#my criminal minds hyperfixation was wild

[trashworldblog]

aaaah! a fellow criminal mind !! the way it consumed me for months in 2020 and then i never touched it again 💀

aaaah!!! yes!! i got into it because of a girl [long story]. i got so into it that i accidently was able to guess what season and episode it was by watching random parts of an episode. (this impressed and weirded out my mom and brother) i kept it for a few years but haven't touched it for a while. i wanna watch s16, but there's other stuff i wanna watch first (like tlou). im excited it's back, though!

#my criminal minds hyperfixation was wild #mainly because of the brain rot i got from being locked inside and dealing with upperclassman high school bullshit #id like to think im better today but looking at my blog?? 💀💀 idk man #thanks for the ask!

[reinanova]

sooooo i have come to the realization that i’m probably autistic and i’ve had many hyperfixations that are related to what i now realize is probably my special interest: crime

first up, forensic science. it’s been my thing since 6th grade and i’m a year away from graduating with a forensic science degree. clearly crime related

second, criminal minds. a show of crime fighters. pretty self explanatory

third, six of crows. a found family of criminals. again, self explanatory

and finally, my most recent obsession, leverage. once again, a group of found family criminals

#kinda wild that it’s taken me this long to realize this #like babe #that’s a special interest #literally what my friend (with autism) said to me the other day #soooooo #yeah #autism #maybe #still undiagnosed but i’m getting more and more certain as i think about it #i’ll bring it up to my therapist when i see her next probably #audhd #special interest #crime #criminal minds #six of crows #leverage #hyperfixation #reinanova rambles

[birdclowns]

jan - the start of the end of my criminal minds hyperfixation. spencer reid my beloved. he's so mentally ill

feb - unsub!spencer reid is something that can be so special.... he can kill people for "science." as a treat.

march - I STARTED WATCHING 911. I watched all of it so fucking quickly. I hate buddie. I love them

april - brainrot for lone star has STARTED. making good on my vague 2023 goal of doing backgrounds more often🥰

may - fuck you, couch theory. they need to fuck nasty on it

june - one of my FAVORITE projects for the year. I love all of the canon queer characters thatre lone star, and paul means so much to me. paul's is Definitely my fav icon out of them all

july - my self proclaimed "it's my birthday month I can fuck up my blorbos if I want to" if you havent read the fic that @inflarescent was inspired to write. who are you and what the fuck are you doing with your life

aug - lap tk my beloved<333333 if he FITS he SITS!!!!!

sept - continuation of my lap tk love. I had so much fun with the colors and with figuring out how to make movement happen with a little comic. I just think they're neat

oct - we get to the gifts at the end of the year<333 a collab with @paperstorm for @thebumblecee's birthday 🥰🥰🥰🥰 again, read the fic. or I Will find you 👀

nov - GHOSTFACE TARLOS YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. birthday gift for the lovely amazing talented @mooshkat<333333 read their ghostface!tarlos series!!!!! its so good their writing makes me insane

dec - one of my favorite things for one of my favorite people. matching icons for discord of @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut and I's ocs<3333 we weren't dating when I posted this (which. wild. this should've been a sign tbh) but we started very soon after and honestly. what a great way to end the year 🥰🥰🥰🥰

(denton is from my fic read it or don't I won't threaten you but he might)

there's more december art coming <33 gifts and secret santa and I'm so fucking excited to continue to grow with my art!!! next year will be so full of projects for both art and writing

tags under cut!

thanks for tagging me @thisbuildinghasfeelings & @reyesstrand 💕💕

tagging for various round ups; @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @mooshkat @thebumblecee @inflarescent @paperstorm @orchidscript @heartstringsduet @lemonlyman-dotcom @reasonandfaithinharmony @louis-ii-reyes-strand @welcometololaland @inkweedandlizards @bonheur-cafe @sanjuwrites

#2023 art roundup #911 lone star #criminal minds #tarlos #buddie #paul strickland #tk strand #carlos reyes #evan buckley #eddie diaz #peep that boyfriend announcement #as if i havent been incredibly obvious LMAO #my art

[mays-corner]

(This post is a bit random so if you get it you get it if you don't get it it's fine)

It's 2024. I should be going to the disco, which I dislike.

Instead, I decided to hyperfixate on a Welshman.

One thing that baffles me to this day, and trust me it has happened more than once, is has anyone ever tried to protest at least a bit to still have Matt as John? Did no one try hard enough? Or have the attempts failed?

I mean-

I'm a newer fan (even with content crumbs I am a fan) still, so I can't be sure, but I'm amazed that in all these years that have passed, no one ever did anything, and now he can't even play Constantine (I think).

And now, the only role I've seen is him dubbing John 💀

Ignoring this discourse about John, I've decided to search for other roles, movies, and series, and what I've found was interesting, to say the least.

I am becoming passionate about him for various reasons. Other than wanting to revive pre-pandemic activities, I have noticed a pattern: I enjoy searching for things that I only watch. These are some thoughts I had about some things I could not find in Italy:

Hard to find (for example, I'm still searching for "The Halcyon," and the funniest thing about this is that in Italy, it was shown on TV (on an RAI channel, RAI is an Italian broadcaster) during 2017 and it's not available on their platform.

Region-locked content (the DCAU being region-locked is such a crime; we only have House of Mystery, and that's it) or even trying to watch a simple cameo when the entire series is region-locked (the Harley Quinn one). However (and this is good news), while searching for Away (one of his movies to watch), I found Tubi and used a free VPN. It was slow, but it worked, and I watched it.

Expensive (I paid Assassin's Creed Black Flag in installments, so that wasn't expensive, but still...)

It was a play, so they haven't recorded it, but to see and better understand the role he played (in this case, read), I read Thérèse Raquin by Émile Zola, and it was still effective.

Not even available on Chili (an Italian streaming platform on which you can rent or buy movies), the title only appears but is not available for streaming (lol).

Using Vinted or secondhand shops in general (it’s not the best time for me to go fully secondhand, but I suppose I could find some things there).

At the moment, I've watched just what I could easily find without resorting to piracy (which is ironic, since in Assassin's Creed Black Flag, Matt voices Edward Kenway, a pirate.).

In this list of things I could easily find, we have:

Constantine (thanks to another fan)

Criminal Minds/Criminal Minds Suspect Behavior (I had Disney Plus for a month, so I've watched it from there)

Flypaper, Adverse (Prime Video)

Arrow (Prime video)

Legends of Tomorrow (Netflix and Mediaset infinity)

House Of Mystery (Amazon prime, you have to rent it but still)

While writing this I found that "Layer cake" is on Sky, which I have and Now TV too.

Pocket Money (While watching it I just understood two words out of an entire short and I'm a c2 in English 💀)

Away, Wild Decembers, Armistice, Blood Monkey

So, you might have been asking yourself... Have I gone mad? To search and find for stuff not even available in my own country? In my own continent, too?

But I thought this is what comes with being a fan of someone, even if the career is what it is.

Considering me being unlucky, I was never able to see Matt when he acted and then had premieres at the same time.

Asssassin’s Creed Black Flag? I was 10, a child, lol.

Legends Of Tomorrow? I liked anime, manga and everything japanese.

And the list goes on...

It's nice to see what was like and what I couldn't live, gosh, I'm praying hard that we get to see him act again, I want and I wish to be present, live or not.

I wanted to make a really nice speech but nothing comes to mind, when I get it maybe I'll post it 💀

#matt ryan #nbc constantine

[thekuraning]

Late 4 ship meme uhhhh guzma x cyrus AKA parental issues/we need therapy the ship

i had to think REALLY HARD about this one grkjhgld this is the first time ive ever considered this ship!!! which is funny because i have gone down the guzma/giovanni rabbithole beforef hriuehge

please excuse both my handwriting and the weird font, i turned off my tablet and was too lazy to turn it back on again

i feel like i should explain myself for this one too

so like yeah therapy??? they meet in therapy maybe??? like. state-mandated therapy for both of them for their Crimes. And guzma comes in acting like the Big Man in the room like a completely hardened criminal like yeah man im in a GANG i was a GANG LEADER we took voer a TOWN and messed shit up hahaha whatre you here for nerd? >:) and cyrus looks him dead in the eye and says "i summoned an eldritch beast and almost rewrote all of space and time in my image." and guzma doesnt believe it first but then like one day nanus just like yeah no thats basically what happened

anyways they like. get coffee together afterwards while they wait for the bus. and i dont really see them having a big huge romantic affair or anything. im not sure if theyre ace or aro or demi or what but for them as characters i dont usually envision them really getting physical often unless its with very specific people. but i think they would form a very strong bond over their experiences with their families, the isolation they've felt in their lives and so on, and guzma's not the most book smart but despite being loud and wild he's very dependable and like. stable when he's given room to be. especially as they're both very forthcoming characters and guzma isn't afraid to speak his mind to cyrus, and will take genuine interest in cyrus's hyperfixations.

idk they have a lot to bond over i guess :thinking emoji: guzma will always be impressed by cyrus's big brain and cyrus will always be impressed how guzma can be the world's biggest dumbass but also like be very grounded and worldly about some things.

also its not so much that guzma borrows cyrus's clothes, it's more like cyrus kind of insists on him having Decent Clothes to wear when hes hanging around Team Galactic as though they do not all look like galaxy quest rejects

#bedruil #harlockshipping #kurasays #ask game #guzma #cyrus #THANK U FRIEND I HOPE U LIEKD IT

[gaybananabread]

🍌 Fandom List🍌

Thus list is subject to change, but here's what I'll currently write for. You can ask about one that isn't here, but I can't write for it if i don't know thay fandom.

...

Key:

Crossed Out - not currently taking requests, will not write it

🌕 - interested, will write for it, just not one of my babies

☪︎ - one of my faves, will definitely write for it

𓆩💚𓆪 - absolute ADDICTION HYPERFIXATION will 1000% write for it and massively enjoy myself UVU

(⋆˖⁺‧₊AN - I will write reader inserts!₊‧⁺˖⋆)

TV Shows/Cartoons:

☪︎Lego Monkie Kid

☪︎Rise of the TMNT

☪︎TMNT 2012

☪︎Big Hero 6 The Series

The Owl House

𓆩💚𓆪~Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu~

☪︎Adventure Time

☪︎Fionna and Cake

🌕Gravity Falls

🌕Wild Kratts

𓆩💚𓆪~Our Flag Means Death~

☪︎Criminal Minds

🌕Steven Universe

🌕Invader Zim

(Mainly) Netflix Stuff:

🌕Lucifer

🌕SWAT

☪︎Carmen Sandiego

🌕The Sea Beast

☪︎HTTYD: Race to the Edge

☪︎Nimona

☪︎Klaus

🌕She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

☪︎Community

☪︎Total Drama

Movies:

☪︎Luca

☪︎Deadpool 1 and 2

☪︎Zombieland 1 and 2

☪︎Guardians of the Galaxy

☪︎The Bad Guys

☪︎How to Train Your Dragon

𓆩💚𓆪~Into/Across the Spiderverse~

☪︎Big Hero 6

🌕The Mask (1994)

YouTube Shows:

𓆩💚𓆪~Ramshackle~

☪︎Lackadaisy

☪︎Helluva Boss

𓆩💚𓆪~Hazbin Hotel~

☪︎The Amazing Digital Circus

🌕Camp Camp

Books/Comics:

☪︎Percy Jackson/Trials of Apollo

🌕Heartstopper

🌕Harry Potter

Animes:

☪︎My Hero Academia

🌕Avatar: the Last Airbender

Games:

🌕Obey Me!

🌕Welcome Home

🌕FNAF SB

(Feel free to ask about any others!)

[slxthxrxn-sxmp]

A Quick Get to Know the Author

My name is PJ! No that is not my legal name and yes the “Barnes” part is inspired by the one and only Bucky Barnes. I am white and go by she/they/he! Currently I use the umbrella term Queer as what identify with because finding an accurate label is hard for me 😭

As of when I’m writing this, I am still in school so that is what my main focus is on. Writing is a hobby if mine I have had since I was really young, I also draw and crochet!

I’m awkward and on this app every so often so I’m sorry in advance if it takes me a while to reply or answer a request.

One of my all time favorite hobbies is making playlists, I have 135 of them on my Spotify account💀

As you may or may not have noticed, I am hyperfixated on Avatar by James Cameron. These fixations shift every so often but I think this one is here to stay for a while.

I use tone tags! They help me distinguish tones that aren't easily translated in text especially with my neurodivergence.

Here is a list of them if you don't know what they are:

Now onto the more silly things:

My favorite animal is a Painted Dog/African Wild Dog

My current fictional crush is 100% Jake Sully

My favorite color(s) are sage green, yellow, and a burnt red

I'm currently reading As Old as Time by Liz Braswell

I typically prefer audiobooks instead of physical copies or ebooks

My comfort show is either Criminal Minds, Once Upon a Time, or Magic of Disney's Animal Kingdom

I love hearing about peoples interests and am always willing to listen.

I have two pets, a dog and a cat.

I don't eat red meat! It actually makes my sick so i stick to chicken and fish (as well as other birds).

Tapioca pearls are a no for me texture wise but i am obsessed with popping boba 🫶

My favorite soda is root beer

Have a magical rest of your day✨

My asks are always open if you'd like to know more or have questions

#pj barnes rambles #get to know the author #get to know me

[loserdiaz]

What fandoms do you like other than 911 if you have any, im interested to hear about them

🎶

ohhh, i have a few but not any that are as strong as my hyperfixation with 911 ksjsjs

okay so i love love LOVE maisie peters (listen to her album the good witch plsss is so good!!)

and i love all for the game?? it's a trilogy of books. (if you're gonna read them, check for trigger warnings bc it gets kinda intense in some parts.) but neil and andrew are SO soulmates shaped and i love them and the fics for that fandom are INSANE in the best way possible. (my favorite author in the fandom is gluupor and they write the best fics ever)

i also love outer banks (jj and kie own me), heartstopper, the rookie, yellowjackets, the wilds, the folk of the air (another trilogy of books that it is also kinda intense at times), criminal minds and jatp (i actually started out as a jatp blog then turned to criminal minds then to the folk of the air then turned to 911 kshsksjsjs)

#anon #april gets mail 💌

[thekyloamidalatrilogy]

Masquerade/Carnival [Epilogue]

Chapter Overview

February 2023, RED Novo Hamburgo

This chapter is set 800 years after the last chapter. Here, a mysterious youth of unknown gender attends a great party celebrating the end of a period of war and disease. Could this youth be Prince Kylo Amidala, now famed to have become immortal? The mystery remains, as a mask covers his true identity...

Major Events of Chapter

A mysterious masked youth arrives at the celebration, together with a notorious criminal.

The youth fights some people who were disturbing the line.

They try to tame a wild animal, but fail.

The youth removes their mask to the only person who accepts their mission.

Chapter Background

This Chapter was supposed to take place in a carnival party at the beginning of 2020, that is, to happen earlier in the Trilogy's chronology than the Confinement Chapter, but some misfortunes happened and I couldn't attend the party. As the pandemic started, I decided as soon as it was over I would redo this Chapter properly. I also chose it to mark the end of the Trilogy.

Thousands of things changed in my life during the three years this Chapter waited to be brought to life, but regarding the trilogy the most important were the acceptance of my non-binary gender and my new hyperfixation, Chinese historical drama.

That meant it felt unnatural for me to keep the Prince as purely a Kylo Ren AU version. I wanted to create something that kept the essence of Kylo Amidala, but highlighted my new interests. It should be also a reminder of the changing nature of my hyperfixations, the ultimate ode to impermanence in a Trilogy that was already centered around this theme.

For Prince Kylo Amidala to be as free as he wanted to be, he must not exist as himself, instead as thousands of self-referencing moments, characters and states of mind. For Prince Kylo Amidala to be himself, he needs to be everyhting else.

For the Trilogy to end in true manner without regret and faithful to its core, Kylo Amidala needs to be Xue Yang.

In the end, everyone transfigurates. As did this Trilogy.

Costume

Chapter Sheet

Aesthetic: Chinese Fantasy

Theme: Transformation, mystery, new beginnings

Colour: Red, black, white

Flower: Peony 

Hux Version: No Hux

Multimedia

Previous Chapter

#carnival

[asstronauts]

hate when i watch a good show and then continue to run a shitty criminal minds blog

#my hyperfixations have no taste #my post #yes this is about poi right now #yes this is about mr. robot #yes this is about the wilds #yes this is about atla #yes this is about literally any other show #criminal minds

[errorsharingiscaring]

Moon Knight System Relationship Analysis + Other Notes (Episode 2)

Marc and Steven are here! Jake is missing! Marvel BANNED!

Disclaimer: I do not have DID and to my knowledge have never met a system. I will fix any mistakes that people point out. 

TW: A bit of Swearing.

<_>

 Straight into my heart.

That’s where they go.

I know this is how hyperfixations work but I am so baffled by how HARD these guys have clawed into my heart. I’ve rewatched the entire show beginning to end with full interest, not even wanting it as background noise for scrolling on my phone (even though I was scrolling through the Moon Knight tag) it was just that compelling – Marc, Steven, Layla, Jake, Khonshu, Arthur, just fricking everything like what the fish.

Yeah I’ll get bored of this eventually. This clinical analysis of each moment is killing the interest, so soon this is just gonna become another Marvel show that I remember being obsessed with but forget most important stuff about in like two weeks.

Until that happens, I wanna leave notes for myself when I come back to this season in the future. (istg if they don’t give a season 2 before they have Moon Knight appear in a major movie I’m gonna become a Jake Lockley stan out of pure spite.)

Let’s go!

Starting off the same way that the Alps dream ended – Marc's best attempt to make it seem like a nightmare to Steven. And honestly at any other point it probably would have worked again. Steven’s core emotion is denial, refusing to acknowledge that he may need help, refusing to talk to even his mother about his issues – Marc has probably been making Steven believe that he has the most vivid and wild nightmares in the world for a while.

But this time doesn’t work. Too much has come together, and as I said before, Steven’s “I’m gonna die” was him finally refusing denial and accepting that this is reality. So he wakes up running, with a tired sigh, broken from his own denial illusions, and the first thing he does – getting in front of a mirror and taunting Marc – was where Steven’s transformation from meek, shy nerd to someone who can actually hold his own begins. With sarcasm and frustration and anger, Steven without the lies he tells himself - “You there? Hmm? No?... Yeah [bitch], didn’t think so.”

And I think at this point when he sees Marc fronting at the museum, Steven has only an inkling about their DID. The way he called Marc not real - that was Steven calling himself insane, that he has voices in his head, you know. And while the jackal may have been invisible, Marc appearing on the cameras, very clearly a different demeanor and posture than Steven - “That’s not me” - it’s confirmation that he isn’t insane, that at least Marc is real.

But the frustration doesn’t end – the security camera footage was contradictory, jackal being “not real”, Marc “real”, and Steven, who has lived in denial for so long, can’t make his mind up fully that he isn’t crazy. So he seeks more proof – the storage locker.

Broken out of denial, Steven has no nice emotions to display. He’s frustrated, he’s lost, he’s angry, he is still very confused about what Marc actually is and how he’s affected his life. Added to his very real and reasonable anger is all the illegal stuff Marc has hidden away – all Steven sees are the worst parts of Marc, his country-hopping mercenary work that made him an international fugitive. From this point on, Steven is fully antagonistic towards a very real criminal that should be behind bars (in his opinion, at least), and the guy “that’s behind all of the bad things that have happened in his life” (in his opinion, obviously).

That’s why Steven is at Marc’s throat. And Marc reacts reasonably – how would you treat a person that obviously hates you? Be snarky and annoyed and sarcastic right back to them.

It’s miscommunication, it’s Marc’s main issue – he wants to protect Steven from this life until the very bitter end, when he has no other choice. Steven isn’t an equal partner to him like Layla is. Steven is... Well, we figure out what Steven is to Marc in Episode 5. Until then, the comparison of Marc as oldest brother, Jake the middle brother and Steven the youngest is quite accurate.

And this episode is where the main cast figures out that Steven and Marc are a system, separate alters. The one who figured it out first was Harrow – off-screen, mostly. In episode one, he calls Steven by Marc’s moniker – mercenary, someone that’s gotten in his way. But then in the Alps he meets Steven, a complete opposite of the mercenary – easy to assume that was a temporary act to get him out of a tough spot, especially the “Here you can have it! Oh no my hand has clasped around it!” (Classic taunt)

But finding Steven Grant in the museum he said he worked at changed things. From how Harrow talks to him, we can assume that while Harrow knows of the mercenary, it was probably only his second time actually meeting him – Harrow is trying to reason with a hired gun, trying to appeal to his morality, recruit him to his cult. Perhaps an inkling that Steven Grant and Marc Mercenary Spector aren’t exactly the same, but then he sees the calling card of Khonshu – flickering lights, mysterious wind, and he tries his scales maybe to kill him, maybe to prove a point against Khonshu. But it’s not what he expected - “There’s chaos in you”, scales in perpetual motion. (Which if we really think about it should be everyone’s - how can you know for sure that everything will occur in just the right way to make a person do the evil/good thing that the scales see? The whole concept of Ammit is apparently she knows you so well she can predict your actions in the future – taking in every factor around you, taking in every possibility, everything that can happen to you, heck, she can apparently see how other people around you will affect you, and she can see all of those peoples’ scales and somehow nothing contradicts itself and the future is just that predetermined that she can accurately say that this and this will happen – it’s just the same issue with time travel that MCU avoided with that “Your present is now your past” shtick. How omniscient is she, how far into the future can she see, could she have seen the world-ending events that shaped the Avengers – it would be worth freeing her for that, preparation for destruction- BUT THEN THE PARADOX OF TIME TRAVEL IF YOU KNOW THAT SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN AND THAT KNOWLEDGE IS WHAT PREVENTS IT HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THE EVENT IF YOU KNOWING ABOUT THE EVENT PREVENTS IT FROM HAPPENING AAAAAAAAAAA-)

Ammit is confusing. Harrow doesn’t seem to realize that. But he does realize that Steven Grant is not the Marc Mercenary Spector he is looking for. Few people could come to the conclusion of DID that easily, it’s not a common thing that pops into one’s head, but Harrow has some experience in that aspect. He was Khonshu’s Avatar – in a way, he had a Khonshu alter. Maybe the thought doesn’t fully form after he weighs Steven’s scales, but from how later on the “detectives” talk to Steven, it’s reasonable to assume the three of them came to the conclusion that they “should make sure”, hence the dance to bring Steven to Harrow’s community, where Harrow is then 100% sure.

Layla’s first thought seems to be “amnesia”. “You really don’t remember why we’ve been looking for this”, “I know you have the suit, you bring it out”. But then Steven dons the suit, and, subsequently, Marc. The difference between the two of them, how they’ve acted, how they look wearing the same armor – it clicks at that moment. There was her Marc – in his “best feature”. And from then on they’re separate.

So how does Steven come to terms with it? Well pretty much the whole episode people are mistaking Marc for him, and he has to keep saying (and reassuring himself) that it’s not him. The only person that seems to actually believe his dilemma – that he and Marc are not the same – is Harrow. Would be comforting, if it weren’t for the fact he wants to kill millions of people based on poor beliefs in an all-mighty omniscient being that has to transcend every time travel paradox ever created to be a good... god? Judge? Purger of the world? Thanos 2.0? Take out the mass murder and questionable moral standing and... yeah, Harrow’s comfort is comforting.

So does Steven believe he’s not insane? Maybe. Even in episode 4 he is adamant about Marc “disappearing” once he’s done with Khonshu, although that can be taken as just him biting back at Marc. If I had to pick a moment where Steven stopped treating Marc as an insanity-provoked hallucination, it would be post storage locker. At that point, he knew Marc wasn’t just a voice, he could be in control of the body the same way Steven is. And the money, the passport, it spoke to a history that this “voice” could have very realistically had, considering Steven’s frequent blackouts. He asks what Marc is, and even though his words sound ridiculous, there’s been a fair share of crazy these past few days. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard” - has a panic attack because the stupidest thing he’s ever heard is real.

DID is never used as a term in the show, it can be explained as both the showrunners/writers chickening out of an actual conversation about it, and it can be the fact that the system itself doesn’t know the term, nor do most, possibly all of the characters. But Steven listening to Marc in the conversation with Layla, seeming to understand that the two of them are separately in control of the body, is a confirmation for us that Steven is aware of what is happening to him, even if he doesn’t give it a name.

So by the time Harrow acquires the scarab and episode 2 ends, everyone important is aware that Steven Grant and Marc Spector are separate.

A bit of a tangent, Harrow is quite a complicated character. In the most metaphorical way possible, him and the Moon Knight system are the same. Both were abused by a figure of authority (Marc’s mom, Khonshu), both were shaped by that abuse (in different ways), and now are just trying to do what they believe in, seeking penance for what they feel was their fault (Marc remembers every person he killed in Khonshu’s name, even the cities he was in – he's a mercenary, it’s “what he’s good at”. Harrow enjoyed the killing, but was somehow brought out of that high and realized Khonshu enabled his most sinful desire. Marc wants to avoid killing, and is trying to be a hero by stopping a mass-murderer in the making as the only service he can offer, while Harrow wants to destroy all evil from the roots. Marc internalizes his abuse and punishes himself; Harrow wants to punish the world.). It’s tough to say if the only difference between them is the age they were subjected to their abuse, but while they are similar in many regards, they are fundamentally different.

Which is why Harrow thinks he can get Steven Grant on his side (or at least “reason” with him for the scarab) and why he is so wrong. Later on the system sees Harrow as their psychiatrist – he's more knowledgeable in this, he acts as comforting voice, but all while misunderstanding the differences between them so so horribly. Because Harrow doesn’t understand that he and the system actually want really different things, Steven is able to challenge his thinking of Ammit’s untouchability – sure, Harrow seems to understand his struggle and seems to understand the difficulty of having Khonshu as a voice in one’s head, but he may be what the system isn’t - a bit broken, almost crazy to blindly believe the purity that an extreme measure of judgement without trial is promising.

So the scene plays out as it does. And we get to enjoy every second of it.

(Tiny tiny side note – did anyone think that Steven was actually going to say Layla’s name when asked about the scarab? I know Marc is paranoid and underestimates Steven at this point, but… the boy is absolutely enamored with Layla and stopped in his tracks when Marc said “You’re gonna get her killed”, there is no way he says her name, even if he did put some trust in Harrow (which obviously no sane person would, he literally opened with “We want to kill millions of people :D”)

I guess Marc being this jumpy around Steven makes their relationship by the end all the more satisfying. This is where they started – and by god how far they’ve come.

(But Marc pls did you not SEE how Steven LOOKED AT HER he would rather get stabbed than let any harm come to her he is SIMPING.))

ADDED NOTE

Someone pointed out how Steven reacts after Harrow tries talking directly to Marc, trying to discredit Khonshu and turn the entire system over to his cult. Again, obvious failure, but at this point in the show Steven only knows Marc Mercenary Spector, he thinks the absolute worst of him. And the only explanation Marc offered for his existence was “I’m an Avatar of Khonshu, I serve him”. Steven was already doubting Ammit, calling her a weird crocodile lady – he wasn’t believing a word Harrow was telling him. When Harrow was talking to Marc about how awful Khonshu is Steven was listening and seeing Khonshu through the eyes of those that served him – and it just so happens that those are the people that hate him the most. Steven was looking at Harrow - “Trust me when I tell you, Khonshu, is a liar” - and then after “There’s always one last thing”, he looks to Marc, almost asking for an explanation, and Marc doesn’t say anything in response, just shies away from the reflection, like he’d taken a punch to the gut. He doesn’t deny what Harrow implied – that serving Khonshu diligently is just a way to speed up the process of getting rid of him. And in that moment Steven’s perception of Marc changes – and maybe, just maybe, he starts to feel a little pity for him.

Which would endear him to Marc more.

So Steven takes his stance.

Screw Ammit.

(A bit about the time travel paradoxes Amitt transcends – the more I watch this scene the more that “might do evil in the future thing” not being disproven sticks. Harrow is just utterly convinced Ammit is correct and when he questioned her in the past (that strangely quick response to child murder), he found an answer to continue his loyalty. Steven’s first thought is “trusting the judgement of a weird crocodile lady is a bit dodgy” and that stays the general idea about Ammit within the system. So on one side you have a zealot with unshakeable beliefs and on the other you have a little confused but well-spirited guy just trying to do his best. The time travel paradoxes aren’t even considered because I guess no one’s interested in the inner workings of Ammit enough to go past “oh she wants to kill children” and question how and why it isn’t unreasonable to some people?

I get the conflict, I get why Steven is as fired up about stopping Ammit as Marc is who is just there as a servant of Khonshu, but GODDAMIT CAN YOU AT LEAST THINK ABOUT MORE REASONS WHY AMMIT IS JUST THE WORST-CASE SCENARIO FOR A DREAM-LIKE ACHIEVEMENT?!)

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee! My name is Steven with a V!

He is precious. And he’s gaining a bit of confidence (even if it is misplaced). And Marc agrees – “That was a hell of a punch back there” - while also being realistic – “Someone’s gonna get hurt if you don’t let me help” - good big bro, letting Steven test out his limits and realize on his own that he’s not quite there yet, which lets Marc use minimal convincing for Steven to give up the front.

(If I had a nickel for every time Marc looked to someone to tell him what to do in a situation I think he had well under control, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s strange that this first time he’s looking to Layla specifically to reassure/convince her this is him/try to apologize/something along the lines of remembering their bond and the second time he listened to Khonshu telling him to threaten a child with death after two failed attempts at getting crucial dig site information (it’s funny, Harrow misjudged the system’s motivations and now Marc misjudges Ammit’s followers’ loyalty. It’s almost poetic. If it wasn’t for the birb. “I thought he’d talk” - motherfucker your only understanding of humans and their inner workings is 1. A guy you manipulated so hard he literally didn’t see any chance of redemption for himself other than purging the entire world of evil, including himself, and 2. A fledgling system where each of the alters were living in constant denial over each other’s existence, wtf do you, a stupid flightless fucking pidgeon, know about people?

Whatever Marc thought to threaten the kid with was 10,000 times better than HOLDING HIM BY HIS SCARF OVER A FRICKING CLIFF.)

Oh right the relevance with Marc looking/listening to other people in certain situations – specifically, the ones described above. I don’t think it’s that Marc doesn’t trust his own judgement? It would be thematically relevant, with him hating his mercenary work, but then he would ask for advice way more often than he actually does.

I think it speaks to a different part of Marc’s character. And also the situations only have the similarity of Marc thinking he let the person he’s asking for advice from down.

With Layla it’s obvious – that was the first time she’s seen him in months, after he ghosted her. The way he looked at her, the stare they shared – it held a thousand words.

With Khonshu, he failed the mission twice and now for the third time, he actually listens to what he first considers to be bad advice. “He’s just a kid”, “He’ll talk”.

The part with Khonshu can be traced back to his abusive mother – you rarely don’t listen to what that kind of authority figure tells you to do.

But with Layla it may be a type of trust. Like how for someone he cares about he’s willing to put his life in their hands. He knew he needed to get the jackal away from the people, but he still looked to Layla to tell him that. It may just be their dynamic – when the deal at Mogart’s goes wrong, he shields Layla and immediately agrees with her plan. But while he seems reluctant, he does the same with Steven. He trusts his knowledge of ancient Egypt enough to let him front when absolutely necessary, and during that chase at the beginning of episode 3, why do you think Jake was switching in when Marc had the situations under control? Could it be because Marc would’ve actually listened to Steven telling him to stop?

It’s a stretch, I know. But I like to think that Marc chooses to relinquish control to very specific people, as a way of showing them how much he trusts and loves them, when he can’t quite put it into words.)

Anyway, Marc kills the Jackal.

And Steven is claustrophobic.

I mean it’s not said, not even particularly heavily implied, but do you hear his voice in this scene?

“So this is what it’s like?

Being on the inside?”

And how gentle Marc’s voice is?

“...yeah.”

“It’s horrible.”

“It’s alright, you’re alright.”

“...I feel like I can scarcely move.”

“It’s alright just breathe through it. It gets easier.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“...

I don’t know, it’s... a long time.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Long time...”

“I don’t want it. Can I have my body back?”

“I can’t do that right now-”

“Please.”

“-Steven.”

First of all it breaks my heart, second of all this is one of the most compelling scenes in the show (If we don’t count episode five where literally every scene was perfect), this is the first time they both actually talk without the frustration and confusion that this sudden realization of their system existing was. Steven is quiet, nearly on the verge of tears, his hands are almost clasped together as if even in the reflection just a flinch is bringing him pain, and Marc is recalling the moment(s) he felt the same way and his voice is just so soft as he reassures Steven, like he’s giving him a calming hug with just his words.

Maybe he knows that Steven is claustrophobic, maybe it actually is a very difficult thing to change the perception of an eye so much that the reflection is not what it expects it to be. Either way, one of my favorite scenes in the show.

And once Steven accustoms to the feeling of being just a reflection, his usual frustration with Marc comes right back. “You can’t keep me trapped in here” - like you kept Marc trapped?

It’s an endless back and forth the whole series because, again, miscommunication, and because they don’t understand each other. Marc just wants Steven to be his “stress ball”, not involved in any of his mercenary work that he deems “shameful”, and Steven only sees the criminal in Marc, not any of the history or choices that led him there. And they don’t try to talk – I guess in a way they both think the other is ruining their lives at the moment and they just want the other gone. Put up the wall again, stop their lives bleeding into each other, go back into what life was like before – amnesia, sleepwalking, tiredness, denial.

But Steven is never going back into denial. And Marc can’t force him – eventually, he realizes he needs Steven.

But that’s later :)

Until then, Steven will shout the angriest words that, unknowingly to him, cause Marc the most pain, and he, in return, will be the most patient and self-deprecating and self-sacrificial he’s ever been just to try and reassure Steven and ease his anger.

And Marc tries to separate him and Steven, saying that his servitude is the price he pays, in the same sentence he says that they wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for Khonshu.

In an ironic twist of events, Marc, the alter aware of the system, is the one trying to claim individuality, while Steven, the one still quite unaware, is the one saying that one alter’s body count is all of theirs’ body count, refusing individuality and separate weights on their shoulders.

And notice how Marc’s tone changes when the conversation turns to Layla. The person he loves, the person he sacrificed his own happiness for, well, one of the people he’s done that for. However patient he is trying to be with Steven, he won’t let him say that he is being cruel to Layla, that he doesn’t care about her, that he’s a shitty human being for leaving her. It hurts Marc, to hear those words from Steven, who he also sacrificed time for just to convince him he had a normal life, that his fish didn’t die every time Marc had to go on a longer mission, that the accidental wakings during those missions were just bad dreams.

It hurts Marc. And it’s not the first time he lashes out in violence. He is trying his best, as a person who thinks he is undeserving of anything good in life, he is trying his best.

And he doesn’t get appreciation. Not yet.

Not to mention that Khonshu talks to him exactly how a manipulative, abusive parent would. Demeaning him, making Marc apologize, then suddenly acting nice to remind him why he stays in the first place. Pidgeon deserves to be bound to stone for eternity.

And episode 2 ends with a cool Cairo reveal!

The soundtrack slaps. It’s a fact.

Before this I haven’t really sat down to analyze the show, this was a really spontaneous thing. It’s surprising how much is in episode 2- well, after knowing the rest of the show. It’s only 6 episodes and not a frame is wasted!

It’s beautiful.

I love this show.

#moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #MKSRA #episode 2 #moon knight episode 2 #mk episode 2 #moon knight spoiilers #mk spoilers

[xtrippydragonx]

About Me

Why am I doING THIS FUCK HOW DO YOU WRITE THESE

Uhhh sup, y’all can call my Casey or Rex. I’m 21 (birthday is May 29th), a woman, and I like to draw and play vidya gamez. I’m also autistic so if I ever seem awkward in an interaction, that’s probably why lmao. Most of my blog consists of the stuff you’d typically expect on a tumblr blog; funny posts and fandom stuff. It is also worth noting that as I am an adult, this blog will occasionally contain content with adult themes.

This blog is basically just for my niche interests/hyperfixations and random shit. On this blog, you’ll find (almost exclusively reblogged) content for the following:

Corpse Bride (I’m most known for this hyperfixation)

Popee the Performer

Pokèmon

Doki Doki Literature Club (Yuri IS best girl and I WILL fight you in a Denny’s parking lot over this)

Breath of the Wild (Yes my favorite champion is Mipha, no I am not ok)

Danganronpa (mostly V3 but sometimes the other games as well)

Warrior Cats (Runningnose is my favorite character)

Minecraft

Left 4 Dead

Criminal minds

Here’s some other things I’m interested in but either haven’t really had a chance to dive into, or aren’t hyperfixations:

Kid Icarus: Uprising

Tales From Moominvalley (I’m also somewhat interested in The Moomins Return!)

Beastars

ENA

Payday (the second game, specifically)

Bojack Horseman

The Walten Files

Harmony and Horror

Five Nights at Freddy’s

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

SCP Foundation

Sally Face

Poppy Playtime (wanna be clear that no, I do not support the creators morally and have no plans to support them financially- but the game is cool and the talent that the devs put into it is worth acknowledging!)

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure (I’ve only watched the anime tho so I’m currently clueless abt anything past Stone Ocean lmao)

The Blacklist

One Piece (RIP Ryunosuke ;-; I promise that’s not a spoiler lmao)

Zombieland Saga

My ask box is always open! Whether you wish to discuss theories or opinions about a shared fandom, get to know me better, or anything else, you’re always welcome to send something my way! I love and am honored when people are interested in my ramblings, so never worry that you’re bothering me or anything, I promise you’re not.

Sometimes you’ll occasionally see some random tags on a post I’ve rebloged. This is a guide to what they mean!

‘Favs’: my favorite posts! Sometimes they’re fandom related, sometimes I just think they’re funny.

‘S.I’: stands for “self indulgent”, it’s basically a tag of me being thirsty for fictional characters (mostly Victor Van Dort). Fair warning, a good portion of it is NSFW because I have brain rot and need to be banished to the shadow realm bc horny jail isn’t enough for me anymore.

‘Answered asks’: every ask I’ve answered, compiled under a tag for your convenience! If you’re interested in my thoughts/opinions/theories/etc about corpse bride, this tag is a good place to start.

‘Might come in handy’: things that I want to save incase I need them later. Mostly drawing references/tutorials, but there’s some other things scattered about this tag as well.

‘Vent tag’: A tag where I can reblog posts with ideas or feelings I strongly relate to; I tag all my negative reblog posts with this. It will likely contain themes of depression, anxiety, trauma, suicidal ideation, etc. If this sort of content is a trigger, I would recommend blacklisting this tag.

‘A hot original on tungle dot hellsite’: all of the posts that I’ve made! This tag is a WIP so bear with me lol.

Also, please note that I am only human, and, again, autistic. This means that I may sometimes say or do the wrong thing. If I do this, it is probably because of human error, rather than malice. Please assume this is the case and let me know so I can correct my mistake. I try to make sure I don’t reblog from anyone sketchy but sometimes I can’t find a post anywhere else so if that occurs, reblogging does NOT equal endorsement here!!

Whelp, that’s about all I can think of for now. I’ll probably update this post as time goes on! Thanks a lot for reading; I hope you enjoy your visit to my little corner of the internet! Stay as long as you need, traveler /ᐠ๑•ω•ᐟ\ฅ

[happenstobehere]

intro post

- kathryn, i also go by ryn

- 20 year old nonbinary lesbian, they/them

- time zone cst (central standard)

- i have adhd so i tend to hyperfixate on things. currently my main one is criminal minds but that’s subject to change (though not anytime soon)

additional hyperfixations include (but are by no means limited to):

crazy ex girlfriend

the wilds

buffy the vampire slayer

life is strange series

- i’m neurodivergent and mentally ill so some of my content will pertain to that

- i queue most of my reblogs but occasionally i’ll reblog things when i’m active (queued posts will almost always be tagged as such)

i think that’s it! my ask box is always open so feel free to send whatever

[suzysils]

ADHD is absolutely wild my guy. Lmao ya girls most recent hyperfixation was NCIS for some reason??? I don’t even like NCIS that much, my brain simply would not let me consume any media or do anything until I had watched every available episode of this navy cop/military propaganda show??? And so I’ve consumed like 15 seasons in 2 months (which isn’t as bad as the time junior year of college when I consumed 12 seasons of Criminal Minds in 3 1/2 weeks, but it’s up there in my ADHD-depressive-episode-binge-watching). ANYWAY now I have a lot of thoughts and opinions about this show that is watched exclusively by 40-60 y/o white people, and I don’t know what to do with them?? Who will listen to my disappointment in the way they ended Ziva’s character arc (and also Tony’s and Abby’s)? My thoughts on the disposability of female characters vs. male characters or the ways the show absolutely functions as blatant military propaganda? And then the ways it surprised me and subverted that pro-military agenda? Or the way you can watch the writing and the characters catch up with times and go from casually making “lol what are you, gay?” kinda casually homophobic jokes to calling out its own characters on their biases and misogyny? Or how I feel like this show went from being about patriotism and actively promoting the war on terror/contributing significantly to the American idea of the Middle Eastern Terrorist, to a show that seems to actively use that history and its military premises to subvert a lot of the ideas its biggest demographic of viewers (namely, sheltered middled aged white people who think Leroy Jethro Gibbs is the pinnacle of American masculinity and morality) would usually support? Like I watched them specifically use the image of the strong marine/navy veteran to make a character relatable and sympathetic and then later reveal that the character was gay or suffered from debilitating PTSD or was a homeless mother refusing to ask for help because she was scared her son would be taken away. And all of those characters were people Gibbs (the moral compass of the show) felt deserved his full respect and protection. There’s more than one episode about the unfairness and cruelty of ICE and our country’s immigration policy. It’s also a show that has had a surprisingly decent amount of representation since early on, and got better as it went. Idk. Anyway, I have SO MANY thoughts and literally no one to force to listen to them lmao. 

#ncis #mine #look idk I had to get this rant out or I was gonna go crazy

[brittabottt]

We are back with the college fic nobody asked for except my brain and that doesn’t quite have a point yet but we just gonna keep trucking along. The next parts will be from each character’s POVs (Murphy, Clarke, Octavia, Bellamy, Raven) and after the POVs, a group portion. I wanna do something holiday related (Halloween, hopefully if I can get it all done by then!) so if ya’ll have any thoughts on what Modern!Day! 100 kids would do for Halloween (customs, etc etc...) let me know. Thank you so much, everyone reading and following, and I am here for any thoughts, critiques, ideas you have! <3 

The empty glass bottle rolled along the wooden floor of Murphy’s dorm, echoing through the room, like the tapping of his fingers on the keyboard. He’d been up too long, and had too many beers to quell his nerves as he pounded out his latest essay on criminal justice in the home settings. His hyperfixation kicked in around 10pm, after Raven had left, and he’d paired study after study with beer after beer, until his report had turned into a ten page report by 1am. These late night hours were when he was his best. Murphy had always skated by easily in courses, making passable grades throughout high school with little to no effort spent. That is, except the one or two classes he actually cared about, in which he spent hours pouring over research that went above and beyond what the teacher was asking for. But it had always been a 0 to 100. Either he’d take notes from someone like Raven pass, or he’d spend days and days of long nights on a single paper. John Murphy wouldn’t be described as a “grey-area” type guy. After saving his report on a flashdrive to print in the morning, he pushed back the wheely chair he’d been glued to for the duration of his studies. A little wobbly and worse for the wear after his drinks, and a lack of stretching his limbs, he carefully got to his feet, kicking an empty bottle and causing it to roll under his bed. He should join said bottle, making his way to his unmade bed, still a disaster pile of blankets after Raven had finally excused herself out to get in a few extra hours in the lab. And yet, he couldn’t get his brain to settle down. The silence of the room was too loud, the air around him was too stuffy. He found himself pacing, oblivious to the near instinctual movement until he came to due to the creaks and squeaks of the wood floor. It was old, the entire university was, but the dorms of the east quad were in particular. The dorms for the juniors were singles in the east quad, which was the only reason Murphy had accepted a room in the air condition-less, heater-less, shitty water pressure hall. Any opportunity to be alone. Yet since signing the lease for the room at the beginning of the year, he’d been avoiding time alone, too much time locked in his own thoughts. By the second week of the first semester, Murphy had grown close, regaining Bellamy’s friendship. Bellamy had taken him to his first football game, Murphy making little jokes the entire way. And then there was the thing with Raven. She had become the person, the anchor that seemed to appear as a text on his phone anytime he got too close to the tip off point. Too close to his always present demons, scratching at his ankles. Longing to cause Murphy to get caught in the chaos again. It’d been awhile since they had won. But his track record still proved them to be stronger than he ever could be. “You let them win,” Raven had pointed out once, her fingers brushing through the sides of his hair, pressing the center part to stand up more in uneven directions. It was the shortest he’d had his hair in awhile, which neither he nor Raven seemed to mind. “You invite the bad parts to lead because you’re so terrified that people will leave or reject the good in you. Not everyone is going to abandon you, not everyone is going to hurt you, Murphy.” Her hand paused, as Murphy reached up, interlacing his fingers around her wrist to remove her touch. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” His voice had lowered, adapting that edge he used, like ice, like a barrier. It came up anytime someone else’s words were tip-toeing too close to the truth. Raven wasn’t afraid of a confrontation. It was one of the things Murphy appreciated her. Her arm still hovered in space, still, being held up by Murphy’s hand, her eyes locked on his, despite his need to look anywhere else but her. “I think I understand more than you think,” she finally replied, coolness in her voice nearly matching his. She drew back her arm, slipping her wrist out of his hold. Yet her eyes stayed locked on his, attempting to follow where his gaze darted. Upper corner, lower corner, door, closet, anywhere except her. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he repeated, yet his eyes had settled on the messy sheets, the empty space between them. The edge around his voice had softened slightly. It was like a little chink of his armor had occurred, and Raven, a pro at breaking down walls, struck. “Listen to me, I’m not going to hurt you…” her eyes had dropped from his, following his gaze down to the space between them. Her hand inching its way towards his knee. Instinct took over, getting to his feet abruptly and taking steps back, like a wild dog caged. He watched as Raven drew her hand back from the now empty space, eyebrows knitting together in confusion as she watched Murphy move away. He’d acted too quickly, he knew that, changing the energy of the room, darkening the divide between them. Brushing his fingers through his hair, he sighed. “Look, you should go,” he said finally, attempting to soften his posture from the ragged defense he took on. Less beaten pound puppy and more human sure of the words he was saying. Sure of the fact that he wanted her to go. She wasn’t buying it, however. “You want me to go?” Raven asked, a slight mock in her voice, like when she was tutoring someone so beneath her genius level. “Yeah, I want you to go,” Murphy replied, pacing the squeaky floorboards of his dorm. Raven just watched. “Now, Raven. I think you should go now,” he added, finally pausing at the door. The girl scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Fine, I’ll go.” Raven pushed herself to her feet, steadying herself. She didn’t falter once as she made her way to the door, stopping right in front of him, hand on the door knob. “You know, I was wrong, Murphy,” she said, “you’re not a cockroach. You’re a leech, sucking people dry.” Her words darkened, staring at him, even though he was staring at the floor until she had said her last sentiment. His eyes darted up to hers, hurt, just for a moment broke through the stone-cold exterior he was trying to maintain. “You suck people dry,” Raven continued. “And I refuse to let that be me anymore,” she yanked the door handle, giving him one last clear before exiting the dorm, and slamming the door shut. The reverb of the door rattled Murphy, who stood static behind it, as if part of him was strong enough to chase after her. To tell her the truth ...But he wasn’t. He wasn’t strong enough. He wasn’t even strong. He stayed behind the door, motionless. And without the company, without the anchor point of Raven, Murphy’s demons, scratching just below the surface, came out to play.

#John murphy #murven #murven au #John murphy au #the 100 #the 100 fic #the 100 au

[pastelteric]

SO

I learned that Tom was on an episode of criminal minds which is wild bc I was super obsessed with that show at one point. So I looked up the episode and I SHIT YOU NOT,,,, get ready for this.

So before I fully hyperfixated on these two dorks, I was watching TV with my mom a couple of weeks ago. I saw that CM was on so I clicked it and watched. Guess what episode it was out of all of them? Yep you guessed it, the one with Tom. So basically what I’m saying is that it’s my fate to like him

#ignore this its late n im sleepy uwu #tom phelan