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#my heart has been ripped out and stomped on
heliosheart · 7 months
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can’t seem to make progress on my twilight posters, so here’s this as an offering instead 🤎
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huntingrays · 9 months
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i hate when watching a show or reading a book with a main couple and side couple(s) and i get more attached to one of the side pairings than the main one
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crimsonblackrose · 2 years
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And with that my internship is officially over. Tomorrow starts my new life as a freelancer where...*checks notes* I’m paid exactly the same, which is $5 less then those in the same position (read: other interns whose last day was also today turned freelancers tomorrow) despite also asking for a raise (which I dumbly asked for less and still got a nope) and without any of the benefits I had as an intern. Who knew I had had benefits, like the luxury of a lunch break and federal paid holidays? Not to mention the pain of taxes. *squints* Oh and now I’ll have more work.
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spookymeowmeow · 2 years
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wait i haven't been paying attention to the discourse. is shroud (the spider) dead?????
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collectmytears · 2 years
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Whoever put glimpse of us and pluto projector together for that one tiktok audio…you need to pay for my therapy
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thawthebeez · 8 months
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just created he first draft of the epilogue planning doc! i am actually going to sob writing it.
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webslingingslasher · 10 months
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peters nerdy side>>>> can we get more hot nerdy peter pretty pleaseeeee
nerdy peter makes me feral.
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Peter Parker was finally rewarded for all the shit he deals with. 
A teen, who was a silent walker in school, but a near lethal hero at night, one that has to deal with more stress and traumas than any other kid at seventeen. Night after night, his spirit being broken down a little more each bad guy he’s put away. 
Queens see a hero that keeps the streets clean. 
Sometimes, all Peter could see was someone’s dad, or husband, or son he was putting away. 
All that bullshit he’s been dealt, the bullshit about power and responsibility, was washed away when he finally got something good, something he really thought he deserved. 
He got you, and that’s why he’ll stop at nothing to keep you. 
“You got yourself a good one, parker. Don’t fuck it all up with your nerdy shit, pretty girls hate that.”
Was it dumb to listen to Flash of all people? Maybe. 
Does he know more about girls and has a better track record at keeping them? Yes. 
But of course, just like how you were the one to approach him, ask him out, kiss him first and ask for him to be your boyfriend, he should’ve trusted you. Could you really blame him though, not totally trusting he can have a purely good thing with no consequences? 
He couldn’t, that’s why it shocked him when you made it clear you only wanted him. 
You wanted Peter Parker, however he came. Science facts, nerdy hobbies, tirades and all. 
—---------------------
Have you ever built up an idea of who someone was in your head, and when you date the other shoe drops and they’re nothing like you thought? 
That was you with Peter Parker. 
He was adorably perfect, noticing him when sharing a history class. Peter sat three seats up from you on the left, perfect position for you to watch his habits. The shake in his leg, tapping pencils on his desk, blowing a breath every time someone answered incorrectly, sitting up and leaning over his desk when something catches his attention, chewing his bottom lip while going over notes, poking his tongue out when he takes a test. 
Peter Parker was the constant subject on your mind, starting in history and causing you to look for him in other classes, you only shared one more, typing class. He was three rows behind you, there wasn’t a good way to look at him, instead having to rely on his quiet murmurs when the teacher stands behind his computer. 
After two weeks of pining you couldn’t stand it, stomping over to his table at lunch you sit down right next to him. His friends paused at your sudden and aggressive entrance. 
“Hi. We haven’t really talked but we share typing and history. For two weeks straight I’ve been watching you and I can’t get you out of my head, and I would really, really like to go on a date with you.” 
You can see it on his face, how he goes from shock to excitement, then as he looks you over his face falls. He thinks you’re fucking with him, you don’t know how to make him believe it’s real. 
“Here,” you pull at your backpack and rip the front pocket open, you pull a sharpie out and with a slight tremble you grab his arm, pushing his sleeve up you uncap the marker with your teeth. Scribbling your number onto his skin, “think about it, let me know.” 
Before you lose your steam you scramble to stand and grab your bag, “okay, that’s all. Um,” you nod at his friends, silence deafening as everyone at the table takes in the scenario. “Thank you, and… enjoy lunch?” Cringing, you turn to leave, whispering an ‘oh my god,’ to yourself while pressing a hand to your cheek. 
Peter is sure in that moment you were a hundred percent serious and you just mortified yourself, spilling your guts and being met with nothing.
 Six steps away he calls out, “yes!” 
You pause, then turn, “what?” 
“Yes! I’ll go on a date with you.” 
Oh, that’s a new feeling. It felt like your heart had wings, your stomach felt like you were on a rollercoaster, flutters everywhere. You couldn’t even try to play it cool, the guy you’ve been crazy about just as interested and curious as you were. A toothy smile overtook your face, eyes lit up. 
Taking a few steps closer, you felt giddy. 
“Really? You will?” 
Peter’s smile matched yours, he laughed through his answer, he can’t believe you actually like him that much. “Yeah.” Biting your bottom lip you pull it together, “cool, text me and we’ll plan something?” 
“You got it.” 
Nodding you walk off, Peter’s riding on a high like never has. He’s never had such a pretty girl like you like him, want him, notice him. He felt like he’s been rewarded, that he does deserve a good thing. 
Flash scoffs when you sit back at your table, immediately talking and watching faces gasp and squeal. 
“You got yourself a good one, parker. Don’t fuck it all up with your nerdy shit, pretty girls hate that.”
The last thing he wants to do, before he even gets you, is send you off. So, he listens and promises to be someone that should be with a girl like you, someone that isn’t really him. 
—---------------------
You figured it was first date nerves. 
That or just the fact you’ve never been alone with each other, especially under the guise of a date. It wasn’t like he was weird, but he was off. The person you watched in class was goofy, using his body to express himself, confident when speaking because he could back every word up. 
This Peter was quiet, guarded and almost… boring. 
You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, he just had some jitters. Maybe if you kissed him it would settle him, you could prove that you liked him and he had nothing to be nervous about. Trying to look past his awkwardness you took the night as it was, wishing he was making you laugh like he had in class, or wishing he would ramble on in a story like you’ve watched him do with his friends at lunch or at his locker. 
It may have been different than you thought but he’d come around after a date or two surly, you’d kiss him and after another few dates he’ll open up and be his true self. It was hope, but you were riding on it. 
Peter ended the night by walking you home, conversation slowly dwindling as you approached closer, falling flat when you were  in front of the building. Waiting for a moment you looked at his mouth, he made no reaction, you hadn’t expected him to sweep you off your feet but to not offer anything made you feel unsure. 
“Can I kiss you?” 
It was obvious from the look on his face that he wasn’t expecting anything in the slightest, but he licked his bottom lip and nodded softly, “yeah,” leaning in you wait for a moment, he makes no move, he has to be extremely nervous, no other option. You kissed him, you pressed into him and grabbed his face, his hands gently hovered and you pulled away. 
Maybe he just pitied you, just agreed because you put him on the spot. 
“Um, you know if you didn’t want-” 
“Can we do this again, please?” 
And just because he asked, and because it seemed like he realized he acted off and he wanted another chance, and because you really do believe in first date jitters, you say yes. 
—--------------
The first time you went over to his house his room was oddly clean, empty spaces on his bookshelf and shelves, almost like he’d put things away. Eyeing a bin by his closet you walked closer, “you collect comics?” Hoping you wouldn’t find, but still opening the top and starting to look through the ones on top. 
Peter took a deep breath, “as a kid, kinda stupid now, don’t you think?” 
You furrow your eyebrows and shake your head, looking back down at the comic in your hand. You thought when you started dating he’d open up more, instead he got more closed off. 
Clearing your throat you place the comics back in, in the exact same order and putting the lid back on. “No, I don’t think they’re stupid. I was hoping you had some new ones I could catch up on, but if you think they’re stupid now I guess I’ll have to get ‘em myself.” 
If he had known you like comics he would’ve never said that. It’s his fault for leaving them out, he should’ve put them away like everything else that screamed ‘nerd alert’. 
“I didn’t mean they’re stupid, just you know… collecting them as an adult… is.. weird?” 
The lamest excuse you’ve ever heard, but you keep your patience. It hasn't even been two weeks, he’ll come around. You know it. 
—------
Surprising Peter with a hug he budged against your weight before supporting you, talking to a friend while he wrapped his arms around your back. Picking up on pieces of the conversation you nudge your head up, interested in his words. 
The Peter you like, the one that’s animated and rambling, moving his hands across your back as he talks. You place a kiss at the bottom of his neck, “whatcha talking about?”  It sounded like a new program that was going to change the future of computer engineering, when you questioned he blew you off. “Nothing important.” 
You had tried, you tried to be kind and patient and understanding but he just wasn’t who you wanted. You wanted that person, the person that’s excited about new technology and collected comic books. 
Peter closed off when you asked, guarded back up, you wished it could’ve been different. Maybe one day he’d open up more, you didn’t want anything but his true self. 
You gave it a month before you had to accept that Peter Parker wasn’t the person you thought he was, today, you had to accept that you were breaking up with Peter Parker. Pulling away you grab his arm, silently telling him to look at you. 
“Can I come over later?” 
“Yeah, of course. Wanna come with me after school?” 
“Sure,” you wondered if he could see through your smile. It doesn’t seem like it, he leans down and gives you a quick kiss, you pull away and back away through the halls. 
He has no idea what’s coming. 
—------------
Gently pushing Peter’s shoulders down to coax him into sitting on the edge of his bed, you grin politely when he follows instruction. Dragging his desk chair to sit in front of him you pause to think about what you were going to say, clearing your throat you begin. 
“So, I like you a lot, and I’ve enjoyed having you as my boyfriend for the past month-” 
Peter’s eyebrows furrow, he holds his hand up, “enjoyed? Are you breaking up with me?” 
You bite your lip and nod solemnly, “I’m sorry, Peter.” 
The silence is unsettling, you look away from him, his figures deflated and his mind races. 
“Why?” 
Taking a deep breath and blowing it out you shrug, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, Peter. But, uh, you’re just… not what I thought you’d be like.” 
How could you not like him? He’s done everything right. He was the perfect suitor, he acted like the typical non nerd male. The kind of all american guy every girl wanted. 
“I don’t… what does that mean?” 
You laugh, “I have a type, and you’re not it. I like nerds, like, straight up goofy, funny guys that know something about everything and collect comic books and get excited at new, humanity altering technology. I thought you were that guy, but I guess not.” 
Oh my god. 
He’s fucked it all up, he was dumb enough to believe you wanted something else. 
He can show you he’s a nerd, he’s been one his entire goddamn life, he’s about to nerd olympics the hell out of you. 
Peter jumps from his seat so quickly it startles you, his hands come down on the armrests of your chair, the seat tilting backwards as he pushes his weight towards you. 
“I’m the biggest nerd you’ll ever meet.” 
Your seat jostles when he lets go and opens his closet, pulling out a box he sets it on his bed. 
“This is everything I put away when we started dating,” he turns with three rubik’s cubes, each one in various sizes. “,these are my rubik’s cubes, I can finish the standard in forty three seconds, the six by six took me about thirty minutes and this baby?” he bounced the biggest one in his hold, “, this is a twenty one by twenty one, it took me about three hours.” 
Peter dropped them to the bed and continued, “and this is my national championship trophy for chess club,” he shoves it in your face before he keeps digging, a small picture frames come next, “this is when I won the states most innovative science fair project,” frantic digging, “, this is a figurine of my favorite video game,” two large disc sets next, “lord of the rings and star wars,” 
He spins around, flying past your body where he picks up his comic book container, “remember when I was late to our date last week? I was getting these,” three new additions of an old comic you had just started to pick up, “, and currently?” Peter moved to his desk, tapping on his keyboard until his screen woke up, code covered the screen, he pointed between the monitor and a notebook, “I’m learning to read binary code.” 
You felt like the grinch because your heart grew the times the size, adoration blossomed, you could feel your chest crack and glow. The Peter you wanted, the person you thought he was from the start, was real and in front of you. 
This was who he was, so why was he hiding it? 
“Why did you hide that from me? Peter, that’s like, the entire reason I wanted to date you. I liked who you were, then you turned into someone else.” 
Peter rested against his desk and sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I figured a pretty girl like you wouldn’t want some nerdy guy, it might be cute at first but when I’m stoked about something I read on wikipedia and make it my thing for a day and talk your ear off about it, you’re gonna wish you had a boyfriend that just watches sport clips for fun.”
That’s the point you were trying to make, “that’s what I want! I was literally dumping you because you weren’t that.” 
“Well, I am that. So there’s no point in breaking up, right?” 
You hum and spin in his chair, “I dunno… you dragged me along for a month, hiding yourself from me, making me question everything. I mean, you have a lot to make up for, parker.” 
“C’mere,” you’re not given an option, he reaches forward and pulls the chair towards him and pulls you from the seat, flopping himself down and tugging you into his lap. Your stomach clenches, this was the confident Peter you wanted, it was confidence in himself. 
His pointer finger taps on the monitor, “you read binary from right to left, and you separate them into groups of eight. Now the key is knowing that each one and zero mean-” 
Your mouth on his, cutting his words off with a kiss, you held his face tightly, never wanting him to separate from you. Caught off guard he froze for a moment, then wrapped his hands around your middle. Pressing into him, separating for air but giving small pecks. 
“Baby,” kiss, “, I’m sorry,” kiss, “, I shut,” kiss, “, you out,” kiss, “I didn’t,” kiss, “, know it meant,” kiss, “, so much,” kiss, “, to you,” kiss. 
“You’re so much smarter than me,” a chaste kiss, “it’s so hot,” you look into his eyes, he’s flushed out and breathing harshly. “You’re so hot,” another kiss, Peter feels like the room is spinning, he’s never felt so wanted, so needed, the way you can’t stop kissing him, how tight you’re holding him to you, how blown your pupils are, the way you’re gulping him like water. 
“I mean if you,” he grunts when you kiss down his neck, biting into his collarbone. “, if you want, I could show you how quick I can solve my rubik’s cube.” Your hands drag up his hair, gripping and tilting his head away, better access to nibble and lick the skin. “Or, recite the first seventy nine numbers of pi.” 
Attention caught, “you know the first seventy nine numbers of pi?” 
“Mm hmm, I could also tell you” a whimper,  “, all the elements. Want me to start rattling them off?” 
Kissing the middle of his throat you hum, “I’d rather you take your pants off.” 
For the first time in Peter Parker’s life, memorizing the periodic table got him laid. 
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jungkookschin · 7 months
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older
think i need someone older, just a little bit colder, take the weight off your shoulders
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synopsis: all your friends say you're delusional for thinking you have a chance with jungkook, the handsome older man you've known since forever, but you just can't seem to let him go. word count: 18k
pairing: older!jungkook x afab reader
genre: age gap au (seven years), social media au!!!, childhood acquaintance au, fluff, comedy, angsty, outta pocket, alludes to sexual innuendoes warnings: character death (not jk or y/n), cursing, nudity,
author's note: i am so overwhelmed with the support i've gotten for this fic!! obviously this isn't going to be the best written fanfic, but i genuinely enjoyed writing it!! and yes, there will be a part 2!
PART 1 | PART 2
“Girl.. be for real. He doesn’t want you.” Beomgyu’s opinion bounces off your bedroom wall but shoots into your heart like an arrow; you subtly glare at him through your vanity mirror. Though, the Snorlax plush headband and unblended concealer in triangles under your eyes is far less than intimidating. 
“Okay, fuck you-”
Beomgyu shrugs. “You can wear all the makeup in the world and you would never get his attention,” he nonchalantly utters, not caring enough to even look at you while he addresses you. You pout, sulking as Beomgyu’s very real assertion settles into your system. 
Jeon Jungkook would never see you that way. 
He adores you because you’ve been acquainted since childhood- your parents being close friends. He’s seven years older than you and has witnessed you blossom from a childish boy-crazy kid to an equally boy-crazy adult, the same way you’ve seen him go from a prepubescent pre teen to a hot, older, rich, man. 
“Look, and that’s not to say that you’re not pretty or whatever because you are pretty and a lot of guys want you, but Jungkook… he’s just too old for you,” he offers you an empathetic smile before attempting to assuage the petulance in the air.  “Honestly, I would be even more concerned if he responded to your advances because that would be.. hella weird.”
Beomgyu’s claims often transform your brain into a philosophical battlefield. Would it really be all that inappropriate for Jungkook to see you as a woman? An age gap of seven years holds no real significance if you were both in your 20’s, right? But does Jungkook knowing you since childhood completely nullify any chance you have with him?
“Oh fuck off with that. I’m not a little kid anymore. I’m already 19 years old, almost 20-”
“The delusion is never escaping this one…” Beomgyu mumbles. He finally looks up from his phone when you spring up from your chair and stomp over to him. You hold your manicured claw up to scratch his face, but Beomgyu grabs your wrist before you can do any damage. 
“You’re such a horse girl, don’t try to scratch me- wait are you crying?” Beomgyu’s gaze melts after noticing the tears accumulating in your waterline. 
“No!” you respond, the tip of your nose becoming slightly red. You raise your sleeve to wipe your nose. 
“Wait Y/N! You’re going to get makeup all over my hoodie!-” 
Beomgyu halts when he sees your unblended concealer transfer onto his very white and expensive hoodie. His lips form into a straight line while he stares at you blankly. 
“Sorry?” you squeak. He gestures dramatically- blinking at you like a pissed off owl.
You bolt to the door, sprinting from Beomgyu before he quickly follows in pursuit of you. You run through the house, tumbling down the stairs frantically, and when you turn the corner, you stub your toe against the wall, stumbling over and falling flat on your face. 
You shriek in pain, holding onto your toe. Your eyes immediately tear up, sobbing through the pain blistering in your toe. And for some reason, Beomgyu is nowhere to be found. 
“Y/N? Are you okay?” 
You freeze when none other than Jungkook pops out of his room, completely shirtless with nothing but gray sweats on. His abs are literally ripping in your face and his entire sleeve of beautiful tattoos are practically mocking you- especially the mask one. It's laughing in your face because it gets to be on Jungkook’s body and you don’t.  
You begin to cry even harder. No physical pain would ever compare to the pain of not being able to have him. 
“Whoa, whoa, what happened?” Jungkook kneels down and takes your foot in his large hands. 
Thank God you got your toes done the day before. His thumbs press into the balls of your feet while he carefully inspects your toes. “Not fractured, I think. Think you can get up, baby?”
Baby. He’s been calling you that stupid nickname since forever. That’s what  everybody used to call you when you were younger; you were the youngest of all your parents’ friends’ kids after all. But for some reason, the nickname only seemed to stick with Jungkook. He has this horrible tendency (not really) of doting on you, taking care of you, and spoiling you to oblivion. 
You sniffle, shaking your head. 
Jungkook’s handsome face crinkles into a subtle laughter, an amused expression etched onto his features.  He takes his pointer finger and thumb, pinching your nostrils and wiping your snot onto his sweats. 
You smile sheepishly, butterflies erupting in your stomach. 
This man will literally touch your feet and boogers as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. That has to mean something, right? 
Jungkook scoops you into his arms bridal style and takes you into his room. 
Why Jungkook has a room in your house is beyond you. It seems like he was always over doing some errands for your parents- not that you were complaining, of course. He sets you down on his bed and uses his large palm to smooth over the frizzy hairs that are sticking up. 
“Just stay here for a while. I’ll take you to Urgent Care if it hurts in a few hours.”
Truth be told, that shit didn’t even hurt anymore, but there’s no way you were going to pass this opportunity up. You nuzzle into Jungkook’s sheets, his masculine smell absolutely amplifying your will to live. His cologne smells so good, the musky elegance of his scent making you dizzy as you bask in his essence. 
Anyways! Looks like you’re canceling your plans with Beomgyu. Apparently, he already knows that. 
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Shutting your phone off, your eyes drift towards Jungkook, owlishly blinking at the computer code projected onto his large monitor. He’s got everything going for him: rich, hot, smart, successful. You want to cry again. “Jungkook, can I ask you something?”
His focus remains on the screen, eyes still boring onto the monitor before he absentmindedly responds, “Sup?”
“What would you do if a bear, a lion, and a gorilla just walked into this room right now?”
Jungkook’s fingers pause, hovering above his light up keyboard. He swivels around in his chair, his handsome features crinkling in evident confusion. 
“I’m serious. What would you do if a bear, a lion, and a gorilla showed up in your room? If you aren’t able to answer the question, then I don’t really know if I feel safe here,” you elaborate as you gesture with your hands, the bratty tone laced in your voice attempting to guilt trip him for not having a backup plan for this very specific specific situation. 
“Easy. I would feed you to them and then escape,” Jungkook bites back a cheeky smile  before spinning around and returning to his work. 
You gasp dramatically, pouting before you pull his covers over your head. 
Jungkook hums to himself, laughing at how obnoxious you can be.
Later on, another question is conjured in your imaginative little mind, and Jungkook’s lip twitches when he hears your classic Jungkook, I have another question. 
“Hmmm?”
“Do you think you could put me on with your piercing guy?”
Jungkook swivels around in his chair once again. “Thought you already had your ears and belly pierced.”
“It’s not enough. I want more. Wanna be like you,” you murmur, eyes settling on his five piercings decorating his left lobe, the one in his eyebrow, and the two on his lips. 
“It is enough,” he immediately counters, “You shouldn’t put holes in your body.”
You cock a brow at him.  “I know you’re not talking.”
Jungkook’s lip twitches upwards at your cheekiness. “Yea, I’ll send you his instagram. Tell him you’re with me and he’ll squeeze you in as soon as possible.”
-
“And I told Soobin to not piss in the water bottle, but he did anyway. And guess what? I almost drank from the same water bottle. Can you believe that? I was so fucking pissed at him I almost threw his piss back on him…” Yeonjun can tangibly feel that you’re not all there, your eyes occasionally drifting off- so his eyes follow your train of vision until-
“Oh c’mon Y/N!” Yeonjun’s fingers release the grip on the gym equipment, causing the weights to thunderously slam back into place. You yelp, flinching a bit before you swat Yeonjun’s biceps. 
“You scared me you bitch!”
“You scare me! And what the fuck are you wearing? What kind of basic bitch wears a pink set to the gym?”
You gasp dramatically. “You did not just say that.”
“And stop drooling over Jungkook! He doesn’t want you-mmmphh!” You clasp your palm over Yeonjun’s mouth mid-sentence, your boba eyes glaring up at him. You release your hand, pouting at him dramatically when you feel you’ve tortured him enough. 
Hands on your hips, you continue glowering at him and he gladly reciprocates the scowl on your lips. 
Yeonjun acquiesces from the glare-off almost immediately, too entirely soft to hold a grudge against his best friend. “Did you only agree to come to the gym with me to see Jungkook?” he asks, sincere disappointment laced in his words. 
You immediately soften, disheartened to hear the crestfallenness in his tone. You shake your head at the notion. “No- I wouldn’t do that. I swear he’s here by coincidence,” you explain thoughtfully, “I’m sorry for being an inattentive friend. It wasn’t intentional. I just get distracted whenever I see him. I’m sorry.” Your eyes return to Yeonjun’s who smiles knowingly at you. He opens his arms, offering an embrace and you gladly accept, hugging all the problems away. 
“You’re such a lovestruck girl,” Yeonjun teases. 
“I can’t help it. He just looks so good. Look at his arms and his tattoos- oh Yeonjun, I’ll never get over him. What should I do?”
“We just have to kill him. That’s the only option left,” your eyes meet his, his empty gaze boring into your skull before you both burst into giggles. 
“You’re right. That is the only option left.” You take a step back to stretch your arms, releasing the tension in your limbs until you sense a very familiar walking pattern approaching you.
“Hey Y/N,” Jungkook casually greets, creeping behind you to wrap a single arm around your shoulder. He pulls you closer to him from behind, nonchalantly nuzzling his forehead into the back of your head. You use both your hands to grip onto his thick forearm. “Um, hey Kook.”
Yeonjun bites back laughter, watching how you practically become hysterical at Jungkook’s casual gesture. 
Jungkook uses his vacant hand to dap up Yeonjun- over your head. “What’s up Yeonjun?” Jungkook grins. Yeonjun reciprocates the friendly greeting. “Hey, how’ve you been?  You looked great with the tricep presses.”
Jungkook beams at that. “Oh, you saw? I’ve been bulking so I’m trying to go super heavy with the weights.”
“I can tell. You look fucking enormous,” Yeonjun comments. 
Jungkook immediately dismisses the compliment with a wave. “Don’t say that. You look good too…”
Tuning out of the interaction, your brain begins to malfunction when you realize that Jungkook is extremely familiar with all of your friends. You definitely aren’t the most social person, often opting to napping in your cozy bed instead of going into the harsh, unforgiving world, but you are lucky enough to have great friends like Yunjin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, and Jungkook knows all of them. That had to be indicative of something deeper, right? Perhaps his underlying affection for you? Or a sign that he was possibly in love with you? 
“What are you giggling about?” Jungkook teases, gently using his vacant hand to ruffle your hair. 
You crimson intensely. “Nothing,” you sheepishly respond, skitterishly ducking under Jungkook’s arm to scurry behind Yeonjun, using your friend as a protective shield. 
“What’s up with her?” Jungkook asks Yeonjun, to which Yeonjun feigns ignorance. “Not a clue.”
“Well then, I’m gonna head out. I’m actually staying at Y/N’s for a bit because her parents are out of town. Can you believe I still have to babysit her?” Jungkook says to Yeonjun, giving you a teasing glance. 
“It’s just in case someone stalks me or tries to kill me! I don’t need to be babysat,” you emphasize, scowling at Jungkook and he can’t help but to reach out and pinch your cheek. The casual gesture sends you over the moon. 
“Whatever you say. You need a ride home though? I can wait so Yeonjun doesn’t have to waste gas on you,” Jungkook suggests, eyes darting towards yours then Yeonjun’s to detect any traces of reticence or hesitation in his features. 
You do the same, glancing towards Yeonjun who actually sports a look of indifference. You playfully link your arms with Yeonjun’s before sending Jungkook a downward smile. “It’s okay Kook.  Wanna spend time with my friend today.”
A touched gasp leaves Yeonjun’s lips as he holds his hand over his heart, gesticulating dramatically to convey his surprise that you would choose him over the man you’ve been salivating over the past thirty minutes. 
Jungkook has no protests about your preference. “Alright Y/N, see you at home. See you Yeonjun,” he gives you a little squeeze before he departs. 
Yeonjun waits until Jungkook is out of ear shot to provoke you, mocking you in an obnoxious, high pitched voice, “I don’t need to be babysat! You’re such a baby- but thank you for choosing me, you know.”
You tilt your head, eyebrows pinching before you subtly frown at Yeonjun’s comment. “Of course I would choose you. You’re my friend.” You say it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world- because it kinda is. Bros over hoes any day. 
Yeonjun’s lips quirk up at the sentiment, “Oh how touching, thank you so much for gracing me with your presence, my queen.”
-
Jungkook thinks you can be such a princess sometimes, especially when you drag your feet back into the house, a sour expression consuming your pretty features. Particularly receptive to your emotional fluctuations, he doesn’t hesitate to ask you what’s up. 
He leans against the kitchen counter, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows as his eyes settle on your moping figure. “Who made you sad? Bring them to me right now,” he muses. 
You pause, letting your light green gym bag (with little Snorlax’s decorated all over it) fall to the floor with a thud before gazing at him with a vacuous expression. “Why are you dressed up?” you point towards his work attire- a simple white button up and slacks. The buttons on his dress shirt are undone and messy, giving you access to his chest and it makes you want to roll around on the floor and cry. His slacks are tight- accentuating his long, muscular legs and you decide that you’d be okay with dying only if  you were suffocated between his thighs. 
“Had a work call,” he responds, indifference laced in his voice, “Now who made you sad? Want oppa to handle it for you?” he teases, releasing a breathless laugh at the way your nose scrunches up in disgust. 
Nonetheless, you spill everything to Jungkook- because you always spill everything to Jungkook and because you trust him with everything in you. He makes you feel safe. Plopping yourself down on the seat by the dining counter, you wordlessly slide your phone across the counter. Jungkook effortlessly stops your phone with a single hand, his eyes scanning across the array of text messages popping up on the screen. 
“Not this guy again,” he mutters under his breath, gauging the situation. 
“I know!” you concede, “Wish he would leave me alone- but I feel like I have to respond.”
The text messages were from none other than your ex-boyfriend, telling you how much he misses you, how he’ll do better for you, and every other generic I want you back text in the book.  
There are various reasons why you feel obligated to respond to him: (a) the whole breakup was a mess and (b) it was your fault. You were in a long-term, committed relationship with your high school sweetheart until you recognized your exponentially growing feelings for Jungkook. The guilt of breaking your ex’s heart haunts you- his crying, tear-stained face often popping up in your mind when you feel shitty, making you feel even shittier.  Though you were no longer emotionally tied to him you do feel obligated to give him closure, or at the very least respond to his text messages.  
But you’ve had this conversation with your ex numerous times. How much closure does one need in order to move on?
“You don’t have to respond to him,” Jungkook’s sonorous voice pulls you from the thoughts plaguing your mind. “You’ve already told him how you feel,” Jungkook is the rational force in your life, always tugging you towards the right direction, especially when your susceptible mind feels the need to please everyone and everything.
“I know,” you sigh, “I just feel bad. He was my first kiss, first boyfriend. It feels like I just abandoned him.”
A look of contemplation blankets Jungkook’s handsome face, evident by the way his fingers trace over his chin and lips. “That’s true,” he eventually asserts, “but no one as young as you should stay in a relationship out of obligation.” He approaches you and settles himself down on the vacant seat beside you. “Actually Y/N, I’m proud of you for building up the courage to let him go. It would be more painful if you forced yourself to stay.” 
You purse your lips and nod, allowing yourself to enjoy the sensation of Jungkook comfortingly rubbing your back. “t’s just sad. I used to love him.”
“I know Y/N, but sometimes you just have to start living in the present instead of the past. If you respond you’re just going to give him false hope. Just let it be,” he articulates, using prudence to assuage you.
You nod, craning your head to sustain eye contact with him, making the conversation feel all the more intimate and personal, “How would you feel if you were him? I mean- if your girlfriend broke up with you and you were still like- in love- with her?”
He tilts his head, thoroughly contemplating the question because he takes your feelings seriously, and he wants to give you the right answers. “If my girlfriend loses feelings then she loses feelings, there’s nothing I can do about it. I definitely wouldn’t beg for her back, I’d go out and make a lot of money instead,” he smiles, “But I wouldn’t know how it feels. I’ve never been dumped before,” he adds. 
“Seriously?” you interject, not believing that Jungkook has never been dumped in his 26 years of living. “What about that one girl you brought to Thanksgiving Dinner a few years ago? What happened to her?”
“Ahh her?” he somewhat grimaces at the thought of his ex-girlfriend, “She was getting a little too suffocating so I let her go. She was really pissed off- tried to key my car and shit,” he states. 
You gasp. His ex-girlfriend was so sweet to you- she even bought you a Snorlax plush keychain. But you can imagine Jungkook trying to hold her back while she jostles out of his grip, trying to key his car- his baby. “No way? If she ever comes back, just let me know. I’ll throw hands for you,” you enunciate, showing him your fists to which Jungkook just scoffs in amusement. 
“Yea, I’ll definitely call you,” he remarks sarcastically before getting up, “So are you good, baby?” he asks, casually resting his hand on your shoulder, and you nod. 
“‘M good. I’m not gonna respond to him.”
Jungkook’s lips quirk up at that. “Good.”
-
 Jungkook is livid. You can tell by the way he spam calls you even after you repeatedly reject his calls. You quietly sneak out of the lecture hall and answer his call once you’ve reached the hallway. 
“What? I’m in class,” you impatiently mutter. 
“You’re fucking kidding, aren’t you?” he scoffs through the phone, “I canceled your appointment, by the way.”
The color drains from your face once you realize what this is about. “He told you?”
“You’re out of your fucking mind if you thought you could go through me to get your nipples pierced! I can’t believe you thought I would let you do that!”
“Why? What’s wrong with it?” you whisper shout into his phone, “I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want!”
“No you’re not. Baby, you can’t even drink,” he reiterates, a little more calmly this time. 
“Who cares? You’re not my mom! I can do whatever I want. Even if it’s through someone else!” you bark back. The silence that ensues intimidates you.
“Baby.” His voice is low, and it’s kinda hot but you don’t pay attention to it because of how angry you are at him trying to monopolize your actions.
“I’m not a fucking baby anymore so stop calling me that!” 
“You’re not a baby?” Jungkook laughs lowly into the phone, as if the claim itself is ridiculous.
“‘m not.” He can practically hear your pout through the phone.
“You can’t even get on a plane by yourself.”
You gasp at Jungkook’s low blow. That was one time. A month ago, you took a flight to Vegas for EDC to meet up with Yunjin, who flew out the day before you. But you had no clue how to check your bag in, and were far too intimidated to go through the security check by yourself. What if they thought your ID was fake? Or worse what if they sent you to jail? There was just no way you could go through by yourself.
You remember the way Jungkook shook his head at your preposterous notions but nonetheless still agreed to take care of you.
So Jungkook drove you to the airport, carried your bag for you, weighed it, and checked it in. He also stood with you for the entire thirty minute wait at security and only left the airport when called and told him you were waiting at the departure gate.
You don’t respond, and he takes it as an opportunity to further his point. 
“That’s what I thought. End of story. You’re not getting it done.” 
He hangs up and you blissfully sigh. This literally takes feminism back 32904098 years, but you kind of love a man that can put you in your place. 
-
Jungkook goes to the gym everyday solely so he can beat the shit out of Taehyung and Mingyu, who get off on tormenting him for his extremely complex and profound feelings for you. 
Hooking up to the bluetooth speaker and blaring the sound of police sirens, going “Ayo! He’s right here, officer!” every time they walk past a policeman- they even go as far as putting handcuffs on him while he sleeps- hooting and howling in laughter when Jungkook wakes with his hands restrained.  
Initially, it made his intestines twist and turn with pure guilt, guilt about harboring feelings for you, the little girl who used to prance around his room and do cartwheels in futile attempts to impress him. 
His friends make him feel like shit, but they’re his friends for a reason. 
“Hey, so how’s Y/N?” Mingyu casually asks, sinking into the welcoming leather of Jungkook’s sleek, black sofa. He props his feet up on Jungkook’s coffee table-  mahogany brown and custom designed to suit Jungkook’s meticulous and elegant taste. 
Jungkook narrows his eyes at the nonchalance of the comment, half expecting Taehyung to pop out of nowhere in policeman cosplay, ready to put him in cuffs. “Why’re you asking?”
When Mingyu detects the hostility blanketing Jungkook’s features, his jaw drops in realization of the reality of the situation. “Wait.. you don’t take us seriously when we tease you about that shit, right?”
Jungkook cocks his head in confusion, settling beside Mingyu, chopsticks in hand as he blows on his ramen. “I mean, kinda. I feel guilty about it.”
Mingyu eyes his friend for a while, and Jungkook slowly turns his head towards Mingyu when he feels lasers boring holes into his skull. “What, asshole?”
“Ah, sorry man. I didn’t know it bothered you. I kind of thought it was a given that you and Y/N are cute together. Didn’t know the age gap bothered you.”
Oh. 
Jungkook pauses, setting his sizzling ramen back into the plastic container instead of into his mouth, and Mingyu feels the need to further elaborate. 
“I mean, you’re always helping her out, taking care of her,  that’s pretty cute.”
Jungkook blinks at Mingyu, raking his tattooed hand through his hair. “Doesn’t that just make me look like a dumbass?” he mutters, before letting out a bitter, light-hearted laughter at the reality of his assertion.  
His emotions for you run deep and intricate, but one thing remains unequivocally clear: he doesn't do these things because he expects something in return. That would be selfish. Obligation doesn't factor into his decisions either. Jungkook doesn't subscribe to such motivations when it comes to his personal life. He views it as unnecessary and cumbersome—except when it involves you. Whether it's looking after you, lending you money, helping you with homework, or driving you to the airport, he does it all because he genuinely loves you.
He acknowledges the peculiarity of his natural inclination to care for you. In the past, he's ended numerous relationships due to girls he found excessively clingy, suffocating, or overbearing, all attributes he easily uses to describe you- but he lives for that shit when it comes to you.
Mingyu’s forehead wrinkles in confusion. “What? That girl loves you, Jungkook. If she does good in school and gets rich, you’d be bathing in that shit,” Mingyu jokes, causing Jungkook to sputter out laughter at the absurd thought. 
“Right now though?” Mingyu continues, “She wouldn’t be able to change your tire or some shit, but she brings you this sense of peace, and that’s something every guy needs in his girl.” 
Jungkook pauses at that. 
-
Jungkook is abruptly awoken by the blaring sound of his ringtone. Groggily, he reaches for his phone on the nightstand, eyes barely open. 
You, the only person that would call him at 3 in the morning, and you the only person he would answer at 3 in the morning.
Babysitting is the last word he would use to explain why he’s at your house right now. He’s at your house because, well,  he would do anything for you, even if you aren’t aware of the lengths he would go to keep you satiated and happy. 
He’s aware that men find you charming for your ditzy and oblivious nature, but Jungkook likes you regardless of whether or not you possess such an arbitrary trait. But it is true that there are a lot of things you aren’t aware of, like how utterly lovely you are. Jungkook knows you- sees how oblivious you are to the men who shamelessly ogle at you, or the boys who practically break their necks to get a glimpse at you. 
You have this resonating effect on him. You drive him crazy and you don’t even know it.
Initially, Jungkook had never truly focused his attention on you, yet as time passed, an irresistible attraction began to pull him toward you. He vividly recalls an incident in particular that left him dumbfounded.
Jungkook’s mom visited yours to drop off some vegetable. Gifting fruits and vegetables from their gardens are the way the aunties demonstrate their love and appreciation for one another. Jungkook reckons you didn’t know he was there because you pranced down the stairs with the tiniest boy shorts and  camisole top. Jungkook isn’t the type of man to become disoriented over the sight of a woman’s body, practically desensitized from all the women he’s been with, but he stiffens at your presence.
“Wow baby!” His mother giggles, using your classic nickname as she ogles you shamelessly, “You’re getting really sexy!” 
She playfully nudges your mom, “Are you ready to have grandchildren?” The joke makes your mother roll her eyes, though a smile lingers on her lips, infinitely proud of her beautiful daughter.
“I wish someone would marry my daughter!” Your mom jests, “All she ever does is sleep! I just wish a man would even look her way!” 
Jungkook’s eyebrows pinch in bewilderment. He knew your mother was only joking, teasing you as per usual- because clearly, you are captivatingly gorgeous. You make a sly comment in return to make his mom giggle, always so smooth and sociable with the old ladies. 
Suddenly, you randomly swivel around, yelping at Jungkook’s presence. “Oh hey,” you greet, fidgeting in place, “I didn’t know you were here. Sorry- I should cover up a little.”
For the first time in his life Jungkook is speechless in front of you. You. You just look so pretty standing in front of him, your manicured fingers twirling a single strand of hair, gazing at him and gnawing your lips like he makes you nervous when in reality you make him tremble with just one look. It makes his chest tighten and he inhales deeply to compose himself.
“No. Not at all, you should be comfortable in your own home,” the smile he offers you is forced, polite, and you’re bewildered at the tension accumulating between you and him. Your eyes glint downward; you can’t even look at him, and suddenly a bold wave of impulsivity washes over you.
“Hey Jungkook, can we talk in the other room?”
Jungkook’s eyes flash towards his mother’s then rapidly back at you. Subconsciously, his eyes trace down your body and he feels like has to physically gouge his eyes out to prevent himself from looking.
“Yea, sure.”
He follows you upstairs into the guest room, taking extreme measures to keep his pupils focused on the ceiling lights above your head. However, his efforts work against him because the ceiling lights shine on you like a spotlight, illuminating your gorgeous figure as you make your way up the stairs.
Your fingers wrap around his forearm and you pull him into the room.
You waste no time getting straight to the point.“Jungkook, I think I’m pregnant.”
Jungkook blinks, processing what you just said. “Huh?”
You bite your lip anxiously, crossing your arms while you look down at your toes. “My period is late, and I don’t know what to do- you’re the only person I trust to talk about this.”
Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to confirm the sentiment. “You can trust me with anything. I’ll always take care of you- ‘m just a little shocked because I thought you were still a virgin.”
Gasping dramatically, you pout at him and stomp your foot. “I’m not a little kid anymore.”
Yea, clearly not, he thinks. “Just act normal. After I drop my mom off at home I’ll come back with a pregnancy test.”
You nod and give him a downward smile. “Thanks- ‘m just really nervous and I hope I’m not pregnant because I don’t even remember who the dad is and-“
Jungkook frowns at that, perturbation morphing onto his features. “Y/N, you don’t remember who the dad is? Please don’t do that- only sleep with people you trust. Please.”
“I trust you.” 
The words tumble from your lips immediately, before you can even process your thoughts. You clasp your hand over your mouth, a small gasp leaving your lips as you gaze up at him in pure horror. 
Jungkook doesn’t know what to think- doesn’t even know if that was just a fragment of his imagination. He blinks at you, brain too fused to even conjure a proper response.
“Wait- I didn’t mean it like that!” you blurt out. At that moment, you give up on any attempt to salvage the situation and scurry out of the room, stumbling back down the stairs. 
Jungkook runs his hands over his face. 
He’s going to hell for the thoughts running through his mind.
Thank God you weren’t pregnant but after that night Jungkook just never looked at you as just a family friend. It’s complicated . It’s morally conflicting, and it frustrates Jungkook like nothing else.
“Hello?” he speaks into the phone
“I bled on my bed,” you sniffle into the phone, “Just please come upstairs,” you say before abruptly hanging up.
He begrudgingly rises from his bed. Though tired, he doesn’t hesitate to throw his black t-shirt over his head to look presentable for when he checks up on you.  Rubbing at his eyes with his knuckles, he shoves his hands into the pockets of his black sweats as he makes his way up the stairs. He gently opens the door to see you sitting idly under your covers, clinging onto your Snorlax plushie for dear life. You’re wearing 
He sits on the edge of your bed. “You ran out of pads?”
You don’t say anything, remaining stiff like an ice sculpture, not melting under Jungkook’s warm touch like you usually do.
He nods at you and gently tugs on your oversized T-shirt, urging you to get up as he sticks out his hand. “Change the sheets and I’ll go out and buy you some pads-“
“Jungkook, I'm in love with you.” 
Abrupt. 
Impulsive. 
Messy. 
But you feel like you just have to say it.  With a radiant glow on your rosy cheeks, you purse your lips in a demure manner, physically unable to look at him. You have to look at Snorlax to get your words out instead. 
You inhale deeply. “I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, and I’m sorry if it creeps you out but I’ve always had feelings for you- and I hate you for it because I don’t think I’ll ever have the capacity to love anyone else like I love you.” With glossy eyes you finally peer at him just to see an entirely indecipherable expression- you’re not sure if it conveys shock, bewilderment, or horror but it evokes the most unsettling and humiliating sensation in the pit of your stomach. 
Just as day transforms into night, humiliation morphs into anger, and anger morphs into nonsensicality. Outrage bubbles within you and you chuck the Snorlax plushie at his face. 
“Fuck you! How can you treat me the way you do and expect me not to feel anything?! I emotionally cheated on my ex with you! You’re the fucking worst and I hate you. I hate you so fucking much!” Your hands frantically search for every single squishmallow, plushie, and teddy bear you have and you violently chuck your beloved squishies at him.  From zero to one hundred, you’ve escalated rapidly and you feel like you’ll die if you don’t convey everything to him right now, in this moment. 
Jungkook remains stoic, somewhat resembling the statue of a Greek god: handsome and stagnant, not even flinching at the impact of your squishies hitting his built body or the way you nonsensically scream at him.
“This is all your fucking fault Jungkook. You ruined my life! You ruined love for me! I’ll never get a boyfriend, never get married, never have kids because of you! I’m going to die alone and it’ll be all your fucking fault! How could you do that to me? How could you do that to me?” You erupt into sobs, pushing your face into your hands as you violently cry. Snot, tears, and saliva leak from your face as the chagrin completely consumes you. 
“Y/N.” The sound of Jungkook’s deep, baritone voice is barely audible over the sounds of your heaving. 
“I’m sorry Y/N.” He does sound sorry, but you can’t help but question the authenticity of his words because he didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. It’s like he’s merely uttering an apology to appease you. 
But for Jungkook, he’ll apologize a million times if it helps dry your tears.  He never let his pride get in the way when it comes to you.
He sits at the edge of your bed, using his finger to tilt your chin up, revealing your disheveled, snotty, and glossy face. You whimper when your vision clears and focuses on him. 
He wipes your face with your own shirt, tugging up the hem to absorb your tears, still gentle and attentive. You swat his hand away. “You need to stop doing that,” you mewl, blinking more tears from your eyes. 
“You need to stop crying. It makes me sad,” he retorts, passing you the same Snorlax plushie you violently launched at him. You cushion the plushie on top of your thighs and bring your knees to your chest. You inhale and exhale deeply, trying to settle from your emotional high. 
“You don’t even take me seriously,” you mumble, peeking up at him. 
“I always take you seriously,” Jungkook responds, “but I want you to stop crying first-
“Jungkook, kiss me,” you breathe out, “If you don’t hate me, then kiss me,” you say, your eyes fluttering shut, delusionally- as if he was about to kiss you. Instead, you feel his large palm on your head, softly caressing your hair. 
“I’m not gonna kiss you. You should get some rest.” His voice is deep, calm, and composed. How can he be so normal when you’re on the brink of losing your mind?
Your face scrunches up in indignation before you erupt in tears once again, practically screaming. “Fuck you! I hate you! I hate you!”
“Y/N.” He calls your name repeatedly.
“Y/N-”
“Shut the fuck up you asshole!”
“Y/N,” his voice becomes more stern with everytime he calls your name, but you don’t let him get a word in. You keep screaming at him, calling him every name in the book of insults, shaking him off every time he goes near you.  
When he attempts to sit by you, you violently push him away. “Go away! I’m not a little kid anymore! I don’t fucking need you anymore! I’m gonna be single forever because of you! If you don’t want me to be single forever then just fucking leave and never come back!” 
You’re aware that your words are horrible, but the overwhelming sense of embarrassment and shame erupting in your system prevents any rational train of thoughts from developing in your mind. You’re embarrassed and devastated that Jungkook doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, and it sends you spiraling.
He attempts to calm you once more by sitting on your bed, but you push him even more violently. “Don’t fucking touch me! I’m never gonna find love because of you! Just fucking die, just leave forever if-”
He staggers on his feet, caught off balance from the force of your push, and for the first time in his life Jungkook yells at you.  
“Y/N!”
Giving you no time to say or think anything, he seats himself on your makeup chair, tattooed hand gripping onto its top rail. “Y/N,” he scowls deeply at you, features blanketed in exasperation,  “We’ll talk about this later, but you need to calm the fuck down. You’re hurting me when you talk like that.”
Your eyebrows furrow deeply in horror, your cheeks tear-stained and your eyes filled with sorrow. The haunting realization of what you just said settles into your system. Your quivering lips barely enunciate your words. “Kook, I’m so sorry,” you blubber out. “I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean it. I promise I didn’t mean it!” You shoot up, stumbling over your own feet and collapsing onto the floor. You’re a mess. Your face glistens with a layer of your own snot, and your hair is matted and tangled, the result of the countless times you tugged at it during this interaction. 
Unbeknownst to you, there's a red blotch near the lower hem of your T-shirt, and droplets of blood escape you and drip onto the floor as you stumble out of bed.  Jungkook notices though, eyebrows pinching in concern as a very disturbed expression morphs on his face when you collapse to your knees, your trembling hands holding onto him for support. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave. Please don’t leave. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it! It’s all my fucking fault!”
Jungkook doesn’t say anything. 
“I’m so sorry, Jungkook,” you sniffle. “I’m so sorry I said that. That was so horrible of me. Please don’t die. I’m so sorry.”
A sigh of vexation leaves his lips, but nonetheless he remains patient, compassionate towards  the devastation that consumes your face. “I’m not gonna die.” He cups your face with his tattooed hand, and uses his thumb to wipe the idle tears on your face.  “I forgive you. It’s okay.” 
“Promise? Promise it’s okay? I’m so sorry,” you cry even more, desperately latching onto his hands, using the side of his fingers to wipe your eyes.  
“It’s okay,” he confirms, tilting your head upwards before wiping your face with a makeup wipe from your vanity. “‘M really tired. I’m gonna go get your pads then I’ll be back. 
You sniffle. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” The smile he gives you is forced, and it makes you feel horrible.
He motions his head towards your bed. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when I come back.”
You tiredly listen to his words, getting under your covers and holding onto your Snorlax plush. “Good night Kook.”
“Night,” he says, somewhat emotionlessly, flickering the lights off and vacating your room. 
-
Horrible. You wake up with puffy eyes, infinite eye boogers, and an awful pit in your stomach. The memories of last night come flooding in and you immediately check your phone to see if Jungkook texted you. There’s nothing there. 
Why would he want to talk to you after what you did?
You decide to send him a text message to further emphasize how sorry you are. 
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You throw your phone on the bed and scream into the stomach of Snorlax. 
Dry. He’s being so fucking dry and it’s all your fault. 
The next few weeks are spent with you attempting to redeem yourself. 
-
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You have no idea why you’re in front of Jungkook’s work, let alone with a lunchbox cake in hand. Begrudgingly, you stumble inside the tall building, awkwardly smiling when you come face to face with the sweet old security man. Jungkook’s work place is fancy as hell. Every floor of the tower hosts the office of an aristocratic company. There are even enormous, airport-esque x-ray machines stationed towards the entrance. You have to walk through a metal detector to be granted access into the building.
“Why hello, young lady! What business do you have here today?” 
“Um, I have a cake for someone. H-he works at HYBE Tech Solutions.”
“Alright, go ahead and put your bag and belongings here,” he says, motioning towards the tray on the X-ray machine conveyor belt. You watch as your belongings pass through the machine and come out on the other end. Then, you step through the metal detector, holding your arms up to be properly inspected. You bid the security man goodbye and walk towards the elevator. 
An ominous feeling of stupidity washes over you as you press your fingers onto the elevator buttonsYou feel stupid. You feel dumb. You feel silly. You would never do this for a man, but here you are. 
You take a deep breath before you stumble in, coming face to face with the lady that works at the front desk. Your eyes settle on the badge on her blouse. Dorothy. You vaguely remember Jungkook ranting about this woman, venting about how she crossed professional and ethical boundaries-  often sneakily creeping her fingers up his chest while they spoke and even going as far as to dig into the company’s database for his personal information. 
You clear your throat. “Hi, how’s your day been?”
“I’m great! Thanks for asking, hun. How can I help you today?” She asks, voice bubbly and uplifting, perfect for customer service.  
“Oh! Um- I have something for Jungkook. He works in the tech department.”
Her bubbly and friendly atmosphere immediately diminishes, and she raises her eyebrows at you before eyeing you conspicuously. With a vacuous expression, she picks up the landline, pressing her thin fingers into the numbers. “Hey, can you let Jungkook know that there’s a child here for him?”
You purse your lips at that, rocking back and forth on your heels. You try to avoid eye contact with this woman by looking elsewhere- pupils frantically darting to the daisies on the front desk or  the grandfather clock that sits idly against the beige walls- but she’s persistently staring you down. 
Thank God Jungkook appears from the end of the hallway. 
He sports a light blue button up and brown slacks, a stack of papers in his tattooed hand while the other rakes through his short hair. He looks delicious as ever and clearly Dorothy agrees because she practically moans as he walks down the hallway.
“Y/N?” He narrows his eyes in your direction, confirming that it’s really you.
“Um hi Kook. I brought you something.” You use two hands to present the styrofoam box to him.
Jungkook’s eyes scan from the lunchbox to you. He places the stack of papers on the front desk before accepting the box and popping open its lid. “A cake?” he questions, and you nod shyly, fidgeting in place. 
“Thanks,” he plainly says, giving you an awkward smile before his eyes dart towards Dorothy, who is intensely scrutinizing the interaction. There is tension in the atmosphere, and Dorothy’s presence isn’t helping. 
He clears his throat. “You didn’t have to, you should be studying,” he says, his words a little more light-hearted this time.
You shake your head. “I wanted to do this for you. I’m sorry for last night, Koo.”
He stares at you before letting a sigh escape his lips. “t’s okay Y/N. Told you I‘m not mad. We’ll talk about this later.”
You twiddle with your fingers, your puppy eyes flickering towards him. 
“Hug?” he asks, cutting the tension, tilting his head while he holds his arms open. You pout, nodding before running into his arms. He holds you tight, and whispers into the top of your head so Dorothy wouldn’t catch heed of the conversation. “You made me sad last night, you know.”
“‘I’m sorry.”
“‘It's okay. I can never be mad at you for too long,” He subtly releases you from his embrace and pinches your cheek. “Now go home, okay?”
You take a step back and offer a nod. And for some reason, Jungkook feels that you’re looking at him as if you’ll never see him again. “Enjoy your cake.” 
Jungkook smiles back, waving you goodbye. You turn to the office lady, who quickly averts her eyes once you notice her blatant eavesdropping. “Thank you auntie. Have a nice day!”
Jungkook has to physically restrain himself from laughing.
-
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A heart emoji. Butterflies erupt in your stomach at his most insignificant actions.  You hold your phone to your chest and bite back a smile. 
Loud music booms and vibrates through the walls of this massive mansion. There’s a huge pool, complete with a waterslide and waterfalls spilling into the pool. You’re surrounded by tons of other like-minded college kids, clad in nothing but a white lace bikini. You’re able to acknowledge that it isn’t the most tasteful outfit, but you feel good and you look good. 
After jumping in the pool and violently pelting water balloons at each other (effectively scaring away all the hoes), you and Yunjin lie under a cabana mindlessly scrolling through your phones. You only look up from your phone when you sense Yunjin holding up her phone for a selfie. Jungkook would have rolled his eyes at the sight.
“Can I show you something?” you abruptly blurt out, eliciting a cynical look from your friend. “Is it bad?”
You immediately shake your head, composing your posture so you can properly show Yunjin your texts with Jungkook. Her eyes rapidly scan over the phone in moments and she shoots you a sly glance. 
“So do you think?-”
“I don’t know… but I really, really, really hope that it means something. I don’t want him to see me as a little kid anymore, you know?” Bashfully, you smile at her, your demure expression a complete juxtaposition to your practically naked figure. 
Yunjin cups your cheeks making your glossy lips pouty. “Y/N! You’re about to pull Jungkook!”
“I am?”
“Yes you are-”
Yunjin flinches dramatically when a harsh stream of water unexpectedly drenches you. You both whip your head to the culprit in question: Beomgyu standing directly in front of you with a massive water gun. 
“You bitch!” Yunjin shoots up and runs after him with you rapidly following your partner in crime’s lead. But as you’re running towards Beomgyu (who maniacally screams and dashes), another stream hits you from the back.
The second culprit. Soobin. You sprint towards, latching your claws onto his white T-shirt him while you tug him towards the pool. “Wait Y/N! I just dried off. I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” 
No mercy for this bitch.
You position yourself behind him, using your whole body to push him into the pool. Splash! You jump and squeal in excitement when he emerges from the water wiping his face with his hands. You laugh hysterically in his face, childishly pointing your finger at him, finding it even more hilarious when he gives you the stink eye. “That’s what you get, asshole!-“
You pause and shriek in horror.
Somebody just pulled on the strings of your bikini top, exposing your boobs to the entire party.
You instinctively crouch, shoving your chest into your knees.The gasp of horror that leaves Soobin’s lips mirrors yours, and he immediately springs into action, rapidly lifting himself from the pool and sprinting after whatever asshole just violated you.
“Y/N!” Your savior, Yeonjun appears in front of you, crouching to your level. He rapidly rids himself of his shirt and pulls it over your entire figure. “You’re good, you’re good,” he whispers calmly to you, trying to prevent you from having a full blown panic attack. You stand up reticently, folding your arms over your chest, eyes trained on the ground and only looking at Yeonjun’s feet to gauge which direction you’re heading in.
“You okay?” Yeonjun settles under the cabana. “That guy is such a dick,” he mutters to himself. 
You nod and sink into the cushion of the outdoor-couch. “I’m so fucking embarassed.”
Attempting to salvage the situation, Yeonjun immediately shakes his head. “No, no. Nobody saw anything.” You shoot him a skeptical look, knowing damn well everybody in the party saw your bare boobs. 
“Is that Jungkook?”
You immediately whip your head towards the left, and indeed Jungkook is walking your way. You can’t believe he’s real. All heads whip in his direction as he makes his way towards you. He flicks his head back to prevent hair from falling in front of his eyes, barefoot, black T-shirt, and gray shorts. He looks so handsome you can’t even comprehend it. 
“Y/N!” He shouts, quicklyducking under the roof of the cabana before he positions himself in front of you. He inhales and exhales deeply, the blistering sun forming particles of sweat on his forehead. 
You look up at him and your heart melts. The sheen of sweat on his face, the way his eyes fixate on you. Your heart skips a beat. You want to cry. Again. Out of embarrassment, and how emotional you become at Jungkook’s mere presence.   
You bury your head into your knees, making Jungkook's eyebrows pinch. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Yeonjun opens his mouth, hesitatingly glancing at you to confirm if telling Jungkook is okay.
You shoot up and practically catapult yourself onto Jungkook, latching onto him like a Koala. “Nothing happened,” you say, nuzzling your face into his shirt. “Come swim with me. Please.” 
Jungkook sighs, using his large palm to tame your frizzy stray hairs. “Y/N. We need to go home.”
You cock your head in confusion.“Wait why?”
His voice becomes oddly stern. “Y/N. It’s important and we have to go home.”
“To your place or mine?”
“My place. Just follow me.”
You haven’t a clue as to why Jungkook is behaving so urgently, but you follow him nonetheless. You pick up your purse and give Yeonjun a quick hug, running after Jungkook who cooly breezes past everyone, not a single person missing the hot guy who suddenly showed to the party. 
Jungkook opens his car door for you and allows you to step in. 
“Jungkook… is something going on?”
“Yes, there is,” he says grimacing slightly, shutting the door for you before he climbs into the driver’s seat. 
This nauseating anxiety bubbles inside you and sends chills up your spine, making you flinch when Jungkook closes the car door on his side. Jungkook doesn’t say anything, just looks behind his shoulder to reverse from his parking spot before zooming out of there. 
“Is this because of what happened the other night?” you ask, and he glances at you quickly. 
“No, it isn’t.”
“Well.. are we going to talk about it?” you push, twiddling with your fingers. 
Jungkook shakes his head, noticing your trembling fingers in his peripheral view. He reaches over and puts his hand on top of yours. “Not now.” 
You don’t respond, shifting in confusion.
“Here,” Jungkook starts, throwing his phone in your lap, “You can play whatever song you want.”
You purse your lips and silently nod. 
Sooner or later, you arrive at Jungkook’s apartments, and he leads you up the stairs and sits you on his black leather couch. 
He cups your face with both hands, caressing the apples of your cheek with his thumbs. With your eyebrows pinched, you peer into Jungkook’s eyes, conveying your confusion through your scrunched facial features. 
“Y/N, before I tell you what I want to tell you, I want you to take a few breaths. Just know that I’m always here for you.”
You nod steadily, pretty facial features still crinkled in confusion. 
“Y/N, your parents were in a car accident, and they didn’t make it.”
“What?”
And as the haunting realization settles into your system, all you can remember are your shrieks of terror echoing throughout his apartment and the way Jungkook holds you against his body while he wipes your tears and assuages your loud cries. 
-
The few days that proceed are a blur, but Jungkook takes care of you and is far more attentive than he ever has been. You cling onto him like fragile glass ornament hanging from a delicate thread- like he was all you had left because he was all you had left. He was your spring solace after a harsh winter, and the way he treated you indicated as much.
Jungkook works from home so you aren’t alone. For the entire day, you sit on his bed and watch him work. You eavesdrop on his meetings, falling asleep to the sound of his voice and whenever you wake up Jungkook ensures that he feeds you, constantly worried about your inability to eat. 
You’re queasy just thinking about going back to your house, so your daily and nightly attire consist of pieces from Jungkook’s wardrobe. You haven’t verbally acknowledged what has happened- not ready to talk about the death of your parents. You’re just trying to survive, and you feel like you’re barely making it. 
Thankfully, all your friends and family have been extremely helpful trying to get you through your grief. Jungkook’s mother stays with you for a few days, and after that Yunjin sleeps over with you for a few days- but you know that a piece of your heart has been ruthlessly ripped form you.
“Y/N, you need to take a shower,” Jungkook expresses, obstructing your view of the TV. His toothbrush hangs from his mouth, toothpaste residue bubbling around the perimeter of his lips. You owlishly blink at him, observing how his expression hardens at your look of indifference. 
You scoot towards the left end of the couch, hoping to get a clear view of Ever After High projected on his flat screen TV. 
“Y/N you haven’t showered in three days,” Jungkook interjects, “Please take a shower.”
“I will. Later.”
He pushes up his glasses, staring at you with intense disapproval. “Y/N,” he says sternly, trying to be gentle despite his qualms. 
You acquiesce, pouting at him. “Okay, fine. Later.”
His frown deepens. “Y/N.”
You chew on your bottom lip, deeply contemplating what Jungkook has asked of you. His large frame remains frozen in front of you. No matter how you position yourself on the couch, he renders you unable to watch the princesses prance around on the TV.
“Okay… but will you at least come with me? I don’t want to be without you.”
Jungkook pauses. 
“I don’t mean like getting in with me, but will you just sit on the toilet and talk to me?” You ask, sinking into the leather of his sofa and using your sweater paws to sweep your hair back. 
“Yea, I’ll do that.”
Once you step in the shower, you close the curtains, and strip yourself from your clothes, handing the pile of clothes to Jungkook. You turn on the water, yelping at the sensation on your body. Jungkook was right. You needed this and you kind of do smell like butthole. 
“Wait Y/N, do you want me to go to your house and get you underwear?” 
After folding up your (his) T-shirt and boxers, he notices that you haven’t been wearing any undergarments. 
“No!” you call back, “I don’t want you to go there! Not yet,” you call back. 
“Then do you want me to buy you some?” he responds, placing the folded clothes on the bathroom counter. 
“Um, maybe we can order some on Amazon.”
“Just send me the link and I’ll place the order.”
“Okay.”
A wave of silence washes over the bathroom, and you peek your head from the shower curtain to see what Jungkook’s up to: scrolling on Instagram. On his screen is some instagram model’s bikini pic, his fingers pausing on the screen so he can look at the photo.  
“Who is that?” you ask, making Jungkook jump in his seat. 
“What the- Y/N, just take your shower!” Jungkook feigns annoyance but can’t help himself but scoff in amusement at how petty you can be.
“Is she prettier than me?” you ask, glaring at Jungkook with disapproval. 
Jungkook purses his lips and tugs the shower curtain past your face and holds it against the wall, preventing you from peeking your pretty head past the curtain. He holds it there for a good minute, unfazed by the thrashing against the shower curtain. 
Swish. 
You swipe open the shower curtain from the other side. Your eyes bore into Jungkook’s and Jungkook thinks you’re foolish not to realize how alluring and sultry you are. Your bare body is akin to a sculpture of the goddess Aphrodite. Water drips from the crevices of your body and you gaze at him with anticipation etched onto your face. You’re just standing there, but your posture is so seductive- or maybe it’s just the natural curvature of your body. 
“Why don’t you join me?” your sweet voice makes his Adam's apple bob in his throat. 
When he doesn’t respond, your features morph into humiliation, regret consuming you. You nod your head. “Sorry Kook, I’ll just-”
“Y/N, you’re gorgeous. Any man can see how lovely you are. Honestly, you take my breath away every time I see you,” Sensing the trepidation on your face, he solidifies his claim, “I mean it Y/N. You’re beautiful, and I want to join you but I’m not going to. You’re hurting right now and I don’t want to do anything to take advantage of you.”
And he isn’t lying, he yearns for every kind of contact with you, but he’s not going to go through with this. Not when you’re traumatized from the death of your parents. Not when you’ve been so unhinged for the past week, refusing to even shower. 
You stare at him for a second, dazy eyed and your eyes darting around the room. “Okay Jungkook. I’m sorry.”
He smiles sweetly at you and gently closes the shower curtain. “It’s okay Y/N. I’m gonna head to my room. You’re welcome to come visit me anytime.”
-
Boys’ night. Jungkook being the handsome stud he is, happens to have friends that are also handsome studs. Jungkook offered to postpone boys’ night but you declined his attempts to make you more comfortable. Jungkook has exerted so much effort to take care of you. There’s no reason for him to forgo time with his best friends. Besides, you can always hide in your room. 
You crack your door open slightly ajar, peeking through the crack to spy on Jungkook and his friends. Antisocial is the perfect word to describe you. 
The sound of the doorbell ringing was your cue to lock yourself in your room. Jungkook knocked a few times, but you were too scared of other people that you didn’t even grace him with a response. 
Clearly Jungkook got the message because he opted to leave a greasy piece of pizza outside your door, sending you a quick text message about it.
You just wanted to scout the scene, see who was there. Mingyu, Taehyung, Jimin, and Namjoon. Soju bottles are scattered around the table, and there’s some music blaring from the TV. You’ve met everyone here a few times- they all know you, but you aren’t close with Jungkook’s friends like he is with your friends. 
“Oh Y/N! Come join us!” You freeze at Mingyu’s words, and all eyes in the room whip towards your direction.
 “Umm..” you close the door gently and leap into the safety of your bed.
You overhear their banter through the wooden door. “Hey! Why are you making little kids uncomfortable!” Jimin yells, slapping Mingyu on the neck. 
Your lip quivers, and you inhale deeply, gathering the courage to step outside of the room. You quickly put on deodorant, and step out stealthily, taking a seat next to Namjoon on the couch. No one seems to notice you, and you tap on his shoulder. Namjoon whips his head towards you, the confusion on his face melting into fondness. 
“Hi,” you squeak out, fiddling with your fingers. 
“Hi Y/N,” Namjoon greets, the kindness laced in his voice assuaging the trepidation bubbling on your inside. Jungkook’s red lava lamp  illuminates the room with shades of crimson, and your eyes flutter shut when a ray of light shines on your face. 
“Are you okay?” Namjoon inquires, holding his hand up to shield you from the light.  
“Yea, I’m fine,” you blink a few times. You don’t say anything, just awkwardly take a bite of your pizza while your eyes dart around the room. 
Namjoon doesn’t seem to know what to say to you either, so the two of you just sit and eat pizza in silence. For a moment, your eyes lock. You owlishly blink at him and he blinks at you for a good minute.  
But then, to your surprise, Namjoon sets his pizza down, opening his arms. Your features scrunch up, and you let yourself melt into his warm embrace, glossy tears rolling down your face. 
“I’m so sorry about what happened,” he expresses, gently caressing the back of your head with his palm. You sniffle. “t’s okay,” you sob, “but I’m so sad. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“You’ll get through this. We’re always here for you.”
His words invoke a tornado of intense feelings in your system, and your strong facade crumbles as you become vulnerable in Jungkook’s friend’s embrace. By this point, everyone has noticed your presence, and suddenly the night becomes about you. 
After wiping your tears with the back of your hand, you find yourself sitting in between Jungkook and Namjoon in a “friendship circle”. It’s quite cute that these grown men still sit criss-cross applesauce in a circle, but you’re overjoyed that you’re welcome to the group. 
“I brought you a cake Y/N,” Taehyung announces, handing you a lunchbox cake. With your doe eye, you look towards him before opening the lid of the cake. A lunchbox cake with Snorlax’s face iced on the top.  “Jungkook mentioned that you really liked Pokemon, so I thought you’d find this cute,” he continues, slightly trailing off.  You’re Strong! Is what it reads, and you fall into pieces, your features crumpling up before you burst into tears. 
Jungkook laughs in fondness at the vulnerability of your reaction, wrapping a single arm around your frame. 
“Th-thank you,” you sniffle, offering Taehyung a crooked smile. “Can we eat it together? I don’t want to get f-fat.”
At that, a chorus of no’s echo through the room, and you giggle a bit. 
Your heart is incredibly full. Family. Friends. People who care about you. This is something your soul desires, something your soul needs. 
The night meets its unfortunate end, and you stand in front of Jungkook as you bid his friends goodbye. Before the boys walk away, you find your fingers clinging onto the hem of Jimin’s oversized shirt. Before he ventures off, he turns around and graces you with an endearing look of confusion. “What’s up?”
“Can I come with you?” you spout. 
“You want to sleep over at our place?” Jimin questions, gingerly scratching the back of his head. 
You shake your head steadily, “I just want to talk to you,” you clarify, gazing up at him shyly. Jimin’s eyes dart towards Jungkook’s for approval and Jungkook nods his head. “Go ahead. I’ll give you guys privacy,” he pinches your cheek affectionately before closing the door. You stand on your tiptoes, peeking through the window of the apartment to ensure that Jungkook isn’t eavesdropping. 
Jimin leans against the railings, observing you carefully. 
You tug on the hem of Jimin’s tee, urging him to follow you to the lobby of Jungkook’s apartment. He follows in your stead, not questioning you until your actions pause. You shift around uncomfortably for a bit, and you look up at him. Taking a deep breath, you find the courage to ask him the question that’s been lingering in the back of your mind. 
 “Do you think Jungkook and I could ever.. be a thing?” you finally question, shifting your weight between your feet, a crimson sheen sweeping over your cheeks. 
Jimin’s eyebrows pinch, and he repeatedly opens and closes his mouth, looking for the right words to say. “Like romantically?”
Your eyes cumbersomely drift towards the painting behind Jimin. “Y-yea. I really like him, and I want him to be my boyfriend- and I know he’s attracted to me but won’t act on his feelings because of his ethical qualms,” you stutter out, pursing your lips after seeing how Jimin’s face morphs into astonishment. 
“Well, I don’t think Jungkook is seeing anyone right now- but Y/N, if I’m going to be totally honest, I don’t think you and Jungkook being a romantic pair would be appropriate. I mean, he’s known you since you were a kid. Even if he does like you, I don’t think he would cross those boundaries.” he very gently explains, meticulously finding the correct wording to not hurt your feelings. 
You bite your lip bitterly, sinking into the realization of his assertion. “Yea, you’re right. I don’t know. I guess it’s just a stupid crush,” you dismiss your confession with a wave and offer Jimin a shy smile. 
Jimin pouts at your invalidation of your own feelings. “Don’t say that. I know you’ll find someone who cherishes and loves you. Someone you deserve,” he asserts. You smile at him, nodding before he ruffles your hair and leads you back up the stairs. 
Someone you love. 
Would you ever find it in yourself to love anybody that wasn’t him? Jungkook has successfully monopolized your heart, your soul, your very being. 
Ping!
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-
Tonguing his cheek, Jungkook impatiently and abruptly brakes at a red light, accelerating rapidly when the light turns green. He changes from his casual clothes to a black sleeveless shirt, loose leather pants, and a beanie. Mingyu sits on the passenger seat, frantically typing on his laptop as Jungkook zooms down the highway at record pace. 
Breaking into a frat house to terrorize some dumb college kids definitely wasn’t a part of the plan tonight, but Jungkook was down for some last minute terrorism.
“So what are you gonna do? Threaten the kid? Call the cops?”Taehyung questions from the backseat, both hands gripping on the headrest of Mingyu and Jungkook’s seats. 
“Look, I’m really trying to not sound corny, but I’m going to torture him,” Jungkook enunciates, which evokes a few seconds of silence. 
“This bitch-”
“He’s lost his fucking mind,” Mingyu mumbles. 
Jungkook laughs to himself, amused by the comments of his friends. Jungkook is an intelligent, rational person. Normally, he wouldn’t take it this far but he deems it extremely necessary for this particular situation. 
“What the- now he’s creepily laughing to himself-”
“If we tell Y/N about this she’s going to be scared of you,” Mingyu abruptly comments, shooting Jungkook a pointed look. 
Jungkook pauses, seemingly deeply considering the utterance of his friend, toying with his lip ring for a while he finally makes a comment. “I won’t do anything bad. I’ll just intimidate him a little.”
His friends sigh, not pressing further on the matter because Mingyu and Taehyung were pissed off too. Instead, Mingyu rolls down the windows of the car, allowing the breeze of the cool night to consume the interior of the car. 
Jungkook considers this very night a milestone in your healing process. You isolated yourself in his apartment for two consecutive weeks, your grief severely limiting your social capacity and ability to normally interact with people. His friends were privy to your situation, purposely not coming to Jungkook’s home out of respect for you. But tonight, the color that reappeared in your aura overwhelmed his heart with joy.
While you were on the couch, talking to Namjoon about something, Jungkook got an alarming text from one of your friends- Yeonjun. Jungkook is cool with your friends, but not close enough to be sending private text messages, so his eyes brows pinch in concern when he sees the notification pop up from his phone. 
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Mingyu’s eyes drifted towards Jungkook, who was noticeably brimming with indignation. Jungkook scoffed to himself, a macabre smirk on his lips before he laughed erratically at the message. He repeatedly wiped his face with his hand, chuckling in amusement. Jungkook discreetly passed his phone to Mingyu without a word, with Taehyung looking over his shoulder, both of them gasping at the message.
This whole time, you were oblivious to the scheme Jungkook was contriving and Jungkook intended to keep it that way. You were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, and Jungkook would cut his limbs off to lessen that burden. The indignation and resentment bubbling within him threatens to erupt because he’s so fucking pissed off. 
You’re everything to him, and the thought of you being violated makes him want to indulge in his violent impulses.  He can’t imagine how you would feel knowing that video spread around, and usually he would confide with you about these things but right now he needs to sweep this under the rug and make sure it never comes back up. 
Luckily, he and Mingyu both have degrees in computer engineering and know how to hack into technical infrastructures. 
Jungkook pulls up to the frat house, rolling the window down steadily before he rests his elbow on the ledge of the window. He sits there for a second, toying with his lip ring while his eyes bore into the interior of the house. He’s sure he looks creepy as hell- just staring into the house.
After a few minutes of waiting in silence, some guy arises from the house and approaches the car. 
Jungkook keeps his lips sealed until he’s close enough to perceive his features. 
“Uh is there something yall need?” the guy asks, innocently scratching the back of his head. 
“Yea,” Jungkook responds, voice firm and somewhat chilling, “Your name Josh?”
“Yea? What’s up-”
Jungkook kicks the door open, knocking Josh over until he’s rolled on the floor, clutching his leg as he shrieks in pain. 
“Oh shit, are we really doing this?” Taehyung mutters before joining Jungkook outside the car. 
Jungkook sits on top of Josh, continuously punching the shit out of him before he spits on the kid’s face. He uses a single hand to lift him by the collar, and violently pushes him against the car. “You mad Y/N rejected you? So you pulled that shit?” Jungkook menaces, his face centimeters away from Josh’s. 
Josh whimpers, crying- too horrified to coherently respond. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he pleads, tears and snot streaming down his ugly face. 
“Shut the fuck up!” Jungkook repeatedly bangs Josh against the car. “I’m gonna say this shit once and I’m not going to repeat myself,” he seethes, satisfied by the way Josh whimpers and nods his head pathetically. 
“You’re not shit. You’ll never ever be good enough for Y/N. You’re the same as the shit on the bottom of my shoe,” he breathes against Josh’s face, who whimpers and cries, “If I ever see you messing with Y/N ever again- I will ruin your whole life.”
Josh nods, unable to do anything else. 
“Got it?” Jungkook seethes, pushing Josh’s head against the car door.
“Got it!”
“Good. We’re going inside, and you guys are going to watch us go through all of your iClouds, and we’re going to delete every single copy of the video there is, alright?”
“Yes! Yes! That’s fine! I’m sorry!”
Jungkook scoffs in amusement at his despicable demeanor, before he throws Josh on the ground and enters the house. 
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Mingyu mumbles, following Jungkook’s lead into the house.
-
You anxiously wait for Jungkook to return home, absentmindedly toying with the Switch to distract from the hysterical thoughts frantically racing through your mind. You’ve done everything you could to distract yourself, your restless heart aching to do something of substance.
 You’ve been isolating yourself from society for the past month simply because you can’t bring yourself to leave Jungkook’s home, as if it was your safe haven. 
You dread the moment you have to return to your home, memories of your family coming to mind. You’ve been trying to avoid thinking about everything, and you reckon that it’s time to process everything. There are aspects of grief that you find unfathomable- questions you have that make you want to throw up. 
What will happen to the home that holds the memories of your family within its walls? How will you assimilate back into society without your father, without your mother? You’re not confident that it will ever be the same, and your heart sinks into your stomach at the notion- but you have to be resilient; you have to face it. 
It feels worse to avoid the reality of your life than to face it head on. 
You’re pulled from your thoughts by the sound of the doorknob turning. 
“Jungkook!” The way you call his name is breathless, and his eyebrows pinch in concern when you pounce on him. Nonetheless, he allows you to nuzzle into his embrace and he soothingly rubs your back- like he always does. 
“Wasn’t gone that long,” Jungkook absentmindedly comments. 
“I know- just missed you. I’m sorry for being clingy,” you murmur, to which Jungkook shakes his head at the absurdity of your words. 
“Not at all. Stay here for as long as you want. I’ll take you with me wherever I go,” he adds, settling into the leather of his sofa. You shuffle after him like a cute little penguin, sitting your ass directly next to Jungkook despite the vacant empty space on your right side. 
“Then am I allowed to sit next to you?” 
Jungkook’s features crinkle up in amusement, nose scrunching as he laughs lightly at how cute you are. He pinches your cheek, “It’s one thousand dollars for every minute you’re within a five foot radius of me,” he comments, tone stoic and firm. 
He doesn’t have to look in your direction to visualize the way your pretty lips fall open, swatting at his bicep for his cruel words. “Jungkook, I don’t have that money! You know I only have 35 cents in my bank account!”
“Okay, then go sit over there,” Your eyes follow the trail of his pointed finger, the corner of the room. 
“Fine! You fucking asshole,” you mutter bitterly, jumping up from the couch and stomping away with a hmph, until Jungkook slyly wraps his hand around the circumference of your wrist and pulls you to him. You collapse onto the couch, your back against his chest, and your butt between his legs. 
He clings onto you, almost suffocating you with the way he wraps his arms around you, grabbing his elbows as he locks his arms over your head. “‘M just kidding- you know that. I can’t survive without my baby either, y’know?”
Your chest erupts with butterflies, and you hold onto his forearm with both of your hands. “I know.”
-
The next day, you return to school. Your professors were so empathetic and understanding to the nuance and confusion of your situation, allowing you to complete your coursework from the comfort of Jungkook’s home. 
Grief isn’t a linear process. Though you’ve found it in you to return to school, it’s the mundane and the typical that you’re becoming increasingly bothered by. 
No one in your Philosophy class is paying attention to this movie, clearly. You can tell by the lit up screens scattered within the clusters of students, and you aren’t diligent enough to not be one of those students, doodling flowers and Snorlax’s on your paper. 
For the second you do look up at the movie, your heart stops. It’s always the most mundane, irrelevant details that get to you. The scene barely occupies a minute and it makes your chest tighten in the worst way possible. 
The main character walks down the wedding aisle, her arm linked with her father’s. The haunting realization settles in your system- you will never ever experience that. You begin hyperventilating, your hand crumpling the paper, and you quickly rest your forearms on the table before shoving your face into your forearms. People are already looking at you and you can’t fathom the humiliation so you stay like that until class is dismissed. 
You finally lift your head, rubbing your eyes to adjust the blinding ceiling lights. 
“Hey, are you okay?”
You shriek at the unexpected voice and whip your head to the left. 
“Hey hey hey- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he breathes out, rolling his chair towards you before rolling back so as to not scare you further. 
“No no, you’re good,” you breathe out, inhaling and exhaling to bring you down from your petrified high. “Just having a shitty day,” you explain, sweeping away the hair dried to your face by your tears. 
He seems to be unable to conjure a proper response, peering at you with an empty gaze and you sink in your seat, feeling the need to further explain yourself. “Well there was that part in the movie where Emma got married, and that made me feel horrible because I recently lost my dad.. And my mom.”
“Wait, I’m sorry. You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” he articulates, “I just noticed you  haven’t been in class for a while and was kinda worried when I saw you crying. I’m sorry if I pushed your boundaries.”
“You know me?”
His lips tug up in embarrassment as he gingerly scratches the back of his neck. “Well we usually sit next to each other so I thought we formed an acquaintanceship or something,” he mumbles. 
“Oh I’m sorry,” you pout at him, “I usually tap out during class so I never noticed you. What’s your name by the way?” You shyly stick out your hand, and he gives you a straight lined smile before shaking your hand gently. 
“Sunghoon. I-I’m really sorry for your loss by the way,” he adds, and you find his nervousness quite endearing. You shyly smile at him, and he gazes back at you with similar amity. He ever so softly pulls your wrist towards his and scribbles his number onto your forearm. “Feel free to text me if you ever need help with homework. You missed a lot of school,” he offers, and you find yourself giggling at his forth forwardness. 
“Thanks Sunghoon."
-
When  Jungkook returns from work that night, the first thing he’s met with is you shoving your boots on, seemingly ready for a vivacious night out. Your figure is adorned with a white satin slip on dress, and your hair is put up in an elegant updo. Jungkook pauses, eyes settling on your figure before scanning up to your face; he thinks this is the first time he’s seen you with makeup on since he wiped away the mascara running down your cheeks the day he broke the news.
“Hey daddy,” you purr, “Where have you been? The kids have been waiting for you,” you giggle, sliding your mini purse down your arm. 
Jungkook narrows his eyes at you, humorously scoffing at your corny choice of words. 
You giggle, skipping towards him before jumping onto him, latching around his neck before you whisper in his ear. “‘m going out with my friends, don’t wait for me to get home because I might stay the night with Yunjin.”
Jungkook stiffens, remaining frozen while you back up from him. 
“So, do I look like an angel, or what?”
“Always look cute,” because despite the infesting irritation bubbling in his system, he would never not tell you how it is. You are cute, always cute, always like an angel. 
“Thanks,” you giggle, skipping towards the door but before you can skip past him, he latches onto your wrist. “Wait.”
You tilt your head, slightly confused. “I bought something for you.”
He digs in his backpack and pulls it out. Nipple pasties. “You never wear a bra, so I thought you’d be safer if you put these on before you go out.”
“You were the one who said I had small tits!”
“Okay, well you still have nipples- so at least put these on to keep you safe.”
You narrow your eyes at him, but he doesn’t back down. You snatch the pasties from his hand and march into the bathroom. “Fine!” 
Jungkook lounges on the couch, eyes trained on you before you bid him goodbye and skip out of his apartment. He inhales deeply to settle the erratic palpitations in his chest. He needs to stop being so protective of you. 
-
Your arms linked with Yunjin, you skip around from one club to the next, dancing and partying your little hearts out. When the night comes to a close you prance to the local ramen shop around your campus. From a distance, you can already make out Jungkook casually speaking with his friends. He’s always so animated when he’s with his friends, dramatically gesturing and hip thrusting in the air while his friends laugh at his immature jokes. He’s got a cigarette between his pointer and middle finger, taking slow puffs, allowing the smoke to fill his lungs before he tilts his head to exhale a long plume of smoke into the atmosphere. 
That’s right. Jungkook smokes occasionally but never lets you do it. What a hypocrite. 
His eyes drift off for a second until they land on you, and his lips curl up in your presence. 
“Well look, if it isn’t my favorite girl,” he teases, letting out low laughter at the way you crimson when all his friends’ heads whip in your direction. 
You narrow your eyes at him, giving him a dirty look that Jungkook cooes at. Even when you were trying to intimidate him you akin to a cute Snorlax, so adorable, eyebrows pinched and lips pouted- how could he feel anything but adoration at that? 
“Aw angel,” he jests, throwing your words right back at you, “Don’t ignore me, ‘m sorry for teasing you,” he catches you as you walk past him, pulling you towards his chest before resting his chin on top of your head. 
He casually smiles at Yunjin. “How’s my angel been doing? Has she been behaving?”
Yunjin’s jaw drops at the bold statement and you attempt to wrestle out of his firm embrace to berate him. 
Just kidding. It’s getting late, though. Do you girls need a ride home?” he asks, finally letting you go just for you to stumble out of his grip and almost land on your face, but luckily Jungkook pulls your shoulders back without even looking in your direction. 
“Jungkook, it’s literally 10,” you deadpan. 
“Oh c’mon, I don’t want you girls to get kidnapped or something,” he snarkily responds. 
“How about you give us some money instead?” Yunjin jests, clearly joking, but Jungkook takes it so, so seriously. He raises a brow at both of you. “How much do you need?”
“Wait no- I was kidding,” Yunjin quickly clarifies, her ears becoming slightly red, “you don’t have to..”
Jungkook looks from you to her, then back at you before whipping out his phone, taking another puff of his cigarette before blowing the smoke upwards, careful so you don’t inhale any smoke.
Ping!
Your eyebrows pinch in confusion when you get a notification, and you unzip your mini purse to grab your phone, allowing the screenlight to illuminate your pretty features.  
JEON JUNGKOOK HAS TRANSFERRED YOU 500 DOLLARS VIA HYBETRANSFER.
“250 each, alright?” Jungkook laughs, taking another puff of his cigarette before he saunters off, his friends pushing him around and teasing him. 
“Ayo, when did Jeon turn into a sugar daddy?”
You and Yunjin are left dumbfounded, even more so when Jungkook turns around and makes kissy lips at you. 
You fall to your knees. 
-
The next morning is the weekend.
You absentmindedly chomp on your cereal, eyes still crusty and mind still hazy from the morning daze. Jungkook arises from his bedroom, hair still messy and sticking out in various directions- but he still looks as handsome as ever, the tired and morning glow suiting him wondrously. 
“So, I’m planning a trip with my friends at the beach. We’ll stay in an AirBnb. You wanna come with?”
You pause, features crinkling up in confusion. “Which friends? The ones from last night or Mingyu and them?”
“Mingyu, Tae, Jimin, Namjoon,” he counts off, before shrugging, “I already planned to take you with me so it’s not like you have a choice anyways.”
You scoff to yourself in amusement. “Aren’t you being too forceful?”
Jungkook narrows his eyes and graces you with a look of skepticism. “So you don’t want to go? or..”
“No!” you rapidly interject as you shoot up, clearing your throat and regaining your composure at the way Jungkook smirks at you. 
You settle back into your seat. “I do want to go,” you exhale, “but do I have to pay for my own room or something? I’m broke.”
“Oh, I was just gonna have you stay in my room,” Jungkook responds, trailing off as he tries to detect any trace of apprehension on your features, “Is that alright with you?”
You don’t even realize you’re holding your breath until you breathlessly exhale. “That’s perfect.”
So that’s how you found yourself at the beach, in nothing but your black bikini, prancing around the waves with Taehyung.
“Jungkook watch!” you call as you swivel around towards Jungkook, who’s applying sunscreen to his legs, not really paying attention to what you were doing. 
You stand in front of the upcoming wave, holding your arms out as if you were going to embrace the wave. “I’m going to stand against the wave!”
At that, Jungkook whips his head upwards, eyebrows pinching in worry as he shoots up. “Tae! Get her! She’s gonna get swept in by-“
And on cue, the wave collapses over you and you tumble into the unwelcoming water. “Motherfuck-“ You thrash and scream, powerless against the unforgiving currents until a pair strong arms pull you from your armpits and drags you to the sand.
“Holy shit Y/N, are you alright?” Taehyung asks, crouching beside you as he pats your back, allowing you to cough the water up.
“Y/N that was so dumb,” you hear Jungkook’s voice as he approaches you, crouching beside you as he hands you his black steel water bottle. “Take a sip,” he urges, and you nod shakily, grasping the bottle with both hands before you take a sip from it.
“I’m okay. Thanks for saving me Taehyung,” you smile at him and he releases a sigh of relief. “You scared the shit out of us!”
You gulp down the water and close the cap, returning his bottle to him. “Sorry, I won’t do that again, but can we get back to playing now?” you smile as you playfully fling a ball of wet sand at Jungkook.
Jungkook closes his eyes on impact, scoffing in amusement before he grabs you by your legs, signalling  Taehyung to grab your arms before they both lift you and run into the ocean.
-
Jungkook waits outside your shared room, knuckles softly knocking on the wooden door. A towel loosely wrapped around his lower waist, water drips from every crevice on his body, but he can’t enter until you’re done changing.
“Oki! I’m done!” you call out, opening the door for him, a towel in your hand as you use it to scrunch up your damp hair. 
“Wow. You’re really muscular,” you giggle, fingers hovering over his abs before you look up at him for approval to feel, to which he gently pushes your head aside and waltzes into the room.
When he’s done changing he beckons you back to the room, and you plop in the king sized bed, belly down and legs swinging back and forth in the air. 
Jungkook lies down beside you, resting his head on the pillow as he scrolls aimlessly on his phone, only looking over when he hears your ringtone go off.
You answer the call almost immediately.
“Oh hey Sunghoon!” you greet, shooting up from the bed to touch up your appearance in the facetime camera.
Sunghoon. Jungkook knows all your friends and he hasn’t heard that name before.
“Hey Y/N, how’s your vacation going?” Sunghoon asks, and you take a seat at the desk, propping your phone up against the wall. You twirl an idle piece of hair around your fingers. “It’s really fun here, I feel great,” you explain, “so what’s up?”
“You look like you’re having fun- wait, is there someone in the room with you?”
You rapidly turn around and look at Jungkook, then tilt your phone at an angle where he isn’t visible. “Oh, he’s just a family friend, do you want me to go somewhere more private?”
“Oh no that’s cool, I was just wondering but I called to ask you about the homework…”
A family friend? Jungkook scowls at that. Wordlessly, he breezes past you and exits the room, closing the door and sits next to Jimin on the couch. 
Jimin takes a few moments to acknowledge Jungkook’s presence. “Hey, is there anything going on between you and Y/N?” Jimin finally asks, eyebrows furrowing in concern when he perceives Jungkook’s sour face. 
Jungkook pauses. “Why are you asking?”
Jimin shrugs. “I don’t know. Don’t you know she has a crush on you? Isn’t it inappropriate for you two to be sharing a room?” Jimin continues, nudging Jungkook with his elbow. 
At that, Jungkook buries his face into his palms. He’s let this go on for far too long. “I know,” Jungkook murmurs, voice projection muffled by his hands. 
“You know? The other day she asked me if it was possible between you two and I straight up told her that you wouldn’t go for it.”
Jungkook remains wordless at that, and he thinks he’s developed an idea of the reality of the situation. 
Jungkook was too scared to address the subject with you; he let it linger for far too long. He didn’t want to burden you with anything else besides what you already had on your plate, and you got in your head about it. He never explicitly stated that he more than reciprocates your feelings, leaving you dangling on a string. 
He’s going to fix that. 
“No Jimin, that’s not it,” Jungkook clarifies, wiping his face with his palms. “I like her too, and I’m going to tell her tonight,” he states firmly, slightly craning his head to gauge Jimin’s reaction. His reaction isn’t what Jungkook expected. Instead of a look of concern, worry, or horror, Jimin looks over the moon. 
“Well shit! I wish I knew that before! You guys look perfect together!” he exclaims before eagerly patting Jungkook on the back. 
Jungkook raises his eyebrows at his friend. “Really? Don't you think I should wait a little longer? Until she's ready?”, to which Jimin simply shakes his head.
“Y/N's an adult. She can handle herself. I thought you wouldn't go for it because of the age gap, though. I guess I shouldn't have told her that," he says gingerly, scratching the back of his head. ”Sorry Kook."
Jungkook doesn't say anything, seemingly in deep contemplation. "It used to bother me,” Jungkook clarifies, "but it doesn't anymore."
“So what’s wrong with it?"
That’s right. There is nothing wrong with it.
-
A cool night on the beach. You feel the cool breeze through your air, the lunar radiance of the moon illuminating the beach. You’re adorned in a lovely, summer-esque two piece set with floral patterns running along the fabric, The top piece is cropped and strapless, exposing your collar bones and belly button piercing, and the bottom piece is a long, flowy skirt that blows marvelously against the wind. 
You gingerly step outside the beach house, enjoying the cool sensation of the night breeze. The guys are all hanging out in the yard, soju bottles and beer cans scattered on the wooden benches positioned on the beach. Namjoon and Jimin are posted up on the benches, chowing down on meat whilst engaging in pretty animated conversation. You spot Mingyu and Taehyung running around the beach, slapping each other and chasing after each other, their dirty heels slipping against the coarse sand. 
Jungkook is stationed at the grill, frying meat for his friends. His tall and built figure is concealed by his loose black T-shirt and black sweat shorts that you have worn a few times during your extended stay at his place. 
You creep up behind him, swiping away the stray hairs that the wind blew into your face. Tapping him lightly on the back, you coyly skmile at him, a bashful glow illuminating your face. 
Jungkook sensed your presence the moment stepped foot from the house, but still acts like it’s the first time he’s ever seen you. He does a double take, eyes scanning up and down your face and body- you look so lovely and elegant in your little two piece set. “Hey,” Jungkook finally returns your greeting, a little breathless. 
“Can I have some?” you ask, pointing to the grill. 
“Uh yea, I actually made a plate for you a second ago,” Jungkook takes the prepared plate of your favorite meats, but pauses before he hands it to you. He hasn’t a clue if you’re doing this on purpose, but you’re looking at him with the sultriest of eyes, and it drives him crazy. His Adam’s Apple bobs in his throat, and he collects himself before handing you the plate. 
You tilt your head, sending him a look of confusion at his hesitance, but Jungkook sees it as a gateway to talk to you. “Y/N, can we talk? Like now?” Jungkook asks, rubbing at the nape of his neck. 
“Sure, what about?” you solicit, setting the plate on the table.
Jungkook immediately shoves his hands in his pockets, and motions his head towards the beach, obliging you to follow him. “About what you told me at your house..” he trails off, “that one time in the middle of the night,” he adds. 
He perceives the way your features morph into embarrassment, so he decides to take the lead on this conversation. He approaches you, standing beside you momentarily before smoothly lacing his fingers through yours. “Let’s go.”
Unable to conjure a proper response, you follow his footsteps in silence until your bodies appear as distant figures by the ocean. With your toes kissing the water washing up on shore, he turns back to look at you, fingers still intertwined. But you stop him before he can open his mouth. 
“Wait- Jungkook. Let me explain myself first,” you begin, thankful that the night sky conceals the obvious bashful glow on your cheeks. 
Jungkook who is seemingly expressionless nods his head, signaling you to let your words out. 
You gently pull your hand from his, twiddling with your fingers before you can speak. “Firstly, I just wanna apologize.. to you,” you begin, ignoring the way his nose scrunches in confusion, “I feel like you’ve been so good to me- you always take care of me. Your family is the only family I have left,” you continue, bashfully tucking an idle strand of hair behind your ear. 
“So I’m sorry for forcing myself on you, and I’m sorry for mistaking your care towards me as romantic affection,” you continue, subconsciously gesticulating with your hands. “I know you said you don’t like it when girls are clingy but I’ve been nothing but clingy, and you still take care of me and care about me.” Your words are passionate, and they’re true. “Everyone told me that a relationship with you would be inappropriate.. but I was too persistent and too selfish. I’m so sorry Kook. You must’ve been so shocked when I yelled at you and when I.. opened that shower curtain,” you finish, shaking your head in embarrassment. 
When you finally complete the sentiment, you tilt your head upwards to gauge his reaction. His eyebrows pinch in confusion, and his mouth is slightly agape. “What?” he asks breathlessly, eyebrows pinching even further. He runs a tired hand over his face. “Y/N- just- I can’t believe you said that. Y/N, I love you. And I don’t care if you’re clingy, and I don’t care what anybody else thinks of us.”
You gasp at his words, a profound sense of emotion absolutely overwhelming you.
“What I care about is what you think of me, and whether you’re happy,” His fingers find yours, and he holds your hand and looks right into your eyes to properly convey his sincerity. “Y/N, I’m so sorry for not telling you sooner. You were just going through so much shit and I didn’t know if you were in the right headspace or if you were even serious about how you felt for me-”
He stops when you yank your hands away from him, using the back of your hands to wipe the tears streaming down your face. The shapes of his eyes turn into little crescents, petrified at your reactions. He removes your hands from your face, holding your wrists. 
“Y/N, don’t cry. Please say something.”
“Jungkook, it’s too late. I-I don’t think I can do this- with you- I mean,” is all you’re able to say and Jungkook’s chest tightens impossibly.
His heart drops to your stomach, a crestfallen expression morphing onto his handsome features. “I-is that how you really feel?”
Another tear streams down your face and Jungkook itches to wipe it but suppresses that urge.
“I love you Jungkook. I do. I really do!” you cry out, “But I can’t date you, ever. I never want to lose you,” you sob between sniffles. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m sure of it!”
The situation is bitterly ironic. Jungkook spent months tiptoeing around his feelings, your feelings, because he wanted to ensure he was what you wanted. Even when you blatantly threw yourself at him, he made the conscious decision to not pursue you. He spent months deciding your feelings for you- and now you’re telling him you don’t want him and he can’t do anything but accept it. 
“Y/N, you’ll never lose me. I’ll always be here. Even if you change your mind.. I’ll always be here.”
“Jungkook, I lost my whole family. You’re all I have left,” you explain, trailing off a little bit, “If I lose you then I have nobody.”
“No, I swear- Y/N, you’re it for me, and I mean it.”
You sniffle, wiping your cheeks, eyes, and nose once more. “What- hiccup- does that mean?”
“It means… whatever you want it to mean,” he concludes. 
“Jungkook…” you trail off, “Don’t wait for me. If you find a girl you like, then you should go for her. All I want is for you to be happy. It’s what you deserve,” you offer him a soft smile, a direct juxtaposition to your tear stained cheeks.
His chest tightens at that and he shakes his head. “You’ll always be my priority. Me? I’ve dated enough girls, I can be single for the rest of my life.”
You immediately swat his chest at the sentiment. “No, Jungkook. You should be with someone who takes care of you, not someone you have to take care of all the time. I’ll just always be your family friend who had a stupid crush on you in college.” Your attempt to lighten the atmosphere is futile and makes Jungkook’s scowl deepen. 
“You’re more than that to me. You’ll always be.” His hand latches onto yours, and you pull yourself from him. 
“No Jungkook.. I’ve made up my mind. I really don’t think we could ever…” When your voice breaks and more tears accumulate in your waterline, Jungkook stops you, not wanting to cause you any more pain. 
“I got it, Y/N. But just know I’ll always be here… in any way you’ll take me.”
READ PART 2 HERE
taglist: @babycandy111 @jk97bam @bellagrayson-wayne @honeeybunneey (can't be tagged), @talyaaas-blog , @jjeonjjk7 , @lovingkoalaface , @rvck0lover (can't be tagged), @kissyfacekoo , @dontcribuyabag (can't be tagged), @ash07128 , @cinnamonbambii , @jeon-ruby , @starlight-1010 , @hellbornsworld , @dodoneck, @papiibuprofen , @canyon-lwt , @appleh4ad , @screamertannie , @jeonjenny (can't be tagged), @ahgasegotarmy116 , @badaismygf (can't be tagged), @oopscoop , @gabsrecs , @hiii-priestess , @junniesoleilkth (can't be tagged) , @caro134340lina , @ellesalazar
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seongclb · 6 months
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LIKE A MAGNET ! sim jaeyun
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“you’ve called me a lot of things, sim jaeyun, but never have you called me a magnet.”
“not like that! i just meant, we’re not as alike as we think. kinda like a magnet..”
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SYNOPSIS. whereby your academic rival, jake sim, returns after spending a year in australia to come back and restore his place: as top physics student but also your (hopefully) boyfriend.
PAIRING. academic rivals to lovers, slight enemies to lovers, flirty!jake x fmr
GENRE. fluff, light angst.
WARNINGS. cursing, jake being flirty, kissing but not making out.
WORD COUNT. 7512 words
N. finally out yelp i think this is not as good as i wanted it to be but i have to post as promised so pls make sure to give feedback and stuff !! special thanks to mari for beta reading :) i love u pooks
TAGLIST. @sjyuns <3… @dollkis @taejaysmain @dear-hoon @oldjws @jjakey02 @luvistqrzzz @yizhoutv @mrchweeee @darly6n @hoonieluv @ghostiiess @jaeyunsonlyone @en-happiness @loumin908 @tasnim10 @rikisly @samyu01 @ashrocker123 @enhastolemyheart @enhaz1 @viagumi @articxari @vnsux @mersmoon @jungwonderz
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Kicking your shoes off, you step into your house as your mother frantically scours the house for her expensive china plates.
“Mum, what’s going on?” You wonder, looking around at the house and noticing how all your awards and family photos are out. You groaned, this only meant one thing - guests were coming today.
Great, you thought. After a tiring day with your best friends driving you mentally and physically insane, you now had to entertain guests in your own house when all you wanted to do was lay in the comforts of your bed.
“The Sims are back from Australia,” your Mum announces while pushing you up the stairs.
You pause as your heart plummets down your stomach, “What do you mean?”
Your mum chuckles, “The Sims! Don’t tell me you forgot about them already. It’s only been a year.”
“Mother, this has been the best year of my life. Why are they back? Wasn’t Mr Sim, like, settled in his new job? Why are they coming here of all places, too?”
Your mum narrows her eyes at you as your father steps into the room, struggling with his tie, “Ah, Y/n you’re home! You’d better go up and get dressed. The Sims are arriving soon.”
“So, I’ve heard,” you huff. “I know we’re family friends but shouldn’t they settle in their house first? Why are they coming here already?”
“Because,” your dad sighs. “Mr Sim and I have secured a business deal. We’re going to be partners in the firm soon, which is why they’re back. Of course, we have to welcome them with a nice meal.”
You groan and cross your arms, “Isn’t this something you discuss with your daughter first?”
Laughing, your dad pinches your cheek sweetly, “Now, why would this concern you? Go upstairs and get dressed, you must be hungry after practice today.”
It takes every fibre in your being to not stomp up the stairs in defiance. Sim Jaeyun, the cause of your distress throughout your entire school whole life was returning after a blissful year of peace. The mere thought of it made you want to rip every strand of hair out of your head.
Stepping into your room, your eyes immediately set on the expensive dress sitting on your bed that your mum laid out for you. Just as your parents requested, you hopped into the shower to prepare for the dreadful evening ahead. It’s not like you weren’t used to this; your parents worked in especially high fields and earned decent salaries. It was more than normal for them to have these important, yet over the top, dinners every few months meaning you had to dress up like this often. The only issue was him.
You could already hear his irritating giggles from your bedroom. Amazingly, they were the same as you had remembered.
Before you could even take a deep breath, there were soft knocks at your door, “Mum, I’m coming. Thirty seconds.”
There were the knocks again. Rolling your eyes, you swung your door open, ready to ask your mother why she couldn’t wait for thirty seconds, when you saw him leaning on the archway of the door. His lips were curled into that familiar smirk of his, yet Jake looked so different. His hair was much shorter, slicked back slightly but a strand of it falling onto his forehead.
It had only been a year, yet you were more than surprised to see Sim Jaeyun actually looking semi decent.
His eyes are playful as they rake over your figure, checking you out head to toe. The feeling of Jake’s eyes boring into you evoked a sense of insecurity to wash over. Since when did you care about him looking at you?
“Hurry up,” he ruffles your hair as he runs down the stairs. Forgetting about the annoying action he had just done, you pause for a moment; his words replaying in your mind. It seemed that Jake’s looks weren’t the only thing that was different but he had developed a strong Australian accent, too. It wasn’t attractive, though.
No, of course, not. That was impossible, being Jake Sim.
You fix your hair before following him into the living room where his parents are sitting on the couch in your living room.
Mrs Sim smiles at you as you greet her, “Y/n! You’ve grown so much.”
She engulfs you in a tight hug as you giggle, “No, I look the same. You look better than ever, of course.”
She shakes her head as she makes room for you on the couch, “Nonsense, you’ve gotten even prettier just like Jaeyun. He’s gotten so handsome now, right?”
You nod, sending an obvious fake smile towards his direction.
Jake clears his throat as he brings his glass of water to his lips, “Y/n, have you grown any taller since last year?”
You force a polite chuckle, despite wanting to throw your glass at the smile on his lips, “Maybe a few inches.”
Jake nods, pursing his lips to prevent a wider smile from breaking out, “I see.”
He sits opposite you at the dinner table, sending you winks every so often just to get a sneaky middle finger or a dirty look in return when no one was looking.
“Y/n, you’ll have to show Jaeyun around tomorrow,” Your dad says to you.
“I’m sure he knows where everythings been. It’s only been a year,” You smile.
Jake leans over, “I heard there were some changes. I’m afraid I might get late to some of my classes.”
You turn to Jake, “Oh, really? Who said that?”
“Sunghoon,” Jake smirks back at you.
You nod, of course he did. Sunghoon was the little provoker in your feud with Jake; always meddling to give Jake new ideas on how to annoy you. That was clearly one of his duties as Jake’s best friend since he had just given Jake another reason to irk you and follow you around tomorrow.
“So, why can’t he show you around?” You narrow your eyes.
Before Jake can answer, your dad interjects, “It’ll be better for you to do it, Y/n. I’m sure Sunghoon will have practice and other things tomorrow.”
The little shit was smiling way too hard, again. He just gets lucky too often.
The talk quickly turns into business amongst your parents, boring you completely so you use it as a perfect opportunity to excuse yourself to your room until your Mum says, “Why don’t you take Jaeyun to your room?”
Jake’s eyes grow as he smiles mischievously, “Yeah, you can show me what topics you have been covering in Physics. I don’t want to be behind.”
You take another deep breath, it got to the point where every breath now was slow and used to calm you down in order to stop you from lunging at the boy in front of you. He used every opportunity to get you to agree to yet another thing to help him with while your parents were around.
Jake followed you up to your room, standing at the doorway for a moment to look around your room at a different angle before stepping in and tracing his finger over all your trophies and pictures.
“Hey!” He calls, pointing at a particular picture of you with a trophy after winning the Science Fair competition. “We did this together, I’m in this photo. Did you crop me out?”
That day was quite fun, one of the only times that you and Jake had worked together rather than against one another, which was the usual dynamic. That occasion, your father had suggested for you two to work together. Even back then, it had created such dismay for you but you couldn’t deny that he was the reason why you two had won. You didn’t work well under pressured environments, so Jake had picked up the slack and presented most of it but you doubted that he did it for the sake of you. He definitely did it for the mere reason that he wanted to win.
You scoff at the pout on his lips as he picks up the frame, “Obviously. I’d get nightmares with a picture of you in my room.”
Jake touches the picture, a sigh of relief leaving his lips, “You didn’t cut it. You folded it.”
He dismantles the frame, unfolding the picture to reveal a younger version of him, “I was handsome back then, too. Keep it unfolded, you can use it for motivation.”
Fake gagging, you snatch the frame back from him and set it down, “I don’t need motivation. “So, how was Australia?”
Jake shrugs, playing with the Miffy plush that you cuddle to bed every night, “It was fun. Different from here. Better girls.”
You roll your eyes and respond sarcastically, “Sounds wonderful.”
“Jealous? Don’t worry, they didn’t compare to you,” Jake flirts.
“Ew!” Your face contorts in disgust. “Don’t make me throw you out of here, Jaeyun.”
He giggles and goes back to nosily touching all your things. You watch him in silence for a few more minutes, not minding Jake exploring your room. Jake’s parents call him from downstairs, initiating that it was time for him to finally leave.
“This new business deal means I’ll be seeing you more often than you’d like, angel.”
Your eyes flicker up to meet his briefly upon hearing the pet name before he leaves the room. He’s staring at you, searching for a response in your facial expressions but all you can focus on is the luring brown specks in his eyes. The Australian air must have done a number on him; this was not the SIm Jaeyun you knew. Of course, he still used to go out of his way to annoy you before, but the excessive winking and flirting was so unlike him. It was only until you heard him call you ‘angel’ that you realised how different Jake was, now.
You returned down the stairs to bid them goodbye.
“Y/n,” Jake’s father calls. “Jake and I will be here tomorrow morning to pick you up for school. We must repay the favour.”
“What favour?” You question.
Jake’s mother strokes your arm lovingly, and you wonder how a woman so kind can produce that devil staring at you by the door, “We’re so thankful that you’re tutoring Jake every weekend!”
You raise an eyebrow and look at your parents, who suspiciously are avoiding your eyes, “It’s no problem. Is this why Mr Sim is picking me up tomorrow?”
They nod and hug you goodbye, constantly reminding you of their appreciation.
With one last annoyed look towards your parents, you turn on your feet and head up to your room for the night to scream into your pillow about the return of Sim Jaeyun.
୨ৎ
The next morning, at the table while you wait for Jake and his father, you see your own come down the stairs to get ready for his own job.
“Y/n, you and Jake have to go to school alone. Mr Sim sends his apologies, he has a meeting,” Your dad informs you.
You groan softly at the light knocks on the door, knowing it was Sim Jaeyun. “That must be him,” your dad smiles as he opens the door. “Hi, Jaeyun.”
“Good morning, Mr Lee. Is Y/n ready?” Jake asks as he steps into the house and meets your annoyed eyes. Slinging your bag over your shoulder and walking towards Jake, you say bye to your father and leave the house with him.
“Why did your dad want us to go to school so early?” You huff. Jake smiles down at you, “So we could go get breakfast.”
He flicks his dads bank card in between his fingers, “Wanted me to thank you for that tutor thing. Did you know about that, by the way?”
You shake your head, “Mum and Dad probably knew I would refuse. Did you?”
You look up at him and see he shakes his head, with a proud grin on his face, “Mum and Dad probably knew I would refuse, too.”
You stop and cross your arms at him, “Why would you refuse? I’m the top of the class, you should be honoured.”
Jake snickers, “You’re top of the class because I was in Australia for a year.”
He ruffles your hair before walking off, leaving you to curse at him under your breath.
With a croissant and a coffee in each of your hands, you walk through the school gates with Jake. As expected, all eyes are on him. Everyone knew him; you remembered the way everyone was heartbroken when he announced that he was leaving last year. Apart from you. You were busy bouncing off the walls to celebrate his departure as now, there was no debate about who the top physics student was. You knew it sounded condescending and extremely nerdy, but you worked hard for your grades; the title was deserved.
“I have to go to the principal's office,” Jake tells you.
“Go then,” You shrug. Jake tuts and drags you to the principal's office with him.
You fight off his grip on you, “I thought you didn’t know where anything was.”
Jake rolls his eyes, “Shut up and wait here. We have class together next, anyway.”
Just as you’re about to argue back, you realise that you do in fact have Physics next. Of course, he was in your class.
You sit and eat the breakfast that he bought you while you wait. Not long after, he exits the principal's office with a few books in his fingers.
“What are those?” You ask as you try to reach over and read them, only to have them held over your head and out of your reach.
“Don’t be so nosy,” Jake tuts. “Let’s go, we’re going to be late.”
You frown and follow him swiftly.
Jake opens the class door, and all eyes are set on him once again. Your Physics teacher calls him to the front while you rush to your seat at the back, away from all the gazes fixed on him.
Thanking God that your first lesson after the dreadful weekend was Physics was a waste since Jake was momentarily ordered to sit beside you.
“Is there a problem, Y/n?” Your teacher asks following your noises of protest.
You shake your head, not that it mattered to Jake who was already sitting in the seat beside you.
“Thankfully, I got placed next to my tutor. What would I do without you?” Jake drawls with a soft smile on his lips.
“Shut it, Sim,” you groan, snatching your things to your side of the table. “My side. Your side.”
Jake watches you pull out a thin ribbon and place it in the middle of the table.
Towards the end of the lesson, you’re assigned individual worksheet tasks that Jake gets done with smoothly. Unlike you, who is struggling slightly.
It’s not that the work is difficult to understand, but you’ve never been that close to Jake to see his hands. Despite your many attempts to focus on your work, your gaze is teared away from the Physics equations on your sheet and replaced with the sight of Jake’s hands only inches away from your own. In order to control your impulsive thoughts, you have to focus your full attention towards not touching his hands which is driving you absolutely insane.
Jake looks over his shoulder at your sheet, eyes widening slightly, “How are you still on the first question?”
Jolting slightly, you scramble to pick up your pen and mumble sometimes about getting distracted.
Jake bites his lip to prevent a giggle from escaping, “If you need help, you can ask me.”
“I don’t need your help,” You respond and commence with the work.
The bells to announce the end of the lesson go off soon after and you sigh in relief, packing your things instantly in order to get away from that nightmare sitting beside you.
Jake watches you pack up as if he was waiting to say something until Park Sunghoon and Jay Park run into the classroom.
“Jake!” Sunghoon smiles widely, Jay following shortly.
Jake grins, “I didn’t see you two this morning.”
“We had to meet up with the football (soccer) team before school. Join us after school today?” Jay asks.
Jake shakes his head, “Can’t. I have to study with my tutor.”
You dart your eyes over to him, “Not today.”
Sunghoon and Jay break out into fits of laughter.“No way, Y/n has to tutor you. That’s so unfortunate, Y/n,” Jay says to you, and you nod with a frown.
Jake furrows his eyebrows, “What’s so bad about tutoring me?”
“Dude, you don’t even need a tutor. Y/n, I’ve been asking you to tutor me for months now,” Sunghoon follows you around your desk.
“I didn’t have a choice!” You remark. “Our parents arranged it behind our backs.”
Sunghoon smiles, “What? Like an arranged marriage?”
“Ew!” You both said in unison.
Clearing your throat, you look at Jake again, “I’m not tutoring you today. They said weekends. “
You grab your bag and leave the room, rushing to find your best friends. Minji and Jieun are sitting at the usual bench near the football field, snacks laid in their laps as they discuss the precious lesson when you rush towards them.
Their attention immediately turns to you and Minji asks, “Y/n, is it true that Jake’s back?”
You huff and nod, “You’ll never believe it.” And, with that, you start filling them in on all the events that have occurred in far little time that you’d like.
They listen intently as you tell them every single detail since yesterday.
Jieun gasps, “How has this all happened in less than 24 hours?”
You shrug and steal a biscuit from her lap, “Honestly, I’m wondering the same thing. I didn’t even know he would be back 24 hours ago.”
Minji leans forward, “Shit, don’t look. Shit, shit, shit.”
Despite Minji’s request, Jieun turns her head with a car and gasps, too.
“What?” You ask, impatiently, wanting nothing more than to see what they were so intrigued about.
“Jake’s in a football shirt,” Jieun claps her hands together and you roll your eyes, although you turn your head ever so slightly to get a look. You don’t see Jake anywhere.
“Where?” You ask, now looking more closely.
Jieun and Minji giggle beside you and you close your eyes in anger after sudden realisation, “He’s not there, is he?”
“Nope,” Minji chuckles. You lightly shove her with your arm as she continues, “So, Y/n. A crush on Jake, huh?”
“Impossible!” you argue. “I was just looking because you guys were so shocked.”
You cross your arms and stuff your mouth with snacks as your friends stare at you in disbelief, “I do not like Sim Jaeyun.”
୨ৎ
Taking tests were usually anxiety inducing, but with your rival back, it was even worse than usual. Jake helped you separate the table into individual seats for the test, watching the way your fingers drummed on the table; a habit to get rid of the nerves.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take it easy on you, angel,” He whispers, leaning so close to your ear that you can feel his breath fanning onto your cheek.
“Ugh,” You shove him away. “Are you trying to make me vomit before the test so I can miss it and fail?”
Jake sneers, “As if I need to do something like that. I’ll get higher than you regardless.
“We’ll see about that Aussie boy.”
Jake's eyebrows raise upon the new nickname, his eyes gleaming as he watches you take the test paper into your hand and write your name before starting it. Jake leans back in his chair, twirling his pencil in his fingers before he too starts the test.
The school bells go off, signalling both the end of the school day and the test.
Jake stands behind you as you hand in your paper and exit the classroom.
He taps your shoulder, “Did you finish all the questions?”
You nod, “Yeah, did you?”
“Yeah, but I don't think I did that well. I guess it's good that I’ve got myself a tutor, huh?” Jake giggles beside you.
You almost laugh, instead concealing it with a roll of your eyes, “Lucky you.”
“Be ready for one, tomorrow,” Jake ruffles your hair, earning a smack on the arm from you, which he fake winces at. “You coming to the football game next Monday?”
“No,” You guffaw and watch Jake slip his hands into his pockets.
“Hm, I thought you were. A little birdie told me you were,” Jake shoves his phone into your face, revealing messages from your mother telling him that you would go.
Angrily, you twist Jake’s ear and he yelps, “Ow??? What was that for?”
“Many reasons,” You cross your arms. “You messaged my mum to get me to go to your stupid football game! Why do you even have my mothers number?”
Jake rubs his now pink ear, “She told me to take it for the tutoring sessions since you said no to giving yours. Plus, is it so bad that you’re coming? Your friends are there every day.”
“Yeah, to see the boys they like,” You shrug.
“There’s no one you want to watch play?” Jake asks, slipping his hands back into his pockets.
“I have no interest in watching anyone play.”
Jake hums again, turning his face to the side before clearing his throat, “That’s because no one wants you to watch them.”
You glare at him, “Then, why did you ask my mother to force me to go?”
Scorning, Jake responds, “I didn’t force her. I just mentioned it and she said to make sure you go. Why would I want you there?”
At his words, you feel your heart gain a few bruises but you play it off, “I’m not going.”
“Shut up, Lee. I’ll pick you up at 5 on Monday. Games at 6,” With that, Jake walks off to join his friends. You grab your phone and message your group chat with your friends.
You: It looks like I'm attending my first school football game next week.
Minji: You wanna tell me this isn't because of the Sim boy?
Jieun: LMFAO FR.
You: Dude messaged my mother to get me to go.
Jieun: No fucking way
Minji: Yeah, so when's the wedding?
You: shut up, we don’t like each other.
Minji: 🙄
Jieun: keep telling yourself that. Want us to pick you up?
You: no… he’s picking me up
Minji: act surprised!
Jieun: Suit yourself, I am surprised!
Usually, the weekends are more than enjoyable; being that you can sleep in bed for a few hours longer than usual without feeling like you're rotting away as you’re still up before noon which automatically means you're being productive. This weekend was different; just like every day has been since Jake has arrived back.
This was now yet another time that he’s randomly been in your house as if he lives there, and waiting for you to join him.
“You’re late,” He says, taking a bite of an apple.
“I forgot,” You respond and sit down at the table with your textbooks.
Jake sits beside you, smiling at your pyjamas, “Why are all of them so childish?”
You frown, “They’re not childish. Anyway, focus!”
Tutoring Jake reveals to be harder than you thought. He either gets distracted every few minutes with an odd would you rather question that he needs to hear your response to or he’s bragging about how he doesn’t need these tutoring sessions, and could easily beat you in the upcoming exam.
Two hours fly by ever so slowly, and you’re silently thanking God that it’s over when the time comes.
Slamming your books shut, you spring to your feet with a wide smile plastered over your lips “Well, it’s been lovely but, that’s me done. Goodbye!”
Jake snickers as he watches you disappear up the stairs in a hurry, “See you on Monday!”
Monday flies by faster than you realise, you think as you sit in Physics next to Jake with your head resting in your palm. Monday was always such a mission to get through, but it didn’t help that you had a particularly late night.
“Tired?” Jake asks, sliding over your favourite bottled coffee. Your eyes light up upon seeing it as you accept it with a slightly enthusiastic nod.
“Extremely, staying up watching ‘Criminal Minds' is not a good idea,” You advise before taking a happy swig of the coffee.
Jake laughs, “Thanks for the warning. You’re coming to the game, by the way.”
You roll your eyes, “Is that why you got me a drink?”
Jake hums, “Why else would I do something nice for you?”
You scowl and hand him the coffee back, only for it to be slided back towards you with a disgusted expression on his, “I don’t want it! You already put your mouth on it.”
You sigh, and put it back in your bag, “Asshole.”
“Idiot,” He remarks.
You flick your eyes up and notice the teacher handing out the test papers from the last lesson, “We’ll see who the idiot is.”
The teacher places both yours and Jake's papers down with a smile.
You read the 97 on your paper, tilting it nervously to reveal to him as you wait for his mark.
“96,” He huffs, setting the paper down with a disappointed frown.
You clap your hands together with a wide grin, “I knew it! Sim Jaeyun, you fell off!”
You tease him consistently, singing celebrations in his ear as he places the paper in his bag, smiling at the 98 written on his sheet that he would much rather keep hidden for the sake of you singing gleefully beside him.
Jake swears he’s never seen you so happy; it's almost impossible to keep his smile under control as he watches you in slight fear that the adoration he has for you is emanating more than he would like.
୨ৎ
Your exciting plans to nap immediately after school were destroyed when you heard knocks on the door at exactly four minutes to five pm.
You answer softly, “Come in.”
Expecting one of your parents to walk in, you don’t bother to try and fix your hair or anything so when Jake walks in, you hurry to cover your snoopy pyjamas with your blanket, but judging by the way he snickers, you can tell he’s already seen it.
Jake stands in front of your wardrobe, “Say, Michael B Jordan came into your room and opened your wardrobe. Would there be anything you’d be too shy to show him?”
“No,” You reply, confused. Jake swinging your wardrobe doors open and grabbing a sweater before throwing it at you and walking out of the room was the last thing you had expected. Not to mention that he compared himself to Michael B Jordan, as if you’d care if he had seen your undergarments. Jake, however…
“Ten minutes!” He calls out before closing the door.
You sit in disbelief for a few moments before complying with his demands.
A few moments later, you walk out of the room and hear Jake and your father watching the football game.
“You’re here watching the game when you’re about to play anyway…” You stare at the two, dumfounded.
Jake tilts his head up at you as he gets up, “The game’s too good. Let’s go!”
He says goodbye to your parents and walks you to his car, “We’re kind of early, so you wanna eat something or eat after the game?”
“After the game?” You repeat slowly.
“Don’t tell me you’re planning to run home as soon as the game begins,” Jake runs a hand through his hair.
You stifle a laugh, “I doubt I'd make it before half time.”
Jake laughs, “Alright, let's get going.”
Along the way, Jake plays some songs and you can't help but enjoy the atmosphere. Jake glances her eyes towards you from time to time, fighting the smile that creeps his way onto his face in response to yours.
He can't help but think of how beautiful you look, when you’re not even doing anything remotely significant.
“We’re here,” You say.
“Thanks, Sherlock,” Jake rolls his eyes and gets out of the car. As soon as you open the car door, he pushes you back inside and shuts it. You furrow your eyebrows at him standing by the passenger door.
Jake swiftly opens the car door for you, looking around as you leave the car although it's a struggle to move after a zoo of butterflies started swarming in your stomach from his actions.
“Thanks,” You rub at the nape of your neck as he mutters an ‘its alright’ to you.
The pair of you make your way across the football pitch, Jake greets people as he walks past them while you dodge dirty stares from jealous students. It almost makes you want to laugh; if only they knew how it really was.
To be quite honest, you weren’t sure if you knew either now that you thought about it.
Brushing your thoughts away, you sat down on one of the benches, “I’ll watch from here.”
Jake nods and slings his bag to put next to you, “You’ll watch this, right?”
“Yes,” You huff. “Anything else, kind sir?”
Jake throws his head back as he laughs, “No, madam.”
Before you can look away, Jake removes his top and replaces it with a football jersey. You know you shouldn't, but you can't help it - his abs were literally staring at you in plain sight, so you had to look back at them.
Of course, he notices you staring and tuts, “Didn’t strike me as a pervert, Y/n.”
You gasp, stammering, “You.. You didn't even warn me!”
“Relax, angel. I don’t mind,” He jogs backwards, sending you a few winks before printing off to the rest of his football members.
Just before the game starts, Minji and Jieun run over and join you, already screaming the names of whichever boy they were infatuated with at that current time.
The game proves to be far more interesting as expected and you end up not regretting letting yourself be dragged out of bed by Jake.
You watch intently as Jake dribbles the ball and shoots it directly in the goal. Your adrenaline must have taken over you, since the next thing you know, you’re jumping up and cheering. In the midst of Jake’s celebration around the pitch, he looks over at you with the widest smile he’s ever fathomed. Jieun and Minji share smirks from the side.
By half time, he separates from the rest of his team and runs directly to you.
You hand him a water bottle as he sits beside you, sweat droplets making his skin glow an extra bit.
“I didn’t expect you to cheer for me,” Jake says, smugly.
“I didn’t cheer for you. I cheered for the team,” You correct.
“I didn’t see you get up and cheer like that when Sunghoon scored,” Jake mutters under his breath.
You dart your eyes at him, “You’re lucky I didn’t hear that.”
Jake sits beside you, regaining his strength in the fifteen minute break while you look around at the other members, eyes fixated on one familiar member.
“Oh shit,” You turn around to Jieun and Minji, whose eyes follow your previous gaze and soon replicate your own shocked expression. Jake turns to the three of you, attempting to eavesdrop.
“Is that-”
“Don’t say the name,” You gesture to Jake sitting beside you.
“Woah, woah,” Jake stands up. “Whose name?”
“None of your business,” You snap. “Shouldn’t you go and, like, discuss team plays?”
Jake shakes his head, “Nah, this isn’t a serious game. It’s just a friendly. Who’s the guy?”
Jake nods his head at the guy you were looking at, fury slowly bubbling in his insides.
“He's a relative,” You lie.
“Bullshit,” Jake huffs. “I’ll find out after the game, anyway.”
The guy was Lee Minseok, and he was your first kiss at a party several months earlier. Being a kiss at a party, you don’t even remember it but your friends had informed you of it. He, too, had wanted to reconnect by messaging you on each and every one of your social media accounts for weeks after despite you saying you weren't looking for anything. You’d felt bad, but it was better to leave it as a drunken mistake than leading him on completely. It had also been a shame that he was your first ever kiss, but you were glad you didn’t remember it.
You look at Jieun and Minji again before sitting back down next to Jake, who doesn’t say another word. After a few minutes, he walks off to his members without saying anything. You feel slightly disappointed that he didn’t say one of his flirty remarks, but you don’t pay too much mind.
You continue watching the game, silently cheering whenever Jake scores or does anything remotely notable and you notice how his eyes always turn to you upon doing something well, but again, you don’t think much of it.
It’s only when you notice Minseok slytackling Jake, leading to Jake falling on his back. Soft gasps erupt from the crowd, a way of everyone agreeing that it was far too harsh of a movement. Minseok holds his hand out to apologise, only to be rejected by Jake smacking his hand away and pushing him by the shoulders. It becomes a small brawl, Jay and Sunghoon having to pull Jake away and to the changing rooms. You watch Jake strut over to the changing rooms, a look of rage crossed over his face.
The next thirty minutes of the game go by painfully slow; all you wanted was to know if Jake was alright.
Despite Jieun and Minji’s attempts at trying to get you to go home with them, you wait for Jake, just to find out if he's okay.
It gets dark when you spot Jake walking on the other side of the football field and you call him over, “Jake!”
He turns around and looks at you with a slightly bewildered expression, but waits for you nonetheless.
“Are you okay?” You ask.
“I’m fine,” He mumbles. “Did you ask Minseok if he was, too?”
It was your turn to look at him bewilderedly, “No, I couldn’t care less if he was injured.”
Jake’s lips almost curl into a smile. Almost, if he didn’t hear Sunghoons words replaying in his head. Minseok was your first kiss - he stole your first kiss. The feeling of rage bubbled in Jake’s insides again.
“Anyway, I waited because you promised to get me food,” You grin.
Jake looks away, “I can’t. Dad needs help at home.”
“Oh,” You whisper. “Okay, but you owe me another day.”
Jake nods in agreement, and you wait for that familiar smile to return on his face, but it doesn’t.
“I’m going to get going,” You say.
Again, you wait for him to say something, like offer to drop you off home. But, nothing.
You feel like a fool as you walk away from him, his figure growing smaller and smaller behind you with every step.
The next few days are all similar, there are times where you expect Jake to say something to you around the halls or in Physics, but he doesn’t. You don’t even see him around the house anymore, despite his family being there and them saying that he was busy catching up with schoolwork. That was definitely a lie, you knew him.
Mr Sim calls you to sit with them, smiling at you politely.
“Thank you for tutoring Jaeyun. His grades slipped a bit in Australia but, thanks to you, they’re back to normal,” He grins. “I hope there’s no hard feelings, though.”
“Of course, not. Why would there be?” You return his politeness.
Mr Sim sighs in ease, “Oh, I thought you would be since Jaeyun got 98 on the recent test. Although, it was only a marks difference. You’re seriously wonderful-”
The rest of his words tune out, the only thing you hear is that Jake got higher than you in the test but he lied. Why did he lie?
୨ৎ
Deciding to head over to his house with the lie that you needed to give him some school work was merely impulsive, it was far too late when you realised at his doorstep. You’d spent the last few days laying in the darkness of your room, wondering why he has suddenly switched off his typically playful manner to a foreign, nonchalant version of himself. You even cried to Jieun and Minji about it, who cursed him repeatedly.
Jake opens the door in Spongebob pyjamas to which you cock an eyebrow at, “And you called mine childish.”
“What are you doing here?” Jake asks, helping you into his house. “Do you want something to drink or eat?”
You shake your head and he leans on the wall in front of you as you take a seat.
“So,” Jake stares at you. “What are you doing here?”
You take a long and slow breath, “Why did you lie about your mark in the recent exam?”
Jake steps forward slightly, “How did you-”
You shake your head, “It doesn’t matter. Why did you lie?”
Jake exhales, “I knew it would make you happy.”
You scoff, getting to your feet, “Why on earth do you care if I’m happy?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jake grits his teeth.
“You hate me. You’ve been avoiding me for days, now,” You breathe out.
Jake stares at you blankly, before breaking out into a fit of laughter, “Hate you?”
He inches closer to you until hes standing directly in front of you, “Y/n, I came back here for you.”
“What are you talking about?” You chuckle. “You came back because our parents-”
“No,” Jake interjects. “You think I didn’t beg my father to take that deal? You think my dad doesn’t know how in love with you I am? Y/n, everyone knows but you!”
You shake your head, “This isn’t true.”
“Look, if you don’t like me back, just say so. But, don’t come here and start spewing nonsense. I’ve liked you since that day that we won the Science Fair together. I’ve been in love with you since I left for Australia.”
You look up at him, “No way.”
Jake rolls his eyes and takes your hand, pulling you to his bedroom. He sits you down in his bed while he reaches into a drawer and pulls out a large box.
Jake removes the lid and brings out multiple items that you recognise and some that you don’t.
“This is my Y/n box,” he places it onto your lap. “Have a look.”
Jake holds a few items in his hand, “This is the bracelet I won at a Physics competition in Australia at the beginning. I planned to give it to you. This is a teddy I won at some amusement park. And, this is a letter I wrote on the plane when I realised that I was in love with you. Well, am in love with you.”
Jake continues, “Even my grades, Y/n. They were nothing without you. It’s like you were my only source of motivation, my grades were average towards the end of the year in Australia. My parents and my teachers all blamed it on the move, but I knew. I knew it was because you weren’t there.”
You’re speechless, he kept everything remotely linked to you since you were thirteen. He thought of you in every little thing he did.
“You love me?” You question.
“Yes, Y/n. I’ve been in love with you.”
“But,” You breathe out. “I’m hard to love.”
Your voice is strained, and isn’t far from a whisper. There’s so many things you want to say yet so little words to conform them to the perfect boy sitting in front of you.
He almost guffaws at your words - Jake might have if he didn’t realise just how serious you were. He didn’t understand; what on earth was so hard about loving you? There was nothing.
If only you could see just how effortless it had been, straight from the beginning. The minute he laid eyes on you standing by a handmade rocket, scribbling ideas down on a piece of paper, it was as if the atoms in the universe had created an inseparable bond that tied you two together. It was as if the poles in the universe had drawn together, creating a magnetic field of attraction.
Jake’s eyes twinkle as he leans closer to you, “There is nothing hard about loving you. Loving you is like breathing out oxygen, so if loving you is hard then breathing is, too.”
You flick your eyes up at him again, now only centimetres away from those pink plush lips of his until you close the gap, pulling him into a soft kiss.
“I love you, too, “ You breathe out.
“Really?” Jake gasps. “You’re not just saying that?”
You shake your head, intertwining your fingers, “No, seriously. I do, I didn’t know I did but now.. Now, I know. I came here because you were avoiding me the whole week and I couldn’t bear it.”
Jake giggles, “That’s because I didn’t think you liked me back after that whole situation with Minseok at the football game. I thought it would be better to just leave you alone.”
Jake gently intertwines his fingers with you, a casual action albeit causing your heart to race a million miles per hour.
“So,” he beams, “if you get higher than me in the next Physics exam, I’ll take you out on a date.”
You cock an eyebrow at him, a grin paired on your lips, “And, what if I don’t?”
Jake looks away, thinking for a moment, “Then, you take me on a date.”
“Well, can I give you a kiss first?” You ask, raising an eyebrow at him as if he’s ever going to decline that offer
“You don’t need to ask twice,” Jake breathes out, before meeting your lips with a wide grin plastered on his face.
୨ৎ
Seeing Jake knock on your window from outside your house was quite a shock for you, being it was a Sunday evening and you were sorting out your school bag for the next day.
You open your window to let him in with a befuddled expression worn on your face, “What are you doing here? It’s almost 6:30.”
A soft smile is on his lips as he looks at you, and climbs through your window, “I had to see you. Its been so long.”
Rolling your eyes playfully, “I saw you on Friday.”
“That’s far too long, angel.”
You smile as he wraps an arm around your waist to pull you in for a warm embrace, he hums as he closes his eyes and rocks your body with his from side to side.
“Why didn’t you use the front door?” You ask him.
Jake nervously rubs the back of his neck, “I’m scared of your father.”
You laugh at his words, “You’ve known the man for years! What’s there to be afraid of?”
He sits down on your bed, playing with your teddy bears, “Well, he’s different with me now that I’m.. dating his daughter.”
“He’s a bit shocked but he’ll get used to it. You can’t expect him to like you if he finds out you’ve been sneaking in through my window, though,” You pinch Jake’s cheek softly.
Jake nods, “I know.” Jake sighs and leans into your touch against his cheek.
“Why don’t you try going back through the front door? You can ask my parents for permission to grab dinner outside, today,” You suggest, pulling his hands up.
You watch Jake’s eyes glint in excitement as he heads back out of the window. Yet, he doesn’t forget to turn around to press a quick kiss on your cheek before he leaves, only to return to be in your house in less than a minute.
Hearing the doorbell ring, you make your way downstairs while fighting the urge to grin upon knowing exactly who was at your door.
You watch your father open the door, seeing Jake, “Hi Jake, what brings you here?”
Jake stammers, “Hello, sir. I mean, Mr Lee… I came to see Y/n.”
You stand beside your father, “Dad, you haven’t even let him in.”
Pulling Jake inside, you frown at your Dad as your Mum joins the three of you.
“Honey, why are you so awkward around Jaeyun now? Weren’t you the one who always wanted him as a son?” Your mum chuckles.
“I didn’t think he would become a son like.. this,” Your dad darts his eyes towards you and Jake. “So, is the relationship going well?”
You struggle to not break out into a fit of laughter, “Yes, Dad. Thanks for your concern. Jake and I are going to get some ice cream.”
Your Mum nods happily while your father sighs and sits back. Jake bows his head politely and leaves with you.
“I hate the awkwardness,” Jake whines and you laugh, intertwining your fingers with his.
“He’ll get used to it!” You boop Jake’s nose sweetly.
Walking alongside Jake with your fingers wrapped tightly in his own, the crisp autumn air hitting against your cheeks and the streetlights illuminating the sky; you can’t help but feel a sense of longing towards the moment. It just felt right.
“I’ve been thinking,” Jake breaks the silence, tilting his head towards you. “Actually.. No, no. You’re going to make fun of me.”
Jake hides his face in his hoodie, but you can still see the redness in his cheeks.
“What?” You laugh, prying his face out of his hoodie. “Tell me!”
Jake sighs, “I used to think we were alike but I don’t think we are. So, I guess we’re kinda like magnets.”
“You’ve called me a lot of things, Sim Jaeyun, but never have you called me a magnet.”
Jake sighs with a smile on his face, “Not like that! I just meant, we’re not as alike as we think. Kinda like a magnet, but they work out fine. If anything, there’s literal forces of attraction pulling them together. Isn’t that so cool?”
You chortle, “Yes, Jake. That’s very cool. I love being your magnet.”
Jake presses a kiss to your lips, “Stop making fun of me.”
“Stop being a nerd,” You retort.
“Says the one who got 100% in the last quiz!”“Don’t be jealous, Sim. You’ll get on my level someday.”
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youmakemyhearthowl · 1 year
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Steve sometimes worried, well okay he worried all the time, but sometimes he worried specifically that he was doing the same thing to Eddie that he’d done to Nancy. 
Although he wasn’t really sure exactly what he’d done wrong with Nancy. But it seemed reasonable that it was his fault. He wasn’t the best back then, even if he tried really hard to be for her.
It’s just, sometimes it seems like Eddie gets a similar look on his face, a similar look to the one Nancy would make when she’d tell him he needed to chill out, stop smothering her so much. When she’d told him he was bullshit. And he can’t really be sure, Robin tells him all the time he’s terrible at reading facial emotions when he’s worried, but it seems like the same look. And he’s worried, terrified really, that he’s going to ruin whatever it is he’s building with Eddie before they’ve even really started.  So he goes to the smartest person he knows (besides Dustin) and the only person he’s ever loved like this.
He goes to Nancy.
And she doesn’t tell him what he wants to hear, doesn’t sugar coat it or make it sweet. She practically rips his heart out and stomps on it, but it’s why he went to her in the first place. Nancy is honest.
“Well sometimes Steve, you’re a little much you know? Clingy and loud with your love, it’s a bit embarrassing to be on the receiving end of it a lot of the time, and maybe you’re making him uncomfortable with it.” 
And well- that makes sense really.
Too much but never enough is what he’s always been. To his parents, his peers, Steve doesn’t know how to love halfway because he was never shown the right way to love. He only knows the way to make someone feel unloved and he refused to ever let anyone feel that way if he cared.
So he pulls back, not much at first cause it’s hard to not love Eddie loudly, but slowly he thinks he gets the hang of it. Clings less, acts less giddy, pulls his feelings in really tight and tucks them into his rib cage where they can’t get out. And Eddie stops making that face. 
He makes a new one now.
This one makes Steve’s skin crawl and nausea pull in his stomach, but he can’t place the emotion it is, has no idea. But Eddie makes it in the places where Steve would have been louder before. Makes it when he looks at Robin and thinks Steve isn’t looking at them. Makes it when Steve makes himself smaller. 
He doesn’t know what the face means, and he’s more worried now than he was before, because Robin has taken to making the face at him too, and really it was only a matter of time before he exploded about it. 
“Okay what is that face? I don’t know what that face means, please for the love of god what does that face mean?” His voice is loud and desperate when he grabs her shoulders, the surprise from her erases the facial expression he hates so much, but he knows it was there. 
“This is just my face, Steve.” She smirks slightly at him, he can tell she knows he’s being serious, but he also knows Robins never been good with serious unless the world is ending, so he tries to hold in his irritation. 
“The one you make every time Eddie’s brought up now. The same one he makes at me all the time. I thought I was being better you know? I tried really fucking hard to not be too much to him all the time and I thought it worked cause he stopped- he stopped looking at me a certain way. But now there’s a new face and your face also adopted the face and I’m at a loss.” He breathes heavily, leaning out of Robin's space and running his hand through his hair before bringing it down to pinch the bridge of his nose. He can feel a slight moisture there and it’s more than a little embarrassing that he’s trying not to cry about a facial expression, but fuck it, it’s Robin.
“Steve, what do you mean by being better?” It’s the sorrow he can detect in her voice that really brings the tears to the surface now, and he pinches the bridge of his nose harder, willing them to go away, but they fall anyways. 
“I’m too much you know? When I love someone. Too loud about it, too clingy, people don’t like that and I didn’t want to scare Eddie off. Cause I get it now, people won’t ever be able to love me when I love them like that so I have to be quieter, less… obnoxious.” His voice gets softer but the words feel rougher to push out of his throat the more he talks. And he can’t stand to look at her, can’t stand to look up, can feel the shame and embarrassment fucking breaking him. 
“Who the fuck told you that?” The voice that speaks now, is not, in fact, Robin. But deeper and filled with a harsh sharpness that causes Steve to flinch slightly. 
And of course, of course Eddie would walk in and hear this pathetic ramble about how little Steve Harrington loved so much that it scared off everyone else. It’s really just the icing on the shit cake that is his life lately.
He doesn’t want to, but he looks up.
He looks up just in time to see Robin place her hand on Eddie’s shoulder, looks up slowly enough to see the tremble in Eddie’s hands that never really went away after Vecna. 
“No one had to tell me. I could see it on your face every time I was too much, Nancy used to get the same expression. Near the end.”  Eddie scoffs a bit, not moving forward but not moving away as Robin steps closer to Steve, reaching her hand out to take his gently. 
“Steve,” it’s strained in a way Steve’s never heard his name from Eddie before, tight and clipped, “Whatever face you thought you were seeing before, wasn’t like- fuck,” he shakes his head slightly tugging at the strands of his hair with one hand, “It was awe Steve. Every goddamn time you loved me loudly like that, I was in awe, and maybe a bit confused because people don’t- people don’t love like that. People don’t love me like that, and queer people really don’t ever show that kind of love that openly. I was in awe, Steve.” 
Which- was not the answer Steve had braced for, and he can feel all the air leave his lungs harshly, slumping his shoulders down, and looking away from the two people in front of him. Robin squeezes his hand gently.
“And the look you see now isn’t something bad directed at you. Never directed at you. Steve, it was hurting us to watch you make yourself smaller and we had no idea why or what happened. You’re literally my capital P soulmate Steve, the way you love makes me happy, overwhelmed in the most wonderful way I’ve never experienced before. Because Eddie’s right, people don’t love like you. But that’s not a bad thing. God it’s so far from a bad thing.” Steve can see where Eddie’s moved closer now, his Reeboks coming into view next to Robin's red chucks. 
“There’s no one quite like you Steve Harrington. And any look you get from me, unless it’s about your music taste, it’s always a positive one. Your ‘too much’ is so much more than enough.” 
Steve can really feel the tears falling now, doesn’t even try to stop them this time because this- this right here is what being loved loudly feels like. This right here is everything he’s been searching for his whole life, and they’ve been trying to tell him that for weeks, probably months at this point.
He can feel them surrounding him, Eddie against his back and Robin pressed to his chest, their arms looping him and each other as they hug him, and love him, for being who he’s always tried to be. Who he’s been pushing to become since he realized he hated who he was. 
“There is never anything wrong with being loud about your love. Something that’s too much for someone else, will be exactly enough for the right person. Everyone needs to be loved differently and everyone shows love differently, Steve. But the right people for you will fucking cherish the way you love.” Eddie breaths into his ear, and Steve can feel a part of himself click back together again. 
So yea, Steve worries sometimes, that he’s too much, that he’s never enough, but Robin and Eddie, they’ll always be there to remind him he’s just right for them.
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starryeyedjanai · 1 year
Text
bet.
steddie | 2.8k
read on ao3
Happy Birthday @wynnyfryd 🥰🥰🥰 I've had this idea floating around in my brain for a while now and seeing it was your birthday prompted me to finish it 💕
---
It's his first time in Indianapolis as an out bisexual, so of course Robin takes him to a gay club - to experience the drag queens and to see other queer people having fun, she says.
It's a little overwhelming, the bright lights and the music and the people. But he's having a great time, people watching and drinking virgin daiquiris and talking with Robin.
She's been here before - she came with Vickie when they were still together one weekend and they had a blast. So when Steve figured his sexuality shit out and came out to her, this was the first place she wanted to take him.
Now, he can see why. It's a haven of sorts. Gay men dancing together and kissing each other, gay women getting cozy in the booths, drag queen and drag kings about. He hasn't felt like he's belonged somewhere in a long time, but it kind of feels like he belongs here. The atmosphere is welcoming and kind.
They dance a little before everything gets overwhelming and then they find an empty booth to sit down and sip at their drinks in.
Robin keeps trying to encourage him to find someone to kiss so that they can call this night a success, but he keeps telling her that no one has caught his eye. And it's kind of true. He's seen some men that he thinks might be his type, but they're all paired up with men who look nothing like Steve. Even then, the few people that have caught his eye weren't right, somehow.
He keeps holding out, hoping to find someone that makes his heart skip a beat, or whatever the appropriate cliche for a gay club is.
And it. It happens.
He glances over at the bar as he's taking the last few sips of his drink, thinking about if he wants to brave the crowd at the bar, when he sees him.
His heart doesn't skip a beat, but he knows as soon as he lays eyes on him that he wants him. He's beautiful - and intimidating.
He's sitting facing away from the bar with his legs splayed open, ripped jeans revealing what looks like fishnet stockings underneath them. He's wearing a tank top that's showing off his many tattoos and Steve is struck with the urge to know what they taste like. His combat boots are clunky and could seriously kick someone's ass if they messed with him. His wavy hair is half tied up, a messy ponytail holding his hair out of his face, but the bottom half is freely falling past his shoulders.
He kind of feels like he's been bit by the love bug - he can't take his eyes off him.
He knows Robin is saying something to him, but he can't even hear it. It's all just background noise. He doesn't think he's ever been so captivated by someone before. He wants to put his mouth on him.
"Steve? Oh my god, stop ignoring me!" Robin says and snaps her fingers in front of his face, pulling him from his reverie. He looks over at her sheepishly.
"Sorry, Robbie," he says, looking back over at the guy briefly and yep, he's still just as hot as the first time he looked.
"What was that? Did you see someone you like? You looked like you blacked out for a minute there," she says, a smirk pulling at her lips.
He rolls his eyes. Of course she already knows - his type is people that look like they could stomp on him and he'd say thanks. "Black tank top, ripped jeans, at the bar. I think I'm in love," he says with a sigh. He's way too intimidated to go over there.
She squeals in his ear and says, "This is so exciting! You have to go kiss him now."
"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not just gonna go up to a stranger and ask if he'll be my first gay kiss."
"And why not?" she asks, stirring her drink.
"Because that's insane," he says. "He's probably already got someone. He's, he's gorgeous. There's no way he's here alone." It's a shame, but it's probably true - he's way too good looking to be here alone.
"There's only one way to find out," Robin says. She leans forward and whispers in his ear, a challenge of sorts.
"You can't be serious," he says to her, questioning his own sanity for even entertaining her for one second.
She leans back in and whispers more into his ear and he groans.
"You're diabolical," he tells her, pulling back to smack a kiss on her forehead. He stands up and takes a deep breath before marching over to the bar. He can't believe he's doing this.
He marches right up to the guy and immediately every word in his vocabulary is gone. He's so fucking pretty.
"Um. Uh, hi," he says, stupidly.
The guy bites his lip and grins at him. He says, "Hi," back to him and Steve is literally going to die, he thinks. He couldn't see it from across the club before, but this guy has a lip piercing, and Steve wants to know what it feels like against his mouth so fucking bad.
"I need you to kiss me," he blurts out, trying not to cringe.
"You need me to, to kiss you?" the guy asks, and this was a bad idea, the worst idea Robin's ever had. There's no way he's going to agree to this.
"So, my friend-" he stops, looking back at Robin - she waves at them. He's trying so hard not to blush as he turns back to the guy and says, "She bet me that I couldn't get a guy to kiss me since it's my first time here. So I was wondering if you would kiss me, so I can win the bet." He's steeling himself for rejection, for this guy to tell him to fuck off or maybe have mercy and let him down gently by telling him he's taken.
But he just smiles, tilting his head at Steve. "Why me?"
"Hmm?" Steve asks.
"Why me?" the guy asks again. "Out of all the guys here, you picked me. Why?"
Steve sputters for a second. "You, I mean. You have to know how you look, right? Like, you're gorgeous."
He grins again, tonguing at his lip ring and Steve is so down bad for him, it's actually insane. "Okay," he says. "I'll accept that answer. Now, if you get your kiss, you win your bet, but what's in it for me?"
Steve is hoping that if he's still talking to him, that means he actually has a shot. He's feeling dizzy with how much he wants to kiss him. He really fucking hopes he can kiss him.
He says, "A kiss?" with what he hopes is a charming - and not at all maniacal - grin.
The guy snorts. Rude. He snorts at Steve and says, "I think I'll need a little more that that, don't you think, sweetheart?"
Steve nods dumbly, says, "I'll split my winnings with you. Would that work?"
He's not expecting it to work, is the thing. He doesn't expect him to say yes.
Which is why he's so surprised when he reaches out and tugs Steve closer by the collar of his shirt. He did not know being yanked around was his thing, but apparently it is because good god.
"That works for me," the guy says, eyes going molten as he looks at Steve.
He can't believe that worked. Holy shit.
He's. He's nervous, he realizes. He's had a lot of first kisses, been on many first dates that ended in him kissing someone unfamiliar. But this is nerve-wracking for him in a way it hasn't been before.
He lets the guy pull him in further by his collar, lets him control when the kiss happens.
The first press of their lips has Steve sighing and opening his mouth slightly, wanting more, wanting to taste him. He kisses him, lets himself be kissed really. He opens his mouth more when a tongue snakes out and presses into his mouth.
Steve's hands come up to pull him closer, to pull - fuck, he doesn't even know his name, yet. He's doing this all wrong. He meant to get his name before shoving his tongue down his throat.
But it's good, the feeling of soft lips pressed against his, the cold metal of his piercing pressing against his mouth, his tongue stroking over Steve's in a way that makes him wish they were alone, wish they weren't here surrounding by all these people. He wants to kiss him and keep kissing him until the breath runs out of his lungs. He wants to put his hands on him, to dip his fingers into the rips in his jeans and feel the rough fishnets against his fingertips.
He pulls his mouth away to gasp out, "What's your name?" because he needs to know, needs to have some connection, some thread to hold onto, to grasp as they're kissing.
"Eddie," he whispers against Steve's mouth. "What's yours?" Eddie asks. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
"Steve," he says before pressing his mouth against Eddie's again. He wants to kiss him forever. He never wants to stop. He wants Eddie to keep licking into his mouth like he owns it until the bartender yells out that it's last call. He wants Eddie to keep holding him like this until Robin drags him away as they turn the lights on in the club to kick everyone out. He wants, he wants, he wants.
He gets a hand tangled in Eddie's hair and gets their heads tilted right so that they can lick deeper into each other's mouths. It's burning him up inside, the way their tongues are sliding together, the way Eddie's licking behind his teeth and sucking on his tongue like he's trying to taste the daiquiri he was drinking earlier.
Eddie tastes like tobacco and something sweet, like he was drinking something sweet before Steve came up to him too. God, Steve wants to know everything about him - what's his go-to drink order, does he smoke, does he prefer beer over mixed drinks, is he seeing anyone, please don't be seeing anyone, god.
He feels desperate, he feels out of control. He wants Eddie to take him apart like he's never wanted anything else in his life. He wants those hands on him, wants to feel the rings on his fingers pressing marks into his skin. He want his hands gripping his hips, sliding down and touching him. He doesn't think he's ever wanted like this.
The only reason they break apart is because someone's elbow ends up in Steve's back and he ends up pushed further into the crease of Eddie's thigh. He feels him hard against him and he knows Eddie can feel how hard he is too. Fuck, it's like everything else faded away when Eddie's mouth was on his, but now that they're not kissing, he's suddenly achingly aware that he's hard in his incredibly tight pants after making out with Eddie for god knows how long.
His face is probably red and sweaty, but Eddie's still looking at him like he wants him and god, does he want him back.
But he pulls back a little, puts some space between their hips because he quite literally can't ditch Robin here go hook up with Eddie, no matter how much he wants to.
He bites his lip and pulls his hand back, the one that was tangled in Eddie's long hair. He puts it on Eddie's chest and asks, "Was that okay?" because he thinks he knows the answer, but it never hurts to hear it.
Eddie huffs out a laugh and says, "Was that okay, he asks. Sweetheart, I think you and I both know that was something on a completely different realm from just okay."
If Steve wasn't blushing before, he definitely is now. He says, "Good, good. I'm glad we're on the same page."
Eddie leans close like he's going to kiss him again. He brushes his lips against Steve's in a dry press - barely a kiss, but it has Steve aching all the same anyway. He drags his mouth along his jaw, just mouthing at it, and it's the hottest thing Steve's ever felt.
He whispers in Steve's ear, "Your friend is trying really hard to get your attention right now," and that pulls Steve right back down to earth.
He pulls away again and turns around to see Robin waving her arms at him. He puts his hands on his hips and raises his eyebrows at her. She waves her hand at him, beckoning him back to their table so he holds up a finger to tell her to hold the fuck on.
He turns back around and says, "I think I'm being summoned. As much as I want to stay and as much as I, like, desperately want to keep kissing you, I should get back to my friend."
Eddie crosses his arms over his chest and leans back against the bar and Steve can't help the way his eyes sweep over him again. Eddie's smirking when he looks back up at him.
"That's fair," Eddie says. "So, what did we win?"
Steve makes a questioning sound, before he remembers what Eddie's talking about. He sheepishly brings a hand up to swipe his hair out of his face where its begun to stick to his forehead. "Oh, uh, about that. There never really was a bet."
"Really?" Eddie asks, leaning forward again into Steve space, like that's the most interesting thing he's heard all night.
Steve shakes his head. "I promised half of the winnings, but the winnings are zero, so half of zero is still zero, you know?"
Eddie grins at him and says, "You're kind of devious, you know that? Here I was, thinking I'd get a prize at the end of that kiss."
"Sorry for getting your hopes up, but I mean, it was a good kiss, right?" Steve asks, boldly leaning forward to press his mouth against Eddie's again. Eddie lets him, lets Steve kiss him, softer than before. Before it was all new and exciting and hot, and it still is, but this kiss is tender, pulling a gasp from Steve's lips when they separate.
"It was a good kiss," Eddie agrees, pecking him on the lips again, soft and sweet.
"Can I have your number?" Steve asks, trying to be brave for once. He got Eddie to kiss him, even if it was under less than truthful circumstances, but he hopes it was good enough to warrant a call back.
"Your friend, is she seeing anyone?" Eddie asks, and Steve's head is kind of spinning at the redirection there.
"She and her girlfriend broke up a couple months ago. Why?" he asks, wondering where this is going. If this guy is actually somehow straight and only kissed him to get with Robin, Steve's gonna lose it.
"I'll tell you what, if you can convince your friend to kiss my friend, you can have my number," Eddie says, gesturing to the girl that's been sitting next to him at the bar this entire time.
And- oh. Oh god, he's embarrassed.
Has she just been awkwardly sitting there while Eddie made out with him? He was half a second away from dry humping Eddie and his friend was sitting there patiently waiting for them to stop. That's embarrassing.
She's cute - she's got this whole cheery, bubblegum vibe to her that didn't make Steve glance twice at her once he had his eyes set on Eddie because the two of them are kind of polar opposites. He didn't think they were here together.
His eyes shift back and forth between them and she waggles her fingers at him in a wave, smirking at his caught out look.
"Chrissy," she says, sticking out her hand to shake Steve's. He's kind of intimidated by her too, but he's got to hand it to her - he doesn't think even Robin would sit through him making out with someone right next to her. He guesses he does kind of owe it to both her and Robin. He and Eddie were making out for a while.
"Steve," he says, lamely. "Sorry for making out with your friend right next to you. Um, I'm gonna go grab Robin now."
They both watch him as he leaves, which makes his skin prickle and his heartbeat speed up. He makes a beeline back to Robin and lets her coo at him for a minute about having his first gay kiss.
She's talking a mile a minute asking about how it was, if he got his number, when Steve interrupts her.
"Bobbin, you are not gonna believe this," he says, and when he's got her attention, he continues, "I think I just found you a girlfriend?"
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Text
Inspired by the fanfiction link above; kind of an aftermath scenario. I love the idea of Wayne being extra protective of Steve after Steve saved Eddie's life, and getting even more protective of him after he and Eddie start dating. What can I say, I'm a Wayne Munson simp. Also, while I might not have a lot of respect for him anymore, see if you can find the John Mulaney quote I slipped in here! @artiststarme I hope you like it!
Finally Protected
Wayne Munson was a lot of things. A salty grump, a loner, an uncle, a father.
But most of all, he was loyal.
Once someone earned his loyalty, it lasted for life. He would stick with them through thick and thin, and defend them against anyone. And against all odds, Steve Harrington had earned his loyalty.
Anyone with eyes could see that Steve was head over heels in love with Wayne's boy. Which was why he could not comprehend why it was Steve who was on the receiving end of all these goddamn shovel talks.
Found family, my ass, he thought to himself. Even that Buckley girl had given Steve a talk. Were they all stupid? They'd known Steve, really known him, for much longer than Wayne or Eddie had. How could they still think that Steve would hurt anyone, much less Eddie?
The worst thing about it was, Wayne knew that Steve would forgive them. It didn't matter how many times the Party hurt him, Steve would just shrug it off, like his feelings didn't matter. And considering Steve had already earned the loyalty of the Munsons, Wayne had a problem with that.
A big problem.
The day after Eddie apologized and the two boys made up, Wayne dropped by to talk to Steve. Even as he settled on the couch in the living room, he could see the tension in Steve's shoulders.
"You can relax, kiddo," he said. "I'm not mad at ya. Not here to give you another goddamn shovel talk, either."
Steve's eyebrows rose. "Really?"
Wayne nodded. "Eddie's an adult now, and he knows how to take care of himself. No, I'm here to talk about the rest of the Party."
Steve looked confused. "What do you mean?"
Wayne sighed. "Boy, you need to set some boundaries with these people."
"Boundaries?"
"Steve, I know this ain't the first time these folks have hurt you. Lord knows Eddie has gone on many rants about how the kids keep calling you an idiot, or how the Wheeler girl cheated on you after 'she ripped your heart out of your chest and stomped on it.' Eddie's words, by the way."
Steve looked uncomfortable, now. "Well, the kids are just messing around. And I shouldn't have tried to hold on to Nancy the way I did."
"The kids are old enough now to learn how to mess around without being disrespectful. And Nancy should have been honest with you instead of leading you on," Wayne countered.
Steve still looked apprehensive. Wayne sighed (again-he'd been doing that a lot lately).
"Look, Steve, I'm not saying you have to cut them out of your life. I know that'd be devastating for ya. But just letting them hurt you, and not saying a word about it... You deserve better than that."
Steve's eyes misted over. "No, I don't," he choked out. When Wayne opened his mouth to protest, the kid shook his head rapidly. "You don't understand, Mr. Munson, I was a really bad person in high school. The things I said about people... I'd tear them down without a second thought. I-"
Sensing that Steve was about to go on a self deprecating tangent, Wayne cut him off.
"Did you know that Eddie used to rant about you?"
This seemed to startle the kid. "Um... What?"
Wayne chuckled. "Yeah, I won't go into details, but he was very vocal about how much you bugged him... But then, out of nowhere, in 1984, he stopped. I asked him why, because I was curious. Do you know what he said?"
Steve gulped. "What?"
"He said, and I quote, 'he hasn't actually been an asshole in a while, and now that everyone else is trying to kick him down, I don't want to contribute to that.' You made a change, Steve. Not many people are willing to do that. Hell, most ain't even willing to believe that there's something wrong with em. But you were. I'll keep telling you, as many times as I have to for it to sink in. You don't deserve to be hurt."
The tears Steve had been holding back this whole time finally seemed to overwhelm him. Wayne scooched over to him and wrapped him in a hug.
"You've had to be strong for so long, kid. Let me look after you, yeah? Lord knows you deserve protection just as much as Eddie does."
Steve didn't answer, but he nodded. That was enough for now.
--0--
Wayne had been pacing around Steve's living room for about ten minutes when he finally heard the doorbell ring. It would appear that this group traveled as a pack, because every single member of the party was there.
That is, every member but two.
"Mr. Munson?" Dustin asked confusedly. "What's going on? Where's Steve?"
Wayne grunted. "All of ya just come in. I'll explain once you get settled. And I'm sayin this now, I expect you all to listen."
When everyone was sitting around the living room, Hopper was the first to speak up. "So Wayne, what's going on? Where's the kid?"
Wayne scowled. "If you mean Steve, he's at my trailer with Eddie. If that were big enough, we'd be there instead, but there's too many of you, and I need you all to hear this."
The Buckley girl looked extremely confused. "Why would you want us here if Steve isn't?"
Wayne took a deep breath in an attempt to control his anger. "Because it would seem to me that you lot forget just how much that boy does for all of you."
Joyce furrowed her brow. "Um... What?"
"You folks got a lot of nerve, acting like Steve is the one who's gonna hurt Eddie. He ain't a ticking time bomb, and you gotta stop treating him like it. After everything he's done for you lot, it astounds me how you can still treat him like crap. Found family, my ass."
Nancy Wheeler opened her mouth with an angry expression, but Wayne cut her off. "Don't go acting so high and mighty, Wheeler. Did you even realize that Steve still flinches when anyone uses the word bullshit? You tore his heart out of his chest and stomped on it, and then slept with another guy before you even broke up with Steve properly."
That seemed to shut her up. Good.
"And as for you kids, how many times has Steve taken a beating for you? The only ones that I've seen being respectful to him are Will and El. The rest of you... You've all been the victims of bullies, according to Steve. So explain to me, how in the hell can you justify the way you all treat him on a daily basis? Insulting his intelligence, bossing him around, disregarding the work he's done to change, all of that has to stop."
The kids tried to protest, but Wayne was on a roll. He rounded on Joyce, Hopper, and Robin. "Hopper, Joyce, Eddie is my kid. He ain't your responsibility. You had no right to give Steve that goddamn shovel talk as if he were still the guy he was in high school. And you, Miss Buckley? You call yourself Steve's best friend. You might wanna try acting like it.
"Now, I know that Steve sees you all as family. That's the only reason I ain't told him to cut you folks out of his life. But Steve has got no standard for how he should be treated as a human being. Whether you lot realize it or not, you've all taken advantage of that. He thinks that he deserves it, but I've seen the effort he makes every day to be better than he was. Most won't even accept that they need to be better, and it would seem that you folks are a part of that majority. I know that he deserves better, and I ain't even known him a whole year. That says something about you, don't it?
"Now, you are going to give Steve as much space as he needs. You won't ask him to babysit, you won't ask him to chauffeur you around, you won't ask him for money. You'll take some time to think about how you've treated him. And when you feel you're ready to apologize-not because of guilt or obligation, but because you mean it-you tell me. I'll let Steve know. But only when Steve is ready to see you all again, and not a second more, will I let you talk to him."
Wayne shared a vicious smile with El and Will, and then looked at the rest of them with a raised eyebrow.
"Now get the hell out of my future son-in-law's house."
Fin
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starry-bi-sky · 24 days
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my body's aching like a knock-down drag-out
and my poor heart is an open wound A Childhood Friends Au snippet that very briefly delves into Danny's life post-accident. CW: Mild Mentions of Blood, Violence, VERY mild gore ig. Danny briefly recalls getting impaled during a fight.
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What they don't tell you about being dead is that it hurts. That it can hurt. That it can hurt more than when you were alive. That when you die, the emotions you die with stick with you like a leech that just won't let go. That emotions are ugly little thorns that stick their barbs into you and grow beneath your skin; or, at least, whatever’s left of it. 
Danny is familiar with anger. It kept him warm in Gotham, when his parents weren't home from work and he and Jason were crowding Crime Alley with their presence. It kept him warm in Amity, when the fresh sting of moving was still needling into his heart and he wanted nothing more than to rip and tear into the closest person next to him.
He's familiar with violence. With fights. With death. He's seen people die in Crime Alley probably every day. From overdose, from gunshots, from stab wounds; anything that can kill, rest assured he's seen it. He's familiar with getting his own knuckles rough and bloody when other kids turn and bare their teeth at him and Jason; they're all just starving dogs stuck in a fighting pit, primed and ready to rip out each other's throats. 
Black eyes, stomped hands, bloody noses. You name it; he’s had it. Gotham is paved with the blood of her children, and Danny likes to imagine that when he was born, the doctors handed his mother a file and told her; “Take it. He’s going to need it for his teeth.” 
Danny’s mom (and dad, for that matter) was too busy trying to keep him and Jazz fed, so Danny stole the file from her drawer with Jazz’s help, and did it himself.  
He’s familiar with anger, he thought he was getting better at it these days. It doesn’t come to him as easily as it did before. Of course, that was before Jason died. 
Danny is less familiar with grief. Caring kills and Gotham kills the caring, so Danny cares very little about other people. Or he tries to. But grief hurts. His grief hurts. It hurts too much. It hurts like a bug trying to crawl out of his chest; like a rat chewing a hole through his heart. Some days he wants to dig his hands into his hair and split himself down the middle. Some days he just wants to scream. 
He’s dead. He’s dead. He’s dead. 
He wants the whole city to hear him wailing, some days. It sticks itself in the back of his throat like bile, and Danny is one wrong retch away from letting it loose. It sticks in his lungs like all the tar he’s smoked in since he was nine. It pushes and aches at his temples, in his head, like his brain is trying to swell out of his skull. His thoughts becoming so loud they threaten to commandeer his tongue.  
He has no mouth, but he must scream. 
Something they don’t tell you about being dead is that it hurts. That it hurts more than when you were alive. Something they don’t tell you about being dead is that it’s violent. That it’s bloody. Or as bloody as it can be when everyone has no blood. 
Another thing they don’t tell you about being dead, is that it’s a lot like Gotham that way.
With no threat of death, Danny’s enemies forget death itself. Blood comes easy, like water, and teeth are encouraged. Bring your own fangs to the fight. Dying is something you can just walk off. 
Danny’s been dead for three months. He can’t say he’s been walking it off easy. He’s perfected the art of turning his nails into claws since his heart was still beating, but he can’t say he’s perfected fighting other ghosts. 
Scrappy is just not enough. 
He feels like he’s back in Gotham again. Back in her death-shroud alleyways, fighting someone bigger than him. But there’s no Jason to watch his back, and Danny has to get himself out of there alone. Or he might just not get up at all. 
Black eyes, busted lips. It’s familiar to him like an old scent, Danny isn’t quite sure that he’s missed it. It’s more familiar than his fights with Dash. 
But there’s no one else who can do it but him. Not Sam, not Tucker. He can’t lose them too. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t. His heart can’t take another break, he already feels like he’s going insane. 
With no threat of death, Danny’s enemies fight like death themself. He learns why when Technus puts a street sign through his stomach one day. It pins him to the asphalt like a moth pinned by its wings. 
Danny claws at the metal like how an animal caught in a trap chews off its leg, and every move is blinding pain. He thinks he was howling, but it’s hard to tell. He couldn’t recognize the sound of his voice. 
He bleeds green. It mixes in black with the pitch blackhole in his heart, which throbs and twists and cries in time with his reckless panic. The finger-choking terror of dying again strangles out the air he doesn’t need. His blood evaporates, only to reabsorb into him. It just bleeds out again, cycling like a snake eating its own tail. 
Danny breaks his nails clawing at the metal, and eventually gets it in his mind to pull it out. So he does, and the end drips ectoplasm green as he gets to his feet. In red-vision, Danny sends the sign back with snarling, vicious fervor. The pain is irrelevant in his rage.
Only after the fight does the hole the pole left start to close. Danny doesn’t shift human until it’s gone. Unlike other injuries, a scar stays behind. Ugly; mottled, it aches for a week with every twist and stretch his body makes. He hates it. 
Being dead is agony. 
Every part of him is in pain. Every step, every word he speaks, everything he does, it is prerequisite with pain. The body is temporary, but the soul is forever, and death has carved into it with its freezing green hands and left him with never-ending heartache. It has torn from him and stolen what of him it could, and in return it’s left him with sorrow. 
His pain is his grief, and he’s sobbed in the safety of his room more times than he can count. It’s still as fresh as the day he heard the news of Jason’s death. He knows, instinctively, that it will stay fresh forever. 
In his room, Danny shoves his hands over his mouth and shrieks in whatever, muffled way he can into his pillow. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. He needs to be louder. He needs to be heard. He refuses to be. 
Being dead hurts. 
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tightjeansjavi · 19 days
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Dinner & Diatribes
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A/N: I wrote Dinner & Diatribes back in December and quickly realized that this would be a two-parter that is going to quite literally rip my heart out and stomp all over it. @corazondebeskar & @kedsandtubesocks have been my two cheerleader’s through this and I’m equally excited and dreading writing through the second and final part 😔
Summary: you’re the kind of love that Joel Miller has been dreaming of all his life
Pairing | Cowboy/bounty hunter! Joel Miller x female runaway!reader
Warnings: smut,fluff, angst, canon typical violence, major character death, cowboy in shining armor vibes, unprotected piv, implied age gap, implied abuse (not by Joel) Joel is a bounty hunter during the Wild West, reader is a runaway bride wanted for murdering three men, AU that might not 100% be historically accurate, reader has no physical descriptions such a skin tone or body type, readers nickname is Chickadee, +18 minors dni!
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Part 1 - Dinner & Diatribes
Part 2 - Goin’ to California (coming soon)
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“that’s the kinda love I’ve been dreaming of”
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Note
i would just like to thank you for your service of providing us with pjo/hoo fics daily. i’m pretty sure i’ve read every single jason fic (he’s so underrated and no one really writes for him) put there and im so happy to be able to read new ones. i also love reading your percy and leo fics. percy and leo were my first loves but jason has my heart now that im older.
would you consider doing something with jason x hades reader. where reader feels ostracized at both camps and with her family bc she just has creepy vibes seems mean but she’s really just shy and insecure because people treat her badly and leave her out of everything (including her siblings) and he notices and tries to get closer to her to make her feel more welcome. and ends up getting the hots for her.
also would you consider ever doing a jason or percy smut down the road? i loved the leo smut you just posted. i don’t have any prompts.
thank you in advance!! have a great day :)
⋆⭒˚.⋆ jason grace x daughter of hades! reader hcs
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content: jason grace x daughter of hades! reader hcs warning: language author's note: i used the word 'stupid' so many times im not even sure if im spelling it correctly anymore- THIS ONE WAS FUN BLOW THIS ONE UP YALL I BEG also, id be willing to do some small smut in the future but i think the ideas have to be my own bc i get a little uncomfy when its requested, ya know??? but idk, that's subject to change
you tried to connect with people, truly you did
you were funny and kind and confident and had the natural ability of just the right amount of sass at all times
but, simply because you were a daughter of hades, people tended to steer clear
even in camp jupiter, which you snuck into with nico to see your sister, hazel
and your siblings tried their best, but they each had their own friends and boyfriends
so, you refused to let them see they got to you
you developed thick skin, beginning to push people away before they could do it to you
until the stupid son of jupiter showed up, just wrecking through all your walls
you had been training by yourself, no one interested in a fight with the daughter of hades, when he popped into the arena, that stupidly bright smile on his stupidly perfect lips
"hey! y/n, right?"
"yup," you replied, dryly and halfheartedly swinging at the dummy
"cool...wanna spar?" he offered, his stupid smile somehow getting brighter
"pass, sparky," you huffed, instantly putting the sword away and going to leave the arena but he caught your arm, causing you to look up at his stupidly handsome face while he looked down at you
"okay, do you want go visit the naiads then?"
"no?" you replied, with a raised brow and frown
"hmmm. okay, how about the strawberry field?"
"...did nico put you up to this?" you asked, dryly
you'd yet to tug your arm free, you realized
you also didn't want to, which was the second thing you realized
"nope. free will is a beautiful thing, huh?" jason joked, his scar twitching with his smile.
"hazel?" you offered and jason laughed, shaking his head
he readjusted his hold on your arm so that now, your guys arms were linked together and he started walking (really, dragging you)
"still no. is it that hard to believe that i just want to hang out with you?" he questioned, his smile slipping slightly as you darted your eyes away
"yes," you bit out, ripping your arm loose before stomping away from the stupid, stupid, son of jupiter
you figured that would be the end of his endeavors
that you finally scared him off like everyone else
but no
he was insistent and persistent
...but he was growing on you
like mold, is what you told yourself to make it feel better
where ever you went, he seemed to follow like a bright shadow
though, there was one place you got some small reprieve from the stupidly smiley boy
(though, as time went on, you started wanting him around too)
your father's place, which you visited whenever nico did
and, ever the intuitive one, he could tell something was off with you
while nico doted on and climbed your step-mother's pomegranate trees, you were half-heartedly sipping at your pomegranate lemonade, curled up in some iron garden chair
"is something wrong, principessa?" hades asked, "you've barely drank any and i know it's your favorite."
"wh-what?? no, no, i'm- i'm okay, dad. no, no, i'm great, yeah," you sputtered out, rapidly taking a large drink to prove a point
"she has a crush!" nico called as he hung from the pomegranate tree, smirking upside down at the girl
you jumped up, grabbing a nearby skull and hurling it at the boy, which send him slamming into the ground with calls of indignation
"that's nothing to be ashamed of, my dear daughter! do tell, you know i love to know everything," your father laughed, leaning forwards and resting his head against his hands in intrigue
"you're not gonna like it," you murmured, shrinking in on yourself
"as long as it's not zeus' blasted blonde boy, i'm sure-..." hades halted as saw the way you shrunk in even more at his words before sighing
"great. more blondes," he huffed and nico and you shared a look, before erupting into laughter
with your father's (sort of) permission, you came back to camp with a new determination
jason found you easily, jumping up from his seat and rapidly approaching you, asking about your visit with your father
"dandy as always," you mused with a soft smile, causing jason to beam down at you
"you're in a good mood," he pointed out, gently
"well, you've got that effect on me, i guess," you flirted, looking up at him through your lashes and tilting your head slightly
jason flushed, instantly, coughing slightly
"wh-what? y/n-"
"let's go to the woods, jase. c'mon," you quickly redirected, grabbing his wrist and dragging him towards the forest
you were giving jason whiplash and he couldn't find it in him to want you to stop
you dragged him behind you, slowing to a stop as you glanced around, ensuring no peeping toms before turning back to jason, who was looking only at you
something he did often whenever you were around, like his eyes were unable to pull from you
"you've ruined my life, you know," you started, shoving a finger into his chest.
jason laughed, tilting his head at you in question as he could tell you were joking from the twitch of your face
"deepest apologies," jason replied, "how, exactly, have i ruined your life?"
"by being so stupidly you, jason grace. your stupid smile, your stupid jokes, your stupidly handsome face, your stupid lips-"
before you could get another word out, the boy was kissing you
and you were kissing him
and it was stupid, all the time you wasted not kissing his stupid lips with your stupid lips
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moonstreak · 2 months
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By my count we have been in this "divorce arc" zone for about six fucking months and yet STILL I feel like my heart gets ripped out and stomped on with big heavy boots every few pages. Fucking LOOK AT THIS:
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Annabel was losing her mind earlier this same morning thinking she'd lost Lenore forever, finally seeming to get that she'd gone too far. Then, after much work to salvage things with her little minion squad, Lenore asked to talk. She perked up, seemed to think all must surely be within the plan. Lenore just played her part with more fervor than usual, or maybe she was miffed at having a valuable piece taken off her board without warning. Surely she's calmed down, given how things turned out!
Lenore, meanwhile, has been trying all night before this to reconcile how this girl she loves could be such a monster and do such harm to the other people she cares about. She's now spent a morning of fury and desperation saving Duke, followed by playing up her role again with an edge of "no I actually mean this rn, I'm MAD." By this point, though, adrenaline wearing off, it feels like she's trying to rationalize this away as one of Annabel's more typical schemes gone *way* past the line at some point along the way. Surely she didn't actually *intend* for Duke to die, right?
Then, this scene comes along. Lenore gets it driven home one final, agonizing time that Annabel really does view the other misfits as nothing but pawns, at best. No matter how much Lenore truly cares for them, they are *nothing* to Annabel. And, in turn, Annabel is having it confirmed, beyond the power of any denial, that Lenore is horrified and disgusted by this. By her.
GODS this hurts.
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