#not even

[louisegluck]

Ocean Vuong, from  “Not Even.” [ID in alt text]

#ocean vuong #time is a mother #not even #***

[dr3amofagame]

honestly, there's probably a lot you can say abt c!dream in terms of losing even when he wins. because, tbh, this is...consistent.

c!dream is very intelligent and very good at PVP and these are well-established traits from the beginning of the server. he is skilled at thinking strategically and therefore is often able to navigate unfavorable situations to him in order to successfully achieve some goal of his. in terms of achieving goals, c!Dream isn't half bad in the slightest! but how do these goals actually work out for him?

in the revolution, c!dream successfully leads his side to victory while minimizing damage to his own people (and, sometimes, minimizing damage across the board: see him telling his men to hold fire to allow lmanburgians to retrieve their items.) the most amount of risk to anyone on his side is during the duel, where he ended up on half a heart to determine the end result of the war. and it's quite undeniable that c!dream wins the war--he gets to set the terms of the peace, gives them "technical" independence as he planned to from the start but says that he and the rest of the Dream SMP will view them as constituents of the greater server and gets both discs after c!tommy offers them willingly. by all means, on paper, a glowing success.

only time passes and as others treat l'manburg as independent, he is forced to do the same. "suck it green boy" becomes one of the most common catchphrases of the server when the independence that was granted them in the book that this statement was written was. literally given to them out of c!dream's mercy? and not out of their victory? he loses both discs AND significant leverage against himself due to various conflicts that involved people stealing from him and/or blackmailing him when he literally wasn't doing anything. l'manburg's ranks have swelled and the story established by it and its independence has long since drowned out any other perspective on the war.

then, in manberg/pogtopia, c!dream enters into the conflict from the perspective of wanting c!schlatt out of power. later on, remaining loyal to c!wilbur, he helps him to successfully pull off the plot to blow up L'manburg and also manages to obtain the revive book through a brief alliance with c!Schlatt. once again, his goals were successfully pulled off in no small part due to his strategizing.

and yet, in the long run, what does c!dream really gain? the revive book is something he evidently didn't know about until the trade with c!Schlatt, and the knowledge of it fucking destroys him. with both c!Schlatt and c!Wilbur dead, he immediately ends up as enemy number one, something c!Wilbur himself states later on. c!Dream, who had never really had any particularly stable alliances pre-manberg anyway, comes out the other side of November 16th even more alone than he had been before, publicly distrusted (not that he was ever really trusted, even by Pogtopia before he officially starts working against them because of the revive book, something that the content creator himself has stated was created purely to explain why c!Dream would switch sides.) the destruction of L'manburg is merely temporary. the plan to blow up L'manburg was c!wilbur's in creation, and considering how open c!Dream is about disliking c!Schlatt, I really hesitate to think that he was going out of his way to ally with guy unless he himself intentionally revealed the revive book to this end (like. c!schlatt is a smart guy, bro.)

c!dream is "secretive" about just about nothing at this time, besides I guess his actually helping Pogtopia (if you can call this guy telling the fucking Manberg cabinet that it's L'manburg, not Manberg, being secretive el em ay oh)--he's open about helping c!Wilbur with the TNT (and c!Wilbur you know, makes a point of doing it in front of an audience both times he asks c!Dream for TNT as well) in Vassal and then on November 6th, and that exact stream is also where he literally walks in the middle of Pogtopia to say hey guys. I'm Betraying You Now. like ???

everything he gains at this time culminates to 1) he helps c!Wilbur successfully pull off a plan that c!Wilbur himself came up with and wanted to pull off and does, to some degree, pressure c!Dream into agreeing with him about--even if c!Dream was going to give him the TNT no matter what, he does display a measure of resistance during Vassal Speech (whether or not you believe this resistance was genuine) and c!Wilbur responds to that by kinda threatening him. So. and 2) he gets the revive book by acting in service to a guy that was clearly established as someone he disliked and feared, and that book is also something that we KNOW scared the shit out of him and like ended up prompting a paranoid spiral that ends with him creating a whole goddamn prison to put himself inside. soooooooo. you know. and all of this is happening at the same time that his losses end up turning into "by the time november 16th rolls around and is over and done with most people either want him dead or are very very close to wanting him dead, cheers!"

then obviously, there's everything from november 16th to the staged disc finale. again, we see c!Dream pulling strategic plays left and right and achieving the goals he has--at this point, often through, uh, less than savory means. through political bullshit with NLM and well, exile, he manages to get the disc during green festival; through helping c!Techno against the butcher army, he manages to obtain a favor; through stuff involving the enderwalk and some kinda deal that im p sure has remained unspecified, he manages to get Cat from c!Skeppy; through experiments with c!Punz, he gets information on the revive book; through green festival, obtaining both discs (and therefore no longer needing to act in terms of political interests with NLM), and establishing common ground with c!Techno, he's able to destroy L'manburg through Doomsday; through having the discs + everyone hating his guts because of Green Festival, Doomsday, and to be fair everyone literally just hating his guts from the outset, he is able to ensure the security of c!Punz, the revive book, and himself by locking himself in prison. A lot of different moving parts, a lot of different goals, a lot of running around the server to get what he needs to get done done at the right times in the right ways, and he manages to con the server and put himself exactly where he wanted to be.

and yet?? and yet??? sure, he pulls off what he wants to pull off, sure he achieves his goals, but in terms of actually winning? he's paranoid and the paranoia just keeps getting worse. the threats to his life and the amount of enemies that want him dead just keep growing in numbers. he finally gets lmanburg blown up for good but you know there's going to be like 4 more factions on this server by the time he gets imprisoned. his friends ditch him and then try to kill him when he clumsily tries to communicate that he's trying to protect them because of the paranoia he has about everyone hating his guts, he explicitly identifies the reasons for people's hatred as having a lot to do with manberg/pogtopia arc where he ends up helping two dead men that aren't around for people to hate anymore, he pulls off staged finale and puts himself in a prison that ends up shattering himself.

like he achieves his goals--even if we're talking about the prison, even if we're talking about the time where things most thoroughly go awry for him because of c!sam's betrayal, you can't say that he didn't achieve what he intended. c!sam kept him alive, and would do anything to keep him alive--he might've been wrong about a lot, but he wasn't wrong about that. and yet. AND YET.

c!dream achieves his goals but where does he end up? miserable and afraid of literally damn near everything and losing his whole mind in the exact prison that he constructed to keep himself safe when in a paranoid spiral about a hostile world that suddenly made so much less sense than he was used to--alone.

like. wdym doesn't lose all he does is lose literally everything he ever had like 😭😭😭😭😭

#c!dreamisms #it's alllll fear all the way down #i have Strong Feelings about manberg/pogtopia too #but that'll have to go into a different post #i feel like. regardless of what you feel like c!dream's /goals/ were in manberg/pogtopia tho #it's kinda undeniable that he loses more than he gains? #i mean unless you're going from the perspective of 'well he kinda lost all of that anyway from the beginning by just being dream' #because to be fair how much of the hatred is even in direct consequence of what he does #even with the inclusion of the revive book it's like. all that did was make him more paranoid #when the ENTIRETY of manberg/pogtopia and how it ended up working out #really did nothing but make him . more of The Enemy and give him more reason to fear for his life #and meanwhile like what did he even gain from blowing up lmanburg fr it remained blown up for like a week #not even #but yeah like. even when he does what he wants. even when he wins? he's not really winning is he

[stackedbirds]

he's kinda like the opposite of that one meme

#tgcf #the font sucks bc i made this on my phone rip #thoroughly traumatised by this book can't wait to finish #I'm like halfway through #not even #ch 92 actually #my art

[an-albino-pinetree]

What the fuck happened

#I was gone for 10 minutes #not even #tree talks #nonsense

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

I've never posted about these guys before but dear lord the train wreck is getting ridiculous

some of my favorites

#watcher #shane and ryan #i would kill to know what that office sounded like an hour #NOT EVEN #5 minutes after they posted #steven lim #shane madej #ryan bergara

[ohshi-kaboom]

Tiiiny doodle dump

A Wild Ragatha appears! (Gave up)

Live love laugh Uzi

SONA‼️ SONA ALERT‼️‼️

(It is SO weird when people notice you, kinda neat tho)

I should draw N

Ive never drawn him before mm

#oh boy here we go #tadc fanart #tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc jax #tadc caine #murder drones fanart #murder drones #murder drones uzi #doodle #half cooked doodles #not even #original art #original character #sona #tadc ragatha #almost forgot the doll

[duckiemimi]

gojo is just a deus ex machina, thanks for confirming.

#not even #HE DIDN’T SOLVE JACK SHIT THEN HE DIED OFF-SCREEN #NO FUCKING FOLLOW UP #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk 237 #jjk leaks #jjk spoilers #gojo

[taylorluvsstars]

How to surgically modify my eyelids so that every time I close my eyes I see this

#dan and phil #dan howell #daniel howell #wad liveshow #we're all doomed #hear me out #not even #you all want him too dont lie

[springs-hurts]

Damn I hate fics where Arthur's knights are more loyal to Merlin than Arthur...no, I love that they support Merlin, but Arthur needs their support as well, he's a bloody king, you can't write him off please!

#well at least Merlin is loyal to him #and gwen #but why people think Merlin or any other knight for that matter will undermine Arthur like that? #they won't #ffs #not even #Gwaine #gwaine was loyal to Merlin #ofc he was #but after taking the oath #he was loyal to arthur as well #same goes for Lancelot #don't undermine #Arthur's authority please #bbc arthur #king arthur #arthur and knights #arthur and merlin

[bulbtree]

im bit slow due cough send help

#in progress #not even

[somebluemelodies]

i swear to god everyone and their goddamn mother on that island are literal feds WHAT IS HAPPENINGGGG

#i check my dash after being gone like #an hour most #not even #AND THE POL LORE I SEE ??? #what in the actual fuck #qsmp

[kiynania]

At first, I thought the reason Zane didn't mention Pixal after he woke up in that pod thingy was bc he didn't remember her

#and then that scene just HAD to ruin my theory :( #i overanalize things too much #dont come for me #ninjago zane #ninjago pixal #pixane #I WANT ANGST PPL #im too lazy to go over it #i just want a proper amnesia zane arc #s4 lasted like 5 minutes #not even #and dont even get me STARTED on s11

[silvercrane14]

What if I just died instead

#cant do this essay if im dead #crane screams #head in hands #research my beloathed #not even #just like. i dont understand my notes #im struggling so bad in this class

[wiirocku]

2 Chronicles 20:17 (NLT) - But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!”

#2 Chronicles 20:17 #not even #need #fight #take #positions #stand #still #LORD's #victory #He is #with you #afraid

[pandakong]

What’s a dragon?

#happy lunar new year #sketchy sketch #not even #almost more of a doodle that I pained #painted #using water and an ink stick on an inkplate is really fun tho #supposedly the brush I used was wolf and goat hair #oh I had another photo with the brushes but it was misaligned and I deleted it oops

[andillwriteyouatragedy]

i uhhhhh. i just saw thor: love and thunder

#personal ramblings #thor #thor spoilers #sort of #not even #just in case though #thor love and thunder #thor: love and thunder #avengers #marvel #classic #fanfic #thor fic #fic