#my friends aren’t speaking to me

[a-land-of-infinite-wonders]

Recommend some songs pls

#I’m so bored in study hall rn #yeah I have mocks tomorrow #don’t really give a shit #I’ve had a shitty day #like #major shitty #my friends aren’t speaking to me #well #that’s not entirely true #my two best friends aren’t speaking to me #the rest are fine #but like #they left me alone basically #and I had to find my other friends #and I don’t really have much in common with them other than mutual friends #so I just wandered around school #ended up finding a boy who I share classes with and I talked to him for a couple hours

[impossible-rat-babies]

me grabbing eyrie and shaking them is it not enough to have gone through four ships by now. is it not enough for you funny man

#first thancred then g’raha and then zenos and now I’m still thinking about redacted #I can’t even mention and expansion or it’s gonna be so obvious #moots can stash this post in a folder and in two months I’m gonna be goofy pool #me furiously filing away things into AU’s before accepting at this point there just isn’t a canon #okay okay haurchefant doesn’t count bc I never really entertained beyond what the plot gave us #and with thancred it turned into a they had sex once or twice in ARR and it wasn’t ever a relationship #even though they did end up with a messy friendship in post HW + ShB of unresolved guilt #G’raha slipped into they worked better as friends tbh #Zenos is a can of worms of you get to au’s funny man #and I’ve been vibing a lot with the one where he dies and there’s a lot of complicated grief for eyrie #and the nebulous status of what they meant to each other #enemies or friends or kindered spirit or the hero and the villain aren’t so different #I am NOT SPEAKING redacted into the world #I’m gonna rotate it in my brain #owen talks #no consistent canon we create what brings joy in the moment #and look back at what we once created with the affection of something that once made us very happy

[natsukaishii]

twt if i see one more “zhongli and tighnari’s eng vas are zionists don’t support them” tweet i’m deleting the app

#keith is jewish. #zach is also jewish. #my family don’t know abt this blog so i can speak a little more openly #not all jews are zionists. #yes many israelis are jewish. #but NOT ALL JEWS ARE ZIONISTS. #must we pin this to our forehead. #is there an automatic assumption that jewish = zionist? #“you must support israel you liked one or two twts and avoided talking about it” #jewish families are close knit and aren’t fond of differing opinions #my family watch my social media to literally make sure i’m abiding #i can’t speak out publicly about palestine for that literal reason #it would endanger me if i did. #have people ever considered that it’s simply not safe for people for some people to openly change their ways their friend groups etc #i had this discussion about zach with someone but he could lose family and friends and perhaps a large majority of the support in his life #it will never compare to what palestinians are losing. don’t even attack me for that #but whatever. i guess i’m just tired of the jewish = zionist shit #that anon ask i received really hit me hard calling me slurs for not speaking out publicly and reblogging stuff #i can’t speak on behalf of zach nor keith. but i’m not gonna stop supporting them w/o very good evidence #this is so risky to post lmao i’m just so done #watch me delete this when my anger settles #i literally never open twt but when i do theres always some bullshit

[steveharrington]

god i know this is an unpopular opinion but i wish mike flanagan had just made his stupid show and called it something else. i hate that people associate the haunting of hill house with that show, and i’m not even saying that i think the show is bad. i don’t think it’s poorly made but it’s just not….the haunting of hill house. it rearranges the characters it strips so many of them of their personalities it just fundamentally changes so many crucial aspects of the story! and shirley jackson was a genius she was a major voice that informed the horror genre we know today and it’s so bizarre to me that someone took her story, rearranged it into something barely recognizable, and still used her title. and now it’s what people think of when they think of hill house and mike flanagan goes on documentaries and says stuff like “when i created the haunting of hill house” and he has a character named shirley but she isn’t even the one who wrote the titular novel within his show, they gave that to a man, and i hate it. i hate it so much. just make your thing and say it’s inspired by the haunting of hill house fuck me

#i know i will lose followers for this i’m sorry i just have to SPEAK MY TRUTH!!! #this isn’t me being like a book purist and saying like ‘they changed eleanor’s hairstyle so the adaption is bad’ btw #he changed. everything. when i was rereading the book my friend who loves the show was like ‘so are luke and nell twins in the book’ #and i was like what…. they aren’t related…. #and when i watched the show with her i was like WHAT is going on #imagine you write a novel that like trailblazes the way for others in the genre and fundamentally informs all further haunted house stories #and then someone makes an adaptation where essentially nothing is the same #and everyone starts to think of That when they hear the title #and the dude who made the adaptation says ‘when i created x’ #i’m aware i’m worked up about this leave me alone let me rage

[frostluvrs]

Also, speaking of Ray, it bothers me that people are so focused on Sand with the 'leave him alone, don't try to save him, blah blah' but not focused on Ray leaving SAND alone. Because let me remind you, ALL of their hangouts are initiated by Ray, Ray is the one who should leave him alone! Sand always says 'no' at first, and Ray pushes and pushes until Sand gives in (which yikes when I put it like that lol)

Idk it just frustrates me when people put on Sand the whole responsability of their relationship, when Ray is the one who went after him again and again and AGAIN.

Same thing as the 'Ray never promised him anything, they said they are just friends' like c'mon, if the issue were as black and white, this wouldn't be a plotline. Yes they said they were friends, but they didn't act as such and we have SEEN this, the narrative even point it out to us in the Sand/Ray/Boston/Nick scene in ep5, with Nick being like 'oh you are all are so lovey dovey, are you going out blah blah'. Ray knows Sand has feelings for him, the end of ep5 showed us this, Sand told him he cares about him in ep6 and then again in ep7 and he still has the audacity to ask him to 'still' be friends in the preview AND trying to cockblock him. (And to be all over Mew in Sand's place of work, which again show us he doesn't give a fuck about Sand's feelings but I disgress)

It just feels like people don't put any responsability on Ray, he can do as he pleases and people treat him with kids gloves and not as an adult who should respect and care about other people and have empathy. But people don't expect that from Ray, but they expect it from Sand, and when Sand doesn't act accordingly, all hell breaks loose.

'Sand should have self respect and leave Ray' Ray should also have self respect and stop acting frankly pathetic and embarrasing about Mew, Ray is MUCH MORE pathetic than Sand is in all of this, but AGAIN people don't expect anything from Ray, he can do as he pleases and no one tells him he has no dignity.

ANYWAY sorry for the rant but I am heated lol.

i’m actually so glad you sent this! i’ve definitely been in the large amount of people getting frustrated at sand and wanting him to stand up and walk away but your anon plus other takes i’ve seen the past 24 hours definitely shifted my view a bit lol. for example i keep seeing people defend ray by saying he can’t control his feelings and sand can move on if he wants; that ray can’t actually stop him and he needs to take responsibility for his own feelings and walk away. and yes that’s true! but people can understand so much that ray can’t easily let go of mew (albeit i understand a lot of it had to do with his addiction so it is different in certain ways but he’s still in love with mew so the comparison will continue to be made by me) and understand his choice of being with him when given the opportunity but can’t understand why it would be hard for sand to walk away? especially when ray is halting his attempt to be with other people and not wanting to let him walk away? yes ray can’t actually force him to stay with him and not move on and sand has to take responsibility for his feelings but sand’s in love with ray. obviously him coming back to him and trying to ruin his hook ups will just make it harder for him to let go of ray. and sand is a caring person who wants to help ray who he knows is struggling which will make it even harder.

so yeah sand needs to take responsibility but ray needs to take responsibility and LEAVE sand alone - bringing me to my next point. i think a lot of it has to do with expecting/wanting more from sand because we don’t expect anything less than ray being absolute shit to sand. like people focus all their energy into expecting better from sand because we don’t expect it at all from ray. and hey i still don’t expect anything good from ray towards sand not after last episode and ESPECIALLY not after that preview but i’ve decided to take it easier on sand from now on.

#i feel like i have more to say but idk how to word it #but can you tell how my thoughts on sandray have shifted this ep lmfao #i’m glad i made peace with them not being endgame in ep 6 bc ep 7 almost has me wishing they aren’t #only friends the series #b speaks

[goldenhypen]

whenever i see blogs in my notifs w a jake pfp, winwin, bang chan, mark, beomgyu pfp (the list could go on but i’m unloyal enough as it is T-T),, THE WAY IT FEELS LIKE JAKE WINWIN BANG CHAN ETC ARE ACTUALLY IN MY NOTIFS AND I GET SUPER EXCITED FOR A SEC or is that just me DJDND

#y’all jake winwin bang chan mark beomgyu ricky doyoung (treasure) jaemin haechan yunho sunwoo stans pls interact w me more #i need more friends who stan the same boys i like dkdndk #CUZ ACCORDING TO THE POLL I MADE TODAY THERE ARE SOOOO MANY JAKE STANS #but how come only like two ppl ik on here are jake stans 😭 #y’all i’ve been living a lonely life this whole time for no reason 😭 #em speaks #the way half the guys i named aren’t even my biases in those groups 😭 #i’m loyal i swEAR

[running-tweezers]

Trying to brainstorm songs for my “cover musical theater songs for different Redacted Characters” idea. And I’m realizing that a lot of the ones I want to do are duets.

Which means I either need to rope my husband/friends into this OR sing them with myself. Fully prepared to do either.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #I already have some ideas that aren’t duets #but I will sing the duets by myself just you watch me #might be a bit harder to convince someone else to join me #even tho my husband/friends are also talented singers (whether or not they want to think so) #marisa speaks

[drjohnhwatson]

one of the things i hate the most is “historians will say they were just best friends”. it irritates me like a splinter under the skin. first off, the way people showed affection in the past was different; there are etiquette books warning girls in the 19th century not to kiss their friends (who are girls) on the street because it’s impolite. men would walk arm in arm together. but everyone sees that and screams that it’s gay (I’ve seen someone look at a Sherlock Holmes Paget drawing and claim simultaneously that it was gay AND that Holmes is a bottom because he was holding Watson’s arm. How is that not fucked up to assign sexual positions based on amount of affection rendered?). It comes from a modern (and mostly American) mindset that any sort of affection has to be gay, and then that’s applied erroneously to the past.

my second point is this: it’s enormously hard to call someone homosexual or queer or whatever else you may wish because they didn’t have the labels themselves coupled with how the display of affection is different than now. also the evidence is sorely lacking. most people didn’t take down a note and go “I am so and so, I enjoy sexual congress in this manner with this person and not in the way that would make me [heterosexual]. Good day, future person reading this.” You have to look at phrasing and context and the pieces that ARE left behind, but even then you generally can’t wholesale declare a historical person’s past sexuality.

and finally—hello? historians arent all straight and it’s pretty hurtful and irksome to be labelled as such. don’t you think we want to be able to find someone to connect to in the past and hold up as a beacon for other people, to say “you’re not alone” or “we’ve always been here, you just have to look”? but we can’t just run around calling everyone gay because 1) it’s not true and 2) it diminishes our credibility so that no one will believe us when we do find enough proof to make tentative claims toward the person perhaps not being straight

#I’ve found people in the past who were almost certainly gay. #BUT I can’t go “they were definitely 100% gay” I mean I can like with friends and stuff in private as a lark. #but if in a professional setting I would have to just say “here’s evidence I have that would lead me to think they aren’t straight” #there are certain professions that were friendlier to those outside the margins so to speak. #I know more about men than women and the 19th century than others #but stuff like mining sailing any type of lonesome farming ranching cattle driving and ofc theatre #anyway I know it’s a meme but it just annoys me so much becos like ofc we can’t just say they were gay #especially when a lot of times your evidence is solely they walked together or something like that #lol my thesis for my BS in history was Victorian sex and sexuality yeehaw #about me #gtoy

[autistic-katara]

when i’m in an explaining something u don’t understand to someone who’s directly experienced it contest and my opponent is the mother of a trans guy

#got reminded of that time i was in an argument w/ my mum abt how i wanted to take hrt when im older #nd she was saying how it had side effects nd id need to do research and it doesnt actually help all that much #and i brought up the suicide rates and she was like “actually it’s been proven that gender affirming care doesn’t affect those at all” #or something #like mother i am ur transgender son who has attempted suicide because of transgender reasons and u were explicitly told to use my #name/pronouns because i told them that that was mostly what was making me suicidal #i think i may be more qualified to speak on how dysphoria and suicide rates correlate than a cis woman who she/theys every tboy she meets #deadnames them whenever they aren’t around/some specific people are around and gets half her political knowledge from facebook #honestly that event is why i don’t bring up trans stuff around her anymore bcz she’s just so Like That abt it yk #it’s why i have to be passive aggressive asf when correcting her on my friend’s pronouns #cw transphobia #cw suicide #<- for the tags #trans #ryan shut the fuck up

[void-tiger]

Disability, cptsd, and adhd really has turned me into…egh. A planner. Not because I want to be. But because I either need to figure things out well ahead or I forget or avoid them, or because I can’t set them down mentally.

#tiger’s roar #…FUCK me for needing to lay down a few ground rules to stop obsessing Because Adhd Because Anxiety #because GUESS WHAT #my tendons aren’t stable. I KNOW one environment gets me disregulated so NO I DON’T want to only say ‘hi’ there #things WILL be busy. and it’s easier to go ‘hey does x day/time work’ WHEN RELEVANT #I DON’T trust serendipity. AT ALL. ZERO trust in chance. it gets me burned #and YEAH I DO have to plan That Much in Near Advance YES As Hypothericals #because I’m bloody disabled and I’ve been stressed about this for TWO YEARS ‘cause of a condition that just seems to be getting WORSE #and yeah it does affect. EVERYTHING. hobbies. classes. employment. self transportation. socializing. walking. HELL even singing #soooo Y E A H I D O need this laid out. as ‘just friends’ #before things get chaotic. and it IS on my mind ‘cause know what? #I’m terrified I won’t be able to work out student aid and lodging and class schedule at all!! #so. yeah. just mentioning ‘hey so if/when’ to a friend…should…have been fine. #but no. apparently I bumped a sore spot. while trying to AVOID it while For Once speaking up about a general need that. y’know. #would affect that. anyway. I won’t bother again. #maybe that’s finally the last nail for me to just. MOVE ON.

[litteredcorpses]

talked about this with a friend a bit last night but like. lowkey sad about how quick the iswm fandom dipped entirely. for all that it encompasses and the content it has in it, im surprised how quick people were to just drop it. like im very much still into it and I think about it often still despite being into other things but a bit hard when most people have drifted off

#speaks #shoutout to my friend n mutuals✌️ literally the last fuel of this interest #obviously I know I can still just do stuff and make content for it #like it’s not completely dead but it’s definitely not like it was when it first launched #and even then specifically I feel like it didn’t last very long. like that’s my main point here I wish the uproar was still there for it #mostly cause I feel like there’s so much to discuss still and there’s so much content to it #so yea it does surprise me how people just kinda jumped the gun after a few months >_> not a bad thing I get it there’s other things #but in space was so cool….I want to see more discussions about it…. #ones that aren’t just trying to connect wkm to iswm at the very least

[dog-violet]

when you finally watch a beloved classic movie and it’s actually good

#watxhed scream #I never know what to expect from classic horror movies bc I only really like them if they’re funny #but my friend who likes horror movies only really shows me ones that aren’t funny #max is speaking

[kabutone]

thinking about the “you speak english because it’s the only language you know, i speak english because it’s the only language you know” and feeling things

#constantly in awe of my friends whose first languages aren’t english but regularly speak to me like other native speakers #and i’ve been learning japanese for ten years but i am not nearly as proficient as they are in english #thinking about how the majority of the other animators are not native english speakers but we all speak english to each other #i feel so inadequate that at best i can only speak two languages w high enough proficiency to hold a conversation #but also how much of a privilege it is to speak english bc EVERYTHING is catered to english

[lesamis]

🐳

growing up is like. on a wednesday evening you suddenly understand that sometimes ppl who are bright and curious and full of love for the world go through sth so painful that they withdraw forever and they never get better and they may very possibly never be as well they wish they were again. and you have a cry about it alone at your desk. and then you literally just start cooking dinner

#(not a v happy post i'm sorry!) #had a letter from one of my mum’s friends today where she told me about the adventures she went on in her 20s #and she sounds so unrecognisable to the woman i know. i’ve known her all my life #but in all that time she’s been unhappy and unwell and fragile #this 24 year old who trekked through ao/nz on her own and walked on glaciers and in rainforests? who is that #and it struck me in a weird place bc i’m going through some Thing of some Weight currently where #someone i love very much is probably never going to be ok again but we’re so far apart that there’s like #genuinely nothing at all i can do to help her in any substantial or significant way like i can’t even hold her hand or speak to her #and it’s kind of an undercurrent of life rn so i sporadically cry about it a lot for a night or so #and then i just sort of. go on being in necessary denial. #and i don’t think i understood until now that my mum is on the other side of this experience #that those friends of hers i’ve only ever known as withdrawn and perpetually nervous and unhappy #aren’t That to my mum. they’re people she was young and happy and light with in the 80s #and until sth like that started happening to me w someone i love #i didn’t think about what it must have been like for my mum to watch someone so close to her change and retreat so completely #and now i just kind of. sit with it. like i was a miserable child and young adult and then i turned happy #and sometimes it’s the other way around #and it’s very often not in your power to prevent that so instead of like #keeping that person away from hurt forever like you want to. you just make dinner and that’s all #VERY SORRY FOR WHATEVER THIS IS #has to go somewhere ig!! but before someone gets worried yes i may go to counselling for this lmao. i'm fine i'm v cared for

[unintentional-sad-wizard]

I think the biggest difference I’ve seen so far working with cats versus dogs is that dogs believe in rules and cats don’t. If I stop a dog from doing something enough times (and find an alternate outlet for the behavior if necessary), they’ll eventually be like “oh! This is a thing that we don’t do. Got it!” and they’ll stop trying it. If I stop a cat from doing something repeatedly, they’re like “ah okay. I will reschedule my exploration of the kitchen counter for two minutes from now” and act equally confused every time I stop them.

Which isn’t a bad thing! I’ve really enjoyed figuring out the differences between these two species and how to work with them, and I find their different social behaviors super interesting. It’s just really funny that back when I lived with Flash (dog), he would really learn what I expected of him and would try to meet those expectations, but if I try to redirect Moon (cat) he assumes that I just personally have a problem with him in that specific moment.

#cats socialize like me and all my neurodivergent friends #they’re all just doing their own thing and letting each other do that #and dogs are more like. cooperative I guess? #like they tend to make an effort to work together and adapt to fit in with the dogs and people around them #also obligatory disclaimer that this is worded in an anthropomorphizing way and of course these aren’t their exact thought processes lol #the being of chaos speaks #man i really need to make a sideblog for animal behavior and other special interest stuff

[polyamorouspunk]

thought about what would it be like to be your lover

What it would be like to be my lover:

Listening to me talk really fast when I get really excited to talk about something

Listening to me throw shade on literally everyone

Listening to me talk about mundane things like “omg I saw a dog in the back of a pickup truck on my way to work, it was a Burmese Mountain Dog”

A lot of whining about wanting to be loved, for you to come over, for you to do something with me, etc.

A lot of cuddling

Me making food for you

Me buying you things

Me wanting to take you places

Me sending you tumblr posts that remind me of you

Me making you moodboards and stuff

Me being a very giggly/big laugh/loud person

Me being very clingy and wanting attention

Me asking for your opinion on things

Lots of compliments

Etc.

#I had a dream I was in that stage where people are like ‘they’re dating they just don’t know it yet’ with someone #and then my dream progressed to like they had asked me out but I wasn’t ready so they moved on and got married and now I wanted them #every time I have a dream like that it’s about the same person I knew irl like they’re a surrogate for my feelings which is weird #but like remembering being in that will-they-won’t-they stage with someone I love that #when people are like aren’t you dating and you’re like um well no but like kind of not officially? #like when you like someone and they like you before you officially go out and you’re testing the waters with them #I love that stage #my favorite place to be #just a lot of flirting but none of the like domestic issues that come with dating someone for a while #no rules but everything is heightened #when someone chooses you over and over again even though they don’t have to #or in my case when they don’t and then your autistic friends throw rocks at them #but shit like that #the infatuation stage before you start going out when everything makes your heart flutter (or hurt) #I miss that #punk gets mail #savvy speaks