#not to be rude im catholic myself but
Im really quite grateful for the recent special price on the New York Times Electronic subscription which allowed me to be able to subscribe for a short period. The quality of my ideas and thoughts has been significantly increased, in my opinion. Thank you for supporting excellence in quality and all the competitive advantages which come along with that. I myself dont glory in the excesses of capitalism or the rudeness of excessive pride and the numbness to the plight of the poor and oppressed which occur, but that may be due to the effects of severe brain damage rather than some virtuous mind blind to sin and its effects.
Attention; attention; attention
There is a superlative Op-Ed currently or opinion essay on the topic of Chinas oppression of the Muslim Ughurs. Its a surprising essay; really though. If you're familiar with the cultures of all Communist and Socialists societies, indeed all groups of any sociological nature, the goals and aspirations of the lower situated members are sublimated for the Will of the Empowered.
And so I was asking myself, isnt this the accepted modus operandi of all Family Planning groups from Bill & Melinda Gates to George Tiller and that fat queen late term abortionist Leroy something or other? Not to mention Planned Parenthood Margaret Sanger and Kermit Gosnell. The Chinese pagans oppose the religion of the Muslim Ughurs but that doesnt appeal to me as something horrific, and so that isnt an emotional pull. So I guess my response to the author of the essay in the NYTimes is that there exists no compelling reason to oppose China because what is done there is done here, its a matter of a difference in degree and not kind. Anti Life is teleologically Anti God, at least the God of the historic Orthodox-Catholic Church
I dont want to sound rude im genuinely interested. I was baptised and raised as a catholic but im lapsed now and havent practiced in 7 years. And im also gay. How is it for muslims? I mean my family is catholic but they dont particularly care who i love. But the older generation deem it a sin. I just want to learn about different experiences thats all :’)
Nah that's not rude at all. My parents actually don't really mind me being gay as long as I don't marry my gf and remain a good girl for them. And its clear in muslims that LGBT is a big sin. But I can't hurt myself by pretending to be normal in front of them. I continued to go to the mosque, read the quran every day, and fasted. I don't mean to corner atheists here. Cause LGBT exist in every religion.
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hi!! i saw your post (this was back in jan) about that person not supporting lgbtq and all and i thought i would address it
i understand that a lot of people get offended when Muslims don’t support the lgbtq community- i think the op didn’t really explain it that well by saying “just go to google” but basically homosexuality is not allowed in Islam. even if they really wanted to support it, their religion doesn’t allow them to.
however, this is not to say that they can’t tolerate lgbtq+ and i think that op was a bit insensitive when they indirectly invalidated homosexuality just because “god didn’t create two genders for the same gender to marry”- that i have to agree that that came off as a bit rude.
tl;dr: just wanted to explain that muslims cannot support lgbtq+ because of their religion, and i don’t think anyone should take offense to that- the most they can do is give you their understanding and respect you. that’s probably why the stigma around muslims exists- because a lot of people don’t really understand that fact. but it’s ok to feel frustrated when they invalidate you and negate your beliefs and identity, i understand where your frustration stems from
(i hope i didn’t come off as insensitive in any way, but if there’s anything wrong please call me out for it! i myself am not a muslim but i live around a lot of them, and a lot of them have shared their frustrations with me about this issue and how people tend to misunderstand them and i just thought i would share)
same anon as before, forgot if i mentioned but what they said is homophobic in my opinion. just my two cents on it
oof I didn’t think this discourse would come up again, but thank you for sharing your thoughts. indeed, it was homophobic, and not just a little.
I myself am not muslim, and my knowledge is only on what ive read up on the issue of islam and lgbtq+, but I'll link what a muslim anon said regarding the issue. if there is anyone who knows better than either of us regarding this, please drop your thoughts. I don’t want to presume to speak for a community I’m not part of, but this is what I can say to the best of my knowledge.
as a whole, traditional readings of religious texts (islam, judaism, christianity, or otherwise) promote a heteronormative and gender binary ‘reality’. however, in all these religions today, there exists a wide spectrum of views, ranging from progressive to conservative. this is why it’s also debatable to anchor homophobia on purely religion; different interpretations exist.
for islam, there is the emergence of new interpretations of the text—be it the Quran or the Hadiths. many scholars are reexamining teachings. some argue that the Quran doesn’t really say anything regarding homosexual desire (acts are different), while some challenge the basis of the story on Lot: was sodom was punished for homosexuality or for their treatment of Lot and his guests? I'll link some readings here; these are also my references in answering the ask (x x x x).
there are muslim lgbtq+ who wouldn’t want the dialogue to end with simple “respect” or tolerance for their identity, ie the bare minimum. others are also creating places for worship and safe spaces for the muslim lgbtq+ community. it’s hypocritical to stigmatize lgbtq+ (who are seeking for their right to love freely) when there are much graver sins out there, like arrogance, greed, etc.
this applies to most religions, and im also speaking from my experience as a catholic—imo, a lot of traditional views on religion need to be reevaluated and reexamined. a balance between traditional/cultural values and our modern understandings on intersectionality, marginalized groups, and equity should be considered.
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This is a genuine question, so I'm sorry if it comes across as rude or insensitive. I was raised Catholic, and with the help of therapy I have been reliving a lot of memories that have been extremely traumatic for me relating to the church and Catholicism. I feel incredibly guilty for looking back with disdain on my time in the church, but the people around me did so many things to hurt me, so many things I can't imagine God would want them to do. I guess my question is, what do I do? I consider myself an Ex-Catholic but that feels so terrible. I'm sorry if I'm asking the wrong person, I don't have many people in my life.
A lot of times people are misguided and hurtful. Thats how people are. Im glad you're going to therapy, thats a really good thing to do. I would suggest maybe working with your therapist about separating those feelings of what those people did and what God does. Because youre right, God didn't want you to be treated like that.
There are no ex-catholics. You are still apart of the family, the body of believers. Any parish or priest worth their salt will welcome you with open arms and work to bring you into the fullness of life.
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50 questions tag
i was tagged by: @carter-hearts (ty! <3)
i know this is basically shouting into the void but i love doing these things so im just gonna do it for myself
(edit: WAIT i just realised that @savebyhellebuyck also tagged me, thanks mate and obviously youve already done it so ignore the tag lmao)
1. what is the color of your hair brush? black
2. name a food you never eat? onions. ew
3. are you typically too warm or too cold? im ALWAYS too hot (hot damn)
4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? eating tea ig (pasta with tomato sauce and veg, im so healthy yknow)
5. what’s your favorite candy bar? omg, boost bars, i love them so much
6. have you ever been to a professional sports game? um some football (”soccer”) games, a couple rugby games in my local area (and one at twickenham which was Epic)
7. what was the last thing you said out loud? “there’s 160 teabags in this box!” (to which my flatmate said “oh you’re set for the week then” which was. rude.)
8. what is your favorite ice cream? vanilla. boring af
9. what was the last thing you had to drink? friday night i had a LOAD of rum and cokes and a vodka lemonade (i have a sweet tooth lmao). if you mean just any beverage then im drinking tea rn
10. do you like your wallet? YES its so cool its bright yellow i love it
11. what was the last thing you ate? my tea (see above lol)
12. did you buy any new clothing last week? nah i hate spending money
13. what’s the last sporting event you watched? the last isles-bolts game :’(
14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? sweet and salty mix
15. who was the last person you sent a text to? my sister
16. ever go camping? oh yeah i go every year with the fam because its cheaper than an abroad holiday lmao
17. do you take your vitamins? uh only at ~that time of the month~, i take iron. i think vitamins are like way more of an american thing? most people i know don’t take any vitamins unless they have a specific deficiency
18. do you regularly attend a place of worship? my family are catholic but im not a very good one lol
19. do you have a tan? yeah tanning naturally is my only talent
20. do you prefer chinese or pizza? chinese! definitely
21. do you drink soda through straws? only if i can be bothered to find a straw lmao so normally no
22. what color socks do you usually wear? black or white ;)
23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? i can’t drive lol. not because im too young its just i cant afford lessons or anything
24. what terrifies you? the idea of being buried alive. ahhh
25. look to your left, what do you see? window
26. what chore do you hate the most? cleaning the hob/sink/other peoples food messes, ew
27. what do you think when you hear an australian accent? those seagulls in finding nemo. but i lowkey love the aussie accent though
28. what’s your favorite soda? you mean ~fizzy drink~. anyway its diet coke
29. do you ever go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? again i can’t drive so normally i just. walk inside
30. what’s your favorite number? 19, my squad number on my rugby team
31. who’s the last person you talked to? my flatmate (see no. 7 :) )
32. favorite cut of beef? i literally only eat mince or burgers so like. i don’t know about the cuts. ive never even had a steak im Clueless
33. last song you listened to? think about things by dadi freyr (iceland’s eurovision song this year. its so good go listen now. actually listen to everything those guys sing they’re all bops)
34. last book you read? “1914 and other poems” by Rupert Brooke
35. favorite day of the week? probably tuesday. or saturday
36. can you say the alphabet backwards? uh probably not
37. how do you like your coffee? iced - white with a little sugar
38. favorite pair of shoes? my fake balenciagas ;)
39. time you normally get up? in lockdown, like 11-12. now i actually have things to do its maybe 8
40. do you prefer sunrise or sunset? sunset. if i see the sunrise it means im either up way too late or up way too early and thats just not fun
41. describe your kitchen plates? i have one plate. its green and i got it for free from one of my sister’s flatmates
42. how many blankets are on your bed? duvet, one blanket at the end and another down the side for emergencies
43. describe your kitchen at the moment? its big because there’s nine of us living here but there is NOT enough counters >:(
44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? at the moment its spiced captain morgan (rum) and a little splash of diet coke. i love a good pint of Doom Bar though
45. do you play cards? i know like two card games so not really
46. what color is your car? no car :)
47. can you change a tire? in theory? but like id have to be desperate not to just call AA or someone to do it for me lol
48. favorite state? american state? like probably ohio? seems chill and rural. i know nothing about us states though don’t come at me. the equivalent here is counties so my fave county is 100% conwy
49. favorite job you’ve had? nah mate who enjoys working
50. tagging: i have no friends on here yet so like. @softgrantaire @savebyhellebuyck @u-okay-hen and anyone else who wants to! (no obligation at all though lol you guys are just the only people i know here)
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I find that my passion for equal rights immediately diminishes when it concerns my place of worship (Picture: Abigail Opiah)
My very first memory is of myself, age four, asking my mum if female priests in the Catholic Church will ever get to have a turn at leading a mass.
Of course, female priests didn’t even exist at the time.
Finding that out sparked my life-long belief in gender equality, as it was the first time I had actively noticed the differences in what men and women were allowed to do.
Since then, I’ve been striving for equal treatment in most spheres of my life and have missed few opportunities to crusade for this specific ideology. Yet, the one area of my life I feel unable to employ this in is my religion.
As a technology journalist, I have demanded more female representation in several diversity and inclusion meetings. I almost always seek out interviews with women, and I strongly advocate for pay equality among the sexes.
I never shy away from work conferences where I might be one of (if not the only) woman amid a sea of men. For me, this is a way I fight for equality, as I believe that by being in the room, I can help start conversations around why there aren’t enough women present in the first place.
However, I find that my passion for equal rights immediately diminishes when it concerns my place of worship.
The feeling of having to conceal my feminist beliefs is by no means innate. It is as though I am forcing one part of me to fade away in order to comply with another, which feels like an internal betrayal.
Aside from the Bible’s teachings of the man being the head of the house, the Celestial church (an African-initiated church) I sometimes attend has strict rules on women’s participation. For example, a woman is not allowed to deliver the sermon, lead the service or convey any form of preaching material to the congregation.
Some Nigerian churches in the UK, namely Cherubim and Seraphim churches, have strict restrictions on women attending services if they are on their period, as well as women not being allowed to enter spaces where certain religious ornaments are kept.
One Sunday, my sisters and I were at church when one of the male attendees brought food as an offering to share with the congregation after the service – a regular practice in African churches.
The men were called over first to bless the food, then we were called over to begin serving to everyone else. I felt instant resentment but froze up like a statue to contain my annoyance. I couldn’t believe that in the 21st century I was still being asked to conform to gender roles, and serve the congregation purely because ‘it is a woman’s job’.
My only option was to calm myself down and serve the food alongside my sisters. While mumbling my frustration under my breath, I never once thought of refusing to do the task as that would be seen as disrespectful to my elders.
My very first memory is of myself, age four, asking my mum if female priests in the Catholic Church will ever get to have a turn at leading a mass (Picture: Abigail Opiah)
I did, however, wear my annoyance on my face in the hopes that someone would ask me what was wrong, giving me a cue for me to question whether we were in the 1920s, or why the man who brought the food couldn’t just dish it out himself?
Of course, no one noticed my expression, so I kept all my thoughts to myself.
When I got home that evening, I angrily told my mum that I would not be returning to the church because I did not agree with what happened and only went through with the task out of respect.
She empathised with me but shrugged it off as something I shouldn’t get so worked up over. In her mind, it is just three or four hours a week that I am being asked to cover up my feminist stance. ‘That shouldn’t be that hard to do,’ she reasoned.
However, my protest didn’t last long and I was back at church after three months, still feeling like I had been disloyal to my feminist beliefs. What brought me back? My love for the services held in the church, and my faith.
These two things in particular have stopped me expressing my preference for gender equality in church, for fear that I will be going against God’s word.
And I am not alone in this feeling – my two sisters also regularly express their struggles with how far behind the church is in the gender equality race. I still can’t help feeling like less of an important member of the church than the male members because of rules that place them on a blatant pedestal.
The men usually get to make all the important decisions and almost always have the final say when it pertains to running the establishment.
Along with my Nigerian upbringing, which places great emphasis on never challenging religious teachings, my faith – which has brought me out of some tough times in my life – keeps me rooted in my place of worship.
But it is not just African-initiated churches.
Pope Francis said back in 2016 that he thinks the Roman Catholic Church’s ban on priestly ordinations for women will continue forever.
As a whole, the Catholic Church teaches that all of humanity is equal and that no one sex or race is above or superior to another.
So why can’t women be ordained priests too? This is a major inequality that frustrates me as women have proven time and time again that they can successfully and single-handedly run households, companies and countries.
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In an ideal world, I would love to wake up one day and see women at the head of the church. For now, that is still a distant, far-fetched dream. To attend a church led by a woman would be empowering – simply because representation matters.
I sometimes have mini panic attacks at the thought of bringing a girl child into this world, raising her with knowledge of gender equality and Christianity, only for her to one day question why the church we attend does not practise the equal participation of all church-related exercises for both sexes.
The pandemic has given me time to reflect on my two continually clashing beliefs, and each day I find myself searching for new ways to execute both without compromising too much of the other and feeling like I am not being true to myself and what I stand for as a woman.
So far, I am yet to find a solution where I can be my 100% feminist self in church. Until I find it, I’ll grit my teeth and settle for 80%.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing email@example.com.
Share your views in the comments below.
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there are days when i wake up, i wish i was already asleep and done w the day.
i felt like that today, it was the first day back from “summer break” for me & i was hoping it woulda gone ok, i even played this 5-min meditation instrumental 3x and it did help me stay focused, altho i was still barely like, awake and functioning lol....like a robot lol. ...so i was hopeful today would be a good day
i made sure to sleep early enough (1230) but wasn’t until 1247 when i was finally able to sleep bc i had this fucking tension headache right before bed (ehich after everything i’m writing i’m getting another one lol, i need to clear my head out lol —how to clear out negative mental energy)
so i ran a hot bath to relax (barely) enough to be able to sleep comfortably enough....my skin was hot so i used the white woven blanket bc it’s light but heavy (which i should make it into a weighted blanket, w faux fur on the other side maybe...kinda feel —> Joanns) but then i got too cold bc of the ac blasting in, so i woke up but couldn’t bother getting a warmer blanket so that’s how i slept. slighlty uncomfortable.
waking up wasn’t too hard bc i was trying to motivate myself for it to be a good day, i was gonna even meditate for 3 min at work but realized maybe not w elaine there 😐
which, honestly i like that she comes in & asks what i need, but then she gets all rude like today damn, she snapped at me to close the fucking sink cabinets & that was so f annoying honestly & i think i’m gonna say something bc i’m not gonna stand for this white woman snapping at me. but ima do it nicely bc i still work for this woman (just be straight up but nice lol)
so then i played that meditation song 3x bc it was helping, & was just trying to basically send out positive energy for the day but today didn’t go so good i feel, and it’s bc of my fucking allergies. i was v impatient today w the kids bc my allergies were fucking w me. so stressed out rn for my observation visit, i feel like i already fucked it up bc of what happened today w mili too, bc she was outside w maria talking. i didnt even know i was being..harsh? and all bc of my fucking allergies. i felt oht of it today but i was trying. idk what’s wrong w me to be doing that kind of shit, like i really want to be better for these kids but idk how , & it’s frustrating bc i’m coming from a finance background & i want this credential to prove that i can do it , that i’m serious about it & i can learn this & experience it but maybe i’m searching for it in the wrong place (at FCCDC) ?
espc when i feel like i’m not being supported by my boss at work? what a strained relationship. that she fucked up)
(i think i’m at a painful point in my growth & i haven’t wanted to move on so i’ve been holdjng on to anger, specifically on my trauma and my mom (it doesn’t feel right to call her my abuser. she was verbally abusive ->emotional abuse basically tho) & just thinking of my childhood and memories coming up kinda. like the fact that i can’t remember a lot before pre-k (sometimes idk the little girl i see in pictures)
being alone in the classroom is fucking w my psyche i think. i can’t do all that work by myself, it’s so overwhelming i feel like the only thing i’m able to do is put out fires, and i get so focused on that that i forget about teachable moments and everything i learned/ing about early childhood?
wtf does this mean?? damn am i counscious in the fucking deEP?? i got that jmposter syndrom.
i worry about not doing enough that i overwhelm myself & don’t even know where to start or communicate these things, or who to communicate them to bc it takes a lot for me to trust (thanks mom) . in ths case, w teaching these kids..how the fuck?
i was brought up strict u djmb bitch LOL AND CATHOLIC TOOOO OH FUCK AND IM A FUCKING GAYYYY
i have some serious allergies fuck they fuck w me too much
i just feel like something is wrong w me bc i was more impatient than ever today bc of my allergies
i’m afraid of being abusive, that i am being abusive, & i feel awful about it & remorseful bc these kids don’t deserve that. should i even be allowed near kids? idk.
it feels like i try to put oht positive energy when it comes to hoping for a good day at work & it all goes to shit. that’s the 3rd this has happened, is the universe trying to tell me something? is she trying to chew me up and spit me out? what is going on??
I told you that i went on dates with this guy during my exchange. Well, that didnt work out. It still bothers me from time to time.
I realised so many things while i was dating him. I got to confirm with myself the traits and values that im truly looking for. I want someone who’s:
- not easily jealous.
I get it, we all get jealous, but not that fast. We have to double check everything first. Also, where is the trust? I have alot of guy friends and its hard when youre easily jealous.
- not insecure.
He had alot of insecurities. We all have them. But i dont think your main source of validation should come from your significant other. I felt pressured and felt like i was walking on thin ice everytime. Insecurities cant justify rude actions.
- Not selfish.
I don’t want to accuse him, but he was kind of selfish. He loved me because i was giving him the love and affection he is looking for. And when there was a time that it was hard to do, he started to question me (hence insecurity and jealousy). Love is always willing to give regardless of the return. He would always put himself first and even if he doesnt say it, i can feel it.
- Loves the same God that i love.
Hes a catholic but was reached out by ENC people too. Most of his friends are from ENC. He would go to youth services with me and Sunday services as well. I thought i would help him get closer to God, but he still chose to remain a Catholic. He always gives me the argument of “you dont know theology”, hence why im not a catholic. I think if you only know God through theology and books and not as a father and a friend, its useless. When he told me that he doesn’t think he’ll change his belief because its his tradition despite his hollow belief in it, i knew that im not gonna last long with him.
- mature enough.
He was still pretty immature. I felt like he was forcing his growth because of me and that is not what i want. I realised i dont want to date someone that cant take care of themselves and solely relies on their parents income for everything.
- not sheltered.
I realised i want to date someone with plans in life, willing to change and step out of their comfort zone when necessary, which is almost all the time. He was too sheltered and too comfortable in his own bubble. I felt like i was being tied down, and thats not a good feeling. Hes uncomfortable with change and i knew i cant date someone who isnt ready for adventures.
Despite all of these, i was willing to stay. Because i want to give him a chance. I believe in growth. But i dont think it worked; he took me for granted and was too complacent that I’ll stay with him, and thought that we were already a couple when he was just courting. I am patient when needed, but i also know my worth and what im looking for. I want someone that is not easily intimidated by my capabilities and independence. Someone who won’t take me for granted and actually court me properly.
So i think, this was somehow a blessing in disguise because i will appreciate you all the more and will guide me closer to you.
i dont want to sound rude so if any of this is i profusely apologize. i always felt really attracted to churches, cathedrals and catholic relics. i cant put my finger on why i do. i dont consider myself religious but i know anytime i find myself near religious stuff i cant focus on anything else. i always delve into theology studies!! i just suddenly found out about anglekins while rereading one of my theology books and to be fair im overwhelmed by this. id like a friend who can talk to me
This is probably very old but yeah I get that same feeling! I just get this comfort when around these beautiful churches.