#my land is bare: yuletide edition

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Got this on the Yuletide Grima/Eomer nonsense and I am 100% choosing to take it as a compliment.

That’s a nice sentiment, right? I want to be haunted by JRRT! Who wouldn’t??

(I only bring the finest of trash to any fandom I’m in; everyone should know that about me now)

#lotr #lord of the rings #be not afraid of plenty #griomer #grima wormtonge #Eomer #my land is bare: yuletide edition

[nire-the-mithridatist]

So, I got tagged by

*deep breath*

@kiraziwrites, @dame-lazarus, @aviss, @samirant, and @ajoblotofjunk, (and maybe some other people? I might have missed them). Been putting this off for reasons, but I believe five tags legally obligates me to do this, else I go to fic jail... or tumblr jail.

Anyway.

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc) and link them  below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world. tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original) so we can  spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

1. Hold This Threadbare Heart at Needlepoint: This was the fic that brought me into the fandom. My first (completed) multichapter, the longest thing I’d ever written back then, my first smut... And an idea I could not get out of my head. Jaime Lannister? Doing embroidery to train his left hand? What a weird idea. Who came up with it? This weirdo, that’s who. I still reread this fic, every now and then. It’s unpolished, the pacing is clunky, there’s very little plot... but it’s not bad. It’s not bad.

This fic also got me talking to @luthienebonyx and a bunch of other jb folks, and that’s definitely a win in my book. ;)

2. A Good Match: When I get a fic idea, usually I’ll have it percolate in my mind for a few days, at least, maybe even more if it’s potentially a long fic. This fic came from a chat over one day, and within... less an hour... of talking to @slipsthrufingers on the potential of Brienne as Renly’s beard, a gdoc was created and we just started writing. And writing. And writing. With very little conflict, too, other than some bickering about whether potable water was a thing in King’s Landing. When we say we share one (1) brain cell, we really do.

Now, this fic is complete at 60k words, and it has perhaps too much angst for something that started so casually.

3. A Beauty By Any Other Name: aka the bane of my existence. I still have to include it on this list, because this is the one fic I know, deep in my soul, that I must write and I must finish. It’s a love letter to anonymous fandom friendships. It’s about how sometimes you know about your online friend’s sleep schedule intimately, but you don’t know their real name. It’s about how on the internet, your soul is bared open, and you can be an overly tall, freckled woman with a crooked nose, or a ridiculously rich and beautiful man with emerald eyes, but it doesn’t really matter. Not when you can instead talk about songwriting and digital painting and your favourite stories.

It’s also the fic that has received numerous comments that accuse me of seeing the comment writers. As if this fic isn’t a reflection of myself and my own experiences.

4. sharing a bed and all it entailed: I wasn’t going to list this fic. But as of last month, I’ve been living with my husband. The entirety of our relationship until now was long-distance; we only shared a bed a weekend a month, if we were lucky. When I lived alone, I used to feel so alone at night, so cold. There’s really quite nothing like having someone I love and trust share a bed with me; snores and all.

5. In Confinement: Oh look, I did Yuletide for the first time ever, and the fic (for Circe by Madeline Miller) is probably one of my best to date. The voice is nothing like any of my other fics, it’s overly ambitious with five sections, each from a different POV, it nearly killed me because I wrote it on a business trip... but the end result is something I don’t think I could have accomplished outside of the madness that is Yuletide, so there’s that.

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m definitely late to the game, but if you haven’t been tagged and you wanna do this... do it.

#tag meme #shameless self-promotion

[undead-christmas]

Can you tell us a little about all your muses, and their relationship with each other?

I am so happy you asked! This is a super long post!

Merry is a 24 year old boy! He considers, Ginger Gunner, Nog Ops, and Red Nosed Raider as his sisters. Nog and Red, he is actually closer to

Yuletide is like his older brother, he actually inspired Merry to cook meals! Crackshot isn’t really family to Merry. He’s just a close friend, who he wants to call brother but I kind of ship them so I don’t want them to have that type of relationship lmao

He’s had Octavia (his puppy) for only two years, she is two years old and has a lot of energy. Sanctum brought Scales to him. He doesn’t like the dragon as much as the dogs, but he’s still pretty cool. And they recently bought Jade, a blue husky puppy. 

He has very little memory of his time before the Fortnite island. But sometimes he gets more pieces, mostly just specific things like traumatic events mostly. 

~~~

Vampire culture is incredibly toxic. All males must be strong providers. They hunt people or animals and bring them to the dinner family. And since they live longer, kids usually leave the house after 1400 years. Unless they like their parents. Sanctum obviously hated his so he left around 1200, which would be 12 years in human years.Somewhere around 10 years old, he went on rampages and killed humans and mostly animals for blood. His parents didn’t want their Rich and Fancy reputation to fail, so they snapped the muzzle on him and he couldn’t leave the house at all after that. He was home schooled, literally taught at home. Most vampires are though. 

 BUT ANYWAYS 

 Sanctum basically just appeared on the island one day and he quickly found Dusk, his twin sister, at his castle. He stayed there for a while but eventually left and started talking to people.He met Merry at Noms and realized, “Holy shit! That’s guy that visited my castle and I scared him off!” They slowly got closer and closer and Merry was obviously flirting with Sanctum, but Sanctum is a dumb bitch who didn’t realize. But they’re dating now uwuHe loves his new Christmas family, but doesn’t want to neglect Dusk. She was the only family member he likes really. He actually enjoys life now 👍

~~~

Crackshot canonically has mania and obsessive behaviour, and I like to stick to that. It was caused by the limited amount of oxygen in his suit, which he got from working as a Santa Helper at the mall. The zipper broke, so he couldn’t get out of it for a while. When he appeared on the fortnite island, Merry and Red helped him out. The suit tore, but they were able to get the head off at least. And they found someone to patch it up cause he was sad it tore.

But he’s attatched to it. He only takes it off to eat and drink, hygiene/shower,  and sleep. Christmas is obviously his obsession. He tries not to judge those who don’t celebrate it, people are different, but it bothers him still. And mania is extreme mood swings, he could cry over the smallest things, get fire-blazing angry or cheer with joy for simple things. 

He is 26, but either acts older or younger. He’s likes Sgt Winter a LOT. The man reminds him of the mall Santa he worked with (he believed to be real santa). Tinseltoes is his daughter lmao. He loves her so much tbh

He can be fun to hang around, just don’t say anything negative about anything christmas-related. He will cry, or get angry and stomp his foot

He doesn’t have a problem with Sanctum and he doesn’t know much about Mayhem. Though I do kind of ship him with her. I want to write something with them, but don’t have any ideas

That’s about it for him

~~~

Now. Mayhem. Before the Fortnite island, she was in the wasteland. A 6 year old girl with no family. Ruckus was 15 when he found her. He had a camp but that was attacked and he just barely managed to get her out in time. They lived off the land for years and adapted quite well. 

Neither know how to speak proper english, he only taught her a few words. When asking what she wanted for dinner, he would say “Food?” and she would respond with something like “Pig”. 

It was only when she came to fortnite that they both learned proper English and full sentences. She loves explosive weapons. Ruckus is kind of like her gaurd dog. He’s swore to protect her even though she can clearly handle herself. She just has to give him the order and he’ll obey

She is now 19, Ruckus is 28, and she likes girls. Guys too, bu God girls are the best. She’s crushing on Ghoul Trooper and Renegade Raider, but that doesn’t stop me from being a multishipper haha! 

She’s not really connected to the other 3, she’s the outlier of my muses, but I love her too much not to include her

~~~

I have a bunch of other facts, but these are just their history and basics I guess. Sorry it was long and took so long to get out. Writing it took a while and editing did as well. I make a lot of spelling errors when I’m writing quickly

#ooc #thank you SOO much #I love my muses #Also send in some romance sentences #i wanna write about Crackshot and Mayhem #or Mayhem and Ghoul

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Éomer Éadig/Gríma Wormtongue Characters: Gríma Wormtongue, Éomer Éadig Series: Part 4 of swimming through fire Summary:

Post-ROTK, Grima's trying to make good on a vague sorta-promise that he'd be a slightly more ethical individual (for a given value of "ethical"), Eomer is learning what it is to be king-in-waiting. It is all a bit much for everyone involved - made more so when the two are stuck together on a tour of the north of Rohan in the winter season.

Eomer has zero (0) feelings for a certain former traitor. Grima insists his heart is non-existent, he might have eaten it when he was in the womb. Things progress from there.

--

And the Yule-tide nonsense DOTH BEGIN 

Éomer takes a trick with a triumphant ha .

Gríma tuts: ‘I let you have it. To make you feel better.’

‘Aw, isn’t that sweet of you,’ Éomer mocks before laughing. ‘Has your sister sent word?’

Gríma hums a question of: how do you mean?

‘How do you know she’ll be along soon,’ Éomer clarifies.

‘I just know.’ Gríma pauses to carefully collect his trick. ‘It’s a twin thing, I think. Or, maybe it’s a galdorcræft thing. I don’t know, could be both. Or neither.’

‘Oh yes, I always forget you’re twins. Who was born first?’

‘Brynja.’

‘So, you’re the baby of the family, if I remember the order of your siblings rightly.’

And what a face Gríma pulls. Éomer smirks, happily takes a trick then buries himself into his cards.

#LOTR #lord of the rings #writing #my land is bare: yuletide edition #be not afraid of plenty #griomer #grima wormtongue #eomer #grima x eomer

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

My land is bare: yuletide edition will bring us a brief glimpse of civil servant!Grima also known as the guy who committed treason because no one was reading his flipping info-notes and white papers. 

‘I think this is a guaranteed way to ensure complete chaos and turbulence in our fair city. I’m nixing the idea.’ 

Grima mutters that Eomer is underestimating the good people of Edoras. Sure, it might lead to brawls the first year but all new policies and programs have their rough patches upon initial implementation. Then you learn the pinch-points and can smooth it out to support the greater effectiveness of overall program delivery.

Grima: did you read the memo I left on your desk?

Theoden:

Theoden: I keep planning to but I never seem to get to it. 

Grima: You’ve been saying that for ten years, my lord. 

Saruman: I love info notes and matrices. 

Grima: friendship with Theoden CANCELLED. Now only friends with Saruman. 

#theoden: MATRICES ARE BORING SO SO BORING #Grima; bUt ThE nUmBeRs AnD KeY pErFoRmAnCe InDiCaToRs #my land is bare: yuletide edition #grima wormtongue #writing #lotr #lord of the rings

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Éomer Éadig/Gríma Wormtongue Additional Tags: is is just shameless nonsense for the yuletide season, eomer and grima on a roadtrip in winter, this is like those stupid hallmark christmas flicks but for Grima and Eomer, Theoden is still alive, Animal Sacrifice, they're anglo-saxons + vikings on horses, it makes sense culturally ok,  Summary:

Post-ROTK, Grima's trying to make good on a vague sorta-promise that he'd be a slightly more ethical individual (for a given value of "ethical"), Eomer is learning what it is to be king-in-waiting. It is all a bit much for everyone involved - made more so when the two are stuck together on a tour of the north of Rohan in the winter season.

Eomer has zero (0) feelings for a certain former traitor. Grima insists his heart is non-existent, he might have eaten it when he was in the womb. Things progress from there.

--

Obligatory Excerpt: 

Now that he has this settled, Éomer lands on the next question: is he to do anything about it?

No, he quickly determines, he won’t. Because that would be supremely stupid, even for him. There are two main points for not doing anything about it, he firmly tells himself. And they’re very good points, he reiterates.

Point the first: Gríma is an oath-breaking, traitorous, son-of-a-bitch who cheats at cards.

Eomer is very fixated on the fact that Grima keeps whopping his ass every time they play cards. 

Grima: you too can learn the art of card counting eomer. i have faith in you. 

Eomer: no you’re absolutely using witchcraft. 

Grima: the witchcraft of card counting. 

#lotr #lord of the rings #my land is bare: yuletide edition #lotr fanfic #be not afraid of plenty #eomer #grima wormtongue #griomer #grima x eomer #writing

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Yet, here Eomer is. Making a study of Grima. 

Which is the fire’s fault. And the fire exists because of the cold. Therefore, it can all be blamed on winter. The longer he is traveling with Grima, the more the season gets under his skin, the same as how Grima gets under his skin. Though winter, unlike some, hasn’t committed treason. A fact Eomer repeats to himself whenever Grima looks at him with that hooded expression of his. The one that can only be described as cunning, sly, wolfish. And, if the light is right, terribly hungry. 

Life has become a bit complicated since the war. 

[As he drunkenly told Eothain during the nine days of midsummer jol: I dislike Grima because I find him confusing. 

How so? Eothain asked. 

I don’t like him because he is a traitorous, oath-breaking son of a bitch who is rude, mean, and cheats at cards. Yet, that said, the thought of anything bad happening to him upsets me. 

That’s called having a basic human decency, Eomer. Having a good heart. 

It’s called being constantly annoyed by the man’s existence.]

ur in it deep my friend 

#you are so fucked eomer #grima wormtongue #writing #eomer #my land is bare: yuletide edition #lotr

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Éomer Éadig/Gríma Wormtongue Series: Part 4 of swimming through fire Summary:

Post-ROTK, Grima's trying to make good on a vague sorta-promise that he'd be a slightly more ethical individual (for a given value of "ethical"), Eomer is learning what it is to be king-in-waiting. It is all a bit much for everyone involved - made more so when the two are stuck together on a tour of the north of Rohan in the winter season.

Eomer has zero (0) feelings for a certain former traitor. Grima insists his heart is non-existent, he might have eaten it when he was in the womb. Things progress from there.

--

Obligatory Excerpt: 

‘Oh, still making matrimonial decisions for the court, are you? Look at you, once again taking up the mantel of king’s adviser with such ease.’

Gríma scowls, taps out the pipe and pulls a new bowl. ‘I only mean, Ivar is a petty lord and you will marry someone more useful than his daughter. Your uncle would have a pretty fit if he thought anything like this were a possibility.’

‘I don’t know that my uncle would have a fit, per se.’

Gríma passes over the pipe. ‘I know your uncle well, my lord. He’d have a fit. Only, it would be in private and you would never know of it. But, have you given serious thought to marriage, my lord?’

‘A little. I thought, maybe Gondor?’ Éomer blows out smoke, watching Gríma’s face to gauge his views for he knows, no matter Gríma’s actual views on the matter, the response will be something along the lines of: A good thought, my lord.

Gríma’s brow lifts a fraction then settles. ‘Gondor is a good option, my lord.’

‘You think otherwise.’

Grima’s hot takes on the middle earth royal marriage market, everyone. 

#Grima: I have 500 opinions on this and now I can't use them #Eomer: whose fault is that? #grima wormtongue #eomer #lotr #lord of the rings #lotr fanfic #my land is bare: yuletide edition #be not afraid of plenty #writing #griomer

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

‘You want to hear about the time Ranoulf convinced Éothain and I to go with him to filch the Yule-stag?’ 

Gríma slowly emerges from his cloth shell and looks at Éomer with dawning realization: ‘It was you who did that?’ 

‘Ranoulf, Éothain and I did it. Let us not place the blame entirely on my shoulders.’

Grima: what dumbass is running off with the yule stag on fire? 

Grima: 

Grima: oh no that’s my dumbass

#yes there is a Yule-Goat (except it's a stag) in this world #because it is Humourous and something that Would Totally Happen in Rohan #be not afraid of plenty #writing #my land is bare: yuletide edition #grima wormtongue #eomer #griomer

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Éomer Éadig/Gríma Wormtongue Additional Tags: this is just shameless nonsense for the yuletide season, eomer and grima on a roadtrip in winter, this is like those stupid hallmark christmas flicks but for Grima and Eomer, Theoden is still alive, Animal Sacrifice, they're anglo-saxons + vikings on horses, it makes sense culturally ok Series: Part 4 of swimming through fire Summary:

Post-ROTK, Grima's trying to make good on a vague sorta-promise that he'd be a slightly more ethical individual (for a given value of "ethical"), Eomer is learning what it is to be king-in-waiting. It is all a bit much for everyone involved - made more so when the two are stuck together on a tour of the north of Rohan in the winter season.

Eomer has zero (0) feelings for a certain former traitor. Grima insists his heart is non-existent, he might have eaten it when he was in the womb. Things progress from there.

--

Obligatory Excerpt: 

After a moment he asks, ‘Presuming you feel something like regret or remorse, is it because of what you have done and the harm caused or is it because you weren’t successful?’

Gríma continues working. There is the steady rhythm of brush on horse for several minutes. Then silence. Then tackle being gathered up. Boots on straw as he leaves the stall. At the entrance to Fyrfot’s Gríma pauses, winter sunlight slanting in through the door, casting him in shadow.

‘That, my lord, would be a confidence too far.’

Éomer sees him standing there, in the king’s colours, holding saddle and pad, the reigns over his shoulder, hair in disarray, a dour expression writ across his face.

‘And if I ordered you to answer me truthfully?’ Éomer asks.

‘Then I would answer.’

A beat.

Gríma, cautiously, ‘Are you ordering me?’

Happy Yule to all of you! I hope you have a bright day and next year brings you good things. 

May we all live in less interesting times and, in the words of Mary Oliver, may we learn to let the soft animal of our bodies love they love.

I love you all and wish you well. 

#lotr #lord of the rings #this is the smut filled nonsense chapter #griomer #grima wormtongue #eomer #rohan #lotr fanfic #writing #my land is bare: yuletide edition #be not afraid of plenty

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

congratulations on finishing my land is bare!!!! I cannot fully express how EXCITED I was to receive the notif this morning!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. God bless you and I'll be anxiously waiting for rotk (and your yule tide which has got me decidedly intrigued). THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING SUCH A BEAUTIFUL STORY 😭❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕

awwww thank you!! It’s been a JOURNEY for all of us. Grima most of all, perhaps. 

I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed the story and are excited for ROTK, where things for Boromir get a bit hectic and fiery in the family department and Grima discovers the joys of the undead. (spoiler alert; though it’s alluded to in Sweet is the Air) 

And the yuletide fic is just shameless Grima/Eomer smut - I mean it’s like five long chapters of them have many weird conversations and a lot of emotions also so much UST but yeah. It was begun as shameless smut and now it’s a small, smutty-ish yuletide fic. 

❤️❤️ Thank you again for the lovely message!! ❤️❤️

#ask #reply #anon #griomer #my land is bare #my land is bare: yuletide edition #grima x eomer #lotr #lord of the rings #boromir

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

So the My Land is Bare: Yule-Tide Edition is almost done and I’ll start posting it tomorrow. But uh what the fuck is going on with these two?

Grima returns bearing a smug face and a collection of chestnuts held in a large mug. ‘If we return the cup we get two pence back.’ 

‘We’re rich,’ Eomer declares. ‘Lay the coins out and roll around on them.’ 

Grims squints at him then at the mead. ‘You just bought that.’ 

‘I’m in a giddy mood, best ignore it.’ 

Grima carefully eats a chestnut as Eomer hands over a cup saying: ‘Got one for you.’ 

‘Thank you, my lord.’ What a furrowed brow of suspicion. But it passes, faster than it had in the past which is something. Maybe, Eomer thinks, he will drag Grima kicking and screaming into being a somewhat palatable person. Not too pleasant, for where’s the charm in that? But less exhaustingly tense and suspicious. Constantly flinching and apologizing as if the world is made of glass; as if he is treading upon eggshells. And should Grima break one, what does he think will happen?

Eomer eats a chestnut. 

‘Do people roll around on their money?’ Grima asks, before tucking into the mead. ‘I thought that was just dragons and crows.’ 

‘Crows?’ 

‘Love shiny objects.’ 

why are they like this?

a question I riddle myself with whenever I write them

#griomer #grima wormtongue #eomer #Grima x Eomer #my land is bare: yuletide edition #grima just hoards his money and likes to count it and put it in neat orderly piles #lotr #lord of the rings #writing #fanfic

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Éomer Éadig/Gríma Wormtongue Series: Part 4 of swimming through fire Summary:

Post-ROTK, Grima's trying to make good on a vague sorta-promise that he'd be a slightly more ethical individual (for a given value of "ethical"), Eomer is learning what it is to be king-in-waiting. It is all a bit much for everyone involved - made more so when the two are stuck together on a tour of the north of Rohan in the winter season.

Eomer has zero (0) feelings for a certain former traitor. Grima insists his heart is non-existent, he might have eaten it when he was in the womb. Things progress from there.

--

Obligatory Excerpt: 

Gríma, ‘Stigr gets cold easily. He shouldn't’ be so close to the door.’

Éomer, ‘Don't project your own dislike of winter onto your horse.’

Gríma, ‘I’m not.’

Unearthing a blanket from what clearly is supposed to be a storage room, Éomer drapes it over Stigr asking, ‘Will that suffice?’ Gríma hems and haws for several minutes during which Éomer decides to leave him to it and scope out the rest of the building.

Mimicking the typical longhouses of Éomarc, it is long, with a peaked roof supported by carved and painted wooden beams and covered with thatching. In the middle is a small, central fire pit over which could hang a cauldron or spit, save there is little here to cook with let alone to begin a fire. Plenty of fodder but no proper wood.

‘Can you still do the fire trick?’ Éomer asks, wiggling his fingers. Gríma, petting Stigr while whispering to him, does not deign to answer. Éomer assumes this to be a yes.

Oh no! there’s only one bed!! has arrived. Except it’s a haystack. 

#lotr #lord of the rings #griomer #grima wormtongue #eomer #roahn #my land is bare: yuletide edition #be not afraid of plenty #writing #lotr fanfic