten about me until he saw the news report? I took out my Swiss army knife and cut it open. It read: 

Tommy, Desperate times have come upon us. I have been poisoned? No. Something? Maybe. The ruling body of this town, Thomas, they're they're they're they're. They have a hold on me and I they gavem me a fever that cake was l;acd with ssomethng. Now they have an excuse to pump me full of drugs and convert me into a goddamn pod person. ogmdman pod people are everywhere.E it kills you eventuall. It's what happened to motherr. The radio waves ithey send out from that damnable tsotne building tommy. then riado waves influnece you on once ytheyve established a footold in you mind. Don't eat the food. theyre dkeoeododestroying all my letters.i OI HOpe you dindfind this before it's too late. I mad e ap lan just in cas this thing happen. I have harbored a susopicion bou this or mnay years an and its confirmed, tommy! im not insane. i was engineeered, like this, you know. to be a repulsive monster. some experiemn by th cia or whoever the hell is running this. the books tommy. dot let me see thiem dont dont dont dont. run if you can but if you cant then fight your way out of this hellscape. i can fee l them isnide my head tommy. i hope you can sav trshis damnntown 

-the artist formerly known as edward wallace 

This letter shocked me, and fueled the growing sense of paranoia I had about my surroundings. I began to realize that if some big organization really was running this than I had no choice but to somehow put an end to this. I had no idea how. I decided the best choice would be to hide these sensitive materials in my knapsack and head to sleep. The fourth day was when I decided to take action. I ate with the family and left for town hall. Maybe I could glean some information from the official source, however biased it may be. There was practically no wait for the mayor. If Ed's crackpot theories were right, that's because the theoretical 'they' decide the emotions of the townsfolk. No unhappiness. I entered the mayor's office and took a seat. The mayor was a short and fat man with a withering toupee and a voice like sandpaper. I started off the exchange. "Mr. Mayor, what can you tell me about the concrete building on the outskirts of town? I'm a journalist and I'd like to do a report on the local sights and attractions." "Ohohoho, you can't fool me Mr. Frost. I've seen you on the news! But, I suppose I'll let this little lie slide for the sake of our visiting celebrity. Yes, that building isn't open to the public. It's some kind of radio station. You see, it's the wave of the future. A radio station that doesn't need an antennae. How wonderful. Yes, it is government owned. I believe it exists solely to test the new technology, so don't expect to tune into it. It's on a private frequency. Ultraviolet or ultraviolent or whatever those scientists call it." The mayor's phrasing disturbed me just a bit, but I figured that was the most information I would be able to glean from him. I stepped out of the building and rode out to the concrete, bunker-like structure. I began to investigate it, as it didn't have an immediately apparent entrance. However, after searching the nearby woods for half an hour, I discovered a door embedded in the ground. I tried to pry it open with my bare hands, but that was a fruitless effort. Using some nearby stones and sticks, along with that ever-handy swiss army knife, I was able to construct a pulley that managed to open the door by just a crack. Surprisingly, after it opened a bit it was as light as a feather. Truly, technology is amazing. I descended into the bunker, ever cautious of where I tread. 

This place had a bad aura about it. It was dimly lit, but I managed to make my way in the direction I believed the structure to be in. There seemed to be a series of tunnels beneath the town, leading anywhere and everywhere. It had disturbing implications that I had yet to witness. Eventually I reached directly below the structure. The mayor, it seems, had been lied to, to an extent. There was a working antennae, but it seemed to be buried underground. It was hooked up to all sorts of odd machines I couldn't possibly recognize, and I had a headache just from standing in the same room as it. That was when I noticed the security camera. I really didn't like that. I fled as soon as I saw it. Technically, what I had just done was illegal. The sun had set by the time I reached Ed's house. I noticed some black sedans parked out front, so I stopped my car several blocks away and snuck in through the back door. I saw Ed and Katherine talking to some men in black suits. I slowly ascended the stairs, checking on my belongings. The room was a mess. Everything had been turned upside down. Thankfully, I had what they wanted on me at the time. As I slowly looked around to assess the damage, I heard a shrill voice. "The intruder is back!" the little girl screamed. Great. I quickly went into panic mode. As the men in black and the rest of the Warren family began to ascend the stairs, I looked for an exit. I managed to budge the window open enough to climb out and descend the three story house. I fled my car and ran into the woods. 

The following 24 hours were a blur of adrenaline as I hid from the search parties and the spotlights and I recall being referred to as a threat to national security and labelled a terrorist and mother of god and I kept running and running. On the morning of the sixth day I awoke in a different place from where I fell asleep and immediately panicked. I was silenced by those same glowing eyed figures from before, who suddenly appeared before me. "So, I take it you've come to realize what's going on here?" the slender female asked. "Y..Yeah." "We realized that a long time ago. Before you were born. Before we were born. The experiments on Mt. Spring date back to the early days of the Cold War, if you didn't know. Besides general population manipulation, there were various experiments. Some were supposed to be psychological weapons, like your friend Edward. Some were born as laborers. Us? We were born as intelligence officers. Far too intelligent for our own good. Once we became self aware, they tried to get rid of us. It failed, of course. So here we are. In hiding. They've managed to accelerate the passage of time for us, so it shouldn't be too long before we pass on. But you. That purple goddamn notebook can put an end to all of this. Free this town, son." The leader said in an imperious tone before all 3 faded into darkness. I checked my knapsack. The key and journal were still there. I began to decipher... 

Ed had apparently planned this a long time ago: the utter nuclear annihilation of Mt. Spring. I suppose it isn't surprising, as he was a psychological weapon, but still. He played his part far too well. Using some insanely obscure psychohistory techniques, he was able to guess the entire future of the power plant on the hill for 15 years after the journal was hidden. All that was left was for me to play my part. Over the course of the day, I planned my route and strategy; luckily, Ed had already done the most difficult parts of the planning. All that was left for me to do was pull it off. I decided I'd do it the very next day. I decided to get an early night in. When I awoke, I began my journey. Avoiding patrol patterns and various sheriff's deputies, I made my way to the plant. Avoiding the guard detail was difficult if not impossible, but Ed had planned ahead for this. I just needed to get my timing perfectly right. After three hours of dodging guards and infiltrating security (A majority of that time was made up of me waiting for patrols to pass me) I made it to the central control room. Pulling out the purple notebook, I began to follow the instructions Ed gave me. It took me a good half hour to get everything done. The strain of pulling off complicated system overrides and time sensitive power shutdowns all the while avoiding any and all living beings can really take a lot out of a guy. But, finally, all was done. The only thing left for me to do was press the confirmation button after this prompt appeared

 [confirm basin destruction?] [Y / N]

 As soon as I pressed yes, a great rumbling overtook the building. I realized I had to get out of there ASAP. I began sprinting through the hallways as I heard the nuclear reactor being ejected into the valley below. Soon, Mt. Spring and the horrors associated with it would be blown to smithereens. I reached the outside of the plant and began running through the woods in the opposite direction of the town. A program installed inside the reactor's command processor began the sequence that would lead to annihilation. The most frustrating part of the whole deal was managing to disable the firewalls put in place to prevent such actions. But, it worked out in the end. I must've been about 10 miles away from the site of impact when it went up. I was knocked prone by the explosion. When I woke up, I was in custody. I was asked to give a statement. I refused. I knew there was no way in hell they would believe me. I wouldn't believe me. Besides, they were owned by the same government perpetrating those awful crimes. I was put under house arrest while they put the trial together. I know what will happen to me. I'll inevitably be found guilty, and tortured or executed or even worse. They know that I did it. So, this is my adieu to the world at large. Death is preferable to whatever they might have in store for me, experiments or otherwise. I hope that this manifesto makes it to the light of day. I'm sorry to the families of those I killed. They're at my door now. The police. I have to end it now. Goodbye. Goodbye. I'm sorry, Ed.

#cobra text #cc's stories

[random-ffandom]

I did it! I’m so so sorry it took so long. Dear @ashstars this is your @feastoffortuna2017 gift. I hope you have a great summer. Enjoy!

Also, suggestion of domestic abuse, mention of blood and one or two swearwords ahead. Be warned.

Percy always loved the idea of soulmates. Of spending life with someone who is meant for you. Even years of living under one roof with Smelly Gabe and seeing how he treats Sally couldn't change anything. He just knew that somewhere out there is a girl waiting for him. He couldn’t wait to find her.

It was the first warm, truly spring day this year, so Sally decided to celebrate it byl picking up Percy from the day care a bit earlier. Sharp black letters on her collarbone visible under the wide neckline of her light, summer dress. Percy looked at them curiously.

“What does it say, mommy?” he asked.

“‘Don't cry my dear, I will came back.’ It was the last thing your father said to me” Sally looked at her child with sad smile.

“He was your soulmate?”

“Yes, my dear, he was my first and biggest love.”

“So why did you marry Gabe, mommy?”

“People don't always get to spend whole life with their soulmate, Percy. Sometimes it is just how it is.”

Percy frowned.

“Do you regret?”

Sally looked at her little boy, eyeing her with all seriousness of five year old who try to understand adult world. How could she tell him about long sleepless nights, when Poseidon didn’t come back, nights she spent crying, pregnant and and alone? Or about nights she tried to even breath silently, to not attract Gabe’s atencion? How could she tell him about all her regrets? No, that are not things mother should discuss with her child. Nor now, nor ever.

“Not even one bit, honey.”

But the topic of soulmates fascinated Percy, so it wasn’t long for him to start asking questions again.

“So, mommy, when person finds their soulmate, their tattoo changes to the last words they say to them, right?”

Sally finished washing dishes, dried her hands and turn to face her son.

“Yes, honey. That’s how you know they’re the one.” she answered.

“And what is it before?”

“Their first words to you”

“And what were dad’s first words to you?”

Sally grinned.

“Oh, it was terrible. Imagine spending first eighteen years of your life with ‘Are you an octopus? Because you octopi my thoughts’ on your body.”

Percy giggled. He ran back to his room and later this evening Sally, standing at the door, saw him playing with toy cars and muttering ‘octopi my thoughts’ under his breath.

Learning to read put Percy through hell. He tried. Swear to God, he tried his best but he just couldn’t do it. Letters seemed to wander around the page. He spent countless hours sitting with Sally at the kitchen table, trying to put them together.  The only thing that made him keep trying and trying again and again and again was the promise of finally knowing what the tattoo is saying. He asked his mother about it repeatedly, but Sally always would shake her head and say he has to find out himself.

And he finally did. It was the night before Christmas, Sally finally made him brush his teeth and go to bed, but he was still lying with his torchlight on, staring at letters on his stomach. The first one was “S”, that was sure. He squinted. “S… S… E… Se… Sea!” His heart beated faster. Not only that he managed to read the first part, but apparently it has something to do with sea. Does she love sea as much as he do? or maybe they’re going to meet at the seaside? Or… He went to sleep excited and happy. It was better than anything that would happen during this Christmas anyway.

“Seaweed brain”. And what is that supposed to mean? Percy glared at his tattoo suspiciously. But no. This time he surely have gotten it right. It's strange, yes. It's incomprehensible too. But these are first words of his soulmate. But it's good, this way he will find her easier. Right?

Percy came out slamming the door. Blood was rushing in his veins and humming in his ears. He was mad. More. He was furious. His fights with Gabe became lately more frequent and more aggressive. Percy longingly counted the days dividing him from leaving to college. Muttering under his breath he shoved his hands into his pockets, kicked the rock and moved towards the subway. He decided that he’ll hang out with his best friend Grover for some time. Maybe he could spend the night at his place too. But it's Saturday, so Grover is probably out in town with his soulmate - girlfriend Juniper protesting for the Great Panda or some other Greenpeace-y thing. Percy didn't have mind or nerves to search for them through the whole city so he decided he will just crush on Grover’s doormat and wait for the friend to come home.

All those thoughts ran through his head while he rode down the escalator. Like on an autopilot he moved toward the platform. And then he hit something. Something meaning in this case very beautiful girl with light blonde curls and stormy gray eyes. But real storm was yet about to start.

“Seaweed brain!” she shouted and his stomach suddenly did a flip. “What makes you think you can just wander around and knock people off their feet?”

She was furious and he was speechless. This girl, this pretty, pretty girl just called him seaweed brain! Is she his soulmate? Is he really this lucky? He wanted to take off his shirt and check the tattoo, but he couldn't. After all they were in subway and she was shouting at him. Wait! She was shouting at him! Realizing he zoned out, he quickly shook his head and helped her get up.

“I’m so sorry” he said with heart in his throat. Quickly! He has to say something or she will disappear in the crowd and he’ll lose his soulmate forever. “May I make up for that and buy you a coffee?”

He watched her face softens and, God, how is this humanly possible to be that beautiful?  

“Given that, thanks to you, I’m almost late for my lecture, not now. But if tomorrow the offer will still stand, I’d love to.” She smiled kindly.

“You have lectures on Saturday? What kind of course do you take?”

“Extramural studies, second course” She answered

“You impress me. So, coffee tomorrow. How will I find you?”

She quickly pulled a sheet of paper out of her notebook and scribed something on it.

“That’s an adress of my favourite coffee shop. Tomorrow at five p.m.?”

Percy couldn’t believe his luck.

“Yeah, great!”

“See you then, Seeweed Brain”

“I’ll be waiting, Wise Girl”

Grover didn’t even had a chance to say a word. Percy rushed through the door and started taking off his shirt.

“Woah, easy dude. You’re not exactly my type, you know?”

“Shut up, I think I found her” Percy snapped back staring at his abdomen. He felt his knees weakening and he fell on the floor. “Or maybe I didn’t.” The tattoo still was saying “Seaweed Brain”

“Could you, just for a second stop being a fucking drama queen and tell me what’s going on?” Grover looked far from happy with his friend almost sobbing on his floor.

“I ran into the most beautiful and clever girl I’ve ever met and she called me Seaweed Brain. I thought she’s the one, so I asked her out, but my tattoo hasn’t changed. What do I do now?”

Grover sighed.

“You asked her out?”

“Yup, but I’m not coming.”

“And why? From what you’re saying, she’s a keeper.”

“Yeah, but she’s not HER”

Grover rolled his eyes.

“No, she isn’t but she’s smart and pretty. You don’t have to marry her or anything. Just go out with her and have some good time.”

Percy noded.

And here we are. Percy Jackson is waiting in coffee shop for a date he doesn’t want. He came a little early but the girl is late, so he is almost finishing his tea wondering if she will show up at all. Then he spots her in the crowd across the street. She’s rushing, her hair shining in the afternoon sun. She sees him to, notice him just the second before stepping on the roadway. She raises her hand to wave. And then the car hits her. Even years later Percy always could recall every second of what was happening. She flies few meters like a rag doll. She hits the ground. Her hair are scattered on the ground. The dark and thick trickle of blood runs down her chin. He runs to her, kneels beside her and takes her face in his hands. Her eyelids flutter.

“Seaweed Brain!” Her voice is rough and broken but she forces herself to smile. And then she close her eyes and everything goes silent.

Two realizations hit Percy at once. He doesn’t even know her name. And, sometimes in very rare cases, the tattoo never needs to change.

#fof2017 #percy jackson #percabeth #angst

[thesrhughes]

Cosmic Horror vs. Urban Horror

New Post has been published on http://thesrhughes.com/cosmic-horror-vs-urban-horror/

Cosmic Horror vs. Urban Horror

Allegedly, Cosmic Horror and Urban Horror are different genres…however, as more and more authors genre-blend, genre-hop, and layer thematic motifs on top of each other, the lines have (thankfully) blurred.

They are more alike, my friends, than they are unalike.

Cosmic Horror

Howard Phillips Lovecraft is considered the godfather of Cosmic Horror the same way William Gibson is considered the godfather of Cyberpunk– they might not have invented it, but they sure as hell defined it.

Lovecraft’s main point of terror was that of smallness and unimportance.  In cosmic horror, an indifferent universe manifests itself in the form of aliens, supernatural foes, or other bizarro entities.  The tales recount the cruel indifference of space and time.  Nihilism begets mind-breaking terror.  The human brain can’t process our own unimportance, so we go mad.

Cthulhu isn’t an alien, Cthulhu is a metaphor for monstrous indifference and cosmic vastness.

Then again, monstrous indifference doesn’t need monstrous countenance.  The case of Catherine “Kitty” Genovese proves that.  So does ongoing indifference and complicity in a thousand areas of modern life.  In fact, for many people in the world, “indifference would be such a relief.” (Victor LaValle, The Ballad of Black Tom.)

Which brings us to the topic of…

Urban Horror

Urban Horror derives from Urban Gothic, which, of course, derives from general Gothicism/Victorian Gothic, etc.  We can trace the roots of this particular devil back to Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, and, arguably, earlier.  The focus of these tales generally resides in dark flaws and sinister proclivities in human nature, usually with a supernatural bent.  Because of the genre’s usual examination of the darker threads of mankind’s cloth, the stories tend to be more personal and character-driven than the machinations of cosmic horror.

Urban Horror focuses its lens on mankind, not on the indifferent universe around us…or, well, maybe that’s not quite true.

In many Urban Horror stories, monstrous indifference is merely part of modern society.  A string of murders goes uninvestigated.  People go missing without anyone looking for them.  Often, agents of the law in such stories are either incompetent or on the take, just as likely to be working for the villain as against the villain.  In Urban Horror, widescale indifference is standard…and where indifference isn’t present, maliciousness replaces it.  In fact, the crushing indifference of cosmic horror is often just as present in its urban counterpart, but whereas indifference is a cause for terror in Lovecraftian cosmicism, it’s barely shrug-worthy in many Urban Horror tales.  Of course the universe doesn’t care–people barely care.

But, unlike in cosmic horror, the villain is almost always human, humanoid, or taking on the glamour/semblance of humanity.  The villains, you see, look just like us.  In many ways, they are us.

The Monster at the End of the Story

There are many commonalities between Cosmic and Urban Horror.  Crushing indifference, monstrous cruelty, and tragic disasters that go unnoticed.

Lovecraft has been dead some 80 years.  Frankenstein is nearly 200.

Times have changed, man.

Let’s look at the biggest difference I considered between these genres: the monster at the end of the story.  In Cosmic Horror, the monster manifests the cruel indifference of the cosmos.  In Urban Horror, the monster represents mankind’s darker natures, our perpetrated evils.  But perhaps even these beasts have more in common than we initially assume…

I’ve already written about the inhuman monsters grinding us away in their teeth, but I’ll go over it again briefly now.  There are vast monstrosities destroying people’s lives, and both the universe and the world-at-large are mostly indifferent to their deeds.  Most people could easily recall at least four of their names: War, Famine, Pestilence, Death.  But what about the hungry Lovecraftian god of Nationalism?  What about the festering, many-appendaged grotesquery of White Supremacy?  What about the crawling, fungal consciousness of Revenge, spreading its power airborne at the site of every recrimination?

Cthulhu is a metaphor, remember.  So is Dagon.

In Stephen King’s It, the monster slumbers for 27 years.  How long slumbers the ravening beast of Misogyny?  It doesn’t.

This is a story, in brief: a cult of killers ritualistically sacrifices victims to a squamous god of Nationalism.  Our protagonists find themselves drawn into the dangerous plot, twisting through a nightmare of localized madness.  The cult is routed.  The cult leader is the monster at the end of the story.  Our protagonists stop the cult leader.  The squamous god of Nationalism slumbers, but not for very long.  Our protagonists observe the night sky, understanding the smallness of their efforts against the vast shadows of mankind’s character.  An epilogue: two cultists escape, driving westward, vowing revenge against a system designed to oppress their beliefs.

Cthulhu, the Darkness of Human Nature

Something roars from an unseen sky and cataclysm rends the earth.  You hear screaming.  Rubble smolders, guttering black ash from outside your window.  An eruption deafens you, and some of the screams die in suddenly muted throats.  You scramble for an exit.  Desperate, staccato gunfire surrounds you.  An apocalypse rages through your town.  This happens, somewhere, almost every day.  The stars don’t notice.  Neither do most people.

Vincent: …you ever heard of Rwanda? Max: Yes, I know Rwanda. Vincent: Well, tens of thousands killed before sundown. Nobody’s killed people that fast since Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Did you bat an eye, Max? Max: What? Vincent: Did you join Amnesty International, Oxfam, Save the Whales, Greenpeace, something? No. I off one fat Angelino and you throw a hissy fit. Max: Man, I don’t know any Rwandans. Vincent: You don’t know the guy in the trunk, either.

—Collateral (2004)

He attacked her with a knife at 2:30 AM, to kill a woman.  She screamed, cried out, and ran.  He followed, stabbing her two more times as she shrieked, “Oh my God, he stabbed me!  Help me!”  On the ground, then, he continued stabbing.  He used both a knife and a personal appendage, his existence a force of violence against her.  A man shouted, almost directionless, “Let that girl alone!”  Moseley fled the scene with $49.  Sophia Farrar found the raped and bloodied woman and held her until police and emergency workers arrived.  The exact time of death is unclear, but the woman died either in Farrar’s arms or in the back of the ambulance, unrevivable.  At least 17 people had heard the screams or seen the attack, only 4 or 5 responded.

The earth orbits the sun, waiting to be eaten.  One day, the sun will glower its molten countenance, spread its hungry jaws, and devour the whole world’s history.

The sun is not the monster at the end of the stories.

#cosmic horror #essay #horror #metaphor #monsters #urban horror #writing

[tragicbooks]

7 real actions you can take after the Women's March and 1 you shouldn't.

<br>

24 hours after Donald Trump took the oath of office, millions of people around the world took to the streets. It was the biggest protest in U.S. history, and it took place on every single continent. Yes, including Antarctica.

Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images.

The message of the Women's March was clear: We the people will stand up for what we believe in, to protect our rights and to protect the rights of others who are in jeopardy under the Trump administration. Over 2 million people showed up to do just that.

Whether you attended a women's march or just watched the coverage, it was hard not to be moved and inspired.

Celebrities, politicians, influencers, and people of every age, gender, and nationality marched in solidarity for the rights of women, immigrants, Muslims, the LGBTQ community, and other groups that Trump as president has promised to further marginalize.

As great as it was, the march certainly was not the entirety of the resistance. It was just the beginning.

If you want to carry on the work of the Women's March, here are seven things you can do right now:

(Plus one thing you shouldn't do.)

1. Follow the march organizers — national and local — on social media.

The Women's March on Washington was put together by a fierce group of badass women who will be the first to tell you that what's really important is what happens next. In fact, the Women's March website has already released a 10 Actions/100 Days list of things you can do to carry the message forward.

Tamika Mallory, Carmen Perez, Bob Bland, and Linda Sarsour are four of the main organizers for the D.C. march, and there are many others. Follow them on Facebook and Twitter to get updates and information on how you can be a part of the key next steps.

Gloria Steinem (middle) with Women's March organizers in Washington, D.C. Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images.

Many of the march organizers have been facing harassment online, and there are currently hashtag campaigns to support them and stand with them in solidarity.

If you attended a march in your town, find out who organized it and get in touch with them, too. They'll be able to tell you about future organizing efforts local to you.

2. There are going to be more opportunities to march. Start spreading the word.

Activists are already planning to march on Saturday, April 15, 2017, in an effort to get Trump to release his tax returns to the public.

Let's plan a nationwide #DivestDonald and #showusyourtaxes protest for Saturday, April 15 https://t.co/Wo9DY9eEGP

— Jennifer Taub (@jentaub) January 22, 2017

That march can be as big as the Women's March, but it's going to take some serious on-the-ground organizing. In other words, it's going to take people like you talking about it and getting others excited.

I ENDORSE THIS 100%. This is the next march. This is the next demonstration. Please RT, everyone. Every city. https://t.co/lgVLknPnnG

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 23, 2017

There is another march planned in April for climate action, and many others will be popping up. Keep an eye out, and keep others informed.

3. Call your representatives.

I know — you're probably tired of hearing it, right?

Well, think of it this way: The next time someone tells you to call your representatives, wouldn't it be nice to say, "I already do. All the time. Because I'm a person who understands the power of raising my voice for the issues I care about, and I know that my elected officials are paid to listen to me."

Remember, just because your elected official isn't from your political party, that doesn't mean you can't call them. Once they're elected, their job is to serve all their constituents. So go ahead and make your voice heard.

To find your representative's contact info, click here.

4. Become a member or volunteer for organizations that need support.

You've heard the call for donations before. Organizations like (deep breath) ... Planned Parenthood, the National Resources Defense Council, the Center for Reproductive Rights, the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, the International Refugee Assistance Project, The Trevor Project for LGBTQ youth, the NAACP, the National Network of Abortion Funds, Black Girls Code, the ACLU, the National Women's Law Center, NARAL, Girls Write Now, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Purple Purse, All Above All, Moms Demand Action, No Kid Hungry, Greenpeace, the Southern Poverty Law Center, ProPublica, The Anti-Defamation League, the Human Rights Campaign, Americans for Immigrant Justice, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, Lambda Legal, Know Your IX, Immigration Impact, Emily's List, the Climate Science Legal Defense Fund, Everytown for Gun Safety, GLAAD, and so many more, are all going to need a lot of support over the next four years.

A one-time donation might not be enough. Consider a monthly recurring donation (if it's a small amount, you might not even notice it), or at least sign up for the email newsletter that a lot of these organizations have. That way you'll regularly get information on how to support the issues you care about.

Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards speaks at the Women's March. Photo by Andrew Caballero-Reynolds/AFP/Getty Images.

If you can't donate? Look for volunteer opportunities. These organizations will need all the help they can get.

Planned Parenthood even has a thorough, itemized list of things you can do right now to stand with them.

5. Form a rapid-response team with your friends.

If the Women's March taught us anything, it's that those of us who reject the policies proposed by the incoming administration are not alone. There are millions of us, and we're all over the world.

One way to make sure you actually have the time to take action is to gather a handful of friends and form a rapid-response team. That means that every time you want to mobilize (to attend a protest or volunteer or start a phone bank to protest a specific piece of legislation), you have a group of people you can rely on to join you.

Do it right now! Start a group message on your phone, and get your friends involved. First mission: Come up with a badass team name.

6. Start playing politics.

Tired of all these politicians messing with your lives and enacting laws that you either disagree with or are directly endangered by? Yeah, there's a lot of that going around.

The thing is, politics is a team sport, and you're on a team whether you like it or not. You might as well start playing.

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

Vote in your local elections and campaign and volunteer for politicians you like. Vote in the midterms in 2018! This nifty site called Swing Left lets you look up your nearest "swing district" — where the last election was decided by a thin margin. Focusing on those areas means you can make a real, political difference.

Most of all, don't forget you can run for office too. Consider it even more seriously if you're a woman, a person of color, and/or LGBTQ. There are resources available to help you with the specific steps and challenges you will face.

Be the change, diversity, and representation you want to see in the world.

7. Read up. On everything.

Now that the GOP has a clear runway to do pretty much whatever they want, they're going to be busy. An important part of making sure your voice is heard when you disagree with their proposals is to keep track of what's going on. You'll need to know when the Senate is voting on that bill you hate and when the law that takes your 3-year-old's teddy bear away goes into effect.

That means reading the news, the real news, and supporting the real journalism that will be helping to get information to the public.

One thing you shouldn't do? Don't assume others will act.

If there's one thing you should not do in the coming years, it's sit back and assume others will act for you. The Women's March was a success because people got involved and actually showed up.

They didn't just say, "Oh, it's great that someone's doing that. I hope it's a success." They got on planes, they crashed on couches, they brought friends, they showed up for real.

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images.

We're going to need more of that. A lot more. Don't assume that organizing, resisting, and fighting is someone else's job. We're all in this together.

Whatever you do, do something.

It's not going to be easy, but standing up for the things you believe in is important and necessary. It's what we all signed up for when we decided not to move to Canada after the election.

So pull yourself up, and look at as many pictures of the Women's March around the world as you can until you realize that you have the power to make change.

<br>

[socialviralnews]

7 real actions you can take after the Women's March and 1 you shouldn't.

<br>

24 hours after Donald Trump took the oath of office, millions of people around the world took to the streets. It was the biggest protest in U.S. history, and it took place on every single continent. Yes, including Antarctica.

Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images.

The message of the Women's March was clear: We the people will stand up for what we believe in, to protect our rights and to protect the rights of others who are in jeopardy under the Trump administration. Over 2 million people showed up to do just that.

Whether you attended a women's march or just watched the coverage, it was hard not to be moved and inspired.

Celebrities, politicians, influencers, and people of every age, gender, and nationality marched in solidarity for the rights of women, immigrants, Muslims, the LGBTQ community, and other groups that Trump as president has promised to further marginalize.

As great as it was, the march certainly was not the entirety of the resistance. It was just the beginning.

If you want to carry on the work of the Women's March, here are seven things you can do right now:

(Plus one thing you shouldn't do.)

1. Follow the march organizers — national and local — on social media.

The Women's March on Washington was put together by a fierce group of badass women who will be the first to tell you that what's really important is what happens next. In fact, the Women's March website has already released a 10 Actions/100 Days list of things you can do to carry the message forward.

Tamika Mallory, Carmen Perez, Bob Bland, and Linda Sarsour are four of the main organizers for the D.C. march, and there are many others. Follow them on Facebook and Twitter to get updates and information on how you can be a part of the key next steps.

Gloria Steinem (middle) with Women's March organizers in Washington, D.C. Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images.

Many of the march organizers have been facing harassment online, and there are currently hashtag campaigns to support them and stand with them in solidarity.

If you attended a march in your town, find out who organized it and get in touch with them, too. They'll be able to tell you about future organizing efforts local to you.

2. There are going to be more opportunities to march. Start spreading the word.

Activists are already planning to march on Saturday, April 15, 2017, in an effort to get Trump to release his tax returns to the public.

Let's plan a nationwide #DivestDonald and #showusyourtaxes protest for Saturday, April 15 https://t.co/Wo9DY9eEGP

— Jennifer Taub (@jentaub) January 22, 2017

That march can be as big as the Women's March, but it's going to take some serious on-the-ground organizing. In other words, it's going to take people like you talking about it and getting others excited.

I ENDORSE THIS 100%. This is the next march. This is the next demonstration. Please RT, everyone. Every city. https://t.co/lgVLknPnnG

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 23, 2017

There is another march planned in April for climate action, and many others will be popping up. Keep an eye out, and keep others informed.

3. Call your representatives.

I know — you're probably tired of hearing it, right?

Well, think of it this way: The next time someone tells you to call your representatives, wouldn't it be nice to say, "I already do. All the time. Because I'm a person who understands the power of raising my voice for the issues I care about, and I know that my elected officials are paid to listen to me."

Remember, just because your elected official isn't from your political party, that doesn't mean you can't call them. Once they're elected, their job is to serve all their constituents. So go ahead and make your voice heard.

To find your representative's contact info, click here.

4. Become a member or volunteer for organizations that need support.

You've heard the call for donations before. Organizations like (deep breath) ... Planned Parenthood, the National Resources Defense Council, the Center for Reproductive Rights, the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund, the International Refugee Assistance Project, The Trevor Project for LGBTQ youth, the NAACP, the National Network of Abortion Funds, Black Girls Code, the ACLU, the National Women's Law Center, NARAL, Girls Write Now, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Purple Purse, All Above All, Moms Demand Action, No Kid Hungry, Greenpeace, the Southern Poverty Law Center, ProPublica, The Anti-Defamation League, the Human Rights Campaign, Americans for Immigrant Justice, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, Lambda Legal, Know Your IX, Immigration Impact, Emily's List, the Climate Science Legal Defense Fund, Everytown for Gun Safety, GLAAD, and so many more, are all going to need a lot of support over the next four years.

A one-time donation might not be enough. Consider a monthly recurring donation (if it's a small amount, you might not even notice it), or at least sign up for the email newsletter that a lot of these organizations have. That way you'll regularly get information on how to support the issues you care about.

Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards speaks at the Women's March. Photo by Andrew Caballero-Reynolds/AFP/Getty Images.

If you can't donate? Look for volunteer opportunities. These organizations will need all the help they can get.

Planned Parenthood even has a thorough, itemized list of things you can do right now to stand with them.

5. Form a rapid-response team with your friends.

If the Women's March taught us anything, it's that those of us who reject the policies proposed by the incoming administration are not alone. There are millions of us, and we're all over the world.

One way to make sure you actually have the time to take action is to gather a handful of friends and form a rapid-response team. That means that every time you want to mobilize (to attend a protest or volunteer or start a phone bank to protest a specific piece of legislation), you have a group of people you can rely on to join you.

Do it right now! Start a group message on your phone, and get your friends involved. First mission: Come up with a badass team name.

6. Start playing politics.

Tired of all these politicians messing with your lives and enacting laws that you either disagree with or are directly endangered by? Yeah, there's a lot of that going around.

The thing is, politics is a team sport, and you're on a team whether you like it or not. You might as well start playing.

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

Vote in your local elections and campaign and volunteer for politicians you like. Vote in the midterms in 2018! This nifty site called Swing Left lets you look up your nearest "swing district" — where the last election was decided by a thin margin. Focusing on those areas means you can make a real, political difference.

Most of all, don't forget you can run for office too. Consider it even more seriously if you're a woman, a person of color, and/or LGBTQ. There are resources available to help you with the specific steps and challenges you will face.

Be the change, diversity, and representation you want to see in the world.

7. Read up. On everything.

Now that the GOP has a clear runway to do pretty much whatever they want, they're going to be busy. An important part of making sure your voice is heard when you disagree with their proposals is to keep track of what's going on. You'll need to know when the Senate is voting on that bill you hate and when the law that takes your 3-year-old's teddy bear away goes into effect.

That means reading the news, the real news, and supporting the real journalism that will be helping to get information to the public.

One thing you shouldn't do? Don't assume others will act.

If there's one thing you should not do in the coming years, it's sit back and assume others will act for you. The Women's March was a success because people got involved and actually showed up.

They didn't just say, "Oh, it's great that someone's doing that. I hope it's a success." They got on planes, they crashed on couches, they brought friends, they showed up for real.

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images.

We're going to need more of that. A lot more. Don't assume that organizing, resisting, and fighting is someone else's job. We're all in this together.

Whatever you do, do something.

It's not going to be easy, but standing up for the things you believe in is important and necessary. It's what we all signed up for when we decided not to move to Canada after the election.

So pull yourself up, and look at as many pictures of the Women's March around the world as you can until you realize that you have the power to make change.

<br> from Upworthy http://ift.tt/2jRW2sS via cheap web hosting

#Upworthy