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#newsflash she cannot go back to where she came from

vidalinav · 3 years

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I sometimes think it’s funny that it’s very common fandom idea that Feyre and Nesta and Elain will never truly understand each other or get along, when before acofas (the worst rated book that SJM has, the disaster that truly should have foreshadowed the inevitable) it literally was not a problem.

I’m telling you it was NOT THAT BAD. There was nothing that Feyre did that Nesta and Elain did not “pay” for in helping Feyre’s family by inviting them in their home and then turning fae and then helping in a way however they could, and before that by just the genuineness that was shown first by Nesta who tried to get Feyre back which Feyre acknowledges and Elain genuinely wanting to help Feyre when she asks. And something that I feel that the some parts of the fandom and SJM in her narrative decisions, don’t seem to understand, is that family doesn’t do things so that it can be held over the others forever. That’s counterintuitive to the idea of family. It’s almost laughable. You cannot equally say Feyre is this morally “good” person and then have every person associated with her try to avenge them on her behalf. If Feyre is a morally “good” person than she wouldn’t feel that anyone would owe her, and she doesn’t. That has never been her stance.

The only reason we have a big gap between Feyre and Nesta is not because of the Feyre hunted blah blah blah, it’s because Nesta was in pain which somehow got skewed into Nesta has done wrong all her life and when she’s in pain she’s still wrong. Thinking it’s only because of Nesta’s attitude or her past is ignoring three whole books! They have a perfectly good working relationship at the end of ACOWAR. I personally did not think this meant let’s go back to book fucking 1 and the only reason we go back there is not even necessarily to make Nesta examine her life prior to acotar (because news flash that doesn’t happen but for like two full pages in the book if you add it all together), it’s because the other characters who are not Feyre can’t seem to let it go. I have to presume this because Feyre was also in the book for like... two whole pages and she did not voice any issue on that front AT ALL. Nesta thinking that people are siding with Feyre is... (newsflash) correct. They’re Feyre’s friends. They have since shown no want for her, and if they’re not verbally antagonistic, they just don’t involve her or get to know her past trivialities. Which is fine, except when you cross into verbal antagonism. But this has nothing to do with Feyre and Nesta, why it even seemed like it was a waste of space that could have been filled with ACTUAL Nesta and Feyre moments that concretely solidified a stance of “you’re my sister” instead of this baby plot that was “we’re even,” at best, or “I’ve now done something that you will never be able to repay” because that’s what you get by highlighting Nesta “owing” something and not emphasizing the actual love between sisters.

Now, Elain having a problem is because she is also in pain, but it makes less sense because in order to justify her actions, I have to ignore her established personality traits, her hypocrisy, and the literal FACTS of the book, while at the same time not knowing who the hell she is or what she wants. She should be in pain, that’s valid, but does it make sense that her pain is only shown by not being around (which is also the reason she is basically irrelevant and we know almost nothing about her, which has quite literally followed her through this series, since she has very little development) and her sister (singular) issue, who she has not seen in a year? NO.

It’s a narrative decision. Personally I feel it is a bad narrative decision, because it looks right now like there is no solution except to cut their losses. That would be easier, that would be the most realistic decision, because there have been virtually no meaningful scenes that are not the most dramatic shit I’ve ever seen. Right now, it looks like none of these sisters will ever get along even though they did for three whole books mildly and realistically well. And if there is a solution it’s going to be one that seems pretty odd and came out of nowhere, because it could have just continued from acowar in a slower, more reasonable way and skipped over all of the conflict that didn’t result in ANYTHING. Because the problem was NOT in their relationship, but in their individual traumas that may affect their relationships. It is reasonable to say that if any of these sisters heal internally, than they probably will have a better relationship, simply because their relationship was not that bad. It has never been that bad. It wasn’t even that bad in the beginning of acotar, when the sisters were snobs and Feyre was like get the hell out and get married already. If Feyre did not cut her losses, it was not that bad. If Feyre did not curse them out and wish death upon them, it was not that bad. You think it’s surprising that Nesta gave up her power for Feyre? NO! She was going to die in a war with absolutely no problem, just to buy them time, because she doesn’t care about herself. She has no self-preservation skills. She went into the forest to try and get Feyre back, you think I’m oh so shocked that this was the decision she chose? No. So did it add value to something I already knew about her character? No. Would I have preferred literally anything else? Yes. Nesta sticking up for Feyre. Feyre sticking up for Nesta. A civil conversation. An exchange of trauma narratives, some moment of empathy. All things that would have been easier to manage and more valuable to the story. Add in Elain to further her narrative and personality and voice, where she has some complexity, not random characterization that I have to piece together and hope for the best analysis that has no solid foundation whatsoever.

So in conclusion, I fully believe that the Archeron sisters can have a good working relationship based on acceptance, but do I think it will it come out of SJM in a way that seems consistent and valuable? No.

And that has been my rant this Wednesday evening.

#anti sjm #anti acosf #Nesta Archeron #the archeron sisters

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bookofmirth · 3 years

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(Long ask btw)

One of the reasons why I don’t see E/riel happening (aside from my interpretations of toxic behaviours from Azriel’s end) is because it doesn’t make sense for SJM to put the scene, the situation, and the reason behind Elain and Azriel’s entire romantic struggle/hurdle…in a bonus chapter. Some people were already seeing Gwyn and Azriel together even in the crumbs that were set throughout the book, so even before that bonus chapter was released/widely known a lot of people were already liking the idea of them (I personally didn’t see too much of a romantic coding but looking back on the text now, it’s easy to interpret it that way).

However, the same cannot be said for the romantic conflict between Elain and Az. There were no showings throughout the entire book that they would have a forbidden love story (though not really because no one other than Lucien really cares if they none or not but J digress) or that Rhys would object to them getting together. There is no set up for a forbidden love story other than in a bonus chapter, a chapter that in the future many of the audience will not see.

If there is one thing I can commend SJM on, it’s her ability to make books, not timeless but ageless if that makes sense? I know for a fact that 5 years, 8 years down the line some 14-16 year old kid is going to pick up ACOTAR and get into the series. I highly doubt that they are goi to go and search for a bonus chapter they know nothing about, yet somehow also contains the entire set up for the romantic conflict in the next book? Possible yes, probable no.

So unless SJM is going to retell that entire scene in the books, as there’s no way to make the conflict seem legit without having that scene on top of that the lead up to that scene, I cannot see E/riel having a firm backbone to hold it’s own as a forbidden romance. She and her editors would have to pretty much reuse the entire first half of Azriel’s bonus chapter (which takes place in the middle of ACOSF) in the next book which doesn’t seem plausible. In fact it sound kind of ludicrous now that I’m typing it out, especially when you take into account how long SJM has been writing.

I’m not saying that there’s no way E/riel can happen because the conflict was set up in a bonus scene that people in the future will not seek to find as they don’t know about it-but I’m also not saying I buy SJM putting the conflict for the next main romantic (once again) in a bonus scene that people in the future will not seek to find as they don’t know about it.

Yes, that is a good point! I know people keep arguing about whether or not the chapter is important, and I think it is in this moment. It tells people who are currently reading the series what is coming next. Just like the other extras told us that Chaol and Nesta were coming.

You're right that there is zero (0) (NOTHinG) about it being forbidden in the books themselves. There is no reason why they couldn't be together as High Fae and Illyrian, or... literally nothing, there is no reason for them to not be together except for Lucien, but...

That seems like a huge obstacle to be conveniently ignored in the regular material? If it were actually an obstacle? Because yeah, literally no one cares except for Lucien, and even he would accept whatever choice Elain makes. The only reason Rhys said those things was to get Azriel out of his head and make him understand the implications of what he was doing, especially since it wouldn't even be worth it just for sex. Which is why Rhys told him to go pay for some.

I'm curious about how his chapter will play a role later on. Someone asked me if Gwyn had worn the necklace later in acosf, but no, she couldn't have without it confusing the reader why this random necklace was being mentioned.

Even Azriel's anger at Rhys and losing the snowball fight can be explained otherwise because he was already getting pissed off at Rhys and Feyre earlier in the book because they didn't let him spy on Briallyn. For reference, the fight over Briallyn where Azriel argues with his High Lord and Lady ALL AFTERNOON takes place in chapter 41, and we know that his chapter takes place after 58. It's not like someone who had never read his chapter would wonder where his anger came from. They would assume that he and Rhys are still angry at one another because Azriel wants to be given free rein and Rhys has other ideas and is supporting Feyre's decisions over what Az wants.

Newsflash: not everything about Azriel is related to Elain. 💀

Nesta's preview intervention was rewritten and expanded between its appearance in acofas and acosf. But I kinda think that we won't see anything about the Az chapter again except for maybe small nods to it. Like in ToG, Aelin gets the nickname Fire-breathing Bitch Queen in an extra but we don't need to know that for people to use it on her in the regular books and for it to be understandable.

I really think that the bonus scene was meant to tell us about Azriel's psychology and to get us excited for the next book. Any details, like everything that you mentioned, are ultimately not important because sjm can't assume that everyone will have read the extra. We as current readers who read as soon as the books are coming out, yes. It's meaningful for us because we are participating in the reading as it is written and we are speculating on what will happen next, knowing that we have to wait.

But for later readers, like you said maybe people who are too young to read right now but will later, it'd be pretty odd to have some massively important stuff in that chapter that they won't have access to or know about. Could sjm go back? Yes. But I can't think of a single extra whose importance was such that we had to read it before going on to the next book. It mainly serves the purpose of getting us excited for the next one.

#wow I am not concise today #i hope this made sense #acotar: azriel #az pov #ask #anon #antielriel

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kob131 · 3 years

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Rewatching volume 8 I can safely say that they kinda ruined Ironwood's character. To me they made him a cartoony villain by shooting the counsel guy and teaming up with Watts at the start of the volume, as well as him willing to blow up mantle even though Salem was gone. I think they should have taken their time in the volume making Ironwood a villain, Judgemental critter explains how he could have been better in her review. Buuut that's just my opinion

Then I figure you don’t mind if I go into Judgmental Critter’s Ironwood part?

‘Ironwood is an interestingly complex character, both kind and understanding but also stern and harsh.’

... That’s...not unique. Like, at all. That’s like every Sink or Swim Mentor or Stern Father figure. Fuck, Hank Hill came to mind.

‘He was the one who broke the news to Yang, being earnest and disappointed that yang was disqualified. But also put his foot down so there’s no protest from the girls.’

... So? This isn’t the aspect of him that Volumes 7 and 8 are being focused on and this is BEFORE his paranoia and trust issues got validated so of course he’s in a naturally better state.

‘Here’s a man who convinced himself that he built an army that couldn’t be beat.’

Wait, did you just...skip the part where he relates to Yang and implies he has PTSD, indicating he’s not exactly mentally well? ... What the fuck?

And you’d better be considering this when you come to Volume 8, after his army has been beaten and just got stretched thin.

‘In Volume 4, he stands kindly by Weiss’ side, stands up for her against the Atlas elite and when the girls meet him again-’

... *graps Judgmental Critter by the collar as they pass by.* Don’t think I didn’t notice that.

Jacques: You've never trusted anyone other than yourself!

Ironwood: (shouting) And for good reason!

Weiss covers her mouth with her hand as she gasps at the sound of Ironwood slamming his fist onto the desk.

Ironwood: If Oz had just listened to me from the start...

Jacques: You need to get a grip.

Ironwood: That's exactly what I'm doing. Our people need protection. By this time next week, the Kingdom of Atlas will be officially closing its borders. No one in; no one out. Without the council's permission.

Jacques: You mean, without your permission?

Ironwood: And if that becomes the case, I would think you'd want to be on my good side.

Funny you don’t mention this in your summary of him, considering this is portrayed as a deeply personal reveal of the man.

I also remember that you ignored what he said in Volume 2.

Glynda: Trouble sleeping?

Ironwood: (Looking back, gripping his shoulder with the other hand.) Arm was acting up.

Glynda: Of course, so logically, you got out of bed, dressed yourself completely and decided to gaze menacingly out into the distance. (Approaches all the way to his side, then looks at him concerned.) What's wrong?

Ironwood: I've trusted him for years. We both have. I just... I can't help but feel like he's keeping us in the dark.

Glynda: Don't be ridiculous! You know very well that we are not the ones in the dark.

Ironwood: (Laughs humorously.) That makes it worse! I refuse to believe that a man that I've trusted for so long would act so... passively.

Glynda: (Puts a reassuring hand on her friend's shoulder.) You're a good person, James. You've always done what you think is best for the people, even against strong protest. It's admirable. But it's high time you stopped talking about trust and started showing it. (Drops her hand as they stare into the distance together.) Ozpin has experience that the rest of us lack. And I think that's something worth remembering.

These things that connect Ironwood’s actions in the past and his actions in the future...

And you don’t mention them despite being big character moments for him? Maybe this is a coinc-

‘He knelt to spoke to Oscar, which showed his dad energy!’

... *steams starts to rise from my face*

Ironwood: Without him here to guide us, all I can do is use my best judgment.

Behind him, Oscar shifts uncomfortably. As if sensing something, Ironwood stops and looks back.

Ironwood: What is it?

Oscar: Actually, Oz isn't completely gone.

Qrow: Uh, Oscar here is… is the next Ozpin.

Ironwood: Oz?

Smiling, Ironwood quickly and eagerly approaches Oscar, who looks nervous.

Ironwood: I'm so glad you're here. I didn't think you--

Oscar puts his hands up and interrupts Ironwood, as the latter crouches to Oscar's level.

Oscar: Not quite. He's kind of, um, gone... at the moment.

Ironwood's smile fades, and he lowers his head.

That wasn’t him acting like a dad, that was Ironwood being desperate, given a fleeting glimpse of hope that the man he respected and looked to above all others is...there, standing in front of him, where he can finally have an equal again.

That was...so blatant and obvious I am finding it hard to believe you’re not doing this intentionally.

“He spoke to Oscar as if he was a trusted ally despite missing Ozpin’s words of guidance!”

Oscar. Has. Ozpin. In. Him.

Ozpin. The man that James, AGAIN, respects and follows.

No. Fucking. Shit.

“He gave Team RWBY the Huntsman title and upgrades!”

‘Huntsmen’ in Atlas meaning ‘soldiers’. And that is STILL not contradictory to what he does later.

‘He was well meaning and kind...until he found out they lied to him.”

Which was bad of them...but they were also in fault when they treated Ozpin harshly and James did WORSE so what does that tell you?

‘His PTSD comes flooding back!’

...

......

...........

You skipped how he refused to trust the council, his PEERS, with the info about Amity or even Robin, whose entire issues with him could have been solved if he TALKED to her, all because of his trust issues.

You have completely shoved his trust-related skeletons into the closest and play up his more pitiable PTSD issues. You’re fucking Mary Sueing him.

‘Was all of it Team RWBY’s fault? They didn’t give him the truth but neither did Ozpin-’

Was it Team RWBY’s fault that the Fall of Beacon or Atlas’ issues happened? No! In fact, James was more culpable in both scenarios (if he listen to Ozpin then the machines COULDN’T attack Vale citizens and if he told the truth and listened to Team RWBY before he had no choice then he could have stopped all that shit!) than them. And just as Ironwood’s issues don’t excuse Team RWBY’s fuck ups- Ozpin’s issues don’t excuse James’ fuck ups.

‘Who can he trust? How many levels of precautions does he need to take?’

You know, I’d buy this shit if not for how the depth of his trust issues isn’t actually shown, how his issues with trust went beyond this and came around to how he was isolating himself. This is still trying to play pity for the man instead of seeing him for who he is.

‘We left Ironwood last Volume as a complex man whose filled dwith grief, guilt and fear-’

And what have we seen as the end result of these emotions time and time again in RWBY?

They cause the person to devole.

Hazel is filled with grief and used that to help justify his shit actions.

Ozpin is filled with guilt and let it distance himself from others.

Yang was filled with fear and couldn’t move on.

And Salem...Salem is all fucking three and we KNOW how she turned out.

The way that ‘complex man’ is portrayed is the same way one says a character is complex as an excuse to ignore their darker issues. She goes onto portray Volume 8′s beginning with Ironwood as somehow not in line with his ‘complexness’ when this has been an issue with him since Volume 2.

And as a special fuck you to that:

Do you have any idea how tempting Ironwood’s position is? To be hurt again and again by others as you try to defer to them? To see yourself as right time and time again but still struggling to see other’s point of view as valid? To resist the temptation to discard what EVERYONE says, to not care about what others say and carve your own path regardless of what others think, feel or say?

I have. Countless times and it is SO HARD to not do what Ironwood did.

‘In his first scene, Ironwood crossed the line!’

Not really. From Ironwood’s point of view, Slate was standing in his way with Salem at his doorstep and in a worse shape than ever and he can’t afford to waste any time with him. Killing him is rather logical and why would Ironwood care? It’s right in his eyes and the morality of other people has only been chains to him.

‘This isn’t playing on his paranoia!’

Gee, what emotion is it that causes Paranoia again? ... Fear? And Ironwood did this out of what again? ... Fear of Salem?

How is it RWBY can bee so unsubtle to cause blunt force trauma on it’s audience and yet they STILL routinely fail to see it.

‘He’s just a shitty cartoon villain!’

Ah huh. Again, I heard the same about the P5 villains. And they all had real world counterpart (Madrame in particular can be compared to ROOSTER TEETH).

‘Cartoon villain’ is just a buzzword at this point.

‘His personality before was so much more intriguing!’

The personality where you chopped off the stuff that shows this coming?

Yeah headcanons tend to appear that way.

‘Everything he was just thrown away to give us a laughable shell of a character!’

AKA ‘Two Ironwoods’ right?

Newsflash- characters and people can change for the worst. People can reach this point and beyond for the same reasons as James did. Good people can devolve and change. And yet he still had his humanity. He still tried to hold back in some manner before he felt concerned even more. He never took joy in what he did. And he still cared for his people.

To call all that effort just a ‘shell’ because you BLATANTLY cannot accept this change in a character enrages me beyond what text can show!

‘He didn’t develop into a colder, heartless man-’

Yes. He. Did.

He ignored his people’s concerns and feelings just for a greater goal. He treated people as a whole instead of individuals. He kept secrets more and more. He constantly questioned if his compromises gave Salem the advantage.

He did devolve. You just blinded yourself.

‘I could see this happening!’

Right, if the show jumped through X+1 hoops right?

‘But instead-’

No fuck you, I’m done.

God what is with these twins and pissing me the fuck off?

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snkpolls · 4 years

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SnK Chapter 134 Poll Results

The chapter poll closed with 1747 responses. This month’s poll results were brought to you by /u/_Puppet_, /u/berthototototo, /u/staraves and @momtaku.

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,675 Responses

Chapter 134 “Depths of Despair” was another solid chapter with an average rating of 4.52, making it the highest rated chapter of the volume and 15th highest since we started keeping records.

The art was incredible

The best chapter in the volume, bar none.

it was really fucking cool and a definite step up from Chapter 133. This chapter does well to inform you that we *are* at the final battle now, and nothing is stopping this story from crashing to a sudden end pretty damn soon.

This chapter, like every other in the volume, feels like it was stretching. I was actively bored reading it. With so few chapters left, does Isayama really have time to stretch this much? He has so many loose ends to tie up and it's concerning. He obviously wanted a volume cliffhanger with the alliance facing Eren so I hope that his pacing next volume is much tighter because this ain't it, chief

This has easily become one of my favourite chapters in the while manga. [...] Overall, it's as good as 112, 122, 131 and other popular "masterpieces" in my opinion

Bruh I have been waiting for this so long and Isayama fucking DELIVERED. I was so worried with all the build-up and sometimes sloppy pacing that the final Eren vs Alliance showdown wouldn't live up to the hype but NOPE, it was amazing and beyond expectations. The moment where the refugees realize that Paradis forces had come to save them?? Gold. Beautiful. 10/10. Isayama I am sorry for ever doubting you, you are a god and I am thankful for your existence.

Rank this chapter a 5 for the Source of All Organic YEEKS.

Is there any button to press in order to rate this chapter 20/10?

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 1,692 Responses

It was a very close race, but “the crowd attempting to save the baby” ultimately came out on top and once again demonstrated the fanbase’s affinity for despair… or was it hope this time? In a close second comes Armin’s cliffhanger question to Eren, third place going to Reiner stomping the Beast Titan, which beat the rumbling scenery across the world by a single vote, which beat seeing the final audio by a single vote. If the extremely close results mean anything, this chapter certainly had something for everyone.

The crowd lifting the baby to safety is an image that will leave a permanent mark on me. I don’t have words to describe that scene.

Honestly, each goddamn panel is impacting, exciting or badass. I love the Historia scene, the chaos and destruction left me speechless, Karina and Mr. Leonhart's reflexion was heartbreaking, as well as the Marleyan general's.

“That Fucking Monkey!”

Reiner Helos was the most hype part of the chapter.

I could never really decide what’s my favorite scene or anything, it’s all just amazing.

as an eren stan it was rly brutal and eye opening to actually see all the innocent people and kids dying, overall it was a great chapter, just very gruesome

Reiners armored body slam and Levi’s monkey comment were best moments. Really appreciated seeing the worlds POV one more time.

I loved Reiner's moment but otherwise boring chapter.

I loved armin in this chapter he finally looks like hes acting as a commander.hopefully we will get more of this.

I love how much of other countries we get to see through rumbling, it helps to show more details for the wolrd building.

I liked Levi calling Zeke a “Big, furry bastard”.

We finally see Eren's new titan for doing something other than moving forward, and the beast titan scene was epic.

i cried when i saw the families saying goodbye. seeing eren as the founding titan hurts too.

Amazing. Literally lost for words. The last panel with Armin was so emotional/amazing. His character growth is phenomenal. Cannot wait for the next one

The tower guard's words were too much but I LOVED the moment with the baby on the cliff. I wasn't expecting something like that.

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER'S MVP? 1,669 Responses

As well as earning the favorite moment this month, the crowd at the cliffs also scored a collective MVP, showing that teamwork does indeed make the dream work. Closely coming in second is Reiner, no doubt from his valiant attack on the Beast Titan, and in third place is the commander of the alliance, Armin.

ARMIN GOAT

I love reiner so much :D

CHADERENFTW

The final pages just shows why i love Armin so much

Karina's regret was one of best parts of this chapter.

Reiner such a badass.

Wow just wow, the crowd, the alliance with their shit together (for the most part) can’t wait to see how this ends

WE SEE HISTORIA AGAIN! FOR ONE PAGE… THOUGHTS ON HER GOING INTO LABOR? 1,666 Responses

28 months since we last saw Historia in the present time, and now we finally see her again. But is this one page worth the wait? 36.6% are glad that this plot point is finally coming back, 33.1% are glad to see her but wish we’d gotten her side of the story, 12.3% are glad it seems to be a real pregnancy, and 11.6% are done with Isayama’s handling of her in the story.

I thought she was only like five months pregnant.

i hope she survives this :(

I just want this subplot to be over.

It's alright? I still wish she would have joined the scouts in the final battle instead of the pregnancy tho…

I'm so disgusted by the whole Historia situation. The execution of this plot point was abysmal from the beginning and I hate it

None of the above options square with how I feel. Historia's perspective (in addition to Eren's) is being set up as the final "basement"; so while I can see why some are frustrated, it has actually piqued my interest to see where this may end up

EH is endgame

EreHisu would ruin the manga

Each chapter I become increasingly pessimistic about Historia as a character. In the beginning of this chapter when we got the close-up of her eyes as she closed them in pain, I was certain the next page would have her inner monologue as she thought back on how she got into this position. But instead it cuts away, us seeing absolutely nothing from Historia, and I'm back to thinking she really has no agency anymore. Even if she is super important in the ending and a pivotal player in determining the state of the world after the rumbling, it won't be worth what she's been reduced to. To be fair, she was in one scene in Return to Shiganshina, no scenes in Marley arc, and this arc... well, we know how she's been treated. So maybe I should have seen this coming, but it was still disappointing for Isayama to hint that she will have a role this arc like in Uprising arc, only for that to be a breeding machine.

Why Historia was crying when she was having a child?

She finally is realizing the regret of the pregnancy decision and that she once again chose something she didn't necessarily want to do.

her life was always miserable and I don't believe that she will get some ray of light. She was the happiest when she had Ymir by her side. Now, even if she survives and has her child with her, she will always feel the heavy weight of her decision and the blood of millions innocent people will always stay on her hands.

I'm dropping the series after this. It just hurts seeing a queer-coded character like Historia constantly being beaten and reduced to literally nothing. First it was Ymir's death. Then Zeke's plan that involved her having children to be eaten by them (WHY NOT HAVE ZEKE IMPREGNATE WOMEN? WHY MUST IT BE THE QUEER FEMALE CHARACTER?? WHO'S ALSO THE QUEEN?). Then all the talk about her as a mere breeder, as a not-so-walking womb. Then the awful, awful ship-tease with Eren. Then her not opposing Eren's plan?? This is just it. I was holding onto the fake pregnancy, but now I envy the people who dropped the series once they saw the first panel of her pregnant.

I am tired of Tumblr crying over Historia. You are taking this pregnancy plot way too seriously. Newsflash: women don't automatically lose their agency when they get pregnant, kinda problematic of you to think that's what's going on. Historia has a plan and we will hear it

I think this may be a HUGE death flag for her. I mean if he can kill Sasha off with a gun says who histortia can’t be killed off by child birth?

I DONT WANT HER TO DIE

Historia gets what she deserves. She agreed to help Eren and now A LOT of innocent mothers and children is losing their lives in the rumbling. Historia has their blood on her hands and she won't be free from it. I don't feel sorry for her, at all.

If there's any character, besides Eren, who has humanity's blood on their hands, it's Historia, and her labor acting as a prelude to the moment that will decide the fate of humanity is incredibly poetic.

Hisu's baby is definitely having a titan inherited. So someone with titan powers will die in the final battle.

Don’t care about her

Well I guess she aint faking it after all

She's committing to the bit. There's no baby, it's all an act

WHO IS THE FATHER AAAAAAAAAA

Why did she want this child?

...all i can think is why does yams draw mouths/teeth like that? it’s so weird...

WHICH OF THE NEW LOCALS HAVE YOU FOUND MOST INTERESTING? 1,669 Responses

We get to see new corners of the earth… just before seeing them crushed. 37.3% found the cliffside of chaos to be the best, 31.3% enjoyed seeing Onynakopon’s London-esque homeland, and 23.9% enjoyed the scenery of the shrines in what could be Hizuru.

the panel with the people praying in the shrine was amazing also the cliff, these rumbling chapters are really dark yet visually beautiful (maybe I'm sick for finding it beautiful lol). "

The Titans drove Pennywise off that cliff

I really liked how it shows the different places where the rumblings is effecting like the Snk London etc

I’m a little confused about the timeline and placement of the cliffs and where the Titans are. Can someone explain how the Titans were seen pushing people off the cliff sides (also how were so many people herded into the middle of nowhere to be shoved off the cliffs?) and then also seen heading toward the fleeing Eldian/Marleyans? Are those two different places, a montage, etc? Do we suspend some disbelief to take in the apocalyptic scene of people falling from the cliffs into the sea? The opening scenes had me a bit turned around.

These shots where absolute nightmare fuel and they did an amazing job at showing how horrifying this situation is

HOW DO THE DEPICTIONS OF THE RUMBLING IN THIS CHAPTER, INCLUDING THE CROWD HOLDING THE BABY AWAY FROM THE CLIFF, RANK IN TERMS OF DARK MOMENTS INVOLVING CHILDREN? 1,652 Responses

Let’s just rename the series “In the Depths of Despair”. 39.2% think this chapter ranks near the top of the darkest moments in the series, 28.1% think Ymir’s daughters cannibalizing their dead mother is the darkest, while 19.1% hold to the other incredibly dark rumbling chapter we got with Ramzi and Halil.

All are equally dark.

Eternal winner is Udo trampled to death by a crowd while trying to save crushed Zofia

Every scene of children's deaths are all gruesome. Not one tops each other.

the mother throwing her baby away hoping to save them made me feel something and it broke my heart

I didn't think the cliff scene was that dark tbh, it was actually faintly uplifting. Though I also felt that way after reading chapter 131, so maybe I think that about any tragedy Isayama depicts.

Kruger saw his entire Family burn to death

It's a dark moment but I also think it's sort of hopeful, that humanity isn't completely fucked and they're all eager to try save this child rather than let it fall and die.

The entire imagery of masses of people barely hanging for their lives at the edge of a cliff is so abyssmal and daunting. This is seriously peak bleakness SnK. I still can't believe that there are people that support Eren after this.

he opening panels of the Rumbling were some of the most horrifying so far, especially the one with the baby.

This was, to me, possibly the single most powerful moment in the ENTIRE series -- and that's not something I say lightly.

Very little about this manga shocks me anymore. This moment is really no worse or better compared to every other disturbing scene

All the above are horrendous. I cannot choose.

TV Tropes has an entry called Darkness Induced Audience Apathy and that pretty much sums up my feelings at this point. Everything is so unrelentingly bleak and miserable that I’m rapidly losing my ability to care about these characters and what happens to them anymore.

The Rumbling; Yam's biggest middle finger to the world. Can't wait for this shit to end so my life can continue. Forever Yeagerist, because I am free, and Floch did nothing wrong.

THE GENERAL AT FORT SALTA GAVE A SPEECH ABOUT HATE AND MISTAKES, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF IT? 1,663 Responses

In the face of annihilation, the general stationed at Fort Salta has an epiphany on the path that brought everyone there. A solid 60% of respondents thought it was a great speech – it covers perhaps the grandest theme of the final arc of the story and someone needed to hammer home the message. 27.3% liked the message of the speech but thought it was a little too ham-fisted for the moment, but 6.8% just thought it was silly.

The general at Fort Salta’s words were really... desperate. It showed the truth of Eren’s rampage as the founding and I think it showed that Eren was more than what he hoped to become. He shows no pity now: I don’t even think he cares about the 104th and co. anymore. Really dark and I’m living for it.

The parts with no speech was great. Isayama is great with visuals which I love. The Marleyan speech was very cringe unfortunately.

Great to see the world let go of their hatred for the enemy. Still, Eren's stubborn charge is pissing me off!

FUCKING FINALLY. All this bullshit and guilting of the children and Eldians and we finally get SOMEONE owning up that their bigotry is the fucking problem here. And of course, too fucking late. But that seems to be how real history is

Nothing unrealistic about desperate people about to die thinking of second chances.

Great message, but would've meant more if it came from a more significant character such as Magath

Great speech showing that people always have the biggest realization when it's already too late and you can only count on miracles

I think it was honestly fine, but one tiny change could have been made to make it flow more naturally and not be so jarring to so many people: Rather than having the general talk about "us adults", and how "we" used hatred, I think it would have been more natural if he only talked about himself. This is a very common trope in war movies, and we're all capable of reading in between the lines and understanding how what he says applies to the different characters and the world as a whole. For him to point it out for us is a little jarring

hammy, but on theme

I feel like it's isayama's way of forcing his audience to understand his narrative by spelling it out for us. indicating that he has failed as a writer to just make his narrative naturally understood

IF the rumbling get stopped are they gonna still gonna keep their promise

In context it is fine, but I'm cautious about it being the end solution.

It was a desperate man's final words, and it showed.

It was a fitting speech that showed the Marleyans were finally ready to let go of their hatred towards the Eldians. It also felt like last-ditch speech to try to move Eren into reconsidering flattering the whole world with the Rumbling, but knowing Eren, the speech wouldn't sway him at all.

It was way to convenient and unrealistic for the general and the liberio Eldians to realize that they were wrong and I hope they die. That is all.

It was good to see they realized how terrible they were but as a wise man once said... “It’s too laaate to apologiiize. It’s too laaaaaaaate! Ay. Ay. Ay.”

Its good because its shows the message of the series of trying to stop the cycle of hate by either changing our actions or by sacrificing others for the "greater good". Placement is not bad tho, the general is realizing it is the true end

It’s okay, everyone has their own opinion. The general's opinion just happened to be like that.

I understand it, but I’m also bothered by the suggested idea that it took total annihilation to make people decide to finally “be considerate” of each other. It also feels very black and white to me, some of the subtleties of this whole situation was lost I think.

It was a great speech and super satisfying moment to see non-Eldians recognize how they played a part leading up to this, but there's no guarantee there won't be residual hatred for Eldians once all of this is over.

i honestly loved it. i don't mind the cheese one bit

KARINA THINKS BACK TO A YOUNG REINER AND REGRETS HER ACTIONS AS A MOTHER. WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THIS? 1,659 Responses

There are many bad parents in SnK, and Karina has certainly been one of them. The majority of fans accept her seeking redemption, while 25% think it’s too little too late. 20.8% are willing to give her a chance if she proves she means it through her actions.

I liked the moment between Karina and Mr. Leonhardt. Awful parents unite. XD At least they showed a change of heart, even if it was too late.

Felt like she just wanted to live a normal life

Anyways, Karina saved the chapter. We've seen a more logical character evolution than in Annie's father, and at least she got to see Reiner again.

IF the rumbling stopped are they still gonna keep their promise

the attempt to make me feel sympathy for Karina Braun was just obnoxious

Only took advantage of the boy

I’m glad Reiner mom is realizing her mistake of using her son as a tool but there’s not really much she can do.

Fuck Karina in particular.

Am I the only one who thought that Karina and Mr Leonhart looked good together? 😳

WHAT DID KARINA MEAN WHEN SHE SAID THAT SHE USED REINER AS A TOOL OF REVENGE? 1,653 Responses

Karina mentions that she only ever used Reiner as a tool for revenge. 31.1% think he was a tool to use against her former lover, 19.1% think he was primarily a tool for Marley, but 47.9% believe it to be a mix of both purposes.

All of the above and perhaps just a general narcissistic “I’ll show all of you how special I am by proxy of my child. Reiner being a Warrior means I am a Good Mother TM”

Reiner was a tool to make Karina feel like she had worth in a world where everyone, from the man she may have loved to her nation to the rest of the world was telling her she was worthless.

Karina hated Paradis' Eldians for "abandoning" her and the others to the mainland and wanted revenge on them for that.

Clearly revenge on his father and if anyone thinks Karina intended on Reiner being used to get revenge on Paradis is really reaching to villify Karina.

She said it on panel: Why did Karl Fritz leave them in Marley's power?

I believe it's "both of the above", but with the revenge on Paradis being from Karina, not Marley, as an allegory for Reiner's father. She always talks about how Paradis abandoned the Eldians on Marley, and I figured this was her way of expressing the sorrow and anger at Reiner's father for abandoning her and Reiner. So she did believe Paradis were devils who abandoned them, but that was fuelled by her personal issue

I didn’t and still don’t understand what Karina means by revenge.

It was both but also to give herself a higher status given her self-hatred.

WHAT IS THE BEAST TITAN WE SAW? 1,668 Responses

That was unexpected! The Beast Titan showed up, but not in a way we saw anyone predict. A very close tie between it being Zeke’s beast being controlled/manipulated and it being a War Hammer formation created by Eren, with the former just edging out the latter. 14% believe Eren can make titans however he wants via the Founding Titan/paths, and 2.4% think this was just straight up Zeke.

Don’t know, very confused. But whenever I don’t clearly see the eyes of a character, I usually feel like something fishy is going on....

Eren ate zeke and took his power.

Eren using the WHT to generate a Zeke dummy, using Zeke's titan blueprints.

I think he used the Founding Titan powers, not the WH. Ymir/the founding titan is the one that builds the titan forms so I think that makes more sense.

I do believe eren is controlling him since his titan was attached to eren at the neck, and then reiner broke that off.

I think it's Zeke being mind controlled and treated like a puppet by Eren.

I think Zeke is crystalized somewhere in the Founders body and Eren is using him to create a zombie Beast Titan.

It could be Zeke in there, it could be a clone. Nonetheless it's a puppet and he still needs Zeke to do a complete exact rendition.

It took Eren all three powers of the Founder, WHT, and Beast Titan, combined to pull this off. The WHT alone can create anything with hardening but i doubt it could create another titan moving by itself.

It's obviously a War Hammer construct, but I can't stop laughing at the idea that the Alliance don't realise how vastly different he looks. It kind of reminds me of when they would go "There's no opening in the Armored Titan's armor, it's covering everything" even though there's clearly spaces in between where you can see the red muscle

YFW another Beast Titan clone shows up next chapter

if monke isn't a Warhammer construct, where the heck does he get those rocks?

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT EREN SEEMINGLY CONTROLLING THE BEAST? 1,656 Responses

So we’ve discussed what you think the Beast is, now what do fans think of the development from a narrative standpoint? Most fans are happy with this development finding it cool and surprising, with 17.9% being happy just to see monke again. 12.1% feel it’s another ability coming out of nowhere, and 9.4% don’t like Zeke being handled this way. 4.4% think Zeke is in full autonomy, which is somehow 33 more people than when that was an option last question...

ZEKE DEAD IN BEAST TITAN BODY AND EREN CONTROLLING HIM

I just wanna see Zeke :(

I was so happy to finally see Zeke but all along it was just a puppet Beast Titan :(

If Zeke is just going to be a mindless powerup for Eren to keep Levi or Reiner busy, he'd better have been dead. We already had the Warhammer doing that job, why this again?

Tired of the Eren OPness to be honest, its stale and old and overall poorly writter. It's clear from the start Isayama's willing to bend backwards to not only power up Eren randomly but to try and justify everything he does.

THE ALLIANCE CONTINUES TO FOCUS ON ZEKE DESPITE EREN STANDING WITH YMIR IN THE PATHS REALM LAST CHAPTER. WHY HAVE NONE OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED HER? 1,650 Responses

Despite us fans freaking out every time we see Ymir, the alliance doesn’t seem to care. 43.9% believe they’ve just been a little too busy to focus on the minutiae of the lore, while 39.5% just have no idea. 11.1% don’t think they saw her standing there in the first place.

Did any of them really know who the little girl was?

Easier to focus on what they know than what they don’t

Do they recognize her! Are they familiar with the iconography of this creation story? Either way, they’re probably at the “Oh look, Eren’s in his child body and standing with a little girl who is the progenitor of our race. This might as well happen.”

I'm pretty sure they at least discussed it and formed a plan in the plane

They don't wanna face the fact they have to kill Eren, plus killing the beast titan may be easier than killing the founding titan

They still are still not as informed of the relationship between Eren and Ymir, their first goal is to rid the connection of royal blood to Eren preventing further destruction

Wait, are you saying we as the readers can see Ymir but the others can't? in that case, Ymir may have appeared multiple times throughout this mess and yet we've only seen her for Ramzi's death and when the alliance were in paths…

Only Eren can see Ymir since he has the founding Titan, as well as Zeke since he has royal blood. The rest can see Eren because he has the founding Titan and is connected to all Eldians and Ackermanns via paths.

seems like they hold Zeke more accountable to the rumbling than Eren himself. Yeah I get it, he's their friend. But fuck that, humanity is at stakes, and when Zeke turned against the warriors, they accepted that they had to kill him, even if they didn't wan't to (especially Pieck), even if he was their comrade and leader, even if they grew up together, because it needed to done.

They’re saving it for when they discuss Levi’s hand

They're like Ramzi -- they have no bloody idea who this loli is.

Nothing to do with the question but I'm bummed the official translation for this image was not "THAT FUCKING MONKEY!" like earlier ones

Alliance are stupid Motherfuckers

THE BLIMPS CERTAINLY TRIED THEIR BEST, HOW WOULD YOU RATE THEIR PERFORMANCE? 1,646 Responses

Surprising no one (except for 5.6% of you from last month who predicted the blimps would deal a decisive blow), Eren tore through the bombing fleet like it was nothing. On a 1-5 scale from “Abysmal” to “They tried their best, okay?”, the plurality of you have decided to lend some sympathy to the squadron, with some erring on the side of neutrality. Low expectations seem to have prevented disappointment, as not many people are criticizing them in the write ins either.

as a WWI nerd I really disappointed by the airship "battle." Isayama has done his research on some aspects of early modern day tech (like the detail on the firearms), but then has the airships dropping what looks like submarine depth charges instead of zeppelin bombs (I was like--why are they dropping oil canisters?!) and then has the airships go down in Hollywood-style explosions from having rocks thrown on them.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART IN THE PLANE’S ARRIVAL? 1,659 Responses

35.4% of respondents loved Reiner’s dynamic entry, followed by 23.6% of respondents who loved Levi’s war cry of MOONNKEEEE. 17.1% were happy to see the image of Armin leading the charge that we’ve been expecting since hearing that final audio sample. 9.1% embrace the ongoing Avengers theme of everyone jumping into battle at once. 8.3% appreciated Onyankopon’s sweet fighter pilot moves, and 5.2% liked seeing the Eldian evacuees getting a glimmer of hope.

Finally, shoutouts to the handful of people whose favourite moment was Pieck bounding out with the bombs like a happy dog with sausage links.

This chapter was pure adrenaline. The Alliance's entrance in the plane was seriously badass. I can't wait for 135!!

Reiner with the Buddha's Palm. Respect!

I love how Levi is still so focused on killing Monke. Avenge your husband, sweetie.

Armin is finally grabbing Eren by the collar again and I like that. Safe to assume we're going to see more of the Eren vs Armin showdown now. Armin delivered a truly powerful line, "Which part of you is free" and I'm curious how Eren will respond to that

Reiner's transformation is probably my favourite one, and seeing the rest of the alliance jumping down in a tense but at the same time epic scene was priceless.

It was impossible to choose what part of the plane scene was the best, it was *chef's kiss* all of it.

PIECK TRANSFORMED AND GOT THE BOMBS IN THE CART’S MOUTH WITHOUT BLOWING THEM UP. IS THIS UNREALISTIC BASED ON THE WORLD’S RULES TO YOU? 1,602 Responses

Chekhov’s bombs are now in the hands, er, mouth, of Pieck Finger, via grabbing them from the plane and transforming into a titan while holding them. About half of fans had no issue with this, seeing that titan transformations are just summoning flesh around you. 17.5% did think the transformation explosion should have detonated them, and 30% are just wondering how she also managed to perfectly unravel the bombs midair.

Bold of you to imply Isayama cares about physics after the wet gun and the plane being ready in 5 minut... 1 hour excuse me.

Bombs are detonated through fire reacting to the gunpowder right? Do we know that the Titan's 'explosions' are made from fire?

Pieck has probably done this many times before, the cart titan is mainly used as a war mule after all.

She's just very very gentle ok ?

Cart titan has experienced in carrying things in different situations and the explosives shown could be improvised. Also, these types are initiated with fire and will not explode with any impact occurred.

I assumed that she let go of the bombs, transformed, then caught them. This does not bother me in the slightest.

I think it's kinda like Eren with the spoon, the objective was holding it, which is why it wan't damaged when Hanji noticed it. Same thing with Pieck and the explosives.

Rule of Cool, doesn't matter either way to me.

No, Cart Titan is especially a strange titan to begin with and a use for delicate and ambushing situations(read the chapters where Pieck transport Bertold in a barrel before the attack on Paradise)

It's kinda unrealistic, but falling from 50 meters with all your body burned and survive is way worse.

WAS THIS THE START OF REINER’S HELOS MOMENT? 1,615 Responses

Reiner being Helos has been a popular theory for a while, and now he seems to be acting as a hero to those left at Fort Salta. 54.4% believe this is the start of Reiner embodying the idea of Helos, while 12.9% are holding out for if he kills Eren. 27.9% don’t believe Reiner to be connected to Helos in any way.

Appeared as a small hope

Are people really still going on about Helos?

can he kill Eren? If he can, then hes Helos

H E L O S

What is Helos

Half-Eldian, half-Marleyan -- he represents so much more than Helos ever did.

He could be Helos, but I think Armin will be the one to save humanity, but Reiner can join him

I dont really like the whole X is helos thing, reiner definately is acting the part of the hero but i think its more redemption for reiner than trying to be some kimd of savior of humanity and i think that fots his character better.

The real "Helos" is not just Reiner, but the whole alliance.

He going to be Helos not when he kills Eren, but when he makes a sacrifice of some sorts.

He's not Helos, and will never be, but he is definitely a big hope

Who is Helos

Reiner does not deserve to be a ‘Helos’

HELL YEAH REINER

He'll do something sick

Helos was a fake hero, just a mask. Their is no comparison with Reiner's journey to maturity..

I won’t compare him to Helos. But this is sure a hero moment

Captain Suicide to the rescue

I think he’s helos but it’s gonna be armin who saves the day

I’m not sure if he’ll be helos but he’s still going to be essential to the story

Helos was a hollow and fake historical figure made up to push the "Eldians are evil" narrative. Reiner, on the other hand, is someone who was raised with a hatred for Eldians and committed atrocities because of it, but came to face his past actions and save the world as a true hero. Reiner isn't Helos, he's so much better than that.

WITH THE BEAST TITAN THROWING AT THE PLANE AND SKYDIVERS INDISCRIMINATELY, IT SEEMS LIKE EREN IS OK WITH KILLING ANY OF HIS FRIENDS. THOUGHTS? 1,630 Responses

The question of how far Eren would go to achieve his goal of freedom has plagued the community for a while, and this chapter seemingly confirmed his willingness to even kill his friends, as seen by the deadly projectiles that the alliance only narrowly avoided. 61.8% of respondents aren’t surprised by this, despite Armin and Mikasa, who were in the line of fire, being voted as very unlikely for Eren to willingly kill last month. While 16.6% were indeed shocked by this, 19.1% believe this can be explained away by Eren knowing his friends aren’t in any serious danger.

Eren has to kill everybody, the rest of the world and if they don't stop even the alliance. Otherwise this story will be worse then Game of Thrones Season 8.

Scared that eren is fine with killing the friends he wants to protect

ARMIN SEEMS TO RECALL THE 112 CONVERSATION WHEN HE SAYS HE WANTS TO ASK EREN ONE MORE QUESTION HE WON’T LIKE, “WHAT ABOUT YOU IS FREE”. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 1,636 Responses

Eren’s quest for freedom and Armin’s quest for understanding come to a head in this chapter’s cliffhanger question from the latter: “What about you is free?” More of you think he is still in the reasoning stage (37%) than those who think the question was an affirmation of his determination to say goodbye to his old friend (30.1%). Some of you think the callback to chapter 112 is indicative of Armin believing Eren to be controlled in some way (27.6%).

Armin is trying to manipulate Eren like what he did with Berthold but I think he will 100% fail .

Armin is really being built up here for an amazing redemption. These last three chapters we've seen him carefully being inserted into the pivotal role in the series just like in RtS. I'm 90% confident the biggest plot twist of the entire series is coming, and Armin is the catalyst as he's always been for every amazing moment in the show prior to chapter 91. I think the ending is going to blow everyone out of the water, and that everyone predicting a side to win is missing entirely how the manga will end.

I'm so happy to see that Armin is basically done coddling Erin. He's ready to take him out, especially since he's become the commander

in line with what kenny ackerman said, armin thinks eren is a slave of his own obsession.

Please stop blaming Eren for everything, he needs Help. It makes me sad to see Eren has to face his best friends, and I dont like Armins way of confronting him, it looks like Armin has erased his memory of his best friend…

He's a fucking clown, I can't stand his shit. Still selfishly trying to talk Eren out of it when he's causing the fucking apocalypse and asserted many times that no, he won't stop. Who cares about Eren's vision of freedom when he's killing millions of people ? Just nuke him, you're supposed to be the colossal titan ffs

Their ideas clash at the moment. However, Armin still believes that his friend behaves unnaturally and won't let go until he discovers the truth.

we have continuously witnessed Eren being a hypocrite it makes perfect sense why he would say that

We need Armin's POV to know if he's now fully prepared to kill Eren or not

What I think is that armin might think that eren is being controlled by the attack Titan

Perhaps to get a rise or reaction out of him? Or just a cool way to introduce himself to the conflict!

that seashell fucker joke of a commander still wants to talk rather than kill him when Eren repeatedly made it clear that he won't ever stop the rumbling.

Hoping to see how this ideological conflict between Eren and Armin will end.

THIS CHAPTER HAS AN EMPHASIS ON THE SURVIVAL OF CHILDREN. WHICH ONES DO YOU SEE SURVIVING THIS CONFLICT? 1,649 Responses

This chapter’s repeated motif of humans coming together to save children, especially infants, has been noticed by many. As for what it means for the survival of the ones in this chapter, the majority of readers believe Historia’s child is in the clear (81.4%). The children at the fort appear to have much less of a chance (32.8%), but are believed to be comparatively less doomed than the baby at the cliff (26.1%). On the bright side, only about a hundred of you (7.6%) think they will all perish.

Great chapter showing the contrast between a child being born in Paradis and a child dying on the other side of the world.

Sometimes people will trample each other to escape (as we've seen in Marley), but sometimes through the mindless fear people try and protect a tiny helpless thing for a few moments. Whether the baby lives or not it was amazing imagery.

The crowd trying to save the baby from the cliff as the Wall Titans arrived was very dark, but I still think Ymir's daughters eating their own mother is still the darkest moment in the series involving the children, while the runner-up is Faye's death.

we all theorized that the final panel was Historia's child but maybe it's the baby at the cliff. Eren might actually win and destroy the world, then through the wreckage he approaches the child and picks it up and tells it that's it's free

Cliff baby is toast

While the Rumbling is still as horrible as ever, this time it didn't feel quite as hopeless as when we saw Ramzi and his brother. The baby lifting scene was chilling and yet strangely inspiring.

damn bruh seriously the poor kids

MANY CHARACTERS HAVE BEEN SHOWN TAKING ON THE BLAME FOR THE CURRENT SITUATION, INSTEAD OF POINTING TO EREN. DOES ISAYAMA WANT THE WORLD TO BE AT FAULT INSTEAD OF EREN? 1,636 Responses

With the story presenting us a complicated situation, does Isayama’s approach lead to the wrong conclusions? Almost 70% of fans believe that he wants us to view both parties as at fault for the current situation. About 17% believe the hatred of the world is squarely to blame, while 8.3% think it all lands on Eren for his own actions. 5.3% think Isayama is just really clumsy with his messaging.

this chapter makes you realise that eren is actually at fault. I used to make more excuses for him, but this chapter really sealed the deal for me atleast. No one deserves this pain. It is not marley vs eldians anymore it is everyone vs Eren.

While it makes sense for them to feel regret, I still disagree that its their fault. Like look at Grisha's parents, they didnt do any wrong to deserve this. They just lived their life the way they were told to. Thats why i dislike the argumentations. Most people just were forced to hate someone they never met, so I dont this like the speech that much.

i think isayama states that the alliance is at fault too because they decided to still fight on eren's side until it was already too late and he activated the rumbling. not because they are killing people directly.

while I think that Eren is the main culprit of the Rumbling, true peace cannot be reached if everyone acts all high and mighty ""well, it wasn't MY fault"". After all this, the whole world has to be humble and willing to work together, otherwise it has all been for nothing.

I find it weird everyone (SC, warriors, the world) is blaming themselves for everything and readers are using their pre-death laments as a confirmation that Eren is right/justified. I don't like Eren being portrayed just like the product of his context, especially because he himself deny it and many chapters exist to reforce that (100, 121, 123, 130, 131, etc). I feel nobody is treating Eren as an individual, but as a force of nature coming to punish humanity for their sins. It's uncomfortable, because he's just a person like everybody else and not a god even if he has some god-like powers.

I don’t think the narrative is on eren side, but it also doesn’t absolve the rest of the world, the narrative shows that both sides have good and bad people, innocent and guilty, how each decision affect each character, and what they feel about it all. This story is about a cycle of hate, eldia used titan power to attack the world, then the world revolted and decided to attack eldia, now eldia (eren) attacks the world again, cycles have no end unless someone interrupts it, the question is; What is the most effective way to end this cycle?

Eren already lost. He wanted protect people on Paradis, his friends and Historia but it looks like his actions only have created more sadness and misery. A lot of people on the island died when the walls collapsed and now they most likely will have a civil war. Two of his closest friends are already dead and the rest feels depressed and miserable. The things for Historia don't look good either. Even if he fully rumbles the world, he will never really save anyone.

I think genocide is the solution to stop Racism

AS THE ALLIANCE PREPARES TO FIGHT EREN, ONYANKOPON IS MAKING AN EMERGENCY LANDING WITH THE PLANE. HOW WILL THIS GO? 1,638 Responses

Onyankopon flew the alliance where they needed to go, but the plane’s in trouble and he might be as well! 44.5% think he’s going to die or has already died in a crash, 41.3% think he’ll land with injuries, and 14.2% think he’ll be a-ok and join the onlookers for the battle.

Onyankopon is probably dead but I really hope he’s not.

WHO DO YOU SEE DYING BEFORE THE MANGA ENDS? 1,602 Responses

Going into the final battle, it’s useful to have some data on everybody’s predictions, as well as a follow-up to the same question that was asked for the chapter 127 poll, back in March. The characters who were voted more likely to die than survive are led by Zeke, who has a clear majority (78.1%), followed by Connie (59.8%), Onyankopon (59.2%), Levi (57.5%) and Eren (54.6%). Coming close, but still more likely to survive according to voters, is Pieck (48.9%), Reiner (47.9%) and Yelena (44.9%). Gabi (11.5%), Falco (15.1%), Armin (16.2%) and Historia (17.4%) are expected to make it till the end.

Interestingly, as we approach the end, every single character who was present in the March poll has increased in perceived likelihood of dying. Except for one, Yelena, who dropped 6.6% in votes, perhaps due to her injury rendering her a more sidelined and subdued character. The characters that the fandom changed their mind on the most are Levi (+39.1%), Onyankopon (+37.3%) and Connie (+23.8%). The characters that have remained relatively unchanged include Gabi (+3.5%), Jean (+1%) and Kiyomi (+1%).

if he kills Jean without giving him anything important in the whole arc I'm going feral.

I really hope there’ll be no casualties to any of my favorite characters

IM FUCKING SCARED TO SEE LEVI DIE

i hope reiner didn't die untill the last chap

I sadly think everyone will die besides the main three and levi since he’s an ackerman.

ARMIN, SON, PLEASE DON'T DIE. YOU'RE THE MOST PRECIOUS LITTLE BUNDLE OF HOPE. PLEASE DON'T DIE!! 😭

WE’RE STEALING THIS ONE FROM THE WIKI. ARE YOU MORE EXCITED FOR CHAPTER 135 OR THE SEASON 4 ANIME PREMIERE NEXT MONTH? 1,661 Responses

Monthly waits between chapters are rough, but so are the years between seasons! Luckily we have both with the next chapter and the Final Season coming out within days of each other. 57.9% are more excited for the next chapter following the pretty popular 134, and 42.1% are more excited for the anime to kick off.

FINAL SEASON HYPE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

Can't wait to see what will happen 135 and beyond!

I am overall completely hooked on the manga chapters, and I love Eren’s characteristic traits and mental strength. I am really excited on the final season.

can't wait for the final season!! It's going to be EPIC

Super emotional, everything seems to be leading to a tragic crescendo and all of this is going to look bonkers if MAPPA adapts it well for the final season

Incrediblesuperawesomethebestimsohypedineedchapter135

Cant wait for the next chapter and the final season!!

DESCRIBE THE CHAPTER IN ONE WORD 1,181 Responses

The top 5 words used to describe the chapter this month are below. As opposed to the usual superlatives as well as a resurfacing of pain, the standout this month is monke, thanks to Zeke’s return. We seem to be fully done with the recipe shenanigans after a few months.

Amazing [60] Monke [38] Epic [36] Pain [33] Awesome [31]

ISAYAMA RECENTLY ESTIMATED THERE IS 1-2% LEFT OF THE STORY. WHAT CHAPTER DO YOU THINK THE MANGA WILL END AT? 1,657 Responses

At the statue unveiling on November 7th, Isayama dropped another clue in the ever evolving mystery of when this series will end. His new estimate of 1-2% would translate into two more chapters (!). That estimate did little to dissuade our fandom from our most popular choice of 138.

Between Isayama's comments and this chapter, I'm really afraid there's 1 volume left and Isayama might rush everything, thus giving a shitty ending for everyone.

I really hope it doesn’t end at 135, there’s no way Isayama can muster a proper conclusion out of that unless it was all a dream or some dumb shit.

I'm confused as to how there is 1-2% left. Is Isayama really going to make Eren a cold-blooded killer after all the character development, I wonder. Honestly, I constantly feel like it's going to fast and that there are some things that need to go into more detail.

I fear the ending could feel too rushed if it really ends in ~4 chapters from now.

I'm glad we're closer to the ending. I just want to leave this series behind me and never look back again.

idk but i just dont want it to end too fast😭😭😭

WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,657 Responses

The countdown clock is ticking away but there are still plot points to be completed and mysteries to be solved. To kick off what is likely the final volume of this series, nearly half of us hope the focus next month is The Alliance vs Eren (45%). In second place with slightly over 1/5 of the fandom, is interest in Eren POV (21.7%). Falco’s Flying Titan (9.2%), Historia (9.1%) and Zeke (8.1%) fill out the remainder of the pie with the smallest fraction (5.6%) wanting to know what is up with OG Ymir.

I still want to see Eren redeemed and saved, as that felt teased too much. Eren vs Zeke also felt teased too much. I also wanted to see Historia in action again. And how will Annie and Falco fit into the equation? And what of the titan powers? And the aftermath?

Kinda want to see this conversation between Eren and Armin more than anything

I want to see more Mikasa action.

i want armin to shift into the colossal titan and give spider-eren a big smooch on the lips

I personally would like to see Historia's pov because we still haven't gotten it and I want to know if Zeke is actually dead or not

I want to see more of Historia

v excited to see Zeke again, same w historia, hope eren pov is soon, liked seeing more of the world

Has Hajime forgotten Riko or will she have an interesting role in this ending? Can she be the child's mother in the end?

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING PLATFORMS DO YOU USE TO DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,562 Responses

It’s official, after months of steady growth since we allowed multiple social media to be chosen, twitter has finally dethroned reddit on the polls as the most popular platform to discuss SNK. The more distant third place goes to real life, which managed to overtake discord again after falling behind a little last month. And 38 snapchatters now! Are you multiplying?!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER? 479 Responses

this chapter got me fucked up.

Isayama: Hold my plum wine.

I haven’t seen anyone talk about it yet but in one of the manga panel you can see levi holding his sword in his way as if he had all his fingers back. So I think he does.

Save for chapters 130-131, the manga has been noticeably become underwhelming since 124. Like I implied above, there are many hints that this manga is going to have a GOT season 8 tier ending. Eren will be defeated and all the hate in the world will magically disappear. There will be some sort of unity between Marley and Cringevengers that brings peace to the world even though it shouldn't realistically be possible. And lastly, that baby near the cliff will end up living at the last moment and will end up being the baby from the final panel. "You are free", most likely being held by Armin or Reiner.

Go get him, Armin!

ALLIANCE HAS ME SO HYPED BYE

I wish it were longer but no thoughts my heart is heavy

I know Eren wants to destroy the world but HOLY FUCK.

I just, really hope that baby will be ok

I LOVED EVERY PANEL !!!!! I WAS FILLED WITH EMOTIONS WHILST READING 😭😭😭

I��m just really excited to see what’s gonna happen on the next chapter because everything is really chaotic and I’m just curious what’s the ending really like after years of making up theories and stories in my head.

I’m just so ready to see what’s really going on with Eren and which side will win. Also Armin is amazing in this chapter and his last question to Eren in this chapter gave me chills

I think Isayama is trying too hard to excuse Eren. Despite everything, he exterminted humanity instead of saving it. Other have gone trhough worst and would never have gone that far.

I’m not sure how to word it for English isn’t my first language, but it’s kinda sad to see a fictional world realize their mistakes/bad things they’ve done and how hatred can affect things

is the baby in the final panel (the « you’re free » one) the one that was saved or historias??? 😳

I'm so tired.

I think it will be more clear if we got eren pov sooner

I think that it doesn't make any sense if Isayama gave us Historia in labor for nothing. I want to know more about her and her baby, how have they been all these times after the squad left the island and before the rumbling. And Zeke, too. We haven't seen him for a while so i'm glad that he's back, but i think he's under Eren's control now. The chapter is kinda short for me. It's gonna perfect if we have more scenes of Historia and her baby, or at least Zeke's POV.

I think that we will have a lot of deaths in the next chapter

I think the current titan shifters will die. And then it will be reborn by historia's child. In short, the titan shifting powers won't end

I think this will end bittersweet at best

I think what Eren will do when seeing his friends are fighting him. Does him will hurt them back

Big fan of seeing Historia again, and that baby being held up is a very chilling image we haven’t seen the likes of for a few months.

I think with all the hype, it still was a setup chapter and I think the last 4-6 chapters will be monstrous and very bitter sweet.

I think zeke is there but only partially controlled, but the titan is formed by warhammer capability

I thought it was a very good chapter to end the volume off of. Now I expect the next 4 final chapters to be amazing Isyama writing we are use too.

I thought that it was interesting because we got to see zeke again and the alliance going to try to save eren and to fight again

I thought that that eren will go back to mikasa

I want a goodass ending

Rumbling hits Hiruzu but the base is still there? That can't happening at the same time.

SADDDDD

i have no idea I just stressed out with this chapter.

Safe pregnancy for Historia

THAT FUCKING MONKEY 🐒

the art is amazing but i'd like to see more dialogue

so much happened in a single chapter, i can't believe we're reaching the end

I've been here since 2013, and it's finally at the final volume, AND I'M NOT READY! ALL HAIL ELDIA! ALL HAIL EREN!

Isayama's art keeps evolving every month, it was live watching anime key frames before any color was applied.

it made me cry so much i hope it will have a happy ending

It was a rollercoaster of hype and regret lmao

yams says fuck dem kids

Can’t wait to see this animated

It was awful. All those big questions without answer... And I hate what he did with Hisu. I hate it as a woman.

It was cool like always hope isayama feels good like we do

It was cool, but it had some cheesy moments. Does the title suggest that History is in despair too? Is she having complications in her labor or is feeling guilty because of the rumbling? Or both?

It was cruel, it made me uncomfortable, I don't understand Isayama's joy in drawing scenes of suffering without a reason. And Historia, wow, I don't even know what to say, I still don't understand why she's pregnant.

wondering why she’s giving birth 2-3 months earlier, and why she lied to the mps. Unless it’s a premature birth but I doubt it.

astonishing, astounding, surprising, bewildering, stunning, staggering, shocking, startling, stupefying, breathtaking, perplexing, confounding, dismaying, disconcerting, shattering.

At last the end is near, but despite that the ending is not clear, it can end in so many ways but I don't think Isayama will disappoints us.

Avengers will beat the bad guy.

The biggest victims are always innocent children and that's the darkest and saddest part for me.

Great setup for the final battle, and that cliff scene broke me.

i tilt with helos theories :)

Armin and company, except Mikasa, are NOW ready to fight Eren to the death. Eren is also prepare to finish what he started, no matter who dies. Final result could go either way as Falco, Gabi, and Annie will come eventually, and their arrival will turn the tide one way or the other.

I hope armin and the gang can get through to eren :(

I hope eren kills them all

i hope eren win, to show the consequence of hatred

I just don’t care anymore

I just dont want that if the alliance wins, the marleyans and other races forgive eldia because that does not even make any type of sense

If it somehow wasn't clear before, this manga's message is about peace. It is NOT some n*zi propaganda, and it never has been. This chapter perfectly conveyed that.

Confusing but interesting alliance is making me angry they don’t understand Eren still think he’s being controlled

When a host for one of the Nine Titans dies without being devoured, their powers are transferred to an Eldian child through Paths. If one, some or all of the Nine Titan holders die during the current battle, would it be possible that the newborn, which is also of royal blood, inherits the Titan power?

Death Flags for Armin give me joy…

Why are men so afraid of letting lesbians be lesbians

did eren awake? will the wall titam fall off the cliff because it sweeps the area there? i always think about this, does eren have any secret plans behind this rumble? lol maybe, find a path tree and destroy it? lmao

downer chapter, I expected something better for the chapter where we see the final audio at last

Eren already won.

Eren and the rumbling is reminding me of Shin Godzilla

Eren best character

Eren goat, hisu goat

Eren holding his and historias baby in final panel seems more and more likely

EREN IS 100% THE FATHER AFTER THIS CHAPTER, IT'S NO LONGER EVEN A DEBATE

EreHisu would ruin the series

Eren, please stop the Fucking rumblimg. You killed A lot of innocent people.

Eren's eaten Zeke, and that's why he can form and control a beast titan. Sorry Levi, the only person that your gonna beat up is Eren yet again.

eren’s face with this dino titan just creeps me the fuck out, and i don’t look forward to the transformation being animated.

It was definitely surprising for me when I saw historia while some people predict she will die when giving birth although that could be a possibility I see her dying due to either old age or somehow her inheriting the beast titan since the Ymir curse exists

It was epic!

It was great but can we see eren and Mikasa moments in the upcoming chapters before the manga ends and also show some light on how to cure ymir's curse and stuffs

It was great to see Historia again.

It was necessary to show all the chaos Eren is doing, and i'm so excited to see the Alliance fight him!

It was really good set up for 135

all the violence !! Like was this even necessary ?? No ! Too much violence just "kills" the whole thing ! Damn it was just awful and a waste of time to read for me !

This is probably going to be the most disturbing episode in the show's history once it gets animated, even if it's heavily censored. I wouldn't be surprised if they end up having to put a disclaimer at the beginning as well. I can already see it now, God this is going to be insane...

This is the first chapter that has really felt like the end REALLY is here. The gang is engaged in battle with Eren, there is no turning back from this point. They will either succeed, or perish in the attempt.

This story used to have the character growth and the plot at the center of the focus. I'm sad that it is all blown away in favor of cheap spectacle.

This won't end well, for anyone. I know Isayama has something significant planned for Historia's baby (my pet theory is that all the titans will die without heirs, be recombined with OG Ymir, and then she can finally be reborn and GTFO of PATHS), but thanks, I hate it.

Armin already grew up. he was from a coward child and now he is a brave man. i wanna cry

Geez, I hope the alliance can stop eren

This is all a series of bad plot choices falling like domino. Are things gonna work out once we get to final revelations? Probably. Is it gonna feel earned? At this point I doubt it. I miss the passion in this story. Char. develp. has never been the finest but they've always been human. Historia's a uterus. Eren just cares about his freedom. Dialogue falls flat as if Isayama didn't believe in what he writes and he's trying so hard to force feed the reader. If the rumbling is the final stop why was half of this necessary when it gave no closure to any character? But if it isn't, we deserved a real build up of events.

Zeke finally back but we still didn't know if he being controlled or willingly

Zeke is not being controlled and instead helping his brother, Eren is going to win and killed some of his friends, Levi is going to survive, Historia is going to survive with her baby and showed up at the final chapter. That's all I'm sure at this point. Mark my words.

it was sad

It was so cool but very chaotic I feel like I need a flashback or something or a tiny break.

It was so depressing, I can't imagine how Isayama would end this manga in only 1-2 chapters, it definitely need more

Omg this chaoter make me cry and relived, im just relieved that marleyan know they are wrong, that paradis not a devil blooded

one of the best chapters

Poor pacing and seems like a lot of unnecessary convolutions to the overall message

Pure masterpiece! Thanks Isayama

The chapter is fine but ,The story is leading to an obvious ending .I want to be wrong about that . I want a satisfying end . But part of knows that is not possible , let's watch isayama handle this shitshow he created.

The chapter leaves you with just the right question.

ERREEHH REINEERR!!???

Even if I don't want many people to die, I think that everyone will die, humanity will go extinct :(

Ever since 133, it's two chapters which have amazing elements but ultimately falls off as dissapointing. The plot needs to move forward. I thought we were going to have Bertholttalk and Ackertalk. 132 was such a masterpiece of a chapter that it becomes a let down.

Everyone told Eren early on that he'd have to abandon his humanity to make a difference, to save Paradis- especially Armin. Regardless of whose on which side, its ironic that now Armin is the one who can't accept this.

Excitement😎

There are two panels where Levi and mikasa are showing a shocked expression, idk if it’s just coincidence but can this possibly be relating to the Ackerman instinct?

This chapter is amazing good job isayama thx for a another masterpiece chapter

This chapter is really intense. Also, I wish I could've seen Zeke's POV.

Waiting for royal blooded Armin

was good until it spoke

We miss you, Hange, fly high our angel

We're finally at the final showdown boys and girls

We're truly at the beginning of the end for my favorite anime/manga series, huh?

What a series!

What happens with Yelena when either Falco or Annie transforms on the ship? Kiyomi said she‘s ready to sink with it but Yelena?

i hope eren isn't the father

What’s up to come seems uncertain.

Where is Ymir

falco or annie is definitely gna come flying in sooner or later

I really hope we don’t get a peace treaty ending.

I really hope we get a good ending... not happy necesarily....but good.....

I really just don’t care anymore. Yet I come back for more every time. Curse my completionism nature.

I really liked it. Definitely worth the month wait.

I really love the detail from this chapter and my favourite was when seeing Isayama drawing all those colossal titans and those people being crush. That's so amazing.

The end is near. I think we'll see Eren's next (final) POV in the final chapter.

Very cinematic, impressive setup/start to the alliance vs Eren fight

Very devastating

WHY is historia pregnant? (idc about father) Please give us the real answer yams! It was nice to see final audio. I loved Armin’s final comments and can’t wait to see the EMA confrontation.

Wonderful chapter, it's nice seeing another of Armin's plans. Reiner decking the beast titan was hype. The babies and the rumbling were a great juxtaposition too.

Would love to see if eren is really being controlled or if he’s willingly doing this to be stopped and perhaps killed?

I still wanna hope Hänge IS alive

i still wanna know how the hell eren's titan moves forward. the only thing i can imagine is some of the big bois carrying him. i can't get over it

I suffer

#snk poll #snk polls #snk chapter 134 #snk 134 #snk poll results

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juniaruta · 4 years

Text

Besitos - Part 1

Synopsis: After Elle Evans, Marco found it hard to move on with his life. Can he found a way to forget the kiss they shared that day?

[Note: the lack of Marco's imagines (and the power he has to distract me) drive me to write this. I apologize in advance since English isn't my first language. Also, I made up the university in this fic so the college setting might be weird since I don't know how it is abroad. The girl won't appear in the first two chapter. I definitely should rewrite the summary later hhh)

prologue

tag: @mansaaay

---

College life is rough. It is nothing like high school, nothing at all. It is confusing, tiring, and fast-paced. It is five projects in two weeks after you just started college. It is sleeping at 4 AM doing assignments and submitting it at 7 AM. It is treating coffee not as recreation anymore but a primary need to stay alive. It is leaving no space to play guitar and gaze on the sky to contemplate about life. It is busy, and Marco thank God for it.

His busy new life as a freshman in Avery University leave him no time to think about his high school heartbreak. Anyway, for the sake of his sanity, Marco decided he won’t say her name anymore. Pretty childish but whatever. It worked pretty well at making him forgetting everything about her.

Marco always thought he was that kind of guy who just look back at his past loves and said, “Ah, the first time I kissed her it was one of the best moment of my life. I wonder what she is doing right now,” while sporting a melancholic smile then goes to strum his guitar and play that one song associated with her. But hell, plenty of time he wished she broke up with that asshole Flynn and regret her decision choosing him over Marco. Months later that Instagram highlight of their relationship still posting updates.

Well… Not that Marco keeps tabs on their relationship, not at all. He was too busy, remember?

“Oh God, stoooop! You’re miserable dude!”

Marco immediately press the home button of his iPhone, stuttering.

“W-what?”

Michael, his roommate, have this “poor you” look in his face as he shook his head. He really hates it when that guy (or ANYONE) gave him that look.

“Seriously? Doing your stalking routine? That’s fucking creepy.” Michael shuddered. Too tired to defend himself, Marco just shrugged as he placed his iPhone on the coffee table. A little harsher than he intend to. Not that he cared.

Michael, still shaking his head and ticking his tongue in an exaggerated manner, walked in Marco’s direction with two can of beers on his hands. He handed one to Marco, chugging his own, ticking his tongue and shook his head even more.

“If only the girls in the whole campus know the great Marco Peña is a miserable guy who cannot moved on,” Michael paused to take a sip of his beer, “That’s actually a great content for Twitter. I think it will go viral.”

Marco immediately grabbed his phone before Michael put his hand on it, “Don’t you dare,” he warned, earning a laughter of the other guy.

“Come on, you should see yourself. After that long, boring lectures of Introduction to Basic Coding, instead of having fun, you choose to mull over your past love,” Michael stopped to think, “Oh wait, it never even started.”

God damn it, this guy is annoying. Marco really regretted that one night they shared drinks and leading them to spilled their heart content. It was mostly loneliness and homesick that drive Marco to told his story. Fuck Michael, luring him with that story where he got ghosted by a girl (which sounded pretty miserable too).

Marco met Michael on his first day in Avery. A over-friendly guy who get along with everyone. Marco labelled him as “people pleaser” because he always tried to please anyone. From fellow students to lecturers. His motto is: Network make the life Works. That sounded awful but Marco got it. Michael friendliness gained him few new friends as well. The guy’s also a great listener. Well, that friendliness also come hand in hand with the need to stick his nose in the place where he should not.

“Let’s see… hmm… Elle… Evans…” Marco rolled his eyes as he saw Michael typed El- her name in his own Instagram search.

“Woohoo, Elle, that is a nice swimsuit,” Michael whistled. Marco unconsciously peeked on his phone. That was a nice swimsuit indeed.

“Let’s see… hmm… Oh man, they’re still together, too bad.”

Newsflash Michael, I know about it already, inner Marco said.

“But look at that. What does she see in him?” Michael exaggerated another head shaking, “His chin looks weird!” Marco gave subtle nods. Gotta agree there.

“And those lazy eyes, God! Was he smoking weed when they took this picture?” Yeah, I thought about it too, inner Marco chimed in.

“You are far way better man, no doubt,” Michael gave a reassuring smack on his back. Hell yeah I am, inner Marco nods proudly.

“Her lost that she didn’t choose you,” Marco huff a laughter. It does feel like his lost though.

“Elle Evans was not worth it. Repeat after me.”

“She was not worth it.”

She was worth it, inner Marco chimed in again, desperately. She was always worth it. Damn, now he realized he is pathetic.

“Good!” now Michael gave another pat on his back. Thank God he cannot hear inner Marco. “You know what you need? You need to get laid. Dude, when was the last time?”

Marco shrugged, “I don’t know,” it feels like a long time ago indeed.

“Well, thanks to me, I got invited to this party. Basically everyone was invited but you are too busy brooding over Elle that you don’t notice that poor sorority girl whose eyes sparkled when she asked you to go. We should go tonight.” Michael jumped from the sofa then goes to his room. He came back with a wrinkled red Avery t-shirt that Marco realized his roommate had used the night before.

Marco actually knew about the party, but he wasn’t in the mood. He was never in the mood. He also acknowledged every girls who made move on him, but he was also not in the mood to pay them any attention. Not when they were not the one he wished made a move on him.

“You need to stop thinking about Elle and moved on. Starting from tonight,” Michael said while doing failed attempt at straightening the wrinkles on his t-shirt with his hands, “You, Marco Valentin Pena, need to get your shit tonight and get laid.”

Michael was right. He is going to let loose tonight and maybe kiss a girl or two. He was Marco Valentin Peña, the famous MVP who swooned girls back in his high school years just by a mere smirk. Two-years-ago Marco would laugh at him if he saw his current self. No way.

Nodding to himself, Marco went straight to his room, analyzing his wardrobe. Tonight he needed to get his shit together and forget her.

#the kissing booth 2 #the kissing booth #marco peña #marco x elle #marco x reader #elle evans #noah flynn #marco valentin peña #marco imagine #marco imagines

57 notes · View notes

nicemom93 · 5 years

Text

In The Wreckage

Eight days. It’s been eight days since the horror of Season 4 dropped on us unexpectedly, messing up all of our plans to watch together, with personalized marshmallows (thanks, @jjmazzy) and Veronica-themed food. And while we all knew that we were going to lose someone, I don’t think anyone was ready for what we got, or how poorly it would be done.

What I also never expected was a season that made me:

1. Wish that we’d never clamored for more Veronica Mars after MKAT;

2. Wonder if I could actually still enjoy old VM canon, since what S4 did to Veronica and her story was so awful.

I came across a Hulu forum (again, thanks, @jjmazzy ) and wrote more than I’ve been able to write in the last 8 days, explaining my unhappiness and my hope that Rob Thomas is not allowed to bring any more Veronica Mars canon to life, but it may have been too long and the damn thing won’t post. So, I’m sharing here, under the cut, to at least get this off my chest.

Although it is inevitable that this show would have ended for good in 2007 without the steadfast support of its fans, I respect that a showrunner gets to run his show. He doesn’t have to cater to what has become disparagingly termed ‘fan service’. There are a couple of problems with that in the case of the Veronica Mars revival however.

After the unprecedented fan response to bringing Veronica and company back for a movie, the fandom continued to keep the attention on the desire for more canon content. Rob Thomas and Kristen Bell did an admirable job continuing to mention their own wishes just often enough to keep the fans’ interest piqued. Then, last summer, a month before the formal revival announcement, the teasing began…we’re close, so close, so very close…and the fandom responded as expected, shouting our desire for more VM content from every forum available. I cannot believe that this deliberate tease and the fandom response did not help make the deal with Hulu. “Look at our built-in audience! This is a sure-fire money-maker.” For the next 11 months, we were then spoon fed the pieces and parts of the story that anyone with a brain would know was going to keep the interest high. Kristen Bell even finally declared herself ‘Team Logan’ after years of frustratingly stating that do-nothing Piz was better for her beloved character than the boyfriend who always had her back and knew exactly what she needed. What a great day that was – seeing her finally admit what the rest of us have thought all along. We should have known it was a scam to keep us on the hook, but, boy, did it work. Hulu has probably never gotten as much free advertising from a fandom as it did for Veronica Mars.

But the show we got in S4, and what is being proposed for S5, are not what we were sold. In S4, Veronica became a shell of who she has been in the past. That might be understandable given all of the trauma in her life, but when last we saw her, she was working toward understanding what she wanted out of her life and was learning to make better choices. What in the world happened to her between the end of MKAT and S4? Nothing is mentioned, but for a character to have such a significant change in outlook and behavior between chapters of a story, there really should have been some explanation. There is no question that Veronica's always been...troubled and kinda difficult, but that was earned by the circumstances of her life, and the people who cared about her still managed to ground her to a certain extent, no matter how hard she was on them.

In S4, she's hateful to everyone who has loved her, except for her dad, who she mostly ignores. Her disdain over Wallace's life choices was hard to stomach. Her treatment of Weevil was so self-righteous and horrible that I truly hated her in that last interaction...you know, the one before he saved her ass in spite of how awful she was. And her treatment of Logan was appalling. She spent most of the original series looking down on teenaged Logan because he wasn't as focused and driven and put together as she thought he should be (newsflash - she wasn't all that either), but here she's looking down on him because he’s gotten too focused, driven, and put together. I get why she had trouble with the fact that she's still a mess and he's not any longer, but the way she taunted and undermined him did not make her a character I would like to see again. Now, a Veronica who understands her own dynamic, and is trying to improve herself, that would be interesting, but there is nothing in how S4 concluded that would cause her to make this change. She now has a reason to be a shell of her former self, with no hope for anything good to ever come from her life.

Since S4 aired, we’ve heard from Rob Thomas and Kristen Bell telling us this was the only way to keep the show going. They’ve even had poor Jason Dohring out trying to sell that message, in spite of the completely disrespectful way he was treated after helping keep fan interest in this show over the long term. Not just because of the abs, although that’s the typical argument from those who want to see a fifth season of Veronica beaten down once again. No, it’s because Logan Echolls has had the best arc of character development on this entire show, and on most other television shows as well. It is difficult to fathom why no one wanted to continue to take advantage of that.

However, this showrunner doesn’t think a married woman detective can be interesting. Rob Thomas has stated in interviews that he thinks Logan and Veronica in a perfect relationship would be boring. Umm, have you watched your own show, sir? That marriage is never going to be perfect. Watching them negotiate their new dynamic would be interesting to watch, but apparently not interesting, or maybe it's just not possible, for Mr. Thomas to write. He’s also stated that he needed Veronica to be the underdog again—that’s where she is best. I don’t disagree, but I’m not sure how more trauma piled on her translates to underdog. She’s always going to be the underdog because she takes up for the underdog. At least she used to. Her relationship status doesn’t change that.

Mr. Thomas’s consistent message following the show’s drop has been that he wants this to be a pure mystery show, and take out the teenage soap element. He could have done that easily by not regressing Veronica back to the maturity level of a teenager. That was the only obvious aspect of teen soap that I saw in S4 and he chose to wrote her like that. He also chose to throw in the completely unnecessary love triangle tease, a ridiculous soapy twist for a character who has never been a cheater, at a fundamental core level because of what she has seen, and who has been in a reasonably stable and loving relationship for five years. We’re also told that the horrific trauma she endures at the close of the finale is what will finally get her to heal. There is no valid writing that would make that true. Over the last fifteen years, Rob Thomas has piled trauma after trauma on this character, and none of them have caused her to heal. Here, in spite of her fears, she again chooses a life with the love of her life, establishing that she does still have some hope for a better life, even when she knows so much can go wrong, and she is rewarded for this growth by being dealt the worst blow possible. What about that set-up sounds like a reason to finally choose to heal?

Our final sight of Veronica is of her again running away from what’s left of her life, including any type of support system. Mr. Thomas indicates he sees the future of this show only as Veronica traveling and solving mysteries on her own on the road. He wants a pure mystery show, although he admits, very accurately, that he doesn't do mystery that well. He also accurately assesses that humor/banter is where he excels, but where in the story of a lonely, bitter widow with no one in her life are we to find that humor? V's repartee with Keith and Logan especially are where that is easiest to find, and Logan’s dead and Keith will maybe be on the other end of a phone call. Why would we wish this dark and hopeless world on a character that we’ve loved for years in spite of her flaws (and her creator’s). As a longtime, very immersed fan, I wish I could travel back in time and let the fandom know what it’s like at the end of this time stream. If I believe in Marvel Time Travel, that still leaves us in a shattered world that we unwittingly asked for, but maybe I could at least save other versions of me and my fandom friends from the heartbreak of a Veronica Mars revival. Canon ended just fine with MKAT. I can only hope that the Hulu Powers That Be don’t continue to allow Mr. Thomas to continue to inflict his vision of more trauma porn on Veronica Mars.

#veronica mars #season 4 spoilers

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sapphicsylvari · 4 years

Text

Prologue: Mutiny Part II

@tyrias-library

Thank you all a million times for all the support You’ve sent my way! I’m all misty eyed when I read your comments! I’m so glad you enjoy my stuff, and fear not, there is SO MUCH MORE to come. This is the end of the Prologue for now. But after that, the fun really begins!

ON AO3

The first thing Asha feels is the unmerciful cold of the waters. She hits the surface like concrete and immediately after her head goes under, the panic sets in.

There had been a strange calm in her until now, a resignation to her fate, but now that the fight for her life has begun, the protective layer of indifference is gone.

The water seeps into her clothes and drags her down; she struggles against her bonds, trashing about, eyes held tightly closed.

Sharpness hits her skin, pain as it's broken by... something. Sharks, Asha thinks. Krait. Unknwon horrors of the depths. Her lungs burn, her body screams for air and Asha cannot hold her breath any longer. Salty seawater fills her lungs and the world goes dark, a mercy after the raw fear of drowning.

When Asha comes to, she feels the sun on her skin, the taste of salt still lingers on her tongue, proof that she did not dream this terror. Not daring to let hope take her again, Asha slowly opens her eyes.

She sees a beach. Waves coming and going on the damp sands, sunlight glittering on the water's surface. Her bonds are undone, but the more conscious she becomes, the more pain Asha feels. Her wrists and ankles are open, raw from struggling against her bonds with no regard to her skin's integrity, adrenaline having clouded her sense of pain for that moment. Furtherly, there are gashes on her arms and legs, burning from the saltwater. Asha sits up, head spinning, nausea in her stomach.

She scans the immediate area for something, anything, an explanation to how she got her, and why she isn't one of the many unfortunate corpses at the bottom of the ocean.

The coast is rocky, aside from the few patches of sand. Large boulders adorn the beach, grey and bleak. Asha feels like she is dreaming, her surroundings feel unreal and too quiet for her standards. She's not used to this kind of peace, not after the harrowing ordeal of serving on the Rascal.

Then, from the corner of her eye, movement. Asha whips around, limps toward one of the big boulders in her vicinity. “Who's there?” she calls out, her voice raw and raspy from swallowing saltwater. In response, the stranger she'd spotted peeks their head over the rock, halfway, just to see wet, pale pink hair and featureless eyes. No pupil, no iris, just a white shadow where they should be, looking at Asha with a mixture of fear and curiosity. “Wait – Don't leave.” Asha pleads as she makes her way toward the stranger. “Please.”

A pair horrible, clawed hands appears left and right of the face, and the creature pulls itself upward, into view from behind its hiding spot. At first glance, it looks like a nude woman, pale as the moon, but then Asha sees the gills on her sides and her neck, the webbed hands and the scales on her waistline. She lifts herself up onto the boulder with impressive strength, revealing the mighty, scaled fishtail in place of her legs, the same salmon color as her hair, which clings to her back. Asha stares at her, frozen in place. She's heard stories of the melodious voices calling sailors to their doom, the beautiful women that feed on the blood and bones of those who hear them sing on the open sea.

“Siren.” she gasps and loses her footing collapsing back onto the ground. The siren bats her eyes and nods, then brushes her hand ober her tail. A change occurs with her, her tailfin shrinks, her scales fade into skin, and the entire tail splits, reforming into human legs right before Asha's eyes. A few minutes later, only a few scale pattern remain of the tail and the siren stands on wobbly knees before her. Once the transformation is complete, she kneels down at Asha's side and gives her a sheepish smile, as if asking if she is more comfortable with her now.

“Did... did you save me?” Asha dares to ask, as she has no other explanation for how she survived her execution and the siren nods. “I, um... thank you? But why? Aren't you supposed to eat sailors or something?”

The siren hurriedly shakes her head and takes Asha's left hand, her cold fingers tap the rash from the rope. She holds her own wrist next to hers, and a faint shimmer on her skin, an irregularity in her smoothness has Asha's eyes go wide. “You were cast overboard too? Is that how you became like this?” she asks and the siren nods once more, letting go of Asha's hand.

“Thank you.” Asha repeats, clueless about how to proceed from here. She's wounded, alone with a mermaid on some shore or island without any way to find her way home, let alone back to the Rascal.

Her gaze meets her saviour's again.

“I'm Asha.” she introduces herself. “Do you have a name?” The Siren opens her mouth, revealing a set of sharp, sharklike teeth, then closes it again, draws breath and produces as rasping, hissing sound from her throat, before managing to form a word.

“Raya.”

–

Vaixx stares into the spot Asha Gaets had submerged at, looking at the air bubbles rising as the girl drowns. His fists are clenched tightly, and he turns away.

“Set a course to Laughing Gull.” he orders, immediately assuming his duties as the new Captain, now that Rowan is no more.

“Hey.” He feels someone grip him by the shoulder as he makes his way into the Captain's Quarters, to clean up the body. “This isn't your fault.” He hums in response, brushes the hand off. “Vaixx.” His friend, Raxxi, moves into his way. “She killed the Cap'n. If you hadn't done this, the crew woulda torn her apart.” “I killed a kid.” he counters and pushes her out of his way.

Knowing not to push the topic, Raxxi follows him, clasping her hands behind her back. “What now? Taidha will not be happy about losing one of her best Captains.” she asks instead. “Taidha can suck my dick for all I care.” Vaixx responds sharply and closes the door behind them, cutting off the sounds of the crew celebrating the death of a little girl. He feels sick, and looks upon the corpse of Rowan Gaets.

His daughter's attack came out of nowhere. Rowan's eyes are wide open, his lips parted, as if in silent protest. Nobody would have expected the girl to snap, least of all her father.

“I followed Rowan's orders, not hers.” Vaixx adds and tears off his headband, to run his fingers through his hair.

“Sorry to burst yer bubble, mate, but those were her orders, passed through to the next instance.” Raxxi counters. “Look, I know you don't like her, but she's got an entire fuckin' fleet. We only have this sorry little boat.”

Vaixx pauses. “What if that wasn't the case?” “Wha?” “What if we had a fleet, Raxxi? We wouldn't have to follow her anymore, would we? We could just leave!”

Raxxi snorts humorlessly. “Yeah, what if we had five million gold? We could retire! Newsflash pal, we have neither that, nor a fleet. Taidha will appoint one of her goons as the new Cap'n as soon as she learns of this mess.” she says and Vaixx shushes her hurriedly.

“Yes, but she doesn't know yet, does she?” he urges. “I hate this situation as much as everybody else, but this might be a chance to leave Covington fleet for good! Your brother.” “My brother?”

“He's got the means to help us build a fleet, doesn't he? He's got the money to buy the ships we need, and the connections to populate them. We have to do this. We will not get another opportunity.”

“Vaixx, my boy. There is one weakness in your masterplan.” “What?” “You just set course to Laughing Gull.”

“Fuck!” The door bursts open again and Vaixx stomps out from the Captain's Quarters, followed by Raxxi as he makes his way up to the wheel. “Change of plans! Avoid Laughing Gull, Sanctum Harbor, on the double!” he calls to the Sylvari up there, who looks onto him with hollow eyes. There's a sting in his gut when he remembers her. She was close to the girl.

Regardless, she follows his order, spinning the wheel. Vaixx estimates, she will leave the crew as soon as they reach Lion's Arch but for now, he cannot worry about that.

He has work to do.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #gw2 fanfiction #tyriaslibrary #pirate saga #mutiny #asha gaets #admiral vaixx #captain raxxi #siren raya

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split-n-splice · 5 years

Photo

Last chapter! eep Cue violence.

[chapter guide]

Chapter 6 - Sever

Shego had been ready for the night to take a turn for the worse, braced to fight her way out of it. Luckily, the worst didn’t come that night.

Her weary escort merely tossed her a key with an attached number before departing without any sordid demands, only grumbling a complaint about her lack of expressed gratitude. Booking her a room in a motel far from his own was awfully gracious of a so-called villain, but she was too wiped-out to look a gift horse in the mouth – or thank him, for that matter.

She’d been prepared to catch shut-eye in an alley or on a bench somewhere – it wouldn’t have been the first time – but there was something inherently wrong about finding sanctuary in a cheap motel room. Still, she was grateful for the place to crash even if it wasn’t her own bed. If this was what it meant to never go home, then she’d just have to get used to it.

She supposed she’d have to get used to the disquiet she felt about not having her special sleep-aid as well, but she’d been too tired to worry about it for long.

Simply being left alone that night eased Shilo’s nerves just enough to get some much-needed rest. She was out like a light the moment her head hit the pillow, drained enough to sleep through the night on top of the unfamiliar blankets. She’d opted to keep her boots on, still wearing her uniform beneath her civilian attire, ready to run should her family have the audacity to call the dogs on her. She’d been too tired to undress anyway.

But the peace of mind slumber held was a sham, and it evaporated in the morning sunlight as that damn cheeky yellow ball of fire glared in through the slats in the blinds, filling the little room with its unwelcome warm glow. The clock on the nightstand informed her it was barely eight in the morning. Her circadian rhythm wasn’t far off the mark, if only she were still abiding by the strict routine.

Shilo groaned and raised her arm over her eyes, cursing the sun for waking her.

Like a waking hydra, her anxieties reared their ugly heads one by one. First came guilt for bailing last night, followed by the guilt of letting down the twins by failing to show up for hero training. Grief for her material possessions begged her to go back for a jewelry box. Apprehension came through loud and clear though, asking her insistently, What are you going to do now? She was swamped with mixed feelings, all vying for attention, the loudest of which was dread.

She dreaded what today would bring. If all went according to plan – no, she didn’t even have a plan, only a goal to get out of Dodge – if all went well, then this was the day she officially cut ties with this damn town. Nothing was changing her mind.

With luck, she wouldn’t have to confront her family today or ever, or bear the crushing weight of guilt and face-to-face goodbyes that might very well be enough to make her willpower crumble. After today, she’d officially be a deserter, and her little brothers would officially have no mother-figure, and she’d officially disown the organization supervising and funding Team Go. After today, she might even become a face on a missing person flyer. She hoped she could be so lucky as to eventfully be forgotten like one too.

As she rolled over and curled up with her back to the light, Shilo chided herself that her family shouldn’t concern her anymore. They would be just fine without her. Maybe even better, if she wasn’t around to distract them and cause turmoil through obstinacy and defiance. Besides, it was high time she started looking after number one.

Dr. Drakken wasn’t due to pick her up until checkout time, which wasn’t for a few hours yet, but she couldn’t coax sleep back to her no matter how much she wished she could lie there just a little longer.

Albeit still drowsy, she reached for the utility pouch on her calf, double-checking the wad of cash as she considered where she might find a nice breakfast. She racked her brains idly for any places she might have seen nearby, but it was ultimately decided she’d have to do a little exploring around this end of town to get her bearings to track down someplace decent to grab some grub.

Shilo was about to face the day on her own accord when a knock at her door interrupted a silent pep talk she’d been giving herself to get herself out of bed. She scowled, checking the time – it was only a quarter past eight now. Though it grated her, it didn’t surprise her in the least that the rogue doctor might have changed his mind about the pickup time. He was a madman after all, and he probably had a point to prove like the rest of them.

She stalled for a moment, sitting up to stretch and yawn. The knock came again with evermore urgency as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Something about it made her quirk her brow, but she didn’t give it a second thought.

She should have.

She reluctantly drug her feet to the door and turned the deadbolt, grousing, “Come on, Doc, it’s too early for—”

As Shilo opened the door, her eyes flew wide and all lingering bleariness vanished in a bone-chilling heartbeat. She blanched as she gazed up at the self-proclaimed authority figure.

Of course. What else could she have expected?

She would slam the door and lock it again, but knew it would prove useless. A closed door wouldn’t stop him. Hugo would just kick it down casually and pay for damages later. She steeled her resolve and fixed a glare up at him. “What are you doing here?” she demanded sourly, her brow furrowed as he looked past her to scan the room before settling his eyes on her.

She didn’t appreciate the suspicion and following relief that flashed across his face anymore than the fact he was here at all. If she had to guess, he’d expected to find evidence of funny business in the room at her back, and that he was pleased now to be proven wrong. And so what if he had found something? What she did in sketchy motel rooms was her own business anyway.

“Rise and shine, little sister,” said Hugo smugly, as if he were merely proclaiming his victory in a game of hide-and-seek they used to play before the comet hit.

He was beaming and she wanted to sucker punch the triumphant smile off his face, but before she could draw back her fist, he was reaching for her. She didn’t have the chance to leap back before his grasp closed around her arm. The man did not know his own strength – he’d break her one of these days.

No – no, he wouldn’t, because very soon there wouldn’t be any more of these days.

Her shock was replaced with anger in an instant and she gnashed her teeth, glaring heatedly up at him. “You’re stalking me now?” she spat vehemently, trying and failing to pry his fingers from around her bicep as she stumbled after him. She had a hunch he’d spent the night reviewing traffic camera footage with a fine-toothed comb to find her – which meant he had to know where Dr. Drakken was as well. Her heart gave a nervous jump.

“Oh, like the pervert you’re so set on hasn’t been?” Hugo retorted, voice rising with his temper. “Milo told me all about yesterday’s incident on the way to school. I cannot believe you. Shilo, that man could have abducted you.” He practically stuffed her into the Sloth parked just outside and took his seat behind the wheel in the next instant before she could unlock her door to leap back out.

“And what do you call this?” Shilo challenged incredulously, gesturing wildly to the air around her.

Warmth blooming in a fist, she had every intention to blast her way through the door to bust out, but a sudden pressure against her leg snapped her attention down to her lap. Predicting her moves, Hugo was a step ahead of her – but she hadn’t expected him to jump to drastic measures. Mouth agape, she looked up from an autoinjector pressed to her thigh, the emergency suppressant sapping the heat from her palms within seconds.

Her skin prickled at the violation and she broke out in a cold sweat as she gawped at her brother. What right did he have to look half as shocked as she felt? It was her leg he’d just stuck with a needle, her bloodstream he’d plunged a dubious drug into.

“You didn’t take your medicine last night,” he muttered quickly, as if that excused his actions, and threw the spent injector to the floorboard.

Shilo stared at the aposematic pen at her feet, appalled by the little thing that had been used against her. She knew Hugo carried the neutralizer formulated specifically for her on him at all times, but it was intended for emergencies , like if she was overheating or going overkill. She was dangerous after all. Even as a hero, sometimes they needed a way to cool her down. As far as she knew, no such drug existed yet to mute her brothers’ glow – it was easy for them when their glow wasn’t so destructive and unpredictable and feared.

Hugo’s lapse in anger was over, and he was forcefully turning the key in the ignition. “You’re my little sister,” he said firmly, but she barely heard him. “I’ll always do what I have in order to protect you.”

She heard that. Her attention snapped back up from the pen she ground to bits under her heel.

“Newsflash!” Shilo spat, livid as she shook off the shock of the needle. The effects were temporary. The playing field would be level soon and then she’d be fit to kick his ass. “I’m not little anymore. I don’t need your protection.”

She was ignored.

“Where is this Doc you’ve been seeing anyway?” Hugo demanded. When he received no reply, he glanced away from morning traffic to his scowling sister. “Well? I want a word with him.”

So he didn’t know where her ticket out of Go City was yet. Good. “Forget it. I’m not telling you.”

“The receptionist said you came in with someone last night—”

“That doesn’t mean he stayed with me.”

Hugo scoffed and a grimace twisted his face. “What did you expect?”

The neutralizer drug couldn’t snuff out the heat burning in her cheeks. “Would you stop that?” Shilo all but screamed at him, and he almost flinched. Almost. “There is nothing weird going on!” To him, her outburst probably sounded like denial.

If he gripped the steering wheel any tighter, he was liable to bust it. “Well then what is going on?” he dared, but she couldn’t answer that. No answer she could possibly give him would get him off her back, not that he’d buy them when he’d already drawn his own conclusions. “The man’s a predator, I’m telling you. He’s no good.”

He had no idea how right he was, but still – he had no right sounding so sure of it.

Oh, how she badly she itched to slug her brother now that burning him wasn’t an option. But he was driving, and a car wreck wasn’t on her agenda for today. Not this early in the morning anyway. “Well, I’m not prey,” she ground out instead. At least, she’d leave the rogue doctor with something to remember her by if she did fall victim. And as far as the doctor being no good – well, she was counting on that, but she couldn’t tell Hugo that. “I don’t want your opinion of my friends, so why don’t you take them and shove them where the sun don’t shine, huh?”

“Watch your mouth, missy,” he warned.

To which she coughed, “Dickhead,” in defiance.

Her brother nearly rear-ended a pricey sports car ahead, but disregarded her remark. “Where are you hiding him?” he persisted instead.

Hugo slamming on the breaks had jerked Shilo in her seat, and she was even closer to throwing punches now than before. She crossed her arms tight instead and refused to answer him. She refused to even put on her seatbelt.

She didn’t break, so after another circle around the block spent pressuring her, interrogating her, he turned to head home. He was pulling theories from a hat. Drug dealer? Sugar daddy? A simple creep who’d found her sweet spot?

Well, he wasn’t entirely wrong with his last guess, she supposed.

Shilo had half a mind to just run for it when they reached the driveway, but there was no telling if she’d have another chance to grab her things. Rather than bolting, she hastily stormed into the house ahead of her brother while he was still wrestling himself out of the confines of the Sloth.

She made a beeline for her room, but backpedaled back down the staircase and around to the kitchen for the phone, fumbling with her uniform beneath the sweater to reach down her shirt for the crinkled business card she had tucked back into her bra yesterday while packing. She’d almost forgotten about it entirely.

Relieved the hand-written number was still legible, she dialed it quick with trembling fingers and hoped like mad that she got it right as it rang and rang and rang. Come on, pick up, she pleaded inwardly, fidgeting as she waited, bound to the damn wall by the damn cord—

“Nnngh . Hello? How may I, ugh, direct your call?” came a groggy voice on the other end, failing to sound professional, and Shilo’s tense shoulders relaxed slightly. Cool relief washed over her for a split second. How bizarre it was to be glad to hear him made her a little dizzy.

“Someone’s sleeping in,” she quipped, a nervous waver in her voice, but now wasn’t the time for banter. She cut to the chase. “I’m ready. Like, now. ”

Hugo came stamping into the kitchen after her then. She’d hoped to make the call as quick as possible, but she hadn’t been quick enough, because he snatched the telephone from her hand and held onto her so she couldn’t scurry off or reach it.

“Hello?” he harshly barked into the receiver, launching into an interrogative investigation. “I have questions for you and you’re going to answer them. What business do you have with my sister? What do you want from her? If I find out you’re messing around with her, so help me! Why don’t you quit hiding in the shadows and face me like a man, coward?”

Hugo could deny it all he wanted, but he jumped at every chance to fight and show off, even if it meant provoking it. Shilo was too miffed to roll her eyes at his goading.

She was busy anyway. With his gift of superstrength, he held her at bay effortlessly as she clawed at him in her vain attempt to reclaim the phone. She could barely make out the flippant doctor’s curt answer, “Sorry. Can’t. I must honor Miss Go’s wishes.”

“Listen here, mister. If you mess with one of us, you get the whole package,” warned her steaming brother. “If you hurt her—”

Shilo pounded on his chest with one fist as hard as she could and cried out her fury in a jarring scream, because obviously thrashing and tugging wasn’t getting his attention. “The only one hurting me here is you!” she shouted at the top of her lungs.

Her hulking brother glanced down to her suddenly with a look of surprise, realizing how tightly he’d been holding onto her arm, and released her. She nearly stumbled as her weight came down from her tiptoes. Shilo rubbed what was bound to become a bruise and flexed her fingers before making a dive at the telephone.

Hugo had taken the scenic route home while trying to work answers out of her. As such, it had been roughly half an hour since she’d been stuck with the needle. Given her adrenaline, the emergency suppressant formula was wearing off that much faster, and the heat in her desensitized palms was returning as she grappled at him.

He held the phone out of reach and tried to block her. “Shilo, please,” he begged irritably, and in the next moment there was no phone left to fight over as Shilo had obliterated it right out of his palm with a single fizzling shot. It certainly left her brother’s hand smarting.

She whipped around to tear out of the kitchen, her brother barking, “Hey!” after her as she thumped up the stairs, each footstep falling in time with her thudding heart.

Though Shilo was quicker and more agile, whipping up the stairs and around the corner in a flash, it didn’t buy her much time. Hugo was hot on her heels. He reached her in time to snatch her by the backpack as she tried to make a leap of faith from her second-story bedroom window.

“Shilo! What on Earth has gotten into you?” he grunted, dragging his thrashing sibling away from freedom, but her answer came in screams of curses and unintelligible protest.

There was little anyone could do against her brother’s superstrength, but it didn’t stop her from trying. He made the mistake of adjusting his hold on her, trying to hoist the squirming girl under his arm, and it was in the moment he switched hands that she twisted and writhed and slipped out of his grasp.

Without a moment to spare, she made a break for it, slamming her bedroom door behind her. She didn’t look back as she heard the crash and splintered wood scattering into the hallway as he came smashing through the door like an unbridled rodeo bull – paying zero regard to the damage he left in his wake, as usual.

It was probably just a game of chase to him, but she’d never been so afraid of being caught.

Shilo scrambled as the hallway rug slipped beneath her. She barely regained her footing in time to launch herself down the staircase before she could fall headfirst down it. The open front door was just ahead. Just a few more steps, and she could be home free—

A body was crashing into her then, trunks for arms wrapping around her slender frame, plowing her over and just about crushing the air out of her. Her shriek caught in her throat, and then she was wrestling against her hulking brother once more. It was nothing like the play fights they used to have as kids, before he’d gotten his damn superstrength – this wasn’t a harmless tussle. He really didn’t know his own strength, did he? He could snap a human’s spine if he wasn’t careful – hell, she was lucky she was hardier than the average human.

It wasn’t the first time he’d used his advantage of superstrength against her to subdue her, but that had always been to prevent her from going overboard in a battle or something – this – this was him grappling with her to get her wrists behind her back as if she were a criminal resisting arrest, pinning her to the floor at the bottom of the staircase with the glorious freedom of the front door staring her in the face.

She was furious, but a sputter of hot plasma singeing the vigilante only made him swear through grit teeth. Her heart hammered out a deafening beat in her ears.

Cold metal clasped around one wrist and Shilo was wrenched up and back. Before she could do anything about it, her other arm was twisted behind her again, a second metal bracelet clicking into locked position.

Her thundering heart roared protest she couldn’t utter herself even as her lips parted in a snarl, and she didn’t hear whatever she swore at him as he backed off to smooth out his hair and shirt.

Handcuffing her wasn’t going to stop her. He had to know that. Who did he think he was, anyway? He sure as hell wasn’t an officer.

But when Shilo tried to jump up, she only fell back and winced as she struck her head on a post. “What?” She squirmed, throwing a glance behind her as she discovered her brother had tethered her to the last leg of the staircase railing. “Oh, that’s low,” she spat up at him.

It was clear Hugo was at a loss for how to handle her – and he’d already used the pen in the car. He was running out of time. She’d be breaking free soon enough. “This is for your own good,” he insisted, and even she could tell he doubted it himself despite how confident he tried to sound. He began to pace, his hands finding his hair and eyes darting. “I am not letting my little sister disappear with some stranger. No way, no how. This will pass, Shilo,” he went on as if trying to soothe her, though it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself.

Regardless, it only served to sicken her and set her resolution to leave in stone.

“We’ll get you checked out,” he rambled on, a tender way of alluding to a drug test, maybe even rehab. “You’re being unreasonable – it’s a phase—”

Shilo scoffed incredulously, her dry mouth finally working again to form words. “I’m being unreasonable?” she laughed out venomously, nearly shrieking it at him. “You handcuffed me to the staircase!” She tried to kick his ankles, but he was out of reach.

“I will not stand by and let you be kidnapped!” he bellowed back at her, and his own distraught temper made him reel. He pinched the bridge of his nose as if it was absurd this was even up for discussion.

“You kidnapped me! You are literally holding me against my will,” she growled as she picked herself up again to strain forward against the cuffs. “And it’s not abduction if I plan it and go willingly , genius.”

“Well this is a poorly conceived plan!” he criticized hotly, jabbing a finger at her that she wanted to bite off at the knuckle. “And I will not let you execute it.”

Shilo tugged against her restraints, but the railing creaking behind her offered little to no give. At the moment, she didn’t care if the railing or her wrists broke first. She regretted not letting the boys abuse it more by sliding down it like they loved to do – but no, she’d had to be a stringent surrogate mom-sister, and now the damn railing was as sturdy as the day it was installed.

Despite her desperation to break free driving her to heave forward and strain against heating metal cutting into her wrists, Hugo made the foolish mistake of trying to tame her with a gentle hand on her shoulder, trying to guide her back down to the floor. She tried to shrug him away, but when that proved ineffective, she did the next best thing and sank her teeth into his hand instead, locking on and squeezing her eyes tight.

It wasn’t as bad as biting a pointing finger off at the joint, but it was effective in making him reel.

“OW!” Howling, Hugo ripped his hand away with a yelp, but not without leaving a mark. “You bit me! What are you, five?”

“Let me go or I’m pressing charges on your ass!” Shilo threatened. As if anyone would even take her seriously if she reported it. GJ would just ensure it was brushed it under the rug. “This is wrong and you know it.”

Her brother only took a cautious step away, out of reach of anymore bites or kicks. “What do you see in that guy?” he asked in exasperation, grasping at straws.

“Nothing!”

“Then why are you so determined to go with him?”

“Because I want to,” she spat, and resumed throwing herself forward in hopes of loosening the railing to the point of breaking. She slammed herself back against the pole as well, her stuffed backpack padding the impact as she fought to snap something or wriggle something loose, but it was proving futile.

“I need answers here. Are you on something, Shi?” Hugo questioned skeptically. “Is he supplying you—?”

“No!” she denied. A fresh charge grew in her glowing fists as the energy flowed back to her, and she continued to fight against the restraints. Her wrists were sure to be marred from this. “I already told you,” she snarled, stamping a foot, “it’s you guys. I can’t take you controlling me anymore. Having freak powers doesn’t mean I have to be a hero, I don’t want to play the mom, I don’t want to be bossed around by you – I don’t – I’m sick of you all!” Amidst her fury, tears stung her eyes and threatened to humiliate her further. “Now I have a way out, and here you think you have the right to stop me? I’m a legal adult, idiot, and you aren’t the boss of me anymore,” she explained grimly, as calmly as she could through the rising panic and a rock in her throat about to choke her. “I can do whatever I want!”

Her big brother stood wordless for a second as the reality of what exactly he was doing began to really sink in. She saw it in his eyes as he looked toward the cuffs anchoring her to the staircase. But then he shook his head as if to remind himself how certain he was that he was doing the right thing. “No. This will pass,” he repeated firmly. “You’ll thank me later.”

He’d eat those words.

Shilo’s livid glare darkened. If looks could kill. Her brother braced himself when the jade glow behind her back flared brightly and she curled her lip. “No I WON’T!” she shouted, palms blazing hot as she opened them up to release a blast straight into the thick wooden post. As if struck by a bolt of lightning, it splintered with a crackle and pop, sending wooden shrapnel flying.

She might still be cuffed, but at least she wasn’t bound down anymore.

She dodged as Hugo lunged at her. Evading the paws swiping at her, she hastily writhed to twist her arms up and over, contorting to bring her trapped wrists to the front of her – which was so much easier in her head. She didn’t have time to blame difficulty on the go-bag on her back. She charged another blast and raised her hands up to swing it at his chest like a ball to knock him free of the doorway, but before she could launch it, her big brother flung himself at her again in the attempt to wrangle her back into custody.

As he plowed into the dismayed superhuman, her hands came down in the wrong spot at the wrong time, and before she could recall or redirect it, the blast discharged pointblank against her brother’s head.

The blow was enough to knock the wind out of herself and singe her sweater, even with a skull between her weaponized hands and her midriff. Somehow Shilo was still standing, though her knees threatened to buckle under the weight as her brother’s arms went limp around her waist and his hulking body collapsed to the floor with a thud that shook the house.

Stunned, Shilo stumbled back on wobbly legs. The glow from her hands was snuffed out entirely in her fists as she stared down in horror at her brother lying motionless at her feet. Her gaze trailed from him to her trembling hands still cuffed together, and the panicked realization formed in her head. If abandoning her family didn’t feel like treason, then using potentially lethal force against one of her own sure as hell did.

She didn’t take her eyes off her brother as she shuffled slowly back.

He was just knocked out cold – he had to be. He’d get up in a minute – but she didn’t want to be here when he did. She wasn’t leaving her baby brothers another step closer to total orphans with no one to guide them, and she certainly hadn’t just killed her big brother. Should she check for a pulse? She’d call an ambulance if she hadn’t already obliterated the kitchen phone. There was blood glistening in his hair. Was he still breathing?

Shilo’s heart was fluttered wildly like a trapped bird and her head felt light.

A resonating beep-beep suddenly shattered her shell-shocked spell, and she whipped around to face the open door.

Villain or otherwise, Dr. Drakken’s sketchy black SUV idling out front was a blessing in disguise, come to whisk her away from her own personal hell.

Her feet felt like lead, but she forced herself to move anyway, breaking into a mad dash across the lawn before she knew it and wrenching open the door to dive in, laying claim to shotgun by default. The henchmen in the back all stared at her with different levels of surprise, eyes on the handcuffs.

“Ready to take you up on your offer!” she declared, breathless as she buckled herself in awkwardly. “Step on it. Just get me as far from here as possible, now.”

Dr. Drakken obliged. It didn’t take a genius to grasp the urgency of her request.

The henchmen hovering behind her didn’t dare ask questions. Shego was thankful for that. As she fished around in her utility pouch for an extra bobby pin, she was also thankful she’d never found the chance to change out of her uniform and disguise from yesterday’s mission to the geek lab, otherwise she wouldn’t have brought the damn handy suit along at all. Hell, her gloves and mask were still shoved under the seat, where she’d forgotten them yesterday.

She tried to ignore Dr. Drakken’s gaze straying from the road to her bruising wrists as she freed herself from warped metal restrains and tossed her backpack to the floor. Rubbing her new sores, she settled into silence, glaring intently ahead at the dash until his voice made her jump.

He finally spoke up with a simple question, “Are you sure?”

She blinked away her stupor and clamped her mouth shut tight as she noticed they were moments away from the last intersection before the onramp to the freeway. Giving her a last-minute chance to change her mind was awful chivalrous of a crook. She waited until they had reached the onramp before shrugging and answering, “No turning back now.”

There was no rejoicing to be had over the addition to their ranks. Only a solemn quiet filled with the hum of the engine and the ambience of the freeway.

The interstate arched away from the coastline, destined to take them blessedly far away. Shego leaned her head against the window as she watched her hometown in the mirror dwindle behind her and finally out of sight. She’d call herself lucky if she never had to see it or face the people residing there ever again.

A/N:

But wait - there's more! Hahh. Story continues in The Company You Keep.

#wow posting to Tumblr is a bitch but dagnabbit Tumblr is my home and I refuse to give it up.#Drakken #Shego #fanfic #Devil Wears a Suit and Tie fic

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 5 years

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Can we just talk about this for a second?

Dear God, I love this moment. I love it so, so much. Previously to this I had already headcanoned Mason as aromantic, and this sealed the deal for me. But whatever his romantic or sexual orientation, this is a hugely important moment in storytelling.

Because I cannot tell you how many times someone is a playboy. The guy who can have any person in his bed that he wants (if it’s a woman they tend to go for the ‘lonely bossy executive obsessed with work’ type which is… a whole other issue). But his life is empty. The endless parade of beautiful people means nothing to him. And then bam, he discovers The One. The One person who is special and different and it’s violins and roses and happily ever after and marriage.

It’s one of the many examples of how much goddamn emphasis we put on romance. How romance completes you, heals you, how romance is the end all and be all form of love. But newsflash? It’s not. Romantic love is beautiful, but it can’t be the only love in your life. You need more than one person in your life. You need friends and family. It wasn’t romance that saved me when I was suicidal, it was my mother’s love. It was the love of my friends. If I die without finding a life partner, I won’t be dying ‘alone’. Because I have friends and family who love me. I might be single romantically, but I’m sure as hell not alone, and I’m far from loveless.

And here—here we get someone who explicitly talks about how he found love that saved him and gave him meaning… but it wasn’t romantic love. It was parental love, for Rufus.

Mason flew across the globe to come to Rufus when Rufus was breaking down at MIT. He saw himself in Rufus and he mentored him and came to love him as his family. He’s not always perfect in how he expresses that love—his behavior in season one is rather sketch—but season two especially does a good job of showing Mason and Rufus’s close mentor-protégé, father-son dynamic.

For once, for once, romantic love didn’t save the day or the person. Familial/platonic love did. And I think that’s fucking beautiful.

To circle back to the aromantic idea, I do think that this also tells us—not explicitly but as explicitly as we’ll ever get—that Mason is aro. Mason is the only person on the show who has never felt sexual or romantic attraction to anyone (we could debate about Emma and whether she was genuinely attracted to Nicholas or just playing him, I admit that is a gray area, so setting that aside) but we are given several comments that show he has had sex before and presumably enjoyed it—such as in this very scene where he talks about having any number of women in his bed.

But Mason states that he has never understood or felt real love. I’m praying this means in his adulthood and that he had a good family life growing up but we don’t know that. All we know is that he’s never once shown any romantic attraction to anyone on screen, and states to Denise here that he never has done so in his past, either. In fact he felt like something was missing, something was off about him, something was wrong—a way that many ace and aro people describe themselves as feeling.

And finding Rufus and coming to care for him, that was enough for Mason. He didn’t go looking for a life partner. He didn’t say, “I love Rufus as my son but I would also like a wife/husband person to go with that.” He said, “huh, this is love, this is what was missing, this is my family and it’s all I need.” In short, he found familial love and stopped looking for any other kind of love.

Now, I’m biromantic as well as bisexual. I don’t know if I’ll ever have a life partner and if I don’t ever get one, I think I’ll be okay. I know it’s not the end all be all of my life. But do I want a romantic relationship? Yes. I admit that I daydream about that, and have since I was a kid. I haven’t always actively sought one out—in fact, when I was a teenager I specifically didn’t want a romantic relationship until I was older, and have stated several times to matchmaking friends that I’m not going to look for a romantic relationship, if I’m meant to be with someone then the universe will give me a goddamn meet cute or make us coworkers or something. But the fact remains that whether I go out to bars or swipe right looking for The One, I do want a romantic life partner. I’ve found friends and family, but that hasn’t stopped me from wanting romantic love as well.

Mason, however, stopped. He in fact never once even talks about wanting a romantic partner, and he doesn’t talk about dating, or wanting to date. Mason is the only character with no romantic arc. Yes, even Carol has one—hers is just in the past, with Cahill and Henry. But Carol’s romantic choices have huge effects on the present day storyline. Emma and Nicholas use romance to manipulate each other. Denise’s romance with Michelle is then used to inspire her younger self to keep fighting for the life she wants. Jiya and Rufus’s romance is epic and fights against fate and death itself. And we all know the Jess-Wyatt-Lucy-Flynn mess that came to a head in season two.

But Mason doesn’t get anything. Not even a mention of an ex, or a passing flirtation. He’s the only non-romantically attached Time Traveler who doesn’t flirt with a historical character (Flynn is another exception but he’s a) a grieving widower and b) head over heels for Lucy, both of which count as ‘romantically attached’). Even Rufus, who is in love with Jiya and dating her, expresses moments of attraction to Josephine Baker and Hedy Lamarr—which being a good and loyal man he never even dreams of acting on, but he does acknowledge them. Mason, however, gets hero worship instead.

In a show rife with romantic tension and romantic storylines, this is telling. In fact a big criticism of season two is that it focuses too much on the love square of Jess-Wyatt-Lucy-Flynn and not enough on actual Rittenhouse. It also introduces the cringe-worthy romance between Nicholas and Emma (again I think they were both trying to play each other but that’s my personal interpretation). But Mason, and Mason alone, gets nothing.

That sounds like I’m saying Mason was left out in the rain and I’m not saying that at all. I’m pointing out that in a season filled with love declarations (I can count at least eight off the top of my head), Mason’s Big Damn Declaration is about the man that he states he views as a son.

I think that’s important, because it shows how we need platonic and familial love as well as romantic. I think that’s important, because it shows how non-romantic love can save us just as well as a ‘significant other’. I think that’s important, because not all of us are in a place where we can be in a romantic relationship, and it’s not wrong to hold off on that or to feel fine without one. Whatever your sexuality or romantic orientation, I think that’s important.

But for me, it also seals the deal that Connor Mason is a wonderful, nuanced, flawed, complicated, human, and aromantic person. And that’s how I will be headcanoning him until the end of time, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#timeless #timeless meta #connor mason #I was gonna post this like last week #but then took a break from tumblr #sorry not sorry #for spamming you all with Timeless meta

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study-thestorm-blog · 5 years

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Divorce, and why it’s needed

I saw this⬇️⬇️ gem on Twitter, and it inspired this post

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

Here is my story on how divorce changed my life, and how I am eternally grateful it happened.

This post is incredibly triggering, so, if you have any triggers as far as sexual abuse, violence, please stop now. It’s also revealing an incredibly vulnerable place within myself, so please, be understanding. This is taking a lot of bravery..

I was 3 when my mom, and my biological father divorced. We will call him GW for short, also to not release names. (trust me I’ve dragged him enough :) ) he is also the reason I am skeptical about a certain religion. I’m not dragging the religion, I’m dragging him for making a mockery of it.

I know what you’re thinking,

“Omg, 3, that’s so young, what all could you AcTuAlLy remember????” Well, newsflash Kendra, traumatic memories weigh heavier on the young mind than wholesome ones. So, buckle up.

My mom is an angel, I don’t know what I would do without her. She single handedly saved me from a monster I know as my father. She packed up in the middle of the night, just the basics, and left, to save my brother and I from any more toxicity that might have ensued with any more time in the home with him. (I know, “toxic”.... so basic....?)

My father has some psychological issues deep within himself (no excuse), I would even go as far to say he is a narcissistic sociopath. He, of course, hasn’t been diagnosed, but he is textbook. He was incredibly physically abusive to us, as well as emotionally abusive. I remember things as far back as my 1st birthday. That’s 2 years of living in the same house. The abuse goes further back than that, though. It began when I was a newborn, really. From having ridiculous expectations of toddlers to operate like miniature adults, to drawing blood on the blows that were taken. His idea of family time was that the kids were required to sit down, shut up, and watch documentaries (????) or we would feel the consequences. I mean, it wasn’t even us that would specifically take the beatings, he would (and I mean literally) beat the feces out of the dog.. for not relieving herself in a small piece of grass he designated for her. She went on to live her life as an incredibly skittish pupper.

My mom saw the abuse that was happening, and she knew what she had to do, but of course leaving is always easier said than done, especially when the individual you are leaving is a borderline killer. But, she knew that the chance at a better life she would be giving us by leaving far outweighed the chance of her being hurt, or killed. And for that, I am incredibly grateful. (Essentially, she knowingly risked her life to save ours)

We moved into a small condo in Hollywood beach, CA. I have some pretty good memories there (I want to say the most emotionally scarring thing to happen to me there was me trying to use the big girl potty, and my dress got wet, lol)

My mom made sure our lives post-Oxnard, CA house were great. And she succeeded. I didn’t know then what the significance of our innocent smiles held, and what they meant to her. I don’t think you really understand that, the true significance, until you’ve been through hell and back, and the one thing holding you together day in and day out is the sweet voice of your children saying “I love you mommy, you’re the best mommy ever.” after a long day of “what if’s”, after you realize your soon-to-be ex husband is outside your house, stalking you and your children. GW got regular visitation with us, even before a court order was placed. He continued to stalk, even when we were at his house. We would be left unattended quite often.

I guess I never realized until now just how scary each moment of her life was, how truly difficult it was to sleep, until she finally was granted permission to leave the state of California with us. She spent every second ensuring we got as normal of a childhood as we could have, in the midst of ensuring we had the safest childhood we could have. (Mama, if you’re reading this, especially this far, I love you, thank you.)

Even after the sexual assault that was witnessed by us, (no, I will not release details. It’s still an incredibly raw subject. Incredibly triggering) she did not miss a beat of being the best mama ever. I truly do not remember her taking the day just to have a mental health day. I was too young to understand then what strength she would have to muster daily. But, I know now, and I can say that it leaves me speechless, the strength she displayed, and the love she continued to give us.

After this, we fled the state of California. We would move into my nana, and papa’s home in Jacksonville, Florida. Here is where my mom swore up and down she would never remarry, and I cannot say I blame her. I would have felt the same. She wasted no time getting a job to provide for her children. But, this time was also a confusing time for me, because I didn’t know then why my mom was dreading flying to California, after it had been depicted on television to be this land of riches, and happiness. I later learned it was to settle the divorce, and the custody agreement, as well as sort through sexual assault charges.

After what felt like a year (I was 4, it was probably a bit longer, or shorter, who knows, not me.) she met someone that I saw she laughed a lot with, she smiled from ear to ear with him, and her face lit up at the sound of his name. She came home after every date with almost an aura lit around her, she just beamed happiness. We eventually got to meet him. The warmth that radiated from her when she presented this new individual to us was incomparable. We would come to know him as Brian. My stepdad.

He treated my brother and I like gold, and made sure to treat my mother the same both in our presence and behind closed doors. They married in November of 2003. Her happiness and beam of light when his name comes across in conversation, or even with the presence of him in a room has not waivered, and I don’t think it will. He boasted the same aura when she walked in, or was spoken of. This, the second marriage, was when I would learn the definition of love, and everything it would be, everything I would look forward to in life. My stepdad, who’s label holds a higher honor in my book than “dad”, saved my mother, just the same way she saved my brother and I, and he gave my brother and I the true definition of an unwaivering father figure. I wish I could repay him, but I don’t think there is a dollar amount that would suffice for what he has done for the 3 of us within just the first years of their marriage, and will continue to do until the day he is laid to rest.

Long story short, divorce is not the evil it is made out to be. Divorce saves individuals, families, from abuse, addiction, and any other toxicity that you, or your children, would not want to endure. Of course, this is not to encourage someone who is not in a tumultuous marriage, but it is a testament of why it should not be viewed so scandalously.

Thanks for reading,

Lauren

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glamourouslife99 · 5 years

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Mama Hen’s Wisdom For A New Year...

It’s a new year, chicks. It’s hard for me to believe that 20 years have passed us by since we WERE partying in the year 1999. I turned 21 that year, and thought I knew it ALL. Let me tell you, chitlin’s- I didn’t know shit. I found out roughly a year ago, a man I was involved with from around February of 1999 until May of 1999, respectively, passed away from cancer. There was a pain in my heart for a moment. Neil wasn’t a *bad* guy exactly, he was just a liar, and I was naïve and fell for it. He told me that he was in the process of getting a divorce, it just wasn’t final. That is WARNING SIGN NUMBER ONE ladies AND gentlemen. 9 out of 10 times, there’s NO divorce pending, and their spouses have NO idea there’s even a problem. He was a football coach at his local high school in another state. We talked every day while I was at work, and nightly on the computer. It just so happens, Mama Hen despite being young and naïve, was no fool. Things just didn’t seem right. Ya’ll trust me, when they don’t feel right- trust your gut. Most of the time, your gut IS right. Back in the late 90’s, emails were easy to hack. I was SICK when I hacked his. He was talking to ALL kinds of women, and there was NO divorce. Talk about a punch in the gut. I was devastated. I was so in love with him, and this man was nothing but a liar. Needless to say, my heart was broken, but I dumped him like a hot potato. Was Neil the ONLY bad decision I made that year? Nah. Not by a LONG shot, but that’s part of being young. You make mistakes. You learn. The problem was, I didn’t have anyone really to help me along. My mother was just a saint. She didn’t drink. She didn’t smoke. She was a virgin when she got married. She did NOTHING. She did EVERYTHING her mother told her to. EVERYTHING. In absolutely NO way could she relate to me. None. Being a teenager, and then young adult was harder than hell with no one to relate to, or help guide me, that’s why you have Mama Hen. Mama Hen is here to break it down to you. I’m going to share with you, what I wish someone would’ve shared with me. You get ONE BODY. Love it. It doesn’t matter what it looks like, how short it is, how tall it is, how thin it is, how fat it is, how much excess skin it has, how dark the skin is, how light the skin is, what color your hair is, or if you have any hair at all. This body is YOURS. No one else has to live in it but YOU. Take care of it the best you can, and advocate for it. Don’t let ANYONE SHAME IT. PERIOD. Anyone who does- fuck them. I once weighed 400lbs. After being diagnosed with PCOS, and getting a proper treatment, I began to lose weight slowly. To this day, I’ve kept off over 180lbs. Do I have excess skin? You bet. Is my body what would be considered beautiful by most? Nope. I’ve got zero fucks to give. I wear a bikini to the pool every summer with my daughter. I want her to see that no matter what, I support body positivity, and that if you want to wear a bikini, put one on. This body has gained 200lbs, and then lost close to it again. This body has carried and given birth to two children. This body has nursed two babies. This body right now is fighting to stay alive through so many chronic pain/illnesses that after living 40 years in this body, I’m going to wear what I want, and do what I want. Don’t let anything stop YOU. Don’t let weight. Don’t let ability. Don’t let what peers at school, work, or family say or think. Don’t let society put you in a box by what they feel YOU should look like. YOU should look like whatever YOU think you should look like. Newsflash, if they don’t like it, they don’t have to fucking look at it. Girlfriend and boyfriend, you have EVERY right to exist on YOUR own terms! Do it! Don’t let anyone stop you! We are sexual beings. Don’t ever let someone shame you for your sexuality or being sexual. DO. NOT. SLUT. SHAME. Do NOT shame those who are choosing NOT be sexually active either. If you’re a virgin in your late teens, in your 20’s, or even later, (for various reasons- be it religious convictions, you haven’t found the right person, or you are DESPERATELY horny! And would jump the first person who said yes!) Don’t be ashamed! Things happen right when they are supposed to. Never be ashamed. I cannot hammer home this point enough- PLEASE, PLEASE- ALWAYS USE SAFER SEX PRACTICES, and USE THEM CORRECTLY! Yes, there are actually right and wrong ways to use birth control/STD prevention methods and devices. Know your status and know the status of your partner. Your life is too important not to.

If you are an ally to a friend someone who is LBGTQ, make sure you put your money where your mouth is. By this, I mean stand up for your friends. Being a young person is hard enough, but our LBGTQ youth (and yes, I know I’m old calling the late teens early 20’s our youth), have struggles those of us who are cisgendered take for granted. It’s a lot more than just wearing a safety pin on our shirts, and protesting at rallies (although, being there with your friends, and protesting makes a difference- keep that shit up). Be there when they need a friend. When you see injustice, speak up, even if your voice shakes. I know not everyone is going to be as outspoken and loud as I am, and that’s ok. (Yes, I’m the as loud and outspoken offline as I am on, probably moreso.)

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life, and don’t let ANYONE else make you feel guilty, either. Life IS about experience. When you’re young, how many people really know what the fuck they wanna do with their life? When I was 21, I had an Insurance License to sell Property/Casualty Insurance, I’d already dropped out of beauty school (I did go back and graduate when I was 24), I’d been working for the cosmetic counter I’d dreamt of since I was a Freshman in high school for 3 years, bought the car of my dreams 2 years before, and you know what? I felt completely lost. Had NO idea what I wanted to do. I got married at age 24. Had my first child at age 30. My second at age 35. Was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, tested positive for Lupus/RA, and began having severe Acute Intermittent Porphyria Attacks at age 40. I’m not going to sugar coat anything. I’m dying. I’m 40 years old, and I’m dying. You know, there were a lot of things I *wanted* to do, but I never knew exactly what I wanted to *do* with my life. Time is short. Don’t let people guilt you into doing something you aren’t happy with and you don’t want to do.

That leads me to my next point to hammer home. Don’t put up with abuse- ANY KIND OF ABUSE. Physical, mental, sexual, verbal, or emotional. You are a human being. You have worth. You do NOT deserve to be abused. I don’t care what happened in the past. I don’t care what you’ve done. You do NOT deserve to be hit- you never did. You do NOT deserve to be used sexually/raped/molested- you never did. You do not deserve to be manipulated into doing what someone says for their happiness if it makes you miserable- not now, not ever. You do not deserve to live on eggshells for fear of making someone mad/fearing their anger, or the living hell of the verbal/emotional abuse you’ll take for doing something wrong in their eyes. You don’t deserve that now, you never did. HEAR ME NOW. YOU DO NOT DESERVE ABUSE beautiful young people (and old alike). You do NOT DESERVE ABUSE. Please know your worth. Please know you are loved.

Be kind, but take no shit. I’m from the south. Those of you who are reading this and are from the Southern, US know what I’m talking about. We like our manners down here. We like to say, “Please”, and “Thank you”, “Yes ma’am”, “No ma’am”- you get the picture. We try to be kind to people. We’re the kind of people who will greet you with a smile and try to be helpful and friendly. I like people. I’m a social person by nature, and I do what I can to be a good friend. I’ve said this on more than one occasion, I’m not for everyone, and that’s ok, too. It doesn’t ruffle Mama Hen’s feathers. If we don’t jive, I wish ya well in life, I do. The thing is, I’m not gonna take your shit. I’m the nicest person you’ll ever meet, but never mistake my kindness for weakness. I’ll call you out every time. I don’t take shit. I’m not going to let anyone walk all over me. I didn’t do it at work. I don’t do it at home. I could make a “Sam I am” outta this. You see where I’m going with this. Don’t let people walk all over you. Be kind. Be a friend as best you can, but don’t take shit. Nip it in the bud. The quicker you stop it, the less drama you have to deal with. No one has time for drama. The older you get, the less time and tolerance you’ll have for drama.

Take care of your health. When you’re young, it’s not something you think about. Trust me, I NEVER thought about it. It never crossed my mind at 21. At 21, I never thought I’d be looking at 41, wondering how much time I had left. I never thought at 41, I would’ve already buried 10 of my friends and family members, all under the age of 45 before I turned 41. I thought we’d live forever. I never thought I’d get sick. Go for your yearly physical. Take a multivitamin. Drink your water. Little things can make a big difference.

Practice what you preach. Whatever you are, be a good one. If you’re a out there fighting for change, make it happen the best way you can. If you’re wanting peace, what are you doing to make it happen? If you’re a Christian (and yes, I am), are you taking that “Love One Another Thing” seriously? Remember, it came with no exclusions, that means the people fleeing over the border, our LBGTQ brothers and sisters, the homeless, the hungry, and that person you don’t like in the cubical next to you.

No one is useless. You might feel like you are useless, as if you have no purpose in this world. This is simply not true. If you’re breathing, you’ve got a purpose. So what if you’re not a Harvard Scholar? If you are, that is terrific! I salute you, and I’m proud of you! If you aren’t, that is terrific, and I’m proud of YOU, too! We all have gifts in this world, and we all have something to offer. You may have the gift of simply listening when a friend needs someone to talk to. You may be a gifted artist, who can sketch/draw/paint/craft/sculpt/MORE! You may be a creative person who has a gift for putting words to paper, so to speak, by writing short stories, fan fiction, novels/novellas, scripts- the possibilities are endless! You may be an empathetic person who has the gift of compassion, you may be someone who isn’t able to leave your home, but can offer gifts by support in groups. These are just a few of the MANY, MANY things in this great world, that connect us all. How many people here, on Tumblr have reached out to someone needing help, or found a common interest that has connected them? No one is useless. You have worth. Never let anyone diminish your light. If someone fails to see it, don’t let it extinguish the light inside of YOU.

Take time to take care of your mental health, it’s important. Not everyone has mental health issues, but it’s important to take time for your mental health for self-care to keep yourself in a good place. Take time regularly to do something that makes you happy, and makes you feel alive. Staying in a good frame of mind, and happy is something that is so important. It doesn’t have to be grand, it doesn’t have to be expensive. It can be something as simple as having a friend come over and watch tv, or going for a walk in the park, going to the club on Friday night, or even staying in for a quiet night and taking a bubble bath- whatever YOUR idea of a good time is, do it.

For those who are living with mental health issues- don’t EVER, and I mean EVER let ANYONE tell you, “It’s All In Your Head”, or shame you for your conditions. Don’t EVER let ANYONE shame you for taking your medications. Hold your head up high, and look them RIGHT in the eye and ask them, “Would you tell an insulin dependent diabetic, “You don’t need that insulin, you can (fill in the blank here IE: pray away, positive think away, new diet away, essential oil away, excuse of the day) that diabetes! Of course not! Why would you think that I don’t need my medication for (your mental illness)” They shouldn’t have a rebuttal. Because it’s ridiculous. I live with several mental illnesses. My mother was NOT understanding. At all. She refused to believe I had Borderline Personality Disorder. She acknowledged I had PTSD, but that was just about it. She treated me horrible. I mean horrible. I’m not going to get into all of that right now- but I refused to take it. I put myself, my health, and my family first. I had to. I took my medication as prescribed. I went to therapy regularly. I use my coping skills and do the best I can. I’m sure as hell not perfect, that’s for sure. Don’t let anyone make you think it’s all in your head, or however you need to heal isn’t ok. Do what YOU need to do, to be ok. Surround yourself with people who are loving and supportive. They are your tribe.

Don’t be in a rush to get married. Just because your friends are all getting married and having babies, don’t feel like YOU have to, too! Yeah, I know “Say yes to the dress!” is AWESOME! I LOVE me some Lori and Monte, too! My best friend Heather and I had been planning out our respective weddings since we were 8, the grooms constantly changed, but one thing was certain- we wanted BIG. SOUTHERN. WEDDINGS! I wanted to get married more than ANYTHING and wear a beautiful gown, and carry a gorgeous bouquet, and all that stuff! Ya’ll, don’t be in ANY hurry. Please, do NOT get me wrong, I love my husband. We just celebrated our 16th anniversary on December 31st. It’s been a rough road, anything BUT a fairy tale, that’s for damn sure. We’ve had our ups and downs and taken us a LONG time to get it right. I’m thankful to have my husband, I truly am. I’m sad that right now I’m at a point in my life where I spend most of my days in bed, or going from doctor to doctor, in and out of the hospital. When you get married, you sign up for that better or worse, in sickness and in health thing, and trust me, I’ve been through a LOT of that better or worse, and right now, we’re going through the in sickness and in health thing. You go through a LOT when you’re married. Not all marriages are like mine by any means. Some are SO much better, some are SO much worse, some are right in the middle. If it weren’t for me being so sick, we’d be in such a great place. We’d be broke as hell, but in a great place, none the less. The older you get, the more you realize money is nice. You need it pay the bills, eat, all that jazz, but you don’t need the material things half as much as you do the people you love. Focus on loving you, FIRST. THEN, worry about getting married. I promise you, you can STILL have that kick ass GORGEOUS wedding at age 30, OR 40. And God forbid you’re worried about your dress, buy it now and put it back. I’m not one who is ever opposed to planning ahead.

Alright, Mama Hen’s hip is hurting, so I’m gonna have to get my old ass up and walk. I love ya’ll. I wanted to share some of my words of wisdom for the New Year with my chicks. My inbox is open, but it might take me a few days here and there to reply. My health isn’t the greatest, so depending upon the day I may or may not be on. I hope at least you gained some of the insight that I wished someone had given me 20 years ago.

Love,

--Mama Hen

#Mama Hen #Words of Wisdom #1999 #Advice

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avengcrwanda · 6 years

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TLJ Commentary

This is just my compilation of the different responses I had to folks who were sharing their metas/interpretations on The Last Jedi. Mainly for my reference since I might do a review/analysis in the future once I’ve got a copy of the bluray.

This will cover the following:

Finn and Rose in Canto Bight is not a useless arc.

Hux and why he can be a Big Bad.

Kylo/Ben and why he’s wrong on “letting the past die.”

Kylo/Ben is not worse than Anakin/Vader, like some people want to believe.

Kylo/Ben was let down by his family, but that doesn’t mean they are bad people.

Paige Tico - she is important.

Poe and his reaction to Holdo’s plan.

Rey’s parentage and why she really is a nobody.

Note: If you choose to read this, please keep in mind that this is my opinion and reflects how I read the movie. You can have a different interpretation.

1. Finn and Rose’s adventure in Canto Bight is not a useless arc, and highlights that we shouldn’t be viewing Star Wars as black and white. Originally posted here, in response to grejedi’s commentary here. @darth--darcy had some awesome points to add which you can find here.

The Canto Bight arc showed us several points: (1) that when you choose neutrality (just like DJ), you choose the side of the oppressor; and (2) that the good guy-bad guy dynamic depends on your point of view. Let’s focus on the second point.

Finn and the Resistance view the First Order as the Bad Guys; therefore, the Resistance is the group of the Good Guys. This is true to a certain extent - after all, the First Order somewhat represents oppression and fascism. But when the Resistance defeats them and the Good Guys win - what happens next? New government, another New Republic. Will it be a rehash of the Rebellion defeating the Empire? And then another form of the FO comes popping out? If I recall correctly, the new government/New Republic didn’t exactly live up to their promises and bring peace to the galaxy. There were still corrupt senators, and the system they established allowed the FO to breed in the first place. And their same system allowed the Canto Bight folks to profit from selling weapons. (And for a bigger picture – Jakku seemed like a forgotten town, with folks there suffering from extreme poverty. Didn’t they care about them?)

Both the FO and the Resistance (as well as the old Rebellion) contributed to the hardships of the galaxy. And maybe both have something good to fight for. Maybe instead of an all-out weapons war, these two groups could meet in the middle. Balance, anyone?

If you recall what Luke said in the teasers, “It’s so much bigger.” He was probably referring to the force, but I think it applies to the whole war as well. I try to understand that maybe some folks just do a surface read and walk away with incomplete tidbits and say, “Oh this is just another war movie: the Resistance is the underdog we must cheer for and Kylo and the rest of the FO are the oppressors the underdog must completely eliminate.”

But - newsflash - even real-life war isn’t so black and white. People need to dig deeper and understand - why did the war start in the first place? Were the "winners” really justified? What were the “losers” fighting for anyway? Because if we just take it at face value - “Oh, this group won because they were fighting for the good thing. Everything else from the losing side is garbage.” - we will just repeat the cycle. If the root cause isn’t addressed, the future will just be the same; the new government will again be ineffective and another insurgent faction will creep up.

Even the characters aren’t so black and white. The sequel trilogy wants its viewers to think and question what we know. Example: Luke, Leia, and Han.

One of the major beefs of the fans of the OT - and I know this has made countless rounds online - is that the original heroes didn’t turn out how they expected, i.e. always pure and good. “Luke was a hero at the end of the OT, he should remain a hero for the rest of his life. Leia and Han resolved their differences and got together, they deserve their happily ever after.” And to go against this will be out of character for them.

But what they need to realize is that people change and evolve depending on their experiences. The major characters of Star Wars weren’t meant to be one-dimensional. How boring will that be? Heroes can’t make good decisions all the time. We must give them room to make mistakes.

People make mistakes. People make bad decisions. People fall off from the high pedestals some put them on. We must be able to accept this. The way they wrote Luke, Leia, and Han made the characters very relatable – they’re people who make mistakes and bad decisions. Han AND Luke were able to accept this before they died. They knew that they failed Ben and confronted and apologized to him for it. And they moved on. But some viewers haven’t, apparently.

2. Just because Hux is not a Force user, and that he had some comedic moments in TLJ, does not mean he cannot be a Big Bad in Episode IX. Originally posted here, in response to daxcat79’s and i-live-in-the-reylo-moon’s post here.

While he had a lot of comedic moments in TLJ, you have to give Hux credit.

It’s been mentioned in various sources and by a number of folks that Hux is cutthroat and ambitious. He also has a delicate ego and is very sneaky. I believe the TLJ Visual Dictionary even states that he has an assassin on command – and that this assassin is afraid of Hux himself.

A see a lot of folks saying that Hux is weak and won’t be able to kill/plot against Kylo/Ben because he doesn’t have control over the Force. But recall Order 66? All those clones did not have any ounce of Firce power yet they were able to successfully eliminate most of the Jedi. The element of surprise + sheer numbers – I bet Hux has control over the First Order officers and troopers – can overpower even the most skilled Force user.

Personally, it will be interesting to see a big bad who cannot use the Force. Just like the Rey heroes-can-come-from-anywhere storyline, Hux can be the villans-can-come-from-anywhere one.

3. Kylo/Ben’s view of letting his past die is actually hurting him rather than making him move on. Originally posted here, in response to reylo11’s post here.

The only way to go forward is to embrace the past, figure out what is good and what is not good about it. But it’s never going to not be a part of who we all are.

This is what Kylo/Ben needs to realize. I feel that he struggles so much with himself because he’s so intent on killing his past (“Let the past die.”), even doing so literally. He wants to create a new version of himself by forgetting where he came from. He looks at his past with so much hatred. I understand that it wasn’t all fun and rainbows given that his parents abandoned him and his uncle and master tried to off him in his sleep (at least from his point of view). But instead of him accepting these experiences, he wants to throw them away as if they never happened. Because his view is these experiences make him weak.

Those who do not know how to look back to their past will not arrive at their future. One has to be able to look back into your past and accept all your experiences if you want to be the best person you can be.

We are made up of all our experiences, even the shitty ones we want to forget. They build character and make us a stronger person. The good things and the bad all contribute to our character. Kylo/Ben needs to accept this so he can finally decide what his future will be.

4. Kylo/Ben is not worse than Anakin/Vader. Originally posted here, in response to @renperor-of-the-galaxy’s post here.

Until the novelization comes out, we probably wouldn’t know what really happened in Luke’s Jedi temple. We just know that (1) Luke thought about offing Ben while he was asleep; (2) Ben misinterpreted Luke’s action as a definite attempt to murder; (3) Ben brought down the hut, rendering Luke unconscious; and (4) By the time Luke woke up, his temple was burning, some of his students were dead, and Ben was gone with a number of his other students.

It’s possible that Ben killed his fellow padawans/knights. It’s possible that he didn’t – maybe the two groups of students just fought it out. The thing is, we don’t know for sure. While Ben is known as “The Jedi Killer,” this could also be based off rumours.

To say that he is worse than Anakin/Vader isn’t quite right. Remember the scene in ROTS where the younglings looked up to Anakin while the temple was being attacked? “Master Skywalker, there’s too many of them. What do we do?” The younglings were so relieved to see him and then Anakin suddenly ignites his lightsaber. They were completely defenceless.

Now, versus Luke’s students – we don’t know if there were younglings. We don’t know if they were defenceless. If we go by the Visual Dictionary, it looks like they were Ben’s age, so would have been able to fight.

To sum it all up – calling Kylo/Ben worse than Anakin/Vader is premature.

5. On Ben’s family, and how it doesn’t mean they are bad people. Originally posted here, in response to a longer thread here (commentary by shallowlethargy, a-heart-of-kyber, and renpressrey).

There’s a difference between calling Luke, Leia, and Han as bad people vs bad parents. Antis need to understand this. Even good people - and heroes - make mistakes. For the Skywalker-Solos, it translated to not being there for Ben enough when he needed love and guidance.

To Antis saying Ben is a grown ass man so he should know better - not necessarily. His formative years weren’t exactly fun and nurturing: parents busy with other things, culminating with (from his POV) attempted murder from his uncle/second father figure could mess someone up. Add in Snoke to the mix and you have a very troubled person (which Kylo/Ben is).

He is still very conflicted (pull to the light, etc.) so this makes me believe he is inherently a good person. It’s just hard for him to reconcile this because of his experiences: the people on the “good” side (his family) didn’t exactly treat him right AND he has Snoke constantly whispering in his head. In a sense, he was sort of conditioned to act a certain way, which is very hard to break, no matter how old you are.

6. Paige Tico is also important. Snippet originally posted here.

I feel like Paige isn’t being talked about enough. Not gonna lie - I was so emotionally invested in Paige. Her death is the second saddest moment of the film for me, after the Reylo throne room conversation.

She gives a face to all the forgotten less-than-side characters who sacrifice themselves so the heroes can go save the day. Versus Holdo, who is a high ranking official, she shows that even the ordinary folks are able to contribute to the big picture.

7. Poe’s big lesson on trust. Originally posted here, in response to a longer thread here (commentary by hunterinabrowncoat, whtwlf, frozenmusings).

TRUST was really a big lesson for Poe.

Some people are complaining that Holdo just should have told everyone of her plan. From an audience standpoint, this would make the most sense; as a viewer, we won’t question the decision, right? And maybe we expect the characters/Holdo’s subordinates to do the same.

But the members of the Resistance are active participants in this. There’s a chance they won’t just “go with the flow.” There will be arguments, just like what happened with Poe. The mutiny could have happened earlier, and the Resistance will still be in a bad shape.

With the clock ticking on the Resistance, they just couldn’t afford drawn out discussions on what to do. Holdo had every right to make an executive decision. Given her rank and experience, as well as that of her team, she more or less knows the direction she should be going.

And guys, this happens in real life, too. You don’t have the leadership teams of various organizations (even non-military ones) broadcasting each and every detail of the plans they have as they go along. There may be a right time for this.

8. On Rey’s parentage. Originally posted here, in response to skysilencer’s analysis here.

Earlier in the movie (shirtless Force Bond scene), Kylo/Ben tells Rey that she can’t stop needing her parents who threw her away like garbage - “It’s your greatest weakness.” And this is true. Rey wanted to go back to Jakku, a backwater planet, because she’s still holding on to the idea of her parents coming back. She was willing to throw away her future and her potential because of this weakness.

As stated above, the delivery (especially the throne room) wasn’t exactly great, but it helped push Rey into the path of acceptance and moving on. I think a lot of people miss that she was the first one to admit that her parents were nobody. And what Kylo/Ben is telling her is that it is okay - okay that she doesn’t have a big background, okay that she doesn’t come from famous parents. And it’s great that she can now move on from the past! She defeated this weakness and can be what she was meant to be, so to speak.

Rian says, “If the answer presented to her was, ‘Your parents are so-and-so, here you go, here’s your place in this story.’ That would be the easiest thing for her to hear. And easiest thing for us to hear! Wish fulfilment. It’s like, ‘Oh, great! That’s who I am. That’s that.’ The hardest thing she could hear is, 'No, you’re not going to get that answer, that definition.’”

A lot of people were shocked over the reveal, which I guess was the point. As mentioned by Skysilencer above (and in other metas), the whole movie was about failure and subverting everyone’s expectations. A lot of folks expected Rey to come from somewhere - just like Rey was in denial and that her parents were coming back - and by revealing that she doesn’t come from an important family, we share her pain.

As talked in this article, Rey is on a journey of self-discovery. Her bigger conflict is not the current war of the First Order vs the galaxy - it’s figuring out who she is and what her place in the story is. To quote from the article, “To have her learn some kind of easy answer about a noble ancestry would not only immediately zap away that important conflict, but would also totally freeze and dismantle her important journey of self-discovery. Without the simple explanation, the heroine must stand on her own and carve out her own path, rather than just follow one already carved out for her.”

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cherrettephineus97 · 4 years

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What To Text An Ex Boyfriend To Get Him Back Surprising Ideas

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Ex Comes Back After 10 Years

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How To Get A Ex Back

#What To Text An Ex Boyfriend To Get Him Back Surprising Ideas #How Long Until My Ex Wants Me Back

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luciana-galvez · 7 years

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I’m not the bad guy | Part V

When Troy finds you in the desert and takes you to the farm, you don’t know what to make of the intense man with the piercing eyes, and you understand even less why you’re so drawn to him. Is he as messed up as he seems to be, or is there something more beneath the surface?

Fandom: Fear The Walking Dead

Words: ~1600

Pairing: Troy Otto x reader

Warnings: None

Note: There’s a lot of direct quotes from the episode in this one & not as much happening as in the last parts, but I just needed this part as a foundation/build-up for the next few parts, so bear with me :)

Masterlist

You half walked, half dragged yourself along the small gravel road. Your face was a constant grimace of pain, because peddles and sharp stones kept pushing into the bare soles of your feet, drawing blood. You did not complain though, everyone around you was suffering the same.

“We need to stop,” Madison said eventually, walking next to you.

“We’re not stopping,” Troy said sternly from the front of the group, and just like that, the conversation was over.

It had been over a week since you had your talk with Madison and Nick, and especially right now you wished you could turn back time.

Alicia and Jake had come back the day after, carrying Nick’s girlfriend. The helicopter had been shot down. Charlene was dead. Travis was dead. The whole group that had been send after the helicopter a couple of days later was dead. You were part of the group that was checking what happened, and you had found them at the outpost. The smell of the place, and all the dead bodies, still gave you shivers. They had been killed by a man named Walker, who showed up when you were about to leave, and he and his men took your weapons, your cars, your backpacks, even your shoes.

And Troy….you hadn’t really talked to Troy since the night you had found out what had almost happened to you at the border. He had tried to talk to you a couple of times since, but you had brushed him off, saying you needed space, saying you didn’t have anything to say to him. You didn’t show up at his door anymore at night, and he did not come back either.

The truth was, you weren’t necessarily upset about the experiments. In his own weird way, you understood what he was doing. It wasn’t okay, but you understood his motivation. You weren’t even that upset about the fact that it had almost happened to you. At some point you realized that you felt upset when you looked at Troy because you felt betrayed, and that was what really scared you. Because it meant that you cared. And you really did not want to care about Troy Otto, because you knew it would hurt you.

It was dark now, and the only light that guided you came from the moon. No one was speaking, everyone was too occupied with their own suffering. You only looked up when you saw Mike stumble and go down in front of you.

“You okay, man?” someone asked.

“No, I’m not okay,” he said in an agitated tone and then turned to Troy. “Indians, really?!”

“We should stop,” Madison said before Troy could reply.

“No,” Troy said firmly. “No way.”

“Your men are tired,” Madison insisted.

“Yeah, well, newsflash: so am I,” Troy said sarcastically. “Walker and those assholes will make it back before us if we don’t move double time. You really want that visited on your family? You really think Nick can handle something like that?” Troy was almost challenging Madison with his tone.

“We’re not going to make it back,” Madison said simply.

“You’re overstepping, Madison.” He was getting angry now, turning to Mike. “Will you pick yourself up? Just wrap your foot up and hoof it. Come on, let’s go!”

But Madison didn’t let him go that easily. “You want them to follow you out of fear or respect?”

Troy had just been about to keep walking, but now he turned back to her threateningly. “What did you just say to me?”

“Being a leader is knowing when to stop.”

For a moment, your heart pounded, wondering how Troy would react to an open challenge like that. His face was pure rage. He took a step toward Madison, gripped her by the arm, and pulled her away from the group, talking to her in private. You were closest to them, so you turned your ear in their direction, inconspicuously trying to listen.

“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Troy asked. “I’m not your son.”

“Oh, but you have such a strange fixation on him,” Madison said almost cockily. “You want to be a mama’s boy, Troy? Was your mother too cruel for that?”

“Shut up,” Troy whispered. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“She hated you, didn’t sh-“ - “Shut up!” “Even in the end, when you bathed her, she still didn’t love you, did she?”

Then Madison turned back to the group. “Who says we should rest up?”

You watched as around you, everyone lifted their hands up in the air.

When Troy spoke again, he had to struggle to keep his voice from breaking, he was that angry. “I’m the only one that knows the way back, so you better pick your asses up at first light, because I will leave you. I’ll leave you all for the wasted!” For only a second, your eyes met. Then, Troy turned around and left.

Madison started walking back to the rest of the group.

“Did you just use his own trauma against him?” you asked when Madison passed you.

For a moment, she only looked at you. “I did what I had to do to get us back,” she said eventually. “His trauma is no excuse for what he’s doing.”

“Still not a reason to throw it in his face like that,” you simply said.

Madison stared at you for a moment, a curious look on her face. Then, she kept walking without another word. You knew what she was thinking, because you were thinking the same thing. Why were you defending him?

When the group made quarters for the night, some went to sleep in a small tunnel next to the road, while some preferred to stay outside of the tunnel, under the open sky. You were just feeding a few dry branches to the fire outside when you saw Troy coming back. He came out of the dark and stayed in the shadows, and when he walked into the tunnel, you could see the determination on his face illuminated by the second fire in the tunnel.

You turned around to Coop and Blake, but they didn’t seem to have seen Troy. You carefully walked to the tunnel with an uneasy feeling in your stomach. When you reached the opening, you stopped for a moment, confused.

Mike and Madison were sleeping on the floor, and Troy was sitting on top of Madison. At first, you didn’t understand what he was doing, but then you caught a shining flicker of metal reflecting the fire light. You inhaled sharply. Troy was holding a knife to Madison’s throat.

“Troy!” you whispered, not wanting to alert any of the others, and started walking toward him, but he didn’t seem to hear you.

“..you’re better than this,” you heard Madison say when you were close enough.

Troy was breathing heavily, his face looked half angry, half tortured, as if he was having an inner struggle with himself.

“Troy,” you whispered again when you had almost reached them, but he still did not react. “Troy, stop!”

Madison and Troy’s eyes were fixated on each other. When you were close enough, you stretched out your hand and carefully touched his arm, not wanting to startle him into making a sudden movement with the knife still at Madison’s throat.

When you touched him, his head snapped to you suddenly, as if you had broken him out of a trance. He looked at you and then back at Madison, and then at the knife in his hand. He moved away from Madison with a start, standing up and moving backwards until he reached the wall. He dropped the knife and sank down to a sitting position, his eyes staring into blank space. He was breathing even heavier than before.

Madison sat up next to you, holding her throat. You could see that behind Madison, Mike was awake as well. You hesitated for a moment before you spoke. “Give us a minute,” you told both of them eventually. Madison looked at you questioningly for a second, but when you gave her a confirming nod, both of them got up and walked out of the tunnel.

You carefully walked over to Troy and knelt down in front of him. His eyes were still unfocused, and his breathing wasn’t slowing down.

“Troy,” you said gently, and he looked up at you, and you thought you saw a flicker of surprise on his face. He expected me to yell at him, you realized. Now, all the fight had gone out of him. There was no anger left in his eyes, and there was no poker face hiding his emotions, there was only pain. You carefully took one of his hands in yours and put it on your chest.

“Do you feel that?” you asked. “I need you to try to mimic my breathing, okay? Calm down a little bit.”

His eyes never left yours and eventually, his breathing steadied.

“Do you trust me?” you asked when you had let go of his hand.

He only looked at you for a moment, but then he nodded.

“Good,” you said quietly. “What Madison said to you wasn’t okay, but that,” you motioned to the place where she had been just a few minutes ago, “cannot happen again. We don’t go after our own. We can’t afford to go after our own.” You paused for a moment. “When you’re angry like that again, when you want to hurt someone, you come to me. But something like that is not going to happen again, do you hear me?” you said in a calm but decisive manner.

Again, he was still for a moment before nodding. For a while, you only looked at each other.

“Get some sleep,” you told him before standing up and walking away. At the end of the tunnel you stopped and turned back to him for a second.

“Troy?” you asked and he looked up at you. “I’m still with you.”

Tags: @buckaroo--barnes

#troy otto #troy otto imagine #ftwd imagine #troy otto x reader #ftwd x reader #troy otto imagines #ftwd imagines

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scriptshrink · 7 years

Text

Bad Psychology: Netflix’s “Gypsy” (Part 1)

CW: alcohol, suicide

So Netflix made a show about a “therapist,” starring a woman I forgot the name of who is essentially a Knockoff Nicole Kidman (and thus will hereafter be referred to as “KNK”). In summary, KNK is a therapist who is bored with her marriage and decides she wants to sleep with a client’s ex-girlfriend that she’s heard him describe in therapy.

This show is a garbage fire. It’s so bad. I only managed to watch the first two episodes and I have never in my life regretted wasting as much time as I did on it.

As someone studying to become a clinical psychologist, this show’s portrayal of therapy makes me want to scream and tear my hair out. This show promotes an extremely inaccurate portrayal of therapy that may prevent people from seeking the help they need. It gives therapists a bad name. As such, I feel the need to set the record straight.

[Gif: Picard from Star Trek: “What you’re doing here is unethical. It’s immoral. I’ll fight it.”]

Note - This post has been broken up into two parts: this part deals with my therapy-related critique, and Part 2 will be my general / random thoughts about the show (including the fact that the very title of the show is a racist slur).

Let’s get started. God help us.

The first time we see her in therapy, KNK is writing nothing but the word “boundaries” over and over in her notes. Very professional. That’s definitely going to help jog your memory when you’re typing up session notes later. /s

Actual dialogue:

Old lady client: I haven't seen [my daughter Rebecca] in two months. She barely answers her phone. So this weekend, when she canceled, I blew up! Why do you think she's avoiding me?

KNK: It's impossible for me to speculate on Rebecca's life. I only have access to you.

Client: I think she's just busy. If she were dating, that would be a good enough reason. I used to hope that she wasn't picking up because she was having sex. [laughs] That would be fine by me, you know?

KNK: I understand your concern, but by giving her space, you might show her that you're respecting her boundaries.

Client: I'm furious... that she won't give her mother any time. Her job is more important. The gym is more important. Even her weekly blow-out every Monday. That she has time for. And I've been to that salon. It’s really not very nice.

KNK: Rebecca loves you, Claire. Just give it some time. Emotions change like the wind.

[Gif: Morello from OITNB resting her head on her hand, smiling and marveling at the stupidity, “Do you hear yourself sometimes? Like, when you speak?”]

KNK, you cannot say that the client’s daughter really loves her. You said yourself that you can’t speculate about her. You have no fucking idea if it’s true.

Just stop.

Different Client: *tells story about having to drop out of school because she was caught stealing money for drugs and how her mom has lung cancer*

KNK: *uncomfortably long blank stare*

Immediately cut to KNK ordering wine at a coffee shop (in the middle of the day, no less) to try to impress the client’s ex-girlfriend she wants to bang.

BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SHOW ACTUAL THERAPY IN A SHOW ABOUT A THERAPIST

Wait. I think I figured it out. KNK isn’t really a therapist. She’s a fucking voyeur. She doesn’t actually want to help anyone. She is taking lurid pleasure in her clients’ vulnerability and pain.

Oh, and speaking of wine, KNK is drunk or drinking in about half of all the scenes she’s in. She drinks wine at lunch and goes back to see more clients like wtf.

...Hold on. I take it back, this could actually be a good thing!

[Gif - Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec “Put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out.”]

Please for the love of god anything to get KNK to stop spewing her unethical nonsense.

Oh, man. The supervision scenes (where KNK meets with other therapists and they discuss their clients and stuff) are fucking hilarious.

KNK: He shouldn't marry her.

Therapist 1: Uh, that's not for us to decide. We're here to address his issues, not make his decisions.

Note - “Uh” here translates roughly to: “what the fuck is wrong with you, did you not pay attention during literally the entirety of your graduate education? We fucking learned this day one and were reminded at least once a month for literal years.”

KNK: I'm sorry. I just feel like we've been hearing about his rampant cheating stories for the past year straight. And now he's getting married.

Therapist 2: Well, behavior change takes a long time. And he's made growth in his commitment to his relationship, so as long as he's showing up for sessions and putting the work in--

KNK: I'm not questioning that we support our patients, but if they keep making poor choices, maybe we need to change tactics. It's just disheartening that sometimes all we can do is help them keep their head above water.

Because respecting your clients’ agency and keeping your clients alive is boring and sad.

Also, KNK could not be more condescending in this scene if she fucking tried. Just fucking look at her:

[Image: KNK looking patronizing as fuck, “I’m not questioning that we support our patients…”]

Therapist 1: Jean, remember, our job is not to do the work for our patients. Sometimes we're just here to listen, to be a sounding board. And realize that you can't fix everyone.

KNK: Yeah, I know. I get it. Trust me, I have tried. But I am just tired of sitting in that office listening to the same old story week after week with no results. It's frustrating.

I dunno, KNK...maybe you could try doing actual therapy, not just sitting in your office twiddling your thumbs while listening to your client? Like...maybe try CBT or DBT? Teach your client some coping skills?

Oh, right. That would involve a level of competency that KNK clearly does not have.

[Image - KNK at a supervision meeting with other therapists. KNK: “And now she’s questioning the value of therapy, the value of me.”]

Newsflash, KNK - your client is questioning your value because you’re a worthless therapist.

OH SHIT STOP THE PRESSES. She’s actually giving her client homework! Like a real therapist might! I wonder what it is!

Oh. She wants the client to sign an oath not to contact his ex-girlfriend, who KNK is trying to bang.

Seriously, that’s the homework.

Because if he contacts his ex, there’s a chance he’ll find out about KNK trying to bang her.

Fuck you, KNK, you selfish unethical asshole.

Oh, also, a former client of KNK’s is evidently accusing her of something (unspecified as of the end of episode 2). This is KNK’s response.

[Image: KNK: “Yeah, well, she’s borderline. She’ll say anything.”]

Really. REALLY???

Now. It’s an unfortunate fact that some therapists don’t treat their borderline clients well. But what the actual fuck. Do you really want to paint your protagonist as a shitty, awful person?

Oh, wait. Too late.

So a random client shows up and is just sitting in KNK’s office waiting for her, which is potentially a huge breach of the confidentiality of KNK’s other clients.

KNK’s response is to make a snide comment about there being a waiting room, then to proceed to yell at client for being late to the appointment.

Because wasting a therapist’s time is worse than something that is actually illegal and can result in thousands of dollars in fines. KNK’s clearly got her priorities straight.

KNK then lets that same client fall asleep on the couch in her office. Just in case it wasn’t unethical enough the first time around!

For fuck’s sake.

[Image: A seedy nightclub bathroom. KNK says to her client’s ex who she’s trying to bang: “You’re like a human Rorschach.”]

So she’s outdated, invalid, and meaningless? Sick fucking burn, bro!

Also, Hermann Rorschach, who was in all likelihood human* would like a word. I think the writers meant to say “inkblot.”

Who the fuck is writing this fucking shit.

* Note - the Shrink has no evidence to confirm or deny that Hermann Rorschach was a vampire, werewolf, or other non-human creature.

The absolute worst part comes when KNK’s ‘forbidden’ and ‘dangerous’ relationship with her client’s ex leads to KNK learning something important about her actual client. Namely, that said client has in the past been suicidal after a breakup.

This is slightly important because, you know, said client is currently going through another breakup - and may become suicidal again.

Guess what? KNK NEVER FUCKING BRINGS IT UP IN THERAPY.

She didn’t have to tell him she knows about his past. She could just ask him if he’s having thoughts of suicide - it’s a routine question that therapists ask! A lot! Some therapists will ask it every session!

But no.

KNK legitimately does not fucking care if her client lives or dies.

The only value her client has to her is that she can pump him for information about his ex-girlfriend. She uses her position as a therapist to manipulate her client into serving KNK’s agenda to get laid.

I’m not joking.

Actual transcript:

KNK: You know, I was thinking, Sam, is it possible that you came on too strong with Sidney [his ex that KNK wants to bang]?

Sam: [stammering] What do you mean? Today?

KNK: No, in general. She just seems so independent and free-spirited, from the way you describe her. Maybe she felt claustrophobic.

Sam: I don't understand why you're telling me this.

Me fucking either.

Sam: We were in love, and then she got scared. Decided she needed to experience more shit. More people.

KNK: So she's dating?

Sam: No, she actually told me she’s not interested in any guys.

KNK: So she's interested in women?

Sam: No. What?

KNK: Well, the way you... Anyway, it's very common for young women to dally or try things.

How fucking dare you.

Fuck this show. Fuck everyone involved in producing it. Fuck Netflix for hosting it.

[Gif: John Oliver repeatedly pounding his fists on a table and saying angrily, “Fuck you! Fuck you all forever! You fuck yourself! You go fuck yourself right now!”]

Okay. The Shrink needs to take a break to calm down. Stay tuned for Part 2.

Disclaimer // Support me on patreon. I watch this shit so you don’t have to.

#text #gypsy #netflix #bad psychology #bad therapists #media #suicide #alcohol #this is not psychological or medical advice #this is writing advice #shrink gets mad #misconceptions #ethics in therapy #confidentiality #best of scriptshrink #g slur

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