#now I feel like crying again

[writerfae]

I revisited my old Big Hero Six fan blog (which I stopped running over two years ago after running it for years) and was hit with a fine wave of nostalgia

#now I feel like crying again #writer speaks

[jslittlebirdie]

Please, I just want J... I wish he could take my mind off things for only a few minutes. I feel terrible.

#stress and mood swings are killing me #now I feel like crying again #this is so dumb #I'm so tense and tired and restless #could he please hold me forever? #I wish I could just disappear #things are too much #I feel like I'm screwing everything up and like I'm not working hard enough #there's always something new I need to take care of #I'm silently screaming for him #I'm sorry for everything #oh goodness what am I saying? #maybe he should tuck me into bed or something #today sucks immensely #I only wish to be with my two beloveds right now #please... #but both are too far away #please J #I need you #vent post #self shipping #probably delete later

[coffeeworldsasaki]

Another thing that makes kaladin so painfully relatable is how much his mental illness hides his personality, because between depressive episodes and trauma he's this sarcastic little shit that smiles a lot at his friends and then the depression gets to him and all that disappears

#I'm dreading book 4 so much #my depression got worse while reading it the first time 😭 #also I don't remember exactly what but multiple times he says stuff that i think too often and having a fictional character say that l #ridiculous stuff caused by mental illness made me feel even worse #it helped! because it hit me how stupid it is and that i should avoid that type of thinking at all costs! but didn't i feel like shit for a #while #now i almost finished book 1 and book 2 has Shallan's past 😬😬😬😬😬 #can't wait to read again about her horrible childhood locked home with a violent father that take out his rage at her on others #that won't make me feel horrible at all! #it's not like i wasn't almost crying just at her getting an anxiety attack at the beginning #....these books feels awfully aimed at me fjskdks #the stormlight archive #cosmere

[homoeroticgrappling]

Danhausen tweeted this after his GCW match and I couldn't help but think about his tweet when he started looking for bookings

#reading ''danhausen is alive'' made me feel like I could cry honestly because his booking tweet made me want to sob #like HE WANTS TO FEEL ALIVE AGAIN. and now he's alive. #look what he can do when you let him actually wrestle and take him seriously! and he seems so happy compared to how frustrated he's been #tk when I get my hands on you. book danhausen better you absolute fucking moron #I'm so proud of this demon cause he works fucking hard and he deserves better but when it was clear nobody was gonna do better for him #he did it for himself #he seems as happy to be in the ring wrestling as we are to see him there and it just makes me feel big feelings #*through tears* love that danhausen #GCW #Danhausen

[fisheito]

collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo. #says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking #my immediate thought was #i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him #bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent #but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally #it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched.... #so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti. #configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying #the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias #then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought #i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him #AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND #originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went #WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN #BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing. #plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS #but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it #i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding #so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown #i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said #kuya #yakumo #yakuya

[grxceful-ly]

peter bringing mayday with him to do spider stuff because yeah, he had things to live for before--but now he has a child and he is going to raise this child and be there for her and maybe if she’s there, strapped to his chest, he’ll be more careful. he’ll consider his life almost as precious as hers. maybe bringing mayday to work is a precaution. 

#disclaimer: it's like 2am and i don't know what i just wrote because my brain won't function enough to read it over again #i also have read like zero spiderman comics so if this doesn't make sense because canon already speaks on it #i'm sorry #atsv spoilers #spiderman: across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #peter b parker #mayday #i am having thoughts #PLEASE BLOCK APPROPRIATE TAGS IF YOU DON"T WANNA BE SPOILED PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU #miles morales #into the spiderverse #spiderman #spiderman spoilers #this thought came about because i think swinging around with a child is the stupidest/coolest thing ever #and i feel like peter wouldn't do it without a reason #anyway sorry for the random change in fandoms i saw the movie tonight and it was fantastic #also #catch me crying in the theatre because peter wants his daughter to turn out like miles #OKAY IM DONE SPAMMING THE TAGS NOW BYE #across the spiderverse spoilers #spiderman across the spiderverse

[luckyblackcatxiii]

Ahahahaha.wav~ 🦋

It's the spooky month, so I'm aiming to make some new merch in accordance with the season. What better way to start it off than with a witch? I'd like to do more Umineko charms in the future, but Beatrice felt like a good place to start~ (Also it'll be 3D, here's the vision) 👇

#lucky art #umineko #umineko no naku koro ni #beatrice the golden witch #beatrice #when they cry #ushiromiya #*cackle cackle * #I've always wanted to make merch for this series and now feels like my time... #It's been 10 years since I first read this and now I get to return and read it ALL AGAIN!!! It almost feels like new now~

[rusalkii]

A while back I finally figured out how to use UBlock's element blocker and promptly went mad with power. Just now I turned off all my extensions to debug something and realized how much more useable it made everything. As soon as I see something annoying I open the Ublock popup, select the element picker, click the annoying thing, and (most of the time) the annoying thing is gone forever and I never have to think about it. So here's my shameless ad pitch for things you can do with it, other than the default "block ads":

Remove all of the UI buttons that are definitely useful for someone but that you're never going to use in your life

Remove UI buttons you use only once, like "register"

Hide the "Posts +" button in tumblr

Clear all of the information your credit card website tries to show you that you don't care about so that you can focus on the couple numbers that you do

Send those pop-up "do you want to chat!" notifications to hell, where they belong

Remove various website overlays

Remove specifically the calorie numbers on food delivery websites

Hide the comments and recommended videos sidebar on youtube

Hide promotions that an adblocker doesn't pick up on because they're native

Hide your facebook newsfeed (if you just use it for chat/events/groups)

Hide discord's sidebar when you just need one channel open and don't want to be distracted, and then unhide it when you want it back

Get rid of distracting moving elements on pages

Hide almost all of the elements on twitter except the actual tweet, if you only interact with twitter via other people's links and don't want to be sucked down the rabbit hole

Generally hide "Related!" or "See also" or "You might like!" type distractions on sites where you only want to see what you came there for, not browse

Remove all of the news from weather websites so that they can actually do their job and show you just the weather

Remove the footer text on websites no one ever reads

#i feel like there was a post going around a while back that had the phrase #reclaim your attention #or something like that #reclaim your attention!! #websites do not have the right to shove random junk at you unrelated to what you want out of them and you can make them stop #and just. customize your use of the internet. you spend so much time on it #it can suck less! #probably other people do not want to cry when interacting with annoying cluttered UIs with twenty different buttons none of which seem #to be the thing they need #but if you do: you can just do this *once* and then all of the buttons you never need will never bother you again #my school class portal is almost useable now it's incredible #i *will* provide before and after screenshots if anyone asks #(anyway. I have been on a kick of making the tools I regularly use at actually work for me lately #and have once again been reminded how important this is) #Make The Internet Great (or at least tolerable) Again

[bluewlnteroses]

i just keep thinking about harley getting to know the truth about why peter is alone and finding out why people don't remember him and for a moment thinking he's glad he got to meet him after everything went down and immediately feel guilt and shame because its not fair peter went through so much pain and had to leave everyone he knew behind but,,,, just thinking about meeting each other before and getting to know peter and then completely forget him makes his feel sick

#but harley my baby you did #there was another crying teenager at the funeral that knew exactly what you were feeling in that moment #you just don't remember him #i feel like the world could have ended right there and peter wouldn't have notice #theres a blank space since the moment tony died until weeks after the funeral so can u blame him for not remembering harley? #they met in one of the worst days of each other's life #i just can't stop thinking about them realizing they met before and being absolutely devastated on how close they were to losing each other #because yes they met they talked and acknowledge their bond with tony but they were grieving #they talked for a couple of minutes but they didn't keep in contact they didn't become friends just like that #but now they can't possibly think about not being in each other's life #and to think they were close to lose that without even realizing it.. #ugh im sad don't pay attention to me #once again i do NOT care about the english language so dont bother i know there might be typos #harley keener #parkner #but platonic parkner works just fine too

[manygreetingsfriend]

i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign

#god of war #i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know #something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become #to survive this long #up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change #it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this. #it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better #we MUST be better. than they were. #who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes. #i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return #you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth. #you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better. #i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better #i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it? #this series has destroyed me. #dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate) #can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’ #AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!! #sindri’s face. has not left my memory #i’m dying scoob #gow #gowr

[moeblob]

You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

#moe talks a lot #i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry #and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds #LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO #shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds #BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER #i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up #i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong #after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before #YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain #oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older #and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds #holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang #sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat #but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like #welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant #anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain #im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake #but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry #anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering

[rawliverandgoronspice]

behold: my least favorite string of words in the entirety of Tears of the Kingdom.

#totk critical #totk #tloz #gerudos #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war.... #I just stumbled upon it again doing research yesterday and.... #there's so many layers as to why it aggravates me #that it's spoken from the perspective of a masked woman as to embody all gerudos while removing her own identity #in the context of her loyalty to rauru as well #that giving birth to a bad man makes you responsible for his actions (he's not a toddler anymore he's an adult ok) #or more metaphorically that your initial conflict with hyrule makes you Sinful and cursed and you must Feel Bad Now *shame shame* #that she's passing on that ageless guilt with no expiration date onto the shoulders of *a teenager* and it's considered GOOD??? #(wind waker shaking crying right now) #ALL OF THAT to prop her up to swear her loyalty to the people planning to go murder their ancient king (sure he's a Bad but still???) #using some sort of weird ass original sin scenario that is arguably not any gerudo's fault but Ganondorf's #(or if it is then it's not shown so ???) #the vibes are so so so off I just really !!!!! don't like #this is stuff like this that makes me reject that it's a good story about alliances being formed in good faith #because this is just manipulative #maybe the alliance angle everyone's stronger together was the intention but the execution is another story entirely #gerudos never benefited from ganondorf's actions also #so it's not even a case of making reparations for the way you benefit from systemic oppression due to your ancestor's actions #gerudos won literally nothing in ganondorf's war #apparently he even subjugated them if they weren't on his side (like.... a king would.... not to excuse it but the double standard here) #so it just instrumentalizes the ageless sin of motherhood + suffering under a bad monarch billion of years ago for war #so uhhh.... yeah that's not... that's pretty bad imo #the gerudo girl could have went “hey girl this man used us and still hurt us to this day let's kick his ass once and for all” #and this would have been a different story entirely #a little cheap but not.... That Bad

[demonboyhalo]

The only true death is being forgotten, so yes, Technoblade will never die. His memory won't wither when it's 10 million strong, and the joy he gave the world can't be taken away. We will remember Technoblade. We will not allow him to die.

#death tw #i know this is going to feel impossible for a while. like you can't belive this isn't a joke - that it's actually happened #and every reminder of reality makes you start crying all over again. so don't be afraid to take time to yourself and stay offline #take as much time as you need - because i know the pain sucks. it REALLY fucking sucks #but there's nothing to be done for it besides keep going. keep moving and time will move with you and it WILL get better #we will always have his memory and even now that he's gone we have the laughter he left behind for us #keep living. we will not allow his memory to die. #technoblade

[rowanoftheunknown]

“I hope I’ll find all the pieces of my mind that fell out of my head over all those years, and that I’ll be able to put myself together again. I hope the echoes of pain will fade, and memories of sorrow will die, and that you’ll visit me here some day…”

“And I hope you have a happy ending of your own.”

#NICHE BALDURS GATE CHARACTER FANS COME GET YALL JUICE #I may be the only one getting juice but hey. yknow #obligatory if hope has one fan it is me if hope has no fans it means I am dead etc etc #hope bg3 #house of hope #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #I love her sm you don’t understand #she’s so silly (clinically insane) and she’s brave and beautiful and UGH. hope. my beloved. #hope my fucking beloved #anyways this took fucking forever #I’m not super happy with it but i AM done with it. so. yeah #I was gonna do a bg and stuff but like. I’m sleepy #so you just get the window #also I feel like the light coming through looks a bit shit but again. it’s done for now. #I’ve never tried to draw stained glass and when I tell you it was not fucking easy lol #oh it’s just like drawing regularly but with LESS DETAIL I thought like a smooth brained foool #INCORRECT #there was maths involved #anyyyyywho. all for now. enjoy. please enjoy. if this gets no notes I may cry. a little.

[lulu2992]

So Greg Bryk regularly goes live on Instagram to chat with his followers and answer a few questions, and almost every time, someone asks if he’d like to play Joseph Seed again if he had the chance, to which he used to always reply that, yes, he absolutely would. However, in early 2022, he didn’t seem so sure anymore and said it would depend on the script (the question was specifically about a potential Far Cry 5 movie) and the writer(s). Then, a few months later, he implied he didn’t feel like playing the Father ever again because he thought the character’s story was “finished” and that Ubisoft should focus on creating new things instead…

Well, on October 14, 2023, he once again went live on Instagram and, when people mentioned Far Cry 5 in the chat, he revealed that he had reached out to Dan Hay and Drew Holmes, two of the game’s three main writers he’s become friends with, and that they had visited him “on set” (I’m not sure what he was shooting) the day before. In the past, he had already explained several times that he had loved working with them and thought the story they wrote (along with “JS”, Jean-Sébastien Décant, the game’s third main writer) was fantastic. This time, he added that Far Cry 5 was really “special” to him because the writers “cared a lot” about creating something great with amazing characters, and that he thought the whole Seed family was really well-written.

A few minutes later, when he was asked which character he would like to play again if he could, he said it was hard for him to choose because he loves them all, but he eventually picked Jeremy Danvers (Bitten) and Cobbs Pond (Frontier).

Then, surprisingly, he also mentioned Joseph.

I don’t know why he changed his mind again or if the fact he contacted Dan Hay (who doesn’t work for Ubisoft anymore) and Drew Holmes (who recently became the new IP Director for Far Cry) means anything, and I’m not sure I want more Far Cry 5 content to be released anyway (for continuity reasons), but I guess the Seed family’s return, as equally exciting and truly terrifying as this eventuality sounds to me, isn’t completely out of the question anymore in Greg Bryk’s mind!

#someone also asked if the book of joseph was canon but as expected he had no idea #actors rarely know that stuff and I’m not even sure he got to read it... #but yeah the boys’ awful childhood is definitely canon the writers have talked about it several times #far cry 5 #joseph seed #greg bryk #okay but... listen #I wondered if I was just imagining things when he first mentioned collapse during a live stream and I thought he looked a bit upset #the dlc wasn’t out yet but I was pessimistic so I concluded my fear probably was the reason he seemed unenthusiastic/disappointed to me #then when he said he didn’t feel like playing joseph anymore I once again wondered if it was because of collapse (which was now out) #but I told myself I was most likely influenced by my own negative opinion and he simply wanted to focus on new projects #but... now he’s happily talking about the original writers and how much they 'cared' about making something good #and he seems really enthusiatic again about possibly reprising the role in the future #so is he implying that he thought the other writers (the dlc’s)... didn’t 'care'? #does he also think there were problems with the seeds’ characterization in collapse?? #is it possible that I wasn’t just projecting after all??? #???? #...okay maybe I’m still projecting #but the timing is a bit suspicious isn’t it?

[hwanswerland]

tumblr just isn't fun for me anymore. when i joined atinyblr almost 2.5 years ago it was...different. the sense of community i felt here was different. now almost everyone i used to know or talk to has left, and tbh it's been making me sad. most of the time i don't get joy from being here and interacting with people anymore, and while i still enjoy giffing it's not the same as before. i'm also not in the best place mentally so even thinking about the effort it would take to get to know and feel comfortable around 'new' people is overwhelming. i loved being on here, it was a part of my life for a good while, but i think it's time to accept that those days are over. i went from feeling like an imposter all the time to being welcome and confident in (most of) my gifmaking, and to me that really meant a lot. i made real friends here and i can't express how grateful i am for them.

idk yet if i'm going to be around or not. maybe seonghwa will do something again that will make me run to my laptop and start giffing without even thinking about it. so, for now, thank you for having me atinyblr <3 thank you everyone who's ever left nice (or funny, or kinda deranged) tags on my gifs or sent me asks or just made me feel welcome and made my experience here worthwhile

#fio.txt #i almost started crying when typing this man and idk its just a website and i feel kind of stupid #but i think ive thought this for a while now but tried to not accept it. or something #i feel like letting go of a beloved part of your life that youve kind of outgrown and no matter how much you wish it could be like before #its not and its not going to be like that again