#my boys are a bit broken

[darkthingshappen]

🧣☺️ for ben!

A Soft Blankie and Words of Reassurance.  

Ben was home.  He wasn’t in his cage, he wasn’t in Volkov’s bed with it’s horrible chains and restraint systems.  He wasn’t at the hospital.  He was home.  In his own bed.  

When he opened his eyes, if he were here and not trapped in some horrid flashback, he could see the spring light from his mother’s garden dancing its reflection on his ceiling.  He could smell his family.  It sounded odd to think about it like that, but it was true.  His house had a smell.  Not a bed smell, just a homey, comforting smell.  It was candles and cooking and soap and aftershave and and essential oils and blankets and laundry detergent.  A smell unique to their specific combination of habits.  

Ben slowly let his eyes wander from the ceiling.  It was safe to look at the ceiling.  He looked at his walls - band posters and cheesy science posters that he’d put on the wall in high school and never took down.  Lower still… His desk, Zoe’s ring still hopefully tucked away and hidden in one of the lower drawers.  And Jake.  Ben stopped.  Jake was curled up in that stupid papasan chair that Ben, with his long lanky limbs, always felt like he was going to fall out of.  

Ben quirked his head to the side.  While it was rare for him to be left alone, it wasn’t usually Jake that was there.  Jake didn’t live with them.  Jake had been in custody.  There was a lot that was still blurry and unexplained to Ben since he’d come home, but he remembered that.  

A black reflection on Jake’s ankle caught his eye and he had to do a double take to make sure it wasn’t a black leather cuff.  He felt a flash of the phantom cuff around his own ankles and wrists and was suddenly on the verge of being back there once again.  

Ben squeezed his eyes shut and tried to concentrate on what was real.  The smell of the house again, the feel of the blankets, the garden sunlight reflecting on his ceiling.  As his breathing calmed again, he opened his eyes.  Jake was awake now.  He sat very still and looked at Ben cautiously.  

Ben glanced at Jake’s ankle again.  There was a black band there, but it was an ankle monitor, not a black leather cuff.  

“Hey, Benny.”

Ben still hadn’t fully mastered talking again.  He could talk, but conversation was hard, so he just nodded.  

Jake slowly rose from the precarious papasan chair and crept over to the far edge of Ben’s bed.  

“Sorry if I scared you.  Just, they let me out last night and… and I needed to see you.”

Ben’s eyebrows knit together in a silent question.  Why?  

Jake reached out to touch his hair and then pulled his hand back.  They all knew what happened if they did that.  Ben was grateful he remembered.  

“I… I just needed to know you were okay.  That you were okay and really home.”

Ben didn’t know what to say.  What was he supposed to say?

Jake reached down and snatched something off the floor.  

“Also, I brought this.”  He held out a soft pastel blue knitted blanket.  

The edges were raggedy where there should have been a satin ribbon.  Ben had chewed it off as a toddler.  It was his baby blanket that his mother had knitted for him while she’d been pregnant with him.  Somewhere Jake had a matching green one.  

“It was… it was in storage and I… Well, I thought it might help so I went and dug it out of the garage for you.”  Jake tucked it against Ben and the familiar sight and texture was instantly reassuring.  

“Th-thanks,” Ben managed to croak out.  He felt stupid pulling it against his chest and rubbing the delicate yarn against his face, but it was so familiar and soft and he couldn’t help but love his brother all the more for thinking of it.  Jake looked down at the floor, his face red with shame and guilt.  

“I… I’m so sorry, Benny.  I… I should have come and seen you more in the hospital.  They would have let me, you know.  Agent Vaughn offered.  But I… anyway I’m sorry.  I’m… I’m…”

Ben reached out and touched the back of Jake’s hand.  

Jake moved his fingers and brushed the scars that curled around Ben’s wrists where the leather cuff had been for fourteen long, hellish months.  

“I can’t ever make this right.”

Ben could see that sadness on Jake’s face.  His brother had aged, much like himself, over the last year and change.  Ben saw Jake’s eyes flick to Ben’s neck and he knew he was looking at the similar scars that rested there, made all the worse by countless electrical burns from the shock collar.  And the fucking slave tattoo. Ben's face reddened slightly with his own shame.

“I should go.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have come here.  I’m sorry.  I’ll just…”

Ben’s grip on Jake’s wrist tightened and he shook his head at him.  

“S-st-stay?” Ben asked.  

“Why?”  Jake whispered.  

Ben tugged the blanket closer to himself.  There were so many words that he would have to say one day.  Good, bad, angry, loving.  He was too tired for all that.  They would have to be said, shouted, whispered, or cried at a later time.  

“Family.  Y-you’re my b-brother.”  It was all he could really muster.  

Ben saw the tears well up in Jake’s eyes.  His hands flew to his face and he sobbed into them.  

Ben let his own tears flow.  

An hour later, when Ben’s mom poked her head in to check on him, she found both her boys sound asleep on Ben’s bed, his baby blanket tucked over both of them. 

Tags: @i-can-even-burn-salad @peachy-panic @deluxewhump @arwenadreamer @whumpcereal @melancholy-in-the-morning @dont-touch-my-soup @whumpsday @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @oddsconvert @melennui @susiequaz12 @morning-star-whump @crystalquartzwhump @whump-and-other-things @mylifeisonthebookshelf @reflected-pain @hold-him-down @quietshae @quietly-by-myself @there-will-always-be-bloodblood @whumping-seven-days-a-week @hiding-in-the-shadows @mj-or-say10 (I hope I’m not forgetting anyone - please let me know if I am and I’ll fix it. I’m still getting used to this) 

#brother's keeper #brother's keeper asks #ben adkins #benjamin adkins oc #ben and jake #jake adkins #Jacob Adkins oc #aftermath of captivity #aftermath of torture #ask game #siblings #my boys are a bit broken #but they love eachother #whump #whump community #whump writer #whump writing #recovery

[sygneth]

that was actually how it all started in my head, the post-apo AU that is! This whole idea has no sense whatsoever but it's fun to draw, so may happen on occasion

(later same night:)

#harry with a fuller beard looks a bit menacing #but now they are all one big feral family yeah? #and everyone is even more broken and tired than normally yay #disco elysium #disco elysium au #postapo disco inferno #disco elysium fanart #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #jean vicquemare #dolores the dog #i think that would be a tag for her #my art #fanart #artists on tumblr

[entomolog-t]

GtWAC Day 1:

Reblog your go to comfort fic

If you have not read The Stranding (and by extension, The Rescue) by the darling @belethlegwen you are deeply missing out! The sheer amount of content is truly a blessing, and considering its still being updated?? ASDFJHSLK

Belle is an incredible story teller, and this shines through in her writing so well I feel like I'm getting flashbanged by talent.

You know that typical writing advice about not introducing too many characters, especially early on as it divides the reader's attention?? BELLE STOMPS ON THAT.

AND

IT

WORKS

I genuinely can't get over how much I am in love with her characters. I must admit- I am the typical reader with one too many bonks to the head that can't seem to focus on/ remember/ care about more than 3-5 characters- that is not the case here.

Every character she introduces has my interest piqued- each one feeling alive and at home in their setting. And its not just likeable in the sense of "oh I'd be friends with them" (and she absolutely has many characters I'd love to be friends with)- its these raw and real characterizations that make you like them as a character.

They have their own mystery to them too- even if its not direct. Her characters make you wonder more about their past and why they act the way they do. They can be frustrating, immature, stubborn, even cruel- but they feel so deeply real.

Both written works from Sizeable Ship Wrecks are among my favorite things I've read- both inside and outside of the G/t sphere to the point I feel as though I could shamelessly recommend this to someone outside of the G/t community and be confident they would enjoy it.

#I LOVE THIS WORK SO MUCH AND Y'ALL SHOULD TOO #ALSO SET IN CANADA MAKES MY HEART GO BRRR #gtWAC #g/t #g/t community #g/t writing #G/t author #The Stranding #Henry is a king and I love him to bits #Mel is a shitdisturber and it makes me absolutely feral #Daniel Grant made me understand the emotion my dog must feel when I take away a toy she desperately wants to chew on #You know when dogs get something in there mouth and do the lil head shake thing??? Visceral need to do that to that man #MILLER??? SWEET BOY MILLER??? MY LOVE. DEAREST BOY. I WOULD GO TO WAR FOR HIM. PRECIOUS PRECIOUS BIG LITTLE MAN #Devon is serving cunt- as the kids say #I would crawl through 6 miles of broken glass in the dead of Canadian winter just to here Peter Martellis yell at me for “Decorum.” #Lionus makes my heart go thump #Kendrick??? ADORABLE. Belongs in a pocket. Affectionately #I COULD GO ON AND ON BECAUSE THERE ARE STILL SO MANY MORE CHARACTERS??? AND THEY ARE ALL SO GOOD ???

[jahiera]

the emrys gender.............

#guy in armor. looking sad. #she's 26 and she's also a deeply sad grizzled old man #she's also a boyish knight on her first adventure. #and she'll never be god's number one boy! #I'm trying to assort characters for inspiration and it's just like... #mr darcy (2005). heath ledger in that armor. samwise but also aragorn. that paladin in dnd honor among thieves #joan of arc. st sebastian. galahad. #brienne of tarth???? a bit. #and then also... MATT MURDOCK. #there's a tapestry here. is it rich? mayhaps not. but #she's 6' and she's got big hands that kill as easy as they heal. you see. you understand. #me making a knightly faltered hero-gone-broken figure bg3 mc: she certainly won't take over my psyche.... she won't do that to me #oc. emrys

[martianbugsbunny]

Obsessed with "my power comes from here, it comes from..." *gestures at his heart* "...and it's broken"

#I mean obvi watching his students go off to die in a war helped break his heart #but we all know what put the first and biggest cracks in: #the beach divorce #cherik #Charles xavier #the part of me that loves a tragedy can't get over the way Erik broke Charles' heart and just how lost that left him #or the way Charles helped break his own heart bc he had to turn Erik down #that particular moment is one of my top five Charles Xavier moments tho #and boy howdy does James McAvoy really sell it #Charles talking about his broken heart breaks mine a little bit #it's a very underrated cherik moment imo #xmen days of future past #xmen movies #xmen prequels #martianbugsbunny ships

[bootay-hole]

more of my doodles from school FEATURINGGGGG my ocs that i’ve never talked about and also some random designs i drew bc school is boring 👍

#tay draws #tay posts #tay’s ocs #can u guys tell that the star/heart oc duo are new ocs #i somewhat figured out their designs solely through school doodles LMAO #also i’m planning to work on the moon/sun guys a bit too. they’re pretty cool i thinks #ducktales 2017 #may duck #june duck #ty cloudkicker #now to tag the names of my ocs that i’ll probably never tag again for like a few months #Fawn of the Fauna #Florence of the Flora #Taffy Tizz #<- that’s the one with the sweater vest and curly hair with the two ponytails on each side #i had a dream about her once and decided i had to make her an oc #Laila Brooks #<- angel with the locs #Lilith Avarie #<- demon with the broken horn #also taffy tizz has a crush on the guy in the goggles beside the ty cloudkicker doodle #idk his name yet #he looks like a cleo or a felix or something #i think the guy was like an undercover spy or something and he managed to take something valuable from taffy cause. boy pretty #now that i’m typing this out i’m realising that this is basically the plot of swindle chapter 2 lol #also taffy has two love interests (including this guy) and one of them is a WOMAN!!! we love a bi poly icon #she’s not in these doodles but her name is iris <3 #tay’s art

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Screw it, I know I'm never gonna actually have time to make this into an animatic, so let me brain dump for a minute about an animatic I would make about f!Pac and f!Cell if I had the time and energy.

Alright. So let's preface this with a little meta, and a very brief discussion about Fuga Impossível and QSMP.

For starters, we know that the lore of Fuga Impossível is (more or less) a canon backstory for Tazercraft and Cellbit (and, to a certain extent, Felps). We also know from multiple instances of him talking about it that q!Pac is still very afraid of Cell.

Cell. Not Cellbit. This is an important distinction.

Cellbit is no longer Cell— he's one of Richarlyson's other parents, he's one of the Favela Five, and despite the lingering fear Pac has, he still trusts Cellbit and has repeatedly shown it throughout the series. Very recently, we've also seen their relationship heal a little bit in the aftermath of the Federation drug arc.

(I don't have the clips on hand, but there's a moment before Pac gets drugged where he's talking with Cellbit about the plan, and Cellbit offers him a handshake and Pac gives him a hug instead. After the arc and after Pac is cured, Cellbit initiates a hug and hugs him. This, however, is a topic that I want to expand on another day, but TLDR they both got some hangups they're working on.)

Anyways, about the animatic.

I Know I'm A Wolf by Young Heretics is a pretty old song, and I've seen it get misinterpreted so many times that it left a bitter taste in my mouth and a negative association with the song for a long while. That being said, I remembered it out of the blue a few minutes ago and had a "Wait, actually—" moment about it. Like I said before, I don't think I'll ever get around to making this animatic (especially since I'm still hopelessly chipping away at that Bobby Jaiden and Roier animatic with a broken tablet pen and a dream), so despite my usual reluctance to share this stuff, I want to walk folks through my thought process and why I think this song is a fitting choice for Tazercraft (but mostly Pac) and Cell / Cellbit's past and present relationship.

I'd recommend listening to the song since just reading the lyrics doesn't capture the tone of the song as well.

The lyrics for the first part go:

Dear rabbit, my legs are getting weak chasing you The snow fields wouldn't seem so big if you knew That this blood on my teeth it is far beyond dry And I've captured you once but I wasn't quite right So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me.

In my mind, I'm imagining this part exhibiting the tension between Tazercraft and Cell in the prison. Tazercraft know Cell is dangerous, but they ultimately make an alliance with him.

Can they trust Cell?

Hell no.

"So I'm telling you, that you'll be safe with me" is the moment they strike the deal (ominous piano music and all). Yes, the blood on his teeth may be dry (for the moment) but the blood is still there. Pac and Mike know better to trust Cell, no matter how charismatic he may try to be, but the situation they're in in Alcatraz leaves them with few options.

The line "I've captured you once, but I wasn't quite right" could refer to Cell taking Pac's leg (though I'm still iffy on where I personally would fit that into the Fuga Impossível timeline, but regardless, it's a fitting line for that part of their history).

The next lines are:

Oh rabbit, my claws are dull now so don't be afraid I could keep you warm as long as you can just try to be brave

In this section, I imagine Tazercraft witnessing all the terrible things Cell does in Alcatraz, and their reluctance to maintain the deal (though there's nothing they can do to get out of it now) so they just try and watch out for each other. The "don't be afraid" and "just try to be brave" lines I see being directed to Pac, who's already been hurt by the "wolf" that continues to offer them reassurances with blood still dripping down his chin.

The next section is a doozy:

Yes I know I'm a wolf and I've been known to bite But the rest of my pack, I have left them behind And my teeth may be sharp and I've been raised to kill But the thought of fresh meat, it is making me ill So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me.

With this section, we move to Cell's perspective, and here's where we tweak the story a little. We know the ending of Fuga Impossível isn't 100% canon to the QSMP timeline, and we also know that Cell eventually was able to make the (frankly miraculous) transition from Cell -> Cellbit. But what was the catalyst?

Well, why not the Island, and the isolation he had to deal with after getting stranded there? Being alone with your own thoughts can really change a person... and sometimes drive them to the brink of insanity, but Cell was already well along his way to that.

Cell has done horrible, horrible things, and based on what CC Cellbit has said about his character and the things he's made canon, his crimes started long before he ever got to Alcatraz. According to Cellbit, his character fought in a war alongside Bad in his youth, and that was where he first began indulging in his fun new hobby: cannibalism. (Hence the line: And my teeth may be sharp and I've been raised to kill). We could argue that this originated as a survival response (hell, who knows what kind of conditions he lived in during that war, and q!Bad himself said he's eaten people, so Cell might've picked that up from him), but regardless of it's origin, it still happened.

I want to emphasize that I'm not bringing this up so we can say "Oh poor baby!" and excuse Cell's actions; I just think it’s interesting to think about his past and his perspective on this whole situation. But regardless of the circumstances that set him on the path he was on, he did some wildly messed up stuff, and if I were to actually do this darn animatic, I wouldn't want to sugarcoat anything.

Now let's contrast all of that with these lines:

"Yes I know I'm a wolf and I've been known to bite / But the rest of my pack, I have left them behind"

It's human nature to crave companionship, and no matter how many people Cell's killed or how many atrocities he's committed, it's hard to unlearn that instinct. At the line "But the thought of fresh meat, it is making me ill" I think of that moment on the Island where Cell offers Pac an apple. Regardless of how you read that moment, it's an interaction that really stands out to me. Is it a power-play? An olive branch? An offer of friendship? (COPIUM, it's not). The contrast between “fresh meat” and the apple is very appealing to me though, both in the literal and metaphorical sense. I've got a lot of thoughts about that moment, but I'll save that analysis for another day when I'm not so tired, and when I have more reliable translations to base my analysis on. For now, let's leave that open-ended.

And then there's the line "So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me."

Here, the perspective is split between Cell and Pac & Mike, who are safe now. Not because of Cell — but because of each other. They leave Cell stranded on the Island, and survive the narrative of Fuga Impossível as well as the narrative of the song (where the "predator" is implied to eventually catch its prey). At the extended "me" part of the song, I imagine Cell sitting there in shock, alone on the island, realizing that even with all his threats and all his (imagined) authority, he still couldn't get what he wanted. (And what did he want? Well, he's certainly got a lot of time to think about that!)

Now, we have the final stanza: So rabbit please stop looking the other way It's cold out there so why not stay here Under my tail.

We're back to the present. No more Cell, no more Alcatraz, just Pac and Cellbit dealing with the aftermath of Richarlyson and Mike vanishing and Forever being drugged.

Because I'm changing the narrative of the song, I'm also changing the tone. This time, the offer of safety in the presence of an old enemy isn't an empty promise. Time has changed both of them, and now Cellbit and Pac are both prey and predators (if we continue the analogy of the song). They're at the mercy of the Federation, but they know they can rely on one another in a way they weren't able to before, and together they can somehow find a way to overcome this latest hardship. I like the idea of leaving things on a hopeful / positive note, especially since we know these characters eventually become good friends and even family in the QSMP universe.

ANYWAYS! Those are my thoughts. There's a lot more I could say about this (and a lot lot more I could say about Pac and Cell / Cellbit) but I'm very tired and I think this covers the jist of things (though I may go back and edit things tomorrow). Obligatory disclaimer that I'm trying my best out here vis-a-vis the Fuga Impossível lore, but if I missed the mark on any of that, please know it is solely because I can't speak a lick of Portuguese lmao. I'm always reevaluating and updating my interpretation of characters and stories based on every new bit of information I get, so I might revisit this thought again some time in the future. Cheers.

#i talk #qsmp talk #Idk the dynamic between Cellbit and Pac is so interesting to me #I'm really glad that they both seem to be healing now. #Nothing like a little bit of new trauma to wash away a bit of the old trauma #warning that this got VERY ramble-y this is not nearly as cohesive or eloquent as my usual analysis posts #I actually am still chipping away at that Animations Family animatic #but ya boy got a broken tablet so progress is slow

[hella1975]

making some unsettling realisations in the studio today...

#THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ME #me when a character reacts violently and 'badly' in response to abuse: there's...... something about him...... he is the one for me i think #oh my god bc also just like andrew the rest of the characters AND the fandom often treat touya like he's evil and insane #when in reality he's just kicking back at the man that literally ruined his life #like yeah touya's a bit different bc he's broken other laws like he's straight up just killed multiple people #but also he's an anime boy that comes with the territory. he was feeling silly #actually that's even funnier bc andrew has also killed someone. what's his excuse. he was also feeling silly #touya todoroki #andrew minyard

[dove-da-birb]

DOVE DOVE DOVE DOVEOVEODVEVVOEOEDV I JUST SAW THE ART THING YORUE DOING BC YOU TAGGED ME IN THE FREUD DRAWING AND CAN I PLEAD WITH U FOR A CRUMB OF CHALONER CONTENT ND 1H? NO PRESSURE OFC ^^ !!!

A crumb you say? Hmmm, since you pleaded, I shall feed you… for now~

He’s either confessing or plotting to steal something right from under good ol’ Warden Newton’s nose (both, he’s doing both)

#auburn! #decided on doing a full ass bust because i wanted to inflict cardiac arrest #also so you can see his broken nose; fangs; beauty marks; and lips #i put my whole lorass into this and i took a minute and had a second of ‘oh shit he’s attractive’ #included the mouth wrinkle and also a lil bit of a puffy under eye #this is what I meant by scheming #he’s giving dog boi which fits with his personality #… the turtleneck is sleeveless btw; the coat is to make sure no one gets distracted by his shoulders #i know you won’t see this for a bit but i am not normal about him #ikevamp oc #ikevamp chaloner

[francy-sketches]

i know she's not saying this bc she actually cares about what's best for him but she kinda went off so true queen. he is just a little guy he should not be in charge of a country

#.txt #broken clock etc #get my boy away from that ugly ass chair asap 🔫 #its not good for his mental health i think #monarchy is bad for exploiting peasants or whatever but more importantly it makes the king sad :( the king who is just a little boy :( #like honestly if she wasnt abusive she would not be doing anything wrong imo #god forbid she wants to rule for a little bit -_- let her be a girlboss #'but he should be learning how to rule' he's 8 he's not even done learning his multiplication tables

[blujayonthewing]

throwback to the two best selfies I've ever taken

#birthday present from my husband that year 😌💕 #also I made the desk selfie joke before realizing I was in fact wearing a snorlax colored dress at that very moment #so needless to say this is me as a pokemon trainer #he's a Couch Boy! too big to lay with in bed but perfect size and shape to sit with or lay on as part of a pile of throw pillows #we finally have a couch in the basement so he's been restored to his rightful place (he'd been relegated to a broken gaming chair for a bit #about me #me

[kakyogay]

ah yes I missed the days where all the references that existed for a character was bullshit and hard to make out because they were recently added or barely in the game

anyways look at this goofy ahh render on the wiki

#they fucked up my boy #I'd love it if steel wool made a not broken render because holy shit some parts are really hard to figure out #like what if he had markings on his chest or something more going on with his head #anyways I like the fanmade one more #like they made him bland besides a few funky features on his face and head #I need my boy that I waited a year to see to look silly not just have different colored segments #also they don't have the monty golf ride cut out on the wiki when that would help quite a bit #I guess I'll look at someone's playthrough to get a good reference 😔

[stackthedeck]

the character most massacred by the mcu was flash thompson

#like flash is a fine character in the mcu but he's not my boy #like this daddy's money rich boy fucking misses the point #the whole thing is that flash and peter are more similar than they realize #flash is a critique of violence as a means of problem-solving and toxic masculinity and how the police and military are broken systems #sure mcu flash is neglected but 616 is abused almost groomed for violence #and yet peter and him are friends eventually #it's different #like mcu flash is the last bit of class critique in mcu spider-man stories #idk like mcu flash is almost closer to harry

[qeyond]

So. B and A getting super high together. B has an insanely high tolerance and A only smokes maybe once or twice a semester, if studying allows. A has a Horrible high and is super on edge and anxious, but B makes them feel really safe so they're not completely bugging out. B is just vibin' and having fun, but also being a bit of a Shit Disturber. Keeps bringing up creepypastas and A ends up sitting snuggled up super close to B on the couch with their arm around B's. A being all "heyy this is getting really scary :(" and B being like "haha, oh I'm so sorry~. We can talk about something else..." and A getting relaxed and :). But then B interjects: " So yeah... you know The Bathroom Head?" and A shoves him and is all ">:((!!!! LISTEN!!! ITS SO SCARY, OKAY!! I HATE YOU!!!" They're both laughing and it's very soft and intimate, but in a very queer found family kinda way.

#qeyond sucks #i have many dynamics and relationships i love to put B in #but most importantly and dear to my heart is his relationship with A #for me its very queer found family siblings #A is the one that acts older and wiser but is kind of hot headed and easily moody and anxious #B is a lot more opportunistic to act out and cause problems but is a bit more 'nothing matters' #they mesh like puzzle pieces and experience a deep love for eachother that is hard to explain #but its also really really funny because as much as im like ' B is me and I am B' on here #A is literally just a piece of my heart. my lil oc baby blue boy. #i take the broken pieces of me and i make them hold eachother close and never let go #i make them love eachother and sooth eachother and i make them safe :3 #ANYWAY SORRY IM A LIL STONED RN BUT UH #bonus: B carves SWED into desks in the wammy house lecture hall. #and also that Cool S kids use to do #weed #drugs #smoking #beyond birthday #death note #also i hope you all understand what i meant by The Bathroom Head #those fears that make you run up the stairs real fast at night #A is embarrassed about having them and B completely understands but thinks its so funny also #A gets it from me. so does B.

[code31-onthedancefloor]

i have a kind-of version of my own Ulixes backstory that is wedged halfway between middle class and working class. this is mostly just abt his family’s economic status and im still workshopping it but here is a summary anyway:

Ulixes' family, in the economic boon of Revachol a few decades prior, became comfortably middle class. They afforded the purchase of a pretty big house in the less-wealthy areas of East Revachol. This was entirely leveraged on the faith that industries the family's working men were established in did not fail. I imagine those business were stuff like architectural planning, plumbing - shit like that. The family had a bunch of kids, the house mortgage was paid off, the Bücher family Own that house now, blah blah blah. Of course, profitable revacholian industries eventually failed spectacularly and everyone went out of business and could barely find work. Their finances slipped from the Middlest of Middle class down to lower middle class at best, then right on the line of working class. No longer able to afford maintenance, parts of the family home slowly fell into a state of disrepair as the older generations aged out of the workforce and the new members just couldn't manage the upkeep of the place on top of struggling with job hunting, etc... I'm thinking Streetcar Named Desire-type backstory here. The family still hasn't sold the house, because it's basically the only thing they properly Own still. As for family dynamics... It's a lot of 'legacy' type bullshit that gets thrown around. Attempting to outdo each other with slightly higher-paying jobs, skipping meals to siphon away little piles of wealth that would barely pay rent in Jamrock for a month. Realistically, no one will ever rekindle the wealth of their families' yesteryear - all they have is an decaying husk of opulence, and a few pieces of jewelry to sell when there's another famine. Ulixes probably works part-time somewhere to afford to bunk outside the family home. Perhaps his father also regretted selling something whose funds he used to put Ulixes into further education. Something like parental expectation, 'sacrifice', and - in their minds - a last-ditch attempt at scrounging a 'respectable' middle class wage for the family, as they age. Something like sacrificing material heirlooms; sacrificing Ulixes to the free market in order to get put into a decent carehome. It's nothing but tragic.

#That Boy Has Complexes! #wrote this in like 10mins its a bit sloppy but eh #for this... what originally drew uli to inframaterialism is his disillusionment with his family #his relationship to his siblings is kind of... 'what are you doing here. arent you supposed to be studying or something?' #he isn't fuck the world/pissfaggot's level of poseur. at least in my brain lol #also i dont really want to touch on ulixes' parental/familial dysfunction in this too much #partially because i would need to read about that kind of thing first before i trust myself to write it from a place of truth #there are some details which might not add up but all i have in my mind rn is a big decaying house #with plenty of empty rooms. leaking pipes and broken floorboards everywhere #the haunting of hill house but more ex-Middle Class i guess afdgshfsgt #also i Know his last name isnt necessarily bücher. this is just for the sake of simplicity. fucking... mister books. #txt #ulixes bücher #echo maker #disco elysium

[strawberrycircuits]

Our first interaction was me explaining some of the stuff in lu to you and mutually complaining about it and I think we should do that again. Anyway here's a picture of me suffering after seeing many wretched takes about sksw link (influenced by lu or straight up lu that's wrong) and dreading the ones that will come tomorrow (lu update tonight)

ohhh. godspeed out there soldier ....

#its not even a matter of like. being upset at LU necessarily #its just like. seeing the same characterization everywhere in lieu of like. maybe analyzing the text and making your own. #ik i sound a little bit like a broken record w this but link goes through an arc thats like. genuinely interesting if u look into it! #but no its just. LU sky. over and over and over again #and im not seeking content for LU Sky im looking for content of skyward sword link #its not just him ofc but like. idk #there is a difference between sleepy and exhausted. hes canonically a bit of a fucking asshole and just straight up lies to ppl for fun #<- ('whered he go?' 'beyond ...') #he has a character and i just Dont Think Its That #lu negativity #<- tagging just in case. nothing against jojo to be clear theyre cool #its just. aaagh. where is my boy