#mostly just 'cause...these books are BRUTAL let me have this

[neptuneiris]

Wild Hearts | (One Shot)

'you, it's always been you'

pairing: prince!aemond × lowborn!reader

summary: you and he can't be together, yet the two of you have fallen for each other. but the Gods are not merciful and you both have to let go. but by comparison, your charming prince doesn't think the same way you do.

word count: 8.6k

next part • main masterlist

this is the new idea that I was talking about hehe🤭

i hope you like it a lot and first of all, i want you to know that there will be part two and nothing else. so enjoy this, dig it and let me know your opinion that is the most excited i am to read❤

enjoy and thank you so much for your support beautiful people!

warnings: angst, sex content, arranged married, minor mentions of cuts and blood, smut but not so elaborate.

The Gods can be cruel.

And for some time they have been cruel, especially to you.

You are a lady, yes, but not of a great house enough to be worth anything really big and significant. All your father can offer the Realm is a few soldiers, horses and you.

You are the only daughter of an arranged marriage trying to find their place among the Court. And when you are born a woman, your duty is to marry a suitable man, please him and give birth to as many children as possible.

That was your purpose in coming to King's Landing after Queen Alicent approved your stay at the Red Keep and you became a lady-in-waiting to the highborn ladys who also remain at Court.

But no one, not even you, could have prevented that those plans would no longer be a priority for you the moment you met Prince Aemond Targaryen.

You knew of the one-eyed prince's reputation, as well as his brutality in combat, his cold behavior and also of his recognition as the rider of the largest dragon in the world. But most of all, you knew that his disinterested and sometimes mean personality... was due to how he lost his eye at such a young age.

But that was what he wanted to show all the people of the Court and its visitors.

After such humiliating years of trying to prove himself while at the same time listening to whispers and rumors about him and the pity he caused people for losing his eye, Aemond had no interest in pleasing the Court, so he was just mean, disinterested and cold.

But with you it was all different.

Perhaps it was being alone for so long that he finally got tired of himself and let you in and see his other side, his true side that very few were privileged to see. After all, you were just a lowborn lady who had lived her whole life with the same duty as him: to please the Realm and fill its needs.

But even he never imagined that you and he would understand each other so well.

The gleam of his violet eye, charged with an unusual intensity and determination, the effect he made you feel when you looked back at him and saw his patch covering his left socket and the way he spoke and behaved with you, triggered a wave of unknown emotions and expectations in you.

Your first casual encounter with the prince began in the library, where you exchanged literary tastes. You revealed your fascination for the history of the Andals, as well as shared with him how interesting you found the stories of his family, the Targaryens.

And he shared with you his admiration for history and philosophy as well.

Your casual encounters with him continued in the library and before long, those encounters extended to walks in the gardens. Those walks became a mostly secret habit, where you not only shared equal opinions about books and history, but where you both got to know each other a little more.

And despite the growing friendship and the bonds that intertwined with every conversation and interaction, the weight of undeniable reality persisted.

However, neither of you stopped.

On some trips he had to make, on every return he would always bring some gift for you, whether it was a piece of jewelry or a new book that you don't have access to, to leave secretly in you chamber. Or he would even surprise you with a rare flower that is not seen in the Crowlands, handing it to you so delicately while you tried to keep the blush on your cheeks from being so obvious.

You too tried to look casual when you went to the training yard just to watch him train discreetly, admiring his skills and in every fight smiling proudly every time he made his opponents surrender to him.

And in the midst of everything and everyone, his violet eye always met yours.

At banquets and celebrations it was also the same. The two of you couldn't engage in conversation as such, at least not alone, so all night long, you could only exchange glances and act like complete strangers.

But in the occasional places where the two of you meet and no one else is around, you can act completely free.

He shared with you the story of how he claimed Vhagar, told you more about the history of his ancestors, even taught you some High Valyrian words, while you, who in comparison to him do not possess anything as great and exciting as he does, share with him your thoughts, dreams and tastes.

You both became friends. You became the friend he didn't know he needed and you definitely didn't expect someone like him, especially him, to enjoy your company so much.

And during those years, you couldn't blame the Gods for falling completely in love with the prince.

That was your total freedom and decision, even though you knew how impossible the situation was and that the two of you could probably never be together.

Your house is not worth enough to allow a union between you and a prince of the Realm. It was also useless to suggest it, because the answer would be no, both from the Queen and from your parents, who would have been totally pleased.

But Aemond is destined for more, you know that. And that more is definitely not you and not even close.

And despite this, you couldn't help but imagine as a fleeting dream the moment when he and you unite and become one. A dream that will never happen in which you finally become his wife and you can call him yours, just as he can also call you his, in body and soul.

But that dream is finally shattered when they announce the official betrothal between him and Lady Floris Baratheon.

It was something that was eventually going to happen, you knew it was going to happen, but still, the news takes you by surprise and your heart breaks into pieces, while everyone around you rejoices at the news and approves.

The days following the betrothal announcement become dark and sad for you. You retreat most of your time in your chamber, not having the mood to go out and face the Court, much less him.

And when you had to face the daylight, your steps became stealthy and sparse, trying to keep your distance as much as possible and avoiding any possible encounter with him or anyone else from the royal family.

Aemond of course realized the distance you took and respected it. Not because he knew exactly what happened, but because he thought you had other important matters that did not allow you to share your time with him.

It wasn't until an audience at the Court where the Queen and the Hand of the King attend to the needs of the people, that Aemond finally caught a glimpse of you. But you didn't return his gaze even for a moment. And it is only then that he tries to understand the reason for your distancing, but your eyes avoid any eye contact with him.

You spend several days living in the same way, until one silent morning, Aemond finds you in the library all alone. He knows this is not your favorite time to read, nor is it his, so to say you are avoiding him is clear at that moment.

He opens one of the doors gently and closes it audibly enough to get your attention. He sees perfectly how your whole body tenses and nerves are reflected in your gaze, as well as discontent.

That especially catches his attention and with more purpose he wanders deeper into the library, watching you completely intently and in search of an explanation, wanting to know what he has done to make his presence before you now uncomfortable and annoying to you.

"My prince," you say politely enough, bowing your head to him, but already wanting to leave.

You certainly did not expect him to appear and now you only try to hide from him as much as you can so that he avoids looking at the disappointment on your face.

"My Lady," he says, still with bewilderment in his gaze, taking a couple of steps towards you, "It is good to finally see you after so many weeks without your presence."

You force a small smile, lowering your gaze.

"It's good to see you too, my prince."

His closeness begins to unsettle you, feeling each step he takes towards you as an echo of emotions you'd rather keep hidden. And this is exactly why you desperately seek a way out, a convincing excuse to get away from him.

"If you'll excuse me, my prince, I must retire," you decide to say without further ado, hoping that it will work, "I wish you a good day."

But you only manage to move two steps forward when he quickly blocks your path.

"Wait."

Instantly you watch him intently and in awe, feeling your heart begin to beat too fast, as he looks at you confused and hopeful.

"You've been... absent lately," he says, his words laden with a mixture of confusion and longing.

You swallow hard, averting your gaze from his for a moment. You don't even want to look him in the eye but that would be rude and not appropriate behavior in front of a prince. So you have no choice.

"Yes," you say in a mumble, trying to find an excuse quickly, "I-I've had to take care of some important matters with my family. Also, my responsibilities at Court have kept me occupied with the ladies and other engagements, which has left me less free time, my prince."

And despite your explanation, really not at all convincing, Aemond can't help but feel annoyed.

"And will you stop saying that?" he inquires in a low tone and you watch him in confusion.

"What do you mean, my prince?"

"Exactly that, my title," he points out deliberately, "There's no one else here, it's just you and me. I don't understand what all the formality is about."

You press your lips together, again averting your gaze from him, as you as well as he, feel that tension between the two of you, a tension completely unfamiliar and one you have never felt before in each other's presence.

You had never felt uncomfortable in his presence and you had never wanted to get away from him before.

"I apologize. It was not my intention to offend you," you observe him with a serious expression, "If you'll excuse me, I have to leave now to attend to an engagement."

Again you try to walk past him and head for the library doors, but Aemond prevents it once again, blocking your path and pushing you back with his determined and clearly annoyed gaze.

"You are avoiding me," he sentences, firm with his words, showing his inconformity, surprising you, "Nothing is the same between both of us anymore and your explanations don't justify it," he says, with annoyance in his voice and a determination, "Did something happen that I don't know about?"

He asks, watching you with a restrained fury, mostly to see how you try to escape from him, while you press your lips together, trying not to let your look show your pain, disappointment and resignation.

But his gaze clings to yours with an intensity charged with longing, wanting to know, while the silence is uncomfortable and you feel again that tension between the two of you. Until finally you decide to break the silence to not quite answer her question, still evading it.

"This is inappropriate. We shouldn't be alone."

You say without looking him in the eye and that only increases the anger inside him more, watching you without understanding.

"Why the shyness all of a sudden?"

You bite your lips, feeling the discontent all over your insides as you say your next words.

"You are betrothed. People might think badly of you and me if they see us here alone."

"Oh, please Y/N," he tells you incredulously, annoyed, "You're acting ridiculous."

"Aemond-

"Why this sudden concern for appearances?" he questions, his tone infused with irritation and annoyance, "Everyone knows we're close, we always have been, and now it's inappropriate?" he inquire, not understanding.

You let out a short breath, closing your eyes for a moment, really not wanting this to be any harder than it probably will be.

"You don't understand," you murmur sadly, biting your lips, "You are betrothed now," you observe him with the resistance to cry in your gaze, "Now there are limits we cannot cross. And it would be best if this were no longer to go on," you say with a lump in your throat, "Your gifts and our meetings must stop, for the good of your future marriage and out of respect for your f-future... wife."

The weight of your words are felt in your tone, with sadness invading you as you utter them, as well as the ending of this... friendship.

Again the heavy silence hangs between the two of you, laden with a sadness and helplessness that neither of you can control. And although Aemond doesn't fully understand your reasons for distancing yourself from him, he knows there is something else that he still can't quite figure it out.

"Y/N, if you're upset because I didn't tell you about the plans my mother and grandsire had for me-

"No, no, I assure you it's not that," you hasten to say, hiding your sadness and disappointment, "It would eventually happen, wouldn't it?" you shrug, trying to smile genuinely towards him, but you can't, "You must do your duty and I will too, sooner or later," you say, lowering your gaze.

Aemond is speechless for a moment, watching you and nothing else, still feeling the guilt inside, while you struggle to contain your true emotions and shout to him in that moment that you love him, let him know once and for all, though it won't change anything.

"Y/N..." he murmurs, his barely audible voice full of bewilderment and a hint of pain, "Still I didn't want to-

"No, no... it's not your fault," you say again quickly, struggling to keep your composure, "Truly, it's all right. I should leave now."

He lets out a sigh, lowering his gaze for a second to look at you in concert with longing and concern.

"Can we please talk about this? I don't want things to end up like this between us."

"Don't worry," you try to smile genuinely at him, but rather a grimace appears on your lips, "I'm sure we can meet in the hallways and talk at the feast."

You tell him in a confident and assured tone, but even you know that won't be true.

"Oh and... hum... congratulations on your upcoming nuptials," you say with a lump in your throat and a forced smile on your lips.

To you, the falsity of your congratulations echoes in the air, a subtle echo of disappointment and resignation flooding your heart. Aemond tries to say something with the right words, but you don't give him the time as you finally move forward and no one stops you, each step echoing with the heaviness of what could have been and was not.

But just when you think you've managed to get far enough away, a hand gently lands on your arm, once again stopping you.

"Wait, please."

Aemond's voice sounds full of urgency and longing, making your breath catch for a second. And when you turn to look at him with the clear resignation and sadness in your gaze, his look reveals a mixture of torment and determination, frustration as well.

"I did not wish for this, Y/N," he confesses truthfully, his voice soft and emotionally charged. "It is not my desire to marry Lord Borros' daughter. That is not what I wish for myself."

Your eyes fill with tears as you hear his words, surprise in your gaze. And he stares directly into your eyes with despair, as if his thoughts are trying to be conveyed through his gaze.

And even though you have nothing to say regarding that, he continues with a confession that takes your breath away.

"Y/N..." he whispers, his expression heavy with longing. "If I had a choice, if the decision were mine, I would not hesitate in....

His words hang in the air, causing confusion in you for a moment, but as you watch him closely, his gaze speaks for him.

He watches you with attention, longing and hope, adoringly seeing the way your beautiful purple dress highlights your figure and beauty, with those precious and discreet jewels adorning your neck and fingers... his woman.

He shows you his affection and expresses it simply by observing you that he doesn't need to say anything else aloud. The meaning of her words is dispersed between the two of you, revealing a shared desire and a deep connection.

As you, upon understanding, surprise and hope collide within you, leaving you breathless at the implicit, yet clear revelation. Emotions intertwine in a whirlwind of feelings as the weight of his words sink deep within you. Your heart only beats faster, unable to believe what you are hearing, as time seems to have stopped, unable to speak.

And only then there, you can feel joy in knowing that your feelings are reciprocated, but the pain of knowing that it is now too late, simply ruins everything and fills you with pain.

"Why are you saying it until now?" you whisper with your voice broken and your gaze lowered.

"Y/N, please-

You don't let him say anything else, as with a lump in your throat and tears streaming down your cheeks, a sight Aemond doesn't like to see, you turn away from him more quickly and walk out of the library, leaving him alone with the weight of these confessions and unspoken words.

Also with a heart full of regret.

The news of your courtship came weeks after the last time you spoke to Aemond in the library.

You definitely did not expect to hear that at all, as you felt like you had been unexpectedly punched hard in your stomach and a sharp pain settled in your chest as your father spoke complacently about how he received two advantageous offers for the asking of your hand, Lord Ronan Redwyne and Lord Alan Beesbury.

Despite your father's efforts to express the importance and political benefits of such possible unions, to you it was as if the air itself had become heavier and stifling.

Only on this occasion the Gods had been good to you, as both men are the same age as you, so the fear of having to marry a man who multiplies your age and was surely going to be bad to you evaporates.

But still, you feel trapped and obligated.

Of course, your parents are quick to push you to start having conversations with both men to see which of the two is the most suitable for you.

Lord Alan, with his refined presence and gentle smile, known to be a skilled knight, is kind and very gentlemanly. You always see his attempt to make you feel comfortable with his presence, also in the topics of conversation that arise between the two, telling you about his home, his family, some stories and sharing some wishes with you.

You appreciate that, as you can tell he's doing his best, but even so, your mind reels at the thought of him being the possible candidate to take your hand, which adds another layer of complexity to your situation.

The same goes for Lord Ronan.

Despite his kindness, chivalry and the attractiveness of his face, you find no peace in the situation. You don't even care that they are both advantageous for a future marriage, all you want is freedom, to wait a little longer until you heal.

But at least you are being given the choice, a privilege not many women get from their parents when it comes time to marry and simply sell them as a trophy to the first advantageous man.

"It's a beautiful day, don't you think, my Lady?" says Ronan, breaking the silence between the two as you stroll through the Red Keep gardens.

"Yes, it is," you reply with a forced smile, lowering your gaze, keeping your pace slow.

He watches you intently.

"I just want you to know that I am eager to get to know you better, my Lady," he tells you gently and formally, "And any questions you have about me, you can tell me. Also any thoughts you have, I will be pleased to hear them."

You nod politely, feeling a little uncomfortable about the situation, unable to help yourself. And though you truly appreciate Ronan's kindness, your heart still yearns for something that now eludes you.

As you continue the walk, you strive to find something in Ronan, anything, just as you do whenever you are in Lord Alan's company, but you always fail. And even though neither of them is a bad man, you know that they too are caught up in choosing a future wife that is not entirely of their choosing.

"I thank you for your kindness, my Lord."

You say in a sincere voice, looking him in the eyes for the first time since you had started the walk,

"And also for your interest. Not many men are interested in the thoughts of women these days."

Ronan places a kind and understanding little smile on his lips, nodding in your direction.

"There is nothing to be thankful for, my Lady. And I know it's only a short time since we've begun to know each other, but I enjoy your company."

You nod again, keeping your gaze straight ahead, unable to help but feel how you still feel overwhelmed by the weight of courtship and the fact that you will soon marry him or Lord Alan.

And at the same time, reality dawns on you with undeniable clarity: Ronan and Alan are good men, but neither is him.

While both may be honorable companions, your heart still yearns for someone you can't have, feeling utterly sad and resigned, because it's not fair, not to the two of them either.

But how can you make those feelings go away fast?

And just when things couldn't be more unexpected for you, as you turn down one of the bush paths along with Ronan, you both find yourselves face to face with Aemond accompanied by Lady Floris at his side, who were walking in the opposite direction.

And the air is enveloped with immediate tension.

You knew that eventually the news of your courtship with two possible candidates to give your hand in marriage would reach Aemond's ears, but when your eyes involuntarily meet his, you see only dissatisfaction and restrained fury.

This triggers a whirlwind of emotions within you, trying to disguise your surprise and discomfort, also nerves, as well as you try to focus on your companion, trying to move on and appear unaffected by this.

"Lady Y/N," Lady Floris greets politely with a smile, breaking the silence, "Lord Ronan," she address him, "How lovely to see you both this morning."

"Lady Floris," you reply, trying to remain calm, then look almost fearfully at Aemond, "Prince Aemond," you tilt your head slightly, biting the inside of your cheek.

"My Lady," he answers you in a soft tone.

Ronan at your side also greets Lady Floris in a respectful manner, then turns to Aemond.

"My prince."

"Lord Ronan," says Aemond, in a dismissive tone, observing you attentively and at the same time in seriousness.

Aemond's tone does not go unnoticed by you, with an intensity on his face that does not go unnoticed either, as you struggle to remain calm in the face of the uncomfortable situation.

It is clear that Ronan's presence at your side does not please him at all.

As Lady Floris at his side, she attempts to carry on a polite conversation, oblivious to the tension that has taken over the moment.

"I would like to offer my best wishes to you both on your courtship," Lady Floris begins to say kindly, "Fortunately the prince and I are in the same place as you and understand what it can be to have expectations high in families if you decide to join your houses."

You feel more the knot in your stomach and the discomfort all over your body, not daring to say anything regarding that, while Aemond remains just as silent as you.

And fortunately Ronan is the one who appreciates Floris' gesture, while Aemond keeps his eye on you with an expressionless but penetrating gaze, also watching Ronan from time to time.

"Thank you, my Lady," Ronan replies courteously, "Your words are most kind and we wish you both well in your future marriage."

"Of course. We hope to see you both at our upcoming wedding," Floris adds with a kind and visibly excited smile, while you again feel your heart give a painful jump.

And since you say nothing, nor does Aemond, Ronan hastens to speak.

"Of course, my Lady. We will see you there."

With pain in your eyes, your gaze involuntarily drifts to Aemond for a brief moment, where he is already watching you. And in that fleeting moment, the looks in both of your eyes convey more than words can express.

With a polite bow, the four of you take your leave and each pair continues on their own way.

You try to focus on your steps along with Ronan's, but the echo of tension and unspoken feelings leave an unpleasant sensation throughout your body. And that's when you hope that soon, both you and he will find peace in your respective futures.

But it didn't look like that was going to happen anytime soon. Neither did acceptance.

Aemond continued the rest of his walk with Floris in the gardens with his mind still focused on the encounter with you and that boy clearly unworthy of you. He didn't even pay attention to what Floris was talking about, he had not the slightest interest and obliged, he had to complete his walk with her contributing very little to the conversation.

Even he himself could not avoid the feeling of suffocation and frustration that invaded him. Seeing Y/N, his Y/N, next to that poor boy, one of his possible candidates to take her hand in marriage, provoked a mixture of indescribable emotions inside him and he made a great effort to keep his composure.

He feels furious and emotionally on the verge of exploding, like a mad man, with impotence filling him with rage.

Why should she marry a man who was not him? Why should he be forced to witness her courtship with another man? Why couldn't he have realized that she also loves him the same way he loves her and reacted sooner?

He felt that he was really going to go crazy, so as soon as he bids farewell to Floris and leaves her in the company of the other ladies of the Court, he heads for the training yard.

Big mistake.

As soon as his presence arrives at this place of the Red Keep, the figure of Lord Ronan pulls him out of his thoughts and draws his full attention.

At least he has the decency to hold a sword.

He thinks to himself, watching as he finds himself engrossed in his own training, accompanied by other knights, practicing his sword moves. He also thinks about focusing on his own training, but finds it a better idea to meet the candidate of his dear friend Y/N, wanting to know what truly awaits her.

After all, Lord Ronan is not the only candidate, Lord Alan also frequents the training yard and will eventually see him as well. So with a determined step, he approaches him.

"Lord Ronan," he says in a cool but controlled tone as he approaches, heading towards the weapons table.

"Prince Aemond," Ronan replies, stopping his training and turning to him, "It is good to see you here as well, my prince."

His gaze assesses Ronan closely, noting his every gesture and movement. And despite the anger still flowing through his veins, he remains calm, not revealing too much of his thoughts.

"I guess you don't train enough at home. House Redwyne is best known for making sweet wine from the grapes that grow on your island," he comments neutrally, watching Ronan's position with meticulous attention.

"Ah... no, my prince," Ronan says politely, "I have had training lessons with the sword, among other weapons, since I was a young boy. So have other members of my family and I assure you we are well trained," he replies, adjusting the position of his sword, "After all, a knight must remain prepared at all times."

"Hm," he says seriously, "And that is what you have accomplished with so many years of training?"

Ronan remains calm in the face of the prince's critical gaze, though Aemond's insinuation resonates with a defiant tone.

"P-pardon me?"

"With those moves is that how you're going to ensure protection for your future wife?" he inquires with a dismissive tone, challenging Ronan with his words.

Tension begins to be felt in the air, the verbal confrontation slipping between the two men. And though Ronan maintains his composure, not wanting his words to affect him, the disdain in the prince's words does not go unnoticed.

"Appearances can be deceiving, my prince," Ronan said calmly, controlling each word to convey determination, "And my duty as protector of my future wife is not limited to combat alone. I suppose there are more important aspects."

Aemond tilts his head, watching him in confusion.

"And what aspects are those, my Lord?" he asks, clearly disinterested.

"Loyalty, anticipation and sacrifice," he replied determinedly. "Protection goes beyond sword skills; it involves being willing to give your all for the person you are sworn to protect."

Ronan's words echoed in the air, filling the space between them with a seriousness that could not be ignored. And Aemond, his brow furrowed, lets out a sigh and watches him more seriously than before.

"Do you hear yourself, my lord? Speaking like the ladies of the Court who read and listen to love ballads," he snaps, watching him in disapproval, "Loyalty, anticipation and sacrifice are not going to protect your future wife from a life-threatening attack," he says and then turns away, taking his sword and a shield from the table.

Ronan swallows hard.

"You need not worry, my prince. Still I assure you that I am well prepared for combat."

"Oh yeah?" he looks at him expectantly, turning to him with his weapons in hands, "Then prove it."

Ronan looks a little confused.

"My prince-

"Come on," he interrupts him, egging him on with defiance, discontent and agitation in his tone and look, "If you're as skillful as you proclaim, then prove it."

The atmosphere grows more tense, as Aemond waits for Ronan to accept his challenge and prove his worth beyond words. Both men hold each other's gazes firmly, with the tension increasing by the second, but neither takes a step back.

The confrontation becomes tangible. Glares charged with a subtle but unmistakable rivalry. And without further words, the air filled with the anticipation of the physical training ahead, as the two head to the center of the training yard, each preparing in their own way.

Aemond tightens his grip on his sword and without hesitation, lunges towards Ronan with fierce determination, causing the poor knight to have little anticipation to protect himself from his sword, but managing to dodge it and answer him in kind.

At first it appears to be casual training, yet Aemond wants to get a reaction out of him.

And between every clash of swords and every move full of speed and precision, at every failure of Ronan, Aemond taunts and shouts questions and insults at him in a defiant voice while demanding superior performance.

And at every failure and every taunt, Ronan's determination grows, also inevitably to the prince's provocations.

"Is that all you can do!?"

Aemond exclaims arrogantly to him, wiping the sweat from his brow, trying to unsettle him.

Ronan growls and focuses on his movements, responding with brutality and force, trying to answer every blow he threw at him, which to Aemond, couldn't be more pathetic and weak movements.

"This is what you plan to defend yourself with? This is what you have learned?" he inquires, mockingly, "What a shame."

Ronan lowers his sword a little, watching him in bewilderment and panting in exhaustion.

"My prince-

He tries to say but Aemond won't let him.

"No," he tells him seriously, "Be a fucking man and fight me back."

Aemond raises his sword again and slams it against his, causing him to lose his balance, while Ronan as best he can defends himself from their attacks, while the combat begins to attract the attention of the other knights and some people of the Court.

And only when Aemond sees that they have just started and he can no longer stand and does not even have more strength in his arms, the confrontation went from a simple duel to a battle without mercy.

And he in a fit of anger and frustration, leads to hit him with his foot in the chest with excessive force, making him gasp in pain and throwing him to the ground, and then walk quickly towards him, with purpose, raising his sword, so Ronan quickly tries to get up, raising his sword, blocking his attack.

Then Aemond's sword dangerously grazes Ronan's shoulder, knocking him back to the ground with a blow to his side.

"My prince-

"You yield!?" he exclaims to him in his madness, bringing the point of his sword to his throat.

"Yes! I yield!"

"Just like that!? So easy!?"

"Prince Aemond!"

He hears someone shout in the distance but he focuses entirely on Ronan below him.

"I yield!"

"He's bleeding!"

"My prince!" comes Criston Cole immediately.

And only at that moment does Aemond stop, breathing shakily, his gaze with barely contained fury. And only at that moment he also notices that Ronan has a wound on his shoulder with which he had brushed his sword earlier, not realizing at the time that he had wounded him.

Ronan presses his free hand to the wound, trying to stop the bleeding, watching him in horror and clearly calling for help.

Aemond squeezes his sword again so hard that it marks his white knuckles, watching everyone around him for a moment, then with a hard stare, turning to him again, angling his body so that only he can hear him.

"You are not worthy of her," he whispers in a low voice, his words laden with disdain and resentment.

And without caring about the stares or even her opponent's injury, he leaves the shield on the ground and with his sword in hand heads towards the interior of the Red Keep's castle.

Aemond knew that eventually what happened at the training yard would reach your ears. He also expected a confrontation about it, but he didn't imagine he would face your fury late at night.

His guards are required to stand guard in different hallways, so taking advantage of the fact that there are none in the hallway by his doors, you quickly make your way there to enter his chamber as fast as your body will allow.

He looks up from his book in his lap, sitting near the fireplace, watching you attentively at once, but before he can say anything, you turn to him with your lips pressed together and annoyance in your eyes.

"Have you lost your mind?" you inquire in a serious and demanding tone, looking for explanations.

And just like you, Aemond isn't having your attitude either. He's annoyed to see how you haven't taken any time at all to come to the defense of that stupid, poor, defenseless boy.

Putting his book aside, he stands up, imposing his presence on you. Despite having to raise your face to face him directly, you don't let his posture intimidate you.

"I see that that... Ronan matters too much to you, my Lady," he says in a dismissive tone, "It took you no time at all to fall for his sure sweet words and promises of love. After all, you and he are very much alike."

You inhale deeply before responding, seeking calm despite his attitude and the tone of his words.

"Ronan and I are getting to know each other, nothing more. Just as you are getting to know Floris Baratheon. But I'm not doing anything against you, yours is for sure, she's going to be your wife. But you can't go hurting and almost killing the men who can be my future husband."

He looks away from yours for a moment, irritated.

"I don't know what you expected, honestly," he tells you seriously and indifferently, "That's what happens in combat when we fight with weapons, Y/N, men get hurt. And if Ronan is weak and wasn't taught well, that's not my problem."

You stand your ground, incredulous to hear his words.

"That doesn't justify what you did. Everyone witnessed how the combat began and it was you who unfairly exploded against him, hurting him," you reproach him with determination. "His wound was deep. He needed eight stitches!"

Aemond, sick of this, averts his gaze from yours and turns his back on you, heading towards his table to pour himself a glass of wine under your confused and incredulous gaze.

"I don't understand why you're so worried, he'll be fine. After all, you still have another possible candidate for your hand, I hear," he says in a tone devoid of emotion, laden with bitterness, "Though I doubt he's much stronger than Ronan."

His voice sounds harsh, his words laden with a bitter resentment that he can barely hide, jealous.

"So this is how things will be?"

You ask him earnestly and sadly, fighting back tears that threaten to escape at any moment.

"You'll go around hurting my suitors until there are none left and I have no chance of marrying anyone else but not you either?"

Tension hangs in the air as you wait for his response, feeling the weight of your words and the clash of emotions between the two of you.

And he remains silent, staring out the window with a hard stare, as if not looking for an answer through the glass, turning his back to you and not daring to look at you at that moment.

Finally the first tear rolls down your cheek and Aemond listens as you gently sniffle your nose, then turns to you, his face showing a mixture of emotions, from hardness to the flash of regret and longing.

And he lets out a defeated sigh.

"That's not what this is about, Y/N," he murmurs in a softer tone, his expression revealing his inner struggle, "They're not worthy of you. Your father is choosing wrong."

And that's when you explode with anger and frustration, unable to contain yourself any longer.

"I just don't understand why you care so much, Aemond!" you exclaim without understanding, "You shouldn't see them as a threat because they are not. You have nothing to do here!"

You face him, as your tears fall silently, with a defiant look and your posture firm, though full of sadness, anguish and confusion, inside and outside. And he too responds to you in kind.

"Of course I do!" he turns to you angrily, exclaiming in his fury, "This does concern me because those fucking men and your father are going to take you away from me! And they have no right!"

And again your emotions boil over, fury and pain getting the best of you.

"Do you even listen to yourself? How irrational you are being?" you inquire, not understanding, "You didn't even do anything in the beginning, you are the prince, the one who had the power to do something about it and you never even once asked for my hand!" you shout at him, your voice full of reproach, sadness and disappointment.

Furious, Aemond turns around and in a burst of anger, throws his hand towards the table, causing the wine jar and the cups to fall to the floor with a deafening clatter. The sudden sound makes you jump and recoil, startled by the noise and force of the act.

He turns his back and heads for the back of his chair, leaning hard against it as he tries to contain his fury. With her breathing rapid and agitated he struggles to regain his composure, his body tensing and closing his eye tightly.

The air becomes tense and the silence uncomfortable, as Aemond fights against himself and you just allow yourself to cry silently.

When he speaks again, with a tinge of bitterness in his gaze, still not turning to look at you and his voice soft but laden with resignation, still holding back his fury.

"I wanted to," he confesses to you, his vulnerability visible, "But my mother and grandsire would never have approved, you know that."

His statement leaves you speechless, with a mixture of sadness and disappointment that he didn't even try, not once and yet...he has the nerve to do this to you.

You remain silent and the disappointment and bitterness reflect even more on your face as the tears run their course, to finally gather your courage and speak.

"Then... let me go," you whisper, it being more of a painful plea than a command.

Silence expands in the room, marking every second with the heaviness of unresolved emotions. And you, overwhelmed with disappointment and pain, understand that you have nothing more to do here and turn to leave.

You don't even care if one of the guards sees you coming out of his chamber, you don't even care if rumors arise seeing you here late at night and everything gets too complicated, you just need to get out of here soon.

And with tears still running down your cheeks and being completely heartbroken, you grab the doorknob. But just as you are about to turn it, his firm and determined hand lands on your waist and turns you towards him, stopping you.

The action takes you by surprise and you look at him without understanding, he doesn't give you time to say anything either as he places one hand on your cheek and the other keeps it firmly on your waist, bringing his body close to yours.

And still without reacting, he moves closer, his warm breath brushing against your face.

"I can't," he murmurs, his voice cracking with anguish, laden with longing and regret, "I can't," he repeats in a whisper, gently caressing your cheek, "I'm sorry."

And just then, without a thought for anyone else and without a care in the world, his lips trap yours in a passionate, desperate kiss.

Paralyzed, surprise takes you completely and you can only feel how every movement of his lips is a mixture of apology and desire, asking you to kiss him back.

His arms wrap firmly around you, clinging to you as if he's going to lose you at any moment. And unable to resist a second longer, with his soft lips and warm mouth on top of yours, he makes the world fade away around you in that instant and you kiss him back.

You place your arms around his neck and cling to him completely, moving your lips in sync with his, as he presses your body against his and lets out a gasp at the wonderful feeling of having you this way with him.

And you feel as if you are floating, this being exactly what you had dreamed and prayed for so much, wishing and praying to the Gods that this is not also one of your cruel dreams.

But this is real. It is finally happening.

So you allow yourself to lose yourself completely in it, not thinking about the consequences and not caring about anything else, as Aemond walks you around without stopping kissing you for a single moment, until his feet touch the edge of his bed.

"I love you. I love you so much, my sweet girl."

He whispers into your lips, watching you with all that love and desire in his gaze, noticing your swollen and parted lips, watching him back with the same intensity and completely surprised to hear his words.

And without saying anything back, with the actions speaking for themselves, you kiss him again, feeling that urge to cry, but of happiness.

Aemond falls down sitting on the edge of his bed and you take a seat on his lap, placing your knees on either side of his hips, clinging to his neck and kissing him slow, deep, making you feel everything.

"I love you too," you murmur against his lips, watching him with nothing but affection and desire.

He kisses you again desperately, feeling something warm in his chest at your words, holding your waist with one of his hands and the other beginning to lift the edges of your skirt, making his way to touch your bare thigh.

You gasp into his lips, feeling his warm hand and the cool metal of his rings, only to tilt your head as he begins to leave soft, wet kisses down your neck, trying to find your sensitive spot to make you shiver.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs, leaving a kiss on your collarbone, lifting his gaze to you.

"A-aemond," you gasp, feeling the hardness beneath you.

You reach up with one of your hands and remove his eye patch, wanting to see everything about him, instantly reflecting the faint light of his blue sapphire, looking so beautiful and dazzling.

You smile softly at the sight of him, then leave a soft kiss on his cheek, beginning to leave a small trail down his face to kiss him on the lips, as his hand on your thigh makes gentle, firm strokes on your skin.

Slowly, he lifts his hand from your waist to the laces of your dress, watching you attentively afterwards and needing first of all your permission. And you help him untie the knots yourself.

Your front of the dress loosens and revealing your white gown underneath, Aemond lifts one of his hands and gently traces your skin between the valley of your breasts, making you shudder and shiver, then stops at the straps, watching you again.

"May I?"

With the blush on your cheeks and the nerves in your lower abdomen, really wanting to do this, you nod.

"Yes."

His hand slowly slides the strap down your shoulder and arm, then exposes your breasts to him, making you feel more nervous, but you feel completely safe to be doing this with him.

Truly everything that happens next, giving him your mainhead and letting his calloused hands explore all over your naked body, is by choice and you think to yourself that if there is one man you would willingly trust with this, it's him.

And just as the tip of his hot, hard, heavy cock makes its way between your walls, he knows exactly how to comfort you and make you feel comfortable. Instantly blood stains his sheets, but he doesn't care at all.

And when he begins to move inside you, slowly and very carefully, waiting for you to get used to it, he wipes away every tear that escapes your eyes and comforts you with his hands and kisses, making sure that at all times you are well.

"You feel so fucking good, so warm and tight, my love."

And despite his obscene words, his actions are anything but, his movements careful and careful not to hurt you, asking you how you feel.

He kisses you sweetly and caresses your breasts, he makes sure to pleasure you too, as he understands that this is not just about him and the act is not just about fucking, but him making love to you.

He growls into your lips and you gasp as he begins to move with more purpose inside you, feeling the sweat all over your body and forehead, clinging to his shoulders and gently digging your nails into his skin also lightly illuminated by sweat.

"Do you have any idea how long I imagine this?" he whispers against your lips, moving his hips and pounding that sweet spot inside you, making you moan beneath him.

But he quiets your moans with his lips, not wanting anyone out there to hear you, it would be too risky.

"Aemond," you say his name in a moan, biting your lips.

"What's wrong, my sweet girl? Does it hurt?" he says to start moving more gently.

"N-no. It just... feels so good," you manage to say over the sensual movement of his hips that make you see stars behind your eyes.

The act doesn't last long and very soon Aemond makes you reach your highest point, making you experience a sensation you had no idea about all over your body and he also spills all his seed inside you, grunting and moaning from the pleasure as he feels your walls squeezing him deliciously.

And then, both of you sweaty and trying to catch your breath, you embrace and take a moment in his bed.

You feel a tingle between your legs that is more than gratifying and Aemond, for the first time in a long time, feels at peace and completely at ease, especially having you in his arms at this moment.

There was no time for regrets and worries, it was all done. So the two of you dive into that little world where only the two of you exist.

But even though you didn't want to think about it, you think about the future, with uncertainty beginning to invade you, as you inhale Aemond's scent, hiding your face between his neck and chest, embracing him as he encloses you in his arms and gently caresses your bare shoulder with his thumb, listening to his soft breathing above you.

You let out a sigh, close your eyes and wish you could stay like this forever, starting to feel your eyes water and that huge worry in your chest for what you just did.

When Aemond speaks.

"In the morrow I will talk to your father and ask for your hand."

He says in a soft voice and everything in you comes to a complete standstill, listening to him attentively.

"I'm sure he won't be able to resist my proposal. No one will be able to stop us when they know I have claimed your mainhead, not even my mother and grandsire. And then... we will have our Valyrian wedding and there will be no turning back," he murmurs and then places a soft smile on his lips, "You will be mine, as much as you already are now."

You feel him leave a soft kiss in your hair and you smile softly, moving closer towards him, if possible.

"Sounds like an excellent plan, my love," you whisper, grateful.

And finally you can be at peace now.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #hotd aemond #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond x reader #aemond one eye #aemond one shot #aemond x y/n #aemond targaryen angst

[marie-m-art]

There's a specific concept from Good Omens that I really like (amongst many others), that I was chuffed to also find in a Sandman and a Discworld story!

I love that in Good Omens (both book and TV), Heaven and Hell are presented as mostly redundant and ineffectual when it comes to human morality - and that Hell in particular find some of the things humans do to be pretty shocking, and/or instructive.

Opportunities for humour aside, this idea flies in the face of the common belief that the world's worst ills are the result of outside forces influencing people to do evil (ie the devil. Or ... lizard people etc? I digress). And it's unlike other stories out there that are like, "World War II was actually caused by xyz characters!" or similar. Good Omens doesn't rewrite history like that, or let us - humanity - off the hook when it comes to the big stuff, when it could so easily have done so in a universe where Heaven and Hell are literally real.

The story, of course, also credits human cleverness to humans, and celebrates the things we should be proud of, like art, music, delicious food, craftmanship, invention, etc. And it credits humans for having a propensity for compassion and goodness.

"[Crowley] did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves. […] And just when you'd think they were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved."

I love this concept because I see it as an uncoupling of religion and morality. They can both exist together, but the former isn't necessary for the latter. (This isn't the only possible interpretation; the more literal reading might be more about free will, but this is where I extrapolated it to).

From Sandman: Season of Mists Episode 2 (plot context stripped out to avoid spoilers, but skip ahead to black text if you want absolutely nothing spoiled if you want to read it).

Lucifer: "And the mortals! I ask you - why? […] Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spend my entire day sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they would otherwise find repulsive. 'The devil made me do it.' I have never made one of them do anything. Never. They live their own tiny lives. I do not live their lives for them."

And from Eric, a Discworld book (this one's related to Hell learning from humans, more than morality/free will... I won't spoil the funny by elaborating!):

"Earl Beezlemoth rubbed one of his three noses.

'And humans somewhere thought this up all by themselves?' he said. 'We didn't give them any, you know, hints?' […]

The earl stared into infinity. 'I thought we were supposed to be the ghastly ones,' he said, his voice filled with awe."

Another commonality between these two stories that isn't directly shared by Good Omens (yet...? still have another season coming …) but that I like enough to point out, is the idea that Hell is a place where people end up if they believe they deserve to go there. I like this because a lot of people are influenced to feel guilty about "sins" that are innocuous parts of normal human behaviour, so it's pretty brutal to fear going to Hell over them. There's comfort in this idea, to me. (granted, the following Sandman quote states this less explicitly but I take the same meaning from it … but lmk if I've done a reading incomprehension; I also haven't read all the books yet).

From Sandman:

Lucifer: "And then [the mortals] die, and they come here (having transgressed against what they believed to be right), and expect us to fulfill their desire for pain and retribution. I don't make them come here."

From Eric (partial footnote near the beginning):

"Interestingly enough, the gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go."

Eric also really leans into the idea of Hell being a bureaucratic, corporate, boring nightmare, also familiar to Good Omens fans, and the demons are so over it. The tone (you could probably guess) is very different from Sandman, and it's one of the earlier, less-serious Discworld books; it's a very fun, absurd ride of a read!

There are a few other Discworld books I'll talk about in a future post, that may also be of interest to certain Good Omens fans (I'm gearing these posts toward the fans who came to Good Omens from the TV show and haven't had the pleasure of discovering Neil's and Terry's other work yet); the ones I have in mind examine religious extremism, and the uncoupling of religion and morality too. A couple of them also have queer themes, if that is also your jam! (Less shipping opportunities but I assume some fans, like me, like the rest of the material in GO in addition to the love story).

I'll end this with a quote from a footnote from Eric that has nothing to do with anything in this post, but which took me by surprise and had me laughing days later whenever it came to mind. It's referring to books in a section of the library:

"Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken."

And another bonus one that I found while looking for the first:

"Rincewind had been told that death was just like going into another room. The difference is, when you shout, 'Where's my clean socks?', no one answers."

I hope this made sense and is maybe interesting to someone ... I had fun talking about this at least!

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 #sandman #discworld #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #gnu terry pratchett #crowley #eric #eric faust #rincewind #p

[especiallythewomenandthechildren]

As If Destiny (part eight) 🌹

Part Seven 🌹

Warnings: Parent death, sibling death, death and brutality (it is the hunger games after all) characters may be ooc. Reader may not be your fav this part. I read the book a while ago but don't really remember much of Snows way of thinking (I mean I know its toxic and insane but yk the other things) so I will mostly be basing off the film and my own thoughts. Also I can't spell for the life of me so be prepared for bad spelling and grammar. Enjoy loves!

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The air of the station was stale, as if taking the simplest of breaths would cost a significant amount of energy. It felt as though even the bugs buzzing around in the spring weather were flying in slow motion. Maybe it really was the air, or more likely, the atmosphere of your mind.

You felt nauseous and dizzy at the arguments that split your soul. The tributes were to arrive today, naturally, Jessup with them. Were you here to give the best first impression or to size him up? A part of you wanted to save him from the horrors, but the lately very loud voice has been telling you that he deserved it. Especially a boy from District Twelve, around the age of those who murdered your brother in the dense woods of the small district.

Your long time waiting for the train arrival was spent trying to settle that internal struggle to no avail. You were staring straight ahead onto the empty tracks when something felt different. The peacekeepers were still stoic, tracks still echo-filled at even the slightest noise. But a slight breeze was felt behind you. When you turned around, that breeze of fresh air happened to be a certain blonde with irresistible eyes.

He was in the rouge academy uniform, as were you, and he held a pristine white rose in his hand. He had clearly expected the station to be empty, so the sight of your drained eyes made him suck in a breath.You let out a tired laugh at his appearance.

"So are we allowed to be here, or are we both going to receive whatever nightmare Highbottom has set up for us?"

Coryo walked to stand next to you as he retorted back with a sly grin.

"At least we will go through whatever the punishment is together."

"Ah, yes, nothing shakes the trouble duo!"

He took a sideways glance at you as he started chuckling.

"Trouble duo? That's really the best you thought of? I thought you were the poetic one."

He joked at you as you gasped in mock offense.

"I'm sorry, do you have any better names for us?"

Yes. Yes, he did. But none of them had to do with Highbottom or any mocking moniker. His personal favorite was "couple." The others were a bit ambitious and would be used in the far future, such as President and First Lady. Not a bad ring to it. But he wouldn't voice out his desires, even if he was on his death bed. Especially after what happened in that hallway yesterday.

However, you were too busy observing for the upcoming train to notice Coriolanus's gaze. When you turned around, he didn't shift away his gaze.

But you didn't question it. Maybe because it has become familiar and a comfort these past weeks. You had ammunition of reasons such as his hyperobservation to explain these glances. Not a single one of them hit the real reason.

The blonde was fidgeting with the rose slightly, which made a slight laugh creep past your lips. It took him a second to realize the cause, but when he did, he slightly blushed.

"I would have gotten you one too if-uhm, I knew you would be here."

Your lips curved into a shy grin at his flustered words.

"I'm not the one you need to charm, Coryo; you did that a long time ago."

You noticeably were avoiding his eyes, and he let it be because he was quite sure he was turning as red as his uniform.

"Can I ask why you are here, Coryo?"

He seemed a bit taken aback at your sudden question. Of course, he knew the reason he was there: to win the Plinth Prize. To do that, he needed Lucy Gray's trust, and this was just the way to do it. But he feared his reasoning was a bit too harsh. It was the last days of this girl's life, and he was just seeing her as a means to an end. Coriolanus didn't want you to think of him as heartless or worse, that he would be using your trust as a means to an end as well.

So he simply replied that he wished to gain the odd girl's trust, and this seemed like a good way to get a head start. You nodded along, agreeing that she seemed like the character who wouldn't do anything without trust.

Although, your eyes seemed to darken after his reasoning. He couldn't decipher the look completely, but it was clear guilt was a factor.

"Y/N?"

Your faraway eyes and mind locked into his at hearing his soft voice.

"Why are you here?"

You stared at him, slightly getting lost in the ever-shifting color in his eyes. You looked downwards as you breathed out.

"I don't know. I wish I did. Something told me I should come, see him for myself. Maybe it will help clear my thoughts on everything here. And I know a part of me wishes to find something in him to justify his murder."

You bitterly admitted. You were still glanced down when Coriolanus responded.

"This isn't your fault; you know this, right? You didn't choose him, and you didn't make the games."

He let it sink in for a moment, enough for it to visibly break through your guilt-made walls. Coriolanus waited for you to finally regain the will to look up at him.

"And if anyone has reason for the things you are thinking and feeling, it's you. They still want us dead. The Capitol says the war is over when it's far from done. I mean, come on, these kids are the next generation of rebels. It's either them or us."

His tone started out light and soft but quickly turned to stone. You wanted to argue with him, to shout at the top of your lungs that they are innocent and no part of the massacres you suffered. But how could you? How could you fight your exact sentiments?

You knew he was right, no matter how much it hurt your morals. They were old enough to feel fear. Old enough for that fear to become hate. Hate to violence.

And they were old enough to kill. The minimum age for the Reaping was twelve. You and your classmates had the ability to take a life at half that age.

After that, the long-awaited train began pulling into the station. You've only ever seen a train in person once. When you gave miniature hugs to your uncle Averic and freshly fourteen-year-old Octavious.

You were only five at the time, and the upcoming horror of the Dark Days were still a few months away. There were others there saying their goodbyes, but you weren't focusing on them. Or how they began filtering out as the time for departure came closer. You were still clinging onto your older brother's legs as your mother, aunt Fiora, and uncle Averic seemed to be in serious talks.

"Otto?"

The young boy seemed to be trying to listen in to their conversation, and it took a little slap to his leg to get his attention. When his eyes, which were the same shade of yours, landed on your own, they softened from his prior harden state of focus. He knelt down to your height as he turned all his attention on you.

"Why are you leaving?"

The boy had to take a shaky breath. He had slightly hoped you would just accept your mother's reasoning that he "just had to go." But, of course, you, being too attentive and curious for any kid your age, just couldn't let his absence go. In reality, he didn't have to leave. He had forced himself to be involved. It took every stretch of persuasion to convince his uncle to let him come along to what was being described as "a small rebellion."

He wasn't to do anything but take note and follow his uncle's lead. Otto dreamed that within a year, he would be given his own battalion, and the next, be his own commanding general. It was not extremely unusual for a young man of age sixteen or seventeen to be in command. Averic Emberidge was a living example. And like his maternal uncle, Octavious Vaun had great military promise. He had life promise.

He had promise.

And a promise given to his young sister. That he would come back.

Otto achieved his goals of military prowess. But the young man, no matter how skilled or trusted, broke his promise to the person he loved most.

But back then, the promise was fresh and believed to be easy to keep. The platform was empty save for one family by the time your own was forced to part. Your mother and aunt switched between the two members who would be off in District territory. You stood back and watched the goodbyes as a man approached.

He was tall, broad, and commanded the air of the room. As if even the rules of the universe had to bend to his will. He had two children and an older woman trailing behind him. All four had bright and magnetic blue eyes.

The Snows were not easy to miss, not even miles away, as though their powerful aura was felt in all areas of proximity.

He stopped right in front of your mother, who stood in a deep green fashioned vintage day dress. The beautiful woman still looked forward, slightly past her brother's shoulder.

"Cloria. Fiora."

He gave a nod after each name. The former turned to him with those still captivating eyes. The latter rolled her own pair at his presence. He acknowledged your uncle and brother as well, but they would have time for conversation later. They were all to be on campaign together after all.

Crassus and Cloria broke away for a very brief discussion while you still stood a bit away from the group. Your uncle noticed you and your lack of an official goodbye and smiled in invitation. You sprinted into his now-open arms as he spun you around, much to your oblivious enjoyment. When he set you down and grabbed your arms to make you focus on him, his prior smile dissolved into a grave thin line.

"Hey, kid."

Uncle Averic's voice wasn't the joyful one you were used to. You knew then that you needed to listen up and closely.

"I know you are a tough little girl. I saw how you beat up your brother, after all."

You smiled proudly while the aforementioned beaten boy scoffed. He was referring to the past few weeks in which Otto taught you how to fight. It was safe to say he wasn't expecting your level of skill and dedication. The fourteen-year-old just wanted you to have basic defense skills, but your speed of skill accelerated the lessons considerably.

"But y/n, things are going to be a little different now. I need you to watch out for your mom and aunt Fi, okay? I know Rhayen will be there, but you are responsible too. You are smart and strong, kid, just don't be reckless. Your mom doesn't need any more stress."

Your uncle struck his hand out, and you shook it in agreement. It didn't hit your young mind all that you would have to endure to keep this agreement.

Your mother and Crassus seemed to be finishing up talks, so you turned to Otto, who seemed to be holding back tears as the gravity of the situation hit him.

"Hey."

His still-changing voice broke. He scooped you up in his arms as he stared down at you.

"I will write all I can back home, and I'll make special letters just for you, okay? I'll draw out the words for you."

You could read, and at a very accelerated level for a girl your age, but Otto was already missing the days where you would draw out what you were feeling in situations you couldn't speak out loud.

"No! I want words, I can read Otto! I want hard words too!"

He laughed at your little pout of demand. Your determination to push yourself even in that small way was one of the many ways you motivated him throughout the war. Otto knew you were waiting for him, so he rushed to come back. But even his speed could not make him outrun fate.

Your mother had come back and had taken you - begrudgingly - out of her oldest child's arms. You watched them board the train and watched the adults' reactions. Each had a different expression.

The older woman who was with General Snow, who you would eventually call Grandma'am along with her grandchildren, looked proud; she looked overconfident and a bit arrogant. Fiora was on the brink of biting her finger off as she bit nervously at her nails.

And your mother. Her eyes were scanning the train, but they saw two worlds. One where the three men would come back, unscathed and victorious. The other was grim and the unfortunate reality of only the news of their death coming back.

You remember as you scanned the faces, all which were focused on the now-departing train, one was staring back at you. Even all those years ago, Coriolanus was always a face of comfort and reliability. Across the platform, you two bore into the soul of the other, trying to make sense of any of the chaos around them. Your family began walking towards the west exit while his the east.

The distance grew and grew, but so did the intensity of your connected gaze. Neither seemed to want to let go. As if you both knew this would be your last look for three years. The last look as unscathed children.

But those children grew up. And you were back on a train platform with those ever-searching blue eyes. Though, no longer did he search for sense or his father, but now for his ticket out of poverty. A ticket in the form of a fascinating brunette.

He walked towards the now-opening doors of the cattle train. The smell was foul, but you followed him. Some tributes got out, either by their own or forced out. A bat also flew out which you noted. The tributes looked at the Capitol duo with a range from curiosity to murderous intentions. You went down the near entirety of the vehicle the two from District Twelve appeared. Jessup got down first and helped Lucy Gray down by her waist.

You and Coryo sucked in a collective breath. Any last-minute nerves had to silence themselves because it was far too late now to back out.

Jessup immediately noticed you both and sent a glare. He stepped closer to Lucy Gray in protection while she was busy taking in her surroundings. The movement of Jessup and his noticeable stare past her made the girl turn.

She was quite beautiful; the screens didn't do her justice. She had coffee brown eyes, matching colored hair, and clear, tanned skin. But it was her expression that added to her beauty. She was clearly suspicious, to which no one could blame her, but as she raked over both you and Coriolanus's forms, she had a slight grin of curiosity.

It was quite a contrast to her fellow tribute, Jessup. His eyes were sharp, and he was clearly displeased at your presence.

But you cleared your throat anyway, although Coryo beat you to speaking.

"Welcome to the Capitol."

He held out the rose for the girl, who took a long good look at it before taking it.

"We are your mentors. It's nice to meet you both."

You said sweetly and had a small smile to which the girl returned but fell flat on Jessup. You put your hand out to Jessup, but not surprisingly, he left you hanging. You gulped down your embarrassment and bit your lip, signs of uncomfort ot unnoticed by Coryo. Lucy Gray looked you both up and down as she sized you up.

"When I was little, my mama used to bathe me in buttermilk and rose petals."

She took a petal off and stuck it right in her mouth. She gave it a good taste followed by a smile.

"Tastes like bedtime."

You turned to Coriolanus, who was still wide-eyed at his tribute's actions. You didn't know exactly what to expect when you came here, but it surely wasn't this.

"So what do our mentors do?"

It seemed like Lucy Gray was going to do all the talking as her friend stayed stone-faced besides her.

"We do our best to take care of you. Lucy Gray, Coriolanus is your mentor while Jessup, you are stuck with me."

Lucy Gray nodded along and examined her mentor once again. Jessup examined you as well but not in the pondering way his companion was. Rather, he looked like he was thinking venomous thoughts of you and as if your being was yet another punishment he had to endure.

Any further conversation was interrupted by several peacekeepers motioning for the two from twelve to get moving. Lucy Gray looked over her shoulder and wished you both luck on that front while she was being pushed towards a small vehicle along with the rest of the tributes.

Coriolanus already began asking the silent peacekeepers if we can escort them, but none were willing to answer. You followed him aimlessly, ready to start your exit and walk to the Academy. You both still had classes today, even though they were modified to center around your mentorship. But Snow wasn't willing to give up.

When a tall and lanky boy tried to make a run for it and distracted the peacekeepers, a certain look overtook Coriolanus. Everything seemed to be blocked out, just him and the door to the truck. You had a feeling what he was going to do and cursed him once you saw his legs start pumping.

I hate you so much, you idiot Coriolanus Snow.

Your chant of dislike was all you could think of as only a split second after him, you followed him into the abyss of the vehicle that held twenty-three (Wovey yet a year away) teenagers who wanted you both dead. A desire they might just get once the doors shut, trapping you in.

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As soon as Coriolanus landed on the truck, he went directly towards the back. Your legs weren't as tall as his, so it took enough effort from you to get on the truck that you fell onto the floor. That was when Coryo noticed you had joined him. His eyes widened in fright, and he moved to pick you up when another tribute shoved him against the back wall. He let out a painful groan as he tried to charm his way out of the situation.

The tribute holding onto him was even taller and considerably broader than the blonde boy.

"I'll kill you right now."

He snarled at Coriolanus and was backed up by a sick girl.

"He killed a peacekeeper back in eleven."

You learned that the peacekeeper killer was named Reaper, and the ill-looking girl was named Dill.

The threat on Coriolanus's life made you get up in a second and get ready to stop any further action. But as soon as you landed on your feet, your position mimicked Coriolanus's as you were being shoved by Coral, the girl from four. You knew she was Festus's assigned tribute and she seemed like a clear delight with her wicked smile.

"I call dibs on killing her."

Her breath, with the scent of fish still lingering, fanned all over your face. But unlike Coriolanus, your face didn't show any fear or desperation. You held her gaze with a glare of your own. You've fought off a lot more menacing figures than her.

While you had no fear, Coriolanus was taken over with terror.

"Don't you touch her!"

He made a move against Reaper, who shoved him back even harder against the wall. His struggle made the red head girl holding you laugh.

"Aw, how cute. Your boyfriend tryin to help you, princess."

Your hostile glare deepened at that. She had so much confidence in her ability and power over you. And while she was much stronger than you, she was sloppy. She didn't even hold back your hands or disarm your legs. You could easily throw her off if she made a move.

Lucy Gray watched the events unfold and glanced at Jessup who seemed okay with letting their mentors suffer fates similar to their inevitable ones. She didn't like not doing anything to help them. They were supposed to help her and Jessup, right? They would be at a clear disadvantage if something happened to them.

Plus, you and Coriolanus were interesting; nothing like what she imagined Capitol kids to be like.

As the rest of the group agreed on the murder of the academy students, Lucy Gray piped up.

"Y’all got family back home? They’ll kill them if you hurt them. Then you."

She made sure her message was clear. The thought of their families being hurt made them pause, as well as the instant death. In the Hunger Games, they at least had a shot at living. Reaper loosened his grip, and she continued.

"Besides, he’s my mentor. I might need his help."

She nodded her head towards the disgruntled mentor. She didn't mention who you were mentoring because she hoped Jessup would speak up. She knew Jessup didn't necessarily care for you, but he knew you might be some sort of help. The dark-skinned boy didn't get to speak up before Coral, however.

"And you a mender, princess?"

She shoved you again, which made Coriolanus flinch, but Lucy Gray motioned with her eyes for him to stay in place. His involvement would only make things worse.

"Better hope I'm not yours."

She didn't like your answer if her teeth-bearing snarl had anything to say about it. Something about it fueled your fury.

"Do you know why they call it the Hunger Games?"

You beckoned her with a slight smirk that angered the aggressive girl across from you.

"I'll still kill you."

She threatened you as she didn't know where you were going with this. The unknown was a disadvantage to her and fueled her fear.

You asked again, and the sweet-hearted Wovey answered instead.

"Because there is no food."

She answered confidently and in that sweet voice, which felt so wrong in this environment. You didn't want to go ahead with your plan of words, but when Coral turned back from looking at the little girl to you, the fire was back.

You stared straight into the angry eyes of Coral with a menacing smile.

"Oh no, there is plenty of food. I mean, look around. I see twenty-six bodies of food."

You could feel the girl's arms shudder, and you saw the rest of the faces go pale. But you weren't done.

"Hunger stands for the hunger in one's eyes. Once that bell rings, that hunger takes over. Hunger for blood, corpses. For survival and victory. And if you lose focus for just a second-"

You made quick work as you shoved Coral's arms off of you and placed them behind her back. You have now reversed places as she struggled against the wall and beneath your far more forceful and effective hold. Attention was still hooked onto as you finished your lesson.

"You're dead."

Your quick move shocked the entirety of the truck, including Coryo. He knew you could fight back from your younger days by the pestering of Festus, in which you gave him a solid black eye for days. Yet, he didn't know just how good you were, much of it still from your brother's teachings and occasional lessons from Rhayen.

You were ready to let the girl, who still wore her scowl but couldn't hide the fear behind her eyes, go. Although, you bent closely in front of her face to let her know your last message.

"You better thank your lucky stars I'm not in that arena with you. I already won my games."

You hissed out the now positively infuriated teenager. The other tributes ranged from absolute horror of you to confusion on your last statement and how you were so cutthroat. No one expected children of the Capitol to have this in them.

The entirety of the truck's eyes were on you, except Lucy Gray. She looked to Coriolanus to examine his expression. She wanted to know if this was all a front or your sweet nature on the station was. The best way would be to see what the boy, who clearly knew you, thought of the situation. His face was not expressing fear or confusion like the others, but rather a sad look of understanding.

All of the Capitol struggled most definitely during the Dark Days and still with its legacy and effect. But you were one of the few to suffer nearly all the horrors it brought during the war and the only one who still lost after it. The rest of your classmates seemed to move past the traumas, but not you. Maybe it was because of your mother, but it always seemed to play out on repeat behind your still-shining eyes.

Lucy Gray's eyes bounced from Coriolanus's face to yours again. She seemed satisfied and understood. You weren't bluffing. Though, as she looked again at you, she saw your eyes soften. You realized all you had done and said. You had felt threatened, and it had just become instinct to take control of a threatening situation. It hit you that you just became Coral. It was clear she was scared of being here, and her menacing demeanor was a defensive mechanism. And your haunting words were yours.

Lucy Gray took note. Maybe she and Jessup could trust you. But all of a sudden, the truck began shaking harshly and began tipping as the doors opened into the bright light. It shocked you, and due to being closer to the door, you were one of the few to fall. You fell silently but locked eyes with Coriolanus as you did, which was enough for him to let go as well. He was already slipping anyway as Lucy Gray hung onto him, and the truck began tipping.

The mentor was able to land without a scratch and checked on Lucy Gray, who was the same. She looked to her friend, who dusted himself off from where he landed a few meters away from her. Coriolanus watched her make it to Jessup when he began frantically looking for you.

You were more in the middle of the area, which he soon realized was the Capitol zoo. He scoffed at the insult to the districts as he rushed to your side. However, you weren't as lucky as those in the back. You had landed face first into some rocks, which busted a nasty cut above your eye. You had swatted away Coryo's helping hands and slipped off your academy blazer to dab at the blood.

"Huh, look at this. Capitol bleeds."

Your head snapped up to meet the mocking Coral. Coryo looked as if he was going to pounce on her, but you pulled his arm back. He helped you up as you looked past his shoulder.

"What in the world is the weather guy doing here?"

The quite loud presentation voice of the notorious Lucky Flickerman was heard as he tried to get your and Coriolanus's attention.

Lucy Gray and Jessup had moved towards you two while Coral walked off. When Coriolanus heard that he was live for all of the Capitol, he began to panic. His breath became rapid and shallow. You were quick to grab his cheeks to make him look down to you.

"Coryo. Look at me. It's nothing you haven't done before. I'm here with you, okay?"

You waited for his nod to smile back at him, which calmed his nerves considerably. Your tributes watched on, slightly amused. Lucy Gray felt charmed by your clear looks of affection, although it hurt her due to her own recent love troubles. Jessup felt amused that the girl who was just threatening Coral was so taken by a skinny, lanky, and pale boy such as Coriolanus.

You both turned to the other half of your makeshift group.

"Lucy Gray Baird, Jessup Diggs, let us introduce you to our neighbors."

You beckoned them forward, while you opened your hand for Lucy Gray, who took it with an amused tilt of her head. Jessup and Coriolanus shared a look, in which the latter looked at the former's hand and was swiftly met with a clear "no" at the thought of the two mirroring your actions.

When you reached the edge of the cage, you noticed two small children. Coriolanus moved to the other side of Lucy Gray while Jessup moved to you, still a bit back. However, your attention is quickly taken by the questions of Lucky Flickerman.

"Who are you two? What are you doing in the cage here?"

Coriolanus responds and explains the situation to Lucky while you and Lucy Gray focus on the children in front of you.

They seem very taken by Lucy Gray, and she is quite the charmer. She captures the attention of all around with her honey-like voice and witty answers. Soon enough, Lucky focuses on her, eager to learn all about the strange girl. She explains the Covey and the importance of her beautiful dress.

"This dress was my mama’s so it’s extra special to me."

You glanced at her with a shared sympathy as she informed the ignorant host of her mother's passing. She felt your stare shift and turned to you as you gave her the slightest of nods. You didn't know if she understood its meaning, but her knowing eyes crinkled with a smile that let you know your message was well received.

Lucy Gray had a good feeling she could trust you. Maybe if she somehow won, you two could be good friends. She was a charmer and well-liked in twelve, but she didn't really have friends besides the Covey; who were more family than friends.

"Do you know the wonderful mentors for me and Jessup? Seems we got the cream of the cake 'cause no one else even bothered to show up."

You took a gulp and forced a smile as the camera visibly moved to focus on you.

"Well, we've met Coriolanus Snow, yes?"

Flickerman paused to ensure he got the blonde's name right and was met with a nod.

"And who are you, young lady? And did you get that nasty cut from the other tributes when you jumped in the cage? Were you told to jump in?"

His questions flew a million miles a minute, but you responded with grace.

"Hello there. My name is Y/N Vaun and oh no, I fear I am quite clumsy."

You covered up the fact that you might have had your neck slit if not for Lucy Gray.

"And the game makers didn't tell us that we couldn't. They just said that it was a mentor’s job to introduce our tributes to the citizens of Panem. And we thought, well, if they were brave enough to be here, then why shouldn’t we be, too?"

You looked up to Coriolanus to assure your answer was sufficient enough, to which he agreed. Lucy Gray did have one adjustment though.

"For the record, I didn’t have a choice."

Which you couldn't help but tilt your head to the side in agreement to her statement while Flickerman opened up again.

"For the record, I think you both are about to be whisked away."

Suddenly, two strong peacekeepers began dragging you away with Coriolanus. You fought them off to freely walk on your own as you noticed Lucy Gray stop him and whisper urgently, to which he agreed.

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The walk to the academy wasn't too far, but your pace was set quite fast. You and Coryo were already going to attract a lot of attention; missing class for an assumed press event with the tributes was a big no. Your dash to the prestigious institution was a silent conversation between you and Coryo. There didn't feel like much to say as you both were too far in your heads.

Coriolanus turned to you slightly as the question that's been burning in his mind came out.

"Why did you jump in the truck with me?"

You didn't even hesitate as you answered him, still looking forward.

"Are you seriously asking me that, Coryo?"

When you were met with nothing but silence, you turned to him.

"You jump, I jump. You throw yourself in a cage filled with people who want to gut you? Expect to have a friend with you. Maybe it will make you think before you do something stupid next time."

Your answer and vow of companionship caused a satisfied smile to overtake the handsome boy's features. It stayed there for some time before your now dark voice piped up.

"Do you remember the station?"

Your sudden question broke the prior silence. The fair-skinned teen looked at you in question.

"The station we were just at?"

He felt as if he missed something. The thought of being out of the loop unnerved him. You motioned that the recent setting wasn't the point of your question as you elaborated.

"No, I meant right back when the rebellion started. That day when they shipped off."

The heir of Snow's face scrunched up as he thought of the memory; one of his first clear ones. Young Coryo was so confused with all happening around him. Crassus rarely acknowledged the five-year-old's confusion while grandma'am kept on repeating curses about the rebelling districts. Though, as always, Tigris tried to calm down and help her little cousin. She wasn't that much older but she was old enough to understand; her uncle, the sole provider of their family, was to be off across the country. It worried her beyond what her youthful face would show. A face constantly lit up with the warm smiles her young cousin elicited.

But there were moments, although few, where Tigris's attention was elsewhere besides Coryo. One of them being on that now demolished train station, where she watched Crassus Snow depart from the Capital and eventually, their lives. It was in that moment where Coriolanus didn't look to his cousin for comfort but rather the girl with curious and wandering eyes. He had seen you before, but that was the day you truly entered his life. The young man laughed sweetly at the memory.

"You refused to look away even as we were being pulled away."

"Hey, you didn't look away either!"

You retorted back to the reminiscing adolescent. His eyes were still glued forward as you neared your destination. Out of his peripheral vision, however, he noticed a solemn demeanor took you over.

"Funny how different my only two train experiences are."

You laughed without humor, a grim noise.

"The first time, I had the privilege of ignorance. Hands were clean. And the people. Nearly every person I loved in one place. Fast forward today. I'm all too aware of the blood dripping from my hands, and I keep on making it gush."

You paused to take a bitter breath while refocusing your eyes straight ahead. You both were nearly to the entrance of the academy campus.

"Not a single one of them made it out alive. The only one was you."

The boy in mention furrowed his brows at your statement. It didn't strike him until now that you were right. Every member of your family on the platform that fateful day is six feet under. And by the way you spoke, so was little five-year-old you. The thought of your absent family made him reflect. His life wasn't easy in the slightest, but he did have his loved ones, no matter how little the number was. Sure, his grandma'am was a bit eccentric and not whole in the head, but she was a reminder of the glory indebted to the Snows. She was, most of the time, a sweet grandmother and a constant pillar of support.

And of course, Tigris. His life was mostly filled with darkness, metaphorically and literally with the high cost of electricity. But Tigris was always a light shining bright. Guiding him when he was lost in the slightest bit. He left that station with nearly the same family he has today, excluding his cold father. And even though his absence was a painful reminder of their living situation, Tigris often reminded Coryo that was given a chance to be a better person without his father's controlling and cold nature. A chance she tried to make possible at every possible moment.

But you didn't have a single member of your beloved family anymore. It was true your father was alive, but Coriolanus knows he has all but officially stepped out of your life. A move that made the young man resent and hold a place of disrespect in regards to your father. Your feet had carried you through the vast academy doors and down the hallways leading to the class you should have been in half an hour ago.

It was when you were mere feet from the door when a realization hit him. You said everyone you loved was on that platform and he was the only one to live. wait. did you just- does that mean-

"Your little excursion was in violation of about five different Academy rules, Mr. Snow and Miss Vaun. Chief amongst them, endangering a Capitol student."

You had entered the domed classroom, and Coriolanus couldn't further question your prior statements. You had ascended up the stairs with Coryo following close behind. You turned to question Dean Highbottom, who didn't even look up at your presence.

"Neither of us forced the other to go. We went on our own accord."

You responded back to the dean still focused on his papers.

"I don't care how or why it happened. You both put yourselves in danger regardless. I’m moving for the Gamemakers to disqualify you as mentors immediately."

You scoffed at his actions in disgust. He really jumped at any chance to make Coriolanus suffer. Highbottom has now become a plague you now have to deal with as well. Young Snow didn't appreciate his operation against him and you as he questioned his validity.

"You said we had to get our tributes to perform, not that we had to stay away."

"I’ll add insubordination as well."

Coriolanus opened his mouth to retort back when he was cut off by a chilling voice.

"Snow and Vaun fell down in the cage."

The ever-infamous Volumina Gaul appeared with a devilish smile playing on her bright red lips. She crept closer as she continued.

"Snow fell down in the cage but it landed…"

Her riddle was quickly figured out by the pair who answered at the same time.

"On stage."

The quick and correct reply made her wicked smile grow impossibly more.

"You’re good at Games. Maybe one day, you two will be Gamemakers like me. You are quite the pair."

The decrepit Casca Highbottom turned to watch the interaction and grumbled at the head Gamemaker's implication.

"If the Games continue at all."

"Oh, they’ll continue. With performances like young Mr. Snow and Miss Vaun's in that zoo."

The eccentric woman made her way to the end of your row as she questioned.

"Which one of you had the idea to jump in the cage with the tributes?"

You and Coriolanus knew neither of you had an idea that you would end up there. That doesn't mean the brave (and stupid) idea to jump in the truck came from nowhere.

"Coriolanus was the one."

You were quick to respond that the boy couldn't cut you off to mention your own involvement. That doesn't mean he didn't have his own speed in answering.

"Y/N was the one who fended them off, though. She also was the one who thought of presenting Lucy Gray after gaining her trust."

To say Dr. Gaul’s already peaked interest didn't skyrocket would be an understatement. She remembered her surprise, an emotion that appears very little in the woman's life, at seeing the two academy students in the zoo. Their elegance and charisma in their performance were extraordinary. And to see how fast they are to jump to the other's defense and bolster made the peculiar woman ache for more. She may have found not only one but two promising students.

"Holding her hand, Y/N? Introducing her to people? You make it look as if we’re one and the same as those animals."

The disgust was clear in Clemensia's voice as she spoke. She was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt when it came to Sejanus, who lived most of his life in the Capital after all. But straight district? That was a whole different level of abhorrence.

Said district - not district boy had his own opinions to voice.

"Coriolanus and Y/N didn’t show those people anything they didn’t already know. That the tributes are human beings. Just like us."

He paused to let the idea sink in for the snobby children of the Capital. You and Coriolanus were not surprised at his little outburst, but that doesn't mean you were happy with it. You were very far from it. Sick and tired of constantly hearing the saintly nature of those in the districts. But the curly-haired boy continued.

"That’s why nobody wants to watch the Games. It’s because people know deep down that winning a war 10 years ago doesn’t justify starving people’s children, taking away their freedoms, their rights."

You stayed silent as your nostrils flared, and your teeth ground against each other. You weren't sure where all this anger came from, but you assumed part of it was all your memories of the war becoming so clear lately. The constant yapping of Sejanus that they are oh so innocent while you remember otherwise did not help the blood boiling. Your symptoms of rage did not go unnoticed by Dr. Gaul.

"And what do you think, Miss Vaun? Are the inhabitants of the districts human or animal?"

The entirety of the class focused on you as you took a second to compose yourself. You took a deep breath, and instead of looking at the woman who proposed the question, you locked eyes with Dean Highbottom.

"They are obviously humans."

The man's eyes seemed to have an odd look of relief at your response, but you weren't finished. Your eyes didn't blink nor flinch as you bore into the older man's eyes. "

Animals are incapable of reaching a man's level of sinister."

The recipient of your gaze flinched at your tone and words. It felt as if you stabbed a blade straight into his already shattered conscience. However, your answer sparked new levels of interest within Dr. Gaul. You seem to be more of a promise than you initially let on. Sejanus was far from impressed by your answer. You never spoke out against the districts before; what caused you to now?

"Some of those kids were two years old when the war ended. The oldest of them were only eight! They didn’t have enough to become sinister."

His tone implied the thought that your description of the districts' "humanity" was ridiculous. The people outside of the Capital were good. Far better than those within it, clearly. But Sejanus's blind opinion of them brought you to new levels of anger. You scoffed out a breath of pure disbelief as you turned to stare straight into the brown eyes of the boy.

"Too young? Eight is quite old enough to do sinister things. Look around, Sejanus. You think any of us, who, by the way, were those eight years old, survived by playing with our dolls?"

You paused, trying to compose yourself, while all pairs of eyes were on you. Well, all except Sejanus. You two have never had a quarrel. If there was anyone who the rest were certain would back up Sejanus, it would be you. But here you were, spitting words of venom and unfortunate truth.

"Death doesn't discriminate by age. War doesn't discriminate by age. Each and every one of us here had to become soldiers and survivors by age five." You paused, "Does that sound like humanity? Like the pure good you preach about the districts? They are just like us. Whether or not you want to see it. You claim us evil and we might be. But tell me who do you think caused us to be so harsh? If we were able to kill at six years old, I am quite sure those sixteen-year-olds wouldn't bat an eye. If you don't believe me, let me ask Otto."

The mention of your brother caused the already dead silent classroom to stiffen. Even Highbottom, who disliked yet another reminder of Cloria Vaun (or Emberidge, depends on what memories), had to throw back another shot of morphling. Sejanus was already uncomfortable with your sudden shift in demeanor and your public argument. His discomfort increased when you began using the words "we" and "us," but the mention of Octavius Vaun made him freeze. You rarely mentioned him and if you ever did, you couldn't bring yourself to say his name. You never gave the full details of his death, but you told him enough to know it was a subject never to be brought up. Now that you did, he, along with the rest of your class, knew you weren't going to be able to be controlled.

And you weren't. You didn't let up your hold on attention for a good while as you kept going.

"Hmm? Or how about we ask all of our classmates that should be here? All those people who should be our friends, lovers, siblings? What about those infants who died before they could take a breath because their mothers died of starvation? Let's go ask their corpses, huh! Oh wait, right. Just go around and ask the Capitol population. We didn't have a body clean-up system back in the war. What do you think we did with the bodies?"

The slow realization and remembrance of whispers of the war crept back to Sejanus's mind. Your voice was steady as you continued.

"We had to get whatever nutrition we could, no matter where it came from."

Clemensia had turned deep shades of green at the mention. At the memories.

"Y/N, please stop."

Her wobbly voice and discomfort did the exact opposite of her pleas. You took a look around the classroom to see your peers avoiding eye contact with you and looking one step away from barfing. The sight made you laugh in dark hysteria as you now addressed the room.

"Really?! That's all it took? Ten years? Ten years and you forgot everything! Now that you don't have to throw the last words of your loved ones in a fire to keep warm! These pristine uniforms and marble classrooms enough?! You forget when you had to survive for weeks off of a single rat carcass? When you had to fight deranged old men for a half-empty bag of moldy peaches for your entire family? When your only drink was your own blood? No memories!? No memories of the insanity causing people flinging themselves off of rooftops and others beating the vultures to cut up their corpses!"

Your voice was in a full, rage-fueled yell by the time you finished. You would have continued if a hand on your shoulder didn't signal to stop. You looked up, ready to fight whoever it was, until you realized it was Coryo. You expected him to be embarrassed of you, maybe angry. But he wasn't. His eyes seemed to be glowing with understanding and a shared irritation. After a minute of you calming down, a voice perked all too happily.

"My, my, what a declaration!"

Dr. Gaul was all too eager at your fury. Her blood was on fire with excitement at your sentiments. The question she initially came here to ask you and Coriolanus was finally ready to be asked.

"What are the Hunger Games for?"

The woman looked between you and Coriolanus, eager for an answer to which the latter responded.

"They’re to punish the districts for their uprising, to commemorate the end of the war."

Her smile was gone at the disappointing answer.

“Commemorate the… Dull, dull, dull. Punishment can take myriad forms. Why not drop bombs, cancel food shipments, stage executions? Why Games?"

Her question was not met by either of the two students she wished but rather the clear sympathizer in the form of Sejanus Plinth.

"Shouldn’t we be asking ourselves whether or not they’re right in the first place?"

"You have a problem with my Games?"

Any answer was intercepted by Dean Highbottom who has more than enough of this discussion and development.

"Perhaps the Capitol students are ill-suited to be mentoring tributes. Perhaps the Game’s time has passed."

It was then when you regained your voice.

"It clearly hasn't. The Games, whatever their ultimate purpose, is a reminder. To the districts, most definitely, but also the Capital. It is clear that most here wish to forget and hide away the horrors we've endured. Forget all you wish, but the districts won't. They have to suffer what we did and we have to remember why."

Dr. Gaul was taking in your answer. And it clearly pleased her, whether that be a good or bad thing. That curiosity and thrill continued as Coriolanus added in some suggestions.

"Maybe we should be viewing those tributes as human beings. I mean, you saw those kids in the zoo; they just… they just wanted to get to know Lucy Gray. If we need people to watch, we should be letting them get closer to the tributes before the Games. To make the stakes personal."

As your apparent partner continued, the gears in your mind started turning.

"Who will watch the Games if they care what happens to the tributes?" Arachne questioned. And you were the one to answer.

"Everyone."

When you answered, Coriolanus looked to you with a ghost of a smile on his lips as you understood.

"You wanted them to be spectacles? What's better than letting them share their characters? Their lives, dreams, regrets. Biggest loves and losses. If you want people to watch, they will when they have people to root for and against."

Young Snow was quick to pick up after you.

"And if we bend a few Capitol laws, we could even have them place bets. The winner of the arena may not be the same as the winner of the people."

You jumped back into the conversation with a slightly more chipper tone.

"Give them interviews to learn who they are. Maybe we can even do skill tests. If you use Coriolanus's betting system, it can give even the weakest of tributes more of a chance. People would not only be able to bet on who they like the most but who has more of a chance. Not to mention they would have the power to change those odds."

Dr. Gaul was at all-time levels of elation at the pair. She knows promise when she sees it.

"I’d like you to write up a proposal of these thoughts tonight, Mr. Snow and Miss Vaun. "

You turned to look at said Mr. Snow when a certain raven-haired girl stood up from her seat next to him.

"Wait. You mean you might actually use their ideas?"

Clemensia thought her two high-achieving friends' ideas would just be left floating and not actually implemented in one of the most important events of the country.

"If it’ll help the ratings, why not."

Dr. Gaul’s words made the realization hit you like that cursed cattle train. Your ideas were shared in a slight haze of excitement and lingering fury. If your suggestions really were implemented, you may have just subjected generations of children to death.

Your revelation was clear on your face as Sejanus looked up to who he called his closest friend. He felt slightly betrayed by your outburst, but more so confused. Though, his anger and confusion dissipated a good amount when he saw the horror of realization upon your face.

On the other side of the star pupils, Clemmie slightly shuddered as the outlandish Gamemaker turned her cold gaze upon her. The young woman put on her charming smile as she tried to weasel her way into success.

"Coriolanus and I are class partners, Dr. Gaul. We do all of our assignments together."

You shared eye contact with the girl's partner who seemed to be just as skeptical as you. You turned in Dr. Gaul's direction, which also happened to be Sejanus's. You looked down and saw his face look glossy and hurt. A pain that transferred over to you at the sight. But that would be for a later time. For now, you looked up and informed the Gamemaker that you would be doing your proposals on your own.

The classroom was filled with the manic laughter of the woman. Doubt started filling up your veins at working with the prominent figure. Her bright teeth shone bright as her diabolical smile grew.

"It’ll be an interesting test."

A test of intellect, character, and survival indeed.

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You and Coriolanus sat at a small table on the edge of the cafeteria. You wished to be nowhere near the prying eyes and gossiping mouths of your peers. But apparently, Lucy Gray asked for food, and you couldn't let her or Jessup go hungry. Yet, you were now an active hand in their death.

That ever so active voice in your head kept on screaming against your heart. Your napkin was full of the food that used to reside on your plate, and now you were just waiting for Coryo, who came in a bit later than you. He was fast and smooth in his movements and was barely deterred from his actions when a voice rounded your table.

"You trying to fatten those kids up so you can finally start taking bets? Make sure they look lively enough to make good interviews?"

Sejanus spewed his remarks as he sat down on a chair at the head of the table. You glanced down in shame, but the words didn't bother Coriolanus.

"You think they’ll give those kids a scrap if we don’t give them a reason to do it? How do you think your tribute will have a chance if he can’t eat?"

You looked between the two. Sejanus seemed to concede at that point while Coryo kept on stuffing the napkin. The brown-eyed boy's voice seemed to soften in pain.

"He was my classmate. Back in two."

You sucked in a sharp breath. It was already hard enough for him to be a part of the game, especially being given a tribute from his home district. But his own classmate? If you were Marcus, you wouldn't spare Sejanus a glance or a word. And that was the worst part. Sejanus would try to help in any way he could, but the situation he was in, "the lucky one," wouldn't make it very easy to gain the trust of his former classmate. Coryo stopped his movements to look at the only boy he could call a solid friend.

"It’s not your fault it’s him."

You both knew that it would still sit on his conscience, no matter if he really was to blame or not. His scoff said it all.

"See, I know. I’m so blameless, I’m choking on it. My father bought him for me, you know, at the Reaping, just so he could show me that I could never go back to two."

You couldn't believe it. It was common information to you how much Starbo tried to change his son. That doesn't mean you expected him to go to such lengths.

"Maybe you could use that to your advantage."

Sejanus whipped his head to you as he squinted at you. The girl in front of him wasn't the same angry one in the classroom. No, this was the same one who he called his best friend for years, yet it just confused him even more as to why you would suggest that. You were quick to elaborate when it seemed that neither boy caught on.

"You want the Hunger Games to end, right? You can do something about it. No real change will happen unless it happens in the Capital. You are one of the few who can actually do something and one of the even fewer who wants to."

Sejanus seemed to be contemplating your words when Coriolanus added on.

"The best way to change it is to be subtle. Small little changes and actions cause enough damage over time."

Sejanus looked down at his two friends' laps and looked back up with a smirk starting to form.

"Like napkins of food. Make them strong enough to be remembered. Quite the rebels."

His smirk seemed to be contagious as it spread to Coryo. You had a smile as well that only grew as Coriolanus spoke again.

"Oh yeah. I’m bad news."

His eyes were on you the entire time as a blush crept on you. Your teeth couldn't help but show as the three of you got up and started your walk to the Capital Zoo.

Like your morning walk with Coriolanus, this walk was short but a bit more cheery as your little friend group conversed. You feared Sejanus would hold your prior actions against you, but he understood, as always. Well, that and Coryo's explanation on how you both expanded the odds for the weaker tributes instead of making it worse.

You and Coriolanus were recalling the earlier events of the morning that didn't appear on live television.

"Wait wait, you did what to her?"

You were holding back a laugh as Snow described how you switched up Coral and the overdramatization of it.

"Okay, first of all, I did not knock the life out of her. And she was getting on my nerves. Like if you are gonna threaten someone, at least do it right!"

The two boys shared a look and laughed a bit at you. A laugh that was swiftly met with a glare.

"Wanna see me execute my threat, Plinth?"

He was quickly grabbed by his sleeve by Coryo to ensure his friend's safety. You turned forward with a smug smile at their fear while they walked a good meter away from you. Soon enough, however, your little moment was met a swift end as you reached the zoo.

There were far more visitors than this morning, but many seemed to be a ways away; the tributes being watched from afar. You and Coryo spotted your two tributes on the far left side of the area, laying their backs on a large rock. Marcus was on the other side, so your trio split as Sejanus tried so hard to get him to take the food from his hands. A task that was unsuccessful.

You got closer and saw Lucy Gray smile at Coryo and the food he carried and promised he kept. She noticed the napkin of food in your hands as well, making her smile grow.

The singer walked to the bars while Jessup stood behind, still pensive at your presence.

"Is that for us?"

She took the two napkins out of the Capital students' hands, handing one of them to her friend. He didn't even give the food a glance as he bore into your eyes, displeasure evident.

"I’m not hungry."

You had a polite smile prior, hoping to get off on a better start this time. But his refusal made it slightly deplete. You understood why. You and the rest of the Capital students here, which now included Arachne, must have seemed like a cruel joke life played on him. You were willing to walk away, maybe try to focus on helping Coriolanus with Lucy Gray if Jessup refused you.

But Lucy Gray refused the boy who protected her to go hungry. She pushed the food into his hands like a mother would to her child.

"You think I can’t hear your stomach growling, Jessup Diggs?"

He looked between the food, his friend, and you a good number of times before he surrendered to his growling stomach.

Satisfied, Lucy Gray turned back to Coriolanus and seemed to settle in across from him. You doubted Jessup recreate the friendly posture, but you sat down a bit further down from Coryo. She wasn't much further from Arachne, who seemed to be playing a torturous game with her tribute, Brandy.

Your face contorted in disgust at her actions. The girl was going to already struggle, what is the need to play with her hunger?

"You sure you don't want to play with me first?" You turned your head from the perusing scene to the new voice. In front of you stood Jessup Diggs. He stood there, analyzing you as if you were a puzzle that had no connecting pieces. Your eyes moved down the concrete you sat on as you let out a soft, sad laugh.

"Already bad enough I'm not in there with you. Don't need to rub it in any further."

He squinted his eyes down at you. Every statement that has come out of your mouth has only served to confuse him more. From your very first meeting, the truck, earlier when you were in the cage, and now. Arachne's moves and character were what he expected when he was traveling to the Capital. But you and Coriolanus (and a recent brunette curly-haired boy on the far end of the zoo) were the anomalies. Lucy Gray told him to accept your help as she would her mentors, which was reasonable enough.

But why did it seem like she actually trusted you two? Sure, you jumped in with them, but it seemed for more personal gain than their tribute's benefit.

You looked back up to a questioning Jessup. He didn't understand what you meant that you should be in there with him.

"What's the difference between us? I happened to be born in the right place, I guess."

Your nonchalance intrigued him more than it brought fear. You may be just putting up a facade to make him trust you, but what would be the point? He was gonna die soon enough.

Jessup, much to your surprise, sat across from you as he gobbled down the food. He noticed you looking down and eyed you suspiciously. You just lightly smiled and promised to get him more if he would accept. He turned his head from side to side in thought, which caused the left side of his neck to be exposed. A dark and deep mark appeared against his skin, which caused you to have an instinct to reach out and help.

However, your sudden movement towards his neck caused him to back up rapidly. The action caused Lucy Gray and Coryo to look over in fright. But neither of you looked back as you stared at him apologetically while he eyed you again.

"Sorry, I just noticed and worried me."

You mumbled it quietly, which was oddly enough, reassuring to Jessup. He did see the worry appear in your facial features. The emotion was too deep and genuine to be faked. He slowly got back to his original position.

You kept your hands to your sides as you looked over his wound. Your eyes moved from his neck to his deep brown eyes.

"It looks new. Can I ask what it's from? I may be able to get some medication."

Jessup wondered how much was available to you at just a snap of a finger. Were you the type of person to do that? His assumption of the Capital made him believe so, but your personal actions proved otherwise. Especially your little stunt with Coral.

"Bat bite. Got it when covering for Lucy Gray. Rather me than her."

Your eyes went from warning to a softened glow. He didn't like the feeling of trust building

"I don't want medication though. I want to go out my way."

You couldn't help but smile at his conviction. If he didn't get medication, there was no way he would be able to survive. But that didn't seem to bother him.

"Jessup, if it's from a wild bat, there is a likely chance you can get rabies. Are you sure? It does wild things to those infected."

The effects of it bothered Jessup slightly. He didn't want to die as a deranged man he couldn't recognize, but he didn't want to give the people who took everything from him the satisfaction of his death. He shook his head in assurance, and you were ready to drop it when a thought sprang through your mind.

"I am willing to drop it, but please, be completely sure if this is what you want. Do you have family back home who need you?"

The mention of his family made him clench his teeth, and you were sure you messed up. You were quick to apologize, but that didn't erase the pounding thoughts of the boy's family.

"The only thing they need me for is to clean their gravestones."

Your gaze was sympathetic, but you turned it away. You knew what it felt to be looked at like a kicked puppy after people learned of your mother's passing. You were sure a man like Jessup wouldn't be very fond of pity.

"He looked a lot like you."

Your head went through whiplash due to the speed you turned to the boy. Your eyes were now the analyzing and questioning ones. You motioned for him to continue; to make sense of his statement.

"The boy who killed my family. He couldn't be any older than me, sixteenish. He had your eyes."

Your breath seemed to speed up as it dawned on you what he could be saying. That sweet little Otto was capable of murdering an entire family. Then again, what would he think of your actions in the war? Jessup took in your reaction as he cautiously continued.

"Don't think he don'it before. Kept looking back and forth between my pops and brother. Like he was begging them to change back time."

You were no longer looking at the talking boy, but it was clear you were hanging onto every word. Your eyes fluttered around as you tried to make sense of the new knowledge.

"He had reason if that makes you feel better. They were rebels and took out a good number of Capital forces. Just those two on their own."

He didn't hide his proud smile as he didn't even realize it appeared for a few moments. When he did, he was ready to see you storming off, glare knives into him, or plan ways to make him and his fellow tributes suffer. But you were just looking at him, a sad smile on your lips. You couldn't blame his smile. It was his family succeeding in their beliefs, no matter how it pained you. It wasn't as if you were sentenced to a bloodbath as your final moments.

The lack of aggression you presented allowed for Jessup to precede.

"They stood proudly as they were accused of their crimes. He gave them a chance, but they didn't say a peep. The boy with your eyes was shaky as he raised the gun. My momma couldn't hold back and ran into the gunfire. In just three seconds, my entire family erased. Glad they didn't shoot into the floor."

His face shifted from pride to bitterness to a hollowed smile.

"Always check the floorboards of twelve. Never know what you find."

You wanted to pipe up when you heard the disgruntled grunts of Brandy and the mocking laugh of Arachne. It had paused for the majority of your conversation with Jessup because Arachne was busy being interviewed by Lucky Flickerman. Though now she was back, her little game was resumed.

It burned your blood at seeing her cruel game. No one would ever describe Arachne as nice, but she would never stoop this low. Unless they were the district, apparently. You quickly muttered an apology to Jessup as you got up and walked unamusedly to the red-haired girl. Your hand swiftly snatched the glass bottle before it disappearedinto the bar to tease the starving girl again. Arachne looked up to the intruder, and a deep scowl appeared when she saw your face. Behind you, the sun was bright, as if casting a halo down on you. Oh, how fitting for little miss perfect, the sour girl thought.

You turned to Brandy and gave her a warm smile as you gently laid the bottle down next to her. Her eyes narrowed at your act and were glazed over in dehydration. The girl's hands were lightning as they snatched the drink and gulped it down as fast as was possible.

You left the tribute to her drink as you were met with the nasty stare of Arachne Crane.

"Feel proud of yourself for making her suffer even more? I mean, come on, Arachne!"

You huffed at her, irritated at her childlike behavior. Your back was turned as you began walking back to your own tribute when her voice sneered.

"Wonder what dear old Otto would think of you taking care of the same animals that chopped him up into tiny little—"

At the sound of your brother's name, you had turned back, and as she continued, so did your strides. But it was the sound of glass shattering that made you jump into action.

Physically jump as you pushed Arachne out of the way of the oncoming bottle. Brandy had a clear shot to the front of her mentor's throat but due to your speed and slightly turned position, it didn't hit her target. Instead, the broken bottle jammed itself within the side of your neck as your knees buckled on impact. You felt around the area as hot sticky blood poured all over your fingers.

Your hearing began getting muffled, but the gunshots were piercingly loud, as was the sound of your attacker's body hitting the ground. You saw red around you, unsure if it was one of your fellow students or even more blood.

Black dots began spotting your vision as you fought to keep them open upon the orders of someone. You weren't sure who, but whoever the saving angel was, they were doing everything to keep you conscious. No screams came out of your mouth, but warm salty streams across your cheeks, mixing in with the now pooling blood.

The lack of audible panic made your internal one settle slightly. Your mother surely screamed herself on the path of death as did your aunt Fiora. But then again, maybe your brother died without a squeak.

Your eyelids felt as if they were being welded shut against all your will power. You turned your head to the left, which was the side that hadn't been stabbed. The last thing you witnessed before you lost all reality was a head of pretty white hair with matching gorgeous blue orbs. His mouth kept on moving and forming words, but no sound pierced your ears.

You felt his hands around you, cradling your gushing neck. His hands looked as if permanently stained with red dye as he moved them around frantically. In such movements, his hands happened to fling your now apparent rings in front of your view. The two golden ones on the outside seemed mostly clear if the blood overtook her. That accursed silver of a thousand snowflakes glistened under the sunlight. As much as a ring being drowned in blood could.

Your eyes flickered from the bloody snowflakes up to the eyes of a bloodless Coriolanus Snow. A Coriolanus Snow who begged you to open up your eyes. Who attempted to will it into existence before he was pulled off by peacekeepers. Your body was hastily put on a stretcher and sent straight to the Capital hospital.

Not a single blink occurred from the blue frozen eyes of the Snow heir. How is it that it was only this morning when you were on the other side of the cage? Safer on that side.

Snow was on the verge of a breakdown. One of anger and of fear. He was only mere feet away. Only a few feet away and you still might lose your life because he wasn't careful. A promise was sworn internally within that calculated boy that day.

Never again will you be choking on your blood while he stood aside with nothing happening. You were not going to suffer the same bloody fate as your mother. You would not suffer. He swore the vow repeatedly as he rushed through the streets to meet your unconscious body. The world can take his money, parents, even the Plinth Prize. He would refuse to give it anymore.

He would not give up on you.

He would not give you up.

A/N: so sorry for it being so long! Not very carefully read I'm so sleepy I'm seeing things help. Pls lmk your thoughts. Much love !!

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@notyourwildestdream 🌹@darktrashsoulbear🌹@fantasylovestoryme 🌹@nekee-lilac02 🌹@a-avengerparker 🌹 @queenofshinigamis 🌹@darlingisntit 🌹

#coryo snow #arachne crane #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #the hunger games #snow lands on top #tbosas #ballad of songbirds and snakes #reader insert #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus x you #hunger games #sejanus plinth #tigris snow #snow #sejanus my beloved #sejanus x reader #sejanus deserved better #corio #clemensia dovecote #lucy gray baird #lucy gray my beloved #jessup diggs #dr. gaul #casca highbottom #dean highbottom

[stxrrynxghts]

Have been reading your analyses since I've returned to Tumblr. Please make one of the Draupadi that we see in pop culture and the canon Draupadi, if you haven't already. Thank You so much :)

Okay! So, here I go!

So, Draupadi in pop culture is mostly two things, the shows, and the books. Let me start off with the books. I am taking three main books as base:

Karna's wife- The outcast queen: This book is based on some fictional girl named Uruvi, who is the Princess of Pukhya (ig?). She and Karna are the typical Wattpad OCs here. Draupadi here happens to be the female Arjun in Karna related stories, someone who is "jealous" of Uruvi. Uruvi happened to be involved with Arjun, beforehand, idk, am not much aware about this book. Uruvi seems to believe that the disrobing of Draupadi is a private moment b/w Karna and Drau, and that Drau is in love with him. Ugh.

Arjun-Without a doubt: DK much about this one, but apparently, Draupadi is jealous of fucking GANDIVA of all things. Oh, pls, do u srsly think that she has that to be jealous of? If I were this book's Draupadi, then I would be jealous of Nakul, for his insanely good looks-

Palace of Illusions: again, IDK much, but IK this much, that this book as well, loves to show the DrauKarn agenda. Plz. Draupadi does not need to be in love with the man who wanted her disrobed.

My conclusion, with these 3 main books, is that these authors love to degrade a perfectly fine female character. Pop culture Draupadi has ruined her image. Close your eyes and think about Draupadi, and think what you get in mind. Is she angry/short tempered? Is she always raving about her revenge? Is she being blood-thirsty? Is she being well...self righteous? Is she being jealous of her co-wives? If yes, then that is NOT her. That is a shadow, an insult. And trust me, these pop culture influences ruin your image of her to the extent that you CANNOT differentiate at all b/w the real her and the fake her.

Now, part 2, is Draupadi in the shows. *Rubs hands* now, if you like any shows, I shall tell u, this is gonna be BRUTAL. No hate is meant to any actress who has played Draupadi.

BR Chopra's Mahabharat: The first mainstream adaptation of Mahabharata on screen. In my opinion, their portrayal of Draupadi WAS , IS and WILL BE....in the finest of words, shitty. She says the word "andhe ka putra andha", she refuses to marry Karna as he is a sutaputra (We will get on that soon), and she raves about "mere kesh", and is clearly bloodthirsty. Draupadi is not even mildly disgusted or shaken by the fact that her hair is drenched in someone's blood, and it makes her come off as inhumane, arrogant and selfish. Draupadi did have a heart, and canonically, was moved by the destruction of the whole Kuru dynasty. Roopa Ganguly could have been a fantastic Drau, IF, the directors did not do this. Her friendship with Krishna receives a plus point, as does the scene which SHOWS that she is in her periods during the game of dice.

Dharmakshetra: Draupadi here is just straight up...bitchy? She is being blamed by both Kunti and Gandhari for "causing the war". Oh pls, if someone should be blamed, it is your SONS. She was the victim there. But then, honestly, this Draupadi deserves it. She roasts Arjun for not loving her, but then does the EXACT same thing with her other husbands. She roasts Yudi for "loving his brother's wife". Plz, shut your mouth bae.

Kahaani Hamaaray Mahaabharaat Ki: Yup, this was the OG spelling. They have Anita Hassandani as Draupadi, and she is....well, acting like she is a part of some random nukkad naatak. I watched one episode, and that was enough for me. If you want your sanity intact, then don't watch it.

Draupadi: This show has quite the pretty Draupadi, but here, the other Pandavas are literally getting horny over Draupadi. They show her "wedding night" with each one of them, and Arjun actually says that he was jealous of the fact that Bhima got to sleep with her. And I am jealous that you get to rest your head on Krishna's shoulder and sob, Arjun, but do you see me complaining?

Suryaputra Karna: Draupadi is fucking weird here. The scenes are copied from StarBharat, clearly, and well ah. What do I say? This show is clearly not watchable for man kind.

RadhaKrishn: eh. Copied again, from StarBharat, and they showed the andhe ka putra andha wala thing, and my feelings are terribly hurt. *sigh* if I could get this director to gamble off the whole Production House to me, then the world would have been a different place.

will need full blown two reblogs, one for the canon, and one for StarBharat to cover this-

#mahabharat #mahabharata #hindu mythology #draupadi

[goldrushenthusiast]

No bc what if Snow’s hatred and realization of Katniss’ power started before the berries? Think about it.

The obvious, shooting an arrow at the game makers. All of them thought about how cool it was, blah blah blah, but what if Snow looked at that and saw Sejanus? Sejanus, throwing a chair at the screen when they brought out Marcus, his dead friend. And Sejanus was raised capitol. And he didn’t have a romance going on.

Snow knew the potential that Katniss had, if she saw something unfair. He heard about the tribute who was in love, who was causing a ruckus in the training room, and he knew what that led too because he’s seen it. He wasn’t as worried about Peeta because he didn’t have the same fire that snow himself once had in him. He knew how people swooned for a love story (director people being romantics, saying he cheated in the games for love and letting him off the bad hook), and the power Katniss would have if she turned rebel.

Second reason, which is way less obvious. MEADOW SONG. Lucy Gray didn’t sing it at the Hob. She only sang it on television, and to her family. And Dr. Gaul said that she had destroyed every last tape of it, save for one for herself. And how easy would that have been for him to get and destroy, especially once he had killed her (which I believe he definitely did, but that’s unrelated. Mostly).

Katniss sang the meadow song. The meadow song, which has only one (possibly destroyed copy) of it on record. So where else would she have learned it? Someone connected to Lucy Gray. Snow is terrified of anyone coming back from that part of his past to haunt him. He now knows Katniss is somehow connected/related to Lucy Gray, the girl who nearly shook his entire value system and made him rethink everything (just like Katniss did with Panem, btw).

Snow knows how dangerous this girl is. He knows what she could do with her power, but he has to make sure the country doesn’t know what she has because they will be the ones giving it to her. He has to make sure the (possibly STILL ALIVE at that point (he probably checked she wasn’t during his visit before the quarter quell)) Lucy Gray didn’t know how dangerous she was.

That’s why he had her dress up. Not to make her seem like a lovesick schoolgirl, but a harmless lovesick schoolgirl. One with no fire in her. Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire, extinguished, along with any trace of rebellion. The capitol and all of panem has seen her strategies, her brutality, and her soft side. They can’t be fooled by dresses, unless Katniss believes she can fool them through dresses.

It’s so many layers. The capitol people at the bottom, who needed no convincing. Then the district people, who wouldn’t be able to afford to not care about how Katniss saw herself. If they saw Katniss seeing herself as unfit for the rebellion, they would too, thus eliminating any chance of it (to Snow). Next, Katniss. She thinks she knows why she has to wear the stupid dresses. She thinks she knows her power if she stayed strong, and she must do everything in her power not to do that. But she doesn’t understand the extent of it (until the tour and uprisings in 8).

Snow knows ALL of this. He made the layers, separating them. He perfected it and he is all around it. He knows what each layers thinking, because he has thought it too. He’s thought it all through, all the steps, all the layers, and he only has one conclusion; Snow lands on top.

As always thank you for reading this if you did! And I truly did mean to make this bosas analysis short, but as you can see it is not (unless you compare it to my others). What’s amazing to me is the last line in this, the snow lands on top. Because so far you are thinking about how it’s Katniss’ actions and Snow’s reactions, but he’s kind of on top of it all in the end. This whole post was about him, and that’s also sort of a metaphor for the books themselves. How Katniss was the main character of the rebellion, but Snow/Coin were the real ones behind the rebellion (both sides). Just brain candy, yk?

#bosas #bosas analysis #ballad #ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #president snow #katniss everdeen #the hunger games katniss #the hunger games #lucy gray baird

[ejzah]

The Other Shoe, Part 15

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After a first few brutal days, where Deeks seemed to be in constant pain, in addition to constantly being poked and examined by a team of doctors, things improved significantly. Since he didn’t show signs of rejection or infection, they removed several of the tubes that kept him bed bound and he was allowed brief walks—Sam had been released after only one day, much to Deeks’ regret. He’d looked forward to causing minor mischief with his former teammate.

Physical activity brought its own pain and challenges, but Deeks was just happy to be up and about. Even if some of that time was spent in mandatory PT sessions.

In the end, Deeks was released from the hospital after eight days, along with a dizzying list of guidelines, medications, diet recommendations, and symptoms to be on watch for as he recovered.

Two weeks later, Deeks and Kensi had settled into a fairly steady routine. She was still on family and medical leave, which meant she could assist Deeks with any of his needs. Though at this point, he could manage most of his upkeep by himself.

Mostly, Deeks was enjoying the ability to resume normal activities, albeit at a slower and less impressive pace.

Today, Kensi helped him move their set of weights and other exercise equipment outside for his daily modified workout session. With the sun beating down on him, he’d worked up a sweat within a few minutes, and stripped off his shirt. He’d have to watch that he didn’t burn after being inside so much the last year, but for now it felt amazing.

Halfway through a set of arm curls, he caught Kensi watching him from her spot on their wicker loveseat. The book she’d been reading lay abandoned in one hand. He followed her gaze down to his abdomen.

A scar about four inches long stretched from just above his pelvis to his lower abdomen at an angle. Underneath the hard layer of surgical glue, he could see the remnants of dried blood and the raised edges of relatively fresh scar tissue.

“I guess I’m not going to be winning any beauty contests, huh?” he said wryly, gesturing to himself with a sweeping motion. Kensi looked momentarily embarrassed at having been caught staring, but got over it quickly.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re gorgeous,” she insisted, turning a couple pages in the book.

“I’m skinny, I’m pale, I can barely lift 10 pounds, and I have a new scar to top it all off.”

“And still think you’re the sexiest man alive,” Kensi told him firmly. She slid off the loveseat, leaving the book on the cushion, and crossed over to him hands on her hips. “I love everything about you, including that scar.” She stopped directly in front of him, curling one hand around the back of his neck and cupping his cheek with the other. “You will your strength and your tan back, but even if you didn’t, I would still love you.”

“You’re pretty amazing,” he whispered, brushing her hair back from her temple.

“I know.” Grinning, Kensi pressed her lips to his. Deeks dropped one hand to the top of her back, drawing her closer. He moaned softly as the kiss deepened, warmth that had nothing to do with the sun sparking across his skin.

Kensi pulled back with a gasp, licking her bottom lip. She ran her hands down his chest with a regretful sigh.

“Why’d you stop?”

“I don’t think sex is on your doctor-approved activities list,” she pointed out. Deeks pouted.

“Maybe not, but I bet we could find something to do that would be equally fun.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively and ran his eyes down the length of Kensi’s body.

“Let’s give it a couple more weeks.” Kensi patted his chest, fingers lingering for a few extra seconds.

“If you insist,” he sighed dramatically.

“I do. Ok, I’m going to get your afternoon medication and lunch,” she said.

“I think I can manage walking to the kitchen and making a sandwich.”

“I know you can, but you don’t have to.” Kissing him one more time, very quickly, she headed for the back door. “Don’t even think about moving that equipment without me!”

Shaking his head in fond exasperation at Kensi’s scolding, sitting down on the edge of his yoga mat. He still had a long way to go in his recovery, but his future already looked so much better than it had a few months ago.

***

A/N: I didn’t want to get into all the details of organ transplant and recovery in this fic. However, I did want to specify for anyone who isn’t familiar, that organ transplants come with the possibility of lifelong complications, one of those being the risk of the body rejecting the transplant organ. As such, recipients have to take anti-rejection medication for the rest of their lives and take other precautions.

Again, I didn’t want to get into all of that, because as always I think Kensi and Deeks deserve a break and the chance to be happy after everything I’ve put them through. I think there will be just a chapter or two more after this.

#ncis la fanfiction #densi #marty deeks #kensi blye #sick fic #Deeks whump #the comfort part of the story #the other shoe #part 15 #ejzah fanfiction

[the5n00k]

Scratch in Scratch the Surface vs I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie

[[[spoilers for season 2]]]

Long post sorry

I've been comparing these two episodes a lot, especially after the song Ghosts Aren't the Enemy from Book Marks the Sprite reminding me SO much of Lose-Lose from season 1. The conflicts are pretty similar, Molly has to keep someone from finding out about Scratch because of real and disastrous consequences, although instead of the flow of failed phantoms, this season it's the ghost chaser Chens. They aren't directly comparable since the contexts are different (Libby is a close friend and Ollie is a romantic interest) ((I'M SPEAKING CANONICALLY DON'T KILL ME SHIPPERS)) and the plot of Some-Ollie isn't really "hide Scratch" it's more focused on Molly and Ollie's relationship and how Scratch is reacting to it. Speaking of which:

Scratch's reaction to Molly's concerns about Libby is very dismissive. He doesn't really care about her and he's not super invested in Molly's personal problems either. The only times he's helped her out (at this point in the series) is when it personally affects him or he feels familiar pity for her. (First Day Frights and The Best Concert Ever are good examples of this) He's not completely won over by her antics yet. And while he is concerned for her wellbeing at this point, it's more like the sort of concern and worry you feel when you see somebody who's clearly not gonna be able to make the entire 5k run. Like you're worried but it's better if you just don't get involved. Baseline empathy, really

He does start cracking when Molly asks if she can tell Libby because she's misinterpreting the situation. Even during this, Molly doesn't break Scratch's trust and doesn't outright tell her without asking first. Knowing what we know about Scratch now, I think he's always had a soft spot for friendships and hates seeing them end, even subconsciously. He smiles as Molly runs away to catch up with Libby but he's still not happy about it. Yeah he warms up to Libby but telling anyone about him is a potential danger, especially if they feel the need to tell anyone else.

And in Friend-Off, he didn't really have a justifiable reason to be a jerk to Libby other than Molly's scavenger hunt they were both forced to do. Everything he said (both of them said really) was out of a place of pure jealousy. He even admits that at the end of the episode.

What's important to point out is this entire episode he's only thinking about himself (not an uncommon trend for this character) and is only willing to sacrifice when pushed to do so. Not saying he's necessarily written badly in this episode, far from it, but it is quite a contrast between that and his actions in the season 2 episode 5a segment I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie.

I'd like to preface this with one of the scrapped titles for this ep was "Molly's Choice" and I think that will haunt me till I die that's such an evil title

I Wanna Dance With Some-Ollie is a VERY compelling episode. While the set up for it and Scratch the Surface is similar, this one feels like it has more stakes involved. Molly has a crush on Oliver Chen, a ghost hunter, and you can see how that could immediately cause issues. Scratch is even more dismissive towards Molly at points because of this, even colder and snappier than some of season 1a in my opinion. (For good reason obviously) and while Scratch's concerns here are mostly fear for his own safety, it's also jealousy. If he was so worried about Ollie catching him, he wouldn't be around him at all, let alone trying to sabotage the dance.

Molly doesn't take the threat the Chens pose very seriously and dismisses most of Scratch's concerns. (Not that she's a bad friend for this, she just thinks they're silly YouTubers and wants to enjoy a middle school dance) Scratch eventually blows up on her and they get into a rather brutal argument for an episode 5 of a DTVA show. It's presented in the usual silly way but they both say some rather insensitive things to each other in the heat of the moment.

We've NEVER seen them disagree this hard on anything. They've had differing opinions before but neither of them is budging on this one. They split off and you can see what Molly said to him hurt. She seemingly chose what was more important to her. He seemed to look back as if he was debating on going back in to apologize to her for what he said and did too because she just wants to have a good time and he was trying to ruin that. But he decides he's the last thing she needs right now and starts to go home, only to get caught in a spectral snare.

Here's the REALLY important part I need y'all to listen closely:

He had every right to an "I told you so". He had every right to tell her never to see Ollie again and to even consider moving just to save his metaphorical skin. But he doesn't. She apologizes first and he interjects with his own apology for trying to ruin her night. Her happiness is what's most important to him now. That priority shift happened since Out of House and Home, maybe arguably even sooner. He doesn't tell her never to see him again, in fact he IMPLIES that she should be able to do what she wants and he wouldn't interfere anymore. It was Molly's choice to cut it off with Ollie after seeing Scratch in that much danger.

He's still a self centered jerk with possessive tendencies and separation anxiety but it's important to point out that he recognizes Molly as her own person and he shouldn't interfere with her happiness. I think season 1a Scratch wouldn't have even LET her go to the dance with a ghost hunter as her co-chair to begin with. I know I don't need to defend Scratch's actions since most people are on his side in this episode (a weird change of pace) but I needed to get my thoughts out about him and his development so far. My boy has come so far, they feel like good, real friends. Also I'm just gonna reiterate Molly wasn't completely at fault here because she just wanted to enjoy the dance and both her and Scratch had equal fault in this scenario, that's called ✨good writing✨, you don't have to pick a side. THE WORLD ISN'T BLACK AND WHITE, OLLIE

I hope they address Scratch's jealous nature in a future episode, especially since they're hinting towards an Ollie redemption. After the ghost hunting fear is gone, that jealousy is gonna still be there, I'm kind of hoping after that talk outside of the school where Scratch resigned himself to whatever Molly wanted to do, he wouldn't be too jealous of him and we won't have a Friend-Off 2 or something. (Although if he decides to be a little petty and messes with Ollie a little, I welcome that. That sounds really funny honestly)

I feel like halfway through this I just started rambling, I hope my point made it across clearly LOL tldr; scratch is a well written character and he means so much to me and if I see any Molly/Ollie/Mollie slander on my account I will be throwing hands <3

#the ghost and molly mcgee #tgamm #tgamm spoilers #tgamm season 2 #long reads #character analysis #scratch mcgee #and i care them so much #the besties ever #im so excited for this season #i think about 5a a lot if you cant tell #i have many thoughts and hate seeing this ep misrepresented #which i see often #thank you for reading

[mermaidsirennikita]

Ok, so what are your top absolute favorite marriage of convenience books?

So, in terms of actual marriage of convenience books (which I personally view differently from arranged or forced marriage books; I also think a true marriage of convenience book needs it to happen in the first half of the book, like it's the main plot versus something that just kinds happens) my absolute favorites include:

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas--obvious but extremely good

Scandal's Bride--Catriona absolutely doesn't want to marry Richard, but she agrees because she may be pregnant with his baby (and Richard ain't gonna let any of his kids go without legitimacy) at that point and he's basically like "say yes and you and your family can keep your lands :)" which is kinda underhanded but she's equally underhanded, soooo

Possession by Adriana Anders--one of the few modern versions that works for me because it's a celebrity PR marriage; they marry shortly before the book but the whole arc is about it becoming a real marriage after he's discovered on tape with a woman who looks a looot like her (they agreed it being a marriage in name only so it's not actually cheating)

Fiona and the Enigmatic Earl by Grace Callaway--occurs early in the book, and they're both like, perfect aristos on the surface; but they hide their secret professions as spies/vigilantes. And there's voyeurism! It gives Mr. and Mrs. Smith vibes but with less angst.

The Recruit by Monica McCarty--they were being set up for an arranged marriage, but she pretended to be a maid and they hooked up, during which he told her he planned on keeping a mistress while he was married (he intended the mistress to be her lol); she then turns down the arrangement, but they have to have a marriage of convenience anyway when they run into each other a few months later and he realizes she's preeeegnaaaant

Wed to the Wild God by Ruby Dixon--this one is insane because he's a hedonistic god whose presence causes hedonism in humans, so they sleep together IMMEDIATELY; but she's normally brutally practical (and he's dreamy and... not....) so she agrees to a marriage of convenience for protection from his enemies; but oh my gosh, this book has one of the hottest scenes I've EVER read

When a Girl Loves an Earl by Elisa Braden--I mostly love this because SHE traps HIM, and it's only once they're married that she realizes that he's actually Scottish and ends up there; he's determined to not love her due to past trauma, and when he finally realizes he can't avoid it he's sooo sad lol

The Truth About Cads and Dukes by Elisa Braden--he marries her because his brother (non-sexually) compromised her and he's a stern, non-nonsense duke; another one where the hero is determined not to love, but he's obsessed with her hands so he's doomed on that front from the jump

When the Earl Met His Match by Stacy Reid--this is the Scottish one where she comes to him, having only been penpals with him, so that she can protect her unborn baby by another man from her parents; he agrees to marry her and claim the baby for her connections, and it's all extremely romantic with one of my favorite grovels

Wicked in Your Arms by Stacy Reid--the one where he deflowers her in a closet despite hating her, and they then immediately run into his mom in the hallway while she's crying and he's chasing her down... which prompts a shotgun wedding ASAP

A Caribbean Heiress in Paris by Adriana Herrera--I like this one where it's a true marriage of convenience, mutually beneficial, and it's supposed to basically be all business, as they plan on calling it off in a certain time frame... and then it's not

Lush Money by Angelina M. Lopez--another contemporary, but this is the one where he grudgingly agrees to marry her because he's the prince of a tiny country that needs a financial bailout from her, a billionaire; and she agrees to do it because she wants him to father her child lmao

The Viscount and The Vixen by Lorraine Heath--he marries her because she answered an ad for a wife from his crazy old dad, and he believes she's a con artist; so naturally he points out that the ad (which also promised a major payout if she doesn't get a husband) only said that the husband had to be a lord, not that it had to be his dad, so HE SHALL MARRY HER CHECK AND MATE. What he doesn't know is that she actually answered the ad because she's pregnant and trying to escape the father, so she feels very conflicted as they fall in looove.

Lord of Darkness by Elizabeth Hoyt--in this one they're kinda dealing with the aftereffects of the marriage, which happened because her brother sorta blackmailed the guy into marrying her because she was pregnant out of wedlock and the father died. Then she miscarried right after the wedding and went to live separately from the hero, but she's back in town DEMANDING that he put a baby in her (little does she know, he's a masked vigilante by night and a nerdy widower by day)

The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare--the classic "he's a scarred duke whose fiancee bails on him, and she made the wedding dress and shows up wearing it demanding payment, so naturally he's like fine I need an heir let's get married instead"

The Duke I Tempted by Scarlett Peckham--the hero and heroine enter into a fairly conventional marriage of convenience, but she doesn't realize that he actually likes to submit

#romance novel blogging #romance novels #book recs

[dragonhordesfandoms]

Writeblr Intro!!

Figured I should do an introduction for my little crevice of the internet! 

I go by HoneyBe, or just Honey, or just Be, or really any other name you feel like! I mostly use she/her, they/them pronouns, but feel free to use whatever. I’m in my 20s and on the AroAce spectrum. I’ve been writing on and off since middle school and I’m hoping to get better at improving my skills, because 12 year old me didn’t care about that but 20 year old me does. I’m hoping to find (or build) a little community to support and help each other with all the writing things. Mostly though, this is just me gaslighting and guilt tripping myself into thinking that by not writing and posting, I will disappoint a nonexistent audience on the internet and not just myself, because apparently that’s the only way my brain will cooperate with me. 

Couple other little tidbits about me:

Big fan of the found family trope. Literally will make me squeal at a highly obnoxious volume.

LOVE extensive world building. I want to know every detail of a magic system and how a planet operates. I will listen to you rant about lore for hours, just please let me do the same every once in a while. I am begging, please, I want to tell you all the things.

I’m a little funky photographer trying to start her own little funky photography business, mostly to give myself more time to travel and write and also to get out of my full-time retail job (it’s pure hell and I hate it with an unholy, unmatchable heat of a thousand suns).

I love flowers. They’re just so pretty and as a little honeybee myself, it’s part of my job.

If you mention dragons, you will summon me. I have an obsession with the magical creatures and it knows no bounds.

My Main WIP, or I guess world, is what got me into writing in the first place, and I’ve been messing with it for years. You’d think that would mean I have it decently fleshed out, right? Nope. Unfortunately, The Plot keeps escaping my basement and causing a train wreck. If anyone has better restraint suggestions, let me know. My neighbors are starting to get concerned.

Anywho! The whole world is called The Seven Realms, or as my docs are titled, 7R. I know, so original. She wants to grow up and be a series with little series siblings, all connected in one Big Family. Seriously, I have OCs all over this world’s history and very vague vibes, aka, The Plot, to go along with them. Here are my two main ones.

Eclipse of War Chronicles (EoWC)

Colliding Stars (supposedly book 1)

The Realms are in chaos. A war started nearly a hundred years ago, still raging today, has wrecked both sides. The original intent of the war has long left everyone’s mind; it’s now a fight over territory and unification. The Realms border on complete and totally collapse from the strain of this ongoing blood bath and neither side refuses to admit defeat.

Project Viall, created during the hight of the war, was set on creating superior fighters. After many failed attempts, two successful subjects were created from the genetic experiments.Trained side by side to be flawless and merciless loyal weapons of death, they end up on opposite sides of this vicious war. Both intent on destroying the other, unaware their partner and closest friend hides behind the mask. Bonds are tested. Secrets revealed. Loyalties made and destroyed as two partners threaten to destroy the entirety of the Realms in their hunt for blood.

Legend of the Ancients (LotA)

The Fallen Dragons (supposedly book 1 of another series)

A brutal war has left the dragons all but extinct. To preserve the species, the remaining dragons have gone into hiding, leaving behind a subspecies borne through the war to fend for themselves: the Tanimoriem. Generations later, no one has seen or heard of a dragon, leaving the Tanimoriem as their only remains to once was. Knowing little of their history and being hunted simply for being kin to dragons, the Tanimoriem learned how to fight viciously and keep to themselves, earning a reputation as vile, unfeeling demons.

Accepting a bounty mission, Ryuk, a seasoned Tanimoriem, gets more than he bargained for. He had been told this was another monster that needed killing. A dangerous beast. Instead he’s met with a child who finds his horns and wings fascinating. Ryuk is forced to look after the child until he can figure out what secretive plot is brewing, because it might just involved the Tanimoriem.

Of course, my goblin brain has given me plenty more snippets and random characters in different times in this world that I have yet to do much with. The world of the Seven Realms has consumed me for years and I have been shown no mercy. I’m planning to do a proper intro post to each WIP and their characters at some point… *puts twenty reminders in phone to write intro posts*

Also!! I will take all asks and DMs you can throw at me. Literally. Ask me about anything. Books, WIPs, OCs, hell, even ask about my least favorite color or my favorite bread. I do not care. I will answer. I want to be friends will all of you!! I don’t sting! I promise!!

#writeblr #writeblr intro #wip #writerscommunity #writers on tumblr #original worlds #original work #I don't know what I'm doing so bare with me

[aflyingcontradiction]

Tagged by @ante--meridiem - thank you! I always appreciate it!

Currently reading: The Casual Vacancy by JKR. Yes, yes, I'm well aware. But I'm decluttering my bookshelf right now, where it's been gathering dust since I first read it in 2013, and all the books are getting one more read before I make choices about them. For what it's worth, I'm still enjoying her writing reasonably well, but it's going on the to-go pile after.

Currently watching: I now have - let me count - six different combinations of people that I watch stuff with. I would need a spreadsheet to answer this question properly. But the shows I've watched most recently are Carnivale (a somewhat eerie show from the early 2000s about a carnival in Great Depression America - would recommend!), Carol & The End of The World (a ... "pre-apocalyptic" animated show that does some really interesting shit with its premise), Twisted Metal (a post-apocalyptic comedy that is cheesy as fuck but I'm enjoying it a lot so far because all the tropes are right up my alley), We own this city (a show about police corruption and brutality in the US that really demands you actually pay attention cause it features multiple interweaving timelines and it took me a while to understand what was happening, but it's really good) and the latest season of True Detective (which is also, admittedly, rather cheese-covered but the spooky parts and the mystery seem to actually work really well for me).

Currently obsessed with: You know, I think I might be between obsessions at the moment. Or maybe just not enough headspace right now.

Last song listened to: Honest answer? Some completely forgettable song from my Spotify weekly recommendations. Last song I actually REMEMBER listening to was Storm to Weather by Grace Petrie (also I just discovered her the other week and not only do I find her voice swoon-worthy, her discography is also a combination of genuinely unique-sounding love songs, political songs mostly about the UK and songs about the queer experience and it's all well worth listening to!)

Tagging @lovethatcoat, @abhumanaex0, @octopuscato, @soryualeksi and @bakomglaset

#tag meme

[cantsayidont]

June-July 1972. Following Orion's brutal but inconclusive battle with Kalibak in "The Death Wish of Terrible Turpin," THE NEW GODS #9 finds Lightray in Orion in a more reflective moment. This is probably my favorite scene from the original Fourth World books, and an excellent example of Kirby's approach to characterization, so let's take a more detailed look at it.

Orion is not merely battered and scarred in this sequence: The ferocity of his battle with Kalibak has revealed his true face, which we previously learned he alters using his Mother Box. Lightray is Orion's friend and so knows not to press this point; at the end of the previous issue, he handed Orion his helmet and said only, "I saw scars---both new and old--taken in the cause of New Genesis!"

Consequently, while Orion is in a decidedly bitter mood, he is conscious of Lightray's feelings. Lightray, for his part, is laying it on a bit thick deliberately in hopes of cheering his friend up:

I said before that the dialogue in Kirby's Fourth World books often has a theatrical tone to it, with a cadence like something from a stage play. That appears to have been intentional, as evidenced by the fact that Eve Donner, the woman in the pink coat, is a playwright. (She could just as well have been anything else that would justify her very expensive apartment, so the selection of her profession is obviously a deliberate choice.) Note that while Orion seemed to soften for a moment when it was just him and Lightray, Eve's presence has brought his sardonic streak back to the fore:

The book cuts away for a bit to a different plotline (involving the Bugs of New Genesis). In the interim, Lightray has apparently persuaded Orion to lie down and take a nap on a cot Eve has brought out:

The dialogue has a stage play vibe, but this is clearly a cinematic moment; you could do this on stage, but not with a closeup like this.

Note that while Lightray is superficially more polite than Orion, his condescension about "primitive" Earth customs remains in full force. (The people of New Genesis do eat food, so Lightray is just being a dick about that.) Eve, meanwhile, puts her hand too close to the fire and gets her fingers burned:

Writers other than Kirby who've used Orion have a tendency to make him a sort of insensate rage monster, sometimes literally foaming at the mouth, but here, there's a clear shift between his simply being bitter and irritable and his actually losing his temper. Note that while he's annoyed by Eve's patronizing attitude, what sets Orion off is recalling that the battle is still undecided. From Orion's perspective, Kalibak, captured by the Metropolis police in the previous issue, has escaped. (At this point, Kalibak is actually in a cell downtown, but I don't think Orion knows that here, or would care if he did.) And, of course, Kalibak is just a pawn of the true villain. In any case, when Orion really loses his cool, everyone in the neighborhood knows it:

Note the visual contrast with what Lightray did on p. 7 above: Lightray brings light to Orion's world, or tries to, but Orion's presence brings shadows. Eve, meanwhile, is smart enough to know she should be scared now:

Eve may be frightened, but she's not so intimidated by Orion that she can't immediately cut through his bullshit:

Note that even when he's furious or full of contempt, Orion is never less than articulate; he's just bitter. After this, he leaves, but not before remarking to Eve, "And, though I pay for victory with death---I shall seek you out in that final moment! At that moment, madam---you'll have the choice of greeting me with scorn---or a tear!" Eve seems unsure whether to take this as a come-on or a threat, but when it comes to Orion, there may not be much difference.

Is this realistic dialogue? Not especially, but it is mostly very well-crafted, and while there are some wording choices that clunk a bit (to say nothing of Kirby's eccentric punctuation, which is a pain to transcribe), the characterization in this scene is very sharp. (The anatomy of Lightray's fingers in the last panel not really so much, but that's another matter.)

#comics #new gods #fourth world #jack kirby #mike royer #orion #lightray #eve donner

[onlyplatonicirl]

henlo it is i the headcANON, here to go ramble about everyone's favourite little guy, casey. its insane to me just how much you've endeared me and many other tcoti fans to this silly fella

i can see casey going to a religious school (the only difference from a non religious school is you learn re but literally no one cares lol), most parents will try and send their kids there cause they are known for being better schools (they get more funding for extra lessons), and casey couldnt give less of a shit about it

i also think he wouldve went to an all boys school, he just sorts acts like he did lol

whilst in school my man would try and break every single dress code policy known to man, half of the time hed just show up in his pe clothes, the other time hed show up with no tie, no jacket, a coat and whatever else he could fet his hands on that he wasnt supposed to have (english schools have really strict dress codes, idk why its dumb)

he knows a small amount of spanish, in most british schools you are forced to do mfl (modern foreign languages) and its usually either french or spanish (you rarely have a choice to pick which you want to do), some will let you pick up german and even mandarin but thats usually at gcse level or as an extracurricular activity (which most kids are also forced to do). he isnt fluent in spanish, not by a long shot, but he definitely knows how to have a conversation, albeit very scripted and short. however, one thing he does understand is how to swear in spanish, and what it sounds like. i imagine him and his friends just looking it up on the laptops during class time, definitely to annoy their teacher.

so i have this image in my head that gray doesnt like swearing all that much (maybe fresh got to him lol), so he tends to swear in spanish or french because the british boy wont understand - alas he does

casey could not be arsed with most lessons because he didnt really care about getting a good education since he couldnt see all that bright of a future for himself, if one at all, but he was actually quite good at maths and history, even when he tried not to be

he has been shown on more than one occasion, undernovella, and whilst he was put off it due to it 1. being in spanish, and 2. the cast being played 99% by monsters, he actually really ended up enjoying it by the end

hes also been getting into anime and manga ("dude its like a comic book but even more brutal"), mostly shonen like one punch man and dragon ball, but he also really enjoyed sailor moon and doesnt want to admit to it, he liked the romance and friendship aspect of it, also pretty girls

he has always been into comic books, his favourite super heroes are deadpool and spiderman

before he met gray (properly), he mostly played shooter games (ones that were free or cheap), fortnite, valorant, and a pirated copy of fifa, because thats what guys play. if his past self saw his year 4 stardew valley save file, hed spontaneously combust

i think he also plays splatoon now, he mains the dualies because theyre cool, hed definitely be an inkling as well but thats an au for another day

zelda too

despite everything thats happened, he really did grow to love his last foster mum, she was a single lady and she treated him like her own son. hes had bad experiences with the foster care system in the past (breaking news: fork found in kitchen), parents only taking him in for the money, some wanting to complete their family and forcing him to live by their ideals, all that bad stuff, which is why he often ran away from them. he had run away from his last foster mum, two times before, but it was very early into their relationship before they got to understand each other better.

his last foster mum asked him what his hobbies were his first night at her house, he didnt know, so she suggested he pick up an instrument - he decided the guitar, because it looked cool. he almost cried when she offered to buy him lessons, he didnt take her up on the offer, determined to learn it by himself, and he did

he has a really nice singing voice he'll never let anyone see - hes a lyric baritone

also whilst in canon hes a brummie, i like to imagine he was born a bit further north (hes a mackem to me), and moved to birmingham to be with his most recent and last foster parent, and that he lived there for so long thats hes picked up the accent

he felt really bad leaving her but managed to convincr himself that she would be better off without someone like him in her life

casey is a very traumatised child, he has a lot of triggers and boundaries he doesnt fully understand himself, plus a boat load of unhealthy coping mechanisms (mainly smoking and socially isolating himself)

he tries to keep his bad habits a secret from gray, because he doesnt know how he would feel about it - he knows, he doesnt like it but he isnt exaclty the greatest at having healthy coping mechanisms himself, at the very least he tries to get him to swap one for another, instead of smoking play stardew valley with me for 37 hours straight :) ?

he often struggles with the idea that hes a burden, so he doesnt let people spend money on him, or give him gifts

he also struggles to express his emotions (hes british unfortunately), and has a hard time saying 'i love you' to anyone, the only person he never strugfled saying that to was his mum

bit of a trigger warning, im going to be talking about casey's injuries and all that jazz, so if you dont wanna read, head to the next bullet point! casey shouldnt be alive, the injuries he suffered were severe, the paramedics were convicned he was a lost cause (still they have to do everything they can), so it was a shock to all when he pulled through. this was, however, not without a bit of a battle, and it left permanent effects on his health. casey's lungs are horribly scarred (smoke inhalation will do that to you), and it doesnt help that he smoked before and after. his nerves on the left side of his body where the support beam collapsed on him, are quite literally fried. where it hit directly, he cannot feel anything there, the areas that were dames by the fire however are unbelievably sensitive and painful to the touch. even after the scar healed it stills remains sensitive, so he bandages up those areas. the beam also broke and bruised a lot of his bones, mostly his ribs and the bones in his arms. his left ear is also burnt, and a portion of it, mostly the tips of it, are straight up missing. after recovering from the initial injury, he had a skin graft taken from his right thigh to supplement the damage done to the left side of his face. for a while after he had to take a lot of pain meds, and undergo a ton of therapy both mental and physical - even still hes not fully healed

casey loves animals, particularly dogs. his last foster mother had a german shepherd, and he used to let it sleep on his bed. it made him feel safe and loved. dogs and cats also just like to come up to him on the street, bros a disney princess for real

beefed with paperjam for a while, both had a lack of trust in each other, but they got to be on equal ground after a while, that didnt last long, not since after chapter 31..

hes fighting demons (bisexuality)

ever since he met gray and by extension his wack ass family, hes grown more and more accustomed to monster culture, particularly their disregard for gender norms and compulsive heterosexuality, and hes been experimenting with his gender expression, he never thought hed actually enjoy dressing in pink or taking care of his hair. he tried painting his nails, but did not have the patience to let them dry, he still sometimes wears it, albeit chipped and blotchy, but he thinks it suits him

he has always been fine with being labelled a man, but sometimes he doesnt feel as though it fits him, not entirely, hes not sure what his gender is because sometimes male really does fit him, but other times he just wants to throw the whole concept of gender away, hes stuck with unlabelled for a while and feels as though it somewhat fits him

he once buzzed his hair cause all the guys in his school did for whatever reason, he cried for several hours afterwards and got nicknamed sampson for a week, biggest mistake of his life - bro experienced dysphoria for the first time in his life

celebrates gyftmas because its way cooler than christmas (I NEED A GRACEY GYFTMAS ONESHOT ASAP), he celebrates the majority of monster holidays since everyone (1 to 2 people at max lmao) in the house he currently lives in does too. is confused as to what monster halloween is supposed to be

likes going out with gray (which is once in a blue moon), his favourite spot is waterfall, but he also really likes snowden and hotland

- headcANON

Holy shit HEADCANON I AM EATING SO WELL

Also I hope you don’t mind me tagging @ottererpop because they’re a Casey enthusiast as well and they must see all of this solid gold.

I Must respond to some of these AAA

- I talked with multiple people about how Casey is ABSOLUTELY breaking every dress code he possibly can. Like he would come to school in the bare minimum to not get expelled but his “uniform” would just be wrinkled to hell and his tie would just hang around his neck completely untied

- Casey is genuinely intelligent and if he actually tried in school he would do really well. However he’s a massive shithead and doesn’t care because of how depressed he is

- I do have a very specific speech pattern and tone of voice for him in my head but I’m not sure exactly how to write it. Also about him being from Birmingham - he’s not really from the main city itself but more generally around that area, so he very well could lived farther north and end up closer to the main city has he went to live with foster parents. Im purposefully avoiding getting too detailed with exact places and cities because then it just becomes hyper-specific.

- he absolutely would love undernovella - he love sitcoms so he would adore those over-dramatic plot twists

- He and his current foster mom (before he left ofc) have a tolerable relationship. She was often gone from the house and left him to his own devices, so he would mostly just skip school and play games on his computer all day, which did annoy her significantly.

- his smoking is partially a coping mechanism, partially a peer pressure “cool guy” thing that he picked up, and partially something that could very subtlety equate to self-harm. I could get into a whole thing about his smoking habits. He doesn’t smoke that often, but it is definitely something he tries to hide from Gray. Or at least not make it obvious. Like I said recently PJ has caught him smoking cigs over the kitchen sink while Gray’s been asleep.

- you are correct in your assumption that he doesn’t feel anything on the part of his torso that was severely burnt.

- I’m sure he has shaved all his hair off at some point. In the past he for-sure had one of those haircuts that’s short and buzzed all on the sides but long on the top, or at least buzzed in the back.

- gray’s family and the entire omega timeline being extremely unlabeled when it comes to gender and sexuality, like it’s not a big deal in the slightest, is definitely a massive change for Casey and he struggles to understand it. He’s grown up in an environment where he’s constantly felt like he has to prove how tough and unfeeling he is in order to get ahead. That’s why he’s so embarrassed of his severe sweet tooth, because he’s scared it comes across as “girly”. He’s by no means sexist but he definitely is over-anxious about not being perceived as “weak”.

- I’m sure he would absolutely adore waterfall :)

#ask lorel #anon #tcoti #casey #headcanon will you marry me slash jay

[the---hermit]

Niente Di Nuovo Sul Fronte Di Rebibbia by Zerocalcare

If you read my posts often you know Zerocalcare by now, since in the past few weeks I have been catching up with some of the graphic novels by him I hadn't read yet. This book in particular is another collection of short non fiction in graphic form. It's shorter than other books by him, but it's very dense, as the topics he talks about are quite intense. Since it's just five chapters I will say a few words on each.

The first story is about the rebellions that took place in several Italian prisons during the pandemic, with a focus on Rebibbia (since the author lives there). He shares the experiences of some people he spoke to, some who were in prison at the time, and people who had loved one in prison then. He ventures to reflect on the whole prison situation in the country, and doesn't shy away from police brutality inside prisons. It was very touching, it triggered a lot of reflections for me, and it was overall a great opening chapter to this book.

The second chapter focuses on the health care system. How it is in fact not provided as is should, since public structures are shut down so often it either pushes people into waiting lists that can last years, or into private solutions that cause people to spend an insane amount of money. It's so accurate it's scary, it makes you realize thar at the end of the day dystopic situations aren't as far off from reality as we's like to think.

The third chapter was a deep dive in cancel culture in Italy, and oh boy it was great. He did a great job at putting back into perspective all those people who love to say that "we live in an era in which you can't say anything anymore", which is a sentence I hear way too much. I think this chapter was very well done because it could reach anybody for its language and topics and it's exactly what we need.

The fourth chapter deals with a topic we know is very dear to this author, which is the Kurdish resistence in the Middle East. Zerocalcare has an entire graphic journalism pubblication on the topic, and continues to actively report on the situation is a great way that makes these complicated political dynamics very accessible.

Finally the last chapter is more self-reflective. It deals with his experience in creating a series with Netflix, and it mostly focuses on his personal emotional journey in embarking is such a big project. It was really good to see this side of things, and as you might know from previous reviews I wrote on his books I have a soft spot for his more self reflective stories.

I tried to give a very general and simplified idea of the topics of the book, but I surely didn't give it justice. There were several passages that physically made me shiver, it's a great book. I have praised his writing a lot and I stand by it. I love the storytelling this man is capable of, his ability to deal with incredibly important and heavy topics without letting go of a humorous side that makes everything more accessible for a larger audience. This is one of the authors I would by anything from without checking the plot because I trust him so much.

I read this book for the bright colours on the cover prompt of the jumbo reading challenge.

#2023 book #book #books #bookish #book cover #graphic novel #zerocalcare #niente di nuovo sul fronte di rebibbia #book rec #book review #book recommendation #reading #bookblr #booklr #studyblr #mine #the---hermit

[popculturebuffet]

Thomas and Friends Series 4 Retrospective Part 1: Back on the Rails (Commissioned by Lachey V)

Hello all you silly engines and welcome back to my look at Thomas and Friends

Granted unlike my venture bros retrospective which is going on...

Since I made a new chapter thanks to near endless delays, this one was simply on hiatus to make way for it's sister series Tugs. During my Tugs Sabatical we saw 10 minutes of watery explosions, attempted military massacres, piracy, gangsters, and undertakers wanting an old boat to rest.. in.. pieces. That they scavanged. It was a fun ride, having similar pacing to thomas but not that. Now we're back to the mothership though, and while boats were exploding, the OG chugged on and it's budget was only increasing with better puppets and more success. And there was only one thing to do with that money

And after that use said money to finally adapt the remaining railway series books. As a refresher a bunch of the books coudln't be adapted because they starred narrow gage engines, i.e. smaller engines that would've been way too expensive to produce let alone make expressive enough on the early seasons budget. So now they had the money, it was an easy decision to just adapt those books.

The problem was while the decision was easy the actual trains were like living in a living nightmare: they broke down easily, the face mechanics often froze , and they had to create smoke around them as they coudln't smoke naturally.

As a result though the first half of the season focuses not on our main crew of stupid train children but an entirely NEW crew of stupid train children the other train children tell stories about at night. At first I was excited.... but then I realized I had to try and keep track of an entirely NEW set of trains that not only still mostly had red, green or blue colors but size aside STILL didn't look all that diffrent from the mainline trains. OH and two fo them have TWO sets of names

The good news at least is that while the trains are all new they at least usually come in pairs or get pretty detailed backstories so while I forget the names still, it's still easier to keep track of them. I'll also say the amount of introductions brings variety back to the series again, something it kinda needed. It's still mostly stupid train children fuck up or get fucked up by trucks, but the fuck ups at least are caused due to new interactions and not gordon being the worst.... most of the time. So let's see whose new, whose old but also new and who gets turned into a generator and dies.

Granpuff/Sleeping Beauty The framing device for these first two appearnces is simple enough: Thomas and friends can't sleep one night, so thomas tells them the story of Duke, an elderly gage engine and his co workers Peter Sam and Sir Handel. They are refered to as Stuart and Falcon here and i'm torn between the fact this is a very nice touch (as engines like being renamed).. and the facts that this is both annoying for me to remember, which is a me problem, and that arbitrarily renaming beings that already have names seems entirely fucked up.

The story itself is charming for the most part: Peter and Handel tease the older more cautious Duke, but slowly bond with him and are devistated when he has to be put away when the railway is closed. Thankfully unlike tugs, instead of being sold for parts Duke is simply kept in storage and goes into the Odinsleep till he can be found again. Unthankfully.. another engine on the line is not that lucky. After tugs I wasn't fully convinced Thomas would ever match the sheer brutality i'd witnessed in the first batch alone. Well i'm as scared as I am proud to announce while Thomas didn't match the ten minutes of naval mutation explosions it does have a train punished by being forced to become a generator because he keeps acting up.. and then MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEAR WHEN THE LINE IS SHUT DOWN. I never thought the series would SUPRASS henry's fate in horror but here we are. I mean Bricking him up where he can't see is horrific.. but this engine was gutted, turned into a power source then presumibly mercy killed. He was in a living hell of functioning but not being able to ever move.. .it's unkown if he could even SPEAK as he's shown just iwth a horrifying grin on his face.

The second half thankfully contains no such horrors: Instead the duo had never forgotten their mentor and surrogate dad and his tale kept and years later the fat controller funds a bunch of people looking for him. Stuart is found, refurbished and returns to his friends. It's the most heartwarming story containing body horror since Home on the Range.

Bulldog: Once again i'm reminded that as insane as Tugs was.. Thomas can still be a heck of a lot on it's own. Case in points not only have the trains now framed a picture of duke, but Duke rescues SIR HANDEL FROM DERAILING OFF A CLIFF. Yes really. This show has a literal cliffhanger... though sadly this isn't a two parter. Sir Handel takes a turn too sharply and held onto falcon.. er sir handle.. you... you see how this is confusing? Anyways how does he do that?

But their able to combine the trains and get him free, a genuinely heroic and awesome act. A decent enough episode

You Can't Win: Duke plays a trick on Peter Sam. I fall asleep and dream a bit of style, dream a bunch of friends, dream it never ends. This episode is what makes reviewing this series difficult.. sometims I just have nothing. It's the peril of doing a show mostly of morality plays for kids, when weird crap isn't going on I just kinda end up rambling like this.

Four LIttle Engines: This episode title makes no sense and I have no idea why i'ts called this. I guess because 4 engines are in it but it dosen't really impact the plot? Anyways thankfully this one is memorable: We're introduced to Skarloey, an older red engine who i'm able to remember better both because they gave him a unique nose and because his name is Skarloey. You don't go seeing a bunch of characters named Skarloey. Jeff yes, Kevin yes, even your ocasional jake but Skarloey is the one of a kind badass that breaks the ... however trains are assembled and proves himself. In this case Sir Handel gets horribly injured because his coaches decide to be dicks, and for once someone calls the trucks or coaches out, with Skarloey pointing out they could've hurt someone or worse. He then procedes to pull his passengers effortlessly and on time to meet james for the trade off, a small reminder these trains are both on sodor that's peppered throughout the stories after the first three had wraparounds. This would be fine but what takes it over the top is Skarloey somehow tops the little engine that could in train child persivernce as half his wheel sbreak down forcing him to get them through while leaning to the left. And trust me having playeda LOT of tears of the kingdom recently getting a vehicle to still move when the weights shifted is a fucking work of art. Skarloey is a train among trains and one of the seasons standouts.

Bad Day for Sir Handel Sir Handel dosen't want to do the work today, though he's partially right as after a long day carrying passengers, and admiring gordon NEVER a good sign of character, he's told to pull trucks. His response is the very mature deraling himself and holding everyone else up. The Fat Controller does get cross with him and put him on suspension, but i'll givfe the series credit for the character development: he simply suspends the train for misbehaving instead of bricking him up in a tunnel for always and always or rendering him sentient but imobile as his body is used as a living generator. I mean it's a very low bar to clear but hey he's learning.

Peter Sam And the Refreshment Lady: Henry proves he may need more time in the tunnel as he threatens to leave without taking Peter Sam's passengers if PS is late again, causing peter sam to nearly leave the Refreshment Lady behind. She's the one who brings the workmen their tea and cakes dammit. WIthout them they can't operate these sentient trains and the presumed mounds of flesh and boney seats within. You can't operate a styigan horror without some cake. Henry claims it was just a joke but wasn't saying it in a joking tone so how the heck would Peter Sam knows. As someone who can often be oversentstive I sympathise with PS here.

Trucks: We get my faviorite character of the season here as we meet Rusty, a kind diesel and as noted before the first one in the series not to either be a deciptive shit stirring asswagon (Disel) or simply be a bit arrogant (Daisy). It seems eventually the old reverned backed off his fathomless hatred for Disel trains or at least toned it down a bit. Rusty is kind, polite and happy to work the lines.

Sir Handel on the other hand is a dick again and gets lesson from the supereme heavenly king of all douchebag train children himself, Gordon, who advises him to play ill and as usual gets away scot free while Peter Sam gets injured as the trucks hate Sir Handel and attack peter sam and Handel saddled with his work. It just reminds me why Gordon is irritating, but Rusty pitching in to help his friend is nice.

Home At Last: Skarloey returns baby! And in time to fill in for the other star of this season, Duncan. Duncan is an asshole, but has more personality and range than gordon, so he'll be allowed to live when the reckoning comes. Duncan gets jammed in a tunnel due to doing his rock n roll.. because apparently he's not a very big fan of batman. Remember what Batman says about Punk and Rock Kids.

You know lately i've been behind, a lot of stress in my life has caused me to procastinate more.. but it's times like this where I get to put a batman: fortunate son refrence in a thomas the tank engine review i'm reminded just how glorious life can be. Anyways the Fat Controller is on team batman and threatens duncan with murder should he not shape up. And I mean the wiki tries to play it off as a joke, but the man has bricked a train up for always and always and madea nother into a living suffering battery. I don't doubt he'd do far worse to Duncan if he crossed the line.

Rock N Roll: So this episode continues the weird trend of our main characters making things worse for the new cast every time they appear. Case in point Duncan is being a dick about Rusty

And James makes it worse by pointing out how they got rid of a disel.. not knowing that Rusty is a good precious boy how dare you, and with James not knowing that he had nothing to do with that because as the narration points out, James has an ego the size of the railway itself. This thankfully dosen't end with Duncan's death though and instead in a heartwarming way: Duncan derails due to ignoring Rusty's sound advice to not goo too fast on a bit of broken railway and while Rusty saves him shockingly unlike most saves like this in the series, Rusty is.. humble about it. After about 80 or so episodes of trains rubbing misfortune in.. Rusty just lets it go, saves Duncan and offers to be friends, with Duncan warmly accepts. It's a nice sweet moment in a series that really thrives on humilation and misery in hindsight. I"ve noticed most episodes involve either the trains ribbing each other or train dickery causing problems. Here the latter is true but we instead get a Ted Lassioan response from Rusty that really warms the soul. Truly good stuff.

Special Funnel Normally i'd have nothing to talk about for this one. Peter Sam's funnel gets knocked off, he gets an embarassing replacement then gets a neat new one. But while the episode was typical for this show , I didn't watch the version I normally do. See I use youtube since it has most episodes and even with this season having a lot of them blocked i still managed to find most of them. The one exception.. was this episode. So while I could've just looked it up, I decided to have some fun and do something diffrent: I watched the AMERICAN version. Which is free in my region by the way, so if your curious about the show you can find the entire series up to a point on youtube for free. The results.. weren't too diffrent. THe script was likely largely the same and George Carlin is nearly as great as Ringo Starr and Michea Angelis. I do feel the latter two do a better job with the voices for the characters, but Carlin still does a fucktastic job, which I feel is exactly how he'd want that described. So it's not a bad way to watch it , just slightly off after watching the uk edit and not QUITE AS good, but still a fine way to watch it and it was neat to finally try it.

Steam Roller: This one is just fun as everyone is tired of Sir Handel bragging and unlike Gordon and his trains, can actually do something about him, setting him up against a racist steam roller for a race and then laughing at him for loosing. I guess that's a lesson? I mean the steamroller is a pretty bad person, he deserved to be sent away. Sir Handel isn't exactly worse for simply being arrogant. He's not a steamracist. A weird one but a fun one just for how off it feels. And giving me the term steamracist.

Passsengers and Polish So Skaloey gets a polishing from a small child

Duncan is jealous and eventually refuses to work at all, and what I like is that for once.. a train learns nothing. The Fat Controller scolds him but he's still pissed he didn't get his polish. Nothing is acomplished. I"m not saying every episode needs to be like this but it's a nice break from either trains learning via scolding or psychological torture.

Gallant Old Engine We get followup on Duncan being a dick and Skarloey, true to form, while disapointed in him, decides to handle it with a story. Because Skarloey like Rusty is the best. In this case he tells him how the soon to arrive and recently refurbished friend of Skarloey's, Renias, saved this entire railway himself. THis part of the sodor railway was about to be shut down, and with Skar Skar sick< Reinas stepped up, doing everything he could despite rain and exaustion to get to the station on time> Rain, colds, breakdowns, he fought it all and perservered just like his best friend and won praise.. and gets Duncan to get his head out of his engine equilvent of an ass and show some respect. A fine capper for this batch. So with that we take a break and we'll be back next month to finish this as the old guard return in full and mingl emore iwth the new. Until then be a very useful engine.. and thanks for reading.

#thomas and friends #thomas the tank engine #george carlin #michea angelis #skarloey #sir handel #rhineas #peter sam #duncan

[runolllo]

Legends Arceus, 108 Wisps and Chinese Classics

I'm finally playing Pokemon Legends Arceus and I'm just realizing the game is somewhat inspired on the Chinese classic Shui Hu Zhuan, often localized as Water Margin, or as All Men Are Brothers, or also as (-The 108-) Outlaws of the Marsh.

*THIS POST MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS*

I have seen people comment on how Spiritomb and Typhlosion (Hisui variant) are related to the number 108 in various ways, as it's the novel I'll be discussing. To gather the Pokemon facts first, let's start mentioning that to get Spiritomb in Pokemon Arceus, you have to find the 108 wisps wandering around Hisui, and some of Spiritomb's Pokedex entries read:

'Exactly 108 spirits gathered to become this Pokémon. Apparently there are some ill-natured spirits in the mix.' 'It was bound to a fissure in an Odd Keystone as punishment for misdeeds 500 years ago.'

As for Hisuian Typhlosion, Professor Laventon says in the Pokedex 'Said to purify lost, forsaken souls with its flames and guide them to the afterlife.' Additionally, from the official Legends website we also learn the following:

'It emits ghost flames –said to number as many as 108- from the fires around its neck. These flames all attack the opponent, adopting the countenance of ferocious beasts.'

Some people already explained that the number 108 is significant in various Asian religions, but to be brief, it often revolves around the idea that there are 108 'temptations' on the way to Nirvana, 108 mundane 'feelings' in the way to purification, etc. and so, many rituals and traditions involve the number in some way (rosaries have 108 beads for this reason, temples sometimes have literally 108 steps, they ring bells 108 times, etc.)

Shui Hu Zhuan, or Water Margin, is among the Four Great Classical Novels of Chinese literature. JRPG enjoyers such as myself might have heard of it because of Suikoden or Eiyuden… being a Suikoden fan for as long as I've been a Pokemon fan, my impression is that this novel is not known to westerners, so allow me to explain further.

The plot revolves around the 108 Heroes or 'Stars of Destiny' seemingly inspired by the Taoist idea that everyone's destiny is tied to a Star. Generally speaking, this funny but also tragic brutal novel is about people from all walks of life, sometimes criminals, coming together to fight evil (mostly in the form of a corrupt disastrous government and the invading regions). It's about sworn family, about friendship, about repenting, about changing times… and about how beautiful women are evil because the novel is definitely a product of its time. A number of the adventures in the book are inspiration for the characters arcs in the game, as well as for the locations.

Back to the 108 wisps, Spiritomb and Hisuian Typhlosion; other than being possibly related to Hinduism and Buddhism, the way I think they can relate to the novel is explained by this Wikipedia quote that summarizes the lore of the books: 'The 108 Heroes represent 108 demonic overlords who were banished (…) Having repented since (…) the stars are released from imprisonment by accident, and are reborn in the world as 108 heroes who band together for the cause of justice.'

I don't have enough reliable sources to talk more about it and it's been some 15 years since I read this novel -a very mistranslated version apparently-. But I know for a fact that out of the 108 heroes/Stars of Destiny, there are 36 Heavenly Spirits and 72 Earthly Fiends. These 36 are generally higher ranked or more important in the novel, and if I'm not mistaken, there are 36 characters in Pokemon Arceus that are somewhat relevant, all being ancestors to other human characters in the series -including the antagonist-, a lot of them either officials of the Galaxy Team, Wardens and leaders of the Diamond and Pearl clans, or people of various 'mundane' talents helping Jubilife Town prosper… much like in the novel.

So yeah there are many little ways I which Game Freak seemed to take inspiration from Water Margin!

#pokemon legends arceus #typhlosion #spiritomb #Pokemon Lore #Suikoden #pokemon

[writeouswriter]

13 and 20 for the book rec asks?

Reblogged this ask game and then immediately blanked one everything I have ever read, but let's go:

13. your favorite romance novel?

I actually don't tend to read a lot of romance, especially not books that are just romance, just personally not my thing, though slow burns and cheesyness in that department have my heart when the right story comes around, but my favourite romance in a novel I've read has got to be between Casey Butler and Eric Dalton in City of the Lost/The Rockton Files series by Kelley Armstrong, which I absolutely never in a million years would recommend as a romance novel because it is an incredibly brutal mystery thriller set in an off the grid town full of criminals and such in the Yukon wilderness, but when I say it's the best, cutest, and as time goes on, most healthy relationships I've seen in fiction, I'm not lying. Also I'm in love with Dalton. It's actually one of the few books where I was more invested in the romance/relationships than the plot, though I do like the plot and it's one of my top ten novels, just... Dalton, *dreamy sigh*.

20. a book that got you out of a reading slump

Last year, I read the second book in the Mercy Thompson series, Blood Bound and then went on a reading and buying spree like nobody's business. I mean, I would consider myself pretty neutral on the Mercy Thompson series as a whole, three star territory for me, so I don't know why this one had me in a complete frenzy, but the pacing was spot on, and it was just really fun, which is weird to say about a book with a plot revolving around a serial killer demon using a vampire as his vessel, but hey, my reading momentum stayed with me till the end. Also I found the vampire politics and everything fascinating, like it's mostly a werewolf series but I honestly couldn't care less about them, the vampires are where it's at, and that's a weird statement coming from me, werewolf enthusiast extraordinaire. And as I said, heavy romance isn't my thing so I was happy with the level in this series, just a taste, you know, but also hypocrite that I am, there was this one kiss scene that I never expected would happen that made me so overwhelmingly stupidly giddy with joy that it actually swayed my opinion on the love triangle (my beloathed) and any time I think of the series it makes me mad because immediately after that they closed off the love triangle angle, which would usually be cause for celebration, but... but this one book was so good I was rooting for the other guy.

Anyway, those don't really sound like recs but thanks for letting me ramble. Both these books left me inexplicably frenzied with joy upon finishing them.

#ask game #books