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jaymarawrites-blog · 6 years

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LIKE RATS - 14 - Coffee

I lay in silent awareness of my body, resistant to opening my eyes and accepting consciousness. One hip ached as it often did if I’d lain on one side too long. My shoulders were hunched up and tense, bunching up muscles in my neck and upper back. One hand was tucked between my knees and the other arm was thrown dramatically over my head. Michael always said I looked like I was vogue-ing in my sleep.

Michael.

Michael was not in the bed next to me.

With all the touring Michael had done and all the nights I’d spent without him, it was strange how wrong it felt to be waking up without him. It was wrong because of the simple knowledge that this morning I was actually supposed to be with him. I wondered if I acted like everything was normal, if everything could be normal. What had really changed? Michael and I were not in a good place now, but we hadn’t been in a particularly good place yesterday, either. Maybe I’d overreacted.

But I couldn’t accept that. At least not yet. Nothing had changed, but somehow everything had. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I knew that Michael hadn’t said any of that to hurt my feelings. He’d known enough to realize it would hurt me even if he didn’t understand why - that’s why he hadn’t wanted to have the conversation to begin with. But the entire foundation of our relationship had shifted, and now I was seeing everything with new eyes. Every moment, every memory, everything we had shared was different now.

Do you love me yet?

Sometimes it felt like those words were all I had left of the Michael I fell in love with. Sometimes those words were the only thing keeping me warm. But it had all been a lie. The person I’d thought he was, brash and bold, beholden to nothing and no one, had suddenly evaporated into thin air. That person had never existed. Michael had always been the cloying, simpering, obsequious mess I saw in him now.

This whole thing was a lie. My life: one big lie.

I opened my eyes.

I lay diagonally across the queen bed, on top of the comforter I always coveted from the sleeping compartment on the bus. A complete waste. Andie was properly snuggled under the comforter of the bed she shared with Abel. Everything was so white, so bright, even with the lights out. I realized they’d left the curtains open.

I slipped off the bed as quietly as I could. I was experiencing the classic emotional hangover. I wanted to forget that that night before had ever happened, and in this bright white moment I could almost imagine that it hadn’t. Suddenly grounded to this room, this moment, this freshly awake feeling, my conversation with Michael seemed so far away. I felt so displaced from it. It felt as if I could forget all about it for as long as I didn’t have to face him.

I used the bathroom as quietly as I could. In the mirror my makeup was smudged dramatically. It was a look I actually aimed for sometimes, but the knowledge that my face hadn’t been washed since the day before made me cringe. I took a tube of toothpaste resting on Abel’s shaving kit bag and squeezed the sparkly blue gel onto an index finger, then rubbed it in brisk circles over my teeth, gagging as I rubbed the insides of my molars. Then I picked gingerly through Abel’s bag, then through Andie’s travel bag, until I found floss.

Each attempt at cleaning myself up made me feel even grimier.

I opened the bathroom door to Andie leaning against the wall, braless in one of Abel’s undershirts and boyshorts.

“Sorry,” I whispered. Abel was still sprawled on his side of the bed, mouth open, exhaling breath I just knew was sour to smell. “I’m going to get a coffee.”

“Wait for me,” Andie’s voice bounced off the bathroom tile as the door shut behind her.

I used the full-length mirror to pile my hair on top of my head. My attempt to secure it in a loose bun only made it look greasier, so I pulled the hair tie out of a small tangle and tied up half my hair, twirling the bulk of it around one hand so it hung together down my back. I gathered the tail of my oversized tee and tied it in a knot over yoga pants I had to straighten. I tied my hoodie around the strap of the canvas bag I used as a purse and waited on Andie outside the bathroom door, ignoring the fact that I looked homeless.

“No toothbrush.” Andie had appeared in the doorway again. Even groggy her voice was light and lilting. She pulled a pair of sweatpants and a sweater on over Abel’s undershirt, then tucked her feet into a pair of pink slippers. She grabbed a key card from the desk and we left the room, Andie closing the door with a light click behind us.

The elevator seemed louder in the early morning, with no people or sound around to muffle it, and the elevator door gave a squeal when it opened only two floors down, where Chris waited for it. Andie’s eyes brightened. Chris looked from one of us to the other before stepping inside, and I turned my eyes to the floor.

“Good timing,” Andie said. “We have fifteen minutes of continental breakfast left. That’s just long enough to make a couple of waffles before they close up.”

“Do they have waffles?” I asked.

Andie blinked. “I don’t know.”

I glanced at Chris. Andie and I leaned against the back of the elevator, facing the door, and he had pressed himself into the corner next to the buttons indicating floors of the hotel. He was engrossed in whatever was happening on his phone. Rather than bringing the phone to his face he held it at waist-level and bent over it, hair hiding his face, disappearing inside of it, inside himself.

When the elevator doors opened into the lobby, Chris and I automatically turned right as Andie turned left. I continued in the same direction, walking backwards, and called to Andie, “Where are you going?”

“Toothbrush!” She shrugged and walked off in the direction of the front desk.

That left me with Chris. I glanced at him and he glanced at me and we redirected our eyes quickly, but my chest froze over mid-breath.

The continental breakfast should be just around the next corner.

There should be no obligation to speak.

It was only a few dozen steps.

It wasn’t weird to walk in silence.

My brain was on overdrive, I was feeling paranoid. Chris sauntered along next to me, through the lobby, past the check-in desk and business center, showing no evidence of discomfort.

I’d forgotten how to swing my arms.

I slowed slightly, allowing Chris a pace or two ahead of me as we turned the corner from the lobby into the nook set up for the continental breakfast, but he stopped in his tracks just before it came into view. Instead I slammed into a wall of Chris and, mortified, took several steps backward.

“Sorry,” I muttered, simultaneously horrified and grateful to have an excuse to say something to him, to break the silence.

He didn’t acknowledge me, his back remained to me, and he was frozen in place for another moment as I scrambled around him to see what had happened.

Seated at a small table for two, chairs perpendicular to each other leaning over a notebook together, were Michael and Mason. Michael’s raised eyebrows fell when he turned his gaze from Chris to me. Me entering the room with Chris. Mason’s expression was blank as ever, but his eyes glanced between Chris and me as though he were following a conversation in progress.

Chris dipped his head in greeting and continued on toward the coffee. But I knew he’d stopped just a moment too long. I knew how it looked. Factually, nothing had happened, least of all what it may have looked like, and if Chris hadn’t stopped and practically cowered under Michael’s gaze there would be no problem. But the pause was an acknowledgement of guilt and discomfort, even if I didn’t understand what precisely Chris felt guilty for.

But I had my own guilt to worry about.

When Chris walked away I felt abandoned. I didn’t know what to do. I silently thanked my good fortune that Mason was here with Michael, that I wouldn’t have to pretend to have a happy breakfast with Michael in case anyone else showed up.

But what else would I do?

I wasn’t going to sit with Chris. Was I going to sit awkwardly at a separate table? Did that look even worse?

I scampered over to grab a dry cereal and a handful of grapes, not because I wanted to eat them, but because I couldn’t stand motionless and alone any longer than I already had. And with a small plate of fruit and a single-serving box of cereal I realized a little too late that I hadn’t actually acknowledged Michael at all.

He seemed unworried now, turned back to Mason, but I was sure I’d hear about it later. He wore a black tank and sweatpants and his hair was undisturbed by sleep. Mason, to his credit, wore the exact same black jeans and rotating band tees at all hours of the day, for all occasions, onstage and offstage. Both were back to being engrossed in Michael’s notebook, Mason sipping a coffee and Michael what I knew was green tea.

Saying something to him now would benefit…. I took a look around. No one. No one here, at least.

Andie rounded the corner wielding a toothbrush wrapped in plastic. I approached a table in the middle of the room, equidistant from Chris, flipping through his phone and drinking coffee, and Michael and Mason. I called over to Andie, loud enough for everyone to hear, “They’re working. Let’s sit over here.”

Andie, thank God, nodded and patted Michael and Mason each on the shoulder, passing them on her way to the pastries. Like normal.

With a small plate of mini-muffins and cantaloupe, the corners of Andie’s mouth turned down as she sat across from me. “Is it okay?”

I nodded. I didn’t know what specifically she was referring to, but I nodded nonetheless. It was fine. It would have to be.

Within the next few minutes Adrian and Smith had arrived and were hunched over coffee with Chris. The others, I’d heard Smith say, were still sleeping.

“Michael!” Adrian called over and my head shot up automatically. Michael’s shoulders turned toward Adrian before his face did as he finished scribbling something in his notebook. “Do you know your wife might be as talented as you are?”

Adrian’s grin was warm, and he turned it toward me

Michael nodded slowly. “She is.” After a pause Michael’s lip twitched and he called back to Chris, “Your makeup was flawless. Will you do it again tomorrow?”

Chris looked to me, then back to Michael, shrugging. “No. It was for fun, not for like -”

“But it was perfect. Best you ever looked,” Adrian said.

“For what that’s worth,” Smith said into his coffee.

“Is there any particular reason you wouldn’t want to do it again? She’s not going anywhere,” Michael said. This felt distinctly like baiting, but I didn’t understand the purpose. And I didn’t particularly enjoy being talked about as if I weren’t sitting here listening to the exchange.

“No,” Chris said quickly. “No, it was great. I just didn’t think… I mean, yeah, just if you guys are busy I don’t want to -”

“Before a show?” Michael raised his eyebrows again. Chris must have known what he said was stupid. Obviously Michael and I wouldn’t be busy - together - before a show, when he would be warming up, getting dressed, styling his hair to look as though it hadn’t been styled at all.

“Yeah.” Chris looked down at his hands in his lap. “Yeah, I mean if that works.”

Michael turned a smile to me that I didn’t return, then winked.

“Sure,” I said, holding Michael’s gaze. “That works fine.”

~~~

Begin at the beginning: LIKE RATS - Prologue

#like rats #fanfic #fanfiction #miw #miwband #miwfanfiction #chris cerulli #chris motionless #motionless in white #motionless in white fanfiction #motionless in white fanfic #chris cerulli fanfic #chris cerulli fanfiction #chris motionless fanfiction #chris motionless fanfic

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yieldtotragedy · 3 years

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𝕱𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝕽𝖎𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝕽𝖆𝖌𝖘✘ ᴹᵉ˒ ᴹʸˢᵉˡᶠ˒ ᵃᶰᵈ ᴵ ✘

Not many know who I am, who I once was or what I’ve done. The life I knew before I got shipped off to some god-awful place is a distant memory. That person does not exist anymore. That kid is dead.

The downpour outside is practically a metaphor for my life. A never-ending shit storm. Getting through my days was the easy part. It’s the existing that I had trouble with. A fresh bag of yayo and a bottle of top shelf scotch helped with that element of it all.

Too many people out there seek the approval of their parents. If I did what my father wanted, I’d be one of the top business men in the country. I would be married with children by now. Two or three years into running my own investment company. Yet here I am; cutting a pile of pure cocaine on the back of some public toilet.

It’s safe to say that if my family didn’t ship me off and abandon me, I’d be doing exactly what that bastard wanted me to do. But then I wouldn’t be having a blast trying to figure out where to sleep every night. I think I got the better of the two scenarios.

Fishing out a crumpled dollar bill from my front pocket, something I found on the sidewalk. Rolling it tightly and bringing the end to my nostril. Snorting a whole line before that familiar burn caused a groan. Shit, the redhead is waiting for me. Quickly inhaling the second line and scooping the rest into the small baggie.

What’s her fucking name again? It starts with an L… Wait, maybe it was an N. P? No, no. I had two things to remember. Where I was meeting her and her goddamn name. Maybe I can get away with not knowing it…?Shoving the baggie into my back pocket, only to rake my fingers through dark locks. Something to allow me to leave the restroom with complete confidence. No facade needed, I was far too cocky for a homeless man with a drug addiction. That’s how I scored a date tonight. If you act like a million bucks, you start to believe it. Then bitches start crawling to you.

There she was. Sitting at the end of the bar. Typical. I straightened my posture, taking a few long strides to her stool. Looking her up and down, slowly, before making my presence known. Tossing an arm over her shoulder with a smirk on my lips. “You look far too good to be in a place like this. Let’s go get dinner.”

The petite woman took my arm and I wore her like she was a gold chain. “You’re lucky I’m starving. I didn’t even get to finish my drink,” she said in a slightly annoying tone. A strong hand gave her hip a squeeze as we walked down the boulevard.

“You’re starting to sound like an alcoholic.” I could practically hear her scoff at me. Why did she stick around? I don’t know. And I didn’t care either way because I’ll never see her again after tonight. You can thank my mother and sister for that. My view on women has changed over the years. They are masters of abandonment. Experts in manipulation. And bat shit crazy.

We were halfway through our appetizer at Andaluca. Of course she had to pick an expensive bottle of red wine, I went with a bourbon on a single cube of ice. I had no appetite, but I picked at my beef Wellington entreé. All while skin and bones on the other side of the table eats a salad. A salad that I’m sure costs $50. You could almost hear me grinding my molars, but how can I complain? The meal was free.

You could tell the redhead was getting tipsy, so that’s when I decided to cut her off. Who wants to fuck a sloppy drunk? Only frat guys. “Go wait outside while I settle the bill.” My voice was stern, but she was obedient. Her smile accentuated her flushed cheeks just as her navy dress highlighted her firm ass.

Dine and dash. Something I’ve mastered over the years. The restaurant was packed, which means every server had multiple things to worry about. I tugged that rolled up dollar bill from my pocket and tossed it on the table. Better than nothing. With a shrug of my broad shoulders, I stood up and quickly, but unsuspiciously, slipped out the front door.

“You can repay me by inviting me back to your place.” My signature grin formed. Dark locks smoothed back out of my face. 6’3” frame towered over the petite female. Sure, I could offer her my leather jacket like a perfect gentleman would. Why would I play into those expectations, though? Hale’s don’t live up to expectations; we set them.

I still didn’t know this broad’s name and she wasted no time in leading me down the boulevard towards her apartment complex. I had one thing in mind and I wish I could say it was pussy. Nope, it was my next fix.

Have you ever come down from a cocaine high? It’s fucking awful. The pounding in your head starts. Walking alone makes you sluggish and foggy. Your focus is gone and the only thing you can think about is another bump. It’s only a matter of time before the shakes start to happen. I crave that constant metallic-like drip at the back of my throat.

Finally she unlocked her apartment door and I nearly pushed the tall redhead out of my way, but all I did was squeeze her waist in order to hide my tremors. “Where’s the can?”

“Down the hall. Second door on the left.” She gestures towards the hallway. I almost sprinted through her apartment, but I couldn’t be suspicious. Shaky palms fish the baggie out of my pocket, dumping the white powder onto her bathroom counter.

Fuck. FUCK! I left my dollar bill on the table at the restaurant. Now I’m getting frantic. Tugging drawers open two at a time. Trying to find anything that won’t make me waste my drug.

Nothing. I shake my head in frustration. This selfish bitch didn’t have anything useful to me. Long fingers grip the edge of the sink before I get my hands to stop shaking long enough to pour a bump onto the back of my hand. Without hesitation, I snorted the small amount. Instantly feeling my headache dissipate.

A satisfied groan left my brims while dumping more onto my hand. Small amounts since I couldn’t find anything hollow. It only took me three bumps to start to feel normal again. It wasn’t until I started to twist the plastic bag that I realized I only had about two more uses.

Ah, but before I had time to get frustrated about that, I heard a knock on the door.

“Hey, is everything okay?” her voice was timid. I nod to myself in the mirror. Shoving the bag into my pocket once more before opening the squeaky door with a crooked grin. Noticing she changed into something more revealing. Prominent cleavage and a generous amount of thigh showing.

“Just finished up. You look like you’re ready for bed.” I was amused by her annoyance. Dressed in some cheap lace and expecting me to take notice. Before she could answer, I slipped an arm around her waist to tug her closer to me. Damage control.

Capturing her lips for a sloppy kiss while a wandering hand grasps her plump ass. Tongue demanding control of her own. Not a complaint in sight as she quickly guides us to her bedroom. Firmly gripping her hips and tossing her onto her bed. I waste no time in stripping out of my jeans, removing my jacket as well.

“Don’t move.” My voice is stern while my dark orbs make contact with hers. Positioning myself between her slender thighs. I gently drag my knuckle down the front of her thong, watching the way her folds practically engulf the fabric. I heard her quiet croon, encouraging me to continue. A wandering hand slid behind her to unhook her pushup bra with little to no effort.

While my other hand was focused on removing her loosened bra, I tore the cheap, frayed thong off of her. Glistening lips were put on display for me, only causing my cock to stir in my boxers. Honestly, I probably would be as soft as a cooked noodle if I wasn’t high. With a swift motion, my tongue flicked against her clit. She was already so wet which meant I didn’t have to work hard.

“Just fuck me already.” The woman begged under her breath. Say less. Removing my black Klein’s within seconds; revealing my hard cock. Guiding the first few inches into her soaked pussy. The redhead moaned out quietly as a strong hand found its way around her small throat. Her velvety walls invited me further with each and every hard thrust I made. Her blunt fingernails dug their way into my back.

As my fingers squeezed the sides of her throat, I felt her muscles tighten around me. Allowing a grunt to escape my lips. “You dirty whore. I’m sure you were practically dripping for me at the restaurant, huh?”

You’d be surprised by how many women in Seattle like to be degraded in bed. I don’t know what kind of issues you have to possess in order to get off by that, but you must be a pretty fucked up individual. Encased in such self deprecation and parental problems. I could call some whore off the street a “worthless cum rag” and she’d most likely cream herself.

All the words the redhead spoke to me went in one ear and out the other. I was far too lost in her mediocre pussy to pay attention to much else, but something caught the corner of my eyes. A picture. It was a framed photo of the broad and a man and I couldn’t help but to chuckle. Pulling out of her mid-stroke immediately as my chuckling gets louder.

“You clams are all the same.” I shake my head, gesturing towards the photo. Giving her no time to react while I go on my tangent. “Fucking some cokehead while you have a boyfriend. Typical, no good slut.” By this time, my boxers and jeans were back on. Rage started to set in the more I thought about her cheating on her boyfriend. I couldn’t help but to tie it all in with the women who abandoned me.

How could this huge fashion designer not come and find her brother? Someone she considered a “best friend” when we were younger. Where the fuck was my mother? Not a single soul, who I thought cared about me, tried to find me. Before I could stop myself, my fist went full force into her drywall. I ignored her actions while trying to halt me. Didn’t even hear her explain to me that it’s her brother in the photo and not her boyfriend. None of it mattered anyway since I was halfway down the stairwell now.

Blood trickled down my lengthy fingers, but I didn’t feel a thing. Numb to it all. I had to be or else I’d go fucking insane. If I had to think about where my family was compared to where I am? I’d probably end up with some dirty ass needle in my arm. While I am a junkie, I’m not trying to get high to the point of being someone unrecognizable, even to myself.

Well, look at the time. Time for my next fix. A shaky palm fishes the baggie from my pocket, yet again, cursing under my breath when I realize it’s not even enough to get me buzzed. “God dammit!” And before I could pull out my Tracfone to contact my dealer, red and blue lights pop up behind me. My first instinct?

Run.

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hiddendreamer67 · 7 years

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ch. 8- Jacksepticeye and the beanstalk

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

Jack rolled his foot around, testing his limits. The ankle seemed to working better with every minute. It felt more like waking a sleeping limb than recovering from a possibly broken bone. Certainly it was capable for a bit of walking. Jack estimated that within the hour he’d be fully healed and ready to climb back down the beanstalk and away from the castle forever. ….away from Mark. “Stop it.” Jack scolded himself. “You can’t pity the guy just because he helped you out. Don’t forget, he’s the reason you’re hurt!” Jack’s self-scolding didn’t stop the flow of guilt. Could he live with himself, disappearing with no explanation? Possibly scaring Mark, who would wonder what happened? While the thought of ‘scaring’ the giant seemed amusing, Jack didn’t have it in him. When the floor began to rumble, Jack stood up on the pillow and tried to look confident. “I brought pancakes!” Mark said cheerfully, carrying in a plate of fluffy pancakes and grinning even wider when he saw Jack standing up. “Hey, looks like you’re feeling better.” “Uh, yeah.” Jack tried to continue his confident exterior look even while quaking in his boots at the mere sight of Mark. The giant came and sat next to the couch again, setting the plate on the coffee table. On top of the pancakes three times Jack’s size, there were some tiny droplet pancakes that were clearly made just for him. The thought made Jack feel more guilty for leaving. “Look, Mark-” Jack rubbed his neck, not sure how to continue. “-I, uh, appreciate everything you’ve done to help me, but it’s really best that I go.” “You’re leaving?” Mark’s smile fell faster than a kid who realized Santa brought him coal. “I’ve gotta head home.” Jack shrugged, not meeting his eye. “Why?” Mark asked. “Is there someone waiting up?” “Uh, no.” Jack lied, biting his lip. There was no way he would even chance putting his Ma in danger. “I live alone.” “Well, what’s the hurry then?” Mark pushed. “Do you live far? I could help you get there faster. If you need something, I can help you get it. Hell, if you wanted to just move in with me you could!” Jack’s eyes went wide as Mark began rambling on. Jack had no intention of being treated like a caged pet the rest of his life, no matter the kind nature of his captor. “Uh, nah.” Jack tried to just shrug off the thought, hoping Mark would drop it. “Why not?” Mark urged. “I could help you get a lil’ bed, and make lots of food, keep Chica away-” “IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE!” Jack shouted suddenly, pissed off. Mark stopped, looking at Jack with an unreadable expression. Jack gulped, having momentarily forgotten their size gap. If Mark got enraged, there was nothing Jack could do to protect himself. “I’m sorry.” Jack apologized immediately, frightened of the damage his words had already caused. When Mark didn’t react, Jack kept talking. “Look, I appreciate your intentions, but I’m still an independent man. I can and prefer to take care of myself on my own terms. You understand, don’t you?” “Yes.” Mark looked almost guilty. “I’m sorry, Jack. I understand if you want to go now.” Reaching into his chest pocket, Mark grabbed something and set it down in front of Jack. “Here.” “My pack!” Jack gasped. It was dripping dog drool and a bit squashed, but still usable. He put it on immediately, grateful to have it back. “I figured it was yours.” Mark smirked. “It certainly didn’t fit me very well.” Jack rolled his eyes at the thought of Mark attempting to wear the pack the size of his finger. “I do have one request, though.” Mark said, sounding hesitant. “Would you at least stay for lunch?” “Well….” Jack considered it. He was already very late to return home and chop down the beanstalk like Ma told him. “Please?” Mark pleaded, picking up one of the tiny pancakes with his fingerpads and holding it out to Jack. The heavenly aroma reached Jack’s nose, causing his stomach to growl louder than ever. Mark smirked, hearing the growl and knowing he had won. “Fine.” Jack muttered, snatching the pancake as quickly as possible. Mark looked happy as a lark, grabbing a pancake for himself and taking a few bites. Jack turned his head, trying not to watch as mouthfuls of food the size of him were ground up by those giant molars, sloshed around in saliva and pushed to the back of the throat….Jack gulped at the thought of being in their place. “So, Jack,” Mark swallowed, either not noticing or ignoring his guest’s discomfort, “tell me about yourself.” “I’m Jack, and I want another pancake.” Jack replied, having finished his first one. Mark sighed, handing over the entire batch of tiny pancakes. “No, c’mon.” Mark sighed. “I want to know more about you.” “What if I want to know more about you?” Jack pointed out. “This seems very one-sided.” “There’s….not much to me.” Mark had hesitated. “Do you live alone?” Jack turned into interrogative mode. Mark seemed to wince. “Just me and Chica.” Mark joked, but his eyes lacked their amused charm. Jack wondered at this. Was Mark lonely? “Alright, now you, Jack. Are there other people your size then?” “Not telling.” Jack answered immediately. “Are there other people your size?” “Not telling.” Mark smirked. Jack should have expected that, in hindsight. “Are you some kind of leprechaun?” Jack nearly choked on his pancake. “What?!” Jack exclaimed. “Do I look like a lil’ fool with a pot of fake gold?” “You’ve nailed the little fool part.” Mark laughed. Jack turned a shade of crimson, annoyed with how Mark refused to take him seriously. They ate in silence for a few minutes, the only sound being Mark’s chewing. “Jack,” Mark said softly, “Was that you I saw a few days ago?” Jack froze. Hiding in the fireplace. Running out the door. Bringing back the bean. “Yeah.” Jack answered truthfully, uncomfortable. “And again, last night?” Mark continued. “Or was that just a weird dream?” “I was there.” Jack sighed. “Why were you sneaking around my house?” Mark asked. Jack shifted around, not sure how to respond. He didn’t really have a good explanation without giving away his family, but would Mark be angry and assume he was a thief? “I can’t tell you, Mark.” Jack decided, putting the last unfinished pancake to the side. Mark was quiet a moment. “You know that fairytale I mentioned, Jack and the beanstalk?” Mark said, sounding more serious than usual. Jack looked up at him slightly fearfully. Mark seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “In the story, Jack comes three times to steal from the giant at the top of the beanstalk.” “I didn’t-!” Jack shut up when Mark put up a hand, telling Jack to let Mark continue. “Jack only comes three times.” Mark repeats. “Then he climbs down the beanstalk and cuts it down, never to return.” Jack felt goosebumps forming. How the hell was his life in a weird children’s book?! “I know that’s not reality,” Mark continued, “but- I’ve just got a weird feeling I might never see you again. And I want you to know, I don’t want that. I won’t ever force you to stay, but- jeez, if you ever wanted to come hang out please do. If you need help I’m here but I understand wanting to be on your own. You don’t have to promise anything, but... I hope I see you again.” Jack nodded, not trusting his voice right now. There were too many emotions tumbling through his little brain. If he was conflicted about leaving before, he was even more conflicted now that he had a rational reason to come back. Mark seemed to be miserable out on his own, and Jack felt guilty about walking out of his life forever. Jack barely knew the guy, but still wished there was a way everyone could be happy. Sometimes not everyone got a happy ending. “Sorry.” Mark wiped at his eye. “I’m a dramatic sap. Thanks for staying for lunch. It was nice to meet you, Jack.” He stuck out his index finger towards Jack. “Likewise, Mark.�� Jack took the index finger with both hands and shook it as an attempt at a normal handshake. The two smiled at the ridiculousness of it all. “I...I hope to see you again too.” Jack scolded himself- how could he get Mark’s hopes up whilst knowing he could never return? “So, do you want a lift off the couch, or…?” Mark trailed off, not sure how to go from here. He held out his hand, palm up, in offering. “Nah, I can just do this.” Jack tied his rope to the edge of the armhold. After testing the knot, he slowly began to rappel down the rope to the ground. Thank god the rope reached all the way. “That seems kind of inefficient.” Mark argued. “I could help.” “It’s the principle!” Jack argued, only now reaching halfway. “Whatever.” Mark rolled his eyes. Jack suddenly paused. “Hold on, where’s that dog?” Jack clutched to the rope tightly, worried about being on the ground and having to sprint from the mutt again. While his ankle felt fine, Jack lacked the mental stamina for a fight-or-flight response. It had been a long day. “Chica?” Mark said. “She’s locked upstairs. Don’t worry, I didn’t want her startling you anymore.” Jack nodded in thanks, now touching his feet to the ground. “So, uh, how you planning on getting that rope down?” Jack gazed at the knot several dozen feet above his head. Shite, he hadn’t thought of that. “My souvenir to you.” Jack pretended it was intentional. He was too proud to try to get it back now. “You’re welcome.” “Gee, thanks.” Mark rolled his eyes, clearly not buying it. Jack looked around, not recognizing his surroundings from floor level. “Uh, which way to the door outside?” Jack asked. “That way.” Mark pointed to a doorway. Jack tried not to flinch as the small movement of giant muscles cast a large shadow over the irishman. “Go through that doorway, and it’s to your left.” “Thanks.” Jack began to walk across the room, trying to ignore the feeling of Mark watching his every move. Jack understood the sense of curiosity, but this was ridiculous. His ears turned redder at a steady pace the further he went. “Where you going, exactly?” Mark teased a few minutes later when Jack was only a little further. Jack suppressed a groan. Curse these giant rooms. “To find a beanstalk.” Jack replied. Mark laughed, clearly not realizing the truth to the statement. Jack flipped him off. It seemed to take forever to reach the doorway, only for Jack to turn and see the outside door still closed but with no blanket underneath. “You want me to come open that?” Mark called out, clearly enjoying himself. Jack curled his hands into fists, trying not to get angry at his cocky attitude. “I’ll be fine.” Jack yelled back, walking to the door. He had squeezed under once and could do it again. “You sure?” Mark called, but Jack gave no reply. Now out of Mark’s gaze, Jack dashed down the hall as fast as his legs would carry him. Ma was going to be so mad about his tardiness. Reaching the door, Jack sucked in his breath and went through the crack beneath the door. It was harder on a full stomach, but he managed. The floor began to rumble at the sound of Mark approaching, but it was too late- Jack was already gone. Jack ran across the field of grass, ignoring his rapid breathing and stitch in his side. The ankle gave him no trouble. The sky, being the same above and below the clouds, indicated that the sun would be setting shortly. Jack urged on. Reaching the edge of the grass, Jack stopped to catch a breath. Something was wrong. Looking around, Jack gasped in realization. The beanstalk was gone.

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arabellaflynn · 7 years

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I remember predicting when we moved into this place that I'd spend my bad days sitting in bed, staring out the window at Dorchester Bay. Right now I'm staring at where the bay would be, were it not for the intervening fog, but otherwise my guess seems to have been rather accurate. My left hip hurts. I'm not sure if it's something in the joint or in my lower back that's objecting, but it's doing so vociferously. It has the same peculiar electric quality as the moment you bash your funny bone, or bite down on tinfoil with a metal filling. It's not the dull throbbing red ache or the sharp stab of having actually injured myself; it's the pointless pain of a nerve that is holding a grudge over something, possibly something imaginary, and doesn't want to let go. It started before Arisia, but I had a show to do, so I ignored it until I noticed it was starting to make my gait go funny on stairs. Funny thing about neuropathic pain; even if it didn't begin with you actually injuring something, your body responds as if you had, by knotting the muscles around the sore spot in order to protect it. I wanted to put my foot sideways and tip my knee in so I could pull myself up stairs with my thigh rather than push from behind, even though that did nothing to change the way anything felt. Survival instincts are odd sometimes. In any case, walking cockeyed like that will eventually do real, tangible bad things to your knee. So I made myself locomote normally until I got home from work on Friday. I made sure I had nothing to do over the weekend. I think I had a peanut butter sandwich for dinner. And then for the next two and a half days, my meals consisted of tea and painkillers, because fuck me. Certain kinds of movement help, but shockingly enough, there is a limit to how much hula hooping I can do in one go. I don't know what it is, because I make myself stop at the end of the movie, but I assume this limit exists, especially when I'm getting most of my calories from instant Thai tea mix with "cream" (read: dried milk solids and non-dairy coffee creamer powder) and sugar (amazingly, real sugar). I've spent most of the rest of the time trying to pull my left knee over my right shoulder. Me being me, I am having an unreasonable amount of success at this, but can't get anything new to pop, so as soon as I let go it goes right back to hurting. People ask me, "How much does it hurt?" I don't know. More than 'ouchie' and less than 'I can't stand up'. The standard pain scale that runs from "happy face" to "crying frowny face" isn't very useful for chronic things. It's more good for acute pain of recent onset, where you can compare how much something hurts now to how much it didn't hurt before. If you were fine 48 hours ago and now you're doubled over and begging for a morphine smoothie, that's important diagnostic information. If it's hurt the same for a week and a half... maybe that's normal? Who knows? This is more useful. It ranks pain by how much it affects your ability to function, rather than how it 'feels'. This is something I can note intellectually even when my internal monologue is mainly reminders to smile at others, interspersed with a lot of free-floating, family-unfriendly words. I have a rule that says I am allowed to think whatever I want, as long as I behave like a civilized human being. I routinely do not notice how much something hurts until I realize that, while I've been physically negotiating the T like a normal member of the herd, I have been fantasizing about kidney-punching every. single. person. in front of me until the fucking crowd fucking moves fucking faster go just go what is the fucking matter with all of you JUST GO. According to that chart, I have learned how to compensate for up to about a 6.5. I don't know how seamless it is; I can't tell from inside, because it is an altered state of mind, and it's distracting when every other thought you have is ow fuck i want to go home. Probably if you knew me well you'd notice I wasn't the zippiest I've ever been, but for people who aren't accustomed to me and my big mouth, it would be undetectable. I hit 5 regularly, usually with musculoskeletal stuff that makes moving uncomfortable. I kept putting off a trip to the supermarket, because while walking down to the T stop would be moving and therefore better, exiting both the house and the station at the other end would involve stairs, and being on the train would mean sitting or standing still for a while, both of which made things much worse. I can do certain things up to about a 7, especially if nobody bugs me to take my hat or sunglasses off. (Those are usually either from migraines or eventually bring one on, so light is my mortal enemy.) I have to be given time to make a plan, and then allowed follow through on it without any interruptions or alterations. I don't have enough capacity to recalculate if something changes, or make any new decisions, however small. If you try to force me to do either of those things, I deadlock and fall apart. Being sick will also grind me down that far. I remember a time, years ago, when I had the honest-to-God flu, and a roommate who was trying to be nice asked me if I wanted her to leave the windows open or closed when she left for work. I hauled the blankets over my head and wailed at her not to make me responsible for the state of the windows. Around 8 is when I start bowing out of plans on the grounds that I am 'sick'. At that point I am not physically capable of giving a shit about consequences anymore, so I just send out cancellation messages and go to bed. You could set the house on fire around me and I'd just curl up tighter in bed and think 'huh. fire now. okay i guess'. A guy on reddit recently illustrated how depressed he'd been in the past with the story of how a guy with a gun jumped out at him one night and demanded his wallet, and he just said, "No." The mugger was very confused and eventually went away, but the point wasn't that he was stalwart or brave or fierce; it was just that was in such a state of shutdown that he had no feelings left one way or the other about being shot, and lacked the energy to be robbed properly. [I don't recall ever hitting 10, but I may have hit a 9 when I was five and broke my forearm. The part I do remember is that they kept giving me IM Demerol, and I kept telling them it wasn't doing anything. They finally topped me out and had to set the bone no matter what. I don't recall that specific chunk of the night, which is probably a thing my brain has done on purpose. I'm told I went dead white and nearly passed out. I definitely hit a 9 the time I cracked a molar and exposed a root, which was infected by the time I could afford to go to the dentist. It is the only time I have ever seriously considered banging my head against the floor until I passed out, because the initial bottle of Vicodin and the later bottle of Percocet did not work. I coped by sleeping as much as I could, titrating myself full of NSAIDs, and knocking back DXM until I was no longer aware of having teeth.] People also ask me why I keep doing stuff, if things hurt 'that much'. Firstly, define 'that much'. Nobody ever tells you when that is, or gives you any good criteria for deciding for yourself. If you're sitting down, it doesn't hurt 'that much' and you're a lazybones who should be working like everyone else. If you're still doing things, then it's your fault for not taking care of yourself by sitting down when it hurts 'that much'. I do it for the same reason I walked home last night festooned with four bags of groceries and two hula hoops, in sleet and wind gusts of up to 40mph: There isn't another option. I was at the T stop. I needed to be at home. So I walked. It was unpleasant. Lots of things are unpleasant. You learn very quickly that your feelings do not matter. The universe is a cold sociopathic kidnapper holding a gun to your head and telling you that you will do the thing or you don't get to survive. So you do the thing, and shut the fuck up about it before worse happens. If you're incapable of doing the thing, you might get mercy the first couple of times, but it's at the whim of your captor. Someday they're going to run out of whims. You trudge home in the sleet anyway, in case that that day isn't today. I hope that didn't sound inspirational. It wasn't meant to be. I am incredibly cranky right now, and that was meant to be an illustration of my current mood, and why I have given up and decided to just spend the day in bed crying. I do not do things while I am in pain because I am strong or courageous or whatever. Don't kid yourself. I do things under duress. from Blogger http://ift.tt/2juazKg via IFTTT -------------------- Enjoy my writing? Consider becoming a Patron, subscribing via Kindle, or just toss a little something in my tip jar. Thanks!

#IFTTT #Blogger #Unsolicited Advice

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spamzineglasgow · 4 years

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ON: the occasional necessity of utter unhappiness, by Meredith Grace Thompson

In this latest instalment of her ON____ series (you can also read parts 1 and 2), Meredith Grace Thompson braces the subject of happiness and its undoing, reflecting on a gendered experience of sadness in public transport and bartending. What follows is a bittersweet and complicated noticing of care, attention and gesture, among the everyday rhythms of misogyny, labour and conversation.

> I move to the very edge of my bus seat because the woman who just sat next to me, sideways in her seat so that her back is to me, is laughing with her boyfriend—or rather, laughing with a man across the aisle, who I am assuming he is her boyfriend but I actually have no idea—and keeps leaning back to laugh, touching my shoulder. I don’t like being touched. They both have the sickly sweet wreak of vodka on their breath and their illegible laughter is so loud and the light of the bus is so bright and I feel nauseatingly claustrophobic. It’s dark outside, and I can see the reflection of my strained face in the mirror of window. I look so unhappy.

> It’s true. Hips don’t lie. I am unhappy. Wildly. I am unhappy in my bones; to the marrow. It is seeping through my pores and collecting under my fingernails like dust that slowly turns black in the daylight; the kind of unhappiness which is a panicked breathing in shallow gasps that comes out of nowhere but feels as though it has always been there and you can’t remember a time when it wasn’t pressing against each individual vertebrae down your entire back and radiating through to your uterus—or some other such organ. I am having trouble keeping it to myself. I have to actively stop myself from turning and grabbing the vodka soaked laughing woman and her laughing friend and shaking them by the shoulders, screaming my unhappiness into their smiling faces. How can they not see that I am in agony?

> I am broken inside.

> Cold and dead like a fish being slapped against a rock, its head held down, neck cut, innards pulled through its gills. What happens to the fish next?

> I will sit on this bus and I will rot away and no one will ever care. Soon, my bones will be the only thing left of me—long after whatever animates me is gone, my skeleton will sit, slumped in this bus seat, and the bones that I have never seen will be all that is left of me; the only thing to tell anyone anything about me. And one day, an archeologist will find this (clearly fundamentally important bus) and my bones in it, and they will tell this archeologist exactly how I died—right here, of utter unhappiness, on this bus, at night, in the rain, with laughing people all around me. And I will end up in a drawer at the Smithsonian and Dr. Temperance Brennan will pity me a great deal, because all bones end up on the tv show Bones, right?

> But then—

> I begin to move. ‘Excuse me.’ I say, very quietly, and the laughing woman shunts slightly to the side, laughing even more as she almost falls onto the man she is speaking to. I wedge my way awkwardly past her. I ring the bell as I walk down the aisle, aware of every joint and crevice of my body as it moves in strange lack of cohesion. Didn’t I learn to walk as a very young child? Where is all that education now? I climb down from the bus. I thanked the driver. I think. I can’t actually remember.

> I am a 45-minute walk from home.

> I stand in the rain and look around me. I am deciding if I should walk or if I should catch the next bus. I don’t think I can sit on another bus.

> I start to walk.

> For years, I worked as a bartender—an odd job as I have a distinctive distain for drunk people—but I enjoyed the observation. People really are fascinating. It was always like being at a party, but you were slightly removed and had something to do like cutting limes and didn’t actually have to speak until spoken to. I was never the kind of bartender to initiate conversation, but I was a good listener. I liked having the same people on the same days of each week. It was comforting to know who would come each day, and what they would order, even if I also hated them (just a little bit). There were regulars I didn’t hate. Those whose lives I knew something about and who I had grown to, if not like, then genuinely care for. And I was happy. I think. I can’t actually remember.

> I hated being a bartender. But it was money and it left my days free to write, and that was what I cared about. I kept a notepad in my pocket, and I could scribble poems as I thought of them, to be decoded later. The unhappiness served a purpose and so it wasn’t really real.

> I think true unhappiness is in stagnation.

> I laugh a lot when I am horrified, or nullified, or just don’t know what else to do. I laugh in exceedingly inappropriate places and at exceedingly inappropriate times. It has always been a fault of mine. The etiquette of what to do with my face whilst I am listening to someone else’s misfortune has always escaped me. There are rare exceptions, but often times my internal monologue goes something along the lines of: this is a very sad story, my god, it’s so fucked up. What face do I make to convey that I understand how fucked up this is? I want [whomever I am listening to] to know that I really am concerned by this story and that I feel for them, but I can feel my face making these weirdly forced grimace type things or—even worse—not moving at all, and they must see that and they must think I am a monster. Where do I normally put my tongue? Is it flattened between my molars? If I don’t put it there, then I’m grinding my teeth into one another and my jaw will ache later, and I will look as though I’m glowering, and maybe I have to sneeze, but I don’t remember anymore.

> I read a book once, in the first person from a woman who self-identified as a sociopath and worried for a full week that I was a sociopath too. She was a Mormon because she said it gave her a sense of morality she did not feel internally. She described fucking with the people around her for the pure pleasure of their misery, and the more I thought about it, the less I worried I was a sociopath. But still: what to do with my face to convey empathy that I do feel, I just worry I don’t perform well enough?

> I am 20 minutes from home.

> There is a strange level of hatred for a female bartender which I have never understood but have most definitely felt. Misogyny is so stupid.

> Kate Manne talks about misogyny as an ecosystem that women must navigate not a feeling that men have. She describes it as the policing arm of patriarchy; those punishment and enforcement systems put into place to correct behavior when a woman or non-cis-male steps out of line of patriarchal norms. That makes sense, I guess.

> I think [hope] the necessity of gender performance is dying slowly.

> I am happy about it.

> I am 5 minutes from home.

> There’s a Japanese idea, kintsugi, that something broken is even more beautiful for being put back together. I think that’s how I feel about happiness.

> As I climb the stairs to my apartment, out of breath by the fourth flight and wishing for some sort of pully system to be installed, primarily for groceries (an elevator is unrealistic), I find myself smiling. My face feels wind burnt and crisp. My legs feel wiry and elastic. The door clicks, pleasingly behind me.

> I light a candle, make myself tea, and go to bed.

Manne, Kate. Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny. New York, Oxford University Press, 2018.

Text and Image: Meredith Grace Thompson

Published: 21/4/20

#essay #essays #Meredith Grace Thompson #Kate Manne #misogyny #patriarchy #bartending #nonfiction #unhappiness

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generouslyteenagealpaca-blog · 6 years

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Why do most people try to scare young drivers with large insurance costs?

"Why do most people try to scare young drivers with large insurance costs?

I am a responsible teen. Why do some people try to tell me I'm not? I hate generalization.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Not to sound stalkerish at all lol I'm just a lil confused on car insurance and want to know what about average is. So can you please put how old you are, what car you drive, and how much you pay... Thanks ALOT it means alot to me :)""

How to talk to somone on the phone to set up appointments for insurance?

hi guys i just got a job at a insurance place and my part of the job is to call people to get insurance leads. does anyone know whats the best way to sell insurance and get appointments? please and thank you

Home Insurance?

If your insurance runs say from 1st November 07 to 1st November 08 and if you make a claim in January 07, and then make another claim on 26th November 07. Does this mean that this is counted as 2 claims differernt years or is this claims counted the same year?""

Car Insurance?

How much do you think it would be (insurance wise) to put a 04 or 05 Mazda RX8 on my insurance? Cause its not under sports car since it has 4 doors. And it would be under my moms name.

Auto insurance for a 19 yr old with a 1989 corvette?

My uncle is handing his 1989 C3 Corvette over to me as a present for getting my license.. I was wondering how much insurance would probably run me..I'm 19. College Student. Good GPA. Employed. I Live in Vegas if that helps. Thanks much!

What auto insurance offices offer reduced cost auto insurance program in the San Fernando Valley?

Details below if you do not know which one I am referring to? I'm not talking about the cliche low cost auto insurance that is available to everyone. etc...I'm talking about a specific plan offered by the state of California available at some insurance offices for low income individuals. I found one office with it, it isn't close enough, does anyone know of any more offices ? The California Low Cost Automobile Insurance Program (LCA): The California Low Cost Automobile Insurance Pilot Program, created in 1999, established a low-cost automobile insurance policy for residents of Los Angeles County and the City and County of San Francisco. California Law requires that all drivers be insured. However, too many low-income drivers remain uninsured because the costs of standard auto insurance premiums are beyond their financial reach. The programs purpose is to provide low-cost automobile liability insurance to good drivers who demonstrate financial need.""

I am a newly licensed 6-20 Florida Insurance Adjuster. My goal is to eventually become an independent adjuster?

I'm thinking since I have no experience, I would start out as a staff adjuster but no one will hire me. Any tips on how to break in? All info is greatly appreciated.""

Non car owner insurance?

Can I get insurance to drive cars if I don't own one? I have friends who will let me drive their cars but I want to get my own insurance. I don't want to risk their no claims in case of an accident and if I don't have an accident I want to build up my own no claims but I can't find anywhere that does this....

Performance car insurance?

is there an insurance company which can provide me with a quote for a performance car? (at a reasonable price) im 19 got a pass plus and had my license for 1 and a half years... ive been driving as a named driver for that time with no claims etc etc ..... i know theres not alot of company's out there which probably wont insure me but its worth a try ey?.

I need health insurance for my baby... please help.?

Sadly we missed the open enrollment date at my husbands job to add our infant son. He could have been added up to 30 days after he was born and we missed the date. We filed an appeal and they denied us. So now I have a 3 month old who has no insurance and cannot see a doctor for his shots or if he gets sick. We make too much money for like medical or healthy families but not enough to afford expensive private insurance for him. ANy advice would be greatly appreciated!!! Thank you

What would happen if I can't afford my car insurance?

I'm 18 and just got a car and insurance. I am set to pay on the 28th of each month, starting this month. My insurance is $236 a month and it's being taken directly from my checking account. Say by this time if I was short $20 - $30, what would happen? I know I'd get a $35 overdraft fee from my bank but what happen with the car insurance company?""

Do i need car insurance?

well basically i cracked my sideview mirror and the plastic holding it is a little lifted from normal place.. if i went to an auto shop to fix it, would i need car insurance or could i just get it done and pay with cash?""

""On average, how much is car insurance for a 17 year old in AMERICA?""

I live in the UK where it is a RIP OFF!! I'm 17 and i recently got a car insurance quote for a 1.4 VW Golf and it was like 3000 (around $4600). And that just for a 1.4 engine car. What's it like in America?? What engines do young drivers usually buy in a car and how much is it over there? On TV and that, Americans get like 3 litre cars for their first cars, that's why i'm curious. Cheers.""

IS THERE A LISTING OF CAR INSURANCE COMPNANIES?

""Getting a New Car, Insurance question?""

Hey, so i'm going to be getting a 2011 toyota yaris and i was wondering how much the insurance on it would be, i'm 19 years old.""

What kind of health insurance should I get?

I'm 20 I live with my parents we have U visas I know I don't qualify for Medicaid but I know we have to get insurance or pay the fine. What are my best options? Something affordable. Any advice would help because I know nothing about this! Thank y'all

Why do most people try to scare young drivers with large insurance costs?

I am a responsible teen. Why do some people try to tell me I'm not? I hate generalization.

How much does teen car insurance cost?

I'm 16, and I'm about to get my drivers license. My dad is insured through the aarp people because its cheaper for him. he called them to ask how much it would cost to put me on his insurance, and they said 120 dollars a month. I thought this seemed a little unreasonable, because i'm just going to drive a three thousand dollar car like twice a week. How much do you/ your parents pay for car insurance for young drivers? I have good grades. can that get me a discount?""

Cheapest insurance companies for 17 year old in the UK?

Got my cheapest quote from AdrianFlux so far. Anyone know any really cheap companies that would cover a 17 year old in Northern Ireland. Thanks

What company offers the cheapest motorcycle insurance in Toronto?

I Want to buy a motorcycle around $ 5000 and wondering how much would be the insurance for the following motorcycles 2006-2009 Honda CBR RR 600 2006-2009 Honda CBR 125 How can I be able to get discount on my premium. I have a full M licence with no accidents for like 2 years. I live on Dufferin st close to bloor and I am 25 years old male Serious replies only please because having a car is too expensive for me.

How much should we ask the insurance company for when settling a car accident claim?

My boyfriend was recently in an accident. His chiropractor told him that when settling his claim, he should ask for three times the amount of all his total expenses. My aunt was also told the same thing by her doctor. I was wondering if anyone knew if this was a law or something?""

Health insurance please help?

When you roll over, job wise, when does your health insurance usually start?""

Is -3 driving record bad or good for insurance?

I just got promoted at work and now I have to be issued a company truck and i am wondering if my employees insurance would cover -3 driving points.

Affordable car insurance/ college student. please answer =]?

hey everyone! i am looking for some car insurance! like... the most affordable i can find... for a 98 nissan. i am 18 years old, no accidents or tickets. and im a broke college student soooooo the cheaper the better, and just liability is fine. any suggestions? good/bad experiences? thank you!!""

What is the best life insurance at best value?

which company offers the most life insurance at the cheapest rate

Will my auto insurance rate go up? (Ontario)?

I got a ticket for making an illegal U-turn (2 demerit points). I am an occasional driver with a G license. My insurance is with Allstate. Will my insurance rates go up? Let me kno if you have any experience with Allstate, like if you got a ticket (what was it for?) and if your rates went/didn't go up (how much?). Thank you""

How much should i pay for insurance premium for an indoor playground business?

Do porches have the most insurance rate?

Temporary Ban For Driving with no insurance?

If I received a temporary driving ban in court for driving with no insurance with no points given would my insurance premium still rise?

How much would it cost for three 18-20 year olds to live on their own in a 2 bedroom apartment?

I am currently 15 but am planning to move in with my best friend, and my boyfriend at the age of 18. Can anyone tell me what the prices may range for about? We want-- A two bedroom apartment. (Not specifically top notch) Heat of course, but air conditioning not needed. One car with insurance. No cable, phone, or internet. Electricity, Water, and food of course are important. I will be in school as well as my friend, so we can work part time. The boyfriend can work part time or full time. Does anyone know how much this may come to? Around? Aim high because we really want to be prepared. Thank you all so much. =]""

Does anyone know the average cost for motorcycle insurance in New York City?

Not for a new street-bike, but for an older bike, like a triumph""

What are the payments on an Infiniti G35 Coupe?

How much for the car a month? And the insurance? If anyone has this car please let me know how much you pay for the car & the insurance. Thank you so much in advance.

""DO MEMBERS OF CONGRESS HAVE TO GET THE NEW HEALTH INSURANCE? IF NO, THEN WHY NOT?

I have read on comments under articles on Yahoo and someone said they are required to get the same health insurance but i can not find this on any news article.

What kind of health insurance should i get for my husband and I?

I work one job 35 hours a week.. and I need health insurance... with us being so poor we all still need to go to the doctors. Even if there is a package deal where health, dental, and vision were together or something ideas??""

How can I verify if the car I'm driving has insurance?

I do have the VIN# and car info, but there was no insurance papers in car. I also don't have a contact number on the car's owner""

""Roughly, how much is the insurance on a Peugeot 106?""

Im a girl, Provisonal Lincense Holder (learner driver) 18 years old, looking for no more than a 1.5 engine. Also how much to they cost to tax. Thanks in advance for everyones help, it is much appriceated x.x.x.x.x""

Do i have to have collision insurance for a financed used car?

My coworker told me that I would have to have collision insurance if I want to financed a used or new car. Is this True? Can I just put it on liability even if the car us only 6000 and not payed off yet?

Why do people in the US waste money on car insurance?

There are 5 states such as California where 25% of the public has NO car insurance...while the rest of the country has an average of 7% uninsured. Obviously no one is enforcing insurance so...why bother getting insurance at all. Isn't it cheaper to have none..and more un-American to have it? After all, Americans generally think they should not have to pay for anything, so why pay for anything at all?""

How does business insurance work in a lawsuit?

As a small business, I'm finally getting around to looking at business insurance. God forbid I should get sued, but that would be the only reason I would get insurance at this point. If I get sued (assuming I did nothing wrong that would terminate coverage), what are my responsibilities with regard to paying legal fees? What role will the insurance company play or what control will they have in the litigation process?""

""NO MONTHLY PAYMENTS, underground CAR INSURANCE?""

I heard that there is a car insurance where you only pay $50 one time, no monthly payments, but you get absolutely NO coverage, so if you're in an accident you are basically screwed. it is a legal insurance if a cop pulls you over and check your insurance it comes up fine. Maybe there are other ones that range in fees? Either way does anyone know any companies that do THE ONE TIME FEE .... IT IS TO PURCHASE JUST THE INSURANCE CARD. BUT PASSES CLEAN LIKE YOU ARE COVERED. please help?""

How much (Aprox.) would car insurance cost for a living in Iowa?

19 year old male living in Iowa, zip code 50659 '96 Camaro.""

How much would insurance cost for a 22 year old to be insured with his mother?

My mum has been driving for 24 years . The car I want to be a secondary driver is the Honda Jazz 2004 which is 1.3 Litre. How much is insurance looking to cost around?

Why do most people try to scare young drivers with large insurance costs?

I am a responsible teen. Why do some people try to tell me I'm not? I hate generalization.

What is the absolute cheapest auto insurance out there?

Where can i get it the cheapest!? online or not. i dont care of all these extra benefits just basic full coverage insurance. I havent picked a car out yet but want to find cheapest first. im 19, male with a few traffic violations. also i am in the military if there are any good sites that have a discount. i have been researching and researching and no luck, please help!""

Will it be more expensive to get health insurance in January?

When I did my income tax they said starting 2014 there gonna start charging a penalty fee for not having health insurance I'm looking for some right now but I'm not working right now and my employer dosent provide insurance so I was thinking in January when I start working Will it be more expensive because there's like a lot deadlines for insurance right now in December

350z insurance cost tx 16year old?

how much is insurance for a 2006 350z for a 16 year old first car in texas?

Average docter visit cost in oradell nj w/o insurance?

does anyone know average docter visit cost in oradell nj w/o insurance?

How much is car insurance?

I'm 17 years old male and i have a 2001 ford mustang in great shape I live in Nashua Nh. and I just got my liscence. can anyone tell me how much my insurance would probley be?

Muscle/Sports car insurance question...?

Would a 1971 Ford Torino 4 door sedan be considered a sports/muscle car to insurance companies? I am trying to find a way around the muscle car insurance rates while still having a muscleish car. Any other car suggestions would be great.

How much increase will I expect in my car insurance premium after an accident that was my fault?

I rear-ended a car that in turn rear-ended another car. Damage to my car cost $6500, liability claims against my policy at $5000. Also one driver claimed for bodily injury amounting to $2000. I am insured under Progressive in Texas""

Need a car with VERY cheap insurance. 17 year old male.?

Im just about to pass my driving test and i'm looking to buy a car, something very small like a 1.1L. I've had a few insurance quotes and then results are coming up as 7000?! Even for a ford fiesta or a peugot 306. I put the annual mileage down to 3000 and put my dad as a named driver but it is still very high. What cars could be lower thn this, and any good insurance company that offer low quotes for younger drivers.""

Is it required to buy insurance if you rent a car ?

Well, I'm going to tell my mom to rent a car next Thursday and I'm not sure if she HAVE to buy insurance for it. She already have car insurance from Triple A, can she use the car insurance she have for the rental car? Is that okay? When I reserved the car for Avis last weekend, it said that you can purchase a protection for the car for an extra 18 dollars, im not sure if that's insurance or not. It said its recommended, but not required. Also, no where on the site said that you have to buy insurance for the rental car. Is there already insurance for those rental cars? I'm so confused. pleease help!!""

What is the easiest/cheapest insurance company in Ireland to get insured on with an endorsement and 5 points?

A friend of mine was caught drink driving and has gotten his licence back but with an endorsement and 5 points on his licence, any insurance company he has tried has turned him away. What are his options car wise? And what are the best companies to go to? And also - he is 23 what price range would he be looking at? Thanks in advance for the answers!""

Can i switch over car insurance to new car/ Montana to Wisconsin?

I had insurance for my old car when i was living in Montana, liability coverage or whatever is the cheapest. I got rid of my old car, moved to Wisconsin and bought a new (used) car. Can i switch my insurance over to the new car i bought? I got my insurance through AAA> Any advice would be helpful>thanks""

Insurance coverage for stolen car?

Car was stolen, then recovered, with some damage. I have comprehensive. Insurance company is sure to cover body work. Will they also check and/or compensate me for less obvious damage (i.e. the wear and tear to the car incurred from being drag-raced for several hours)? Will they compensate me for items of value stolen out of the car? How does that work?""

How is mandating health insurance socialism? Why is no one rioting about car insurance?

Healthcare is still run by the private sector. Just more people will be able to get it. How is ensuring everyone has insurance socialized medicine? Healthcare is run by the private sector either way.

Rental Car Insurance-I don't have a auto insurance.What are the coverage i have to buy from rental company?

Hi,I'm new to US.I stay in california.I want to rent a car and confused with the insurance options.could anyone help me,what are all the coverages(LDW,SLP etc) that i need to rent a car?.I don't have a personal auto insurance.""

Affordable health insurance?

how does health insurance work? what are we really paying monthly? what are deductibles and premiums? my boyfriend needs health insurance he is 22 and a smoker and lives in nj he graduated from college already so he cannot get the school insurance and his job does not offer him insurance where can i find affordable heatlh insurance for him

How much on average would car insurance in Calgary be for a minor?

(Never been in an accident, never received a ticket of any kind.)""

How to get insurance to buy a car?

Im about to be 18, and have some saved money to buy a new, cheap car to get me to school/work, but Im a little confused. Ive never done this before and have to all alone now. I know I need insurance on the car to buy it legally, but I'm not sure how to get car insurance coverage first. Do I call my preferred future insurance provider and tell them I need insurance proof for a car Im about to buy? Im not really sure what to do, anybody understand that can help?""

What cars usually have the lowest insurance rates?

I do not have the greatest driving record and am in the market for a car. I also do not have a huge budget (looking to stay under $10,000). I want something newer than 2000 and do not want very high insurance rates. Any ideas?""

How Much is insurance on a fox body mustang?

I really want a fox body mustang and i want to see how much it would cost. It will be my first car and i really want to know before i go car shopping.

How do you put someone on your insurance policy?

I have been insured for 3 years. My bf wants to get a car but with no no claims bonus he is getting quotes in excess of 3000 on the most basic insurance. I've tried to get quotes online to have him on my insurance but driving seperate cars and it seems I can't do this online. Do you have to actually phone them up? I'd prefer to do it online as it's less hassle.

Do I have to pay more for my car insurance?

I purchased a car with a car loan and I had to get full coverage insurance. I pay monthly and I have to do this for 6 months. The sixth month will be on May. I just paid off my car loan so I no longer want to pay extra money for full coverage. I had to pay a down payment for my insurance so my monthly payments would be cheaper. My question is do I have to pay another down payment if I switch to the liability coverage? Do I have to pay those last two months in order to switch to a liability coverage? I live in California.

Is there a site cheaper then http://www.cheap-car-insurance... to find cheap car insurance?

What is the difference between whole and term life insurance?

Which one is better to provide for your families needs if something happed to you?

Why do we care about the people who have no health insurance?

they chose not to get insurance... they chose to by 200 dollar shoes over health insurance.. why do i have to pay for them?????? why am i responsible for someone elses well being? i thought adults were good on their own. i would pay taxes for sal healthcare for ALL children but the adults can go **** themselves who dont have it. its not my problem. i dont have many things that i want to get... i dont see anyone else buying the things i want...

What is the difference between insurance and coinsurance?

I'm on a website looking up health insurance quotes and it also has a column listed for something called coinsurance. What is coinsurance? Here's the site I'm looking at: http://www.lowcosthealthins.com/quote/plans.jsp

Why do most people try to scare young drivers with large insurance costs?

I am a responsible teen. Why do some people try to tell me I'm not? I hate generalization.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/answers-life-insurance-test-lurdes-beach"

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laseroy89 · 7 years

Text

Teeth Problems

As I spat out the last of the toothpaste from my mouth, I glimpsed a flash of white. Putting down my toothbrush, I leaned forward and peered into my mouth. As expected, a pearly white canine shone back at me, a stark contrast to the off-white molars at the back. Shaking my head, I proceeded with the rest of my morning routine before heading off to work.

It has been going on since Monday. I saw the first pearly white incisor on Monday morning, a brightly glinting beacon in the left part of my mouth. Which seemed weird since my head blocked most of the light from entering my mouth, so it should be quite dark in there. Must be my tooth having a good day under my toothbrush.

On Tuesday, I was astounded to find out that incisor remained pearly white. Even better, another of my incisors became whiter, this time on the other side of my mouth. At this point in time, I was a little happy that my teeth were becoming cleaner, but was quite weirded out that they became whiter one by one instead of altogether gradually.

By Wednesday, all that happiness was replaced by complete bewilderment when I found out that the remaining six incisors have turned pearly white as well. I would have been ecstatic at the improvement of my oral hygiene, if not for the pressing itch at the front part of my mouth. I didn’t dare to scratch it with my nails, so I used my toothbrush instead. Oh man, it felt sooooo good. But the itch returned the moment I lifted the toothbrush off my gums. Really annoying. I spent almost twenty minutes fiddling with my gums before I realised I was almost late for work.

By Saturday, I was staring at my teeth again in the mirror. All of them, except my molars, were shining white, and I thought I saw one of them sparkle. This was too weird. Why the hell did my teeth turn this way? Was it something that I ate? But why were my molars left untouched? Were they gonna turn white the next day as well? And why, why the hell are they so GODDAMN itchy? I touched my canine, and I swore the feeling that followed was so satisfying, that I almost fell over from the immense contentment washing over me like a tsunami of pleasure. I was thoroughly weirded out. This happened during the mealtimes too, but even though the food was all over my mouth for longer periods of time, the pleasure wasn’t as intense as a mild, focused contact on one tooth.

Since I was meeting my friend Susan for lunch that day, I planned to have her take a look at my teeth. After all, she happens to work as a nurse at a dentist’s clinic; she could help me find out what was happening inside my mouth.

At that lunch, I had ordered steak, blue rare. I didn’t know why, but I felt the craving for really tough, really raw meat. While waiting for our orders, I tried to make some small talk, but I was simply too distracted by the slab of meat that was soon coming to my plate. The menu picture looked so tantalisingly delicious. I had to resist the gnawing urge to pick up my fork, head to the kitchen and demand it be served immediately. When the dish came, I literally tore into the meat. I ignored the knife; I forcefully stabbed the meat with the fork, bent down and bit down with all the force I could muster. As my teeth sank into the flesh, millimetre by millimetre, I felt intense relief from the itch emanating from my teeth, flooding my entire being. It was total bliss. As if on instinct, I flexed my neck muscles, and with a powerful contraction, ripped a chunk of meat away. Oh my fucking god, the way the meat tugged at my teeth - that was orgasmic.

“You must be ravenous!” I looked up to find Susan staring at me with an amused expression. I suddenly came to my senses - what I did was totally inappropriate.

“You should have seen the waiter’s face. He was trying soooooo hard to hide his absolute disgust…” Susan giggled and tucked into her meal. “I remembered you said something was wrong with your teeth…I don’t see anything wrong when you shredded your steak.”

“Yeah, they became really, really white, like whiter than normal…” I explained my situation to her, but it wasn’t easy to put into words that insatiable itch at the base of my teeth. In the end, she decided to inspect my teeth after the meal.

As she examined my teeth, I couldn’t stop myself from staring at her face. While she constantly shifted positions to get a better look at my teeth, my eyes were fixed on her smooth, luscious skin. How lovely it would be to grab her dainty hands and pull her closer. How wonderful it would be to cup those perfect cheeks and stare into her eyes. How perfect it would be to sink my teeth into that unblemished skin and feel the blood run into my mouth -

“I must remark that your teeth are exceedingly clean! Not a single mark of plaque on them! Even after tearing apart your lunch.” She smiled as she touched my right canine - I even tell which tooth she touched, given how sensitive my gum is. Her single poke sent ripples of pleasure through my body, and I almost lost my composure right there and then. “Although…it’s like they’re sharper and bigger than normal? Yeah, most patients I see have smaller incisors, and definitely less pronounced canines. But overall, very, very good.”

“Ha, thanks.” She was so kind and helpful that I felt sorry for those disgusting thoughts about her. Dammit, Susan has been a friend of mine for more than five years and yet here I was ogling at her like she was a piece of meat. But as we bid each other goodbye, I was a little dejected that I didn’t clamp my jaws shut when she had her finger in my mouth.

That night, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was going to find out what was turning my teeth white. If the trend continued, then tonight at least one of my molars should turn white. And I was prepared to stay up late the entire night to find out what the hell was happening.

It was now 11pm. Even though I needed light to watch my teeth, my bedroom light was hurting my eyes. I decided to turn it off instead, and looked in the mirror to check if I could still see my teeth. And…my white teeth were glowing. What the fuck. They looked even sharper and larger than normal, and illuminated my entire mouth. I could see saliva dripping from the ribbed roof of my mouth, glinting in the pale light given off by my teeth. This was fucked up. No body part should glow like a fucking light stick.

The full moon cast eerie shadows in my bedroom. Even though it was really close to midnight, I felt oddly energised. I didn’t ingest a single drop of coffee or any stimulant, yet I was restless. Energy coursed through me, begging to be released. My muscles tensed, my ears perked up, my hair stood on end. I was on high alert despite being safe and sound in my bedroom.

Then I felt it.

It was a tingling sensation, at where my mouth ends and my throat begins. It was like, for lack of a better word, a ball of pure energy, getting larger, pulsating, quivering. After a few minutes, I shuddered as surge after surge of electricity was emitted from that ball of energy, travelling along my gums. My teeth expanded and contracted with each pulse, gradually growing bigger. But I could see nothing at all - my mouth was forced shut by an unseen force. I could only stare at myself in the mirror, grasping my jaw, a panicked expression fixed on my face.

Then the visions started. The menu picture of the steak, my tearing of the meat apart, my fantasies of ripping into Susan - it all came back to me, replaying in my mind, again and again, along with every single memory I have of consuming meat. The thoughts flashed through my head along with each pulse of energy through my gums. I doubled over, massaging my temples, trying to think of happy things - doing whatever I could to prevent the primal, ravenous hunger within me from rearing its ugly head. But to no avail. Instead, for every single idle thought I have, the predator in me flooded my mind with adrenaline, making me break out in sweat and filling me with an excitement that pushed out all other existing thoughts. It was as if there was some fucking hungry hellhound in my fucking brain showering all his nasty little perversions on my poor little soul and trying to wrest my sanity away from my grasp, kicking away any little thing that resembled humane emotions.

It was overwhelming, it was giving me a headache, it was MAKING ME HUNGRY. I looked at myself in the mirror, and saw a pathetic human clutching his head in pain, trying so hard not to surrender, but losing the battle, bit by bit.

I’ve had enough. I forced my fingers into the gap between my lips. And pulled. Hard. I opened up a little slit, but still couldn’t see inside.

For a moment, everything stopped. The energy pulses, the predatory urges, the pain - they all ceased. Ohhhhhh wait wait wait, come on, let me just enjoy the moment of clarity, before - shit hit the fan - no, shit blasted the fucking roof off.

My jaws were pushed open with so much force, I thought they broke. I was thrown off my bed, crouching on the floor in front of my mirror. I watched in horror as nerve-like lines appeared in my gums, glowing with a pulsing white light. Then my teeth glowed very brightly, and my mouth exploded.

Or rather, I felt like it exploded. With all the physical pain but none of the physical damage. None that I could see at least.

My mouth was still being pried open, despite already stretched to its limits. I struggled to support my jaws, but stopped moving as I caught what was happening in the mirror.

My teeth were coming out. It started with my front two incisors. So many little legs grew out from the sides of the teeth, and slowly, they pushed away from the gums. I could feel the root of the teeth leave my jaw, and damn that was excruciating. They mimicked little cockroaches - after lifting themselves out of the gum, they crawled towards my lips and jumped out. I was frozen in a combination of horror and disgust.

One by one, they crawled out of my mouth, until there were only eight molars and twenty-four bleeding holes in my gums. They levitated in the air, between me and the mirror, arranging themselves into a repulsive imitation of a complete denture. Then, my neck and jaw muscles cramped in place, then it was like all the energy stored within being drawn out. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, that black mist coming out of my mouth, was that the essence of my muscles? Oh my fucking god it’s just really pain, and then all of a sudden I lost all feeling and control in my neck and jaws. My head lolled back and my upper body followed.

I gingerly got up after that painful fall, and the lower half of my face was totally numb. My mouth hung open, and I was unable to close it. I had to lean the back of my head on my bed, and hold the sides, so it would stop lolling about. I stared at the…the abomination before me. The teeth - should I even call them teeth? - glowed less brightly, and I could see their little legs still waving about. To think those things were inside my gums. What did they do to my original, real teeth? Those imitation teeth were now held by the black mist that was pouring out of my mouth some moments ago, forming what seemed to be a skeletal pair of jaws, repeatedly opening and shutting.

Then it bit me. On my leg.

I yowled in pain, and clutched the wound. At that moment, my head was unsupported, so I fell down again, banging my head hard on the floor.

The abomination, sensing me in that vulnerable position, cackled. Then exited the room. I heard the front door open and close in the distance, and groaned. I stared at my pitiful self in the mirror, with one huge gaping bite on my leg, twenty-four holes in my gums, and paralysed from jaw to chest.

I need a doctor.

#nosleep #horror #teeth #dentist #dentistry #werewolf

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