#new mum | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ineedfairypee · 6 days

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It's a delicate operation

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mamasaysblog · 1 year

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rooandb · 1 year

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Baby luxury knitted shawl, mittens and hat

#baby shower gifts #new mum #babygift #uk babies #baby #pregnancy #baby hamper

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caradoulasupport · 24 days

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Matrescence - becoming a mother, no ‘bouncing back’ required

Becoming a mother for the first time is a great transition in your life, a rite-of-passage. And not only the first time, but for each time that you become a mother you transition again into a new version of yourself. Each transition is just as significant as the one before. In Western cultures, the focus is largely on the baby that has been born, however the mother is also born each time she gives birth, and this "becoming a mother" piece has largely been left out of our culture entirely. In the same way that we nurture and care for a new baby, we would really do well to remember that the new mother also needs to be nurtured and cared for during this transition.

This critical transition period is Matrescence, and was first coined by an American anthropologist in 1973, Dana Raphael. And although this was first written about in the 1970’s the concept of matrescence has gone completely unacknowledged and unexplored in the medical community, until very recently. There is still so little known about the psychological and physiological effects of becoming a mother - how it affects the brain, the endocrine system, cognition, immunity, the psyche, the microbiome, the sense of self. At a time when a woman is going through a significant rite of passage and is going through massive changes in her physical state, her status within her wider group, her emotional life, her focus, her own identity and in her relationships with everyone around her, she is expected to transition through this stage with ease.

As the author of the recently published book "Matrescence", Lucy Jones, has alluded to - each time that I write the word "matrescence" a red squiggly line immediately appears below it as if to say - this is not real, it doesn't mean anything, it's made up! But it is very real, and the only way to make it even more real is to bring more and more awareness to it, to speak about it to everyone you know. Maybe people will use the argument that they don't want to scare new mothers with horror stories, or that everyone has to go through it for themselves. But there is a huge difference between scaremongering a new mother and presenting her with a term and an explanation for how she is very likely feeling anyway. And if women were to even grow up hearing about this normal transition that happens on entering motherhood, have evidence based information on how it affects your thoughts and emotions, your hormones, your relationships, your sense of self - how much better would they go on to cope with the reality of motherhood if it happens for them? Instead of getting completely side-swiped by a wave of unknowing, of being lost and totally adrift in what we have come to understand as modern motherhood.

The sense of social isolation that can stem from women being ashamed of what they are experiencing and not realising it is actually normal can even trigger feelings of postnatal depression. There are such complicated feelings that can co-exist - having a sense of worry, disappointment, guilt, competition, frustration, anger or even fear alongside the joy of new motherhood. And it is now thought, according to reproductive psychiatrist Alexandra Sacks, who has reintroduced the concept of matrescence in a New York Times article in 2017, that just even knowing that and being aware of what matrescence is can prevent women from getting ill. If you can watch the TED talk given by Alexandra Sacks in 2018 describing matrescence, it will astonish you.

Talking about matrescence and all the parts of motherhood- including the parts that may carry shame for us - is the only way to help mothers feel less stigmatised and more normal in all aspects of becoming a mother. Of course experiencing matrescence without a support network, and without understanding the complexity of what is happening in your brain as a new mother only adds to feelings of not being enough, not being a “good” mother and a sense of failure that can lead to a diagnosis of postnatal depression.

But the question is how much of maternal mental illness is biological and how much is an understandable response to the design of modern parenthood?

One way to claim back the rite-of-passage of motherhood is to surrender to it, embrace every part of it and honour the transition that you have gone through as a mother and as parents. Planning for this postpartum period and putting the framework in place that allows you to be nurtured as the mother is fundamental to the process of matrescence. It is time to honour this monumental transition and enter into motherhood empowered, nurtured and with the confidence that the changes that are happening are normal and expected.

#matrescence #postpartum #new mum #doula #support #Youtube

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sylvella05 · 8 months

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There are still days like this

It’s 3:00pm and I’m standing at the kitchen bench, scoffing down a couple of cold pieces of toast. I don’t have the physical or mental energy to set and then clean up a place at the table. It’s the first time I’ve eaten today. My 4 month old baby moans in the background and I try my best to ignore it. She’ll be safe in her bouncer for 5 minutes. If I don’t eat now then it will be nothing until dinner and I know I’m supposed to be eating to maintain my milk supply.

I glance guiltily over at her. Contrary to her fussing she looks happy, hitting out at the toys hanging in front of her, but my brain is hardwired to respond to her every sound. I’m not even sure if the noises she’s making are negative - Mum says that’s just one of the sounds babies make when they’re playing. But the “what if’s” still plague me - what if she’s upset and my lack of response is causing unseen trauma to her psyche? But also…..I need to eat. My sustenance after all is crucial to hers.

It’s been 4 months now and for the most part things are running smoothly. I finally feel like I have a handle on this Mum gig, but there are still days like this. Days that make me feel like I’m right back at the start. Like I have no idea what I’m doing. Days that make me feel like the worst mother in the world.

I’m dressed in a nighty encrusted with all manner of my daughters bodily fluids. A vomit stain on the shoulder, a damp spot at the front from where her nappy leaked while I was feeding her earlier. Why am I always just that little bit too late with changing her nappies? Will I ever get the hang of this constant juggling act? My breasts hang free underneath, I still haven’t got around to replacing the milk soaked maternity bra that I peeled off prior to her first morning feed. I’ve been blessed with a baby who can now string together several hours of sleep during the night, but my lactating body clearly hasn’t got the memo yet. I know I should be more grateful, but I’m still so tired, months of accumulated sleep debt weighing heavy upon me.

Apparently the trade off for sleeping well at night is to be terrible at daytime naps. Hours spent trying to soothe and console, often to no avail. Today was one of those days. Instead of sleeping when she was so clearly very tired, my baby instead fought against it with an impressive amount of passion. She shrieked and wailed, legs flailing everywhere. I lost my cool this morning and I’m not proud of it. I swore loudly in frustration, angry not at her, but at the situation. Instantly I was flooded with remorse. Though she didn’t understand my words, I was certain she’d interpreted my angry tone. I picked her up and cradled her, apologising profusely as she squirmed beneath my embrace.

The postman arrived earlier to deliver a parcel - I’d totally forgotten he was coming today. I cringe, remembering how I sheepishly opened the door in my stained nighty, hair in the same messy top-knot it’s been in for the past 3 days. I positioned my body so as to block his view of the shambles behind me that represent our home. The postman hardly glanced at me, but I felt humiliated nonetheless. “I have a new baby!” I wanted to tell him. “I usually have my shit together - I swear!”. But of course I said nothing, retreating back into my messy house in shame.

And it’s true. I did used to have my shit together. I was clean and tidy - “house proud” one might even say. These days it’s all I can do to muster up a mad dash to perform “high priority” tasks like the dishes or laundry, during moments snatched when my little one is napping. Well meaning offers from friends and family to “come to you to make it easier” fill me with a sense of dread. I don’t want them to see me - or my home - like this. I look at the floor - it’s never been this dirty before. How on earth will I manage once she’s crawling?

I also used to pride myself on being punctual. It’s something I now struggle with on the (very) rare occasion we leave the house. I doubt I’ll ever be on time again. I silently curse the old me, who scoffed at people with kids who were late to everything. “That won’t be me” I told myself ignorantly. “You’ve just gotta be organised”. Oh how those words haunt me now.

I swallow the final bite of my toast and run my tongue over my teeth, fantasising about brushing them. Hah, fat chance of that, I haven’t even showered since yesterday. Turning to my baby, I take a second to marvel at her and her beautiful features. I’d do anything for that child. Her little face lights up when she sees me walking over to her. She smiles and squeals with joy as I bend to pick her up out of her bouncer. I pull her close and inhale her smell - a combination of the scented lotion I applied to her this morning mingled with the stale smell of spew on her bib. It’s heavenly.

I sigh, burying my face into her as she cranes her neck to survey the kitchen from this new height. It doesn’t matter how hard the days are, how gross I feel or how messy the house gets, it’s all worth it. Worth it to nourish, love and watch this tiny little human I helped make grow and thrive. I’m a mother now, me the centre of her universe and she of mine.

And I couldn’t be happier or more grateful for that ❤️

#mum #mom #mama #mummy #mommy #mum life #mom life #new mum #new mom #new mama #mummy blogger #mommy blog #post partum #post natal

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lovlelymama · 10 months

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(via T-shirt classique « Reliable battery , Batterie fiable » par LovlelyMama ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)

#findyourthing #redbubble #new mum #mom powerful #never give up mom #mummy day #father daughter mum and baby

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ifourdezign · 1 year

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Got a little one on the way? Know someone who's expecting, or just had a baby and needs a little gift to make light of the situation? 'I love my baby ...when they are sleeping' is a revised, 2023 design by ifourdezign. Now available in 5 colours.

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chiuuee · 3 months

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🧧happy cny!! 🐉

#year of the dragon #chinese new year #lunar new year #cny #cny2024 #chinese dragon #my art #illustration #art #im actually celebrating in Malaysia this yr w my mums fam!!!

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babycoseycollections · 1 year

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#Mother’s Day #mothersdaygifts #mothers day #baby clothing #baby clothes #baby gifts #baby shop #personalised gifts #mummylifeuk #new mum

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ineedfairypee · 9 days

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I came for cuddles not caca 💩

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mamasaysblog · 1 year

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#gifts #new mum #newborn #baby blues #blog #blogger #blogilates #writer #newpost #likes #follow #inspo #daily #potd #instamood

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rooandb · 2 years

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#baby hamper #babygift #baby shower gifts #new mum #uk babies #newmummy #baby #baby shower #pregnancy

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thund3randrain · 2 months

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"I respect you and won't stop you from being who you are" and "I'm not ready to call you by a new name and pronouns because it hurts me" can not co-exist when the speaker is your parent who has a huge amount of control over your life.

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reusable-baby-products · 1 year

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#reusable #bamboo products #baby wipes #new mum

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missray91 · 2 years

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The First Poonami.

This was quite the shock, I won’t lie. Rob was away at his brothers wedding so our lovely friend Amy came to visit with her little boy. We were having a lovely time catching up and cooing over baby Josie. Josies starts telling me shes hungry (what a surprise) so I get her out the pram and give her a little cuddle… Amy quite quickly tells me to ‘stop what I’m doing’ and ‘absolutely do not…

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#baby #family #new baby #new mum #parent

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disteal · 5 months

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It’s so funny to me that Tara can basically end up as your shitty mother in law

#bg3 spoilers #bg3 epilogue #bg3 #tara the tressym #gale dekarios #art #comic #my tav #fun fact this was basically my mum and my nan dbncdnxjjxjx #nan once gave mum this horrible sequinned scarf for Christmas #and mum hated it so much she snuck it back into her luggage the night before she left #and then when nan sent me my Christmas present the scarf was in there too #so mum carted the thing with her to New Zealand next time they visited and left it in the pillowcase #and then it of course showed up again next Christmas #most cordial interaction they had

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