#no I don't think it sucks

[raveartts]

gonna take a break and make another sketch page later :3

#raveartts #hazbin hotel #alastor #i have like. 3-4 more screenshots i wanna redraw to practice #and then i guess i gotta think of a cool idea to draw him in #he's actually quite satisfying to draw once i actually...don't suck at it 😍 #i really love this man. like i saw him in the pilot and i knew he had potential if he got the necessary screentime #and they SERVED alastor to me on a gourmet plate <3 #and he's still got potential for season 2 as he's easily the most mysterious character #i literally just watch this show for him pretty much- #he's like the daniel of hazbin for me #though i like camp camp as whole actually but oh well. hazbin ain't terrible either

[sergle]

What's wrong with lexapro? I ask as a fellow lexapro user.

I like that you're asking me what's wrong w lexapro like it's Problematic and not like it just has a very negative impact on me

#it sucks bc it makes me feel bad JHFDHJDGFHJ there's... I don't know what kind of answer you wanted #sergle answers #I say it sucks bc I think it sucks #what's wrong abt it is that it doesn't work inside my brain chemistry and it makes me want to float down a river facedown

[jiiyawns]

yeah im normal. im very normal. so normal. shadow prime amirite guys

i like this one the most so close up (ironically, this is the color palette i was the most scared to deal with bc i don't usually use greens)

#sonic #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic prime #he's such a bastard and for what #smug bitch. he's literally 3 feet tall. im going to push him off the ark again #i think i like. i had a whole plan on how to do the bottom rectangle/i literally drew it first. but. #i think if i lineart something seriously. i lose the ability to color it the way i was planning. or something #visualized it completely and then just like it evaporated i don't know where the fuck the thought went it's gone??? #so now i think that coloring fucking sucks ass actually but i don't want to work on it any longer bc im like shaking my brain #and ic an't find the original THOUGHTS i HAD where did it GO i was COOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways. hi #fanart #draw

[uncanny-tranny]

Good news! You aren't required to make your hobbies and passions "marketable." In fact, your crafts, hobbies, and passions don't even need to be public if you so choose. You don't have to spend all of your energy becoming perfect if you aren't enjoying the process. You are not a product, you are a person, a creative, and your work also does not need to be a product.

#positivity #yet another post that's like... thinnly-veiled as being for myself #i find myself freezing with anxiety when i think about the things i used to do (writing especially) because... #...i had felt this force to make it ~content~ and ~marketable to an audience~ and it was so fucking daunting... #...it felt like being a gladiator in a coliseum #even now i fight the urge to equate being marketable to being acceptable and worthy of admiration and praise #i wish i hadn't burnt myself out of writing by doing this because i'm simultaneously grieving my writing and hating it #and it sucks the life out of what makes you feel like a person and it takes the art out of art #so be free! pist your art or don't! you are beholden to nobody!!! #(obviously this is not the case for professional artists who rely on their art to keep them alive) #(and i criticize heavily the idea that audiences are entitled to an artists labour) #(i understand that this isn't universal and if it doesn't apply to you then you don't have to take me seriously) #(if you are a professional artist or what have you i hope you are able to feed and house yourself off of that career!) #(i hope you are able to live a happy life and be able to keep loving what you're doing)

[callisteios]

I have a new uquiz for you, go on a pilgrimage with me. discover who you are.

#don't you want to go on a nice medieval pilgrimage? #don't you want to rest a little? answer some questions? learn something about yourself? #this was originally a pentiment medieval quiz and now it's this #it's pretty good imo though. i had a lot of fun researching it #yes there really is a biblio. ill write it up soon but its parts of the pentiment biblio plus some stuff i found myself #really thank you to everyone who made pentiment. you know how sometimes you find a piece of art at exactly the right time? #well i discovered pentiment just as my interests perfectly intersected with it. (those interests being history historiography and grief) #have fun etc. tag your results #that's always great #quiz #uquiz #pentiment #medieval #mine #sorry for being absent for a bit. holidays kind of suck #sorry abbie i couldnt fit the saw bathroom in thisone. i couldn't think of a way to do it naturally #i listened to SAVED! and SINNER GET READY the entire time i was writing this so yeah there's a ref. sue me

[beatcroc]

there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gustavo and brick #arting #pizzaposting #so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that #and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it #not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow. #he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT! #since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine #he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)' #so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you' #and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to #who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower #making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to.... #it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative. #thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino #i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now #nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact #he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that #and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine #is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf #gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man. #anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo #pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here #''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy. #gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything. #if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''

[somegrumpynerd]

It's interesting to think about how, to me at least, Dust and Killer are like mirror versions of each other.

One who joins a villain enthusiastically, jumps at the chance to leave his past behind and have a purpose again, and the other who has to be dragged in, would rather rot in the consequences of his own actions.

One who needs orders, needs the distraction and the action and the thrill, can't sit alone with his thoughts for too long lest he hear them clearly, and the other who can't bring himself to ignore the ghost over his shoulder, would rather sit in place and listen to his own self loathing parroted back at him than stand up and find a way to drown it out.

One who doesn't associate with his past anymore, that wasn't me and I wasn't him, and cannot stand the thought of going back from where he came, and the other who wants nothing more than to be his old self again but feels so strongly that he doesn't deserve to return to the life he tore down himself.

They both wear their new names like dog collars, but one is a gift given by someone else because he's theirs, he has somewhere he belongs that he's expected to return to, and the other is a choker tying him to a post, warning others of his danger while never allowing him to get out of arm's reach of his past.

And getting them both back-to-back while trying to understand mortals was probably enough to give Nightmare whiplash

#UTDR #UTMV #He kind of expected when picking up Dust that because they were so similar they would get along #And boy did he have a big storm coming #I don't think he and Dream ever fought that much as kids #I feel like they were relatively nice happy brothers for the most part #And having Dust and Killer in the castle together was eye opening #Not that they would have been considered brothers at that point but y'know #Anyway it's day 4 of my week off and I still have absolutely no motivation to draw which sucks #But I am working through cross stitching the lil pixel versions of everybody so that's nice #Also I'm not main tagging this because some people have very strong opinions about the characterisation of these two #and I know I'm doing it wrong just to have fun so

[automatonknight]

id: a digital drawing of miss pauling from team fortress two. it shows her from about the hips up. she's posed with her hands apart, raised at shoulder-level. between them, there are a bunch of colorful dice and simple figurines floating in an arc. miss pauling is looking off to the right with a smile. she's wearing a tophat with a busted top, there's an eye visible inside it, the hat also has a ghost ornament attached to it, a purple suit and a white shirt with a black tie. the background is black with purple silhouettes of ghosts and strands of smoke. end id

#i loveee her dungeon master outfit she looks SO handsome :3 #aaand i love the comic too. the fucking brain pumpkin...... #the background kinda sucks but um. well i don't know how to fix it so who careeees. blaaah #i'm proud of everything else though i think it looks really good 👍 #art #fanart #tf2 #team fortress 2 #miss pauling #miss pauling tf2

[recreationalfanfics]

Hello, I really love how you seem to have such a good read on RoR characters! Kinda shy asking this because I swore I read Record of Ragnarok for the action and backstories but it’s hard to contain my simping…. (๑꒪̇⌄꒪̇๑)

May I request some headcanons for Poseidon x a shy but kind human fem!MC? The idea I had in mind was that some thousands of years ago, Aphrodite, annoyed with Poseidon’s indifference to her charms, “cursed” him with a soulmate. This soulmate turned out to be MC who wasn’t even born yet back then. The plot will take place sometime before the actual human vs. gods battles start, so maybe during some preparation period where they’re setting up the stadium and all that? During this period, the human audience had already been “teleported” there (I don’t think they ever elaborated on how the humans all just end up watching the ragnarok) MC is one of these humans and coincidentally happened upon Poseidon during her stay. Of course, the soulmate stuff won’t magically make Poseidon have a complete change on humankind, but I was hoping he’d gradually soften up to her even if he won’t admit it.

As for what kind of soulmate AU, maybe the type where the first words your soulmate says to you is inscribed somewhere on your body? I think it’ll be fun to have her say something to him, he realizes but doesn’t say anything back so she just doesn’t know until much later.

Hopefully this isn’t too detailed or convoluted (๑•́‧̫•̀๑) And thank you so much in advance if you decide to write this! And if it’s not too much to ask, please don’t kill off Poseidon, but I also don’t want Sasaki to die either… maybe Poseidon will choose to forfeit (after fighting at first) because his soulmate is amongst the humans that will be eliminated if gods win? •ू(ᵒ̴̶̷᷄ωᵒ̴̶̷᷅*•ू) )੭ु⁾⁾

THIS REQUEST IS SO CUTE OMG!? I'M MORE THAN HAPPY TO WRITE THIS FOR YOU BUT ALSO, UR SO VALID FOR WANTING NIETHER OF THEM TO DIE, IDK WHY BUT THIS ANIME MAKES ME ATTATCHED TO BOTH THE GODS AND THE HUMANS-

Either way, I hope I did well, this was my first time writing for Poseidon!

- Consider how vain these two can be sometimes, it's only natural that they would butt heads often but when Poseidon dared to claim that Aphrodite truth wasn't as fair as she claimed herself- no, that she KNEW herself to be- she just couldn't allow this injustice to stand.

- He cherished absolutely nothing, he appreciated absolutely nothing. So she took it upon herself to change that. After all, it was HER who was the Goddess of Love. So she decided to pull a little trick

- Now, lets flashforward (to modern? ancient? Idk, man, heaven time??) and Poseidon has been summoned to his match. A match he felt was pointless but, whatever, who was he to deny his brother?

- Gracing the God's hall and going to his room to prepare and shield himself from sharing the same air as humans; imagine his surprise when he sees you.

- You're pathetic. Skittish, looking around like a confused mutt, and looking as disgusting as the rest of your kind. He knows your human alone and he's offended that you had the AUDACTIY to walk INTO THE AREA WHERE THE GOD'S RESIDE, AND EVEN STAND IN FRONT OF HIS DOOR.

- In reality, you weren't trying to piss anyone off. You had gotten separated from the rest of the humans and accidentally found yourself in a part of the arena you weren't familiar with.

- You were so relieved when you looked and saw another person in the hallway with you! Maybe you could ask them for directions. Poseidon did not know why you were approaching him so casually but he did NOT like it, like, AT ALL.

- Since your soulmates, maybe the reason why you don't feel his threatening aura like other gods and humans do is because some part of you just can't find it in you to fear him. He takes this as a sign of disrespect.

- You do feel anxious, however, he was such an attractive man but he absolutely did not look pleased to see you and you assumed he was just having a bad day.

- "H-Hello, I don't mean to trouble you!" You call out, your voice quiet and filled with uncertainty.

- He narrows his eyes at you, absolutely enraged by the idea of you approaching him so casually. You filthy little worm, he should destroy right-

- But then he takes a look at his wrist, he doesn't know why he does, a subconscious decision perhaps. But he side eyes you...odd, he makes sure to check his wrist. Oh well, he may as well grant you a few seconds of life.

- Then he checks his wrist and sees that the very first words you said to him...were on it. He looks from his wrist to you, who has no idea what's going on and honestly just wanted to find a way out of this big hallway.

- "U-Um, sir? I-I'm sorry, but do you know the way out?"

- He merely narrows his eyes at you before summoning his trident into his hands and thats when you realize; you're standing before a God. He says nothing to you and you instantly want to apologize but before you could, he just points in his trident into the direction he came from.

- You look at him, scared and confused, and he continues to stare at you with cold eyes. When he doesn't say or do anything for a few minutes you finally realized he was pointing the direction out.

- You apologize for the trouble and run like hell, his gaze following you.

- He observes you closely after that, believing this may be some kind of mistake. Thats why he didn't say anything to you, because a part of him was nervous. But he was mostly angry.

- It showed by when he barged into Aphrodite's room to DEMAND her what trickery she had stuped too and to undo it, she just smiles slyly and asks him: "What trickery?~"

- After some frustrating interrogation that goes NOWHERE...he finds himself staring at you quiet often, the mortals all cowering in fear when they feel his divine prescence. Not you, though, you never seem to notice him until you follow their stares and see his cold eyes, staring you down like you were gum under his new shoes.

- It's a very odd exchange, overall. Everyday, he'd show up at the most random of times and causing a stir among everyone else but yourself. Sometimes it'd even be multiple visits a day. Either way it confused you because the matches hadn't even started and already, you had somehow invoked a God's wrath.

- At least, that's what you thought at first until you noticed that he never did anything to really threaten your safety. Yes, watching you was a bit odd, but you find that you aren't really all that nervous about it anymore. Especially since with every visit, you believe that his gaze softens when they're set upon you.

- He kept his distance at first but then, once you started to take notice of him, you'd offer him to sit next to you as you sat in the beautiful fields that surrounded the arena or would be reading in one of the vast nearby libraries. Originally he would just walk away and as time went on he slowly began to warm up to you.

- Like a cat. tbh.

- He couldn't help it, at least, it FELT like he couldn't help it. He didn't know if it was your bond as soulmates, the unyielding kindness that he originally saw as foolish and niave, or overall just your quiet nature until you saw your friends.

- Either way, the more he began to see you, the more he could look past your flaws (which was being a human) and start to appreciate the things about you the made you beautiful.

- Don't get me wrong, he was definetly in denial for the longest time so he would kinda start off with small things. Like it goes from: "Oh, at least they bowed their head to my statue, thats a redeemable quality, at least." to "She is the epitome of perfection♡"

- You wouldn't really ever know that Poseidon's feelings towards you have grown, he hides it very well behind that stoic face that he wears and he hasn't even really spoken to you, yet. He doesn't know why but he feels like...the time isn't right. Despite his growing feelings, he truly isn't ready to accept a human as his soulmate yet.

- You just assumed he didn't talk much so you never pushed him too. Yeah, it mightve been a bit awkward at first but you appreciated his prescence, it brought you a new sense of comfort and peace that you never felt, not even when you were alive.

- When you made flower crowns in the gardens, you'd ask if you could decorate his trident for him and he gave you a deadpan stare before nodding his head in approval. He'd silently gesture you to follow him and show you a private pool whenever a say seemed a bit too hot for you and watch as you played in it, a soft smile growing on his face.

- He would even feel a bit of anger when he was with his fellow gods, listening to them generalize their hatred towards humanity. Usually Poseidon would join them but he couldn't bring himself too. After all, humanity was pesky and troublesome but some of them weren't that bad.

- They could be sweet, they could be unfailingly kindhearted and empathetic...They could be you. So he'd just glare distastefully but never say anything, but he didn't need to as everyone slowly stopped talking after sensing they somehow upset him.

- He spent a lot of his time with you during the days that led up to his match, you were unsure of who to root for; since it's true that humanity would be wiped out if the God's continued to win but at the same time, you didn't want to see Poseidon get hurt.

- He picked you out from the crowd immediately and made eye contact with you, not even acknowledging his opponent as he stepped into the ring.

- Did he still look down on humanity? Yes. But...he supposed there were some good aspects to it. Good aspects like you.

- As the mythical creatures and gods from his side cheered him on, shouting insults towards the humans, and telling him to destroy them like the ants they were: his eyes were locked on your (e/c) eyes before he finally made a decision. Internally, he had just lost a battle within himself in that moment...but he wasn't upset about it.

- So he interrupts Heimdall's introduction speeches as he addresses the whole crowd, "I FORFIET THIS MATCH!"

- Shock and bafflement was all that could be heard from both sides of the arena. They couldn't have possibly heard him right, though, after all: He was Poseidon, the beautiful God of the Sea, there was no way he would just-

- Then he looked at you and your heart leapt at hearing his voice for the first time. His eyes became gentle as they stared into yours, "I will fight for humanity. For some of you are worthy yet."

- You didn't respond for a bit, not noticing how the words "I will fight for humanity" appeared on your wrist, but he did. And he knew that even if Aphrodite had "cursed" him, that it truly didn't bother him. You were made for him. His perfect mortal♡

- This was only proven when you broke out of your shocked trance faster than anyone and cheered his name happily, your shyness lost as you joyfully cheered his name, causing him to visibly smile in front of everyone.

#ror x reader #snv x reader #record of ragnarok x reader #ALSO DO YOU THINK THAT WHEN THE HUMANS ARE SUMMONED TO WATCH THE BATTLES- #THAT'S IT'D KINDA LIKE JURY DUTY?? #EXCEPT IT'S JUDT MORE FUN AND IT'S FINE IF YOU KNOW RHE PERSON??? #LIKE THEY'RE CHILLING IN HEAVEN AND THEY GET A LETTER. #Some random human jn heaven: Sorry guys I can't. I've gotta watch the next Ragnarok match. #Their friend: Aw man that sucks- #Random human in heaven: Nah I don't think so. I think it's gonna be sick af- #record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie #Poseidon x reader #snv poseidon x reader #ror poseidon #ror poseidon x reader #poseidon x reader snv #poseidon x reader ror #HOPE YOU LIKE THIS I TRIED TO MAKE IT SUPER LONG BC I LOVED THIS PROMPT.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

the loneliness and sadness that creeps into you in a way that only growing up queer can cause. your parents can accept you and still make you feel like an outsider. your parents can love you and still reject parts of you. that old-fashioned kind of love where they think trying to mold you, make you tough, is better for you. or that quiet status quo where you just don't talk. and where everyone is accepted, though some are more than others. generations and generations it's just been easier to let it slide. to let it be. not cause a fuss. but then we sit there with a knot in our chests all our lives wondering how it got there

#this is about #all of us strangers #ofc your experience of a piece of media is molded by your own perspective #and i have been thinking a lot about growing up queer and how it still fucking sucked #for me. ten. twenty years ago. fuck it even five years ago #it still sometimes sucks #because i was raised without any queer representation around me #i was trained to be straight and to desire straightness #and anything remotely queer was mocked and bullied and judged #i saw it done by others and done to others so much that it's hardly surprising i did everything i could to Not be that #and the fact that i had to grow up that way #and that i still wouldn't feel at ease bringing a partner to a family event #makes my heart ache so much #i am often on my own and going home doesn't bring me comfort #it's like harry describes #it's just how it went #my parents didn't mean to make it like that #my mom even thinks it's sad #but she doesn't understand how it came to be #and i don't know if i can turn it around #adam's imaginings of how his parents envelop him with love and acceptance in the end #was a dream #but a painful one #a dream where your parents suddenly say all the right things #and for him they only did so bc they're dead and he could imagine whatever he wanted #/and still/ he imagined his mom rejecting his sexuality at first #literally so disgusted she can't drink her tea #oooooofofffffff....... #i need to think some more #my posts

[maybe-horny]

My kink is wanting to know everything about you.

#maybe #from u favorite #to ur childhood trauma u want to share with me #But sadly people don't give information about themselves 24/7 #yes I want to know what u did today and all the details #its freaky if I take notes about it? #its just that my memory sucks but I want to keep that information #and I don't want to be annoying making a bunch of questions #and if u will give one half heart answer I prefer not to know #I think that's kinda a red flag but the good part is that I leave all the notes to myself

[starflungwaddledee]

@moonverc3x you know what they say, intent is nine tenths of the law! (they don't say this)

#these tags made me laugh so i had to draw this Immediately. #begging and pleading and hoping i've characterised j correctly here. she just seems like she would. #anyway yes it really would probably be that simple #so long as she perceives that you're Being Nice to her you could get away with anything really. #that said i don't think this would feel particularly good for her which is why she was crying first. she's sturdy but not pain-exempt #but!! if it's a game!! then it must be good!! so she'll suck it up to participate!!! like eating which also feels Not Great but she does it #my art #others ocs #starstruck dee

[uncanny-tranny]

So often, twink death is framed as a bad thing. However, the "twink death" for trans men* is frankly one of the most healing things you will bear witness to (pun intended).

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #honestly i hated being called a twink pre-t because so many people treated me like... lesser for it? #like... 'i think you are effeminate (and less of a man)... but i /guess/ you're still a man🙄! hope that helps' is how it sounded to me #and so often it seems like 'twink death' is just... fear of aging in a world that hates the realoties of the human body #i have compassion for the fear of aging however it will pretty much always be harmful to the person experiencing it... #...in that they too will age. no matter what you do to prevent aging it will still happen... #...i don't think fear is the fault of the individual - it's a systemic issue. however i think it's needless suffering... #...you certainly do not have to /like/ aging and it can truly suck at times. i just want people to think about why they fear it y'know? #anyway that's what i think motivates this apprehensive attitude about people and how they change and whatnot #though my twink death isn't me becoming a bear (in the future who knows but for now not so much)

[front-facing-pokemon]

#okay further out version under the cut and i'm sorry in advance bruxish fans but i actually think this might be #the worst pokémon of all time #i think a lot of pokémon i can like. i'm fine with looking at them even if i don't like them. but this thing? i hate looking at it #like i really want to look. away. when i see this thing #bruxish #maybe i'll be proven wrong in that another pokémon is worse but i will not be proven wrong that this thing is good in any way #it sucks. it sucks so bad

[icewindandboringhorror]

#cats #outing myself once again as someone whos not attune whatsoever to human culture but - in all honesty I do not know #what 'psspsspss' means despite loving cats my entire life hghj.. I've just seen people online describe that as how you call a cat #but I have never in my life witnessed someone call a cat by making that noise or made that noise myself. I can't even think of an example o #it so I genuinely don't even know what that's supposed to be but. Included because I've seen it so much it must be something to someone #even when I was a kid I pretty much always just meowed to cats and tried to sound exactly like them or whatever meow I associated with them #obviously not literally saying “ME OW” but doing an actual cat meow. often times a kind of 'prrrow' sort of noise where you trill your tong #ue then lead into a softer vocal tone .. maybe like 'mrrrrauh' or something? Or sometimes just a trilling chirp immitating the #cat's ''mrrrrp'' they do sometimes. I used to mimic small kittens to get the attention of cats #with their like very high pitches squeky whine with a little bit of air out the nostrils at the end to imitate the sound of them having #tiny lungs that don't hold much air so with a long loud 'mew' it's sometimes a little strained near the end #Though usually I just imitate the cat that I'm around at the time. Sometimes I have done kind of a combination kissy lip sort of noise #tongue clicking. almost like tapping on the back of your front teeth with your tongue and sucking in. almost makes kind of a squirrel noise #ANYWAY... curiouse....

[six-white-venus]

the mundanity of my grief disgusts me.

i go to class late every day and no one knows i'm rotting inside. the sun burns my skin and all i do is sigh because i forgot to bring money for a cab. a scream is forever stuck in my throat; stuck and never let out because that would be considered a public nuisance. my mom asks me what i want and what i want is a break but what I tell her is "anything but dosa" because that's the answer she wants to hear. your emotions are valid but they must be kept under tight wraps from 9am-5pm, 'cause it's important you stay sane during work hours. i sit cross-legged in my ratty sweatpants and write poetry and the hypocrisy of it sickens me to no end because ultimately i don't care as much as i should about the things i write. no, all i can think of is that i need to stop and start studying plant physiology. you can write odes and ballads about decay and call autumn the season of fallen angels but you still won't spare a glance at the pile of dried leaves on the side of the road because you can't be late to work.

you're sad but it's not hip or cool or pretty or even significant. i keep looking at the clock when i break down because I can't waste more than 30 minutes on this, that's plenty of time to wrap up all my drama and prepare for tomorrow's paper presentation. no one gives a fuck about your day but they should. it should be on the goddamn news, broadcasted on every channel because it's your day. a whole day. a day of your life, your world, your everything. no one cares but they should. but does it really matter, being on the news? no one watches the news anyway. oh look, you're out of groceries. you miss your mom's cooking. you seem to have a permanent headache these days and think of calling your uncle because he's a doctor. was. was a doctor. he's dead now. right. you're still out of groceries. wake, sleep, rinse, repeat.

the mundanity of my grief disgusts me. can someone burn down this world? i'd do it myself, but i have an exam this thursday.

#fellas poetry is hard when your life is monotonous as hell #you can't even be sad in a creative way #don't think i'm romanticizing grief btw sad sucks in all versions #im just saying this particular flavour sucks ass #wow i sure am an eloquent poet #my writing #prose poetry #words #writeblr #prose #grief #monotony #time