Following up with the "Shadow Sickness" post imma jot down Shadow Sickness headcanons for my own main OC Holly Steelcry. y'know if anyone cares (solemnly and bashfully kicks at the ground with dirty sneakers /j)
"Shadow Sickness" headcanons for The Thing™
The progression of Shadow Sickness (regular state of mind -> corruption of mind and soul -> complete madness and/or eventual death) varies from person to person, for any reason. Holly's state of Shadow Sickness could be considered Halted (still suffering from symptoms but no longer actually "sick") due to how slooooow the progression is. They're in a "gray area" state where she's not developing new symptoms but her existing ones are gradually worsening
Holly first became "infected" when they learned Shadow Magic for the first time, but their symptoms started IMMEDIATELY, which is extremely uncommon. The first symptom Holly displayed was a Tulpa, a physical manifestation of their survivor's guilt of the destruction of Azteca. This would eventually lead to their second symptom of the Shadow Sickness, the physical scarring in which the survivor's guilt manifested - darkened streaks curled around their shoulders and down her back, appearing to resemble blackened, burnt feathers. This would be the first scar of three. (This particular scar brings feelings of shoulder and back discomfort: involuntary back and shoulder twitching, tiny muscle spasms, slight pain, and an occasional burning sensation).
Since then no more Tulpas would manifest, but more physical scarring would appear over time. The second scar resembles a clawed, skeletal hand curling around the front of Holly's throat. The "fingers" are long and crooked and wrap around her jugular and close snugly across her entire neck (this scar causes a sensation of asphyxiation; the tightness/closing of the throat and a loss of oxygen. Rarely it will cause a sore throat and when these feelings flare up, Holly will either go silent completely, repeatedly and audibly gulps, or pauses to take deep open-mouthed breaths of air). This scar starts to appear by the end of Khrysalis and fully manifests by the end of Mirage. It represents the helpless feelings of being forever bound to Shadow combined with the subconscious fear of fully succumbing to its temptations and madness until there is nothing of reason left.
The third (and final thus far) scar to appear is a swath of darkness that stretches across Holly's face and covers both eyes and the bridge of her nose, which appears to look like an eye mask, or the face of a raccoon (this scar is what caused Holly's eyesight to go bad, so much so that without them, Holly can only see light. They cannot distinguish any colors or shapes. This scar also causes intermittent exotropia [the occasional wandering of their right eye, facing outward], and headaches). This scar first started to appear in Karamelle and was fully manifested by the end of Novus. This scar represents the full embrace of the "false" identity Holly adopted of being Bartleby's Scion, and the deep-rooted belief of being inhuman and therefore better or superior than normal humans. It is when Holly accepts the dehumanization of her from everyone around them. (But hey, at least it covers their constant eyebags! ✌🏾)
Other symptoms would include the temporary loss of body control and mild hallucinations. Since Holly's Shadow Sickness is not yet in the most severe stage, she is fully conscious and sound of mind when these episodes happen.
The most common physical episode is when Holly's entire body suddenly goes rigid in a state of paralysis. Stiff like a board and can only move when someone moves them, but will involuntarily snap right back into position. It's spooky to see someone look so tense and frightened but their expression is nonchalant and a bit tired. "Yeah, it happens." This usually lasts for around a minute or two.
Other physical episodes include jumping straight up into the air, suddenly dropping and rolling, the tensing and flexing of their hands like retractable claws, and suddenly switches languages (English to Shadow Language) mid sentence. These are not repeated in a row and only last for seconds before Holly is able to control their movements again and gets back up to resume what she was doing before.
Holly's hallucinations are mild and few and far in between and almost never cause distress. The most common are visions of Shadow Shrikes wandering in the wild and disappearing behind trees, poles, buildings, etc. The only interaction these hallucinations have with Holly is that sometimes they will look up to glance at them before moving on.
The more severe and distressing hallucinations are even rarer. An auditory hallucination of a distant, long whistle above their head, a sound akin to something falling. This usually startles Holly into a physical episode of losing body control to jump up or drop down and roll. They never see anything in the sky when their head snaps up to look, though.
The second is a visual and auditory hallucination of a parliament of owls or an unkindness of ravens stalking Holly from a distance that appears to get closer with every glance. Upon closer inspection their faces and beaks are warped in uncanny, human expressions of anger and judgement. These hallucinations never seem to be violent but give off feelings of unease and malaise.
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Imagine if Gold in dcg au gets rescued by Chosen? The dcg are at the the fair (they begged to go) and they see a child in danger and beg Chosen to rescue them? So Chosen does, but they all have to leave immediately because their cover was blown.
well. it's bad for Chosen because people would probably think that they were trying to make things worse
HOWEVER i hope you know that by proximity to the others gold would become a giant fucking menace. gold is a nerd and as soon as they're allowed near yellow the two are going to create horrors
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Gold 🪽 He/they/neos
Otherkin 🪽 Fictionkin
Radqueer 🪽 Antis be nice
🪽 Ask for radqueer alterhuman server link 🪽
🪽 More below 🪽
Hello, my name is Gold. This is a sideblog so likes+follows will come from @ur-local-goldfish I'm not new to the otherkin community but I haven't been very active. This blog will be about my angel kintype. I currently am a guardian angel, though this kintype is new to me so I'll be figuring it out as I go.
As mentioned above I am radqueer, however this blog will not be about that. I won't say antis DNI for this blog, however if you're a jerk I will just block you without engaging. If I break your DNI please kindly let me know or just block me. I make mistakes sometimes and don't always check everyone's blog.
Other than that, I wish you all a good day, and enjoy your stay on my blog
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Why is juice in trunks… y’know what. Lemme move on.
Jay, baby. You look so handsome, my darling. I adore you. You’re perfect. Hate your friends. Keep doing what you’re doing, my love.
Also fuck that Pepsi bitch.
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;; honestly love the dichotomy of tfp scream and es scream in my head. tfp starscream in my brain is all drama and flair with his toxicity paired hand in hand with a Knifecat emoji. scheming and conniving the same way a black widow wearing one of those long, fluffy houserobes is.
then es starscream is (in his head) righteously angry. he still has that flare for the dramatic, but a lot of it is pettiness; if you're going to backstab him and the cause, then fine, he'll do it back to you, and he'll laugh in your face about it. he wants you to know exactly who's dragging you down and why exactly he's doing it. i imagine he's also more impulsive than tfp scream can be, much more emotionally driven (not to say tfp scream isn't emotionally driven, just that es scream is moreso).
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Tagged by @moonwaves-ao3! Thank you so much 💖
Rules - highlight what you like or what applies to you
hot shower or cold shower // texting or calling // earbuds or headphones // paperback or hardcover // matte or gel // 12 hour clock or 24 hour clock // blue or green // sunsets or sunrises // tulips or orchids // candle light or moonlight // sci-fi or horror // pen or pencil // pandas or koalas // gold or silver // sneakers or boots // denim jacket or leather jacket // pink or purple // chocolate or sour candy // deodorant or perfume // drive-in movie theater or the cinema // pastel colors or neutral earth tones // lemonade or fruit juice // past or future
Tagging: @absolut--kurant, @moonswounds, @kiwi-indomitus, and @wilhelm--fink 💖
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Clari: Do... I need to kneecap someone?
Maya: *Explains the thing*
Clari: Oh nvm he already got kneecapped
Maya: CLARI
Clari: I'M NOT WRONG
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