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toastsnaffler · 21 days

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Would love to hear ur thoughts on Hades game sometime because I too loved but had beef with the game and I think we are the same ….

yessss, disclaimer I haven't played it for like 3 years and I only played 10 hours/got to the end once before I dropped it so i might be misremembering some things but I stick by my opinions! under the cut cuz this is long as fuck 🫣 my haterism has no limits

ok so basically my grievances w hades can be split into 2 main areas: gameplay + narrative, I'll break them down in that order.

firstly gameplay - roguelikes/lites are my fave genre so I was predominantly approaching hades from this angle + its failure here is the clincher for me.

I found the gameplay repetitive and stale. this isnt a criticism of its permadeath like ive seen some ppl make - I usually relish repetition/grind especially in permadeath-based games bc I find tactical challenge fun + love the learning curve, its soooo rewarding. but hades is ultimately just a glorified button masher. mob/boss movesets are boring + unoriginal, and can generally all be fought the same way. trying to do otherwise drags out fights; it actively discourages emergent gameplay so theres little variance WITHIN runs. the pool of rooms for procedural generation is far too small so theres little variance BETWEEN runs. there's no real challenge to combat, difficulty is mainly increased by heightened mob tankiness as you get further in a run. movement/combat doesn't flow well, its mechanically very weak, relying heavily on its permanent upgrade system instead of developing skill in the way you approach the game. all the weapons feel clunky and don't really offer any unique challenge/benefit so theres virtually no point switching between them and the grind to unlock them all is so pointless… god there are just SOOO many hack n slash crawlers that keep it fresh even for hundreds of hours and hades fails miserably at keeping it fresh for even 5 measly hours :^/

I didnt like the boon system either - its far too simplistic + shallow. its fine to rely on chance, this is part of the random generation, and I think it had a lot of potential in that it was a good way of combining aesthetic w gameplay itself. but this is pretty much the only form of resource management - and theres barely any management to it! theres no reward for exploring different builds, they dont really synergise BETWEEN gods in interesting or useful ways, so the game encourages you to just stick with one god throughout, and biases random generation towards boons youve already collected. part of the fun for me is learning HOW to design a build, and working with the randomiser to play flexibly, but hades just isnt interested in that at all...

also - I don't like the permanent upgrade system, I think this detracts from it as a rogue. every time you should be starting on square 1 - maybe you pick up health upgrades etc throughout each run, and maybe you unlock new weapons etc for the random generation pool, or purely cosmetic upgrades, but the point of permadeath is that it RESETS! zags base health + dmg should be the same 50 hours into the game as when u first open it. make a different genre of game if u dont wanna do that lol. I also think IF youre going to say fuck it and add a permanent upgrade system, you should also add unlockable permanent biome shortcuts bc ur just making it boring as fuck to have to waste time grinding thru earlier biomes with unskippable combat once youre op for them.

I GET that they did this to make the game more accessible* to players who dont typically enjoy rogues, but it just makes it really disappointing for those of us who DO love rogues, and it always feels cheap to me when games are like "well of you want challenge then set the difficulty yourself with these modifiers 🙄" like just make the base difficulty TOUGH up front and then add an easy/story mode and accessibility features* for players who don't want the challenge.. if you're gonna call yourself a rogue the gameplay should be the PRIORITY not a throwaway option

one of my biggest peeves with hades is how people now laud it as one of the best rogues - whenever I mention I like the genre I almost always get asked "oh, like hades?" and it pisses me off so much… its a rogueLITE not roguelike, ie. it has rogue ELEMENTS but its not a true one and imo, it does a pretty shit job implementing them! I would have a lot less resentment towards it if it wasnt marketed as the forefront of the rogue genre - frankly its a very basic rogue with very mid gameplay, its characters/design are by FAR its strong point and it should be sold as such. its misleading and makes me sad that this is what most people think of when they hear rogue :-(

*(side note - accessibility in this game is another major flaw. theres really no excuse for a game as popular as this to be so lacking in accessibility options. allow people to bind keys together or use coloured outlines or have colourblindness settings or alter font/text size etc - its not that hard! dead cells did a great job of this lol)

anyway... moving onto my second criticism - narratively, its also unsatisfying.

the hades plot is, loosely, about a cycle of abuse, so the 2 natural directions to go in with this are either: #1: escaping the cycle, or #2: continuing it forever.

#2 is the easiest to do with a rogue format - bc of permadeath the game is already cyclical, so all you have to do is create an ending which loops perfectly back to the start (smth like 'its impossible to truly defeat/reconcile with his father so even after zag beats him, hades drags him back to the start again). obviously this is a miserable story to tell, but tbh I think it wouldve been interesting + fitting - so much of greek mythos is about cycles and the unchanging nature of the gods, and they LOVED eternal cyclical punishments. plus theres smth rly tragic about zag gradually helping everyone else while no one else can save him from his family LOL

#1 is a bit harder to do - this is the story they WANTED to tell but I just don't think it worked… the driving force plot-wise is his desperation to escape. realistically for this to happen the game needs to be finite, which it can't be due to its rogue nature - somehow you have to end up at the very start again. the main solutions I can think of for this are:

a) after the final boss, insert some time travel shenanigans (easy to fit into the worldbuilding using a character like kronos) and all of zags progress with hades is unspooled. this can be completely out of his control, or it could be a choice the player makes (to end the game here or choose to go back and relive zags past in order to progress npc questlines). eg. what happens in dead cells. again, tragic but it makes more sense to me

-or b) bite the bullet and give the game a completely finite ending after beating hades. if players want to go back and play more to complete other npc questlines, they pick up play from before they beat hades. this isnt explained "narratively" bc the plot is already concluded and now theyre just playing for fun (eg. what going under does)

I also think for a character-focused story-rich game, roguelite was a really terrible choice of genre as it locks every interaction behind pure chance and hours of grinding - just really baffling why they decided to do this, especially when theyve had such success previously making games within different genres (transistor, bastion, pyre). the core of the issue for me is that the devs wanted to create a game that was both story rich AND a rogue - and these things arent mutually exclusive, but the best features of each contradict each other when you try to balance them in a way to appease their respective fans (ie. the challenge/complexity of the gameplay is heavily restricted by keeping it easy for ppl unfamiliar with rogues to pick up, but the strength of the narrative arc is simultaneously weakened by the fact that as a rogue it has to be perpetual bc of permadeath + you're working with procedural generation…)

I'm not going to beef with the artstyle or music bc I rly loved them both (even if I wish the body diversity was better!), or with the interpretations of greek gods bc literally every piece of media abt greek mythos has to decide how to interpret them and I think its silly to be like "this isnt CANON" - since we actually dont HAVE a strict "canon" for many of these stories bc theyve been retold/translated in so many conflicting ways lol. I've just heard ppl complaining abt that and I dont think its worth complaining about 🤷‍♀️

ANYWAY tl;dr: hades should've been an action-heavy isometric metroidvania… it wouldve made it far easier to focus on character questlines (ie. with respawn points + a fixed map), unified the story they wanted to tell with the gameplay SO much more effectively, and allowed them to reach the full potential of both, whilst also playing up to supergiant's previous game-making strengths. but thats my 2 cents!

#SORRY THIS ENDED UP BEING SO LONG I JUST HAVE A LOT TO SAYYYY #also sorry for the weird formatting i typed this out in my phone notes and copy pasted into tumblr sjkdjf. hope it makes sense #just really frustrating to me that it ended up how it did bc it couldve been soooo good if it was good. but it wasn't 💔#whats even more frustrating is that hades 2 doesnt look like its gonna improve on any of this lmao. sad well theres other games!#hades #.asks #.diaries

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definitelynotshouting · 11 months

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Oooo, I see you started playing MC as well ^.^

My brain has been stuck in the game for a solid 2 months now, I've had so many ideas for building, so it's nice to see you enjoy it too <3

And to be fair, I do use creative mode for some things in my singleplayer world (cuz I wanna skip to the good parts lol). But I think if the potion lab I build in the survival multiplayer I'm in was what I had made in that singleplayer, a sad Grian looking for weakness potions would be delighted to stumble upon it pffttt

I have 2 double chests of finished potions, huge nether wart field, endless water source, 5 brewing stands, a whole double chest of at least 3 of every potion ingredient, pre-prepared awkward potions, 3stacks of bottles, blaze rods for days, you name it and it's there

The only issue is that all weakness potions I have ready are turned into splash potions, cuz I've never really had the desire to chug them myself (besides that one time I tired to get the "have every potion effect on all at once" achievement xdd)

~🌠

Ive been watching mcyt religiously for abt 2 yrs now (prior to that i had ZERO exposure to minecraft at all) and have joked before that its given me fucking minecraft shingles bc i never got my crafting vaccination as a kid. This thing has DESTROYED my braincells its just all minecraft blocks now, im obsessed

Ive also shamelessly used cheats in my first proper singleplayer world-- pretty much just to teleport to coords bc i get lost real easily and an hour of trying to navigate back with F3 is not my idea of a good time 😭😭😭😭 but with this new 1.20 singleplayer my plan is basically play on peaceful until i can get set up with a house and get a bit more practice with movement, then switch it to easy to practice killing mobs, then slowly ramp up the difficulty until i get to hard so i can cure zombie villagers. I watched p much the entirety of Pixlriffs' Survival Guide S2 around January after getting super sick and needed smth to entertain myself with, and now im following along with his S3 bc he is just the guy ever to me :] its taught me a lot abt the mechanics of minecraft which has been REALLY nice for a late learner 💀💀💀💀

YOUR POTION ROOM SOUNDS SO COOL!!!!! Thats so many ingredients,,,, i love your organization system that sounds so nice. Ive found my favorite thing in minecraft is literally inventory management SKDNEKDJD hermits beware i am the anti-chest monster guy<3 but yeah gods can u imagine if Grian had used splash potions 😭😭😭 he wouldve dropped SO FAST, RIP

How do you usually plan your builds??? I got myself a creative flatworld to make stuff in, but ive found that idea i had with taking a screenshot of the area and drawing on it has REALLY helped me put some concrete visuals to the ideas ive had which has been SUPER helpful. I just finished building the silhouette of my future lakehouse the other day (via the Pixlriffs stone method) so now im just messing around with block palettes to see how i wanna incorporate the cherry wood :] im super excited to build it for real in survival!!!!

#shouting speaks #asks #minecraft #mcyt #cherrybee hollow #pixlriffs has become my automatic feel good youtuber tbh #ive pavloved myself on that man's voice. spent a week sick out of my mind and watching nothing but his vids now im attached #i love his sense of humor he comes across as so serious and then suddenly he's saying smth completely off the wall #guy who frogboils his viewers into thinking they have a reasonable man on their hands only to blink and realized he shrinkwrapped a mountain #out of sheer spite #your honor. i love him #he just like me fr #long post #txt

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cutemeat · 2 years

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omg unironically would love to hear u expand on this

ABSOLUTELY!!! im gonna go ahead n put all this under the cut cuz i have a feeling it'll get long lol

so overall i think that its clearly established by this point that mac and dennis are the will-they-won't-they (i know i know) relationship ... but dee and charlie, while they are framed as such As A Joke every now and then, are definitely not lol. i am really fascinated by their dynamic though because i think it is loaded with commentary on both media and society and how all these expectations can culminate in this fucked up web of a relationship that dee and charlie have spun.

like to me.. dee and charlie have shown time and time again that the introduction of any romantic/sexual aspects into their dynamic fucks it up and not even in that classic rom-com way... like in a way that's genuinely weird and off-putting when it goes there LOL. (so it does a great job at pointing out weak spots in the typical sitcom/romcom het relationship tropes) whereas with mac/dennis it's the opposite! the lack of action on the romantic/sexual tension between them is what actively sabotages that relationship and makes things difficult between them n makes their dynamic frustrating to watch esp in more recent seasons. at this point, i think the writers are aware that they have made all the points/commentary they could possibly make by pitting these two dynamics against one another, so i do hope they're going in a direction where they're breaking out from that (it seems that way at least). but anyway... so that's the interpretation i have of the two dynamics as a whole!

and i basically have two key chardee/macdennis comparisons that i use to support my interpretations here... the first is with Gets Held Hostage and the contrast between how charlie talks to dee after the team switch versus how mac and dennis handle it...

that interaction between mac/dennis from the start shows us that they are in sync and on a similar wavelength which puts them at ease even in this very intense situation. and the framing of this scene supports that subtext very well! the shot is close up and we have both of them in the frame holding steady eye contact the entire time.. this is an honest and strong line of communication they've got between them. even when mac says "i love you" and it goes unreciprocated, i personally think it's weirdly sweet that he doesn't let dennis just stand there n expect him to react a certain way so he just sorta sends dennis off when it's clear dennis is thrown off.

then there's charlie/dee's interaction, which right off the bat is vastly different. the framing of their interaction does not give off that same openness. instead of one shot with the both of them facing one another where we can see both their faces, we get entirely over the shoulder shots between the two of them... this indicates that there is not really the same honesty here that's happening between mac and dennis (which is then paid off when we see charlie just used the 'back office plan' to ditch dee lol) ... framing aside, charlie is speaking in a rushed way that gives dee no time to think or breathe.. this is intentional because he doesn't WANT her to take any time to think! so he overloads her with as much information and stimulus as possible (kissing her then slapping her ..) with basically zero chances for her to explain herself or take any agency in this situation.

then with Dines Out vs Rules the World...

in Rules the World, charlie very quickly begins treating dee like a servant... this, to me, speaks to his deeper issues with women in general. it makes perfect sense considering how he saw his mom treated growing up for him to have this expectation from women, that they should be there to serve and it's not good enough for them just to exist if they're not doing anything. charlie says all his frustration is coming from all the pressure on him... but the thing is he doesn't HAVE to be doing all the shit he's doing. it's a video game. and frankly, he could be including dee in the whole thing more, and having some communication there would have likely prevented dee "betraying" him at the end... but he tells us directly WHY he never thinks to include her because he thinks she is incapable of being anything more than a "stupid kept housewife"... when charlie said he could get dee her mink coat... it's not because he wants to serve HER needs (dee's need with the coat being to feel that she is special and that she is someone to be respected because she is missing this from her relationship with charlie right from the start) but rather to serve his own needs, if he keeps Dee happy (on the barest minimum level possible) then she will continue to do as he asks without complaint, which is how he prefers her to be.

even in Misses the Boat, over time the sorta 'wholesomeness' that came off from Chardee's interactions the first time around wear off fast... like Charlie REALLY isn't that supportive of dee and her dreams or ambitions. to me, it seems like he's sorta testing the waters for how little work he has to do in order to get what he wants from her. he's checking out how low her bar is, and it's pretty low.

compare this to Dines Out and mac and dennis' thing about the karaoke machine and singing... that whole conflict is something that dennis could've easily not brought up again because clearly mac had already forgotten about the whole thing by the time dennis was giving the speech LMAO. but dennis still felt it was important to make that heartfelt moment up to mac... again, it doesn't really serve any self-interest of Dennis to do so... if anything it takes away from his own spotlight, but he did it anyway! (so yeah the bar isn't Much Higher for mac than it is for dee, but the difference in intention between charlie/dennis matter here to me!)

and speaking of the macdennis singing thing... i believe starting with episode one of season fifteen this trend only continues based on the blocking/framing of the scenes with charlie and dee compared to mac and dennis as well!

for example.. in most of the shots with charlie/dee, they are often on different levels (ex: charlie standing while dee sits) or overall not showing that theyre in sync (not giving us much of a "visual harmony" if u will..) like charlie constantly moving around to get beer or the fireworks while dee is basically sat listening the entire time... the two of them are basically only in frame together when they Have to be. its all show!

compare this to mac and dennis who are in sync the entire time, sans the scene where dennis is explaining briefly how 2020 affected the bar to Gary... but after that its p much.. when dennis sits, mac sits. when dennis stands, mac stands. their fuckin guitars are even lined up perfectly in the shot of them off in the corner looking at dennis' phone... like. that shot itself of the two of em choosing to still be joined at the hip when theyre not even in the frame speaks volumes to me of where their relationship was at that point.

#frankly i dont.. think charlie rlly Loves anyone on a romantic level #at most he gets Obsessed or fixated on ppl but doesn't rlly fall in love #pls know i have no fuckin clue what I'm talking abt I don't do serious PhD level analysis I didn't go to school for that #i do have so much fun w this stuff tho LMAO.. this is all . cathartic again after having to deal w ppl like this my whole life #its fun to just be on like. a spectator perspective rather than stuck in the middle #i have to stop myself from going on tangents every time cuz there's just... phew so much to unpack #i hate the way i phrase this shit cuz i truly don't think dennis is an innocent victim but I DO think he's extremely gullible n stupid bc #like dennis litrlly signed on to be a scapegoat cuz frank just used a diff word like this guy is a fuckin idiot fodgnrkjn #hes so desperate for approval n i think both frank n charlie n dee know how to tap into that for whatever they need #benefits the ecosystem n all that #doesnt make him any less harmful for the shit he has done tho lol #saved this for 1 am cuz i told u i get annoying abt it oi

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ackermansupremacy · 3 years

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okay okay.... that hitch modern wife hc's 🤌🏼 now can we get nsfw hc's for her?

When am i ever gonna say no to nsfw hc’s? Literally never

Kind of a pillow princess ngl 🗿

But also an absolute BRAT

Like MA’AM

A shameless masochist bruh

She’ll piss you off and be like “what are you gonna do? Hit me?”

Then have the audacity to look SUPER excited when you threaten it

Please all she wants is for you to spank her until she can barely sit the next day

And she’ll STILL taunt you even while you do

“Wow, you’re weak as hell i can barely feel anything.”

She will try to piss you off as much as she can just to make you fuck her harder

Shes a freak i know it

She is NOT afraid to show it either

Please tie her up :((

She LOVES shibari

She also loves when you take pictures of her tied up cuz she loves the aesthetic of it

When your going down on her she squeezes your head with her thighs a lot,,, really tightly too

She moans l o u d

You guys have def gotten a noise complaint or two in the past

Shes so awkward about domming too lol

Like she CANNOT do it but always talks a big game about it

Like as soon as she tops shes like “can we switch back pretty please 🥺”

Pls let her sit on your face she’ll be good for you for the rest of the day if you do 🥺

PLZ spank her she desperately needs it

Leave a mark when do you it too

And make sure you give her lots an lots of hickeys

So when she sees them you can remind her of all the fun you had that night ;)

I could write so much for Hitch bruh i love her

Thanks for requesting! I hope you enjoyed!

#aot #snk #aot hitch #hitch dreyse #hitch dreyse x reader #snk hitch #hitch imagines

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sugawara-sweetheart · 4 years

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i saw your match ups were open so 👉👈

i’m a 5ft filipina, majoring in audio tech (music production), and am an all rounded person. meaning- you can throw me into any situation and i adapt fairly quickly. i songwrite, sing, and produce my own music, and although this is my hobby and what i’m studying rn— i still not completely certain in what i want,,,,

other than music, i love cooking (i make some MEAN DUMPLINGS and pizza toast)! i used to bake macaroons for my crush whenever he felt down or stressed LOL. i guess that means part of my love language is giving- but i also love head pats and hugs. pda is a weakness of mine.

BUT just cuz i go crazy over a random forehead kiss or back hug doesn’t mean i’m a bottom all the time 😤😤 i am a POWER SWITCH

*cough* but anyway— i am a capircorn and mbti type is ISFP-T. i make a lot of nerdy references and inside jokes to those i’m close with. according to my friends, i’m easy to be around, but will tease here and there if i have a chance. THAT and i make a lot of sex jokes. but that’s me.

AH AND AND AND i love hot cheetos. chips- anything spicy or salty. it’s like my kryptonite.

*you can include nsfw stuff if you want, but if u don’t want to, it’s ok LOL.

- 🦋anon

i match you up with...oikawa tōru!!

you and oikawa get along because you’re so relaxed and easy-going it vibes well with his charismatic yet slightly dramatic, extra personality

you’re not just his lover but like one of his best friends too- you tease him and he teases you back just as much- and you’re calm and adaptable and able to put up with all his strong emotions

dates are something oikawa enjoys a lot, wanting to give you some time and attention instead of just being in the gym all day, so he appreciates any effort you go to for any sort of date and enjoys them whole-heartedly!

“thank you for such a lovely day, y/n-chan. you’re the absolute best.” he’ll say when he’s dropping you off to your home, giving you a chaste kiss as extra thanks

he’s really truthful so if you’re not willing to trust at the start, he shows his consistent feelings of adoration towards you the best he can

sends a good morning message with plenty of heart emojis and a selfie or a picture of the sunrise every morning without fail

oikawa is big on pda- he likes to give you back hugs and kisses and because you’re so much shorter than him he loves to rest his chin on your head or give you head pats

“i’m not a shelf, tōru.”

“yes you are, y/n-chan- you’re my pretty little shelf.”

oikawa takes his music taste very seriously because mattsun and Iwaizumi listen to the coolest stuff so he always wants to listen to whatever you create! he loves seeing you at work, listening to you sing with a bright smile on his face

i’m sorry but he steals all your chips, just grinning and throwing a peace sign when you yell at him and he never buys you any to make up for it

“you’re as hot as a cheeto, y/n-chan.” is unfortunately of his favourite flirtatious lines

but even if he does always steal your food, he absolutely loves all the treats you bake him- he blushes and engulfs you in a tight hug. “y/n-chan, you’re so cute! iwa-chan, look what my s/o made for me!”

he also tries to meet your love language by greeting you on monday mornings with little gifts: a warm cup of coffee on your doorstep- “good morning, y/n-chan! you’re as radiant as the morning sun!” or cute little keyring and badges and a sweet pastry and other sweet little gifts that he thinks you’d like

oikawa initially gets flustered with your sex jokes but soon after some corruption from makki and mattsun he’s matching your energy and is just as dirty-minded as you are

he loves how nerdy you are because he’s secretly the same! He’s showing you all his sci-fi comics and movies and telling you how amazing aliens are and is super excited to hear about all your interests

nsfw:

he’s a power switch too so you both get to dom and sub regularly

when you’re a power sub, oikawa loves to brat-tame with light spanks and teasing you

he also likes to edge you and ruining you till you’re begging

but when you’re domming , he’s just as much of a power sub as you

“beg if you want to cum, tōru.” he’ll grin cheekily even though he’s flustered and desperate. “and if i don’t?”

he loves punishments so you may have to be a little bit of a sadist if you’re domming

but aftercare is always sweet, just consisting of holding each other and oikawa loves to praise you and shower you with gentle kisses and rubs

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wildernessuntothemselves · 5 years

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over-edging lee minho....... i'm considering...... hmmm..... *after considering for some good minutes* gurl why u giving me those scenarios uGh i'm 100% u have something against minho bc knowing myself i probably would edge him until he pass out and that sh*t would be so painful and good he would literally beg me to do again in the next day and i would just ignore him 'cause pretty boy couldn't even sit or walk straight -♨

I'm a minho anti don't you know lol but fr it's just cuz I know he'd love it. He a switch who would turn things on you if you show any sign of weakness so you gotta keep a tight rein on him

#please keep your minhoes in check and thank you #moe talks #♨️ anon

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nilesdaughter · 5 years

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Dragon Age Questionnaire

Tagged by the ever-lovely @lakambaeni! I’m sorry it always takes me forever to get to your tags.

Tagging: @battlefox, @tyishi, @aurianavaloria, and any other DA fans that follow me! But, as always, there’s no obligation to fill the tag :)

01) Favourite game of the series? I think DAI is my favorite in the series, because it was the one that really pulled me into the fandom.

02) How did you discover Dragon Age? As is usual for my entrance to fandom, it started with blogs I follow starting to share content about the game. (This was a little bit before DAI dropped.) It seemed cool, and @likhoradka had made a quick Handers comic that amused me, but I didn’t really get into it until @battlefox lent me a copy of DA2 so that I could see what all the hype was about.

03) How many times you’ve played the games? I’ve played all three games through to completion once; with DAO, I played most of the DLCs that were concurrent to the base game, but I only played the vanilla games for DA2 and DAI. HOWEVER, I have started several additional playthroughs, to the point where I have a small army of characters.

04) Favourite race to play as? Elves! Though, to be fair, this is a bias I generally have in fantasy settings.

05) Favourite class? Mages, because, again, the bias followed me from the fantasy setting in general.

06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time? I try to play to each character, but I still usually end up making the same decisions (so far).

07) Go-to adventuring group?

DAO: Alistair/Dog, Leliana, Zevran

DA2: Varric, Fenris, Anders

DAI: Since this is the one that I have the most characters in, this is more varied depending on the playthrough, but my PERSONAL favorite combination is Varric, Dorian, and Iron Bull.

08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into? Definitely Enansal, even though she’s just a glorified self-insert. I just write about her the most.

09) Favourite romance? Probably Cullen, but that’s because I’ve done that one twice.

10) Have you read any of the comics/books? I haven’t got a chance to, yet! I did buy myself a copy of “Asunder,” but I haven’t had time to actually read it.

11) If you read them, which was your favourite book? TBD ;)

12) Favourite DLCs? I mean, I do love “The Stone Prisoner,” because it gives you Shale, and I love them so much.

13) Things that annoy you. Mooostly the fandom. This is why I keep to myself and my little corner amongst the lovely people behind @dadrunkwriting and @asiansofthedas.

14) Orlais or Ferelden? Ferelden, because it’s always given me Celtic vibes and therefore reminds of Ireland :)

15) Templars or mages? Mages.

16) If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one? I personally have them existing in parallel universes. However, I like the idea that all of the DAO characters end up joining the Wardens at some point or another. I also do have two separate Tabris playthroughs that have become my “Tabris twins” headcanon.

17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

Veleda’s mabari is Rowan. Since my first playthrough with Sylvia was with the vanilla game, she didn’t have her mabari, so I still haven’t thought of a name. Enansal and Cullen name their mabari Buster. Most of my other playthroughs have named mabari, though, but I have way too many to name them all haha I also never named any mounts, probably because I didn’t know that they could be named!

18) Have you installed any mods? I wish I could, but I definitely don’t have the space or know-how to install them.

19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden? Veleda definitely did not. She was actually more than happy to stay in the Circle, because she definitely started out as a huge Loyalist, and was upset that she was basically forced into leaving with Duncan. She was eventually glad for the opportunity to live in the “outside world” though.

20) Hawke’s personality? Sylvia ended up being true blue lol

21) Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition? No. I usually prioritized stats (and sometimes individual colors).

22) If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

Veleda: She wouldn’t have betrayed Jowan. Being away from the Circle made her realize that she should have put more value in his friendship.

Sylvia: Even if it ultimately spared his life, she always regrets NOT taking Carver to the Deep Roads with her, because she hates the time that they spent apart.

Elera: She never would have left her Clan prior to the events of DAI.

Enansal: She wishes she never had gotten involved with Aaric.

23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon? Not particularly? I’d say my biggest canon-breaking content is my Tabris twins and my Kremquisitor playthrough.

24) Are any of your character(s) based on someone? Aisling Tabris, Sylvia Hawke, and Enansal Lavellan are all self-inserts, technically >_> Nan is the one that is most like me, though. Ash is my go-to persona when I make new characters, and Sylvia is really only a self-insert in the sense that all of her dialogue choices were based on what *I* would do in that situation.

25) Who did you leave in the Fade? Stroud, because holy frick, I could not break Varric’s heart like that.

26) Favourite mount? N/A

#tagged #tag meme #dragon age

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vitosscaletta · 6 years

Note

Shit I already sent you a million ask about this otp ask thing but you should do hmmmmm all of them for your courier and benny adsfgh

BICH I LOVE U and thank u so much i love this meme a lot so i really dont mind getting more asks for it ;)

(pls don’t @ me if this is ooc. benny has like the most inconsistent characterization ever so i’m trying to make do with this bs)

i’m gonna put this under a readmore cuz it’s getting too long!!

Who is the most affectionate?

They both are but in their own way. i feel like benny would actually be.. p affectionate but tries to play it cool?? meanwhile isabela just holds hands whenever they’re in public lol

Big spoon/Little spoon?

bela is the big spoon… (this is canon!!!!!!! “hold me, will ya?” PROOF)

Favorite non-sexual activity?

watching the same 3 old movies over and over again together, playing cards (Bela sucks at it), visiting all sorts of places around the strip, playing golf in the penthouse of the lucky 38 which doesn’t really end well

Who is most likely to carry the other?

Benny has to carry her :^) she’s not strong enough to lift him :/

What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

for bela it’s his smile… that damn smirk that makes her go weak in the knees (the reason she fell for his ass in the first place!!)

for benny it’s her weird looking nose….. it’s cute

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

o well considering they tried to kill each other it changed drastically… Benny falls for her pretty quickly lol so he tries to be act all charming.. and fails but she’s into it!!!! (yes she thinks his cringy ass lines are hot). She has him wrapped around her finger lmao but it’s the same the other way around?

Bela is a romantic at heart and benny is the only one with the same weird old world obsession as her so she’s all “we’re soulmates… it’s fate babey! :’)”. honestly she’s as much a fool for him as he is for her!!! two clowns!

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

we all know benny has a billion cringy nicknames for everyone (”Pussycat”, “babe”, etc….) but in more uh… intimate moments it’s “Bela” lol. She calls him “Benjamin” when she’s teasing him :/

Who worries the most?

uh Benny, She’s dumb and constantly gets herself into trouble.

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

neither, Benny thinks he does but he orders the wrong thing and she pretends it’s what she wanted :/

Who tops?

usually Bela lmfao. they switch sometimes tho.

Who initiates kisses?

both :^)

Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

it’s usually Bela but Benny does this too

Who kisses the hardest?

Benny -_-

Who says I love you first?

isabela says it (too early) while they’re in some ugly little restaurant on the strip

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

u h benny probably

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

bela’s parents are ded and her friends all think its weird bc he shot her lol. swank thinks it’s odd as well but he and bela are buddies so it’s cool!!!

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Benny lol and Bela is into it. she loves that romantic shit!!!

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

honestly? i can’t see either of them being good at cooking lol

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

take a wild guess!

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

they both do they’re embarrassing!!!

What would be their theme song?

the ultimate benny/courier song in general is “I can’t decide” (which i got from your playlist hehe…)

honestly my main inspiration for their relationship was hollywood’s dead (some unreleased lana song) cuz bela is a dumbass and sees him as this ~~ sexy, classy 50′s gangster.. the sort of man that’s described in the song :’)

Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

Bela lmao. She’s a singer, she has a good voice

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Bela does her usual traveling or explores the strip cuz that’s her favorite place. Benny just…. does his job i guess.

#im so scared i fucked up and made this ooc...#x: wildcards #lndzzze #ask #bad!! bad bad bad!!#it was fun tho..

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hanasaku-shijin · 7 years

Text

It has come... the LWA finale....

guys i dont want it to end im

IF I NEVER EATCH THE FINALE LWA IS TECHNICALLY NEVER OVER FOR ME WHAT IF I JUST

NEVER WATCH THE FINALE UNTIL IM ON MY DEATHBED

i saw before but i’ll say it again NO THEMSE SONG IN THE BEGINNING CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING

IT’S

COMING IN THE END

BUT WHICH SONG

CUZ MIND CONDUCTOR WOULD BE RAD BUT BOOOII

IF IT’S SHINY RAY, THE SONG THAT STARTED US OFF 5 MONTHS AGO

IM GONNA BREAK DOWN

who am i kidding im gonna cry anyway

HERE WE GO HHEEEERE WE FUCKING GOOOOO

old men ew bye

bruh

BRUH IM GOING BACK TO WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE HATRED NEEDING TO BE OVERPOWERED BY LOVE/HAPPINESS

BOOOOOII I SWEAR TO GOD

JASNA

PLEASE

OHHH CANT CATCH IN ON YOUR BROOMS MAYBE BUT I FUCKING

HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT BROOM CAN REACH IT AND OH MY FUKCING GOD PLEEEEEAAAASSEEE

THAT WOULD BE

THE ULTIMATE BEST THING

UM HI DIANA WAS THE FIRST PERSON SO VOICE SUPPORT FOR AKKO INSTEAD OF DOUBT

EXCUUUUUSE ME IM FUCKING EMO

UUUHHHMMM

OOHHHH

MY GOD

AKKO AND DIANA

ARE GONNA

RIDE

SHINEY VOLLEY

A G A I N

OH MY FUCKING LORD IN HEAVEN IM

GONNA STROKE IM HAVING AN ACTUAL STR O KE

WE GET IT

A SECOND TIME IM

HOOOO MY GODDDDDDDDD

OOOHH MY HODDDODD

ALSO THE WAY AKKO SAYS EVERYONE’S NAMES BUT!! DIANA’S!! SHE SAYS WITH SUCH RELIEF!!! BITCH IM FUCKING CRYING

THIS IS

REALLY HAPPENING

IM GONNA

CHAROIX SHOULDER TOUCH

//HUFFS IM

FUCK

LORD

THAT SHOT OF THEM ALL CONSTRUCTING THE GIANT BROOM

AKKO AND DIANA TALKING TOGETHER WITH ONLY EACH OTHER

CROIX AND CONSTANZE BEING TECH TOGETHER

O H

MY G

FCK GUC

OH MY GOD

THE

THE W HITE

ROBE S

THE CHARIOT HATS

THE

THEEHE HT OUTFITS IM

IIMMM

OHH MY HOFD DOD OHOG DKOHNG FB SKBFKDHB KVLRIGZGSK.SFBJD

IM SERIOUSLY ABOUT TO CRY

THIS VERYS ECOND

OH MY GODD LOOK AT THEM!!!!

MY GIRLS!!!!

IM GONNA

I NEED A MINUTE IM FUCK

OH NOOO

I CANT DO THIS YOU GUYS I CANT

MY GOD

LOOK AT THEM

ALL CHANTING TOGETHER

DIANA AT THE HEAD OF THE PACK

NO WONDER SHE FLEW SO DETERMINEDLY IN THE OPENING THEME SONG ALL THIS TIME

LOOK AT THEM GOOOOOO

I AM THE

MOST

SHOOK

EVER IM

IM FUCKING

HOLY SHIT

CROIX TELLING IT LIKE IT IS

FAILURES AS TEACHERS LMAO U BET BUT DONT DOUBT THEM DAMMIT

A BELIEVING HEART IS YOUR MAGIC CROIX COME ON SAY IT CHARIOT SAYY IIITT

SOMEONE’D BETTER SAY IT

OH YM GOD

LOTTE USED A FAERY!!! FINALLY!!

JASNA THE ANCHOR THE BOOST

THEY JUST GONNA FALL OFF LIKE ROCKET BOOSTERS

PUSHING EACH OTHER UP HIGHER

OH FUCKING SHIT

THIS MEANS SUCYS GONNA PAT LOTTE IM

NOT READY

FOR THIS

ALL OF THIS

SHE OPENED HER EYES

FUCK

THEY ALL HAVE THEIR OWN WAYS OF HELPING TO BOOST THE OTHERS

pff that random lady in the crowd was Hannah’s va just sayin

okay bet andrew is helping somehow yes wonderful ANYWAY

BACK TO MY GIRLS PLS

old men GO AWAAYYY

AAHHHH

LOTTE AND SUCY

COMBO

AND DID THE THING

AND HEY LOOK NOW THE BOYS ARE LIKE ‘WITCHES ARE COOL’

ahem akko just a suggestion but

instead of holding onto the broom handle why not

hold onto diana

good god UM THE AIR PRESSURE ARE THEY OKAY CAN THEY BREATHE???

just wondering

THIS IS ONLY 10 MINUTES IN UM IM DYING IT’S TAKEN ME 20 TO GET THIS FAR

JESUS

AKKO AND DIANA NEARLY GOT HIT BY OTHER MISSILES AND DIED TOGETHER

LORD IN HEAVEN

GOD CAN WE STOP

SWITCHING BETWEEN DIANAKKO AND OTHER THINGS JUST KEEP US ON THEM PLEEEEASE

FOR LONGER THAN 2 SECONDS

okay everyone is giving them energy to go on neat

LOL FUCKING

CHARIOT AND CROIX JUST WATCHING A MOVIE OF THEIR DAUGHTERS POTENTIALLY ABOUT TO DIE

HVAING A GAY OL TIME TOGETHER

WATCHING A FUCKNG MOVIE

MOVIE DATE IM FUCKING LOSING MY MIND

CROIX IS STREAMING THEM

AND SHE’S!!

LETTING CHARIOT ANNOUNCE!!!

LIKE THE PERFORMER SHE ONCE WAS

LIKE SHE HAS IN ALL THE OVAS DURING EMERGENCIES

SHE GETS TO DO IT AGAIN

BIIITTCCCHH

ALL THESE ELEMENTS COMING TOGETHER

OH MY GOSH STOP WITH THE OLD MEN GETTING IN THE MIDDLE FO FUCKING EEVRYTHTINNGG

I KNOW WE GOTTA MAKE THEM BELIEVE IN THE WITCHES BUT

CAN WE PLEASE JUST

FUCKING

PRIME MINISTER IS FUCKING MVP

OH MY GODDDDD

DIANA

JUMPS DOWN

AND

PUSHES HER ONWARD

OH MY GOD

IM FUCKING

YOU GU Y S

HELP ME

SHE MADE THEM INTO LITTLE DREAMS!!!

I M

SO FUCKING SHOOK

DIANA’S FUCKING KEEPING WATCH

WARNS AKKO WHENN TO HANG ON

KEEPING AN EYE OUT FOR HER

GOD

GODDDDDDD

OH YM HGOD

DIANA IS FUCKING

FLYING THIS FROM THE BACK HOW EVEN

HOOWWWWW

CAN SHE MANEUVER

I MEAN SHE’S DIANA FUCKING CAVENDISH BUT GOD

AKKOOOOO

AKKO GET BACK ON THE BROOM PLEASE

oh thank god

diana was FOLLOWING HER EVERY STEP SO SHE COULD CATCH HER AGAIN

LOOK AT THEM GO LOOK AT THIS TEAMWORK

OH SHIT

OH GOD

DIANA

SCREAMING FOR AKKO

A G A AIN

THIS IS THE 3RD TIME

OH MY GOD I HAVE TO KEEP PAUSING TO SCREAM

Oh my god

oh MY GOD SHE KEEP

SCREAMING FOR HER

OH MY GOD MY HEART IS TOO WEAK AND GAY FOR THIS

oh my god did she

the bird

oH MY GOD

D I A NA A

DIANAA

OH MY GOD OHNMY Y GOD D

OH Y GOD!!!

MY HEART IS SHOOK IM SHOOK OH MY GOD

OHHH

NOOOOOOOOO

OH MY GOD S OH MY GOF DIM GONNAC RY THTI SIS IT

THIS

EVERYHTING

SHE CAUGHT DIANA IN RETURN

SHOOTING STAR CAME BACK

SHINY RAAAAAYYYYY

IS PLAYING IM

OYU GUSYS

I CANT IM GUFKCING

THIS IS

EVERYTHING

you guys

im literally crying im typing through tears i cant fucking see

they

they held hands

they did shiny arc together

tehey

is this real im really fucking i cant see im c rying

oh my god

this cant be real this has to be a dream i

the magic

all over the world

oh my god the rod is

disappearing

AKKO ALMOST CRIED BUT

SHE LET IT GO

look

at them

standing on top of the wORLD TOGETHER

what in the name of all that’s holy did we ever do to deserve Little Witch Academia

OH MAN

CHARIOT IS KEEPING HER HAIR RED!!! JUST LIKE!!! WHAT NEON AND I SAID!!!

OH MY GOD

OOHHH MY LORD

CROIX IS GONNA

CURE WAGANDEA’S POISON

FOR CHARIOT

OH YM GOD

THAT IS A PROMISE

FOR HER TO RETURNT O CHARIOT

ONCE CROIX HAS FGOTTEN HER SHIT TOGETHER

wow um fuck me Chariot is so fucking GORGEOUS WITH THE RED HAIR LIKE THIS????????

holy fuck

OH!!!

MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOK AT

THEM ALL

BEING

FRIENDS

DIANA AND AMANDA HAVING TEA

SUCY AND CONSTANZE

HANNAH AND JASNA

LOTTE AND BARBARA OVER NIGHTFALL HOLY SHIT THAT IS SOMETHING THE FANS HAVE BEEN CRAVING SINCE EPISODE 4 HOLY SHIT

oh my god oohh my fCUKING GOD

EVERYONE CAME

TO WATCH AKKO FLY

AND

SHE

DID

OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

YOU GUYS

THIS

THIS IS IT

AND IM

I AM

FUCKING

HAPPY

THIS WAS EVERYTHING WE EVER COULD HAVE WANTED AND MORE

THIS INCORPORATED EVERY ELEMENT FROM THE SHOW’S PREVIOUS 24 EPISODES ALL INTO ONE

EVERYTHING WAS RIGHT HERE PERFECTLY IN ITS PLACE

EVEN AKKO FLYING HER BROOM SO MUCH FROM THE FIRST OPENING THEME

FINALLY IT MAKES SENSE WHY THEY PUT THAT IN THE OPENING IF SHE COULDNT FLY

CUZ SHE LEARNS TO

AT THE VERY

VERY

END

i....

have never seen

a better anime ending

ever

like literally im not even just saying that

this was

the best

thing

ever

in my entire life

god bless Little Witch Academia

#lwa spoilers #lwa blogging

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chikotos · 7 years

Text

speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot.

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore.

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

#personal #animal abuse/#self harm/#other stuff probably i guess #nya #its long uhh full disclosure i sjt wanted to feel like i was talkin 2 someone nyall can ignore this

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