#most of my hyperfixations all in one year

[commander-revan]

I'm going to be so insufferable this year.

#most of my hyperfixations all in one year #my favorite rpg series thats finally getting a game after 10 years #my comfort game growing up getting a movie adaptation #please god let it be good and let them get a good actor for shadow #and my favorite anime series getting a season that will cover some of my favorite and most heart-wrenching scenes in the manga #sorry not sorry for who i become in a few months #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #dragon age 4 #Dragon age #dragon age dreadwolf #da: dreadwolf #sonic movie #sonic adventure 2 battle #sonic 3 #sonic x shadow generations #shadow the hedgehog #Bnha #sonic movie 3 #sonic the hedgehog 3

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[moonlitkilljoy]

so. the line of tape. it's existence makes me lose my marbles to no end, but probably not in the way you'd expect. it's the fact that even with this clear divide they STILL spill over into the others space. i've see a lot of people talk about it as if it's this clear divide in the lab that hermann and newt steer clear from but that just isnt the case!

if it was, you'd expect the lab to look something like this layout

but look at the actual movie

it looks like more akin to something like this

newt's samples, tables, and stands for his dissection tools spill over the line right into hermann's space. there's definitely room on his side of the lab for everything, he's just. spread out across the entire lab instead. AND it seems like this is what the lab usually looks like, hermann only makes to point out the entrails on his side and not the rest of newts things, it's a shared space— not a divided one. what i'm saying is that even though hermann makes a big deal out of his side of the lab versus newts side vis-à-vis the intestines, he definitely doesn't care that much about separating himself from newt OR his space from newts space in general. the way i see it, they argue and bicker a lot but ultimately they find comfort in the others presence, hermann just doesn't want to deal with potentially-hazardous kaiju intestines right by his things ^^;

#pacific rim #pacrim #newmann #hermann gottlieb #newt geiszler #newton geiszler #benny beeps #should i tag this as newmann?????? unsure but im tagging it anyway because the intent is there #also yes i spent way too long illustrating the floor in a stylized and simplified yet faithful manner— what of it #anyway i love them and i'm thinking of them always #shoutout to gay scientists #and also to my friend toad for being willing to talk to me about these guys so often ^^ #AND ALSO TO MY FRIEND ATLAS. because he read me the most beautiful think piece about pacrim that he wrote the other day #and im still thinking about it #and one more shoutout to everyone who's interacted with me irl in the year of 2023 #because i have not been able to reel in my hyperfixation infodump terror radius at all ffdgjkdlkjg #anywho. uh. have a nice day/night if you're reading this!!!! i'm still working on those fic recs i promise!!!! #just taking longer than expected fjdlfgk i wanna make sure i do each fic justice

[goldkirk]

When did the latest 1,000 of you follow me??? good lord hi and welcome, I should maybe pay attention to my notifications and activity page more 😭

#I’m not sure if you showed up about fanfiction or from one of my brief hyperfixations or from the cult post or from Star Trek or batfam #but hi welcome hello! #it’s just this! it’s just this. all the time. I bounce interests and recycle old ones #and share way too much personal life on this blog #especially in post tags #and i really love talking with people but most of the time my brain treats messages and asks and emails and texts #as if they are a deadly danger #so I WILL take up to 7 years to respond #but please know it haunts me every day #and I will get to it eventually #even if it’s long after you unfollowed me potentially #anyway. in this house we stan fairness and authenticity and compassion towards both others and self #and we are a pro skepticism and pro sourced-information and pro scientific research around here #AND obsessed with experiencing existence through the realm of story #I hope you enjoy your time here! you can always stick around and I’m happy to see you #but absolutely unfollow me at any time! curate your online experience! it should be good for you #when I or my blog no longer spark joy #please unfollow. I literally do not care. your experience is supposed to be nice for you #take what serves you and leave the rest. #this is just tumblr. you have a whole life #I’ll never be mad #👍 #2024 #this is a lot of followers. like not five digits a lot but INCOMPREHENSIBLE numbers to ME regardless lol #thanks for following whatever your reason was

[acaesic]

i dont think im capable of being as enthralled with anything else in the world as i am with idkhow. i think this is just who i am now. forever

#im serious #yeah ive had side interests. but every single time its a b-plot to idkhow or i lose interest and return all my energy back to idkhow again #i genuinely dont think im like. capable of caring about anything half as much. #they have had me in the most ridiculous chokehold for the last 2 years and without idkhow i feel half of me is gone #NOT A SINGLE interest of mine has been like THIS. i was hyperfixated on markiplier for like 4 years but it wasnt like THIS #fun fact actually i listened to his song ‘i dont wanna be free’ 400 times. it came out in 2018 and i stopped listening in 2021😭 #BUT GUESS WHAT. IVE HEARD DO IT ALL THE TIME ALMOST 500 TIMES JUST THIS YEAR ALONE #😭😭😭😭 #chase said something alright #idkhow #i struggle with having more than 1 interest at a time and this one will NOT go away so i think. its just written itself into my soul.

[getoutofmytardis]

ed and stede staying with izzy and buttons coming to visit 😭

#i’m going. insane. #WHYD THEY KILL MY FAVOURITE GUY #i have far to many feelings about this just all of it holy shit my my brain is soup #was actually about to cry over this tho #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2e8 #also. i feel in my bones that there will be many scenes in s3 of ed talking to izzy’s grave #also also i hadnt noticed any birds before this that i thought were meant to be buttons but i have been Waitin g and i want to scream #tbf i actually did scream lol it was a wild ride of an episode #also also also since im rambling in the tags already ig lol the only person i’ve been talking to ofmd about is a client of mine lmao #very silly goofy time saw them like a year ago and they came back at the height of my ofmd hyperfixation and it came up #actually one of my favourite sessions and we were both going a bit feral but also slay #probably concerning the number of people i end up talking to about tumblr and fandom shit but also most of my clients are queer and #neurodivergent so maybe it’s not that surprising lol

[dirtbra1n]

there’s a word for it. a name. for the people who take care of corpses before a funeral. hanzawa masato doesn’t remember it right now, though, because right now he’s up in the midnight hours, lying flat on the couch in the living room. too warm. he doesn’t care to remember it, the name.

it’s way, way too warm.

dying used to be simpler than this. there was no pavement, there were no buildings, there were no faceless people.

cold, though. there was cold.

the water wasn’t really flowing, too shallow, he was slowing it down, but his blood was. staining the ice.

it was gross.

he couldn’t stretch out his legs, couldn’t reach his arms out over his head. his fingers were cold and useless and deadened, and slow. the air he was struggling to breathe was pushing in and flowing out of his lungs through the puncture wound in his chest. so slow.

he’s been there before. he’s here now.

sitting stiff in the water, soaked to the bone, dying in isolation. bleeding out, masato thinks he’s alive. suffocating, he’s convinced he won’t be for much longer.

he’s not sure he’s anywhere.

dying used to be so easy.

instead of waiting until he couldn’t stand to look at himself anymore, kneeling until his head went under and waiting it out, probably getting swept away by the current until he crashed downstream—he wouldn’t know, he never lived to see that part—instead of that—

he’s wading around a little lost. he’s bleeding. the ghosts only look at him when they know it’ll sting worst, long shadows cast over the water, malformed specters dancing in mockery of him. he thinks his feet are getting a little worse than sliced up by jagged hateful rocks out of sight. that’s depressingly the least of his worries. it’s being impaled by the moon in a loop of time that fucking hates him. but he’s already bleeding. he’s a little surprised that he’s still got blood to bleed.

instead of releasing what could have become a burden, it’s him standing, helplessly, in the river, night after night after night. because it’s nighttime now. it keeps being nighttime.

it’s the kind of thing you’d almost expect to be a relief.

“hanzawa senpai.”

masato turns his head, creaky like a wooden doll. “…tashiro-kun.”

kimono-clad, he offers a hand. “you’re not face first in muck this time.”

masato doesn’t take it. a sharp smile curves his cheeks, not insincere. “thank you. ‘this time?”

tashiro smiles sheepishly down at him. squints. “did you die?”

“do I look dead?”

it’s hard to see from the water, but masato knows that tashiro’s shifted his eyes. saw it in the back of his mind, recorded on crackly film. he says, instead of answering, “I’ve got bandages.”

masato wishes he had something to rest his elbows on, to brace himself on. it doesn’t feel right playing his games standing upright, his hands in his sleeves instead of holding his head on his shoulders. “ta-shi-ro-kuuun, what do you think I need those for?” masato knows what.

tashiro replies anyway, drily from up on uneven paving, “hanzawa senpai, you’re bleeding. you need blood. to survive.”

“tashiro-kun, did I die?”

things are splintering a little. crackly film.

a web of cracks splitting tashiro’s composure, his voice shaking, “why did you?”

that wasn’t what masato asked.

—

“hanzawa senpai.”

“…”

“senpai.”

“…tashiro-kun.”

“you’re not face first in muck this time.”

the smile’s carving itself in, muscle memory. masato’s not going to ask what he meant by this time. “thank you.”

“did you die?”

“do I look dead?”

in the old school projector film behind his eyelids, the flickering doesn’t feel out of place. “I’ve got bandages.”

“ta-shi-ro-kuuun, what do you think I need those for?” masato’s always known what.

“hanzawa senpai, you’re bleeding. you need blood. to survive.”

“tashiro-kun, did I die?”

the shadows cast by a lantern hidden just behind tashiro make his shoulders look broad. masato swallows down a laugh, but he’s not sure what’s funny. “don’t be shallow, senpai, looks aren’t everything.”

the laugh comes out anyway. he manages, “I feel dead, forget the looks.”

“I can’t. I won’t.”

masato takes his turn to squint. they weren’t taking turns. it doesn’t matter. he doesn’t know if he still feels like laughing. he knows for sure that he can’t think of anything to say.

it’s just as well. tashiro isn’t having the same problem. “I think you should just, I don’t know. care about yourself more.”

masato swallows. his lips press into a chagrined line. “I don’t not care,” he says.

tashiro looks right through him. his eyes are like headlights.

he doesn’t actually need to say it, and masato can tell that he almost doesn’t, but maybe tashiro thought he needed to hear it out loud, feel it taking up space. maybe he was right.

“your caring sucks, senpai. it killed you.”

masato doesn’t want to follow that thread. “how many times have you been here, tashiro-kun?”

tashiro doesn’t buy into it. his demeanor is at once solemn and jarringly pleading, “senpai, won’t you live for once?”

masato means to say it like a joke, because it is one, but by accident the words, “how could I begin to deny you,” are dropping off his tongue, he doesn’t even know why, he doesn’t know why he said that, and no amount of exaggerated irreverence can hide from tashiro—eyes like cleavers, more like—the characters slipping into the water.

the ripples aren’t all that big, but they’re big enough.

like when your head aches, or the gash in your chest is losing you too much blood, or the water is tugging itself a little too close to that gash to be comfortable. something like that. something like that. it’s enough.

he doesn’t think he’s making any sense. it’s just too warm.

“maa-kun,” his older brother’s crooning, pushing his damp bangs off his forehead with cold fingers, “I think you’re sick.”

masato blinks away what he hopes is sweat. “gross.”

“not gross, worrying. sit up please.”

“I’ll throw up.”

“you won’t.”

“you’re right, I won’t.”

he’s getting fussed over in the middle of the night, on the couch that he’s sweating all over, and he’s watching a fan across the room spin and it’s nauseating and he stops looking at it. he’s getting fussed over in the middle of the night, by his older brother, because his mom’s out of town visiting her sister. he’s getting fussed over in the middle of the night, feeling a little out of his body. feeling a little—not at all—a lot like a little kid again. feeling sick, and pathetic.

he goes into the bathroom, wobbly and upset and over-warm, and he throws up.

—

reality’s tearing itself up, his dreams are eating it up, he’s falling apart and melting at the seams, he sits in almost-too-cold water until he thinks he’s gonna throw up again.

put him on ice, already, the sooner the funeral the sooner he can get some fucking rest.

his older brother’s sitting against the door frame, slipping in and out of consciousness. he murmurs, reaching forward to pet his hair, “‘s it too cold?”

masato doesn’t think it’s sweat. “it’s okay.”

—

it wouldn’t have been a very good joke, even if it’d come out right.

masato thinks he just choked around, “I want to. I want to.”

#iii of iii: funeral arrangements #hanzawa to tashiro #hanzawa masato #tashiro gonzaburou #…hanzawa masato’s nii-san as well #getting all my darts tags out of the way first. #now then. it’s been two months. most of what you see here was written in the last two hours #number of reasons for this. no idea what most of them are though #writers block for a bit Maybe ‘‘‘‘hyperfixations’’’’ other than this one DEFINITELY #but also. a breadth of images in my head that want out but maybe don’t fit here or there. Yeah. probably will be a followup of miscellaneous #lines and so on later. like spring cleaning. but on the cusp of the new year #i don’t know. it’s time being weird and dreams being weirder and looping over and over #and it’s the sibling emotion bleeding all over. because that’s where i’ve been since at least november #two months ago ogasawara was supposed to be in funeral arrangements. two months is a long time. #i’m warm while i’m writing this. #also in a little bit of a fugue state. the word masato was looking for was ‘undertaker’ #okay. it’s good to get this out no matter what. because putting myself in a position of obligation with i ii and iii. was bold for me #but. i think i don’t mind in the end #that said What gets written from this point forward gets written. no one expect anything from me for a bit #but also feel free to put thoughts in my head. i do so like using words for those sorts of things #enough from me now. good talk #dirtbrain writing

[corvigae]

talk about your favorite oc, if you have one

OH GOD OKAY GET READY

I have a couple favorites, like 3 immediately pop into my mind when I see "favorite OC," but at the end of the day my favorite of them all is definitely Cosmo Leonard.

This bitch.

She's quite literally one of my other characters (Nova)'s childhood imaginary friend based on her favorite doll who grew up with her, being invisible to anyone else but her, until Nova was able to find a way to make her a real live person some time around their mid-to-late teens. Now, Nova has ADHD, and because Cosmo was imagined by somebody with ADHD, she also has ADHD. And because she spent all of her formative years being invisible and never really experiencing any consequences to her actions and never being told no by an authority figure before in her life, Cosmo really, really doesn't know how to not indulge in her more impulsive thoughts, or have much of a filter when speaking to people because she doesn't have experience with speaking to anybody but Nova! So, as a result she has a very chaotic, impulsive, and sort of childish personality. She's here to have fun and experience things and live life to the fullest!! But that brings up some problems, because in her constant impulsiveness, she sometimes does things that end up hurting the people around her who she cares about, and since she's not used to consequences, it's hard for her to take that into consideration before she acts. And it's not that she doesn't care - she actually cares a LOT! It really really hurts her when she hurts others, and she wants to do better, it's just hard for her.

Addditionally, because Cosmo spent so long not being a "real person," just a concept or a literal plush doll, she sometimes experiences some dissociation and disconnect with the fact that she is in fact an actual person now, and if it gets exceptionally bad and distressing, she ocassionally reverts back to her doll form as a sort of rest period to just take a break from Existing for a bit. One of the biggest triggers of this is actually the aformentioned instances of accidentally upsetting and hurting people, because it can very easily lead to a thought spiral of "I did a bad thing," -> "I'm a bad person," -> "I'm bad at being a person," -> "People were better off when I wasn't a person," -> "I shouldn't be a person."

Despite this negativity and her ocassional mistakes, though, like I said she is genuinely a very kind, caring, fun-loving person who just wants to get the best out of life with the people she loves, and she is actively trying with those people to be better and more conscientious with her actions.

Bonus Fun Facts for if you've read this far:

She's in a band with Nova, where she usually plays either the lead guitar and/or sings, or plays drums when Nova or Matthew are singing.

Her hair is naturally purple with red highlights. Because imaginary friend logic.

She really likes cooking and BAKING especially. Her favorite thing to make is chocolate chip cookies.

She is dating Nova's little brother Ori and I'm obsessed with their relationship.

Here's her playlist which I've specifically curated to have a sort of flow between states of mania and depression bc she's also canonically bipolar.

#my ocs #oc stuff #cosmo leonard #i spent so goddamn long hyperfixated on my leonard family ocs man i thought abt this bitch every single day for like two years STRAIGHT #and i still frequently think abt her she lives in my brain rent free #how did one of my haha silly fun times ocs that came from one of my SIMS GAMES end up being one of my most dynamic and complex characters?? #that's where all the imaginary friend stuff comes from she was a fucking sims 3 sim. nova is an alien and her aunt is a vampire. #shit's WILD #personal grumblings

[eggmeralda]

I wish there was a way you could put like. every song in the world on shuffle

#spotify playlists made for you are not enough #bc they're based on music i already like and i don't Wanna Hear Music I Already Like #god i need a hyperfixation that is Stable and also New (not a revival of one I've had since I was 16) #bc they introduce me to music i wouldn't have even thought of ever going near #not to compare everything to the highs of my tflu obsession but like? #that introduced me to So Much Music (some related. some not) #i probably listened to more genres in 2022 than i have ever listened to in my life #but idk. i could just listen to some random genre i have no interest in but what would be the point? #there needs to be a sort of 'hilda would've liked this in the 40s' 'this reminds me of swagtre' 'this is literally the plot of nddp' etc #sort of connection #but all i have right now is the endless cycling continuation of the south park obsession i had in 2016. which makes it very easy to just #listened to the music i listened to back then #also it's like. I've seen everything in that fandom there's nothing new i can really get out of it? #it's more just a mix of nostalgia and it's like. easy to get into bc idk. a lot of characters and storylines so you don't get bored in one #place for so long. almost the perfect obsession if it wasn't literally South Park #but surely i can just type in a character's name on spotify and find new music that way? #hahaha No #bc every single sp playlist I've looked through only seems to use like the same 10 songs. and i don't really like any of them #also 'he would not fucking say that' except it's 'he would not fucking listen to that' #most of the time. idk #i need new Vibes that's the problem #there's always a new vibe going on at all times but it seems to have stopped around the start of this year #maybe i just need a job. once i have a job there'll be a location i go to regularly. and I'll have to travel there in some way. and that #will be a new experience. and there'll be new vibes #I'll probably stumble across a new hyperfixation in the process. and then find new music from it #but for now everything is so stagnant and all i really listen to is 80s/90s indie pop and then just music i've listened to since I was 14 #i can't even ask for recommendations bc even if i like a song it has nothing to stick to in my brain #i'll be like ''this is a cool song i like it'' and listen to it on repeat and then go off it like a day later #oh fuck tag limit #ramble

[cementcornfield]

.

#so like i've had my foot out the door with sm for almost a year now #i've watched exactly one podcast episode since october #and most of the sonic series plus some truck sims #so i get that it's easier for me than for those who are still in full hyperfixation mode #but yeah i think that's about it for me! #they're not evil they're just dumb and selfish and have had no accountability for years #i'm not discounting that they've been through a lot and i'm always gonna be fond of my time being a fan #but like come on guys #also fuck jim i've hated jim since day 1 THIS IS WHY YOU SIDE WITH BILLIE AND THEN YOU COULD HAVE HAD JAKEY YOU COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER #but that's neither here nor there #matt really unfollowed jim while they're all across the country on tour together like today like right now?? #the vibes must be atrocious on that tour bus #(or you know very possible he and jim are still cool and he's just trying to save his image. again.) #also ryan did shitty things too it's not all on matt. yes ryan was supportive at first but he let matt influence him very easily here #supermega - 2 dudes 0 spines

[netscapenavigaytor]

the stage in a hyperfixation wehre every day you go talk to a friend on the same wavelength of insanity about it as you, and every day emerge from the dms shaking and covered in blood .

#error 0 #literally nothing but evil shit goes on in the interest channels i have with my sibling i stg #for the past week not a single day has gone by without one of us making the other so fucking sad about our jsr hcs. #to say fucking nothing of the darkness that was going on back at the peak of the kirby hypfix. #true ----- veterans remember us talking abt our oc finite as Haha Wacky Cabbit and then like 70% of the art we put out #was alarming eyestrain unreality bullshit that no one had the ----- and pseud context for #i think. most people never even found out all the Finite Deeplore #...hm side note this is maybe the third time ive found myself talking about me and pseud's jsr headcanons and the finiteverse #in the same breath. i hope thats not an omen #kirby is one thing bc kirby has a Lot going on #but a 1-2 year jet set radio hypfix where i get consumed in an ouroboros of my own nonsense? that's scary. #i think it's not super likely though - as stated it's an ouroboros #jsr is so starved of official media and i have a chronic aversion to fancontent #so the moment me and pseud stop feeding into each other's brainrot the fixation is dead in the water #...That Being Said. you never know. bc the finiteverse kept chugging along #even when me and pseud could go months at a time without touching any official kirby content #and honestly the kirby hypfix might have been the START of my fancontent aversion #and things got so scary in the finiteverse. writing a fucking worldbuilding wiki and shit #(never got to a presentable state though) #why am i speculating on the trajectory of my hyperfixations like its a goddamn weather forecast. that wasnt the point of this post #welcome to netscapenavigaytor dot tumblr dot com where i say anything #remember kids. be shameless in talking about your interests or else you will be like me #and just talk AROUND your interests instead of about them

[mitski-slope]

case 1 is so funny 2 me bc like . either laurent picked up a Random candy brand and thought . hey . These Ones could probably pass as drugs . haha jk unless … and just went on the assumption that cassano would never hv found out (likely) Or he went thru the trouble of personally making his own Looks Like Candy Is Candy But Also Acts As Fake Contraband product for the sake of the con (less likely but infinitely funnier)

#hes so extra i think he would . can u see laurent the candy maker (Actual Candy . not even as an allusion to drugs like Just candy) as clear #as i can #on one hand he did make that whole team confidence thing in case 2 . on the other hand that was more necessary #i think he does see conning as a form of art so maybe … #the Hyperfixation got me thinking ab the dumbest most insignificant things . sorry everyone . #all of my original posts ab gp r going to be like this until i can see razbliuto so i apologise in advance #untypoed 4 everyones convenience . one day i will learn how 2 type . #its not today or this week or this year but One day the world will see my hypothetical 107 wpm w 98% accuracy and cower #great pretender #grepre #laurent thierry #hey‚ hamlet. be more chill !!

[rox-of-iu]

how is a man supposed to odmaturovat when my head is soooo empty but also soso so so full o(-(

#not art #crys #přituhuje přituhuje #anyway předmaturitní období is going completely /fine/ for anyone asking #pap has been sending me bronze age memes ive been scrolling through pictures of birds for two hours and who knows what aras be doing #cryptid at this point #dsjhc but anyway history+art 🤝bio+chem🤝math+phys - not having a single clue what we doing hsjkdhsa #solidarity #also i managed to last minute hyperfixate on a most beloved book series from my childhood hdkashdahkj #which i have been doodling amongst my equations lmao so once im done with all this ill be posting some things for that #since AF be holding my hand throughout these tough times ✊but like on one hand #emotional support beloved book...on the other hand gET OUT OF MY HEAD WHAT A BAD TIMING- #hahjahjkhs not to worry i will also come back to what i usually post once all this is done #only -checks watch- 7days UH OG HAHA ANYWAY and uhhhh then a month to speedrun studies for UNI entrance exams #but after that!!!!! ART TIMEE YIPEEE finally ill work on my liu//shen and N/HS animatic that ive been looking forward to for like a year no #lol #also speaking of liu'd shens #im that meme of squidward next to his window and spongebob and patrick is everyone talking about new cultivate chapters jhdkshdks #soon.....i will be able to catch up soon.......HAJHKS #anyway thats about it #im soooooooooooo tired my bones feel like theyll fall off and my brain is meltingg o(TヘTo) #but eh- gtg back to organic chemistry now bye byee everyone have a good day kissb xD

[frostbite-the-bat]

remembering old fandoms and rps and aus i had and im realizing this isnt the first time an au version of frostbite interacted a lot with someone who at least in text had a quirk that does something to the letter s which is ironic considering their name

#...........im talking about hr again sorry my condition gets worse each day especially when im more open about it #the previous/other one was a few years back. #it was . my gorillaz days...! and my gangreen gang specific hyperfix...! (never actually watched ppg) #they were besties with snake and there was a joke they adopted him and that he was their “sssson” even if they were only like a year older #our au ggg was very different bc it was like 4-3 ppl rping our own shit but it was very found family and backstories were Angsty #and obviously snake hisssssesss hisss letter sss #then hr haff hiff liffp #fun fact i used to have a pretty nasty lisp when i was younger before i got my teeth fixed up a bit so i honestly unironically love #characters with any kind of lisp even if its the daffy duck kind (who may be a bit hard for me to understand when voice acted like that but #i still Enjoy) #(i need subtitles for literally anything anyway) #anyways ggg au frostbite is also the edgiest of all the au frostbites that exist #least developed/just cool design is glamrock frost #most developed as a character and MOST goofy is toontown frost #anyways back on the lisp whoever put the letter s into the word lisp genuinely needs to die. and the word stop. yes i got bullied about #my lisp why do you ask #ok since im rambling heres a bigger ramble #both gorillaz and hr make me feel better abt my teeth #all the band members in gorillaz have mad fucked up teeth and i didnt have access to a good dentist until like 2020. i was endlessly #bullied for my teeth and i had difficulities eating some things and other health issues because i had horrid teeth bc of genes + my parents #didnt teach me to clean my teeth properly like wow you gotta go BETWEEN the teeth. the white stuff that covers your teeth ISNT GOOD ACTUALL #and hr has a mad overbite and i have that too so that makes me feel better..ive been rlly subconscious abt that lately actually #still wondering why nobody bothered gettin that fixed but i guess everything else was a bigger issue #and the fact i was missing my front teeth #yeah my health back then wasnt the best ! and i was bullied abt it even by my own best friends parents! no good! but seeing silly band #members who r fictional who i was hyperfixated on helped me feel better #man wish i could hide stuff from appearing in tag searches bc i just like rambling in the tags #but then i say one word and it appears in the tags and im super subconsious about it now bc i made one ramble and boom why is it in the #hr tag :sob: :skull: #OH WELL.

[beesinspades]

I love trigun so much.....i love vash so much.....it just feels so special. it's literally become my muse I've never drawn this much in my entire life I'm just so enamored with it and vash and aaahhh. a few weeks ago a friend told me that it's like vash was made in a lab specifically for me and I mean. yeah. I love him I love him so so much he's literally my dream fictional character it's like I won the fictional character jackpot. he's so so special to me nightow I owe you my life

#and my sanity this year #bee talks #SORRY I JUST!!! FEEL FEELINGS!!!!! #god I don't want this hyperfixation to pass #I can't bear to think of the day I'll see art of him and feel nothing #I hope he's special #I hope he's the one #I hope he's my lugia of humanoid characters #(lugia was my first ever fave fictional character I love them since I was 6 and unlike all my other hyperfixations this one stayed) #(like it's just been in the background my whole life I still collect things about lugia and look forward to lugia things) #(meanwhile doctor who was my biggest hyperfixation it lasted 4-5 years and it was literally my whole life. #but now you couldn't get me to feel a fraction of the excitement I used to feel over it. even with david tennant coming back. I'm excited! #but it's not the same. so yeah I hope trigun and vash are a new lugia. I think they could be. I want them to be.) #anywayyy sorry I'm weird #also re: vash made in a lab for me it's so funny because it's really 100% exclusively about his character #apart from the wings and scars thing it's got nothing to do with his appearance #and it's funny because originally I saw trimax vash after getting into tristamp and I was like 'ugh I don't really like how he looks here' #FOOL!!!!! #now he's my favorite and I draw him the most smh #but yeah peak example of a character's appearance growing on me because he's beautifully written and ticks all my boxes #confession though: I still don't like '98 anime and pre-trimax manga vash's look 😔 I'm a tristamp and trimax only #'98 vash looks great when he's sad though :)

[hide-your-bugs-away]

All of my Animals vinyls + CDs + magazines, as well as my entire magazine collection and Alan Price collection (so far). 😔🙏

#first magazine ever was the june 1965 issue of rave with homoerotic bob dylan/donovan on the front 🥺🥺🥺 #s o proud of how far i've come... this is almost two years worth of collecting #got most of my rave and pop weekly issues in lots #everything else i got individually because there was a specific article i wanted to read (usually having to do with donovan or the animals) #speaking of animals....... y e a h no points as to what my favorite band is (and my favorite musician) 😐😐😐 #i'm only really interested in collecting vinyls and cds of their (and alan's) music in particular 😔 #it personally feels good to hyperfixate on collecting things for just one or two pieces of media.... as narrow as it may seem. 😔 #da animals are just ....... up there with connie's comforting greats #also their music just slaps in general i could listen to them (and alan price circa '66-'75) forever #i will have all of their albums on vinyl some day...... #anyway i appreciate y'all for enduring all of my gay ravings (gavings) for so long 😔🙏 #once i have a job again i am going to get m o r e especially those issues of beat instrumental with alan articles in them.. 👀 #and more melody maker...... #not a second mag #the animals #eric burdon #hilton valentine #chas chandler #john steel #alan price #dave rowberry #classic rock #60's rock #british invasion #proud of my bonovan and aleric poster frames i love them 😔🙏 #collection #vintage collector