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sunshine-jesse · 5 months

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The Incest End is Not The Bad End, Part 3: The Only End I Know For Real

Alt title: We're roleplaying the endings, not choosing them.

I've focused a lot before on how sickly sweet the chemistry between Ashley and Andrew is and how unproblematic their relationship would actually be under different circumstances, mostly societal ones. I mostly did so to counter the idea that the incest end was primarily a bad end and bring up the assertion that it was the one with the most hope. In doing so, I basically interpreted all of the text within the game in a very positive light, giving off the impression that I think it'll be all sunshine and roses. The reality couldn't be further from the truth? While I think it's the end with the most hope, I ALSO think it'll be incredibly difficult for everyone involved.

As a matter of fact, I think the Questionable end will be the most difficult one to navigate through for Ashley herself.

"But wait," you say, alarm bells ringing in your head, "doesn't she literally fucking die in the Decay ending?"

And I don't think it's that obvious.

First off, why do I think the Questionable end will be difficult to navigate through? After all, Andrew is calm, collected, and Ashley is just a little bit nervous about how he's changing. She also has that ultimate leverage over him, knowing that he's sexually attracted to her and she can use it to keep him by her side. There's little for anyone to worry about, right? Well, no. Not really. As another analyst has pointed out, in the Questionable ending, Ashley has no OTHER leverage over Andrew.

The trinket? Shown to be only situationally useful to them. The future visions don't always show danger, sometimes the demon can just troll them. Sleep? No, he no longer needs Ashley for that. A scapegoat? Not even that. In the Burial ending, he starts to take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others and has no need to pin the blame on Ashley.

Outside of sex, Ashley is more or less useless to him now, at least in her own mind. Truthfully, Ashley is still the most important person in the world to Andrew and doesn't seem to need a reason to keep her around anymore, but Ashley doesn't realize that; it's part of why she's so confused and uncertain. Their dynamic is changing, and she doesn't like it. But in the Questionable ending, all Andrew has to do is not have sex with Ashley (easier said than done if the fanbase [myself] is any indication) and she'll have nothing left. She'll likely have no other choice but to look inward at this point, especially if Andrew doesn't give off any of the usual red flags that make her think he'd leave her.

There's a good chance at this point that their dynamic will flip entirely. Ashley will be the one who needs comfort, and Andrew shows every indication of being emotionally stable enough to provide it. We'll see some Real Mental Illness instead of Possible To Infer But Maybe Problematic To Do So Mental Illness. Whether or not she changes for the better or worse will likely determine the ending we'll get.

…

Except probably not.

Sane vs Questionable can't be THAT different, or we'd be getting 3A, 3B, 3C, and 3D instead of 3A and 3B. And, y'know what? Now I'm gonna start reaching really hard into theory territory rather than just analysis. So, hear me out here.

Both dreams are canon no matter the ending. The only difference is whether or not Andrew sleeps or not; if he does, the vision he gets is for HIM, and Ashley only incidentally sees it. It's much more important to him than to Ashley, because Ashley doesn't get a clear vision like she did in the motel. If them fucking was actually relevant to Ashley, she likely would've seen it no matter the ending. Her reactions reflect this; at first, she appears weirded out, maybe uncomfortable. Then she finds it hilarious. She considers it as a means of manipulation, sure, but the writing is on the wall: She won't NEED to do so no matter what.

Unfortunately, due to her not being able to open both doors, she won't be able to realize this. Oops!

At this point in time it's basically impossible to ascertain what her own personal vision means. I've given my interpretation before, but I ultimately have my doubts that the specific sequence of events is all to relevant. Most weird dream metaphors are clear parallels to past events, but the dream seems to be a metaphor for what the future will hold. The most relevant part is not the ghosts, but instead how Ashley reacts to what is clearly Andrew's soul. She jokes about trapping it in the bottle, but it being as a joke more than anything is a far cry from how desperate her attempts to keep him normally seem. So what gives? What does this mean?

I think, funnily enough, the Decay ending holds the answer.

My most-distanced-from-a-literal-or-metaphorical-reading-of-the-text-but-is-relatively-easy-to-accept theory is that the choices we are given in the game aren't asking us what we want to see from them, but rather, how we see the characters and their relationship. People are distracted by the idea of choice, but the reality is that we're being asked to roleplay (this is an RPG after all) as the siblings and do what we expect them to do. This isn't about choice. This is about BEING them and DOING WHAT WE THINK THEY'D DO.

Here's what I mean.

If we interpret Ashley as having trust in Andrew and his judgment, then it makes perfect sense she'd trust him with her parents. She might be a little worried, but it's pretty clear that her overwhelming desire to keep Andrew by her side is underscored by genuine love and trust. From there, if we interpret Andrew as having genuine love for his sister and a desire to take care of her, then it becomes everyone else's problem that they can't be together; not his. In killing their parents, he comes to terms with this and self-actualizes. He's willing to take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others and has no discomfort with dismembering them.

But if you interpret Andrew as viewing Ashley as a burden and a problem, he can't bring himself to save their parents and have a better life because he views himself as too far gone. He hates himself as much as Ashley hates herself for being unable to break free from her influence. He still feels like she's his responsibility, but the love that exists there is greatly muted and overshadowed by his sense of responsibility and a carnal, physical desire for her. Knowing this is likely part of the reason he hates himself; part of the reason he can't let go.

He, crucially, also squanders Ashley's genuine display of trust. It's HIS fault that things break apart, which is why the skull appears over his head when you accept the mom's offer. Ashley genuinely, seriously loves Andrew and wants what's best for him. She's posessive, but her care is a lot less selfish than Andrew thinks, and he can't see that because he's too blinded by his hatred and (partially sexual) frustration to see who she really is.

On the other side of things, if you view Ashley as being a primarily toxic influence that views Andrew as more of an object than anything, she doesn't trust Andrew to deal with their parents and it's HER fault that things break apart, as the skull appears over her head. She sees him as an object, as a child or toy. She sees him as Andy, not Andrew, and can't process the fact that he can change. It's very overbearingly maternalistic, and I believe this specific choice is the only one where Ashley is actually more like their mother than Andrew, eye colors be damned.

In Burial, she wants to share the vision with Andrew, and he wants to share it with her, because their feelings are genuine and mutual and they want to share the experience (because they might get two visions from it, sure, but the principle isn't that much different) But in Decay, she keeps it to herself. She doesn't trust him or his input, either because she doesn't view his feelings as important or because he either almost squandered her trust (if she was listening in), or because he was generally hostile and disincentivized her from wanting to share.

There are other examples too, like when we're allowed to control Andrew to kill the hitman. If we view him as unprepared or unwilling to kill, we empty the whole clip because he's nervous and doesn't want to do this. If we view him as prepared, calm, and in control, he kills in one clean shot without much of an issue. Washing the [REDACTED] out of the shower drain? We basically get to see if Ashley is actually all that competent at housework or not, and if we don't know the right order, neither does she.

This comes to a head in both of the endings.

In the Questionable ending, we're shown that Andrew slept through the dream. We see what he really wants and the depths of his true feelings. He has very obvious romantic feelings for Ashley, and it's not just physical desire. Ashley's very obviously obsessed with Andrew still, but the fact that he can be present in every painting shows that she ACTUALLY views him that way. She's not just seeking validation; her feelings are real, and she knows it.

Remember, this dream is SHARED. We are seeing how BOTH of them feel.

In the Sane ending, Andrew isn't present, and Ashley is never given a chance to view their relationship as anything other than platonic. We don't know how Andrew feels, and we're arguably never given a view into Ashley's true feelings either, because that would-be revelation is cut off by a vision (indicated by eyes). We're just shown what she should do, needs to do, or will do.

Because we don't view their relationship as romantic, light is never shone on the reality of their dynamic. We never see how obsessed Ashley really is (if anything, we're being misdirected by being shown the opposite), and we never see that Andrew has romantic- if buried- feelings for Ashley that can't just be passed off as carnal physical desire. But since it's still the Burial ending, the dynamic still clearly exists; the endings would be too different otherwise. We CHOSE how we see their dynamic in the basement scene.

In other words…

Without love, the truth cannot be seen.

Reader who is in the know: "…hey wait a fuckin' minute" Me: "MOVING ON"

At some point- probably early on- the Sane and Questionable endings have to converge. Andrew and Ashley will have to have the nature of their dynamic laid out for them in a way they can't deny, and the likely only difference between Sane and Questionable will be whether or not Andrew is surprised/embarrassed, or just goes "I guess that dickhead demon wasn't just tricking us after all" and then the route will proceed as normal. Whether or not they have sex will likely be determined by your choices in Chapter 3 itself rather than Chapter 2 with this in mind. Either way, I think Ashley will go through most of the chapter confused and uncertain and will be forced to develop as a person, for better or worse.

In the Decay ending, as said, we're shown that Ashley doesn't even attempt to share a vision with Andrew, so we get to see a vision where Ashley's frame of mind isn't one driven by mutual affection. In this route, we see Ashley constantly running from -something,- and given dreams are metaphors, I think it's reasonable to assume that it's showing us that Ashley is primarily motivated by a fear of Andrew. Fear of what, exactly, isn't really clear; we know for a fact that she's afraid of losing him, but she's also afraid of the violence he can inflict upon her. Either way, she runs away, we can see the demon say "hmmm how interesting," and then we get a vision of the future.

But it's important to note, that vision is a metaphor, not a literal vision of the future. It takes place in the dream world- unlike any other vision, which takes place in the real world- and there are no out-of-frame eyes in the CGs like there are in the Questionable route. Also, (albeit less convincingly), all the eyes are in the background rather than on the map themselves, like they are when we see the hitman vision. The eyes only exist in the background in the Sane vision too, further adding to the idea that they're a metaphor.

So. If it's not a literal depiction of what will happen, then what exactly is it a metaphor for? Okay. Hear me out. This is my wildest fucking theory yet.

It's a metaphor for the Burial route. Or rather, the kind of event that happened in the Burial route.

What we are being shown in the metaphor is a reconciliation of their relationship, where their true feelings are laid bare. We are put in a situation where they are forced to decide how they feel for each other once and for all. If Andrew holds all the power in the relationship but has no control or awareness of his feelings- represented by whether he was composed enough or not to unload his entire clip-, he unceremoniously kills Ashley. Without that awareness, Ashley cannot even defend herself. She has no control because she isn't dealing with someone who has any either.

(Whether he actually kills Ashley or just some abstract representation of Leyley isn't clear, but it doesn't matter much for the purpose of analysis.)

But if Andrew does have that awareness of his feelings- represented by only shooting one bullet- they can negotiate. Because Andrew is in control, Ashley is also in control, and she can make one of two choices:

She can choose to save herself (and either maintain the status quo or just fucking kill Andrew depending on how literal the vision is). With this choice, she lets her fear overtake her and discards Andrew- the cause of her fear- like trash. He is an object that only exists for her sake, after all, and she can discard him just as easily as he seemed like her could discard her during the strangulation scene.

She can choose to trust and accept Andrew. And given a heart appears over her head, she can choose to love him, and overcome her fear, even at the cost of either her life or their prior dynamic (once more, depending on how literal it is).

Decay is asking us if we think Ashley is primarily motivated by selfish fear or genuine selfless love. But both exist either way, and their relationship must be understood and reconciled at some point; this route might honestly be their only hope for a platonic good ending, but it's going to be dismal and painful either way.

So with that in mind, why is the gun not relevant to the Burial route (yet) if it's such a strong metaphor?

Because the reconciling event WAS the basement scene.

We had to make that same choice there. Was Ashley too afraid of Andrew's interaction with her parents to let him handle it? Or did she love and trust him enough to make that choice? In choosing yes, the ball in Andrew's court. If he chooses to care for her needs, their relationship evolves. If he or Ashley refuse make that choice, that can is kicked down the road, and their relationship continues to deteriorate.

Or decay, as it may.

But in Burial, with that reconciling event having happened, the ball is in Ashley's court. With Andrew having come to terms with many of his feelings (minus his sexual desire), most of his arc is finished. There's probably still a lot of him to unpack on the Burial route, but in the Decay ending, as long as Ashley shows love for him, the final choice always falls on his shoulders. And with his final choice having been made in Burial, all that's left is Ashley's.

And what final choice will she have to make?

I don't know, I'm not a prophet.

But either way, she'll still have to make the choice of whether or not to be ruled by her fear of losing him, and desperately try to grasp for control she no longer needs, or cast aside that fear and allow for genuine, mutual love to flourish. Think about it this way: When you see a corpse, how do you react? If you don't care for the corpse or fear it, you stay away and let it decay. If the corpse belongs to someone you love, you tend to it and bury it.

And what do I think the best case scenario is? Well, I've made my opinion obvious, but I think there's one final thing I need to emphasize:

You don't claw at someone's back like a wild fucking animal if you're not really into it.

#andrew graves #ashley graves #the coffin of andy and leyley #gravecest #tcoaal #tcoaal essay

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themisteriousentity · 9 months

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Do you ever think about how perfectly the three house leaders embody the concepts of "past, present, future"? At least in Houses, it gets a little more muddled in Hopes

Dimitri heavily embodies the past and the way it can drag you down. He forgets the importance of the present and even when going to the officer's academy, he's only going to get access to church records to investigate the tragedy of Duscur, as evidenced by that one event where Dedue and Byleth happen upon him researching late at night in the library and he's investigating Arundel. Even by the end of Azure Moon, he's still not thinking about the future, only putting a stop the the present cruelty and focusing on trying to help that girl he knew in the past until he realizes he can't. It's not until the very end of the game that he breaks from the shackles of his past, but he's also never 100% in the present due to, in Azure Moon, the past never 100% being demystified, as shown by how those who slither in the dark are only eradicated in specific epilogues if you recruited the right characters + bought the DLC.

Edelgard easily represents the present. Her entire focus is on the events of her lifetime and the conclusions she came to based only on (incorrect) past and present information. She came to a conclusion very young and never waivered from it nor investigated it further and only looks towards fixing the problems of the present. The present is built upon by the past, and she perfectly shows that by holding onto past facts to influence the present, but she does not consider the long term future. A youtube video I watched but can't remember the channel name for (I will edit it in as a link if I can remember it) once pointed out that with a merit based appointment system, it'll fall apart as soon as Edelgard is gone and no longer there to maintain it. Not to mention that, like Azure Moon, Crimson Flower has the same issue of only borderline mentioning those who slither in the dark's ultimate demise, and we don't even get a satisfactory ending to that in Crimson Flower. (Side note, Silver Snow is better abut this but is not entirely relevant as that is a Lordless route).

Claude meanwhile is always looking towards the future, informed well by the past and present. He is, of course, aware and affected by the past and present, but like the future itself uses it to build the road to tomorrow. And unlike Dimitri and Edelgard, who have a single minded focus and don't plan for backups, understands that there's no guarantees in anything and is always planning contingencies when he can. And because the future is built from the past and present, he's also the character who most seeks out to demystify them in order to build that future, because even if you don't know a past event, it will still have ripple effect into the future. It's what makes it very important that, unlike Dimitri and Edelgard, Claude steps down from leadership of Fódlan entirely once he uncovers the full truth and realizes that, for all intents and purposes, his type of leadership isn't needed in Fódlan after what it went through and that his next best step is to go back to Almyra and start the next steps there. In fact, in Verdant Wind, they actually almost entirely take care of those who slither in the dark with the only remaining one being Cornelia, but even THEN he had a contingency when he came back to save Fódlan with the Almyran army in the epilogue. Even in other routes, he manages to always perfectly plan for both his demise and his victory, culminating (outside his own path) in Crimson Flower where he plans for his own death. He never stops thinking about the different twists and turns the future can take and plans for it.

This ended up a little bit Claude heavier but to be fair, he usually gives me more to think about.

#fe3h #fire emblem three houses #claude von riegan #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #edelgard von hresvelg #claude fe3h #dimitri fe3h #edelgard fe3h

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dumbstupidlameo · 10 days

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Blissful Pistol

MDNI 18+

ft Jill Valentine x Female Reader

content 4k words [ Gunplay, vaginal fingering, public sex, oral sex, humiliation, reader talks down on them self, insecurity ]

let me know if i missed anything (:

You're a fresh-faced rookie cop, in the East Office of the Raccoon City Police Department. Your pen shakes in your hand as you clutch onto your clipboard, the only thing keeping you tethered to reality. You can still feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins from the last bust you and your more experienced partner made. But now, they've left you alone to deal with the endless stacks of paperwork. You often wondered if you’d be able to keep it together and prove yourself as a worthy member of the force.

You were experiencing a deep sense of insecurity that had taken hold of you. Everywhere you turned, it seemed as though there were people in higher positions of authority who took great pleasure in making you feel small and insignificant…

At the moment, the truth behind said matter didn't seem relevant to you. You had more important things on your mind, particularly Jill Valentine. She was a member of the S.T.A.R.S Team and had received extensive military combat training, earning her a reputation as a total badass among your peers. You admired her courage, intelligence, and loyalty, but she intimidated you beyond belief. To make matters worse, you were incredibly attracted to her.

The way she carried herself was both alluring and intimidating.

Her tactical duty belt perfectly accentuated the natural curve of her hips and had a feminine yet confident sway as she walked

while her holster rested snugly against her thigh. Her pistol hugs her leg in a way that sends a dangerously warm feeling that rises from the deepest parts of your stomach, flooding your entire body with shameful arousal, you shamefully imagined how fucking good that holster would look gripping her bare thigh.

It was wrong, no doubt about it, was inappropriate to think of a coworker like that, especially Jill Valentine. She deserves the utmost respect. Yet here you were disrespecting her merely by your pathetic thoughts

God, you hated yourself

Time has passed, and you've hardly made any progress on your report. You lean back in your chair at your desk, feeling frustrated. If you can't even organize your thoughts, there's no way you'll be able to finish your paper. You sit up and consider taking a walk to clear your head. No one would mind, right? This work is emotionally draining, and you need some time to refocus and get your head straight

You are certain that one of your colleagues had just thrown a teasing remark "Where are you off to, rookie?" towards you, but you weren't paying much attention to your surroundings due to your preoccupation with other thoughts. Moreover, their teasing tone only further disheartened you.

You strolled through the main hall and unconsciously made your way upstairs until you realized just where exactly you were headed, past the S.T.A.R.S office. You stopped in your tracks. God, you were such a creep “There seriously had to be something malformed in your perverse brain” You ridiculed yourself.

As the door screeched open, you barely registered the sound, lost in your thoughts. But then, a voice like that of an angel, or perhaps a goddess, spoke to you in a concerned tone, and you were jolted back to reality. You found yourself face to face with her, struggling to speak as you lingered nervously on your words. "I'm sorry," you finally managed to say, "I didn't quite hear you."

"Hey there, I was just checking on you," the woman in front of you said with a gentle smile. Her expression, however, seemed to be questioning. It had just dawned on you that you had been standing outside the S.T.A.R.S office for so long. You couldn't possibly get any more embarrassing, could you?

"Right!" you spoke weakly before coughing to clear your throat. "Sorry, I was just trying to clear my mind and got lost in my thoughts." You chuckled but immediately regretted it. Sure, you make a fool out of yourself sometimes, but in front of Jill? You should be ashamed of yourself.

Before you have a chance to overthink it any further, she speaks up and says 'All good, no worries.' She tilts her head with a sincere smile that you can't help but return. She is such an endearing woman. 'If you'd like, you can come in and have a coffee with me?' she asks, gesturing towards the S.T.A.R.S. office.

You could feel your face burning from excitement, and you really were hoping she wouldn't notice it, Jill was inviting you for a cup of coffee with her. Sure, it was in the workplace, but nonetheless, this was the closest you'd ever been to her, and you could feel it burning you from the inside out.

“Yes, I’d really like that!” You responded trying not to sound too excited before she turned from you, signaling for you to follow her as she held the office door open for you, letting you walk ahead in front of her before following in.

Jill holding the door open for you was such a small gesture, but it drove you mad with want and desire. She's such a gentleman, really,

One foot in front of the other, you walked into the S.T.A.R.S office, taking in your surroundings you were quick to notice it was only you and Jill in the room together. Even when you doubled back and looked in the armory still, no one but you and her. Jill made her way to the corner counter where the coffee machine sat and started to pour herself and you a cup as well. You felt your stomach begin to ache with anxiety. You couldn’t shake the feeling. Maybe it was just from being alone with such a beautiful woman that made you feel so uneasy?

You peeked in from the opposite direction, catching sight of her gun holster squeezing her thigh, allowing flesh to spill slightly from beneath its tightly-strapped straps. It sure was tight, As she turned to the side, her gun was finally within your sight, pressed snugly against her well-defined thigh. It was almost as if she were taunting you. The sight alone was enough to make you sigh out wantingly. Perhaps that was what brought you back once again to reality

Jill leaned back against the counter and crossed her legs, allowing your eyes to roam freely over her thigh as she conversed, "Something catch your gaze?"

The realization came upon you like a wave of nauseating fear. You'd been exposed; caught red-handed staring at her gun snuggled up so tightly against her thigh, She knew exactly the kind of despicable character you were.

And then you catch her expression; not one of disgust, to your amazement, but of amusement. Yes; she was smiling at you. No... she was smirking at you. Did she like this? Was she enjoying this?

The flow of your thoughts was abruptly brought to a halt as Jill continued speaking, “You think I don't notice you always eye-fucking me?” her voice still bearing an unreadable tone. Yet, the way in which she was leaning, the smirk plastered across her face, these things could only foretell one thing: you were in trouble. Whether it was the type of trouble that’d entice you, hadn't had a clue. But one thing was for certain, the fate of this encounter was soon to unfold.

You stood there, feeling like a deer captured in the headlights. Jill wasn't having it, though - she made that abundantly clear.

"Come to me," she declared, her tone suggesting that was the lesser of two options. "Better yet..." she followed up with an abrupt pause before finishing her demand: "Crawl to me."

that last line shook you to your core. Your fear and anxiety surged as you felt the inevitable, humiliating moment fast approaching.

Your heart was pounding, and your legs trembled as you reluctantly sunk to the floor on your hands and knees and crawled towards her. If you had any dignity left, it was soon to be vacated. This was degrading, humiliating - the way she was staring at you, the way she commanded your actions - yet, there was an undeniable pull towards this woman that you couldn't deny. You looked up at her with pitiful eyes, She matched your gaze, staring down at you like you were already hers,

You moved with deliberate movements as you crept over to Jill, feeling every inch of your thighs rubbing together with every movement. Your body and mind were no longer at war with one another,

When you finally reached her, your gaze remained locked with hers, unable to break free. She had a satisfied look on her face as she leaned down and grasped your chin, pulling you close. "I knew it," she confessed, clearly aware of how your restless eyes had been roaming over her after all this time. You'd feel embarrassed by her statement if it weren't for the fact that you've already sunken to the floor for her.

Her grip on your chin tightened while her other hand traced your jaw, brushing your hair from your face. Her eyes gazed at you with a newfound affection and eagerness. Then, without warning or explanation, she closed the space between you both, her lip slightly parted. She moved her hand to the back of your head to grip onto your hair aggressively, her lips against yours, Your nerves were on fire, and your whole body tingled feeling her lips moving against yours.

She pulled away gradually, a line of saliva connecting your lips. She let go of you harshly, which left you feeling as if you'd done something wrong. You look up at her, leaning up and reaching into her holster to pull out her pistol “So, this is what you wanted?” she questions you, looking pretty entertained

You felt embarrassment build up in your stomach but knew it was best to push that down. Besides, Jill Valentine wouldn't tolerate it. You look up at her with an illusion of confidence, “Yes” ma’am” You nod to her,

To your disarray, she responds by laughing in your face.

Your so-called confidence drops. She must think you're pathetic.

Smiling down at you, she praises “Cute.” This was all she needed to say before she ran her fingertip along the trigger of the pistol in her hand. You weren't scared at all. She was a trained professional. There's no way that she could slip up and hurt you. You knew that for sure — you trusted her.

She watched as your needy eyes followed her fingers, dancing over the trigger as you let out an involuntary whimper that immediately had Jill’s eyes darting straight toward you.

She hummed to herself as if she had gotten a sick idea. She pushes you back a bit, exposing your clothed body to her better. You sat back on your elbows, fear, and arousal in your eyes, looking up at her pitifully.

She traced your upper torso with the pistol in a sensuous manner, reaching down with her other hand she testingly unbuttons the top button of your shirt before looking into your eyes as a way to ask you if this was alright, “Please, Jill” the slightest whisper escaping your lips as an answer to her unspoken question.

With a pleased look plastered on her face, she starts unbuttoning the rest, cool air hitting your chest, and stomach, making your back arch slightly to the temperature.

There you were, sprung out across the floor, balancing yourself on your elbows for her with your shirt barely opened and barely clinging to your body. She inched herself closer to kneel between your legs. She was so close to you that it all felt so fucking real, no longer a pathetic fantasy; it was real.

Jill traces your bra with the muzzle of the gun

“I think it's time this goes too. Yeah, honey?”

Her pet name for you made your heart flutter “You should get this off me” You sounded so out of breath it was humiliating.

Jill reached behind you to unhook your bra. You moved around to help her fully take it off of you.

Jill sat back in awe at your half-naked physique below her. She looked so proud of herself as well,

She eyed your tits, watching your chest rise and fall with every breath you took,

You inhale sharply, and your breathing becomes more erratic.

Now she was the one doing all the eye fucking.

She returned to her pistol in hand and began tracing your bare tits. You could feel your nipples harden under the cold metal of the pistol, her other hand shifting down to between your legs.

Using her middle and ring finger, she slides over your clothed pussy which instantly made you gasp and arch and whine out an “Oh, Jill” to her,

She loved the way her name sounded coming from your pretty mouth.

She leaned down to you once again placing a wet kiss on your chest before moving your lips down to your nipples, taking them into her mouth and teasing her teeth over the now overly sensitive bud, you involuntarily squeeze your thighs around her hips which was now snug up against your aching clothed cunt. Fuck, it was torture, you needed more.

she looks up at you while her tongue circles around your hard, sensitive nipple. The intimidation from her gaze alone could break you. You throw your head back with a pathetic cry for her.

She takes that as a request, raising back up she grabs you by your belt hoops and steadied you into place before unbuttoning your pants and practically ripping both your pants and panties off in one go, she discards them to the side for now, as they're no longer needed.

Your body shivered in anticipation, every nerve feeling as if it were on fire. Your pussy is now positioned right in front of Jill’s face as she gets down to its level, your enlarged puffy clit along with the wetness that soaks your folds is only just begging for Jill’s love.

You look down at Jill between your thighs, hand now gripping it harshly,

She sinks in and places an opened-mouth kiss on your clit, you felt completely out of control, your hips twitching causing a new wave of trembling and shivers as you arched and gasped for her.

She passionately licked and sucked on your pussy collecting all the wetness on her tongue before settling down and tongue fucking your entrance,

Shit, it was almost painful how fucking badly you needed this; how badly you needed her.

You grunted, feeling left breathless and heaving, eyes squeezing shut from pure ecstasy, tears slowly trickling down your face,

She broke away from you, “I know what you’d like” she exclaimed before picking her pistol back up and unloading it, before cocking it back and laying the muzzle right against your puffy fucked out clit,

She pulls the trigger of the unloaded pistol, which causes it to pulse heavenly against your clitoris

“Fuck! Fuck.. Fuck!” you shriek out as your elbows lose their balance, and you collapse against the hard, cold ground, thighs rapidly shaking with no control,

“Sweetheart” hearing her sweet voice brought you out of your haze “You need to shut up” Her tone changes, which almost makes you flinch,

The realization hit you then and there that you hadn't even considered the possibility of someone else walking in or hearing you. Your nervous system was instantly flooded with adrenaline, the thought of someone stumbling in and seeing you exposed on the floor with Jill Valentine between your thighs teasing you with her fucking gun caused your breathing to quicken and your throat to become dry.

The sudden awareness of people walking and talking behind the closed door behind you sent a shiver down your spine and caused your breathing to quicken even further. The noise of their footsteps and voices, however, was barely audible over the sound of your own rapid breathing, unfortunately so, it appears to you that you lacked the dignity to do anything about it at the moment and turned back to face Jill.

With the muzzle now wet from your pussy and with the sudden movement of her pulling it away which causes you to shiver and shudder in sudden embarrassment. The pistol was dripping in your wetness, your breath growing hot and heavy, her pulling away only made you want her back more, the tingling sensation in your chest intensified as she forced the muzzle between your now plumped lips,

Fuck, you could taste yourself on it.

You felt your clit twitch as Jill’s other hand creeps back down to between your thighs, her fingers slipping between your folds, filling in your cunt you happily accepted her.

Her fingers slid deep into your pussy to the point where her palm rested against your clitoris.

You began to fuck yourself against Jill’s hand, she began mouth fucking you with her pistol, pumping it in and out between your pretty lips.

“Such a greedy girl” she cooed at you, causing a broken whine muffled by the pistol in your mouth to barely escape your lips

It was all too much; you could feel your saliva dripping down the corners of your mouth where your lips were sore from being stretched over the pistol, the drool trickled down your chin falling onto your chest like a gentle caress, causing a wave of goosebumps to spread across your entire body.

Her fingers started pumping rapidly in and out of your soaked pussy, wet sounds filling the room along with your swift muffled breaths.

As you lie there in her grip, your eyes locked with hers as the sensation builds up deep inside you. By the way, your chest is rising and the broken-up whimpers barely escaping your lips, she knows she’s about to finish you off. She leans over to talk you through this gently and softly spoken “It’s okay love,” she reassures you; she looked so beautiful looking down at you while filling both your mouth and pussy up, her face glistening with a light layer of sweat.

“Don’t fight it, let it build up honey”

her pace fastens which causes your hips to shoot up in shock from the added friction, which only made her fuck her fingers deeper into your soaked cunt.

As you feel the sensation coursing through you, you instinctively shut your eyes and tilt your head back. At that moment, a gentle voice whispers "Sweetheart" to you, like an angel sent to guide you through this moment of distress. "Look at me," the voice continues, "don't think of anything else." You meet her gaze with a furrowed brow, but at that moment, you trust her more than anyone.

The pressure builds inside of you, your body still buzzing from the intense buildup, causing you to involuntarily jolt as Jill pulls her pistol away from your mouth. Instead of the rough, harsh texture of the metal barrel, she replaces it with the soft and gentle touch of her lips, placing them gently against yours.

The kiss is gentle and soft, her warm, soft lips pressed against yours as she whined softly against your mouth. Her eyes fluttering shut, as you gently lift her hair behind her ear and caress her jawline, returning the kiss to her. The closeness and intimacy of the kiss, combined with the built-up pressure and the sudden calm sensation of Jill's soft touch, makes everything feel heavenly for that moment.

Jill pulled back from the kiss and adoringly looked into your blown-out pupils. She watched them widen as your breath hitched and hips stuttered

“Oh, baby, that's right” she praises to you as your pussy clenched around her fingers pumping in and out of you blissfully

You both looked longingly into the eyes of the other as your built-up tension finally washed over you.

You finished hard on her fingers, cum spilling out from your pussy.

Jill allowed you to ride out your high on her fingers until your thighs stopped quivering, and you collapsed against the cold flooring once again.

Every nerve in your body felt numb. She slowly pulled her fingers out of your pussy careful not to cause too much discomfort in you.

You winced at the loss of her inside you, she gave you a grunt in response, looking very satisfied with both you and herself.

She gently lifts your head off the ground and guides you to sit in her lap, “Here baby, I got you” she said comfortingly.

You look up at her. Her expression reads adoration as she smiles down at you affectionately and tenderly.

Your whole body feels drained, but she just holds you, placing soft kisses on your temple until you catch your breath.

She reaches behind you, sliding your bra back on you, kissing your neck as she clasps the back of it. She pulls your shirt on and buttons the front of it without pulling away from placing loving kisses all over your chest first.

"Wait here, sweetheart," she said as she reached behind her to the corner counter beside the coffee machine for some napkins. After retrieving them, she turned back to you and offered to help clean you up. It was a sweet and kind gesture, and in that moment, it felt like she truly was an angel.

After helping you get yourself put back together, Jill helps stand you up and gazes at you with a contented and satisfying look on her face as she buttons your pants for you. Her eyes lock with yours as she leans in to give you one final kiss on the lips, this one feeling different from the rest. The atmosphere around you feels different, the entire room changing in tone with the intensity and emotion of this final kiss. You've never felt so loved and taken care of before, and there is a sense of warmth that washes over you as the kiss ends. You wondered if she felt it as well.

The walk back to the East Office was painful, every nerve in your body was screaming to turn around and go back and be in her arms again. The desire to feel her softly touching you all over like you'd break if she weren't careful, You wondered if she felt the same way, if this was just a one-time thing, or if it meant anything to her at all? I mean for fucks sake she kissed you like you were hers.

You had no time to overthink it as you had a lot of work to finish at your desk.

The routine of the day went on as the work piled up, and the day finally rolled around for you to clock out and head home, a palpable sense of melancholy filling you as the sounds of chatter and footsteps filled the office around you. Walking out of your workstation with head down and eyes forward, you didn't hear the light panting footsteps behind you as you pushed the exit door open.

“Hey!”

The sudden sound of a voice, angelic and familiar, called out your name and filled your ears as you spun around with a startled gasp, meeting her gaze.

“I’d really like to see you again.”

#jill valentine #resident evil #resident evil x reader #jill valentine x reader #jill valentine smut #chris redfield #claire redfield #leon kennedy #ada wong #x reader #smut #carlos oliveira

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leportraitducadavre · 1 month

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Alright, since I’ve received multiple asks about who I ship Sasuke with (or if I have a problem with specific ships), I’ll reiterate my posture regarding shipping culture:

I think it’s very poor, borderline shortsighted, to focus so incredibly much on the possibility of a character –that never specified being sexually interested in anyone, having a romantic partner. Besides the fact that Sasuke is a very traumatized man, a survivor of state-sanctioned genocide which affects his libido to the point of it being non-existent, the entirety of his characterization revolves around him seeking justice for his family. No. It’s not about his bond with Naruto, it’s not about his apparent sexual tension with Karin, nor is it about his crush (the fuck?) on Sakura.

It’s Naruto the one whose characterization revolves around his bond with Sasuke, it’s Karin the one whose characterization revolves around her sexual desire for Sasuke, and it’s Sakura the one whose characterization revolves around her crush on Sasuke –Sasuke’s entire arc differs completely from theirs, as his entire goal, through the entire series, is about seeking justice for his family.

What happens once Sasuke realizes he won’t be able to kill Itachi if he stays in Konoha? He leaves because he chooses his goal as an Avenger before his connection with Team 7 (yes, Itachi’s presence also reminded him of the imminent threat of having bonds that Itachi could easily destroy, but he doesn’t leave to protect T7, but to seek power to kill his brother). What happens once Sasuke kills Itachi? He learns about the truth behind the UCM, and decides to barge into the Kage Summit to kill Danzo and not return to Konoha. What happens once he kills Danzö? He still decides not to return and plans to bring the entire system down. I mean, where is his “bond with Naruto” in all this? Where is his “sexual tension” with Karin in all of this? Where is Sakura’s relevance in all of this? At no single moment does he focus on these bonds, often questioning the reason why these people are so adamant about pursuing him. Am I saying that they don’t matter at all to him? No, and you know that’s not the point of the post unless you’re looking for a reason to get upset in which case, I cannot help you. What I’m saying is that they’re not relevant to his main goal or characterization, as that power rests upon Itachi’s shoulders. Each character here mentioned has either more or less importance throughout his journey, but none of them are detrimental to his objective and none of them are important enough for him throughout the manga to deviate from his ambition (he even tried to kill each one of them when he deemed them a liability or they threatened the continuation of his mission).

Who do I ship Sasuke with? Nobody, I don’t enjoy a single pairing that is attributed to him, and I wish the fandom would realize that the entire plot revolves around the actions and consequences of a fascist regime, and not about who wanted to secretly or not so secretly fuck who, or who deserve his dick and who doesn’t. Yes, I’m being blunt, and some of you will think I’m exaggerating, but if you don’t see me talking about ships as often as you see me speaking about feminism or politics inside the Naruto manga, well, what a shocker, there’s a reason for it.

And to prevent people from putting words in my mouth, let me say this: I’m not saying you can’t enjoy a ship –go crazy if that’s what you want, do art, fanfics, and whatever rocks your boat, I won’t go after you trust me, but oh my god how come some of you would give a “potential romantic couple” so much more relevance than the actual plot?! Sasuke plainly and continuously reminds the characters and the readers what his true goal is and what he wants, and still, some of you will force a deep reading of a bubble of speech detached from his overall characterization to prove that he was smitten with x,y,z all along!

#personal #sasuke #sasuke uchiha #pro sasuke #pro sasuke uchiha #anti shipping culture #anti shipping #anti sns #anti sasunarusasu #anti ss #anti sasusaku #anti sk #anti sasukarin #anti sns fandom #anti ss fandom #anti sasusaku fandom

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mint-yooxgi · 1 year

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{12} - Morning Mist - Yandere!Dragon!Ateex X Chubby!Reader

Yandere AU & Dragon AU

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst

Pairing: Ateez X Reader (Focus on Seonghwa)

Words: 10,355

Warnings: Threats, mentions of bones being reset, some blood and injuries. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Finally, a chapter I have been waiting for to write!! lmaoo my apologies if the beginning is a little slow, but there’s some big reveals in this chapter that I really hope you’ll all enjoy. The next few chapters might have some more important truths in relevance to the plot, so I hope you all look forward to that! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Also, gentle reminder that I do not do tag lists.

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Mini Masterlist

“You made her a Drygg Promise?” Seonghwa’s voice is full of disbelief as he stares at the younger dragon across from him.

“What Jongho chooses to do with her is completely up to him.” Hongjoong casually adds, turning the page of the book he’s currently reading. Though, none of them fail to miss how tense their leader seems, the sound of paper being harshly flipped through reaching their ears each time he so much as fingers the next page.

“You understand that if you ever go back on your word, a tattoo like mark will appear on your body branding you for all to see?” Yeosang meets the youngest’s gaze, arms crossed over his chest as a hint of worry bleeds into his tone.

Those that break a Drygg Promise are branded in dishonour, marking them as someone unfaithful and untrustworthy to others. It is one of the greatest shames that can befall a dragon, for the mark can never be removed, nor the magic ever be undone. Once a Drygg Promise is broken, it can never be made again.

“I know.” Jongho hums. “Which is why I never intend to break it.”

“Keeping a Drygg Promise is easier said than done.” Yunho states, sharing a brief look with the younger male across the room.

“Did she make one back?” There’s a hint of irritation to Wooyoung’s tone, his entire body stiff as he leans against the wall.

“No,” as soon as the word leaves Jongho’s lip, the male seemingly relaxes. “This one was purely just intended for me.”

“But she agreed to it?” Hongjoong glances at the youngest out of the corner of his eyes, watching the male carefully.

“She didn’t push me away.” Comes the younger’s response.

San pouts, shoulders slumping as he sits in his seat. He wanted to be the first one to make a Drygg Promise with you. It didn’t matter what it was, he just wanted to prove to you how loyal he could be. How faithful. Especially to you.

“You know as well as I do that once the connection is made, there’s no preventing that magic from taking hold.” Yunho sighs, meeting gazes with Hongjoong. “Whether she wanted him to be or not, he’s bound to it. At least from what he’s told us, it’s just him.”

“Why would you do something so stupid?” Mingi shakes his head in disproval, turning to look at Jongho in the next second. “Least of all for her?”

“If I recall correctly, you did some pretty stupid things when you were trying to impress that one she-wolf quite a few years back,” Yeosang hums, flicking his bangs out of his eyes.

Red begins to creep up Mingi’s neck, the male sputtering briefly. “Well, at least I didn’t imprint, or do something as stupid as make her a Drygg Promise!”

“You act like it’s the end of the world.” San grumbles, visibly becoming more upset the longer that this conversation drags on.

“I did what I felt was best at the time,” Jongho shrugs. “My love for her is none of your concern.”

“It is when you threaten our clan’s quest for the crown!” Seonghwa snaps, chest heaving with every breath he takes.

“Well, maybe I don’t want to find this stupid crown!” Jongho retorts, brow tugging downwards in a frown. “It’s made you completely power hungry and desperate to rule! Do you really think that you’d make a good leader when you can’t even swallow your pride for ten fucking seconds and admit your own faults?”

“Watch it, Jongho-“

It’s Mingi that gets cut off by the youngest next.

“And you!” He seethes, rounding on the flaming headed male. “Burning every fucking thing to the ground any chance you get? Tell me, again, how your anger isn’t controlling you.”

“Jongho.” Yunho stands, moving towards the younger dragon in attempts to deescalate the situation before it goes any further.

“None of us are fit to be rulers,” he continues. “Not when half of us can hardly make decisions on how we handle things or how we feel about them.”

Yeosang’s eyes narrow pointedly.

“Not when half of us can barely control our emotions.” Jongho’s eye flash at both Seonghwa and Mingi. “We don’t deserve it.”

“Jongho.” Hongjoong’s eyes flash, his book slamming closed. “That’s enough.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t been thinking about it, too.” The youngest huffs, a puff of smoke escaping his nostrils at how heated he’s become.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Hongjoong’s voice is low, ominous as he slowly stands to his feet.

The scraping of the chair against the wooden floor fills the silence in the room, each male now much more tense than before. A weight has settled over all of them, looming over their heads like a thundercloud.

“I am tired of these fucking raids,” Jongho’s entire expression drops, shoulders slouching as he curls in on himself. “I am tried of having everyone fear us everywhere we go. Our clan name shouldn’t be a cause for terror, or despair. It should be one to be celebrated and supported. There is no honour in senseless violence or killing. I am tired of all this bloodshed. Aren’t you?”

A heavy silence fills the air, drowning them in the harshness of Jongho’s confession.

Seonghwa sees red.

“You’re starting to sound like that fucking huntress-“

Snarls echo around the room, yet none are as loud, or as surprising as Yeosang’s.

“Don’t call her that.” The male’s lips are pulled back over his teeth, fangs on full display.

“What’s the matter with you?” Seonghwa voices, incredulously. “Has she bewitched you, too?”

“Don’t you dare go there, Hwa.” Wooyoung takes a menacing step forward.

“Yeosang couldn’t trust her, and then he spends one fucking day with her and suddenly he’s smitten!” Seonghwa counters. “You can’t blame me for knowing that she’s put a spell on all of you at this point. The fact that she made you make her a Drygg Promise just confirms it. She’s obviously toying with your-“

“I made her that fucking Drygg Promise of my own free will, Seonghwa,” Jongho’s tone is but a growl on his lips as he cuts the elder off. “Perhaps it’s you who needs to reevaluate how you see her.”

“It’s not like we’re going to be able to change it now,” Mingi sighs, shaking his head lightly.

“Even you are acting fucking different towards her since the other day.” Seonghwa’s eyes narrow at the younger male with the flaming hair. “What’s gotten into you?”

“We aren’t as stubborn as you are, Hwa.” Yunho says, eyes flashing at the eldest. “We’ve actually taken the time to get to know her, and realize that she’s not a bad person. We can learn a lot from her. Just look at how far San and Wooyoung have come with their medicinal training in a month!”

“I’m surprised she hasn’t poisoned you, yet.” Seonghwa grumbles, diverting his gaze to the floor for a brief moment.

San, Jongho, and Wooyoung all go to lunge at the eldest. Even Yeosang and Yunho twitch slightly in their spots, but again, it’s Hongjoong that acts first.

Slamming the eldest against the wall, Hongjoong pins him with an arm across the elder male’s chest. The younger’s eyes are a deep gold, flashing dangerously beneath the moonlight as Seonghwa’s own widen in response.

“I will not have you speaking ill of the woman that has not only saved your life, but the lives of your brothers more times than I can count. She has been kind enough to extend her knowledge to us after the multiple stunts you’ve pulled against her and her clan.” Hongjoong seethes, lips pulled back in a snarl as his fangs begin to elongate. “You bring more shame to yourself every fucking day, Seonghwa, that you do not admit your own shortcomings, and apologize for your mistakes. Jongho’s right, you would make a terrible ruler. We all would.”

Seonghwa can feel his heart pounding inside his chest, the familiar bitter taste of tears beginning to form behind his eyes. He blinks them back, but from the way Hongjoong presses him harder into the wall, the elder can tell that the younger is nowhere near finished with him yet.

“Until you can fucking get your head out of your ass, you are banished from this household until further notice.” Hongjoong commands, and he can feel the way Seonghwa’s breath hitches in his throat based on the way his chest freezes beneath his arm. “Do not come back until you have both learned the error of your ways, and have apologized to the woman we owe our lives to.”

In the next moment, Hongjoong shoves himself off of the elder male, backing away from him slowly. None of the others dare to say anything as Seonghwa spares one final glance around at all of them, worried about incurring the wrath of their leader after such a tense exchange.

“Fine,” Seonghwa huffs, straightening out his shirt. “If this is how all of you are going to act, I don’t want to be here, anyways.”

Without another word, or waiting for an answer, Seonghwa storms out of the house. The crisp night air greets him, and he’s immediately shifting, taking off into the night sky without a single glance back.

The six remaining males turn to look at a heaving Hongjoong.

Yunho, San, and Jongho all blink in shock.

“You really chose that witch over your own brother?” Mingi looks appalled, lips parted in disbelief at his leader.

“Watch it, Min.” Hongjoong’s eyes flash as he turns towards the taller male. “Do you want to get banned, too?”

“Not particularly,” he shakes his head sightly, hands raised in his own defence.

“Good.” Hongjoong nods once. “Because despite what it looks like, I’d really rather not have this clan fall apart.”

“We have noticed a slight change in you, Min.” Yunho observes. “Ever since you talked with her that one day.”

“You’re less…” San searches for the proper word, “hotheaded at times.”

Yeosang says nothing, observing the scene before him with his arms crossed over his chest. Casually, he leans back against the wall, making brief eye contact with the taller male. He quirks a brow.

“She just gave me something to think about, is all.” Mingi clears his throat, a faint blush beginning to creep up his neck.

“You? Thinking?” Wooyoung voices, eyes wide in amazement. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

Threateningly, Mingi takes a small step in the shorter male’s direction.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” Wooyoung laughs, putting his hands in front of himself for protection. “It’s just nice to have a conversation without it all bursting into flames.”

This time, Mingi doesn’t stop himself from lunging at the younger male. In a flash, he has Wooyoung in a headlock, the younger thrashing in his arms in attempts to escape.

A long sigh is escaping Hongjoong’s lips in the next second, noticing how Jongho has seemingly slipped out of the front door in all of the commotion.

“Where’d our youngest go?” San frowns, looking around the room.

“Probably to clear his head,” Yunho responds, pulling Wooyoung out of Mingi’s grasp.

The younger male immediately starts praising Yunho, all the while sticking his tongue out at Mingi who is being held back by the taller male.

“I’ve never seen Jongho act like this,” Yeosang’s gaze is locked on the wooden floor, a frown tugging at his features.

“He’s never really been huge on the whole quest for the crown.” Hongjoong shrugs, leaning back against the side of the table. “You all know this.”

“He’s always been silent about this kind of stuff, though.” San’s brow furrows, arms crossing over his chest.

“You know as well as I do that he can get very impatient at times.” Hongjoong replies, staring out of the window as if he can see that familiar golden dragon flying in the distance. “This whole imprinting thing is probably weighing on him in its own ways. He did think she was human.”

“We all did.” Yunho hums knowingly.

“I don’t think he cares about waiting for her in terms of the imprint,” Yeosang adds. “I just think he’s feeling inadequate for her in general.”

“I think you’re right,” Hongjoong sighs once more, turning his attention back to the males standing around the room before him. “It’s frustrating when you want to learn all there is about a person, but they keep you at arms length.”

“Speaking from experience, Leader?” Mingi quirks a brow.

“I’m just saying I can understand how Jongho feels.” Hongjoong responds, tilting his head in Mingi’s direction.

“I think we all can.” San mumbles, rubbing a hand over the side of his face.

A look is shared between Yunho, Hongjoong, San, and Wooyoung. Even Yeosang spares a quick glance upwards in response.

“Trust isn’t something that’s given,” Mingi comments, already heading down the hallway and to his room for the evening. “It’s earned.”

The sound of his door swinging shut echoes through the silence that has befallen the room. Five males can only stand there in shock, sparing glances at one another at the words that have just been uttered by their hotheaded brother.

Did he just agree with something you have always believed?

Blinking, Hongjoong clears his thoughts enough to face the remaining four males before him. “Remember, don’t let Seonghwa back in unless he has fulfilled his requirements. No matter what.”

Firm nods of agreement greet Hongjoong in response, the other males dispersing to their rooms for the evening shortly after that. Hongjoong, on the other hand, steps outside, the fresh air helping to cool his heated skin and clear his head even further.

Wordlessly, he shifts into his true form, stretching his wings out before leaping into the night sky. It wouldn’t hurt to take a quick flight around the area, and maybe even check in on you this evening.

After all, he’s just doing what he should be as his clan’s leader, and making sure Seonghwa hasn’t done anything to harm you in retaliation to his decision. No other reason…

You, on the other hand, had finally been able to finish that book you had been meaning to all those long weeks ago. Your eyes are strained, and exhaustion seeps into every pore of your body as you blow out the oil lamp resting beside you.

Just as you begin to crawl into bed, you sense a familiar presence flying closer and closer to your cabin. You’ve long since sensed the other circling over the area for at least ten minutes or so, so when you feel the other, you believed it’s simply Hongjoong coming to collect their youngest for the evening.

Unbeknownst to you, as you succumb to the darkness of your own consciousness, both dragons opt to steer clear of one another. Not once do they cross paths, purposely avoiding the other as they pass protectively over your territory.

Little do any of you realize that they stay for the entire night.

The very next day, Yunho visits you with Yeosang by his side.

To say that you’re surprised would be an understatement, considering you would have expected either Jongho or Hongjoong to have brought you the news of Seonghwa’s temporary banishment. Either way, you’re grateful for the information, inviting them in for lunch all the same. A fact of which they both gladly accept, Yeosang attempting to not look too eager as this will be the first time he’ll get to properly eat your cooking firsthand.

They stay for a few hours, offering you help around your house to do some small chores in thanks for the meal. You accept, and in no time at all, have completed your small list of things to do for the day.

Some time in the afternoon, you hear both Chenle and Renjun enter your house. You could sense their presences getting closer, and you noticed that Yunho’s head lifts ever so slightly when they get about thirty feet from your door.

A subtle smile had pulled at your features at that, happy to know that your training with San and Wooyoung has been beneficial not just for them, but their brothers, too. You may not have agreed to train any of the other Halas, yet, but that doesn’t mean they cannot train each other.

Needless to say, once both Renjun and Chenle entered your house to see those two specific Hala dragons sitting in your living room with you, all sharing glasses of iced mint tea, they were shocked. Chenle immediately ran over and jumped into your lap, smothering you in his affection and noticing how the smaller Hala of the two attempted to hide his irritation. At least he did better at hiding his annoyance than Yunho.

Some time later, all four of them opted to leave you for the evening. The Halas told you that they didn’t want to overstay their welcome, to which you replied that they were welcome anytime.

Both Yunho and Yeosang had blushed at that, small smiles tugging at their features as they bid you a final farewell and took off into the sky. Of course, Renjun and Chenle shared a look between one another as this occurred, a knowing gleam shining within the elder’s eyes.

The two Neos left shortly after that, Chenle reluctant to head home as always. He promised to come see you again soon, to which you simply chuckled at, and sent them both on their merry way.

Days pass, and both San and Wooyoung happily continue their training with you. More often that not, they are accompanied by one or more of their brothers, if they don’t come to visit you themselves on their own time. It’s nice having the company, and they get along great with your Neos, so you’re no longer worried about any conflicts arising. Hell, even Mingi has been starting to join his brothers at times, a fact which surprises both you, and them, more often than not.

For over a week, none of them have seen sight, nor heard any sound of Seonghwa. You track him the odd time, just to ease the worry in Hongjoong’s mind, apparent in the way the male’s hands twitch in his own hold, and his brow creases occasionally.

How you manage to be able to find the eldest so quickly, over such a vast territory still amazes him. Hongjoong has half the mind to ask you to teach him how you do it, but he doesn’t want to overstep. Though, you seem to catch on pretty quickly.

“I’ll send a message when I’m ready to teach you,” you smile, and it’s as if that single expression lights up the entire room. Then, you’re turning towards Yeosang and Yunho. “Do you two still wish to accompany me to Rose Village soon?”

Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice Jongho stiffen.

“If you’ll have us,” Yeosang replies, a slight nod to his head.

“Again, I’ll send word when I’m ready.” You meet his gaze, shifting to look at Yunho in the next second. “I don’t know how you convinced Taeyong, but if he’s okay with skipping his favourite supply run of the month, then I have no issues with you two joining me.”

“If it’s his supply run, why do you have to go?” Jongho grumbles, arms crossed over his chest.

“I usually only join him on this run twice a year.” You say, turning to face the pouting male leaning against the side wall. “There’s a specific harvest festival that happens during both the spring and autumn seasons. I usually just gather the rarer herbs that the merchants bring in. Taeyong enjoys going for the flowers.”

“Don’t tell him you said that,” Renjun pops his head out your backdoor, wiping his hands on a cloth. “It’ll ruin his reputation.”

“Oh, my bad,” you playfully roll your eyes. “Big scary Neo leader likes flowers, big shocker there.”

“Wait, so it’s not Jungwoo that made the giant garden in their front yard?” San’s brows furrow, head tilting curiously in your direction.

“Oh, Jungwoo makes sure to maintain it,” you grin. “Along with dear Junnie here.”

At the way you move over to affectionately wrap your arm around the male’s shoulders, shaking him slightly, Renjun sends you a glare.

“My Neos are softer than you think,” you chuckle.

“We could still level a mountain if we wanted to,” Renjun grumbles.

“I know,” you hum, smiling fondly. “I would be upset if you couldn’t. Considering I taught you how to.”

“You can level a mountain?” Nothing but awe paints San’s features, the other Halas looking no different despite those that attempt to hide it.

“I can do many things, Sannie Boy,” you smile, though it becomes a little more unnerving the longer they all stare at you. “You just haven’t asked.”

The Halas all share a brief look between one another. None can deny the way hope begins to flood their veins, hearts beating erratically within their chests. Are you implying what they think you are? Are you, perhaps, beginning to trust them?

“Taeyong knows how to balance himself well,” you comment, shooting a brief glance at Mingi out of the corner of your eyes before turning to stare directly at Yeosang. “Wind can be harsh, and destructive, but it can also be calm, and refreshing. To every disaster, there is always hope.”

Yeosang nods, an understanding crossing his features as the others turn to look his way.

“Every power is like that,” you add, dropping your arm from around Renjun’s shoulder, much to the male’s content. “There’s good and bad in everything. What matters is how you wield it.”

“Oh, don’t start that lecture again,” Renjun rolls his eyes playfully at you, poking your arm lightly. “You have things to do.”

You shoot him a look before huffing out a laugh, “I suppose you’re right.”

“We better get going, anyways,” Hongjoong says, motioning for the rest of his clan to move with a jerk of his chin.

“We can stay and help,” Wooyoung offers, an eager gleam shining within his eyes.

You smile, “not this time.”

The way both he, San, and Jongho all visibly deflate at your response has you shaking your head, almost affectionately, at them.

“I’ll see you all again, soon enough,” you promise, waving them off. “Be safe. All of you.”

This is the first time Mingi has heard you wish them well while leaving, and he cannot deny the way his heart falters for the briefest of moments. A warmth unlike anything he’s ever felt before floods his veins, beginning from within his chest and spreading outwards. A feeling which he wants to feel more of, and soon.

Taking off into the sky, each Hala can still feel your gaze locked on them, tails flicking happily in the breeze. For the first time in a long time, they circle around one another, teasingly brushing each other with their wings, or rolling over their backs mid-flight. It makes them feel like their old selves again, a joy washing over them that they haven’t felt in a long time.

Finally, they can relax a little. Be more carefree. The weight of searching for the crown is no longer pressing against each of their shoulders, and it’s all thanks to you.

***

The tenth night after Seonghwa’s banishment from their nest, you hear a knock at your door. It’s faint enough that you almost miss it, as if whoever it is simply brushed their knuckles against the wood. However, from the presence you sense just on the other side, you know it simply isn’t just the wind.

With your guard high, and lights illuminating the kitchen, you open the backdoor.

The sight that greets you is one you honestly never would have expected, blinking mildly in shock.

There, looking even worse than the night you caught him with your dagger, stands the eldest Hala dragon. Scars litter what little exposed skin you can see of him, dirt and blood smeared against every free inch of his clothes. He holds his wrist in his one hand - the same one you broke all those weeks ago - rubbing it tenderly with his fingers. A gentle click can be heard each time he does so, the bones shifting uncomfortably beneath his skin.

His eyes are bloodshot as he meets your own, tears lining the corners and threatening to fall at any second. He keeps his lower lip caught between his teeth, grimacing as he meets your gaze.

Your nose crinkles from the stench radiating off of him, and you hear him sniffle.

You quirk a brow.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” his voice comes out small, strained from what little use he’s made of it over the past ten days.

The eldest avoids your gaze, suddenly finding the wooden flooring beneath your feet the most interesting thing he’s ever seen in his life.

“So, you decided to show up on your enemy’s back porch?” You hum, leaning against the frame of your open door.

“You are not my enemy.”

To say his words shock you would be an understatement, unable to hide the surprise from pulling at your features.

“Why did you simply not just go home?” Your tone is softer than a moment ago, and he finally lifts his gaze to meet your own.

The first of his tears begin to slip down his face. “I can’t go home.”

“Oh?” You tilt your head slightly in inquiry. “And why is that?”

He purses his lips as best he can, but he cannot prevent the way that his chin trembles.

The next moment, he straightens himself, as if in attempts to control his emotions. “Forget it.”

The way you can just tell that he’s attempting to hold on to the last shreds of his pride as he goes to turn away from you has a low sigh escaping your lips.

“Asking for help does not make you weak, Hala.” You state, noticing how he freezes in his spot at your words.

“Seonghwa.” His voice is gruff as he spares a glance at you from over his shoulder. “My name is Seonghwa.”

“And I shall refer to you as Hala until I deem it time for you to hear your name being graced by my lips.” You reply, arms crossed over your chest. “Do not forget you went after my back not once, but twice after I spared your life both times. Not only that, but you continue to insult me, and threaten me after everything I have done for both you and your clan. I have every right to watch you die right here on my back porch this very second, and revel in every moment of it.”

You do not fail to miss the way he flinches at your words, guard raising as his lips pull back in a snarl.

“This was a waste of time,” he manages to get out through gritted teeth, turning away from you once more.

“You need to work on your perception, Boy,” you state. “I never said I wouldn’t help you.”

Yet again, your words have him freezing in his tracks.

“I owe that much to those brothers of yours.” You hum. “Perhaps one more so than the others.”

“Jongho,” he whispers, turning back around to face you, approaching you cautiously all the while.

“Yes, you have your youngest to thank for this,” you nod softly, relaxing your tense shoulders the slightest bit. “He continues to surprise me every day.”

“Then you’ve-“

“No.” Your reply is somewhat firm, a gentle shake to your head. “I have not. But, like I said, he continues to surprise me.”

Seonghwa says nothing as he steps right up before the threshold of your door, that invisible barrier still keeping him out for now.

“Do you have any life threatening injuries that I cannot immediately see.” You ask him, eyes quickly trailing over the front of his torso.

You do not fail to miss the way that he seemingly shivers beneath your gaze.

“I don’t think so.” He mumbles, shifting slightly from foot to foot. Again, he rubs his wrist, the bones clicking together unnaturally.

“Alright, then you need to bathe before I treat you.” You reply bluntly.

“Excuse me?” He blinks, clearly taken aback by your command.

“Well, other than the fact that you reek for the moment, the cleaner you are, the easier it will be to treat your wounds.” You explain, a knowing look to your eyes. “Wounds that I’m surprised haven’t started healing by themselves, yet.”

“Where the fuck do you suggest I do that?” He counters, irritated frown pulling at his features.

“If you learned some patience, Young One, you would have already been told the answer by now.” Your gaze sharpens, shoulders tenser than a moment ago.

His lips purse once more, jaw twitching slightly in response.

“I will allow you to bathe inside, but the second I sense any hostility from you, I will not hesitate to reestablish my barrier.” A firm look is sent his way. “Believe me when I say: you do not want to know what it feels like to have your lungs crushed from the inside out.”

Visibly, the eldest Hala swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing from the movement.

“Do you understand?” Your eyes flash, an undertone of a threat to your words.

A brief pause.

“I understand.”

“Good,” you nod once before backing away from him slowly. “You may follow me.”

Hesitantly, Seonghwa takes a step towards your house. Slowly, he raises his one hand, testing the entranceway for that barrier to see if he’ll run face first into that invisible wall. When he feels none, a mild look of surprise crosses his features, but it’s gone just as quickly as it appears. Wordlessly, he enters your house.

The whole time you lead him to your bathroom, you keep your front facing him. Your eyes are sharp, guiding him through the house without even so much as a glance behind you to check where you’re going. Even when you reach the bathroom, you keep your gaze fixed on him while you begin to set everything up.

To say Seonghwa is a little unnerved would be an understatement. He would have thought you’d need to check your surroundings at least once on the trek to your bathroom. However, the way you watch him like a hawk doesn’t necessarily surprise him. He knows he deserves it. Hell, if he were you, he’d be doing the exact same thing.

“The towel is on the rack.” You comment, moving around him once he fully steps into the room. “Unfortunately, I cannot wash your clothes in such a short amount of time, but I’ll lay out some fresh ones on the bed for when you’re done. Don’t worry, they’re not mine.”

“They belong to your cubs, or something?” His voice is low, eyes darting almost longingly to the tub with faint steam rising from it.

“Or something,” you breathe. “I’ll be in the kitchen once you’re done. You decide whether or not you want to keep your shirt on while I treat your wounds.”

Without another word, you’re closing the door quite harshly in his face.

Letting out a low sigh, Seonghwa runs a his fingers through his hair. His whole body aches, and it’s a pain to even so much as strip himself of his tarnished clothes, but he does.

What’s even more surprising to him is how you actually agreed to help him. Sure, your guard is still high, and it’s clear you don’t trust him, but you still allowed him into your home. You still drew him a bath, and are going to treat his wounds.

Perhaps he should follow his instincts more often. Maybe, just maybe, Jongho and his other brothers are right. For once in his life, Seonghwa should swallow his pride. He may just likes what becomes of it.

Sliding into the water, the male nearly lets out a low groan at the way the warmth immediately begins to loosen his tense muscles. The faint scent of lavender and lilac fills the room, and he finds himself relaxing more into the tub the longer he lingers.

A little while later, and after Seonghwa has finished cleaning himself up, he steps out of the tub. Some of his smaller cuts have seemingly healed in the time he took to bathe, his muscles feeling looser and more relaxed.

Sure enough, once he steps out of the bathroom, nothing but a towel around his waist, he sees a small pile of clothes left on the end of your bed for him. They’re clean, but he cannot help but notice the undeniable scent of a male faintly clinging to the material.

For some reason, it bothers him.

Yet, you sure are extending a tremendous amount of trust in him right now. Maybe, you’re simply testing him. Seeing what he will do if left alone in your room without you watching over him at every turn. He could tear your entire house apart right now if he wanted to, but he doubts you would let him so much as scratch your walls. Either way, he’s still cautious. He doesn’t trust you fully yet, either.

Stepping back into the kitchen, he sees you already leaning against the side counter with your arms crossed. Jars and bowls of ointment and herbs rest on the counter before you, oil lamps spread throughout the room and illuminating the space brightly.

“Better?” You meet his gaze, not even fazed that he left the shirt you gave him undone for the moment.

A curt nod is all that greets you in response, his hand once more coming up to rub at that one wrist of his. Again, a small clicking can be heard emanating from the bones each time he rolls it.

You click your tongue. “You really don’t know how to survive in the wilderness on your own, do you?”

“Of course I do!” Immediately, he goes to defend himself, scowl taking over his features. “I just-“

You raise a hand in the air, halting his protests dead in their tracks. “You fell into a bush of wild rat thorns while chasing something, didn’t you?”

At the way he remains silent, you have your answer.

You sigh. “Are you aware of what wild rat thorns are?”

“They’re thorns, aren’t they?” He replies smartly, his features twisted into a frown.

You snort out a laugh. “You’re technically not wrong.”

“If my wrist didn’t give out on me, I wouldn’t be in this mess right now,” he snaps, eyes flashing dangerously as he meets your gaze. “It’s your fault I’m hurt.”

“Not my problem you let it heal incorrectly.” You hum, pushing yourself off of your counter in order to step towards your supplies all laid out before you. “Also, not my fault, when I was simply defending myself against your disgraceful attack.”

“I should have just killed you when I had the chance,” his scowl deepens, fangs glinting in the light of the lamps.

You sigh, shaking your head. “Do you not ever tire of the front you put up, Hala? Does it not weigh on you every day?”

The way his breath hitches is slight, but you do not fail to miss the way he freezes momentarily in his spot.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” His voice is low, deadly.

“Don’t I?” You quirk a brow, leaning forward to rest your one palm flat on the counter before you. “You’re the type to carry the weight of the entire world on your shoulders. Every little thing that goes wrong, you blame yourself for, lashing out at anything or anyone when they try and get close. You wish to become stronger so those same mistakes never happen again, and when they do, it consumes you. You always feel as if you have something to prove, too. ‘Best them before they can best you’, am I right?”

“What do you know about it?” He hisses, his eyes glazing over as a fresh set of tears begin to prick his vision.

“You and I are more alike than you realize,” you meet his gaze. “I was exactly as you are, once. I see my former self every time I look at you, back when I almost completely lost myself.”

Seonghwa’s expression is stern, whole body tense as he stands across from you. His hands are balled into fists at his side, and they begin to shake in a barely controlled rage. His eyes flash gold.

“You know nothing.” He spits, tone but a harsh growl on his lips.

“I know more than you do, Boy,” your own eyes flash in warning, mixing some herbs together in a bowl. “I know how toxic your behaviour can be, especially to those around you. There is only so much that another can put up with, if you do not choose to change, even if they care about you deeply.”

“You don’t know me.” His voice is low, body angled towards you as if he’s ready to strike at a moment’s notice.

“No, I do not,” you agree. “And you do not know me. But, as I have said, I have been where you are, and believe me when I say that you do not want to slip any further down that cliff. There is almost no coming back from it.”

Seonghwa smartly remains quiet, but there’s no hiding the disgust that pulls at his features.

“Now, would you still like me to treat your woulds, or are you going to throw another tantrum and storm out?” You quirk a brow, raising the one mortar in your hand and shaking it slightly.

Seonghwa takes a moment to think over his answer before wordlessly sitting himself down on the stool at the edge of your counter. His decision seems to please you, for the corner of your lips are quirking upwards as you nod once in his direction.

“When was the last time you properly ate something?” You ask, grabbing a separate bowl off of the side counter as you approach him.

The way his stomach growls is answer enough.

“That’s what I thought.” You chuckle, sliding the bowl full of berries over to him. “Eat that, and then drink this.”

Pouring the mixture of herbs into a steaming cup of water, you begin to swirl the contents with a wooden spoon.

Warily, Seonghwa eyes the fruit before him. He can feel his stomach twisting in hunger, but he’s cautious. Who knows what you could have added to these berries while he wasn’t in the room.

“I didn’t poison them, if that’s what you’re worried about.” You roll your eyes, taking a step forward to pluck a berry from the bowl and pop it into your mouth. You make a big show of swallowing the fruit before meeting his gaze. “See.”

Still, he doesn’t move.

“Look, you need to have something in your stomach for the tea to properly work.” You sigh, rubbing at the bridge of your nose with you one hand. “I can see that the herbs in the bath helped your minor wounds, but if you’ve been practically starved these past ten days, drinking this on an empty stomach won’t be beneficial to your health.”

A moment of silence passes between the both of you as you continue to stare at one another. That is, until the sound of his stomach growling quite loudly cuts through the tension.

You chuckle, a knowing look sparkling in your eyes as he grumbles to himself. He pulls the bowl of berries in closer. Slowly, reluctantly, he begins to eat the berries, eyeing you cautiously all the while.

Exhaling an amused huff, you place the tea beside him. “Good Boy.”

It’s faint, but Seonghwa hates the way his back straightens the slightest bit at your words.

“How do you know all of this?” He asks after a few minutes of stillness.

“I believe I have mentioned before that my father has trained me vigorously since I was small.” You reply. “Then again, I’m surprised your brothers haven’t shared all that they can about me in their little story times.”

“I wouldn’t know,” he mumbles, finally take a small sip of the tea you’ve brewed him.

The flavour isn’t anything special, but the more he drinks, the more strength he feels returning to his body. A warmth begins to spread outwards, radiating from the centre of his chest, heart beating firmer within. His wrist doesn’t hurt as badly, either.

“Ah,” you nod lightly in understanding. “I see.”

“The never shut up about you,” he says after a minute, staring into that now empty bowl.

“Do you still believe I have deceived them all with some spell?” Your voice is even, a hint of amusement bleeding through.

He takes a moment to think about it, hiding the lower half of his face behind the cup as he hums, “undecided.”

You laugh. For the first time in front of the eldest, you laugh.

To say the sound catches Seonghwa off guard would be an understatement, but it’s welcome, nonetheless.

“I may be strong, Hala, but deception is not something I have ever been good at.” You respond, grabbing a jar from your supplies on the counter and opening the lid. “At least, not bewitchments.”

At the familiar faint smell of lavender that fills the room when you open that jar, Seonghwa immediately know what type of ointment resides inside.

“Yes, you should be familiar with this paste,” you smile lightheartedly, watching as the tips of his ears dust a light red. “Yeosang informed me that you had run out of the last jar you stole.”

“Of course he did,” the eldest sighs, his one nail scratching lightly over a pattern on top of your wooden counter.

“Then, you know how to apply it,” you push the jar towards him.

“I thought you were supposed to be treating me?” He shoots you a brief look out of the corner of his eyes.

“I’m sure you don’t want me getting up close and personal with you any time soon,” you tilt your head knowingly. “You are more than capable of applying the treatment to the affected areas. Though, it won’t heal your wrist.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my wrist.” He counters, holding it to his chest protectively as his eyes narrow.

“Right.” You shake your head in disbelief. “And it doesn’t click every time you twist it.”

For the nth time this night, he purses his lips, but says nothing.

“It didn’t set, nor heal properly.” You continue.

“No thanks to you.” He spits, frown suddenly tugging onto his features.

“Would you like me to fix it for you?” You inquire, leaning once more against the side counter. “I can’t promise that it’ll be painless, but at least you won’t have any permanent damage this way.”

Seonghwa gently places his hand back onto the top of your counter, staring intently at his wrist.

“Why would you offer to help me? I’ve done nothing but disgrace you since we’ve met.” Seonghwa’s voice is low, words but a whisper on his lips.

“I am not unreasonable, Hala,” you reply, tone soft as if you’re coaxing a child out from hiding in the closet. “Like I said, you and I are more alike than you realize. Sometimes all it takes is one moment of kindness to show you a new perspective on life. Besides, I owe your brother.”

“I don’t understand you,” he shakes his head, lifting his gaze to meet yours in the next second. “You hold yourself like an ancient, yet you aren’t one. Why?”

“Does that bother you?” The corner of your lips tug upwards as you move to pull up another stool across from him.

“Not going to lie,” he rests both his palms flat on the table. “It pisses me off.”

“Because you hate the ancients?” You ask casually, dragging over a small bowl filled with a herbal liquid to rest before you. A cloth rests over the side, to which you begin to drag through the mixture, squeezing out the excess shortly afterwards.

“How do you know if I hate the ancients or not?” His tone is guarded, but he doesn’t look away.

“I told you, we are more alike than you think,” you sigh, wringing out the final drops of that mixture from the cloth. “Give me your wrist.”

Extending your left hand out, you hold it with the palm facing upwards to him.

Briefly, his eyes dart from your face to your hand, a hint of hesitancy to his movements. Still, he reaches out his injured wrist, placing his hand in yours gently.

Your touch is soft as you tenderly wrap the cloth around his wrist. In fact, it’s much more tender than anything the eldest could have ever expected.

A shiver caresses his spine.

“This will hurt,” you repeat your words from earlier as you meet his gaze. “Do you need to bite down on something, or will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” his reply is gruff, already preparing himself for what is about to come.

“Brace yourself,” you warn. “I promise to make this quick.”

“Will you hurry up already- fuck!”

A loud crack echoes around the room as tears spring to the eldest eyes. The fingers of his other hand dig harshly into the wood of your counter, and he’s surprised he doesn’t smash the wood with how hard he’s gripping onto it. His bottom lip is pulled between his teeth, puncturing the skin lightly. Enough so, that he can taste the faintest bit of blood on his tongue.

Softly, you coo at him, brushing your thumbs overtop of the cloth as you set his bones properly.

Seonghwa takes this time to observe you carefully. Your face holds no malice in your expression, a softness to your features as you caress his wrist. There is an air about you that demands attention and respect, but he thinks it’s not even conscious on your part. An air of which he’s drawn to, inexplicably.

His gaze shifts back to your hands, still cradling his one wrist so tenderly. His eyes lock on faint scars lining your skin, raised in uneven bumps along the surface. Though, with the way they follow a circlet type pattern around your wrists, a sort of understanding washes over him. Scars of which he or his brothers have never noticed before, until he got this close.

As soon as you’re done, it’s like a wave of calm settles over him. His chest still heaves, but he finds the pain in his wrist ebbing away with each breath he takes. The bones in his wrist are healing unnaturally fast, and he realizes with one glance into your golden eyes, that this is your doing.

“You’re a healing dragon.” He states, a sense of awed bitterness radiating off of him.

“Not quite,” you sigh, finally releasing the hold you have on his wrist and taking the cloth with you.

“The hell do you mean, ‘not quite’,” his lips curl, that familiar anger flashing within his eyes.

“My existence is a myth in itself, Boy,” your eyes narrow as you push yourself up from your spot, moving to dump the excess liquid into the sink.

“What do you mean?” His brow furrows as he leans back slightly in his seat, observing you carefully. “Is that why there are scars of iron burnt around your wrist?”

A warning growl echoes around the room. “Be careful, Boy. You are asking questions way beyond your league.”

Seonghwa takes a moment as he looks down at his own hands which he has pulled into his lap. His wrist no longer hurts. Instead, a dull warmth has settled in his bones beneath his skin. He flexes his hand. “I’m sorry.”

You drop the bowl into the sink.

A brief silence settles over the both of you, only breaking once Seonghwa clears his throat.

“Thank you for healing my wrist.” He stands, and you can only blink at him in shock as he bows to you. “I apologize for all that I have done to hurt you. I can never take back my words or actions, but I realize now that I have misjudged you. Thank you for taking care of me when I don’t deserve it.”

A few more seconds pass by with him bowed lowly to you before he’s straightening himself. A moment later, and he’s heading towards your backdoor.

“Where do you think you’re going?” The corner of your lips quirk as you lean against the side of the counter.

“I fear I’ve overstayed and overstepped.” He replies.

“You’re suddenly a lot calmer than you just were a few minutes ago.” You comment. “What changed?”

Briefly, his gaze darts down to your wrists, and you sigh.

“So, seeing the scars my old iron shackles gave me was the deciding factor?” You voice, and you watch as he’s shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot.

Again, he remains silent.

“You certainly are a strange one, Hala,” you shake your head before motioning back to the stool he had previously been occupying with your chin. “Sit. We have much to discuss.”

Slowly, he creeps back over to his seat, sitting himself stiffly on the stool. He can only watch as you slide that still open jar of ointment closer to him from over the counter.

“Looks like you now pity me in the same ways I pity you,” you hum.

“I don’t need your pity,” he retorts, snatching that jar off of the top of the counter as he begins to rub the ointment over his upper body.

“And I do not need yours.” You agree. “That does not prevent it from still being there.”

“You never answered my earlier question.” He diverts the topic. “About why you hate the ancients.”

You move back over to your own stool, tugging it a little further out from the counter before sitting back down.

“Most of the ancients hold power to the highest regard. It has been engrained into me since I was small, and took years for me to unlearn that power isn’t everything.” You begin, eyes narrowing carefully at the dragon across from you. “I guard myself as I do because my father always raised me as a weapon. I was not supposed to ever exist.”

“That does’t explain why you hate the ancients.” He mumbles, pausing only briefly in his application of the salve to glance upwards in your direction.

“I don’t hate my Uncle, but I certainly resent my father.” Comes your blunt reply.

Seonghwa nearly drops the jar in his one hand before clinging to it for dear life. His eyes widen significantly, gaze darting upwards to meet your own.

“The reason I hold myself like an ancient, Boy, is because I was raised by one.” You state, voice giving away a hint of bitterness as you speak these words.

“Your father is an ancient.” His jaw nearly drops, sitting stunned in his spot.

“He’s the one that made that goddamn prophecy, too.” You spit, pure ire shining on your face. “And if you so much as ask me about that fucking Jewel, I will tear your limbs off, and shove them down your throat.”

Seonghwa raises his one hand in understanding, knowing very well that you will hold true to your threat. Even if he so badly wants to ask. Still, he cannot help the questions racing through his head. Though, one sticks out more than all of the rest.

Do his brothers know?

“I would appreciate you not spreading this around,” you’re quick to continue. “Your brothers are not aware of this fact yet, and I would like the chance to tell them myself.”

Guess that answers that.

“Why would you tell me this, then?” His eyes narrow, shifting his gaze from the jar in his hand to you.

“You said that we are not enemies.” Comes your blunt reply, tilting your head upwards slightly and staring down your nose at him. “Prove it.”

“You confuse me.” He shakes his head before continuing to apply the salve to his injuries.

“The feeling is very much mutual at times,” you agree with a slight nod. “What confuses me even more is how you haven’t discovered your power, yet.”

The jar of ointment falls from his hand.

“Careful with that, it takes a week to brew,” you tut, raising a finger and causing the jar to begin levitating in the air before being gently placed on top of the counter.

“How the fuck do you know I haven’t discovered my power, yet?” His chest heaves, eyes sharp as he glares at you.

“I have already told you countless times tonight how similar we are,” you begin. “Why do you think I understand your personality so well? At least, most of it.”

“You’re wrong.” He huffs, arms crossing in front of his chest. “I don’t have a power. I never have, and I never will.”

“Is that so?” You tilt your head in inquiry at him, mirth dancing in your gaze. In a flash, you’ve reached beneath your counter, only to stab your dagger into the top of the wood. “Tell me, do you recognize this?”

His eyes glint maliciously, guard high and whole body tense.

“How could I ever forget the blade you almost killed me with.” He sneers, leaning as far back from you as the stool will allow.

“That’s the thing, Hala,” you meet his gaze. “It should have killed you. In two, maybe three minutes, tops. Do you know how long you lasted?”

Seonghwa remains quiet.

“Fifteen.” You answer for him. “You lasted fifteen minutes before I started treating you with the antidote.”

“So, what?” He huffs, clearly unamused. “I got lucky.”

“Diluted frost berry leaves make anyone vomit on contact with their tongue,” you continue. “You had to ingest two spoonfuls in order for it to take effect.”

“I think my body was focussing on expelling the poison at that point.” He counters.

“It had already been expelled.” You reply, somewhat bluntly. “The fact that you could even move as much as you did after everything was a miracle, but not when you think about it logically.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.” He states, fidgeting in his seat.

“You told me that you fell into a bush of wild rat thorns tonight.” You place your hands onto the top of the counter, palms facing down as you lean forward. “Do you know what type of plant that is?”

He takes a moment to think before shaking his head.

“Rat thorns are one of the most toxic plants on this side of the fjord. A simple scrape from them can render you unconscious. Multiple pricks and you will become paralyzed. They are commonly used in assassinations as when their thorns are ground into a fine powder, they do not emanate a smell, nor do they have any taste.” You explain, and you watch his face drain of any and all colour. “Any other regular dragon would have died on contact, if not shortly after. The closest location of rat thorn bushes to my home is ten minutes away at top speed. You should have dropped dead within a minute. Yet, you managed to make it all the way back to my place, still breathing.”

Seonghwa begins to shake his head, standing to his feet with enough force to knock the stool he had been sitting on to the ground.

“The reason, Seonghwa, that your wounds do not immediately close when you get them,” you mirror his stance, leaning forward even further once you’re on your own two feet, “is that your body is working to expel any toxins you might have incurred during injury. Only when it deems those toxins have left your system will your cuts truly begin to heal.”

He clutches his head, backing up against the wall as his whole body shakes.

“This can’t be happening,” he mutters, tugging at his roots harshly. “This isn’t happening.”

“The reason, Seonghwa, that you are so prideful and stubborn, directly correlates to your power. A power which you have always had since birth.” Your voice softens the slightest bit, gaze easing as you notice him spare a tentative glance upwards. “Negative thoughts can be just as toxic as any physical substance, seeping in and drowning you in doubt and darkness. You just need to find the antidote.”

Slowly, his trembling stops, but those tears he had been so desperately holding back begin to streak down his face.

“You are a dragon with the power of poison, Seonghwa,” you smile softly at him, a gentle reassurance that everything will turn out okay. “Do not let it intoxicate you.”

Slowly, the male begins to sink to your floor. His back is still against the wall, eyes intently staring at his shaking hands.

“All my life,” he breathes, a light sniffle escaping him. “All my life I believed myself to be powerless.”

“Which is why I’m assuming you hate the ancients for putting so much emphasis on personalized powers,” you voice, noticing how his head shifts to look up at you from his position on the floor.

A subtle nod is all you receiving in response.

“Also why I’m assuming you’re so obsessed with this heedless quest for the crown.” You add. “You wanted to prove yourself as a dragon without traditional powers that you could be just as strong and ruthless as those with them.”

Again, Seonghwa nods, wiping at his eyes soon after.

“You will not be able to change your entire personality overnight,” you state, and you watch as he shifts his gaze back to you. “Yet, you should be aware of these things to start improving upon them. I will tell you the same exact thing I told that hotheaded brother of yours. You need to find the balance, and not let your power consume you. You are more than just your power.”

You hold his gaze as he slowly pushes himself back to his feet, wiping at his tearstained cheeks all the while. Softly, he begins to nod once more, sniffling lightly as he calms himself down.

“Thank you.” He bows to you once more, and his actions catch you off guard, just as much now as they did the first time. “For everything tonight.”

You smile gently at him in response, and Seonghwa cannot help the way his breath hitches slightly in his throat when he rights himself to see that glorious expression on your features.

He swallows thickly. Have you always been this kind? This beautiful?

You grab the jar of salve off of the top of the table, capping it carefully.

“You best be getting home for some rest,” you cross the small distance to your backdoor, opening it and nodding slightly in his direction. “They’ve all been worried about you.”

“I doubt they’ll even want to see me again,” his shoulders slump slightly as he trudges to the open doorway. “I’ll be lucky if they even let me back in.”

“Simply tell Hongjoong that you’re all finally ready to be taught.” You see confusion pull at his features at your words, causing you to chuckle. “He’ll understand.”

Despite his brow furrowing slightly, you see him nod.

“Don’t forget this,” you say, tossing the jar with the remainder of the salve in it at him, to which he catches easily. “Also, tell Yeosang and Yunho that I’ll meet them the day after tomorrow near the front entrance to my village at dawn.”

“Okay,” the eldest Hala nods once in understanding. He goes to take a step towards the forest before he’s halting in his tracks. A blink, and he’s turned back around to face you. “How can I ever repay you?”

You smile, leaning against the frame of the door as you cross your arms loosely over your chest. “I think you should be able to surmise that on your own, after everything we’ve discussed tonight.”

Understanding flashes across his features, and he nods once firmly in your direction.

“Do not make me regret trusting you, too, Seonghwa.” You say, keeping your voice level as you meet his gaze. “You will truly not like what happens if you do.”

Again, Seonghwa nods his understanding, bowing once more to you before shifting and taking off into the night sky.

A small smile rests on your features as you retire into your house for the evening. Slowly, you begin to put everything away, taking your time to clean and store the remainder of the herbs you’ve left out for the moment. The oil lamps are slowly put out until one remains in your hand as you retreat into your bedroom for the evening.

Tonight went much better than you ever expected it could from the moment you sensed him drawing near. You have no idea what the future has in store for you, but with how things are beginning to look, you believe it can only get brighter from here.

Speaking with the eldest Hala has also made you realize a few things. Things you just might be ready and willing to begin sharing with others again.

One dragon in particular sticks out in your mind.

You firmly believe that Seonghwa will keep his word and not tell the others about the personal truths you revealed to him this night. You see your younger self in him too much to believe he would betray you like that. Especially after tonight.

The fact that you wake up to a basket of fresh produce sitting upon your back porch the next morning only confirms it. Not just any produce, either, but the same exact produce that he had made you drop that very first evening. Back when you had met him all those weeks ago.

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tree-obsession · 3 months

Text

Gold and Red Text in Penacony

So, for some reason, I have decided to torture myself by creating a theory that will likely have some plot relevance??? but not totally sure. it has popped up a bunch of times and seems to confuse a lot of people, so I'm just putting together what I know! feel free to tell me if I missed something, as I haven't done many of the side quests yet...

Anyway, spoiler warning for 2.0 trailblaze mission and possibly some of the side quests?? idk proceed with caution! I don't read many leaks so I doubt there's spoilers for that but tell me right away if there are any!

Alright, so the first time we see different-colored text in this mission is during Acheron's first meeting with the Trailblazer. According to this twitter thread (credits to user mobnermal, NOT me) Acheron's dialogue will change, depending on the gender of the tb and how we respond to her queries. She also says towards the end of the convo something along the lines of "It feels like multiple different versions of you were talking to me, saying a different thing each time".

So, I'm not entirely sure why she's lying, or even if she's doing it intetionally. It does seem like there's some aspect of "different possibilities within the Dreamscape" happening- almost like the Dreamscape itself is changing the tb's answers/Acheron's questions. But again, we'll get a bit into the dreamscape later.

2. Aventurine's final convo with the tb, and then Black Swan later.

My screenshots were failing me so hard in this quest lol.

Anyway, as far as I know, these two are the only ones in this mission who use gold text. It's mostly used to highlight the word "truth", and according to the wiki and playthroughs I have watched this dialogue doesn't change- only Acheron's red seems inconsistent. I find it interesting Black Swan put quotations around it, and I have no idea what this could imply. I assume she knows something we and Aventurine don't about Robin's death, which seems to be what they were referring to during this part.

As to how that "upends everything"... I don't know what the implications of her death are. It's implied by the npc who raised Robin (can't find any screenshots- I didn't take any, but it's dialogue from an npc in the Golden Hour) and Sunday and Robin's dialogue in the very beginning- the one where they were "shades"- that Robin's voice may have some special quality that could mind-control/ brainwash people to some extent. This is a bit of a tangent, but may point out why the gold test is so important- the new Harmony trace mats match Robin's design very well, and are part of the Order. The Order's- Ena's- symbol is an eyeball, which can be found in a lot of places on Penacony, but most importantly Sunday's clothes. Judging from what we know of Sunday's control-freak-esque personality (sorry dude ):) it's possible he or someone else in The Family is using Robin's potential powers to brainwash the people of different factions. If you choose the alternate ending, everything wraps up a bit too nicely, and nobody seems to want to leave Penacony after that. Tb never finds out about Robin's death in that ending, either. There's a lot of implications there that I don't want to get into for this post, but basically- The Family is orchestrating something, probs pinned the blame on the IPC in the bad ending (since otherwise why would hoyo tell us that?) and then brainwashed everyone to never leave. Why? No idea! But it does explain why Robin's "truth" (in quotations, because Black Swan's dialogue does imply Robin's not dead) is so important to the plot.

That was a bit of a tangent, lol. Going back to the first sc, I find it interesting Aventurine is the one to tell us this, and if we're going with the idea that gold=truth, that just tells us Acheron's most certainly an Emanator, no matter what the Dreamscape does. Why they choose to have Aventurine reveal this, especially with the first instance of golden text- that's still up in the air. However, something I want to throw in is that there was a theory floating around Twitter comparing his eyes to the eye behind Ena in their official art. They are identical- even the gold outline on Ena's eye matches his eyeliner. Since it's implied in his conversation with Sparkle his eyes are a defining feature of his race, Sigonian, and that their civilization has been taken over (I'm not clear on details) or fallen apart somehow- akin to how civilizations under Ena's rule fell apart after their death- there may be some relation. Also, Aventurine was sent to Penacony specifically, which Topaz questioned- this may be why Diamond sent him. It implies a lot of plot relevance for him later, certainly!

3. The really, really ominous text you can get from a side quest.

If you go to the Reverie(Dreamscape) VIP lounge teleport beacon and head to the wall, you find a broken Clockie surrounded by purple bubbles. If you haven't done this quest yet- do it now, I really can't explain all this! search up a guide- there's a couple good ones on youtube. you do get a sticker!

anyway, some screenshots of the tape's text (cw for slight gore, explosions, screams, overall very ominous and vague tour-guidey stuff):

sorry for the text overlap lol, this was very inconveniently sized for screenshots.

anyway, yeah! possibly the most unnerving thing in the game so far (aside from those lost text stickers...). but, as you can tell, I'm gonna focus on the gold and red text. fair warning, I don't really know what to make of this, but I think there's some connection...

first, gold. this is, if we go off what I previously thought, the "truth". My current theory is that this gold is true of within or outside dreamscape- in other words, the dreamscape cannot alter that thing in the gold text. It's there, regardless of how the dreamscape screws other things up. The "truth" in the dreamscape isn't necessarily reliable, since dreamscape seems to fuck with everything, but gold is apparently truth, so we're sticking to that. That means that bloodshed, mind-opening (?), and pressure-releasing (???) is... true? It's kind of interesting- the other things in gold we've seen are statements with meaning, and this... kinda isn't. However, it could imply this is actually what's happening in the Dreamscape. Some kind of deranged, creepy thing that the dreamscape/ the Family is doing while everyone else is on this cool-looking vacation. I have no idea why that line, of all the lines, is gold, but it's certainly not something someone trying to make Penacony look good would say! That's all I know.

Not much I know about why the red one, specifically, is red either. Are the instruments/music fake? That's certainly a recurring motif in Penacony, between bands in the Golden Hour and Robin being a songstress, plus Ena's "Beyond the Sky Choir", their exclusive faction, which fell apart upon their death. Something about Ena being swallowed by XIpe will certainly be brought up later, I'm almost totally sure. It's also interesting it gets cut off by static, without even finishing the statement(I think). I have no idea what to make of these- I just needed to point out the similarities between this tape and the dialogue.

Also, the tape itself is suspicious. According to Woolesley, there are multiple, appearing all over the Reverie (Dreamscape) and sometimes even messing with the Dreamscape.

First of all, why the hell is he telling us this very classified-sounding info? Also, he literally might pop up next to you- it's inevitable that you give him the tape at some point, really showing how The Family is cracking down on these.

Also, who's making these tapes? Why are they leaving them around the Dreamscape if they know it'll be taken? What's with these side effects/corrupting? And what's the relation between the tapes, Acheron, and Aventurine/Black Swan- are those things revealed in the tapes things only those three are aware of, or care to tell tb? It's really weird, especially since they're apparently in Clockie statues? Also, why tapes even- the tapes themselves seem corrupted(or censored?) weirdly, judging from the lines, and also just... why would anyone make these? Someone against the Family presumably wouldn't do rebellion in such a way, and someone within would have no reason to create this at all- is the Dreamscape itself making it? it's the only thing using both red and gold text...

there's probably some connection to Clockie, since that's who is most likely talking in the tape... and that's the statue we found it in too. Clockie is sus in a whole host of ways- don't even get me started, but I'm not sure how they relate to this theory just yet.

I have no idea. The tape is super creepy, but things probably will clear up a bit in 2.1!

tldr/clarification(sry for rambling so much): red text = lie/subjective/ easily changeable, to the dreamscape at least

gold text= "truth", dreamscape is unable to change it(?)

ena probs will have some lore relevance along with Robin, who seems to be the center of this "truth" for the moment

the bizarre tape is very mysterious and questionable, with nothing solid that we know about it- however, it uses both red and gold text, which automatically makes it suspicious even beyond what it's saying directly

what the hell is the family cooking up? i don't know, but it's probably not good! (for us, at least)

thank you for reading this lightly-proofread, very rambling theory/speculation- you are an angel for making it this long!

edit: so number one- I've added a reblog to this post- plz check it out, it has some other details from the Chadwick quest. and also, there's this Youtube video that mentions the red text in the beginning! It has a very similar idea to mine, but the thing it mentions is not an option I made (I accepted Acheron right away lol, so I didn't grab this detail). And the entire vid is pretty cool, so you should see it!

#penacony #hsr #honkai star rail #trailblazer #hsr theory #honkai star rail theory #bizarre tape #hsr 2.0 #acheron #aventurine #robin #black swan #the family hsr #ena #xipe #the reverie #dreamscape #clockie #clockie hsr

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vickyvicarious · 11 months

Note

seeing ppl go "lol jonathan why are you admitting you found them hot what will mina think of you when she reads it!!!" has me go "*shakes you* you are going against the thesis of the book!!!"

I know some of why is dependent on knowledge of future events, and so people new to Dracula Daily won't be aware of it. But to be honest, Jonathan admitting his attraction to the vampire ladies is so, so important to me. On several different character levels, even outside of the entire book proving over and over again that sharing knowledge is absolutely vital (and is also an expression of deep love/trust/support).

Let's just stick the quote in here for reference:

There was something about them that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same time some deadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they would kiss me with those red lips. It is not good to note this down, lest some day it should meet Mina's eyes and cause her pain; but it is the truth.

Firstly - he needs to keep an accurate record. This is his only place to speak freely, his only opportunity to be precise about what he is going through. It is vitally important for him to keep his sanity intact that he be clear and try to remain logical in this diary. We see him fact-checking again and again. We can extrapolate from other statements that he doesn't always mention everything he suspects unless he feels it relevant or possible to prove. For example, repeatedly noting Dracula himself doing things before ever getting around to voicing the theory that the Count has no servants (he collected evidence first, didn't speak his suspicions until they were proven). Or putting the crucifix above his bed and taking the opportunity to sleep elsewhere, thus pointing to feeling unsafe and possibly experiencing bad dreams in his own room (he mentioned what he does about it, but not the feeling on its own or whatever nightmares he may be having). Jonathan works very hard to keep his diary focused on a few things above all: what the Count/ladies are, what everyone does, what Jonathan observes or learns, his actionable plans. He of course expresses his fears and emotions at times in his diary, more than he can out loud, but never going all the way down the rabbithole of fear, hopelessness, etc. He tries to calm himself by sticking to facts (all the harder when something strange is happening), which is in itself a soothing process for him so that's helpful too. His goal is to make this diary useful to himself and to others, if he ever gets the chance to share it. There is a goal here.

And what that means, is that the things Jonathan writes in great detail are things that feel relevant to him. The entire encounter with the vampire ladies was extremely important. It revealed a ton of new information to him, as well as being a truly horrifying and traumatic thing to go through. Jonathan's feelings are as relevant as his observations/actions here, because both are directly affected by the presence of the vampire women. Jonathan can't move. He feels dreamy. He feels attracted to them. He cannot resist and in the moment a large part of him didn't even want to. These are all effects they are causing, at least to some extent. I know mileage can vary a lot on how much of Jonathan's attraction is just coming from him, but honestly, I can't agree with any version that doesn't have a natural attraction at the very least being exacerbated by supernatural vampire abilities somehow. If not caused or called forth by them in the first place. The way he narrates, with so much obvious fear and revulsion mixed in with the desire, makes that clear to me. He sounds like he doesn't fully understand his own feelings at the time, at least where they all came from or why they were so strong. It goes along with all the other symptoms he is experiencing, and the other abilities they demonstrate. And so, to keep his record accurate - it has to go in. He cannot leave it out. It might become very relevant later.

Secondly - Jonathan is honest with Mina, specifically. I love this about their relationship. I don't think it's so much 'I noticed they were attractive' that he fears might hurt her, because Mina isn't particularly shy herself about noticing both women and men as good-looking, and even admiring their looks while on a date with Jonathan (poor Pretty Girl in Piccadilly). He also called local women pretty in his first entry as well (though he did say "except when you got near them" so it felt a bit backhanded to me), so again it's not the noticing that's an issue either way. It's more that he felt actual desire to act on an attraction, or rather for them to act. This is unusual, this is a separate matter from noticing people are hot, this is something that comes much closer to cheating or at least wanting to, and he feels very guilty about it. There's no real sense that he is worried Mina will be angry at him, and there's no sense that he will ever outside of that one moment ever want to act on any attraction he feels for someone other than Mina (or someone Mina also approves of, varying depending on your polycula headcanons). I personally do kind of tend to view Jonathan as some form of demisexual so how much he even tends to feel attraction to other people is often a little wibbly to me, but that's kind of irrelevant for the point of this. We can also set aside the shared language of "kiss" between Jonathan and the vampire ladies, and how this may point to a desire to become available for being drunk from, rather than necessarily sexual desire specifically, even if that's the type of language used. With regards to Mina: he's not worried about being caught, because he is choosing not to hide. He feels bad talking about the attraction because it might hurt her feelings, but he'll admit to it regardless because it's more important to him to be honest with her. Jonathan hates hiding things from Mina. This actually becomes plot-relevant later on. Even when she herself expressly forbids him from telling her stuff, he feels anguished about it and is certain to ensure that records are kept which she can read later. He trusts her completely. Embarrassment, shame, bad behavior, or whatever else - he will still share that with her. The only times he doesn't confide in Mina are when he's trying to repress everything because he thinks he was crazy (and possibly may even have some PTSD-related memory loss as well), or when he and the other men are trying to make sure she isn't exposed to danger (which is wrong in several ways but this post isn't about that so I won't get into it), and of course when she tells him not to. Every single time he feels upset about it. So yeah, he's going to regret that she may feel hurt, but deliberately hiding things from her would be worse.

Thirdly - Jonathan admitting his attraction here is a huge comfort to Mina later on. I truly believe this. I've talked about it before actually, but let me try to rephrase a bit to keep it on the same post. By being open about his own attraction and experience with nearly being drunk from, he provides precedent for Mina's October 3rd trauma. It makes it easier (though obviously still not easy) for her to admit to the same kind of desire:

"I was bewildered, and, strangely enough, I did not want to hinder him. I suppose it is a part of the horrible curse that such is, when his touch is on his victim."

Mina never blamed Jonathan for expressing such thoughts. She wasn't concerned about the issue being another woman when she came to him in the hospital, and when she read his diary she never mentioned any hesitations or misgivings about this scene at all. But even if she had secretly felt upset before (I personally don't see her thinking that way at all, but for the sake of argument), I think that experiencing something similar would make her grateful for Jonathan's candor. In a moment when she's already feeling deeply unclean and complicit, Jonathan's earlier honesty here relieves her from a little bit of the guilt she is feeling. It lets her recognize her own lack of desire to stop Dracula as something he did to her, just like Jonathan experienced with the vampire ladies when he couldn't/didn't want to move away. It's possible even that Mina felt more explicit desire for Dracula's 'red lips to kiss her' but didn't feel comfortable saying quite that much - even if so, again Jonathan's account would be a comfort.

And having that account written down long ago means she has already internalized this. If Jonathan had kept it hidden only to try and ease her mind later, well... first off, Mina too might have kept her reaction hidden out of guilt. And even if she didn't or he told her then, a confession at that time wouldn't mean nearly as much or carry the same kind of weight, I don't think. It would feel like he's making excuses for her, like he didn't trust her enough to tell her earlier, just... bad stuff mixed in, which are all avoided by having Jonathan be truthful from the start.

#dracula daily spoilers #dracula daily #jonathan harker #mina murray #jonmina #anonymous #replies #my meta #sorry anon i feel like you were wanting to talk more about the 'sharing is caring' thesis so to speak #but this is where my thoughts went for now #obviously also though the book demonstrates again and again that concealing the truth (whether well-meant or not) is NOT HELPFUL #that trust is demonstrated via laying oneself emotionally bare and GIVING INFORMATION even when it isn't in your favor #that dracula specifically thrives on confusion and hidden fear and a lack of communication and that the key to his defeat #is to work together. to show love through being open about everything that is happening to you no matter how shameful or scary #to support one another. and to admit when you need support.#sorry i probably shoulda added a readmore. didn't think about it till later

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saintrocklee · 26 days

Text

*:･ﾟ✧ RESTRAINT ╰┈➤ part 02 of 05

masterlist | pairing: itachi x reader publish date: 04.04.24 warnings: itachi continues to be annoying. reader goes through the 5 stages of realizing you love your boss. there's alcohol and glitter.

The rest of the work week flew by and before you know it you're staring at yourself in your full length mirror, nerves buzzing just below your skin. You're one misstep away from a nervous breakdown and clack the front of your freshly done nails together, the clicking sound distracting you from your spinning thoughts.

It was currently seven o’clock and you had an hour to finish getting ready before a driver would come get you. Between now and when Itachi had invited (but also sort of demanded) you accompany him you had found a dress, matching shoes, borrowed a small purse from your friend, and even got your nails and toes done.

Now you're left with your hair and jewelry.

Events like these always took way longer to get ready for.

If you're being entirely truthful, you liked getting dressed up. Like really dressed up. You rarely had an excuse to go all out like this and it always made you feel pretty. Girly. Confident, even.

But the anxiety buzzing through your system were killing your vibe.

You hadn't even been that nervous until your backstabbing best friend cheekily said “Wow, an entire night on Itachi’s arm - as his date. That’s different.” when you stopped by yesterday to borrow her purse. It clicked, right then and there, that this was different. You'd gone through the steps of convincing yourself this was just another work event, only to have the proverbial rug ripped out from under you.

You were going to a gala, one of the most socially relevant parties of the year, with your boss. You were going to this extremely extravagant and public event not as his assistant or colleague ... but with him.

This wasn’t work. This wasn’t a meeting or a conference. This was a social event. Where socializing took place. Where people - important, powerful, famous people - would see you. With Itachi.

As his date.

Your chest begins to burn and you idly wonder if having a heart attack would be a good enough reason to cancel.

Knowing Itachi it wouldn't be.

Okay, focus. Hair and jewelry. Retouch makeup if needed. Another swipe of deodorant and a spritz of perfume. Then, if there's time, unrestrained panic.

It takes you a good thirty minutes to decide to wear your hair up and style it, to prevent you from fiddling with it all night. You idly picked through an assortment of hair pins, wanting something to make your look really pop. Your dress was simple but elegant and if you were going to show up with the Itachi Uchiha you needed to look the part. The plunging neckline surprisingly offered you support while showing off your cleavage behind sheer fabric. Your back was completely bare, the straps on your shoulders thin, and the slit ran high; but was covered by more sheer fabric. It was light, easy to move in, and one of your favorites. You choose a sparkling hairpin and add it to your up-do, twisting your head back and forth to get the full effect.

You just needed jewelry.

The low vibration from your phone distracts you and you smile when you see who's calling. You answer the Facetime request and your smile broadens when your best friend immediately begins squealing.

“Oh my god, shut up! You look so good.”

You snort and wave her off as you position your phone on your dresser to free up your hands. She continues talking and you think you hear glass clinking in the background.

“When’s boss man picking you up? Is he even going to be able to function around you? Like, I'm engaged and honestly, I'll leave him for you right here and now. Just say the word.”

The laugh that escapes you is warm and the anxiety you were feeling earlier begins to fade.

“Tell your fiance if he makes one wrong move I’ll say the word and steal you back. And he’s not picking me up, he’s sending a driver. I've got, like, thirty minutes."

Your friend makes a noise and you can see the wine glass in her hand as she moves to sit on her couch.

“Well, I just wanted to call before you left so I could see the final product. I love your hair, is that the hairpin I got you?”

You nod and spin, showing off the back of your head, giggling when you hear her audibly whistle.

“Babe, you look even better from the back! If Itachi doesn’t make a move, go find some other rich CEO to marry so you can pay for my wedding.”

You give your friend an unimpressed look and decide not to respond, instead holding up two different pairs of earrings.

“Shut up and help me. Which ones?”

After five minutes of going back and forth you find yourself wearing two different pairs of earrings; your friend sighing and nibbling her lips as her eyes flicked back and forth.

“Damn, they’re both so good. Let’s find a necklace and then come back.”

Soon, you’ve picked a necklace, a simple bracelet, and even added some more glitter to your eyes to make them shine. Still, neither of you could decide on which earrings. You move on to your deodorant and double check you have everything in your purse while she updated you on a frustrating new hire at her company. It felt like old times, back before you worked for Itachi and before she had met her now fiance, when it was just the two of you struggling against the world.

“Okay, okay, let’s focus up. You do a shot yet?”

You scrunch your face up at the old memory and snort. Back when you and your best friend lived together you would always take one shot of whatever alcohol you had on hand before going to any kind of social event that made you both nervous. A house party, birthday, forced family outing; it didn't matter. It was a way to take the edge off, without “being trashy” as she so eloquently put it. The tradition was rooted deep, even with you both living apart, and you can't help but smile.

“No. I don’t drink when I’m working.”

The gasp that meets your ears is loud, pained, and dramatic. You're surprised your cell speaker still functions once she's done wailing.

“Uh-uh! This isn’t work, this is a date. At a fancy gala. With fancy people. And your hot as shit boss.”

You try and prove your indifference with a shrug but even through the phone she wasn't having it.

“We’ve still got fifteen minutes, take me to your kitchen woman! I’ll do one with you, in solidarity.”

You reward her with a laugh and pick your phone up, obeying her very demanding request. You place her on your countertop near your stove and shake your head when you see her doing the same, frantically searching her own kitchen for alcohol.

“Okay okay, let’s see. I've got some questionable tequila and some very fancy vodka, which is more the mood we're going for. What about you?”

You hum and peek in your fridge, mildly surprised you still have some raspberry flavored vodka left over from weeks ago.

“I’ve got vodka too, but I wouldn't call it fancy.”

There’s loud cheering coming from your phone’s speaker and you roll your eyes, grabbing a shot glass from the top of your fridge. You fill it easily and hold it up to your camera, smiling when you see your friend do the same.

“Alright! Cheers to you, your hot ass, and Itachi removing that stick from his hot ass. On three!"

You count down and throw back the sweet smelling alcohol, immediately crinkling your nose at the burn in your throat. You hear audible gagging and chuckle as you watch your friend frantically search her kitchen for a chaser.

“Jesus Christ, this shit sucks. I hate my fiance, let’s kick him out and you can move in again. Then we can get rid of all this nasty shit in my fridge.”

Your laugh turns into a fond smile and you open your mouth to retort when there’s a knock at your door. Frowning slightly at the intrusion, you turn and eye the clock on your wall.

Seven fifty. You had ten more minutes to prepare for Itachi’s driver and someone was knocking at your door.

Great.

“Gotta go lover, some jackass is banging on my door. I’ll text you later!”

“What!? Let me see! Push me against the peep hole so I can tell them to fuck off!”

You snort and shake your head, waving goodbye before disconnecting the video. If your friend had it her way, you’d keep her on the line all night, hiding her in your purse and whipping her out to gossip about everyone around you.

You move toward your door, dropping your phone on your couch, and go to unlock it without checking your peephole. It was more than likely your neighbor, who sometimes got confused in his old age about what apartment he was at. You open the door with fervor and blink stupidly at who you see standing in the hallway.

Okay.

Definitely not your neighbor.

Itachi finds himself in your hallway, attention directed towards adjusting his cuff links, and glances up at the sound of your door opening. Years of practice and etiquette training have him schooling his features to not betray the absolute turmoil he feels from seeing you.

You were an absolute vision.

You had outdone yourself and Itachi forces himself to memorize this moment in it's entirety. Your eyes shone beneath simple makeup and glitter, your hair twisted and styled beautifully in an up-do that left your neck bare. The wide eyed surprise on your face only adds to your allure and Itachi finds himself struggling to control the way his pulse quickens. The dress you're wearing is either new or had been hiding in your closet somewhere and he fights to keep his eyes on your face. From what he can see, the sheer fabric that hugs your body leaves little to the imagination, and something warm begins to burn through him.

Curling his mouth into a friendly smile, Itachi goes to speak to break the charged silence between you two, but you cut him off breathlessly - eyes narrowing.

“You’re early.”

Itachi almost laughs as the heat in his chest begins to spread. Maybe he'd tell his driver to leave, skip the troublesome gala, and see if he could convince you to stay in. Maybe -

“Are you ready?” Itachi forces himself to ask, smile widening to show teeth when you roll your eyes and step to the side, inviting him in wordlessly. He needed to see the night through. He wouldn't be so easily distracted by your glitter and barbed tongue.

“No, because you’re early. Are you incapable of telling time without me?”

The butterflies assaulting your chest mixed with the alcohol warming your skin have you coming closer and closer to the unrestrained panic you were feeling earlier. He’d said be ready by eight and you had assumed he would send a driver, like always.

Obviously you were wrong.

Itachi hums, pointedly ignoring your jab, and steps into your apartment. You eye him warily as his head turns slowly, no doubt inspecting your place. He’d never been inside of your home before and finds himself taking in all of the little details. Soft touches of you were everywhere and while he could classify your apartment as busy, it was also comforting. Lived in. A home filled with framed pictures, small plants, and what seemed to be an inappropriate amount of blankets. There were at least two on the couch, two on the armchair, and a pile folded up and tossed onto the ottoman. He reaches for the worn red one on the couch and pulls it between his fingers, eyes sparkling in amusement.

“Do you get cold often?” He questions and you snort, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Shut up. You don’t get to insult my blankets after barging into my apartment.”

Itachi glances at you before dropping the fabric in his hand.

“I don’t believe I’ve ever ‘barged in’ anywhere.”

This pulls a trademark eye roll out of you and Itachi finds himself smiling fondly before his brow furrows. You notice immediately and frown, cocking your head slightly.

“What?” you ask, inhaling sharply when your boss takes a measured step towards you. His movement leaves barely any space between you and you follow his eyes, confused at the way they seemed to trail from the left to the right.

What was he looking at -

Oh. Your earrings.

“Shit” you murmur, both hands coming up to fiddle with the mismatched jewelry dangling from your ears. You had completely forgotten that you hadn’t chosen a set yet and can’t help but grin up at Itachi, shrugging sheepishly.

“Couldn’t decide on a pair, just give me a minute to -”

You go to step around him, planning on just picking randomly and grabbing your shoes from your bedroom, when he shifts his stance to block you. You halt your movement, glancing up at him again, only for everything to shut down when a warm hand reaches to brush against your ear.

Here’s the thing, about Itachi and physical touch.

He didn’t do it. In fact, you’d seen him actively avoid it.

It's not like you two hadn't touched before - consequences from working so closely together. A brush of fingers when handing off files to each other between meetings, a polite hand on the other one’s forearm to grab their attention, a tap on the shoulder to signal it was time to move on. You've even fallen asleep on him a couple times at the airport, which was always coupled with an apology and an indifferent shrug. Regardless, physical touch between you two was always quick, always professional, and never meant to be anything more than innocent.

The hand currently brushing against your face was anything but.

Your body, traitorous thing, was completely frozen and you can’t do anything but blink rapidly at the sudden contact. His fingers toy with your dangly earring and brush where your jaw meets your neck, eyes focused as he considers you. He mirrors his movements on the other side of your head, essentially cradling your face while he mulls over which earrings he likes. At least, that's what you assume he's doing. It's not like you can ask, you're entire being was rendered immobile and useless under his touch and distantly you wonder if you're still breathing. Maybe you stopped. Maybe you'll pass out and wake up and he'll be gone and you can ... oh. The thumb that slowly starts to stroke your jaw fractures your train of thought and you swallow when Itachi finally steps back and drops his hands, eyes glinting mischievously.

“The one on the right suits you better.”

It takes you a moment to remember what he was talking about. You bring a hand that you were trying very hard to keep from shaking up to your right ear and fiddle with the jewelry attached to it.

“Thanks.” you reply, voice barely above a whisper, and move past him to finish getting ready in your bedroom. It only takes you a minute to put on matching earring and grab your shoes and purse - but you take an extra minute to collect yourself.

The heat pooling in your abdomen was working with the butterflies assaulting your tummy and you take a final breath, urging yourself to get it together. It didn't mean anything, he was just messing with you like always, it didn't mean anything. You step out and grab your phone from the couch before dropping it in your purse and heading to the door.

“Let's go Uchiha, now I'm waiting on you.”

There's a low chuckle from behind you and soon you're both entering your building's elevator after exiting your apartment. You're trying desperately to get your heart rate back to normal and spare a glance towards your boss as the doors ding shut.

You had to admit he looked good. Itachi was dressed in all black, his suit jacket extremely form fitting, and you spy what’s come to be your favorite dress shirt underneath it. You noticed that he wasn’t wearing a tie and can’t help but smile.

“Going for a more casual look tonight?” You snark, meeting his gaze with an arched brow. Itachi looked the exact opposite of casual with his hair neatly styled and silver cuff links sparking. Your boss would be breaking necks well into the evening, but still. The absence of a tie strikes you as kind of funny and you're grasping for some sort of normalcy.

Making fun of him was your version of normal. It was a comfortable default and you planned to use it all night if needed.

Itachi narrows his eyes at you and snorts, looking back to watch the numbers on the elevator go down.

"Someone once told me I needed to learn how to tone it down.”

This brings a genuine laugh out of you as memories from a previous conversation spring forward. You had both been attending an art gallery, looking to purchase some pieces for the lobby that had been recently redone. He’d shown up in a similar outfit to the one he was wearing now, which made him a bit overdressed and a complete contrast to your very casual professional attire. Attendees had paid more attention to your boss than the art that night and after two glasses of wine you pulled him to the side, grinning from ear to ear.

“Tone it down Fabio, before they start bidding on you instead.”

His unfiltered reaction had been priceless, head turning toward you so quickly you were surprised his neck didn’t break. Once he saw your evil little smile he’d glared at you and actually rolled his eyes, before directing your attention to a painting he wanted for his office.

"Whoever suggested that is probably a genius and grossly underpaid." You sniff, pretending to pick at a stray thread on your purse. It wasn't a secret that your boss was unjustly pretty and on days when you were feeling particularly sour about it you made sure to tease him. There's a catch of breath from next to you that could be described as a laugh as the elevator doors opened and you begin to move forward, only to come to a complete stop when Itachi speaks.

"She's certainly troublesome, but I'm quite fond of her."

You whip your head to the right, mouth parting in surprise at the bold choice of words, but Itachi is already exiting the elevator, holding the door open with his arm. You spy his driver on the other side of the clear glass doors in your apartment lobby and lift your chin up, determined to not let him see how easily he continued to fluster you. It was all a game, one you've played with him many times, and while you feel the flames of defeat licking at your heels you wouldn't go down easily.

You walk past him, focusing on keeping your breaths even, when he leans in, the silk in his voice barely above a whisper.

“She's also particularly stunning this evening.”

You turn to face him, brow furrowed in confusion, all while failing to ignore the way your heart practically jumped out of your throat.

“Stop that.” You breathe and Itachi arches a brow, withdrawing his arm so the elevator doors can close.

“Stop what?” he asks, so innocently confused, and you bristle, anxiety mixing with something else that was starting to kindle. You had only done one shot, you weren't a lightweight by any means, but that bit of alcohol combined with whatever game Itachi was playing was throwing you through a loop. The pouty, irritable part of you wanted to scratch his eyes out while demanding answers but you'd either needed more alcohol or less witnesses to move forward with that half-cocked plan. So instead -

“You're annoying." You deadpan, turning to keep walking to the car. An amused hum follows you and you can picture the smug look on your boss' face as you both make your way outside. There was a chill in the air that helped alleviate the agitated heat you were battling and by the time you're seated comfortably in the backseat you're feeling a bit more normal.

Itachi slides into the seat next to you and immediately reaches for a pile of folders on the seat next to him. You make a noise of disapproval before remembering that you're still annoyed with him.

“Seriously? Were you working on your way over here? It’s Saturday. We’re literally going to a party.”

You're pointedly ignored, but the driver who's name you cannot remember snorts lightly from the front and your smile shows teeth.

“See? Even he thinks you’re insane.”

Itachi pauses his perusal to glance between you and the console mirror, eyes narrowing marginally.

"I don't pay you two to team up against me."

A sharp, sarcastic noise escapes you and you lean forward, going so far as to place your hand on the driver's seat.

"Does it state anywhere in your contract that we can't conspire together?"

"No ma'am." The man responds, his tone clipped and professional, but the playful glint in his eye made your nose scrunch up in amusement.

"No." You cheerfully agree, settling back into your seat and going so far as the flick the corner of the folder still in Itachi's hands. Your boss lets out a long suffering sigh that you're sure he'd been holding in for days, before relenting and closing the document.

"This is the business proposal for Kakuzu's new-"

"Oh, really? Wow that's incredible, I don't remember asking-"

"If we can come to an agreement this would mean-"

"Wow, again with more information that no one asked-"

"You are quite possibly the most-"

"Incredible, talented, intelligent-"

"I could fire you-"

"Oh I dare you-"

You find yourself laughing as you and Itachi fall into a comfortable back and forth, nerves quickly dissipating as the car pulls off. So long as the rest of the night went like this, you would be fine.

You hoped.

#itachi x reader #itachi x you #itachi uchiha x reader #itachi uchiha x you #itachi fanfic #itachi fanfiction #i love him your honor

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woodlaflababab · 2 months

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It never fails to make me sad to see people call Aang's arc stagnant or claim he didn't change. His arc is unconventional. It's not a well established trope so there's not obvious cues we can draw on that we've seen dozens of times before. (Not that there's anything wrong with well worn tropes. The classics are classics for a reason.) But the unwillingness to examine his story outside of trying to spot familiar patterns just saddens me.

Maybe it's because I relate to his arc so much, and it's a lesson that I see so many people struggle with yet a lesson I rarely see truely represented.

Aang's arc is about balance. It's not like Zuko's, it's not about having a set of ideals and having to challenge and ultimately discard them for new 'better' ideals. Aang already has some pretty solid ideals, but the problem is, he sits in extremes. Throughout the entire series he is tettertottering between extremes of many different kinds, with these changes becomes less drastic as he goes on and builds his balance.

One of the things he has to balance, that I wish people saw because it is so so important, is the balance between protecting yourself vs protecting others. In the water you hold a child above your head, but in a falling airplane you provide yourself an oxygen mask first.

It's self-care vs matching expectations.

Which is such an insanely relevent contemporary subject and only becomes more so as we go on. Too often you see the hero must learn to be willing to sacrifice everything, whether for the world or for a person, but that's not healthy and is an ideal that can go wrong very quickly.

I just wish people saw this. I wish people saw Aang's climax of his arc as validation that they are allowed to be themselves, that they don't have to be what everyone expects of them, that bring true to yourself and being what people need are not mutually exclusive. I want people to see Aang and understand the value of being an individual made up of your background and personality and not a being formed to fit what's most efficient for society.

I want people to see Aang and know that it's possible to have this balance, that wanting to do things differently does not mean failing. I want people to see Aang and know that they don't have to lose childhood in order to grow and improve.

Some characters start out with incorrect answers, and they learn the correct ones, and we recognize this, but it's just as important to learn that sometimes you do have the right answer, it's just that there's more than one right answer and you can't cling to a single one as the pure singular truth.

Idk. I want people happy. I want Aang happy.

#aang #atla #aang meta #atla meta #woodlaflababab #just me being sad abt things #when you analyze media #try to find whats there #dont look for whats not #aang talks #atla talks

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harocat · 11 months

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Heartbreaking thoughts about Tantai Jin hour. I'm just thinking about how the whole first timeline of the series, Tantai Jin had no idea that Li Susu and Ye Xiwu were two different people.

Literally, from his perspective, Ye Xiwu just started being nice to him out of the blue after months of physical and emotional abuse; whipping him every night, leaving him out in the cold essentially to die, and letting him almost starve.

Yet, after Li Susu transmigrated into her body, he still wholly and unabashedly fell in love with 'Ye Xiwu', opening his heart wide open to her and offering his entire self up to her. He loved her almost unconditionally; even when he thought LSS poisoned him, he forgave her the moment she came back. Even after LSS really did do the soul shattering nails, though he tried to hate her, it wasn't possible.

And I can't think of many other things that speak to the depth of his loneliness and need for affection than that, because it seems like he just went 'well she's different now' and didn't even bring it up. Like this man was abused to the point of near torture for MONTHS, by the real Ye Xiwu, but it was just 'in the past' for him. Maybe a part of him was going 'I've changed, so maybe YXW has as well', but the thing is that even when Li Sisu questioned his morality at points, he never retorted with 'remember what you used to do to me?' He wouldn't use the behavior of the real Ye Xiwu against her even when it was relevant. This poor man is so fucked up.

Because this wasn't like, an abusive relationship where the real Ye Xiwu was kind to him sometimes and interspersed it with cruelty, then Li Susu came along and turned to just kindness. It was a total personality switch. He never brought it up. He was that scared of not being loved. The level of pain, the level of desperation he must have been in to just go 'well it doesn't matter because she's nice to me now', and to go as far as to even see LSS as a light, a person he aspires to emulate and the moral center of his world, despite the real YXW's behavior, is immeasurable. It kills me.

One of the reasons I love immortal era of them the most is because he knows all of this now. He knows the woman he loved was NEVER Ye Xiwu, and I think it's really important for forming a genuinely healthy relationship between the two. I can imagine a weight he didn't even know was there just lifting off his chest the moment he realizes it's Li Susu he's loved all along, and how freeing that must have been (we sort of see this in the scene where he realizes it's not him she hated, but the devil god). As cute as they are in the Jing Kingdom arc, and yes they are so cute, the baggage is immense. They can only begin to drop that when all the truths come out between them.

#till the end of the moon #i know some people like jing kingdom aus but i'd want that only if the truth came out #abuse cw

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tamelee · 2 months

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Hello! I've seen you around before but never really visiting your page and now i have! (✨I don't regret it✨)

I have an ask but I don't know if you're comfortable about it so answering it is a choice, not an obligation

Ask:

Why do you ship sns?

(i also ship it but i like to ask people what they think about it)

✨I’m very glad you have✨- hi~!

Yes of course. I talked about some of it here

There are quite a few of ships that I like, but I rarely talk about those. I know they’re just that— a ship. But even if there’s more to it… maybe? None of them come even close to the amount of wealth of supporting evidence that SNS holds to prove that yes, Kishimoto sat in front of a desk for 15+ years hunched over an entire love story, deliberately meaning for it to be romantic, but not ever really able to spell it out directly because… Shonen demographics. Probably. Mostly. And company decisions; alas the sequel. (That’s why I don’t really ship SNS, it feels off to me, I rather am a fan? Not important at all, just a distinction I’d like to make anyway.)

And at first it was mostly because other people claim their bond really is romantic through their observations. I wanted to find out for myself and coming to that conclusion took me a lot of digging. The more I did that, the more I started to like SNS, Kishimoto as a storyteller and ‘Naruto’ as a story overall because it stands out in ways other stories don’t.

But.. if you want specifics of my reasons story-wise.. (I will not apologize for the upcoming rant 🧡 you did ask me about SNS after all.. ’s what happens)— feel free to read further:

Major Reason 1— the Manga

Because how do you really start to see layers within a story that aren’t spelled out? I’ve seen some SNS-fans questioning their own beliefs and intuitions, but that’s not a bad thing, nor is it surprising. Kishimoto is a sneaky bastard and we love him for it, but I wouldn’t really agree with people saying how “easy” it is to see true meaning, because “it’s all so obvious” when ‘meaning’ isn’t really always. And it discredits the necessary skill and literary devices Kishimoto used to tell this story from his position as Shonen Mangaka imo. Severely.

Majority of me becoming a fan only started after reading the Manga. Here is where all the extra noise and influence in the Anime from the many (and often different) episode directors and other decision-makers, is removed completely. (I’m not saying that’s all done with ill intent, just, intent best suited for Anime goals that I don’t necessarily agree with in ‘Naruto’s case. I don’t really care otherwise.)

Manga vs. Anime: In Manga is where all the Mangaka’s true subtext is and where their messages through the Theme are a lot more clear than when you view it through episodes. Each episode has separate goals not necessarily tied to the overall Story (like in Manga), but to structure it in a way that optimizes entertainment within the timeframe of an episode. It’s true art of deliberately selecting and stretching of source material. People sometimes don’t believe me when I say that, because if you ignore fillers and the Anime covers the same things as the Manga, surely it won’t make a difference? But it really does. You can use all the extra elements in Animation to strengthen a message (like voice, action, music, pacing and camera-direction), but the opposite is true also. Even as “simple” as coloring can subtly influence subtext. You can use all the elements in whichever way to tell the story— together very powerful, but not all nearly as aligned with the Mangaka’s “truth”. To test this out of curiosity, I have put the Manga and several episodes side by side and when you study a scene from the Manga (a case study), the underlying messages are sometimes completely removed in the Anime. Or other perceptions are strengthened by showing moments a character thinks back on to show what they mean with their words even if it’s irrelevant at the time. It doesn’t mean it’s not relevant at all, it’s just not the same thing as in the Manga. (I don’t recommend testing it the way I have because it takes an ungodly amount of time ><) And it’s only natural for the Anime to do that because… it’s literally their job to fill in episodes in a way they think is best and fits their goals with their audience in mind. Anime and Manga audiences aren’t the same even if someone belongs to both. This is true at least in theory and from my understanding talking to animators when I traveled, they aren’t treated the same if you compare strategies. That’s also why saying Kishimoto helped with certain movies or his approval of whatever doesn’t say too much (or at all) regarding his personal vision regarding the source, because the execution of the final product has too many elements that have nothing to do with his role or skills in the project, whereas that’s completely different with the Manga. It’s fairly obvious in ‘Gaiden’ and Minato’s story as well. Yet his name is always used to prove otherwise because it’s a marketing tactic and it (unfortunately) works.

Major Reason 2— Subverting Expectations

It’s true that a lot about SNS and their bond is just blatant text and spelled out directly making them both sound incredibly insane and incredibly in love. Meaning, that even if you would watch the Anime or read the Manga on a surface level— you’d realize there’s something more going on regardless. If you question whether your intuition is true on this, watch any reaction to certain moments— you’re not alone. It isn’t for nothing that majority of the general audience mockingly calls Sasuke ‘Sasgay’ since the beginning or are only able to filter an opinion about his motivations through what the surface-narrative says it is: bad. (We can talk about that more in a different post.)

Or people hate Naruto for prioritizing something other than his protagonist’ self “should” prioritize; what is narratively seen as “good”. (Konoha for example. Often why people put Konoha vs. Sasuke when there’s a lot more to it and categorizing it as such only enhances that surface view of good vs bad— it works against the argument these people try to make because that automatically puts Sasuke in the bad-category for most people.. ’s kinda funny, but not really.)

Or how there are complaints because neither Naruto or Sasuke have shown even the slightest interest towards their ‘supposed’ (read: Shonen-‘expected’) love-interests because there isn’t any. Arguing that they should love another character simply because the girlies are stalking and fawning over them holds no ground at all, yet people take it as truth because they don’t know where else to look. To accept or even acknowledge the unexpected means you gotta swim a little deeper to explore the rest of the iceberg. (Yes, ‘Naruto’ really is that special.) If you don’t then it’s pretty easy to blame everything on bad writing, but I don’t think that’s fair at all simply because some people are unwilling/unable to actually see what’s truly written in the first place and can’t connect things otherwise because “no that’d be gay” and “it’s not possible, it’s Shonen so the Hero should fall in love with the most obvious girl-option” despite there being no mutual foundation to support a decision like that. Nor is there any significance that contributes to anything else. (Or in ‘Naruto’s case, Kishimoto mocks the idea of them liking these girls back, which should tell you a lot as well.)

Major Reason 3— Subtext, Plot-Goals & Theme

So alright, there’s text. There’s them giving up their goals for each other, willing to trade their lives for the other’s wellbeing or dreams, wanting to understand and reach hearts being each other’s one and only’s in different ways as well as driving strength, motivation and the cause of inner conflicts… but all of its meaning is found in context. (Yes, that thing that people love to ignore to make up their own.) The foundation of SNS’s bond and what it means to them (and even other characters) is primarily subtext weaved through their character arcs. Their change as a character has all to do with each other and very little with the actual plot, hence their final battle being an emotional one and more climactic (in theory of storytelling) than the actual war.

And yeah, possibly the reason why no one could really connect with the war was because it actually had little meaning beyond the surface.

Naruto was already celebrated as future Hokage and got the acknowledgement he believed would make him happy. But it didn’t, not for long.

Sasuke killed both his brother (sorta) and Danzo. He had the perfect opportunity to demolish Konoha because he believed that would be the solution, but he didn’t. Because he realized he had to question the former Hokage and learn more to tackle the problem behind his suffering (the system) on a larger scale. (Revolution.)

These things by itself should tell you there is more to it, because had it been any other story, it would’ve been over. It’s the entire revelation that halts a story completely, but it went on didn’t it? The war only strengthened Sasuke’s resolve for his plan for revolution (we can talk about that in another post) and Naruto’s status as Hero is conflicting and can’t actually ever soothe his anger (in fact, you can see during the war that it became worse) which is why Kishimoto sorta lamely (I’m sorry) brushed the problems off during the Waterfall of Truth arc… by having Naruto believe in himself (which he already did) for arguably the wrong reasons. Although admirable and touching, it’s not very believable considering the rules Kishimoto set before.

So, their arcs continue and the characters have to keep growing. As Main-characters, it’s saying “you aren’t there yet, there’s something you have to discover still”. It isn’t “anyway, you still have a war to fight”, because the war isn’t an obstacle to their inner needs. It’s plot conflict mostly. When it comes to Naruto and Sasuke, Kishimoto masterfully used plot conflict between each other as an obstacle to represent how they feel. Naruto’s existence really is an obstacle to Sasuke’s goal, but you gotta wonder why exactly that is. Naruto couldn’t ever become Hokage if he couldn’t save a friend, but if that’s true, then Naruto failed long before that, so why is Sasuke so special, huh? Hehe.

On top of all that, overcoming these obstacles means they have to fight for it— emotionally and literally. And fight they do, which is why it is so emotional, because it’s both. The discovery lies in acceptance, something a character can’t go back from in a good story and it’s very prevalent during their conversation after VotE2 and Sasuke’s inner monologue at the end. They are each other’s answer to the Thematic questions the story posed in the beginning. These aren’t “can Naruto become Hokage?” Or “Will Sasuke decide to destroy Konoha?” Or “will our heroes be able to win the war?”, those are plot, not Theme and they don’t argue for a Universal truth nor does it repeat throughout the story constantly like their bond is. It's why Sasuke's "I've lost" has nothing to do with giving up the reason behind his goal, nor the physical fight they just had.

Together it creates a promise saying their understanding is the solution to the Narutoverse’s problem we unfortunately weren’t able to see in action because it jumped from that to delulu lala-land. But that didn’t make the former any less true.

Because if it wasn’t, then Kishimoto spent 72 volumes proving a message he never intended to prove which is ridiculous. As is saying that doing so is accidental (lmao).

And come on now, if their love for each other is the growth within their Character Arcs, the answer to the problems the Theme and Plot posed, both supported by Context and Subtext with some insane blatant Text on top, then I’m sold completely.

Ooohhh and don’t get me started on the insane amount of symbolisms and metaphoric elements and how Kishimoto used minor characters to support and deepen its meaning because I'll be typing forever... ><

#asktamelee #sns talk #manga talk #story talk #I can say more but I think 2000+ words should be enough for now ><#and yeah we all know all the sns-moments #but I like viewing it through the elements of story because I think #personally #that it strengthens the overall argument #which is a win-win

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