#no credit post bc they deactivated

[moonshynecybin]

IS it the same moment from a different angle though? same location yes, might be blind but he's wearing a jacket in one and not the other

screeeeech oh my god UR RIGHT. the background got me!!!!!!!!

down catastrophic. like. TWICE in one presscon? fr? and then you BETRAY HIM??

#humiliating you got meeeee. love you smooch #gif credit obvs deactivated queen repsol-ariel its linked in last post for anyone who wants it... #this is so funny i literally looked at it when i made the original post bc i remembered the facepalm from it and i dismissed it!!! #BUT the jacket!!!!! investigative journalism thank you <3 #callie speaks #motogp #asks #rosquez #if i were marc i would just float away on a happy little cloud. made vale facepalm laugh twice today... xoxo mr marc marquez rossi in diary

[rrcenic]

if they had tumblr on the lotf island simulator bc silly :))

🐚 thechief Follow

God I love him so much. Every time we kiss I feel so alive.

🔥 csharpmf Follow

cringe

🐚 thechief Follow

…this is literally about us

🔥 csharpmf Follow

OOOH FUCK I DIDNT READ THE USERNAME

#SORRY BABE OMFG #PLS FORGIVE ME WE CAN HAVE A PARTY W MY HUNTERS ON THE BEAJCH

(9 notes)

🦎 helloitssimon Follow

found a ton of these beautiful leaves and made a flower crown!!

🦎helloitssimon Follow

so. piggy has informed me that the rash on my arms and head is due to the posion ivy ive been wearing for a week.

#everything itches :,(

(23 notes)

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

Greetings and salutations! This is my first official Tumblr post. My name is Peter. I use primarily he/him pronouns but do not mind they/them.

If you’re a supporter of J*ck or The H*nters DNI!!! I am a Ralph supporter!!! You choir boys make me sick!!!

I have asthma and I am gay. If you insult me, or call me fat, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!!!

If you are anti-Ralph, I’m not afraid to call you out as the CONCHPHOBE you are!

Lastly: DO NOT CALL ME PIGGY. IT IS NOT MY NAME

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

lmaoooo kys piggy

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

#I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW #YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF #tw h*nters #tw conchphobia #tw j*cks tribe

(341 notes)

👬 sam-and-eric-the-twins-alt-account Follow

#we’re personally more ralph-leaning #but not picky

(15,326 notes)

🔳 mulberry-boy-deactivated

t hebeasty i know it’s there i lnow the hel p help theyre is a beastie pleas

😭 PercivalWemdeysMadison Follow

hey op are you ok

😭 PercivalWemdeysMadison Follow

OP WHAT DOES THIS MEAN PLEASE

#I AM AFRAID

(40k notes)

🤡 sillybillymaurice Follow

brooo my homies @xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx and @csharpmf were talking about their kill streaks and i said “do you play on an open server or a private world” and they just looked confused 😭😭😭 like bro did. were. were you not taking about minecraft????

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

🙂

🤡 sillybillymaurice Follow

girlie help?????

#ur so silly like wtf

(12 notes)

🔥 csharpmf Follow

bro check out this fire art i whipped up this afternoon 💪💪💪 nothin much just a quick doodle 💪💪💪

🐷 number1ralphstan Follow

Hey OP. Maybe do some research on famous art before attempting to plagiarize the Mona fucking Lisa. You disgusting credit thief.

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

maybe you should learn what a joke is lmao

(31k notes)

🐚 thechief Follow

This is your daily reminder to take care of yourself! Drink water and eat some pig! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT LET THE SIGNAL FIRE GO OUT!!!

🔥 csharpmf Follow

…i forgor

🐚 thechief Follow

ISTFG

#literally so pissed /srs

(2,176 notes)

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

i am #strong. i am #emo. i listen to #mychemicalromance. i am #dark

*lifts black hair off face, revealing black eyeshadow* i cannot feel love. i care about no one. because i am #EMO!!!! /srs

🦎 helloitssimon Follow

:(

🐺 xX_RogerTheHunter_Xx Follow

no!!! don’t be sad- *bites black lipstick covered lip and glances away* i… i love you

🦎helloitssimon Follow

:)

🐷 ralphsnumber1stan Follow

Oh my God. And you call ME cringe.

#no hate on Simon even though he’s a weirdo #but Roger is like a different breed of freaky #tw h*nters #tw j*cks tribe #tw conchphobia

(865 notes)

#this took way too long to make #nics stuff #lotf #lotf sim #lotf simulator #tumblr #tumblr simulator #silly #lord of the flies #jalph #jack merridew #simon lotf #roger lotf #ralph lotf #piggy lotf #maurice lotf #samneric lotf #rogermon #mullberry boy lotf #percival wemdeys madison #lotf meme #lotf shitpost #shitpost #poll

[tlpthys]

✧ icon template — app notif

by clicking the source, you can find a template inspired by mobile app notifications. jst bc they're fun ^__^

rules & notes:

likes & reblogs are appreciated but not expected!

edit to your liking, but do not post/claim as your own work!

this template is relatively user-friendly, but uses clipping masks. so if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out!

please let me know if you find any issues working with the template!

other credits: 

the font used is apple symbols.....closest one i cld find w/o having to pay for a license so if u use a diff one i obv will not be offended KJSHDFKJHSDFJK

coloring is by sofiascarson on tumblr...they deactivated so idk the name & can’t link to it </3

#dash icon #icon template #rp resources #rp template #template #heheh #mine.

[rweoutofthewoods]

My preferences regarding my account and fics

I want to put down what I allow regarding my fics all in one place, so I don't have to keep answering questions and reminding people. So here are some ground rules and things I prefer/appreciate when it comes to my account and work <333

(This is the most important one) Do NOT ask me to update anything. I have a busy life and I update as I please. Begging or bugging me is a surefire way to NOT get an update because I then don't want to out of spite

Do not repost my fics anywhere (wattpad, etc). DM me first if you're interested in creating translations, etc. but they have to stay on ao3 and link back to the original work.

Do not share quotes or screenshots of my fics if you don't credit me. Not on Twitter, not in edits, not on insta, tiktok, etc. Inlcude a link or my username and the work title or do not post it. Just like you should always give art credit, give writing credit too.

Don't ask me weird, invasive questions, in fact, stay out of my inbox if you're going to be weird or hateful. I won't answer you and you'll get an instant block.

Yes, you can bind my fics, but only for personal use.

My DMs and inbox is always open, if you want to DM me go ahead and don't apologize for it!

Please do not put my work on GoodReads or storygraph!! I don't like that and I will keep having them taken down.

You may not ever sell any products or make money off of my fics or my work! Don’t make me go through the effort of trying to get things removed, especially without even notifying me of it.

And some general FAQs

How often do you update? As god intends it. Usually once a week sometimes less sometimes more.

How do you write so much? It's just mental illness babe, I don't have any more of an explanation.

Where did x fic go? It's private. That's always the answer. They still exist, I might even go back to it one day but for some reason I wasn't happy with it and privated it, or maybe it's private bc people couldn't behave. Either way, whatever the fic is, it's not gone forever.

Did you deactivate your twitter? Probably! I do far too often because I hate it there, but it's also like watching a car wreck you can't look away. One day I'll leave for good. I'm trying to beat my addiction.

When will you update xyz? Don’t ask me that I don’t know. If I knew I’d post about it.

#I needed to make this to put in my masterlist #sorry it's so long #ily all <33

[helaem0nd]

Posting this here bc I’ve seen some people share or regurgitate ideas/information I’ve come up with or discovered without crediting me and I’ve yet to see anyone else discuss this. I did share this on Twitter shortly after discovering it but I’ve since deactivated my Twitter, though if necessary I can reactivate to show the original post.

A week or so ago, I was reading the official Targaryen family tree on HBO’s Hotd website and came across something I found interesting—in every description/bio where a COUPLE’S children are mentioned, the writers of these bios have used the words “have/has/had” except for both Helaena and Aegon’s bios which state that they “share” children.

Share and have in this context (or any tbh) are not synonymous, therefore I find it noteworthy that their bios are written this way. It could be absolutely nothing, it could be a hidden clue as shows and films have oftentimes left for audiences to uncover. Either way, I choose to believe this could be an indicator that Helaena’s children are not Aegon’s but are, in fact, Aemond’s. And that she and Aegon merely “share” the children in the legal sense.

I will also point out that “share” is also used to describe Rhaenyra’s relationship with Harwin Strong and that Rhaenys, Aemma, Laena, and Jaehaerys’ bios do not describe their children under the same circumstances, instead simply stating that they “mothered/fathered” them or are a “mother/father of” said children.

Again, only Helaena and Aegon’s supposed children are described in this manner.

#house of the dragon #helaena targaryen #helaemond #hotd #aemond targaryen #aegon ii #aegon ii targaryen #hotd theories #my hotd theories

[saleeba]

hello! do you know what happened with Rae (888bear)? I haven't been on tumblr for a while and just noticed she has deactivated her blog

hi lovely!! 💗💗 i personally don’t know what actually happened/if she said anything before leaving bc i was on hiatus myself b4 i came back & found her deactivated but this post basically clears everything up so all credits to op !! (literally searched 888bear to try & find an answer myself 😭)

#i miss rae a lottt tho her presence on this side of tumblr is super missed :(( #˗ˏˋ ✉️ ˎˊ˗ #anon

[mchi-art]

oh yea i drew her again btw :3

something id forgotten to mention in the first post (because id forgotten) was that the reason she had 4 tails in the first pic and then 6 in the second was bc between drawing those 2 pics my friend on deviantart at the time made fanart of her that depicted her with 6 and i really liked it so i stuck with it :3

i would credit the art, but they deactivated their acc and i dont know where i could find them nowadays ):

#they were super nice we both loved making ocs with a bunch of rainbows in thier designs :3 #oc #she has no name btw. lol #i am not known for being good at naming my ocs

[itty-bitty-mess]

NOT MY ART!!!

CREDIT:

@//ammazolie.tumblr.com (deactivated blog where it was originally posted)

@//boe-someone.tumblr.com (current blog! Go support their art!)

Link to a reblog of the original post: https://www.tumblr.com/grimmtheautisticcryptid/159358363924/wondered-what-itd-be-like-if-a-bunch-of-bittys?source=share

The original poster deactivated and I didn’t feel comfortable reblogging from bitty-lover blogs. I just wanted to repost this bc seeing an edgy get his ego immediately destroyed and getting berated nonstop is hilarious.

#not gonna maintag this one sorry #i dont really repost art but i didnt wanna interact with bitty lovers bc most are uncomfortable with bitty whump and i understand that #anyways the edgy’s last expression is priceless lol. the little asshole deserves to know he’s fucking disgusting #the adoption center should just throw him away lol. or use him to feed a snake or smth #at least that way he’d be useful #ugly and disgusting lil shit #text #edit: id prefer to not directly tag the artist’s current blog bc i dont wanna make them uncomfortable with this post or my blog

[thelonesomequeen]

I give AB a lot of credit for never posting her/CE’s intimate moments or even his dog. However - I just can’t understand how this seemingly low key girl would then post those shower pics. Or rather, film that and have it leaked out? I mean maybe she didn’t mean to leak them but none of it makes sense bc why did she even make that? Again - not judging per se but I’m so confused by her actions. Then her deactivating but showing up on twitter sort of clarifies she knew what she did. Idk.

I really struggle to believe posting that video was a mistake due to how many steps it takes to post an IG story. But it very well could have been an accident. We’ll never know for sure. If she wanted the attention of the fandom to deflect from her friend’s old tweets, I still think she could have posted something else that wasn’t quite so…drastic? Dropping hints that the two of them were together (example: a cleverly cropped photo from in his house that didn’t give too much away) would have been enough to send the fandom spiraling to figure things out. 🦎

[somuchyoudontknow]

“When we demanded proof that she knows him- well you see what happened . “

This is what she wrote on her blog if you did not have proof why was she a trusted source?

“She claimed she was reporting blogs like Maddy, ginger , papi (twitter) to Josh and they would removed - notice they’re not “

“She was very good at her manipulation and did it mostly over phone calls She is NOT and never was my main source or any of my friends’ . “

“I have called set people and my sources to gather more evidence against her statements and prove her to be completely false and scamming for money we suspect for a grandmother funeral who just passed . My friends have been scammed out of 3,000 dollars by her - we are trying to get it some of it back so I’m sorry that his PR stunt and why he deactivated is not gonna be at the top of our list to find out. We have our speculations and reached out to sources already for clarification.”

Again this system you have in place was it not available before ? Also I’m in high school and could tell this was a scam and you have a degree ?!?! You are lying and the holes do not add up

“I am going to get my screen shots of text messages between her and I posted as soon as I can - pls give me at least a day - it is a freakin holiday and it’s a lot. This is the best we can do to make amends . The reason we believed her at first is bc most of her shit at first MATCHED what our sources said. And since ours were a bit "Further out" from the man himself, we thought it was legit, until she started with the outrageous things.”

Bitch no one cares about screenshots You were in peoples inbox spewing emotional triggering things and saying things with no wherewithal of things and when people when against it and used common sense you blocked them…. At one point i asked for the lawyers information when I came to you wanting to help and you deflected Come to find out you know the lawyer !! So how many lawyers does Chris have

Listen if you wanna believe the story that sold the three stooges to run this scam go ahead but they ruined PR blogs Creditable all for money….

I am gonna say it again, let's not believe everything we read on the internet and let's not trust anyone including me.

And tbh let's make this clear too, no one has any sources to any celeb's team.

#fandom bs

[stellarspecter]

i don't understand why people post screenshots of other tumblr posts on here. i just saw a post that was a screenshot of another post, screenshotted from someone else's blog which i know bc they left the banner in, and then they captioned it "thanks to whoever posted this for this great advice." like. bro?? we KNOW who posted it. we can see exactly who posted it because you left TWO OTHER URLS in the screenshot that you could've credited. op may be deactivated but like you can still see who it was. and someone in the notes was like "this is great, can someone make a transcript?" IF YOU JUST REBLOGGED THE ORIGINAL POST YOU WOULDN'T NEED TO. BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY PLAIN TEXT. BY VIRTUE OF BEING A REGULAR POST. AAAAAAAAA

#it just baffles me #like ive seen the original post on my dash before!!! not super recently but like i know it was circulating!!! #are you desperate for clout that you have to spread knowledge in this shittier way?? #like clearly you had access to the original post bc you screenshotted it!!! whats the problem with reblogging!!! #what do you think this website is for!!!!! #*speaks

[nathank77]

4/28/24

6:32 a.m edited/added to

I gamed until like 4 a.m and I lost a 40 minute video that thank God I didn't save so I can redo it. I was online, sometimes I feel like I'm being sabotaged tbh.. but I'm not allowed to feel that way bc I have psychosis....

It's funny cause most of my best videos when I streamed on twitch would have, "muted audio," I'd have to appeal for copyright and other issues like disconnections and weird glitches. It's the reason I stopped streaming. It was a major problem and I lost many good videos bc of it.

And since I've been recording muted audio for copyright isn't an issue cause technically I can record American dad or something it would just need to be credited on YouTube.

Although I've been recording offline bc I feel like someone sabotages me. I forgot to go offline when i was recording that 40 minute video and bam the video disappeared. Funny how that works if I had saved I wouldn't be able to complete my chapter 5 playthrough of Bully bc it would have been missing 2 missions and I'm making videos chapter by chapter with all main and non-storyline missions complete.

I hate psychosis. I have to say it was just a mishap... but once I started recording offline I haven't had any issues.. I do feel sabotaged.

My trans channel is taking off. Getting hundreds of views a day and if one day that happens to my gaming channel I'll blow up with the quality of my content. Yet I can't believe that being online might be the reason.

I'm annoyed but at least I didn't save and can redo those two missions and piece together my whole playthrough of chapter 5.... I only have like 6 more missions before I can put it together and post the complete playthrough... I wish I could have finished it tonight.

Anyways, the shoes didn't fit any better but I still got to fuck with them a little but I might as well return them. I could use the money and loosening them doesn't seem to do anything...

Also do I believe elise is here? I can't bc of psychosis another reason i Hate it. I can't allow myself to be delusional at all. I need facts about everything..

Anyways- after I gave up on my video and decided to do it tomorrow, I changed all my, "made for kids," videos to adults as I lost that SH2 Maria video due to some uptight parent who reported it and I can't get it back. I have to remake it when I had 20 hours of view time on it... I'm not willing to risk losing any more videos to some stupid asshole of a parent. I work too hard on them between trying to be perfect and waiting hours to piece them together....

The only videos I left as made for kids was the minecraft video cause fuck it if someone reports it for some reason or another. It sucks cause made for kids can really get my views up but I can't lose another amazing video I make. I invested a good 10 hours in that Maria video and its fucking gone. I learned my lesson. Not to mention if I for example get one more community strike I'm not allowed to post any videos for a long time.

Anyways as I was adding tags to my new videos and changing my made for kids videos back to adults only, my hallucination was driving me fucking crazy. It was awful and tbh idk how much longer I can live like this.

If youre here Elise, I noticed something. When I tried to load your Instagram from my Mac it had that, "couldn't load page," thing.. then I tried from my phone and it was loading...

The night I thought you were deactivated as some sort of invitation, I checked many times on my Mac and then my phone. They both said couldn't load page.... and then when I made the post about it, 20 minutes later I could load your page.. so idk if I disrespected you...

I question everything, are you here? Did you really deactivate your account or was it something with safari/google/meta? I can't trust anything bc of psychosis. Until you reach out to me I'm going to write about you until I move on... and I'm going to have no idea if you're really here or not.

[blvckquill]

Now I can't be asked to change my header for like three reasons

That requires work to figure out what I'd want it to be

I'm actually quite attached to it bc it's a goofy ass quote I think about often

I'm not the best at editing lol

But I will say that I am quite content with the new icon :3

Flag credit

Note: I'm not the OP of the flag edits. Even though they've deactivated I still find it important to make that distinction so that way nobody gets confused. Like I said, I'm not the best at editing. You can click on the link to see the other flags that were originally part of that post. They're pretty neat and some of my favorite pride flag edits out there.

#baz.txt #*i am sorry for the boothill posting (<- lying. i am not sorry.) #*i do have a circle version but I'm not crazy about it since you can't see the top stripes #*at least with this one you kinda can

[run-on-dreams]

intro post

(intro post) (also there are flashing images under the cut)

hiii ^_^ u can call me lincoln or pierce or whatever u want tbh, im 18 y/o im a boygirl nd an emo and a furry an 1000000 other things besides. welcum to my blog i will be postin abt my interests and probably mostly reblogging cuz idc

also i have p-did so i am one of several alters (i am the host!) and the others might post or rb things here bc we still havnt made a system blog. most of us luv talking 2 ppl so dont be afraid to reach out or ask abt us we r cool with answering most questions B)

likes: emo stuff obviously, early 2000s stuff in general, music (my fav bands rn are ptv, mcr, mayday parade, hawthorne heights, blink182, ismfof, probably more but idk rn LOL) (also i leik hyperpop nd folk punk & dubstep but i dont have fav bands in those genres really), my gf <3, furry + otherkin stuff, dan & phil!!, reading, real and speculative biology (im a bio major ^_^), angels, werewolves, and like almost everything basically LOL

dislikes: idk mean people? injustice in the world? coffee? if i dont like something ill just tell u LOL dw abt it

fun factz: i write songs (lyrics) & i like to sing but the only instrument i can play is also saxophone (maybe i will post some of my songs here ehheheh), my main fursona is a moth but i also have 2 wolf sonas (1 is a sparkledog the other is just a guy), and uhhhhh hippopotamus milk is bright pink and thicker than water (i never said it was fun facts abt me!!)

ok thats it byeeeee hope u enjoyed reading my post nd looking at all my cool graphics (im pretty sure all these are free 2 use but lmk if not ill add credits) (bigender blinkie is by @/bedazzling-blinkies but i think they deactivated sad)

#can u tell what my fav colors are lol #no u cant cuz i also like purple!!!!!!!!!! gotchu suckers #waut theres purple in the ace blinkie shoot #oh well #also i ran out of space for inages </333 why can u only put 10

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

If anyone wonders how I find old Kazuichi fanart from like 5-10 years ago:

-if you see a reblog of some old art you like, go to the op's blog (if they're not deactivated) and search the tag for more of their art (btw most artists love it when people reblog their old work! Dont be afraid!)

-go to their blog from that reblog and search/scroll that tag. Sometimes tumblr glitches and says there's nothing there. Sometimes you can click on the tag from the reblogged art and find more there, sometimes it wont work? Tumblr is weird like that.

-I search "Kazuichi", if that doesnt work then "Souda", and then "Soda" (mixed bag of having posts with the drink soda popping up)

-look at the reblogs on a Danganronpa fanart, you'll have the best luck if it's Kazuichi-centered fanart, if it was reblogged years ago, and/or if the user tagged it with a specific tag they made for Kazuichi implying that they regularly reblog Kazuichi

-if you hit a dead end, repeat for another piece of fanart, the older the better bc then you find blogs that may not have touched this fandom in years (or have just been in the fandom for years lol)

-important: treat every piece of fanart like the poster could delete their blog and you are preserving their work (and also sharing it for other current fans to see!)

-that being said, try to avoid reblogging a post where the person stole/reposted someone's art (if it has a link at the bottom then it's usually not stolen, I just mean collages of fanart clearly from multiple artists that dont credit them. Dont sweat it if you didnt know or have trouble identifying stolen art, we all make mistakes, it's just something to note.)

#fandoms #how to find old art #danganronpa #kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda

[aspacetobe]

Hello!

I’m sitting on some bench in the MSP airport drinking a Mighty Mango Naked juice. Just chugged some OJ. And I have a White Mocha from Starbucks within reach. I feel by the time I get to consuming the Starbucks it’ll be lukewarm. and then when i board the plane in 30 minutes i’ll have to pee like a pregnant lady with no time to wait. But we’ll reach that point when we reach that point. (update: my bladder was tested. the minute that ding came on overhead letting you know the plane has reached 10,000 feet i was that person who shot up from their seat. and i can’t wait until we land bc the first stop is the bathroom.)

I should also explain I’m traveling for 3 months (that’s the max because of the whole 90 days without a visa thing) or, whenever my savings hits $0.

i’m shooting for the stars and hoping the 90 days comes before i run out of money.

why tumblr?

a part of me wants to shrug and say idk instead of explaining my thought process. i’m self conscious that it’s too over the top for explaining one’s presence or lack there of on a certain social media app.

why does it matter that much?

it doesn’t.

yet, i’m still here, proceeding to pour out my entire mind without much of a filter.

my relationship with instagram tends to go as follows: posting stories every day. feel annoying. deactivate my account. feel great. download instagram again. share everything. feel insecure. deactivate instagram.

horrible cycle.

lately it got worse.

it got worse after i started liking a guy.

lol.

classic.

so yeah.

i like said guy a lot.

but i’m headed to Europe.

And for three months.

And...

timing just isn’t right.

and…

i don’t seem to have the patience for anything not serious.

i wish i had the patience.

the lack of my patience has come from my insecurities. has come from me not wanting to confront why i’m feeling the way i’m feeling. why i’d rather run away than just wait and see what will happen (which is probably that whole anxious avoidant thing i’ve been labeled with). why, at the first sign of a possible (guys possible) i don’t know what to call it, communication issues (?), i say bye. instead of just, ya know, seeing how life plays out. although, i will give myself credit and say i tried.

and i did feel serious about him. like, he feels like home. this feels right. this feels comfortable. this feels like i can be myself. this feels like someone i want to share life with.

i just gathered after 5 months, serious isn’t what anyone is looking for right now. i even said something along the lines of “i want to feel free” while in europe. so there’s that.

i could be wrong but that’s what i felt.

and, if i did have one thing to be confident in, it is my ability to read emotions & body language. i’m hyper vigilant to other peoples subtle ques. and thus, when in person i picked up on a few things.

at this point, the only information i have is what i’ve been told and what i feel. and as best as I try not to assume, i just have to take what i know and proceed.

i’m just hoping there is an us in the future. that sometime in the future there’s still a possibility.

so…

i like a guy. i post on instagram. i check who’s viewed it. look for one name. cringe at myself. delete the app from my phone. wait 24 hrs until stories expire. search ‘instagram’ in the app store. download the app again.

rinse. repeat.

and that cycle increased in rotation exponentially over the last month. exhausting. really emotionally exhausting. and i hated myself for it every time.

when i got down to the nitty gritty of my emotional psychology as to why i’m in that cycle, I came to the conclusion that i was trying to be seen. and a want to be seen, for me, is an example of outsourcing validation. and the only person who can truly validate me is me.

I also get really insecure about being annoying on instagram. another shadow that needs to be worked through. if someone finds me annoying that’s okay. I don’t need to shrink or hide or not share for fear of what others might think. that’s really on them to control their input of information on social media. not for me to limit who i am as a person for the comfort of others. i’m not in charge of someone else’s comfort. i’m only in charge of my own. as of this point in my life, i am my only priority. and that’s who i want to focus on.

i’ve worked really hard over the past 3 years to get to a balanced & healthy mental space.

the past few months were honestly great because it was a clear mirror to the spaces and places within myself i needed to work through. especially the issues i suppressed for the past 10 years that had resurfaced. and i’ve worked through them (with and without a therapist) and will continue to work through them. i was /am ready to let it all go. and i did, for the most part.

so, with all the above in mind, i’ve been wanting to deactivate my account again but instagram is a wonderful place to connect with my family and friends around the world. i was a bit unsure of what to do.

when i was parting from my friend Katie on the 4th, she said, ‘go crazy with the stories on instagram!’ and my heart sank because i didn’t want to. and she’s not the only person who’s said something along the lines of, ‘i can’t wait to see your stories.’ so when i told her i don’t think i’ll be on instagram she immediately came up with a couple alternatives, ‘what about a tumblr or vsco?!’

i perked up. tumblr.

tumblr i know is an easy space to post all forms of media. i can make it password protected (i mean, i was hoping). and i can’t see who views it (and if there is a feature on here where you can, i don’t wanna know about it).

and so became this tumblr.

i’m excited about it. i can post my lengthy writings in addition to pictures & videos.

and the point of this trip, well, one of the points is to write.

the perfect space.

a space to be 100% me.

and now i’m sitting at JFK really hungry but don’t wanna spend money, 1 hour into my 8.5 hr layover.

but i should get food. bc 8 hrs is a lonnnnng time.

xx