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thedreadvampy · 1 year

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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

#red said #it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong #this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT #because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION #i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered #but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances #then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING #i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened #because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman #b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening #c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much #it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'

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willyhoos · 4 months

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the mikes.. the michaels, even...

#fnaf #fnaf movie #mike schmidt #michael afton #michael schmidt #does any1 call him that.. besides william lol #i like the hc that game!mike is freaky tall like his dear old dad #so movie mike being a certified shorty is soooo <3 appreciated.#i really appreciate that movie mike is #like. sane.#hes disturbed definitely but he is still Trying to live functionally hes just. struggling to succeed in that regard #game mike? not a chance. hes an identity-hopping arsonist #i guess thats the difference elizabeth (abby) makes.#if game mike had somehow managed to save elizabeth #maybe he would have turned out ok #movie mike shows us what would have happened if michael DID actually have something to live for #game mike has nothing at all no one . no desires no family no friends nothing. just a death wish and a lot of regret.#btw movie mike is michael afton .. in the sense that he is the movie-adapted versoin of michael afton.#they have different stories obviously but they are INTENDED to be the same person #gnerally that is #i mean. lil sis. responsible for lil bros death. the weird offputting rude pushy personality.#so ill take it as proof that in the games mike=michael #OK I GOT OFF TRACK UM SORRY #now ill never get over how game mike and vanessa never met.#i mean theres the glammike theory but. that is an extremely altered version of mike who arguably isnt awake hes possessing a robot. hes Dea #but according to the movie... they woulda gotten along.#brings a tear to me old eye #my nyart #i miss queue #ah yes.. 4:34 am again garfie baby

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gulducock · 2 years

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look at this pic i found on twitter

#mine #hi heres my star trek take for today #does anyone else feel a little teeny bit weird when peeople talk abou t #wait ok hold on spoilers for s7 of ds9. dont read ahead ok #does anyone feel weird when peopeple joke about how kai winn and dukat were such a good couple when he like. raped her #like i know why they do but did no one think about that whole story arc hard enoigh to realize what he did to her #explicitly stated on screen. like thats verbatim unconcensual sex what happened and everyones liek its funny because dukats funny #and kai winn is a bitch which she is but also idk. does this make sense #ok thats my thought this have nothing to do with the abive image #i just didnt want to make this into a text post :| anyohe else get scared when dukat is on the scren #okay goodbye. im rewatching viyager btw not fr im just putting it on for comfort whenever i feel sick which is often LOL! but like on n off #can we make the doctor more popular than data =. keep going warriors

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pixlokita · 4 months

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I feel like ? I gotta remind people it’s ok to unfollow a blog when it upsets you in any way >> like if I ever do that sure, you can let me know if it was anything I did personally I’d appreciate it but if you just don’t enjoy something it’s ok to unfollow ;w; can’t stress enough how important it is to put your mental health first 👌

#pix habla #fnaf #✨💖 even if you don’t like frogs and I post about frogs does that make sense #i see some yall not liking some of the stuff I draw and just kinda wonder ? why you still follow lol #i won’t take it personally #even if it’s a mutual heck I’ve even told my friends to unfollow if they ever need a break from my blog =w=👌#because It’s nothing personal >>#i used to ok so funny story xD I used to follow a friend in middle school on social media #and we were good friends but had nothing in common in what we posted about =w=#like she loved Beatles fanfics (don’t ask do not ask idk I didn’t read past the titles)#and i loved sonic :v #and like #thats aigh ? you don’t gotta ? follow a blog that doesn’t bring joy no matter if you’re close or not #i would honestly hate it if I’m making anyone upset or unhappy #so yeyeyeye I’ve said this before in other fandoms but like >>)✨✨💖 put 👏 your mental health 👏👏👏 FIRST ALWAYS👏#Stay safe y’all ��👌 have fun be free #we’re all just… sitting here… online 😔 ain’t nothing to it

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aurorangen · 4 months

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It was late into the night and Renee was back at the station. She needed to find the problem with Vincent's phone and why his messages didn't send. Renee relayed all the information Vincent told her and he emphasised using the hospital wifi. They figured his phone was hacked this way and someone was spying on him, preventing him from making calls or messages. With the cyber security knowledge of Captain Vazquez, they tracked the IP address of the device used to intercept Vincent's phone. And the location was Strangerville.

Now Renee had all sorts of thoughts in her head. Despite it being late at night, she found the whole process fascinating. And all the links to Strangerville. The police may be the only way to uncover more about the place and find out what the hell is going on there. Perhaps she should switch from her history course to criminology and become a detective. Yes, she will do that. Renee doesn't like history as much as she did anyway and she liked the idea of solving crimes.

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 legacy #postcard legacy #postcard gen 3 #billy reichmann #renee reichmann #kali vazquez #i know nothing about hackers and police tracking im just winging it #its sims anyways doesnt have to be fully realistic whatever makes sense for the story imo! they hacked paytons too #but i didnt write it up there #i linked intercept to that post #bc of hackers intercepting a device not like a kidnapping 'intercept'#i was trying to mislead everyone there on purpose to make you #think vincent was caught and disappeared like that!!! i love my plot #now the barista and bodyguard links to everything and strangerville #all these small clues 😏 and im not following this generations rules entirely im making my own twists to everything 😏

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orchid-n-petals · 8 months

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So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.

The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.

You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.

And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.

Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".

His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.

But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.

Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.

And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.

I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.

He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.

He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.

He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.

He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.

But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.

I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.

Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.

I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #ketheric thorm #and I also have a lot of thoughts of how Aylin foils him #I fully believe that he was in the right in the capacity that he switched around his gods when he was literally ignored despite his life's #work. despite all that he has given. I think it's reasonable to expect in the world of gods who actively meddle in mortal affairs on their #whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them #after their prayers go unanswered. like yes; go and try your luck elsewhere because this devotion of yours is clearly being taken for #granted. you get NOTHING out of your worship. you can't even sleep well because your loved ones are dead and you are expected to just what?#deal with it on your own? and remain loyal? why?#some sense of 'honour'?#I really like this depiction of faith actually. I really like when clerics and paladins are given agency and critical thought that hey!#this is actually giving me nothing despite me dedicating my entire life to it! and I have only one of it so why not take it somewhere where #it's actually valued. you know. as a treat.#I *personally* much more prefer this depiction of a crisis of faith than what we got with Shadowheart or Lae'zel; their stories are very #interesting on their own but I think throwing yourself from one end to the other not because you actually have a goal that it could serve #but because you are desperate for a purpose #is a slightly less potent character narrative than having an actual goal yourself. not by much but by a little.#again #PERSONALLY

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fictionadventurer · 3 months

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Have I mentioned lately that creating AUs is the most fun thing ever? You get to take a story you love and then mash it against another type of story you love and fit all their pieces together like they're a jigsaw puzzle. You get to find all the unexpected points of similarity where the stories fit together really well, and see the places where their differences change and make commentary on the original stories/genres in really interesting ways.

And then once you fit the pieces together, you get to look at the new world you've made and see how these characters in this specific world have different conflicts and explore new themes, and you get to play with another level of puzzles as you figure out what this means for this story.

It's the most fun ever. It's my favorite game.

#random thought of the day #adventures in writing #this goes for both fairy tale retellings and for aus of specific shows/novels #this last week was a week for aus #between the north and south sci fi au coming up again #making up a northanger abbey fantasy au #coming up with a new angle for retelling maid maleen #and having tons of new insight in how to rework a story that's a retelling of cinderella and three different austen novels #plus looking back on the powers and prejudice au #this is just such a great game #the moment when the pieces click into place in a way that makes both elements make sense #there's nothing quite as satisfying #to some extent this applies to plotting original fiction #but it's a different feeling when you're making an au of something #because you don't just get to work with malleable clay #you have specific pre-formed pieces #so you get the challenge of figuring out how to fit them together without damaging either one too much #and when you find the way they fit together it makes you appreciate both stories in a new way #plus it makes you feel clever for making the connection #astounding superb wondrous past time

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michaeljoncarter · 11 months

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this makes negative sense, but to me, "oc" takes on a completely different meaning in the context of comics than what it means out in the wild. like there's new characters and then there's writer's ocs. being a writer's original character in the literal sense doesn't automatically make them that writer's oc, and actually, they don't even have to have been created by that writer to be their oc. it's all very diachronic

#something about the collaborative nature of comics makes it so like...#it's not that originality is a bad thing obviously #but when your ch or take on a ch is so new & unrelated to everything before that it requires scrapping all of history to make it work #why are you even putting them in this story at this point #it's like... not 'original character' in the literal meaning but 'original character' as in 'literally nothing about them meshes #with this story/world and they're feel like an original character that's been pulled out of a completely different original universe'#does that make sense?????#like you could say that's juts like a fave/bias/whatever when it's about an existing character #but also NO because it's so specific to comics #because it's more than that when there's an established canon you should be sticking to #but you instead just decide to make up a bunch of whole new shit out of nowhere #both in terms of the universe around them and their place in it #and/or how that character specifically has been written for their entire history #and that a lot of the time directly conflicts w & erases huge portions of the story instead of adding to it #they will just make up a whole new character and slap an existing character's name & face on it #as if the aesthetics of the character are what people have been reading for all these years lol #sir that is your oc committing identity theft

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viivdle · 2 months

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do i know what this is? no.

#but it makes sense to ME #posting break or wtvs (2 days)#the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #the folk of the air #cardan greenbriar #jude duarte #jurdan #tfota memes #tfota #holly black #holly blacj #chai anna jude alims #incorrect tfota #how the king of elfhame learned to hate stories #htkoelths #the court of shadows

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wis-art · 10 months

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When I was a kid (maybe like 6-12) i was very often """misgendered""" as a girl by doctors, cashiers and general adults. Once we had a picture day at school and had photo of me sent back with girly border cause photographers thought of me as a girl lol

I guess all the signs were there I just didn't know what transgender is cause nobody told me

#my parents let me wear long hair because i just liked it that way #i had short hair for maybe like total of 3-4 years in my life #very unpleasant #always enjoyed hanging out with girls #i had this huge crush on this girl who always hanged out with all the boys #we would ride bikes together and skate #we went on like those little four wheeler bikes together a few times #fhdhd i mean nothing ever came from it we just were friends #i heard from my mytual friends that she's lesbian now #makes so much sense honestly #stories from a little rural town in poland #honestly i miss my childhood friends #some of them know im trans and theyre like wow...#so cool...#also i secretely very enjoyed the girl border on my picture #but my classmates were like looooool look at this loser #so i tried to play it tough #hehe

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atsukunaritai · 6 months

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ワンルームエンジェル　第１・２話　　　　　　　　one room angel - ep. 1&2

#just started watching this so i'm mad i juuust missed ep2 release on tver and now can't find a quality source for it sorry for this trash #a harada manga getting a live action... who would've ever thought. luckily i don't remember what happens in this one so it's a surprise #at least i feel like i remember this one being way less f'd up than the others so it's prob a good one to do a live action on haha #one room angel #jdrama #i'm happy i don't really remember what happens in this one but regardless it is harada so i'm guessing it won't be for everyone #but for people interested in Different stories with Different characters it's likely gonna be a refreshing one. a lot of moral greyness #this angel typing away on a smartphone and saying チン毛 like it's nothing... yeah that ep 3 reveal makes a lot of sense haha #i like how the dialogue is rly harada-esquely just Saying Shit so it's prob staying pretty close to the manga i think #honestly i just wanted to gif this mfer basically motorboating the wings hahahaa #but i don't have the ep in 1080p aaaaaaaaaaa so it looks like crap but it is what it is #mine

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horsegirlrehab · 8 days

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Finally finished this little pmv for in stars and time!! :3

#i look forward to not looking at this ever again #tumblr bitches did not get to see me going insane in instagram stories #bc i had nothing to post bc they would all make no sense out of context #isat #in stars and time #isat loop #isat siffrin #isat spoilers #specifically for bad touch and the ghost quest btw #isat fanart #isat animatic

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uncanny-tranny · 11 months

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It's actually kind of heartbreaking how many people feel their life has ended right after high school or college, and honestly, the heavy romanticization of that period of time is so overwhelmingly predominant that it can be hard to avoid. It's insidious to constantly be told that ages 10-24 are the only worthwhile parts of life, that everything after is essentially meaningless and dull.

It's hard not to look around you and think that your life still is open and full of potential when you're told over and over again that the rose-tinted childhood is the last time you were alive. It's hard to realize that your life isn't over when you walk off the stage of your graduation.

We must realize that we will always be full of potentials. Your life won't be over until you take your final breath, and then? That's simply another chapter in your story, one of many. Let yourself realize that you're alive in the here and now. There will be good and bad, but never a complete loss of potential or hope.

#positivity #it's just... weird when you see somebody your age who says how over their life feels you know?#and i feel for them. i feel their pain and the emptiness of not knowing what's next or what you should do #and that's sometimes the scary part of life. but your story isn't over yet #one day it will be. one day you'll put the pen down and dry the ink on the yellowed pages and close your book of life. but that's not today #you are allowed to be an aimless spirit. you are allowed to breathe in without the crushing weight of productivity #the idea that your only potential happens when you're too young to realize it is wrong #your potential has nothing to do with feeling your youth and how little you know #it is hard to really internalize this and remind yourself to make space for hope and positivity...#...and you might not be ready to internalize this. that's okay. i'll wait with you (in a strictly spiritual sense)#we can wait together and not think about any of it. just to rest and collect our minds and feel the world hold its breath with us #all this to say that your life isn't over yet. you don't have to beat yourself up over not having lived at fucking 18 #allow yourself the compassion to realize that you needed time to grow and mature and explore the world in your own way

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b4kuch1n · 7 months

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crumbs in your bed

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#bakuspecial #comic #horror #cw: child abuse #cw: body horror #ask to tag #hi! hello. this is basically just a goosebump story I think. or a scary stories to tell in the dark entry #that's kinda what I aim for? along with the good ol vibe of fuan no tane #and also the like. Thing in east asian art where they make the main character a generic white person and then #every other thing about the setting is deeply recogniseably common asian shit lmao #that's entertainment for me. this came about extremely haphazardly... its why the first two pages look nothing like #the rest of it fsdjfhdsjhf. I slammed those out at a cafe like two days ago #went into this one no plan outside of a general sense of direction #I dont think Ive ever actually designed a single character in any of the short horror comics I did. like either its me or #I made someone up as I went. genuinely didnt know what the character'd look like until I sketched em #and then I kept referencing previous panels to draw em. dont know if I recommend this method #mmmm on reread not super sure if the sound effect of the bed leaving the room is clear enough... oh well there are other comics #been writing a lot about food and places recently Ive found out. oh yeah dyou know whats funny #I watched a wayner highlight vid of the kingdom heart charity stream today (I do not know anything about kingdom heart) and realized #how much of kingdom heart (at least the first one) is about like. places.#which is like. good job baku great deep read there isn't kingdom heart literally behind a door. arent there doors all over the place.#isnt the biggest symbol from that game taht EVERYONE knows about the KEYblade. for locks on door #fskdjfhdj but yeah its just. very cool to me that that game really does have iconic recogniseable sites. like the scenes are all tied to #where they happen at. and the climactic battle happens in a black void around a door. its good #good story about leaving ur home after ur friends aren't there anymore and being changed so much by what you go through that #you can no longer call where you started at home anymore. I am being conned by the music #anyways. yeah I go sleep now. powered thru the last 4 pages of this so its done and out there. hope my bed will not do this #have a good night lads! be careful of bugs

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aalghul · 19 days

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I don’t think it makes sense to assume that Jason was mocking Mia’s past. At all. The thing that got jason painted as violent back in the 80s was his anger against rapists…how does that turn into mocking a victim? and that entire story was written by winick. Do we honestly think winick intended to communicate that? The same writer who made Jason’s first kill a man who was trafficking children? Who had Jason pause in his mission of madness to make sure those kids were found by the right people so they wouldn’t be in further danger?

#let’s knock on our skulls and kick our brains back into gear okay?#you can maintain that it wasn’t well executed or that the role mia played here bothers you #but you can’t say jason was mocking her for that or even seriously trying to hurt her physically #he was bsing like 90% of the story with his constant ‘we should all kill anyone who inconveniences us! speedy and GA should try to kill me #if they want to win’ like we understand that yes?#but that last part of his convo with Mia was the one serious part #he was wrong! of course he was wrong about ollie. but this was also Jason’s first time meeting ollie #it was ridiculous and unnecessary on his end and it put mia thru the emotional wringer for nothing #but that wasn’t the Intention. it was a stupid thing done by someone who never expected anything to come of it but still said what *to him*#was a way of offering advice #and as for the ppl who go ‘stop reaching abt jason being a victim and just read Mia instead’#a) there’s more to Mia’s character than her past. anyone who thinks that fits Jason’s past wouldn’t necessarily like mia bc they’re not the #same character #it’s the same way that if jason was confirmed to have been a victim of SA as a kid then all of Mia’s fans wouldn’t love him like they love #her? this is common sense. anyways stop being assholes online and just recommend characters too ppl nicely #b) more than one character can have experienced a similar form of abuse. also common sense #c) it’s not an unreasonable hc #d) it doesn’t hurt you personally. none of this killed your grandma #once again: hate whoever you like but choosing the interpretation that doesn’t make sense just to make up a #‘valid’ reason is serious loser behaviour

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yannaryartside · 6 months

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The table scene: I will hold the world for you

Promises and friends with insecurities

This scene was the culmination of their arcs in this season; their arcs, in some senses, had nothing to do with each other but everything about wanting each other and figuring out how this partnership was essential to each other. Another long one.

Under the table is their relationship, trying not to collapse under the burden of the table, the world, and their trauma.

Sydney had started the season wanting to be a partner to Carmy and finding a partner with him; he was, for her, a vehicle/support to tackle the big wolf of her insecurities, thinking her failures were her own fault, her burden. She was tired of feeling alone and not enough to walk the path of hurt, trials, and disappointments that her life has been. Carmy was also tired of feeling alone, of feeling unlovable. He saw a way to heal that in Claire and took it. In the process, he disappointed Sydney in his lack of commitment to the restaurant (and her); both were jet to decipher the true feelings they hold for each other, a truth that was to be set in the background, simmer and simmer, and then explode.

The explosion for Sydney occurs inside; she realizes little by little how much Carmy reveals to Claire. The explosion for Carmy went the inside out, the panic attack scene showing him what he had suspected all along. He was forced to confront the fact that his bond with Claire, even if he had feelings for her, was not enough to push away his fears and trauma (this was not a secure attachment; it was never based on two people actually knowing each other, or healthily supporting each other). I LOVE Carmy's face in this scene btw; he is so happy to see her in his mind; the fucker is like, "Oh, there you are; wtf can you do this to me? But thank god you do"

Sydney experienced Carmy pushing her away more and more as the season advanced, all while Carmy grew in discomfort with his "relationship" with Claire. Carmy and Syd tried their ways to make the situation more bearable. Sydney tried to communicate her needs for support in this scary process of creating a restaurant (trying to ignore her feelings); Carmy, being a clautrofuck of emotions for getting what he wanted for so long, to still feeling shit about it, was terrified of losing Sydney and tried to create a menu "for her" instead of "with her." But they never reached each other truthfully, even after this point, because they were so afraid to lose that glimpse of security they provided each other that they never went to the core of their fears. (they abused the "I am sorry" sign, made assumptions, and held to reservations and resentment).

They are walking on shifting sands, uneven terrytiory=uneven table.

AND THEN, THE TABLE SCENE

The blocking of this scene is phenomenal. They changed positions when they were changing about subjects in the conversation. All while they are trying to fix an uneven table. It is uneven because neither of them knows where they truly stand as partners, and yet, the scene manages not to be about partnership, but about relasionship, and frienship.

In the beginning, when Carmy shares his "burden" for this season: his relationship with Claire, the fact that she is excellent, but he cannot separate his trauma from her, not knowing what even a secure attachment is. Carmy is lying on the ground, his being exposed and vulnerable, resting. Sydney is holding the table when he explains all this to her while he is fixing "his side" of the table, his trauma, and his mistakes that had damaged their harmony. He acknowledges it and promises his entire focus from now on. Sydney also takes a moment to recognize that whatever Carmy has with Claire is something that he needs at some level, regardless of how that makes her feel (helathy or not, she sees that at some level, he wants it). She is holding the other side of the table. She is preventing it from collapsing on him, like he is giving him a space to feel his feelings, regardless of the pressure they both endure, as she has done with her actions all season.

This is not about why she is carrying the restaurant herself, and neither is a way to imply she had to do it in order to be a good friend, of course not, but that is not what this scene is about. I think the conclusion of service in Service in Friends and Family is a more appropriate conclusion for Carmy's absence, and a better "punishment" even if she has yet not expressed how abandoned she felt by him, and all the ways he failed her, and let his trauma handle his time and his partnership with Sydney like shit. They may not be ready to be able to talk about that, nor do they know how to fix it. The service scene served for him to understand how badly he was not around. Decorated with the fact Sydney was able to guide the kitchen relying on others, being the true leader the restaurant needed.

The table scene, for me, is not about resolving any of that, it is about promises. Promises to find answers and realizing what they provide for each other.

The table scene is about two friends talking about their insecurities.

She holds the table while he confesses something he has never said out loud to anybody. Sydney is providing Carmy in this scene something he has never had: "a person to trust, to understand and to understand him, a person to know everything about, a best friend," anybody that he tried to form this with has hurt him at some point, Mickey being the most painful example, whatever he has wit Nat, or even Richie, doesn't come close by miles, he still carries reservations around them. He seems to have tried to establish that with Claire, surprised at how empty it left him anyway.

But when Carmy says "say more," asking her to change positions, now she is the one underneath, fixing her side of the table, laying on the ground, vulnerable, while he holds the other side. She lays down her fears of her past failures collapsing on her all at once, all the reasons she has always suspected she is not good enough for this, and he is the one reassuring her, holding the other side of the table, preventing the world (the pressure/trauma) from collapsing on her, giving her a space to confess without judgment. He gives her exactly what she needs; not only is she good enough for this, but not only does he know the desire to help people that drives her, but if fear creeps in, whatever obstacle or failure they face, he will hold her, and "they" will work on it. All this, all the things he gets from her too, he sees her, understands her, believes in her, and promises to be there for her, a best friend.

If anything, regardless of the context of what they need to do this in the first place, particularly on Carmy's part, even if is only promises for the momment, the table scene is a beautiful description of a partnership: you are not on uneven territory anymore; I will be the ground you walk on, I will build you up, I will give you a space to feel your feellings.

I couldn't do this without you I wouldn't even wanna do it without you You make me better at this I wound't let you (fail)

The harmony is restored, the ground of trust is settled, the table (the world/the trauma) is not collapsing on anybody, they both are compromised on a goal: supporting each other, whatever that leads them. Whatever that will mean in the future, finding new boundaries, ways to complement and help each other, maturing emotionally. These feelings? I don't know how to deal with them, but I will stand beside you.

Most importantly, they both realized that this security they give each other...they want it; they only had an idea of what their partnership could be at the beginning of the season, and now it has been revealed to them, just a taste, enough to get their hearts...wanting for more.

You are not alone

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