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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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(WLW anon) I really don’t like the “bad rep is better then none at all”. I hate that. We should want good rep, because bad rep has been used time and time again by homophobes as to say we shouldn’t get representation. To me it’s not “gay can have the same flaws as het”, it’s “fix the flaws in the het”. Also I know Renora being independent was a good, I was just saying in comparison BB. Also, yes, they were separated, but also didn’t stop thinking about each other. Especially bad with Yang.

Indulge me for a moment because I want to take a trip down memory lane and list some—just some—of the queer rep that has been important to me over the years:

Ellen comes out both as herself and as her character… years later, she’s a hated millionaire who is criticized for how she treats her staff

The wildly influential Buffy gives us two women entering a loving relationship… except then Tara is killed off, Willow goes evil for a time, and Buffy comes under fire for Joss Whedon’s everything

The beloved and respectable headmaster of one of the most popular book series ever published is revealed to be gay… except it doesn’t count because it wasn’t in the text and now all of Harry Potter is cancelled because JKR is transphobic

Kurt is an unambiguously gay teen in a hugely popular TV series, acting as one of the first overt representations a generation has seen… except he’s way too stereotypical and Glee is a joke now

Orange is the New Black gives us a number of queer women, including one of our first trans characters… but isn’t it problematic that they’re all criminals?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine hosts an out gay captain and gives us a bisexual coming out story that resonated with many, myself included… except now we’re supposed to hate all the characters on principle because they’re cops

Korra and Asami walk off into the spiritual sunset together… but they never kiss or anything, so that doesn’t count either

Steven Universe gives us a queer relationship and a wedding… but it’s an issue that this is just a kid’s show and, really, does it count when the rep is embodied by space rocks whose entire species only creates a single gender? Feels like a cop-out

Same with Good Omens. Yeah, Crowley and Aziraphale clearly love each other… but you never see them kiss or declare their intentions. It’s great ace rep though! Unless you want to level the criticism that asexual characters are always nonhuman

A character intended to be a minor guest becomes a show staple and eventually declares his love for one of the two main characters… except then Castiel immediately dies, Dean doesn’t respond, and they never meet on screen again

I finished Queen’s Gambit the other day and the main character had a one-night stand with a woman! … but everyone is talking about how bisexuality is used to represent her lowest point, so that’s bad too

I could go on for literal pages. Some of these arguments I agree with (Dumbledore), others I’ve pushed back against quite strongly (Crowley and Aziraphale), but all of them are valid criticisms depending on what part of the queer community you’re in and what your expectations are. My point here is that it’s all “bad rep.” I mean that seriously. If anyone reading this is scrambling for the comment section to say why [insert media title here] is actually fantastic rep, I guarantee that someone disagrees. Or if they don’t, give it some time. Just wait until the characterization becomes offensively outdated, or another part of the story ruins the relationship, or it comes out that the author did something truly horrific, or the terminology changes and it’s labeled as “problematic” now… just wait. At some point, any rep we feel is good rep now will be criticized, cancelled, and dragged through the mud. The rep that I personally haven’t seen much push-back against—like the beloved Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who, or Schitts Creek that just won a ton of awards—is wrapped up in the criticism, “So it’s all just about able-bodied, cis, (mostly) white dudes, huh? :/” Even the argument that queer characters need to be written by queer authors doesn’t hold up. I absolutely adored Sense8. “Wow, a gay main character in a loving relationship with another gay man, both of whom enter a loving poly relationship with a woman, another lesbian trans main character who marries the love of her life on screen, an entire cast arguably queer due to them sharing orgy scenes centered around the emotional intimacy they share, everyone survives, and this was written by two trans women! Great, right?” Well, not according to the wealth of opinions explaining how Sense8 is horrible rep, actually. Every piece of rep we’ve got is either currently flawed or will become flawed in the future.

So what do we do with that?

That’s where my “I’d rather have bad rep than no rep at all” comes in. For me, that’s not waving the white flag. That’s not an oath that I won’t expect better rep in the future (I do) or that I won’t criticize the rep we get (BOY DO I), but rather just an acknowledgement of reality. The vast majority—if not the entirety—of rep is “bad rep” in one way or another, but I’d still rather have it than nothing at all. Because I’ve lived just long enough and studied media just enough to know what nothing looked like. It was watching all queer characters meet untimely deaths. Before that it was watching queer characters be derided and treated as jokes. Before that it was nothing but coding, where queer characters didn’t exist except in our own headcanons and interpretations. Obviously “bad rep” covers a very large range of issues and “They haven’t even confirmed this relationship yet” is a bigger issue than “This queer character embodies one or two, mild stereotypes,” but ultimately I’d take any of it over nothing at all. And enjoying what we’ve currently got doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle for it indefinitely.

To use an iffy analogy, imagine there’s a factory. This factory makes plates. So. Many. Plates. Big plates, small plates, plain plates, decorative plates, plates for every possible occasion in your life—and everyone with a steak for dinner is pleased as punch. You though? You’ve got soup. You need a bowl. Your entire life you’ve been struggling to eat your soup off a plate (it doesn’t work) and listening to friends and family claim that the plate with a slightly raised edge could be a bowl if you squint (it’s not). To say it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But then, one day, the factory starts producing bowls too. Hurray! Except as soon as you get your hands on one, you’re told you really shouldn’t be using it, let alone praising it. Look at the state of that bowl! It’s cracked right down the middle, ugly as hell, shoddily made all around… you’re not really going to settle for that, are you? And no, you obviously still want the factory to produce better bowls, but at the same time, this is a bowl. You’ve never gotten one before and you can finally enjoy your meal, even if the soup leaks at times. Sometimes a lot. But you’re still feeling better about your meal than you ever have before. And what you then begin to realize is that lots of the plates are a mess too. They also have cracks, they’re also ugly, many are also shoddily made. The difference is that the factory is producing so many plates at such a rapid pace that every steak eater is able to get by. One plate breaks completely? You’ve got a thousand fallbacks. Don’t like the look of this one? A thousand other options. You disagree about what “shoddily made” means? Luckily there are enough plates that everyone can find what they prefer! But the bowls… there’s only a few. Some are really expensive. Others are only available for a limited time before they suddenly disappear. Your bowl breaks and you have to wait months, years sometimes, to get another one. You’re constantly told to go buy this one obscure bowl no one else has heard about and yeah, you like it... but you’d also like to buy one of the bowls everyone is already enjoying. You find yourself looking at the plates and thinking, “I’d like that. I’d like to have so many options that the flaws, while still a problem, are much more bearable.” You’re still going to demand that the factory get its shit together, you’re still going to (rightly) complain about the awful quality of your bowl… but it’s still nice to have a bowl, period. There are still things you like about it, even if it’s a mess: the color, the size, the beauty of the shape of it. Its potential. You’re still pleased you have something to enjoy and that helps serve the need you’re looking to fill, even if that something is imperfect.

That’s “bad rep is better than no rep.” To bring this very long response back to Blake/Yang, I don’t think their problems negate their benefits. Is their relationship currently non-canonical and filled with a number of writing issues everyone has a right to be angry about? Yup. I express that anger a great deal. Are they still half of a team on a very popular show that is (presumably) set to be canonized as queer? Yup. I’d much rather live in a world where big shows like RWBY try to include queer rep and fail in a multitude of ways—with the expectation and hope that they’ll continue to improve—rather than in a world where authors a) don’t care or b) are too scared to try. Because that’s where a “good rep or no rep” stance leads. The danger isn’t homophobes because they’re, well, homophobes. It doesn’t matter if the rep is good or not, they hate it on principle. But if queer authors writing for other queer identities, or allies writing queer identities, or even queer authors writing their own experiences (like in Sense8) continually come under non-stop fire for their attempts… there’s a good chance that many people won’t ever try. We’re already seeing that here on tumblr with young authors admitting that they wouldn’t touch [insert topic here] with a ten-foot pole because just look at what happens when you get it wrong. And authors will get things wrong because authors are fallible people forever unlearning their own ignorance. So though it might sound strange coming from a blog that has turned into such a RWBY critical space, I am glad that RWBY’s queer rep exists, despite all the frustrations that I share about it. I think a RWBY with various types of “bad” queer rep is better than a RWBY with no queer rep at all, particularly when “bad” or “good” is so intensely subjective. There’s a middle ground between passively accepting whatever we’re given, and tearing into rep with such ferocity that we end up rejecting it all. There’s a space where we can be critical of rep and embrace the parts that work for us, simultaneously.

I hope and expect the het rep will get better too, but… that’s never going to happen instantly. To quote RWBY, there’s no magic wand we can wave to fix all our problems. Rather, it will take slow, plodding, meandering, lifetimes’ worth of work to see that change occur and I personally don’t want to spend the one life I have waiting for that perfect rep to show up. Because it’s unlikely that it will. While we work, I’d rather find the good in what rep we’ve already got.

#rwby #queer #mymetas #Anonymous

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dragonrajafanfiction · 3 years

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Tokyo Tower (Part 3) Spy Games

Fingel is an unexplored character in most of Dragon Raja Novels. His past is shrouded in mystery and is revealed little by little in hints and tidbits across the novels. So even though there are five novels out, I still can’t say I know that much about him.

The phone rang twice by the time you crossed the room to get it. It was an ornate metal phone standing on lion paws with a turn-style dialing wheel and an earpiece that looked like the brass handle of a castle door. Still when you pick it up you answer. “Pizza Hut. How can I help you?”

Caesar’s smooth voice carried a smile over the line. “Hello MC. I take it you’re all settled in?”

“There wasn’t much to settle. I could rattle around in this place.”

The premier suite of the Takamagahara was second in luxury only to Whale’s own full floor living quarters. This area was nearly one thousand square feet. Coming into the entrance, the floors were covered in mahogany reclaimed from an old dojo. The silk wallpaper shined bright from the walls all the way up to the ten foot vaulted ceiling that hung with a magnificent chandelier.

The sitting and dining rooms were furnished with antique World War II era wood furniture. A grand piano occupied a space near an arched window. The kitchen area was the smallest area as most people who could afford to stay here didn’t bother cooking for themselves. Half that area was just the expansive wine rack and liquor cabinet.

The bedroom floor was a rosy Berber carpet. The king-sized bed took up most of the space. Its tall ornamental posts were overlaid with a silken canopy of gold. The walk in closet was bigger than the entire area you’d stayed in until now.

The bathroom had marble tiled flooring, heated of course, a jacuzzi tub big enough for four people and an infinity shower with more buttons than you knew what to do with.

You roll your eyes around the room, sitting on the bed in your satin lavender night dress, your wet hair wrapped up in a towel. “It’s quite the upgrade.”

“You don’t sound that enthusiastic.”

“I’ll miss falling asleep to voices outside my door.”

Caesar paused at that, silent.

“A wise young man told me that… the world… as it pertains to you, is only composed of the people you know. Even though I have gotten the privilege of staying here, my world has gotten a lot smaller. You boys get on my nerves a lot. And we don’t always see eye to eye. But you are my entire world. Don’t forget it.”

“I bet you say that to all the guys.” Caesar replied.

“Yes! All the guys in my world.” You laugh at his throwing your words back at you. “Anyway… How did the meeting go?”

“Smoothly, much to my surprise. The main target is the King General. Ruri Kazama will be the assassin, Lu Mingfei will be running a sniper position. Fingel will be providing a listening point by laser sensor on the windows. Chu Zihang and I will both be guarding the perimeter in an underground garage from a nearby building to avoid infrared detection. Our job will mainly be to stop the King General from escaping. There are two places you can be. Either with Lu Mingfei as a second sniper, or with Chu Zihang and I on perimeter watch. Take your pick.”

You think seriously on this point. “Hmmm… where will Mingfei be stationed versus where you guys will be?”

“Mingfei will be on top of one of the surrounding buildings with his rifle. Having you up there might be a reassuring second shot should he need backup or suppressive fire. Snipers need teams but we’re low on manpower. Chu Zihang and I will be fine underground. There’s a cable duct we can crawl through. That said… being underground is right in your Soul Skill’s wheelhouse. Either way you choose will enhance the team.”

After a moment more thought, you say “I’ll go with Mingfei.”

“...Dammit.”

“You deserve it. Have fun on your date with Chu Zihang.” You stick your tongue out at him through the phone.

“Hey, he and I are on good terms now. It’s you I worry about. Don’t you think seeing the men who took everything from you not that long ago might shake you up?”

“You don’t go into a rage every time you see your father do you?” Caesar was silent and you waited for him to speak but he didn't. “Do you?” ask again with some surprise in your voice.

“Not...externally. I didn’t think of Herzog as your father.”

“A cold hearted person who kills without much thought doesn’t sound familiar? There’s a reason I am the way I am.” You slip under the heavy comforters on the bed while holding the phone to your ear.

“You’re not cold-hearted.” Caesar’s voice was more of a command than a statement.

“I can be.” You respond. “Hearing his voice again will be like going home.”

Caesar sighed with exasperation. “Let’s change the subject. Have you thought about my proposal yet?”

“I think... it’s crazy that you’re willing to lie to the Academy about my bloodline problem then install a know-nothing freshman to the rank of Leader of the Japanese Branch, but yes, I have thought about it.”

“Good, then your training starts now.”

You squint. “Training?”

“You need to know some basic things about Dragons, but you’ll catch up on that knowledge at your leisure. More importantly, you’ll need to understand how to navigate around the Yakuza here. Remember that Fingel is assigned to monitor the Japan Branch for the principal?”

“Yes.”

“You just happen to be the beloved of the Devil Clan commander. That makes you a valuable information asset. Fingel may seem to be a numbskull but he’s a master spy. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s wiretapped this phone and installed listening devices and pinhole cameras all over your room.” Caesar said this in a growl. “He was evasive when I asked about it so I can guarantee you he has. I don’t want him to be looking at any lewd pictures of you.”

“Are you serious? But I’m a fellow student?” You’re completely appalled.

“He does this on campus! He’s a dog with no morality! But he’s useful, that’s why I keep him in the Student Union. I know him well. If you’re going to be the leader of the Japan branch, learn to find bugs and hidden cameras. For every one you find, I’ll fine him five thousand dollars and give it to you. This phone is probably tapped so I know he’ll hear me say this.”

You flip back the covers. “Oh my gosh…” You start opening drawers and looking inside. “Thanks Caesar,” you sigh.

“No problem. Just looking out for you as always. Go to sleep in an hour regardless. It’s a big day tomorrow. Fingel, 5,000 for every one she finds.”

You start with the bathroom. Given his love for racy photos that would probably be a hotspot. In 10 minutes you managed to find three. Fingel needed to find good angles of the Jacuzzi and shower and there weren't that many places to hide and get good shots.

There’s a loud knock on the door. You grab your claw-dagger and creep forward, flipping off the lights. “Who is it?”

“R-r-room service.”

Fingel. The phone really was tapped. You straighten up in disapproval. “You’re too late, I already found three.”

“No! Wait, please. I… uh…”

“In the bathroom…” Your voice is low but it carried enough threat through the door.

“A just leader shows mercy?” came Fingel’s whimpering voice. “I don’t have 15k okay?”

“Wait a moment.” You cover yourself in a long robe and return and open the door. “Fingel, you’re dressed as a waiter. Taking cues from Ruri Kazama already? You probably infiltrated the room while I packed and talked with Caesar.” He was tall but cringed away from your icy stare.

“H-how could I not, right? I’m a quick study! But let's not talk in the hall, the first rule of being undercover is not breaking character!”

You let him in and shut the door. “In that case, I can understand why he gave you a stage name so quickly,” you say.

“The lady has a very clever boyfriend!” Fingel seemed pleased even though he had no say in the matter.

“I’ll give you the devices and say you found them. But only if you remove all the devices from the room. Understand? Remove all of them and show me where you hid them and how you did it.” Caesar wasn’t going to teach you about spy objects and hidden devices, the master spy, Fingel would!

“Of course! Of course! But I have to keep an eye on you right? Second rule is knowing where everyone is at all times!”

“You will not know when I got to the bathroom!” You hiss.

“I will know because that is now a blind spot.” He sighed mournfully but then ducked when you reached for your knife. “Okay, okay! You have to be quick on your feet. Assume you’re being watched at all times and observe everything! Caesar already warned you right? I’m on assignment from the principal to watch the Japan branch!”

“So this will be an ongoing lesson!” Your eyes widened.

“Precisely.” He winked.

“You’re wearing a wire.”

“What? No, I’m not!”

“Don’t worry I can’t see it but I assumed it after you said that. You are. Am I supposed to search you too?” You start walking towards him. “Five thousand dollars…”

Fingel for a moment, looking for an exit. He finally reached into the inner lining of his jacket. The listening device was just a small button-like object and a little copper wire pinned to his shirt. “Wow… it’s so small!” You marveled.

“You… probably wouldn’t have found it if you looked!” Fingel said with a rueful grimace. “But I can’t afford to take that chance.”

“How did you know this is the room I would be in?”

“Oh that was simple, prepping a room this size for occupancy requires a lot of staff. I just looked natural enough to be co-opted automatically in the work. If anyone asks questions, I just pretend I don’t speak any Japanese!”

Fingel walked the room. “None of the surveillance devices are in anything that can be moved easily.” He paused by a light switch, took out a tiny screwdriver and removed one of the screws. A listening device was right behind it! “People can move furniture or cover it. Any good spy will put a device in an area that’s more permanent. There are exceptions of course. It depends on the target. Usually, I will spend as much time as I can studying my target and her habits. I have to fit into her world.” His smile was surprisingly gentle. “Since you are a Cassell student, I didn’t need a lot of information to fit into your world. I just needed to show that I was with Caesar and Chu Zihang and you automatically assumed I was clear and never thought of me again. Right?”

You sigh, completely and utterly overcome. “You’re right. I immediately let my guard down and assumed I could trust you.”

“Caesar knows me better than that.” He pocketed the device.

Caesar called him a dog with no morality. Your pupils sharpen like a knife. No way he would remove all the devices. He was going to leave a few for you to find.

Fingel’s eyes meet yours. “You’re a quick study.”

“You’re going to decide how much this costs you.” You say coldly. “You have money. You can afford it. You’re conspirators! This is a game!”

“Woah! Woah! I do not have money!” He holds up his hands.

“So the devices you leave will be the hardest ones to find.”

“Bingo!” He winked. “I gotta keep an eye on you. No offense. But now you’re thinking like you should be. You need to test people, even Cassell personnel from the Academy. Remember that I came here as an intern. There is little trust between the Japanese Branch and the Main School, so I was tested thoroughly as to my credentials. They knew me better than I knew myself on arrival so my acting started long before I arrived.”

You nod. “That’s right. Our rooms were extremely tailored to our needs on arrival to Japan. They only knew I was from Northern Siberia, but they knew that because of the way I spoke.”

Fingel tilted his head. “Good. This isn’t going to be as difficult as I imagined. You understand now that this is a normal thing, to intensely spy on each other. I had to do whatever I needed to do, to prove to the Japanese students that I was one of them.”

“You do bad things?”

Fingel passed up the kitchen and went right to the bedroom. “I do my best not to. An easy way to get out of doing something really terrible is to pretend to be completely incompetent. So they’ll assign something like that to someone else.” He pulled the night stand from the wall and unplugged the phone wire from the jack. The wire seemed to be inserted normally into the wall but it wasn’t! There was another phone jack cover under the first one. The first phone jack cover had a small computer chip that was intercepting the phone information and diverting it to where he was. Fingel had successfully installed this listening device in plain sight.

You’re not sure you would have found it.

“You answered the phone as a Pizza Hut employee. Where did you learn that?” He tosses the device to you and you catch it.

“I liked to watch James Bond. He always had a special way of answering the phone so that only people who should be calling him are calling him. If it's an outsider who doesn’t really know me, then they will assume they dialed wrongly.”

“Yeah, that surprised me. But Caesar knew it was you so he wasn’t surprised. That’s a good technique. Keep doing that. But change it up a bit so it fits the area you’re in and it’s not so obvious.”

He straightened up. HIs demeanor had changed while talking to you into someone much more serious and quiet. “I’m all done. If you find the last device? I’ll give you the 5k myself.”

#dragon raja

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swedisheek · 3 years

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hello stinky i would like to know who is your favourite mechanism and why, i expect a 2k word essay on my desk by friday

ah fuck ah shit they’re all so excellent i will instead list my favorite things about all of them in order of my vague memory of when they joined the crew. also i smell good how dare you. also FYI for anyone not informed about the Lore, all the shit i’m gonna reference below is a hundred percent canonical.

-jonny: has an ego three thousand times larger than his short ass, king of hubris and not understanding anything. loves his sister dearly, but draws the line at random orgies, which i respect. drags corpses onto the ship like a cat bringing home a kill and tells carmilla to fix his new friends. eyeliner and belt game slay me. (four belts? FOUR??) sad and totally made up backstory, he just lied to everyone’s face about his daddy issues and they were like “chill, let’s write a song where you play all the parts and burn down a casino.” eats people sometimes, which is a positive trait in my heart.

-nastya: my god, finally a voice of reason- ah never mind. her vibes are impeccable, my mysterious trans lesbian queen is unique and absolutely vibing <3 “fuck the ship-!” “i do :3″ is my favorite line of dialogue in anything ever. machinefucker and very proud of it, to an almost concerning degree. that one picture where she’s resting two of her fingers on her chin and cocking her hip as she looks up at the sky makes me Yell.

-toy soldier: my beloved it/its inanimate enby ts!! i love it bc it just. vibes. it has so much fun singing and playing instruments and just fucking around with its friends. who would’ve thought the war criminal with a stolen voicebox would be the most babey of this group?? SPEAKING OF ITS VOICE HOLY SHIT. TRIAL BY SONG CAUSES HEART PALPITATIONS. adorable little nutcracker with the saddest fucking backstory infinity/10

-tim: so very very done with jonny but we all know they make out in “secret”. hit that fucking high note as loki so well, my god, he put his whole pussy into that! go gayboy relive that trauma! plays out of tune guitar like a champ and has a ten minute long song dedicated to him blowing shit up, what a power move. excellent hair and long sweeping coats, extremely gender of him.

-brian: ohhh sweet boy. but also totally commits atrocities? like he wouldn’t kill an octokitten that was eating marius alive but he’d let a million people die just so he didn’t have to hurt anyone, and that’s just on mje mode- his morals are so fucked, poor man. also hung upside down inside a sun for a century and respects the hell out of trans people and brings people back to life and those are just a few of my favorite things about him. he fully committed to the steampunk look when he got mechanized and i love that so much. also has the potential to be a tumblr sexyman.

-ashes: ASHES!! ashes ashes ashes. first off what a fucking good name that’s like a murderer naming themself Dead People. they’re the hottest, it’s just a fact, sorry everyone but they are just. mmm. carries around gold bars and cigars and gasoline and nothing else which i respect so much. (though where do they put that stuff? their hat??) sings excruciatingly beautifully and snarks at all the idiots they call their friends and practices the three r’s (rage, repression, and radicalness) so i cannot not love them.

-ivy: mystery wife! her whole thing is stories and yet she doesn’t know her own that’s so fucking pog of her. what does an archivist on a spaceship even do dawg it’s not like the other guys care about the cultures they’re annihilating, i’m pretty sure she just sits in her bunk and reads. why did she need her brain replaced? why does she have such crazy memory problems? how does her new brain calculate all these percentages? we don’t know! she’s very cute and wears fishnets and has a mohawk-ponytail which i adore. play me to sleep on ur flute please miss

-raphaella: twenty points right off the bat for having wings and wearing a knit crop top. what is she going for with her look, we don’t know, but she could do horrific experiments on me and i’d thank her, so it’s working, clearly. alternatively tortures and tops the shit out of marius, i will die on this hill. also a terrifyingly good singer, those little “the void siIings” in losing track make my breathing stop and the entirety of ties that bind is so fucking amazing i. hhhh

-marius: christ i love you mr neither a baron nor a doctor. the other guys are dumb but he’s the himbo of the group just for being That Way. also most of his characters’ (who are also himbos) lines are something along the lines of what the fuck or i don’t understand so i’m gonna punch you. he’s adorable and has such bastard vibes, even his outfit is ridiculous and cute. even though lyf was a cop he deserved to get a happy ending with them ok?? i just love him and his liddol raccoon face and he deserves a slow burn criminal/detective to crew mates to lovers.

OK JEEZ THATS A LOT. ARE YOU HAPPY ALEX. IM NOT GONNA DO AURORA OR CARMILLA BC CARMILLA LEFT AND AURORA NEVER TALKS TO ANYONE BUT NASTYA SO THERES NOT MUCH INFO ON HER PERSONALITY. WOO BOY.

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fanficksandimagines · 6 years

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“Guardian Angel.”- G.D.

Grayson Dolan x reader

Warnings: some bad language. That’s about it.

Word count: 6159

A/n I saw this writing prompt and kind off fell in love with the idea. I hope you guys enjoy this one, I really worked hard on it. It holds my love for mythical and supernatural beings and my interpretation oh Heaven and Hell.

Prompt from @writing-prompt-s : -Hell is getting kind of full, and honestly, you’re getting tired of managing it all by yourself. You hire an angel to convert some of Hell’s denizens into proper god-fearing entities so they can be moved to Heaven and become someone else’s problem.-

Every human knows at least the slightest bit about Hell and Heaven, at least in theory; what they don't know is, that it's real. But, let me tell you; Hell is not just a pit of fire burning up the souls of sinners and spitting out demons, with a huge throne in the middle where the devil himself sits and enjoys the chaos; and Heaven isn't a shiny, clean sea of clouds where angels guide around souls whilst they wait to meet God himself. It's all a bit more complicated, you know? Just like the human world, there's rules you have to follow and jobs you have to do. Well, not you, you're already dead, if you're in one of both places. Demons and Angels also have responsibilities and jobs. Trust me, it's disappointing that, we Demons, don't just go around haunting your houses and possessing humans. Of course there are Demons doing just that, but that's because the gates of hell have been locked to them. It's a life sentence set for something they've done without the kings approval. Oh, and did I mention that the devil has no word here? Yeah, Lucy is kind off locked up, and the throne of Hell is taken by a self-proclaimed king, whose name shall not be spoken. I, as a Demon, won't tell you too much about Heaven, but God isn't there. I think that's worth knowing. He shows up there twice a year, just like your beloved Santa or The father of Christmas 'checks you twice a year'. He shows up, gives the Angels a speech, collect your unanswered prayers and then disappears for another half a year. That's all I'm going to tell you, thought. I'll be as honest as a Demon could be, this place is boring for a 17 year old like me. Since, Demons take their immortal form after they turn 18, I've never been outside Hell. I guess it's worth mentioning that time here is way slower than in the world humans live in, besides we don't sleep. I've been 17 for the past 4 human years and I'll turn 18 in 2 more. For my age and confusing/ complicated past, the king trust me with a pretty important job. I'm the Hells Soul keeper. I can't decide whether it's like babysitting a bunch of toddlers, or being a storekeeper in a magical castle where everything in store floats around on its own creating a chaos. Except storage wouldn't be crying or shouting 'Where the Hell am I?' every three seconds. My job as a Soul keeper isn't boring, sometimes the unfortunate souls just need someone to talk to; and again, as honest as a Demon could be, I explain to them, that they have died and now are in Hell. Doesn't work out, as you would expect, but hey, their reactions can be pretty priceless. We used to be two Soul keepers. Mars was older so he would do the collecting part in the human world. He was the only Demon I dared to call a friend. It was like having an older brother with who you actually had a good relationship. It didn't last long, though. There was an incident and he showed up at the wrong place and wrong time, and ended up dead. Even immortal beings can be killed, you just need the right weapons. You see, a Soul keeper gathers the souls in the human world, then brings them down to the 'waiting room', which is a huge hall with the capacity of 600 thousand souls. Then all of the souls have to be divided in smaller sections and guided in specific halls depending on their sins. Soul keeper watches over those as well, until Demons that watch over the specific sins collect them and guide them further through the ten layers of Hell. Soul keeper is the most important Demon in Hell, otherwise some souls would pay for crimes they never did, and believe me, you wouldn't want to be tortured by the highest standards just because you licked some frosting off of that birthday cake in your grannies fridge, even though your mom told you not to. Also, how else would lost souls find their way to hell? Someone needs to collect them. Something wasn't going as it should in the Hells system. The souls that were already sectioned, weren't being collected and the waiting room was filled with more souls than it should. I had to collect souls above the ground today, and looking at the stack of papers filled with names of dead sinners, there was a good hundred thousand of them. I was so tired of having to babysit over a 800 thousand souls every day, might need to remind you that I don't sleep, and neither do they. There's someone crying all of the time, there's someone screaming all of the time, because of those two groups- there's everyone else complaining, and taking in all of this can get kind of heavy on my shoulders. Since no one in the lower layers of Hell wasn't showing up or answering, I sent a letter to Heaven asking to send someone to help. I didn't get an answer, so I'm kind off hopeless at this point. I snapped my fingers teleporting myself into the break room. I changed out of my all black working uniform, putting some casual clothes on. I grabbed a cd and went to the control panel playing 'Harry Potter' on the TVs in the waiting rooms and sections to distract the souls whilst I'm away. After the movie started playing, I walked over to the weapon section and took a small knife with which I cut a line in my left palm. As the black blood like liquid showed through the cut, I drew a symbol that opened the Hells gate for me. Grabbing my tablet that had all of the collectable souls listed, I left through the gate, the portal closing behind me. "Alright, let's do this!" I said to myself as I showed up in a dark alley located in Kansas. Collecting souls was pretty easy. I teleported from place to place showing up near the graveyards or spots where someone was killed and found the wandering orbs flying around searching for its human vessel. I guess I could compare collecting the souls to humans catching lightning bugs in jars. Except, I don't catch them in a jar, I catch them in a crystal. After I had collected about the third part of all the sinner spirits on my list, I decided to enjoy a bit of human life. Walking in a small café in Paris, I took a seat next to a window that had a clear view on the Eiffel tower. A waiter came around asking for my order, even if I can't taste anything besides atoms, I still ordered a muffin and a cup of coffee. Whilst I was enjoying the view and waiting for my order a young boy walked inside the café only to be soon followed by someone who looked a lot like him. It was clear as day that they were twins, the only thing off was that they weren't talking to each other. The boy with slightly longer hair took out his phone and started scrolling away, whilst the other one just sat besides him, clearly bored out of his mind. The waiter came around with my order. I thanked her and payed right away with some money that I 'borrowed' from a rich business man, who, I know for sure, will be sent to Hell after his death. I'd say I enjoyed my meal, but the only thing I tasted was atoms. I had to get back to work, so I stood up to leave when the black Soul crystal fell out of my pocket. "Crap!" I whispered to myself reaching down for it. Apparently it caught the attention of the few people that were at the café, since they all looked my way. I took the crystal in my hand and showed my hands in my pockets, quickly walking out of the place. The next soul I had to collect wasn't too far away, so I figured I'd walk there. Walking down the street I felt like someone was following me, and I wasn't wrong. One of the twins was running after me, so I turned the next corner in a small empty street, making myself invisible to the human eye by snapping my fingers. He walked in the street his eyes set on me. "How is this possible?" I tough to myself. "You're Y/N, right? The Soul keeper of Hell?" he questioned still standing there. I guess he figured out, that I had no clue of who he was and why he could still see me, so he showed his wings. It was the most beautiful set of Angel wings I had ever seen. They were clear and white with a hint of blue in the glow, meaning that he was supposed to be a human, but something went wrong. "Yes, I am the Soul keeper." I finally answered his question. "You asked for help." he reminded me of my letter. "Uh, yeah. I wanted to hire an Angel to purify some souls." "I'll be honest, this is the first time I'm out of Heaven, but I was assigned to help you, so here I am." "What about your brother?" "He's a human." "Oh, I'm so sorry." "You're a Demon, you don't feel anything… but It's alright." He was right, Demons don't feel sorry; at least most of them. "Alright. Have you ever collected souls?" "No, I've collected prayers." "Well, then you're in for a treat before we go downstairs. What's your name?" I asked as we made our way to the next soul. "My parents were going to name me Grayson, so I guess that's it." "Well, nice to meet you, Grayson. I'd tell you my name, but you already know it. So, the next soul we have to collect is Frank Hudgens, a twenty year old man who is being rejected by Heaven, because he robbed his aunt and stabbed a policeman." I informed Grayson. Grayson was quiet, for the biggest part of the whole collecting experience, by the end he seemed to ease off and started to talk to me. He told me the slightest bits he knew about his own life, and soon after we were finished with our job. "Well that was the last one." I said after my crystal sucked in the last orb of soul. "We're going to Hell now?" "Absolutely." I took his hand in mine and snapped my fingers, teleporting us back to the gate in Kansas. I opened up the gate and lead us inside, never letting his hand go. After we finally showed up in Hell, I showed him into the break room. I put my stuff down on a table, and quickly checked the cameras to make sure the movie was only now ending. I turned the next part of the franchise on, so I could finish up all of my works before I had to turn all of my attention back to the whining souls. "Alright, here comes the uncomfortable part." I announced to Grayson walking over to cabinet to take a empty grace jar. "And that would be?" he questioned before sitting down on the couch. "I'll need to take your grace." I took a silver feather that had fallen out of Lucifers' wings and turned back to him. His eyes grew bigger in shock "My what?" "Your Angel grace. Don't worry, not all of it. There will be enough left for you to remain as an Angel." I walked up to him and motioned with the sharp feather to stand up. "Will it hurt?" Grayson stood up, making me slightly stumble back as he was taller than me. "No, it'll just be the worst pain of your never ending life." I quickly mumbled holding eye contact with him, before I cut a line over where his heart should've been. He screamed in pain whilst I held the opened jar next to the cut and let his grace fall inside of it. Once half of his grace was in the jar, I put the lid on and touched the cut with my hand healing it instantly. "Why was that necessary?" "Did they tell you anything about what you will have to go trough?" "No?" "Wow, Angels really are dicks, aren't they?" "That's offensive, kind off." "You'll thank me later." "For cutting my chest open and taking my Angel grace?" "Well, maybe not." "I thought you were going to rip my heart out." "Hate to break it to you, but you don't have one. Now stop talking and rest a little. You're half human now." "I'm what now?" "Half human. And what did I say about talking?" "I'm half human?" "Can you shut up?" I asked now standing by the counter and placing the jar in the storage. Grayson actually shut up and I turned to my next job, which is releasing the souls from the crystal into the waiting room. "Whatever you do, stay in this room." I instructed Grayson just to turn around and see him sleeping. I went to release the souls in the waiting room, then went back to the break room and filled in all the papers before sending them to Marcus, managing to slip in a note asking about the belated collecting. When I was done with all of my jobs, I went to all of the souls giving somewhat of a guidance to the 'newcomers'. I just went with my usual agenda, until Grayson woke up. Making my way back to the waiting room I ran into Marcus, who apparently was searching for me. We walked to the door of the break room together before he started talking. "I got your note." he stated, resting against the wall opposed from the door. "Great, and?" Am I really about to get some answers? "Hell is over populated, that's why it's taking so long. The king is trying to search through the imprisoned souls to turn them into demons." "Don't they need vessels for the souls, to turn them into demons?" "That's why it's taking so long. By the way, Kings assistant asked to tell you that you should hire some help from 'up there', maybe they'll agree to make some exceptions and agree on taking some sinners up there. At least until we have some free space." "Already did it. They sent an angel to purify at least some souls." "You have an angel down here?" "Yes?" "I've never seen a pure angel. Did she show you her wings? Were they golden?" "It's a he, and the wings are white with a blue glow." I whispered with a hint of annoyance. "But that means-" Did I mention that Marcus is a bit of a nerd? "He's not a pure angel. I know." "Then how is he gonna be able to purify any souls?" "With his grace." "You need to drain it from him." "I already did that." "You didn't turn him into a human, did you?" "I took only half of it." "You do know that a guardian angels grace is less powerful than a pure ones, right?" "We'll have to do with what we got." I shrugged knowing well enough that he was right. "There are some stuff that could make it more powerful, even if it's just a little bit, but I need to see the grace before I get the ingredients." Marcus suggested, pushing away from the wall. "I didn't know you have purified souls before." My arms were now crossed on my chest. "I'm older than you think and I've done more than you know." I sighed unfolding my arms and opening the door to the break room; revealing a pretty tired looking Grayson standing next to the screens where all the crying souls were shown. "Do they ever shut up?" He questioned me annoyed, as I walked into the room, Marcus following behind me. "No, but if you press that blue button on under the screens, the sound will turn off." He pressed the button, muting the sound. "Man, those are crying souls. What kind of an angel are you?" Marcus was obviously surprised by the lack of manners. "A regular one?" Grayson questioned his own answer. By just that one question, he made it clear that he doesn't know that he's a guardian angel. Marcus also catched the unsure answer, before looking at Grayson with his eyes slightly squinted in confusion. "What's your job 'upstairs'?" "Up until now, I had to collect all the prayers from the listeners and delivered them to the next office." Grayson answered sitting down on the couch again. "So, you're like the postman of prayers?" "I guess. Why are you so interested in that?" "He's going to help us with some stuff we need for purifying the souls, Marcus just wanted to know have you ever done anything like this before, that's why he asked." I spoke before Marcus could say a thing. Something in my head was telling me that Grayson was clueless for a reason. "No I was-" "Being a curious demon? That's nothing new." I cut him off. I guess he finally understood me, he changed the topic. "Yeah, anyways. Show me the grace?" He gestured for me to move. I took the jar with Graysons grace and gave it to him. He put the jar close to his face inspecting it and seemingly thinking about something, before he took a look at Grayson, then at me and then back at the glowing light. "Alright. I'll go get the needed stuff and we'll make the serum." "How long are you gonna take?" "Depends if Cassandra is gonna show up. She might not be happy that you brought an angel to hell without telling her." "She did say that I should hire some help." Marcus nodded my way before leaving the room. I turned my attention to Grayson. "Your family is from America, right? Why was your brother in Paris?" "They're on a vacation." "Oh. How about we go and collect some souls that have a potential to go to heaven and section them into a separate room, to pass the time?" I suggested. "Can I get something to eat before we do that? I'm pretty hungry." "Oh, right. You're half human again." After we found something for Grayson to eat, we went through a list of all of the souls that were under my responsibility at the moment, picking out the ones with the smallest sins. We then transferred them into a separate room where we would purify them, once Marcus was done making the serum. Marcus took way longer than expected. By way longer I mean a month. It was a long enough time for Grayson to become used to my working agenda. He helped out every single day, in return I brought him food from the human world. We became something that humans would refer to as best friends, and I will remind you- the only person I ever called a friend was Mars. The fact that he was half human, doesn't mean that Grayson was just hungry and tired from time to time. He also started feeling things. Things he never felt before. As an angel or a demon, you're not completely immune to feelings. We feel the basic emotions that humans have- sadness and happiness, just in an easier form, since our anatomical system barley holds any nerves. But during the time Grayson had to spend with his grace partly missing, in Hell, made his body grow a nervous system in a fast speed. The feelings he felt were ones that I've heard of a lot about, like sadness and misery. But he told me about this weird feeling, he couldn't explain, that stood out for me. I had heard about it from some souls, but wasn't sure how real it was. "It's like, I want to smile all of the time, when I'm around you and my stomach starts turning when you smile. It's the weirdest thing ever." "Maybe you're just so disgusted of me that you want to puke." I chuckled. "But I'm not. It's like the feeling is unpleasant, but good at the same time. God, it's so confusing." He shook his head before taking a bite from the sandwich I got him for lunch as we sat on the couch. "Yeah, we don't mention that guy down here." "Sorry, I just don't understand so much and it's making me sick at this point. Life without feelings was easier." "Don't worry, once we get to purify those souls, you'll be able to go back to Heaven and your grace will be given back to you." "Is it weird that I don't want to go back?" I was used to his questions by now, but this one kind of took me off guard. "Why don't you?" "Up there I'm nothing more than someone who delivers prayers from one office to another. Everyone there is so obsessed with their jobs and themselves, that they don't even talk to one and other. No one explains to you what you have to do or why things are the way they are. I feel like I don't fit there." "And how exactly is Hell better?" "You talk to me. You answer my questions even if they are stupid." I bit my lip as I listened to him speaking, "It's like you care. Like you're a human too, at least partly." "Yeah, I'm not. I've just picked up human like habits." "You know I was talking to some of the souls we selected for purifying. There was this soul of an old lady. I explained that strange feeling. The one I feel only around you. She said that it sounds exactly like love. I didn't get to ask what 'love' is, but I think it's a good feeling." I shook my head letting a laugh past my lips, "You need a heart to feel 'love' and you don't have one, Gray. It's probably something else." The room went quiet for a second before Marcus stormed in. "Guys it's ready, but we kind off have a small problem," he seemed out of breath, "There's not enough grace." "How is that possible?" I asked knowing that I took enough. "It's not strong enough to work. Otherwise it's all good." "Well then, Y/N, take some more." Grayson shrugged like it was nothing. "If I'll take more you'll die." My voice grew unexpectedly loud, making me shout that at Grayson. "I know we’re in Hell and it tends to get hot in here, but could you not shout and chill out." Marcus said. "I'm not taking any more of your grace." I stated, my voice lower than previously. Grayson looked at me for a second and then at Marcus, "You won't, but he will." I looked from Grayson to Marcus who stood there unaffected. "I can do it." Marcus gave Gray a look, agreeing. "What? No! Marcus, can you leave us alone for a minute?" I pushed him out the door. "Why not? So what I'll die. You might be holding it a secret from me, but Hell is going to break loose if we don't clear it out. And then shit is gonna go down. No one wants that." "How the fuck do you know about that?" "I heard you and Cassandra talking the other day. If something will go wrong, they'll put it on your shoulders and the king will cage you up with Lucifer." "Don't you understand it? If we take any more of your grace, you will die. If you'll die then I'll have problems with Heaven because I hired you. I was the one who signed underneath that deal! If I'll fail Hell, I'll get tortured and I can deal with that. I can't fail Heaven, I can't fail God! Not again." "Again?" "Your minute is over!" Marcus stormed in. "Get out for another one!" Grayson yelled. It was a side of him I hadn't seen yet. Marcus looked taken back, but still left closing the door behind him. "What are you hiding?" Grayson asked. I was quiet. I couldn't believe that after all this time I so easily slipped up. And because of what? A weird painful pinch in my chest that holds me back from killing Grayson? Pathetic. "Y/N, what did you mean by that? What are you hiding?" "Nothing, I just- just chose the wrong words. We- uhm- we should go to Marcus and figure out what we can do about this." I was weirdly lost in the situation. "Marcus can wait." "For another minute? Seriously guys? Maybe I should give you another month, I'm starting to get annoyed by this." Marcus peeked through the door. "No, let's go to the hall and figure out what we can do with the purifying." My voice was unusually shaky as I walked past Grayson, pushing the door more open to slip by Marcus and make my way to the next room. Marcus and Grayson soon followed. "So what are we going to do about the serum?" Marcus asked once we all walked into the hall. "How can we make it stronger, without taking the rest of Graysons grace?" I asked. "Y/N, I tried everything. That's why it took so long. There is no other way." "That can't be possible." "It is. Maybe next time you hire an angel to help, look for it to be a pure one, not a guardian." "Guardian?" Grayson suddenly questioned. "Why did you-" "Why didn't you tell him? The guy's been living in Hell for the past month and you don't even care to tell him that he's not fully an angel. For fucks sake, Y/N!" "Marcus, just take my grace and let's get this over with." "No!" I shouted again, rage was pumping through my body. Or was it fear mixed with pain? "What's the point? I don't fit in Heaven, turns out I'm not even a real angel. Just let me do at least one useful thing in my life and save you from being tortured!" Before I could say a thing Marcus pushed Grayson to the wall and cut open his chest over the heart area, making every last bit of grace out of his body. Grayson grew weak in matter of seconds as all of his energy was put out in painful screams. There was something off about the whole situation. It made me feel pain. Pain that only grew. Marcus collected all of Graysons grace and poured in the mixture he had been preparing for the past month. Grayson sat on the floor, weak and almost lifeless. The worst part about an angel being drained from its grace was the slow and painful death. I stood frozen, for some reason not being able to move. "Alright, now, Y/N, take this," Marcus gave me the serum "I'll help Grayson to get to the purgatory." He went over to Grayson picking his limp body from the ground. Grayson hissed in pain. We teleported to the purgatory, where all the souls, that were going to go to Heaven, were. Marcus sat Grayson on the ground on the side of the room. "Alright, Grayson, you'll need to spread your wings, okay. Gather all of your strength and do it. We'll do the rest of it. It was nice knowing ya, buddy." Marcus instructed him, "Let's go, Y/N. We need to get the serum into the system, and set the room on fire." I didn't move. My eyes were set on Grayson who was trying to pull together all of his last strength just to spread his wings. He was in obvious pain. Tears rolling down his cheeks. "Y/N! We have to go. We need to start the purifying before he dies!" Marcus came closer to me snatching the serum out of my hands. "We have to go!" he shouted, "We still have to start the system and set this room on fire, stop acting human and move!" "I'll set the fire." I whispered not moving. "Then move! Otherwise he'll die and this will all be just wasted time!" Marcus shouted at me before walking to the door. "Lock the door behind you." My request was simple. "What now? Seriously, Y/N. Stop acting like a goddamn human!" "Lock the fucking door." "You'll die-" "Lock the fucking door!" I shouted at him, requesting one more time. Marcus mumbled something underneath his breath, before walking out and locking the door. "What are you doing?" Grayson questioned, his voice barely audible. "You're too weak to spread your wings. It won't work without the presence of angel wings." "I would've died either way, right?" "No. If you'd have enough grace in your vessel, you'd be able to take it. You'd survive." I kneeled down next to his body. "But how you staying here will help? We'll both die now." there was blood spilling past his lips as he spoke, coughing in-between his words. I wiped the tears from his cheeks and blood off of his chin. "You'll survive." I felt my own tears rolling over my cheeks as his weak gaze was staring into my eyes. I reached to the back of my neck untying a necklace that I always had but never took off. In it was tied up a small, snuggly bottle. It was so dirty that you couldn't see through it. "You see, Gray. Even the biggest monsters have at least the slightest bit of humanity in them. And not everyone in hell is a demon.” I said whilst rubbing the little bottle with my fingers. Soon enough the secret, I had hidden my whole life in hell, started to glow in all of it's bright blue glory. "What is that?" he questioned but I didn't answer. I opened up the bottle and poured its content onto Graysons cut, afterward touching the cut to heal it. Judging by the amount of time that had passed, the system was going to start running any moment. I stood up, ready to set the fire. There was a slight creaking noise and the sprinklers on the ceiling went off. "That was my angel grace." I explained to Grayson before spreading my own blue angel wings.

They weren't as beautiful as his. My wings were missing feathers and had blood splashed all over them. One wing was cricked. "You weren't supposed to be an angel, Grayson. That's why you didn't fit in Heaven." I snapped my fingers and fire instantly spread throughout the room exploding, burning up all of the sins of the souls. ~~~ "Hey, Grayson! Wake up, dude!" Ethan said shaking his twin brothers shivering body awake. Grayson sat up in his bed, cold sweat running over his hot body. Ethan sat down on the bed besides his brother. "You alright?" "Just a nightmare." Grayson breathed out. "Just a nightmare or-" "I keep seeing the same thing. Like every time… and it always goes the same. I die, the doctors don't save me on time, I go to heaven, then I meet her, then go to hell-" "The same dream over and over again." Ethan nodded, upset at the tough that his own twin brother almost didn't make it. At the thought that Graysons heart stopped for almost a whole minute. "But always a day before our birthday… just then." Grayson stood up from the bed, "It always feels so real too, you know? Like, I always feel the pain. The fucking feather cutting open my chest and the fire burning me up. It used to be just the pain, but now since last year I feel way more than that. I feel her taking my hand when she brings me to hell. I feel her hand on the right side of my chest when she's collecting the grace. I feel her hand on my cheek when she wipes my tears away and the blood on my chin. And her touch whilst she heals up the cut. I feel every single little thing. It's like she's real. Like, I'll just meet her one day." Grayson didn't care that he sounded crazy and that his brother probably didn't even believe him. He cared about the fact that Y/N saved him and he couldn't even say 'thank you' to her. ~~~ Grayson and his family were celebrating his and Ethans 18th birthday when Grayson suddenly felt dizzy. He excused himself from the dinner table and said that he'll go for a short walk outside to get some air. Grayson walked around the backyard, crossing the small frozen river and walking into the forest he knew all too well. The twilight sky making it harder to see, he decided to just stay on spot. He sat down on the snowy ground by his thinking tree and looked up, seeing some stars between the naked branches of the trees. "It's a bit cold to sit on the ground, Grayson." A female voice said, it sounded familiar yet unknown. He looked around, his heart slightly racing. The owner of the voice came closer, but Grayson couldn't recognize the person until she sat on the ground right in front of him. "Hey! It's been a while." She greeted a small smile plastered on her lips. Grayson went slightly pale, recognizing the girl in front of him. "Y/n?" "Yes?" "You, you're-" "I'm real." "Wha- How?" "You remember everything, don't you?" "I keep seeing nightmares." "It's your memory, not nightmares. See, when you were in hell, throughout that time when you became more and more human, a heart developed in your body.

When I gave you my grace it went straight to your heart; which then caused a ripple in time. It went to the moment you died, and it saved you.

My grace is the reason you see the nightmares, it carries it all as a memory set in your heart."

Y/N explained answering all the questions Grayson was dying to ask… except for one. "So you're an angel now?" that wasn't the question. "I always was." "Then how did you end up in hell?" neither is this one. "I was your guardian angel. I failed my job to save you, so God sent me down to hell. In order for us to never meet." "But we met after all… and you still saved me. Are you still living in hell?" "Grayson, that's not the question you want to ask. But I do live in hell, only in the one up there, it's practically the same." Y/N knew there was something else aching to be asked. "Is it possible- Is it possible that I fell in love with you?" His heart sped up again, the pulsing noise so loud, he thought the whole world could hear it. "You're the only one who can answer that, Grayson. I don't even know if I, myself, have a heart." "You definitely stole my heart." "I don't steal hearts, I collect souls." "Well then you accidentally have taken my heart." "If I would've, it wouldn't be beating in your chest right now." "No. You own my heart, you're the reason it keeps beating, and you will always be the reason." "Happy birthday, Grayson." Y/n stood up, spreading her wings that had been cleaned and healed. They looked exactly like Graysons set of wings when he was an angel. Grayson stood up, understanding that Y/n was about to leave. "Oh, a little message from Heaven; you're still Ethans guardian angel. Look after him!" "That's it? You're just going to leave?" "Grayson, this is the last time you’re going to see me. Hopefully the last." "What? Why?" "I'm here to take my grace back. You're 18 now." "But how will I remember that you saved me then?" Y/n stepped closer to Grayson taking his face in her hands. She placed her lips on his kissing him softly and taking the memory of her, hell and heaven away from his mind. The moment they lips parted she was gone and Grayson, all alone, standing in the forest forgot what he was doing there. The only memory left was just the pure fact of him having weird crazy dreams in the past, but in his heart Grayson still knew that there was an angel always looking after him.

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ask-lightning-n-dusk-blog · 6 years

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Am I the Only One to Notice?

This is inference I suppose.

How many of you have to blush when you admit you like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwK_WOXjfc0

(If it’s because you’re a feminist with a broom handle up her four point of contact, declaring it sexist because-

I’m not talking to you and you won’t like this article.

If you’re a man or woman ashamed to like it because just feels like you... it’s hard to explain, you just feel like you shouldn’t... read on

I’ve been noticing what seems like a trend over the years when it comes to gender differences in entertainment- they’re getting bigger. The more we hear feminists brag about killing “toxic masculinity” the more men and “tom boys” seem to want to eliminate more feminine or even neutral titles from their film libraries. In the military guys and even girls were mocked for liking, of all films, Sound of Music- ya know, only the third most popular film of all time, just two down from Gone with the Wind, and no guy these days would admit to THAT being in his top ten.

I’ve done a little research and yes, I’m aware of the phenomenon of gender differences actually amplifying in egalitarian societies. However one thing I would put forward. What if there is a reason for this outside of nature and economics? Particularly with the “toxic masculine”, is there a reason more men and boys love to talk about the brainless crap put out by Michael Bay, but are scared to talk about Pride and Prejudice?

I mean, yeah, I’ve noticed a number of romance stories tend to view male characters in a very demeaning way, Edward and Jacob are card board cut outs made overtly to please women and their feelings and futures are portrayed as not even mattering. I can see men having a problem with Twilight, but Citizen Cain? That’s not even a romance but many guys are afraid to talk about it because it’s not, I guess, “manly enough”. It’s even ironic to talk to these “manly men” about films like Sound of Music and notice how they can practically quote the film verbatim and yet they “don’t like it”.

(Skip this paragraph if you frankly don’t care about the feminist explanation.) The feminist explanation for this is an international subconscious male conspiracy that can never be proven real or not by science because its definition is too nebulous. (Am I wrong? Am I really? How is it you know exactly what I’m talking about Fems?) The same subconscious male conspiracy referenced in the Duluth Model, which is used to assume default male responsibility in cases of domestic abuse which has seen men put away for trying to report abusive women. It also probably has something to do with rape, one of the most basic, terrifying and violent crimes known to human kind, being declared a women’s issue, despite little to no evidence that men are less likely to experience it. (I guess you feminists can take solace on that one, after all, when you refuse to protest the FBI not referencing “made to penetrate” in it’s definition of rape, you are indeed not supporting thousands upon thousands of women whose rapes would fall into that category, so hey, “equality” there.) So yeah, fuck off with your dumb conspiracy theory.

Well here’s my own subconscious analysis. When you tell someone their interests, like action heroes and brutal fast paced animes are “toxic” particularly because of born traits that they can’t change, they become defensive of those interests. When someone has to defend their interest or feels their interest is being delegitimized, they focus undo attention on it. They then try to justify how their interest is good, often turning a product that is decent or even sub par, into a magnum opus in their own head, an opus so amazing, nothing that doesn’t replicate it is worthy of your time.

Want an example of this in a different place? Look at the brony fandom. Yep, I’m honestly examining something I’m part of. My Little Pony is- okay. That’s it, it’s- okay. Even as kids shows go its-okay. But for some bronies, they have made MLP their gold standard, even guys who used to have much more diverse interests. There are MANY MANY bronies like this. In fact MANY male fan bases for feminine shows end up calling their show some kind of gold standard, like the small niche of male Winx fans or male fans of Lady Bug.

If you have to defend your love of something, that love intensifies, and as that love intensifies, other interests start to pale. They pale to the point where you honestly start to feel shame that you like things that are TOO different from the interest your defensive of.

Basically, yes fems, by constantly calling legitimate interests, like super heroes and action movies “toxic” YOU are the ones causing growing divides. Men who have these interests are now feeling the need to defend them

“Boo hoo, male tears!” Yeah yeah, never said this was serious, but seriously, tell me again about the pink bottle being more expensive than the blue bottle and why you can’t just buy the blue one

So, to men and women alike who love super heroes and action movies and have trouble admitting that you also like things like Gone With the Wind, my solution is to say “it’s fine”. If you like the dumb explosion fests that are the Michael Bay Transformers franchise, that’s fine. You don’t have to defend it. Lots of money, time, creativity (at one point), ingenuity, expertise and know how went into those films. I could sooner reproduce a scene from the latest AMC version of Pride and Prejudice than a Transformers squeal. I hate them personally, but there is probably a lot to love. Your interest is FINE. It’s NOT toxic. I hear you, the explosions look amazing and the special effects were and sometimes are ahead of their time. I get the same chills you do hearing Optomis’ voice done so well. I get that you love seeing a beloved franchise you thought dead, reborn on the big screen, there’s nothing wrong with liking that. For those of your waiting for the “but” there isn’t one. Like whatever you like, it’s fine. Your personality doesn’t require my approval.

Okay so I guess there is a “but”. Can you give movies like Sound of Music and Gone with the Wind another chance? To the girls, its fine to like girl and guy things, it’s even fine if you recognize them as “girl” and “guy” things and like seeing them that way (how many people had to pause after reading that line?). If you’re a girl who loves Transformers and really does want to be seen as different for liking it, though different in a positive way, especially because you put hours of effort into that Bumble Bee cosplay, and your tired of people telling you your beloved movie is the worst thing ever- it’s not the worst thing ever- and seriously, that costume is AWESOME! To guys, I’m on your side. The explosions were pretty cool. And ya know what, if you like those explosions, it doesn’t mean you want to beat your wife or anything else that might be implied by the term “toxic”. Now that I said all that, can you give classic and varied cinema a chance again? C’mon, I doubt the highest rated stories of all time got that way by being gender specific or nechie. You might still not like them, but c’mon... this is just so beautiful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fH2FOn1V5g

And for those of you who think its just for girls, this too is amazing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMuTDdWXbNo

He’s probably one of the best male protags I’ve seen in film to date. And yes, someone is trying to make him change and evolve- difference? He’s not the only one who has to, his discipline is shown to be good in it’s proper place, and we’re made to care about him as a person. The Captain is never portrayed as just a brute. The Captain is broken and his masculinity is corrupted. When he’s shown how to open up again, he then uses his discipline and true manliness, to protect his family from the REAL Nazi empire. Don’t think he’s manly? The dude stares down a gun from a real life Nazi and doesn’t even blink.

#hills are alive #toxic masculinity #isn't real #its fine to like things #should be common sense

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newstfionline · 6 years

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Japan’s Rent-a-Family Industry

By Elif Batuman, The New Yorker, April 30, 2018 Issue

Two years ago, Kazushige Nishida, a Tokyo salaryman in his sixties, started renting a part-time wife and daughter. His real wife had recently died. Six months before that, their daughter, who was twenty-two, had left home after an argument and never returned.

“I thought I was a strong person,” Nishida told me, when we met one night in February, at a restaurant near a train station in the suburbs. “But when you end up alone you feel very lonely.” Tall and slightly stooped, Nishida was wearing a suit and a gray tie. He had a deep voice and a gentle, self-deprecating demeanor.

Of course, he said, he still went to work every day, in the sales division of a manufacturing company, and he had friends with whom he could go out for drinks or play golf. But at night he was completely alone. He thought he would feel better over time. Instead, he felt worse. He tried going to hostess clubs. Talking to the ladies was fun, but at the end of the night you were alone again, feeling stupid for having spent so much money.

Then he remembered a television program he had seen, about a company called Family Romance, one of a number of agencies in Japan that rent out replacement relatives. One client, an elderly woman, had spoken enthusiastically about going shopping with her rental grandchild. “The grandchild was just a rental, but the woman was still really happy,” Nishida recalled.

Nishida contacted Family Romance and placed an order for a wife and a daughter to join him for dinner. On the order form, he noted his daughter’s age, and his wife’s physique: five feet tall and a little plump. The cost was forty thousand yen, about three hundred and seventy dollars. The first meeting took place at a café. The rental daughter was more fashionable than Nishida’s real daughter--he used the English word “sharp”--but the wife immediately impressed him as “an ordinary, generic middle-aged woman.” He added, “Unlike, for example, Ms. Matsumoto”--he nodded toward my interpreter, Chie Matsumoto--”who might look like a career woman.” Chie, a journalist, teacher, and activist, who has spiky salt-and-pepper hair and wears plastic-framed glasses, laughed as she translated this qualification.

The wife asked Nishida for details about how she and the daughter should act. Nishida demonstrated the characteristic toss of the head with which his late wife had rearranged her hair, and his daughter’s playful way of poking him in the ribs. Then the women started acting. The rental wife called him Kazu, just as his real wife had, and tossed her head to shake back her hair. The rental daughter playfully poked him in the ribs. An observer would have taken them for a real family.

Nishida booked a second meeting. This time, the wife and daughter came to his house. The wife cooked okonomiyaki, a kind of pancake that Nishida’s late wife had made, while Nishida chatted with the daughter. Then they ate dinner together and watched television.

More family dinners followed, usually at Nishida’s house, though one time they went out for monjayaki, another variety of pancake beloved by the late Mrs. Nishida. It hadn’t been a fancy meal, and Nishida wondered whether he should have taken the women, who were, after all, his guests, to a nicer place. Then again, in real life, the Nishidas hadn’t gone to any of those nicer places.

Before another meeting, it occurred to Nishida to send Family Romance a copy of his house key. When he came home from work that night, the lights were on, the house was warm, and a wife and daughter were there to say, “Welcome home.”

“That was very nice,” Nishida recalled, smiling slightly. He said he didn’t miss the women when they left--not with any sense of urgency or longing. But he did think, “It would be nice to spend some time like that with them again.”

Nishida said that, although he still calls them by the names of his wife and daughter, and the meetings still take the form of family dinners, the women have, to some extent, stopped acting and “turned into their own selves.” The rental wife sometimes “breaks out of the shell of the rental family” enough to complain about her real husband, and Nishida gives her advice. With this loosening of the roles, he realized that he, too, had been acting, playing the part of ��a good husband and father,” trying not to seem too miserable, telling his daughter how to hold her rice bowl. Now he felt lighter, able for the first time to talk about his real daughter, about how shocked he had been when she announced her decision to move in with a boyfriend he had never met, and how they had argued and broken off contact.

On the subject of the real daughter, the rental daughter had a lot to say: as someone in her early twenties, she could tell that Nishida hadn’t spoken correctly, or expressed himself in the right way. He’d made it hard for his daughter to apologize and it was up to him to create an opening. “Your daughter is waiting for you to call her,” she told him.

Eventually, Nishida called his daughter--something he says he wouldn’t have done if the rental substitute hadn’t helped him see her point of view. It took a few tries to get through, but they were eventually able to talk. One day, he came home from work to find fresh flowers for his wife on the family altar, and he understood that his daughter had been at the house while he was gone.

“I’ve been telling her to come home,” he said carefully, folding and refolding a hand towel that the waitress had brought him. “I’m hoping to meet her again soon.”

Yuichi Ishii, the founder of Family Romance, told me that he and his “cast” actively strategize in order to engineer outcomes like Nishida’s, in which the rental family makes itself redundant in the client’s life. His goal, he said, is “to bring about a society where no one needs our service.” A handsome man in his mid-thirties, he came to one of our meetings straight from a TV interview, wearing a pin-striped suit.

Born in Tokyo, Ishii grew up on the Chiba coast, where his father was a fruit dealer and his mother taught swimming. When he was in elementary school, his friends would gather around a pay phone to listen to him make prank calls, disguising his voice as a grownup’s; only he could make such calls without laughing. At twenty, he was scouted by a talent agency, and got a few jobs as a model and a movie extra. He also had regular work as a caregiver for the elderly. He showed me pictures on his phone of his younger self at different senior-home festivities, dressed variously as Marilyn Manson or in drag, surrounded by delighted residents. He loved the feeling of helping people, and was proud of being the most requested caregiver, even when residents were transferred to different facilities. In effect, he was already a rental grandson.

Eleven years ago, a friend of Ishii’s, a single mother, told him that she was having trouble getting her daughter into a competitive kindergarten, because schools favored children whose parents were married. Ishii volunteered to impersonate the child’s father at a school interview. The interview was not a success--the daughter wasn’t used to him and their interaction was stilted--but it filled him with the desire to do better, and to “correct injustice” by helping other women in his friend’s situation. Looking around to see whether anyone had thought to start a professional service of this kind, he came across the Web site of a rental-relative agency called Hagemashi-tai.

Hagemashi-tai, which can be translated as “I want to cheer you up,” was started in 2006 by Ryuichi Ichinokawa, a middle-aged former salaryman with a wife and two sons. Five years earlier, Ichinokawa had been deeply shaken by news of a stabbing at a private elementary school in a suburb of Osaka, in which eight children around his sons’ age were killed. Such incidents are rare in Japan, and schools weren’t equipped with appropriate counselling services, so Ichinokawa enrolled in a psychology course, hoping to become a school counsellor. Instead, he ended up launching a Web site that offered counselling by e-mail. From there, he branched out into renting relatives. A lot of problems, it seemed, were caused by some missing person, and often the simplest solution was to find a substitute.

Ishii registered with Hagemashi-tai, but, at twenty-six, he was considered too young for husband and father roles, and his only jobs were as a wedding guest. Weddings are the bread and butter of the rental-relative business, perhaps because traditions that dictate the number of guests haven’t changed to reflect increasing urbanization and migration, shrinking families, and decreased job security. Laid-off grooms rent replacements for co-workers and supervisors. People who changed schools a lot rent childhood friends. The newly affianced, reluctant to trouble one another with family problems, may rent substitutes for parents who are divorced, incarcerated, or mentally ill. One Hagemashi-tai client simply didn’t want to tell his fiancée that his parents were dead, so he rented replacements.

In 2009, Ishii decided to start his own company. Ishii runs Family Romance alongside a talent agency and a tech consultancy, employing about twenty full-time staff members, seven or eight of whom work exclusively for Family Romance. He maintains a database of some twelve hundred freelance actors. Big one-time jobs, like weddings, account for about seventy per cent of Family Romance’s revenue. The rest comes from personal relationships that may, as in Kazushige Nishida’s case, continue for years.

Ishii told me that, since 2009, he has played the husband to a hundred women. About sixty of those jobs were ongoing. At one point, early in his career, he was in ten families at the same time. It was not a sustainable workload. “You feel like you have someone’s life on your shoulders,” he said. He has since implemented a policy that no actor may play more than five roles at a time.

One of the hazards of the job is client dependency. Ishii says that between thirty and forty per cent of the women in ongoing relationships with rental husbands eventually propose marriage. Male clients have less opportunity to become dependent, because rental wives, for safety reasons, rarely visit men at home; Nishida’s wife and daughter made an exception because there were two of them. In general, rental partners and spouses aren’t supposed to be alone with clients one on one, and physical contact beyond hand-holding is not allowed.

The most difficult dependency situations involve single mothers. “We can’t just push them away and say ‘No, we can’t do that’ in a cold way, because we have a responsibility that we will play that role for a long time,” Ishii said. In such cases, his first step is to reduce the frequency of meetings to once every three months. This approach works with some people, but others insist on more frequent meetings. Occasionally, relationships have to be terminated.

In Tokyo this winter, I met with cast members from both Family Romance and Hagemashi-tai. They had attended weddings, spiritual seminars, job fairs, standup-comedy contests, and the album releases of teen idols. One woman had been impersonating a man’s wife for seven years: the real wife had put on weight, so the husband hired the stand-in to go out with him and his friends. The same actress had also replaced overweight mothers at school events; the children of overweight parents may be subject to bullying. Ichinokawa and Ishii told me many more stories. A hostess in a cabaret club hired a client to request her. A blind woman rented a seeing friend to identify the good-looking men at a singles dance. A pregnant woman rented a mother to persuade her boyfriend to acknowledge their child, and a young man rented a father to conciliate the parents of his pregnant lover.

Single women with marriage-obsessed parents often rent fake boyfriends or fiancés. If the parents demand to see the boyfriend again, the woman will typically stall for a while, and then say things didn’t work out. But sometimes the parents can’t be put off and matters escalate. Ishii says that, two or three times a year, he stages entire fake weddings. The cost is around five million yen (around forty-seven thousand dollars). In some cases, the bride invites real co-workers, friends, and family members. In others, everyone is an actor except the bride and her parents. The rental best man gives a speech, often bringing the rental guests to tears. When Ishii plays the groom, he experiences complicated emotions. A fake wedding, he says, is just as much work to organize as a real one, and he and the client plan together for months. Invariably, Ishii says, “I start to fall for her.” When it comes to the kiss, some brides prefer to fake it--they touch cheeks so it looks like they’re kissing--but others opt for the real thing. Ishii tries to pretend he’s acting in a movie, but often, he says, “I feel like I’m really getting married to this woman.”

Although it goes without saying that many aspects of the Japanese rental-relative business must be specific to Japan, it is also the case that people throughout human history have been paying strangers to fill roles that their kinsfolk performed for free. Hired mourners existed in ancient Greece, Rome, and China, in the Judeo-Christian tradition, and in the early Islamic world; they were denounced by Solon, by St. Paul, and by St. John Chrysostom. They still exist in China, India, and, lately, England, where an Essex-based service, Rent A Mourner, has been operating since 2013. And what are babysitters, nurses, and cooks if not rental relatives, filling some of the roles traditionally performed by mothers, daughters, and wives?

#Japan #rent a family #Yuichi Ishii #Family Romance

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aethuviel · 6 years

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The Politically Correct Jedi

So here will be my thoughts on The Last Jedi. Spoilers galore!

1. Porgs, Luke milking the sea-sow, Leia's Mary Poppins-moment... common complaints, but I actually liked all of these. I loathed the porgs months ago for being so unoriginal (bring back Terryll Whitlatch), but they were cute and fine with me. Unlike some, I realize Star Wars is a family film and has always had something made to pander to ten-year olds (Ewoks, Jar Jar, even Darth Maul).

The Luke-milking-that-thing-scene and going fishing... I just don't understand the problem with, it's just a detail you either like or don't like, not some huge character or story problem, and I really liked seeing his "off-grid" life (being a big fan of such things myself, and hopefully going to move to Kerry, Ireland, just where his island is located).

Leia surviving space by Force-flying was perfectly fine with me. It may have looked a bit silly, and she should never have survived contact with the vacuum of space, but Star Wars has never been about hard sci-fi anyway, and at least they put SOME of her Force talent in there.

2. The donkey-dogs (fathier is the in-universe name). That was some cool creature design to me, I really liked them, if not what they did with them (more below).

I WANT ONE

3. I loved Luke’s island. So sick of the desert planets (Jakku was just discount Tatooine), I'm very glad they didn't simply stick Luke on Dagobah, but gave us a fresh habitat.

4. It is a fairly okay, enjoyable movie, to see once or twice in the theater, especially if you're not a SW nerd and don't care either way what happens in the story or with the characters. Cheaply written and quickly forgotten, like a quick flick for one night, but it was enjoyable.

A common complaint is also the "these rich people are selling arms to both sides". I actually liked that when watching the movie, because that's something most people today still don't know, let alone that it has been going on for a very long time, and I don't think it's "forced preaching" like some other stuff (more below), but rather takes the film out of the "simple action" some prequel-bashers seem to want.

(Prequel bashers hate the prequels because it was "so political", but really it wasn't. It just explained the backstage of war, which is what goes on between leaders, politicians and bureaucrats, rather than simply battlefield action. THIS film was truly political with subjective political messages, and more on that below.)

And now for the less nice things. I will be talking about the trilogy overall too, so things from TFA will be mentioned.

1. The complete betrayal of character and story. Rule number one for a writer is that you A) Give your readers (or viewers) promises, and then B) You fulfill those promises. The Last Jedi did not do this in any way.

Snoke was dangled in front of us with huge excitement. "Who is this? Who is he? Where is he from? Oooh, we can't wait to see all your fan theories!" and two years later "Aha! He's NOBODY and this guy who we built up as the biggest badass, more terrible and powerful than Darth Sidious, gets taken out completely predictably in the lamest fashion possible!"

Rey, as well, was dangled in front of us like "She's the most special girl ever, everyone knows she's SO special, her parents and origin is SUCH a mystery, and we can't wait to show it to you!" Two years later "...AAAND she's a nobody." Like blowing up a balloon and pricking it with a needle, complete with fart sounds as it flies across the room.

2. I couldn't give a crap about (most of) the new characters. Rey is a total Mary Sue. I could develop this further but this would turn into a huge essay if I did. Finn at least has some SLIGHT personality, but he seems to be mostly there for diversity points, and goes off on a completely pointless sidequest in this film.

Rose... need I say more. A chubby Asian chick with absolutely no personality, who falls in love with a guy she’s only known 48 hours (or less), and stops him from doing his one brave and character-saving act (since he’s mostly been a coward inserted for PC:ness and cheap jokes), by crashing into his speeder. Why is this girl in the military, if she can’t stand seeing a guy she just met sacrifice himself for the ENTIRE CAUSE? She would rather see the entire Resistance die, than letting Finn go ahead and sacrifice himself. That is not cute or romantic, it is unforgivably stupid, and if I were Finn, I would be furious.

Poe is a discount hot-headed flyboy, because apparently we simply need one in each trilogy. I wanted to like him, but nope. I simply don’t care about any of them, except...

Kylo. Maybe I’m just a sucker for Skywalkers, no matter who they are (because Star Wars, in Lucas’ vision and that’s in the end what matters to me, is a family drama, and it’s about the life and legacy of Anakin Skywalker - my favorite character in any fiction ever, especially Hayden Anakin - his children, and in George’s own words, his grandchildren, in plural), but Kylo is also the deepest and most layered character in this trilogy. Not that it says a lot.

We knew from The Phantom Menace, immediately Anakin’s story and why he was troubled and split inside. We understood (if we were paying attention and didn’t just want *swoosh*bang*slash*) Anakin’s conflict in Ep2, whether we liked him or not. Kylo... just became evil? As a teenager? For no reason whatsoever?

We just know “there’s too much Vader in him”. Anakin became Vader for very specific reasons. He sold his soul to the devil to save someone he loved, and then killed that devil to save someone else that he loved. Anakin was self-centered (he cared about his immediate interests, such as his family, more than the galaxy or the big picture), Anakin was all heart, he was not “just evul”. If they’re saying Kylo “just went bad” because he’s like his grandfather, that... makes no sense whatsoever. Anakin was a very sweet child and a rebellious teenager, but not evil.

Kylo is also very twisted and "torn apart" as he says himself, he wants to be a great darksider but he can't be (neither could Vader, because he always had that light inside him), and that's why he's the "most character" of the characters in the new trilogy, but we have no idea why.

Leia says she lost him when she sent him to Luke. Fair enough, maybe he was (like Anakin) a mommy’s boy who couldn’t stand being sent away and got resentful over it, but that doesn’t explain why he got a dark side, AND:

Luke. Like many others have explained much better than I realized at the time, WHY IN THE GALAXY WOULD LUKE WANT TO KILL KYLO?

The Luke we know from the original trilogy risked his life, risked everything to save Vader. He looked at the most dangerous man in the galaxy, a dedicated SIth lord of 23 years, a man who had killed thousands of people by his own hand without a second thought (no, he did not destroy planets, that was Tarkin and co:), and Luke saw a man that could be redeemed. Vader killed Obi-Wan right in front of Luke, he tortured and froze Han to taunt Luke, and still, when Luke found out who Vader was, he was sure he could save him.

Because that’s the bright light and incurable optimist (and with a near-pathological love and loyalty of family) Luke was established as, over the course of three movies. Now, as a Jedi master perhaps some ten years before TLJ, Luke simply “suspected” that Kylo, his nephew, a child and the very beloved son of his very beloved sister Leia, “might” be getting evil. And he immediately decides to kill this child, sleeping in his bed.

Granted, he changes his mind, but can you blame Kylo for basically thinking Luke is the devil? This is a complete betrayal of character, and not the Luke we got to know before.

People change, but fictional characters are bound by rules real people are not (or rather, their authors are), and if something this massive happens, the audience will be very disappointed and alienated, unless it has a REALLY REALLY good reason. It doesn't. They just needed it for story purposes, because they were lazy, cheap writers.

3. The animatronics. This was something I distinctly remember from watching TFA in theaters two years ago as well, and I felt it even more this time. It's like they're actively TRYING to make the "muh practical effects" seem like 1983 all over again.

We CAN make absolutely amazing animatronics today, but this was not it. It looked very old and backwards. Unlike many butthurt prequel-haters, I don't give a PIECE OF FECES if it's CG or "practical effects", I just want to be tricked into believing it's real. Bad CG stands out like a sore thumb, and bad animatronics... stand out like a sore thumb.

From baby porgs to Force ghost Yoda, a lot of it looked painfully 1980s. (Though I will say, not all of it was. I believe the fathier in the stable was an animatronic, and THAT was impressive and what I mean by "being tricked into believing it's real".)

4. Social Justice Wars: A Star Wars Story

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I don't know where to begin with you, so just ignore this point. I assume you understand exactly what I'm talking about. But basically, as the video below explains a lot better: Every white man in the story is an idiot, maniac or space-nazi, except for Luke (and he tries to kill his own nephew and student in his bed). And all space-nazis are white men, except for Phasma (so much for "diversity"). The top space-nazi, Hux, is a complete, raging idiot. Kylo and Hux bicker and yell at each other like children in a sandbox.

"The trio" in this film, since Rey is now with Luke, is a black guy, a latino guy, and a chubby Asian girl. I wouldn't care about this at all if it didn't feel forced. But it does. It's PAINFULLY obvious what they're doing. And of course, every single man in the film does something stupid or cruel, while the women are basically perfect and never make mistakes or do anything bad.

I was told before I saw the film that there was some animal rights propaganda in it. I saw it, and thought meh, it's not that bad. And it isn't, but it's still a political message that simply does not belong in a film like this (again, explained better in the video below).

Basically, Chewie, ever the huge meat-lover (remember him accidentally trapping himself and everyone else when he ran after a carcass like a drooling dog in ROTJ?), decides to not eat that porg he's cooking over the fire because the living porgs are SO CUTE.

Evil rich people beat and abuse animals for money and fun. I do hope this isn't meant as a prod against real life horse racing, because there are very strict rules on how much you can use the whip, and violent riders will be disqualified. I could understand if they aim it at the fact that in general, some sports still exist where we torment animals with electric prods (like some rodeos), but even that has no place in a film like this.

And Rose then letting the fathiers loose, saying "now it was worth it", because they were free, nevermind everything else they did that day and what they came there for. Bleh.

5. Destroying characters.

If I hadn't ranted about Luke enough already, I'll do so now. Namely his end. When watching it, I didn't understand at all what happened. His robes fell? I recognized this as what happened with OB1 and Yoda when they had died and passed into becoming one with the Force, but I did not realize at all Luke was dead.

When Leia and one of the other characters said "Luke is gone", I was like "wait what?" I had to go home and check Wookieepedia to get it confirmed.

Here you have one of the biggest characters in cinema EVER, and they take him out like that. Force-projecting himself onto another planet, then dying from exhaustion. If that Force-projection was meant to save him, that clearly didn't work. Luke was not just completely betrayed by the writers and turned into a completely different character, he was also wasted utterly.

I know not everyone can get everything they want in new movies, and it's 100% impossible to please a Star Wars fan, let alone many fans. I get that.

But Luke was now in his fifties, and had had thirty+ years to train since we last saw him. He was already really powerful by the end of ROTJ, he was the son of the Chosen One, should have a crazy high Force power in him (or midi-chlorian count, which I don't mind at all).

And since unlike his father, he was never severely mutilated, and he lived a much longer life as a Jedi, he should be CRAZY powerful by now. At least Yoda level. We should have gotten some really amazing Force battles (like Yoda vs Sidious, but much more still) between Luke and Kylo, Luke or Snoke, or just anything.

Which brings me to... the Knights of Ren. They were mentioned (and seen briefly, in Rey's vision) in TFA. And it is to be assumed they were Luke's former students who followed Kylo. Why were they not seen? Why was there not a single true lightsaber duel in this film? (AND HOW IN THE FLYING FUCK COULD REY AND KYLO BEAT ALL THOSE GUARDS? They cut through them like butter.)

Kylo is supposed to be "Master of the Knights of Ren", but we're 2/3rds into the trilogy, and he seems to be in a vacuum, just a lonely frightened boy disciplined by No-character Snoke when he isn’t yelling at Hux. Where are his knights?

6. Betraying Lucas

Kathleen Kennedy promised to honor Lucas' wishes and use his story treatment. Kathleen Kennedy lied, wiped her ass with his story, and threw it in the garbage in favor of "The Force is Female!" and the almighty $$$.

Lucas has spoken for decades on how the next trilogy (which he asked Mark Hamill if he would be interested in filming, back in 1976, supposed to be filmed in 2011!), would be about "Darth Vader's grandchildren". Emphasis on children, in plural. And he wanted the characters (the respective kids of Luke and Leia) to be teenagers.

Fine, if Kennedyfilm thinks teenagers are too young and childish for their audience, make them older, but they didn't just do that. They threw his entire story and ideas in the toilet. Mark was completely alienated and disgusted by their decisions for Luke, which he has expressed at length (as well as his deep admiration and loyalty to Lucas, while he always does this in subtle ways, to not piss anyone off or get on the wrong foot with anyone).

In Legends, which was all Lucas-approved, Han and Leia had three children and Luke had one (then Han and Leia's youngest son died tragically, and even more tragically, the daughter ended up killing her other brother years later, but that's for another time).

I get if this is too many characters, or too many Skywalkers for Kennedyfilm (numerous characters in books are often squeezed into two or one in film, since instead of weeks, you only have a couple of hours to get to know all the characters), but they just gave us ONE Skywalker grandkid. Kylo, who's completely messed up and unlikely to carry this legacy on (and the Skywalker name is officially dead with Luke).

They teased us with Domhnall Gleeson, who looked like an obvious Ben Skywalker. They teased us with Rey, so similar to Padmé "there is no way they're not related", and tons of hints in TFA. But nope. Just Kylo. And thus ends the Skywalkers.

And no Skywalkers, no Star Wars.

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#The Last Jedi #Star Wars #The Last Jedi review

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multifandom-hoes · 7 years

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Too Far Gone

Member: G-DRAGON || BIGBANG

Genre: Mafia!AU, Yandere, Smut

Short Summary: Turns out that having a pretty face can bring on way more problems than horny males. For example? Being put into the assassination list of one of the most infamous mafia bosses that is now after your head.

Words: 1.8k A/N: I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO HOMEWORK FOR FUCK’S SAKE...

/ Part 1 // Epilogue /

A heavy bundle of files was dropped onto the top of a bleached blond male’s desk. He cracked one of his eyes open, a lazy, cat-like grin on his handsome face. “SeungRi?” his velvety voice spoke, “What is it this time?”

“The new assassination lists came in today.” The younger male answered timidly, only knew to the corrupt work that their organization did.

“Oh? Is that so?” the bleached man’s lips fell down for a second, settling into a pout to show his dissatisfaction. “Got anything interesting?”

The younger man’s eyes widened for a second. “E-excuse me?”

The man’s eyes closed again, this time in pure bliss and reminiscence. “Ah… I remember when I was new to this work, too. You’re allowed to skim through the lists, SeungRi. You’re going to see them at one point, anyway. Better get familiar with the victims now rather than later. Make out some easy money so that you’ll be the first one to snatch the reward.” The same cat-like grin from earlier graced his luscious lips again.

“I’ll keep it in mind, Sir.” The younger said with a determined voice and from behind him a deep laugh was heard, coming closer to the duo.

“Disgusting. It was a long time since I heard you being called `Sir`.” The deep-voiced male spoke, his dark brown being ruffled to the side as he wore a black suit combined with some black shoes, a jacket over one of his arms.

“You’re back, T.O.P.” the man in the chair snickered. “Stop destroying my fun and just get on with the list. That’s what you came here for, right?”

“As lazy as ever; ain’t you, GD?” the man nicknamed T.O.P mumbled under his breath, taking a total of ten files into his hands and walking towards the couch skimming through them. “Oh! This seems interesting…”

At this GD’s head flew up from the backrest of his chair. “A long time has passed since you were interested in someone.”

“The file’s empty.” T.O.P simply said, gaining SeungRi’s attention and making GD walk closer to where he sat.

“Show me.” He extended his hand, demanding the apparently empty file. And true enough, apart of the picture in the top left corner of the document and the place of the target’s stay, plus some hefty sum of money given away for the assassination, there was nothing else there. “Fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“She’s pretty, though.” SeungRi commented absentmindedly, peering over GD’s shoulder to get a look at the mysterious target.

“She’s mine.” GD proclaimed, taking the file with him and walking towards his desk.

“What’s with the sudden interest? You’ve never taken up any interest in targeting people after you were appointed as the new head of the mafia…” T.O.P breathed out heavily.

“Changed my mind. Besides, she is pretty. Of course, not considering the fact that she may be a possible threat to the organization. People with no background are a danger.” He chuckled, opening the file once again and looking at the round face belonging to a girl no older than twenty-five of age. “SeungRi, I’ll need you to tell DaeSung and TaeYang to come here. I’m going to need someone finding out her regular schedule and set the cameras in her apartment.”

“She spends most of her days inside her house. Only goes out for work and occasional meetings with her friends. And then again, she only hangs out with one person. There are guys, but as far as I’ve seen she only teases them. Nothing serious.” DaeSung read off from his notepad all the information he had gathered.

“While she was out working, I set up the micro-cameras. Doubt she’ll notice, since she’s literally the most common human being ever. I have no idea what she’s done to be put as a target; probably just saw something.” TaeYang added, handing a micro-chip to GD. “This contains all of the twenty-five screens that are currently in the house.”

“Why are you so careful with her, anyway?” T.O.P added from his spot on the couch. “She’s obviously not a threat as you had thought earlier.”

“I’m just curious now. You don’t usually get paid seven million won for a simple assassination. The most you can get is about five hundred thousand.” GD answered with a wave of his hands, dismissing his closest subordinates.

“Curiosity killed the cat, JiYong.” T.O.P added, the last to leave the room. “Don’t go in too deep.”

Sending his boss a last careful glance the deep-voiced male walked out, leaving JiYong to his entertainment.

At first, JiYong was careful with what he watched when the girl was home. He had skipped her showering, her changing clothes or going to the toilet. He did not watch her when she was sleeping. Why? Because as much as his work required of him to do so, he simply felt like a creep.

Then, about a month later, he had begun to switch his screen on whenever she showered, looking at her naked form through the foggy bathroom glass with an eagle eye. Changing from screen to screen as she walked, stark naked, to her room to change into her underwear and then lay on the bed, without even bothering to cover herself with the sheets.

The feeling of depression had begun to set over his head when she left for work in the morning and he instantly brightened up whenever she returned.

He had caught her masturbating one evening. Quite quickly he had felt a stretch in his abdomen, his pants tightening as a tent begun to raise in his lower regions. With itching fingers he unclasped his belt and looped his hand under his underwear, softly palming his dick as she pushed her fingers in and out of herself.

Soft moans left his lips as he observed her arched back and sweat gliding down her body, her fingers curling into the sheets as her orgasm approached. He held his breath as his pace quickened, palm sliding quicker up and down his erect member, the pre-cum making it all the easier to slide skin against skin.

As he saw her body shudder and a loud moan escape past her clenched teeth he himself felt his legs tremble and soon his lower abdomen was covered with white semen, his eyes glued to the screen as he saw her wobbly form waltzing to the bathroom, where she took a shower.

“Fuck.” He muttered through clenched teeth. T.O.P’s words replayed themselves in his head as he was cleaning up the mess that he had made. “You must be fucking kidding me.” He growled and threw his fist on the desk’s top, shaking up all the computer screens through which he observed her.

“Curiosity killed the cat, JiYong. Don’t go in too deep.”

He was already in, far beyond the point of return.

He sat frozen in front of the computer screens, hearing only his own heart beat as he observed the girl, that he came to like without even actually knowing, making out with a man. A man that wasn’t him.

Rage consumed him as his hands shook on the table top. His eyes turned into narrowed slits as he heard her moaning from the man’s tongue working in her pussy. He had to bite his lips to not begin cursing at the man right there and then.

“I’ll fucking kill him.” He muttered with malice, fists now white from the pressure of being clenched. “That fucker won’t live to see tomorrow.”

With one last glance JiYong turned off the screens, in his mind only saving her naked form covered in sweat as he walked out of his office and towards her house.

“Good morning, my dear (Y/N).” he muttered, caressing the girl’s face as she squirmed awake, only a thin nightgown to cover her bare body. “Had a good night’s sleep?” JiYong’s velvety voice continued to speak, even through her confused daze.

“What the fuck?!” she yelled, sitting up and trying to stand up all together only to notice the cuffs that were tied to one of her hand and then the metal post of the bed. “Who the fuck even are you?!” she cursed, scrambling away from the psychotic man.

“Do you not know me, Princess?” he asked, sounding confused, his scrunched brows portraying the same feeling- confusion.

“I’m calling the police.”

“First off, you do not have your phone. Secondly, police fear me, Princess.” He chuckled and sat down on the bed, getting closer and closer to the terrified girl.

“Stay the fuck away!” she screeched, her arms covering themselves in goosebumps from the horror of the situation.

“Is that any way to speak to your beloved?” JiYong asked, his hand flying to his heart to add dramatism to his act.

“You’re a fucking psychopath! This is my first time seeing you! How do you even know me?!” she continued yelling, her voice being blocked out by the choked sobs and salty tears sliding down her face.

A frown on his face, JiYong stood up and pressed the `start` button on the small controller held in his hand, starting up the twenty-five screens that were now all around his room. “Looks familiar?” he asked, his voice full of mockery.

The female stopped breathing for a second, shocked beyond belief. “This is… My home…” she muttered, voice shaking as she took a close look at every screen, tears drying from her face as another level of terror and shock shook her entire being. Her eyes landed on the screen closest to her. “Oh… My God…” she began hyperventilating.

“Ah, yes… I had a feeling you’d want to see this image the most so I placed the screen there.” JiYong let out a thoughtful comment.

“You killed him!” she screeched, the loudest sound to yet leave her mouth. “You fucking murderer!” she cried, and thrashed around, and kicked at him and scrambled away again.

“He was trying to get you away from me.” JiYong simply said, his eyes empty of emotion as he gazed at the mutilated body of what once was her fuck-buddy. “He didn’t deserve you, anyway.”

“Besides, what belongs to me, let no others touch.”

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thefirethecloudtheflood-blog · 6 years

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The Winning Hand

Just a brief disclaimer, these are notes I’ve made whilst listening to a sermon preached by Steven Furtick of Elevation Church, the best church in the world by far. These words are paraphrased and none of this is my work just my words arranged to purvey the same message. This is not mine. Thank you Elevation!

The Psalms may look like pretty decorative hallmark cards fashioned with flowers and any other decoration you would see on a beautiful card but in actual fact they are more hip-hop than hallmark, decorated not with flowers but the most outrageous Muriel of graffiti painted than no other than King David who has a deep love for God which God ascribed to David as a man after God’s own heart. Now that is one compliment we can all be jealous with because I personally would love God to say that about me but sometimes I don’t match my own personal grade, never mind the grade that God would give me. King David’s Psalms are like hip-hops best ever pieces because 3000 years later we are still enjoying them. This is why David seems to always have some sort of winning hand when it came to God. So let’s look at who David really is, who is this man and how did he get there?

This psalm in particular sums up the mantle of servant David at this point of his life. This was written whilst he was serving Saul.

“You are my strength, I watch for you; you, God are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. God will go before me and will let me gloat over those who slander me. But do not kill them, Lord our shield, or my people will forget. In your might uproot them and bring them down, for the sins of their mouths, for the words of their lips , let them be caught in their pride. For the curses and lies they utter, consume them in your wrath till they are no more. Then it will be known to the ends of the earth that God rules over Jacob.”

Psalm 59:9-14

Are you confused as I am? He starts out with a beautiful devotion to God and then gets violent, sounds like hip-hop again but this also displays David’s intent isn’t wrong in that he is asking God to do it because I guess he knows if he did, he would probably bring more trouble on himself but also you see the human flesh trying to rise in him and he tames it but nevertheless he is disgusted with them as you see now

“Each evening they come back, howling like dogs and howling like dogs and prowling about the city. They wander about for food and growl if they do not get their fill”

Psalm 59:14-16

What could cause David to experience such a height of varying emotions?

The Psalm itself is like a Psalm sandwich, starts off with love for God, then dismay/anger/hatred and then back to love again.

This is the problem with most Christians is that they believe that God is instantaneous. They believe that God is a refuge from trouble, it’s a little deeper than that, it’s more like your refuge IN trouble. This answers a lot of many questions but the foundation of it all is FAITH. When you think you’re in trouble, you’re not, you’re in training.

Your appointment with God or your calling is important and David’s calling was given in a way that you can only marvel. David was handpicked by God over his 6 brothers who were older than him and here’s the kicker – God announced this to David’s family, whereas Joseph, Jacob’s son, Joseph had to convince others about his calling but maybe God was trying to humble is vanity and self exaltedness over his brothers and father.

So, what do we do when we face opposition, well we write our bars (Praising of the Lord whilst asking for help). We shouldn’t wait for things to turn out positively in your life to give glory to God. God will bless you more if you’re blowing your trumpet to the enemy in an occupied land.

Your confidence is declared before the battle because I am praising God, not for what I have but for the promises.

David was anointed as a King, A warrior, music career taking off, released a mixed tape and is called to the palace to play the harp for Saul because he is starting to lose his grip on reality and all the women are dancing around David singing songs that amplified how better David was then Saul “Saul has killed his thousands, David his tens of thousands” This very song Saul personally hated.

If you have trouble in your life doesn’t mean an absence of God and the presence of God doesn’t mean an absence of trouble.

Your greatest testimonies come from your greatest tests. Your greatest bars come from your greatest battles. So after David’s victory over Goliath, was just another day, just another uncircumcised Philistine.

Jabez asked for the same thing as David, the more you ask, the more territory you want it comes with more responsible.

So why do we fight ourselves, why do we try and kill what God wants to use for our lives.

Saul was that furious at David he threw a spear at David, he missed, and this can be accounted for by you guessed it, God was in the room.

Here is a help for victory in a battle is that we DON’T fight for victory – this is how the world fights. We fight from VICTORY, our worship is our weapon and by this we don’t have to prove ourselves to our families and people we know.

If you have a spear headed you way.

Take the David way!

Duck, David, Duck! And let this is God’s way, let god have his way.

The war is within and so are the weapons.

What is David’s way?

David’s way is been able to live in a place when you feel like you’re at war with yourself. Being able to learn to speak to you and listen to what God wants instead of listening to ourselves tell ourselves what we FEAR. You can’t fight FEAR with FEAR.

It is also to be able to be in a place of surrender and trust while feeling frustrated, troubled or experiencing turbulences. If we keep our hands on the harp we can’t be defeated.

Relating back to the earlier scripture, David was saying that even though Saul just tried to take his head off with a spear that he wasn’t actually looking at Saul or the flying spear but he was “watching for the Lord”

The wanting to be David can now be accomplished. Jesus is the Son of David and Jesus is now crowned with glory by trading his life for our life with God in eternity as the reconciliation sacrifice, and David’s name means “Beloved” and David was crowned with God’s love and now we are crowned with the same love that was bestowed on David.

Thank You

TheFireTheCloudTheFlood.

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irenenorth · 6 years

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New Post has been published on Irene North

New Post has been published on http://www.irenenorth.com/writings/2017/12/my-2017-reading-list/

My 2017 reading list

Every year, I make a list of the things I read – books, long articles, graphic novels – and share them. Hopefully, you will find something interesting to read here and expand your mind.

To make it easier in case you don’t like one type of reading, I created sections for each type of reading and then listed in the order I read them.

BOOKS

The Healing of America: A Global Quest for Better, Cheaper, and Fairer Health Care by T.R. Reid

Does a wealthy country have an ethical obligation to provide access to health care for everybody? Do we want to live in a society that lets tens of thousands of our neighbors die each year, and hundreds of thousands face financial ruin, because they can’t afford medical care when they’re sick? This, of course, is the “first question” that Professor William Hsiao asks whenever he reviews a country’s health care system. And on this question, too, every developed country except the United States has reached the same conclusion: Everybody should have access to medical care. – Pg. 242

Though the question comes near the end of the book, it is researched throughout. Reid looks at the different models used around the world – Bismark, Beveridge, National Health Insurance, Out-of-pocket. If you want to understand health care, you should read this. You will learn there are very good, working models around the world that the United States could use or adapt so everyone has access to care.

Quiet by Susan Cain

There’s a reason this book is a best seller. It provides new insights into introverts and can also be beneficial to extroverts to learn about and understand their friends, family, and coworkers.

Pay Any Price: Greed, Power and Endless War by James Risen

Most of what Risen writes about was not new to me. I had read the stories in other books, newspapers and magazines. By, if you want to know what goes on in Washington, D.C., you need to read this book. It covers everything the United States government has done wrong since 9/11 and shines a light on the many abuses of power of the American government under the cloak of “providing security” and making American safer.

Red Notice: A True Story of High Finance, Murder, and One Man’s Fight for Justice by Bill Browder

One of the best books I read this year. I could hardly wait to get home from work each day to continue reading the book.

There are two stories here. First is Sergei Magnitsky’s life and death and second is the corruption and murder in Vladimir Putin’s Russia.

Browder recounts his journey to becoming the founder and CEO of Hermitage Capital Management, the largest foreign investor in Russia until 2005. When his lawyer, Sergei Magnitsky, was murdered in prison for uncovering hundreds of millions of dollars in fraud by officials in the Russian government, Browder became vocal about human rights abuses in the country.

Actually, I’m surprised Browder made it out alive.

America’s First Great Eclipse: How scientists, tourists, and the Rocky Mountain eclipse of 1878 changed Astronomy forever by Steve Ruskin

I interviewed Ruskin before the solar eclipse that passed through Nebraska on Aug. 21, 2017.

As easy read that can be accomplished in a day or two, the book discusses the solar eclipse of 1878, including emerging technologies that allowed scientists to better view the sun as well as citizen scientists helping out and the sheer joy surrounding the event.

It’s only $8.99. Pick up a copy and lose yourself in the joy of a total solar eclipse.

Planck: Driven by vision, Broken by War by Brandon R. Brown

Max Planck is considered the father of quantum theory. He was good friends with Albert Einstein. And he was German. Planck stayed in Germany after World War II broke out. He spent his life fighting the fact that he did not think as his government did, but was compelled to remain in the country.

I get a lot of book recommendations from the science and history subreddits on Reddit. This one was highly recommended. However, I found myself slogging through the book, feeling like I had to finish it because I bought it. It was a chore that needed to be done.

There is no doubt. Planck is an influential scientist and more should be known of him. If you’re a fan of Planck, this will probably be a fun and interesting read. It just didn’t do anything for me.

They Fought Like Demons: Women Soldiers in the Civil War by DeAnne Blanton and Lauren M. Cook

I think I read too much because a lot of these stories I already knew.

The book covers a part of Civil War history that isn’t covered nearly enough – that of the women who fought in the war. Hundreds of women fought in the war by disguising themselves as men. The book explores their reasons for enlisting, and staying, as well as their combat experiences and what their fellow soldiers thought of them.

Each of the women in the book could have biographies of their own. Some probably would, if they had been men.

A well-researched book on a topic not many people know about.

Paper Tiger: An Old Sportswriter’s Reminiscences of People, Newspapers, War, and Work by Stanley Woodward

https://www.amazon.com/Paper-Tiger-Sportswriters-Reminiscences-Newspapers/dp/0803259611

I really enjoyed this book. I’m not a big fan of sportswriting and I don’t read much of it today, but this book is so much more than that. Woodward is considered one of, if not the, best sports editor to have ever held the position in America. Throughout the book, he discusses the problems within a newspaper, many of which still plague the industry today.

One day, toward the end of my vacation in 1955, I received a letter from Mr. Welsh, my managing editor. He said that I was a wonderful operator but that my salary was too high for the News and therefore I was fired. I can’t say I was terribly distressed, for I wanted to get North not only because I hated the South but also because I was afraid one of my girls might marry a Floridian. God knows enough of them were hanging around the house. – Pg. 261

It doesn’t make any difference to me what happens to the newspaper business; that is, it doesn’t make any difference to me economically. But I can’t bear the thought of a general newspaper collapse. For I still believe what Nick Skerrett told me when I was a cub reporter – “The American newspaper is the greatest institution in the world.” – Pg. 286

Woe is I by Patricia T. O’Conner

Need to brush up on your grammar? Check out this book. I’m still probably never going to get the “that vs. which” thing right. But that’s why I have a copy editor.

Walking with the Wind: A Memoir of the Movement by John Lewis

https://www.amazon.com/Walking-Wind-Movement-John-Lewis/dp/1476797714/

Senator John Lewis recalls his life and journey to Washington, D.C. It is an important story about the Civil Rights Movement and one everyone should read.

“There is an old African proverb: ‘When you pray, move your fee.’ As a nation, if we cre for the Beloved Community, we must move out feet, our hands, our hearts, our resources to build and not to tear down, to reconcile and not to divide, to love and not to hate, to heal and not to kill. In the final analysis, we are one people, one family, one house – the American house, the American family.” – Pg. 503

Extract from a Diary of Rear-Admiral by Sir George Cockburn

https://archive.org/details/extractfromadia00cockgoog

Another recommendation from Reddit.

The full title is a mouthful: Excerpt from Extract From a Diary of Rear-Admiral Sir George Cockburn: With Particular Reference to Gen. Napoleon Buonaparte, on Passage From England to St. Helena, in 1815, on Board H. M. S. Northumberland, Bearing the Rear-Admiral’s Flag.

This manuscript was found in Cockburn’s own handwriting among his other writings. It was published due to its intrinsic value to history about the late career of a soldier.

Cockburn was there when the White House was burned and was chosen to escort Napoleon to Saint Helena for exile. Though Cockburn would later die at Saint Helena, this is his journal of the voyage there.

Minatare Memories: A Historical Account of the Tabor-Minatare Community of Western Nebraska by the Minatare Historical Committee.

A history of Minatare, Nebraska. I came across some ladies documenting the history of Minatare. They planned to write a book when they were finished, charging only what it cost to have it printed. I wrote an article about them. Then, I wrote another when the book came out. U.S. News and World Report picked up my story. I didn’t plan on it, but I’m on page 139.

After printing, the ladies noticed a few typos and they received even more information than what they had. I know how that feels.

Black Hills Doc 1892-1945 by C.W. Hargens, M.D., Edited, by D.M. Hargens-Hallsted.

This is the story of an instrumental figure in the history of Hot Springs, South Dakota. D.M. Hargens-Hallsted, or as I know her, Dorothy Waldren, brings her grandfather’s story to life.

This is a great and easy read to learn about how life was along the frontier. It tells the story of Dr. Hargens from his early life in the Missouri Valley teaching to becoming a doctor to settling in Hot Springs where he helped transform the city.

Tales in the book include his thoughts on how women should be treated and the “discipline” men received when women were bullied, a run in with Calamity Jane and enforcing the use of masks in public during the Influenza epidemic of 1918.

A novel feature of Kidney Park was a contribution box, urging patrons to drop a coin in order that good works might be carried on. The box was attended daily by the Chief of Police; we overlooked no possible source of contributions, even to having the night cop sit on a chair observing the late night comings and goings from certain establishments, a report culminating in an early morning call for a donation or perhaps an invitation to leave town on the next train. – Pg. 141

These dances by the Indians, with shuffling feet and synchronous movements and the songs in a plaintive monotone, brought to the sympathetic viewer visions of a western scene never to be forgotten but later to be tarnished by the restrictions and degradation of reservation life. – Pg. 144

The Battle of Wounded Knee had occurred on the Pine ridge Agency in December of 1890 and was a massacre of Indians by the Seventh Cavalry. The Indians’ presence there was attributed to the Custer massacre, the current Messiah craze among the Sioux and the mistreatment of Big foot’s band by the whites. The Indian warriors wore “ghost shirts” which they had been told would magically protect them against the bullets of the white man. Victims of this fallacy were buried in their shirts except for a few shirts taken as souvenirs by those handling the bodies. – Pg. 146

I have always admired the Indians use of his environment; the religious and moral convictions which abhorred waste of any part of the animals he hunted, particularly the buffalo; his early use of the horse, his reverence of the Black Hills as an abode of the ruling spirits of his people. Any white man who claims superiority to the Indian because the Indian was defeated by an advanced armament is deluded. White men in no way, mentally, morally or physically are superior to the Indian. We defeated them only because of the “advantages” of a more developed science.- – Pg. 188

The Indian believed profoundly in silence, the sign of perfect equilibrium. Silence is the absolute poise or balance of the body, mind and spirit. The man who preserves his silence ever calm and unshaken by the storms of existence, not a ripple on the shining surface of the pool, not a leaf stirring on the tree, that man, in the mind of the unlettered safe, is in the ideal attitude and conduct of life. – Pg. 188

This is a fascinating read. If you’d like a copy, the best way would be to call Dobby’s Frontier Town and they can put you in touch with Dorothy. Alternatively, you can pay way too much for it on Amazon.

This Blessed Earth: A Year in the Life of an American Family Farm by Ted Genoways

Genoways follows Rick Hammond and his family from harvest to harvest where they raise cattle and crops on Hammond’s wife’s fifth-generation homestead in York County, Nebraska. The book goes back and forth between the struggles of the Hammond family and the future of family farming to the history which got us here.

As the family fights to keep their operation afloat, they must deal with a myriad of issues, including the Keystone XL pipeline and the ever-increasing demands of security precautions put into place from DuPont Pioneer for the transportation and planting of seed to the ultimate harvest.

Far from an isolated refuge beyond the reach of global events, the family farm is increasingly at the crossroads of emerging technologies and international detente.

If there’s one thing I learned from this book, it’s that I don’t ever want to be a farmer. If you know nothing about corn, soybeans, and modern farming in Nebraska, this is the book you want to read. Genoways weaves the Hammonds story into complex issues without ever making the reader feel overwhelmed with information.

When I finish reading a book, I usually pass it on to others. I’m keeping this one and recommending you all go get your own copy.

Longer readings

The Things by Peter Watts Have you seen the movie “The Thing” and wondered what the thing was thinking? Now you can read what it thought of us.

I Just Wanted To Survive by Tisha Thompson and Andy Lockett A college football player thought he and a friend were going to meet up with two women. Instead, they were abducted and tortured for 40 hours — all because of a teammate.

How American Lost Its Mind The nation’s current post-truth moment is the ultimate expression of mind-sets that have made America exceptional throughout its history.

This article was adapted from Kurt Andersen’s book Fantasyland: How America Went Haywire—A 500-Year History.

The First White President The foundation of Donald Trump’s presidency is the negation of Barack Obama’s legacy. The essay was drawn from Ta-Nehisi Coates’s book, We Were Eight Years in Power.

Interview with Edward Snowden by Martin Knobbe and Jörg Schindler In an interview, whistleblower Edward Snowden discusses his life in Russia, the power of the intelligence apparatuses and how he will continue his battle against all-encompassing surveillance by governments.

Jesus as Whippersnapper: John 2:15 and Prophetic Violence by Hector Avalos, Professor of Religious Studies, Iowa State University

This essay challenges a pacifistic interpretation of John 2:15. In particular, it addresses the linguistic, historical and literary arguments of N. Clayton Croy, who argued that Jesus should not be portrayed as committing any act of violence in John 2:15. More recently, Andy Alexis-Baker concludes that Jesus did not even strike any animals with a whip, which was made of materials too soft to injure anyone or any animal. A violent portrait of Jesus is consistent with the Deuteronomistic view of divine anger and prophetic zeal that may have influenced the portrait the Johannine Jesus. Otherwise, the temple episode in John exemplifies another case where some streams of Christian scholarship seem reluctant to characterize Jesus’ behavior as unjustifiably violent.

The Danger of President Pence by Jane Mayer Trump’s critics yearn for his exit. But Mike Pence, the corporate right’s inside man, poses his own risks.

How the Elderly Lose Their Rights by Rachel Aviv Guardians can sell the assets and control the lives of senior citizens without their consent—and reap a profit from it.

A Generation in Japan Faces a Lonely Death by Norimitsu Onishi The New York Times examines the growing problem of forgotten senior citizens in Japan. The story follows two apartment residents who eat lunch together in a retirement community in the suburbs of Tokyo. They have outlived nearly all their blood relatives and are simply ignored or forgotten by the rest.

Who Gets to Live in Fremont, Nebraska? by Henry Grabar A new Costco plant could save the town—by bringing hundreds of immigrants to the only place in America that passed a law to keep them out.

This massive Twitter thread about the 2016 election and True Pundit is a pro-Trump fake news site that began publishing on June 9, 2016 by Seth Abramson

“It’s time to tell the biggest untold story of the 2016 election: how a cadre of pro-Trump FBI agents and intel officers—some active, some retired—conspired to swing the election to Trump. The story involves Flynn, Prince, Giuliani, and others. Hope you’ll read and share.”

Is This Genocide? by Nicholas Kristof Survivors describe Myanmar soldiers killing men, raping women and burning babies in a Rohingya village.

From the article:

“Ethnic cleansing” and even “genocide” are antiseptic and abstract terms. What they mean in the flesh is a soldier grabbing a crying baby girl named Suhaifa by the leg and flinging her into a bonfire. Or troops locking a 15-year-old girl in a hut and setting it on fire.

The children who survive are left haunted: Noor Kalima, age 10, struggles in class in a makeshift refugee camp. Her mind drifts to her memory of seeing her father and little brother shot dead, her baby sister’s and infant brother’s throats cut, the machete coming down on her own head, her hut burning around her … and it’s difficult to focus on multiplication tables.

“Sometimes I can’t concentrate on my class,” Noor explained. “I want to throw up.”

An honest, dark, and moving piece about what is happening to the Rohingya and whether it should be considered genocide. Yeah, it’s genocide. Go read the article anyway. It tells of the brutality the Rohingya have suffered and the indifference the world and those in Burma seem to have about them.

Burmese politician Daw Aung San Suu Kyi, who won the Nobel Peace Prize and the defacto leader in Burma[http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-41139319], continues to defend the army. She has called reports of sexual assault by soldiers as “fake rape” and, essentially, believes there is an “iceberg of misinformation” about the Rohingya.

It is a graphic and harrowing account of what the Rohingya have been forced to live through. If only we would listen, and take action.

A journey through a land of extreme poverty: welcome to America by Ed Pilkington The UN’s Philip Alston is an expert on deprivation – and he wants to know why 41m Americans are living in poverty. The Guardian joined him on a special two-week mission into the dark heart of the world’s richest nation.

Alston’s journey takes him into the “dark side of the American Dream,” where the richest country in the world is also the host to abject poverty.

The two men carry on for block after block after block of tatty tents and improvised tarpaulin shelters. Men and women are gathered outside the structures, squatting or sleeping, some in groups, most alone like extras in a low-budget dystopian movie.

We come to an intersection, which is when General Dogon stops and presents his guest with the choice. He points straight ahead to the end of the street, where the glistening skyscrapers of downtown LA rise up in a promise of divine riches.

Heaven.

Then he turns to the right, revealing the “black power” tattoo on his neck, and leads our gaze back into Skid Row bang in the center of LA’s downtown. That way lies 50 blocks of concentrated human humiliation. A nightmare in plain view, in the city of dreams.

Alston turns right.

There are many great points in the article, including this:

The link between soil type and demographics was not coincidental. Cotton was found to thrive in this fertile land, and that in turn spawned a trade in slaves to pick the crop. Their descendants still live in the Black Belt, still mired in poverty among the worst in the union.

You can trace the history of America’s shame, from slave times to the present day, in a set of simple graphs. The first shows the cotton-friendly soil of the Black Belt, then the slave population, followed by modern black residence and today’s extreme poverty – they all occupy the exact same half-moon across Alabama.

As one gentleman in the article said, “The safety net? It has too many holes in it for me.” These are people who are in despair and America turns a blind eye to it, preferring to believe people cause themselves to be in these situations when that is far from reality.

Where Wind Farms Meet Coal Country, There’s Enduring Faith in Trump by Clifford Krauss

Hoping for more unfettered production of coal, oil and gas even as it erects wind farms, a Wyoming county sees the president as a key to job security.

The Making of an American Nazi by Luke O’Brien

How did Andrew Anglin go from being an antiracist vegan to the alt-right’s most vicious troll and propagandist—and how might he be stopped?

This is a really long read, but a good one and a damned fine piece of journalism. This is why I have a subscription to The Atlantic.

On December 16, 2016, Tanya Gersh answered her phone and heard gunshots. Startled, she hung up. Gersh, a real-estate agent who lives in Whitefish, Montana, assumed it was a prank call. But the phone rang again. More gunshots. Again, she hung up. Another call. This time, she heard a man’s voice: “This is how we can keep the Holocaust alive,” he said. “We can bury you without touching you.”

When Gersh put down the phone, her hands were shaking. She was one of only about 100 Jews in Whitefish and the surrounding Flathead Valley, and she knew there were white nationalists and “sovereign citizens” in the area. But Gersh had lived in Whitefish for more than 20 years, since just after college, and had always considered the scenic ski town an idyllic place. She didn’t even have a key to her house—she’d never felt the need to lock her door. Now that sense of security was about to be shattered.

There are also these unsettling things in the article:

In the summer of 2015, another great white savior—himself a troll—appeared to Anglin, this time gliding down a golden escalator in Manhattan in front of a crowd of paid extras.

Anglin immediately put all his resources toward willing a Trump presidency into reality. He churned out cheerleader posts and deployed his trolls on behalf of Trump, directing several of his nastiest attacks at Jewish journalists who were critical of the candidate or his associates.

His absentee ballot arrived in Ohio from Krasnodar, a city in southwest Russia near the Black Sea, according to Franklin County records.

Anglin worshipped Putin, and seemed like exactly the type of online agitator Russia might use to sow chaos during the U.S. election.

Also from Whitefish: Ryan Zinke, Richard Spencer and Whitefish Energy, the two-employee company who were originally given the no-bid contract to restore power to Puerto Rico. I suspect we will hear more about Whitefish in 2018.

O’Brien also did an NPR interview about the article and his findings.

Graphic Novels

No Girls Allowed: Tales of Daring Women Dressed as Men for Love, Freedom and Adventure By Susan Hughes

https://www.amazon.com/No-Girls-Allowed-Dressed-Adventure/dp/1554531780

This is a great little graphic novel geared toward children under twelve. Within its pages, you’ll discover women throughout history have had important roles, including viking, pharaoh and general in the Kahn’s army.

It also covers topics, such as women disguising themselves as men and why they needed to do so. Most the these women risk it all, including their lives to pursue their dreams.

A User’s Guide to Neglectful Parenting by Guy Delisle

A delightful little read. Hilarious. I say this is how you should raise kids.

The Dark North – Volume 1

The illustrated prose-art book consists of five new stories by some of Scandinavia’s premier illustrators and concept artists. Everything was well done visually and the stories were compelling. The art is what is on display here and it does not disappoint.

This is not your typical graphic novel, and it isn’t trying to be. The artists are trying something new and, for the most part, it works.

The Forever War by Joe Haldemann (Author), and Marvano (Illustrator)

Released in Belgium in 1988, the science fiction graphic novel by Marvano is closely based on the novel of the same name by Joe Halderman, who provide the dialogue. It was originally published in Dutch and later translated into several languages, including English.

The Forever War tells the story of William Mandella, an elite soldier fighting for Earth in an interstellar war, which lasted for centuries. He is one of a handful who eventually survives the entire war. Mandella eventually settles on a planet with other veterans called, “Middle Finger.”

The Forever War focuses on many themes, including the dehumanizing effects of war and the changes in society as the soldiers continue to fight.

Like Halderman’s book, the graphic novel touches on themes from the Vietnam war, such as the treatment of the enemy and propaganda.

The original was released in three volumes, but has since been incorporated into one. The art is part of the story and often enhances what is taking place. In almost every place, the art is intertwined with the story and it feels as if each pane is meant to be with the text.

The only drawback is that in a graphic novel based on a book, there will, necessarily, be cuts. If one reads the book, they will learn more about why only people with IQs above 150 were drafted, why military-approved drugs were allowed, and more about how partners were sexually assigned.

The relationship between William and Marygay is also diminished, but I didn’t feel it took too much away from the graphic novel. It may be because I have read the book so I went in with some notion of the story.

All in all, it’s a good graphic novel that I recommend, even if you’re not a graphic novel kind of person.

That’s it for 2017. I’ve already got 20 books stacked up on my desk for 2018. Happy reading and I hope you find a gem or two in my list.

#books #graphic novel #reading

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